Subscriber Exclusive: Terminally Online

The last thing you want to hear when you need your auto insurance most is a robot with countless irrelevant menu options. Which is why with USAA Auto Insurance you'll get great service that is easy and reliable all at the touch of a button.
Get a quote today. Restrictions apply.
USAA! Hey! Hey! John and John here. Our shows are off today, and so you're about to hear a best of Terminally Online, an exclusive show from Crooked subscription, Friends of the Pod.
Terminally Online is often called the loosest show on Crooked, and it's one of the many perks that come with a Friend of the Pod subscription. If you like what you hear, you can listen to new episodes every week when you subscribe to Friends of the Pod.
Subscribing is the best way to support the work we do at Crooked Media. Our mission of building a progressive, independent media company that's a counterweight to the right-wing machine has never been more important.
Never. Never been more important.
Plus, you'll get ad-free episodes of Pod Save America, exclusive shows like What You're About to Hear, and access to Crooked's Discord community where you can process the news with like-minded

listeners or listeners that aren't like-minded.

Just yell at people if you want.

Yeah, kindly.

Respectfully.

For a limited time, we're offering 25% off new annual subscriptions.

Head to crooked.com slash friends or subscribe through the Pod Save America feed on Apple

Podcasts right now.

And now, here it is.

Terminal Online.

Jon Favreau. When were you two online this week? Okay, so we all know RFK Jr.
So someone posted this on X this week. So what we're looking at here is a TikTok video from 2022.
That woman is named Tyler Idol. She's a porn actress.
She's got an OnlyFans account she's on TikTok a lot and on one of her videos there's Robert F. Kennedy Jr.
verified account replying wow you might say he believes in that moon landing and then and there's two little heart smiley emojis yeah the smiley kind of sheepish with the three hearts. Yeah.
So the MAGA person, I think his name is like MAGA Joe or something that put it up. He revealed this.
And then a lot of people said, wow, he's just like a very Ted Cruz liking the porn on 9-11. Remember that? One of the best things that ever

happened. It's ever happened.
I mean, there's

a lot of bad options and very few good options

on 9-11. So

people were wondering why he was liking

this, why he was commenting on this.

And then we got I didn't think we were going to get

an explanation. We got this explanation from RFK

Junior. Three parts.
So complicated.

The first the first tweet is do people

really think I was tick talking in

2022, which two years

is a one and a half. It's a wild

I don't feel... your three parts so complicated the first the first tweet is do people really think i was tick tocking in 2022 which two years ago is a one and a half it's a wild thing to tweet like that's that's your kickoff to this so do people think and then he says the tick tock comment in question was made in 2022 long before i ever had a tick tock account this comment now appears on my account because the account was previously owned by one of the campaign's young social media managers.

And then he said, when I announced my run for the presidency in April of 2023, the team wanted it broadcast on every social platform, including TikTok.

However, TikTok does not allow live streaming for accounts that have less than a thousand followers.

Fewer than. The social media manager decided to transfer his account, which had around 1, 1500 followers to me in order to stream my announcement on tiktok all right what do we think we believe it uh you listen i listen i don't know a lot of words to say it wasn't me yanking the cord also john to your point about him saying in back in 2022 it was uh september of 2020 Q4 Is that 3 or 4 I have no idea what Q

It sounds like Q4. Is that three or four? I have no idea what Qs are.
It sounds like Q4. Thank you.
Yeah, I mean, I'm inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt. No, I'm not.
No, I'm not. Remember when he farted at the dinner too? Yes.
Was that a BBL? Could have been foreign policy research. Wasn't that the dinner? He had a dinner where like several ancient columnists started bickering and then somebody farted.
That was the funniest. Incredible.
So one of the great journalistic institutions left of our time, the Daily Mail, wrote a whole story about this. And the campaign didn't just like it didn't just stop at a young social media manager.
The campaign gave the guy's name. Oh, no.
And picture to the Daily Mail

and a picture of him with RFK Jr.

His name is Rajon Murphy, 33 from Georgia.

And he was like, yeah, I was supposed to set.

And they give this whole explanation.

He's like, I was supposed to set up the account

and I was just moving too fast.

