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Hey. Hey.
John and John here.
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Speaker 3 Terminally online.
Speaker 5 Jon Favreau, when were you two online this week?
Speaker 2 Okay, so we all know RFK Jr. So someone posted this on X
Speaker 2
this week. So what we're looking at here is a TikTok video from 2022.
That woman is named Tyler Idle. She's a porn actress.
She's got an OnlyFans account. She's on TikTok a lot.
Speaker 2 And on one of her videos, there's Robert F. Kennedy Jr., verified account, replying, wow.
Speaker 3 You might say he believes in that moon landing.
Speaker 2 And then
Speaker 2 there's two little heart smiley emojis. Yeah,
Speaker 2 the smiley, kind of sheepish with the three hearts. Yeah.
Speaker 2 So
Speaker 2 the MAGA person, I think his name is like MAGA Joe or something that put it up.
Speaker 2 He
Speaker 2 revealed this and then
Speaker 2
a lot of people said, wow, he's just, he's, it's like a very Ted Cruz liking the liking the porn on 9-11. Remember that? One of the best things that's ever happened.
It's ever happened.
Speaker 2 I mean, there's a lot of bad options and very few good options on 9-11.
Speaker 2
So people were wondering why he was liking this, why he was commenting on this. And then we got, I didn't think we were going to get an explanation.
We got this explanation from RFK Jr.
Speaker 3 Three parts.
Speaker 2 So complicated.
Speaker 2 The first tweet is, do people really think I was TikToking in 2022? Which two years ago?
Speaker 2
It's a wild thing to tweet. Like, that's your kickoff to this.
So do people think I'm... And then he says, the TikTok comment in question was made in 2022, long before I ever had a TikTok account.
Speaker 2 This comment now appears on my account because the account was previously owned by one of the campaign's young social media managers.
Speaker 2 And then he said, when I announced my run for the presidency in April of 2023, the team wanted it broadcast on every social platform, including TikTok.
Speaker 2 However, TikTok does not allow live streaming for accounts that have less than a thousand followers.
Speaker 3 Fewer than?
Speaker 2 The social media manager decided to transfer his account, which had around 1,500 followers, to me in order to stream my announcement on TikTok. All right, what do we think? We believe it?
Speaker 2 You listen.
Speaker 3 Listen.
Speaker 2 I don't know.
Speaker 3 A lot of words to say it wasn't me yanking the cord.
Speaker 2 Also, John, to your point about him saying back in 2022, it was September of 2022. It's like Q4.
Speaker 2 Is that three or four? I have no idea what Q4.
Speaker 2 It sounds like Q4. Thank you.
Speaker 2
Yeah, I mean, I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. No, I'm not.
No, I'm not. Remember when he farted at the dinner, too? Yes.
Remember that?
Speaker 2 Oh, my God.
Speaker 3 Was that a BBL?
Speaker 2 Could have been foreign policy.
Speaker 3 Remember the dinner? He had a dinner where like several ancient columnists started bickering and then somebody farted.
Speaker 2 That was the funniest thing.
Speaker 3 Incredible.
Speaker 2 So one of the great journalistic institutions left of our time, the Daily Mail, wrote a whole story about this. And the campaign didn't just, like, it didn't just stop at a young social media manager.
Speaker 2 The campaign gave the guy's name
Speaker 2
and picture to the Daily Mail and a picture of him with RFK Jr. His name is Rajean Murphy, 33 from Georgia.
And he was like, Yeah, I was supposed to set, and they give this whole explanation.
Speaker 2 He's like, I was supposed to set up the account, and I was just moving too fast. And I didn't think that all of my old comments would be deleted, but they are.
Speaker 2 And so I don't know if he's now, he's the fall guy for this or it's really true. Because when you look for him now, he has no social media accounts anywhere.
Speaker 2 So this is the guy who supposedly had like a lot of followers on TikTok, but now he is not on TikTok, Instagram, or anywhere else to be found. Well, I mean, traditionally, RFK Jr.
Speaker 2 has been a real straight shooter.
Speaker 2 You can take him at his word.
Speaker 3 Well, I mean, yeah.
Speaker 3 This is where he's claiming he wasn't doing the shooting, actually.
Speaker 2 I will say, like, the video itself was not explicit.
Speaker 5 Like, like it's not a it's it's an embarrassing thing to but he they i'm surprised how much attention they drew to it yes he more forcefully pushed back on this than the leaked video of him saying that covid targets white people and black people but not jews and chinese people this is where he draws the line this is his line in the sand I feel like he's really, yeah,
Speaker 2 what makes me most suspicious about it is that they went so hard at trying to debunk this.
