Chapter 18: Farmhouse

Speaker 1 and Alyssa are always trying to outdo each other. When Alyssa got a small water bottle, Mike showed up with a four-litre jug.

Speaker 1 When Mike started gardening, Alyssa started beekeeping.

Speaker 3 Oh, come on.

Speaker 1 They called a truce for their holiday and used Expedia Trip Planner to collaborate on all the details of their trip. Once there, Mike still did more laps around the pool.
Whatever.

Speaker 1 You were made to outdo your holidays. We were made to help organize the competition.
Expedia, made to travel.

Speaker 4 CRM was supposed to improve customer relationships. Instead, it's shorthand for Customer Rage Machine.
Your CRM can't explain why a customer's package took five detours?

Speaker 6 Reboot your inner piece and scream into a pillow. It's okay.

Speaker 4 On the ServiceNow AI platform, CRM stands for something better. AI agents don't just track issues, they resolve them, transforming the entire customer experience.

Speaker 6 So breathe in and breathe out.

Speaker 4 Bad CRM was then. This is ServiceNow.

Speaker 9 Previously on Midnight Burger, Gloria is at whoops, the Teds found them.

Speaker 2 They found us.

Speaker 9 But then, at the last minute, they were swept away by some sort of spatial distortion baloney.

Speaker 9 Getting back to the spatial distortion baloney, I know you guys keep asking for it. We don't know when we're getting it back in stock.
It's hard to tell, okay? So just we will let you know, I promise.

Speaker 9 Anyway, across three galaxies, an old dog gets on the trail.

Speaker 3 Avast?

Speaker 12 I see the white whale.

Speaker 11 Is it the diner?

Speaker 2 We found it. It's great.

Speaker 9 Just real quick, back to the spatial distortion, baloney. Listen, we know you guys love it, okay? We really do want to give it to you, but it's very mysterious as to when it comes back into stock.

Speaker 9 You know, it's like the McRib.

Speaker 8 What was I talking about? Oh, right.

Speaker 14 Remember that time when Ava seemingly made friends with some kind of, you know,

Speaker 10 thing?

Speaker 10 I've been trying to figure it out, but it's been trying to figure us out at the same time.

Speaker 2 What has?

Speaker 10 I don't know.

Speaker 9 What are physicists ever talking about?

Speaker 11 Let's start the shift.

Speaker 15 Hello? Hi! Oh, Shell.

Speaker 2 Jesus.

Speaker 16 Fuck. You know, it's not my fault that I blend in with most landscapes.

Speaker 2 You're right.

Speaker 10 I'm sorry. Remind me at some point to put a bell around your neck.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 10 here we are.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 16 Which is where?

Speaker 10 No idea.

Speaker 16 On a scale from one to, I'm insane now. How weird is this for you?

Speaker 10 It's up there.

Speaker 10 One second we're in the diner, the next we're...

Speaker 10 in a field, I guess.

Speaker 16 So what happened?

Speaker 10 No idea.

Speaker 16 It seemed like you knew something right before we disappeared.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I kind of did, but I wasn't thinking we'd end up wherever we are now.

Speaker 16 What were you thinking?

Speaker 10 I don't know. I hear Hawaii is nice.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 10 Sorry. I can't see anything through this fog, so let's walk in this general direction and I'll tell you a story.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 10 a while back, I made a friend.

Speaker 10 This friend is unlike you or me. In fact, this friend is probably unlike anything in the universe.
It was, I'm guessing, a fourth-dimensional being.

Speaker 18 What does that mean?

Speaker 10 It means...

Speaker 10 Well, it's hard to explain. It means...

Speaker 10 Here you and I are. We're walking through this field one step at a time, moment to moment.
For this friend of mine, there is no moment to moment. All moments in time happen simultaneously.

Speaker 19 I don't get it.

Speaker 20 Well...

Speaker 10 You're not supposed to. And neither am I.
We're able to imagine that an entity like that exists, but there's no way we can know what that's like because our brains just aren't built that way.

Speaker 10 We're not meant to understand it. It's like explaining heaven to a bear.

Speaker 16 What is heaven and what's a bear?

Speaker 10 It's something far more powerful and far more advanced than you or I.

Speaker 16 So what does it want with us?

Speaker 10 I've been thinking about that a lot.

Speaker 10 I know it's interested in the diner, like I am.

Speaker 10 and like me, it has no idea what the diner is, so we have a common problem.

Speaker 10 I'm also guessing that it needs me because I can move through time and it can't.

Speaker 10 There are these creatures on Earth called dogs. A long time ago, dogs and humans like me started working together.

Speaker 10 Dogs are not very smart, but they were smart enough to understand that they had the same problem as humans. Where's the food?

Speaker 10 Dogs were better at finding food, humans were better at killing it. So two species, one more advanced than the other, made a deal.

Speaker 10 In this scenario, we're the dog, and it's the human.

Speaker 16 It saved our asses, so I'll be whatever.

Speaker 16 Leave!

Speaker 10 Come towards the sound of my voice! There you are.

Speaker 12 Are you guys okay?

Speaker 10 I guess so.

Speaker 17 We're dogs.

Speaker 10 Okay. Way to hang on to the tape recorder.

Speaker 8 Yeah.

Speaker 12 Just walking through a mysterious field with a tape recorder like it's an episode of fringe.

Speaker 12 Why did you have me grab this?

Speaker 10 I don't know. I thought it might come in handy.

Speaker 2 Is that Gloria?

Speaker 3 Gloria!

Speaker 2 Oh, thank God.

Speaker 20 What the fuck is all this shit?

Speaker 10 Well, it's a field, Gloria.

Speaker 2 Oh, really?

Speaker 12 Thanks. Anyone got any ideas where we are?

Speaker 20 You tell us, Laif. You're Mr.
Universe.

Speaker 12 All All I see is fog.

Speaker 10 Well, we're breathing oxygen, so there's that.

Speaker 16 You're breathing oxygen.

Speaker 22 Oh, right.

Speaker 10 We're breathing oxygen, shells breathing carbon dioxide, so it's Earth-like, wherever it is.

Speaker 20 So is this your mysterious friend, Ava?

Speaker 10 I think so.

Speaker 20 Beet's getting captured, I guess.

Speaker 10 There's no bacteria in the soil. There's not no.

Speaker 16 We're in a field of tall grass, and there's no bacteria in the soil.

Speaker 20 That's impossible.

Speaker 16 You can't grow things in dead soil.

Speaker 2 Aha.

Speaker 12 Design flaw. We're in a simulation.

Speaker 20 How do you know?

Speaker 12 Richard Feynman, if you want to make a simulation of nature, you'd better make it quantum mechanical.

Speaker 2 All the big stuff's here. Grass, dirt, fog.

Speaker 12 But there's no bacteria. No microbes.

Speaker 20 So this is the Matrix or something?

Speaker 12 No, it's not virtual. It's constructed.

Speaker 10 We're in a hamster cage. Oh, fuck.

