What a Weekday: A Tough Monday at the Justice Department

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Restrictions apply. Any lingering thoughts for Hassan Piker since we're over here on YouTube? Oh, I just challenged him to a no.
You fucked up my TikTok algorithm, by the way. I'm glad I did.
So I had a great conversation with this on really enjoyed it. Fair number of responses calling me some kind of sniveling worm and that kind of thing doesn't really bother me.
Those were from Sarah's dummy accounts. That's fine.
There was one person and and I started seeing it in my feed, too. I asked a son because he had posted a selfie, like a shirtless selfie showing his workout progress, which is great.
And I was just joking about, you know, Trump wins in your show, all that kind of thing. And we talked about working out, and I said that I was on Manjaro.
I asked him if he did Pilates, whatever. And somebody posted something that actually like went pretty far saying that like my that I was sort of snide about Hassan working out.
And then I brought up Manjaro to say, oh, you put in effort. I don't put in effort.
And that actually speaks to the core failures of liberalism. and of all, I can't believe it bugged me, but it's so fucking stupid because A, like I was just joking.
B, the conversation that immediately goes into the value of talking about working out and, and like how people are looking for community around how to live a better life. Also, I work out so fucking hard and make that It made me so crazy.
You think I'm just fucking loafing around? God damn it, I am 42 years old. I do so much Pilates.
I am like keeping up with those fucking gay weho guys that are like 26 at Barry's. I'm running fucking fast on the treadmill.
How dare you? Challenge him to an arm-wrestling competition.

Challenge him to a foot race.

I feel like that makes you feel better.

That might have been like a weird AI comment

because I saw videos about that too,

and it comes out of nowhere

because that's such a small part of the conversation.

It was so strange.

But like, no, I was not belittling

or being snide about Hassan's work.

I was joking about why he posts selfies

of himself looking

hot, not about the working

out. We had a good conversation

about working out and

no, like I was not

saying, ha, anyone who actually

puts in the work is stupid

for not taking an experimental

pancreas medicine. You just

are a humorless scold who was

looking for reasons to dislike me.

There are just so many better reasons to dislike you.

That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying.

It's on the top hundred reasons to dislike you.

I agree. I agree.

Welcome back. I'm Jon Lovett, joined today by my trusty team, Kendra Halley and Lazarus.
Whoa! It's so good. Thank you.
Howie's really good. How's it good? What do they call it? It's the roar, the battle cry.
Oh, okay, great. Thank you.
Let's get into it. What a weekday.
After months of repeatedly pledging that he would not pardon his son, Hunter, President Biden on Sunday pardoned his son, Hunter. Give me the battle cry.
Biden explained to send Hunter to prison would be immoral as it would deprive the world of his art. Biden issued a full and unconditional pardon to spare Hunter a possible prison sentence for his federal felony gun and tax convictions.
It's a messy situation, but I can't help but be happy for Hunter, who will finally be reunited with his illegal gun. And now no son ever in the history of the world has been under more pressure to really nail that Christmas gift for his dad this year.
I mean, he really got to knock it out of the park. Oh, a robe with my initials on it? Thank you, son.
As I've been saying to you for decades now, you shouldn't have done that. The sweeping pardon also covers any other offenses against the United States which he has committed or may have committed or taken part in during the period from January 1st, 2014 through December 1st, 2024.

We now go to footage of how Hunter spent his Thanksgiving weekend.

That's footage from Grand Theft Auto.

The president said in a Sunday night statement that he decided to issue the pardon because

he believed the charges against his son were politically motivated.