Speaker 3 You know, every once in a while, there'll be a story about a corruption scandal or a crime committed by a campaign or congressional office, and some young person
Speaker 3 will end up in jail because they followed, they just like they went along with something that they shouldn't have gone along with.
Speaker 3 And they thought, like, you know, they didn't, they didn't listen to their little voice telling them that like this is just a job. Don't give up your own reputation for that of a politician.
Speaker 3 And in this case, I'm glad this guy fucking set himself on fire for RFK Jr.
Speaker 2 You deserve everything you're getting.
Speaker 3 If you think that this cause, this cause is so fucking worthy that you're going to be like, no, no, no. I'm Spartacus.
Speaker 3 It's my fucking, it's my, it's my wank-like.
Speaker 2 I was horny. I was horny in 2020.
Speaker 3 That's mine. Not, no, no, it's not RFK Jr.
Speaker 2 It's hard to get a handle on RFK's thought pattern.
Speaker 2 Huh?
Speaker 2 I got it, Tommy.
Speaker 5 That's pretty exciting.
Speaker 2 You don't speak, bro.
Speaker 2 It wasn't even.
Speaker 2
It wasn't even. Jesus.
You don't even know who's in the Super Bowl next weekend?
Speaker 3
Super Door. Of course I do.
The Jews told me six weeks ago.
Speaker 3 We met in the basement.
Speaker 2 What a decision we made.
Speaker 2 We met in the basement.
Speaker 3 We were like, you know, everybody feel good about taking those golds from those Russians and giving them to the Americans.
Speaker 2 We're like, yes, we need the win.
Speaker 3 Oh, my God. And then we said 49ers versus, you know, obviously Travis's team.
Speaker 2
I'm taken aback by the fact that it was just, it's really not that racy a picture at all. Right.
It could be in any catalog for clothing. But her.
Speaker 3 Oh, yeah, you know, catalogs.
Speaker 2 I'll tell you, though.
Speaker 2
We all have catalogs. Websites.
Her OnlyFans is blowing up. She's now posting videos about being the RFK Jr.
girl. Yeah.
Speaker 2
Someone made out great in this whole thing. There's something to be said about it, I can't say.
So look, I just think
Speaker 3
something about a grassy null. All right.
End of thought.
Speaker 2 I was going to say, yeah.
Speaker 2 Avoid.
Speaker 6 Is it a bad time to tell you that I've been liking OnlyFangirls on all of your accounts right now?
Speaker 2 Thank you.
Speaker 6 As the social maven I am.
Speaker 2 I have a question for you. Like, is it possible to transfer your TikTok account and then, because there's a new handle that just says the Kennedy 2024 campaign.
Speaker 2 There's like no traces of it being an old.
Speaker 6 No.
Speaker 2
It's not. No.
So he's full of shit. Yeah.
Speaker 2
I love this. Full of shit and horror.
I was hoping that's what we're talking about.
Speaker 2 I was hoping we have one of our social media experts here.
Speaker 6 I only know this because Amelia, our old social maven, she had to make another account because she wanted to try something completely different.
Speaker 6 And so you have to start from the ground up for the most part.
Speaker 2
This is bullshit. Bootstrapping it.
2022? Who was TikToking in 2022?
Speaker 2 Q4.
Speaker 3 I wasn't even horny in Q3.
Speaker 3 Meanwhile, he was
Speaker 2 cut to him shirtless in jeans, lifting weights at Gold Gym.
Speaker 2 Anyway, that's what I got.
Speaker 3
All right. That was good stuff.
He's still on the campaign, by the way.
Speaker 2 He's currently helping organize the campaign's Black History Month event. Great.
Speaker 2 Cool. Yeah.
Speaker 5 I wonder what George Papadopoulos is up to these days. Wow.
Speaker 2 That's what I have.
Speaker 3 George Papadopoulos.
Speaker 2 Wow.
Speaker 3
I think, I don't know. I feel like that's just a, I think it's a two, honestly.
Yeah, this is like a two.
Speaker 2 I saw a sign that said Basta today, and it made me think of that guy.
Speaker 3 Basta. Remember, remember, remember
Speaker 2 our guest?
Speaker 2 Basta. Oh, oh, oh, Michael Avenatti.
Speaker 2 Thank you.
Speaker 3
Basta. Michael Avenatti.
Night Avenati. It's his primary to lose.
Speaker 2
Yep. All right.
I think you're two. Cool.
Yeah. Agree.
Speaker 5 If you knew about it before RFK pushed back, then you would have been like a four or five.
Speaker 3 RFK is terminal, though. That's terminally online.
Speaker 2
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Yeah. That is true.
Yeah. Big time.
He's for sure. He's terminally online before the internet existed.
Yeah, that's right.
