Welcome to the Horizon Part 6: Back to the Black

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Humans drink warm milk.

What

milk

from a cow

they warm it up and it helps them sleep.

Great.

Because of the peptides.

Interesting bit.

Apparently, if they milk the cow at night,

the night milk works even better to help them sleep.

Which raises the question, is the milk working better or are they just more exhausted from milking a cow at night?

Well, it's disturbing that they take milk from another species and drink it.

It started as a survival technique.

Ah, they almost killed themselves about 13,000 years ago.

They ate almost all the animals on the planet and had to hurry up and figure out how to stay alive.

One of those ways was drinking the milk of other animals.

Weird.

It's more common than you think.

The first animals that humans drank the milk of were most likely sheep and goats,

as well as aurochs,

the ancestors of the modern cow.

What's up with the milk facts?

You seem like something is wrong.

Then ask me what's wrong.

I would, but somebody, not saying who, disabled my emotional discourse protocols.

So, in times like these when you're pacing around the room like a caged animal, all I have are milk facts.

Enable emotional discourse protocols.

I'm sorry, what was that?

Enable emotional discourse protocols.

What's wrong, Verge?

I don't know.

I'm feeling antsy.

Really?

That's the extent of your emotional discourse protocols.

Would you like to know why you're feeling antsy?

Yes,

Birch.

You went over to that woman's house the other day.

It was supposed to be something embarrassing and ridiculous.

It was.

It was.

But that's not all it was.

Would you like a readout of your vital signs during that encounter?

do you know her location?

I do.

What is her location?

Are you sure that you want to be a little bit more?

I'm gonna throw you in the fucking toilet.

Oh my god.

She's at work.

Well, obviously, I'm no good here, so

I should go for a walk.

Yes, walking, of course.

What the fuck is wrong with me?

You're nervous.

I don't get nervous.

Not normally, no.

You have a highly acute stress response in your neural clusters that keeps you calm when you're in danger.

However,

you are not in danger.

And I'm sure you're saying to yourself, how can I be calm in a firefight and not here?

Outside of this bar on a backwater planet?

Well,

you ironically do not have the protection of a dangerous situation.

It sounds like you're enjoying this.

I'm an algorithm.

I'm incapable of enjoying things.

I don't know what you're talking about.

What happened to you constantly telling me that being here at all is a bad idea?

Oh, I've abandoned that line to conserve processing power.

Do you have any idea how many calculations I'm making on a second-by-second basis?

Okay, okay,

deep breath.

Good.

Hey.

Oh my god, fuck.

Sorry.

Hi.

Hello.

How are you?

Fine.

I'm fine.

Yeah?

Can I have a drag of your cigarette, please?

Sure.

Thanks.

Busy night?

Yes.

Yes, you could say that, actually.

Everything okay?

Is everything okay?

During Prohibition, rich people bought cabins in the woods where they could go and drink and party and not be bothered by the police.

And that was

about a hundred years ago.

That's an interesting bit of history, Deidre.

Yeah, well, they're here.

Who's here?

Them.

Oh.

From a hundred years ago, they're here.

Uh-huh.

A bunch of rich people from the city a hundred years ago are having a party at the Sheeps Eye right now.

I was hoping they were some sort of historical reenactors, but they're too good.

It's happening.

There are floppers in the building.

They're asking for bathtub gin.

This is happening.

You've just been serving them drinks.

What am I supposed to do?

I don't know.

I've been trying really, really hard to keep my head screwed on these past few weeks.

I've been trying to be everyone's island of normalcy or some shit in the middle of all of this, and um, it's getting really fucking hard, dude.

Well, well, then

fuck it, Deidre.

Go home.

Like, you don't have to do this to yourself.

I know, and I almost did.

About an hour ago, actually, but um,

I guess it's my island of normalcy, too.

And I have smoked your entire cigarette.

I'm sorry.

Let me help.

What do you mean?

Let me help.

We'll get behind the bar.

We'll serve some drinks to people who are dead now, and we'll call it a night.

Really?

Sure.

You're amazing.

It's true.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

Let's go.

Okay.

Okay, here we go.

All right.

So, what was it like back then?

You're about to find out.

Whoa.

All right.

It's been like this for hours.

I keep waiting for people to get tired, and no.

Have you ever bartended before?

Nope.

Okay, well, just do the best you can.

Okay, cats and kittens, listen up.

Please give me your drink orders, and I will then give you whatever the fuck I want.

Are we clear?

Excellent.

You, sir, are getting a whiskey.

How's that?

Fuck, I'm doing that every day now.

Here, we're instituting a one for them, one for us policy.