Can you see that? Footage from Grand Theft Auto. The president said in a Sunday night statement that he decided to issue the pardon because he believed the charges against his son were politically motivated.
Continued Biden, I can't stand for my son to be hurt politically. Everyone knows a parent's role is to only scar their children emotionally.
Here's what Biden said. The charges in his case came about only after several of my political opponents in Congress instigated them to attack me and oppose my election.
No reasonable person who looks at the facts of Hunter's cases can reach any other conclusion that Hunter was singled out only because he is my son. And that's wrong.
Biden went on to say there has been an effort to break Hunter, who has been five and a half years sober, even in the face of unrelenting attacks and selective prosecution. In trying to break Hunter, they've tried to break me and there's no reason to believe it will stop here.
Crazy that they went to all that effort to break Joe Biden, only to get one ups by the passage of time. Little do they know that all it would take to break Biden is stairs.
After his pardon was announced, Hunter Biden issued his own statement saying, I have admitted and taken responsibility for my mistakes during the darkest days of my addiction, mistakes that have been exploited to publicly humiliate and shame me and my family for political sport. I will never take the clemency I have been given today for granted and will devote the life I have rebuilt to helping those who are still sick and suffering.
Added Hunter, I'm glad people know I got a lap dance to a Fleet Foxes song though. I stand by that.
I think he should. Donald Trump reacted in a true social post writing, does the pardon given by Joe to Hunter include the J6 hostages who have now been imprisoned for years? Such an abuse and miscarriage of justice.
It didn't include them, obviously. That wouldn't make any sense.
It just doesn't make any sense. Iowa Senator Chuck Grassley wrote on X, I'm shocked President Biden pardoned his son Hunter because he said many times he wouldn't and I believed him.
Shame on me. Wrong, Chuck.
That would only be if Joe pardoned his son twice. Then it's shame on you.
It's still just shame on him. He's only been fooled once.
Right. It's a shame Grassley sucks because he might be the finest poster of his generation.
Here's his tribute to his vacuum cleaner on the day before Thanksgiving. He said, I usually send this picture of faithful Beth before starting the drudgery of getting farmhouse ready for the family coming for Thanksgiving.
But since Beth is 40, 50 years old, I'm sending when I'm done. Faithful Beth delivered.
Faithful Beth. Faithful Beth.
Faithful. Look at that beautiful vacuum You know how how to make things i will say those things really used to last yeah we should do that part again for sure for sure well we made it we we we all collectively chose cheaper and cheaper versions of things correct i'm not absolving us no it's just sort of we all this.
It really is like a good example of like, we, you know, we like all collectively choose the chain restaurants and then the local places close. Well, you sure do.
I'm part of it. For sure.
You said you were still using a 30 year old fridge. That's a long life.
That's true. And now it's fucking dead.
But you got 30 years. Someone got 30 years out of it.
Someone got 30 years out of it. It wasn't me.
Vanessa Hudgens had a great thing. Yeah, Vanessa Hudgens got some good.
Gary Oldman got some good years out of it. She bought it the day she was born.
What? She bought it the day she was born. Yeah.
Look at that beautiful vacuum cleaner. I like the color way.
The beige and red. People have been noting.
I saw a few people talking about this in social media, that we're entering an ugly aesthetic. The next few years are going to be an ugly era.
The combination of AI and Trumpian politics, there's going to be a kind of... I feel like we've been in one.
Yeah, I wonder, is it just sort of like the AI aesthetic will become fashion aesthetic? Is that what they're saying? We've been into that millennial yeah that's been forever thing which i think is for some people going towards more of a maximalist right now which i'm okay with yeah me too but i don't know what the counterpoint to that is like what is going to be the tuscan uh the tuscan farm kitchen right right right what's going to date it's exciting to think about yeah i always think it's interesting to think about like what what you like. I'm like more interested in like what do I not see right now that will look dated to me? What do I like right now that I will feel wrong about or my opinion of will change? And what's timeless? And it's hard to know.
Yeah. It's hard to know.
House Speaker Mike Johnson posted trust in our justice system has been almost irreparably damaged by the Bidens and their use and abuse of it. No, the trust was already damaged.
The damage is why Biden said, fuck it. It's like when your phone screen is already cracked, so you start using it in the pool.
Former Trump attorney Jenna Ellis posted, Joe Biden pardoned three turkeys this week. Folks, this pardon power is for the birds.
Three turkeys. Democrats, meanwhile, were divided by the controversial pardon.
Colorado Governor Jared Polis was amongst the scornful chorus writing on X, while as a father, I certainly understand President Joe Biden's natural desire to help his son by pardoning him. I'm disappointed that he put his family ahead of the country.
This is a bad precedent that could be abused by later presidents and will sadly tarnish his reputation. Yes, and I'm sure that's what later presidents were scrupulously waiting for.
A precedent. Trump waiting around for a president.
Kids, kids, we can finally do whatever we want. But former Attorney General Eric Holder said the pardon was warranted, writing no U.S.
attorney would have charged this case given the underlying facts. After a five-year investigation, the facts as discovered only made that clear.
But President Biden didn't just pardon his son for the crimes related to his convictions and plea deal, the tax and gun charges. President Biden issued a blanket pardon covering a whole decade worth of crimes by his son.
Exciting, added Holder. Ask yourself a vastly more important question.
Do you really think Kash Patel is qualified to lead the world's preeminent law enforcement investigative organization? Obvious answer, hell no. That's true.
It is a more important question. And it's the question we ought to be talking about.
But President Biden had other plans. President Biden's statement concluded, here's the truth.
I believe in the justice system. But as I have wrestled with this, I also believe raw politics has infected this process and it led to a miscarriage of justice.
And once I made this decision this weekend, there was no sense in delaying it further. I hope Americans will understand why a father and a president would come to this decision.
But there was a little sense in delaying it further, Joe. There's a little sense in delaying it until perhaps Christmas Eve or New Year's Eve or after you've pardoned a dozen other people who are not your children, but who may be targeted by the incoming administration or after Hunter spent one night in jail where he could have been visited by three ghosts, all of whom told Hunter that he ought to finally form that bluegrass band he's talked about because his voice is amazing.
Fucking ghosts. That's what he learns from these ghosts? What a shame.
Donald Trump announced Kash Patel as his pick for FBI director on Saturday. Biden announced his son's pardon on Sunday.
So now we have to talk about both. Look, I get why President Biden pardoned his son.
And I get why he'd want to make it a broader pardon for fear that the next administration might target his son because his influence peddling and sleazy dealings, while never tied directly to Joe Biden, are a great what about the Democrats talking point to use when downplaying Trump's open, brazen corruption. But Trump and his allies have threatened generals like Mark Milley, members of Congress like Nancy Pelosi and Adam Schiff and Liz Cheney, Anthony Fauci, journalists, intelligence officials, prosecutors, judges.
The list goes on and on. If Joe Biden believes in using the pardon power to stop political prosecutions, if that's the principle, then so be it.
There are more papers to sign. But if that starts and ends with Hunter, it's just a bullshit statement to paper over saying fuck it.
And by the way, I respect saying fuck it. You're one foot out the door, not just of the presidency, but of life itself.
You have this ridiculous pardon power. You were pushed out of the race, a race you believed you could win by people you once trusted.
She loses. Everyone blames you anyway.
You leave Washington feeling like all you have is your family. You don't want to die regretting your failure to act while you had the chance.
You just had your last Thanksgiving as president and you know it came up a dinner. So you say, fuck it.
I get it. I'd say fuck it, too.
But where's the fuck it for the rest of us? Meanwhile, Trump announced on Saturday that he had selected loyalist Cash Patel, a self-described enemy of the deep state, to lead the FBI. Patel has vowed that for his first trick, he'll somehow figure out a way to shoot Dr.
King again. I don't know about that.
This is beside the point, but announcing anything newsworthy over Thanksgiving is un-American. I found out Kash Patel was nominated to be our next FBI director while trying to get my father to stop calling the customer helpline for a 20-year-old oven.
Let those poor people rest. We'll get takeout if we have to.
It's clicking. I know it's clicking.
Nominating Patel to the post would require ousting Christopher Wray, a Republican first appointed by Trump, who still has three years remaining in his 10 year term. Sure.
Wray is a Republican appointed by a Republican. But will he open an investigation into Liz Cheney for the crime of being a huge bitch? No, he won't.
Patel might. Patel, who worked on Trump's National Security Council before becoming chief of staff to the acting defense secretary, has previously called for the purging of employees at the FBI who refused to support Trump's agenda.

