DEI Didn’t Start The Fire

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Speaker 2 Hello, Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 Thanks for coming out to the Elysian tonight.

Speaker 1 How's everybody doing?

Speaker 1 Everybody enjoying a deeply contentious and also quite vague debate about air quality?

Speaker 1 Everybody love inconclusive scientific advice that acts as if we are all both in a war zone and at the beach

Speaker 1 in a county that is larger than Delaware and Rhode Island combined

Speaker 1 providing one kind of guidance, even though some people in this city and county live as far apart from each other as New York City and Philadelphia?

Speaker 1 Everybody loving that part of it?

Speaker 1 Welcome to Love It or Leave It.

Speaker 1 It's 2025. Are we having fun yet?

Speaker 1 Jimmy Carter did it right.

Speaker 2 He got out, got out at the perfect fucking moment.

Speaker 1 In all seriousness, you all know that we record this show in Los Angeles, and the fire sent this city into mayhem this past two weeks.

Speaker 1 So many people, from first responders to civilians, are doing everything they can to help and volunteer and donate. And then there's me on this stage because it takes all kinds.

Speaker 1 We love LA, and that's what this show is about tonight. Ron Perlman is here,

Speaker 1 Langston Kerman is here,

Speaker 1 And Los Angeles, at this episode, is her own character, kind of like sex in the city. LA is obviously a carry, and Ron Perlman is not so obviously the Samantha.

Speaker 1 Get to that later. Also, Vote Save America Action and Cricket Ideas started a disaster relief fund last week.

Speaker 1 It's already raised almost $200,000 to provide critical aid to the organizations making a difference on the ground in our communities, including the Los Angeles Regional Food Bank, the Latino Community Foundation, the Los Angeles Fire Department Foundation, United Way of Greater Los Angeles, and Inclusive Action for the City.

Speaker 1 These donations are making a difference, and Cricket's proceeds from your tickets tonight are going to support their work.

Speaker 1 So, if you can, and if you can, please donate at votesaveamerica.com/slash relief. Really appreciate everybody donating to the fund.
And everybody's tickets tonight are going to go.

Speaker 1 So, I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 Appreciate you coming out.

Speaker 1 But let's get into it.

Speaker 2 What a week.

Speaker 1 Yes, the biggest news here in Los Angeles, other than Justin Baldoni's countersuit,

Speaker 1 are the wildfires fueled by drought and intense Santa Ana winds that have devastated Southern California and which continue to burn as we speak.

Speaker 1 But tonight, we're going to put all that aside and have a good time. No, I'm kidding.
We're going to talk about the fires.

Speaker 1 The two largest fires in the greater Los Angeles area destroyed neighborhoods in the Pacific Palisades and Altadena, killing at least 27 people and burning down over 12,000 homes, businesses, and other structures that have been counted so far.

Speaker 1 Also, with all these parks empty, the coyotes are thriving.

Speaker 1 I look forward to having to beat one to death with a bat if it comes anywhere near my dog or takeout.

Speaker 1 As fires broke out across the city, Los Angeles residents were forced to evacuate.

Speaker 1 Celebrities like Leighton Meester, Adam Brody, Joshua Jackson, Anna Farris, and friend of the show, Ricky Lake, lost their homes to the blaze.

Speaker 1 Also, some normal people who I'm told live in Los Angeles as well.

Speaker 1 And when a tragedy strikes a city, the nation's eyes turn to its mayor. But we had to turn our eyes pretty far

Speaker 1 because she was in another country.

Speaker 4 Do you owe citizens an apology for being absent while their homes were burning?

Speaker 4 Do you regret cutting the fire department budget by millions of dollars, Madam Mayor?

Speaker 5 Have you nothing to say today?

Speaker 4 Have you absolutely nothing to say to the citizens today?

Speaker 1 Come on, you're the mayor. You're out of the country when the city that you're the mayor of burned down.
You got to say something. My thoughts are with the city.
We will rebuild. It's me, the mayor.

Speaker 2 Anything.

Speaker 1 Now, where was the mayor? At the inauguration of the new Ghanaian president as part of a delegation for the Biden administration, you know, basic mayor stuff.

Speaker 1 Critics pointed out that Bass left for Ghana on January 4th, despite the National Weather Service issuing warnings about an upcoming windstorm headed towards L.A. She's definitely gonna regret that.

Speaker 1 And then the New York Times reported that in a 2021 interview, Karen Bass promised not to travel abroad if she was elected mayor.

Speaker 1 When asked by the Times about the downside of being mayor, Bass, who traveled extensively as a congressperson, said of the job, not only would I, of course, live here, but I also would not travel internationally.

Speaker 1 The only places I would go would be DC, Sacramento, San Francisco, and New York in relation to LA. Everyone has characterized this as a promise or a pledge, but she really wasn't making a pledge.

Speaker 1 She was saying, compared to being a congressperson, she wouldn't really be traveling abroad if she were mayor. It was a prediction, not a pledge.

Speaker 1 When I walk out of the Cheesecake Factory and say, I'm going to have life-changing diarrhea tonight,

Speaker 1 I am not taking a solemn diarrhea oath.

Speaker 1 Now, I'm not defending Baz for this trip. I just think the facts are mad enough.

Speaker 1 Also, as that reporter said, the Los Angeles Fire Department did have its budget cut last year, but even that criticism isn't so cut and dry. If it was cut and dry, it would have burned down by now.

Speaker 1 Yes, Bass's financial plan for 2024 did cut the fire department budget because there was a big budget deficit, but the city council also approved an increase of over $53 million for firefighter salaries and benefits as part of the firefighter union contract, as well as $58 million for new fire trucks and other department purchases.

Speaker 1 According to the Washington Post, overall funding for the LAFD went up by $80 million or almost 10% in the 2024 to 2025 fiscal year.

Speaker 1 Plus, there's probably going to be even more money available next year now that all the schools burned down.

Speaker 1 On Friday, when asked by reporters that the city of LA had failed the fire department, fire chief Kristen Crowley told the press yes.

Speaker 1 But the department itself was also criticized for not having pre-positioned resources in the Palisades given the extreme conditions.

Speaker 1 The truth is, we will learn over months what we should do differently next time and what we could have done better this time, which is very different from people on their phone seeing a terrible calamity and deciding they know exactly who to blame.

Speaker 1 For example, experts say the sudden increased use of fire hydrants across the region caused the water pressure to drop, but Donald Trump blamed Gavin Newsom specifically, demanding that the governor immediately go to Northern California and open up the water main, even though no such main exists.

Speaker 1 And while terrified citizens evacuated their homes and entire neighborhoods burned to the ground, the GOP took the opportunity to leverage the tragedy against Democrats.

Speaker 1 Here's Senator Tommy Tubberville on Newsmax. Senator, why should other states be bailing out California for choosing the wrong people to run their state?

Speaker 2 We shouldn't be. They got 40 million people in that state, and they're voting these imbeciles in office.

Speaker 2 And they continue to do it.

Speaker 1 We didn't vote for the win, Tubberville.

Speaker 1 Conservatives also blamed DEI initiatives for the wildfire, singling out Fire Chief Crowley in particular for being a lesbian. Of course, they all dropped that complaint once she turned on the mayor.

Speaker 2 Besides,

Speaker 1 don't happen. Besides, has there ever been a more soothing and calming phrase than lesbian fire chief? Once I heard it, I too became enraged, enraged that there are fire chiefs who aren't lesbians.

Speaker 1 In reality, researchers have connected worsening wildfires not to lesbians, but to climate change, tracking how Southern California's hottest, driest season has shifted to overlap with the region's windy season.

Speaker 1 And then there's the mayor's absence.

Speaker 1 She has said that she was in constant contact with officials on the ground, and perhaps her being away at the beginning of the emergency didn't impact our response.

Speaker 1 On the other hand, is that really such a great argument? I'm the mayor and it didn't matter that I wasn't fucking here,

Speaker 1 right?

Speaker 1 I don't know. Seems Seems like you want someone who's going to be adding value.

Speaker 1 No? Okay.

Speaker 1 Regardless, throughout this unfolding disaster, we were reminded that there is no crisis or emergency too serious to stop people from playing experts on social media and spreading scary, sensational rumors and lies.

