Freaks and Leaks

Speaker 1 Love it or leave it is brought to you by fast-growing trees.

Speaker 1 Did you know that fast-growing trees is the biggest online nursery in the US with thousands of different plants and over 2 million happy customers?

Speaker 1 They have all the plants your yard needs, like fruit trees, privacy trees, flowering trees, shrubs, and so much more.

Speaker 1 Whatever plants you're interested in, fast-growing trees has you covered, find the perfect fit for your climate and space.

Speaker 1 Fast-growing trees makes it easy to get your dream yard, order online, and get your plants delivered directly to your door in just a few days without ever leaving home.

Speaker 1 They're alive and thrive guarantee ensures your plants arrive happy and healthy.

Speaker 1 Plus, get support from trained plant experts on call to help you plan your landscape choose the right plants and learn how to care for them i'm very excited about fast-growing trees i think sometimes like thinking about how to plant in your yard can be daunting and overwhelming because you don't know what to do and you don't know how to do it but this is a really great way to try and learn and you don't have to go to a nursery and feel like you're not sure what you're doing you can just go with fast growing trees and you know they have the guarantee so so check it out and this spring they have the best deals for your yard up to half off on select plants and other deals and listeners to our show get 15 off their first purchase when using the code love it at checkout, that's an additional 15% off at fastgrowingtrees.com.

Speaker 1 Using the code loveit at checkout, fastgrowingtrees.com, code love it. Now's the perfect time to plant.
It's spring. Use love it to save today.
Offer is valid for a limited time.

Speaker 1 Terms and conditions may apply.

Speaker 1 Hey, everybody, if you're a regular listener to Love It or Leave It or Pod Save America or, you know, you have a...

Speaker 1 Pulse,

Speaker 1 you know how important it is for us to build a big,

Speaker 1 diverse, democratic movement to fight the rising right-wing, authoritarian government that's unfolding at a college campus near you.

Speaker 1 That's why I love and highly recommend you check out the Bulwark podcast. I'm a listener.
John's a listener. Love the Bulwark podcast.
Don't miss an episode.

Speaker 1 It's hosted by our friend Tim Miller, who's a former Republican operative, turned anti-Trump crusader.

Speaker 1 He did what a lot of people were too chicken shit to do, which is tell the truth about the threat Trump poses. Took a lot of risks to do that.
Not a lot of Republicans were

Speaker 1 righteous and moral enough enough to do that. And the people at the Bulwark are doing really, really great work.
And their podcast features a wide range of guests from across the political spectrum.

Speaker 1 They have some Democrats, they have some Republicans, they have some Republicans who are surprisingly now cheering on AOC.

Speaker 1 If you told them a few years ago that that's what they're doing, I think they'd be pretty surprised. The point is they are on Team Democracy, which hopefully you are too.

Speaker 1 So tune in as they cover where the Democratic Party goes from here, what Donald Trump is up to, and who's affected by all of it.

Speaker 1 No one knows the dark side better than somebody like Tim, who used to be on it.

Speaker 1 We love the Bulwark. We're huge fans of what they're building over there and we really want to support it.

Speaker 1 So check out the Bulwark podcast on YouTube or listen and subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.

Speaker 1 What's up, Los Angeles? Welcome to Love It or Leave It Live from Dynasty Typewriter, which is also the only device Michael Waltz is now allowed to use.

Speaker 1 We've got a great show for you tonight. Star of stage and screen Barbie Ferreira.

Speaker 1 Jared Goldstein is back.

Speaker 1 Then we wrap it all up by lowering our defenses and sharing a text gone wrong.

Speaker 1 But first, let's get into it. What a week.

Speaker 1 On Monday, the Atlantic's editor-in-chief, Jeffrey Goldberg, reported one of the wildest stories of our time. He had accidentally been added to a signal group chat where U.S.

Speaker 1 national security leaders were planning military strikes in Yemen. Part of what makes this so incredible is that Trump fucking hates the Atlantic.

Speaker 1 It'd be like if someone on my team accidentally looped in Samuel Alito.

Speaker 1 Why was Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito in your contacts, Hallie?

Speaker 1 The group congratulated each other following the strike with National Security Advisor Michael Waltz sending three emojis, Fist American flag, fire.

Speaker 1 Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth replied with a martini emoji, followed by five more martini emojis,

Speaker 1 followed by car emoji.

Speaker 1 The bad sign.

Speaker 1 The shocking lapse led to outrage amongst national security experts and Democrats. Here's Pete Buttigieg.

Speaker 2 And to see this administration

Speaker 2 claiming that it cares about competence and merit and then be responsible for an epic fuck-up like this

Speaker 2 demonstrates that these are not serious people.

Speaker 1 How dare you say we're not serious? We're deadly serious about the deal you can get on a new Tesla, said Donald Trump.

Speaker 1 Hillary Butter emails Clinton,

Speaker 1 posted the article with an eyeballs emoji, writing, You have got to be kidding me.

Speaker 1 Then the usher at Anne Juliet told her to put her phone away,

Speaker 1 But it was worth it.

Speaker 1 Republicans, meanwhile, vacillated between the mildest of criticisms and declaring the whole fiasco a hoax.

Speaker 1 House Speaker Mike Johnson called the signal chat a mistake, but when asked whether Waltz and Hegset should be disciplined, he replied, No, no, of course not.

Speaker 1 There's no reason to discipline these men, Johnson continued, a little lump in his throat. There's no reason to teach these boys a lesson.

Speaker 1 a little strange. In a press conference the next day, Johnson said of Waltz, He was born for the job.
He is highly qualified. The president said he has total confidence in him, and we do as well.

Speaker 1 And this man, this man was born to be a surgeon, said Mike Johnson, watching a guy drop a kidney on the floor, then kick it across the OR, and then when he tries to grab it, he accidentally knocks the IV out of a patient's arm, sending a streak of blood across the faces of several gobsmack nurses.

Speaker 1 Hegseth

Speaker 1 was asked about the story on Monday and said this.

Speaker 4 Can you share how your information about war plans against the Houthis in Yemen was shared with a journalist in the Atlantic?

Speaker 5 And were those details classified?

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 you're talking about a

Speaker 5 deceitful and highly discredited so-called journalist who's made a profession of peddling hoaxes time and time again.

Speaker 1 Heg Seth continued, please write down that I shared classified information with someone who is bad.

Speaker 1 Also at this point, the White House has admitted that the group chat is real. It's too late to say a hoax.
The hoax ship has sailed and you've leaked its coordinates.

Speaker 1 Trump reportedly is fuming in private, but tried to play down the whole mess in public.

Speaker 1 The main thing was nothing happened.

Speaker 6 The attack was totally successful.

Speaker 6 It was, I guess, from what I understand, took place during, and it wasn't classified information. So this was not classified.
Now, if it's classified information, it's probably a little bit different.

Speaker 6 But I always say you have to learn from every experience.

Speaker 1 That's

Speaker 1 that wise energy we always get from Donald Trump. It's not about how much you make, it's about what you learn.
It's about being curious. That's what he's always said.

Speaker 1 Think of every job, opportunity, as a chance to learn and grow in your field.

Speaker 1 It was an honest mistake sharing classified attack plans with a random journalist on a group thread using an insecure platform while several of the participants were out of the country, including in Russia, on personal devices that are almost certainly compromised in a way that could have gotten Americans killed.

Speaker 1 But it's not dangerous like publishing an op-ed critical of Israel in a college newspaper.

Speaker 1 That shit should destroy your life.

Speaker 1 By delightful coincidence, five of the nation's top intelligence officials, including Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard and CIA Director John Radcliffe, both of whom were on the Signal group chat, were already scheduled to appear before the Senate Intelligence Committee on Tuesday.

Speaker 1 Gabbard claimed not to recall any discussion of specific weapons targets or timing and refused to answer if she joined the chat from her personal phone or government phone.

Speaker 7 Were you overseas during any parts of these discussions?

Speaker 8 Yes, Senator, I was.

Speaker 1 Were you using your private phone or public phone for the signal discussions?

Speaker 8 I I won't speak to this because it's under review.

Speaker 1 This is the review.

Speaker 1 You're at it. Look around.
You're being asked questions in front of a congressional committee that oversees your agency.

Speaker 1 If you're meeting with HR and they're asking, did you take all the baby bell cheeses from the office kitchen home with you? You can't say this is not the time or the place. Babe, it's the time.

Speaker 1 It's the place. Where's our fucking cheese?

Speaker 1 Later on Tuesday, Waltz went on on Fox News and took full responsibility for accidentally adding a journalist to the signal chat. I'm kidding, of course.
He said this.

Speaker 9 How did a Trump-hating editor of The Atlantic end up on your Signal chat?

Speaker 2 You know, Laura, I'm not a conspiracy theorist, but of all the people out there,

Speaker 2 somehow this guy who has lied about the president, who has lied to Gold Star families, lied to their attorneys,

Speaker 2 and gone to Russia hoax, gone to just all kinds of lengths to lie and smear the president of the United States.

Speaker 2 And he's the one that somehow gets on somebody's contact and then gets sucked into this group.

Speaker 1 Bitch, do you think Jeffrey Goldberg is the riddler?

Speaker 1 When Press Waltz offered this explanation of how Goldberg wound up in the chat.

Speaker 9 Oh, you don't know what staffer is responsible for this right now?

Speaker 2 Well, look, a staffer wasn't responsible.

Speaker 1 But how did the number?

Speaker 2 Have you ever had somebody's contact that shows their name and then

Speaker 1 you have somebody else's number?

Speaker 9 You didn't make those mistakes.

Speaker 2 Right? You've got somebody else's number on someone else's contact. So, of course, I didn't see this loser in the group.
It looked like someone else.

Speaker 2 Now, whether he did it deliberately or it happened in some other technical mean is something we're trying to figure out.

Speaker 1 Totally. One quick follow-up.
What?

Speaker 1 Jeff is a middle-aged journalist from the Atlantic. I think if you told him right now that to get a big scoop, he had to sign and return a PDF over email, you got like a 50-50 shot.

Speaker 1 What are you talking about? Also, you're a 51-year-old man calling somebody a loser because you fucked up. Jeffrey Goldberg did nothing wrong.
You are lucky that he was incredibly responsible.

Speaker 1 He didn't report it before the mission. He redacted the portions that were classified until you claim they weren't.
You should be thanking Jeffrey Goldberg. It's not his fault.

Speaker 1 He's saving your phone as News Jew and then

Speaker 1 his name popped up when you tried to add War Jew to the chat.

Speaker 1 But these bumbling oaths can't even agree on a lie. Here's Donald Trump just hours later claiming that it was a staffer who was responsible.

Speaker 3 What it was, we believe, is somebody that was on the line with permission, somebody that was with Mike Waltz, worked for Mike Waltz at a lower level,

Speaker 3 had

Speaker 3 I guess Goldberg's number

Speaker 3 were called through the app, and somehow this guy ended up on the call.

Speaker 1 So, first of all, he thinks it's a call.

Speaker 1 Well, I'll tell you, it sounds like we need a fewer let's bomb Yemen signal chats and a few more, let's get our fucking story straight, Google meets.

Speaker 1 After Trump and national security officials denied that classified information was shared in the signal chat, Goldberg on Wednesday published the text that he had initially withheld, writing, People should see the text in order to reach their own conclusions.

Speaker 1 Hell yeah. More like Hefe, Goldberg.

Speaker 1 Anyway, here are the texts Hegses sent in a signal chat with a journalist in it before the U.S. attacked Houthi targets.
Time now, 1144 ET, weather is favorable.