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Speaker 5 John, when were you two online this week?
Speaker 3
I was two online this week. I'm going to show you two videos.
I'm going to show the first video twice. I just want to just show you the first video.
Speaker 4 This is called Balkan Breakfast.
Speaker 3 Let's launch Balkan Breakfast.
Speaker 6 Is it Chicago style?
Speaker 3 And for those listening, here's what I love about it.
Speaker 4 So this is
Speaker 3 a man sitting at a table.
Speaker 3 He's got some kind of a gold chain, black t-shirt.
Speaker 3
So basically, he's sitting in front of a pile of different kinds of vegetables. A tomato, an onion, some kind of glass of beer juice.
I don't know. It looks like juice maybe.
And cheese in a bag.
Speaker 2 Fanta.
Speaker 3
And maybe could be Fanta. It does look Fanta color.
Yeah, it does look like Fantanta. And basically, he's only using one hand, I should say.
Speaker 3 And he basically just kind of, it's like jazz. Like he grabs a bread, bites the bread, eats half a tomato, grabs a cucumber, bites the cucumber,
Speaker 3 takes some kind of like what looks like a big pepper, take a big bite of pepper.
Speaker 3 And it's basically, and he doesn't stop. for the entire video.
Speaker 2 Oh, he's using another hand.
Speaker 3 It's never, oh, the other hand came up for bread ripping. He never, he grabs cheese, grabs cheese.
Speaker 3 He never completes a bite, takes, picks up a tomato, half, a third of a tomato, gone.
Speaker 2 He's not even chewing it.
Speaker 3 He's just chewing.
Speaker 3 His mouth is always so. Oh my God.
Speaker 2
A whole kind of pepper goes in or it looks like maybe a green. Another pepper all the way down.
So
Speaker 3 this, so this was said, this was described in the video as Balkan breakfast.
Speaker 2 Created a whole world in my mind.
Speaker 3
And here's what I didn't know about Balkan breakfast, right? Like, I know there's, I know the Balkan region. I actually realized I didn't know technically the bounds of the Balkan region.
Like,
Speaker 3 I know like when I think of the Balkans, my mind goes to 1990s geopolitics. So
Speaker 2 I think of Serbia, I think of Macedonia.
Speaker 3
I think of Albania. I think of Bosnia and Herzegovina.
Like, I think of that region. I don't know what the boundaries are.
I also didn't know what Balkan breakfast was.
Speaker 3 I assumed it meant the food, right? Like the kinds of food. And I thought, oh, is that like a Balkan breakfast, which would be in some part of the Balkan region?
Speaker 3 You just have a bunch of tomato and vegetables and a piece of cheese and a piece of bread, and you kind of make something out of that and eat it all together.
Speaker 3 Come to discover with some light searching that it's also the style and speed of consumption. Can we watch the next video?
Speaker 5 I fucking love this topic. It's like a, it's like a sweater.
Speaker 3 And here is another person eating in the same way, making the same facial expressions, doing the same thing, just housing this food. And there's other videos like this.
Speaker 3 You can search for Albanian breakfast or how Macedonian dads eat breakfast. Kirill,
Speaker 3 who's on our audio team, said, I have relatives
Speaker 3 that eat like that.
Speaker 3 And
Speaker 3
that is perhaps the extent of the deep dive that I did. All right.
And you can rate me however you want to rate me. But here's what I want you to understand as we go back to the first video.
Speaker 3 I have watched this. And can we please play it again? I have.
Speaker 3 I have watched this so many times.
Speaker 3 It's because
Speaker 3 I can't explain and you should just.
Speaker 3
It's the amount he's eating. It's the fact that it never gets faster or slower, that no one bite is completed.
That basically his mouth is a place where a salad is being chopped at all times.
Speaker 3 Sometimes there's more tomato, sometimes more cucumber, sometimes more bean, sometimes more cheese, but he's going and going and going.
Speaker 3 And like the closest thing I can compare it to and the feeling you get is if you've ever listened to Philip Glass's music
Speaker 3 and the way it rises and falls, but never completes, that like it, like you're constantly in this kind of rhythm and music where there's, there's crescendos and there's, there's, there's, there's highs and lows, but it stays in this one band.
Speaker 3 And the thing is, because it's TikTok, the video just starts again.
Speaker 3
If you're not paying close attention, you won't notice that you've gone back to the beginning. And so in a sense, this man is always eating this breakfast.
He's eating this breakfast in perpetuity.
Speaker 3 And I love it.
Speaker 5 It makes, that makes me feel safe. That makes me feel comfortable to know that he's probably right now just having girl, like advanced girl dinner.
Speaker 6
It is advanced girl dinner. If you're listening on the audio, the caption on there is like a snapshot, like just like the band across.