Speaker 1 While the best place to get information has remained, the reporters at the LA Times, at the local television stations, other journalists on the ground, along with volunteers at sites like Watch Duty, taking their responsibility to the community seriously.

Speaker 1 We personally got a small small window into this at Crooked.

Speaker 1 Last week, a bunch of accounts accused Crooked Media of using Vote Save America's Disaster Relief Fund, which I just mentioned, which is currently collecting money to distribute to local organizations, of scamming people.

Speaker 1 And then when we said in no uncertain terms that Crooked, Vote Save America, Crooked Ideas, we take zero dollars. We take zero dollars.

Speaker 1 It was then that we found out the reason we started this fund is that we saw our city burning and we decided it was a great opportunity to trick people into giving us their email addresses.

Speaker 1 That was our plan. We were worried about the air quality, hearing that our friends' houses were burning, and we're like, this is a great opportunity to get those sweet, sweet email addresses.

Speaker 1 Just one example, we heard today from LA Food Bank that because of donations from all of you, our relief fund has funded some 148,000 meals,

Speaker 1 which is really great.

Speaker 1 The right accuses us of using a horrific tragedy to trick people out of their money and it's like, no, no, no, that's your side's thing.

Speaker 1 not that the left doesn't fall for it too tick tock was full of misinformation about the fires and people of all political persuasions were sharing it freely emergencies polarize and magnify everything including our desperate need for a villain that's the flip side of a conspiracy theory sure they're scary but they're also deeply reassuring the truth is there is no one villain the best mayor on the planet would still have watched the palisades burn but that doesn't mean she didn't fuck up climate change is absolutely a factor but so is how we manage land in our state and so are our housing and zoning and insurance and water policies.

Speaker 1 And so is the fact that we live in a place that is prone to wildfires.

Speaker 1 The saddest part of all the misinformation and finger pointing is that it obscured the truth, that amidst the chaos, we also got to see the government at its best.

Speaker 1 The firefighters, the utility workers, the men and women who work for the city, the county, and the state who leapt into action to keep the disaster from becoming an even worse catastrophe.

Speaker 1 And then there's the people of Los Angeles who immediately turned to their communities to contribute, to donate, to volunteer, and to show up instead of immediately using their neighbor's pain for political gain.

Speaker 1 This is why we need a functioning government. This is also why we need each other, because when this crisis is behind us, we have a lot of coyotes to kill.

Speaker 1 And while hopefully Los Angeles has begun getting these literal fires under control, the more figurative fires in our politics are at 0%

Speaker 1 containment.

Speaker 1 Yes, on Monday, Donald Trump will be sworn in for a second term, and we'll all feel like number two.

Speaker 1 And he can be sworn in knowing that the last legal cases against him have all been wrapped up with a bow. On Friday, Trump was sentenced to nothing in his New York hush money case.

Speaker 1 Technically, this is called unconditional discharge, which is shameful. The minimum sentence Trump deserves is uncontrollable discharge.

Speaker 1 And just after midnight on Tuesday, the Justice Department released special counsel Jack Smith's report on Trump's efforts to overturn the 2020 election, which said that the evidence would have led to Trump's conviction and trial if he hadn't won re-election in November.

Speaker 1 Good stuff. Good stuff.
Does anyone else want to try ketamine?

Speaker 1 Oh, this just in. We have Trump's response to the Jack Smith report.

Speaker 1 No, no.

Speaker 1 Trump actually wrote on True Social shortly before 2 a.m., Jack is a lame-brained prosecutor who was unable to get his case tried before election, which I won in a landslide. The voters have spoken.

Speaker 1 Despite being the luckiest man in the history of the world, the incoming president has already found plenty to complain about, including the distraction of Jimmy Carter's death.

Speaker 1 Trump said on True Social the Democrats are all giddy about our magnificent American flag potentially being at half mast during my inauguration.

Speaker 1 Actually, it's half staff, said a local giddy Democrat before returning to the fetal position.

Speaker 1 But don't worry, on Tuesday, House Speaker Mike Johnson said the U.S. Capitol will raise its flags for Trump's inauguration.
Honestly, I'm having a hard time getting worked up about this.

Speaker 1 Trump allies have done way worse stuff with flagpoles at the Capitol.

Speaker 2 Hmm.

Speaker 1 That was better than your response.

Speaker 1 I know sometimes you're correct,

Speaker 1 but that time you were wrong.

Speaker 1 Also, Jimmy Carter was 100. It's not sad.

Speaker 2 Flags should go higher when a 100-year-old dies.

Speaker 1 Sure, a lot is wrong with our society, but a lot has to be right for anybody to make it to 100.

Speaker 1 Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Mark Zuckerberg will reportedly attend the inauguration, where they'll be seated with elected officials and Trump's cabinet picks.

Speaker 1 Nightmare blunt rotation, meet nightmare blunt occasion.

Speaker 1 Both Michelle Obama and Nancy Pelosi will reportedly skip the event. I can't be in the same room with him, they both said about Biden.

Speaker 2 Speaking of...

Speaker 1 This week marked President Biden's final week in office, but on the bright side, it's the first week of the rest of his life.

Speaker 1 On Wednesday night, Biden delivered this cheerful farewell address from the White House.

Speaker 8 The dangerous consequences if their abuse of power is left unchecked.

Speaker 8 Today,

Speaker 8 an oligarchy is taking shape in America of extreme wealth, power, and influence.

Speaker 1 Okay, thanks for the heads up.

Speaker 1 Biden also warned Americans about the spread of unchecked misinformation on social media.

Speaker 8 Americans are being buried under an avalanche of misinformation and disinformation, enabling the abuse of power. The free press is crumbling.
Editors are disappearing.

Speaker 8 Social media is giving up on fact-checking.

Speaker 8 The truth is smothered by lies told for power and for profit.

Speaker 1 Continued Biden. But let's wrap this up on a high note.
Let's see here. Who's excited for this Robin Williams monkey movie?

Speaker 1 Speaking of oligarchy, Senate confirmation hearings for Trump's cabinet nominees began on Tuesday.

Speaker 1 The day before Defense nominee Pete Hegseth's hearing, the New Yorker reported that Hegseth ordered three gin and tonics at a weekday breakfast meeting as recently as spring of 2023.

Speaker 1 All of you are being very judgmental about these gin and tonics. Does he have a drinking problem? Maybe, but does he have malaria?

Speaker 1 Absolutely not.

Speaker 1 Here's what his breakfast acquaintance told Jane Mayer from The New Yorker. It was an extremely strange experience.

Speaker 1 We met at Fox News in New York for breakfast, and he suggested we go across the street to a bar. It was like 10 in the morning.
Then he ordered two gin and tonics at the same time for himself.

Speaker 1 To be polite, I ordered one too, but it was so strong I couldn't drink it, so I ordered coffee. Then he had a third gin and tonic.

Speaker 1 I don't know how he could pass a security clearance, but they're trying to create a culture where whistleblowers are uncomfortable coming forward.

Speaker 1 I love the idea of ordering a gin and tonic at 10 a.m. to be polite.
Jane Mayer's anonymous source, you're such a people pleaser.

Speaker 1 Don't be afraid to take up space, Jane Mayer's anonymous source.

Speaker 1 Here's Arizona Senator Mark Kelly asking a series of true or false questions about Hegsa's alleged drunken behavior. You needed to be carried out of the event for being intoxicated.

Speaker 5 Senator Anonymous. True smears.

Speaker 4 Just true true or false?

Speaker 5 Very simple. Summer of 2014 in Cleveland, drunk in public with the CVA team.

Speaker 5 Anonymous Smears.

Speaker 1 Anonymous Spheres, also known as what's left of a group of protesters after Heg Seth throws back a few gimlets and presses the big red button.

Speaker 1 I know, I'm sensing. that I am a little darker than where you're at right now.
And I'm actually, that's okay.

Speaker 1 that's part of that's why we do it live. I appreciate that's learning.
I'm getting that.

Speaker 1 I'm also realizing that that is was also the true in 2017, that there was a brittleness at the beginning of the Trump administration. And here's the good news: I'm not going to meet you.

