Welcome to the Horizon Part 7: Double Deidre

Transcript

Speaker 1 This episode is brought to you by Quince.

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Speaker 1 Hey, folks, before we get started, I just wanted to make a brief announcement.

Speaker 1 Remember last season when we were going through the season, and then we suddenly realized that I actually would like two additional episodes of the season? That was a good time, right?

Speaker 1 That's kind of happening again this season, only this time it's happening with the mini-series.

Speaker 1 So, Welcome to the Horizon was meant to be nine episodes altogether, but now now I'm thinking that it needs to be more like 11.

Speaker 1 So there's going to be two additional episodes of Welcome to the Horizon coming to your feed. So just to let you know that when episode nine hits, that is not the end.

Speaker 1 Usually when I start doing a season, I have kind of a grocery list of things, and it's about developing the connective tissue between those things.

Speaker 1 And sometimes I need a little more connective tissue.

Speaker 1 And that's part of the joy of an independently produced audio drama because, you know, if this were a TV show, you'd be locked into 10 episodes and you wouldn't be able to do anything about it.

Speaker 1 But we can because,

Speaker 1 as you all know, the defining characteristic of the Nightburger is we do what we want.

Speaker 1 And that's what we want to do. So that's what we're doing.
Anyway, enjoy two additional episodes of Welcome to the Horizon. I know we're going to enjoy them.
And without further ado,

Speaker 1 here comes the episode.

Speaker 2 How are you feeling?

Speaker 6 Feeling alright.

Speaker 4 Good.

Speaker 6 How are you feeling, Frank?

Speaker 2 Well, I've got a truck full of scrapwood and I'm boarding up Deidre's windows. How do you think I'm feeling?

Speaker 2 Can I help?

Speaker 2 Do you know how to board up a window?

Speaker 7 No. No! No.

Speaker 2 You don't!

Speaker 2 Apparently, hidden somewhere in all these trees is a spaceship that you can fly to a distant planet, but you don't know how to board up a window.

Speaker 2 Ironies abound.

Speaker 9 I'm sorry, Frank.

Speaker 2 No, apologies aren't subject to the transitive property verge. Apologizing to me doesn't mean you've apologized to the person you need to apologize to.

Speaker 6 I don't think she wants to talk to me.

Speaker 2 That actually doesn't matter when you need to apologize to someone.

Speaker 6 I don't mean she's mad at me. I mean she is scared of me, Frank.

Speaker 2 And that actually doesn't matter either.

Speaker 6 I don't think your folksy earthling wisdom applies to this particular situation.

Speaker 2 Yes, it does, Verge.

Speaker 11 Do you know why?

Speaker 2 Because it's my fucking town.

Speaker 2 We didn't start playing by your rules when you got here.

Speaker 12 You play by ours. Look,

Speaker 6 I came to tell you that I'm leaving.

Speaker 6 I came to tell you that I'm sorry and I'm leaving.

Speaker 11 You won't have to worry about your town or your rules anymore because I won't be here, alright?

Speaker 6 One less thing you have to worry about.

Speaker 15 No.

Speaker 2 No, you're not leaving.

Speaker 2 Yes, I am.

Speaker 2 You're not.

Speaker 6 Frank, I am trying to make this easy.

Speaker 16 Easy?

Speaker 2 Easy.

Speaker 2 So there was a fucking laser gun shootout and you and Deidre were almost killed. You're trying to make it easy?

Speaker 6 You know what I mean.

Speaker 2 Well, here's what I mean. If you decide to fuck off now and head for Tatooine or whatever,

Speaker 2 what was your last known position, Verge?

Speaker 2 Right.

Speaker 2 It was right here.

Speaker 2 And that means that more of your space friends are going to show up here looking for you, and that's going to be a problem for us.

Speaker 2 This means that you are going to have to stick around and deal with this problem yourself. That is what a good person would do.

Speaker 6 I haven't exactly been truthful since I've been here, but at no point did I try and convince you that I was a good person.

Speaker 1 Well.

Speaker 2 Then I guess you can do whatever the fuck you want then. Can't you?

Speaker 6 I've never been able to do what I want.

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 2 and that grants you nothing, Burge. Your life being rough does not entitle you to make it rough for others.
It grants you nothing.

Speaker 14 Look,

Speaker 2 I'm telling you what a good person would do. The rest is up to you.

Speaker 2 Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to finish boarding up these windows so that Deidre can actually live in her home.

Speaker 17 So how long are you going to be doing this for?

Speaker 13 You have a problem with my bartending, Steve.

Speaker 14 No, I was just wondering.

Speaker 19 You have a problem with my bartending.

Speaker 16 No.

Speaker 23 After all I've done for you, you're going to criticize my bartending.

Speaker 19 You ungrateful little twin.

Speaker 11 I'm saying I think you're good at it.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah?

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 14 You've got a real knack for it. I do? Yeah.

Speaker 23 I'm making the drinks too strong is what this is telling me.

Speaker 14 I think they're perfect.

Speaker 10 Speaking of which, what are you doing, day drinking?

Speaker 23 We need everybody to bring their A-game right now and you're over there on your second tequila sunrise.

Speaker 21 June,

Speaker 17 everybody in town is day drinking these days.

Speaker 26 And by the way,

Speaker 17 I asked for a tequila sunrise and you brought me a Bay Breeze.

Speaker 23 I'm not taking notes at this time.

Speaker 27 Okay, I got a keg of full sale here.

Speaker 22 Thank you, Doug.

Speaker 13 Look at Doug.

Speaker 13 Helping.

Speaker 26 I'm helping. I'm contributing to the local economy.

Speaker 23 You just asked me if you could pay for your drinks with Dogecoin.

Speaker 26 It's a valid currency.

Speaker 23 It is neither valid nor currency.

Speaker 7 Um, hey, guys, has anyone seen Celeste recently?

Speaker 26 Celeste.

Speaker 17 Celeste, um.

Speaker 25 She hasn't been to the story in a while.

Speaker 7 Oh.

Speaker 14 Great.

Speaker 23 That's just fucking great.