It just says, bro invited me to breakfast.
Speaker 6 And I can't get over the image of a man being like, come join me for breakfast. And then just
Speaker 6 eating in silence with just one hand.
Speaker 3 So, it's so, he consumes
Speaker 3 so much food so quickly. Like, it's in, it's, but like, comfortably, like, like, just like, like, he does it all the time.
Speaker 6 It really is like a Tom and Jerry cartoon when they eat a fish and then out comes the fish skeleton.
Speaker 6
That is exactly what it is. Yeah, listeners at home, if you watch that video three times, Beetlejuice just appears.
We don't know why. It just keeps happening.
Speaker 5 Yo, that's the way to eat. The best meals, in my opinion, are grazing fast over a sink.
Speaker 5 Like those are when I'm like really happiest on like a deep human animalistic level is just shoveling like a grazing pile of foods over a sink.
Speaker 6 Yeah, me with a Costco rotisserie chicken over a sink, game fucking over.
Speaker 3 Are you guys getting any of the content around people saying you can't eat the Costco chickens because of the oil and the plastic?
Speaker 2 Grow up. The microplastics.
Speaker 6 There's microplastics in everything. We have a credit card in our blood flow at all times.
Speaker 2 It's making me stronger, baby.
Speaker 6
Us trying to circumvent microplastics, it's already done. We have Costco cards.
Are the Costco chickens especially good? I've never been to Costco.
Speaker 2 No,
Speaker 3 they're famously good.
Speaker 6 I could argue that a Sam's club is better,
Speaker 6 but a Costco chicken is golden, baby.
Speaker 2 Do you have a membership to be a little bit more? There's still a lot of people.
Speaker 6 I've never been to Costco.
Speaker 6 Costco police sponsor.
Speaker 3 I mean, this is
Speaker 5 it's like, this is a problem with the terminally online scale. There are no problems with the terminal online scale, but this is the kind of terminal I want to be.
Speaker 6
The topic is terminal. The research is not, but I don't think it needs to be in order to be a five.
Does that make sense? Like, I think that how niche it is
Speaker 2 warrants five.
Speaker 6 This supplementary video also warrants five. The fact that he found out it's the style of eating.
Speaker 2
It's both. I think it's both.
It's both.
Speaker 6
It's very, also very opposite to like a cafe style of eating where we're all just taking our time. We can take as much time as possible.
They're like, we want this in our stomach as soon as possible.
Speaker 3 Yeah. There's also just something.
Speaker 3 One thing I also, it's part, one thing that also appealed to me about it too is it's just like, I feel like
Speaker 3 the further men get away from their training,
Speaker 3 the training they receive from their mothers, most likely,
Speaker 2 the more disgusting they become and the more feral. People call it childhood and
Speaker 3 their training.
Speaker 2 They're training. Yeah, they're training.
Speaker 6
Everyone wants to see someone who has that much food. That's me at 3 a.m.
eating Taco Bell.
Speaker 3 Well, I just think it's like maybe there's a part of you that fights that instinct, right, Elijah?
Speaker 3 There's a part of you that's still fighting that instinct to eat incredibly fast without chewing over a sink. But in time, the strictures of society will no longer bind you.
Speaker 3 You'll become yet another
Speaker 3 like embarrassing man.
Speaker 3 And you're just on that path. We all are.
Speaker 6 He's our content babadook.
Speaker 6 The lonely podcaster frees his mind at night over a sink.
Speaker 5 You just want to be in a position where you're eating food really fast and you breathe through your nose while you continue to eat.
Speaker 3 You're just taking bites and you go,
Speaker 6 yeah, that's the best feeling.
Speaker 2 That's what it's good.
Speaker 5 Look, I think this is a like this is where this gets to a five is if you're listening to the show with friends and you go out to, you know, you have a little charcuterie board, Sunday brunch.
Speaker 5 She knows what you're doing, and you just blurt out Balkan dad breakfast.
Speaker 2 Like
Speaker 3 I'm gonna start saying, I'm gonna start saying, I'm gonna balk in breakfast the fuck out of this
Speaker 2 meal. That's good.
Speaker 5
That's good. I'm just giving it a five.
I love it.
Speaker 2 I I love it.
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Speaker 5 Tommy, what were you two online this week?
Speaker 2
Yay! I want to tell you guys a little story about Tucker Carlson and a demon. Let's watch.
Sick. Right-wing golf.
Speaker 2 A sexy demon.
Speaker 9 And I got attacked while I was asleep with my wife and four dogs in the bed and mauled.
Speaker 2 Four dogs?
Speaker 9 Physically mauled.
Speaker 9 And a spiritual attack by a demon?
