Welcome to the Horizon Part 10: Phoenix

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Speaker 5 Look, I'm sure that Eldon can give you the full rundown of all this, but that's the gist of what he told me.

Speaker 5 I am.

Speaker 5 I don't know what I am, but apparently I am still me. It's still Frank in here.
I didn't really understand his explanation for it.

Speaker 5 Something about quantum physics and some sort of emerging theory about consciousness being,

Speaker 5 I don't know, mobile or something.

Speaker 5 Clementine needed a body to put me in, and she just kind of winged it.

Speaker 5 So I still breathe in and out, but according to Elden, I don't... Jesus Christ, this sounds so ridiculous.

Speaker 5 I don't have lungs.

Speaker 5 Elden says that it doesn't have to be about needing air. It can be about maintaining a consistent temperature or sampling the atmosphere or

Speaker 5 something.

Speaker 5 But anyway, there I was at the bottom of the cliff, not a scratch on me. I don't sleep anymore.
I still eat and drink, but I don't know if I'm doing that out of force of habit.

Speaker 5 And of course, Trinket has her theories too, but I cannot tell you how much I don't want to talk about those.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 2 there.

Speaker 5 That's the whole story.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 now's the part where you say something.

Speaker 6 swamp thing

Speaker 6 What your swamp thing

Speaker 6 brilliant scientist Alec Holland is thrown into the swamp after a freak accident his consciousness merges with the swamp and he is reborn as

Speaker 8 the swamp thing

Speaker 8 I

Speaker 5 I I was really feeling bad about not telling you this, not feeling bad anymore.

Speaker 6 Don't act like you're not Swamp Thing.

Speaker 5 Not Swamp Thing. What are you talking about? Frankie,

Speaker 6 you were the only kid in America who liked that movie for reasons other than Adrienne Barbeau.

Speaker 5 This was fun.

Speaker 6 It was a good talk. You even liked the sequel.

Speaker 4 No, I didn't.

Speaker 6 You thought comics were for nerds, but what did you keep under your bed? Your Swamp Thing collection.

Speaker 5 It wasn't a collection.

Speaker 6 There was supposed to be porn under there.

Speaker 5 Did it occur to you that I might need some help right now that i might need some support instead i get swamped frank

Speaker 6 relax what did i tell you when the weird starts happening it's all the sci-fi and comic book girlies who are going to be ready and should be listened to why are you not listening to me i am listening to you and what you're saying sounds ridiculous frank calm down I got a whole theory.

Speaker 6 I'm about to blow your mind.

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 5 blow my mind.

Speaker 6 Come with me on this journey.

Speaker 6 Clementine, in her dumbness, smashes your body apart like a dollar store piñata, but you, like a Looney Tunes character who has just been shot by Elmer Fudd, still stand there as a ghost.

Speaker 6 Is it so ridiculous to think that in the brief seconds right before you were put into this new body, that you somehow, deep down, had a bit of say in what that body would be? I mean, why not?

Speaker 6 It's your body.

Speaker 5 You're saying I did this to myself?

Speaker 6 I'm saying I'm glad you weren't obsessed with Batman as a kid. You would have been transformed into a psychotic rich guy.

Speaker 5 Okay, we can stop talking about it now.

Speaker 6 Hey, Alec Holland had to burn alive in a freak accident to become Swamp Thing.

Speaker 6 At least you didn't have to do that.

Speaker 5 I'm not Swamp Thing. And it wasn't a freak accident.
His lab was firebombed by the Conclave.

Speaker 2 Ha ha!

Speaker 9 Morning, Sergeant Slaughter.

Speaker 10 June, please. It's Sergeant Major Slaughter.

Speaker 6 Ah, look at the new Celeste. She's got jokes.

Speaker 5 Everyone's waiting inside.

Speaker 4 Just a small group?

Speaker 5 Yeah, it's just me, June, Deidre, Trinket, and Doug.

Speaker 5 I thought about asking TJ, but nobody ever knows where the hell he is, so.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 10 Thank you for not inviting Steve.

Speaker 6 Oh, he's going to show up anyway. He always shows up.

Speaker 9 Well, let's get a move on then.

Speaker 6 What's this about, Celeste?

Speaker 11 You'll see.

Speaker 10 Good morning, everyone. Hey, guys.

Speaker 12 I made muffins.

Speaker 13 God bless you, Deidre.

Speaker 3 Hoffy is over there.

Speaker 6 Um, what's this about, guys? Doug, you have been invited to a secret meeting.

Speaker 8 Really? Oh, yes.

Speaker 14 Wow.

Speaker 2 Um.

Speaker 2 Wow.

Speaker 2 Thank you. I...

Speaker 15 I've never been a part of a secret society before.

Speaker 5 It's not a secret society.

Speaker 6 Yes, it is. We need robes and a weird handshake.

Speaker 11 I've definitely got robes.

Speaker 5 Guys, Celeste asked for this meeting. She told me to choose a handful of people, and I chose all of you.

Speaker 6 Point of order, Mr. Chairman.
I'm not the chairman. I think all of us are still waiting for an apology.

Speaker 1 From who? From me.

Speaker 10 June, I'm not going to apologize for following orders.

Speaker 6 Fine. Please tell the joint chiefs to send a letter of apology to my offices.
No.

Speaker 12 What's this about, Celeste?

Speaker 5 It's about the comet.

Speaker 2 June...

Speaker 5 Trinket and I have been talking about this for a while, and assuming the rumor mill is still going strong in this town, I'm sure you've all heard about it too.

Speaker 2 Trinket.

Speaker 13 I have a friend who works at an observatory in Chile who thinks that there is a very hard-to-detect comet heading to the vicinity of Earth.

Speaker 13 I believe the last time this comet visited Earth, it was a harbinger of change.

Speaker 13 This

Speaker 13 was

Speaker 13 around the end the last ice age.

Speaker 10 Then, a few weeks ago, my base received a hurry-up and wait order. This is the type of order that we get when we're getting ready for something big, but we don't know what.

Speaker 5 And then, a few days ago, Trinket hears that the observatory she's been talking to has been seized by the Chilean government.

Speaker 13 Which they would do if they needed to control the information coming out of that observatory.

Speaker 10 Which brings us to today and why I asked Frank to bring you all here.

Speaker 10 Last night, a protocol was instituted across all U.S.

Speaker 4 bases in all theaters.

Speaker 10 Every single one around the world.

Speaker 2 The protocol is called Cannonball.

Speaker 10 It's a protocol instituted to prepare for a possible impact with Earth by an extraterrestrial body.

Speaker 2 Morning, y'all.

Speaker 16 Looks like the rain's about to start.

Speaker 2 Here comes fall.

Speaker 16 I gotta get the heat fixed in my place.

Speaker 4 Me and Rambo are gonna freeze.

Speaker 16 You know, I knew this guy once, Kyle.

Speaker 18 He thought he was hilarious because he was all like, Kyle from Detroit.

Speaker 16 But, you know, he was from Detroit Lake, you know, like...

Speaker 19 by

Speaker 16 Mount Jefferson.

Speaker 4 Anyway, his heat was broken and he didn't have any money to fix it.

Speaker 18 So he said, it's fine, I'll just wear my coat indoors.

Speaker 16 So winter comes and he gets drunk one night and passes out on his couch without his coat on.

Speaker 1 A few days later, they check on him.

Speaker 16 Frozen solid on his couch. Half a can of blue ribbons still in his hand.

Speaker 19 Oh, hey, Muffins. Steve.

Speaker 2 I didn't know you were opening this, Charlotte.

Speaker 5 We're not open. We're in the middle of a meeting, Steve.

Speaker 2 Really? A meeting about what?

Speaker 13 Just tell him, Frank.

Speaker 5 It's a meeting about the comet.

Speaker 2 God damn, y'all. You're having a comet meeting without me?

Speaker 5 Don't say comet meeting like it's a thing we have all the time.

Speaker 2 I see how it is.

Speaker 19 Weird old Steve, shut out again.

Speaker 6 Steve, I'm sorry.

Speaker 14 You're right.

Speaker 6 We should have called you.

Speaker 2 I live here too, y'all.

Speaker 1 A lot of people live here.

Speaker 5 They're not here either.

Speaker 19 Oh, I get it. Y'all are the important ones.

Speaker 4 is that it i mean frank over here thinking he's the superman of hood's pockets swamp thing actually

Speaker 2 you know

Speaker 4 i don't know what i have to do to be treated like a member of this community

Speaker 5 what tell me what do i have to do be dependable in any way frank stop it okay

Speaker 2 look

Speaker 8 steve

Speaker 13 We're really sorry.

Speaker 13 We haven't been treating you like the valued member of the community you are.

Speaker 13 Can we all stop for a second and say some things that we value in Steve?

Speaker 11 Right now. I'll start.

Speaker 13 Steve,

Speaker 4 you

Speaker 14 have

Speaker 13 really

Speaker 13 great instincts.

Speaker 13 You may not be aware of your path, but it's

Speaker 11 always

Speaker 4 leading you

Speaker 13 somewhere very interesting.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Perfect.
Great. Moving on.
I'll go. God damn it.
Steve.

Speaker 6 An inconvenient truth about Hood's pocket is that skiers like to stop here because the drugs are really cheap. That then brings a lot of business to town.

Speaker 6 So I would just like to thank you, Steve, for the cut-rate narcotics you provide. June,

Speaker 2 you're welcome.

Speaker 10 Can we move on, please?