Speaker 29 Hey, June, I'm here. Um, sorry, I can't seem to get used to sleeping somewhere else.
I really appreciate you doing this for me. Um, can you do me another favor, though?

Speaker 29 I need to go to the hardware store. Frank made me a list of things that I need to order so he can fix everything.

Speaker 29 I need to just run across the street and give them this list.

Speaker 29 Also, can you help me find a way to pay Frank for everything he's doing? I'm going to offer to pay him, and I'm sure he's going to say, don't worry about it.

Speaker 29 And then I will proceed to feel guilty for the rest of my life. God damn, that house was built in 1923.
Oh my god, it just breaks my heart.

Speaker 29 And why is everyone looking at me?

Speaker 16 Deidre,

Speaker 17 you just did this.

Speaker 29 What?

Speaker 19 You just.

Speaker 25 You were in here five minutes ago and you just said the exact same thing.

Speaker 29 Okay, um, y'all, I know I'm usually going nine different ways, but I think I'd remember if I'd already come in here this morning.

Speaker 25 Oh, Jesus, are we all high again?

Speaker 19 I don't feel high.

Speaker 11 I do, but I mean, I am.

Speaker 28 Can

Speaker 25 deja vu happen as a group?

Speaker 17 I thought deja vu was just that feeling that something happened again.

Speaker 19 Yeah, I mean, we were all right here.

Speaker 10 When Deidre walked in,

Speaker 23 you said everything

Speaker 23 exactly the way you said it just now.

Speaker 5 Did

Speaker 29 did did I forget everything I just did?

Speaker 26 Happens to me all the time.

Speaker 30 Not comforting. Oh, Deidre, maybe

Speaker 25 try and retrace your steps.

Speaker 23 She's not trying to find her keys, Doug.

Speaker 31 What the fuck?

Speaker 21 Hang on.

Speaker 29 Sheep's eye.

Speaker 18 Oh, hey.

Speaker 14 Deidre.

Speaker 5 You.

Speaker 22 You need a few more minutes.

Speaker 32 Sure.

Speaker 33 No problem.

Speaker 5 I'll...

Speaker 10 I'll see you when I see you.

Speaker 18 Bye-bye.

Speaker 10 Everybody remain calm.

Speaker 5 Douppleganger.

Speaker 8 FIF! Douppleganger!

Speaker 32 FIF! I...

Speaker 24 And a very superstitious German grandmother.

Speaker 5 Her number one fear?

Speaker 24 The Douppelganger.

Speaker 5 What is it?

Speaker 24 It's your spirit double. It's a harbinger of doom and destruction.
Mine got.

Speaker 5 Oh, God.

Speaker 16 No, no, no, no.

Speaker 5 Stop.

Speaker 25 Everybody, stop

Speaker 5 for a minute.

Speaker 25 Okay, Steve, I know everything is crazy right now, but I feel comfortable ruling out German mysticism. Do you're folly?

Speaker 19 Steve, I am going to throw a glass at you so hard.

Speaker 27 No, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 25 Let's slow down and just, and we can talk about what we know for sure.

Speaker 20 Okay, okay, good.

Speaker 23 Doug coming in as the rare voice of reason. Let's hear it, Doug.

Speaker 14 Well, oh, oh,

Speaker 25 what do we know for sure?

Speaker 25 We know that Deidre is standing right here with us. And we also know that Deidre just called June on the phone.

Speaker 28 But that's all we know.

Speaker 25 Oh, June, what did Deidre say?

Speaker 10 Which one?

Speaker 27 Oh, no, the one on the phone.

Speaker 23 She said that they had to make a few calls at the hardware store to make sure she could get all the things she needed, that she was going to need a few minutes.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 5 And then?

Speaker 14 And then, and then she'd be back.

Speaker 26 She'd be back. She can't come back.
What if something bad happens when she meets our doppelganger?

Speaker 33 If you say doppelganger one more time.

Speaker 16 No, no, okay, okay, okay, okay.

Speaker 27 Wait, wait.

Speaker 5 Um,

Speaker 25 we we need to get eyes on her.

Speaker 23 She was just in here.

Speaker 30 What if

Speaker 16 if if it.

Speaker 11 Oh, oh, some kind of

Speaker 28 time thing.

Speaker 25 We need to absolutely confirm that there's a Deidre in here and a Deidre across the street.

Speaker 16 No, I'm not doing that.

Speaker 14 I, oh, oh,

Speaker 7 I will do it.

Speaker 19 Doug,

Speaker 2 are you sure?

Speaker 7 I'm sure.

Speaker 7 I'm sure. I will head over there

Speaker 7 and and act casual.

Speaker 10 You, Doug,

Speaker 19 are going to act casual.

Speaker 5 Sure,

Speaker 7 sure, I am

Speaker 14 fuck it. Okay,

Speaker 23 don't get cloned, Doug.

Speaker 5 Okay,

Speaker 5 I'm fine.

Speaker 5 You're fine.

Speaker 5 Oh, you're fine.

Speaker 14 Oh my god.

Speaker 29 Hey, Doug.

Speaker 5 Hello, Deidre.

Speaker 14 What are you doing here?

Speaker 29 Oh, Frank gave me a list of things I need to rehab my house.

Speaker 7 I see.

Speaker 11 And how long have you been here?

Speaker 29 Um,

Speaker 29 about ten minutes, I guess. That house is so old, I have to make sure I get wood that matches.

Speaker 29 I don't actually think it's a big deal, but Frank says it'll start to look weird over time if I don't use the right wood.

Speaker 25 Yes, we don't want things to look weird.

Speaker 29 I guess.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 25 It was very enjoyable to see you, Deidre.

Speaker 34 Bye, Doug.

Speaker 14 Goodbye.

Speaker 7 That was terrifying.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 2 Let's be real, Frank. Would you rather be fixing this house than dealing with whatever freak show you're sure is happening in town today?

Speaker 2 The answer comes back: yes.

Speaker 4 Hey,

Speaker 17 day off.

Speaker 2 When was the last time you had one of those?

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 2 well, hello there, Elijah Craig, eighteen-year-old.

Speaker 14 Oh,

Speaker 2 what are you doing down there?

Speaker 2 Is drinking while fixing a house advised? No, no, it is not.

