
The Autopen is Mightier
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What's up, Los Angeles?
Welcome.
Do love it or leave it live from Dynasty Typewriter.
Looks like school's out for good. Who needs an education when you have all those chickens to raise anyway? Tonight on the show, Al Franken is here to discuss...
Yes! We'll discuss the future of the Democratic Party, and sadly, it's present. Then Osko Okatsuka is back for the ultimate battle of brains vs.
brawn vs. bowl cut.
I'm calling myself brawns because I do Pilates three times a week. Bitches.
Yeah, alright. At the end, we'll all plead for a second chance with some of our first loves.
But first, let's get into it. What a week.
In a Sunday Night Truth social post, Trump wrote that he considered the pardons former President Biden granted to the House January 6th committee, quote, void, vacant, and of no further force or effect because they were signed using an auto pen, which was based on a Heritage Foundation report that may not be accurate. Republicans love a job-stealing robot until it's signing a pardon for Liz Cheney.
Wrote Trump, in other words, Joe Biden did not sign them, but more importantly, he did not know anything about them. This is just flatly untrue.
Joe Biden absolutely knew about them. Does he still know about them? That's a fair question.
But not important. Trump was asked about the pardons aboard Air Force One and whether he considered other pardons in executive order signed via Autopen to be legit.
It's not my decision. That'll be up to a court.
But I would say that they're not going to walk because I'm sure Biden didn't have any idea that it was taking place. It'll be up to the judge, who I will smear publicly every day until that
judge's wife can't walk from her car to jazzercise without her head on a swivel.
Oh, you think that joke is sexist. The judge is a lesbian.
All right. The doctor also a lesbian.
On Friday, Trump quietly signed a proclamation invoking the Alien Enemies Act of 1798 for the first time since World War II, saying that he would use those wartime powers to quickly deport alleged Venezuelan gang members without a hearing. I don't love that he's learning how to do things quietly.
Trump is the potentially rabid bat that's loose in your house. I'm not saying it's good if the bat has a little bell around its neck.
I'm just saying it's better. At least you know where the bat is.
It raises a lot of questions. questions who put the bell there but it's better than not knowing where the fucking bat is on saturday a federal judge temporarily barred trump from conducting these deportations and ordered the administration to return any planes that had already taken off really the only situation i can think of where the pilot announcing that you're heading back to the airport and it's an exquisitely good news.
But the administration did not do that and instead shared footage on Sunday of immigrants being forced off of airplanes and into a Salvadoran megaprison. But I guess we should have had a clearer message on the economy.
So that's on us. Great question, Whoopi and Joy.
I'd lower prices more than Joe Biden, that's for sure. Applause breaks out for 10 minutes.
Wow. Trump's borders are Tom Homan on Monday claimed that the flights didn't need to be turned back because they were already above international waters when the order came through.
I'm just going to flag that this opens the door, specifically the plane door, to extrajudicial murder over international waters, a practice so common in previous conflicts and under earlier fascist regimes that it has a name, and that name is Death Flights. And I would have put a sound effect there, but Lazarus said we were using them, quote, as a crutch.
But that won't be a problem anymore because Lazarus is on a death flight. Holman also said this.
We're not stopping. I don't care what the judges think.
I don't care what the left thinks. We're coming.
In fairness to Tom, deporting people without a hearing is the only way he can come. Also on Monday, the White House shared a video of shaggled Venezuelan deportees being forced onto a plane accompanied by the song Closing Time by Semisonic.
Yeah.
Yeah. Closing time.
You don't have to go home, but you can.
Don't sing along with the fascist propaganda. I haven't seen a great song defiled like this since the last time I went to karaoke and sang Closing Time by Semi-Sonic.
Semi-Sonic, in a statement, objected to the video and said they don't condone the song being used in this way, adding, the song is about joy and possibilities and hope, and they have missed the point entirely. And here I thought it was a song about getting laid after the bar closes.
A learning moment for us all. So why would the White House post such a video other than as fascist agitprop for internet poisoned losers sitting in front of sticky keyboards beneath ceremonial displays of strip mall katanas.
Press Secretary Carolyn Leavitt, no relation, explains. They're encouraging illegal immigrants to actively self-deport to maybe save themselves from being in one of these fun videos.
Being in one of these fun videos. In fairness, on Caroline's letterbox, she described the movie Room as the perfect date night movie.
Weird. Just weird taste in movies.
Get the popcorn.
The deported Venezuelan immigrants were allegedly members of the gang Trente Aragua,
but relatives of at least four of these men insist they weren't affiliated.
Again, we learn the dire importance of keeping an updated LinkedIn profile. Ahead of a hearing Friday, lawyers for five of the immigrants say none of them received due process and several of them were identified as gang members due to common tattoo designs before being sent to a maximum security prison in El Salvador.
Head writer Hallie has a huge tattoo that says, and this is real, yes and on the side of her ass. That's right.
She has the fucking improv slogan, yes and on her ass. She belongs in a maximum security prison.
Way more than those guys. One man had a crown memorializing his late grandmother, while another had a rose tattoo with leaves made of money.
We used to have due process. Now our immigration policy amounts to what a white Gen X divorced dad thinks being in a gang means based on old episodes of CSI Miami.
Another man was a Venezuelan soccer player who protested against the country's authoritarian president, Nicolas Maduro, last year, and his lawyer said he was allegedly detained and tortured by the Maduro regime before legally seeking asylum in the United States. His lawyer said he was ID'd as a gang member based on a tattoo of a crown over a soccer ball and a soccer media post in which he made devil horns.
He went like this. I can't believe this is how I find out that everybody on my 10th grade field trip to the Liberty Bell was in the Venezuelan gang Trend de Aragua.
It's fucking evil. He kidnapped these people.
And yet, even as stories of the mistakes being made by the administration make the need for due process even more clear, Trump called for the district judge, James Bozberg, who issued the orders putting a hold on the deportations to be impeached. House Republicans raced to introduce articles of impeachment, making Boesberg at least the fifth federal judge to face a GOP impeachment attempt
after ruling against the Trump administration. It's just an intimidation tactic because it still
requires 67 votes in the Senate to remove a judge. So it's really just a terrifying waste of time,
like a Conjuring movie or asking a guy in a fedora what he's working on.