Speaker 23 Who had the radio?

Speaker 2 Oh, shit.

Speaker 23 I did. Lafe.
Oh, boy.

Speaker 12 Hey, I had the radio and the tape recorder.

Speaker 2 That's not fair.

Speaker 10 They've got to be around here somewhere, right?

Speaker 16 Where should we look first?

Speaker 2 The tall grass or the dense fog?

Speaker 20 When we get back, we're putting backpack straps on the radio.

Speaker 25 That doesn't sound too comfortable for us.

Speaker 2 Oh, my God. No way.

Speaker 2 Holy shit.

Speaker 18 Get out of the box.

Speaker 23 Hi, y'all.

Speaker 10 What is happening?

Speaker 23 I am sure I don't know.

Speaker 12 Look at you guys.

Speaker 10 So, this is what you guys look like.

Speaker 16 Those two bodies fit inside the bar.

Speaker 23 I'm not complaining or nothing, but can someone explain what the heck is going on here?

Speaker 2 Not really.

Speaker 24 But we're not complaining either.

Speaker 2 Come here, you do.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 well.

Speaker 23 Careful, I got hair. You can muss up now.

Speaker 17 I'm so glad I can hug you.

Speaker 2 I'm getting in there too.

Speaker 17 Come here, guys. What are they doing?

Speaker 10 It's called hugging.

Speaker 12 I'm not a fan.

Speaker 2 I've wanted to do this for so long.

Speaker 10 Oh, shit. Hey, guys.
What?

Speaker 2 House.

Speaker 23 Where?

Speaker 2 Whoa. Oh,

Speaker 28 man.

Speaker 12 Creepy house in the fog?

Speaker 12 No. There's an old ghost in there or something.
Leaf?

Speaker 2 That is our house. Oh.

Speaker 12 Really?

Speaker 18 It's nice.

Speaker 10 It made us Effie and Zebulon's farm.

Speaker 21 Appears to be.

Speaker 29 Though we would never let the grass get this tall.

Speaker 23 Absolutely not.

Speaker 20 What do we think?

Speaker 23 Are we supposed to go in? Well, our host has provided us all this.

Speaker 23 Let's have a look inside and see if it's also provided us with my Christmas brandy.

Speaker 10 Ooh, party of the Mugawains.

Speaker 23 Looks like they even cleaned up for us.

Speaker 12 I can't believe we're walking into your house right now.

Speaker 10 Technically, it's not their house.

Speaker 2 It's really nice.

Speaker 2 I always said we should have people over more often.

Speaker 23 Here's a living room. Y'all have a seat anywhere.
Gloria, get those glasses off that tray and give everybody one.

Speaker 11 Okay.

Speaker 23 I am going to climb up the bookcase here and see just how fixed for company we are.

Speaker 23 Well, then, very prepared, as it turns out. Who would like a brandy?

Speaker 12 Guys, we've been put into a fishbowl by a mysterious entity. Should it be cocktail hour rush?

Speaker 23 Hush up and hold your glass till life.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 16 What percentage of all this was made from a tree?

Speaker 10 Don't bring down the room, shell.

Speaker 12 Oh, hey,

Speaker 12 Zebulon, is this your setup?

Speaker 8 Why, yes, it is.

Speaker 32 That's where we broadcast from every evening.

Speaker 31 There's the microphone there.

Speaker 2 This is all homemade.

Speaker 12 Who made this?

Speaker 2 I haven't the slightest idea how it works.

Speaker 11 All that credit goes to Effie.

Speaker 2 Effie,

Speaker 11 this is beautiful.

Speaker 23 Well, thank you, Laif. It's nothing fancy, but we did get by.

Speaker 2 Is that a copper pan as your ground plane?

Speaker 23 Sure is. There's all sorts of household items wrapped up in it.
Mason jars, an egg beater.

Speaker 12 How'd you know how to do all this?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 23 it all started one day when I was looking at our wireless and just thought, what's in there?

Speaker 23 I opened up the bag of it, come to find out there wasn't hardly anything in there at all.

Speaker 23 So, if it's a simple thing to listen to the radio, why couldn't it be just as simple to talk into it?

Speaker 12 Where'd you get the parts from?

Speaker 23 The Sears catalog, of course. There was a whole host of wonders in the Sears catalog.

Speaker 12 And you just threw it together.

Speaker 23 It took a few trips to the library, but it wasn't too hard to figure. For me, it just made sense the way that things fit together.
Effie,

Speaker 12 you're an engineer. Nonsense.

Speaker 23 I am not.

Speaker 2 You are.

Speaker 12 Just knowing how things fit together? That was my whole childhood.

Speaker 12 See, for you, it was the Sears catalog, but for me, it was Radio Shack.

Speaker 2 The stuff up front was all garbage, but you go into the back of the store.

Speaker 12 It was paradise.

Speaker 12 Transistors, soldering guns.

Speaker 12 I felt like anything was possible.

Speaker 12 I blame my parents. They wouldn't let me have a dog, so when I was eight, I built a remote-controlled car that automatically followed me everywhere I went.

Speaker 8 They hated it.

Speaker 20 That's amazing, though.

Speaker 19 Why did they hate it?

Speaker 12 They hated technology. They ran a food co-op in Northern California.
They were back-to-the-land people.

Speaker 12 Everything looked like a nuclear bomb to them.

Speaker 12 My dad eventually came around.

Speaker 12 When I was 12, I converted his delivery van to run on vegetable oil. It always smelled like french fries, but he loved sticking it to Exxon.

Speaker 2 It's not about that, though.

Speaker 12 It talks to you. You understand it even when you shouldn't.
Well,

Speaker 23 I suppose I do understand that.

Speaker 12 Mind if I fire it up?

Speaker 2 Go right ahead.

Speaker 12 Well,

Speaker 12 hey there, everyone out there in fake Arkansas.

Speaker 12 This is Laif, here to answer all your questions about quantum drives, inertia dampeners, and the best way to responsibly store your baseball cards.

Speaker 2 Give us a call. Let me try something.

Speaker 23 Scoot over.

Speaker 22 Okay.

Speaker 16 And that was the super holy quartet with Jesus Really Likes Your Hairdo.

Speaker 16 I'm Zebulon Muckawain here with my wife, Effie.

Speaker 12 Hi, y'all.

Speaker 16 Effie, I was thinking just the other day about Jesus.

Speaker 12 As we often are, dear.

Speaker 16 And how Jesus gave his life so that we may be forgiven, but then also came back to life three days later, which may sound completely contradictory to someone who'd never heard of him before.

Speaker 23 All right, that's enough, you two.

Speaker 12 We're just getting started. You're done.

Speaker 2 I don't think I sound like that.

Speaker 20 Sorry, Zeb, I think Shell's got you nailed.

Speaker 23 I was nice enough to show you my contraption, and this is how you repay.

Speaker 18 Shell started it.

Speaker 10 Hey, did anyone else get hungry when Leaf said french fries?