Speaker 1 Just confirmed with CENCOM we are go for missile launch. 1215 ET, F-18s launch, first strike package.
1345, trigger-based, F-18, first strike window starts.

Speaker 1 Target terrorist is at his known location, so should be on time. Also, strike drones launch, MQ-9s.

Speaker 1 Look, I don't know all the rules about what's classified and what's not, but I do know that if Philip and Elizabeth Jennings got a hold of this kind of information on an episode of The Americans, Margot Martindale would come in her pants.

Speaker 1 Hag Seth continued. 1410, more F-18s launched, second strike package.
1415, strike drones on target. This is when the first bombs will definitely drop.

Speaker 1 Hag Seth is trying to impress the group chat like he's the brother of the groom trying to fit in during the bachelor weekend.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm saying? Like no business. That information did not need to be shared.
He seemed like he wanted to seem cool in front of his new friends.

Speaker 1 Let's also, now we just heard that level of detail, right? Let's circle back to that Senate hearing for a moment.

Speaker 2 Was there any mention, Ms.

Speaker 1 Gabbard, of a weapon or weapons system?

Speaker 8 I don't recall specific weapons systems being named.

Speaker 1 I'm not talking about specific, any weapon or weapon system.

Speaker 8 I don't recall specific names names of systems or weapons being used.

Speaker 1 I think I understand what's happening. If you have a question about weapon stuff, you have to ask Gabbard's any.

Speaker 1 I will say, Gabbard claiming not to recall messages she got two weeks ago is credible to me. Gabbard feels like one of those people with 300 unread texts.

Speaker 1 You forget she's even in the group chat until she pops up three days later with a great job in Yemen, everyone. I lost my phone at the Kremlin LOL.

Speaker 1 Following Goldberry's release of the damning specifics, intelligence officials were back in Congress to do some cleanup. Here's Tulsi again.

Speaker 8 My answer yesterday was based on my recollection or the lack thereof on the details that were posted there.

Speaker 8 I was not, and what was shared today reflects the fact that I was not directly involved with that part of the signal chat.

Speaker 7 So it's your testimony that less than two weeks ago, you were on a signal chat that had all of this information about F-18s and MQ-9 Reapers and targets on strike, and you, in that two-week period, simply forgot that that was there.

Speaker 7 That's your testimony?

Speaker 8 My testimony is: I did not recall the exact details of what was included there.

Speaker 1 Totally. One quick follow-up.
Huh?

Speaker 1 Hegseth, for his part, continued to deny that any classified information was shared in the chat.

Speaker 5 Nobody's texting or plans. There's no units, no locations, no routes, no flight paths, no sources, no methods, no classified information.

Speaker 1 And furthermore, I did not have a drink. There's no bitters, no vermouth, no schnapps, no olives, no lemon peels, no maraschino cherries.
You accuse me of drinking.

Speaker 1 But where are the maraschino cherries?

Speaker 1 Hegseth moves the pond diagonally seven spaces,

Speaker 1 knocking over a rook and a bishop before resting next to the queen. Checkmate, bitches.

Speaker 1 A defense official familiar with the operation told reporters that the information Hegseth declosed was indeed highly classified when he disclosed it and could have put lives at risk because the operation hadn't even begun.

Speaker 1 But you knew that. You knew that because you have never read in the newspaper that American F-18s will be on their way to bomb something in two hours.

Speaker 1 You have only heard about it after the fact because you do not have a security clearance and you are not Atlantic editor-in-chief Jeffrey Goldberg.

Speaker 1 Attorney General Pam Bondi on Thursday did her part as a Trump lackey opposing an investigation and claiming that the details of forthcoming strikes in Yemen were not classified.

Speaker 10 If you want to talk about classified information, talk about what was at Hillary Clinton's home that she was trying to bleach bit, talk about the classified documents in Joe Biden's garage that Hunter Biden had access to.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we talked about that.

Speaker 1 Now we're talking about this.

Speaker 1 because this just happened. We talk about new stuff more than the old stuff because we already talked about the old stuff.
In 2016, we talked about arrival and her emails.

Speaker 1 In 2025, we're talking about severance. And we're talking about this.

Speaker 1 It's neither here nor there, but Pam Bondi is 59. She looks incredible.

Speaker 1 It's kind of terrifying, actually.

Speaker 1 Most of Trump's goons slowly look on the outside like they do on the inside, these sort of barely upright screeching gargoyles, or vaguely like Ellen Burston in the third act of Requiem for a Dream.

Speaker 1 Anyway, just watch this space.

Speaker 1 Speaking of defying the laws of God and man, on Monday, the Justice Department once again refused to provide Judge James Boesberg additional information about two flights of Venezuelan immigrants sent to El Salvador in violation of his temporary ban.

Speaker 1 In their response to his request, Bondi, along with Secretary of State Marco Rubio and Homeland Security Secretary and former dog owner Christy Noam, invokes Invoked the state secrets privilege, claiming that revealing flight details would potentially threaten national security.

Speaker 1 So I guess we all now sit tight and wait for somebody to accidentally add Maggie Haberman to the deportation slag.

Speaker 1 On Monday, a D.C. appeals court heard arguments about the Trump administration's use of the Alien Enemies Act for these deportations.

Speaker 1 Said federal appeals judge Patricia Millett: There were plane loads of people. There were no procedures in place to notify people.
Nazis got better treatment under the Alien Enemies Act.

Speaker 1 And you should see how they treat the Nazis now.

Speaker 1 Added Millett, y'all y'all could have picked me up on Saturday and thrown me on a plane thinking I'm a member of Trendearagua and given me no chance to protest it and say somehow it's a violation of presidential war powers for me to say, excuse me, no, I'm not.

Speaker 1 I'd like a hearing. And don't write that down in your planner.
I can see counsel writing that down.

Speaker 1 Give them any ideas.

Speaker 1 On Wednesday, Noam toured El Salvador's terrorism confinement center, the 40,000-inmate prison where Trump has sent the Venezuelans, like she does every month to relax and unwind.

Speaker 1 Only this time, a film crew was there. During her visit, Noam posed in front of dozens of shirtless men with shaved heads made to stand behind her for the photo op.

Speaker 11 I also want everybody to know: if you come to our country illegally, this is one of the consequences you could face.

Speaker 1 Having to meet me, Christy Noam.

Speaker 1 She posed in front of Salvadorian prisoners held indefinitely by the right-wing government.

Speaker 1 They are not the Venezuelans the administration claims are gang members, nor the several people the administration has kidnapped, even though they had applied for immigration status through legal means and seem to only be guilty of having having unrelated tattoos, including this tattoo about autism awareness.

Speaker 1 On the bright side, a lot of guys in Trende Aragua are going to be a little bit more aware of autism.

Speaker 1 Those hostages were never given a chance to notify family or call lawyers or speak to a judge and have no idea that right now there are people fighting for their freedom.

Speaker 1 They're just trapped in an Orwellian nightmare with no visitors or ways to communicate with the outside world in a country that is not their own with no end in sight. Punchline TBD.

Speaker 1 Now Republicans are trying to claim that by talking about this or being upset about this, we're falling into a trap. No, we already fell in the trap.

Speaker 1 The election was a big pit covered with fucking leaves and we fell in it and we don't totally know how to get out.

Speaker 1 But I'm casting my lot with the people clawing at the walls, not the people sitting in the center. Hoping somebody else will figure it out.
Punchline TBD.

Speaker 1 On Friday, Columbia University caved to the Trump administration, which had demanded a number of policy changes in order to restore $400 million in unrelated federal funding.

Speaker 1 This includes placing the curriculum and hiring decisions of the university's Middle East Studies Department, among several others, in control of a new provost.

Speaker 1 Also, Women in Gender Studies is now called the Ugly Woke Bitches Department.

Speaker 1 It's too far. It's too far.

Speaker 1 Remember when conservatives worried about free speech on campus?

Speaker 1 You would think they might notice that the president determining hiring decisions in particular departments of a private university might be some kind of an infringement on free inquiry, free association, and freedom of speech.

Speaker 1 And yet they don't seem to care. Isn't that amazing?

Speaker 1 Isn't that amazing that after all these years about hearing about the threat to free speech on campus, it turns out it was students yelling that was the threat, not the federal government telling a university in Manhattan, no less,

Speaker 1 who can be in charge of various departments, setting policy. The president of the United States, who should be busier,

Speaker 1 is basically making himself a board member of Columbia University, making specific policy decisions about what happens on this private campus.

Speaker 1 And Columbia, this institution of higher learning, this American institution as old as the country, supposedly a defender of liberal values, small L liberal values, basic free inquiry, the freedom of expression, of curiosity, of intellectual enterprise.

Speaker 1 They fucking cave. They fucking cave, which means they're more afraid of Trump than they're afraid of their alumni, than they're afraid of their faculty, than they're afraid of their students.

Speaker 1 I wonder if they're right. Because right now it seems like they're right.
It seems like they're right to be more afraid of Trump than they are of the people.

Speaker 1 Because there were a lot of protests at Columbia last year. Where are the protests now?

Speaker 1 Donald Trump is daring us. Every day he's daring us.
And I'm, look, I'm part of it. I'm part of the problem.

Speaker 1 I care about this. I pay attention to this.
But I'm part of the problem because every day I treat like a normal day. I'm being part of the problem.
All of us do. And there's nothing wrong with that.

Speaker 1 We have to live our lives, but he is doing just enough. He is going dark enough.
He is going far enough just to the edge of where it would be unacceptable for us to have a normal night.

Speaker 1 But we all do, right? We pay attention. We think the news is harrowing.
Let's talk about something else. We're all doing that.
We're all doing it every day. I'm not saying we're wrong.

Speaker 1 I'm not judging it. I'm doing the same thing.
But how much worse does it have to get before it feels strange to just be in a restaurant? It's not that much worse. But he knows that.
They know that.

Speaker 1 Maybe it's purposeful. Maybe it's the luck of this kind of reckless, haphazard way of doing business.

Speaker 1 Maybe it's the combination of their malevolence and incompetence, but they are doing just enough to scare us, to threaten us, but to let us at night turn on our fucking real housewives, all right, and turn our brains off and to have the normal parts of our lives, right?

Speaker 1 To plan a trip over the summer, to plan a wedding. And I don't know how much longer that can go on.
But right now,

Speaker 1 those of us that are paying attention are wondering why so many others who aren't paying attention don't think it's so bad. And a little bit of that is on us.

Speaker 1 And I don't know what it's going to take, and I don't know how bad it gets before we could wake up, but the test for all of us is going to be what it looks like when we actually, actually wake up.

Speaker 1 And I don't know what the answer is, but I think it starts by wondering what it will take for institutions, even the craven, feckless, pathetic, valueless institutions are more scared of us than they are of Donald Trump.

Speaker 1 Because right now, they are correct to be more scared of Donald Trump. And at some point, that has to change.
And I don't know what it looks like, but it has to change.

Speaker 1 I'll tell you one place where we're trying to change it is, so I went to Wisconsin.

Speaker 1 just to kind of knock on doors, be part of these canvases to see what's happening there as they're fighting the Supreme Court race.

Speaker 1 And one of the reasons it's so important is Elon Musk has dropped $13 million into this Wisconsin Supreme Court race. Why?

Speaker 1 So that they can install a MAGA guy on the Supreme Court, someone that will rule in Musk's favor.

Speaker 1 They have a lawsuit in Wisconsin, but also somebody that if they challenge elections, that they have a favorable court, someone that'll put back in place an abortion ban, someone that will make sure that they don't have fair maps in Wisconsin.

Speaker 1 Wisconsin had this gerrymandered both assembly map and congressional map. Wisconsin, 50-50 state, famously, it goes back and forth, right?