That evidently rattled Chief Justice John Roberts, who on Tuesday issued a rare statement rebuking
Trump, saying impeachment is not an appropriate response to disagreement concerning a judicial
decision. First they came for the judges, and I realized, fuck, I am a judge.
Trump was asked about the statement on Laura Ingraham. What's your reaction to the courts stepping in to make a statement here? They didn't make a statement when Joe Biden, you know, decided to forgive all those student loans.
Well, he didn't mention my name in the statement.
I just saw it quickly.
He didn't mention my name.
It's true.
The chief justice could have been talking about any sitting president calling for the impeachment
of federal judges.
When Ingram asked whether Trump would defy a court order, Trump did the weave.
Are there circumstances where you would defy a court order?
Well, I think that, number one, nobody's been through more courts than I have. I think nobody knows the courts any better than I have.
I would say the chief judge does, but nobody knows them better than I have. And what they've done to me, I've had the worst judges.
I've had crooked judges. Nobody understands marriage better than I do.
Why I have more ex-wives than anyone. Some of the worst ex-wives you've ever seen.
But at least one Republican is pushing back. Here's Senator Lisa Murkowski on why
Republicans have gone silent. That's why you've got everybody just like zip-lip, not saying a word,
because they're afraid they're going to be taken down. They're going to be primaried.
They're going to be given names in the media. You know what? We cannot be cowed into not speaking up.
What's this wee shit, said Lindsey Graham, rubbing a Trump bobblehead with mineral oil for some reason. This week also brought us an amazing moment from a town hall in Columbus, Nebraska,
where Republican Congressman Mike Flood foolishly asked how his constituents wanted to resolve the deficit.
Tax the rich! Tax the rich!
Here's a, okay, let's talk about this. Let's talk about this.
So your proposal to solve this is to tax the rich really open the mike floodgates uh this is neither here nor there uh but mike flood looks like the kind of guy who went out of print around 1998. They stopped making that edition.
Was he a floor model? Did somebody find him on eBay? What's happening? They don't make that guy anymore. If you too would like to go to a GOP town hall and shout at supportive democracy, I have some great news.
Vote Save America just launched a new push to hold Republicans accountable by connecting you with other voters who want to show up to these town halls or other events Republicans are too afraid to attend in their districts. So go to votesaveamerica.com today and do your email and zip code and get connected with state and local organizations near you who want to put these screams to good use.
Also, if you are hearing this on Saturday or Sunday, I am in Wisconsin right now and we're campaigning to elect Susan Crawford to the Wisconsin Supreme Court. Yes.
And to stop Elon Musk from installing a right wing judge who will then shift the court into a Republican majority that will put in place a near total ban on abortion, will do gerrymandering, will rig elections. so go to votesaveamerica.com slash Wisconsin.
Come say hi. I'll be in Madison on Saturday all day.
We'll be in Milwaukee on Sunday. Come say hi.
All right. Yeah, sure.
Meanwhile, the EPA has presented the White House with plans to eliminate its scientific research arm and potentially fire over 1,000 scientists who provide the research on air pollution, hazardous chemicals, and climate
change. Looks like we're down to just one experiment.
Us. Yep.
Donald Trump on Thursday
signed an executive order dismantling the Department of Education, though it will ultimately
take an act of Congress to formally close the department. It's a depressing executive order,
but look on the bright side.
In a few years, no one will even be able to read it.
Democratic Senator Tina Smith fired back at Trump, tweeting,
We know you're just trying to wear us out, but for the record, I am not overwhelmed.
My zone is in flooded.
Mine is, said Lindsey Graham, the bobblehead nowhere to be seen. At a party convention on Sunday, a French official asked America for their stuff back.
We're going to say to the Americans who have chosen to side with the tyrants, to the Americans who fired researchers for demanding scientific freedom, give us back the Statue of Liberty. First, they took Roman Polanski and the most annoying people from college.
And now this? Honestly, if they also take our tired, our poor, our huddled masses yearning to be free, I think they could get a deal. White House spokesperson Carolyn Leavitt, no relation, issued this response.
Absolutely not. And my advice to that unnamed low-level French politician would be to remind them that it's only because of the United States of America that the French are not speaking German right now.
Ooh, sick burn, sick burn. We did save France from the Germans.
For years, the United States resisted entering World War II, of course, as Hitler's armies marched across Europe and the Luftwaffe murdered tens of thousands of civilians across Britain to cow Churchill into a capitulation that thankfully never came, even as the America First movement here in the United States, rife with anti-Semites and fascist sympathizers, fought any effort to lend support to our desperate allies, all the while knowingly scoffing at the hysterical notion that the war could ever reach our shores, not unlike how President Trump snapped at Zelensky in the Oval Office a few weeks ago. During the war, everybody has problems, even you, but you have nice ocean and don't feel now, but you will feel it in the future.
God bless. You don't know that.
God bless. God bless.
You will not have the war. Don't tell us what we're going to feel.
So there's this federal judge, Trump put him on the court in 2020, and if a judge was put on the court by Trump in 2020, he's a real fuck. And he filmed this shocking video as part of a dissent.
You pull the trigger and fire a round. Right when that happens, it automatically will rack the slide back, eject the round, the spent cartridge out of the gun.
It will grab a new round out of the magazine, put that round into the chamber, into the barrel, and it'll be ready to fire another round the next time you pull the trigger. So obviously ridiculous.
It's a play for Trump's attention and a spot on the Supreme Court shortlist while basically making himself an expert in the case and antagonizing his fellow judges who ruled in a different way. In a long list of offenses of the last few weeks, it doesn't really rank high.
But of course, it's only interesting and sensational because it's a departure from a tradition of respect and integrity in our judiciary by judges for the process and for each other. He can do this.
He can film a little video with guns, a judge issuing a dissent with guns in his hand because he lives in a system built by people who would never do that. They can threaten the Department of Education because we no longer live in a world where volunteers had to go door to door to find children with disabilities who had never seen the inside of a classroom.
Why are they so willing to fire scientists at the EPA? Because it's been a long time since the rivers caught fire. Why are they disbanding panels that help make sure that the government releases accurate economic data, which Commerce Secretary Howard Lutnick announced last week? Because whatever their designs on manipulating public perceptions of the economy, these people do not have nearly enough respect for the value of trustworthy nonpartisan data or fear of a world where people are starving while the government tells us we've never been richer.
