Dean Delray '5836', Turkish Hair, Dressing Cool | Monday Morning Podcast 4-10-25

All right. Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Thursday afternoon,

just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. And I'm just checking in on you.
All right. So look at this.
I'm in New York City. What'd you think? I wasn't going to find microphones and a camera.
Why am I coming at you in a hostile way? You didn't think that. You just sat down to watch it.
So thank you. So whenever I have video, that means I have a special guest.
My special guest this week

has a new stand-up special that he

shot. way you didn't think that you just sat down to watch it so thank you so whenever i have video that means i have a special guest my special guest this week has a new stand-up special that he shot inside of a mountain man called 5936 now 5836 fuck 5836 uh mr dean del rey oh god i miss you dude i have not seen you in two fucking months it's got to be the longest since I've met you 15, 14 years ago.
All right, we got to explain. Yeah.
First of all, 5836 is not a lost Van Hagar album. Yeah.
O-U-8-5-6. 5150, yeah.
It's the amount of times that you've done stand-up. So you're the only guy I know past, like, 17 sets who starts counting.
You're like Gene Simmons with Pussy. So, like, what is it? I'm fascinated with this.
What is this? So this Rain Man thing that you do, and how do you keep, like, especially, you know, if you're here in New York and you do three spots, people are like, oh, fuck, Dean's here, and you hang, you have the hang, you chop it especially you know if you're here in new york and you do three spots like oh fuck dean's here and you hang you have the hang you chop it up how are you in your head like in your head like 59 30 58 37 58 37 like how do you do that compute compute i you know i started writing it down when i started just in the notes on my uh phone because i was thinking you know, one day I'll write a book and I'll be like, I did comedy for a couple months in 2009. Right.
And here's where I did it. And that was the point, you know, and then it just, I just started going and keep going.
And I kept putting them in. It became like a work ethic thing.
Yeah. Then it became kind of a thing of like, like okay when was the last time i was at this venue like you got club soda kenny he'll be like last year you opened with uh my kids joke you know but with me i gotta go in and go okay i was here two years ago or can't do any of this stuff let's do this stuff or whatever Or I also have notes in there like bombed like crazy.
Oh, yeah, I put those in there, man. When I fucking bomb, I put them in there.
Went to bed sad. Yeah, I remember.
I remember I did. Next morning, cereal did not taste as good.
Saw a Robin on a branch, picked up my spirits. I did the garden with you, dude.
I got the garden with you dude I did that garden with you dude And the next day Esty's like Can you come do the brunch show And I was like oh yeah I'm feeling good Oh after we did Madison Square Garden Yeah you murdered that night And then I go down there Fucking noon. They're eating waffles, and she put me on first.

And you ate your dick.

Oh, I could see the shadow of her roll through the door.

With a little glass of orange juice.

Oh, my God.

They got the waffles, the OG, the fucking mimosas.

Can I tell you something?

Yeah.

I fucking love those sets.

Yeah.

I love having the big thing and then just eating your balls.

I've been going to the Comedy village after uh after doing uh the play yeah so you do the play and there's this big like you know i mean i'm the cast is crazy good yeah so even if i'm a little off it's it's still murders because everybody else is just like blitzkrieg yeah so um you know you get like the standing ovation you do the fucking 28 broadway bows and it's like ah and then you go out you sign the programs and then i would just fucking go home to my stupid i got this corporate apartment with like no fucking pictures on the wall just sitting in this little white box and i'm like what do i do now like why why am i doing this this is fucking weird so what i started to do to take the edge off is i go over to the comedy village you know and i try out bits and uh semi eat it semi eat it and then also you know i'm going over there and you know i go over there during the week and they'll just be sort of like 20 people scattered amongst like 50 chairs and it's a really nice come down oh yeah yeah and I get to hang with PJ and talk about the old days and I meet some new comics and stuff actually met this comic that uh when I was in Paris you know I did a show out there and he you know he's doing what I was I was trying to do a little bit of my act in French he's over here trying to do his stuff in english so ended up you know getting to practice a little french with him hanging out and then i go home right way better yeah better but i do like the quick come down i'm a big believer in the in in the big quick come down you got to shake it off like if you do some fucking huge ridiculous gig uh the worst thing to do is to hang on to it yeah uh that is the worst i actually yeah i think that going to some hole in the wall and kind of eating it a little bit yeah you're like all right okay tuxedos off i'm i'm fucking bill again this is just right all right this is a job i gotta i gotta work at this thing so it just grounds you right back especially i'm not the the fucking headliner. You're the headliner.
It's your draw and everything. I'm the jerk off who goes on last.
No, no, no. So anyway, it's even better to immediately get back into my level, which is a fucking brunch show at the Cellar.
I like going to the brunch show and eating and not performing keith saw i called keith