And I didn't think that all of my old comments

would be deleted, but they are.

And so I don't know if he's now, he's the fall guy for this or it's really true. Because when you look for him now, he has no social media accounts anywhere.
So this is a guy who supposedly had like a lot of followers on TikTok, but now he is not on TikTok, Instagram, or anywhere else to be found. Well, I mean, traditionally, RFK Jr.
has been a real straight shooter. You know, you can take him at his word.
Well, I mean, yeah. This is where he's claiming he wasn't doing the shooting, actually.
I will say, like, the video itself was not explicit. Like, it's not a...
It's an embarrassing thing to... But he...
I'm surprised how much attention they drew to it. Yes.
He more forcefully pushed back on this than the leaked video of him saying that COVID targets white people and black people, but not Jews and Chinese people. This is where he draws a line.
This is his line in the sand. I feel like he's really, yeah, what makes me most suspicious about it is that they went so hard at trying to debunk this.
You know, every once in a while, there'll be a story about a corruption scandal or a crime committed by a campaign or congressional office. And some young person will end up in jail because they followed, they just like, they went along with something that they shouldn't have gone along with.
And they thought like, you know, they didn't, they didn their little voice telling them that, like, this is just a job. Don't give up your own reputation for that of a politician.
And in this case, I'm glad this guy fucking set himself on fire for RFK Jr. You deserve everything you're getting.
If you think that this cause is so fucking worthy that you're going to be like, no, no, no. I'm Spartacus.

It's my fucking, it's my wank-like.

I was horny.

I was horny in 2020.

That's mine. No, no.
It's not RFK

Jr. It's hard to get a

handle on RFK's thought pattern.

Huh?

Huh? I got it, Tommy.

That's pretty good.

You don't speak, bro.

It wasn't even do you even know who's in the Super Bowl next weekend super dork of course I do the Jews told me six weeks ago we met in the basement and what a decision we made we met in the basement we were like you know everybody feel good about taking those golds from those Russians and giving them to the Americans. We're like, yes, we need the win.
Oh my gosh. And then we said 49ers versus, you know, obviously Travis's team.
I'm taken aback by the fact that it was just, it's really not that racy a picture at all. Right.
It could be in any catalog for clothing. But her.
Oh yeah, you know, catalogs.'ll tell you, though. We all have catalogs.
Websites. Her OnlyFans is blowing up.
She's now posting videos about being the RFK Junior girl. Yeah.
Someone made out great in this whole thing. There's something to be said about...
Loud jokes, I can't say. Look, I just think...
Something about a grassy knoll. All right, end of thought.
I was going to say, yeah. Avoid that.
Is it a bad time to tell you that I've been liking OnlyFangirls on all of your accounts right now? Thank you. As a social maven I am.
I have a question for you. Is it possible to transfer your TikTok account? Because there's a new handle that just says the Kennedy 2024 campaign.
There's no traces of it being an old... No, it's not.
So he's full of shit.

Yeah.

I love this.

Full of shit and horny.

I was hoping that we'd have a social.

I was hoping we have one of our social media experts here.

I only know this because I, Amelia, our old social maven.

She had to make another account because she wanted to try something completely different.

And so you have to start from the ground up for the most part.