Speaker 16 But perhaps I should ask the foreman.

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 2 wait,

Speaker 12 that's me.

Speaker 12 Well.

Speaker 5 Hello.

Speaker 13 We've got a problem.

Speaker 14 Yeah, no shit.

Speaker 23 There are two Deirdres in town.

Speaker 4 What does that mean?

Speaker 23 Like, literally,

Speaker 23 two Deirdres?

Speaker 23 One's at the hardware store, and the other is standing right here.

Speaker 24 Huh.

Speaker 2 Well, it sounds like Deirdre's going to get a lot done today.

Speaker 23 Frank,

Speaker 23 Today's weird thing has arrived. Do you want to clock in?

Speaker 4 Wow.

Speaker 2 I think you got this one, June.

Speaker 23 Oh, I do. Do I?

Speaker 16 Yeah.

Speaker 33 Oh, Frank.

Speaker 23 It's just me.

Speaker 23 Steve, Doug, and Deirdre number one over here.

Speaker 14 Wow.

Speaker 2 Sounds like you've assembled a cracked team. So.
What the hell is wrong with you?

Speaker 23 Are there two Franks now?

Speaker 2 I sure hope so, because I could use a hand over here.

Speaker 22 You're just going to abandon me.

Speaker 3 June, today,

Speaker 2 I have to figure out how to get alien blood out of oak flooring. You want to switch places?

Speaker 23 Okay, so I guess I'm stuck here then. Best of luck.

Speaker 16 Well?

Speaker 5 Um.

Speaker 7 Confirmed.

Speaker 11 I'm not gonna say what's on my mind right now,

Speaker 11 but it begins with Doppel

Speaker 11 and ends with Gonga.

Speaker 10 I didn't say it! We need better ideas, Steve.

Speaker 26 Is it an android?

Speaker 28 Uh, no, definitely not an android.

Speaker 7 Oh, shit!

Speaker 11 Oh, shit!

Speaker 13 Body stature!

Speaker 5 For fuck's sake! Dave! Teidra,

Speaker 11 have you had anything strange happen lately?

Speaker 17 Lost time.

Speaker 11 Have you had anything happen that you might consider a close encounter with an alien race?

Speaker 14 Say that again. Aliens

Speaker 11 can sample your DNA.

Speaker 11 They can walk among us and we'd never know it.

Speaker 14 My DNA.

Speaker 10 Hey, Deidre,

Speaker 13 let's go to the bathroom.

Speaker 20 Like girls do. You know the thing?

Speaker 19 Where girls go to the bathroom together?

Speaker 5 Oh, God.

Speaker 29 Oh, God.

Speaker 19 Keep it together.

Speaker 19 Oh, God.

Speaker 26 Oh, God. Breathe.

Speaker 14 We're breathing. June.

Speaker 29 I've had a close encounter with an alien.

Speaker 20 That's not breathing.

Speaker 23 That doesn't sound like breathing.

Speaker 29 It was a real close encounter, June.

Speaker 23 How about a happy place?

Speaker 23 Let's find a happy place.

Speaker 29 Have I?

Speaker 29 Has my body been snatched? Have I been replaced?

Speaker 14 What is happening, June? I'm

Speaker 23 sure that's not it.

Speaker 29 Is that a thing that can happen? Only in the movies.

Speaker 29 Everything that is happening in town are things that only happen in movies, June. Deedric, come on.

Speaker 32 That's not true.

Speaker 10 Giant exploding dogs.

Speaker 32 Ghostbusters.

Speaker 10 Time-traveling cowboys.

Speaker 29 Back to the future, part three.

Speaker 10 Aliens attacking a small town.

Speaker 29 Aliens are always attacking a small town in the movies.

Speaker 34 Okay.

Speaker 19 First of all, excellent movie knowledge.

Speaker 10 June. Hey, considering how things are going in town these days,

Speaker 23 this could be anything.

Speaker 29 I have to see.

Speaker 5 No,

Speaker 5 no, no, no.

Speaker 29 I have to see June.

Speaker 29 I'm walking around in town right now, but I'm also right here.

Speaker 10 I strongly urge you to not do that.

Speaker 29 I had a really terrifying experience the other night, June. I know.
When is this town going to give me a break?

Speaker 10 Not today,

Speaker 10 but really,

Speaker 10 I'm sure anytime now.

Speaker 29 What do I do? Just wait here? What happens when I come back from the hardware store and I meet myself?

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 18 Let's get a plan together.

Speaker 32 Okay, plans are good, right?

Speaker 29 Yeah, plans are good.

Speaker 31 Let's

Speaker 23 eliminate some possibilities.

Speaker 22 I'm going to go talk to Verge.

Speaker 10 Don't do that.

Speaker 18 It'll be fine.

Speaker 23 I'll head over to the horizon and we'll have a nice casual chat.

Speaker 26 Hey, Verge, how are you feeling?

Speaker 23 How are your laser gun injuries?

Speaker 14 Also,

Speaker 20 do you happen to clone people after you bang them?

Speaker 13 Super casual.

Speaker 29 It really was a nice night.

Speaker 7 Sweetie, I know.

Speaker 20 If it's any condolence, I really admire you.

Speaker 14 Why in the world would you do that?

Speaker 5 Sandra, come on.

Speaker 10 You're the girl in the small town that the wandering alien falls for. That's classic shit.

Speaker 23 Starman, man who fell to Earth. Earth Girls Are Easy.
Sorry about that last one.

Speaker 29 And what happens at the end of all those movies?

Speaker 23 The alien usually goes back to space.

Speaker 29 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Okay, Okay,

Speaker 1 come on.

Speaker 23 Scared, Deidre, is better than depressed, Deidre. I'm going to go talk to Verge, and you are staying here, and you are not going to talk to the weird version of yourself that's out there, okay?

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 24 Scared, Deidre.

Speaker 10 Not depressed, Deidre.

Speaker 29 Scared, Deidre.

Speaker 7 You're terrified.

Speaker 31 I'm terrified.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 13 Here I go.

Speaker 23 Okay, dummies. Your job is to stay here with Deidre

Speaker 10 and make sure the two Deidras do not meet.