How can someone like Lutnick, who got rich in finance, take to the cameras to push a single stock from his perch at Commerce like he did on Wednesday when he told Fox viewers to buy Tesla stock? If you want to learn something on this show tonight, buy Tesla. It's unbelievable that this guy's stock is this cheap.
It'll never be this cheap again. I'll note that it did go down after this.
Lutnick was able to build his vast wealth in a society that until just a few years ago had strong laws and norms against brazen public corruption just like that. It's the same reason Republicans can negotiate a funding bill without Democrats while trusting that Democrats are too responsible to allow the government to shut down because their little teenage political rebellion is made possible by the responsibility and integrity of others past and present.
Caroline Levitt, no relation, gets to stand at that podium and make her snide little joke because people like her lost. At the 1936 Democratic Convention, FDR gave what is to me one of the great political speeches ever given.
It's known for Rendezvous with Destiny. But it ends when he talks about people in other lands who sold their heritage of freedom for the illusion of a living.
And here we are, 90 years later, it's happening here. And that's what Trump is selling right now.
And his wife is not even a lesbian. FDR is rolling over in his grave.
He also was rolling while he was alive. But that was forward and back.
is over speaking of tesla the company has been forced to recall most cyber trucks to repair a piece of trim that's prone to flying off in traffic because it's just glued on it's not a cyber truck it's a sports glutility vehicle but where elon taketh away, Elon giveth, Suni Williams and Butch Wilmore, the two astronauts who have been on the International Space Station for nine months, returned safely to Earth on Tuesday on a SpaceX vehicle due to a paperwork... Absolutely.
Welcome home. Due to a paperwork error upon landing, they were sadly transferred to a Salvadoran megaprism.
But their lawyers are hopeful to have them back in the U.S. in the next nine months tops.
Yeah, that's a good joke. The astronauts were originally supposed to be in space for an eight-day mission, but problems with their Boeing capsule left them stranded for the better part of a year.
And that's why you always pack 266 extra pairs of underwear.
And finally, startled researchers in New Zealand
captured footage of an octopus riding on the head of a shark
and nicknamed it Sharktopus.
I haven't seen a romance this unnatural since season three of White Lotus. Sorry, Lazarus.
Coming up, he's funny, he's serious. He's Al Franken.
Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
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And we're back.
Please welcome to the stage.
He's a man who knows how to get a vote and a laugh.
And God knows the Democrats need both.
Please welcome back to the show.
It's Senator Al Franken.
Thank you for being here. Welcome back.
There he is. Thank you.
Good to see you. You're in this new Netflix show.
Yes. The Residence.
The Residence. It's fun.
Premiered on people's TVs today. Today.
I just saw the beginning of the first episode coming here because I was like, oh, I want to see what this is about. Oh, well, then you saw me.
And there you were. There I was.
In a hearing room. In a hearing room.
As a senator. As a senator.
That was cool. What was that like? It must have been so exciting.
Well, the sets are amazing. the whole the whole show is it takes place in the uh sort of the residence it's called the residence of the white house and there's a murder and uh my senator is there i'm the chairman of a committee to try to determine whether it's a suicide or a murder.
And it's a murder, but my senator wants it to be a suicide to cover for the, I don't know, the White House for some reason. Interesting.
Not really, but that part. No, no, it's actually a hilarious eight shows.
Yeah, it's really fun. And Minogue is in it? She sings in it, yes.
She is in it. Did you talk to her? I did not.
I was in the hearing room at the time. Uzo Aduba? Do you know Uzo? Yeah, she's been on this show.
She is the star of this show. And she's absolutely amazing in it.
She's like the detective, right? She is the detective, Cordelia Cup. That's a fun name.
Yes. There's great names in this.
What's your name in it? Senator Aaron Filkins. Oh, Filkins.
That's a fun name, Filkins. Yeah, Filkins.
The names in this are really good. But anyway, and so no, Uzo is remarkable.
There's a scene in the last episode in which she basically has a 30-minute monologue. But don't spoil it for them.
Well, I wasn't going to. You're right.
I don't know why I doubted you. Yeah.
What was I going to do? Say who the murderer was? Yeah, don't do that. Yeah, and it is a murderer, not a suicide.
Right. Okay.
Did he have any flashbacks having to talk to Ted Cruz? Did I have any? No, I didn't. You know, it was funny.
The first stage note for my character was avuncular. Oh.
So I thought of colleagues of mine who had been avuncular, like Lamar Alexander of Tennessee, avuncular. Let's see.
Who else did I think of? Oh, Chuck Grassley? Oh, yeah. Avuncular? You know, Orrin Hatch died.
And I went in my email, and I searched for his name for some unrelated reason. And it turns out that he had emailed me before he died because I had shown an interest in ending daylight saving time.
Well, actually going to permanent daylight saving time, which is something that he was in favor of. And he had sent me an email about it saying that he agreed.
I missed it. Dead.
But he's avuncular is all I was getting at.
He was avuncular.
Did you know him? I did, of course.
Yeah. We served.
We wrote a song together.
He used to write songs and I had a song
that we teamed
up on. Wasn't great.
Okay. Who else is avuncularcular? Or Lindsey Graham could be a vuncular.
So, anyway, we're in a constitutional crisis. Yes.
Yes. Just something we should probably get to.
I was chuckling about it backstage. But, uh, I feel like there's this sort of strange there there are these two things happening side by side on the one hand trump is doing these extraordinarily dangerous things right and strange and and and um kind of unprecedented things whether it's uh what he's doing uh to our allies in europe or what he's now doing with these sort...
What he's doing to Ukraine. What he's doing to Ukraine.
I mean, that is just unbelievable. He's switched sides.
When he said to Zelensky, you don't have the cards, the number one card was us. Right.
And so he's basically saying, I'm taking away the card.
And that is just a travesty.
So I want to understand what you think we should be doing to respond to that because what I often see are Democrats in what is sort of a classic vice grip
of dealing with a rising authoritarian menace, which is they believe in the institutions. They're trying to prove that those rules and institutions can work by following them, but they're dealing with someone that doesn't care about the rules.
We'll use them when they're useful. We'll break them when they're not.