This is bullshit. Bootstrapping it.
2022? Who was TikToking in 2022? Q4. I wasn't even horny in Q3.
Meanwhile, he was... May Q3.
Cut to him shirtless in jeans, lifting weights at gold gym. Anyway, that's what I got.
All right. That was good stuff.
He's still on the campaign, by the way. He's helping...
He's currently helping organize the campaign's Black History Month event great I wonder what George Papadopoulos is up to these days George Papadopoulos I think I don't know I feel like that's just I think it's a two honestly I saw a sign that said Basta today and it made me think of that guy. Basta, remember? Remember? It was our guest.
Basta. Oh, oh, oh, Michael Avenatti.
Michael Avenatti, thank you. Basta.
Michael Avenatti. It's his primary to lose.
All right, I think you're a two. Cool.
Yeah, agree. If you knew about it before RFK pushed back, then you would have been like a four or five.
RFK is terminal, though. That's terminally online.
Oh, yeah. That is true.
Big time. For sure.
It's terminally online before the internet existed. Yeah, that's right.
Sketchers slip-ins are the easiest, most innovative, comfortable footwear ever. You just step in and they're on.
You don't have to bend down. You don't even have to touch them.
They're completely hands-free. Just think, you never have to tie your shoes again.
Sketchers slip-ins are for the whole family. They come in so many styles.
Casual shoes, dress shoes, boots, work footwear, even sandals for the spring and the summer. Experience slip-ins at a Sketchers store, Sketchers.com, or wherever stylish footwear is sold.
The last thing you want to hear when you need your auto insurance most is a robot with countless irrelevant menu options, which is why with USAA Auto Insurance you'll get great service that is easy and reliable all at the touch of a button. Get a quote today.
Restrictions apply. USAA! If you don't know about our flyer deals on Instacart, this message is for you you flyer deals are like strolling through your favorite store looking for deals but instead you're scrolling on your phone because getting delivery doesn't mean you have to miss out on in-store deals like the creamer that doesn't upset your stomach or the pasta sauce that you can't not buy when it's on sale download the instacart app shop flyers and never miss a deal plus get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes john when were you two online this week um i was two online this week i'm going to show you two videos i'm going to show the first video twice i just wanted to show you the first video this is called uh balkan breakfast uh let's watch balkan breakfast is it chicago style and for those listening, here's what I love about it.
So this is a man sitting at a table. He's got some kind of a gold chain, black t-shirt, what did I say? So basically he's sitting in front of a pile of different kinds of vegetables, a tomato, an onion, some kind of glass of beer juice.
I don't know. It looks like juice maybe.
And cheese in a bag. And maybe it could be Fanta.
It does look Fanta color. Yeah, it does look Fanta.
And basically, he's only using one hand, I should say. And he basically just kind of, it's like jazz.
He grabs a bread, bites the bread, eats half a tomato, grabs a cucumber, bites the cucumber, takes some kind of like what looks like a big pepper, takes a big bite of pepper. He doesn't stop.
And he doesn't stop for the entire video. Oh, he's using the other hand right now.
Oh, the other hand came up for bread ripping. He never, he grabs cheese, grabs cheese.
He never completes a bite, takes, picks up a tomato, half, a third of a tomato, gone, gone. He's not even chewing it.
He's just chewing, always chewing it. His mouth is always, oh my God, a whole kind of pepper goes in, or it looks like maybe another pepper all the way down.
So this was described in the video as Balkan breakfast. Created a whole world in my mind.
And here's what I didn't know about Balkan breakfast, right? Like, I know the Balkan region. I actually realized I didn't know technically the bounds of the Balkan region.
Like, I know when I think of the Balkans, my mind goes to 1990s geopolitics. So I think of Serbia, I think of Macedonia, I think of Albania, I think of Bosnia and Herzegovina.
Like, I think of that region. I don't know what the boundaries are.
I also didn't know what Balkan breakfast was. I assumed it meant the food, right? Like the kinds of food.
Oh, is that like a Balkan breakfast, which would be in some part of the Balkan region. You just have a bunch of tomato and vegetables and a piece of cheese and a piece of bread, and you kind of make something out of that and eat it all together.
Come to discover with some light searching that it's also the style and speed of consumption. Can we watch the next video? I fucking love this topic.
It's like a sweater. And here is another person eating in the same way, making the same facial expressions, doing the same thing, just housing this food.
And there's other videos like this. You can search for Albanian breakfast or how Macedonian dads eat breakfast.
Kirill, who's on our audio team, said, I have relatives

that eat like that.

And that is perhaps the extent

of the deep dive that I did, right?

And you can rate me

however you want to rate me.

But here's what I want you to understand

as we go back to the first video.

I have watched this.

And can we please play it again?

I have watched this so many times.

It's because... I can watched this so many times.
It's because-

I can't explain and you should just,

it's the amount he's eating.