Speaker 1 You're coming to me. You can do it tonight.
You can do it next week. You can do it a year from now.
But where I'm at, you'll be here. So just keep that in mind.

Speaker 1 After senators questioned Heg Seth over his marital infidelities and alcohol consumption, Oklahoma Senator Mark Wayne Mullen accused Democrats of being hypocrites.

Speaker 5 How many senators have showed up drunk to vote at night?

Speaker 5 And then how many senators do you know have got a divorce before cheating on their wives? Did you ask them to step down?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 5 But it's for show. You guys, make sure you make a big show and point out the hypocrisy because a man's made a mistake.
And you want to sit there and say that he's not qualified? Give me a joke.

Speaker 1 First of all, love give me a joke.

Speaker 1 Love our language, love how it changes.

Speaker 1 That hearing was all over the place. I don't know about going after him for marital infidelities.

Speaker 1 But senators voting drunk once in a while after dinner isn't that big of a deal because their job is to vote.

Speaker 1 And if you fuck it up because you're drunk or a thousand years old or just dumb, there's an exhausted, broken Type A staffer right behind you to tell you you voted incorrectly so you could fix it.

Speaker 1 But it would be a problem if your senator threw back a few cocktails at breakfast before heading to the hearings.

Speaker 1 And that senator wouldn't be in charge of one of the largest bureaucracies on earth and responsible for life and death decisions.

Speaker 1 I don't want to be flip about alcoholism, but that's not what we're doing.

Speaker 1 That's what Republicans are doing by pretending this nomination isn't a disgrace even before the nominee actually says some version of, if you make me defend, Secretary, I'll give up alcohol, a sad promise when the stakes are far lower.

Speaker 1 You would not be reassured if you received this promise from a candidate for, say, neighborhood crossing guard or dog sitter. So what are we fucking doing here? Oh, that's right, losing.

Speaker 1 Despite his disqualifying statements, personal misadventures, alleged drinking issues, and more, Hegseth's confirmation is likely because Trump has successfully bullied and or coaxed Republicans into submission.

Speaker 1 Hegseth, no doubt, went home and slept like a baby, a baby who just pounded seven gin and tonics.

Speaker 2 Sleepy baby.

Speaker 1 Then on Wednesday, Attorney General nominee Pam Bondi appeared before the Senate Judiciary Committee.

Speaker 9 Are the felons convicted of breaking into the Capitol on January 6th hostages or patriots, quoting Trump?

Speaker 9 As President-elect Trump has said repeatedly, do you agree with his characterization of the felons? that I referred to?

Speaker 10 I am not familiar with that statement, Senator.

Speaker 9 I just familiarized you with that statement. He has also said illegal immigration is poisoning the blood of our nation.
He said that in December 2023. Do you agree with that statement?

Speaker 10 Senator, I am not familiar with that statement.

Speaker 1 I can't wait to see who will play her on Saturday Night Live, you whisper over my grave.

Speaker 1 Parker Posey, perhaps.

Speaker 1 Also on Wednesday, the Supreme Court heard oral arguments in a First Amendment case challenging a Texas law requiring age verification to access Pornhub.

Speaker 1 Then next week the court will hear the anal arguments.

Speaker 2 Come on.

Speaker 1 If only Learned Hand was around to hear this one.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 1 That joke is for a very small subset of people. And if you're one of those people, see a trivia night.

Speaker 1 The Pornhub hearing brought us this incredible question from United States Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito.

Speaker 11 So one of the parties here is the owner of Pornhub, right? Yes. And what percentage of the material on that is not obscene as to children?

Speaker 1 Well, Your Honors, if we're talking about the youngest minors, I would agree that most of it is. And that is how we read it.

Speaker 11 Is it like the old Playboy magazine? You have essays there by the modern-day equivalent of Gord Vidal and William F. Buckley, Jr.

Speaker 1 Overall, 10 out of 10.

Speaker 1 An Oscar-worthy performance of of Supreme Court Justice who has never been on Pornhub.

Speaker 2 Yeah, man.

Speaker 1 Gorvadal's writing essays. The modern-day Gorvadal.

Speaker 1 Said the lawyer in response, yes, it's like the old Playboy, Your Honor. Just scroll a little further and you'll get to Gia Tolentino's new piece on irony poisoning and climate change.

Speaker 1 In international news, negotiators from Israel and Hamas have reached a tentative agreement on a multi-phase ceasefire deal after more than a year of war in Gaza.

Speaker 1 Some people think Trump deserves the credit for this, some people think Biden does, but I think we all know who really got this done. Thank you, Jimmy Carter's ghost.

Speaker 1 And chemical news, what?

Speaker 1 The FDA announced that it will ban Red Number Three, a synthetic food dye made from petroleum that's already banned or restricted in other parts of the world because it's been linked to cancer and animals.

Speaker 1 Also banned after it was linked to brain cancer, Red 1.

Speaker 1 And finally, Te Iitnwes Jeta died viar denalium denat skip to

Speaker 1 Rot Director Y de Elusion Chil Divad. And now let's reverse it.

Speaker 1 David Lynch, the legendary director of Twin Peaks

Speaker 2 and Mohan draw.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 He's dead. And sometimes he did stuff backwards.

Speaker 1 Right? So what's your problem?

Speaker 1 You just said he's dead. Yeah, you said that.
Nobody with that head of hair should be allowed to die. That was a beautiful head of hair.
You can't take that into a coffin.

Speaker 1 That should be in the world.

Speaker 2 Sucks. Plus the art.

Speaker 1 All right, B.

Speaker 2 RIP to a real one.

Speaker 1 David Lynch up there in heaven creeping out God.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 1 Up next, he's beauty and he's beast. It's the one, it's the only, Ron Perlman.

Speaker 13 Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

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Speaker 2 It's like, what's the theory?

Speaker 1 The theory is that there's an invisible layer of asbestos, that the asbestos fell when we weren't looking, and now it's on the ground, but we're kicking it up.

Speaker 1 Where's the asbestos?

Speaker 1 But then it's like, maybe there is asbestos. I don't know.

Speaker 1 It's all, by the way, like, I obviously don't have any children, but a lot of my friends have children.

Speaker 1 And my understanding, and anyone here can tell me if this is wrong, the mom group threads are out of control, with out of out of control, right?

Speaker 1 It's about air quality. Everybody, and it's very passive-aggressive.
It's like you have to read more closely.

Speaker 1 And actually, well, we wouldn't let our Madison go outside, but you do you, that kind of thing.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 200 messages an hour blowing up. And no, and everybody is just, everybody's on the fly.
And like, and

Speaker 1 everyone's a doctor. Everyone's a doctor.

Speaker 1 And our kids are going crazy. And your kids are going crazy.

Speaker 1 Here's the joke I was going to make. Here's what I was going to say, which is, are you letting your kids play outside or are you good parents? See, that's.

Speaker 1 And we're back.

Speaker 1 He's been to Hellboy and back. Please welcome back to the stage.
It's Hollywood's own Ron Perlman.

Speaker 1 Good to see you again. Thanks for being here.

Speaker 1 Oh, it's funny. I didn't realize this is not a plant.
This is a temporary chair. What a, I like the power dynamic.

Speaker 2 I'm watching a lot of like revival, you know, with Instagram, you get to see these great clips of stuff that, you know, from yesteryear and stuff.

Speaker 2 Do you notice that Dave Letterman is always up here and his guests are always like down here? Yeah. Same thing with Johnny Carson.

Speaker 1 I think, do you do that? You guys do that shit on purpose? I've never done it before and I love it.

Speaker 1 It's kind of like I usually like to be lower

Speaker 1 like a beta dog on my belly so that the guest feels like they're in control. That's usually my strategy.
Go the other way with it. And yet tonight, I'm in the power seat.

Speaker 2 You're the dominatrix.

Speaker 1 And before we move any further, what is your safe word?

Speaker 2 They seem to be intrigued.

Speaker 1 Did you have a... They're enjoying it?

Speaker 2 I have no safe words.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's exciting.

Speaker 2 Anyone who follows me on social media knows

Speaker 2 there are no safe words with the pearl.

Speaker 1 That's good. That's good.

Speaker 2 I thought that was my dead aunt over there, but she's still dead, I guess.