And I wonder if you just have an overall sense of how you think Democrats should be fighting back?
I think Democrats should be fighting back by taking every chance they can to, well, they could have, for example, made them go over the cliff on the continuing resolution.
On the continuing resolution.
So I'm curious, so you think they should have stuck together and said, I mean, that's
Thank you. On the continuing resolution.
On the continuing resolution. So I'm curious.
So you think they should have stuck together and said, I mean, that's what Nancy Pelosi has said. Others have said that.
Well, Pelosi said that she always got something. If you give something up, you always get something.
And Schumer didn't get anything for giving up. So then what do you make of the argument? Look, I think this is a genuinely hard question,
though I come down where you are.
The Chuck Schumer response to that is,
they didn't negotiate with us,
but they know correctly that a shutdown would be devastating,
that Democrats care more about the consequences
than Republicans do,
and it would accelerate what Trump and Elon
want to do to dismantle the government anyway. They could turn that shutdown into a win, and there would be no off-ramp.
That's one way to look at it. Well, what's the response to that? What's the response to that? We live in the world.
I mean, this was why I feel like Schumer's getting a ton of blowback, and I think it's rightfully so that he does, but it's in the luxury of the world where we didn't have the shutdown by a bunch of people saying he should have fought harder. But if we were in the shutdown right now and we didn't know how to get out of it, it might not be so obvious.
Well, I see your point but I just think that we have to show that we can fight. And I think that by just giving them the votes, we didn't do that.
Yeah. How much of it do you think is not just, obviously in the final moments, there was a binary choice.
Do we give them the votes or not? How much do you think was in the expectations and strategy leading up to that?
What do you think they should have been doing differently before we ever got to that vote?
Well, they should have been negotiating and saying, we'll give you something for our votes.
That's usually how these things work.
That's what Pelosi was basically saying.
She doesn't give up something unless she gets something. But they do think that's what how these things work.
That's what Pelosi was basically saying. You know, she doesn't give up something unless she gets something.
But they do think that's what they were doing, right?
Like there was a bipartisan process that Patty Murray was running in the Senate.
And I guess the hope was if a House bill couldn't pass unanimously among the Republicans, then that would have come to fruition.
But once Trump kind of...
But once a House bill did pass, they didn't think the Republicans would pass it, right?
Right.
So they just didn't have a plan B. They didn't have a plan B, yeah.
Well, that was a mistake then. Got to have a plan B.
Got to have a plan B. So polling basically shows an overarching problem for Democrats that our national brand is very bad.
There's just new data came out. David Shore wrote about it in the Times, talked about it with Ezra Klein, that across a broad swath of issues, Democrats are less trusted than Republicans, except on a very few issues like climate change, mental health, Medicare.
There was a few, very few issues, set of issues where we got, but on a host of other issues, inflation, immigration, affordability, housing, the economy, Republicans have us beat. What do you make about that? What do you make of that? How did the Democratic brand become so toxic? And what do you think about figuring out a way out of it? Well, obviously, on something like inflation, the peak inflation at 9.1%, that kind of killed us for it.
Yeah, we got hammered for that.
Yeah, we got hammered for that.
And that happened for all kinds of reasons, one of which was that we probably paid out too much money during COVID.
They're never going to agree with you on that. They're like, shut up.
Hey, Al Franken, shut up. Well, I think that, you know, Summers said that we were doing that, and I think we did.
I think we got inflation because of it. How much do you think we paid for having, like how much of a price was the joe biden in the final two years of his term had become such a terrible communicator well i i you know i this is an easy thing to do but i blame biden for not doing what he said he was going to do when he ran the first time, which he said he'd be an interim transitional figure.
And he obviously was beginning to fail.
And I don't know.
Everybody here experienced that first debate.
And why he didn't pull out after that, I don't know. I also wonder, I mean, I don't know what you think about this, but obviously Joe Biden, like we paid a price for having the bully pulpit basically empty, but I also wonder too that a lot of the Democrats who might become presidential candidates are people that sat out and didn't challenge Joe Biden during that time because they thought it was too risky, that they kind of didn't want to pick that fight.
And I wonder if you think Democrats pay a price now for having been a part of, look, I think everybody was making the best choice they could, given thate biden was still in the race and nobody had challenged him but collectively the country saw leading democrats all get behind someone that with it with their own eyes they thought wasn't up to it i don't think that they knew that he wasn't up to it i don't think they saw that until they saw it at that debate i i really thought, I remember talking to someone who is a very highly thought of Democratic, someone who advises candidates and is very good at this, saying that they couldn't wait to that debate where Biden would show what he was and kick Trump's ass. But then we saw the first three seconds of that and then the rest of that debate, and we just were flabbergasted.
Wasn't that a wild night? Remember that, watching it? You're just like, it was really surreal. You couldn't believe what you were seeing.
My wife and I were just, you know, distraught. I mean, it was, that was the election right there.
Yeah. For me, I'll tell you, it was different for me.
I would say I was distraught for the first 30 minutes. Then I was a little bit numb.
Then the last 30 minutes, I was like, well, this is not going to work. You know, we're going to get a change.
It was so bad, it became something else. It became vaguely exciting.
You thought that he would drop out. Yes, of course, because of what we saw with our eyes.
I yeah it was shocking that he
didn't like the next with our eyes. Yeah, it was shocking
that he didn't, like, the next day
go...
Yeah.
I'm out of here, everybody.
Remember when Jill Biden had to come
out after and say how great a job he did?
That's how you know you have found the right person.
That's a good marriage. I do.
I mean that.
You know, that's what you want. You want to fuck up so bad in front marriage I do I mean that you know that's what you want you want to
fuck up so bad in front of the whole country
and then have your wife come out and be like honey
way to go you fucking did it
you're great
were you
you never you're not somebody that breaks
I do break
sometimes huh
huh
how was that SNL 50
oh that was great
Thank you. break sometimes.
Huh. How is that SNL 50? Oh, that was great.
You think there'll be another 50? Well, it would have to. I don't think Lauren can do another 50.
Right. If that's what you mean.
Yeah. It's amazing to do 50.
It's amazing to do 50. I was there.
I was one of the original writers. Yeah.
Yeah. And, you know, I remember Tom Davis.
I don't know if you remember Tom Davis, Franklin Davis, or this comedy team. And we were two of the original writers.