Speaker 20 Ooh, I did. Effie, where's your kitchen? I'll make something.

Speaker 23 Oh, no, you will not, Gloria. You spend all your time in that kitchen, and I will not have you waiting on me in my own house.

Speaker 23 You will sit right there, and I'm gonna see what's what in this kitchen that is not apparently our kitchen.

Speaker 17 I love this restaurant.

Speaker 23 Ava, come help me in the kitchen.

Speaker 10 Um,

Speaker 10 what?

Speaker 23 Come help me in the kitchen.

Speaker 10 But I don't know what happens in there. It ain't complicated.
But I don't like helping.

Speaker 2 Hey, but

Speaker 23 get your over-educated butt in here.

Speaker 10 Okay, but I'm not dicing anything.

Speaker 11 Y'all, if you don't mind, I'm gonna step outside for a bit.

Speaker 37 I know this place is just a facsimile of our home, but I'd like to see just how detailed it might be.

Speaker 22 I'll come with you.

Speaker 16 I wanted to see the rest of it, too.

Speaker 2 Right this way.

Speaker 16 Sorry about the impression. I couldn't help myself.

Speaker 2 That's quite all right.

Speaker 34 Where I'm from, we say that imitation is the highest form of flattery.

Speaker 16 That sounds like something invented by the one being imitated.

Speaker 11 Perhaps, yes.

Speaker 16 So what did you do here?

Speaker 22 This is a hog farm.

Speaker 38 We grew crops a bit, but most of our time was spent raising the hogs.

Speaker 2 A hog is an animal, about yay-high, with a funny-looking nose.

Speaker 16 Do I want to know why you raised them?

Speaker 2 You do not. Okay.

Speaker 2 Shell,

Speaker 38 I want you to know that these trials and tribulations of ours may be quite distracting at times, and I hope you don't feel we've become indifferent to your plight.

Speaker 38 We took you from your home to save you from destruction without thinking much on how we too are often quite on the brink of destruction ourselves.

Speaker 21 And I hope it hasn't been too frightful of an experience.

Speaker 16 I keep thinking to myself that I should be more frightened. I definitely was on the first day, but then things kept happening and I kept discovering that I could handle it.

Speaker 16 I keep having these moments where I would think, hey, this is terrifying and I'm somehow okay.

Speaker 16 Didn't know I was capable of all that.

Speaker 11 Trials do have their rewards.

Speaker 39 If nothing else, they show us who we are.

Speaker 16 No offense, but I still wish none of this had ever happened.

Speaker 22 Of course you do.

Speaker 11 And we would much rather have sat down on your world in a happy and healthy state.

Speaker 33 We cannot dwell too long on paths unrealized.

Speaker 16 I was thinking about the Garden of Eden.

Speaker 2 Were you now?

Speaker 16 Those two people were in paradise, and then something bad happened, and they had to strike out into the unknown.

Speaker 2 Not unlike you.

Speaker 16 It seems to me that all of you are like that. Humans, anyway.

Speaker 16 You seem to remember a time when everything was great, but then something bad happened.

Speaker 16 And then you spent your whole lives trying to get back to that time when everything was great, even though it may be impossible to get back there. But then again,

Speaker 16 I suppose that describes me, too. I'll probably always be looking for my planet, even though it's impossible for me to get it back.

Speaker 33 I wonder at times if longing for that impossible place is necessary for us to go on in the world.

Speaker 38 That yearning is what keeps us moving forward, gives urgency to a life.

Speaker 38 There's no man more tragic than one who has achieved all he wishes to achieve. The agony of everything completed.

Speaker 16 Whoa, what is that thing?

Speaker 2 That is an old friend. Really?

Speaker 8 I wanted to take this jaunt across the property to put our mysterious host to the test.

Speaker 13 See if it's friend or foe.

Speaker 38 And I see now it means us no harm.

Speaker 36 For this is Pansy, a friend of mine from childhood.

Speaker 32 Is this a hog?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 16 It's really cute.

Speaker 31 It is.

Speaker 16 Now I really don't want to know why you raised them. Can I get in there?

Speaker 2 Of course.

Speaker 2 Awesome.

Speaker 38 I would even join you, but who knows if we've been given a change of clothes in this strange place.

Speaker 2 Hi.

Speaker 2 Hi there.

Speaker 16 What's your deal, tiny thing?

Speaker 41 Do they talk?

Speaker 19 Oh, boy.

Speaker 2 Licking.

Speaker 16 Licking is happening.

Speaker 17 Is this normal?

Speaker 2 That means she likes you.

Speaker 2 It's running around me in a swim.

Speaker 39 That also means she likes you.

Speaker 2 Oh, hey.

Speaker 17 Whatever I'm standing in is really great.

Speaker 11 Oh, yes.

Speaker 8 A pig does make for very fertile soil.

Speaker 16 Do you mind if I stand here for a minute? I'm not going to be able to eat dinner like you guys.

Speaker 2 Of course.

Speaker 16 It's a shame I can't live here. Seems like a nice home.

Speaker 11 It was for us.

Speaker 36 For

Speaker 38 many

Speaker 38 years.

Speaker 16 What's that building over there?

Speaker 2 That is the barn.

Speaker 35 A barn is where one stores things for the winter. It keeps them out of the rain and snow.

Speaker 16 Why is there a T on it?

Speaker 2 That is a cross.

Speaker 22 The barn was once our church.

Speaker 16 A church is where you do the god things?

Speaker 22 Yes.

Speaker 16 But it went back to being your barn?

Speaker 38 It did.

Speaker 16 Did you get a bigger church place?

Speaker 38 No.

Speaker 38 Is

Speaker 16 this one of those moments where I shouldn't be talking about something?

Speaker 36 No, of course not.

Speaker 39 There was a time when people would come from all around on Sundays to hear Effie and myself do god things, but that time came to an end.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 16 I'm sorry. What happened?

Speaker 38 To explain that, I would have to revisit aspects of my home that I'd rather not revisit. Suffice to say, you feel that you have lost your home and all that makes you who you are.

Speaker 38 Know that Effie and myself have lost deeply as you have,

Speaker 30 but we endure as you shall.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 16 Thanks for showing me your pig.

Speaker 22 You are quite welcome.

Speaker 10 Just keep stirring that. Is this cooking? This is easy.

Speaker 23 That is stirring.

Speaker 23 That plus everything I'm doing is cooking.

Speaker 10 Yeah, I've decided this is cooking. I'm a chef now.

Speaker 23 Do you even know what you're stirring?

Speaker 10 I'm stirring the cooking.

Speaker 23 How did you get to your advanced age without knowing how to cook anything?

Speaker 10 My what?

Speaker 23 Describe your day to me.

Speaker 10 How are you still alive? You know what my day is? I'm basically around you all the time.

Speaker 23 I mean, before you were at that big school of yours.

Speaker 10 Big school is a funny way to describe a universe.

Speaker 17 Are you drunk already?