Speaker 1 Wouldn't that be something?

Speaker 1 Do you have any unfinished business with her?

Speaker 2 Talk about revivals, huh? Huh?

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah. No,

Speaker 2 I still owe her money.

Speaker 1 Do you think she's in hell with David Lynch?

Speaker 2 You know, there's too soon and then there's that.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 the guy is still smoking.

Speaker 1 Yeah, for sure. No, for sure.
For sure.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was famously sensitive. I'm sure it's...
But so, but...

Speaker 1 What did you...

Speaker 1 No, no, there were rumors online that you were going to play Tom Waits in a David Lynch movie. Have you heard those rumors?

Speaker 2 What do they call those? Urban myth?

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's like an urban legend.

Speaker 2 This was one that really like I wished, I just like, oh, wouldn't that be cool?

Speaker 1 That'd be awesome.

Speaker 2 Wouldn't that be cool?

Speaker 1 Not gonna happen now.

Speaker 2 No, somebody made that shit up.

Speaker 2 I could still play Tom Waits', what's his, his son, his brother?

Speaker 2 What was the rumor?

Speaker 1 It was Tom Waits. I think you were gonna play Tom Waits.

Speaker 2 I was gonna play Tom Waits for David Lynch. Yeah.
Wow.

Speaker 2 I'm going to,

Speaker 2 before the night is over, I'm going to give you a version of what that might have looked like.

Speaker 2 I am.

Speaker 2 John Wright.

Speaker 2 Okay, okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 1 I mean, other people could direct it.

Speaker 2 Who needs a director? Yeah.

Speaker 1 So you've lived in LA a long time, originally from New York, but you lived in LA a long time.

Speaker 1 How long have you been, how long have you lived here?

Speaker 2 First came out here in 1985.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 no applause for that.

Speaker 1 So this will be your 40th year in LA?

Speaker 2 Gold standards. I guess

Speaker 2 I'm asking for applause for 1985.

Speaker 2 They didn't even write a book, like 1984 at least got a book.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I came out here in 85. I was 35 years old, doing math.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 1 we can all do it.

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 1 or don't. And was it hard living in LA for 39 years before the Sabrina Carpenter smoothie came to the Erewhon?

Speaker 2 I'll put it to you like this. It was a hard slog.
Yeah.

Speaker 2 It was a hard fight, but I'm really glad we stuck to it. And,

Speaker 2 you know, the next smoothie's on me, baby.

Speaker 1 It's $23, and it contains marine collagen, pearl powder, and blue spirulina.

Speaker 2 Where do you go from there?

Speaker 1 I think they're important ingredients.

Speaker 2 I've never heard of any of those. No, no.

Speaker 1 No, they seem like a fad.

Speaker 1 It seems like we've lived a long time on this planet without knowingly eating blue spirulina.

Speaker 2 I like how

Speaker 2 the world seems to

Speaker 2 be conspiring with shit like that.

Speaker 2 to remind you of how ill-informed you are.

Speaker 2 Like,

Speaker 2 here's something you don't know. Oh, okay, what's that? And then Bruce Spirulina comes along and you say, I'm so small.
God.

Speaker 2 I'm so, I'm so worthless.

Speaker 1 Hey, hey, Ron.

Speaker 2 Everybody knows Bruce Spirulina.

Speaker 2 Hey.

Speaker 2 Can't even say it.

Speaker 1 No smoothie can make you feel inferior without your consent.

Speaker 2 There's a waiver you sign when you get that, right? That's right.

Speaker 1 That's right. Now,

Speaker 2 I still feel really small.

Speaker 1 You're so much taller than me, and yet here I am so high up, and now I'm sitting even higher.

Speaker 2 This chair is no better, otherwise I'd move.

Speaker 1 Well, it's the same chair.

Speaker 2 I noticed that. I mean, I could.
I don't know shit about Blue Spirulina, but

Speaker 2 I can see the leveling out of furniture when

Speaker 2 it's right in front of my nose.

Speaker 1 When you first moved to Los Angeles,

Speaker 1 was there a moment where you had like a quintessential LA experience?

Speaker 2 Oh, fuck, yeah.

Speaker 2 The best, the best.

Speaker 2 You know, when you live in New York, you know,

Speaker 2 you have stores that you go in to buy a magazine, to buy a newspaper. But here,

Speaker 2 you put 50 cents into a thing, and you can get eight or ten papers, you know, just like.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Eight or ten papers, you just pull them right out. Right.

Speaker 1 You just steal them. You have to buy them individually in New York.
No, yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they have an honor code here.

Speaker 2 That's how I.

Speaker 2 What do you mean? What?

Speaker 2 What do you mean an honor code?

Speaker 1 Never mind, nothing.

Speaker 2 You open the machine, there's eight or ten papers there. Yeah, you bought them.
It says, take me.

Speaker 2 That's right. And I'm saying, LA, baby.

Speaker 2 I think,

Speaker 2 to quote my hero Frank Sinatra, L.A. is my lady.
Huh.

Speaker 1 Because of the newspapers.

Speaker 1 And what do you do with the second one?

Speaker 2 I sell those. Oh, you sell those? Well,

Speaker 2 how do you think I got through those first, you know, really hungry years in L.A. when no one knew me?

Speaker 1 Was there a moment when you finally felt like the fear that being an actor wasn't going to work out was behind you?

Speaker 2 As I was walking onto the stage.

Speaker 1 That's cool. Now you feel like you've made it?

Speaker 2 No, I feel like I'm, you know, the imposter syndrome

Speaker 2 is flaring up.

Speaker 1 I'm going to run through a quick list of LA dog culture behaviors that I've observed and committed. And I'm going to need you to give us a quick thumbs up or thumbs down.
Are you ready?

Speaker 1 Letting your dog sleep in your bed.

Speaker 2 Oh, fuck yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Taking I have three very large dogs.

Speaker 2 And God help me when I get up to pee at night.

Speaker 2 My spot has been co-opted.

Speaker 1 I have a small golden doodle. I feel like you having three big dogs and me having one tiny little fag of a dog, I think that like

Speaker 1 tracks with our personalities.

Speaker 1 I don't know if she's gay.

Speaker 1 But the point is.

Speaker 2 She has a a doodle in her name.

Speaker 1 She is. She is a doodle.
She is a doodle. She's

Speaker 2 a doodle.

Speaker 1 Because listen,

Speaker 1 shop, don't adopt.

Speaker 1 It's important. Look, there's a lot, got to be careful.
Buy a dog.

Speaker 1 There's a lot, a lot going on in this world, but there's one thing you can do. Use your money to buy a dog that was made to be sold to you.

Speaker 1 I'm really

Speaker 1 I'm really gunning for a backlash tonight. I can't wait.
I can't wait yum yum yum. All right

Speaker 1 Next up taking your dog to a restaurant

Speaker 1 Yes, a thumbs up

Speaker 1 Taking your dog to work. It's a yes.

Speaker 1 I don't do this to be clear, but kissing your dog on the mouth.

Speaker 1 Thumbs up.

Speaker 1 Now,

Speaker 1 if there's one improvement Los Angeles could use this opportunity to make, what do you think it should be?

Speaker 1 What would you like to see change in Los Angeles that we're going to be in this period of rebuilding? We're going to be in this period of trying to figure out how to do things better. What bugs you?

Speaker 1 What would you like to see change?

Speaker 2 Non-staggered street light, traffic lights.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 You feel like you're getting jammed up.

Speaker 2 In New York, you know, like the light turns green, you start going,

Speaker 2 get halfway down the block, the next one turns green, the next one. And they kind of, I mean,

Speaker 2 not that that's health with New York traffic at all, but here they, there's, they're, these motherfuckers,

Speaker 2 these diabolical

Speaker 2 piece of shit motherfuckers,

Speaker 2 city fathers, motherfuckers.

Speaker 2 They sit there, you know, I'm sure that they're like eating something when they're just plotting. Like, how do we fuck

Speaker 2 the average motorist?

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 2 We'll have a light turn green, and then just as he's getting to the next street, red.

Speaker 2 And then that one turns green, and just as he's getting to the next street, red.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it sucks.

Speaker 1 Do you think that people have gotten meaner on the roads since you've been in LA?