man i just bombed during the brunch show he goes ah you dummy you don't do the brunch show everyone knows that what are you new so that's what i love that's what i love about that place is everybody knows you're gonna bomb on that show and they still mind fuck you when you do like you're the only guy that did it yeah yeah well let's talk about your special dean yeah hit me up and he goes dude i want to shoot a special i'm like that's fucking great and he goes there's this venue you know typical dean's like dude check it out this guy fucking found a cave in the middle of tennessee and he hollowed it out man and he built a fucking club in there and I'm like what and he and you were like yeah I said but at that point only they'd only done like music bluegrass never done comedy okay and they and they like they shine like the lights up on the rocks above you uh it smells of sulfur yeah when you're in there it smelled it smelled like the old house I grew up in for a period of time when I was growing up that had water damage in the basement because the foundation was made, you know, one of those. Yeah, like when your buddy moves to the basement, he's like, I got my own room now.
And you get in there and you're like, it stinks in here, but we can, you know, party. Yeah, no, but, and also, yeah, you're like breathing in mold.
But you know that damp basement smell? That's what it was. So anyway, oh my God, I forgot that.
We went that we went there we go to do the gift first of all how did you find out about the is it because you you do music and you did you were in a band and all of that stuff that you knew that this place existed because no comic i knew i know knew that that place existed no i ended up uh we talked about it on the last podcast before we launched it i'm sorry am i? No, no, no, but I'm going to tell the story. You tell that story, Dean.
I ended up interviewing the owner, Todd Mayo, because he wrote a book called the caveman chronicles about starting this venue. And then mid interview, I said, I got to do my special there.
And he goes, let's do it, man it man we've never done comedy i'm looking forward to it and then a month later me you and marcus price and kenny club soda kenny were there and nobody done comedy so there was nobody to call and go hey what's it sound like did the laugh suck in there whatever we totally fucking rolled the dice and i was just telling the guys outside of the studio if i would have known where the fuck it was i would have been really nervous because it was way out no man's land yeah it was like fly to nashville and then just drive an hour into the woods i mean it's a mountain yeah or whatever but like i just kept felt feeling like i was in in that movie the dirty dozen and you remember when the officers were in like the basement and they they were pouring all the gas and dropping all the grenades down yeah yeah yeah Jim Brown runs and he throws them in yeah I felt like I was in there and then did they close the door or no they did close the door yeah that was a little claustrophobic yeah because you're in there yeah it was like I felt like also like one of those 1950s nuclear fallout shelter. And like, you know, this one town, everybody makes it to the cave and they close the door and the whole world ends and it's just fucking them.
There was definitely those vibes, which I felt like added to the show. So I went up and I opened in front of you and you got to see this thing.
It doesn't look like anybody else's special and you're killed so I'm hoping that we can get out here and promote the hell out of it why am I saying this? we cut that part out let me redo that I'll have Andrew cut that part out I'm literally explaining what we're doing I'm sorry dude I went to the SNL after And I stayed up till four in the morning. I couldn't get to sleep till four in the morning last night.
So I'm a little fucking out of it here. Anyway.
So that venue just being up there, like, the second you got on the stage, I felt like, you know, those times where you're doing your act, but you're also, like, taking in the venue. Like, this is really cool yeah so um and then i was when you were doing your set you were murdering and i was way you know towards where they the door was like opening and stuff and i could just tell the way like marcus was shooting it that it was going to be awesome so i think that this thing is going to go viral because it doesn't look like anybody else's special.
Well, the first thing everybody says, and I was a little naive when we shot this thing. Thank God I was.
I was like, oh, yeah, we're going to shop this. And they're going to look at it for one minute and go, what the fuck, and buy it.
Yeah. But, you know, they didn't even look at it the days like netflix and uh we couldn't get a call back from netflix we sent them five one minute clips because we know how add people are just click on this and fucking your bosses will be happy you found this fucking million dollar special that looks like nobody's and it's fucking funny right and we couldn't even so nothing but i think that's a blessing dude oh yeah you remember that documentary where that kid that guy was in a band i think it was that that one about anvil oh yeah and how they were just right there and all the bands coming up that made it were looking at them like those guys are the guys and they just never broke through.
And, uh, they were just talking about the music business. Excuse me.
They were just talking about the music business. And the guy said, you know, at the end of the day, he goes, you're better to own something a hundred percent and sell 20,000 copies than to not own it at all and sell 20 million.
Oh yeah. So I think the fact that all of the, for whatever reason,

I don't understand like what show business is doing right now.

Like they're really not buying anything.

I don't know if they got overextended,

but I know like these streaming services are like these insatiable behemoths

that just need content.

So I don't understand why they're not necessarily buying the way that they were.