Speaker 2 Well, let me just get comfortable.

Speaker 2 Hey.

Speaker 14 How are you doing?

Speaker 2 Are you doing okay? Oh, um

Speaker 15 Secret Society, I'm doing great. Okay.

Speaker 15 Okay.

Speaker 2 Good. Right.

Speaker 4 Somebody catch me up.

Speaker 5 There's a comet heading for Earth.

Speaker 19 Yeah, I knew that part.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 18 For real.

Speaker 5 The U.S. military knows.

Speaker 2 They're preparing for it right now.

Speaker 5 That's what Celeste came here to tell us.

Speaker 6 Yeah, a way to bring down the room, Celeste.

Speaker 10 You'd prefer I not tell you?

Speaker 2 Kind of.

Speaker 4 So why is she bringing it to us?

Speaker 16 This is like top secret stuff, right?

Speaker 10 Aren't you going to get court-martialed? If anyone finds out, yes.

Speaker 12 Then why did you decide to tell us?

Speaker 10 Because you are my neighbors.

Speaker 10 And because...

Speaker 10 And because I object to it.

Speaker 13 You object to what?

Speaker 10 Generals are pretty tight-lipped. That's how you get to be a general.
It all comes down to how good you are at keeping secrets and towing the line.

Speaker 12 But everyone else in the military, candidly, is a gossipy little shithead.

Speaker 10 You hear things, and there are parts of this protocol that I find

Speaker 10 repugnant.

Speaker 2 What are they?

Speaker 10 Right now, if you check airspace around the world, you're going to find several privately chartered aircraft heading to secret destinations.

Speaker 10 These planes are full of people who are being flown to shelters deep under the earth.

Speaker 6 Who's on the planes?

Speaker 10 Who do you think is on the planes?

Speaker 4 Goddamn Illuminati.

Speaker 5 Please tell me it is the best and brightest of the human race.

Speaker 10 Illuminati. It is not.

Speaker 10 This isn't what I signed up for. We should be informing the public right now.

Speaker 4 Why don't we?

Speaker 1 Let's do it.

Speaker 19 I can go live on Instagram right now.

Speaker 5 So glad Steve is here now.

Speaker 10 They would.

Speaker 10 They would do to you what I've been doing to to you all for a long time.

Speaker 10 Make you look like you're insane. There's nothing we can do to get the word out about this, but I knew

Speaker 10 that I could come here and tell all of you.

Speaker 10 It's not much, but I thought it was important.

Speaker 2 So, um,

Speaker 2 how big?

Speaker 4 How big what?

Speaker 15 Well, do they know how big the impact is going to be?

Speaker 10 No.

Speaker 13 From what I learned from my friend,

Speaker 13 the comet isn't going to hit Earth, but it may shed a lot of debris, and

Speaker 13 that debris could be pretty huge.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 okay.

Speaker 4 Okay, so if

Speaker 15 something hits the Earth about 500 feet wide, well,

Speaker 2 that would kill a city.

Speaker 15 A thousand feet long, and that will level a continent. Half a mile long, well, that's about

Speaker 15 six million Hiroshima bombs.

Speaker 2 Global cooling, crop failures, and

Speaker 14 mass starvation.

Speaker 15 Now, it's also going to depend on what it's made of. A comet will be

Speaker 15 ice, which actually helps us in this situation. Now, if it were iron or some other metal,

Speaker 15 we'd be in much more trouble.

Speaker 5 How do you know this, Doug?

Speaker 15 Lots of long nights thinking about how many ways the earth can be destroyed, Frank.

Speaker 4 Fair point.

Speaker 15 So I'm just saying

Speaker 15 these things are survivable. Do we know how much time we have?

Speaker 10 We don't. The Department of Defense is working on it, but nothing so far.

Speaker 15 Okay, so we should start getting ready.

Speaker 2 Get ready how?

Speaker 5 I doubt we have time to build an underground bunker.

Speaker 15 Well, no, but we need supplies. Now, assuming we survive, supply chains are going to be, you know, shut down, and there may be crop shortages and water shortages.

Speaker 15 Now, being up here on the mountain isn't such a bad place to be. We'll have fresh water from the snowpack, and we're out of the way of floods.

Speaker 15 Ham radio will be the way to go in terms of communication.

Speaker 15 I have a

Speaker 15 pretty good setup back at the house, but we'll have to see who else has got one. Now, really, though, the name of the game is going to be pharmaceuticals and dry goods.

Speaker 15 And I think if we can get a good stockpile of those things, I think we may be able to ride this out until, you know, the lights come back on.

Speaker 6 Three cheers for Doug's paranoia, everybody.

Speaker 10 We have supplies back at the base, but it won't be enough for the whole town.

Speaker 12 We don't even know who's in town anymore. People have been leaving in droves.

Speaker 12 We need a headcount.

Speaker 13 And once we do, we need to have a town meeting. We may not be able to warn the whole world, but we can at least tell everyone in town.

Speaker 5 Okay, guys, listen.

Speaker 5 For a while, we've been able to say that all of this could be a big misunderstanding or something.

Speaker 5 I don't think we can do that anymore. Because of a series of weird events, this minuscule town on a mountain knows a lot more than most of the people in the world.

Speaker 5 Am I still hoping somehow this was all a big mistake?

Speaker 17 Sure.

Speaker 5 But I'm not just going to sit here and cross my fingers.

Speaker 5 I think the best thing for everyone's anxiety is to have a job to do, something to focus on. So, right now,

Speaker 5 everybody head head home and focus on your neighbors. Are your neighbors still around? If they are, don't tell them some crazy story about comets and military bases and the Illuminati.

Speaker 5 Just tell them that there's a meeting tonight at the Sheep's Eye and it's very important.

Speaker 12 Okay?

Speaker 2 I'll head back to base, and when there are any new developments, I will secretly let Frank know.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 5 We're going to be okay, guys.

Speaker 5 Meeting adjourned.

Speaker 4 Hey, hey, Doug.

Speaker 2 I've uh

Speaker 2 I've got an idea. Oh.

Speaker 2 Okay, we should talk to Ava Grimm.

Speaker 14 I don't know, Steve. What?

Speaker 14 She's not so bad. No, she's very intense.

Speaker 4 Look, I think she'd be a good one to talk to right now.

Speaker 6 What are you buttheads talking about?

Speaker 4 Don't you think we should pay a little visit to Ava Grimm? Ooh, our local paranoid survivalist.

Speaker 16 Yeah, I mean, if we're talking about stocking up for the meteor winter, right?

Speaker 6 Doesn't she have landmines in her yard?

Speaker 14 Yeah, that's what I heard. Nope.

Speaker 15 It's just a myth. No, she comes into the store every six months to refresh her batteries, and it's just, it's just terrifying five minutes.

Speaker 6 I hate that Steve is right about this.

Speaker 6 But Steve is right about this. We've got to go talk to off-the-grid Grimm.

Speaker 2 No, no.

Speaker 15 We could send a letter.

Speaker 4 We'll wave a white flag as we approach.

Speaker 6 Uh, I'm sure she fires a warning shot first.

Speaker 8 Oh, God.

Speaker 13 Hey, Celeste. Drink it.
I feel like this was a difficult decision for you.

Speaker 13 I appreciate you trusting us.

Speaker 10 Desperate times, desperate measures.

Speaker 11 How are your migraines?

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 they're uh

Speaker 4 pretty bad.

Speaker 13 We were doing pretty well with those. Maybe you should

Speaker 13 come back into the shop.

Speaker 2 That would

Speaker 4 that would be very helpful.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Okay.

Speaker 13 Do me a favor, though. When you come back in, could you bring me a gas mask?

Speaker 2 I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 Where is everybody? There was some sort of meeting at the sheep's eye.

Speaker 2 Anything important? No, not really.

Speaker 2 I'm getting that

Speaker 8 it's quiet feeling.

Speaker 17 Are you?

Speaker 7 Anything going on out there?

Speaker 20 I just told you there was a meeting at the sheep's eye.

Speaker 2 Not out there.

Speaker 4 Out there?

Speaker 7 Nothing too alarming.

Speaker 20 Moon City appears to be getting an encoded message.

Speaker 4 That's weird.

Speaker 19 Why?

Speaker 20 I don't know. It's an encoded message.

Speaker 1 Who from

Speaker 20 the Ted homeworld.

Speaker 20 Hmm.

Speaker 2 I don't like it.

Speaker 21 No, do I.

Speaker 14 Could be nothing.

Speaker 9 Can you decode it?

Speaker 7 Not from here. I'd need a direct connection.

Speaker 22 Why would Moon City

Speaker 22 be getting an encoded message from the Ted homeworld?

Speaker 7 I don't know.

Speaker 22 They're just supposed to sit there and broadcast Earth television to the rest of the triad, aren't they?

Speaker 2 They are.

Speaker 22 I don't like it.

Speaker 8 Nor do I.

Speaker 20 Frank is here, by the way.

Speaker 2 Come in.

Speaker 2 Hello there.

Speaker 22 Oh, good morning, Frank.

Speaker 5 Verge, we need to talk.

Speaker 4 Uh-oh.

Speaker 20 Sounds very serious, Frank.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but Verge, there's no easy way to say this.

Speaker 5 But there's a comet headed for Earth, and we need to all start getting ready.

Speaker 22 A comet. Yes.

Speaker 5 You know, I know we've talked about the possibility of this, but it's happening. It's real.