Said Patel in a September interview, I'd shut down the FBI Hoover building on day one and reopen it the next day as a museum of the deep state.

Did somebody say Night at the Museum sequel? Well, I can already picture Ben Stiller being chased around by David Koresh. That's exciting.
I just really think someone should hold him to that because I'd like to see how that the timeline on that. Yeah, I mean, it shouldn't be our main takeaway, but it doesn't seem like Patel realizes that curating and operating a museum is a lot of work.
Patel also issued this threat against journalists in a 2023 interview with Steve Bannon. We will go out and find the conspirators not just in government but in the media.
Yes, we're going to come after the people in the media who lied about American citizens, who helped Joe Biden rig presidential elections. We're going to come after you.
Whether it's criminally or civilly, we'll figure that out. But yeah, we're putting you all on notice.
And Steve, this is why they hate us. This is why we're tyrannical.
This is why we're going to come after you whether it's criminally or civilly we'll figure that out but yeah we're putting you all on notice and steve this is why they hate us this is why we're tyrannical this is why we're dictators stay with that for one moment let's dig into that you're almost you're right you're right there you're on the verge of a breakthrough but we're out of time we'll have to pick that up next week let's not forget to start there next week cash you're so close. You start a media company in 2017.
You

name it Crooked Media. It's a wry little joke.
Then all of a sudden it's 2025. Cash Patel is

FBI director. And it's like, should he have spent like 10 more minutes in the brainstorm?

Anyway, I find it hard to believe a guy as handsome as Cash Patel would abuse his power

or target anyone who doesn't deserve it. Anybody that hot and that charming, I don't think we have

anything to worry about. He's a good guy.
And I'm on the record. Kash Patel is a good guy.
Kash Patel is a good guy. Please retweet.
But for whatever reason, a bunch of people who should be higher on the enemies list, as far as I'm concerned, disagree. Former Trump National Security Advisor John Bolton compared Patel to Joseph Stalin's head of secret police, telling reporters the Senate should reject this nomination 100 to zero.
When John Bolton starts sounding like a resistance wine mom, you know we're in for a rough fucking ride. Trump's pick of Patel once again raises questions that Democrats, namely me, struggle with during the election and now must confront as the opposition, how do we contend with a Trump administration that's both deeply ridiculous and dangerous? Which fights are critical and which are distractions? Which smoke is coming from a wildfire and which is just a cyber truck that blew up outside a crypto only gentleman's club? On the one hand, you've got RFK Jr.
showering in the background while his wife, Cheryl Hines, promotes beauty products for Black Friday with the hashtag M-A-H-A, make America healthy again. No, you can't take a shower.
I'm doing a video. No, no, no, I'm doing, you've got to give me a second, I'm doing a video.
And sure, we all beat off to it, but to what end? Can I just, it's not the most important thing about Cheryl Hines now basically becoming a right wing grifter and doing Make America Healthy Again merch. She's in full glam.
The shower is in full view. So he he did not.
This is fake. Oh, yeah.
I think she's acting. I think she's acting, but it's more like she's phenomenal at it.
But it's also like it's not even it's not even a successful execution of the I was trying to film a video. And then my husband was showering behind me because the setup.
She's like doing this like, oh, no, R.K. Jr.
is showering behind me. But like you didn't you just wanted to make a video with him showering behind you.
You could have just done that. You have to pretend he's doing something to interrupt you.
That's ridiculous. I do think it's interesting that R.F.K.'s whole thing I know that everyone wants to fuck me, RFK.
It's such an odd tack to take now. You know what I mean? They're such unappealing people.
This whole, it's just like, this is so, I don't understand who this is for. I don't, I don't understand who you see this.