Speaker 2 Oh shit, man.

Speaker 1 What's going on out there?

Speaker 2 This is nothing compared to what it's going to be like after January 20th. I mean, you talk about road rage, man.

Speaker 1 But it's interesting you make that connection.

Speaker 2 But the Democrats are going to be the ones

Speaker 2 pulling out fucking guns.

Speaker 1 What'd you say?

Speaker 2 I know this for a fact.

Speaker 1 I I do think people take their rage out there. They take, they excise it on the roads.
Like everyone's so nice and interpersonally. It's a nicer city than New York, just sort of kind of casually.

Speaker 1 There's a softness to the way people interact in Los Angeles, but not on the roads. On the roads, my goodness.

Speaker 2 Well, they think that they're in that car, and that makes them superhuman. And it's just so...

Speaker 2 Get out and walk toward one of them after they've done something really, really

Speaker 2 untoward.

Speaker 2 Their true self comes out really fast.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I'm not going to do that.

Speaker 2 All right, I'll do it. I'll do it.

Speaker 2 You can do it. You can do it.
I'll just start a service. I'll ride with you, and if somebody pisses you off, I'll go, I got this.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Hey,

Speaker 2 get out of the car. Let's talk.

Speaker 2 Come over here.

Speaker 2 Nice suit.

Speaker 1 It's intimidating. And it sort of works whether they recognize you or not.

Speaker 2 You're good either way. It doesn't matter.
How do you think I got these parts?

Speaker 2 Yeah, you're the tough.

Speaker 1 You're the muscle.

Speaker 2 That's right.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 I'm the muscle in this organization, see?

Speaker 2 Can we talk about David Lynch for a second? Yes.

Speaker 1 What do you want to say about David Lynch?

Speaker 2 I was talking to

Speaker 2 Langston.

Speaker 1 Langston, yeah.

Speaker 2 Who's about to come out? And

Speaker 2 he mentioned, you know, have you ever met David Lynch? Have you ever worked for David Lynch? I had dinner with David Lynch one night. And,

Speaker 2 you know,

Speaker 2 beautiful, beautiful man. But the thing I liked about him most is that when we got finished eating, he needed to go out and have a smoke.
Now, I still smoke.

Speaker 2 And there's something about smokers that really endear me.

Speaker 2 Like there's something about

Speaker 2 people who,

Speaker 2 I'm going to fucking die. I don't give a shit.
You know, I'm going to stick around here for, you know, like there's something about the non-preciousness of

Speaker 2 playing Russian roulette with your life that makes me trust you.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 that was like one of the things I truly loved about David Lynch until this morning when I went to

Speaker 2 chat GBT because nobody was listening his cause of death. And

Speaker 2 I wasn't up on what

Speaker 2 his

Speaker 2 last kind of health conditions were.

Speaker 2 It was emphysema.

Speaker 2 I don't know why I just laughed at that, but

Speaker 1 because it's sort of dramatic irony, in a sense.

Speaker 1 What do you think people get wrong about LA?

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 Anybody?

Speaker 1 Well, people think LA is people think of LA as a.

Speaker 2 What is it called when you call somebody because you don't?

Speaker 2 Phone a friend?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Can I phone a friend for that one?

Speaker 1 Well, what do you think? What do you, what is the thing that people

Speaker 1 that you came to love about LA that you didn't understand before you got here?

Speaker 2 The only thing that kept me in LA, there were two things that kept me in LA. Having grown up in New York,

Speaker 2 getting a parking spot,

Speaker 2 which is really important to me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 the weather.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 2 You know, here's the weird thing, I lived in Los Felis for 39 years and I didn't realize there was a theater right around the corner from me. And then I realized like

Speaker 2 how uncultured I am. Like how

Speaker 2 like for somebody who's like

Speaker 2 in culture. Should know better.
Right. You know.

Speaker 2 Sorry, man. I'm sorry.
No, this is good. It's turned pretty dark, hasn't it?

Speaker 1 That's the energy. It's fine.
You got to let the thing become what it is. You can't make something it's not, and you can't make something that it's not become something that it is.

Speaker 1 You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 This is the moment. I don't give a shit.

Speaker 14 Yeah, what do you care?

Speaker 2 I totally don't give a shit.

Speaker 2 Lifeline.

Speaker 2 What do people get wrong about LA? Somebody?

Speaker 1 They They think it's vapid. They think it's vapid.

Speaker 2 They think it's vapid. Well,

Speaker 2 did you ever

Speaker 2 give somebody a $10 bill for something that costs $382 and see how long it took them to make the change?

Speaker 1 It's fucking vapid here.

Speaker 1 When we come back,

Speaker 1 when we come back, Langston German.

Speaker 1 And so funny.

Speaker 13 Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

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Speaker 16 And we're back.

Speaker 1 Please welcome to the stage. It's Lancy Kerman.

Speaker 2 Yeah, okay,

Speaker 1 sure.

Speaker 2 Good to see you. Hello.
Come on in.

Speaker 1 Ron, okay.

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 1 Noticeably less applause for me than Ron Pearlman.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 No fuck faces. You can't fix it.

Speaker 1 Yeah, you can't fix it.

Speaker 1 You can't fix it.

Speaker 1 Hi, Langston. Hey.
It's good to see you.

Speaker 1 Have you had a moment where you said,

Speaker 1 oh, this is LA? I live in LA. I'm having an LA experience.
I had a really nice one today.

Speaker 1 I was coming back from my gym and I saw a man in a very full argument with his Waymo.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Like legit backseat yelling at the driver that is not there

Speaker 1 in the Waymo. I like,

Speaker 1 I know intellectually that ultimately driverless cars are safer than cars with drivers, that it will save lives, it will save pets' lives, like it is ultimately good.

Speaker 1 I know that on an intellectual level. And so, and I know that at some point I'm going to get into one of these fucking things, but I can't right now.
I just can't.

Speaker 1 Ron, have you ever been in a driverless car?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 Any interest?

Speaker 17 Are you? No.

Speaker 2 No. No.

Speaker 2 I have one of those cars that has that option, and I opted to. No, I'm a complete control freak, and

Speaker 2 I don't like relinquishing that kind of control

Speaker 2 on that level.

Speaker 1 Yeah, if you get in the back seat, the robots win, I say.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 We got to fight this, you know?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I guess it's like,

Speaker 1 I think the is that,

Speaker 2 oh,

Speaker 1 autonomous vehicles

Speaker 1 as a theoretical and actual practical way to get to safer streets and different ways of

Speaker 1 commuting and traveling, like that's a good thing, but it's hard to process that getting there is through

Speaker 1 Elon Musk's company or basically a business that wants to profit

Speaker 1 off of basically getting rid of taxi drivers. And it's like, that's that's our path makes me comfortable yeah I want a stinky man driving me around

Speaker 1 the way it's supposed to be you know what I mean yeah a guy who's mean to his family and then I and then he gives me a ride and and we bond over something trivial it really that's what it's all about and you get to guess what he just ate for lunch come on

Speaker 1 yeah there's a lot of smells in here but one of them was lunch

Speaker 1 It is an interesting thing about getting into a car with a person that's been in that car all day, which is sometimes the smell is not B.O., but not not B.O. It's B.O.
adjacent. It's one step over.

Speaker 1 It's a clean car, but there's been B.O. here.
Yeah. You know, like, what's the AQI in these fucking cars?

Speaker 1 Nobody's studying that. Not coming up on the mom text chain, is it?

Speaker 1 Step up, science, if you really want to do something.

Speaker 1 science got to step up

Speaker 1 gentlemen it's only the second full week of January but it feels like it's been 2025 for an eternity so much non-file wildfire news has happened and I'm gonna quiz you about it right now in a game we're calling La La Learn

Speaker 2 I can't tell if I'm Emma Stone or

Speaker 2 Ryan Gosling.

Speaker 1 I think that's two Ryan Goslings.

Speaker 2 I think it's two Ryan Goslings.

Speaker 1 Oh, Because that's what I see in my mind when I watch the movie.

Speaker 1 I didn't realize until this moment that Emma Stone was in it.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 1 First question for you, Langston. Thanks to a $27 million grant from the Biden administration, three more trains will run per day between Los Angeles and what city?