Speaker 1 They have six Republican members of Congress and two Democrats. Six, two.
It's a 50-50 state. Why? Because the supermajority in the the Republican legislature drew those maps.

Speaker 1 And we finally have a chance. We have a progressive majority on that court that just put in place fair assembly maps.
It allowed Democrats to pick up a bunch of seats and break that super majority.

Speaker 1 The same thing could happen for the congressional maps. Not saying Republicans won't, they'll be able to win their seats.
It just won't be as unfair. They'll have to fight for them.

Speaker 1 And they don't want that. They want to take back that court.
And right now, a bunch of Republicans in that state and a bunch of Republicans across the country are watching.

Speaker 1 What's going to matter more? Is it going to be people being angry at what Musk and Trump are doing? Or is it going to be Musk's money that wins the day?

Speaker 1 Because if the money wins, then all these House members who are going to have to decide whether or not to vote for reconciliation, are going to have to decide whether or not to vote for tax cuts for billionaires and Medicaid cuts, even though it's bad for their constituents.

Speaker 1 They have to decide, what are they more afraid of? Are they afraid of Musk dropping money on their heads in a primary and standing with their voters?

Speaker 1 Or are they going to stick with Musk, have Musk money in the fall of 2026 to protect them from the wrath of the voters when they do something awful for their district?

Speaker 1 And what's happening in Wisconsin is one of the first big tests of that, which is why if you're hearing this and you have friends in Wisconsin, text them.

Speaker 1 Text anyone you know who lives in Wisconsin to make sure they turn out and vote for Judge Susan Crawford to protect abortion, protect democracy, and stop Elon Musk from buying an election.

Speaker 1 If you want to do something in the last days, this election is on Tuesday, April 1st, go to Vote Save America and sign up. We have to win this.
If we want to turn the tide, it's going to start there.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 And it was great, by the way. And if anybody listening to this came out, it was great to see you.
It's also, by the way, anyone listening, find one of these events,

Speaker 1 go to these town halls, go to these gatherings where Republicans aren't having town halls. We have to get out of our houses.
We have to get off our phones. We have to be among people.

Speaker 1 The phones are a big part of the problem. Expecting to think we can solve this from our fucking screens is the problem.

Speaker 1 So if you're hearing this, go to votesaveamerica.com, find a town hall, get out of your house, go be among people.

Speaker 1 Solidarity is not just about politics, it's about the kind of communities we live in, the society we live in.

Speaker 1 You can't make it at home. So please, please, please go to Vote Save America and sign up.
All right. On Wednesday, thank you, whatever.

Speaker 1 On Wednesday, a video of Tufts student and Turkish national, Rameza Oz Turk, being arrested by massed ICE agents hit the internet. First, you only get into Tufts.

Speaker 1 And then this.

Speaker 1 That's right.

Speaker 1 On Thursday, Marco Rubio confirmed that Oz Turk's F-1 visa had been revoked for her activism. Here's what he told reporters.

Speaker 1 So there's no evidence she was actually involved in any of what he criticized. He talked about vandalism, arrests, occupying buildings.
She wrote an op-ed.

Speaker 1 And others who might share that opinion were a party to a ruckus. What the fuck is a ruckus? What's the standard standard here? You are associated with a ruckus?

Speaker 1 You are loosely affiliated with a ruckus? Can you be deported for a hullabaloo? Can you be arrested by plainclothes officers for having attended a brouhaha?

Speaker 1 To put this in context, Axios reported Thursday that the Trump administration is considering banning all foreign students from schools that it has deemed as having too many students who are, in their words, pro-Hamas.

Speaker 1 And official even threatened the possibility of decertifying colleges and universities altogether. And then what happens? Where are all the late bloomers go to lose their virginity?

Speaker 1 Trade schools? Those kids all fucked in high school.

Speaker 1 Speaking of people that did not fuck in high school, Vice President J.D. Vance said to say

Speaker 1 that he will accompany his wife Usha on a visit to Greenland later this week after the announcement of her trip was met with criticism.

Speaker 1 This was supposed to be a girls' trip, screamed Ramona over a Pinot Greggio.

Speaker 1 On Wednesday, the Vance's reportedly changed their travel itinerary, limiting their trip to Greenland's only American military base, U.S. Space Force Outpost, Pitafik.

Speaker 1 Oh, yes, you simply must go to Pitofik in the spring.

Speaker 1 I've heard they have an incredible dominoes pizza.

Speaker 1 Said Danish Foreign Minister Lars Rasmussen, I actually think it's very positive that the Americans are canceling their visit to the Greenlandic community.

Speaker 1 They will instead make a visit to their own base, Pitofik, and we have nothing against that. You can't tell because the Danish people are so polite, but he just told J.D.
Vance to kill himself.

Speaker 1 According to a Danish journalist, American officials knocked on doors in Nook ahead of the Vance's visit to find local families open to welcoming the second lady, but found no takers.

Speaker 1 But of course they don't. They don't have any powers until you invite them in.

Speaker 1 Has no one seen Buck?

Speaker 1 They were all invited. They were seniors.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're talking about the show? I'm only talking about the movie.

Speaker 1 People talking about the show. I'm only talking about the movie.

Speaker 1 The movie's fucking great.

Speaker 1 Here at home, the White House has invited corporations to sponsor its Easter egg roll next month, asking companies to pay between $75,000 and $200,000 for branded snacks, logo placements at the event, and for the biggest spenders, tickets to have brunch with Melania.

Speaker 1 And get this?

Speaker 1 $500,000 gets you dinner with Don Jr. And for a million, you can skip it.

Speaker 1 In the White House's defense

Speaker 1 doing this kind of sponsorship was the only way they could afford to buy that many eggs

Speaker 1 to bow prices

Speaker 1 Pope Francis who is still alive made his first public appearance

Speaker 1 made his first public appearance on Sunday before being discharged from the hospital where he has spent the last five weeks being treated for pneumonia

Speaker 1 He's doing great.

Speaker 1 It's wonderful news for the Pope. Terrible news for my Pope Pool.

Speaker 1 I don't have a Pope pool.

Speaker 1 The head of the Pope's medical team told reporters that the Pope came so close to death at one point that his doctors considered stopping treatment to let him die in peace.

Speaker 1 But in response, Pope Francis said, no!

Speaker 1 No!

Speaker 1 I'm alright here.

Speaker 1 It's not Italian. DoorDash.

Speaker 1 DoorDash announced a new partnership with Klarna, which will allow users to pay for their food in installments over time.

Speaker 1 Using a payment plan to buy a cold cheeseburger delivered by a school teacher trying to make rent, that's the second ingredient on the New York Times cooking app recipe for perfectly audente Luigis.

Speaker 1 From building a recipe over time.

Speaker 1 You have to listen over many episodes to understand.

Speaker 1 The recipe.

Speaker 1 In other financial news about companies taking advantage of of people when they're literally out of cash, the Senate voted to stop the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau from capping overdraft fees to $5.

Speaker 1 The rule could have saved hundreds of dollars for people who overdraw their accounts, but the bank successfully lobbied Republicans to keep their overdraft fees coming, which brought almost $6 billion in revenue in 2023.

Speaker 1 Just want to say, so far, we're getting a lot more national than we're getting socialism, if you ask me. I thought they'd sprinkle in a little more Z in with the NA.
You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 1 It's a lot of Nah. Not enough Z.

Speaker 1 Just the whole promise.

Speaker 1 A little bit of Z.

Speaker 1 Just like, nah, nah, nah.

Speaker 1 Getting hit in the face with all this nah.

Speaker 1 Where's the Z?

Speaker 1 Kermit the Frog.

Speaker 1 You find trying light stories.

Speaker 1 Kermit the Frog will deliver the commencement address at the University of Maryland this spring.

Speaker 1 Kermit was a last-minute replacement after they originally had booked Animal, who had to step down from the gig due to a series of racist and anti-Semitic messages he left in the comment section of nudeafrica.com.

Speaker 1 Strange.

Speaker 1 And finally, the Washington Post wrote an ode to the Centennial Bulb, an incandescent light bulb that has been burning since 1901 and has only been turned off a few times in its 124-year lifespan, each time with the assistance of 32 Polaks.

Speaker 1 It seems like just yesterday I was screwing it in for the first time, reminisced Joe Biden.

Speaker 1 All right, up next, it's Barbie Ferreira.

Speaker 13 Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

Speaker 1 Love It or Leave It is brought to you by Vaya. If you haven't tried Vaya yet, you're seriously missing out.

Speaker 1 Whether you need to unwind, refocus, or just pretend you have your life together, Vaya is here to enhance your every day. And let's be honest, probably your night too.

Speaker 1 Half a million happy customers can't be wrong. Vaya is changing the game.

Speaker 1 in natural wellness combining high quality hemp derived ingredients with powerful cannabinoids to create real effect driven results want better sleep more focus a little boost in the bedroom or maybe you just need to chill out because you're a boost in the bedroom yeah just throw that wow or maybe you just need to chill out because your stress levels are currently at screaming into the void status whatever you need via has a solution solution for you.

Speaker 1 And here's the best part. Vaya lets you customize your experience.
Whether you're looking for daily wellness, laser focus, or deep relaxation, Vaya has it.

Speaker 1 What if you're someone screaming into the void in the bedroom?

Speaker 1 With products ranging from zero to high cannabinoid levels. They've got options for everybody.

Speaker 1 We're talking award-winning effect forward gummies to calming drops, all made with organic lab-tested hemp from trusted, independent American farms.

Speaker 1 And you don't have to jump through hoops or get some weird doctor's note. Via legally ships nationwide discreetly.
No medical medical card required, no sketchy parking lot meetups. Okay.

Speaker 1 Weird. Yeah.
Just straight to your door with a worry-free guarantee. Not sure where to start.
No worries.

Speaker 1 Vaya has a product finder quiz that will hook you up with the perfect match in less than 60 seconds.

Speaker 1 So if you're 21 plus, check out the link to VIA in our description and use the code LoveIt to receive 15% off free shipping on orders over $100.

Speaker 1 And if you're new to VIA, get a free gift of your choice. After your purchase, they ask you where you heard about them.

Speaker 1 Please support our show and tell them we sent you Enhance Your Every Day with VIA.

Speaker 1 The 2026 Chevy Equinox is more than an SUV, it's your Sunday tailgate and your parking lot snack bar. Your lucky jersey, your chairs, and your big cooler fit perfectly in your even bigger cargo space.

Speaker 1 And when it's go time, your 11.3-inch diagonal touchscreen's got the playbook, the playlist, and the tech to stay a step ahead. It's more than an SUV, it's your Equinox.

Speaker 1 Chevrolet, together let's drive,

Speaker 1 And we're back.

Speaker 1 She's got hundreds of outfits, dozens of jobs, and Wikipedia says she was born in 1959. Put your elbowless arms together for the iconic Barbie Ferreira.

Speaker 1 I like that. 1959.
Thank you for being here.

Speaker 14 Thank you for having me.

Speaker 1 So you're in a new dramedy. Yes, I am.

Speaker 1 Which is a drama with jokes.

Speaker 14 Got a couple of jokes. I don't think any of the jokes are on purpose.
Like, you kind of are, they were by accident funny in the whole movie.

Speaker 1 They emerged from character.

Speaker 14 Yes, dunning. Yes, dunning.

Speaker 1 Exactly.

Speaker 1 That's how you know they're good. Yeah.

Speaker 1 It's called Bob Trevino Likes It. Mm-hmm.

Speaker 14 I love that. I like that.

Speaker 1 It's a movie about how Facebook can be good sometimes. Yeah.
Do you agree?