Like, huh, delightful.

Bye-bye, bye-bye, bye-bye.

I guess.

I do agree.

It's like, it hits the same note over and over again.

Like, this is like, this is TikTok.

Like, this is, we've already done this.

Like, the idea that this is happening, it's like, I feel like you're catching the end of it.

Well, it's on reels, so.

Well, that's who we need to know.

You're right.

Okay. I will say 60% off everything is a genuinely good deal.
Yeah. Everything is 20% off.
That's a great deal. That's true.
60% finally. Oh, Bobby.
I don't know what's in that stuff. I mean, I'm not going to buy it, but if I ever were, today's the day.
Worm water. It's also time to admit to ourselves that Cheryl Hines isn't trapped or talking to divorce lawyers or just barely tolerating him for tax reasons.

Cheryl Hines is into this. Melani isn't replaced.
Usha isn't conflicted. Usha might be a little conflicted.
No, don't. No.
Kennedy also posted a clip of himself working out shirtless to Eye of the Tiger. OK, Robert.
OK, Robert. and sure we all

beat up to it

this is what you

should be doing

I'm sorry

you have to fight

that guy

he's a good chick

you have to work out

in your jeans

I don't want

you keep saying

I have to fight someone

I don't want to fight

anyone

I know

nobody wants to fight

anyone

I'm sorry

I just want to do

let's see who has

a faster mile

a foot race

I think that's fine

Thank you. I have to fight someone.
I don't want to fight anyone. I know.
Nobody wants to fight anyone. I'm sorry.
I just want to do. Let's see who has a faster mile.
A foot race. I think that's fine.
I'm in great shape. I work out really hard.
Pilates like four days a week. Faster mile on the tread or faster mile on the street? Well, I haven't done the street in a long time, but I can do the street.
I mean, I'm faster. Hollywood Boulevard.
I think the treadmill race is funny. Treadmill race is funny.
Hollywood Walk of Fame, though. Sure.
Wherever you want. We'll run up Griffith.
Let's go uphill. Let's do hills.
Unbelievable. I'm in an argument with a video I saw.
I kind of miss doing stadiums. Stadium stairs, I mean, just like running up and down? Great.
Whatever you want.

Unbelievable.

Oh, you think I don't believe in working out?

I'm a fucking...

I have a deeply unhealthy relationship with fitness, food, my body.

Well, I can run.

Tell me I don't take this seriously.

I don't believe in Marshall.

Just...

How do you give us the roar? Fox News lapped this video right up. I just think it's unfair that you guys get to see this and we don't get to see any of the female members of the cabinet.
I'd like to see maybe Linda McMahon doing yoga. Tulsi surfing.
I don't know. Can I see something that's not fair? Jessica, it's just not fair.
Charlie and I need to see some eye candy, too. Oh, boy.
I guess that's what's left once Project 2025 bans porn. And look, I would not watch a video of Tulsi Gabbard surfing, but I think we're really getting off track here.
Behind the buffoonery RFK Jr. is an anti-vax crank who will pose a genuine threat to the health of millions of Americans as Secretary of Health and Human Services.
He's a clown, yes, but the flowers on his lapel squirt polio. We've also got Pete Hegseth, Trump's pick for Secretary of Defense, whose own mother accused him of mistreating women for years in a 2018 email obtained by the New York Times.
Imagine receiving an email like that from your mother. Imagine your mother logging into her Earthlink account to confront you with the unacceptable truth of the way you lived your life.
Some frightening appointments

are almost lost in the churn,

like Russian propaganda

para Tulsi Gabbard

for director of national intelligence.

Gabbard's seen here

returning from a clandestine meeting

with Vladimir Putin.