Speaker 2 I'm hearing.

Speaker 1 I'm hearing very rude whispers from people who don't presume that I know things. Thank Thank you.

Speaker 1 The answer is San Diego.

Speaker 1 Thank you to the racists in the audience that assume Langston didn't know that.

Speaker 1 Thanks.

Speaker 1 You showed them just. That's right.

Speaker 2 See what happens when you yell an answer up.

Speaker 1 You want to be anti-Semitic next?

Speaker 2 Because I have a question for Ron.

Speaker 1 Ron Berlman, Los Angelinos are currently planning their celebrations for Lunar New Year, which kicks off on January 29th and runs through February 16th.

Speaker 1 According to the Chinese Zodiac, what is the official animal for 2025?

Speaker 2 The scorpion.

Speaker 1 So, so close.

Speaker 1 Want to steal, Langston?

Speaker 1 Let's go, tiger. It's a snake.

Speaker 2 Damn.

Speaker 2 Nice.

Speaker 2 All right. It's a snake.

Speaker 1 All right, Langston, over to you.

Speaker 1 Which director allegedly walked out of the Golden Globes held at Los Angeles's breathtaking Beverly Hilton Hotel after his film was snubbed for best motion picture, musical, or comedy, an award which, in surprise upsets, went to Amelia Perez.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's easy. Tyler Perry

Speaker 1 wasn't Tyler Perry. It wasn't Tyler Perry.
He said, Medea goes to jail, too, should be the champion.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Do you know who it was, Ron?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 1 It was

Speaker 2 James Mangold.

Speaker 1 No, it was Challenger's director Luca Guadangino.

Speaker 2 Oh. Guadan Gino.

Speaker 1 Guadanino. Luca Guadanino.
Say it three times fast. Luca Guadanino.
And we have a clip.

Speaker 18 Luca Guadanino leaves the Beverly Hilton ballroom after rival film Emilia Peresque is named Golden Globe's best picture musical or comedy over Guadanino's Challengers.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I love that.

Speaker 1 Can I say I do really like that? Like walking out? Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah, me too.

Speaker 1 I think

Speaker 1 there's a competitive nature to this that we don't acknowledge. Of like people do get their feelings hurt and then they have to sit there and smile and pretend like everything's okay.

Speaker 1 And I like a dude throwing a little tantrum in a shiny shirt.

Speaker 2 Yeah, I agree with that. Yeah, I agree with that.
Ron, what do you think? And he said, Vafanculo, as you walk.

Speaker 2 I'm Luca Guadagino. Vafanculo.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 7 Elos Iwin.

Speaker 1 That was fun.

Speaker 2 It was like I was in that movie.

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think it's also, I want to see Amelia Perez, but the clips, holy shit.

Speaker 1 I am excited.

Speaker 2 Have you seen it?

Speaker 1 It's so bad. Wait, what?

Speaker 2 Oh my god, where am I?

Speaker 1 Wait, did you see it?

Speaker 2 My favorite movie of the year. Hell yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's right. That's right.

Speaker 1 Ron Perlman loved it. And you didn't get it

Speaker 1 You probably thought Mulholland Drive was confusing too.

Speaker 1 One of those people who thinks Twin Peaks didn't wrap it up correctly. Because you didn't think.

Speaker 1 You must have missed a culture.

Speaker 1 I didn't get it.

Speaker 1 Next up.

Speaker 1 Did you really like it or have you not seen it?

Speaker 2 Favorite movie of the year. Really? Whoa.
That's cool. By far.

Speaker 1 Wow. Interesting.
That makes me twice as excited that I get to watch this movie that people on the internet hate and that Ron Perlman loves because I can't go wrong.

Speaker 2 Yeah. Yeah.

Speaker 1 But I don't know. I don't trust them.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I don't trust these people.

Speaker 1 They're also downloading an app called The Little Red Book because TikTok's going to go away and it's like out of the frying pan, you know?

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 I didn't see it. I don't know.

Speaker 2 I got no take.

Speaker 1 Next up. All right.
True or false, Langston. In a recent viral video, police can be seen dragging a thrashing coyote out of an Aldi's produce aisle in the Los Angeles area.

Speaker 2 Oh, that's true.

Speaker 1 It's false. It was in Chicago.
Oh, but it feels like it should have been here. Damn.
I didn't know

Speaker 1 we had coyotes in Chicago. Yeah, at least one.
Oh, no.

Speaker 1 It was a trick question. Fuck.
Can we have the clip?

Speaker 2 Watch out, guys. Watch out.

Speaker 2 Oh, wait a sec.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 This is nice because he goes back in. Wow.
You guys cut it off, but he jumps right back in the freezer, and then they have to figure it out again.

Speaker 1 You know, they're wily.

Speaker 2 Ron, that's the thing about him.

Speaker 1 Ron, do you ever have run-ins with coyotes in the neighborhood?

Speaker 2 All the time.

Speaker 1 What's your

Speaker 2 favorite movie of the year?

Speaker 2 Thought he might have been. Run-in with coyotes.

Speaker 1 What's your stance towards the coyotes? Friend, foe?

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 man, no. I mean, you know,

Speaker 2 there's a part of me that thinks that I can domesticate them.

Speaker 2 Whoa. That you'll be the one.
You'll be the one. But then there's a part of me that

Speaker 2 thinks I can't.

Speaker 2 That's fair.

Speaker 2 I have dogs. They come after my dogs, and

Speaker 2 it gets very gnarly.

Speaker 1 Yeah, they're apparently the only predator that pretends to be your friend before they kill something.

Speaker 2 No,

Speaker 2 you know,

Speaker 2 there's honor in the animal kingdom. Yeah.
Unless you're a coyote.

Speaker 2 They don't.

Speaker 1 They don't respect it, the rules of the kingdom.

Speaker 2 They're duplicitous motherfuckers. Yeah.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Not a good episode for coyotes, this one.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 7 It's a weird show sometimes.

Speaker 1 Your audience turns on you so much.

Speaker 2 I know.

Speaker 1 I know. I know.

Speaker 2 You have built no rapport with them.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 No, but I'll turn on them too. Yeah.

Speaker 1 Because next week, there'll just be another group of nameless, faceless people right where you're sitting.

Speaker 1 You're a tool to me.

Speaker 1 Langston.

Speaker 1 If you're like me, wait, who went last question? I went to last question.

Speaker 1 Ron, if you're like me, you've been keeping up with the complaint made by Blake Lively against It Ends With Me Director Justin Baldoni.

Speaker 1 Which of the following is not an actual rule of conduct that Lively asked Baldoni to abide by based on his alleged behavior on set? Just to note, Blake Lively is referred to as BL in the list.

Speaker 1 So this is a Blake Lively had a list of demands. The Baldoni agreed to them.
Which of the following was not on the list?

Speaker 2 MM, blue MMs. Oh, buckle up.

Speaker 1 A, no more pressing by Mr. Baldoni to sage any of Blake Lively's employees.

Speaker 1 B, no more private multi-hour meetings in Blake Lively's trailer with Mr. Baldoni crying with no outside Blake Lively appointed representative to monitor.
C, no more inquiries by Mr.

Speaker 1 Baldoni to Blake Lively's trainer without her knowledge or consent to disclose her weight. Or D, no more mention by Mr.
Baldoni, quote, speaking to Blake Lively's dead father, end quote.

Speaker 2 Or E, all of the above. It's all of the above.

Speaker 1 That is such a funny list of things to have to ask someone to stop doing.

Speaker 1 Can you believe that? Do you know that? None of you know that, right? None of you know that. Gotta read the complaint.
Gotta get in there. Gotta read the actual complaint.

Speaker 1 Which, based on my defamation training, is a public legal document that I'm allowed to refer to.

Speaker 1 What a funny thing to

Speaker 1 give a man an award for being a champion of women.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 2 No, I know.

Speaker 1 Darlai is our best guy.

Speaker 1 He's number one.

Speaker 1 He hosts a feminist podcast. Yeah.
Ah, twist.

Speaker 2 There's a twist. Fun game.
Hollywood. Was it all of the above?

Speaker 1 Those were all in the document that Blake Lively.