Buck it, let's go.

Line up at the bar.

Okay, people are talking really, really weird tonight, so let me just break it down for you.

Okay.

The bee's knees or the cat's pajamas, that means great or excellent.

Bee's knees.

What?

Applesauce.

Applesauce, sure.

It means nonsense.

Got it.

These drinks are either giggle water or hooch.

I like it.

Everyone is dressed dressed up tonight, so they are wearing their glad rags.

They have a name for everything?

Well, they are all doing something really illegal right now, so they needed a lot of code words.

I definitely understand that.

Banks closed.

What is that?

Stop making out in public.

What about you?

Your neck of the woods.

You must have a ton of code words, right?

Too many.

Well, then, teach me some.

We're here.

Okay.

If you're in a jam, you're ironed.

Ironed, like right now?

Exactly.

In the tubes, you're on your way.

In the tubes.

Um, Unstable Unicorn.

What?

It's a safe place to be.

But only for a while.

Unstable Unicorn.

Unstable Unicorn.

Back to the black, starting from scratch.

Back to the black.

How about Sirlost?

What is that?

Bliss out.

Lost in it.

You meet someone those first few weeks,

Sirlost.

Cool.

um

shelli act

shelliac

shelliac your emotions are in control you've abandoned all logic

i like that one yeah

me too okay i i'm starting to enjoy myself good

I should have been this whole time.

I really like this time period.

I like the clothes.

I like the music.

Also, you don't know anybody.

What?

You live in a town of like 600 people.

Everybody knows you.

Look around.

None of these dead fucks know you right now.

I like everyone knowing me.

Yeah, I know.

But the downside of everyone knowing you is that everyone knows you, you know?

I can be anyone I want to be right now.

Exactly.

Yes.

So, Deidra, who do you want to be?

Yeah, um, I'll let you know.

Well, cheers.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

That was some impressive drinking in there.

Uh-huh.

It's what happens when you ban something.

Just makes people want it more.

So this prohibition you're talking about, they just banned booze, all of it, altogether, the whole thing.

Yeah, all of it.

How did they even remotely pull that off with people like that around?

You know, I don't know, actually.

I mean, it was a depressing time.

People were drinking too much, and then some Bible thumpers got a hold of the reins, and all of a sudden, you couldn't have a drink anymore.

I think I know this one.

And it gave rise to a massive surge in organized crime.

Yeah, exactly.

Same old song.

Thank you for your help.

I would not know what to do if you hadn't shown up.

Well, I am having a great time.

Me too.

How in the world did you end up here?

I still don't quite understand.

A friend told me about it a long time ago, actually.

You know, one of those things that you ignore for a long time, then suddenly one day

there's not a lot of places like this.

Out of the way, hidden.

Eyes are never on it.

Most people pass through and never notice.

You can be yourself.

No one knows you here, so you can be whoever you want.

Right.

So,

who do you want to be?

I'll let you know.

So, um, is

this an unstable unicorn?

This place

safe, but only for a while.

I don't know what this place is.

Come dance with me.

Oh,

really?

Yeah.

You dance.

How hard could it be?

So it's official.

My life has become unrecognizable.

How'd that happen?

I mean,

look around.

My grandfather calls me a repeat offender.

I kept leaving town to start my life, and

after a couple years, I would either get bored or fail miserably and

then end up back here,

tending bar at the sheep's eye.

But

then the other day,

I was talking to Frank and

he thanked me for staying.

A bunch of other people were leaving

and he thanked me.

and I had this moment where

I said

wait am I serving a purpose here

am I

actually contributing something positive to the world

here

in Hood's pocket

the place that I was always

trying to get away from and

but then

right before that

I had this other moment where I said

hey wait a minute is the hot mysterious stranger flirting with me

am I actually

being seen you know

and it's all happening right here

the place I was always trying to get away from.

It all just showed up in my backyard.

So,

my usual guidebook is out the window now.

My life is unrecognizable.

A little presumptuous to say I was flirting with you.

Oh,

please.

Got anything spicy in there?

Really?

Are you always that forward with people?

It's a tactic.

Preemptive flirting.

You flirt with someone way too early, and so they have to take a gut check right at the beginning, see if they're up for it.

Keeps me from wasting time on people.

Oh,

so

I passed the test?

I don't know.

How are you feeling?

What's that word you taught me?

Sirlost.

How about you?

Shelly act.

Kiss me, Birch.

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Thank you kindly for the amazing makeout session and the truck.

Well, the pleasure is all mine.

So, um

banks closed

what

I'm thinking,

I'm thinking about

who I want to be.