I just love,

like 1950s, 1960s,

like green screen,

just somebody standing in a room

while somebody off

Thank you. It's the best.
The onslaught, unlike that beautiful shark in Gladiator 2. People didn't like the shark in Gladiator 2? It was terrible.
They didn't like the boats at the beginning. I saw the CGI animals overall.
They were we were just discussing this before we started recording. Left something to be desired.
You know, I want to come back to it. We got to come back to it.
We got to keep moving. We have a gladiator section coming.
The onslaught doesn't stop. On Saturday, Trump announced that he'd chosen Charles Kushner, father of his son-in-law, and recipient of his 2020 pardon after pleading guilty to tax evasion and making illegal campaign contributions to serve as ambassador to France.
Now, people don't really remember this, but Charles Kushner, I believe, hired a prostitute to try to ensnare his brother. His brother-in-law.
His brother-in-law. For blackmail.
To try to blackmail him. And they showed the tape to his sister.
What a family. What a family.
People love money. The people, people go to incredible lengths.
These were already super wealthy people. Anyway, fascinating.
We all begged for season five of Succession and boy, are we getting it. The only constant is chaos.
And after threatening steep tariffs on all products that enter the U.S. from Canada, Mexico, Trump chatted with both Mexican President Claudia Sheinbaum and Canadian Prime Minister Justin Trudeau this week, praising his meeting with Trudeau at Mar-a-Lago as very productive.
The meeting was just Trump complimenting Trudeau on the old blackface picture and constantly telling him it was hilarious before asking if they have quarter pounders in Canadian McDonald's, making it the most successful meeting with a foreign leader Trump has ever had. it's also like a signal to like what the next couple of years will be like, in part, because Trump goes out there and threatens sweeping tariffs that would destroy the economy, issuing menacing threats for actions that the Canadian government and Mexican government actually can't possibly do.
Like they can't press a button that stops the fentanyl, right? Like they're not actually in charge of that, right? It's like a big complicated problem. Guns go from our side of the border down to the Mexican side of the border.
And so he issues this broad threat. They all have to kind of find some way to kiss the ring.
He claims it was a very productive conversation that he's getting the results he had always wanted. And he gets to do a whole like, you know, storyline of Trump issues, crazy threat.
Foreign leaders capitulate to the power of Trump. Trump declares victory.
The actual underlying problems haven't changed materially, but he can claim they have because he'll claim whatever he wants to claim. Meanwhile, we went through a cycle of saying Donald Trump is going to destroy the economy.
The economy doesn't get destroyed. And we look silly, even though the thing he actually said he would do would be disastrous.
And we just have to think, not allow ourselves to be tools of that story that he's going to try to versions of that story he's going to try to tell over and over and over again. Anyway, speaking of Trudeau and things that are French in some way, Trump announced Tuesday that he will be visiting Paris for the opening of the newly restored Notre Dame Cathedral.
I've heard of Emily in Paris, but this is ridiculous. Not very America first of him.
Why isn't he paying a visit to America's Notre Dame, a Missouri Bass Pro Shops that partially burned in 2020 after an irate customer set off a firework in the boat accessories section? Did you see the pictures of the restored cathedral? I saw the inside. I think it's beautiful.
And I really like the more modern, I would want to call it a Bima, but I know that that's wrong. That can't be right.
What's the Narthex? What's the nave? I think it'd be the nave, right? What is the nave? Like sort of the top part. I'm not sure.
The part with the seats. Realizing I haven't retained much of Art History 101.
I don't like it. It's very millennial.
It looks very West Elm to me. I don't like all the lights.
I want it to to be dark and. I thought it was beautiful.
I like the floor.

I like the I like the kind of simple aesthetic of the new kind of whatever that is.

I don't know Catholic terms, but the big bowl.

It's called the Pope.

The new the new modernist Pope Pope shape.

I like I like a Pope with clean lines.

You know, I like a simple silhouette on my Pope's. Minimal pope.
Minimalism pope. Conclave in theaters now.
Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up.
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All loans and amounts subject to lender approval. Back here in the United States, this past weekend was the largest Thanksgiving box office of all time.

I think I might be better.

You never want to hear that again? Well, buckle up because this is,'re going to hear it again. Love Wicked.
This Thanksgiving, more than ever, Americans were looking at their family and rightfully concluding, how about we shut the fuck up for roughly two and a half hours? Moana 2 alone made two hundred and twenty one million dollars, the biggest Thanksgiving opening for a single film in history. God, after it made so much money, Disney must be kicking themselves for agreeing to kill Moana in it.
Sorry. Spoiler alert for Moana, too.
She drowns. So no Moana.
You were so proud of that joke. I like that joke.
Yeah. Spoiler alert for Moana, too.
Children listening. She had bad that.
Oh, yeah. I was never concerned with the context.
The kids made it through the Cash Patel section. The worst child of the world watching this.
Wicked also soared past expectations, capturing the biggest opening weekend for a Broadway adaptation to date. Let this be a lesson, Hollywood.
Theater kids will not let you down. They will not have plans on opening weekend.
Theater kids didn't even find out that everyone else from their high school class was hanging out over Thanksgiving until today. Adding Gladiator 2 and The Weeknd surpassed the previous record-holding Thanksgiving weekend.
2018's combo of Creed II, Fantastic Beasts, The Crimes of Grindelwald, and Ralph Breaks the Internet. Yeah, there were a couple years break where we all realized we were gay and learned to make sourdough bread and some other stuff happened, but now we're back in business, baby.
Finally, back to the cinematic golden age of Fantastic Beasts, colon, The Crimes of Grindelwald. Those movies could not...
First of all, there's been several of them. They all have impenetrable titles.
I don't know what... It's the same thing happened to me with the Spider-Man movies because they were all called, they were all called like Spider-Man, the homecoming, Spider-Man, No Way Home, Spider-Man, Far From Home.
It's like, what's the same thing happened to me with the Spider-Man movies, because they were all called like Spider-Man, the homecoming,

Spider-Man, no way home,

Spider-Man, far from home. It's like, what's the fucking order?

Same thing with the

monkey movies. Planet of the Apes

colon Dawn of the Apes. Planet of the Apes

colon Rise of the Apes. Planet of the Apes

colon War for the Planet of the Apes.