Speaker 1 could you do me a favor and read the first one again about saging yes no more pressing by mr baldoni to sage any of blake lively's employees so he was i guess asking to sage people which is just not his ritual you know what i mean

Speaker 1 how up are you on sage politics not up enough

Speaker 1 get informed

Speaker 2 get educated

Speaker 1 langston yeah and finally former reality star and would-be pop pop DV Heidi Montague saw her 15-year album hit number one on the iTunes chart, beating out the new Bad Bunny EP after her husband Spencer Pratt asked fans to please stream her single, I'll do it, to help the couple financially after the loss of their home in the California wildfires.

Speaker 1 To either of you, what is the name of that 2010 Heidi Montag album?

Speaker 2 Nobody's gonna know this.

Speaker 1 Ron, you must have, you must know it.

Speaker 2 Was it the Connie Francis story?

Speaker 1 So close.

Speaker 2 Do you want to steal Langston?

Speaker 2 I'll pass.

Speaker 1 It was superficial and you can stream it today because they lost their house. All right.
Well, that was a.

Speaker 1 I like that. That's how much y'all feel for Heidi Monte.

Speaker 1 Just one lady going, uh.

Speaker 2 Were you the one that didn't like Amelia Perez?

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 1 One more time. Thank you to Ron Perlman.

Speaker 2 Thank you to Lyson Kerman.

Speaker 1 We'll be right back.

Speaker 13 Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.

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Speaker 6 And we're back.

Speaker 1 All right, like I mentioned at the top of the show, Crooked's friends at Vote Save America Action and Crooked Ideas have set up a disaster relief fund to benefit those impacted by these horrible wildfires here in Los Angeles.

Speaker 1 It's very easy to make one donation that's split among incredible charities doing critical work for our neighbors and first responders.

Speaker 1 Thanks to you, we have already raised nearly $200,000 for these great groups so far, and you can learn more and make a tax-deductible donation at votesaveamerica.com/slash relief.

Speaker 1 We really appreciate if you've donated.

Speaker 1 So, go to votesaveamerica.com/slash relief.

Speaker 1 Also, this week, OnAssembly required our show with Stacey Abrams.

Speaker 1 As Republicans and all these opportunistic freaks claim that DEI is the cause of all of our problems, this week, Stacey Abrams and NYU law professor Kenji Yoshino tackle the myths, legal arguments, and share why DEI hasn't been the problem.

Speaker 1 It's a solution. You can tune in to this great episode now on the Assembly Required feed.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 1 Here we are in our beautiful, slightly chart city, which has seen obviously better days. But while first responders work to extinguish the fires, our love for the city burns brighter and fiercer.

Speaker 1 Much like Sabrina Carpenter's official $23 Erewhon Smoothie, LA is a delicious combination of flavors, protein, and things that sound nice but do nothing.

Speaker 1 And tonight on the show, I would like to invite you to share what you love about this town in a segment we're calling I Love in LA.

Speaker 1 All right, so let's bring the lights up.

Speaker 1 If you have a favorite restaurant or culture, quirk, or LA story that you'd like to share, just raise your hand and our producer, Chris, will come find you.

Speaker 1 Also, if you like the design of this graphic, not with my face though, if you like the design of this graphic, you can buy it as a shirt from the crooked store. There it is.

Speaker 1 100% of the proceeds go to the disaster relief fund. So if donating isn't your thing, this is technically intentional shopping.

Speaker 1 So win, win. All right.
Who out there? Just a quick something you love about LA, something very LA that happened to you.

Speaker 1 Ryan Gosling changed your tire. Ryan Geisland hit your car, whatever it is.
We got one right over here. We can go right there.
Her hand went up, went up with confidence.

Speaker 19 I moved here during the pandemic and we were just walking around a neighborhood to have something to do out of the apartment.

Speaker 19 And there's this really beautiful house and my friend that was walking with me, she's lived in LA for decades. And she was like, oh, I think I know someone who like did the garden on this house.

Speaker 19 And she was showing it to us. And the owners were like, hey, we're home.
And my husband's an architect and he built this house. Do you want to come inside and get a tour? We were like, okay.

Speaker 19 And we went inside and it was like the most beautiful, like, unexpected like avant-garde house that I've ever heard of. And I looked the guy up and he was like a famous architect.

Speaker 19 And so I was just like, oh, I guess I'm just going to walk around a neighborhood and get a personal tour of this incredible home by a famous architect.

Speaker 20 Okay. That never happened to me anywhere else.
That's great.

Speaker 1 Well, I think it is something, there's something about like

Speaker 1 other cities,

Speaker 1 they have a design style or

Speaker 1 a look or a culture that you see in its architecture.

Speaker 2 But in LA, people come here from all over,

Speaker 1 and you can see in a lot of the houses that people came here with an idea of either what LA would be or what they would be.

Speaker 1 And so, you can walk down a street in Los Angeles, and there'll be houses of every different kind. There'll be like a strange gothic house next to a Spanish bungalow, next to an ultra-modern home.

Speaker 1 That's the flip side to the idea of LA being a transient place where no one's from here, which is obviously not true. But that

Speaker 1 there is a feeling here, like

Speaker 1 you know, New York, it's if you, if you make it here, you can make it anywhere. It's like, well, fuck you.
Like,

Speaker 1 why is New York's like,

Speaker 1 like, kind of cultural slogan a dare, right?

Speaker 1 And I think what's that LA is more like kind of spiritually welcoming. And people,

Speaker 1 I think that's an unspoken thing people appreciate about it, that it's understood that you came here from somewhere with a very difficult thing to do that you may not ever do.

Speaker 1 But it's good that you're here to try.

Speaker 1 And I, and that's, I think, why like all these stories every once in a while about like LA being over, it's like, okay, you think this is the first time that people have said LA's golden age is over?

Speaker 1 Have you not seen Sunset Boulevard?

Speaker 1 Not on Broadway, because it's kind of a mess.

Speaker 1 Hi, Betsy. Hi, John.

Speaker 21 I love how dog-friendly Los Angeles is. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 2 I like that too.

Speaker 21 You can take your dogs into Trader Joe's.

Speaker 22 You can take them into restaurants.

Speaker 21 Nobody cares.

Speaker 1 Yeah, nobody cares. You're not supposed to take the dog into the Trader Joe's.

Speaker 1 In a sense, that's also an argument for how you can rob banks anywhere.

Speaker 1 Somebody else?

Speaker 22 We were like recently walking down the street in Highland Park and ran into like a kind of famous Napo baby, and she ended up giving us her French bulldog puppy and

Speaker 22 a super expensive dog pull French bulldog puppy that we're obsessed with and we named him Goblin and he's perfect.

Speaker 1 First of all, love that.

Speaker 1 There's something funny about LA too when it comes to the Nepo babies and it's this...

Speaker 1 Everyone's allowed to make fun of the Nepo babies and root against the Nepo babies, but everyone's goal is to come to LA,

Speaker 1 become so successful that if you have children, those children will have your advantages.

Speaker 1 Everyone comes here to make Nepo babies.

Speaker 1 That's the dream. You come here and you hate the Nepo babies.
Your dream is to love a Nepo baby more than anything else on earth.

Speaker 1 Can't make sense of it. You just simply can't.

Speaker 23 I live in Pasadena and my neighborhood was affected by the fires. We lost about 13 homes about one block north of my house.

Speaker 23 But the thing that I'm loving is that my neighborhoods come together, and I met some neighbors who live across the street.

Speaker 20 I've always loved their house.

Speaker 23 And

Speaker 23 the woman who lives there is the head of the Altadena Seed Library. And so you may have seen some stuff about her online.

Speaker 23 And discovering that she was doing this awesome thing, and the seed library was burned down. And so she's collecting seeds.
So I gave her all the seeds that I had. And she came over to say thank you.

Speaker 23 And I mentioned to her that Hannah Einbinder had reposted some of her stuff.

Speaker 2 And she said, oh my God, I love her.

Speaker 23 So just that kind of weird conglomeration of celebrity culture, but also helping the community, but also our neighborhood coming together in the face of this immense tragedy is

Speaker 23 amazing. So I'm so glad to I love my neighborhood and that's beautiful.