And I remember as soon as we got there and met the other writers, met some of the cast, and I just said, Tom, this is going to be a big hit. And he went, yeah, right.
And I just knew it was going to be a big hit because our generation had never had a chance to be on TV. And so this was, and we had, you know, we had Belushi.
We had Aykroyd.
We had Gilda.
We had Jane and Lorraine.
We had Chevy.
We had Garrett.
That was it.
We had seven cast members.
If you think about it now, think about how many cast members,
do you watch the show now?
Yeah, they're like, I don't know, 17, 18 cast members do you watch the show now yeah they're like i don't know 17 18 cast members and and featured players not since john belushi dined alone have a genius something like that something like that it's a thomas jefferson yeah thomas jefferson dining alone yes yeah yes i don't like thomas jefferson'm not. I think he's overrated.
He wrote the Declaration of Independence. Yeah, and I think he gets, he definitely gets the credit for that, for sure.
Okay. I just...
Explain yourself. So, I think he's, like, temperamentally very French, and he had a, there was a moodiness to him and a kind of like, there's a kind of like hypocritical egotism to the whole thing.
And obviously a slaveholder. And there was a really...
Well, he, yeah, and had a romance. Well, that's a thing.
In the history books written by the kind of people that wrote history books when they were writing those history books,
it's a romance. Also, he operated
a nailery in which children
had to make nails all day.
And so it's like, he wasn't just like a slave owner.
I did not know that.
Not just a slave owner, he was like into it.
He was into it.
Look, there's no, I think,
just to be clear, just because people will see this on the internet no good way to be a slave owner that's right that's right I agree I'm with you on that a nailery a nailery where they make nails sweltering hot it's hot it's like they make the nails kids how do you make nails you get metal very hot and then after that It's like they make the nails. Kids.
How do you make nails? You get metal very hot. And then after that, it's something about the small hands, I think.
I don't know. Okay, okay.
We're learning stuff here, right? Do you have any other things you want to talk about? There are a few things I wanted to talk about. Let's see.
Did uh the reconciliation bill that'll be coming oh well so so the next fight will be reconciliation yeah uh we've now had the cr the cr takes us through september now that's a bill that required 60 votes in the senate which is why democrats had a say in it but now we're going to have a reconciliation bill the republicans can negotiate it's without democrats at all you can do that with 50 because they can do that with 50 votes in the Senate. This will be the vehicle for them to cut Medicaid, potentially cut Social Security.
But this is to... There's a debt ceiling.
Yes. And they have to do something about it.
Yes. And I worry about Republicans who think that, well, there's nothing wrong with going over the cliff.
Yes. I worry about that too.
Yeah. Because, you know, we're the reserve currency of the world.
And if we did that,
I don't think we would be anymore.
But that's why we bought all that crypto. Remember, we were talking about that backstage.
We're big crypto guys. It's a dollar sign Franken.
Frankencoin. I actually don't get crypto and I never have.
Oh. A bunch of people missing the train applauding.
I don't think so. Yeah.
No, the debt ceiling, it's a bad deal for sure. Yeah, so that's going to be an exciting moment when we go off the cliff on that.
So you just want to warn people about it? Huh? So you're just worried about it? I'm worried about it and warning people about it. And I just want to make sure that the Republicans don't go off the cliff.
Yeah. Well, some of the Republicans know this.
Now, this is where you get back to the problem with supporting the CR, because what Republicans have relied on for as long as I've been in politics is knowing that when push comes to shove, even though they won't have the vote amongst Republicans to raise the debt ceiling, because they're Republicans that have never in their entire careers ever voted to raise the debt ceiling, they can get enough Democrats to do the responsible thing to make sure that we don't hit the debt ceiling. That's what's happened every time in the past.
But right now what they're talking about is a reconciliation bill to cut taxes by trillions of dollars for billionaires and cut a bunch of services. If they add the debt ceiling to that, they're not going to get Democratic votes for that.
Well, the whole point of these cuts in Medicaid of, what is it, $885 billion over 10 years, it's just so that you can do tax cuts for the richest people in the country. And it's just sick.
It's sick. It's sick.
You know that the day that you started Air America, I've told you this before, but I'll tell you again. I don't care.
I bought a radio to listen to Air America Radio so that I could listen to your first episode of Air America Radio. Thank you.
I got a piece of pizza at 43rd and 11th, and then I put the batteries in the radio, and I listened. Wow, you are a nerd.
But that's, so am I. So I'm a political nerd too.
Yeah. Yeah.
So there you are. Senator Al Franken, everybody.
The Residence is on Netflix. Al's going to stick around.
We'll be right back with Asuka Akatsuka. Hey, don't go anywhere.
There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp.
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That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash love it. app today and enjoy zero dollar delivery fees on your first three orders service fees apply for three orders in 14 days excludes restaurants please welcome to the stage atzko katska yes hello hi hi thanks for being here hello beautiful hello hi hello an honor hi Hi.
How's it going? Hey. So good to see you.
Good to see you, too. It's been so long.
It's been so long. In fact, I know that we know the last time we saw each other.
Right. Because last time we saw each other, I left my jacket at your house.
Yes. And I've been talking about it forever.
And I forgot it today, too. Yeah.
Yes. To bring it.
Yeah. Eight months ago, I said, oh, I'll pick it up next week.
And then you were in Survivor. Yeah.
No, but yes, it was a long time ago. Yes, you know, time.
It's good to see you. Great to see you, too.
And you have a Hulu special. Yes, I do have a Hulu special coming out in June, Disney Plus Internationally.
Yes. Nice.
Maybe if I say thank you. I saw your last special.
Thank you so much for watching. I saw your last special and it was terrific.
Thank you. And I saw it with my daughter and her 11-year-old son who loved it.
Yeah, that's the thing. A lot of children, a lot of parents have their children watch my shows.
And I'm like, I'm not, I think because they're like, oh, look at her haircut. She's so family friendly.
She's so wholesome. Like six-year-olds will be at my shows.
And I'm like, I'm not wholesome. My family is Parasite, the movie.
Okay? There is mental illness. There is, immigrants.
There's all kinds of stuff going on. Magical rocks.
Magical rocks. What is Magical Rocks? Was that in Parasite? That's in Parasite.