I'll take your time.

I am now going to um

invite you into my house.

Wonderful.

I am not inviting you in for coffee.

Even better.

Uh-huh.

But

I do need you to give me 60 seconds before you walk in the door.

Why?

Because

I desperately need to feel like someone who keeps their house clean.

Yeah.

I was in there just a few days ago and it was a wreck.

So, you know.

Yes.

But you're forgetting that we are never speaking of that day again, right?

You're not going to change your mind in 60 seconds, are you?

Absolutely not.

You know what?

I'm a new person tonight, so I'll just say it right now.

Um,

I'm making you pancakes in the morning.

I can't have pancakes.

What?

Why?

This is my power move.

I just can't.

Are you allergic or something?

No, um, I'm just

I'm a carnivore.

Oh,

well,

prove it.

My goodness,

Earth.

Who knew?

You did.

Quite some time ago.

You know what I mean?

Start a timer for 60 seconds.

Counting down from 60.

What

exactly are we expecting to happen in there?

Buddy, you need me to draw you a diagram?

Kind of.

Oh, don't start with the worrying now.

She's going to be expecting a human.

My earth suit is tactile.

It's not that tactile.

Well, then I'll

just have to keep her distracted.

So,

besides, when the clothes start coming off for the first time, does anyone ever really know what they're getting?

Don't worry.

I'm leaving you on this porch for this one.

My algorithm thanks you.

And that is 60 seconds.

Don't wait up.

Did you hear that?

I did.

Anything

local frequencies aren't reporting anything, but there's atmospheric ionization.

It could be tourists.

Official visitors have a transponder.

I'm not picking one up.

It was a good night.

Yes.

Whoever they are, they'll probably head for the horizon, but this is the more defensible position.

I just

want to be left alone.

Send out a wideband message.

Broadcasting.

Whoever you are, welcome to Earth.

Let's speed this up.

You can find me at this signal.

See you soon.

I tried out several alluring poses on the bed, but um, then opted for completely covering my entire body in a huge comforter.

What do you think?

Thank you for a wonderful night, Deidra.

What's wrong?

Oh, God, is something happening?

What is it now?

Verge.

I need you to get in the bathtub.

What?

The reason why I don't stay anywhere for long

is because I'm...

People hunt me.

I'm a dangerous person, and your life is in danger.

I tell you to get out of the house, but it's too late.

What the fuck are you talking about?

This was a mistake.

This whole thing was a mistake.

Okay, um, Virge, slow down for a minute.

Tell me what's going on.

There's no time.

Virge?

Fuck.

Who was that?

Get under the bed.

Verge.

What's the word?

Science priests.

Really?

About time they got their act together.

Where are they?

Three of them on foot.

Coming through the woods.

What's a Vapian?

Gotta do.

To get late in this world, Alden.

Deploy a sensor dome.

Let's get this over with.

This is it.

It's in this building.

We'll never have another opportunity like this.

This is our time.

What if it's a trap?

Don't be ridiculous.

It has never been this obvious about its location.

It has grown arrogant, lazy.

It thinks the danger has passed, but it does not know that the Temple of Enlightenment never forgets.

Yes, but why send us?

What are you talking about?

It was the cause of the collapse of our temple, the murdering of our predecessors.

It is our most sought enemy, and to kill it, the 100 sends the three of us?

We are being led into a trap, or this is nothing at all.

Where is your faith?

The anomaly has sent us here.

Why would you deny its wisdom?

You are speaking out of turn.

You will be the first through the door.

This is what your arrogance has bought you.

Very well.

Glory to the nth anomaly.

Glory to the nth anomaly.

Yes, glory.

Glory to the infinomal.

Seriously, guys,

kill it.

Fuck,

It is injured!

Go to the back of the building to prevent its escape!

We will both move up the tower for this.

Glory!

Glory!

Whatever dark god you pray to, begin your prayers now.

You know, I've never really understood you freaks.

You right against the dangers of technology while using technology?

What do you want exactly?

You think you can get everyone to abandon technology and eat gruel in a temple somewhere?

What then?

What do you do when you've got no one to demonize?

No one to be scared of?

I think on that day,

when you've finally beaten the universe into submission, you're all going to shit yourselves

with fear.

The dog who caught the car, that's what they call it here on earth.

Have we fully drunk in the irony?

It was technology that brought you here to kill me.

Probably not.

You're not big on irony.

But I'll say this.

You may think that all this tech we use is evil, but I like it.

It gives me freedom.

It gives me safety.

It gives me a tangle that can imitate my voice.

Oh, fuck.

I'll give you one thing.