Speaker 1 How many seeds did you have?

Speaker 2 Not enough.

Speaker 1 Right. Presumably it's a seed library.
Do you have one of each?

Speaker 1 How bad of a, is this like when the Alexandria burned down? None of these were in danger. It isn't like the seed vault in Svalbard, I assume.

Speaker 23 I don't know about that, but she's trying to help reseed urban lawns with native plants that are less likely to burn.

Speaker 1 Oh, I like that. I like that.

Speaker 20 I like that you can get fresh fruit from a fruit cart in any part of the city whenever you want. And it's the freshest fruit you've ever had.
And it's better than any fruit in the grocery store.

Speaker 20 And it's between $6 to $12, depending on where you are, for the same-size fruit.

Speaker 1 I love that too.

Speaker 2 I love that too.

Speaker 17 So I love movies, and I love, you know, just all of the theaters here, all the repertory ones, the 12 AMCs in Burbank and stuff.

Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 The 6, the 8, the 9, the 12, the 15, 16.

Speaker 17 Yeah, yeah. And I love that, you know, you can just like go to a screening and like randomly there will be the director there like doing a QA afterwards and stuff.

Speaker 17 Like, I've seen Guillermo del Toro three random times in QA's afterwards. One of them, unpopular opinion, but was after

Speaker 17 Amelia Perez, which was a very good movie.

Speaker 3 Hell yeah.

Speaker 2 Wait a second, wait a second, wait a second.

Speaker 1 I want you. Keep the mic.
Keep the mic. Hold on.

Speaker 1 Can everybody who has seen Amelia Perez applaud?

Speaker 1 Do everyone who has a positive review applaud?

Speaker 1 Everyone who fucking hated it, applaud.

Speaker 1 That's a good movie. That's a good movie.
That's a good movie. It's either going to be great or it failed while daring greatly.
And I'm excited to find out. I'm excited to find out.
Go on, sir.

Speaker 17 Well, that was about it. But one more unpopular opinion is: I don't like dogs at Trader Joe's.

Speaker 2 So it's not everybody. There's one of me.

Speaker 1 Los Angeles is a city of contrasts.

Speaker 24 Hi, I think I'm Ron Perlman's dead aunt, who's staring right at me.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 1 So that was a big part of your night. That's a big part of your night.
I get that, yep.

Speaker 24 I saw David Lynch in the wild once, and it was at the Hollywood Arclight. So rest in peace to two Hollywood legends.

Speaker 2 Yep, that's right.

Speaker 1 That's right. Capitalism took what fire couldn't with the arc light.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 1 I still don't get why the arc light closed, by the way. Made it do the whole fucking thing.
Then I was like, ah, we're out. What the fuck? We're right near the end.
I want the arc light back.

Speaker 1 What's going on in that dome? Nothing?

Speaker 2 I can't see the mic. Oh, hi.
Over here.

Speaker 20 Hi. This is just a silly LA story.

Speaker 20 When I first moved here, I was cruising Facebook Marketplace a lot for furniture for my house. And I found a listing for a eight feet tall, 250-pound gorilla lawn ornament.

Speaker 20 And I showed the listing to my husband and we agreed that we needed it. So we went to this guy's house and there it was in his front lawn, this eight feet tall gorilla.

Speaker 20 And he showed us a tour of the rest of his house. He had some couches for sale as well and lots of other random lawn ornaments.

Speaker 20 And he told us that he bought his first gorilla eight years ago and he had it in his back. yard.
And he showed us that to see how it aged over the eight years.

Speaker 20 And he was like, well, I have one for my backyard. Now I need one for my front yard.
And he got one for his front yard, and then this just became a rotating gorilla for him.

Speaker 20 And now it's like his side hustle that he will get this gorilla and he loves having it for the time that he has it until he sells it. And then he gets another gorilla, and this just became his side.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry, so I guess he's making it on volume.

Speaker 2 What are you talking about?

Speaker 1 What is the business? He buys them, and then people pass by and buy them from him.

Speaker 20 Yeah, he lists them on marketplace, and then he just like

Speaker 20 makes a couple hundred dollars on them.

Speaker 2 He flips them exactly.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Good for him.

Speaker 20 So this is what I love about LA.

Speaker 1 That's what you love about LA.

Speaker 1 I will do one and then we got a we got a call tonight. But I remember when I moved to LA

Speaker 1 and I had I moved here. I didn't know anything about Los Angeles.
And I was working so hard as a speechwriter. It's hard to believe now, but it was true.
I was working very hard and wearing a suit.

Speaker 1 And then I left to come out to LA and I like, so I sold a script and that allowed me to come out here, which was a very fortunate thing that doesn't happen.

Speaker 1 I felt I was like a crazy thing, but I didn't know what I was doing. And so I'm like freaking out and I write a pilot, which I've never done before.

Speaker 1 And again, like that becomes a show called 1600 Penn.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I get to, and, and

Speaker 1 I'm living out here for years.

Speaker 1 I would say that my writing career had its ups. And then the other thing that happens,

Speaker 1 I can't remember what they're called, the opposite of ups.

Speaker 1 And then we start, and years go by, and I'm like learning about the city and making the city, but then we start this podcast. And somehow, because of the podcast, I end up at a very fancy party.

Speaker 1 And it's the kind of party where there's like a lot of celebrities. And I, and Josh Gadd, who I worked with on 600 Pen on that one perfect season, is at this party.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 2 he

Speaker 1 introduces me to Rachel McAdams and he says Rachel this is John Lovett he hosts pod save america and she doesn't know what that is and Josh Gad says it's a podcast and it he might as well have said like he's a proud boy you know it's like

Speaker 1 Like like it like, you know, like he builds model trains like it like it was so not it was just like

Speaker 1 It was so the opposite of what she wanted to hear in that moment with all love and no disrespect. Totally appreciate it.
It was a very funny interaction.

Speaker 1 And then Josh, realizing that it's not that he didn't, he goes, No, no, like Rachel, it's very popular.

Speaker 2 And she's like, oh, how popular in a sweet way, how popular?

Speaker 1 And I was like, how popular? I'm at this party.

Speaker 1 Do you see any other podcast hosts here?

Speaker 1 And that's our show.

Speaker 1 Thanks to everybody coming out.

Speaker 1 Go to votesaveamerica.com/slash relief. We'll be a dynasty typewriter next week.
Thanks to Ron Perlman and Langston Kerman for being here. There are 654 dates until the 2026 midterms.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's right. The house.
When you're thinking to yourself all is lost, you remember that we can win the house. When you think, oh my God, does anything matter?

Speaker 1 Remember that there are Republicans in vulnerable districts and we can win the house. It's not going to be easy, but we're going to fight and win the house.
654 days till the 2026 midterms.

Speaker 1 Have a great night. Thank you for coming out.
Hang in there. Thank you very much.

Speaker 2 Have a great weekend.

Speaker 1 Love It or Leave It is a crooked media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg.
Kendra James is our executive producer. Chris Lord is our producer.

Speaker 1 and Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer, Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mohanad El Shiki are our writers.

Speaker 1 Evan Sutton is our editor, Kyle Seglund and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Cologne is our audio engineer, and Milo Kim is our videographer.

Speaker 1 Our theme song is written and performed by SureSure.

Speaker 1 Thanks to our designer Bernardo Cerna for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital producers, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroote for filming and editing video each week so you can.

Speaker 1 It's love it or leave it.

Speaker 25 If you love crispy bacon, if you love spicy pepperoni, if you love saucy ribs, then you'll love the flavor in every bite of pork.

Speaker 24 Taste what pork can do.

Speaker 25 This message was brought to you by America's Pig Farmers.

Speaker 14 Now's the time to start your next adventure behind the wheel of an exciting new Toyota hybrid.

Speaker 3 With the largest lineup of hybrid, plug-in hybrid, and electrified vehicles to choose from, Toyota has the one for you.

Speaker 12 Every new Toyota hybrid comes with Toyota Care, two-year complementary scheduled maintenance, an exclusive hybrid battery warranty, and Toyota's legendary quality and reliability.

Speaker 6 Visit Visit your local Toyota dealer today, Toyota. Let's go places.
See your local Toyota dealer for hybrid battery warranty details.