It's the fact that it never gets faster or slower,

that no one bite is completed,

that basically his mouth is a place

where a salad is being chopped at all times. Sometimes there's more tomato, sometimes more cucumber, sometimes more bean, sometimes more cheese, but he's going and going and going.
And like the closest thing I can compare it to and the feeling you get is if you've ever listened to Philip Glass's music and the way it rises and falls, never completes that like it like you're constantly

in this kind of rhythm and music where there's there's crescendos and there's there's there's

there's highs and lows but it stays in this one band and the thing is because it's tiktok the

video just starts again you if you're not paying close attention you won't notice that you've gone

back to the beginning and so in a sense this man is always eating this breakfast. He's eating this breakfast in perpetuity.
And I love it. That makes me feel safe.
That makes me feel comfortable to know that he's probably right now just having advanced girl dinner. It is advanced girl dinner.
If you're listening on the audio, the caption on there is like a snapchat like just like the band across it just says bro invited me to breakfast and i can't get over the image of a man being like come join me for breakfast and then just and then sing that eating in silence with just one hand so it's so he consumes so much food so quickly like it's in's, but like comfortably, like just like he does it all the time. It really is like a Tom and Jerry cartoon when they eat a fish and then out comes the fish skeleton bone.
I love that. That is exactly what it is.
Yeah, listeners at home, if you watch that video three times, Beetlejuice just appears. We don't know why.
It just keeps happening. Yo, that's the way's the way to eat the best meals in my opinion are grazing fast over a sink like those are when i'm like really happiest i'm like a deep human animalistic level is just shoveling like a grazing pile of foods over a sink yeah me with a costco rotisserie chicken over a sink game fucking over Are you guys getting any of the content around people saying you can't eat the Costco chickens because of the oil and the plastic? Grow up.
The microplastics, yeah. There's microplastics in everything.
We have a credit card in our blood flow at all times. It's making me stronger, baby.
Us trying to circumvent microplastics, it's already done. We have credit cards.

Are Costco chickens, like, especially good? I've never been to Costco. Oh, they're famously good.
I could argue that a Sam's Club is better, but a Costco chicken is golden, baby. Do you have a membership? There is a lot of microplastics.
I've never been to Costco. Costco, please sponsor me.
I mean this is

it's like this is a problem with a terminal mind scale there are no problems with the terminal mind scale but this is this is the kind of terminal i want to be the topic is terminal the research is not but i don't think it needs to be in order to be a five does that make sense like i i think that how niche it is warrants five this supplementary video also warrants five the fact that he found out it's the style of eating it's both i think it's both it's both it's very also very opposite to like a you know cafe style of eating where we're all just taking our time we can take as as much time as possible. They're like, we want this in our stomach as soon as possible.
Yeah, there's also just something. One thing I also, one thing that also appeals to me about it too is it's just like, I feel like the further men get away from their training, the training they receive from their mothers, most likely, The more disgusting they become and the more feral.

People call that childhood.

They're training.

They're training.

Yeah, they're training.

Everyone wants to see someone has that much food.

That's me at 3 a.m. eating Taco Bell.

Well, I just think it's like maybe there's a part of you that fights that instinct, right, Elijah?

There's a part of you that's still fighting that instinct to eat incredibly fast without chewing over a sink but in time the strictures of society will no longer bind you you know you'll just become you'll become yet another like embarrassing man you're just you're just on that path we all are Babadook. Yeah.
The lonely podcaster frees his mind at night over. You just want to be in a position where you're eating food really fast and you breathe through your nose while you continue to eat.
Just taking bites and you go. Yeah, that's the best feeling.
That's that's's good. Look, I think where this gets to a five

is if you're listening to the show with friends

and you go out to, you know,

you have a little charcuterie board Sunday brunch,

who knows what you're doing,

and you just blurt out,

balkin' dad breakfast.

Like, everyone's talking.

No, I'm going to start saying,

I'm going to start saying,

I'm going to balkin' breakfast the fuck out of this meal. That's good.
That's good. I'm just giving you the five.
I love it. I love it.
Sammy Hagar, the best of all worlds. Finish what we started.
Nine shows, April 30th through May 17th. Tell me live at Park MGM.
Sammy Hagar, Michael Anthony, Joe Cetriani, Kenny Aronoff. Rate this await.