Speaker 25 What do we do if she comes in here?

Speaker 14 I don't know.

Speaker 29 Hide her somewhere?

Speaker 26 Why did we get him mixed up?

Speaker 17 And how are we supposed to tell him apart?

Speaker 1 Jesus.

Speaker 23 Give me your hand.

Speaker 23 I have just sharpied a big black X on the real Deidre's hand.

Speaker 10 Okay, don't fuck this up, you two.

Speaker 2 In the big rock candy mountains, you never change your socks, and the little streams of alcohol come a trickling down the rocks.

Speaker 2 Damien Lillard, why

Speaker 2 the High Priestess has arrived.

Speaker 4 Hey!

Speaker 4 Hello!

Speaker 34 I saw your truck.

Speaker 29 Thought I'd say hi.

Speaker 2 I am engaging in my favorite pastime: drinking bourbon and complaining about the Trailblazers.

Speaker 5 Frank?

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 29 What happened to Deidre's house?

Speaker 2 Where have you been the past few days?

Speaker 3 Foraging.

Speaker 4 Oh,

Speaker 2 what'd you get?

Speaker 29 Dandelion greens,

Speaker 29 hazelnuts, and thimbleberries.

Speaker 2 Seriously, what is your life?

Speaker 5 Frank.

Speaker 2 It got real fucked up, Trinket.

Speaker 29 I can see.

Speaker 2 But I have to say, they don't make them like this anymore. Bones are still good.

Speaker 2 I'll have her ship shape in a few days.

Speaker 29 Frank!

Speaker 2 Trinket.

Speaker 2 Are you ready to come inside?

Speaker 29 Inside the house?

Speaker 2 No, I mean, you know how sometimes you wish you hadn't asked something? It's like that.

Speaker 2 Are you ready to come inside?

Speaker 5 Sure.

Speaker 5 Well then,

Speaker 2 go inside. and get yourself a glass

Speaker 32 June. Hi!

Speaker 8 What?

Speaker 22 Did you clone Deidre?

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 10 Did you make a clone of Deidre?

Speaker 6 What are you talking about?

Speaker 20 There are two Deidras in town.

Speaker 22 There's a Deidre at the sheep's eye and a Deidre at the hardware store.

Speaker 10 You done any cloning lately?

Speaker 5 Or?

Speaker 6 I can't clone people.

Speaker 22 Are you sure?

Speaker 6 Well, let me really think about it.

Speaker 9 Hmm.

Speaker 23 Why are there two Deidras in town?

Speaker 23 I don't know. Where's Mr.
Smarty Pants? Elden?

Speaker 35 Please, Mr.

Speaker 36 Smarty Pants was my father.

Speaker 27 Elden.

Speaker 10 How could there be two Deidras in town?

Speaker 20 Has she been cloned?

Speaker 36 Unlikely.

Speaker 13 How unlikely?

Speaker 36 Cloning is possible. Your planet has even done it.
The men that attacked her house were clones.

Speaker 14 Oh, fuck, really?

Speaker 36 Yes, but cloning is not an overnight process. For Deidre to be sampled and cloned would take several Earth months at least just to get an embryo.

Speaker 23 Well, then, what's the deal, Elden?

Speaker 36 Tell me exactly what happened.

Speaker 23 I was bartending at the sheep's eye. Deidre walked in and said she needed a few more minutes before she started and listed off all the things she has to do today.

Speaker 23 Then a few minutes later she came in again and said the exact same thing. Now there's two of them.

Speaker 36 It sounds like you have a temporal anomaly on your hands.

Speaker 14 Oh well, how did that happen?

Speaker 36 It's extremely rare, but it's possible.

Speaker 36 Imagine the universe is encased in a giant cube of jello. If you press on any side of the jello cube, the fabric of time within the cube can bend and loop and cross over.

Speaker 36 Events may repeat themselves, elongate, or skip forward. It happens.

Speaker 23 What are we supposed to do about it?

Speaker 36 There's nothing to be done. These things usually work themselves out.

Speaker 23 Oh, so we just sit here.

Speaker 1 It is important to stay away from the anomaly.

Speaker 14 Why?

Speaker 36 The more you interact with an anomaly, the more the chance of its solidifying and becoming a permanent fixture.

Speaker 20 Okay, I only

Speaker 20 talked to her the one time.

Speaker 36 June,

Speaker 36 you don't know which one of them is the anomaly.

Speaker 36 Did you stay away from both of them?

Speaker 16 Well, shit.

Speaker 36 Uh-huh. Where are the Deidras now?

Speaker 20 One's at the Sheep's Eye and one's at the hardware store.

Speaker 36 Well, it's early yet, but I'd say we're well on our way to there being two permanent Deidras in town.

Speaker 10 Oh, that sounds bad.

Speaker 36 I'm sure everyone would get used to it eventually.

Speaker 23 Yeah, I don't think so, Elden. What else have you got for me?

Speaker 36 Well, it's theoretical, but you could try merging them.

Speaker 13 How?

Speaker 36 Get them in the same room and hope for the best.

Speaker 23 That sounds really ill-advised, Elden.

Speaker 36 I have access to the knowledge of three galaxies, June. What do you have other than your encyclopedic knowledge of Forestcape?

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 10 You don't have to be a dick about it.

Speaker 36 If you can get them in the same room and have them focused on the same thing, get them of the same mind, get their thoughts and attentions aligned, you may be able to merge the anomaly with the original without having to sacrifice either.

Speaker 14 Okay.

Speaker 29 I love Deidre.

Speaker 23 I really do.

Speaker 5 Focus though.

Speaker 5 Oh,

Speaker 6 for fuck's sake. Um,

Speaker 9 I have an idea.

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Speaker 5 Hey, guys.

Speaker 29 What's going on?

Speaker 11 How are you doing today?

Speaker 29 Fine.

Speaker 26 Deidre,

Speaker 17 I'm afraid we need you to come with us.

Speaker 29 What's going on?

Speaker 27 Oh,

Speaker 25 we need you back at the sheep's eye.

Speaker 29 Guys, I know. There's a bunch of stuff I need to do right now, though.
It's kind of an emergency.