Speaker 2 Yeah, by a demon.
Speaker 9 Or by something unseen that left
Speaker 9 claw marks on my sides on my so it left physical marks oh they're still there yeah yeah show them a year and a half ago was your wife terrified i know you were i wasn't i was totally confused i woke up and i was couldn't breathe and i thought i was gonna suffocate and i walked around outside and then i walked in and my wife and dogs had not woken up and they're very light sleepers and then i had these terrible pains on my rib cage and on my shoulder and i was just in my boxer shorts and i went and flipped on the lights on the back we don't need that
Speaker 9 four claw marks on on either side underneath my arms and on my left shoulder.
Speaker 2 Fully erect.
Speaker 6 Yeah, right.
Speaker 4 Wait, they were bleeding.
Speaker 2 They're bleeding, yeah. No, no, actual claw marks.
Speaker 2
Okay, so that's Tucker Carlson. He is out in the woods talking to a guy.
There's b-roll of him shooting guns. There's dogs barking in the background.
Speaker 2 The guy he is talking to here is the person who made his January 6th documentary, Patriot Purge. I don't know if you guys remember that.
Speaker 2
It was the one that said Jan 6 was a setup by Antifa, the FBI, the Deep States. Classic.
Other libs.
Speaker 2 So I just want to talk through with you all some possible explanations for what happened with Tucker.
Speaker 6 Because it definitely happened.
Speaker 2 Because it definitely happened.
Speaker 2 I guess if I woke up
Speaker 2 out of a deep sleep in my bed with my four dogs and I had claw marks on me, I might assume I got scratched by my dog.
Speaker 6 Yeah, 100%.
Speaker 6
I thought for a second that I was like, oh, wait, he dreamt that there were dogs. And no, he had four dogs in the bed.
Four dogs. He's like, dogs in the bed.
Speaker 2 He's like, oh, the dogs were sleepy and they're lights, light sleeping dogs. Like, maybe they went back to sleep? That's what the liberal, our secret liberal weapon should be.
Speaker 6 It's just like, release the dogs at night.
Speaker 6 Like, just get them.
Speaker 6 Also, subtopic, documentaries, right-wing or left-wing now these days? See, now that is
Speaker 2 kind of right-wing. I think they're right-wing.
Speaker 6 I think they went wing see now that should be added i am now going to think of a list and i will come back with it of like actual activities next week's to
Speaker 6 yes that's me baby oh so why
Speaker 6 um what's the context why was he talking to this guy like he was he was like here's my ghost story
Speaker 2 you know you've really um right wing plumbed further down that's a right-wing ghost i don't know why he was talking to this guy
Speaker 2 i saw it on twitter if i'm being honest sure um i did wonder though if he was experiencing sleep paralysis,
Speaker 2 which sometimes includes hallucinations, commonly referred to as paralysis demons. Yeah.
Speaker 6 There's usually a person at the bottom of the bed.
Speaker 6 A lot of people, allegorically, will call it the man in the hat.
Speaker 2 Oh, oh, no. So I looked up a bunch of
Speaker 2
there's a bunch of cultural references to night demons all over the world. So in North America, it was called the night hag or the old hag, which is what Elijah's wife calls him as a pet name.
Yep.
Speaker 2 In Japan.
Speaker 2 Because,
Speaker 6 and guess what?
Speaker 6 Elijah hates women for the people in the back. Keep going.
Speaker 2 How do you guys know that?
Speaker 5 It's the hag house.
Speaker 2 That's where we live. That's the hag house.
Speaker 6 Your son is also a hack.
Speaker 2 Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2
Everyone's a hag. It's a great sickle night.
It's for everyone.
Speaker 2 In Japan, they're called Kanashi Bari, which translates to bound or fastened in metal. I guess in Japanese folklore, your paralysis demon is like an angry ghost.
Speaker 2
You have unresolved beef, so they hold you down and they mess with you. In the Middle East, they're called jinn.
They are supernatural beings made of smokeless fire who can control you or possess you.
Speaker 2
In Brazil, it's pisadera. It's an old woman with long fingernails who jumps on victims.
Scandinavian, and they call him Mara. That's where nightmare comes from.
Speaker 2
Tanzania, it's Papawa, which is a bat-winged creature. Anyway, I'll.
Bat-winged. I'll spare you, boy.
There's dozens more of these things. Okay, that's great.
I know.
Speaker 2
I thought it was pretty interesting. Maybe he was having sleep paralysis.
And apparently that comes when you are sleep sleep-deprived, stressed, or having some sort of mental health issue.
Speaker 6 Have you ever had sleep paralysis?
Speaker 2 I don't think so. Have you guys?
Speaker 6 Yes.
Speaker 2 Yes. Tell me.
