Lovett or Leave It: For Good

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Welcome, everybody, to our annual Love It or Leave It Best of episode. As another perfect, peaceful year gracefully swan dives to a close, it's time to look back fondly on the most perfect moments of them all.
And if you can believe it, all the greatest hits of 2024 happened on this very show. Well, okay.
JD Vance trying to order donuts was pretty good, and I did like Wicked. But that's it.
The exceptions prove the rule. Let's get into it.
Up first, one of our favorite guests of all time, the one, the only, the legendary T.S. Madison joins me as we put the gab in LGBTQIA during our Pride Month stop in Asheville.
We also put in bag, guilt, glib. Wow, you can make a lot of words out of this.
While I find some more, please enjoy this hilarious segment. Okay, there's also at, there's tail, and then you get to bait.
Move over, Taylor Swift. There's only one T.S.
I care about, and she's here tonight. Please put your hands together for the one, the only, T.S.
Madison. Oh, yes, honey.
Oh, yes. Oh, yes, baby.
Hey. Oh, my goodness.
North Carolina, y'all make some noise in here. Oh, my God.
Good to see you. Hi.
Come on. Oh, my goodness.
All right. No, no.
Y'all ain't make enough noise. Make some noise in this motherfucker for me.
Who? I came all the way from Atlanta, Georgia. From Atlanta.
From Atlanta. Atlanta, Georgia.
Recently. Yes.
You talked to IndieWire about wanting to see trans superheroes. Yes.
And trans villains. Who's your favorite trans villain, real or fictional? I admit that in the past I've been a nasty.
They want kidding when they call me, well, a witch. You know, it's Ursula is is what i didn't know why i loved ursula when i was a little boy i fucking loved ursula was it her tentacles yes perhaps it was but i think because oh i just i just think, I think Ursula knew I was gay before I did.
Of course, darling, of course. You know? Yes.
And then, you know, she was a fish, you know? You know, we love fish. And misunderstood.
So here's the thing. I think that Ursula is disney villain and i'm i'm hoping that um they create a backstory on her like they did a maleficent's backstory and so i would love to see the backstory on that yes yeah absolutely because who knows what's going on down there? He's a very patriarchal father.
It's a royal system. Just once at the end of one of these Disney movies, I would like the stories leading to the prince and the princess are going to kiss and be happily ever after.
But right before they kiss, a group of people with pitchforks come in and kill them and say, we're a and we're gonna have a fucking election like they don't get to live in the castle anymore this man doesn't get to go from house to house putting shoes on people's feet that's no way to run a fucking bake sale you know like what are we doing here like her only hope is that a guy likes her fucking feet And that's a good, that's one of the good ones. Wait a minute.
Hold on, John. I'm into feet.
If you got a pretty big toe, I may write you a check. And I but my point being and I think that that's a beautiful And, you know, don't want to yuck your yum at all.

Are you not into feet?

You're not into feet?

I would say that I am sort of feet.

They're there.

You know, I don't hate them.

I don't love them.

They're just part of the body.

You know?

No, the feet can be so orgasm.

What?

Is it orgasmic?

If that's the word you want.

Yeah.

That.

You know, if you put a foot like right under your nose like this. If that's the word you want.
Yeah. That.

You know, if you put a foot like right under your nose like this.

Sure.

And you just absorb all of that.

Can I get a towel? Madison. Yes.
It's important for all of us, queer and heterosexual alike, to understand that we are part of history and as students of queer history, or at least someone who had the stonewall reader covered in dust on my nightstand for a while. We want to use the opportunity to catch up on the recent scuttlebutt in a segment we're calling Four Score and Seven Queers Ago.
Okay, come on. Oh! Wait a minute, hold on.
Oh my God! There we are. I look good up there, damn it.
Yeah. Yes.
Four score and seven queers ago.

I feel as though your statue is good and my head is too high up. My neck looks weird.
Well, are you getting any complaints about your head? You just, you just, you just you just you can't even look at me you can't even look at me because of how you fuck that up no complaints no complaints is that what you were looking That's what I was looking for. Yes.
So here's how this works. We are going to go.
That's so funny. Have you received any complaints about your head? That's not how it goes.
Yes. I want to know.
Has anybody went to HR about your head? Moving forward. Okay.
Here's how this works we're gonna rate very recent moments in queer history on a scale from one to eight one being the least to eight being the most historic because eight is the gayest number are you ready i am first up june 10th 2024 leaked audio of martha annito, wife of Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito, hit the internet. Here she describes a flag she wants to fly as a protest against the pride flag.
I made a flag in my head. This is how I satisfy myself.
I made a flag. It's white, and it's yellow and orange flames around it.
And in the middle is the word vergogna. Vergogna in Italian means shame.

Vergogna.

V-E-R-G-O-G-N-A.

Vergogna.

Shame, shame, shame on you.

You know.

Anyway.

I just, just for...

You know, I've always wanted a vergogna.

Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.
They come, you know. Always.
I've always wanted a Vergonia. Yeah.
Vergonia in spring. Yeah.
In the spring. In a bathing suit.
A nice Vergonia. So what would you rank it? It's one to eight.
How historic is it? Oh, it? Oh, it's like a five. Yeah, I think it's a five.
Listen, I'll forget about a vergonia by the time I leave here, honey. The alcohol is going to be five.
Yeah. May 29th, 2024.
Pope Francis apologizes for using an Italian slur against gay men when asked whether the church should admit said gay men in a private meeting with Italian bishops. Uh, and wait, they're gay men in private meetings with bishops.
Uh, I think there's more than, I think there's a fair number, which is, I think what the Pope was commenting on. And I know this is not the word, but, and I, and I, I'm sorry, but ever since I can only imagine the Pope going Faggaccini.
Yes! And I know that's not right. Faggaccini, vergognia.
And then it's like, hey, we're serving a little too much Faggaccini Alfredo at the fucking Vatican. Faggaccini Alfredo.
And I know he's not even Italian. He's Argentinian.
But still, it's Faggaccini Alfredo. Faggaccini Alfredo with a side of vagonia.
And then he apologized, but he used the slur again. And he said, there's an air of Fraggaccini in the Vatican.
I guess the word is Fraggagin? I don't know. Faggaccini.
Faggaccini. Faggagin? Faggagin? What do you think? Pope saying that? Well, I mean, of course that's going to be somewhere near an eight because it's the Pope.
It is the Pope. It's the Pope saying that.
I think it's like a seven. Like a seven.
Because that's the Pope saying that. It's the Pope.
The Pope. He's the friggin' Pope.
Yeah. Friggini.
Vergonia.

Faggachini.

I'm getting hungry.

Well, that lady has some good vergonia over there, honey.

They serve it fried or baked at the orange peel. Bartender, can you give me that fried vergonya from back there, please? And give me a side of faggagini sauce, goddammit.
T.S. Madison, thank you so, so much.
Thank y'all for having me. Thank you.
In March, the incredible Busy Phillips visited the show to answer a very important question. What is a woman?