Oh, I don't remember. It's a magical rock.
I don't remember that part. Was that a calming part? Was that a calming part in the movie? Did you watch Parasite? I also watched Parasite and also don't remember that.
There's like a stone that has properties. Am I crazy? That's the part you took away from a movie where there's murder and people having to run away.
We're talking the same Parasite. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
No, for sure. Like the Korean family?
Uh-huh.
Okay.
Okay.
Yeah, no, we all take away from things different things, you know?
And, right?
Yes.
Yes.
Yes, we, the stones. It's imbued with, it has properties.
That's right.
Hey.
That's right.
So you filmed your special on November 9th.
Yes, I did.
Yes, yeah.
And that was an interesting time. It was.
It was. I said, why me? You know, who's...
It's like everyone was like, well, this will be good, you know, because people will need it. I said, yeah, people will...
How about my feelings? Who's making the comedian laugh? You're Pagliacci. Yeah, I know.
Exactly. Or whatever.
That's right. That's right.
Pagliacci. Do you know this story? Yes, not everybody.
About the clown. Pagliacci.
But doctor, I'm Pagliacci. Yeah, thank you.
What is going on tonight? Thank you. It's an educated...
Very interactive. Yes, but doctor, I'm Pagliacci.
I never know whether to say it correctly or like trash from Long Island because I want to say Pagliacci. You know what I mean? Like I want to say it Long Island style.
Yeah. Pagliacci.
Pagliacci. Who are we talking about? He's a clown.
It's another subplot in Parasite. He keeps bringing up.
No. And so, yeah.
But honestly, election week, you know, so it happened on Tuesday, right? The elections and I was shooting my special on Saturday. But honestly, remember that week, like every day since after the elections, it felt like four weeks had passed.
Yeah. So it actually worked to my advantage.
Like people had forgotten by the time Saturday rolled around or like they were they were like, we do not want to talk about it. yeah so I loved your previous special thank you which was uh a lot about uh your uh I've I've I've seen I have now don't know if I'm confusing specials but this was special a lot about your mother I was gonna say rocks or stones magical stones no uh yes it's about my mother yes it's about my mother about an intruder that came, the intruder.
Three times in the same day. Yes, there was an intruder that came to my house three times in the same day.
So I made that like the three acts. And then in the end, how we ultimately like fought him off or yeah, it's a special.
How did you figure out what to talk about in this special if you couldn't rely on somebody trying to break into your house? I know, right? Right. That's why comedians are always like, oh, I got to go and bungee jump or I got to go to Peru to find stories.
Yeah. But some people go on reality shows.
It's crazy. Right.
And I don't blame you, you know, but sometimes like your family has enough secrets. Like I said, my family is like parasite the movie and that, you know, there was always more to uncover.
Like I found out my grandma had technically kidnapped me when I was a kid. My grandma's my best friend.
She raised me. And Ira Glass helped me figure out the truth this year.
And so that's in my new special. He's a good person to go to for that kind of a thing.
He's very soothing voice. Very soothing voice.
Very nonjudgmental. He'll just say it to you like it is.
He just was like, well, I did the research, Atsuko, and your grandma did technically kidnap you, and you could still press charges if you want, is what he said. Very helpful, very calm.
Yeah. Huh.
You're right. I'm not going to.
No, no. Okay.
You like your grandma. She's my best friend.
Yeah. So why would you want to do that? Exactly.
Yeah, exactly. And what? For money? Her money is my money.
This does pay, right? I told her. Yeah.
Okay. I mean.
Now, in the time we've taken up to catch up with Otsco more and more news has happened oh which is why we're going to quiz both of you about this week's news and the other headlines we maybe haven't covered yet in a segment we're calling news it or lose it is that a recurring feature?
If we do it a second time, it will be.
So we've got to make it good.
I was cheering for it, I thought.
They're just well-trained.
Question number one.
Which famous baseball player and civil rights icon
did the Trump administration delete
from the Department of Defense website this week, adding letters dei to his page's url wow enola gay that's a good guess because they did remove enola gay from the department of defense website because it had the word gay in it wow there's just an oopsie it's so hard to keep up i mean we can just name anyone right now oh well we've already lost i see the sad face in it. Wow.
It was just an oopsie. It's so hard to keep up.
I mean, we can just name anyone, right?
Now, oh, well, we've already lost.
I see the sad face.
Okay, never mind.
The correct answer is Jackie Robinson.
He served in the Army during World War II.
The White House subsequently reinstated
Robinson's page on Wednesday
with the Pentagon press secretary
telling the press,
everyone at the Defense Department
loves Jackie Robinson.
We made a mistake. No, they didn they didn't let's not go crazy uh next question governor gavin newsom sent what to approximately 100 california ceos including tech leaders along with a note that said if you ever need anything i'm a call away.
Al, this is on you.
I'm here to...
Enola Gay?
No.
Did not send the World War II bomber, the Enola Gay,
the decommissioned World War II bomber that dropped the bomb on Hiroshima
to Enola...
No, it was a burner phone.
What a... It was a burner phone.
What? It was a burner phone. Just to say, hey, call me.
You know, he's available, I guess. Okay.
So he gave each of them a burner phone? Yeah. Okay.
I think it was like a bit. I see.
To say he's like, you can reach him, you know, because he cares about business. You think you know someone.
Now, Ansco, I do have a question for you, which is where are you with phones? Are you ready to switch to a flip phone? Are you sick of the phones? I am not sick of the phones. I'm actually, yeah, I'm actually kind of pro-cell phone addiction, a little bit, because, you know, like it's, what's the alternative? Your own brain and your thoughts, you know, and so that's that's terrifying.
And so, right, because the depression commercials are always like people are like, I'm depressed in the commercials. But none of them have a phone in their hand.
What are these what are these people with depression in the commercials? What are they doing? They're always outdoors.
They're getting lost in a park. Yes.
Someone give them a phone.
Yes.
But flip phones, yeah, that counts.
Words.