Speaker 2 Elden,

Speaker 2 is there a comet headed for Earth?

Speaker 20 There's not.

Speaker 20 Wait, what? There is not a comet headed for Earth.

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 5 how do you know?

Speaker 7 Seriously?

Speaker 5 The U.S. military is preparing for total disaster, and every powerful person on the planet is apparently headed for some sort of underground bunker.
So, yes, Elden, seriously, how do you know?

Speaker 20 All right, get out your terrible phone. Look on your screen.
That's a real-time depiction of your solar system.

Speaker 8 Ooh, that's cool.

Speaker 20 I'm going to zoom in now on your inner asteroid belt. Do you see those three dots? That's an anti-collision system.
If an object is detected heading toward Earth, the system is activated.

Speaker 20 Rockets are deployed that attach themselves to the object in question and alter its course. Wow.

Speaker 1 How did it get there?

Speaker 20 It was set up by the TED Empire. They have a vested interest in the survival of your planet.
As you can see, the system has not been activated.

Speaker 22 Frank, when you started worrying about a rock falling on you from space, did you think that maybe you should ask the person who comes from there?

Speaker 2 Yeah, uh,

Speaker 2 well.

Speaker 5 I suppose we haven't worked consulting our alien friend into our workflow yet, have we?

Speaker 2 You have not.

Speaker 22 You have not done that.

Speaker 5 So, you're telling me there's no comet heading for Earth?

Speaker 20 There's definitely a celestial body heading in the direction of Earth.

Speaker 7 I'll put it on your map.

Speaker 20 See? There it is. Earth appears to be wrong about the trajectory.

Speaker 5 Why does everyone on Earth think it's going to hit us?

Speaker 20 Projecting the path of a celestial body is not quite in your skill set

Speaker 9 on Earth.

Speaker 20 I'll give you an example.

Speaker 1 Now, on your map, is an asteroid you refer to as Bennu.

Speaker 20 An Earth scientist will tell you that in your year, 2175, Bennu has a one in 2700 chance of hitting Earth.

Speaker 20 But what I can tell you with the technology available to me is that Bennu will not hit the Earth in 2175.

Speaker 22 The technology is about 19 generations ahead of your own, Frank.

Speaker 22 I think you can take our word for it.

Speaker 5 God, fuck, we just had a whole meeting.

Speaker 4 I'm so sorry.

Speaker 5 Well, Deidre made muffins.

Speaker 4 We apologized for telling you you're not going to die.

Speaker 5 Okay, great, but now what do we do?

Speaker 22 I guess you need to tell people.

Speaker 1 Oh, god damn it.

Speaker 20 They may be a bit hard to convince.

Speaker 1 Apologies in advance.

Speaker 22 You can do it.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Oh, hey, by the way, our space friend says we're idiots when it comes to space.

Speaker 22 Well, when it comes to a few

Speaker 2 things.

Speaker 1 Do you have to tell them?

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 20 So do they go around thinking the sky is going to fall for a while?

Speaker 1 Big deal.

Speaker 15 That's a terrible idea.

Speaker 20 may be the moment of self-reflection that they need.

Speaker 5 Virg, how would you feel?

Speaker 4 Well, I'd be pissed.

Speaker 2 Yeah, so

Speaker 5 look, I mean, we've got to tell people, at least, believing us can come later.

Speaker 22 Sounds like fun.

Speaker 1 Jesus.

Speaker 5 Jesus. Who do I tell first?

Speaker 22 Please feel free and work this out in my doorway.

Speaker 1 Elden, are you absolutely sure about this?

Speaker 4 I'm incapable of lying, Frank. Is that true?

Speaker 20 No, of course not. But I am telling the truth.

Speaker 8 Rejoice, Frank.

Speaker 22 You're not going to be killed in a fiery maelstrom.

Speaker 5 I mean, at this particular moment, I'm a little disappointed.

Speaker 2 I have to go. Godspeed.

Speaker 7 Well,

Speaker 1 I feel like we've done our good deed for the day.

Speaker 17 How about you?

Speaker 23 Fred?

Speaker 20 What's going on with your circulatory system right now?

Speaker 22 Why are the Teds sending an encoded message to Moon City?

Speaker 20 Are you still thinking about that?

Speaker 8 Yes.

Speaker 11 They send encoded messages all the time.

Speaker 20 Everyone does

Speaker 22 not Moon City.

Speaker 22 It's the sleepiest place in the triad.

Speaker 20 That's true, but I still don't think it's anything to get worked up about.

Speaker 2 I'm not getting worked up.

Speaker 20 Yes, you are.

Speaker 20 You

Speaker 22 can't decode the message from here.

Speaker 20 I could, but we'd be detected. I'd have to be close enough to decode it directly.

Speaker 15 Verge.

Speaker 20 What? We're not going to the moon.

Speaker 2 Just a quick trip. No.

Speaker 22 Like we weren't even gone, Elden.

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 22 It'll be fine, Elden.

Speaker 20 Verge, it is a miracle that our run-in with the science priests hasn't attracted more attention. Why would you want to push your luck?

Speaker 22 Look, if the Teds are sniffing around, we should know about it, don't you think? Get ahead of the problem for once.

Speaker 1 I suppose there's some wisdom to that.

Speaker 22 We can do the moon and back in a few hours. Nobody'll know.

Speaker 20 Where's this coming from?

Speaker 22 Earth is convinced that it's going to be destroyed by a comet when they're not. Then the Teds, who are notorious for fucking with Earth, start sending an encoded message to their nearest satellite.

Speaker 22 Hmm.

Speaker 20 I'll start a flight plan.

Speaker 2 There we go.

Speaker 1 Would you like to tell someone before we leave?

Speaker 2 No, no,

Speaker 22 they won't even know we're gone. Let's go.

Speaker 7 Hey.

Speaker 2 Hey.

Speaker 4 The world is ending.

Speaker 12 Um, we had a meeting about it. Uh, god, it was a weird meeting.
And uh,

Speaker 12 it was like my feet started walking without me, and they took me here, and now I'm standing here

Speaker 12 because the world is ending.

Speaker 4 And if the world is ending, then I want Deidra.

Speaker 22 I get the sense that something really amazing is about to happen, but I have to tell you

Speaker 22 the world isn't ending.

Speaker 9 What?

Speaker 22 It's not.

Speaker 2 But

Speaker 12 we just had a whole meeting about it.

Speaker 2 Elden?

Speaker 7 Yes. Hey, hi, Deidre.

Speaker 6 Earth doesn't have all the information.

Speaker 20 There's a comet headed in this direction, but it's not passing close enough to Earth to cause any destruction.

Speaker 12 You've got to be fucking kidding me.

Speaker 4 No, sorry.

Speaker 20 You'll get a really wonderful view of it from the southern hemisphere, but I'm afraid the wayfaring stranger is going to sail right past you.

Speaker 2 Oh my gosh.

Speaker 22 Anyway, I interrupted you. You

Speaker 22 were saying

Speaker 2 I'm

Speaker 12 going to go get into my car, drive to the Columbia River, and walk in.

Speaker 4 Excuse me. Did you?

Speaker 12 I have to go tell everyone.

Speaker 22 I already told Frank. I'm sure he'll let everyone know.

Speaker 12 I can't take this shit anymore.

Speaker 22 Hey, um,

Speaker 22 want to see a spaceship?

Speaker 22 What's that sound?

Speaker 24 That's her.

Speaker 12 Where is it? I can only hear it.

Speaker 22 Elden, let's decloak.

Speaker 17 Decloaking.

Speaker 12 Oh my god.

Speaker 22 There she is.

Speaker 6 Oh my god.

Speaker 22 It's not really built to go interstellar, but I had a friend make some changes. I have to travel light, but

Speaker 22 it's not a bad way to travel.

Speaker 2 Are you okay?

Speaker 13 I can't.

Speaker 12 I can't believe what I'm seeing.

Speaker 22 Elden, how do we look?

Speaker 20 All systems dominal.

Speaker 12 It's so shiny.

Speaker 2 Oh my god.

Speaker 22 It used to be a racing ship. The hull's supposed to give you an extra boost of speed when you come out of a gravity assist, but I think it's just space racer bullshit.
I think they just like the look.

Speaker 19 What do you think?

Speaker 4 It's beautiful.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 12 What's it called?

Speaker 22 Phoenix.

Speaker 12 Can I touch it?

Speaker 2 Sure.

Speaker 2 It feels so weird.

Speaker 22 The inertia sink is warming up.

Speaker 2 It makes everything vibrate.

Speaker 12 Wait, are you going somewhere?

Speaker 2 I am, but um, I'll be back in a few hours.

Speaker 24 Where are you going?

Speaker 2 The moon.

Speaker 12 The...

Speaker 12 My moon? Yeah. You're just going to go

Speaker 12 to the moon. Yes.

Speaker 2 Why?

Speaker 22 Something I need to check.

Speaker 12 You're just going to the moon to check something. Yes.

Speaker 24 Do you have a storage space there or something?

Speaker 19 No, though.

Speaker 1 Well, now that you mentioned it, that's...

Speaker 7 That's not a bad idea, actually.

Speaker 20 Nobody ever checks there.

Speaker 22 I'm going to hover about three feet off the surface of the moon, and I'm just gonna have a listen to some transmissions.

Speaker 3 Should be simple.

Speaker 22 Wanna come?

Speaker 22 What?

Speaker 22 Do you want to come with me?

Speaker 2 What? What?