Speaker 14 Do I agree? I mean,

Speaker 14 it's got to be.

Speaker 14 It's inspired by a true story, so I think the director would say yes. I haven't had a Facebook since I was 14, which is like two years ago.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 14 I wouldn't know.

Speaker 1 I got locked out of my Facebook somewhere around 2017.

Speaker 1 Probably for the best. And I can't get back in.

Speaker 14 You can't get back in? No. How do you do marketplace? How do you do Facebook Marketplace?

Speaker 1 I don't. You don't? No, I just drive around with my pickup truck looking for stuff.
You just give it out for free.

Speaker 14 Listen, people do that, okay?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I know, but. Listen, I grew up in New York in the 90s.

Speaker 14 I had bed bugs in Queens, baby. We don't do that anymore.
You had bed bugs?

Speaker 14 It was Queens in the 90s.

Speaker 1 Who who did it yeah everybody had bed bugs there were bed bugs at the at the amc times square i believe i don't want to get sued for death and barcomino is not showing in that theater right now so it was a long time ago okay good good it was a long time ago i think they figured it out i really hope so when i lived in new york i would uh in the middle of the day go to mcdonald's and i'd i'd wear cargo shorts and i'd put a big mac in my left pocket and i'd put the fries in the right pocket and then i'd go to the movies oh that's genius genius genius genius i like bring a whole bag.

Speaker 14 If I'm going alone, I'll bring like a little yogurt. A little bit different than McDonald's, but you know, a little bit classier.

Speaker 1 But we'll see, we'll see.

Speaker 14 But I have like my little snacks in there, and then I'm trying not to be like loud, but I think they catch it on.

Speaker 1 Yogurt at the movies?

Speaker 14 I did. I did.
It was like a bit too much. But I was having great time.
I think it was everything everywhere all at once, and I was crying with a wooden spoon and my glass yogurt.

Speaker 1 Oh, no, plastic. That's good.
No, no, no, I'm great.

Speaker 14 I'm a good person.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You don't do plastic? Do you have a wooden spoon? Was it your wooden spoon or one of those disposable ones?

Speaker 14 Are we using using like a it was a reusable one?

Speaker 1 Like a mixing spoon. Well, I'm picturing a mixing spoon.
I believe it was from

Speaker 14 a farm shop in New Mexico, actually.

Speaker 1 The yogurt?

Speaker 14 No, the spoon.

Speaker 1 But yeah, if you want.

Speaker 1 Have you ever been worried about being catfished?

Speaker 14 Yeah, I'm sure I have been.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I just haven't seen it.
Oh, it's just ongoing. Well, big question.

Speaker 1 It never stops. Well, because I guess if you never find out that you were catfished, were you? That's a really good question.
Well, there's like a philosophical experiment.

Speaker 1 So let's say,

Speaker 1 okay, you were deciding whether or not to take the bus or the train on a trip. Okay.
Okay.

Speaker 1 And unbeknownst to you, the bus had broken down.

Speaker 1 You just never, you didn't know that, but the bus had broken down. If you had decided to take the bus and gone to the bus station, there was no bus.
There was only the train.

Speaker 1 So even if you had chosen the bus, you'd have ended up on the train, but you didn't know that. You picked the train.
Right. Did you?

Speaker 1 Did you pick the train or do you only think you took the train? Bro. Right.
But here's the thing.

Speaker 1 If you said to yourself, I picked the train, you went to the train station, you took the train, you would die never knowing you didn't have a choice.

Speaker 14 That's incredible and beautiful.

Speaker 14 I wasn't expecting all this.

Speaker 1 Neither was it.

Speaker 1 Time from tonight.

Speaker 1 It's a strange show.

Speaker 1 It's great. But what do you think? Do you think you chose the train or do you think that you didn't have a choice?

Speaker 14 I think that my my intuition was so strong that I knew the train was the right bet.

Speaker 1 Oh. Yeah.

Speaker 1 You have a big social media following.

Speaker 14 And it's getting lower every day, baby.

Speaker 1 That's cool.

Speaker 14 And every day it gets worse. So

Speaker 1 do you think we should shut it all down?

Speaker 14 I think about this all the time. I'm like, yeah, but then at the same time, like, where am I going to learn about like Great Lakes and like murders and stuff?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I get a lot of good recipes, recipes from TikTok. Oh, I got great great recipes.
Do you make the viral Turkish pasta? Oh, I haven't, but I've heard. I got it.

Speaker 14 Well, I gotta do it.

Speaker 14 I make a lot of my stuff from TikTok, a lot of my food. But my algorithm on it is pretty good.

Speaker 1 What are you making?

Speaker 14 What did I make? Last night I made a soup.

Speaker 1 A soup? I went to H Mart.

Speaker 14 And then I got a bunch of stuff for a soup, a sundubu soup.

Speaker 1 Sundubu soup. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 H Mart is a Korean grocer. Were you in Korea town? Yes, I was.

Speaker 14 And then so we did a little trip there. I got some

Speaker 14 like water chestnut. chestnut.
This is riveting, I'm sure, for this whole audience.

Speaker 14 Kim Chi, and I just made it into a beautiful little soup.

Speaker 1 It was wonderful. Wow.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 You also made your Broadway debut last year in Cult of Love. I sure did.

Speaker 1 How many nights a week?

Speaker 14 Six days a week. And then we do eight shows.
One time we did nine shows because of the holiday schedule.

Speaker 1 Wow. Wow, they don't tell you that.
Do you think they should just film it? and then show it

Speaker 1 so that you don't have to do it over and over again? It seems crazy.

Speaker 1 Have they thought about that? We've beaten the tech. The technology exists.

Speaker 14 You know what? Some days

Speaker 14 I was like, yeah, they probably should have just recorded it because I wasn't doing it. But you know, that's the beauty of live performance.

Speaker 1 I love it. I love it.

Speaker 14 But wait, why don't we record this without an audience then, huh? A little laugh track?

Speaker 1 Well, here's, I'll tell you something. I'll tell you something.
You're raising an interesting point, which is we take this show on the road, and I love doing it.

Speaker 1 I love getting to go across the country doing this show. But this show, we put out every episode.
So every episode is new. Every single one.

Speaker 1 Every time we do the show, we start from a blank page, a blank canvas that we paint for all of you.

Speaker 1 And then I will be on the road and like a friend of mine who's a comedian will be in that town and they'll be like, oh, what are you doing today? Like, what do you mean what I'm doing today?

Speaker 1 I'm sitting in a hotel room writing this show for the people. But when you do theater, you do the same show every night.

Speaker 14 The same exact thing.

Speaker 1 But you get, so you get all the applause, which feeds us and keeps us alive. Of course, yeah.
But during the day, that's your time.

Speaker 14 And then some days you don't. I'd be like, I literally would, like the Saturday matinees, they weren't into me just letting you know right there it's the saturday evenings oh i killed

Speaker 14 do you think saturday night is the best night when when did you bring your a game i brought my a game every day of course every single show any broadway uh casting directors are listening and um no

Speaker 14 um every single day i i brought it all uh i you know what's funny i think tuesday night was like meh but then like randomly like a wednesday night would just be like i i just feel like a rock star i love it huh yeah do you think that you're that wednesday night is different because you also did a wednesday day show?

Speaker 14 Well, we started off doing Wednesday day shows. Well, we started off doing Saturday and Sunday matinees, which was crazy.
That means five show weekends.

Speaker 14 I know. Oh, poor me.

Speaker 14 Poor actresses.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 14 yeah. And so we, but when we started doing it on Wednesday, it was much better.
But the matinee crowd was funny. A lot of people would just start talking at me on stage.
Yeah. Hecklers?

Speaker 1 On Broadway?

Speaker 14 I would think it's hecklers, but I think they're just confused.

Speaker 1 Well, the matinee crowds are older, right?

Speaker 14 I would say so, yeah.

Speaker 14 Not to generalize. No, no.

Speaker 1 But they were, you know.

Speaker 1 No, I think

Speaker 14 this is to generalize. That we aren't generalized.

Speaker 1 That's general. They were older.
Sure.

Speaker 14 And thus.

Speaker 1 How could you say that?

Speaker 14 How could you possibly say people were older? But then they would wake up, and there's one time I was a very

Speaker 1 cult of love was a great play, okay?

Speaker 14 Yes, people were, some, some people may have slept and woken up and then screamed at me during a very powerful scene with me and Zachary Quinto.

Speaker 1 Because they were scared. Zachary Quinto was on this show.
He sure was. Oh, I remember we talked about Cult cult of love.

Speaker 14 Oh, did you now? What'd you say?

Speaker 1 That he said that their people would scream at him at the matinees.

Speaker 14 Right, every time. Or, like, ringtones are back.
Ringtones are back, baby.

Speaker 1 So, I remember during the post-9/11 years, I remember Dick Cheney would always be like, We have to get it right every time, but the terrorists only need to get it right once.

Speaker 1 We got to stop every single time they try to get us. And the terrorists, they only have to get through once.
We have to always succeed. They can fail a million times.

Speaker 1 If they succeed once, they've done it. That's what it is with the phones.

Speaker 1 Because you can look at a theater of 2,000 fucking people. If one person can't think to turn off their goddamn ringer, you're all exposed.
You're all excused. You know what's crazy?

Speaker 1 Our phones have do not disturb mode.

Speaker 14 They do, and I love that mode.

Speaker 1 But that just means their normal mode is disturb mode.

Speaker 14 Yeah.

Speaker 14 You know what my favorite is when people will send anyways? Those people are monsters. Because you have the option of, if you have do not disturb, you will send it anyways.
Monsters.

Speaker 14 Do you have that out of your life?

Speaker 1 Do you have your chatting pals where it's like you're driving, you have 15 minutes, they're just the, you have your list of three to five people that you just go through your phone and call?

Speaker 1 Very popular, so yes. And do you have friends where they'll call twice?

Speaker 1 They'll just ring you twice, just for no, like, I'm just trying again.

Speaker 14 I will immediately think it's an emergency.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so you answer. That's the idea.

Speaker 14 And it works every time.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Spencer and I double ring each other.
Because it's like, get the fucking phone. I'm calling.
This is a good time for me. Yeah.

Speaker 1 This is a good time for me.

Speaker 14 I totally agree with you.

Speaker 14 But it's also just like you're, the do not disturb of it all and the double, the double calling, it comes with an intimacy of friendship that I think some people just don't have the

Speaker 14 social, they just don't understand. I'm like, why are you calling me in the middle of the night?

Speaker 1 Well, you know, we're of different generations. And so I think we have a different, are you a calling person? I love to call.
See, I love to call too.

Speaker 14 I like to text too.

Speaker 1 I'm not into texting. I think it was a mistake.

Speaker 14 I agree. I retext wrong all the time.
I think like people are mad at me. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 And then, but they're not.

Speaker 14 Or I seem like I'm at them, but it's actually great.

Speaker 1 Well, it's that there's no correct way to end the conversation. And it's like, and I know there's nothing wrong with it.

Speaker 1 And it's like not a judgment of me personally, but if you're in the middle of a conversation, going back and going five, it's slowing down a little bit. And then you reply one last time.

Speaker 1 And then you get the thumbs up. Like the

Speaker 1 emoji to end the conversation. I don't even know what those are.
They're not emojis. They're reactions.
The reactions.

Speaker 1 The reaction to end the conversation. It's like, oh, sorry.

Speaker 14 Oh, sorry. I didn't mean to like offend you.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I go over a dog. I guess we're done.

Speaker 14 Texts are scary, and there's like different languages for everyone. I mean, if you're talking to someone with different age brackets, like they, it's just completely different.

Speaker 14 You never know what the vibes are.