Speaker 10 You're drunk already.

Speaker 23 Did you have any moments of self-sufficiency in your day, or did all of your food come from some sort of a cafe for the learned?

Speaker 10 I made coffee at home.

Speaker 17 Did you?

Speaker 26 No.

Speaker 10 I went to the coffee shop.

Speaker 23 And then midday?

Speaker 10 The salad place.

Speaker 23 And in the evening?

Speaker 10 At night, I had a long tradition of forgetting to have dinner and then at midnight ordering from the all-night Thai place.

Speaker 23 Quite the charmed life you had there.

Speaker 10 I also had to do a PhD defense four times in my life, which is no picnic.

Speaker 23 Why'd you have to do it four times?

Speaker 10 I did it one time for each PhD.

Speaker 26 Boom.

Speaker 23 It's not bragging if I have no idea what that means.

Speaker 10 No, it still is. All right.

Speaker 23 Now, at this point, we can put the cover on this and on that.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 23 Then what? Then we get the bottle of sherry from the bottom cupboard and go out on the back porch.

Speaker 2 I love cooking.

Speaker 23 Well, it looks like whoever's throwing this party is giving us a nice afternoon.

Speaker 10 Was the weather actually like this?

Speaker 23 Spring was nice until the bug showed up. Autumn was nice until the wind showed up.

Speaker 2 So...

Speaker 10 what's it like having arms and legs?

Speaker 23 You want to get right into it, huh?

Speaker 10 Do you want me to just ignore the fact that you are now fully formed right in front of me?

Speaker 23 Honestly, it feels about the same.

Speaker 2 How?

Speaker 23 I'm not sure. I couldn't explain it to you.
I speak to you through an old radio, but that's not how it feels to me.

Speaker 23 I seem to just fill up whatever space I'm in, and it feels no different from where I was before.

Speaker 23 Though, drinking some sherry on the back porch is not a bad touch.

Speaker 10 You know, I seem to recall you speaking quite often on the evils of alcohol.

Speaker 23 You have, it's true.

Speaker 23 But then again, I am not Effie Mucklewain now, am I?

Speaker 23 So

Speaker 23 I imagine I'm allowed to lay the tracks of this train while I'm driving it.

Speaker 2 Are you

Speaker 10 still a Christian?

Speaker 23 Oh, yes, absolutely. No matter how odd the life of the Mucklewains becomes, I can still feel him out there in the darkness, Ava.
In all things.

Speaker 23 Right now, in particular, in this Sherry.

Speaker 2 Another? Yes.

Speaker 23 What about yourself?

Speaker 10 What about me?

Speaker 23 You ever feel your faith shaken by the things you see?

Speaker 10 Oh, I don't really have one of those.

Speaker 2 One of what? Faith.

Speaker 23 Sure you do.

Speaker 23 I'm sure there's things you've relied upon that have abandoned you during our misadventures. I imagine there's no courses in those schools of yours that cover everything we've seen today.

Speaker 23 How do you keep your head on straight?

Speaker 10 It's pretty easy, honestly.

Speaker 23 Oh, it's easy, is it? We're sitting here in the middle of a fake Arkansas, and it's easy. Yes.
So, what's your special secret?

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 10 don't have a lot of friends.

Speaker 23 That's no secret.

Speaker 10 All right, I didn't, anyway.

Speaker 10 When I was young, I thought it was because there was something wrong with me. And when I got older, I thought it was because I was smarter than everybody.

Speaker 17 But

Speaker 10 the more I studied the cosmos, the more I realized it wasn't either of those things. I was

Speaker 10 just

Speaker 10 different.

Speaker 10 I see the world differently. Different from other people.

Speaker 10 When I was getting my first PhD, I learned about two things, fermions and bosons.

Speaker 10 I learned that everything in every possible universe is only made up of those two things.

Speaker 10 Fermions, particles of matter, and bosons, the forces that influence them. No matter where you go, no matter what you do, everything is just those two things.

Speaker 10 The world is a lot less scary when you realize that.

Speaker 22 So,

Speaker 10 You can attack me with all the galactic empires you want. All I'm gonna see are two things: fermions and bosons.

Speaker 10 I'm looking at you right now, and that's all I'm seeing.

Speaker 2 Sorry.

Speaker 10 Guess there's not a lot of room for God in between those two things.

Speaker 23 On the contrary, two things that make up the world entire. That sounds like God to me.

Speaker 2 We have returned. Hey, y'all.

Speaker 41 I met a pig.

Speaker 10 Did you?

Speaker 34 Our mysterious host has provided us with a pansy.

Speaker 10 How nice.

Speaker 23 Let me guess. She ran around you in a circle.
She did. She's a one-trick pony, that one.
I cooked food. You did not.

Speaker 13 Speaking of, it smells wonderful, dear.

Speaker 23 Good, let's head on inside. 38.

Speaker 31 Been a while since the last sherry on the back porch.

Speaker 23 Turns out, it's not unlike riding a bicycle.

Speaker 31 It is an easy rhythm to fall back into, being here.

Speaker 23 I believe that that creature has latched onto you just a little bit, husband.

Speaker 30 Shell is a tree without roots.

Speaker 11 I imagine they'd latch on to just about anything at the moment.

Speaker 23 Understood. Though it is not here, those roots should be put down.

Speaker 2 I'm well aware, Mother.

Speaker 23 They're not unlike Moses, that one. They've got a whole desert to cross.

Speaker 34 I surmise that Shell is capable of much more than we expect of them.

Speaker 23 So you say.

Speaker 23 Head on in then. Ava, come on now.
I think the food's burning.

Speaker 10 But I worked so hard on it one last thing though ah i knew there was gonna be an old time he talking to at some point he'll be returning to us ava

Speaker 2 who

Speaker 10 jesus

Speaker 23 okay

Speaker 10 but he's gonna have questions question one

Speaker 10 why isn't everyone jewish casper

Speaker 23 he'll be coming back to us

Speaker 23 You don't say I am certainly one to repeat myself, but I shan't with you. Do try and rustle rustle up a posture of forgiveness if you can.

Speaker 10 People have to deserve forgiveness, don't they?

Speaker 23 Forgiveness benefits both parties. We can't live our lives all bound up in things, can we?

Speaker 10 Your request has been logged, and I thank you.

Speaker 21 So,

Speaker 11 there's Ert doors and TED tubes, right?

Speaker 12 Earth doors are simple and elegant. Can move a body thousands of miles, but there's limits.
To move a ship across a galaxy, you really need a TED tube.

Speaker 12 Now the Earths are really great at simple elegance, but they don't like doing dirty work. That's how you get TED tech.

Speaker 20 I just find it hard to believe that nobody else in three galaxies has technology like they do.

Speaker 2 They would have.

Speaker 12 That's the part that sucks.

Speaker 12 Right around the time Europeans were going through the Renaissance, all these planets started to establish communication with each other.