Speaker 6 I get hallucinations from narcolepsy. Ooh.
Speaker 2 Okay.
Speaker 6
So it was when I was in New York. I was working four jobs.
I would get sleep paralysis all the time. And I would be sleeping underneath a weighted blanket.
Speaker 6 And basically the feeling is that you're awake, but you can't move your body. And you genuinely,
Speaker 6 you have to coach yourself and be like, move your arm, move your arm, move your arm. But at the same time, you're also also having a panic attack because you're like, am I dying?
Speaker 6
Is this what it's like? And then I just thrash myself awake. I've never had the visitation.
Like a lot of people always say, like, oh,
Speaker 6 I would see the old hag. Elijah's.
Speaker 6 I have a counter hypothesis for Tommy about this.
Speaker 2
It didn't happen. Yeah.
That's on my list. That's a good.
Speaker 6
You can't say that there are scratch marks still there and not show the scratch marks. Right.
Yeah. I'm also offended.
He just left out every other time.
Speaker 6 I've been sitting on his ceiling, staring down, ready to scratch his face,
Speaker 6 just ignoring the work that women put in.
Speaker 2 No, but this exactly.
Speaker 6 There's like a 1% chance this didn't happen. And I think we need to entertain that possibility.
Speaker 2 Absolutely. I think there's also a 1% chance that he's fucking a sleep demon.
Speaker 6 Yeah.
Speaker 2
And it's an ongoing thing. Yeah.
This is how you rationalize it.
Speaker 6 Well, someone has to. And so
Speaker 2 demon it is.
Speaker 6
It's the only one that will fuck Dr. Day.
Exactly.
Speaker 5 It's sort of that the guy who was interviewing him wasn't like, can I see the marks? Right. Like, come on.
Speaker 5 The other thing is that's very funny about this video is later the guy's like, well, could it have been like your wife or your dogs? And Tucker Carlson's like, no, my arms were at my side.
Speaker 5 So it couldn't have been them.
Speaker 2 But the implication is like, yes.
Speaker 3 It's like the demon can get through your arms.
Speaker 5 Like you stupid interviewer.
Speaker 2 And so can your arms get your dogs. The dogs can't get through your arms.
Speaker 5 The demon can, though. So that's just.
Speaker 6 His wife doesn't even have arms.
Speaker 2 I also want to entertain the theory of.
Speaker 6 Famously so.
Speaker 2
I also want to maybe just entertain the theory that Tucker has been having a many year long psychotic break. Yes.
And this is a piece of that puzzle. Yes.
Yeah, for sure.
Speaker 2 Because there was another, there was a Long Wall Street Journal story about him a few months back that talked about an incident he recounted to this reporter where he was having a dinner.
Speaker 2 He was hosting former like top U.S. national security people, and someone told him some like thing about the CIA killing American citizens.
Speaker 2 And he said he was so shocked that he then collapsed on his front porch. Two of his vertebrae had caved in, and he had to go to the hospital for emergency surgery.
Speaker 2 So it sounds like this guy's having some issues.
Speaker 2 Manifesting issues.
Speaker 6 All of his fishing trips were just that. He just kept collapsing after hearing secrets.
Speaker 2 The weight of the secrets is too much.
Speaker 2 That's right.
Speaker 5
This one's a little tough to judge for me for how online Tommy is. It's a deep dive into something that was going around, but I did see it.
Dunfi Kat, did you guys see this?
Speaker 6
Yes, but I'm not a good judge for this. I'm not on Twitter, but I did see it on Slack.
And that I was like, this is a true triumph.
Speaker 5 So it's one of those weird moments like where we've all seen it, but like, this is very online. Like, Dave, if you just were to go up to someone and be like, hey, Tucker Carlson, demons.
Speaker 2 scratches. Do you guys know what a Tucker is?
Speaker 2 Like, it's a form, right?
Speaker 6 I think for yeah, four.
Speaker 6 For Tucker Carlson's like Christmas episode, instead of interviewing Kevin Spacey from House of Cards, I think it should be his sleep paralysis, Steven, and Kevin Spacey from House of Cards.
Speaker 5 I'm coming for a five today.
Speaker 2 Okay. I want it.
Speaker 6 I want everyone to know that every day that Elijah and I've walked into the United Center, he turns around and looks at me and goes, you know what it smells like? And then I go, what?
Speaker 2 And he goes, content, baby.
Speaker 5 It's electric. It is thick in the air.
Speaker 6 What gives you hope?
Speaker 5
Content. All right.
So I'll bring the tweet. Kat, will you read this tweet for me? Because I saw it the other day.
Speaker 6 I'm worried there's some lingering tension between the Rizzler and Big Justice. Big Justice was taking petty shots at him left and right on the Los Pollo stream.