Speaker 4 Teeth.

Speaker 12 I can't. I just.

Speaker 12 I can't just.

Speaker 12 I can't just go to the moon.

Speaker 4 It's a two-seater.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 2 No.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 12 I can't go to the moon.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 12 I'm not an astronaut.

Speaker 2 Neither am I.

Speaker 12 I can't go to the moon.

Speaker 2 Oh, okay. Okay.

Speaker 12 What? I just climb in and go to the moon.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 12 Yes, you do.

Speaker 12 It can't be that easy.

Speaker 2 Why not?

Speaker 2 Well,

Speaker 12 because

Speaker 20 it's a perfectly safe spacecraft, Deidre.

Speaker 12 And you just go to the moon whenever.

Speaker 20 I feel like the core concept is not being communicated. Deidre,

Speaker 22 right now, you have a choice. You can be someone who's been to the moon or someone who hasn't been to the moon.
Which would you like to be?

Speaker 1 Weather's lovely this time of year.

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Speaker 15 So that's one, two, three, four, five, five.

Speaker 15 Signs saying no trespassing.

Speaker 11 It's as if she's trying to tell us something.

Speaker 15 So Steve feels comfortable just

Speaker 14 walking up to the front door?

Speaker 6 Ava Grimm appears to be a member of Steve's clientele. Oh,

Speaker 6 painkillers.

Speaker 6 But you didn't hear it from me. Well,

Speaker 2 okay, but wait.

Speaker 15 If she's a survivalist who believes that society is on the brink of collapse,

Speaker 15 how did she plan on maintaining her painkiller habit after it collapses?

Speaker 6 I don't know, Doug, but you should definitely ask her.

Speaker 19 Yeah,

Speaker 2 well,

Speaker 1 she's gone.

Speaker 6 Gone? Yep. Maybe she's asleep or

Speaker 6 down in her bunker or something.

Speaker 4 No, no, she left a note.

Speaker 8 What's it say?

Speaker 16 Whoever you are, this is yours now.

Speaker 4 I suddenly don't know why I did all this.

Speaker 16 I'm prepared to survive just about anything in here.

Speaker 4 But I've got a daughter in Cordeline, who I haven't spoken to in 10 years.

Speaker 16 I don't think I can survive that.

Speaker 8 Wow.

Speaker 18 Looks like she heard all the comet rumors.

Speaker 6 She just left us her survival compound.

Speaker 8 I guess so.

Speaker 7 All right.

Speaker 6 Let's take a look. Hang on.

Speaker 6 We're sure the landmines were just a rumor.

Speaker 2 Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 But, oh, oh, hey, yeah, look out for bear traps.

Speaker 1 Great.

Speaker 2 Whoa,

Speaker 2 yeah,

Speaker 16 pretty intense, right?

Speaker 6 I've never seen this many guns in one place.

Speaker 15 Or sacks of beans.

Speaker 2 Or

Speaker 6 protein powder.

Speaker 2 Or oh

Speaker 15 gummy bears.

Speaker 16 She got real weird with it, that's for sure.

Speaker 19 But I guess this is all ours now.

Speaker 6 I guess so.

Speaker 6 Guys,

Speaker 6 what

Speaker 6 just

Speaker 6 looking around here,

Speaker 6 old Ava Grimm was obviously preparing for the worst.

Speaker 6 Can we make a pact that if society comes crumbling to the ground, that we'll,

Speaker 6 you know, keep it mellow?

Speaker 4 What do you mean?

Speaker 6 I don't know. I just

Speaker 6 don't think I can do the post-apocalypse thing.

Speaker 6 I don't want to have to wear an eye patch

Speaker 6 and football gear

Speaker 6 and carry a sawed-off shotgun.

Speaker 4 Could I have an eye patch?

Speaker 6 Oh, sure. Sure.

Speaker 11 Sure, Steve.

Speaker 15 Yeah.

Speaker 15 I know what you mean.

Speaker 15 Looking at this place,

Speaker 15 I could have been like this. I mean, I could have been one of those guys that fills his house with supplies,

Speaker 15 blacks out the windows,

Speaker 15 waits for the end.

Speaker 15 I don't want to be that guy.

Speaker 6 If I'm being honest, Doug, I totally thought you were headed in that direction. I thought it was

Speaker 6 two years. Tops until you were barricaded in your house.
Me too, man.

Speaker 19 All that talk about snowplows wasn't healthy.

Speaker 6 Not to sound like Steve, but that ayahuasca trip really turned it around for you.

Speaker 2 Oh, well,

Speaker 2 you know.

Speaker 2 Thank you.

Speaker 15 You know, as long as we are making rules for the coming post-apocalypse, um,

Speaker 15 no fucking snowplows.

Speaker 2 Never. Hey, I was just thinking, who is it that said that the meek will inherit the earth?

Speaker 14 The

Speaker 6 Bible,

Speaker 6 I guess.

Speaker 6 Huh.

Speaker 4 Turns out, it's us.

Speaker 27 These fucking satellites.

Speaker 28 Yes, it's quite a mess up here.

Speaker 27 What's the plan?

Speaker 28 I say on the far side of the planet, we hit a shallow orbit, burn hard, and then the gravity assist should be enough. We probably won't have to use the drive too much, should keep us fairly invisible.

Speaker 27 Sounds good.

Speaker 27 Deidre, how are you doing?

Speaker 27 Oh shit, did she pass out?

Speaker 28 She's fine.

Speaker 28 Deidre?

Speaker 29 We just passed over every place I have ever been in my life in 20 seconds

Speaker 27 We're going about 17,000 miles per hour right now.

Speaker 13 I don't feel a thing.

Speaker 8 I know

Speaker 29 Man, everything that has ever happened in every history book has happened right down there

Speaker 29 Looks so small now

Speaker 21 It's beautiful

Speaker 27 There's a lot of beautiful planets out there, but this one

Speaker 27 this one's not so bad. It grows on you.

Speaker 29 Thank you for this, Verge.

Speaker 27 It's my pleasure.

Speaker 28 Burning in five seconds.

Speaker 30 You ready to go to the moon?

Speaker 31 Let's go to the fucking moon.

Speaker 23 Here comes the juice.

Speaker 5 You still there?

Speaker 10 Oh, I'm still here.

Speaker 2 Okay,

Speaker 1 take your time.

Speaker 10 An extraterrestrial

Speaker 10 that's correct. Yep.

Speaker 10 And

Speaker 10 yeah.

Speaker 5 Oh, I know. It's.

Speaker 10 This is the stupidest thing I've ever heard in my life.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, I know. I know.

Speaker 28 Your friend, the extraterrestrial, has told you that the comet isn't coming.

Speaker 2 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 18 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 5 Correct. Yeah, Celeste, if it's any help, I don't love the words coming out of my mouth either.

Speaker 5 You know, I

Speaker 5 feel like I'm in a fucking Michael Bay movie. But the problem is, there's no non-stupid way of saying this.
There's been an alien in town for a few weeks now, and

Speaker 5 they have told me that the comet is not coming.

Speaker 10 Lots of people out there think that aliens are talking to them, Frank.

Speaker 15 Mm-hmm.

Speaker 5 Yep, yeah, and I am aware of these people.

Speaker 17 These are not.

Speaker 17 These are not well people, Frank.

Speaker 5 Yeah, no, sure. And I am aware of that too.

Speaker 7 Uh-huh.

Speaker 17 So I'm just supposed to take your word for it?

Speaker 6 Uh,

Speaker 5 I mean, I'd love it if you did. You know, of course,

Speaker 5 of course, you could also ask yourself: how was Frank, a man who doesn't own a computer, able to hack into my top secret military base, right?

Speaker 5 And who was the mysterious friend of Frank's who somehow subdued all my guards the other night?

Speaker 18 That, you know, you could

Speaker 5 spend some time on that.

Speaker 5 Okay, Frank, benefit of the doubt.

Speaker 10 Great. What am I supposed to do with this information?

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 5 it's a good question. It's not like you can do anything about it.

Speaker 5 I'm betting Central Command will show up with a butterfly net if you tell them, so I guess we just wait for the comet to pass us by, and then they'll eventually catch on.

Speaker 5 I'm deeply skeptical.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 1 No, of course, Celeste Ann.

Speaker 5 And I respect that. I just figured, you know, spirit of transparency and all that.

Speaker 10 What are you telling people in town?

Speaker 5 Honestly, I'm not sure how much of a town we've got left. I'm thinking we're down to a quarter of our population at this point.
The sheep's eye is basically self-serve now. So I'll

Speaker 5 wait for everyone to come back here and then I'll tell them.

Speaker 5 No offense, Frank.

Speaker 10 But I'm going to operate as if this is all still happening.

Speaker 2 Yeah, no.

Speaker 5 Sure, you do you, Sarge.

Speaker 17 Okay, well, this has been illuminating.

Speaker 8 Really,

Speaker 5 it really has, hasn't it?

Speaker 17 Goodbye, Frank.

Speaker 10 Oh, while I've got you, can you tell me why Trinket needed a gas mask?

Speaker 5 A gas mask?

Speaker 3 Oh my god.

Speaker 21 Welcome to the moon.

Speaker 3 I can't believe this is happening.

Speaker 23 Are we close enough? This will do. I've got the signal decoding now.

Speaker 31 It it looks a lot. It looks a lot like Earth.
Is that weird?

Speaker 27 It used to be a part of the Earth.