What's the order? Does Rise

come before dawn or does dawn come before

red, David? Which is it? Do you know? It's the ladder. Hell yeah.
It's the order does rise come before dawn or does dawn come before red david which is it do you know it's the ladder hell yeah it's the ladder it goes rise dawn or dawn rise dawn rise i like that why because that's just the way it is but that doesn't make any sense that makes perfect sense yeah sun has to dawn before it can yeah sunrise and dawn are synony and dawn are synonyms. The sun is rising when it is dawn.
It is dawn when the sun is rising. The sun is the one that the sunrise spans a period of time.
Boo! I agree there's a period of time after dawn that the sun is continuing to rise. It rises till noon.
Exactly. But that's not what we mean when we say sunrise.
That's not what you mean. I don't like the monkey movies enough to care.
The monkey movies. Yeah, I really don't enjoy them enjoy them all right let's take a moment to talk about gladiator 2 and wicked uh loved both enjoyed both thoroughly uh we were talking about this the the the yes the the cgi um i don't even know what kind of simians those were meant to be.
They look like... They're baboons.
Yeah, they're baboons. They're baboons.
But what if it was in bad shape? You can buy, like, packages of CGI, essentially. So you buy, like...
The baboon package. Yeah, exactly.
And there's, like, a level one baboon package. Oh, interesting.
Up to, like, an expensive baboon package. I do not think Gladiator 2 is using off-the-shelf baboons.
No,'t have to re-render an animal. You can get like a package and then have less rendering.
So they start with you can get an off-the-shelf baboon and then doctor it up. Then doctor it up.
Put a hat on it. Put a hat right.
A little bow tie. With all of the CGI there was not enough doctoring up.
I agree. it was the boats I didn't mind the baboon but the boats at the beginning I was a little a little for me the the little it's actually not it's hard right because I don't actually think it is the baboons themselves or the little monkey or the sharks.
It's the what happens. The monkey was real.
No, I actually. Someone look this up.
I don't think the monkey was real. It was a real monkey? It looked real.
Yeah, 100%. 100%? You're going to 100%? Do you know that? No, but it's some of them.
What if you're wrong? They will never believe you when you're sure again. I'll forget tomorrow.

Do you look it up or do you just feel it's right?

Can you look it up?

There's been tiny monkeys in movies before. Yeah.

We could get a monkey.

Thank you. It's not no effects

at all? Dondas. Dondas

was 100% a real monkey?

You're acting like monkeys have not

been a part of Hollywood the entire time.

I just watched him crazy and I would just like to think

that there are no real monkeys. Oh, there's probably

more than ever. I don't

Thank you. you're acting like monkeys have not been a part of Hollywood the entire time.
I just watched him crazy and I would just like to think that there are no real monkeys.

Oh,

it's probably more than ever.

I don't,

whether or not it may be a real monkey.

There are definitely shots where it looks like they are that like Denzel Washington is told to stand in a certain way. And then the monkey,

they like,

and now the monkey's on your shoulder.

Like there are things,

there are moments where I don't know if it's fully a real monkey. The monkey's real and Denzel is AI.
Whoa. There is a moment from the movie that needs to be available to us as a video, which is when he goes, and that's politics.
That's going to be, when somebody gets a good. We're going to drive it into the ground.
Everyone's too busy filming busy filming the wicked title card with their phone they put their phone away from Gladiator people are filming the wicked title card oh did you not see this what are people doing with that posting it on twitter unbelievable there was a there was a when the second time I saw Wicked, there was somebody sitting.

Yeah, that's right.

Yeah, you heard me.

Saw it twice.

Deal with it.

Deal with it.

Saw it twice.

Cried both times.

Would see it a third time.

Sobbed.

Fucking sobbed.

Sobbed.

I'm crying from good news.

Like, I cry from the opening of that movie.

I am so in on Wicked.

I fucking loved Wicked.

I'm not going to like it. That's totally.
I love that you. Thank you.
As someone who is a musical theater person I just wish I felt the same. You saw it? No I haven't seen I do not like Wicked.
No no no. I saw Wicked original cast 2003.
So like I've seen Wicked. And she hated it then.
I just the music music does nothing for me. Agreed.
Agreed. I'm sorry, it's not, it's just not.
It's not what? It doesn't do anything for me. I don't find it to be particularly imaginative.
I don't like The Wizard of Oz as, like, a vehicle for storytelling. Neither does Wicked.
It's based, what do you mean? It's a twist on it. It's saying imagine.
Well, look, to each their own. I fucking love Wicked.
I thought it was beautiful. I'll cry right now thinking about it.
I also enjoyed Gratelgator 2, but the sharks did take me out of it. They were not very real, seeming.
I'm a conclave girly. I fucking loved it.
Can't wait. I'm excited to go see that one.

I need to get a better picture of what the supporting actor race looks like, which I don't have a full grasp on it. I will say, I think they're all in Conclave.

It's all older character actors just absolutely having a blast.

I would just be fun for me to see Denzel get a nod because his nod for Roman J. Esquire, I still am upset about it.