Speaker 1 Who's the oldest person you text?

Speaker 14 50s.

Speaker 1 Yeah. Should get older.
Should go older. Older? Let's find some older people.

Speaker 14 I would love to have older friends.

Speaker 1 Great.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 1 I want to hear a little bit about your dog and its diet situation.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, my dog, cowboy. Yeah, what's happening? Do you just give people a little bit of a...

Speaker 14 Guys, this is a crazy story, so please buckle up.

Speaker 14 So I was on Broadway. And so I brought my dog to New York.

Speaker 14 And my mom decided.

Speaker 1 Oh, you asked about my dog. I was on Broadway.
I was on Broadway.

Speaker 14 Yeah, I was on Broadway.

Speaker 1 Critically claimed to.

Speaker 14 New York Times Critics Choice.

Speaker 1 Critics fucking choice. Critics or whatever.

Speaker 14 Anywho, so my mom decided to kidnap my dog and she's a private chef.

Speaker 14 And so she spent all day just cooking for him like these beautiful like anchovies and like liver with like every single day a different menu. And so now I have to cook for my dog every day.

Speaker 14 I meal prep for him. Like I'll get like some bagged like like frozen veggies.
And then I'll like, I made him like an ancestral bison the other day. And I was like angrily making it too.

Speaker 14 I was like, do you even know? He's also like a muh. Like he like literally like lived on the street for a year, but he deserves it.

Speaker 1 He's sweet. What's

Speaker 1 ancestral about it?

Speaker 1 It's ancient meat streets. I think they just joked us to like ancestral bison.

Speaker 14 Ancestral bison.

Speaker 1 I don't know that it's

Speaker 1 $15. Doesn't all bison presumably have ancestors.

Speaker 14 I assume so.

Speaker 1 It'd be more interesting if it was a bison without ancestors. The GMO bisons, baby.

Speaker 14 You don't get traffic.

Speaker 1 I see.

Speaker 1 These are like, yeah, like how people get mind open to that. Like heritage bison, like heritage turkeys.

Speaker 1 people get those fancier turkeys not the butterball ones that have been uh in defiance of god's will made enormous

Speaker 1 just waddling around too big too big too big they're like i'm not supposed to be

Speaker 14 this bison was just right and now my little mutt cowboy can eat and you know but your dog got real fat right he did

Speaker 14 and my mom kept going because he's three years old and she kept going like oh you need a new collar soon he's outgrowing it i'm like mom he is not growing like he is getting bigger and she's like oh, and like, I had to, you know, and it also does like a 15-pound weight limit thing when you like travel with them.

Speaker 14 I was a little bit scared about bringing him back to LA.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 14 We're good now. We're good.

Speaker 1 Yeah. You'd have to put him in, you have to like kind of squeeze him into one of those.

Speaker 14 I just literally just, I just hoped for the best. And they usually don't, if he's so small, and when you look at him, I mean, obviously he's very chunky and dense now, but yeah, I know he's dead.

Speaker 1 But yeah, they don't care about density. They don't check for density.

Speaker 1 There's no density limit. The dog could be a, it could be a black hole, really.
It could be a dwarf, it could be a dwarf star. It just has to fit in that fucking container.

Speaker 14 I love it. And that's cowboy.

Speaker 1 And that's cowboy.

Speaker 1 And that's cowboy. I used to travel back and forth with my dog, and that was back when you could get your friend to say that you had emotional needs.
Oh, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

Speaker 1 But the government cracked down on that.

Speaker 14 They did. You can't get away with that no more.

Speaker 1 Nope. They stopped it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, probably for the best, I guess.

Speaker 14 Just the LA people who bought their emotional support certificate can't go to the front of the line with their own?

Speaker 1 I just think emotional support dogs, real or fake, make the whole world a better place, and we should have them on the planes. And I don't really have a problem with that.
I do think so.

Speaker 1 I just think, I think it got out of hand because people were like, oh, this is my emotional support donkey. And it's like, well, we can't deal with that now.

Speaker 14 Well, then you were hearing stories about hamsters and guinea pigs and oh my, just all sorts of things.

Speaker 1 My view is, let it be a menagerie. There's nothing.

Speaker 14 Is that falcon from Dubai?

Speaker 1 Sure. A falcon from Dubai.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 Maybe that's just internet lore that doesn't exist, but I bought it.

Speaker 14 My media literacy, you know, low.

Speaker 1 Bob Trevino likes it. He's in theaters.
It sure is.

Speaker 1 But we come back.

Speaker 14 And not at the AMC bed bug one.

Speaker 1 No, that was many years ago. And again, I can't verify that.
And you have to verify it for yourself. Just something I remember from my time living in the Big Apple.

Speaker 1 When we come back, Jared Goldstein's going to join.

Speaker 13 Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

Speaker 1 Love It or Leave It, brought to you by Quince. If you're planning to go on vacation soon, you should treat yourself to a first-class quality suitcase at an economy price tag from Quince.

Speaker 1 John, just went on a trip. Yes, I did.
And I needed some warm clothing because

Speaker 1 I saw snow for the first time in a year. Wow.
Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I had a nice sweater from Quince. Nice.
Mongolian cashmere. Vacation season is nearly upon us.

Speaker 1 This year, I'm treating myself to the Lux upgrades I deserve with Quince's high-quality travel essentials at fair prices, like lightweight shirts and shorts from $30, pants for any occasion, and comfortable lounge sets with premium luggage options and durable duffel bags to carry it all.

Speaker 1 The best part, all Quince items are 50% to 80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts down on the cost of the middleman and passes the savings on to us.

Speaker 1 And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices in premium fabrics and finanges. We love that.
We love Quince. It's a great place.

Speaker 1 You can go check it for everyday essentials that are incredibly reasonably priced and really well made. Some great sheets from Quince.
And

Speaker 1 when I was shopping, I went to to Quince and then I went to a bunch of higher-end brands and side by side, it was like a no-brainer. So everybody, go to Quince for your next trip.

Speaker 1 Treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from Quince. Go to quince.com slash love it for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order.

Speaker 1 That's q-u-i-n-ce-e dot com slash love it to get free shipping and 365 day returns quince.com slash love it.

Speaker 11 At 1-800flowers.com, we know that connections are at the heart of being human. Whether celebrating life's joys or comforting during tough times, 1-800 Flowers helps you express what words can't.

Speaker 11 For nearly 50 years, millions have trusted 1-800 Flowers to deliver thoughtful gifts that help create lasting bonds. Because it's more than just a gift, it's your way of showing you care.

Speaker 11 Visit 1-800-Flowers.com/slash SXM and connect today. That's 1-800-Flowers.com/slash SXM.

Speaker 1 And we're back!

Speaker 1 Joining us now is the Ken to our Barbie minus the smooth plastic genitals. Oh!

Speaker 1 It's Jared Goldstein. Woo!

Speaker 1 I have very hairy, rough genitals.

Speaker 1 I believe you.

Speaker 1 What's up? Hi.

Speaker 1 What's up? We're fake.

Speaker 14 We hugged back there.

Speaker 1 We did. It's okay.
I'm drunk, but that's okay, right? What? I'm drunk, but that's okay. For sure.
You had one can of wine. I know.
I haven't been drinking, and it hit hard. You had a can of wine?

Speaker 1 I had a can. LA baby.

Speaker 1 Hey, can I just say, yes. Barbie Ferreira is the coolest name a person can have.
Thank you.

Speaker 14 Well, my real name is Barbara.

Speaker 1 Boo. Hey, that's still cool.
It's still very cool. And I love seeing that on the flyer next to the second coolest name a person can have, Jared Goldstein.

Speaker 1 Baby.

Speaker 14 Jared. Jared, Barbie.

Speaker 1 It's like God's going through the thing. It's like, wait, I have one extra Jared Goldstein who's a comedian.
I'm missing an orthodontist.

Speaker 1 thank you for being here jared thanks for having me uh now you're both in the public eye

Speaker 1 to the same extent

Speaker 1 what i want to talk about today because because you're both uh because uh

Speaker 1 what are you

Speaker 1 both in the public eye and i'm both public eye uh you've been a model i sure have and you could be you could be i have and you have i have been a model you have what'd you model

Speaker 1 It was in a newspaper.

Speaker 1 So you know it's good.

Speaker 1 And it was toys for Christmas, honey. What kind of toys? Yeah.
What kind of toys? It was like a lot of toys. I don't know.
It was like, it was like...

Speaker 14 Wooden, plastic.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it was like we were on a couch, and there was like a lot of us, and like, you know.

Speaker 1 But I was in it, and it was a photo, and they printed it. I believe him.
I was a model.

Speaker 1 So I want you guys to both watch my gate and see why it's so weird. Okay.

Speaker 1 Spoiler alert, it's. Because he's gay.
No,

Speaker 1 no, it's not. Because

Speaker 1 I've gone to the parades. It's not that.

Speaker 1 Okay. I'm going to just walk normally.
I'm going to try to get out of my head about it because it's going to be so good. You literally get out of your head.

Speaker 14 You can't walk like normally when you're thinking about it.

Speaker 1 I know why. Your shoulders are too tight.

Speaker 1 Your shoulders are too tight.

Speaker 1 Your shoulders are dropping your shoulders.

Speaker 14 No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Baby, no.

Speaker 1 Yeah, do it again. Okay.

Speaker 14 But I want to take a deep breath. Close your eyes.
No one's here. It's just you.

Speaker 1 No, I know. I know.
No, I know.

Speaker 1 All right, here we go.

Speaker 1 See, it's weird. Wait, but can I commit? I think it's the shoulders.
Can I commend myself?

Speaker 14 You can work with this.

Speaker 1 Can I commend you for that is actually how you walk, and you actually did walk the way you actually walk. Right.
And that's huge. Give him a round of applause.
That was very vulnerable.

Speaker 1 There's something strange about the gait.

Speaker 1 I think it's the population. I'm seeing the letter R.

Speaker 1 Oh. Yeah.
Which direction?

Speaker 1 Where is my head?

Speaker 1 At the top.

Speaker 1 Like, I'm seeing a lowercase R. Oh, lowercase.
Oh, no. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 I want you to, I want your shoulders down and back, chin in. And also just take a, like, like you were saying, relax.

Speaker 1 Relax, babe. Relax.
Hey, have you seen this video that went viral this week

Speaker 1 from influencer Ashton Hall cataloging his step morning routine. All right, let's go.
Let's say let's see a clip.

Speaker 1 Awesome.

Speaker 14 The Saratoga, baby.

Speaker 9 Oh, where is it?

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 It's awesome. I love the journaling.
The purple light.

Speaker 1 Little detox with internet with the phone. It's ice water with Saratoga.
Dip. Got to get a dip in there.
905, another bucket of water.

Speaker 1 We got to go ahead and get in at least 10,000. We got to get a 10,000.
We got to get at least 10,000. 10,000.

Speaker 1 Lighting can be anything. Do you know what I mean?

Speaker 1 First of all, I love this video. So just so people understand, his routine started at 3:45 a.m.
No, it didn't. He's a liar.
But whatever he claims, he says it starts at 3:45 a.m.

Speaker 1 and he sits down to work at 9.15 a.m., which is five and a half hours of morning routine.

Speaker 1 He brushed his teeth for five hours. His gums are gone.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 He jumps in the pool and he kills like 10 minutes in just the dive.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he dives. There's a sign behind him that says no diving.
He does anyway. That's

Speaker 1 what he's influencing.

Speaker 1 It's amazing. And then you're like, well, what does he do? And I guess this is what he does, which is he's some sort of life coach.