Speaker 17 Yeah, this is kind of an emergency too, Deidre.

Speaker 29 What do you mean?

Speaker 1 What's wrong? There's a

Speaker 1 problem back at the bar.

Speaker 29 God.

Speaker 29 What now?

Speaker 5 Oh,

Speaker 25 there's a

Speaker 5 raccoon.

Speaker 16 Oh.

Speaker 14 There is a raccoon inside.

Speaker 34 Buck.

Speaker 29 Really?

Speaker 29 How the fuck did a raccoon get in there?

Speaker 5 Oh, we don't know.

Speaker 16 And we think it's rabbit. What?

Speaker 14 What?

Speaker 30 Oh, oh, yes.

Speaker 25 Oh, it attacked June.

Speaker 29 It attacked her.

Speaker 31 Is she okay?

Speaker 7 I mean, who knows?

Speaker 26 It's a rabid raccoon, Deidre.

Speaker 28 Oh, you've got to come with us.

Speaker 29 What am I supposed to do about it? We have to do what we always do.

Speaker 29 Do you remember when Sue Watts had that aggressive Pine Martin in her pantry?

Speaker 29 We've got to call Animal Control. Uh, hang on.
I have their number still.

Speaker 17 Oh, uh, actually, I think we should go in there and deal with it.

Speaker 29 None of us should be dealing with the rabbit animal. We need to call.

Speaker 34 Just hang on a second.

Speaker 14 But, um, ah, fuck it. Grab her.
Oh, God. Guys, whoa, what are you doing?

Speaker 25 We're sorry Deidre.

Speaker 27 This is for your own good.

Speaker 16 It all makes sense. We promise

Speaker 25 we need to get you inside the sheep's eye.

Speaker 29 I am not going in there. There is a rabid animal in there.

Speaker 14 It's not a rabbit animal.

Speaker 22 What is it? Hey Deidre, how are you?

Speaker 29 June, will you tell them to let go of me?

Speaker 14 Guys, what the fuck? Sorry.

Speaker 16 He told her it was a rabbit raccoon and it didn't go well.

Speaker 29 Jesus Christ, get her in there.

Speaker 13 Juna.

Speaker 23 Deidre, I love you so much, and it's all gonna make sense in a second here.

Speaker 29 Why is everyone acting crazy?

Speaker 19 Daisy like a fox, though.

Speaker 23 What the fuck? What do we think? Ten minutes, five. What is happening?

Speaker 23 Let's say ten.

Speaker 2 Can I refill your drink?

Speaker 2 I

Speaker 2 how

Speaker 5 Because

Speaker 14 because it's funny,

Speaker 12 it's not funny.

Speaker 10 Oh, sure, it is.

Speaker 29 Alien, yeah,

Speaker 14 yep. I I

Speaker 2 so I'm gonna assume that that is a yes on the refill

Speaker 5 they

Speaker 16 look human.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 2 You know, they wear some sort of thing that disguises them.

Speaker 30 Fuck off. No, I'm serious.

Speaker 2 You're making this up.

Speaker 29 This is you making fun of me.

Speaker 2 Trigger, you were standing there in Cameron's house and they pulled out a laser gun to clear the mushrooms.

Speaker 29 I don't keep up on technology.

Speaker 4 Oh.

Speaker 14 Okay.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 you thought ray guns were now available in stores?

Speaker 3 Drink it.

Speaker 2 I don't know what to tell you.

Speaker 2 Alien with a laser gun

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 here we are.

Speaker 7 So

Speaker 14 what

Speaker 2 it's okay, you can ask

Speaker 24 what do they really look like

Speaker 1 I knew it.

Speaker 2 I knew it, honestly.

Speaker 2 Not that much different from what you see.

Speaker 14 Okay,

Speaker 12 plus

Speaker 7 two more arms

Speaker 5 arms

Speaker 16 They have four arms?

Speaker 2 What

Speaker 2 Miyamigo?

Speaker 29 You've seen them. Oh, yeah.

Speaker 16 Yes.

Speaker 26 So

Speaker 2 at first, it was very disturbing.

Speaker 15 But then,

Speaker 2 I thought about all the times I had to carry three coffees instead of two, and then I was just jealous.

Speaker 5 What the fuck, Frank?

Speaker 2 I think it's important that we have reached this stage.

Speaker 29 What stage?

Speaker 3 The

Speaker 2 throwing up your hands stage.

Speaker 29 I'm not at that stage yet.

Speaker 2 In a very short period of time, I've gone from a time-traveling cowboy.

Speaker 5 What the fuck?

Speaker 4 To

Speaker 2 late night showdown with alien vaders?

Speaker 15 Whatever.

Speaker 2 You know, it's nice over on my side. You should join me.

Speaker 29 It fucks with my belief system, Frank. You don't have a belief system to fuck with me.

Speaker 2 Trinket, come on.

Speaker 2 Did you expect two druids 3,000 years ago to be like,

Speaker 2 but guys,

Speaker 2 what about aliens?

Speaker 12 People believe things.

Speaker 2 And that's not bad sometimes. Well, I mean, sometimes it's really fucking terrible.
But we strap on these belief systems that are all based on the shit we now.

Speaker 2 What about all the shit we don't know?

Speaker 29 Don't don't use this as an excuse to make fun of the witch, please.

Speaker 15 I am not. I'm not.

Speaker 14 Look,

Speaker 2 Trinket, I don't have any problem with the things you believe. Yes, you do.
No, okay, the smudge sticks and the magic rocks and the flowing garments. Yes, 100%.

Speaker 2 They all look a little goofy to me, but the only problem I ever had with you and your whole thing was that

Speaker 2 I think I have a problem with anyone who says with authority, I know this for sure. I guess I have a problem with that amount of confidence.

Speaker 2 Where's the church of

Speaker 2 who knows?

Speaker 26 Where is the temple of the shrug emoji?

Speaker 2 That's bullshit. No, it's not.

Speaker 16 Frank, it.

Speaker 29 Frank, I get up in the morning and I feel things.

Speaker 29 There's a certainty to those feelings that I can only call belief.