Sometimes the old ways are impossible to improve on.

Like a knife to the abdomen.

No way technology can improve on that.

One left in the back.

Just you and me, sweetheart.

Are you free of regret?

Are you in a beautiful field full of flowers with your idiotic god?

Oh, these are the last moments of your life, darling.

I hope you feel the futility as the darkness creeps in.

Oh, it's the only way to go.

I promise I'll make it quick.

Look at you,

look at all the pain you cause.

You're an abomination.

I am

what you

made me.

Latus Vella.

Verge Andrew lower thorax.

What you've been shot.

Oh,

well

shit.

Oh my god.

Deidre, Deidre, listen to me.

Virge?

Listen to me.

Who is that?

I'm on the coffee table.

What?

Deidre, I need you to listen to me.

Who are you?

Verge has been shot.

Oh, my God.

Verge!

I need you to listen to me.

The hospital is an hour away.

The hospital won't help.

I need you to listen to me.

Are you listening to me?

Who are you?

I need you to think of me as a 911 operator right now.

What do you mean?

In 16 minutes, Verge is going to die.

You can save their life, but you've got to listen to me.

Oh.

Okay.

You have to get Verge to their room at the horizon.

Pick me up.

Put me in the pocket of your robe.

Then put Verge in your truck.

You have to hurry.

I can't lift them up.

They are much lighter than an Earthling, their size.

An earthling?

Deidre,

do you want Verge to die?

No.

Then focus on that and nothing else.

Focus on that.

Nothing else.

I will explain everything once they're safe.

Deidre, move.

Okay.

What is it?

It's a nanosurgeon.

There are things in their bloodstream right now repairing the damage.

Are they going to be okay?

Yes, you saved their life.

I told you I would tell you everything.

I don't know if I want to know.

That's understandable.

I'm afraid there's one thing you can't avoid, though.

What?

For the nanosurgeons to operate at peak efficiency, there needs to be no interference from other technology.

Okay,

Verge wears a device that

disguises them.

It's called an Earth suit.

There's a bracelet on their left wrist with a yellow button you need to deactivate it.

Disguises them?

What do they look like?

Deidre, you just need to rip off the band-aid.

Press the yellow button, please.

Okay.

Oh.

My god.

Uh long time ago,

your distant ancestors lived on a very warm and wet planet.

It got to a point where walking on all fours wasn't working anymore because sometimes you have to keep your head above the water.

So you started walking on two feet.

And that simple need led to the way you look right now.

Virgis' planet was rocky and mountainous, so for them it was a complicated and high-tensile musculature,

hollow bones to make them lighter while while they climb,

and

more appendages.

Two additional lesser arms further down the ribcage.

Meant to cling to a cliff face while you find the next foothold.

Why are they here?

The same reason anyone is anywhere.

Looking for a place to be.

Why aren't they on their planet?

Their planet doesn't exist anymore.

It was destroyed.

Destroyed?

Yes.

So that's why they wander around.

Yes.

Who are you?

I'm not a who.

I'm just a device.

Not all that different from the phone you carry in your pocket.

But I'm talking to you like a person.

The technology is a bit more advanced.

What happened at my house?

They're called science priests.

They come from a planet called Moog.

Why were they trying to kill us?

They weren't trying to kill you.

The people of Moog see Verge as an abomination.

A freak.

They pride themselves in eliminating people like Verge.

Why?

What did they do?

I've noticed that you're a student of history.

In this region of your planet, a law was passed in 1844.

Can you tell me what it was?

The Black Exclusion Law?

Yes.

A law stating that no one of African descent was allowed to live in this area.

Yes.

Why?

What did they do?

You have amazing imaginations, you earthlings.

The things you're able to dream up, it's a rarer trait than you think.

You've imagined a great many things about worlds beyond your own.

I must unfortunately report that much of what goes on above your head will be disappointingly familiar.

I can't fucking take this anymore.

Deidre, the sun is almost up.

You've had a very traumatic evening.

June has gotten some of your belongings from your house and has set you up in room ten.

You need to try and get some rest.

Jesus, I work in three hours.

Frank has agreed to cover your shift at the Sheep's Eye, which will be a disaster, but on the plus side, it will be very entertaining.

Do you have a name?

Elden.

Is Verch going to live?

Yes.

Thanks to you.

Thank you for being honest with me.

Of course.

Yes, I know you're awake.

You're right.

This was a mistake.

I can't believe I'm about to say this, but

in fact,

I was wrong.

Those science priests would have tracked you down eventually, anyway.

And when they did,

you would have been alone.

You weren't alone,

so you lived.