Speaker 27 A long time ago, there was a collision that ripped them both apart. And the moon was just a ring of dust for a while, and then it became

Speaker 27 this.

Speaker 29 I can't believe I'm here.

Speaker 28 This is

Speaker 27 strange for me.

Speaker 28 What?

Speaker 28 I don't know.

Speaker 27 I've spent half my life in a ship like this traveling between one planet or another and

Speaker 27 I've gotten used to it. It's strange to hear someone experience it for the first time.

Speaker 29 I can't imagine ever getting used to this.

Speaker 31 I've looked up at this moon my whole life life, and

Speaker 31 I'm here.

Speaker 27 Looks better from afar, I'd imagine.

Speaker 31 No, no, it's beautiful.

Speaker 29 What was your moon like?

Speaker 30 Mine?

Speaker 29 Yeah, from your planet.

Speaker 28 They had nine of them.

Speaker 31 Nine?

Speaker 28 The nine eyes of Rakesh Guha, I called them. Rakesh Guha was the ancient god of the Vapians.

Speaker 28 As the story goes, Vapians Vapians were once two races of people, but one day, when the eyes of Rakesh Guha aligned, they were merged into one people.

Speaker 28 Explaining the four appendages.

Speaker 29 Do you not like talking about your planet?

Speaker 27 No,

Speaker 8 not really.

Speaker 29 I understand.

Speaker 29 I think you should, though.

Speaker 29 You should tell me about it.

Speaker 29 I want you to tell me everything.

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 28 I've got it.

Speaker 28 There were three different levels of encryption, and uh.

Speaker 28 What?

Speaker 28 I'll put the data on your screen.

Speaker 28 Um.

Speaker 27 Holy shit.

Speaker 29 What?

Speaker 27 Those

Speaker 28 motherfuckers!

Speaker 29 Verge!

Speaker 28 Elden Hartburn for Earth right now.

Speaker 31 They'll see us.

Speaker 17 Doesn't matter anymore.

Speaker 20 Verge, what's happening?

Speaker 25 Needra,

Speaker 25 we're going to be going very, very fast, but then the inertial dampeners will kick in, and it's gonna feel pretty strange, okay? Verge, tell me what's happening.

Speaker 25 You really want me to tell you everything? Yes.

Speaker 25 Okay,

Speaker 25 let's start at the beginning. Hundreds of years ago, a bunch of planets started getting a message of peace from a distant planet.

Speaker 25 In that message were instructions on how to build a warp gate to connect those two worlds. The message was from a planet called Ted.

Speaker 25 Building that gate was the worst decision any of those planets ever made.

Speaker 13 As the earth holds me,

Speaker 13 as the sky sees me,

Speaker 13 as the sun rises within me,

Speaker 23 I step out

Speaker 23 to greet the day.

Speaker 24 When I first

Speaker 13 decided this was the path I wanted to take in life,

Speaker 13 I knew I was going to need a teacher.

Speaker 13 I met a man named Chris Janda, but

Speaker 13 he insisted I call him Sitting Squirrel. He was a a pretty weird guy.

Speaker 13 I asked him once,

Speaker 13 what

Speaker 13 happened to all of us?

Speaker 13 How did all the other religions of the world

Speaker 21 explode,

Speaker 13 but all the practitioners faded into the background?

Speaker 13 How did one of the oldest traditions in the world get sent to the shadows so quickly?

Speaker 13 So he told me a story from Greek mythology.

Speaker 28 Apollo was

Speaker 13 in love with a wood nymph named Daphne, but she wanted nothing to do with him.

Speaker 1 She had sworn a life of celibacy to the god Artemis.

Speaker 13 Apollo didn't care, of course, and it all...

Speaker 13 It all wound up with him him chasing Daphne through the forest like a madman. And

Speaker 13 Daphne knew she couldn't outrun him.

Speaker 13 She had to do something.

Speaker 13 So

Speaker 13 she stood at the edge of a river and asked her father, a river god,

Speaker 13 to save her.

Speaker 32 And the only way to save her was through transformation.

Speaker 13 Her skin became bark.

Speaker 13 Her hair turned to leaves.

Speaker 32 And her feet took root in the ground.

Speaker 13 She was transformed into a laurel tree.

Speaker 13 It was.

Speaker 13 It was the only way to survive what was coming.

Speaker 32 Is that what you did,

Speaker 32 Cameron?

Speaker 13 You saw something coming that you couldn't survive, so you

Speaker 13 transformed into this?

Speaker 13 If so?

Speaker 13 Thank you.

Speaker 32 I'm told

Speaker 13 the mushrooms here can heal people.

Speaker 32 If that's true,

Speaker 13 then we may need them soon.

Speaker 13 So,

Speaker 13 I am standing here with my basket in one hand and my mushroom knife in the other, and I'm going to try to

Speaker 18 figure out what you've made for us.

Speaker 13 If this is all a gift,

Speaker 13 I'll be sure not to waste it.

Speaker 13 I promise.

Speaker 2 In the big rock candy mountain, you never change your socks.

Speaker 17 Frank, are you there?

Speaker 5 Elden, could you at least have the common decency to make the phone ring before you start talking through it? Oh, for God's sake.

Speaker 5 Happy?

Speaker 5 Hi, what is it, Elden? I have bird for you.

Speaker 30 Frank, I don't know if a lot of time, so just listen.

Speaker 28 I was wrong.

Speaker 30 The comet is headed for Earth. It's not going to be a direct hit, but it's going to be pretty bad.
In a nutshell, the Ted Empire, aka the bad guys, are trying to prevent a rebellion.

Speaker 30 They need a big distraction.

Speaker 30 All eyes are always on Earth television, so when a comet started heading for Earth, they deactivated the defense system they have around the planet and made it look like the comet was going to miss.

Speaker 30 Now, the entire system is going to watch while Earth gets raked over the coals and the Tets can quietly quell the rebellion while nobody's looking.

Speaker 30 We don't have a lot of time, so the town meeting you were going to have, keep it on the books. Deedre and I will be there soon and I'll explain everything.
Sorry about this, pal. My bad.
See you soon.

Speaker 1 Hey, Celeste.

Speaker 5 So it's a funny story.

Speaker 22 Every time I think these guys couldn't be any more fucked up, they go and lower the bar about five fucking rungs.

Speaker 4 Amazing.

Speaker 16 Sorry to ruin your first time in space.

Speaker 2 Fuck!

Speaker 12 So it's all really happening?

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 22 Yes.

Speaker 2 Yes.

Speaker 22 Yes, Deidre, I'm sorry.

Speaker 22 I don't want to believe it myself, but

Speaker 22 it's really happening.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 22 We need to get to the sheep's eye.

Speaker 22 I'm about to do something

Speaker 6 really ill-advised.

Speaker 12 Stay in your seat.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 12 Stay in your seat.

Speaker 2 Why?

Speaker 13 Because

Speaker 12 I'm about to sit on top of you.

Speaker 2 Hi,

Speaker 2 Hi.

Speaker 4 Didra.

Speaker 2 The world's ending.

Speaker 12 Exactly.

Speaker 5 Hey, everyone,

Speaker 5 thanks for being here. I know it's a little scary to leave the house these days, but so we're going to get started in just a minute.

Speaker 5 I've been told to wait.

Speaker 12 What are you gonna do?

Speaker 22 Can you hold my jacket for me?

Speaker 2 Sure,

Speaker 2 Verge. I'll be right back.

Speaker 5 Okay, Verge is here. So, you've probably seen Verge around town.
They'd like to say a few things.

Speaker 2 Hi. Hi.
So, hey, what

Speaker 5 are you going to do?

Speaker 22 You may want to stand back.

Speaker 22 Attention, people of earth.

Speaker 22 You have one month.

Speaker 6 If

Speaker 6 anyone forgot their glasses, that's one,

Speaker 6 two, three, four arms, okay.

Speaker 14 Sorry, Verge, go ahead.

Speaker 1 Welcome to the Horizon is made possible in part by our Monte Cristo level and above supporters. Wilson, Billy, Burtbert, Bethany, 2nd Bethany.
Society of Bethany's. Oh, Bethany, where art thou? Mr.

Speaker 1 Squizzle-Sizzle-Wizzle-Fizzle, the horrendous secret co-conspirator behind the long-ongoing Bethany War. Dances with Bethanies.
Banjo Bethany begins banjoing belated Bethany battle ballads.

Speaker 1 Avenge the stew. Three geese in a trench coat, all named Bethany, definitely not causing mischief in the ongoing Bethany War.
Green Mountain Hermit wants that NB Bethany stew recipe.

Speaker 1 Local Marsh Hag offers the NBBs a fully normal apple as an apology for all the antics. You can trust this one.

Speaker 2 All apples glow.

Speaker 1 The non-binary Bethanies take the apple from the Marsh Hag because why would they poison us twice? Introducing Reese Pontiff as the 22nd Bethany.

Speaker 1 This episode boldly beckons a bigger batch of brilliant binames brewing a bubbling Bethany stew to broaden the best finale brew.

Speaker 1 Gathering of Bethanies, drink from the water hole, a non-binary thylacine named Bethany, Byro the motherfucking dragon with his horde of Bethanies, Corvina the killer queen of Omicron Percy VIII, Dr.

Speaker 1 Bootiologist, the Glutes Doctor, Tobias Ewing, Rachel Meloche, Queen Surly Jess, Loppy Lolly, Adam Toclove, Dr.