Speaker 29 And my journey through life isn't about trying to figure out what to believe. It's about taking in the world that's presented to me and finding a way to fit all that into these

Speaker 29 feelings of certainty.

Speaker 2 Yeah, well, I have felt a lot of things in my life, and they turned out to be bullshit.

Speaker 5 Frank,

Speaker 29 you and I both know that there's no way I'm going to make you understand this.

Speaker 15 Probably true.

Speaker 8 I.

Speaker 29 I

Speaker 17 feel it.

Speaker 23 In my bones.

Speaker 29 As certain as I feel the ground.

Speaker 29 But the important step is.

Speaker 29 Does this certainty hurt me?

Speaker 29 Does it hurt someone else?

Speaker 29 That's when I know I'm onto something.

Speaker 29 My belief isn't shaken by all these things that are happening in town.

Speaker 29 Yes, it's a struggle to understand what they all mean,

Speaker 29 sure,

Speaker 29 but

Speaker 29 they do mean something

Speaker 29 to me at least.

Speaker 29 But

Speaker 29 still,

Speaker 14 fucking aliens.

Speaker 2 Good luck with that one.

Speaker 15 Hang on.

Speaker 2 Ooh, text from June.

Speaker 2 I figured out a plan for the two Deidras. Not that you care because you've decided to be a little asshole today.

Speaker 6 You see the thanks I get?

Speaker 23 Two Deidras?

Speaker 4 Oh.

Speaker 1 Right.

Speaker 2 So, quick update. Okay.

Speaker 19 I haven't heard anything for a couple of minutes.

Speaker 10 I think it's time.

Speaker 17 I don't understand how this is supposed to work.

Speaker 22 Don't worry about it, Steve. Your work here is done.

Speaker 23 Skinny jeans, you're up. Whose idea was this? Yours.

Speaker 29 What the fuck? June, just go with it.

Speaker 9 Hello, ladies.

Speaker 29 What are you doing here?

Speaker 6 I'm...

Speaker 9 I'm here to apologize.

Speaker 29 I don't think that's the most important thing right now.

Speaker 6 I know it doesn't seem that way,

Speaker 6 but June's not letting the two of you out of here until the problem is solved, so

Speaker 6 I'm afraid you have to hear this whether you like it or not.

Speaker 29 I'm going out the back door. They blocked the back door, too.
What the fuck?

Speaker 14 Well,

Speaker 6 I'd just

Speaker 6 give in to it if I was you.

Speaker 29 I don't feel great about you being here, Virg.

Speaker 6 I know.

Speaker 36 Um, Elden? Greetings, Deedris.

Speaker 36 You are currently the victims of a fairly nasty temporal anomaly.

Speaker 36 From what I can gather, time looped back on itself when Deidre entered the bar for the first time this morning, and when the second Deidre interacted with the people in the sheep's eye, there was a deviation.

Speaker 36 And now we have two Deidras.

Speaker 29 I'm not the real Deidre.

Speaker 1 Let me be clear.

Speaker 36 You both are.

Speaker 29 How is that possible?

Speaker 36 Would you like a lecture on relativistic versus quantum mechanics, or do we want to just take my word for it on this one?

Speaker 29 How do we stop it?

Speaker 36 It may seem a bit odd, but

Speaker 36 Verge is going to say a few things.

Speaker 29 What does that have to do with...

Speaker 7 I'm sorry.

Speaker 9 I'm sorry.

Speaker 6 Obviously, I didn't know

Speaker 6 that was going to happen the other night, but considering the list of people who'd like to see me dead, I

Speaker 6 should have taken better care with who I spent my time with.

Speaker 9 I, um,

Speaker 6 I couldn't get you out of my head, and it sort of

Speaker 9 took over.

Speaker 6 I convinced myself that I was in the clear, that

Speaker 6 things were different.

Speaker 6 And I convinced myself I was one of you. Just a happy person on a planet somewhere.

Speaker 24 Verge,

Speaker 29 I'm terrified of you.

Speaker 29 I was hiding under the bed like you told me to. I.

Speaker 29 I heard everything.

Speaker 29 I heard the person that you became when they showed you. You're a dangerous person.
That scares me. I'm scared to be in this room with you right now.
Can you understand that? Yes.

Speaker 9 I apologize for everything

Speaker 9 that happened.

Speaker 9 But

Speaker 6 I'm sorry, I can't apologize for the person you saw.

Speaker 6 That's the person I've had to be.

Speaker 6 I was this kid in a refugee camp once, and

Speaker 6 that's all I used to be.

Speaker 6 Over the years, it's

Speaker 9 like I put on a whole other person,

Speaker 6 bit by bit, like pieces of armor.

Speaker 6 I think it's what anyone would have done.

Speaker 29 Verge, there's this part of me that wants to hear this and wants to understand what happened.

Speaker 29 And there's this other part of me that's scared to hear more. I don't want to hear things that will make me even more afraid of you.

Speaker 6 I know.

Speaker 6 It's not time for me to tell you my life story.

Speaker 29 I appreciate your apology, Verge, but it was a lie in my bedroom.

Speaker 29 I can't have that.

Speaker 9 I know.

Speaker 5 Look,

Speaker 9 you won't have to worry about it for long.

Speaker 9 Okay.

Speaker 6 Frank thinks I should stay for some reason, but

Speaker 6 I'm not staying. I'll be far away soon.

Speaker 6 I just need a few more days to plan, and then I can get out of here.

Speaker 29 No, no, that's not what I want.

Speaker 6 I think it's the best thing for everybody.

Speaker 29 Virt, no, I have 9,000 feelings about this whole situation, but I don't like the idea of you out there all by yourself. That doesn't feel right to me.
That scares me even more.

Speaker 29 And what kind of person am I if I put you in danger just because you scare me? You're right that it was wrong of you to put me in danger. Is it right for me then to put you in danger?

Speaker 29 Because you would be in more danger, right? If you left? I don't want that. Elden, June was telling me that it's actually hard to get to Earth.

Speaker 36 It's a controlled zone. There's a process to go through, a bit like one of your national preserves.

Speaker 29 Okay, well, that sounds safer to me than whatever's out there.