And if you think conservatives aren't obsessed with that question now, just wait till you've had four more years of Trump in the White House. Okay.
We'll deal with that one day at a time. One day at a time.
Anyway, while I collect myself, enjoy. Busy, in the new season of Girls 5 Eva, your character sings an amazing song called Is There a Me or Is Me Just Guys? A question I have asked myself so many times since I was 14 years old.
Well, is there a me or is me just guys? John. Yeah? There is a me.
And it's mostly guys now inspired by that song we wanted to see if you could definitively answer the question conservatives have been asking for almost a decade which is what is a woman what is a woman what is a woman first question is a woman a human who believes in horoscopes? Mostly. Hmm.
Yeah. True.
Do you think that... Tell me.
Tell me. Well, here's the problem I have.
What do you have? Talk to me, John. The problem I have is every time someone says...
Every time I say, oh, horoscopes are silly, then someone says, what are you? And then I say, I'm a Leo. And they say, oh.
Of course you are. I mean, literally, have you ever met more of a fucking Leo? This is the problem.
What? When I say I'm a Cancer, and then I'm like, but Leo rising, people are like, now it all makes sense. So interesting.
I don't know. Is the tide affected by the moon? Yes.
It's all water. The tide is affected by the moon.
But we're like mostly fucking water and we're affected by the moon. I'm sorry.
We just are. The planets do a thing.
It happens. I don't know.
Is that how it got? That's what it's doing? It's the tides. Honey.
Is that what it is? Honey, I bleed on a full moon. I ovulate on a new moon every fucking month since I was 12.
I had to think. I had to think.
I couldn't remember. But that's it.
Is a woman a being who is looking forward to beyonce's new album cowboy carter are you kidding me yes also everyone who isn't producer kendra today uh was i i we i came in and i said hello and she did not clock it at all and i said hey how are you nothing and then i startled her and then she took out her airpods and she's like i'm listening to the album. And I was like, but it's not out yet.
She's like, it's you? Nothing. And then I startled her and then she took out her AirPods and she was like, I'm listening to the album.

And I was like,

but it's not out yet.

She's like,

it's out in Australia.

I have a VPN.

Is a woman an animal who feels like she's ready

to move from body positivity

to body neutrality? I'm so fucking over it. Over it.
Give me fucking Ozempic. I like don't care.
I didn't create the fucking problem. No.
We all live with it. We're not changing it.
Everyone go fuck themselves. Sorry.
All these motherfuckers have been on HGH forever. I never saw one fucking Time Magazine cover about it.
I'm sorry. They were on HGH? No, the men.
Oh, the men were on HGH. Is that how they become superheroes? That's how all the fucking movie stars have been so fit after age 40.
What do you think has happened? They're on drugs. And then all of a sudden ozempic comes along and people are like oh that's a fucking big deal like we can't have that like what in god's name do you think has been happening it's all oh god people hate women so much it's like we didn't create this system that we live in and anyone who has anyone in their family who deals with obesity or who has been struggled or had morbid obesity themselves knows that you are treated differently, that your job prospects are different, that the entire culture is built around shaming and being horrible, especially to women who are overweight.
So I don't give a fuck about body pause or body neutrality. Let people just fucking live, but we can't do that.
So now there's a miracle drug. These are miracle drugs that come in and like, let people fucking have it without shame.
I'm just sorry. I'm so sick of it because I'm so fucking sick of it all.
Like I can't, a woman is a person who is fed the fuck up. I will just answer that.
And that is like, I'm done. I'm on my jar, but it's hard to get cause the diabetics keep taking it.
And it's like, so I kind of have to like spread out my doses because these sugar weenies need it medically. I've had a moment.
I've had a day. I've had a week.
It's been a long time here in Los Angeles. These past nine days.
It's fine. Everything's great.
Things are going to be fine. Don't worry about it.
You and I can talk about it later. Can't wait.
Busy Phillips, everybody. Girls Vibes of a Season 3 is out now on Netflix.
In January, Rob Reiner, the Hollywood icon behind films like Stand By Me, The Princess Bride, and When Harry Met Sally, shared his thoughts about his incredible oeuvre and about polyamory.

Spoiler alert, he loves it.

Just kidding.

He has exactly the thoughts you'd think that Rob Reiner would have.

And God, he's funny about it.

So take a listen.

I wanted to ask, I'm just so excited to have you.

And there's so many.

You look excited.

Tell your face.

What the fuck? Hey, for the audio listener, I'm fucking beaming to have you. You look excited.
Tell your face. What the fuck?

Hey, for the audio listener, I'm fucking beaming.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm beaming.

I'm electric.

I'm fully fucking clicked in.

Ear to ear.

I'm so close to you.

I know.

I know.

I'm getting a chubby.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Here's the thing.

People say the secret doesn't work.

It works. You got to manifest.
People say the secret doesn't work. It works.

You got to manifest.

You got to manifest.

All right.

Who had more chemistry, Demi Moore and Tom Cruise

or Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal?

Who and Tom Cruise?

Demi Moore.

Demi Moore and Tom Cruise.

Well, you know, they don't have sex in the movie.

Yeah, I know.

And a lot of people said to me,

I don't understand.

You have this beautiful girl, beautiful guy.

Why don't you get them together?

I said, because this movie's not about that.

This movie's about a guy who has never tested himself

in a courtroom because his father was a great lawyer.

And again, I made a connection with my father

having been a tremendous success

and the son coming on the heels. It was not a sex thing.
When Harry met Sally, that's all it's about is men and women. And when I made that, that was an extension of my dating life.
And I was making I was single for 10 years. I was divorced, you know, after being married for 10 years, I was single and i was making a mess out of my dating life yeah and that became the basis for when harry met sally so it'd be you know norah efrem when i told her the idea i said it's about scenes from a of a relationship uh it's what men and women it's what they go through this dance and people would ask me all the time they'd say i don't understand these understand these two people.
They're professional people. They only talk about relationships and men and women.
Don't they ever talk about their work or anything? I said, yeah, they talked about their work all the time. I just didn't put the camera on when they were doing that.
I only let them see this other part. Hey, can men and women be friends? Um, yes, they can be best friends.
But this is my feeling about it. If the relationship is over and they go their separate ways, if the woman gets with a man or a man gets with another woman, then those original men and women can no longer be close friends because you're now connected to another person.
So on some level they can be but they can't be uh afterwards there's always a threat of something coming in unless you're polyamorous in which case hey i don't know what the hell you're doing i really i don't get that one at all i just don't get polycules i don't get it you don't get it no because i get it it's called cheating i get it no but but imagine if cheating were allowed yeah right but but it oh somebody always gets hurt somebody always gets jealous somebody always gets upset it doesn't like oh forever they're gonna be like no it you tell me one 50 year polyamorous you know yeah yeah i do think that um i was we we have we it's funny we're having some summer conversation i do think it's like hey listen at the end of your life you want one person holding your hand and if you try for two you may end up with none you know that's my feeling i feel the same way i mean you want to just you know you make a commitment to somebody if you love them. And, you know, you can stay friends.
But then if you break up, you go with somebody else. You're not going to be best friends.
And by friends, deep friends. I don't mean acquaintances.
And deep friends share everything. They share the innermost feelings.
And you won't be able to do that with your ex. You know, you just wouldn't.
Because the new person is going to say, what are you doing talking? What are you doing? Whatever, you know. What's going on here? Yeah.
So you mentioned that, of course, they talked about work. You just didn't put in the movie.
I think I can ask you this because he's talked about it publicly. I worked on the newsroom with Aaron Sorkin.
He would tell a story about you. And the story was basically that after a few good men, you know, he went into a hotel room.
He came out a huge success, goes back into the four seasons. He's doing cocaine, writing for days at a time till the cocaine runs out, getting more cocaine, keeping on writing.
And he sends you a, what I have my recollection, like a 400 page. Here's the truth.
That, but it's amazing that he tells you that because that that's true that what happened, what happened is we, we were going to do do this movie which eventually became the the American president and what happened was Robert Redford uh had the rights to it and they had had like 14 different drafts from different writers I never read any of them but I met with Robert Redford and I said look I can do this with Aaron because we had this great experience on a few good men. We want to do this together.
And we started working on it. And Aaron was very – his issue was gun control.
That's the thing he cared about. My issue was the environment.
And so we wanted to get those issues into this romantic story set in the world of the White House.