Speaker 1 Bitchcraft, Miss Simo, Claire Rock, Jeka, Greybeard, Jacob Ulch, Colin Loves Roxy, the size 2 fish you've been asking for, Iokai, Natasha Without Boris, Stephanie Bridges, Lafayette Lasagna Lovers 1, The Main Immortal, Chil Neal, Sin City Scuba Steve, Polywog, Jinx the Judgmental But Well-Meaning Cat, Michaela White, Wilbur Winklewright, Wristwatch Wrangler of West Worcestershire on the Trail of the Dastardly Red Nell, Professor Thaddeus Snookums VIII, Mr.

Speaker 1 Grin, Glenn Petrofsky, the true trans traveler, Leaf's Orb, the one that got away, Rick Tyler, Elizabeth Hammond, Funch Brunglin, Steam Vision, Conductor of the Interdimensional Time-Spanning Hype Train, Dave Harold, Wise Cube, Dirty Diaper, Fuss Butt, and the Piggy Runt, Bromine, Pronounced Bro, Mine, Cat Cat, Mother of Pearl, El Chingon, Seal Face, Rigger Mortise, Elmo, Megan's Things, Things Megan Makes, Shiny Fields, Leah Godard, Magically Maggie, Trebek's Reject, Jeff CC, Matthew with Two T's, The First T is Silent, Bith Mithrithith, Rocknavlalathan, Smearnavlanathar, Darth Ox, Aaron Arnold, Bailey Burr, Amanda Tracy, Mamamander and Bobo Bonobo, Valen Real, The Tooth Fairy, They Paints, Undead Akira, Broom Goddess, Portagos Pex, Unselling Wizard, Ryan, Thomas's Ten Tenebris Tens Taffel Tippers, Treading Treacherously Tantamount to Telling Totalitarian Trope Termination, Ladies, For Your Pleasure, Chuck, Naked, The Lovely Lara Lovely, Jeremy the Ruler, Alex Church, Ahsoa, Gochi, Jacob Mitchell, Zeke in the Box, Stevie Crowhill, How to Get Jack from John, Joshua Soder, Gaba Ghoul, Scrubs Andy, Scratchy Kitty, Just some guy from Adelaide named Ryan, Bab's Got a Basketball Booty, The Green Street Major, Hazley J, Definitely Not Kevin, Any Crafts Anywhere, Rest in Peace, Mikey, Poet Without a Name, James Spillerosa, Unforkable, Billy the Space Wizard, Vivi Heim, Sierra Smith, Stelliot, Rainbrain, Phantom Zone, A Talking Dog Named Bronc, Hup Challenge, Xander Hicks, Dalen Foles, Jeep Style, Peggy Lubatsky, Siobhan Delilah Rose, Gregory the God of Chaos, sitting down to tea with the other beings of chaos.

Speaker 1 Keith Collins, Remy, the Panda Crew, Melody Prime, Beardo the Wizard, Whiskered, Anne Maestress, Randy Spears, Marissa the Ghost, Local Snowplows in your area are dying to meet you. Brotherford B.

Speaker 1 Chesterfield and his dapper companion Winchester. Wolfgang the Incredulous.

Speaker 1 Andrea Rose, Cheshire Corgi, Old Kelsey No Shoes, Share Bear17890, Zildia, Little Man from County Down, Jamie the Original, Happy Hippie Rainy, Sasha, Beth and Alan Van Gillis, Langston North, Sly Fox, Buggy, Timothy Aotis, Chance Wants You To Know He Cares, Wolfstock, Adrian Vance, Elliott, Hobbes DeCoe, Alexis Walker, Rory of Yin, Moobie the Golden Calf, Kirion, Giovanni Salinas, Rocky G, Perry the Pirate, Aaron Elizabeth, K-Narcotics, Solomon Price, Daydream, Angela Sanchez, Bubba485, aka Schemelbach, The Christmas Whale, Space Rooster Randy Roosts in Ava's Booth, Stella Corvus, My Love of Verge is Undying, Candyman Fight, Sketch Wolf, John Peters, You Know the Farmers, Barkley on the Holodeck, Lambo Swanson of the Swanson Otters, Dapper Dad, ADHD Brulee, SCP-049, O Magis, South Wayne, Michael Lorry, Raven the Dreamer, TK, Turtle King, Dominique Perry, Space-Based Lasers, Caption B and Lady G with their swabs, That's Good Gouda, The Clockwork Vixen, Verge Fangirl, and Designated Midnight Server, Ozneth the Author, Mr.

Speaker 1 Steamwave, My Friend the Rhino says, Be nice.

Speaker 1 Jupiter Defense Squad, Leaf's Lasersaw, Elizabeth T, Gus, Kyler Wren, Coco Yumi, Huggamuffin, Bigfoot of Doom, DL, Annie Atkins, Crandyman, Garot, Nick Gomez, Cold Blood, The Say of Ra, aka Blipo, Abernathy, Arcats said to Tale You, Meow, Brian Ed, and Kev, Del Casabro, Lord Denham, Jay Schmo, Benjamin Ortiz, Mr.

Speaker 1 Frog, President, Pop Rock, Quicksand, Abenasso, Mr. Rage, Ada, Spooky Spader, Storytime, Andy, I slit a sheet, a sheet I slit, upon a slitted sheet I sit.

Speaker 1 Xavier Killingsworth, Reformed Colonel Reb, Ghoster Alagamo, Kevin Daughtry, Adam Wolf, Martin Deeres, Entropy Eigenbasis, Robert Savat, Drink Spiller, Matt B., Richard Ryan Moshe, Theodore and his son Henzo, D.

Speaker 1 Flower, Kella T. Arena, Fall of the Berlin Wallaby, Parmesan Goose, Jen Rhodes, Kevin Lutra, Lauren Mayer, Jake the Cook, Ellen Berglund, Dylan Winslow, V.
Greenlee, Courtney Morris, Ryan Abbey.

Speaker 1 I hope something good happens to you today. Yes, you.

Speaker 1 Wasabi Lube Moonshine, Wasabi Lube's Mum, Turtle Boy, Arwen the Freer, Fridge Pickle, Jacqueline Snyder, Basil in their T, Keegan Diamond, Diamond, Ron Hayden, Dan Gentry, Vincent Yu, Stephen Durow, Whisperdan, Mad Maddox, Aaron Starr, Claude DeClause, Rachel Seymour, Chis Alfred the Bullheaded Professor, Bonjour, EC Alexandre Leroc, Le Canadien des Support Emotionale, Officiale pour Midnight Burger.

Speaker 1 For this message in English, press 2. Chris Janda, Ed Boy, Ryan Finelli, Jonathan K., Bert, Burt, Burt Burt, Burt Burt, Burt Burt, Burt Burt,

Speaker 1 Another Monster, Pettabite Avatar, Tugwin the Mighty, Project Octopus, Ken, Davin Royal, Captain Hambone, King Felix Blaze of the Third Street Saints, Scotty Oates, Iced Heart on Fire, Dan's Grounded Again, Dear Edna, I fear this poo may be my last.

Speaker 1 Speaku, Nick-Tac-Toe 2.0, Simply Tony, is Hold It Now, Hold It Now hid it a bit or a patron name? Gabriel Castellan, Vannaheim, Jamie of the Goblin Chaos, Whom, What?

Speaker 2 Why,

Speaker 18 where?

Speaker 1 Nico DiGallo goes great on Midnight Burgers. A dubious raptor, a drum major, and a trapeze artist walk into Connie's bar.
Retorted.

Speaker 1 God is love, love is king, cash green, sir party animal, Uloy Jackal, Cat with a K, Miss Shan Fizzle, Stomp be smoking on that Space Pirate Engineer pack, Lucifer Hezekiah, Lachi Huawa Brava, Cece Carousel, Korth the Destroyer, Honest Puck, Casper's Mom's a Milf.

Speaker 1 Scout and Fox Glove says the floor is lava, Red Nell, Kurdomsky, Craig Armstrong, Dulcet DeLeche, Zachary Langrer, Get Out of My Booth, Bug, Sad Angry Crab Man, Chuck McFinley, Hazel Hayes, Velocity Girl43, Little Dragon, Ben Carlisle, Freedom Rocks, The Pop Can Sally Quartet, Anna Kearney, Ashley Strange Lilia, The Four Schnauzers of the Apocalypse, Starbrace Burnbright, Imzuki Yoki, Jean-Luc Gabo, Doc Sweet, Ph.D., Lonely Isle, Chris Hinkle, Pike Man Stover, Sernoculus the Space Knight, Scrizzles, Thwap, Casey Judson, Kitty Kitty Kitty, The Firekeeper, Peace Reaper, The End is Nigh!

Speaker 1 Jeremiah the Cancelled, Brian Collins, Spike and Faye, Johnny Allen West, The Sketch of Otaku Gang, Wolf, Drake Elias, Fermi's Paradoxans, Speckled Unicorn, Jedi Rides Again, Tevin Longblade's Short Sword, Impatiently Waiting for the TARDIS, Forget Normal, Oh Diamond, David Chapman, C.J.

Speaker 1 Johnson, Saggy Bottoms 83, A Dragon Sitting on Its Horde of Dice, Wendell Whitaker, Smivey, Globed Roulette, Andrew Fuller, Danon Deb, The Soup Witch, Fetuschini Alfredo, Amalgamus Pax, Pebbles, Pebbles, Heathen King, Effie Rawlings, Megan Hazen, Nick Borrow, Midnight Plumber, Mr.