Speaker 29 I can see that little kid you were talking about.

Speaker 29 I see them in you.

Speaker 29 I have the whole time.

Speaker 29 I think that's what I.

Speaker 29 You were in my head, too.

Speaker 29 You are.

Speaker 29 But there's a lot more that comes with that now, and

Speaker 29 I don't know how to feel about all of it.

Speaker 29 I'm scared of you, but I don't think you're a monster.

Speaker 29 You're a person,

Speaker 29 despite all that.

Speaker 29 What I need from you right now is for you to be safe.

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 29 Deidre.

Speaker 29 Look around.

Speaker 29 It's just me.

Speaker 24 Oh fuck. Oh my god.

Speaker 31 Thank God.

Speaker 29 Jesus Christ. It is just me.

Speaker 5 Oh fuck.

Speaker 26 I have to lay down.

Speaker 29 That was terrible. Deidre! Deidre, it's not that you're angry.
It's that you're scared for Verge.

Speaker 29 You're scared that they're in danger, and that's conflicting with your feeling of fear for yourself, and you don't know how to reconcile those things, so your soul has split in two, and we need to bring those halves back together.

Speaker 17 Wait, we're way ahead of you there, Sabrina.

Speaker 5 Oh.

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 14 shit, okay.

Speaker 23 Good job.

Speaker 22 You two were supposed to keep keep people out of here.

Speaker 14 I couldn't stop her.

Speaker 25 No, she has surprising upper body strength now.

Speaker 7 Deidre!

Speaker 2 I only count one of you.

Speaker 29 Yeah,

Speaker 29 that was a weird one.

Speaker 25 Sorry, we had to kidnap you, Deidre.

Speaker 14 That's okay.

Speaker 17 Speaking of, we don't think this is contagious, right?

Speaker 11 Oh.

Speaker 5 Oh, God.

Speaker 2 So?

Speaker 6 It's your town.

Speaker 6 You want me to stay?

Speaker 9 I'll stay. Good.

Speaker 2 I'll see you at 7 a.m. tomorrow.
tomorrow.

Speaker 15 Why?

Speaker 2 I am going to show you how to hang drywall. And we've got a lot of work to do over there, and I could really use an

Speaker 2 extra hand or two.

Speaker 9 Oh, fuck you.

Speaker 26 Oh, fuck you. I'm going to have to endure

Speaker 18 all sorts of jokes about that.

Speaker 26 Oh, my God. We've only just begun.

Speaker 2 Full sale amber, please, barkeep.

Speaker 34 Sir, yes, sir.

Speaker 21 I would like to propose a toast.

Speaker 23 Frank did absolutely nothing today and is feeling inappropriately fine about that.

Speaker 10 Fuck you, Frank.

Speaker 5 Cheers.

Speaker 5 Hey,

Speaker 14 hey,

Speaker 6 how long have you been standing there?

Speaker 5 Well,

Speaker 9 what's up?

Speaker 29 I spent a lot of time looking at myself today.

Speaker 9 You did.

Speaker 5 I didn't like it.

Speaker 6 I did.

Speaker 6 Do

Speaker 6 do you do you want to come inside and talk about it?

Speaker 11 No.

Speaker 9 Okay.

Speaker 29 Can I stand here and you stand there and

Speaker 29 we talk about it like that?

Speaker 6 We can do anything you want.

Speaker 5 Okay.

Speaker 1 Welcome to the Horizon is brought to you in part by our Monte Cristo level and above supporters: Wilson, Billy, Burtbert, Bethany, Second Bethany, Society of Bethanies, Banjo Bethany.

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Speaker 1 Ipted, For My Mother, Homer, Are We Doing Crimes?

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Speaker 1 Greenlee, Courtney Morris, Ryan Abbey. I hope something good happens to you today.

Speaker 1 Yes, you, Wasabi Lube Moonshine, Wasabi Lube's Mum, Turtle Boy, Arwen the Freer, Fridgepickle, Jacqueline Snyder, Basil in their T, Keegan Diamond, Ron Hayden, Whisper Dan, Mad Maddox, Ames Affection for Internet Protection, Retro MG, Snarky Bark00, The Cowboy, The Gainesville Fear Garden, Abby Kramer, Utred and Rose's Viking Void Vittles, Thylacine, Not Sure What I'm Doing, Scullacy, Warped Rider, Tim Nacy, Ruben Klamso, Joe Mama, Morgan Brockman, Sylvie M., Charlotte Tobaya, Glennis Thompson, Dustin Watson, Betty White 813, Good Grief People, I Need to Breathe, Dreamy Pothos, Starscribe, Lucian Thunderstruck, O Mabama, Drought Breaker, Glorb Nar7, Dooser Likes, No Thinky, Just Dewey, The Other Adele, Chef Gal Val, Leah Hall, Sarah May, Mr.

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Speaker 1 I swear to every star in the cosmos, I never forgot it was a gift.

Speaker 1 The Stone Fox, Sierra Smith, Solivia, Kyle from Detroit, Juiciton, Marauder Mitch and Pandergast, Pepitos, Boomhauer, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, prove to me that orange cats aren't gods.

Speaker 1 Ashley and Spencer Kurtz, Ashley Soros, Momo's Mama, Tony Tony Tony, Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Fickle Phil, Myrtle, Caitlin, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Mr.

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Speaker 1 Wandering Wenjo, Painted Oni, Q Dell, Pharrell, Betty Hayes in the B-Team, Emily with Two E's, Drowsy Rousey, Spaceman Nathan, Ramsey's Niblick III, Kerplunk, Kerplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thribble, Mad Goat, Jackie Wavelet, Issa the Straga, D.

Speaker 1 Greitzler, Jeepstyle, A Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scoracchio, Genuine Jacob, Andy's Brain is Weird, Space Rooster Randy Doing Crimes, Leopard Donut, Keychain Crap, Matt Matt Sharkman, Steelo, Christopher Georgia, Shakes Stick at God, Arcadia, Bumbling Lily Bee, Scipio Dudah, Buffy's Daughter, Emeric, Bufard D's Nuts, Panda, Curtis Lelig, Tristan Stoles, Shadow Rapture, Leaf's Bastard Son Brizzo, Hank the Wonder Llama, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, Alexander Nunes, Jeremy Ibsen, What the Hell, Cineplex, and all the black people in North Carolina.