And so we crafted this.

The first draft that Aaron sent me before we started working on it was 309 pages.

309 pages.

And I said, Aaron, script is normally 100 to 150.

I said, Aaron, we can't give this to Robert Redford.ford i am gonna make him read 309 pages crazy but he was on coke and he was right yeah he was not redford but no no aaron and so i said we got to rewrite this let's work on this so he'd send me pages he was at the four seasons he was a couple of blocks away he sent me fax me in facts in those days send me pages i write i send pages back we go back and forth back and forth and the 309 turned into 334 and i went aaron this is not gonna work i said give me this thing then i took it and i started you know massaging it and doing that and i got it down to i think like pages. And we did send it to Redford.
And he says, I don't want to do political. I want it just to be a romantic love story.
And so he wound up not doing it. And then Michael Douglas came in.
But you were right about Aaron at that time. And then he wrote me a letter afterwards, like the 12-step thing where they say, I'm sorry that i fucked up your life well but he was very nice about it the way that he told it was that that that basically you you were given this monstrosity that couldn't become a movie but there was beautiful things in it and that you basically said all this part about the staff let's put this aside this this is your movie yeah and then he took the pages that you didn't use and he made the west wing.
He used a lot of pages. That was fine.
And he did ask me, he said, is it okay? Because there were hundreds of pages that we didn't use. And I said, yeah, sure, sure.
I don't have any proprietary thing about any of that stuff. I mean, to me, a creative person, you go and do it.
And, and I was fine. I was totally cool with that.
But to give you an example, you remember, I don't know if you've seen the movie, at the end, Michael Douglas gives this speech in the press room, the press briefing room, and the speech is all about being the president and what it means to be a president. Aaron wrote a speech that was 15 pages long.

And it wound up being about three and a half pages,

which is still a lot of stuff.

He pulls off a racing stripe, you know?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But he used all that stuff.

He wound up, I think, only in the first year,

maybe, of West Wing.

But then after that, other stuff.

Rob Reiner, thank you so much.

This was so great.

Really appreciate it.

Really appreciate it.

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
Hey, this is Jeff Lewis from Radio Andy. Live and uncensored, catch me talking with my friends about my latest obsessions, relationship issues, and bodily ailments.
With that kind of drama that seems to follow me, you never know what's going to happen. You can listen to Jeff Lewis live at home or anywhere you are.
Download the SiriusXM app for over 425 channels of ad-free music, sports, entertainment, and more. Subscribe now and get three months free.
Offer details apply. I am Michelle.
And I am Craig. And Craig here is my big brother.
And you all know my sister Michelle, or Mish as our family has always called her. We are so excited for you to listen to our brand new podcast.
It's called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. Together, Craig and I are going to take your questions about the challenges you're grappling with in life.
Every week, we'll be joined by some of our friends, special guests and experts who will keep us honest. Whether you're navigating the gray areas of marriage and raising kids or dealing with a little friend drama or even figuring out how to put yourself out there in the dating world.
And look, we're not saying we have all the answers either. But we do have plenty of opinions.

So get in touch, send us your questions and join us every week on IMO with Michelle Obama

and Craig Robinson. Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts.
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Sign up for Greenlight today at greenlight.com slash podcast. What does the JD and JD Vance stand for? No one knows, least of all me.
Luckily, this year we came up with a whole host of options for our new vice president to choose from. Did we ever beat Jar Jar Dinks, Vance? I'll let you be the judge.
Speaking of men who freak out when women have fun, Joybird Defiler Vance seemed to agree with the hosts. Judge Doody Vance, Justin Dinberlake Vance, Jabba the Dud Vance, Jew Detector Vance, Jeffrey Dahmer Vance, Jar Jar Dinks Vance, Jadoff Dittler, Jennifer Lopez Vance, Meanwhile, Joe Dirt Vance, Joan Duddy and Vance.
Jellicle Dat Vance. John Dullinger Vance.

Jingo Dingo Vance's spokesperson.

The legendary Kathleen Turner stopped by our Boston show in June to regale us with behind

the scenes stories from her decades in the industry, including a very special exchange

she had with the late Matthew Perry when she was on Friends.

Guess you can say me and Kathleen Turner are officially friends.

That's embarrassing. We're acquaintances.
Acquaintances with a strong vibe.

Please welcome to the stage, and we cannot believe it, a living legend, the one, the only,

Kathleen fucking Turner. We have a classic love it or leave it game that was tailor-made for you.
That's right, ladies and gentlemen, it is time for Was I in This? Here's how it works. Chris is out there in the house.
Audience, you will not embarrass yourselves in front of Kathleen Turner. All right? Raise your hand if you want to play,

and Chris will find you in the audience.

Kathleen played a cartoon shoe in Who Framed Roger Rabbit.

True.

False.

Oh, damn.

Jessica Rabbit.

Jessica, Joe, there is a shoe.

There is a shoe.

It goes in the dip.

I think my favorite line from that

was, I love you more than any woman has ever loved a rabbit before.

I love that. I love that.

What an amazing...

Were you Jessica Rabbit or was Jessica Rabbit you?

You're now so entwined.

The character couldn't exist without you, right?

Well, Bob Zemeckis directed, and he directed Romancing the Stone. So we'd known each other, you know, for many years.
And I think that when he wanted just a voice, he, you know, he thought of me. What he didn't realize, and which was absolutely gorgeous for me, was I was extremely

pregnant then. And so I would waddle into the studio, you know, and I have these friends like opera singers who claim that they gain a note on either end with the resonance.
Anyway, the last day I was supposed to work, my water broke.

And I'm in the hospital. I don't know.
Anyway, the last day I was supposed to work,

my water broke.

And I'm in the hospital saying,

call this studio.

Tell him I'm not coming today.

I like that.

I like that. The sexiest voice ever recorded

had to call in for maternity leave.