A deep dive into the Van Halen years.

Plus Solo, Montrose, Chicken Foot, and more.

Tickets at Ticketmaster.com.

Sammy Hagar.

It's time to finish what we started in Las Vegas residency.

If you share a fridge with someone, Instacart can make grocery shopping so much easier. With Family Carts, you'll share a cart and each add what you need.
Between the two of you, odds are you'll remember everything. So no more milkless cereal.
Minimize the stress of the weekly shop with Family Carts. Download the Instacart app and get delivery in as fast as 30 minutes.
Enjoy $0 delivery fees on your first three orders. Service fees apply for three orders in 14 days.
Excludes restaurants. Sometimes you have to choose between a great deal or a great experience.
Other prepaid providers stick you with slow networks and price hikes. But with U.S.
Cellular Prepaid, getting a great deal doesn Tucker Carlson and a demon. Let's watch.
Sick. Right wing goes.
A sexy demon. Then I got attacked while I was asleep with my wife and four dogs in the bed and mauled.
Four dogs? Physically mauled. In a spiritual attack by a demon? Yeah, by a demon.
Or by something unseen that left... Is that right? ...claw marks on my sides, on my...
So it left physical marks? Oh, they're still there. Yeah, yeah.
Show them! A year and a half ago. Was your wife terrified? I know you were.
I wasn't. I was totally confused.
I woke up and I couldn't breathe and I thought I was going to suffocate. And I walked around outside and then I walked in and my wife and dogs had not woken up and they're very light sleepers.
And then I had these terrible pains on my rib cage and on my shoulder and I was just in my boxer shorts and I went and flipped on the light in the bathroom. We don't need that.
Four claw marks on either side underneath my arms and on my left shoulder. Fully erect.
Yeah, right. Wait, they were bleeding.
They were bleeding, yeah. No actual claw marks.
Okay, so that's Tucker Carlson. He is out in the woods talking to a guy.
There's B-roll of him shooting guns. There's dogs barking in the background.
The guy he is talking to here is the person who made his January 6th documentary, Patriot Purge. I don't know if you guys remember that.
It was the one that said Gen 6 was a setup by Antifa, the FBI, the deep states. Classic.
Other libs. So I just want to talk through with you all some possible explanations for what happened with Tucker.
Because it definitely happened? Because it definitely happened. Okay.
I guess if I woke up out of a deep sleep in my bed with my four dogs and i had claw marks on me i might assume i got scratched by my dog yeah 100 i thought for a second that i was like oh wait he dreamt that there were dogs and no he had four dogs in the bed dogs it's like dogs in a bed he's like oh the dogs were sleepy and they're light sleeping dogs. Maybe they went back to sleep? That's what the liberal our secret liberal weapon should be.
It's just like, release the dogs at night. Just get them.
Also, subtopic, documentaries. Right wing or left wing now these days? See, now that is kind of right wing.
I think they're right wing. I think they went right wing.
See, now that should be added. I am now going to think of a list and I will come back with it of actual activities.
Next week's TO. Yes, that's me, baby.
Errol Morrill, get your fucking heart out, buddy. What's the context? Why was he talking to this guy? He was like, here's my ghost story.
You've, you've really plumbed further depth. That's a right wing ghost.
I don't know why he was talking to this guy. I saw it on Twitter, if I'm being honest.
I did wonder, though, if he was experiencing sleep paralysis, which sometimes includes hallucinations, commonly referred to as paralysis demons. Yeah.
There's usually a person at the bottom of the bed. A lot of people allegorically will call it the man in the hat.
Oh, no. So I looked up a bunch of cultural references to night demons all over the world.
So in North America it was called the night hag or the old hag, which is what Elijah's wife calls him as a pet name in Japan. Because, and guess what? Elijah hates women for the people in the back.
Keep going. How do you guys know that? It's the hag house.
That's where we live. That's the hag house.
Your son is also a hag. Yeah, we're the hags.
Everyone's a hag. It's a great sitcom idea.
Hacks for everyone.

In Japan, they're called kanashibari,

which translates to bound or fastened in metal.

I guess in Japanese folklore,

your paralysis demon is like an angry ghost.