Speaker 1 Just Rachel, Short Dick Nick, Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Tora Smash, The Podcast for Nerdy Jews, Merp Derp and Cheesley, Axel, Patty the Ginger, Ava's Cigarette Ash, Tim Lynch, Anne Morris Garay, A, Zeus, Anaphylaxis, Mythical Mantis, Jack's Nightmare, Kennan's Girlfriend Brooke, The Subaquatic Goblin, Unburyable Conundrum, Kelly Tobin, Jenny on the Blockchain, Angry Leaf's Laser Saw, Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Christopher Kai, Mr.

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Speaker 1 Dr.

Speaker 1 B, Zoprez and the Bumble Army, Growing Into My Farm Boots, The Geneva Accords, Rest in Peace, Mikey, Uncivil Gnomes, The Rat Queen Evelyn, Midday Salsa, Letty Lou, Tibby, Nick Howard, Kinger was here, Babbire Wenland Jr., Irish Wristwatch, Bebaba Doowop, Warped Echoes, Lord Robert O'Tartis, he's bigger on the inside, Jeremiah Franco.

Speaker 1 You've never seen Isaiah Coleman and Sergeant Polaris in the same room at the same time, hopefully.

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Speaker 1 Cody Monster, Magical Computer Mage Mason, the Gabber newspaper sounds like a ridiculous name, but they help protect democracy in Florida.

Speaker 1 Charismo, Miss Nixie, Baby Bate and Lee, Amber King, Sid the Sloth on a Bike, Priyagandhi, Wandering Mermaid, understands the assignment.

Speaker 1 Little Stevie Pie, Return to Sender, Green Mountain Hermit with Azure Blue Eggs. This is too polar cat.
The recent attempt on my life has left me with no choice.

Speaker 1 The space cats are at war with the space mice. Carl, Teller of Dad Jokes, At Least Six Gems.
Skylabs Multi-Dimensional, Multiphasic Intergalactic Quantum Cyberverse. Nikki H., Anycrafts, Anywhere.

Speaker 1 Galen Miller. Tess.

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Speaker 1 Glass, Sweets, Shar Noble, Mere Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Whitney, Destroyer of Worlds, Chut Brimble, Deidre, Mike Whiskey, and Your Friend Frosty.

Speaker 1 Trick-or-treat, come get your vacuum stable ionic liquid 1-Ethyl 3, methylimidizolium, tetrafluorobate, at Binbar's Mad Science.

Speaker 1 Beastly Death, Sven the Unlikely, Cognito Hazard Exponge, Ted Wassanasen, Virestria, Spoomples, Fernwood Gal. Stop what, Twinkle Tots? Shocking Developments Nearby.

Speaker 1 Phantom's Moms, Callison, Horn Swagglin, Daniel Arthur, Mike Laclusi, Dex. It's a It's a Fucking Dog Rapture.
King Humble. We'd Better Ask Dave.
Wind Chimes for Safety.

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Speaker 1 Matt N, Julia Kringlin, Frelp, M.

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Speaker 27 hold it now. Hit it! Drop it now!

Speaker 1 Dodge it!

Speaker 1 Bradley Ashby, Aang Rhee, Peter, Megan Okeo, William Dyer, Vicki Abear, Brad Manier, Jane, Hannah Dale, Phantom Zone, Stabby Cacti, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Kill Shot Betty and her Steel-Eyed Bow, Jackie Lowy, The Little Pigeon, Crowed Nation, Crazed Bear, Ivinala, Dr.

Speaker 1 Lattice Trash, Angel says, Trick or treat, or trash. Yes, my brain is weird.
Thank you.

Speaker 1 Petting Dogs, Baby Bears, Love the Diner, Corey Morose, Russell Money, Jane G, Max Savage, Apprehensive Craig, Tem Aranetta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Squatcher, Jimmy Snims, Lord Than and Lady Sarah, Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Hurry Up and Wait, Sarah Farmer and Her Prismatic Chickens, Criddle, Heidelberdy, Tom Webster, Rashmi Vinkatesh, McClump, Rad Dolls, Salazar the Dome Age, The Bard with the Tuba, Hayward's Finest Garen Elizondo, Terrified Toddler, Alkalized Tertiary Amines, Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Lily Davis, Sarah Maguire, Tonka 2005, Cruz and B.

Speaker 1 Anthony, J.

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Speaker 1 Why'd you do this to us, Joe Fisher?

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Speaker 1 Johnson, Killer Odd, Dandy Bay, Dr. Punt Gusher Esquire gives you these king-size Kit Kat bars still wrapped in foil, don't ask where he got them.

Speaker 1 Creator 67, Bajolanth, Lafe's One True Love, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrug, Incorrigible Ross, Deborah Wales, SCRB Mark11, Courtney Depona, Reedle the Beetle, John Dew, Maggie's Yarm, Stew, Nth Anomaly, Megan Mighty, Purple Saline, Miss Chris Still Making Sandwiches, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Anomalous Vandal, Captain Blepp, Eevee Power, Your Favorite Kenny, Terry, PJ Says What?

Speaker 1 Danielle L, Sparker, Shiny Melon Fear Now, Blargo, Blargo, Blargo, Tonight at 11,

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Speaker 1 Grim.

Speaker 1 Zacky Nat, Underwater Corvid, Spizzeringtom, Michael Christian, Ransom, Marun Maisalil, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyralis, Om Vega, Dances with Burritos likes Chili Cheese Fritos, Aaron Mitchell, Fiona Malisey, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R.

Speaker 1 the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeard Face, Tracy, Maloran, Brian Barletta, Kara, Colmy Zen, Calibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, The Dread Pirate Fred Fredberger, What the Chuck, Purple Death, Sono Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Nea DeRusso, Peachy Zatowichi, Justine Burbank, Inky the Kraken, Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar, Ruth McCormick, Dalek Steve, Dancing Dog Dreams, and existentially, Exhausted Bean.

Speaker 29 The Fable and Folly Network, where fiction producers flourish.

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