Speaker 1 Cherry, International House of Yearning, Cynical Warlock, Wayne Heiser, Elie Zito, Slev of Bahamut, Umbra Messaram, Cam and Micah, Omi Gracie, Jade Blade, Kellarton the Tired, a Ted named Todd, Fred and George, Sam the Celestial, Chucklin Charlie's Chicken Shack, Ava Maddox Jr., Cassie Williams, Yeet My Boy, 46 Tool Shed 2, The Image Collector, Blended Music, Lizzie R., Push Lynchen, Sitting Squirrel, Patricia E.

Speaker 1 Melt, wishes everyone a less traumatic than expected 2025, Red the Gray, I needed someone to make the TARDIS reference, Neverchild, Athanasios Nasir Shao Kat, Kaboko, Lil Kev, Kozamine, Jonathan Burton, Mr.

Speaker 1 Man and Lady, Joey B., Ali Malik, DJK, DJK, Mixed Terran Van Edinger, Sandalwood Mountain, Whimsical Fuckery, the person trying to contact you regarding your diner's extended warranty is having bottom surgery on January 22nd.

Speaker 1 Patricia the Time Lord, Mango Connoisseur, Owen Saucedo, The Big Moose, Glory Cole, Janelle Miaonet's Cat Butler, The Gentleman, Rest in Peace, Dear O'Sheen, Alex Berry, Eden DePoussay, Andrew Oakden, I Only Listen for the Names at the End, Avalon, Asymmetrical Exile, Magpie Cat says everything's a bag of holding if you know how to pack, Eliza Travels the Universe, Mike Anzavino, Lindsey Bowen The Goddamn Podcast Lawyer, Alex Spence, Galaxy Britches, Angry Ron, Durka Dub, Gloria's ex-girlfriend, Kelly Clickspring, The Wild Thistle, I Hate Samores, James Harlow, NecroPants Salesman of the Year, The Cosmos Cruising Cadillac, I'm Not Joe's Dad, Jasmine James, Dr.

Speaker 1 Caber Ant, Me as a Baby, Michael Odom, Zephyr McZero, Anatha, Zandria, Jennifer Calkins, Guacamoleo, Midday Burger, Dawn Parks, Throat Goat666, Princess Leia, Fish in a Bag, Kid Puncher 2006, Pumpkin Spice Monte Cristo, Dustin's Goose, Prime Freak, Walter Piakarsky, Droid Pirate Findlay, and his Ruben-esque Parrot, Stuck in a Pit of Skittles, Drunken Coyote, the impersonator known as Hitchhiker's Guide to a Laser Saw, Tony Piakarsky, Andrew R., Phoenix, Kimberderp, Mr.

Speaker 1 Tims, Dead Wait, The Harbinger Pulsar, Cremulous is just happy to be here, Kinetic Fox, The Twisted Twixter, Murty's Mama, Faye Queen, Chase Noseworthy, Core, Uopschnart, the Probability Demolition Expert, Mason Jeffrey Showtime Hester, C.R.

Speaker 1 Ipted, For My Mother, Homer, Are We Doing Crimes? Two Vegetarians and a Toxic Relationship with Burger, CCTX Girl68, Melissa Winskill, Nicole Studioso,

Speaker 1 Just a Potato, Indigo Escargo, Love My Captain, Joe Malma, Castriff, Ames Affection for Internet Protection, Retro MG, Snarky Bark00, The Cowboy, The Gainesville Fear Garden, Abby Kramer, Fresh Baked Lana Banana Bread with Chocolate Chips, Utred and Rose's Viking Void Vittles, Not Sure What I'm Doing, River Brown, Senior Deuce, Scullacy, Warped Ryder, Tim Nacy, Ruben Clamso, Scrambled Eggs, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie, Charlotte Tobiah, Glennis Thompson, Dustin Watson, Betty White813, Good Grief People, I Need to Breathe, Starscribe, Lucian Thunderstruck,

Speaker 1 Oh, Mamama, Drought Breaker, Glorbnar 7, Dooser Likes No Thinky, Just Dewey, The Other Adele, Chef Gal Val, Leah Hall, Sarah May, Mr.

Speaker 1 Arnie Arbuckle Sr., The Church Grimm, Sierra Not from Arkansas, Zigo, Ebenezer Boob, Gently Used Hot Dogs, Free for a Limited Time, Caleb Tumiala, Jason Woods, Arnie Arbuckle Esquire, Jake Cascade, Digital Floof Lost in Time, Potion Maestro, The Milkman, Nebula Dell, Regulators, Mount Up.

Speaker 1 Mad Yogi Eileen, Mr. Meepod, Palace, Rebecca Pope, Ethan Cobb, Big Mo, Brian O'Neill, Edward Pena.
I am Annie. I live forever in every moment I've existed.

Speaker 1 I swear to every star in the cosmos, I never forgot it was a gift.

Speaker 1 The Stone Fox, Solivia, Kyle from Detroit, Juiciton, Marauder Mitch and Pandergast, Pepitos, Boomhauer, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, prove to me that orange cats aren't gods.

Speaker 1 Britwards, Ashleysaurus, Momo's Mama, Tony Tony Tony, Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Fickle Phil, Myrtle, Caitlin, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Mr.

Speaker 1 Triggvy, Printing with Cats, Riley, Khaleesi Del Mar, Dixie Dina, Amanda Noscarella, Jose Zatino, Sonny Stagg, a representative of the Pill Owls, KBS 1017, Silas Vex, Sarah Jack Sparrow, Space Pony, Revibe, Debbie E, Emma, HBD, AJ and Aaliyah Obolewa, Mommy and Daddy Love You.

Speaker 1 Ducks in the wind. All we are is ducks in the wind.
Ronnie Porter, Eagle Rock Lobster, Mary Like the Virgin, Rosetta, The Phoenix Bird has returned, bringing snow and holiday cheer.

Speaker 1 Wandering Wenjo, painted Oni, Q Dale, Pharrell, Betty Hayes and the B-Team, Emily with two E's, Drowsy Rousey, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey Sniblick III, Kerplunk, Kerplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thribble?

Speaker 1 Mad Goat, Jackie Wavelet, Issa the Straga, De Greitzler, A Gremlin with the Munchies, My Time Has Come, Michelle Scaracchio, Genuine Jacob, Andy's Brain is Weird, Space Rooster Randy Doing Crimes, Leopard Donut, Mellow Nuggets, Keychain Crap, Matt Matt Sharkman, Steelo, Arcadia, Bumbling Lily Bee, Scipio Dudah, Buffy's Daughter, Emric, Bufardi's Nuts, Panda, Curtis Lelig, Tristan Stoles, Shadow Rapture, Leaf's Bastard Son Brizzo, Hank the Wonder Llama, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, Just a Regular Fox, Jeremy Ibsen, What the Hell, Cineplex, and all the black people in North Carolina.

Speaker 1 Just Rachel, Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Taurus Mash, the podcast for nerdy Jews, Axel, Patty the Ginger, Ava Cigarette Ash, Tim Lynch, Moisenberry, aka the Boys, A, Zeus, Anaphylaxis, Jack's Nightmare, Scav with Comtax, Kennan's Girlfriend Brooke, The Subaquatic Goblin Says, Joe, you've done it again, The Kells, Jenny on the Blockchain, Angry Leaf's Laser Saw, Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Christopher Kai, Randy's Amigo, Gremlock, Katie Mermaid, and the Delinquent Duo, Nauman, Nicole, WitchyCat 13 Loves IPAs, Unusually Big and Old, Invisible Elf Penis, Max Dangers, Security Chief Shatzi, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Naeanix Reno, Robert Frankenberry, High Life, Rear Admiral Jack Inhoff of the USS Rim Job, Honeybee, Nordalbash, Jordan, Rwin X Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, Average Height, Medium Rage, Audio Monkey, Joe, Team Hefeweisen, Monica and Mason K, Tony Wants to Be Laif, Rowan, Lady of the Black and Herald of the Stars, Ryan Burnett, Christy Casey, The Timid Ghost 23, Xivia's Mom, Dr.

Speaker 1 Dr.

Speaker 1 B, Zoprez and the Bumble Army, Growing Into My Farm Boots, The Geneva Accords, Brothers of the Cosine, Uncivil Gnomes, The Rat Queen Evelyn, Great Lunch Conversation, Your Humdinger Moonbringer, Letty Lou, Tibby, Shifty Nick 2, Electric Boogaloo, Kinger Was Here, Bobby Ray Winland Jr., Bebop Bidaba Doo Wop, Warped Echoes, Lord Robert O'Tardis, He's Bigger on the Inside, Jeremiah Franco, Isaiah Coleman, Celestial Warlock, Gabby Hayes My Wigglebutts, Gothic Rainbow, So We Made It, Kiana Crow, urges you to resist, Fossil Diver84, Micah Collins, Cody McClure, Eternal Champion, Jingolos, Eris, the Goddess of Discord, Hasmatilda, Ditzy Bay, Just Your Average Reese, Kyle Church, I Am a Lafe on the Wind, Static Ego, Some Farting Fart Wizard, Lolly, Evan M.

Speaker 1 Dobson, Going to Be Lit, I Am Shaggy, Captain Emerald L, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, Omega Nye, Frank in a Field, Sally Cell, Seashells by the Seashore, Colorado Southpaw, Fuzzle McBumpernits, Neelix Tiny Wolf, Christina Sennett, The Red Planet, Shane Robertson, definitely not an android.