Speaker 12 They didn't have the tech to travel to each other, but they all started this massive scientific and cultural exchange. They started working together to find a way to finally meet face to face.

Speaker 12 But before they had a chance to come up with a solution,

Speaker 12 Everyone started to see a TED ship looming in orbit, offering a quick solution at a high price.

Speaker 12 It all went downhill from there.

Speaker 20 I hate them so much, Leif.

Speaker 12 You get used to it.

Speaker 23 Food's ready, y'all. Awesome.

Speaker 12 Where do we go? Oh, no.

Speaker 23 You stay right there.

Speaker 10 Hello, everyone. My name is Ava, and I will be your waitress.

Speaker 32 Shut up.

Speaker 40 Somebody checked the horizon for four horsemen.

Speaker 10 That's right. You are going to stay seated, and I am going to bring food to you.

Speaker 12 There's something

Speaker 12 so wrong about this, but I have to see it happen.

Speaker 10 Here you go, Lee.

Speaker 16 Enjoy.

Speaker 35 Also,

Speaker 24 don't get used to it.

Speaker 28 I think we should all commend Ava for doing something that is a very human thing that most people can do.

Speaker 10 No snark, holy man.

Speaker 10 Take this plate. This looks amazing.

Speaker 10 Gloria, before we eat, can I talk to you outside?

Speaker 2 Oh, uh, yeah, sure.

Speaker 10 It'll just take a second.

Speaker 2 Come on, guys.

Speaker 12 No secrets.

Speaker 23 Eat your food.

Speaker 17 What's going on, Ava?

Speaker 2 Hi.

Speaker 11 Hello.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 I,

Speaker 10 um,

Speaker 10 I need a favor.

Speaker 17 Really?

Speaker 10 Yes.

Speaker 19 Okay.

Speaker 10 I

Speaker 10 um

Speaker 10 it's hard to explain.

Speaker 20 It's hard to explain or you don't want to explain it

Speaker 10 This place we're in it's basically a waiting room I figured

Speaker 10 Which means we're gonna

Speaker 10 you know eventually be called into the office right

Speaker 10 This thing that brought us here

Speaker 10 It's going to make contact at some point and why hasn't it already? My theory is that it's operating pretty far outside its comfort zone right now. I don't think it exists chronologically.

Speaker 10 It doesn't experience time,

Speaker 10 and it experiencing time is just as hard as us not experiencing time. So

Speaker 10 right now, it's working up the courage to cross the auditorium and ask us to dance.

Speaker 20 I see.

Speaker 10 It should

Speaker 10 probably be me that talks to us.

Speaker 12 Oh, I agree.

Speaker 2 And...

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 17 here's the thing. You're scared.

Speaker 10 Yes, thank you for saying it.

Speaker 20 You've communicated with this thing before, the big malevolent thing, right?

Speaker 10 We've communicated in vagaries.

Speaker 10 It shot me through time and showed me things.

Speaker 10 This may be direct contact. Yeah, that sounds a little scary.

Speaker 2 See,

Speaker 10 we create tools because of our limitations. The wheel, the abacus, the computer.

Speaker 10 Our brains are limited and they can also work against us.

Speaker 10 We think our brains are these powerful learning machines, but actually using our brain to learn something is hard and consumes a lot of energy because we have to build new pathways.

Speaker 10 What a brain actually is, is a huge collection of assumptions.

Speaker 10 When we see something new, we use whatever we know at the time to define what it is.

Speaker 10 So when we see new things, their actual aspects are obscured by all of our previous assumptions.

Speaker 10 We work incredibly hard to bring a new thing into our narrowly defined world instead of broadening the world of our minds.

Speaker 10 For centuries, we thought the sun revolved around the earth. It took hundreds of years to change people's minds.

Speaker 20 What does any of that have to do with this?

Speaker 10 Studying the universe. and time and space and quantum realities is inherently tragic

Speaker 10 because you essentially still have the brain of a caveman and you're trying to understand things that, in the end, you just may not be built to understand.

Speaker 10 I've always been worried that one day

Speaker 10 I'd hit the wall,

Speaker 10 that the cosmos would finally be outside of my understanding,

Speaker 10 that I would finally find that I'm a 1989 Tandy 1400 trying to search the internet

Speaker 10 That day

Speaker 10 might be

Speaker 10 today

Speaker 2 Ava

Speaker 20 Are you trying to tell me that you're scared of failing?

Speaker 26 Well,

Speaker 10 I don't fail things Gloria things fail me Ava

Speaker 20 I hate to break this to you, but in the end, you're just a human being.

Speaker 10 Take it back.

Speaker 20 I know, it's hard to take.

Speaker 20 No one's expecting anything of you in there.

Speaker 10 They may not say it.

Speaker 20 Ava, are you hurting yourself? No. Are you hurting someone else?

Speaker 10 No.

Speaker 20 Then congratulations.

Speaker 2 You have met all the requirements.

Speaker 2 We love you, okay?

Speaker 2 Take it back.

Speaker 17 We good?

Speaker 17 Yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 20 Now, before we go back in there, can we address something?

Speaker 2 Yes?

Speaker 20 I was not at all prepared for Effie and Zebulon to be the hot ones.

Speaker 10 Oh my god. Thank you for saying it.

Speaker 2 They look fantastic.

Speaker 10 And they look really cool. Like, they look like an old country duo.

Speaker 18 I was picturing the couple from American Gothic.

Speaker 10 That's exactly what I've been picturing for years.

Speaker 20 I gotta up my game. Maybe I should start wearing makeup again.

Speaker 23 Really?

Speaker 20 Nah, don't be ridiculous. Come on, I'm hungry.

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Speaker 15 Coach, the energy out there felt different. What changed for the team today?

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Those games sent the team's energy through the roof.

Speaker 15 Are you saying it was the off-field play that made the difference on the field?

Speaker 7 Hey, a little play makes your day, and today it made the game. That's all for now.

Speaker 6 Coach, one more question.

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Speaker 15 Must be 18 years or older to purchase, play, or claim.

Speaker 12 I don't understand. I'm saying you have a nervous system, so it's possible.
But what's the point? Because it's fun.

Speaker 20 What are we talking about?

Speaker 23 Life here is trying to give Shell some brandy.

Speaker 34 Lafe.

Speaker 12 I'm just saying Shell has a nervous system.

Speaker 12 We have a nervous system There's no reason why not Shell eats with their feet dude, right?

Speaker 10 You want to soak Shell's feet in brandy?

Speaker 12 I'm not saying

Speaker 20 I want to I'm just saying it's possible you're contributing to the delinquency of a minor actually I've done the math turns out I'm older than all of you seriously Yeah, I live for like a thousand years.

Speaker 2 Huh? That's too long.

Speaker 16 How are you guys not depressed all the time with your super short lives?

Speaker 10 That's what the brandy's for.

Speaker 12 Well, shit!

Speaker 12 Give this old geezer a drink already!

Speaker 16 It sounds a little scary, but also, I really want to try it.