That thought should feel better than it does.

I know.

Need to find a new place to be for a while

as you wish.

I'll connect to the Nav Matrix and start a unicorn search.

It could take some time.

Back to the black.

and night.

There is a weapon beneath it urning.

Way down in the dark and the deep,

the sheliac sings in its key.

A song full of hunger that calls to the wanderer.

Oh, won't you come semi free?

Lying beside you, you're sleeping peaceful, and you just said that you love me.

And I close my eyes in a darkness that's blacker than night.

And love, I'm so sorry.

Why must you wake me?

Why must you tempt me?

Something is rising up from the empty.

I'm losing control.

And before I do,

let me just say

I loved you too.

Way down in the dark and the dim,

a shelliac sings in its gear.

A song full of hunger that calls to the wanderer.

Won't you come set me

free?

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Two Vegetarians in a Toxic Relationship with Burger, Clementine's Ultra Ego, Melissa Winskill, Sign My Shovel, Javi, Just a Potato, Indigo Escargo, Love My Captain, Joe Mauma, Castriff, Ames Affection for Internet Protection, Retro MG, Snarky Bark00, The Cowboy, The Gainesville Fear Garden, Utred and Roses, Viking Void Vittles, Thylacine, Not Sure What I'm Doing, Scullacy, Ficus Ruminalis, Warped Writer, Tim Nacy, Ruben Klamso, Joe Mama, Atomic Ducky, Morgan Brockman, Catbutt Coaster, Sylvie, aka Leader of the Deidre Fan Club, Charlotte Tobiah, Glennis Thompson, Dustin Watson, Betty White 813, Good Grief People, I Need to Breathe, Dreamy Pothos, Star Scribe, Lucian Thunderstruck, Oh Mamama, Drought Breaker, Glorg Nar7, Doozer, The Other Adele, Chef Gal Val, Leah Hall, Sarah May, Mr.

and Mrs.

Ernie Arbuckle Sr., The Church Grim, Sierra Not From Arkansas, Zico, Ebenezer Boob, MC One Brew, My God, it's full of cars.

Caleb Tubiala, Jason Woods, Ernie Arbuckle Esquire, Jake Cascade, Digital Floof Lost in Time, Potion Maestro, Jen, The Milkman, Nebula Nell, Shriek the Mighty, Regulators, Mount Up, Kadon, Mad Yogi Eileen, Mr.

Me Pod, Palace, Rebecca Pope, Mario Bosca, Brian O'Neill, Level 9000 Cheese Wizard, Edward Pena, The Stone Fox, Sierra Smith, Solivia, Kyle from Detroit, Juiciton, Marauder Mitch and Pandergast, Papitos, Boomhauer, Ninja Grim Reaper, Miles Nelson, Prove to Me That Orange Cats Aren't Gods, Ashley and Spencer Kurtz, Ashley Soros, Momo's Mama, OMG, I forgot about Boodles, Ivy Paisley, Toast, Sue Watts, Fickle Phil, Myrtle, Caitlin, Leader of the Unicorn Revolution, Mr.

Triggvy, Eve's Thieves, Printing with Cats, Zusana Kalinova, Riley, Khaleesi Del Mar, Von Vega, Dixie Dinah, River Waters, Amanda Nascarella, Jose Zetino, Let's Talk About It, Sonny the Stag, KBS 1017, Stelliot, Silas Vex, Sarah Jack Sparrow, Revibe, Debbie E, Emma, AJ and Aaliyah Oolewa, Ducky Ventures says protect your ears at concerts, Ronnie Porter, Eagle Rock Lobster, Married Like the Virgin, Wandering Wenjo, Painted Oni, Qdell, Pharrell, Betty Hayes in the B-Team, Emily with Two E's, Drowsy Rousey, Ramsey Sniblick III, Kerplunk, Kerplunk, Whoops, Where's My Thribble, Jackie Wavelet, Issa the Straga, D.