That's cool. That's great.
And finally, Kathleen played what was described as Chandler's dad on Friends. Yeah.
That is such a... Accurate.
All of these movies, it's so interesting situating some of these movies because whether it's the strong women are existing in this misogynist space and then you play Chandler's dad at a time in which there wasn't even really the word trans and yet it's a kind of loving portrait of this person in the end. Have you thought about that? I was doing a fun woman show based on Tallulah Bankhead, of course, up in San end.
Have you thought about that? I was doing a one-woman show based on Tallulah Banquet, of course, up in San Francisco. And two of the writers from Friends came up and came backstage and talked to me about playing this man in drag.
Yeah? And you're right. I mean, people have asked me since then, would you do it now? I mean, shouldn't it be done by a man in drag? Well, of course it should.
But we didn't have that then.

I mean, honestly, it wasn't really an option. And so I wanted to.

OK, no way I have to. OK, I.
I had a dresser on the show, right? Gay guy who also did drag. And so I said, you're going to take me to some clubs.
You know, I need to understand what this is and what I have to do. So he took me to these drag clubs and they were brilliant.
And they were, oh, so, such angry laughter. You know, I mean, they were hilarious, but there always seemed to be this edge of real anger underneath.
And so, first day of rehearsal at the studio, I go in and I read through the script, and suddenly the producers and everybody else run off to a corner and huddle, and then someone comes over bravely and says, it's great, you know, it's just great. I mean, you're, ah're great great but but but we you we wonder could you just could you just be um a little nicer yep okay well it's uh it's interesting because it's it's clearly this it's you know maybe it wouldn't be obviously exist in the same way today but it's this character is described as a drag queen but clearly living as a woman all the time he's fully yeah he's not just a drag queen his life is as a woman right that's exactly right yeah yeah it's what well i'll tell you it's funny though because um Matthew Perry used to call me dad you know when he would see me dad that's sweet poor baby thank you for being here I enjoyed it was this fun do you have fun do you have fun? Do you have fun? Yeah, I have fun.
Everybody give it up for the one, the only, Kathleen Turner. July 21st, 2024 was a day that will go down in American history.
For it was the day we dropped the episode where comedian, actor, and writer Thomas Lennon joined us in Madison, Wisconsin to ask the audience, hey, did I write this? Also on July 21st, Joe Biden dropped out of the 2024 presidential election and endorsed Kamala Harris. It was an interesting footnote to the day's main historical entry, which was again, Thomas Lennon.
Let's take a listen. Please welcome to the stage the one, the only, it's Thomas Lennon.
He's running full speed. Full speed.
Yes. Okay.
Hi. Hi.
Thank you for being here. Come on.
So now you are an incredible writer who has written on so many projects. I'm a busy writer.
You're very busy. So it's time we play a twist on a love to leave a classic called Did I Write this? We're going to have Chris out there.
All right. If somebody would like to let somebody raise your hand.
Want to answer a question? Was I the pen behind? And I'm going to say her name properly. The Lindsay Lohan vehicle.
Herbie fully loaded. Yes.
Yes. Correct.
Got it. Correct.
So you talk about, in the book, about making this movie. What is your takeaway now, all these years later? A couple things.
Lindsay Lohan is, she's excellent in the film. The film actually did really well, and everyone just hated us so much when that movie came out.
The reason, oh, it's in the actual poster right now.

We actually got fired, even though I'm in the movie at some point,

we got fired off of writing the film because the studio producer, after something happened, was like, and then Herbie's going to smile. And we were like, Herbie's not fucking like liquid metal.

He's not the T1. He can, his lights go on and off.
His trunk opens. He goes beep, beep.
But he's not like, he's not going to go like fucking smile like the Joker. That's insane.
That's crazy. If the car smiles at Lindsay Lohan, she's going to go, that's crazy.
This is a sentient, like insane thing. So that was the hill that we died on.
and then we... So for some reason,

we were perfectly happy. like insane thing.
So that was the hill that we died on. And then we,

so for some reason we were perfectly happy to write a Herbie fully loaded movie,

but going to be dicks about that.

The car couldn't smile.

Which was such an awesome idea.

No.

And they really got us on the poster.

Right.

Cause the car does seem to smile.

He has just got a shit eating grin on his face. He's almost saying, hi, Tom.
So Herbie is a sentient vehicle. Herbie, yeah, Herbie.
This was actually, I think, probably something like the sixth Herbie movie, something like that. Wow.
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
It was an interesting time to write that picture, for sure.

Okay.

I wrote, did I write Reno 911, The Hunt for QAnon?

This feels like a trick.

It's distressing how many of you have not seen that that's a real movie.

I'm a big fan. I just found out about this.
Okay, that's really fucking distressing. This is a giant movie that came out on Paramount+.
I thought it was a giant movie. Sorry, the answer was...
I'm going to go with yes. Well, yeah.
Obviously, yes. Yeah.
One of my smarty pants friends pointed out, they're like, shouldn't it really be called Reno and I'm on the hunt for Q? And I was like, yeah, but they already told us what the title was. That's right, because QAnon is everywhere.
And plus, like, we didn't make Herbie smile. I'm like, I'm not going to fucking do this again.
They told us what the title was.

Shut up and do it sometimes.

The answer to who Q is in that movie is RuPaul and a Speak and Spell.

That's cool.

That's as good a guess as any.

As good a guess as any.

I already spoiled it.

Please watch it.

It's on Paramount+.

I will.

I'll watch it.

Yeah.

It'd be good if they just hit play and left the room.

If everybody just sign up for Paramount+, and just leave me on. Yeah.
Next question. Did Thomas write The Pacifier starring one Vin Diesel? I hope so.
Yes. In the book, you said you met with Jackie Chan to potentially star in The Pacifier before Vin signed on.
It was a hundred percent just supposed to be a Jackie Chan movie. Um, one thing is, uh, in the original draft written for Jackie pitched to Jackie, Jackie loved the idea.
He said script very good. After we pitched it, he did like some Kung Fu at lunch.
It was really like one of the coolest days of my life. And, uh, the idea was that he goes to a, like a really great Chinese market and he's going to make a duck for the children and so the children freak out and of course then he becomes friends with the duck and he has sort of a scene where he the uh the duck is like his raza ghul and he kind of talks to the duck a little bit and they become friends and the duck of course is a popular character so when jackie ended up uh they didn't want to do the the movie with Jackie for a minute because the tuxedo had just kind of...
In Hollywood, you can cool off like in a millisecond and then you're hot and then you're freezing cold and you're hot. It's gaslighting all the time.
But so Jackie was no longer going to be in the movie. It was Vin Diesel.
And I was like, well, let me go do a pass because we obviously have to cut the duck. That doesn't make sense.
And I'm like, no. The only thing in the movie that for sure stays is the duck.
I'm like, but why? And they're like, because he has a duck. I'm like, how? Fucking poster.
I'm always wrong. Look at the fucking poster.
Every hill I die on is in the poster going like that. Ducks and smiling beetles.
Did they make the car smile? I guess so. They did make the car smile.
Passifier was sort of oddly a big hit. Yeah, I get it.
So was Herbie, by the way, even though it was a weird movie Well, because it's about a sentient car that has no rights Yeah, we did We made a huge mistake which was at the premiere of Herbie Fully Loaded at the El Capitan in Hollywood we talked to Nina Jacobson, who was the president of Disney, about what the sequel was going to be.