Especially when you hand them something like we made. I think it's the fucking tariffs, man.
I'm so glad I'm not watching the news. Oh, my God.
So anyway, but I think what they're going to be ending up doing by being stingy like this now or just whatever punishing us because we went on strike, whatever the hell it is that they're doing, they're going to create like they're setting people free yeah because people need to figure out okay well how do i get my voice out there it's just going to create all these different scenes and like i said dude i think you're going to probably make more money doing it this way because i'm going to promote the hell out of it obviously and uh that's my favorite thing to do is promote comics that i believe in you are one of those guys and uh yeah there's also ageism oh god big time i was talking to somebody about it and they go uh ageism in comedy is that real i go what are you fucking crazy no you have to be past certain points that's what i said it's show business in show business you have to be past certain points um or then the just the angle of attack it just gets steeper and steeper but um the reality is in in for all you young comics and performers out there is you never give away your power you always know that i have this power i'm relatable and just because you know these bean counters with their algorithms have these things like there's a million what I did when I was coming up is whatever I was running into once I went through that that was I felt was holding me back whenever I would I would go through the depression of it and then I would just look at somebody who was in the same boat and made it I'm like all right that's my guy right yeah so like i always use the going bald thing and i was just like oh fuck i'm going bald i wasn't getting work with the full head of red hair everybody wants to give me a fucking richie cunningham role what the fuck and i started losing my hair and i was like oh no man this is gonna be over and then i just went like no fuck that ed harris yule brenner and i just started at all these bald guys. New heroes.
Yeah. Fucking Telly Savalas.
And I was just like, those guys made him. But it was like out of necessity.
Yeah. Because if it wasn't, I was just going to be in some fucking comedy condo by myself going bald, wanting to kill myself.
So this is before, by the way, they had these new Turkish hair systems. Oh, yeah.
Have oh my god we're laughing at that uh like flights home there's like oh my god you have to look up somebody took a picture and it's like i think it's so goddamn funny yeah and like and it's like classic the classic thing like the shame like like you know people make fun of women with plastic shows or whatever but you can fucking go in on a dude with fuck that that's coming with the hair it's fucking oh my god hilarious oh my and it looks so fucking painful scary dude it looks like they put a fucking cheese grater on everybody's fucking head yeah and they would they like someone put them in a headlock and just went like that and they're just they're all sitting there like bandaged like this mash unit flying home from fucking from war dude i got it like i don't want to out the guy but like dude there's a guy oh i know a few guys no i know no this guy is not in show business yeah he's like a handyman he like fixes shit like elevators and stuff i know this dude he's like in his fucking 60s he goes and gets the full hair he did oh man no but it looks great and I gotta tell you he's happy as hell and he lost some weight and everything but I'm just sitting there like is he single is that why no wow he did he did like it had like you know he did like a it was very female energy like oh i don't like the way i look and i'm gonna change it and i'm gonna live my best life and there's like men doing that right now so i actually felt really good for him but it was also funny to me like why do you need a full head of hair to be in your 60s repairing elevators well some people you want to like have your big wrench and just yeah just just... He wants to get a headband.
Some people, it doesn't work on them, though. You see them, right? And it's all shitty a year later, like it didn't take.
Have they worked their way past that yet? I don't know, because I know a guy that got one a year ago, and I saw him recently. I thought you were going to launch into a song about a guy I know a guy sound like people would be vamping underneath I know a guy got some hair plugs just doing this this one goes on everybody just get back from Turkey I'll tell you this right now that's going to be a line in a song but the hair plugs didn't take so we still stuck in that town Going bald at the Dunkins Wondering what to do next A bad Springsteen cover bed Get your hair done Get it done now Hope it sticks or you'll be And it'll be a metaphor For some sort of oppression What yeah you know what i wanted to say is uh i was never um you know delusional about the business when i started i was like i'm just doing this because i always wanted to try comedy and then here i am 15 years later and i always tell people the key is don't be bitter because i would meet bitter comics on the way up and be like i'll get the fuck out this fucking shit sucks and i'm like you know it sucks selling harleys in the sun in the summer when the guy's like can i see the blue one in the sun again that fucking sucks this is pretty good you know so i look we shot what i consider for me uh of my favorite, absolutely the favorite thing I've ever done in my life.
I look at it and it looks like apocalypse now. We're waiting for Brando.
Oh no, it's going to be great. And I also think that what's funny is you're like, this business is always trying to get like, you know, young, beautiful or whatever, which is great.