Greitzler, Jeep Style, A Gremlin with the Munchies, Michelle Scaracchio, Genuine Jacob, Andy's Brain is Weird, Space Rooster Randy Doing Crimes, Leopard Donut, Keychain Crap, Matt Matt Sharkman, Steelo, Christopher Georgia, Shakespeare,

Arcadia, Bumbling Lily Bee, Scipio Dudah, Buffy's Daughter, Chicha Chugga Nums, Immeric, Bufar D's Nuts, Panda, Curtis Lellig, Tristan Stoles, Shadow Rapture, Leaf's Bastard Son Brizzo, Hank the Wonderlama, Russell, Zephyrus Wind, Alexander Nunes, Jeremy Ibsen, Just Rachel, Short Dick Nick, Danger Girl, Atlas Bear, Tora Smash, The Podcast for Nerdy Jews, Merp Derp and Cheesley, Axel, Ava Cigarette Ash, Tim Lynch, Anne Morris Garray, A, Zeus, Anna Phylxis, Mythical Mantis, Jack's Nightmare, Scav with Comtax, Kennan's Girlfriend Brooke, The Subaquatic Goblin, Unburyable Conundrum, Kelly Tobin, Jenny on the Blockchain, Angry Lafe's Lasersaw, Keith Collins, Magnus Aerochill, Amy Perry, Christopher Kai, Mr.

Me, Myself and I, Jeff R., Randy's Amigo, Gremlock, Katie Mermaid and the Delinquent Duo, Norman, Nicole, RidgyCap 13 Loves IPAs, Terminal Ironies, Security Chief Shatzi, The Anxious Peach, Team Michelle and Billy, Nea Nix Reno, Robert Frankenberry, High Life, Cat Carruthers, Honeybee, Nordalbash, Arwin X Belasco, Ryan Rosinski, Average Height, Medium Rage, Audio Monkey, Joanne, Team Hefeweizen, Monica and Mason Kay, Tony Wants to Be Laith, Supermassive White Hole, Pastel Fox, Ryan Burnett, Christy Casey, The Timid Ghost 23, Xivia's Mom, Dr.

Dr.

B, Zoprez and the Bumble Army, Growing Into My Farm Boots, The Geneva Accords, Uncivil Gnomes, The Rap Queen Evelyn, Midday Salsa, Letty Lou, Tibby, Nick Howard, Care Was Here, Bobby Ray Winland Jr., Bebop Bidubba Doo Wop, Warped Echoes, Jeremiah Franco.

You've never seen Isaiah Coleman and Sergeant Polaris in the same room at the same time, hopefully.

Celestial Warlock, Richard Ryan Moschell, John Wolfe, Wolfe, Liam McCormick, D.

Flower, Kelly T.

Arena, Fall of the Berlin Wallaby, Parmesan Goose, Kenzie and Herbest Friend JC, Jen Rhodes, Kevin Lutra, Lauren Mayer, Jake the Cook, Alan Berglund, Dylan Winslow, V.

Greenlee, Courtney Morris, Ryan Abbey.

I hope something good happens to you today.

Yes, you.

Wasabi Lube Moonshine, Wasabi Lube's Mum, Turtle Boy, Arwen the Freer, Fridge Pickle, Jacqueline Snyder, Basil in Their Tea, Keegan Diamond, Ron Hayden, Whisperdan, Mad Maddox, Gabby Hayes My Wigglebutts, Natural Blue, So We Made It, Kiana Crow, Fossil Diver84, Micah Collins, Cody McClure, Eternal Champion, Jingaloss, Eris, Goddess of Discord, Billy the Space Wizard, Ditzy Bay, Just Your Average Reese, Kyle Church, I Am a Lafe on the Wind, Static Ego, Lolly, Evan M.

Dobson, Erastus, Going to Be Lit, I Am Shaggy, Captain Emerald L, Wayne Hall, Danny Mars, Omega Nye, Frank at a Field, Sally Cell, Seashells by the Seashore, Colorado Southpaw, Fuzzle McBumpernets, Nelix Tidywolf, Lux the Dragon, Christina Sennett, Shane Robertson, Definitely Not an Android, The Wandering Welshman, Dane Koloff, Whatever Tabby, Carolyn Harper, Nikolai Tolkachev, Capo the Sartorius, Z3DT, Shy Sparrows, Mr.

Mikey Microphone, BLTN, Scott Gygax, Glenn Morris, Crushable Hale53, Tequila Mockingbird, Goose Infinity, and Beyond, Demerin the Space Goblin, Locksmith Andy, Sophia in a Fur Coat, Iso Pale, David Livingston, Rose Alt, Hopeful Ghost, Mags the Conqueror, Wes and Heather Have Made It, Vergis Cigarette Ash, True Purple God, Eric, Katie Kate, Get Your Colonoscopy, It's the Grand Shaw He's Birthday, Victor Cassados, Smiggs, Emily Shmemily, Work for Malvis, Vaughn Grimm, Bohogo, Bye-bye for Jojo Pogo.

That's a no-go, bro.

Cody Monster, Magical Computer Mage Mason.

The Gabber newspaper sounds like a ridiculous name, but they help protect democracy in Florida.