Don't ever do that.

Don't ever do that.

Don't ever go to the bar and be like,

woohoo, what's the next one?

Herbie is going to get into that.

Don't do that.

Don't ever talk about what the next Herbie movie is going to be.

You're at the El Capitan with Nina Jacobson,

the former head of the studio.

Yeah.

You don't bring up the sequel for Herbie Sequel.

We all talk about it. High five and early.
Don't do it. It's a curse.
That's the curse. The curse of talking about the movie too much.
Did Thomas write for Comedy Central's legendary comedy series, Strangers with Candy? I'm a contrarian. No.
Incorrect. Come on.
That was an interesting one because, so Stephen Col colbert was a head writer of strangers with candy who has also played um uh one of the main characters there there they are it's uh most of exit 57 it's amy and paul and everybody but no really almost nobody else wrote uh strangers with candy episodes i don't know why they really let me write one, but I wrote the one where, uh, Jerry had traded away. She'd had a child years ago that she traded for a guitar.
And then this new boy comes to school and it seems like this might be the boy that she traded for. So she goes, she goes to the Sadie Hawkins dance with what might be her son.
And it's like very romantic.

And she gives a long speech about how she always wondered what happened to that guitar. It was a good episode.
Stephen Colbert is a tough, tough guy to work for on that show. Tough.
He's very, very, he's very hands-on writing. Really? Yeah, yeah.
He's smart. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
He's so funny. It gets a little, it's, yeah.
it feels like, yeah. Intense.
I like that. I mean, we're friends, but it's also, it feels, you know, it's like definitely like the stakes are high.
Yeah. Yeah.
You don't want to, you don't want to let them down. Yeah.
We've gone on the late show with, and it's, um, you know, the people you meet and they're just like, I don't know. I'm pretty, um, I'm pretty a nerd to it at this point, but I am so nervous.
Oh no, that one is particularly, yes. You can just see it.
He's so smart. He's so funny.
He has such a, there's also just like a righteousness to him, like an integrity to how he does things that I, it's just, you really, I really want, I wanted, I want to do for him what he wants me to do.

It's not that I want his approval.

I want to succeed in the way he hopes to succeed.

Oh, I want his approval very much.

And I also want the approval.

I want his approval.

A hundred percent.

One time he told me that I look handsome and it was the first time I was happy in, I don't

know, 35, 40 years.

But, you know, that was just, it felt good.

Yeah.

That's a great strategy with Candy.

Also on Paramount Plus.

Please go to Paramount Plus, everybody.

And if you take anything away from this.

Just put it on.

Just put it on.

Just put a thumb on it.

Thomas Lennon,

thank you so much for being here.

Oh my God, love it.

While I was busy sucking down sand

and having my sunburned ass

handed to me by my tribe mates,

the wonderful Matt Rogers

hosted a perfect week of

Love It or Leave It in May.

Open your ears and your hearts

as his guest Rachel Bloom recalls a story about 9-11 that you'll never forget. Y'all ready for the next guest? Please welcome to the stage.
She was America's crazy ex-girlfriend. Now she's my crazy platonic stage wife.
It's the unbelievable Rachel Bloom. I just want to say love it is shivering

on a rock right now I want to

remind everyone

John your show is in great hands

everything's going well buddy

so speaking of things that started in the

aughts talking about Survivor there

so I don't know if you know this

but last week America celebrated

the 20th anniversary of the release

of Shrek 2

I love

Thank you. So I don't know if you know this, but last week America celebrated the 20th anniversary of the release of Shrek 2.
I was so wondering what we were going to talk about because I realized they sent an email asking, what do you want to talk about? And I'm solo parenting this week, so I'm a mother. So that's my real job.
So I was like, whatever he wants to talk about. I trust him.
So I love that, of course, we're going to talk about fucking Shrek 2. Yeah.
And I knew that you would love it. Shrek came out in what year? 2000? So the first Shrek was 2001.
But we're talking, of course. Wait, pre-911 or post-911? That's important to know.
Did someone just say? I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
Did someone just say moments after?

You go pre-9-11 or post, and someone in the crowd goes, it was moments after.

It was Tower 1, Tower 2, Shrek 2. Okay, so first...
I always ask when something comes out in 2001 if it's pre-9-11 or post because I remember that time. Yeah.
Yeah. And that's all I got.
And that's why, do you want to hear something dark? This is true. September 11th, 2001.
What? Was the day Mariah Carey released her album that accompanied the film Glitter. I remember going to school that morning and writing the header on my paper.
9-11-2001 and I remember saying probably out loud, this is the day that I get glitter. My mother, I get a call call like so many kids did

we were on the east coast

I had just gotten to school

can you send Matt Rogers down to the office

his mother is here to take him home for the day

I'm like oh my god

my mom is taking me to get glitter

early me to get glitter early. I quickly learned that was not the reason for my early dismissal.
My mom, concerned, was like there's just something going on in the city and I really, I don't like what's happening and I want you to be home with me. I said, okay, are we going to get glitter? She goes, I don't think the store is going to be open.
And I go, what? What's going on in the city that the store wouldn't be open on Long Island? And so she goes, oh my God. And I think I saw her realize in that moment like I have to get my gay son this album now or else what already is a nightmare will be even worse in my own home so we did stop by the record store they were closing up and my mom, please just let us quickly do this.

And the people that were working there were like, okay.

Anyway, it's an underrated album to this day.

Please make this a short film because what I'm picturing is a line of employees salute you as you walk by. Just like this is an American.
So when you say person out there who was like moments after literally moments after my husband was was, no, this will be, this will start. My husband lived two blocks from the towers on 9-11.
He was at NYU. He was at the Water Street dorm.
Oh my God, at the Water Street dorm. Yeah, and his 9-11 story is insane because first plane hit Tower 1 and he went out to go see because they thought it was just an accident.
Right.

And then it was like September.

He's wearing sweatpants and he went back inside because his balls were cold.

And that is the thing that maybe saved his life.

His balls.

His balls being cold because otherwise he would have been like right under the fucking towers with the plane.

His balls saved his life. Yes.

His weak little balls.

The fact that his balls. They're They're great They worked Simon Rex The man The mystery The reason we need more scary movie sequels We were excited About Simon When we knew he was coming on the show But when he started ruminating On the nature of ghosts During this August episode Well you have you have to hear it yourself.
Listen closely and see if you can pick up on our head writer, Hallie, busting up backstage. From her to you, thank you, Simon Rex.
Simon, you shot at the Hacienda Temazone Sur in Mexico? Yeah. Which is, I think, the most beautiful place I've ever seen in my life.
Yeah, look at that. That's cool.
It's an old, kind of creepy

place, but now it's beautiful, but it had

like, I don't believe in ghosts, but it would be

haunted if the ghosts were real. I

invite ghosts to come hang out.