Speaker 1 And people see the morning routine and think, I want to be like him, but how does, and have his life? What is his life? It's telling people to do the morning routine. He just filmed.
He actually is.

Speaker 14 And there's a beautiful woman. I don't know if she's actually beautiful, but she has great nails.
And I love a good nail. And she's always making him food or like strapping on his weighted vest.

Speaker 1 Yes. There is a nameless, faceless woman who is providing services

Speaker 1 throughout.

Speaker 1 For sure. For sure.

Speaker 1 Free her.

Speaker 1 Who is she? We don't know. Is she getting paid?

Speaker 1 It's so unclear. It's so strange.
There's also something so the ideal morning routine is a routine that has these steps that can only exist if you're responsible to no one. To no one.

Speaker 1 That you, that you, that there's no child that's interrupting your, there's no spouse who needs you to do them something.

Speaker 1 That, like, you are an isolated being who's responsible only to yourself, and that kind of perfecting your day requires complete isolation, complete isolation, five hours of morning isolation.

Speaker 1 I mean, we're only up for 16.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 he's in a lot, he's in a lot of pain, that man. He's in a lot of pain.

Speaker 14 He's in a lot of pain.

Speaker 1 He's in a lot of pain. Also, he eats a banana and rubs it on his face.
He does. Okay, film Matt.
I think we have it. Hello? There you go.
Bitch.

Speaker 1 What's that? What's in the banana?

Speaker 14 Well, as the expert,

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 14 I actually, I did hear that it does nothing.

Speaker 1 Yeah. So that's what I

Speaker 14 read it in

Speaker 14 a very factual tweet.

Speaker 1 I'm going to start doing the ice thing, though. That looked good.
Yeah. I want to start doing two ice plunges in the morning or just one just to start.
He's handsome. I mean,

Speaker 14 it's like something's working.

Speaker 1 There's so much going right in his life that you like,

Speaker 1 it's like this half, like, I admire him so much, but then i'm so repulsed by everything that's happening that it's just like oh you really feel for these people well this is the start of the pyramid scheme and everyone's always selling packages of like how to get rich right that's the internet thing so this is the start which is a perfect

Speaker 1 segue into our into

Speaker 1 and you know what that sound means

Speaker 1 It's time for a segment we're calling the shame game.

Speaker 1 As you mentioned, all of these things are in some way leading to a business, to a product.

Speaker 1 All right, social media taketh, but it also giveth a million new problems to hyperscrutinize our bodies for and ultimately get us to buy things or do things.

Speaker 1 Jared and Barbie, I'm going to give you a new micro-insecurity courtesy of TikTok.

Speaker 1 And you will rank them on a scale from one to five.

Speaker 1 With one being, I would never be insecure about this, and five being I have to leave the stage immediately and squat naked over a full-length mirror to make sure I don't have this.

Speaker 14 This is like my everyday life. Let's do it.

Speaker 1 Okay, the actual skip. So the scale is going to go: if it's a one, it's a nice try, TikTok.
If it's two, it's wait, that's what my head looks like from behind.

Speaker 1 Three is shirt, but there's a cream for that. Four is panic ordering dozens of turtlenecks on Amazon at three in the morning.
And five is booking the flight to Turkey.

Speaker 14 Got to go to Turkey. And a smile, the hair, get it all.

Speaker 1 And then get on in there.

Speaker 1 Get on there. It seems fun.
It seems fun. I'm going to go to Beverly Hills.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, I see why. I see.
I know Turkey's there. I want to be in a place where if something goes wrong, I can sue.
No, totally. I like it.

Speaker 14 I like that.

Speaker 1 Got to be able to sue.

Speaker 1 It's the only way to level the playing field. The doctor is always so powerful, but not when they know

Speaker 1 you can sue.

Speaker 1 First up,

Speaker 1 a few years ago, hip dips

Speaker 1 or the naturally occurring indictation between the hip sock and upper thigh that some people have became something to destroy, to embrace, or potentially both.

Speaker 1 Jared and Barbie, they say hips don't lie, but do they have you obsessively staring in the mirror every morning in your new leggings?

Speaker 1 Where do you rank this potential insecurity on a scale of one to five?

Speaker 14 I've always had hip tips, and

Speaker 1 woo!

Speaker 14 That's right. Anatomy, baby.

Speaker 14 I would say one. I'm like, hip tips? I mean, come on.
Everyone about it.

Speaker 1 Absolutely.

Speaker 14 What are your thoughts on that?

Speaker 1 I think it's a one for sure because

Speaker 1 I didn't even know based on this picture if this was something to get or something to stop.

Speaker 1 like I really just obviously disgusting. I didn't know.

Speaker 1 I was like, is this the ideal we're all striving for, but is it impossible? Or is this something everyone has and must get rid of?

Speaker 14 The line gets blurred every day. Right?

Speaker 1 Speaking of a blurry line, I'll say this is the last part of a woman's body I was ever attracted to.

Speaker 1 And for that reason, I'm supportive of it. Okay.
For the first time, the first was her mind.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And I'm still attracted to that part. Okay, cool.
Yeah. Are you?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Free her. Free her.

Speaker 1 Free her.

Speaker 1 Free her. Let's find out her name and free her.

Speaker 1 All right. That's a one.
Next up, we have somebody called Irish Hair.

Speaker 1 According to TikTok, Irish hair or Irish curls describes an inconsistent curl pattern with a person's hair is

Speaker 1 at the top and curlier underneath. That's right, sure, Jewish hair.
Yeah. Jared and Barbie, does Irish hair have your eyes smiling, or are you ready to Aaron Go bra out of the bathroom?

Speaker 1 Bro, who the fuck cares? I'm like you, I'm going to Beverly Hills, not to Turkey, because I have a guy who helps me with it.

Speaker 14 Oh, did you get yellow keratin?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah. I do it in the very front and in the very back.

Speaker 14 Wow. Believe him.
You have different.

Speaker 1 Not right now. Right now, I'm like, I'm just being natural right now, but I'm done.
I'm sick of it.

Speaker 14 You're sick of it, you.

Speaker 1 Time to go back. So I'm a five.
You know, I really.

Speaker 1 He's a five.

Speaker 1 it. He's a five.
He's a five. I'm a one.
I know. I think it's fine.
I think it's fine. I think it's fine.
Literally,

Speaker 14 yes, get a Dyson Air wrap if it bothers you that much.

Speaker 1 I think, like, look, as somebody who has struggled

Speaker 1 to use his money to buy hairlines via Beverly Hills Doctors

Speaker 1 and then successfully done that several times.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're in. Nope, absolutely.

Speaker 1 I find that like, basically, as someone who has like been obsessed with their own hairline and just basically observe hairlines like very closely, I find that people with amazing hair, present company included,

Speaker 1 they talk about hair with the kind of like

Speaker 1 they're like upper deck Titanic passengers

Speaker 1 talking about the accommodations. You know, they're like, I don't like the view from my room.
And meanwhile, like I'm down here with the fucking rats.

Speaker 1 And they're like, oh, I go for a keratin treatment because it's a little curly in front, but a little curly in the back. It's like, fuck you.

Speaker 1 We're just trying to, we just want down here with Jack and Rose, we just want coverage.

Speaker 1 We just want coverage.

Speaker 1 You're so right. I hear about hairline all day, by the way.
I have to check my privilege so much in that way. One time I told this woman, she was like, What's the secret?

Speaker 1 What are you doing with your hair? Please tell me what to do with my hair. And I was like, Here's what it is:

Speaker 1 nothing.

Speaker 1 And she looked so mad. Yeah, for sure.
She looked so mad. For sure.

Speaker 1 Like, what I'm saying is,

Speaker 1 like, is the health of your hair is the value. So don't burn your hair.
Do nothing essentially. But then, you know, yeah, whatever.

Speaker 14 Male pattern baldness will come for you no matter what.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. That's something I hear.
Yeah. I hear all day.

Speaker 14 I hear all day about it. It's like truly the talk of town all day.
Hairline, hairline, hairline. I kind of am like, you know, if guys have one thing to worry about, it's hairline.
I'm like, all right.

Speaker 1 It's fine. It's fine.
Jason Statham? Like, gee, it's fine. You got to have such a specific head to pull that off.
You do. Everybody's like, oh, Bruce Wills, Jason Statham.
End of fucking list.

Speaker 1 This doesn't work.

Speaker 1 This doesn't work. This doesn't work for me like that.
I don't have the confidence. I respect the men who do.
I don't have it.

Speaker 1 Next up. That's great.

Speaker 1 I never would have even known that you had any sort of

Speaker 1 story behind it. Absolutely.
Absolutely. That's that's yeah, that's right.

Speaker 14 That's artlessly cool.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's right.

Speaker 1 And that's right.

Speaker 1 Next up,

Speaker 1 cortisol face. This is a TikTok favorite.
Cortisol face. Yeah.
Cortisol face.

Speaker 1 Last year, thousands of videos flooded the app to tell me specifically that my face might be extra round due to too much of the stress hormone cortisol,

Speaker 1 the kind of repetitive TikTok that might stress you out a little bit.

Speaker 1 According to the Cleveland Clinic, cortisol face, or moon face, can occur as a result of certain syndromes or as a side effect of medication like steroids, but they reassure patients that it is in itself dangerous.

Speaker 1 But we don't don't care if it's dangerous, Cleveland Clinic. We just want to be hot.

Speaker 1 Jared and Barbie, do I have cortisol face?

Speaker 1 You don't. I'm sorry.
I mean, where do you rank cortisol face on scale of micro insecurities?

Speaker 14 To be fair, I like don't know if I buy it.

Speaker 14 I think if you're on a medication, like I've been on prednisone for, you know, like losing my voice or something, and then I feel like I'm angry and big and like red, but I don't know if like you being stressed is going to make that big of a difference on your face.

Speaker 14 But you know what? Maybe. Maybe.

Speaker 1 Do they have Broadway doctors that inject steroids the way like football doctors inject steroids in the knees to get people back out there? Like horses. Absolutely.

Speaker 14 Absolutely. So I actually heard that people don't like doing that because the girlies who sing, they like try to keep their vocal health good.

Speaker 14 And like if you do too much of that, you like strain it even more. I don't have that problem.

Speaker 14 And also, I was like smoking packs of cigarettes before I had to stop for Broadway because I was like, I'm going to lose my voice. But they do shoot you up.
Yeah.

Speaker 14 B12 in a pretnisone happens all the time.

Speaker 1 Cool.

Speaker 14 i should do that before this show you would be hyped and angry i get angry next up

Speaker 1 bad facial harmony it's another syndrome that only exists in the mind of the mad bad facial harmony refers to the concept that one can have good individual facial features but bad overall facial harmony you could also have the inverse which i guess is being overall gorgeous but with dog ass individual features

Speaker 14 I mean, here's a prime example of a horribly ugly woman.

Speaker 1 Yeah, hideous.

Speaker 14 With terrible symmetry.

Speaker 1 Is Bella, is she the idea of like bad facial harmony? No. Or she's good facial harmony.
I think this must be good facial harmony.

Speaker 14 It's another classic case of, do we want this or not? I think we do.

Speaker 1 I think we do. I'm not worried about facial harmony.

Speaker 1 I think it's like a three. I think I get talked into it.

Speaker 14 Maybe a two. I'd say a two.
If someone was like, because I do, like one of my eyeballs is like a little lower than the other one.

Speaker 1 Hate. Do you have this thing where when I look at my face in a FaceTime, it looks like my eyes are all black?

Speaker 14 Are you having that? They have like sneaky filters on FaceTime

Speaker 14 that you can like turn off.

Speaker 1 You mean like the whites are gone and the whole thing is

Speaker 1 demonic possession on FaceTime?