You have unresolved beef,

so they hold you down and they mess with you.

In the Middle East, they're called jinn.

They are supernatural beings made of smokeless fire.

They can control you or possess you. In Brazil, pisadera, it's an old woman with long fingernails who jumps on victims.
Scandinavia, and they call them Mara. That's where nightmare comes from.
Tanzania, it's Papawa, which is a bat-winged creature. Anyway, I'll spare you more.
There's dozens more of these things. Okay, that's great.
I don't know. I thought it was pretty interesting.
Maybe you was having sleep paralysis, and apparently that comes when you are sleep-deprived, stressed, or having some sort of mental health issue. Have you ever had sleep paralysis? I don't think so.
Have you guys? Yes. Yes.
I get hallucinations from narcolepsy. Ooh, okay.
So it was when I was in New York. I was working four jobs.
I would get sleep paralysis all the time, and I would be sleeping underneath a weighted blanket blanket and basically the feeling is that you're awake but you can't move your body and you genuinely you have to coach yourself and be like move your arm move your arm move your arm but at the same time you're also having a panic attack because you're like am i dying is this what it's like and then you i just thrash myself awake i've never had the visitation like a lot of people always say like oh i would see the old hag elijah's um i have a counter hypothesis for tommy about this um it didn't happen yeah that's on my list that's a good if you can't say that there are scratch marks still there and not show the scratch marks right i'm also offended he just left out every other time i've been sitting on his ceiling staring down ready to scratch his face um just ignoring the work that women put in no but this exactly there's like a one percent chance this didn't happen and i think we need to entertain that possibility absolutely i think there's also a 1% chance that he's fucking a sleep demon.

Yeah.

And it's an ongoing thing.

Yeah.

And this is how

you rationalize it.

Well, someone has to

and so demon it is.

It's the only one

that will fuck Tucker.

Exactly.

It's so important

that the guy

who was interviewing him

wasn't like,

can I see the marks?

Right.

Like, come on.

The other thing is

that's very funny about this video is later the guy's like like, well, could it have been your wife or your dogs? And Tucker Carlson's like, no, my arms were at my side. So it couldn't have been them.
But the implication is like, yeah. That makes no sense.
Like, the demon can get through your arms. Like, you stupid interviewer.
And so can your wife. Like, the dogs can't get through your arms.
The demon can so that's just his wife doesn't even have arms i also want to entertain the theory famously so i also want to maybe just entertain the theory that tucker has been having uh a many year long psychotic break yes and this is a piece of that puzzle yeah for sure um because there was another there's a long wall street journal story about him a few months back that talked about an incident he recounted to this reporter where he was having a dinner, he was hosting former, like, top U.S. national security people and someone told him some, like, thing about the CIA killing American citizens and he said he was so shocked that he then collapsed on his front porch.
Two of his vertebrae had caved in and he had to go to the hospital for emergency surgery. So it sounds like the guy's having some issues.
Some issues. All of his fishing trips were just that.
He just kept collapsing after hearing secrets. That's right.
The weight of the secrets was too much. That's great.
This one's a little tough to judge for me for how online Tommy is. It's a deep dive into something that was going around, but I did see it.
Dunphy, Kat, did you guys see this? Yes, but I'm not a good judge for this. I'm not on Twitter, but I did see it on Slack.
And that, I was like, this is a true triumph. So it's one of those weird moments where we've all seen it, but this is very online.
If you just were to go up to someone and be like, hey, Tucker Carlson, demons, scratches. Do you guys know what I'm talking about? It's a four, right? I think for Tucker Carlson's Christmas episode, instead of interviewing Kevin Spacey from House of Cards, I think it should be his sleep paralysis demon and Kevin Spacey from House of Cards.
I'm coming for a five today. Okay.
I want it. I want everyone to know that every day that Elijah and I have walked into the United Center, he turns around and looks at me and goes, you know what it smells like? And then I go, what? And he goes, content, baby.
It's electric. It is thick in the air.
What gives you hope? Content. All right.
So I'll bring the tweet. Kat, will you read this tweet for me? Because I saw it the other day.
I'm worried there's some lingering tension between the Rizzler and Big Justice. Big Justice was taking petty shots at him left and right on the Los Pollo stream.
I hope this jealousy doesn't boil over. I would side with the Rizzler if it did.
3.8 million views. I know who the Rizzler is.
You know who the Rizzler is? Yeah. Okay.
Do you know who any of those people are? I think I know Rizzler, but I'm not sure. Kat, do you know who these people are? I think he might be the new Rizz King.
Like, very vaguely, once again, I have been caught in the content trenches, my own content trenches. Okay.
I may be confusing the Rizzler and the Rizz King. Yeah, you may be confusing the Rizzler with Baby Gronk, who Rizzed up Livy Dunn and is asked, is he the Rizzler? Right, right, right, right.
A lot of people have made that mistake. No, you're not up on the new Rizzler.
Who's the new Rizzler? Let me explain the characters in this drama. Okay.
So I'm going to start wide, because to get to the Rizzizzler you first need to understand who big justice is big justice and his dad aj are a father-son content duo they're also known as the costco guys because of their viral we're costco guys video i'm going to skip this for the sake of time of the genre of we're blank people videos, but I'm skipping it.