I don't think they could physically hurt you. I think

they scare you, but they

can't hurt you, right? So I gotta say, for a guy

that doesn't believe in ghosts, you got some very

specific ideas of what they can

and cannot do do but isn't

then there would be cat ghosts and dinosaur ghosts would be taking up space why just humans why do we think we're the only ghosts that's a really important point i know well in a lot of ghost media there are animal ghosts they are yeah oh i didn't know that yeah ghost dog yeah so yeah i just don't believe in ghosts but maybe i shouldn't say that publicly because now they're coming for me.

Right.

But that's how you conjure them Is talking about them on a podcast Do you believe in ghosts? I do I do believe in ghosts No But I think that Do I believe that there are Forces moving through us That we can't possibly understand That like sort of defy our comprehension. And then we use our three dimensional brain in a multidimensional universe to kind of make sense of things that our brain simply cannot make sense of and describe them as ghosts.
Yes. Okay.
I think. Yeah.
That's what I think. Have you had any ghosts? I not personally but I just feel like They could exist why not It feels like I have a soul

I believe I feel it. So sure, it could wander around.
I believe you have a soul. Thank you.
Simon, inspired by your incredible digs, a shipping container, we have a very special new edition of a classic love it or leave it game we'd like to play. Ashley, this is also inspired by your ability to have an opinion on everything.
True. Which is why we're going to play Would You Fuck This House? Ooh.
Nice. I love this.
Simon, Ashley, the game is very simple. I will show you a house.
You will have to tell us if you would fuck it. Obviously, this is not literal.
Or is it? Doesn't matter. All right, here we go.
The Biltmore Mansion in Asheville, North Carolina. I've been there.
We've been there. I didn't fuck it.
It's very regal. It is.
I'd say it's really just not my type. This isn't the kind of person I fuck.
I don't think I've ever dated someone with a good credit score.

So just feels like it's out of my league.

It looks like a racist house.

Yeah.

That too.

Here's that too.

Yeah.

No, it's a no for me.

It's a pass.

If there was ghosts, they would be there.

That's haunted as hell.

Yeah.

I do think it's like, like in the movie, this is, you know, this is who Rose is trying to get away from in Titanic.

Yeah.

You know?

Could you have sex with a ghost?

Okay, so people have said that they have.

Ooh.

Yeah, there's people who have interviewed and talked about how they had sex with a ghost.

Like, receive or give? Receive, usually. Spooky.
Yeah. I got to tell you, I think you believe in ghosts.
I think you believe in them. I'm just getting the sense that you might believe in them.
Next up, we have the Flintstones house in Hillsborough, California. Ooh.

Phallic. Yeah.

Mounds feel sexual. It looks like some orange

breasts, like an orange worm.

It is those holes.

I kind of love it. The longer I look,

the more I'm like, you know,

like on a first date, you first think, oh, I don't know

if I like this person. And slowly you're like,

okay, okay, I can see this. Voluptuous childbearing rooms yeah right yeah yeah I think it's I think it's space like yeah I think it's I think it's like low gravity has anyone had sex in outer space yet oh probably for sure It's one of those ghosts.

Has anyone had sex in outer space? Not yet. Definitely.
In the International

Space Station? Yeah. After a year alone?

Yeah. Oh, yeah.
It's like,

hey, after this docking, should we do some docking?

I've had those two astronauts who are stuck up

there right now are having sex. Yeah.

Well, that's interesting. That's interesting.

And if you got pregnant, what would the baby be any

different? Does time not exist?

Time.

Because you're not rotating around the sun.

Yeah.

No, no.

Don't they have more days?

Yeah.

Don't you age different in outer space?

Yeah.

These are really important questions.

This is take them one at a time.

I think you do age differently up there, but not for the the reasons you're saying Would the baby be fucked up? Probably But not again because of time The amount of time you go around the sun Might be different But the baby wouldn't know But it still might be screwed up Because there's no gravity up there You know what I mean? Also it stinks up there They can't can't pee normal They can't pee normal There's no gravity So they have to use a suction cup to pee They're disgusting They just wipe each other They have wipes Wow Imagine spending six months up there And all you're doing is going into a thing Drawing a curtain and wiping Your whole body, head to toe And I do think that does create a sort of sexual environment It It's like, you're seeing me at my worst. Let's just go at each other.
And cool. And that's why I would fuck this house.
And that's why you fuck that house. And you know, after you, after you have sex up there, you could say, I need some space.
Don't go anywhere. This is love it or leave it.
There's more on the way. I am Michelle.
And I am Craig. And Craig here is my big brother.
And you all know my sister Michelle, or Mish as our family has always called her. We are so excited for you to listen to our brand new podcast.
It's called IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson. Together, Craig and I are going to take your questions about the challenges you're grappling with in life.
Every week, we'll be joined by some of our friends, special guests, and experts who will keep us honest. Whether you're navigating the gray areas of marriage and raising kids or dealing with a little friend drama or even figuring out how to put yourself out there in the dating world.
And look, we're not saying we have all the answers either. But we do have plenty of opinions.
So get in touch, send us your questions, and join us every week. On IMO with Michelle Obama and Craig Robinson.
Subscribe wherever you get your podcasts. Hey, this is Jeff Lewis from Radio Andy.
Live and uncensored, catch me talking with my friends about my latest obsessions, relationship issues, and bodily ailments. With that kind of drama that seems to follow me, you never know what's going to happen.
You can listen to Jeff Lewis live at home or anywhere you are. Download the SiriusXM app for over 425 channels of ad-free music, sports, entertainment, and more.
Subscribe now and get three months free. Offer details apply.
Did you know that parents rank financial literacy as the number one most difficult life skill to teach? Meet Greenlight, the debit card and money app for families. With Greenlight,

you can set up chores, automate allowance, and keep an eye on your kids spending with real-time notifications. Kids learn to earn, save, and spend wisely, and parents can rest easy knowing their kids are learning about money with guardrails in place.
Sign up for Greenlight today at greenlight.com slash podcast. Hey everybody, Love It or Leave It has some exciting LA live shows coming up in 2025.
I'll be taking the stage for a new season of the show that dared guests from Danny DeVito to Amy Klobuchar to ask, what is this? And where am I? Each week, I'll break down the biggest and dumbest stories in politics to help you keep up with and laugh at the news. And this season, stay tuned for big guests and surprising conversations you won't find anywhere else.
Our first very special guest will be Rachel Bloom, followed by Joel McHale. Don't miss out on the wild, wired energy of love to relieve it in real life and all the vaguely cancelable chaos we have no choice but to cut from the live show.
Head to crooked.com slash events to see show dates and to grab tickets. We'll see you there.
Crooked's Friend of the Pod subscription is offering an exciting 25% off new annual subscriptions through the end of the year. If you're feeling anxious about the avalanche of headlines and new MAGA comic book villains waiting for us on the other side of the new year, you're not alone.
Crooked is here to cut through the noise, break down what matters, and ease your hand off the panic button, and your subscription will support all of what we do here. You'll get ads-free episodes of Pod Save America, subscription-exclusive shows, access to our lively Discord community of political junkies and more, and all while supporting Cricket's mission in the best way that you can.
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So please sign up now at crooked.com slash friends or through the Prod Save America feed on Apple Podcasts. We really appreciate it.
It's only so often you get to share the stage with a legend. I just hope Jane Fonda enjoyed it.
Just kidding. I was like an ant before the eye of God during our very special show at the Bourbon Room in Los Angeles this September.
Let's get, well, not physical. Let's get audible.
Hi, Jane. Hi.
So nice to see you. Nice to see you, too.
What's the matter? No, I'm just... I've lost already.
It's over. Listen, who is seeing this show? Is this it?