Speaker 1 Sorry, are you seeing something different? Like it looks like I don't have like my eyes are brown and it looks like my eyes are black. Does anyone have that?

Speaker 1 Maybe. We'd get that checked out.
I don't have that either. I don't have that.
I don't have that.

Speaker 14 Finally, this is... Demonic possession.
Yeah, I have that.

Speaker 1 This is something called Septemarms.

Speaker 1 I don't know what it's, it's, oh, because this is why it's called that.

Speaker 1 He or she would be hot, septem arms.

Speaker 14 Oh my goodness gracious.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What if I was like, yes, yes, yes, exactly.
People are ugly in their arms.

Speaker 14 I was gonna smash, but your disgusting biceps were, I mean, I guess

Speaker 1 maybe.

Speaker 1 Maybe.

Speaker 1 I'm an angel.

Speaker 1 This seems like it's like the millennial equivalent of

Speaker 1 a butter body.

Speaker 1 Butter body. oh you know butterface butterface butterface butter body that was something yeah yeah yeah i was once called a butterface once to my face

Speaker 1 i was so complimented i was like i have been working out

Speaker 1 i would die if someone said you're a butterface to me i would be so gassed like i literally be like that's why the body's hot body tea bitch you know what this is actually funny i've never actually even chalked about it before but it was a very drunk person at a bar gay bar in dc called halo uh that was on on at 17th and r and if you you were the person that very drunkenly came up to me and said, oh, you're very hot, butterface, and then left,

Speaker 1 if you remember that, I remember it.

Speaker 1 So you're right to feel bad. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You're probably around my age, and you did it.

Speaker 1 And I remember it.

Speaker 1 When I first started doing stand-up and Roast Battle was really popular, I wrote a joke for someone else that was like, she's a butterface, meaning that she'll let you put it in her butterface.

Speaker 1 Yay!

Speaker 1 I was proud of that. That's a great joke.

Speaker 1 That's a really good joke. Thank you.
I like that. That's a really good joke.
Just fine. But I was like, I really was, I wanted an Emmy.

Speaker 1 I was like, I feel like that should get me some kind of golden statue. I agree.
Butterface?

Speaker 1 It was really good. I think you got to put a little more spin on the second time we say butter.
Yeah. You know? And that's where we're feeling the wine that I had backstage.
Yeah.

Speaker 1 but I think it's a great joke, it's a beautiful, simple joke.

Speaker 1 Beautiful, beautiful, very well-written joke, very well-written joke.

Speaker 1 All right, thank you. Good one, uh, Jared.
In your podcast, Sorry, what?

Speaker 1 You can get that wherever you get podcasts. You can.
It's an advice podcast. It's an advice podcast from a bad listener.

Speaker 1 I'm doling it. No one's wanting it, but I'm telling you how to live your life.
Hence the name, sorry, what? Yeah, exactly. Do you think it's sorry what?

Speaker 1 I would go, sorry, what?

Speaker 1 All right, next up, the text is coming from inside the house.

Speaker 1 Woo!

Speaker 13 Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

Speaker 1 Love It or Leave It brought to you by Prolon. Changing up your health routine can be challenging.
If you don't have a plan, it can be even more difficult to stick to a routine.

Speaker 1 That is what makes Prolon's five-day program a total game changer. Prolon provides a clear plan with specific daily meals, making it easy to stay focused and achieve real results.

Speaker 1 Prolon's fasting-mimicking diet is a revolutionary plant-based nutrition program that nourishes the body while making cells believe they're fasting. They're confused.

Speaker 1 Researched and developed for decades at USC's Longevity Institute and backed by leading U.S.

Speaker 1 medical centers, Prolon helps support healthy blood sugar, enhanced skin appearance, fat loss, and improved energy and focus post-fast.

Speaker 1 It all starts with their five-day program, snacks, soups, and beverages designed to keep your body in a fasting state. No guest work or planning required.
With Prolon, you get everything you need.

Speaker 1 prepackaged and ready to go. Each of Prolon's five-day programs come with five boxes labeled so you know what to eat each day.

Speaker 1 Three consecutive cycles of Prolon have been shown to reduce your biological age score by an average of 2.5 years and your waist circumference by 1.5 inches.

Speaker 1 Tell Kickstarter a health plan that truly works. Prolon is offering Love to Relieve listeners 15% off-site-wide, plus a $40 bonus gift when you subscribe to their five-day nutrition program.

Speaker 1 Just visit prolonlife.com/slash love it. That's P-R-O-L-O-N-L-I-F-E dot com slash love it to claim your 15% discount and your bonus gift, ProlonLife.com/slash love it.

Speaker 11 At 1-800Flowers.com, we know that connections are at the heart of being human. Whether celebrating life's joys or comforting during tough times, 1-800 Flowers helps you express what words can't.

Speaker 11 For nearly 50 years, millions have trusted 1-800 Flowers to deliver thoughtful gifts that help create lasting bonds. Because it's more than just a gift, it's your way of showing you care.

Speaker 11 Visit 1-800flowers.com/slash SXM and connect today. That's 1-800Flowers.com/slash SXM.

Speaker 1 And we're back.

Speaker 1 Monday is Trans Day of Visibility.

Speaker 1 So keep your heads on a swivel.

Speaker 1 Turn the house lights up.

Speaker 1 Just want to remind everybody that from Crooked Media Reads, we have Woodworking. It's the debut novel from Yellow Jackets writer and culture critic Emily St.
James.

Speaker 1 I truly love woodworking.

Speaker 1 If you haven't read it yet, pick it up. Support Emily, support Crooked Media, support this book.
It is a trend story, and it's just an amazing story. It's an incredibly entertaining, engrossing read.

Speaker 1 Highly recommend the audiobook. Emily was on Love It or Leave It a few weeks ago.
And if you didn't grab a copy, then now's your chance.

Speaker 1 It's fun, it's moving, and everybody should grab their copy at crooked.com/slash books or anywhere you like to get books. It's a great queer story for people that are,

Speaker 1 you know, anywhere on the flag.

Speaker 1 But if you're somebody that wants to be supportive and wants to understand the trans perspective, there's a lot of coverage of the politics, but not really enough conversation about just the experience and a lot of coverage of trans people that is about trans people as objects as opposed to being subjects.

Speaker 1 And so everybody should go to crooked.com slash books and pick up a copy.

Speaker 1 Also, as I mentioned in the monologue, in Wisconsin, we got to do everything we can to elect Susan Crawford, who is a qualified judge to stop Elon Musk's backed MAGA guy, the right-wing attorney general.

Speaker 1 It's the first major race since Trump won in November. It will determine the majority on the Wisconsin Serbs court.

Speaker 1 Get everything you need to vote or volunteer before next Tuesday, April 1st, at votesaveamerica.com, paid for by Votesave America. You can learn more at votesaveameric.com.

Speaker 1 This ad has not been authorized by any candidate or candidates committee. Also, we're off next week, but we'll be back at the Allegiant Theater on April 10th with Robbie Hoffman and more great guests.

Speaker 1 So if you're in LA, grab tickets for Love It or Leave It live at crooked.com/slash slash events. All right.
Now for a segment, we're calling Houthi Among Us.

Speaker 1 Hey, look at us. Oh, my God.
There we are.

Speaker 1 Do you see what I mean by the black eyes? They're beautiful. They're good.
They're deep. They're deep.
They're deep eyes. Okay, okay.

Speaker 1 Stop trying to find stuff to complain about. Okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 Look, Michael Waltz, the national security advisor, has obviously screwed the pooch, but haven't we all sent a straight text or two?

Speaker 1 To show some empathy and more importantly, embarrass our guests, we're each going to share something we've done in text that we regret in a segment

Speaker 1 I've already named.

Speaker 1 Barbie, kick us off. When is the time you sent an errand text, included the wrong person, made a mistake?

Speaker 14 Okay, so this is quite a while ago, maybe like 10 years ago.

Speaker 14 I remembered this today, and I was immediately stricken with embarrassment again.

Speaker 14 I was texting someone, like a friend of mine, and I was like, oh, let's meet meet here. I was in New York at the time.
And so I show up and I see someone else that I know. I'm like, hey, what's up?

Speaker 14 And they're like, oh, like, are you coming with us? I'm like, what are you talking about? Like, I'm waiting for my friend. And I'm like, okay, weirdo.
He walks away.

Speaker 14 And then I realized I was texting that person the whole time. And he thought I was like, I was just like lost my mind.
And like, we were supposed to meet at this exact place.

Speaker 14 I was like, that's so random that you also happen to be at this exact place right now.

Speaker 14 And so, yeah, that was embarrassing.

Speaker 1 Did he think it was a date?

Speaker 14 No, it wasn't a date. He had friends with with him.
Oh. But that was, it was riveting.
I know that story is crazy. No, but the.

Speaker 1 But he came.

Speaker 14 He did. And then I was like, oh, like, I'm just meeting someone here.
Like, it just did not click with me.

Speaker 1 But what happened when he figured it out? I mean, it must have been embarrassing.

Speaker 14 He was like, he wasn't straight and just like walked away with his friend. It was just like, okay, fucking weirdo.
And then,

Speaker 1 but he clearly wanted to see you. This is what I'm trying to understand because he got a whole group of friends to say, no, no, we got to go meet Barbie.
She's inexplicably texting me.

Speaker 1 But it's important that I see her for some reason. So did you break his heart? I just, this is, are you sure? You're sure this person didn't want to date? Maybe.

Speaker 14 I mean, I never know. So, who's, I mean, maybe, but no, I think the person I was trying to meet was someone I was trying to date.

Speaker 1 And what happened there?

Speaker 14 Well, then I just like, I blew it.

Speaker 1 I was like, the whole time I thought it was someone else I was texting.

Speaker 14 It was like days and days of conversations.

Speaker 1 But did you go ever go back to the person who was supposed to be? Whatever they were.

Speaker 14 I was too mortified to never talk to either of them again. But that one guy.

Speaker 14 That one guy was like a mutual friend of a bunch of people. And I had just been like flirting with him.
And I had no intention. And I, so I guess, yes, he was trying to date me.

Speaker 1 And yeah, I did break his heart. But it's okay.

Speaker 14 It was an accident. I still think about how awful that was.
And also the worst part is this is all in Grand Central Station.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Were you going for oysters? What's going on?

Speaker 14 No, but I was, at the time, I lived in like Mount Vernon. And so I, God, this is, this is just story just gets juicier and juicier, doesn't it?

Speaker 14 So I, it was like, I was like in midtown. I was like, what am I doing here? And I just like look like an idiot and had to go home.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry that happened. It's okay.

Speaker 14 I think I'm okay.

Speaker 1 You're okay. I think I'm okay.
What if that other person you meant to be texting is the love of your life?

Speaker 14 God, I don't even remember who it was. What if that was? No, I never saved anyone's name under

Speaker 14 my phone. And now I do.

Speaker 1 That's chaos.

Speaker 1 Chaos.

Speaker 14 That's crazy. I know.
I have like 900 unread messages. I need to stop.

Speaker 1 No, no, no. I really understand and respect that.
I get it. I get it.

Speaker 14 I thrive in chaos.

Speaker 1 But what do you think it is about us that

Speaker 1 there's something about our relationship with time because it's as if there's no future. As if like, yes, we know who this is right now and that's all that matters.
As if

Speaker 1 we can't imagine a future where they will be in our life for an extended period of time so that it's obviously right now worth saving the number. Why shouldn't we save the number right now?

Speaker 1 Well, because we're not going to know this person, we're not going to see this person or we're not going to live.

Speaker 1 Why aren't we saving the numbers right now?