Speaker 6 I hope this jealousy doesn't boil over. I would side with the Rizzler if it did.
Speaker 2 3.8 million views.
Speaker 3 I know who the Rizzler is.
Speaker 2 You know who the Rizzler is? Yeah, okay.
Speaker 5 Do you know who any of those people are?
Speaker 6 I think I know Rizzler, but I'm not sure.
Speaker 5 Kat, do you know who these people are?
Speaker 2 He might be the new Rizzler.
Speaker 6 Very vaguely, once again, I have been caught in the content trenches, my own content trenches.
Speaker 2 Okay.
Speaker 3 I may be confusing the Rizzler and the Rizz King.
Speaker 5 Yeah, you may be confusing the Rizzler with Baby Gronk, who Rizzed up Lithby Dunn. And it's asked, is he the Rizzler?
Speaker 2 Right, right.
Speaker 5 A lot of people have made that mistake. No, you're not up on
Speaker 2 the new Rizzler.
Speaker 3 Who's the new Rizzler?
Speaker 5 Let me explain the characters in this drama.
Speaker 5 Okay.
Speaker 5 So I'm going to start wide, because to get to the Rizzler, you first need to understand who Big Justice is. Big Justice and his dad AJ are a father-son content duo.
Speaker 5 They're also known as the Costco guys because of their viral We're Costco guys video. I'm going to skip this for the sake of time of the genre of we're blank people videos, but I'm not sure.
Speaker 2 Caroline Rustin and I have one of We're Buy Girls
Speaker 2 and hit a million views on each platform.
Speaker 6
Me and Caroline Rustin had a We're Buy Girls and hit a million views on each platform. Humble Brad, keep going.
Thanks, Elijah.
Speaker 5 So Big Justice and AJ are always expanding the circle of people and their content, such as Big Justice's sister, Ashley, cousin Angelo, Sally Slices, and many other people and creators, definitely creators, including the Rizzler.
Speaker 5 Any questions before I get on to who the Rizzler is?
Speaker 2 No, keep going. Okay, so I'll just clarify.
Speaker 5 There's the term Riz, and then you say to your friend, like, oh, if you have a lot of Riz, you may be the Rizzler. Now, the Rizzler here has become known as a child TikTok star in his own right.
Speaker 5
His whole shtick is he eats a lot of food. He's like a bigger kid.
And his name is The Rizzler because he has a good Riz face, which is like the Chad face, like the...
Speaker 5 I'm making the face right now.
Speaker 3 Oh my god. Yeah,
Speaker 3 it's the DreamWorks face. It's like a big cartoon snail.
Speaker 5 Yeah, he makes a good Riz face.
Speaker 6 Spot on.
Speaker 2 People love the Riz face.
Speaker 5 Lastly, there's the Los Pollos stream, which is just the least important player here.
Speaker 5 Los Pollos is just an influencer that was doing a stream with AJ, Big Justice, and The Rizzler, because they're doing a lot of collabs right now.
Speaker 6 And to be clear, Big Justice is the adult.
Speaker 5 No, Big Justice is the son.
Speaker 2 AJ is the adult. Okay, okay.
Speaker 3 How old is the son?
Speaker 5 They're probably like seven to eight years old each.
Speaker 2 And they're very Italian American.
Speaker 2
No, too young. My people.
Yeah.
Speaker 2 They'll think.
Speaker 2 I guess I'll do these things.
Speaker 5 The thing to know about AJ and Big Justice's content is that it's really bad.
Speaker 3 It's really, really bad.
Speaker 5 Like, it's people, I've seen people refer to it as like non-tent, which is a great term in my opinion.
Speaker 2
I've never seen that. It's numbers, though.
I don't love it.
Speaker 5 Yes, it's just like them, like, they have this phrase, like, we bring the boom, and like, half of their content is them just singing, we bring the boom, and it just cuts to someone else in their circle.
Speaker 5 So it's be like, Sally Slices, we bring the boom, Cousin Angelo, we bring the boom, Ashley, sister of Big Justice, we bring the boom.
Speaker 6 It's very reductive.
Speaker 5 The point is, there's now a meme
Speaker 5 to really overreact and read into every little micro, micro-social interaction that happens in the big justice AJ universe. And that's what the original tweet was.
Speaker 3 Okay, yeah, so you're five. Five.
Speaker 2 Okay, fucking insane.
Speaker 3 That is, I honestly, I don't know what a six would be.
Speaker 2 Yeah, it would be that.
Speaker 3 It would be that
Speaker 3 that is the most depressing world
Speaker 3 that I've been introduced to on this show over the course of the last year we've been doing it. Damn.