You mean live?

Live, this is it.

Okay.

But then a bunch of people will see it on YouTube,

and a bunch of people will listen to it as a podcast.

Really?

Yeah.

Okay.

I came on here.

I thought you were a different John Lovett. I didn't.

And I'm very pleasantly surprised.

But I don't know why I'm here.

I really don't.

I asked my publicist, why am I here?

I mean...

No, and your confusion?

Yeah.

Totally understandable.

And again, like, you wouldn't know based on this or this that people listen.

Isn't that surprising?

By my whole personality that people tune into this?

You're very funny.

Oh.

And I yeah. No, I'm actually, I'm feeling good because, you know, at my age, I really, I could understand your humor a little bit.
I mean, I understand why people laughed. I was worried.
Because, you know, I can, you can kind of be out of it i don't worry that you were out of it yeah i was worried that i wouldn't think you're funny and then i wouldn't really know why i was here but you are funny well now you've been an activist and for such a long time now can we show the image of the 1970 uh mug? Because I feel like you should teach a course

on how to look cool in a monk shot.

I mean, that...

You guys must be really short on money.

I don't think too many people must listen to this show.

You have no money.

You show a small TV show.

No.

No, you may be saying,

why not put it on the big screen behind you?

Successful shows usually have a big screen.

It ain't the view, that's for sure.

Jane, I want you to know

that people sweat and blood and tears

went into trying to get that image on this screen.

But even with AI and all

the technological wonders, even with

billionaires soaring above our heads

as we speak,

no.

Not tonight. Could it work?

Well, it is a good mugshot.

I got lucky. The lighting was really good.

That's cool.

I have several and they don't all look that good.

So speaking of which, you told the Washington Post

that one of your jailers said,

there must be a better way to draw attention to your cause.

But is there?

It feels like it works.

You getting arrested.

It's a big deal when Jane Fonda gets arrested. Everyone's like, holy shit, they arrested Jane Fonda again.
Yeah, that's why I do it. Yeah.
I turned... No, it's true.
I mean, it's called nonviolent civil disobedience and it has changed history. Throughout history.
That said, you know, I'm white.

I'm famous.

They don't treat me like they do black people and brown people.

And I recognize that.

I don't want to make it look like it's some brave thing to be arrested.

It's not.

You usually get put in a holding pen with a lot of people

that you wanted to talk to anyway, so.

And I could do wall squats.

Oh.

You probably don't know what that is.

I know what a wall squat is, Jane.

You know what it is.

I do know what a wall squat is.

Jane, I've been doing Pilates.

Really?

Really? I have no idea what's going on but I turned 82 in jail and I knew 82 in jail, and I knew that would get a lot of love.

It was like five or six years ago, and I knew it would get a lot of attention.

And it did.

And so a lot of other old women around the country said, well, if she can do it.

And people came from all over the country.

It was so great and got arrested for the first time.

And it was fun.

You see? We had a good time. i don't know what is there a camera that is photographing anything here yes there's actually several it's a real production it's a real there's there are professionals you can't see them the dark is the lighting there's professionals in virtually every direction i came in here and walked a half a mile straight upstairs.
Tonight, you're about to match wits with Crooked's resident film expert and dweeb. An Emmy nominee this weekend for his writing on the 2024 Academy Awards, please welcome Keep It's Own, Louis Vertel.
There he is. Louis.
Come on. Good to see you, buddy.
Louis. We were on Millionaire together.
Yeah, we were. Yes.
I can never beat him. She should be afraid.
That's the way it works. Yeah.
No, he knows everything. I know.
I know he's a savant when we were on who wants to be a millionaire together this is how crazy it is to know this person we kept getting questions on accident that dovetailed with her life we got a question about a hundred year old tortoise she had met before and he was like impotent or something no i really no I watched him be masturbated I did that's no way to speak about Rupert Murdoch who is Lonesome George was his name Lonesome George very famous Lonesome George they brought a Swedish course a Swedish woman vet over to the Galapagos. They wanted to try to breed him so that the, you know, and it didn't work.
Didn't work. No.
I just want to say as a trivia person, aren't you all fucking in awe of her amazing memory? Jesus Christ. You know everything.
No, you know. That's true.
I do too. Yes, you're gonna win this.
Let Let's go. Here's how it works.
Now, Lewis is a low-key

madman, so we thought we would up the

difficulty and pit him against Jane

Fonda in a segment we're calling

Into the Fondaverse.

Good place to be.

I will ask both of you questions

about Jane Fonda.

And we will see who knows jane fonda better first question what is the film jane fonda most regrets turning down oh i oh i know i think bonnie and clive incorrect she has said bonnie and clive before. I can find the interview right now.
Uh, God, what was it?

It was Julie Christie and Omar Sharif. What was that movie? Oh, Dr.
Tobago. Yeah.
That's correct, Jane. Okay.
Yeah. At least that's what you told Ellen.

Jane Fonda received the title role in the 1965 comedy western Cat Baloo,

considered by many to be her breakout star turn.

After the first choice actress passed,

later it was revealed that the actress's manager

had declined the role without consulting her,

and if she had known, she would have taken it.

Who is that actress?

Who is the actress?

That was originally offered Cat Baloo.

Yeah.

Oh, that's a good...

Well, I know that...

I'm sorry. who is that actress? Who is the actress that was originally offered Cat Ballou? Yeah.
Oh, that's a good... Well, I know that...
Her first three Oscar nominations, Barbra Streisand turned it down all three times, which is so crazy. According to Barbra.
Right. I believe, yeah.
According to Barbara, I would have no career if it weren't for her. She turned down Barbarella.
She turned down Clute. They shoot horses, don't they? What? They shoot horses, don't they? They shoot horses, don't they? And Julia.
And Julia. I mean, can you see her? No, I know.

It's all right.

So that's not the answer for that question.

I'm going to go with 1965.

Hmm.

Cat Baloo.

I assume she was already popular at the time.

Elizabeth Ashley?

Great guess.

Correct answer is Anne Margaret.

Anne Margaret.

There was a phase when you and Anne Margaret had the exact same hair. I'm not kidding.
It was confusing. Thank you.
She would have been good in Capaloo. Yeah, absolutely.
Yes. I'm glad she turned it down.
Oh, wait, quickly. Story.
Can I tell you one really quickly? Yeah. One time this guy came over to hook up.

Like, it was like a grinder hookup.

And at the time, I had this awesome poster of Jane Fonda in my house.

And the guy was not super verbal.

Like, he was drunk or something.

And he comes in, says nothing, sees the poster of Jane and goes,

Capaloo.

And that was the beginning of a friendship.

And he's a big movie person.

Anyway, we had sex.

Thank you. Thank you.
final question which of the following is not a real quote from one Jane Fonda okay a what does Jane Fonda eat for breakfast my boyfriend well toasted buttered on both sides. B, I ate a beetle.