Caroline Reston and I have one of we're bi girls.

Driving by.

They're awful.

Driving by.

It hit a million views on each platform.

Wait, what are you saying?

Me and Caroline Reston had a we're bi girls. It hit a million views on each platform.
Humble brag. Keep going.
Thanks, Elijah. So Big Justice and AJ are always expanding the circle of people and their content, such as Big Justice's sister Ashley, cousin Angelo, Sally Slices, and many other people and creators, definitely creators, including the Rizler.
Any questions before I get on to who the Rizler is? No, keep going. Okay, so I'll just clarify.
Sally Slices. There's the term Riz, and then you say to your friend, like, oh, if you have a lot of Riz, you may be the Rizler.
Now, the Rizler here has become known as a child TikTok star in his own right. His whole shtick is he eats a lot of food.
He's like a bigger kid. And his name is the Rizler because he has a good Riz face, which is like the Chad face.
Like the, I'm making the face right now. Oh, my God.
Yeah, it's the DreamWorks face. It's like a big cartoon snail.
Yep. Yep.
Yeah, he makes a good

Riz face. Spot on.
People

love the Riz face. Lastly, there's

the Los Poyos stream, which is

just the least important player here.

Los Poyos is just an influencer that was doing

a stream with AJ, Big

Justice, and the Rizler.

Because they're doing a lot of collabs right

now. And to be clear, Big Justice is the adult.

No, Big Justice is the son.

AJ is the adult. Okay, okay.

How old is the son?

Thank you. I guess I'll do these hands.
The thing to know about AJ and Big Justice's content is that it's really bad. It's really, really bad.
I've seen people refer to it as non-tent, which is a great term in my opinion. I've never heard that.
I love it. Yes.
It's just like them, they have this phrase, we bring the boom, and half of their content is them just singing, we bring the boom, and it just cuts to someone else in their circle. So it's be like, Sally slices, we bring the boom.
Cousin Angelo, we bring the boom. Ashley, sister of Big Justice, we bring the boom.
It's very reductive. The point is there's now a meme.
Oh my God. To really overreact and read into every little micro, micro social interaction that happens in the Big justice AJ universe.
And that's what the original tweet was. Okay.
Yeah. So you're five.
Five. Okay.
Fucking insane. That is, I honestly, I don't know what a six would be.
Yeah. But it would be that.
It would be that. I think so.
The most depressing world that I've been introduced to on this show over the course of the last year we've been doing it.

Damn.

Every detail is a little darker.

Like AJ, the dad, is a former professional wrestler who failed as a professional wrestler.