Speaker 14 You should ask that to 18-year-old me who was stoned out of her mind

Speaker 14 in the Supreme jacket.

Speaker 1 I'm doing better about saving the numbers.

Speaker 14 I save all numbers now. Ever since then, I really learned a lesson.

Speaker 1 Do you know there's a name for this? What?

Speaker 1 I'm going to get it wrong, but it's something very dumb, like

Speaker 1 tiptoptimism.

Speaker 1 Can you look it up? It's like tiptoptimism.

Speaker 1 Have you heard about this? Tiptoptimism? Yes.

Speaker 1 Do I have a rabid case? That's tiptoptimism. I have.
Wait, this isn't going to be huge for you. What's tiptoptimism? It's people who are like chronically bad with time, and

Speaker 1 you have an optimism about how much time you think you have. Oh, yeah.
Couldn't be me. Couldn't be me.
It's only about time and optimism has become one word.

Speaker 1 Tids optimism. Yes.

Speaker 1 Say it again. Tids optimist.
Tids optimist. I like tip top better.
I know, I know. Tip top terrible words.
It's actually better. Tiddy.
That's spelled T-I-D-S optimist. Tids Optimist.
Okay.

Speaker 1 Well, we'll check that out. You might have that.
Send that to my therapist.

Speaker 1 Who I'm now angry hasn't brought it up.

Speaker 1 Though it's hard to bring it up when we haven't an appointment in six months.

Speaker 1 Got to text her back. Number's not saved.

Speaker 1 Jared,

Speaker 1 when have you made a mistake on text?

Speaker 1 I feel like I have texted stop to end to the Democrats at least 20 times. And there is no end in sight.
And I feel like maybe you might have something to tell me.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 the texts have got to fucking stop.

Speaker 1 Again, I will say I actually want to figure out if this is possible, but I do believe in something called Democrat Plus, which

Speaker 1 would be an ads.

Speaker 1 It's a car. It's a phone.
It's a car. But it's a service you would pay a monthly fee to support progressive politicians, but no ads, no texts, no phone calls, no nothing.
And everyone makes the deal.

Speaker 14 You're giving this all away for free.

Speaker 1 No, no, they're going to have to donate every you're gonna have to have the idea babe no no yeah i mean it's just for the country right right it's a good idea for the country but it's hard because you have to figure out because then it's like they all want money and they all raise money separately and so you got it's very complicated but but but i kind of like the idea of something called democrat plus um so i'm gonna work on that okay i really am

Speaker 1 i really am for the fancy democrats who want to pay a monthly fee well i just think it's like there's a lot of people donating in five dollar increments all the time and then you're like constantly getting like why not get a tv show out of me yeah i love it yeah right no it's also a streaming service.

Speaker 1 But no, if you go to, like, I'll go to my text right now. I'm going to go to my text right now.
I don't have to look very far.

Speaker 14 You start doing like AI scams of this. I'm telling you, the AI scams, if they were smart, they would tap into the they would just do both.

Speaker 1 They would do it. It's the same company.
It was an AI scam.

Speaker 14 Because there's people who are like, hey, how are you? Oh, are we getting dinner next week? And it's actually a scam.

Speaker 14 Have you been caught in this?

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah. I mean, yeah.

Speaker 14 I feel like there's a missed opportunity for some scamming.

Speaker 1 Also, just as a public service announcement, nobody at Easy Pass is texting you.

Speaker 1 Oh, you were just talking about Easy Pass. That's the one that got me.
You were were just talking about Easy Pass. Easy Pass does not reach out to you.
Or Wells Fargo. I'm like, my Wells Fargo.

Speaker 1 I've never had Wells Fargo. Easy Pass is not texting you.
That's not how it works.

Speaker 1 It's not EasyPass. Don't click that link.

Speaker 14 The scams are getting better. They are.
They're getting more personable.

Speaker 1 Or we are getting older, but let's say that the scams are getting better.

Speaker 1 Speak yourself. We're not getting older.
Hey, that's you. Not me.
No, just this. That's me.
I like this kind of generational dialogue. We have two members of Gen Z and a member of Millennial.
Yes.

Speaker 1 And that's ARP. That's me.

Speaker 1 You're ARP. Yeah.
You're ARZ.

Speaker 14 Well, I used to be Gen Z and now I'm Millennial. They've changed the year.

Speaker 1 Hey, did you see the news that Gen Z is more conservative than Millennials?

Speaker 14 I believe it. There's a lot going on with Gen Z.

Speaker 1 What are we going to do?

Speaker 14 God, I mean, I have the exact answer for this. I have the answer.
I have the exact answer.

Speaker 1 Can we just work on it? Can we just promise to work on it? I'm trying.

Speaker 14 I feel like I try. But the Gen Z's, you know, as a Gen Z millennial, whatever, Zillennial, I'm starting to just like lose grasp.
Like, they're not, they're not, they're not hanging out anymore.

Speaker 14 No one's fucking. Everyone's conservative.
It's scary.

Speaker 1 I was trying to think. It's algorithms.
It's algorithms for sure. I was trying to think of a text that I sent that got me in trouble.
And I actually realized that

Speaker 1 the worst I am as a person is not in the text I send. It's the text I don't send.
And the years of just letting things go by and being like, I got to respond to that until it's gone forever.

Speaker 1 And it sucks. And I kind of wish I could have like an auto reply message that's just like,

Speaker 1 thank you for your text.

Speaker 1 I'm not built for this era.

Speaker 1 And I have time. I'm not like the great myth is that I'm like, we're all so busy.
There are some people who are very busy, but everyone's got four hours of screen time.

Speaker 1 So we're all pretending to be busy. I have the time.

Speaker 1 I could reply, I'm probably not going to, because I didn't think of something to say in the moment,

Speaker 1 and then my day kept going, and then my day kept going, and I'm really sorry. And it doesn't mean I don't love you, but it probably means I don't love you.

Speaker 1 I just don't value them, and I think it's bad, and I think it's how fascism came to America. They'll be like, How did fascism come to America?

Speaker 1 It was mostly texting.

Speaker 1 We tried to find it. It was the pandemic.
It was eggs and it was texting. And in hindsight, it was not the right response.

Speaker 1 If we have hindsight, then.

Speaker 1 What a weird note to end the show on.

Speaker 1 Can I start running for office? I think I'm running for that. Sure.
I would love that.

Speaker 1 I would love that.

Speaker 1 I think it's algorithms is the big problem. I think

Speaker 1 it's designed.

Speaker 1 We know how they work and it's like I my own algorithm feeds me things that I either hate or agree with but even it's always from the loudest people who are the most annoying so even when I read things that I agree with it comes from such an annoying source that it makes me want to stop believing in the things that I believe in and I have to actively talk to myself and put my phone down and remember who I am and stop reacting to this like reactionary thing and that is also like designed from like a billionaire who's like deciding what we look at all the time.

Speaker 1 Like we we just forget that we're like, we're looking at this thing and it's like, and that's just how it works, but it's like is decided by someone that is making, I think the, the pendulum of like conservative and liberal going back and forth is very natural and will happen all the time.

Speaker 1 And that's like kind of okay, but it has become so psychotic and exaggerated because someone started making money off of it.

Speaker 1 And we are just, our whole lives are controlled and ruined by like truly seven people who are profiting off of this. And it's, I hope that it can stop some out.
We need to go back to websites.

Speaker 1 If everyone just had a website, I will get a

Speaker 1 squarespace.

Speaker 1 Well, I will get one

Speaker 1 of my Squarespace. I do think, like, just to, like, I think that that's right.
But I actually think part of it, like, I was talking to a friend of mine,

Speaker 1 and this is where we'll leave it.

Speaker 1 I was talking to a friend of mine who's like trying to think about how to bring local news back, right? Like, we've lost local news in so many places. The newspapers were eviscerated.

Speaker 1 Everything has been nationalized. It means there's tons of local corruption and stories that are not being told.

Speaker 1 It means that when there are problems in Los Angeles or there are potential solutions in Los Angeles, for say the housing crisis, and then these interest groups like the NIMBYs put a bunch of pressure on the mayor to reverse a policy that'll allow more housing to be built across the city because the public isn't able to get fully informed.

Speaker 1 Only the hyper-aware, the kind of special groups that are really paying attention are able to really carry sway and like causes problems all across the country.

Speaker 1 And she's thinking about how do we bring back local news and talking about, well, the business model changed and

Speaker 1 the local places didn't adapt and people really do want local news. That's why there's Nextdoor.
People are clamoring for it. And then part of it is also like, we have to recognize our agency.

Speaker 1 Like, why did these newspapers go away? People stopped subscribing to them. Like, yes, it is the algorithm, but it's also all of us collectively choosing to participate.

Speaker 1 And like, I, like, we have to have both. I think like what I'm, what I'm increasingly realizing is like, part of, I think, what we try to do all the time.

Speaker 1 And I think it's why people like Luigi, it's why people, I think, liked Barack Obama sometimes, is they thought, oh, finally, someone's just going to fix it. Right.

Speaker 1 And like, that's what the right likes Trump, like, someone's going to fix it. We know who to blame.
We know who can fix it. I can just sit here in my house and the problem will get resolved.
And

Speaker 1 we are not getting to the end of this without all of us making hard, hard sacrifices, which may include, by the way, forcing ourselves to do unpleasant things, like not looking at our phones

Speaker 1 and actually having in-person interactions and like accepting some discomfort and boredom uh and challenge that comes along with building coalition with people that don't see the world the same way as you and like the more we take ownership of that and the more responsibility we take for that I think the better hope we have for actually figuring our way out of this and I that's that's what I think about that

Speaker 1 that's our show Thank you so much to Barbie Pereira and Jared Goldstein. We'll see you in two weeks, two weeks from now at the Legion Theater.
Also, check out Saturday.

Speaker 1 We're going to have a very special episode of Terminally Online hitting your feeds on Saturday. Is that happening? Probably.
If you're hearing this, it's happening.

Speaker 1 There are 584 days until the midterms. Have a great night and have a great weekend.

Speaker 1 Love it or Leave It is a crooked media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg.
Kendra James is our executive producer.

Speaker 1 Bill McGrath is our producer, and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Howie Keeper is our head writer.
Sarah Lazarus, Jocelyn Coffin, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, and Will Miles are our writers.

Speaker 1 Jordan Cantor is our editor. Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support.
Stephen Cologne is our audio engineer. Our theme song is written and performed by Schersher.

Speaker 1 Thanks to our designer, Sammy Koderna-Rees, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast.

Speaker 1 And thanks to our digital producers, David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kalman, Delan Villanueva, and Rachel Gajewski for filming and editing video each week.

Speaker 1 Our head of production is Matt DeGroote, our head of programming is Madeline Herringer, and our production staff is proudly unionized with the Writers Guild of America East.

Speaker 1 Now's the time to start your next adventure behind the wheel of an exciting new Toyota hybrid.

Speaker 1 With the largest lineup of hybrid, plug-in, hybrid, and electrified vehicles to choose from, Toyota has the one for you.

Speaker 1 Every new Toyota hybrid comes with Toyota Care, two-year complimentary scheduled maintenance, an exclusive hybrid battery warranty, and Toyota's legendary quality and reliability.

Speaker 1 Visit your local Toyota dealer today, Toyota. Let's go places.
See your local Toyota dealer for hybrid battery warranty details.

Speaker 15 Extra value meals are back. For just $5, get a savory and sweet sausage, egg, and cheese McGrittles, plus hash browns and a coffee.

Speaker 1 Only at McDonald's.

Speaker 6 For limited time only, prices and participation may vary.

Speaker 1 Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska, and California, and for delivery.