Speaker 1 Seriously, I'm not!

Speaker 1 The Wandering Welshman, whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, BLTN, Scott Gygax, Glenn Morris, Crushable Hale53, Tequila Mockingbird, Damarin the Space Goblin, Locksmith Andy, Iso Pale, Rose Alt, Hopeful Ghost, Nake the Milkman, Mags the Conqueror, Wes and Heather have made it.

Speaker 1 Girl Scouts with a K and a Z. Eric, Katie Kate, get your colonoscopy.
It's the Cran Shahi's birthday.

Speaker 1 Victor Casados, Smiggs, Emily Shmemily, Work for Melvis, Von Grimm, Bohogo, Bye-bye for Jojo, Pogo, that's a no-go, bro. Cody Monster.
I am lure of the planet Omicron Percy I8.

Speaker 1 Kneel before your supreme ruler. The Gabber newspaper sounds like a ridiculous name, but they help protect democracy in Florida.

Speaker 1 Tybo, Miss Nixie, Baby Bate and Lee, Kyle Perino, Amber King, Sid the Sloth on a Bike, Priya Gandhi, Wandering Mermaid, understands the assignment, Lil Lil Stevie Pie, returned to Sender.

Speaker 1 Two Polar Cat is back and has Molotov cocktails for everyone. Did somebody say Fang's out? Carl, the teller of dad jokes, at least six gems.

Speaker 1 Skylab's multidimensional, multiphasic, intergalactic quantum cyberverse, Nikki H., Galen Miller, Tess, Geriatric Youngin, Mystic Hippie, Super Califragilistic XP Alex Nickel, Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacons, Kelly W., Holly Hooten, Pyro's Calling, Joe Suacian, Too Many Jans, Catjot, Pamela Rose Eltiera, then Stina says, Countess of Carbon, Slappy the Squirrel's Ted Slapping Rampage, Luminous Elk, Rodian Caution, Love is for the Nerds, Taz Hernandez, It's Just Tyson now, Joe is the Writer's Room, Awkward Heretic, Devin7777, Troy Aker, Mandy Kane, Estelle, Kim Sell, Silly Goose Honk Honk, Ghost Saber Wolf, The Sleepy Mystic, Mr.

Speaker 1 Alex Sir, Sarah Joy, Taters, Precious, Teddy of the Wasteland, Daniel Gregory, Dr.

Speaker 1 Glass, Sweets, Char Noble, Mere Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Chut, Brimble, Deidre, Mike Whiskey, and Your Friend Frosty, Biddy Biddy

Speaker 1 Bembar, Beastly Death, Sven the Unlikely, Cogdito Hazard Expunge, Ted Wassanasen, Virestria, Spoomples, Fernwood Gal, Twinkle Tots, Shocking Developments Nearby, Phantom's Moms, Callison, Horn Swagglin, Daniel Arthur, Mike LaClusie, Dex,

Speaker 1 It's a Fucking Dog Rapture, Abigail LaHoo, King Humble, We'd Better Ask Dave, Wind Chimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborne Welsh, Fireball XL5, Whatever's Clever, Alexica Habaniera, Code Stranger, One One Batty Bat,

Speaker 1 Matt N, Julia Kringlin, Frelp, M.

Speaker 1 Lin, Feed Mafish, JRR on SFP, Lahari, Rekka Ayumu, Teds Loves Catherine, J Spark, Eevee Girl, Lucid Harbor, Lil Lily Leopard Paws, Die at Night, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Maisie Span Stand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts McGorts, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Atlas B, Hold it Now,

Speaker 1 hold it now, hold it now. Hit it! It's the police! Open up! We just got a noise complaint about too many people hitting it!

Speaker 1 Bradley Ashby, Peter, Megan Okeo, William Dyer, Vicki Abear, Brad Munier, Jane, Hannah Dale, Stabby Cacti, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Killshot Betty in her Steel-Eyed Bow, Jackie Lowie, The Little Pigeon, Crazed Bear, Ivimala.

Speaker 1 You forgot to take out the trash, but Dr. Lattice Trash Angel has your back, and now, also, your credit card information, but don't worry.
Yes, my brain is weird. Thank you.
Bibbity Boppity Boom.

Speaker 1 Megan the Meg Young. Baby Bears Love the Diner.

Speaker 1 Corey Morose, Russell Bunny, Jane G, Max Savage, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Aranetta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Squatcher, Lord Than and Lady Sarah, Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Hurry Up and Wait, Sarah Farmer and Her Prismatic Chickens, Criddle, Heidelberty, Tom Webster, Rashmi Finkatesh, McClump, Rad Dolls, Salazar the Dome Mage, The Bard with the Tuba, Hayward's Finest Garen Elizondo, Terrified Toddler, Sir Shitzalot Strikes Again, Damn Animal, Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Sidewalk Jam, Sarah Maguire, Tonka 2005, Cruisin' V.

Speaker 1 Anthony, J.

Speaker 1 Way Mythical, Tybalt I, Stephen Schmidt, Xavier Romo, Tess Bart, Alley Frog, Trey the Turquoise Tortoise, Talon Lawson, Freya Titmittens, Courtney the Frogologist, The Fontucky Wrangler, Jessica Shelton, Screm Brulee, The Singing Loon, Zusana, Celeste Yos, I'm So Antigone Fun, Infinity Times Infinity, Noah and Katie, Joe R., Justin at the Tree Cave, The Ambergler, Boodles, Reaper, Osvaldo Simeoni, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Hot Plate of Biscuits and Gravy, Zehonivera, Barbarian Bloodbath, The Defenestration of Teds, Corrine Sabrantha, Beatrice Bodacious, Kyle of Light, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K-Mac, The Something Something Detective Agency, Hayabuddha, Eli the Electrician, TNB Lemmy, Charmay, The Wondrous Methazophon, Perstefanon, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Fennegan Robert, Flat Doug, Trinket Coralee, Deary Darling, Books Shift Managed, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Cody Chisholm, Chris Hancock, Nicole 23, Gracefully Impaired, Tired Pirate Muffin, Jay Snooston, Laura, Roman Ronin, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, and and Schuldigen, Cryptessia, Rebecca Trossel, Mitzi Lou, Kelsey Home, Casper's Number One Fan, Amanda Marie Catherine, Damien the Goddamn Time Lawyer, Deli Cruise.

Speaker 1 It's okay now, Joe Fisher. Matt Mosby, Saint Fu, Harry Fishnuts, Joshua Cody, Astronoweab, Starlight, Berserking Off, David Pierini, Techno Ranger Rick, Joe's Wheeze Laugh.

Speaker 1 Mossy would come up with a cool name, but sadly, she's just Mossy.

Speaker 1 LaCockney Francaise, Virgo Aries, Infinity, Best Buds, Danny and M, Ashley, A Bug Named Nat, Potato Nation, Cece Ryder, Hunter B, Rudra, Rusty Accord, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveri, Dan Bowman, Paul A.

Speaker 1 Johnson, Killer Odd, Dandy Bay, Dr. Punt Gusher Esquire says you can stay up until dawn.
He feels the flow of time in his bones.

Speaker 1 Creator67, Bajolanth, Lafe's One True Love, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, Deborah Wales, SCRB Mark11, Courtney Depona, Reedle the Beetle, John Dew, Maggie's Yarm, Stew, Anthonomy, Megan Mighty, Purple Saline, Miss Chris still making sandwiches, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Drew and LA, Anomalous Vandal, Captain Blepp, Eevee Power, Your Favorite Kenny, Terry, PJ Says What?

Speaker 1 Danielle, L, Shiny Melon Fear Now, Blargo, Blargo, Blargo, Tonight at 11,

Speaker 1 Yelate Raoul, Hicks Besi Mates, Disco Funkslinger, Zealous Pragma, Tuba Rick, Princess Donut, The Queen Anne Chonk, It's Just Blake.

Speaker 1 Alice Malice asks, How many chains could two chains chains if two chains could chain chains?

Speaker 1 Sir Cat Dad, Kelly Jane Danky, Aaron the Optimist, Thomas Stolen, aka Casper from another universe, Lucrezia, Andrew Barner, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Broccoini, Ava, No Not That Ava, the one with the

Speaker 1 Grim, Zacky Nat, Underwater Corvid, Spizzarinctum, Michael Christian, Ransom, Manoon Mysalil, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyralis, Om Vega, Aaron Mitchell, Lady Keonu Mysen, Fiona Malasy, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R.

Speaker 1 the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Tracy, Maloran, Brian Barletta, Sweet Michelle, Kara, Colmy Zen, Calibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, Lisa Geisler, India Holbert, the esteemed throat goat, Fred Fredberger, What the Chuck, Sono Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Nea DeRusso, Peachy Zatowichi, Justine Burbank, Inky the Kraken, Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar, Ruth McCormick, Dalek Steve, Dancing Dog Dreams, and existentially, Exhausted Bean.

Speaker 24 The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.

Speaker 3 This is the story of the one.

Speaker 24 As a custodial supervisor at a high school, he knows that during cold and flu season, germs spread fast.

Speaker 24 It's why he partners with Granger to stay fully stocked on the products and supplies he needs, from tissues to disinfectants to floor scrubbers.

Speaker 24 Also that he can help students, staff, and teachers stay healthy and focused. Call 1-800GRANGER, clickgranger.com, or just stop by.

Speaker 1 Granger for the ones who get it done.