You don't even remember that movie. No, I do.
His character's name, I believe, is Roman Israel. Yeah, Roman J.
Israel Esquire. Sorry.
And he's a lawyer? Yes. A bad one.
Denzel Washington is awesome in Gladiator 2. My only problem with Gladiator 2, which is I think a contrarian take,, I wanted it to be longer because I was actually enjoying.
So without spoiling anything, like you're watching, what's his name? Paul Mescal. You're watching Paul Mescal.
Who was AI. Who was 100% AI and hot as hell.
But you're watching him and Denzel Washington and their stories, kind of how they kind of come together. And I just was like, I wanted to spend more time.
Like I loved watching the Denzel Washington story of like where he started and where he gets to. And I just wanted to spend more time in it.
That is the beauty of a Denzel movie. Like in American Gangster, him with Russell Crowe, I always fast forward through the Russell Crowe parts because it's a better movie when you're just focusing on the dead cell stuff.
So good in that training day. Yeah.
God damn it. He's one of our guys.
It's so good to see him. It's so good.
It's so good to see him. Did you read his profile? He like I think one of the reasons why he looks so activated and animated in this movie compared to a few like Roman J, whatever, and also like all those equalizer movies.
Apparently he stopped a 15 year, like two bottle of wine a day habit. He's been sober for a few years now.
So in the movie Heat, Al Pacino's character was doing cocaine and Michael Mann cut any shot.

I don't know if he I don't know if it was discussed or you see it.

I believe they did shoot him doing cocaine, maybe a little bit wrong.

But the basic gist of it is Al Pacino's played this character like he was doing cocaine throughout the movie.

And then any reference to it is cut.

And so the final movie, Al Pacino was like, I think a little bit pissed because he's like, I played this like a guy doing coke and you never see me do coke. And it makes the whole movie.
It makes the whole movie. And you sort of know he's doing coke because he's up for three days straight and he's crazy.
Like he just seems like he's on coke. But I do think that it's a kind of a funny, like kind of direction that should be used more, which is just like tell Denzel Washington, like it's Rome, but like you're on coke the whole time.

One of my favorite shots ever in any movie is in Flight.

Zemeckis does this shot where it's either Denzel or John Goodman doing a line of coke.

And the way he shoots it,

he puts a camera on a dolly

and like follows the line up his nose.

It's a really excellent shot.

Yes.

I like the movie Flight because it asks the question, what if Sully is terrible? Finally, a movie willing to wonder, what if Sully was drunk when he turned that plane upside down? One of our only heroes, in fact, a villain. There's also, I think it's great, too, that we made two movies.
One is just about him and the other is a fake version of it. And in one of them, it's just like the Ron Howard one.
Wait, Ron Howard did, which one did Ron Howard do? Flight or? Zemeckis is Flight. Oh, Zemeckis did Flight.
And in that one, it's just like a straight up, like, he's a hero. He turned the plane upside down, and it was totally awesome.
And in the one with Denzel Washington, he, like, does two bottles of vodka, throws them out of the garbage, does a line of clothing. He's like, no, but it was still the right thing to do.
And it's like, why did this need to exist? Sully, a movie I have seen exclusively on TikTok. There was a period where people were just posting Sully in like 10 minute chunks on TikTok.
And I watched a lot of it. I'd never seen it before, but I got really pulled in.
It's quite good.

Is it good?

Or was I just up at 10.45 p.m. watching things in two times speed on TikTok?

I don't know.

Did you ever get the woman who's like, hey, take a break?

No, I don't think I got there.

You've been watching too much TikTok.

If you watch TikTok for too long, TikTok pops up a little thing and says, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, chill. No.
It starts popping pitbulls and you're right back in. Oh, nothing.
That'll get me to turn off TikTok. Not me.
Not me. I want to see what's going to happen.
I want to see how follow the rabbit, you know, see how deep this rabbit goes. Speaking of fantastic beasts, that's what the transition was from a while ago.

This year's National Dog Show winner was Vito,

the first pug to take best in show

at Purina's annual dog show competition.

I don't think that makes sense.

Vito made the judges an offer they couldn't refuse.

The chance to crown this adorable pup best in show.

Here's Vito on the Today Show.

Vito and his handler, Michael Scott.

Not that Michael Scott.

Vito, Michael, David, congratulations for being here.

I mean, Vito was already booked to discuss his breakout with Baby Rex.

Wait, I don't know who this is.

Baby Rexha.

Who's Baby Rexha?

Who's a singer?

Nothing.

Oh.