It's still distraction. I like my phone too, although I think it's bad for me next up during his unhinged trip to the Kennedy Center this week Donald Trump raved about Betty Buckley's performance in what famous Broadway musical I'll provide a hint okay all white cast yeah probably I'm just thinking but that's already a lot of musicals it's a kind of musical where you'd make a lot of memories a lot of memories memory cats correct oh he likes cats he is unhinged he also was previously talked about we talked about this on the show that he's previously talked about music man and that's a musical about a con artist who comes to a small town inspires them with a vision of a more perfect past and then ultimately to try to steal from them but then has a kind of an awakening and i don't i don't really remember the details uh but isn't that interesting that Donald Trump's, one of his favorite musicals, is a musical about a con artist? Yeah.
It makes sense. It makes sense, but he's not really self-aware.
It's a great musical, though. Sure, yeah, yeah.
Music Man or Cats, which one? If you had to watch one for the rest of your life. Music Man.
Music Man. It's got a plot.
But Cats is, like, unexpected every time. For me, I've watched it, and every time I'm still like aghast like what what do you mean and so I like that surprise element of cats every time you know I like that music man has some rap elements they're not called that but it's kind of what it is.
Yeah. River City.
All right. Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Trump specifically talked about Buckley's turn, Tony-winning turn in 1983 of Grizabella.
Our fascist president. What a funny thing.
Grizabella? Is that another musical? I don't know this one. No, that's a cat.
Oh, one of the cats. It's Grizabella.
See, I'm... Oh, I guess.
Again, I don't remember... I don't remember Grizabella or Grizella.
By the way, that's the only movie, Cats, that my husband has ever walked out on. Oh, really? Yeah.
It was like a 1 p.m. showing.
And he knows what it's about, but like five minutes in, they're going, Jellico, cats, oh, Jellico. My husband stands up and goes, I can't anymore.
He leaves. There's children in there.
It's a matinee show. There's children in there.
There's children in there. He goes to see that.
Remember that Fox News movie, Bombshell or something? Remember? Yeah, he went to go watch that instead. Yeah, anyway.
I walked out of one musical in my life and it's, I'm actually going to admit this for the first time. I do think it's damning.
It was a West End production of Rent. Just walked right out.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
It's been a long time. Do we have to pretend it's good? Someone's clapping.
Someone's clapping. Wait, why? Because.
It's terrible. Okay.
We're finally ready to talk about it. Wow.
Wow, look at what you started. Okay.
Did not see it. Never saw it? Never saw it.
Is it, it was your first time watching it and you were like, this plot sucks kind of thing? I can't remember. I was 20, I think I was 20 years old and, you know, there was a whole world to explore.
I didn't, but Sure. I could have.
Next up, speaking of Broadway, New York Post critic Johnny Olenski wrote a recent column complaining about the $921 ticket price for Denzel Washington's Broadway play. The show then took away his free ticket, so he bought his own ticket and wrote the headline, blank, Denzel Washington's dull Broadway show isn't worth a $921 ticket.
What is the show? I don't know, but so he had a free ticket that cost that much at first? So he thought the ticket price was too high. He was going to go review the play.
They took away his free ticket ticket so he bought a ticket, went to the show and wrote a review that says not worth the price. Wow.
A $921 ticket. Yeah, I mean, it wouldn't be worth the price after just $120 anything, right? Any show.
But anyway. Do you know this? It's Shakespeare.
Should we say it? It's Othello. Oh.
Othello. And I think it's with Jake Gyllenhaal.
It's Jake Gyllenhaal and Denzel Washington in Othello. And it's $921.
That's right. You could either get an iPad or you can see this.
From a racist backlash over
casting Rachel Ziegler, to Ziegler's
pro-Palestinian comments, to the protesters
demonstrating on the Walk of Fame this week,
Disney's live-action Snow White has been fraught
with controversy, so what better way to distract
us than by sending what adorable
woodland animal down the film's
premiere red carpet?
They sent an animal
down the red carpet. What kind of animal was it? Was it A, a sheep? Was it B, a rabbit? Was it C, a deer? Or was it D, a D, a moose? You're like, was it D, a doe? A deer? I mean, it's got to be deer because, you know, that's in the movie.
A deer is in the movie. Probably.
And a bunny too, but bunny's more underwhelming. Right? Maybe, maybe.
So it's a bunny. Oh.
It's a bunny. Oh, okay.
A rabbit, in fact. Sorry to...
It's a rabbit that has a million instagram followers wow because we live in hell there it is no way not not to be like a jealous hater but like why her why why a million followers why her well if you don't get it you don't get get it. I guess so.
I mean, look at that rabbit. That's why.
That's a star. Oh, I didn't know she owned a sweater.
Look at that. Look at that.
Okay. Look at that.
That stance is nice. But a lot of rabbits, no offense again, but kind of they look alike, right? Am I crazy? Is that a real rabbit or is it a...
It's AI. No, it's a real rabbit.
It's a real rabbit. Okay.
Okay, yeah. All right.
Cute rabbit. It did distract.
You're right. It did do something.
Final question. Which one of these is not a medical symptom the newly returned astronauts can start recovering from after spending nine months in space which is not a condition they experienced upon returning to Earth? Is it A, chicken legs? Is it B, puffy face? Is it C, a little too tall? Okay.
Or is it D, all of the above? Which would mean not of the above. Wait, hold on.
Hold on, what's chicken? It doesn't make sense. Wait, what's chicken? Can I ask what chicken legs is? I don't know what that is.
They're just delicious. They've come down with...
I think I mean skinny. Skinny legs.
Skinny legs. Because they weren't running around up there because of their space.
Okay, so skinny legs, or you come back too tall, or you have a puffy face, or all of them are wrong? Or all of them are right. I'm not quite sure.
You're not sure. Okay.
Because it starts off with which one is not correct. Right.
Or none of the above.
Hey.
Al, are you glad you flew in for this show?
No.
Hey, this is going to be a recurring segment.
Everybody be cool.
It's going to edit beautifully.
No, it's good.
It's good.
It's good.
So is it... How about this?
We're going to need a moment to talk about this. Or is it D, not, not all of the above? We got this.
We got this. Okay, so you're going to answer.
Oh, D. Yeah, that's right.
Yes! Teamwork. Incredible.
They got puffy faces, skinny legs, and they increased their height by 3%. Wow.
That's incredible. Wow.
Yeah. That seems cool.
Yeah. What a drag, though, for those folks.
You think being stuck up there for nine months? Yes. Yeah.
Too long. Yeah.
Too long. I feel like...
About eight months too long.
Yeah, yeah.