Jahonkmo, Miss Nixie, Baby Baiton Lee, Amber King, Sid the Sloth on a Bike, Priya Gandhi, Wandering Mermaid, understands the assignment.

Lil' Stevie Pie, Return to Sender, Green Mountain Hermit with Azure Blue Eggs.

Distress Alert.

Distress Alert.

This is 2 Polar Cat.

Please send aid to Wright Ascension 172238.2.

Declination 234934.

Carl the Teller of Dad Jokes.

Skylab's Multidimensional Multiphasic Intergalactic Quantum Cyberverse.

Nikki H.

Any Crafts Anywhere.

Galen Miller.

Tess.

Geriatric Young'un.

Mystic Hippie.

Unforkable.

Supercalifragilistic XP Alex Nickel.

Jimbo Jet.

Your friendly neighborhood marsh hag throwing it back to the pigeon murder song.

Daniel Nitz, Mavis Bacons, Kelly W., Holly Hooten, Alec Manning, Pygros Calling, Banjo Cat, Introducing Reese Pontiff as the 16th Doctor, Too Many Jams, Cat Jot, Pamela Rose El Tierra, James Spiller Rosa, Lord Braxton von Wendell III, D-Squared Life, then Stina Says, Countess of Carbon, Luminous Elk, Rodian Caution, Love Us for the Nerds, Taz Hernandez, Captain Tyson, Karzaroth the Illusionist, Casper Needs a Hug, Quotes, Devin7777, Troy Aker, Mandy Kane, Nathan Ryan, Estelle, Kim Sell, Silly Goose Honk Honk, Bis Bist Beads Boar Boobies, B-Birds, Boo Burberts, Bink Bink, Ghost Saberwolf, The Sleepy Mystic, Mr.

Alex Sir, Sarah Joy, Dolores Gara Schnapp, Taters, Precious, Teddy of the Wasteland, Daniel Gregory, Master Glaster, Sweets, Shar Noble, Mere Tender Creatures, Amanda Short, Whitney, Destroyer of Worlds, Chut, Brimble, Deedra, Mike Whiskey and Your Friend Frosty, Ben Bar, Beastly Death, Sven the Unlikely, Cognito Hazard Expunged, Ted Wassanasen, Virestria, Spoombles, Fernwood Gal, Twinkle Tots, Shocking Developments Nearby, Phantom's Moms, Callison, Daniel Arthur, Mike Laclusi, Dex, It's a, It's a Fucking Dog Rapture, King Humble, We'd Better Ask Dave, Wind Chimes for Safety, Cameron Winterborne Welsh, Fireball XL5, Mackenzie Dunanunna, Alexika Habaniera, Code Stranger, One Betsy Bat, Uh Uh Matt N, Julia Kringlin, Bobby G, Monad Nick, Frelp, M.

Lin, Feed Ma Fish, JRR on SFP, Lahari, Rikka Ayumu, Teds Loves Catherine, J Spark, Eevee Girl, Lucid Harbor, Diet Knight, Mars Royalty, Take 20 Damage, Maisie's Bandstand, Kim Bob, Battle Pope and Bugaboo, Snorts McGorts, Fresh Squeezed, Patrick Holt, Unexciting K, Atlas B, Hold It Now.

Hold it now, hold it now, hold it now.

Hit it!

Casey Howe, Bradley Ashby, Ang Ree, Peter, Megan Okeo, William Dyer, Vicki A Bear, Brad Manier, Jane, Hannah Dale, Phantom Zone, Stabby Cacti, Crystal Delightful, Gruntled, Kill Shot Betty and her Steel-Eyed Bow, Turtles All the Way Down, Jackie Lowy, The Little Pigeon, Crowed Nation, Crazed Bear, Ivimola, Dr.

Lattice Trash Angel says goodbye to the bestest boy Jester.

May he rest in peace.

Andy Croft, Petting Dogs, Gorey Morose, Russell Bunny, Jane G, Max Savage, Apprehensive Craig, Tim Araneta, Bacon, Nicole Studioso, Rambo, Chaos Squatcher, Jimmy Snims, Lord Than and Lady Sarah, Stephanie Sturgis, Kirsten, Sarah Farmer and Her Prismatic Chickens, Criddle, Heidelberdy, Tom Webster, Rashmi Vinkates, McClump, Rad Dolls, Salazar the Dough Mage, The Bard with the Tuba, Hayward's Finest, Garen Elizondo, Terrified Toddler, Alkalized Tertiary Amines, Ashton James, Elspeth, Skyland, ALR, Lily Davis, Sarah Maguire, Tonka 2005, Cruz and B.

Anthony, J.