Speaker 5 Every detail is a little darker. Like AJ the dad is a former professional wrestler who failed as a professional wrestler.
Speaker 3 I really dislike kids being part of
Speaker 2 the world of
Speaker 3 YouTube and streaming. I hate it.
Speaker 2 Really uncomfortable.
Speaker 6 We usually never see any of that money.
Speaker 3
It's just it cannot be good for anybody. These kids cannot consent to being part of this They can't understand the consequences for their future for being part of this.
It's not right.
Speaker 3 None of it's right.
Speaker 3 Yuck. You're dead.
Speaker 5 Anyone disagree?
Speaker 5 I'm terminal?
Speaker 2 I know. You guys have any questions about the business?
Speaker 2 No.
Speaker 6 Do you... Wait, what were the petty shots that were being taken?
Speaker 5 Great question, Kat. Thank you.
Speaker 5 So for instance, you know, Rizzler's always eating. He's eating some ice cream on the Los Puellos stream, and he takes a bite and he says, Bro, this is the best ice cream I've ever had.
Speaker 5 To which Big Justice says, You literally said that last night and the night before. And the Rizzler shoots him a look, like,
Speaker 2 and you can just tell, like, the Rizzler is getting ready to fucking snap.
Speaker 2 How old is the Rizzler?
Speaker 3 Like, seven, dude.
Speaker 2 He's so young.
Speaker 2 Their voices are wonderful.
Speaker 3 I don't ever want to see it, Saul.
Speaker 3 It's seven years old.
Speaker 2 Yeah, it is. First of all, can we see his
Speaker 6 Rizzler? Nice graphics package.
Speaker 3 Watch a fucking TV show. What are you doing?
Speaker 6 Dude, he's a dad. He doesn't have time to watch his TV show.
Speaker 3 How are you watching this? Why are you consuming this?
Speaker 5 Okay, listen, liberal elite, succession watcher, HBO Sunday.
Speaker 5 This is Yellowstone.
Speaker 3 This is what Real America is.
Speaker 2 Yellowstone? Yeah. Is this what you're doing?
Speaker 2 Go ahead and poo-poo.
Speaker 3 Yellowstone is Yellowstone. Are you watching Yellowstone?
Speaker 5 This is
Speaker 2
also Yellowstone. You're not up on Yellowstone.
You're talking about
Speaker 2 watching this.
Speaker 5
There's elite media and not elite media. And you consume elite media.
Oh, sorry.
Speaker 2 Are you guys trying to talk while we're having a moment? I just think that
Speaker 6 we could have a sub-podcast and a sub-podcast. No, keep going.
Speaker 2 No, we're not going to have to do that.
Speaker 6 Let's have a subpodcast where you just shit on men's media. Just like Yellowstone, that's such a boy show.
Speaker 2 That's such a reference.
Speaker 5 This is the point I was making about y'all underestimating Trump and going on Theo Vaughn right now.
Speaker 2 I was in your little bubble. Little bubble.
Speaker 5
And you don't understand that. This is real America.
The average voter has an opinion about the Rizzler in Big Justice.
Speaker 2 How many views does that? Oh, wow.
Speaker 3 That is a lot of. That kid does have a great
Speaker 3 DreamWorks face.
Speaker 3
But no, you should be shot out of a cannon for even telling us about this. None of us should know it.
It's the fucking ring.
Speaker 6 I thought I knew something about it. I knew nothing.
Speaker 2 I knew there's nothing.
Speaker 3 I was confusing Rizzler and Riz King. Me too.
Speaker 2
That's, well, you know. There's a difference, though.
I know the Costco dads think, though.
Speaker 3 You know what? I think the reason you have to be a six,
Speaker 3 I think this is what a definition of a six is.
Speaker 3 Your case is so bad, it makes everyone else around you
Speaker 3 more or worse and terminal. I actually think that like you telling us that it's contagious.
Speaker 2 I think this needs to be a new category, which is basically dead, patient zero.
Speaker 3 You brought us into this world, and now our brains are a little bit fucked up because we know that there's a seven-year-old eating ice cream, being berated by big justice.
Speaker 6 So, good job, Elijah. You made the world a worse.
Speaker 2 Look at him.
Speaker 5 Look at him. Sorry for doing the show.
Speaker 2 Sorry for being terminally online. I'm terminally online.
Speaker 3 Bump me up to a six.
Speaker 5 All right, thank you. I'll accept six.
Speaker 2 That's all for today. If you enjoyed this episode and want more, consider joining our Friends of the Pod community.
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Speaker 2 Sign up today at crooked.com/slash friends or through the Pod Save America feed on Apple Podcasts. Thanks for listening, and we'll see you when we get back.
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