Speaker 38 Dear, are our friends debating the ethics of getting a tree inebriated?

Speaker 17 They are.

Speaker 21 That doesn't sound right to me.

Speaker 23 Nor to me, dear, but I'm afraid I must know. Shell, put your feet on this tray.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 23 All right, we'll start y'all slow. Just a couple of fingers on your toes.

Speaker 10 What's supposed to happen?

Speaker 10 You're supposed to be funnier, especially to yourself.

Speaker 16 I don't feel funnier.

Speaker 10 Do you feel like you're going to split off into more gremlins?

Speaker 20 Effie, this food is amazing.

Speaker 10 Hey, I stirred.

Speaker 24 Great job, both of you.

Speaker 2 Thank you, Gloria.

Speaker 20 You have have a can full of bacon fat in your fridge, don't you?

Speaker 23 What else am I supposed to keep in my fridge?

Speaker 12 I'm surprised by the refrigerator.

Speaker 12 I didn't think those were too common in 1925, especially all the way out here.

Speaker 23 We have our ways of getting things.

Speaker 16 I know the brandy isn't working, but I feel like we're slurring something together now.

Speaker 2 Slaring.

Speaker 2 Slar slaring?

Speaker 19 Sharing.

Speaker 2 I get it now.

Speaker 12 Hypothesis proven.

Speaker 26 You're right. I'm really funny now.

Speaker 10 You're hilarious.

Speaker 16 Do you feel how funny I am?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 16 It's so funny.

Speaker 10 It's a mystery show.

Speaker 16 I feel like this is a great moment for all of us, right?

Speaker 2 Oh, yes.

Speaker 24 It's amazing.

Speaker 23 Jesus Christ, you guys.

Speaker 26 Is everything fuzzy?

Speaker 16 Like, there's a fuzz on it?

Speaker 20 Absolutely.

Speaker 19 Okay.

Speaker 16 Why don't you guys do this all the time?

Speaker 12 The temptation is there, trust me.

Speaker 16 Where does the brandy come from? Does it come from the

Speaker 16 same

Speaker 16 place

Speaker 16 as the water out of the pipe?

Speaker 29 It is actually a very interesting process.

Speaker 36 Zebulon, what is God?

Speaker 2 Oh, oh my.

Speaker 20 Did shell skip straight to intense conversation about spirituality, drunk?

Speaker 2 In record time. I really want to know because you talk about it all the time, and I'm always like, What?

Speaker 20 I think you better just tell them, Zeb. I don't think they're going to let it go.

Speaker 2 I cannot.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 34 I cannot tell you, Shell, what God is.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 10 Plot twists.

Speaker 16 But God, God,

Speaker 10 God

Speaker 16 coming out of your mouth all the time, God.

Speaker 2 Uh,

Speaker 11 yes, well,

Speaker 13 Shell.

Speaker 36 There was once a man named Moses,

Speaker 13 and Moses was God's greatest prophet.

Speaker 11 He ascended a mountain to commune with him directly, the only prophet to ever have that privilege.

Speaker 30 Moses was desperate to know the true nature of this God that had him besiege the Pharaoh with plagues, split the sea in twain, and had led him deep into the desert.

Speaker 12 O please, show me your glory, he said,

Speaker 37 but God refused.

Speaker 36 I will make all my goodness pass before you, but a human being may not see me and live,

Speaker 32 which seems quite severe.

Speaker 35 But the point,

Speaker 34 the point of God's obfuscation of his nature was to show us our own imperfections.

Speaker 13 Not one of us has a claim to absolute truth.

Speaker 39 We view the world through the imperfect lenses we wear throughout our lives.

Speaker 28 Divine wisdom may reveal itself to us from time to time, but in the end, only God

Speaker 39 can know what God is like.

Speaker 2 For the power of our perception in the end will always have its imperfections.

Speaker 23 I like to switch the letters around and ask, what is a dog?

Speaker 23 If you ask Leif, he'd probably say that a dog is loyal and loving and a worthwhile companion.

Speaker 12 I would say that, which is totally what I said to my parents.

Speaker 23 But now, if Laif were a squirrel, he'd have a very different definition of what a dog is, now, wouldn't he? Both definitions are true. Both are different.

Speaker 23 And both are colored by the eyes we're looking through.

Speaker 40 It's really beautiful, you two.

Speaker 16 I just don't understand why all

Speaker 16 the people left your church place.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 23 Zebulon?

Speaker 11 It was said in passing.

Speaker 19 Wait, what happened?

Speaker 12 What do you mean they left?

Speaker 23 It's in the distant past now. There's no reason to dwell on it.

Speaker 2 Uh uh-uh.

Speaker 12 No.

Speaker 10 What the hell happened, Effie?

Speaker 23 I suppose if I said said I didn't like talking about it, that wouldn't do much, would it?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 12 What happened, guys?

Speaker 11 Well,

Speaker 31 a while back, Effie and myself, we had a bit of a falling out with our congregation.

Speaker 23 Zebulon, I have no desire to tell this story. But if we're going to tell it, we should tell it.

Speaker 17 They abandoned us.

Speaker 29 What the fuck?

Speaker 36 Effie and myself performed a marriage ceremony.

Speaker 11 A marriage ceremony that was

Speaker 8 illegal in the eyes of the state of Arkansas.

Speaker 2 Illegal?

Speaker 20 An interracial marriage.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 32 Harold was

Speaker 35 a friend.

Speaker 23 To us all?

Speaker 28 To us all, indeed.

Speaker 32 Repaired tractors, had a real way with it.

Speaker 30 As if communing with a wounded wounded animal.

Speaker 23 The whole community depended on Harold. They did.

Speaker 34 Come harvest time, a call to Harold was just as desperate as a call to the doctor.

Speaker 12 A pillar, you'd call it, a pillar of the community.

Speaker 11 And no one depended on Harold more than the Tucker Farm.

Speaker 34 For there was no man whose tractor was more chronically infirmed than Jim Tucker.

Speaker 8 And Jim Tucker had a daughter.

Speaker 23 Lillian.

Speaker 23 Lillian was quite a lady. She'd swatted away a couple of marriage proposals at that point, was still living at home with her mother and father.

Speaker 23 She was 25 years old, and her father was already calling her a spinster. That gives y'all a fairly clear picture of Jim Tucker.

Speaker 11 And so Lillian and Harold spent long afternoons together under that willow tree of theirs.

Speaker 36 Harold would fix the tractor and Lillian would bring him lemonade.

Speaker 23 Seemed innocent enough. Then we found out later on that Lillian had, the entire time,

Speaker 23 been deliberately breaking her father's tractor so that Harold would come again and fix it, for which she earned my undying respect.

Speaker 21 They came to us on one Saturday morning while her father was in the city and told us their intentions.

Speaker 23 We were concerned.

Speaker 39 Very concerned.

Speaker 11 With the miscegenation laws, Harold could have found himself in jail.

Speaker 23 We never told them to stop, despite our fears for their safety.