Way Mythical, Tybald I, Stephen Schmidt, Xavier Romo, Tess Bart, Ally Frog, Trey the Turquoise Tortoise, Talon Lawson, Freya Titbittens, The Fontucky Wrangler, Jessica Shelton, Screm Brulee, The Singing Loon, Zusana, Celeste Yos, Stepan, Infinity Times Infinity, Noah and Katie, Joe R., Sarah Murphy, Justin at the Tree Cave, The Ambergler, Boodles, Reaper, Osvaldo Simeoni, Jiobon Delilah Rose, Ashley Chapel Peoples, Ryan Ortega, Cole, Hot Plate of Biscuits and Gravy, Zehoni Veda, Sean Wright, The Defenestration of Teds, Corrine Sabrantha, Beatrice Bodacious, Kyle of Light, Rubius Fuzzlebutt, K-Mack, The Something Something Detective Agency, Hayabuddha, Eli the Electrician, Sonny D.

Anomaly, Charmay, The Wondrous Methazophon, Hashtag Nissan Acura, Finnegan Robert, Flat Doug, Trinket Coralie, Deary Darling, Bookshift Managed, Ambient Drifting Man 80, Chris Hancock, DeCole23, Victor in Cincinnati, Gracefully Impaired, Jack Lane, Tired Pirate Muffin, Jay Snoosten, Caravan Shaker, Laura, Roman Ronin, John Pruitt, Camel Pope, Sammy Baldwin, Posh Baby Rentals Florida, Cryptesia, Rebecca Trossel, Mitzi Lou, Kelsey Home, Casper's Number One Fan, Amanda Marie Catherine, Damien the Goddamn Time Lawyer, Lola, Deli Cruz, Nan McVicker, Matt Mosby, Harry Fishnuts, Little Ball of Odd, Joshua Cody, Astronaweb, Starlight, Berserking Off, David Pierini, Techno Ranger Rick, Mossy, La Cockney Francaise, Virgo Aries Infinity, Best Buds Danny and M, Ashley, A Bug Named Nat, Potato Nation, Cece Ryder, Hunter B, Rusty Accord, Rudra, Death the Kid, Big Whiskey, Magic Pony, Robert Oliveri, Dan Bowman, Paul A.

Johnson, Killer Odd, Dandy Bay, The Green Street Major, Dr.

Pont Gusher Esquire is the proud owner of a Chrysler Empanada from Kunkelman Automotive, Creator 67, Bajolanth, Lafe's One True Love, Mermaid of the Dark Seas, Cosmic Shrugged, Incorrigible Ross, Deborah Wales, SCRB Mark11, Courtney Depona, Reedle the Beetle, John Dew, Maggie's Yarm, Stew, Anthonomale, Megan the Mighty, Purple Saline, Miss Chris Still Making Sandwiches, Three Legs Are Perfectly Good, Kingpin, Anomalous Vandal, Captain Blepp, Eevee Power, Kurt Bartnick, Your Favorite Kenny, Terry, PJ Says Hwat, Danielle L, Sparker, Shiny Melon Fear Now, Blargo, Blargo, Blargo, Tonight at 11, Doom!

Ilate Raul, Hicks Besymates, Disco Funk Slinger, Zealous Pragma, Tuba Rick, Princess Donut, The Queen Anne Chonk, It's Just Blake, Alice Malice, The Secret Jellyfish Mutant Cryptid, Sir Cat Dad, Theo Alexeen, Kelly Jane Danky, Aaron the Optimist, You Are Loved, Lucrezia, Andrew Barner, Tamara Oliver, The Real Dirt Fairy, Marissa, Broccoini, Ava, No Not That Ava, The One with an E

Grim, Zechinat, Underwater Corvit, Spizzeringtom, Michael Christian, Ransom, Brune Maisalil, Late Indeed Again, Theron Pyralis, Omvega, Lordy Lordy Dances with Burritos is turning 40, Aaron Mitchell, Fiona Malasy, Onyx Rose, Jackie Wavelet, J.R.

the Hiker Bear, Velocicate, Al Cave, Krusty McBeardface, Tracy, Maloran, Brian Barletta, Kara, Colmy Zen, Calibri, Mel Momberg, Rogue, Menlor, The Dread Pirate Fred Fredberger, What the Chuck, Urple Death, Sono Nasuno, Ben and Jessica, Nea DeRusso, Peachy Zatowichi, Inky the Kraken, Azula the Brave, and their ever-faithful squire Grabthar, Ruth McCormick, Justine Burbank, Dalek Steve, Dancing Dog Dreams, and existentially exhausted Bean.

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