I really dislike kids being part of the world of YouTube and streaming. I hate it.
Really uncomfortable. They usually never see any of that money.
It's just, it cannot be good for anybody. These kids cannot consent to being part of this.
They can't understand the consequences for their future for being part of this. It's not right.
None of it's right. Yuck.
You're dead. Anyone disagree? I'm terminal? I, no.
yuck you're dead anyone disagree I'm terminal I know I know do you know do you what were the petty shots are being taken great question Kat thank you so for instance you know the Rizzler is always eating he's eating some ice cream on the Los Pollo stream and he takes a bite and he says, bro, this is the best ice cream I've ever had. To which Big Justice says, you literally said that last night and the night before.
And the Rizzler shoots him a look like, and you can just tell like, the Rizzler is getting ready to fucking snap. How old is the Rizz? seven dude he's so young their voices are so high I don't ever want to see it Saul it's seven years old first of all nice graphics package watch a fucking TV show what are you doing? he's a dad he doesn't have time to watch his TV show how are you watching this? Why are you consuming this? Okay, listen, liberal elite, succession watcher, HBO Sunday Night.
American pastoral. This is Yellowstone.
This is what real America is watching. This is Yellowstone? Yeah.
Is this what Yellowstone is? Go ahead and poo-poo it. Yellowstone is Yellowstone.
Are you watching Yellowstone? This is also Yellowstone. I'm not up on Yellowstone.
It's kind of a demoiselle. You're watching this.
There's elite media and not elite media. And you consume elite media.
I know. Sorry, are you guys trying to talk while we're having a thing? I just think we could have a sub-podcast and a sub-podcast.
No, keep going. No, what were you guys talking about? Let's have a sub-podcast where you just shit on men's media.
Just like Yellowstone. That's such a boy show.
Such a boy show. This is the point I was making about y'all underestimating Trump and like going on Theo Vaughn right now.

Oh my God.

Little bubble, little bubble.

And you don't understand that.

This is real America.

The average voter has an opinion about the Rizler and Big Justice.

How many views does that?

Oh, wow.

That kid does have a great DreamWorks face.

But no, you should be shot out of a cannon for even telling us about this.

None of us should know it.

It's the fucking ring.

I thought I like knew something about it.

I knew nothing.

I knew nothing.

I was confusing Rizler and Riz King.

Me too.

I'll see you next time. But no, you should be shot out of a cannon for even telling us about this.
None of us should know it. It's the fucking ring.
I thought I knew something about it. I knew nothing.
I knew nothing. I was confusing Rizzler and Riz King.
Me too. Well, you know.
There's a difference, though. I know the Costco dads thing, though.
You know what? I think the reason you have to be a six, I think this is what a definition of a six is. Your case is so bad, it makes everyone else around you more worse than terminal.
I actually that like you telling us that it's contagious you're you I think this needs to be a new categories which is basically dead patient zero you you you brought us into this world and now our brains are a little bit fucked up because we know that there's a seven year old eating ice cream being berated by big justice so good good job, Elijah. You made the world of my life.
He's been crazy again. Look at him.
Look at him. Sorry for doing the show.
Sorry. Sorry for being termally online.
No, it's good. Not termally online.
I'm bumping up to a six. All right.
Thank you. I'll accept.
Six. That's all for today.
If you enjoyed this episode and want more, consider joining our Friends of the Pod community. As a reminder, we're offering 25% off new annual subscriptions for a limited time only.

It's the best way to support the work we do at Crooked Media.

Sign up today at crooked.com slash friends or through the Pod Save America feed on Apple Podcasts.

Thanks for listening, and we'll see you when we get back. Loving or leaving is loving or leaving Straight, straight, tight Loving or leaving is loving or leaving

Let's break the old, old size We'll be right back. AMGM, Sammy Hagar, Michael Anthony, Joe Cetriani, Kenny Arnaud, break this away.
A deep dive into the Van Halen years. Plus Solo, Montrose, Chicken Foot, and more.
Tickets at Ticketmaster.com. Sammy Hagar.
It's time to finish what we started in Las Vegas residency. Sometimes you have to choose between a great deal or a great experience.
Other prepaid providers stick you with slow networks and price hikes.

But with U.S. Cellular Prepaid, getting a great deal doesn't mean sacrificing a great experience.

U.S. Cellular Prepaid offers great nationwide 5G coverage without any gimmicks or hidden fees.

And now you can get a free Samsung Galaxy A16 5G to make a great experience even better.

Stay connected without making sacrifices.

Terms apply. Visit uscellular.com for details.