C, my 82-year-old bones hurt.

Or D, you can grease him up or down.

I believe she said the first one about eating the boyfriend for sure.

That's correct.

No.

You didn't say that?

No, you did.

That's what I mean.

I absolutely can hear it in your voice.

You said...

I would never.

Apparently, you did. I'm not a morning person lewis i'm sorry to tell you this but you've been absolutely obliterated i you jane you wiped the floor with lewis and what do you think about lewis bonding with a would-be paramour about a poster of you? I love it.
Listen, in your life, if you can get one person screwed, it's worth it. You've done something good.
They say grief is nonlinear. For me, my post-election grief has followed a loose trajectory similar to one taken by a rocket-powered riverboat

driven by a demonic steamboat Willie.

Also, the toilets are all out of order.

Listen in as I attempt to,

in real time,

make sense of a second Trump administration

in this, our post-election show.

It has landed on depression.

I just start crying. It's like that easy.
I had a very dark moment earlier today, which was that I actually had a moment where I was really kind of mourning the good that we're not going to get. I had this moment where I just indulged in thinking about the delta between the world as we were fighting for and the world that we're going to get.
And I realized, I had this moment where I just thought, I don't know how bad things will get. But no matter who you are, no matter what you have, the next four years will be worse.
We've just signed on for being a bit sadder and more anxious and upset about politics. And there's no changing that now.
And we can ignore it for a time and do self-care and tend to our feelings and step away when we have to. And we should step away when we have to.
And I'm not going to indulge in this all the time, but that was a feeling I had, which is just the next couple of years are just going to be bad. What's the next stage? Is this a good idea? Bargaining.
Maybe it won't be so bad. Okay.
Listen. Okay.
All right. All right.
Hear me out. Hear me out.
Hear me out. Maybe it won't be so bad.
Okay. Donald Trump at root wants to be loved.
He wasn't, didn't get enough love as a child. He's never had therapy.
He's a broken fucking person. He's very transactional people.
He loves people who love him. He hates people who hate him.
He hurts people who hurt him or don't love him or admire him, And he tries to help the people who serve him. He's transactional.
And, you know, so much of the first four years of Trump was about this kind of like this fundamental grievance that here he was, this fucking guy that always ever wanted is the respect and admiration of the elites. That's why he calls Maggie Haberman every fucking day and then bashes her on social media, right? And he couldn't have it.
Why? Because we called him illegitimate because he didn't win the popular vote, because of all the interference that went into his winning, the fact that we put an asterisk there because of Comey and all the bullshit and the misogyny and all the rest. And he just, it made him a little bit fucking crazy.
Now, I don't think it takes much to make Donald Trump crazy. I think, I think he's crazy out of the packaging, but still he won a popular vote.
He did. He did.
And, uh, I can't even convince myself of this. Yeah.
That's the bargaining. That was bargaining.
How do I end that? Come on, anger.

All right. I'm so mad.
I'm so mad. Tuesday, I was shocked.
Wednesday, I was sad. Today, I am fucking furious.

And I think we all, I think this is a challenge. Watch me be part of the pontificating and priggish democratic elite that Brett Stevens hates while using stories about jazz era chess masters.
look in the mirror pal There's a series of essays that F. Scott Fitzgerald wrote called The Crack Up, and I love it.
And it's dated in all the ways it's dated. Caveats, they're done.
But it's really interesting, right? Because this is a person who is clearly struggling with mental illness, depression, addiction, but they don't have the words for it. And in it, he talks about the kinds of things he would write down on his list.
And one of them were the times he was snubbed by those who were not his better in character or ability. And I think about that all the time, because I do think it's something we all think about, right? The time where we're like, I mean, honestly, that's dating in Los Angeles.
But also in that essay, he says a line, which is I think relatively famous from the essay, which is the test of a first rate intelligence is keeping two contradictory eyes in the mind at the same time and still retaining the ability to function, something like that. And I do think we have to keep two ideas in our mind at the same time, which is, I think we shouldn't be in denial, we should face.
We made our case to the country. And Donald Trump won this election.
They had questions about his character, they had concerns about him as a human being. They do not like him.
But a lot of people that do not like him voted for him anyway. That, you know, Ron Brownstein wrote a great piece today that they chose the uncertainty of a different future from the unacceptability of the present, and paraphrasing, but some version of that.
And that is true, and we should be honest about that. That happened, right? That speaks to something about our inability to reach people.
That speaks to a disdain for the identity, the brand of the Democratic Party. That is real.
We need to be honest about that. We need to figure that out.
At the same time, I think it is also okay to feel and think, well, wait a second here. Joe Biden did what we asked him to do domestically.
I think there's valid criticism, both on policy and politics around Gaza and Israel. But domestically, Joe Biden for four years did what we asked him to do.
He came in, he built consensus, and he governed as well as anyone could have under the circumstances. In a pandemic, in an economic calamity, he passed the Rescue Plan.
He passed the Inflation Reduction Act. Someone who was always at the very dead center or center right of the Democratic Party in his old age was curious enough and open enough to listen and bring everybody in.
And he governed in a progressive way. He did what we asked him to do and he delivered.
And that didn't matter. Why? Why? Right? It's not enough to just say, well, people were upset about inflation.
Donald Trump's policies will be worse if your biggest issue is inflation. And so people voted based on this issue in a way that is ultimately, I think, counter to what they are hoping to get out of it.
And so I feel like I have these two competing ideas in my head right now, one of which is, what do we do to answer for the fact

that the American people collectively said, we are choosing Donald Trump over what you're offering,

while at the same time believing in my bones that if they had the right information, if we had

the ability to reach people and get them the information in a way that helped them understand

the stakes and the actual choice in this election, we would have won. And yeah.
And was this about anger? And also, Joe Biden, I can't tell what I'm madder about with Joe Biden, to be honest. Am I more mad about his decision to seek reelection in the year and a half leading up to the debate?

Or am I more angry about the month after the debate that he dithered and prevented us from either having a competitive primary or giving Kamala Harris enough time to actually mount an effective campaign?

I can't decide which is making me more angry right now, but I don't have to choose. What are the other ones? Oh, I'm not doing acceptance.
I'm not doing it. We'll be right back.
And with that, our journey through ChatGPT's favorite moments from 2024's Love It or Leave It has come to an end. In conclusion, we crushed it.
I'd like to dedicate this best of episode to Maggie Smith, Peanut the Squirrel, and maybe Jimmy Carter by the time this comes out. May their memories be a blessing from all of us here at Love It or Leave It.
Thank you for spending this 10 out of 10 absolutely flawless year with us and have a very happy holidays. Take a break.
Take some time from politics and the news, and we will see you sluts in 2025. Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production.
It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer.
Chris Lord is our producer. And Kennedy Hill is our associate producer.
Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles and Mahana del Shiki are our writers.
Evan Sutton is our editor. Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support.
Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. And Milo Kim is our videographer.
Our theme song is written and performed by SureSure. Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of

our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast, and to our digital producers,

David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroat, for filming and editing video each week

so you can. It's love it or leave it Love it or leave it

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