Speaker 11 Instead, Effie constructed a plan.

Speaker 23 I found them a safer place. They'd be allowed to cohabitate in Iowa without the law getting involved.
Also, Iowa ain't nothing but tractors, so Harold could have all sorts of work there.

Speaker 23 But to two folks who'd lived their whole lives in these parts, the state of Iowa may as well have been the other side of the world.

Speaker 38 I remember looking out this window right here while they discussed Effie's proposal.

Speaker 31 They both seemed quite scared, afraid to even let go of each other.

Speaker 23 They agreed that these parts were no safe haven, and at the right time they would steal away to that land of corn up north.

Speaker 36 But they would not go unless we married them in our church.

Speaker 23 It wouldn't be a legal marriage, just promises before God, so we had no right to deny them.

Speaker 36 We did not.

Speaker 30 And so, one morning, Lillian snuck away while her father was in the field.

Speaker 11 And we married them as the sun rose.

Speaker 33 And off they went.

Speaker 23 And then, the next day, all Godforsaken hell broke loose.

Speaker 39 I'm unsure how Jim found out the news about his daughter and our involvement, but

Speaker 21 it was for the best.

Speaker 36 I didn't want to spend a lifetime bearing false witness to the man.

Speaker 23 It surprised me how quickly they all turned on us. Folks said they felt betrayed, that we had borne away Jin Tucker's daughter without any thought to the rest of them.

Speaker 23 They described it like it was a kidnapping.

Speaker 2 And within a week, we went from a full church to an empty barn.

Speaker 11 That's fucking horrible.

Speaker 2 It was.

Speaker 23 And I'll admit for quite some time, we didn't know what to do with ourselves. I couldn't even go in the barn for the longest time.
And this is a farm, y'all. I need to go in that barn.

Speaker 30 I believe we were in the right,

Speaker 34 but that was cold comfort.

Speaker 36 Too often, being in the right requires acquainting oneself with the loneliness.

Speaker 11 Eventually, I began the process of trying to forgive our former parishioners.

Speaker 23 And I began a rather unexpected process.

Speaker 2 Yes,

Speaker 21 I come in from the field one day to find this construction you see before you now, and attached to it all

Speaker 2 a microphone.

Speaker 23 And I sat Zebulon in front of that microphone and I said to him, Speak.

Speaker 37 I feel as though I haven't stopped speaking since.

Speaker 23 It was strange at first. We didn't know what the heck we were doing or if anyone could hear us.

Speaker 23 Then, after a time, it became a blessing to talk into the darkness like that without even caring if anyone heard us.

Speaker 17 God heard us.

Speaker 23 That he did.

Speaker 23 But then,

Speaker 23 then,

Speaker 23 after months of talking our heads off into that contraption, I was witness to a shocking discovery.

Speaker 21 Turns out it wasn't just God that was listening.

Speaker 23 I come up on that state road one day, and what do I see?

Speaker 23 A line of cars all parked along the shoulder, one after the other, all of our former congregation. And what did they have in their back seat?

Speaker 23 They had pulled their wireless radios out of their own houses and were listening to Zebulon give a sermon.

Speaker 12 Son of a

Speaker 23 they had not the courage to show their faces in our church, but they had all pulled their cars up onto a bend in the state road where the reception was the best, listening intently to a man they had apparently branded a traitor.

Speaker 32 Effie was

Speaker 2 upset.

Speaker 2 I was.

Speaker 23 Hypocrisy such as that really does hit me in my sensitive places, y'all.

Speaker 24 So, what did you do?

Speaker 23 Well, God forgive me, I plotted revenge. Now we're talking.
On our next broadcast, I made up a little announcement that I'd opened up a P.O.

Speaker 23 box in town so that they can contribute to our little church of the airwaves. Whatever you can spare, I told them, just send it on in.
And oh, the guilty, they did pay.

Speaker 36 I had reservations about taking their money from them.

Speaker 23 I did a little bit.

Speaker 23 But then again, we didn't take nothing from them. They sent it to us.
And that there, Lace, is why we are the only folks in these parts with a refrigerator.

Speaker 2 I consider it a reward for our fortitude.

Speaker 12 Can't believe interracial marriage was still illegal in 1925.

Speaker 20 Laif, it wasn't legal nationwide until what, 1967, 68?

Speaker 2 Shit, really?

Speaker 20 How does non-college educated Gloria know this and you don't?

Speaker 12 Fuck, I don't know.

Speaker 12 In my defense, I've spent most of my life in space.

Speaker 10 I didn't know it either, and I have no defense.

Speaker 23 1968.

Speaker 23 That's really how long it took.

Speaker 20 Yeah.

Speaker 23 That is disgraceful.

Speaker 31 A tragedy.

Speaker 34 As I'm sure you can understand now, this return home for us has complicated emotions.

Speaker 12 Well, I salute you guys.

Speaker 12 It must have been miserable to confront your own community like that.

Speaker 29 No, Leif.

Speaker 31 We cannot be commended for doing something that should be expected of any individual who has their two feet planted on the earth.

Speaker 20 How did you not hate everyone after that?

Speaker 2 The blame falls also on us, Gloria.

Speaker 39 This is our community, and its failures are our own.

Speaker 39 There were demons here to confront that we chose not to see.

Speaker 11 We were leaders in this community and did not turn to face its prejudices until they have turned to face us.

Speaker 23 The failure was ours as much as it was anyone else's. I was angry with them, disappointed with them, but we are not blameless ourselves.
Failures such as these are the failures of all of us, but

Speaker 23 I still kept that refrigerator, I'll tell you what.

Speaker 29 And it led us both to the airwaves, at least.

Speaker 2 And that was a blessing.

Speaker 32 I feel it's where we truly belonged.

Speaker 2 Uh, is Shell

Speaker 10 snoring?

Speaker 20 Shell is snoring.

Speaker 2 What a lightweight.

Speaker 23 Poor thing.

Speaker 12 It's funny, you know.

Speaker 12 We all seem to end up at the diner because we got kicked out.

Speaker 12 Kicked out of academia, kicked out of the restaurant business, kicked out of earth, kicked out of your own damn church.

Speaker 36 We are all refugees, not unlike Shell.

Speaker 2 I find that to be deliberate, don't you?

Speaker 37 As though we're drawn together for a purpose.

Speaker 12 What is that? Not a normal radio sound.

Speaker 2 Shit.

Speaker 11 Okay.

Speaker 12 You think it's trying to talk through the radio?

Speaker 10 Seems like it.

Speaker 10 Leaf, can you press record on the tape recorder?

Speaker 2 Yeah, got it.

Speaker 2 You guys?

Speaker 10 Don't let me get beamed up by a mothership or something, okay?

Speaker 20 You'll be fine, Ava.

Speaker 23 Just Just press that button there to talk, Ava.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 2 Hello?

Speaker 2 It may be Newark Airport.

Speaker 12 Did it say Newark Airport?