Vito was already booked to discuss his breakout with Baby Rexha. Who's B.B.
Rexha? Who's a singer? Nothing. Oh.
Vito was already booked to discuss his breakout with B.B. Rexha, so it worked out perfectly.
If you knew who B.B. Rexha was, it would be funny.
Yeah. Said one judge, he's everything a pug should be.
One head cold away from death. Woo! Do you, when the dog show is on, do you call pundit into the room because i will call amy into the room when they're announcing her category and like try to get her to sit and watch and like so she has representation this was so i didn't watch anything so i we worked i worked part of the day monday tuesday and wednesday and then tuesday night and Wednesday night, I did like prep cooking.
And then Thursday day cooking. And so Tuesday, I brined the turkey and spatch.
I spatchcocked the turkey and I brined the turkey. Wednesday, I made cranberry sauce from scratch.
I made a artichoke casserole. And then discovered that my fridge was slowly rising in temperature and no longer staying below 50 degrees.
So then on Thursday morning, I threw out the turkey that I had brined for two days and bought a new turkey. Spashcock, that bad boy, didn't have time to brine it.
There was no time to brine it. Made the mac and cheese, made the mashed potatoes, and then cooked the turkey, then made gravy from scratch.
But I was basically cooking the whole time. It's very fun.
I really love doing it. I put butter under between the skin and the turkey, which was very fun and gross.
But I made a compound butter with herbs and garlic and salt and pepper, got the turkey already, cooked the turkey. But I just was in the kitchen the whole time, which I actually love doing.
I love just sort of like being in the kitchen making stuff. What did your family say? Well, it's such an important question.
There was some question as to what we could or could not eat because it had been in the fridge that it's slowly risen in temperature. And so there was your whole family's in the hospital.
Oh, there. Yeah, they're fucked up.

They're stabbed. Yeah.

Yeah. The hospital being the nick our nickname for the toilet.

But no. So everybody it all turned out really, really well.
But like I think like I was like this, like I basically used up everything that was in the fridge.

But but like my sister was like, I don't know if I feel good.

I don't know if this macaroni and cheese is safe.

And I was like, it is safe. The milk is fine.
It smells fine.

Thank you. used up everything that was in the fridge.
But but like my sister was like, I don't know if I feel good. I don't know if this macaroni and cheese is safe.
And I was like, it is safe. The milk is fine.
It smells fine. It was in the oven.
Yeah, everything was in the oven. That's the whole thing was all in the oven.
I relented on the turkey. Like I would have cooked the turkey and just tested it because it's like we're going to cook it.
So it's going to be OK. But I don't know.
I think that if it had been overnight in a fridge that had been probably. Yeah, you made the right call.

That had to go.

The turkey had to go.

Because also, if they get sick, you will never live it down.

It's just not worth it for them to always have that to refer to.

But then when I was using the oven, the oven started.

It's an old oven.

So the oven started clicking.

So then my father called the Viking number. It's like, who do you think is on the other end of this phone?

I didn't know Viking made ovens. I knew they made sewing machines and vacuums.
It's an old Viking oven. I don't know.
It's probably 20 or 30 years old, too. I have no idea.
Anyway, it worked out well, though, but I didn't watch the dog show. And this pug one, even though, I don't know, these things, I feel like they shouldn't exist.
Nature's defects. Vito is the best example of a dog that should never have been made.
It's not even nature's defect. It's a human-made thing.
They were bred to have worse and worse faces. It looks like a bug.
And you can see it in his eyes, too. It's like, I shouldn't be here.
Yeah. Wasn't there a period of time, too, where they were talking about French bulldogs and, like, trying to reverse? They've been bred to be more and more unhealthy and that actually they should be bred to have longer and longer noses and that the standard needs to be changed so that these dogs yeah they can breathe better because like i don't know like don't airlines not allow yeah they have eye problems don't they not allow pugs on planes like what does it call the name they should they should there's a name for the flat nose dog what's called it put maybe pug nose snub nose snub nose i think it's a snub nose dog because they can't breathe well they yeah some airlines won't allow them on a plane because they're not that they worry that they're gonna the pressure change out yeah so his eyes go also they're able to get the cabin who knows what happened yeah all right in case you missed it today is the last day to take advantage of crooked's the Pod sale.
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I want to thank Sarah. I want to thank Hallie.
I want to thank Kendra. I want to thank everybody behind Wicked for doing an amazing job, really bringing their A game.
Also, whoever was in charge of the baboons, I think you did fine. I think you did fine.
It didn't take me out of it. I really could see them as being baboons.
I could use more baboons, honestly. I was a bit confused by them.
I didn't think that it was more like,

what kind of animals are these?

Are these animals that no longer exist?

Are they still like,

they look like monkey dogs to me?

That's what I thought.

They were like monkey dogs.

And you did a great job on those monkey dogs.

And I didn't see Moana 2,

but I'm sure that everybody worked really hard on Moana 2.

Can we take us out of this?

Oh, I don't think we want both of those playing at once Yeah I think we do See you sluts on Saturday Bye. Straight, shoot, time Lovin' or livin' is lovin' or livin' Straight, shoot, time Lovin' or livin' is lovin' or livin' Straight, shoot, time Lovin' or livin' is lovin' or livin' Spread the OOPS out Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production.

It is written and produced by me, John Lovett and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer.
Chris Lord is our producer. And Kennedy Hill is our associate producer.
Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman.
Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mahana del Shiki are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor.
Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer.
And Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure.
Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroat for filming and editing video each week so you can.
It's love it or leave it. Oh, that's another voice you can do that um uh so if you came to find me look to the western sky you see you can't it's hard to do in your real self but unlimited yeah together we're unlimited.

Pulling Dylan.

It's that, well, that.

So if you care to find me,

then you kind of make it more nasal

and become some of what I'm doing.

Nope, not great.

No, nothing.

No, no, I had it a second ago.

I had it a second ago. I had it a second ago.
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