They were supposed to be up there for eight days, right?
Eight days.
Yeah, yeah.
Being up there for nine months.
What a delay.
You know, sometimes you go to the airport and it's like they delay the flight in like
10 minute increments and all of a sudden you've been there all day.
Think about how bad a mood you are at the end of that day.
Now imagine you just never leave the airport for nine months. Oh you come back taller but also less hot okay no thanks yeah and not to mention your personality right like i would be cool if i could the whole time work on my personality too but you probably come back not as not as nice right everybody was so weird after the pandemic for like a year and a half.
Oh, no way.
So, yeah.
They're in quarantine up there.
Oh, so all you get is height?
Okay, no thank you.
Yeah.
Otsko and Al, thanks for playing News It or Lose It.
The winner is Otsko.
What?
Al, you were robbed.
It was close.
It was close.
It was really close.
It was really close.
A whisker.
It was a whisker.
A whisker on Grizabella.
I am upset for you.
I'm sorry. It was close.
It was close. It was really close.
It was really close. A whisker.
It was a whisker. A whisker on Grizabella.
I am upset for you. When we come back, it's time for a blast from the past.
Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
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Right, we're back. All right, love it or leave it, listeners.
You're an audience of refined, exquisite tastes, so we're thrilled to share our newest podcast from Crooked. It's Shadow Kingdom, God's Banker.
In the summer of 1982, the Vatican's top money man was found dead. Roberto Calvi was at the center of a prolific money laundering scheme that put him in the crosshairs of the Sicilian mob, a secret far right chapter of the free ministers and the Catholic church.
His death was ruled a suicide, but 40 years later, host Niccolo Mainoni got a tip that there was more to the story. Join him as he unspools the threads of this immersive true story to answer the question, who killed's banker the first two episodes of shadow kingdom are available right now wherever you get your podcast or better yet join our friends of the pod community to binge all of the episodes right now at crooked.com slash friends or in the shadow kingdom apple podcast feed also love it or leave it live in dc the tickets are on sale right now.
Join me April 24th. We're back at the Lincoln Theater.
Truly some of my favorite shows we've ever done have been at the Lincoln Theater.
Excited we're back
because it's around the Correspondents' Dinner.
There's VIP tickets.
We hang before the show.
The tickets are actually going very fast.
We haven't even shared our guest lineup yet,
so please come to the show,
crooked.com slash events.
And we'll be back at Dynasty next week, so if you're here in L.A., come to the show crooked.com slash events. And we'll be back at Dynasty next week.
So if you're here in LA, come to the show next week at Dynasty. Alright.
To close out the show, in honor of the Snow White reboot, we're going to share one thing we'd each like to reboot in a segment we're calling Rebootalicious. Yeah.
Come on now. Oh, come on.
Look at that. That's horrible.
Yes. Rebootalicious.
Here's how it works. We're just going to share one thing we think we might want to reboot.
Al, take us away. What's something you would like to reboot? MSNBC.
Oh. Okay, just start it again.
Well, I'd like to animate it oh an animated that's fun green lip that's fun like in a kind of Pixar style or like Miyazaki sort of lyrical and magical or very like kind of just big eyes and cute. Oh, cool.
So, like, all of a sudden Chris Hayes is like a big hippo. Something like that.
That'd be fun, huh? All right. Asuka, what's something that you would like to reboot? Oh, probably the brutalist.
Already. Already.
Like, yes. Because why wait so long? Just do it again.
While it's still in conversation. You think just a new version of The Brutalist? With the acceptance speech.
Yeah. But.
With what? With the acceptance speech by A.J. Brody.
Oh, boy, yes. But animated, too.
Also animated.
Also animated.
I feel like there's actually, I was a speech writer.
And I learned something from that acceptance speech because I just never thought about it. Which is, if you ever basically either in word or if you say some version of, I have something important to say.
But you have nothing.
Like you've actually genuinely prepared nothing for what comes after that. You fucked up.
Yeah, right. That's a big fuck up.
For sure, yeah. Because it's an unforced error.
And then go, but wait, wait. Yeah, I'm not done.
Yeah. It's awesome.
It's actually awesome. See, it was an iconic moment and I feel like, you know.
do it again back to one everybody yeah yes well those were our thoughts and you John oh I want to reboot the video store slash blockbuster I think but here's why this was Chris Hayes wrote that book about attention and it was great I listened to it at 2x speed while watching something else and uh just kidding I did listen to it in the car but I focus uh but he talks about how you used to go to a video store you would drive and you would pick one thing and you'd be like this is exciting we're gonna watch this one thing and you would drive it home and you would have a night and it would be surrounded by the idea of watching this one thing and it was so fun it was so exciting a movie was a thing it was a big deal you were gonna pick your movie and go home and experience your movie and then drive it back and And now it's like, I don't know, should we watch anything from any moment ever through all of recorded time? Nah, there's nothing. I was thinking about what I wanted to watch, which is of anything ever in all of recorded time.
And I can't think of anything. So I guess I'll just watch four episodes of The Real Housewives of New York before I go to bed.
Yes, yes. And honestly, fucking incredible.
Incredible. I love every...
I mean, I can't believe how good it is. Oh, I'm just realizing you're not rebooting it as a movie.
No, I'm rebooting the concept. I just think we need to find a way to reboot the concept.
Sorry, this whole time I was like, oh, I'm following the plot. A blockbuster.
Yeah. Yeah, and I don't think we need a physical video store that you drive to, but we do need to reboot the concept of like everyone is going to choose one
special thing to experience
and treat it with respect and pay attention
to it and then be done with it.
You know? That was a good
way of living. Al remembers.
You're older. Yes, yes.
I do remember that.
Hey, hey, yeah.
I remember too.
Yeah, I was so young. I thought he was talking about a movie that he wanted to make.
No, but also, good idea. Yeah.
So that's what I want to reboot. Thank you.
Al Franken, thank you so much for being here. Oh, thank you for having me.
Otsko Katska. Thank you.
Check out The Residence. Check out Otsko's new special on Hulu.
That is our show. We will see you next week at Dynasty Typewriter.
If you're in Wisconsin or in Chicago or anywhere around it, come say hi to me over this weekend.
There are 591 days until the midterm elections.
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and have a great weekend.
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Thank you.
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