Speaker 10 Hello? Can you repeat that? A friend.

Speaker 10 Like you, I found this place.

Speaker 10 What place? Are you talking about the diner?

Speaker 10 I don't have identity like you do.

Speaker 10 Call me what you like.

Speaker 12 We're supposed to just make up a name?

Speaker 20 The fog is coming back in.

Speaker 20 Names are strange.

Speaker 20 They don't mean anything.

Speaker 10 I'm confused. Why have you brought us here?

Speaker 42 I see myself finding this place.

Speaker 42 Like all of you.

Speaker 43 Through chance and circumstance.

Speaker 42 I see you, alone.

Speaker 42 The tables covered in dust.

Speaker 43 I see myself not wanting you to be alone.

Speaker 43 Somewhere else, I see a man and a woman.

Speaker 43 She talks of her grandmother and grandfather.

Speaker 43 I make them for you.

Speaker 43 Put their voices in a wooden box.

Speaker 43 I thought

Speaker 3 you shouldn't be alone.

Speaker 10 It's talking about Effie and Zebulon. I don't know if it can hear us.

Speaker 20 The fog is everywhere now. I think it's happening again, guys.

Speaker 42 You too can make me.

Speaker 10 It seems disconnected somehow.

Speaker 32 What's happening?

Speaker 42 I see Ava in a field.

Speaker 42 She tells a story of dogs and humans.

Speaker 10 She is right.

Speaker 20 Ava, you need to make something happen right now. I think we're getting kicked out of fake Arkansas.

Speaker 10 Make what what happen?

Speaker 20 I don't know, but look out the window.

Speaker 20 Fuck, what the fuck is happening? Things need each other.

Speaker 43 You can see it in the stars.

Speaker 43 Gravity is not a mindless force.

Speaker 3 It is an intention.

Speaker 3 A prayer.

Speaker 42 Things strong together.

Speaker 10 I don't understand what you're saying.

Speaker 19 Everybody gather around Ava. I'll get Shell.

Speaker 2 Does it even know we're here? It brought us here.

Speaker 2 We're back.

Speaker 2 Fuck.

Speaker 2 What happened? We're back as well. What?

Speaker 2 What happened? Where are you the weirdest tree.

Speaker 12 Looks like we're in deep space again.

Speaker 10 What the fuck was the point of any of that? A 10-second incoherent conversation?

Speaker 20 Maybe the point was just to save us from the Teds, Ava.

Speaker 10 Oh, then why talk to us at all?

Speaker 24 I don't know.

Speaker 16 So we're just floating in space.

Speaker 12 It happens sometimes.

Speaker 16 What the fuck is that?

Speaker 16 Can he just go out there?

Speaker 20 He's fine in the parking lot.

Speaker 24 Grab the radio.

Speaker 20 We'll be fine. Ava, come on.

Speaker 10 I'd like to stand here and be mad. Please, that's fine.

Speaker 20 Come do it outside, though.

Speaker 2 Ah, fine.

Speaker 2 Whoa, that's big.

Speaker 20 What is that, Leif?

Speaker 12 No idea. It's huge, though.

Speaker 11 100 kilometers long, easy.

Speaker 10 It looks like wind chimes.

Speaker 16 It does look like wind chimes.

Speaker 12 I'm guessing it's not wind chimes.

Speaker 17 Is that coming from the radio?

Speaker 20 Zebulon, what's that sound?

Speaker 44 I'm afraid I don't know, Gloria.

Speaker 16 There's something coming towards us.

Speaker 2 Where? There.

Speaker 10 That's a very big ship.

Speaker 22 Fuck.

Speaker 20 What is it, Lae?

Speaker 12 Looks like our mysterious friend didn't save us after all.

Speaker 12 That's a Tedna.

Speaker 44 Attention, Midnight Burger. This is the Ted Empire.

Speaker 42 Prepare to be boarded and knock off all all of your bullshit.

Speaker 18 How is he talking through the radio?

Speaker 23 Oh, what's that?

Speaker 44 Are you curious how I'm talking through the radio?

Speaker 44 Because I have an empire at my disposal, and you guys have fly baskets.

Speaker 17 Who is that?

Speaker 12 That's the bad guys.

Speaker 17 Hey, Laif.

Speaker 44 Would you like to threaten us with a purple nullifier again? Go ahead, Laif. Go nuts.
Uh, another option is to shove it up your ass.

Speaker 17 We got dropped right in their fucking lap.

Speaker 41 Uh, there's another ship over there.

Speaker 2 Where?

Speaker 2 Oh shit.

Speaker 26 What is that thing?

Speaker 12 It's the Alex P.

Speaker 2 Keaton.

Speaker 45 Hey, everybody. What's going on on this frequency? Is this the party line?

Speaker 42 What are you guys wearing?

Speaker 12 It's loaf tracks.

Speaker 2 Oh, shit.

Speaker 3 What's up, Teds?

Speaker 41 Are you guys trying to take my diner?

Speaker 41 I don't like it when people take my stuff.

Speaker 41 I've got an idea.

Speaker 41 Let's shoot at each other.

Speaker 44 Oh, Jesus Christ. Fucking fire everything.

Speaker 26 Fire all of our shit at these things.

Speaker 12 Everybody get inside.

Speaker 41 There's one more ship coming in.

Speaker 2 What now?

Speaker 12 Wait,

Speaker 2 Nancy?

Speaker 2 Uh

Speaker 12 late? That's my ship

Speaker 2 you guys open even older leaf.

Speaker 27 Surprise

Speaker 12 kind of a fucking landing.

Speaker 2 Oh, hey,

Speaker 2 hi guys,

Speaker 2 Casper.

Speaker 9 So,

Speaker 9 what did I miss?

Speaker 9 Midnight Burger is made possible in part by her Monte Cristo level and above supporters.

Speaker 9 Wilson, Billy, Bertbert, Bethany, the Art Sherma, the Waiting Pool Pirates, Mel Momberg, Rogue, Justine Burbank, Michael Christian, Jen C, Onyx Rose, Aaron Mitchell, Emma the Neko Queen, Melvis Gray Mystery, Om Vega, Durkin Dankhill, Ang Velasquez, Ruth McCormick, Stuck in Derplahoma, Dancing Dog Dreams, Diodand, Menlor, Tracy, Calibri, Hippo, Maloran, Marunmai Salil, Kara, Late Indeed Again, Ian Hertzler, Mother of Thor, Special K, Ryan Abbey, Sarah Bergenholtz, Will Goliou, Zackinat, Nea, Anna, Ben and Jessica, Levi, Dulc Steve, Darcy D, D, and existentially exhausted Bean.

Speaker 9 Thanks for listening to Midnight Burger, y'all.

Speaker 23 Be sure and tune in this time next month for more adventures in the vastness.

Speaker 3 And if time and tide roil you too harshly, or diurnal courses leave you with no safe havens, just remember we're out there somewhere looking for you.

Speaker 23 We open at six.

Speaker 40 The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.

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