You know, you want to see movie stars of course but uh there's the other lane which is like the relatable guy um that's had to work for everything and that's the thing about you you you have had to work for every inch of turf that you've had in here but um in this business i love that you recognize that you know because no i i see the guys like verzi's another guy and but that but when you guys like hit joe bartnick like myself was the same thing like i didn't like you know yeah i wasn't the it comic or whatever i just it was just a a war of attrition is that the right word i always hear that expression i don't know what that means i think just every day i took another you know well you were the but teddy savalis was your guy but for me you were my guy because as i toured with you over the years i remember i told the story many times we're in nashville you're doing the rhyming i went over and did zanies real quick and you go oh god i did zanies it was all these bachelorette parties i called them all cunts and uh i thought i I was never going to work again. Which they weren't.
Yeah, they weren't. Which they weren't.
It was my childhood anger. Yeah, and so- I mean, they might have been a little cunty, but they weren't cunts.
But I hear the stories. I mean, someone was marrying them.
Yeah. You know? No man's ever gone out and married a cunt.
Oh, really? I think, no, I'm joking. They have, but I also think a lot of times of times like you not understanding how to take care of a relationship yeah makes you think that the person turned into a cunt yeah and it's like no that's it's called resentment yeah but my thing is i hear your stories so it kept me going because you weren't the it got when i met you you weren't i always say you you weren't the mighty Burr.
You were doing, you know, potluck down there. That was the chugging along ginger.
Yeah, yeah. So it's like I hear the stories.
I listen to them. I keep going.
And I go, well, you know, fuck, I remember Burr was telling me this story. I keep going and keep going.
And I've already, if it ended tomorrow, look at this fucking run I had of 6,000 shows. Yeah, I know.
Well, I feel like everybody in this business, like, if you're here, you're getting this in the business. Yeah.
And then when you get here, you get this. And it's always that.
Yeah. And it's just because there are, you know, it's a hard business, but there are so many people.
I mean, look at Martin Scors yeah like they he didn't win an oscar until the departed unbelievable that's another guy that i looked at it's like i'm gonna sit here and whine i didn't make you know mean streets taxi driver raging bull good fellas all of these movies and have to wait and that that's like 10 20 30 like 30 something years of making imagine you're sitting there and redefining cinema yeah and you're going before he finally gets the thing right and then meanwhile you know like everything's the same and then meanwhile there's the catchphrase sort of director that you know had the the the movie that was about the right subject at the right like that's like you know threading a needle or whatever so i'm just looking going like all right there's that you know and that's just white guys forget about fucking racism sexism and all of that so like as long as you like look at it that way you the the pity party ends and you're like all right yeah let me go i know who i tell i tell uh i never sit around and complain man it's're like, all right. Yeah.
Let me go. Boo-hoo.
I tell jokes. I never sit around and complain, man.
It's just like, let's write jokes. Sarah Silverman once said, stop complaining and be undeniable.
And I took that in. I was like, yeah, man.
Oh, yeah. That's a true thing.
I just worked with her. There's this thing coming up on Netflix, Conan O'Brien.
Oh, Twain Award. I don't know if I'm...
Fuck those guys. They always go, don't fucking promote it.
I don't understand. What is the problem of saying that it's coming out? They want to do it.
All of these streamer people, they're like, don't say anything about it until April 11th at 1143. I know.
Surprise drop collab. Yeah.
I just feel like they all have like, you know, those old fashioned things with like those fucking accounting machines. Yeah.
Where they try to figure out, you know. Algorithm.
But yeah, I think they just want to put out a like a super a focused blast. Maybe that's what it is.
I don't know. Anyway, so we were doing that.
And anyway, Sarah was on was on that show. And like I've've always said this my favorite things are super intelligent people that are silly and she's like she's great yeah yeah so i got to sit next to her on sort of the dais thing and she went up of course and absolutely murdered um that was a fun hang that night and that was definitely one of those nights i was sitting there looking at all the people that were i mean it was such an insane level of talent that john mulaney went on first oh i don't know what the other guys were thinking but i was going like i can't follow that he was on he was on that that guy was unbelievable the first the first time i saw him was in zanies in chicago he opened for me and he was like know he's gotten better over the years, but he seemed like from day one he was that good.
I remember he had like this poise, like he'd been hosting Letterman for like 30 years. And he was like this 19, 20-year-old kid.
I was just sitting at the back of the club going like, this might be the biggest no-brainer. This kid's going to make it I've ever seen.
So anyway, he went on first. But I did have that moment during that show um of thinking that i always have that imposter thing like like i get why you're here i get why you're here i get why you're here you know like i don't get you know like and then i gotta be like no i do deserve to be here i'm not gonna bomb i'm gonna fucking do this so but i think that that's uh as long as that doesn't become torturous, I think it's a good thing to feel a little less than.
You know, it's funny. Speaking of Conan, he was the only guy ever to put me on TV.
He gave me my first TV spot. So I know he doesn't run his fucking Instagram.
But I ghost DM'd it anyway, just sent it out there into the world of like, hey, man, I just want to thank you.

You were the only guy ever to put me on late night TV, first TV spot ever. I'll never forget it.
And I put a picture at the beginning of the special of everyone that helped me in my career and all my friends you keep oh that's cool so it spins through this

amazing thing the clubs where i worked and and uh names on walls and everything and then conan was in there you know and i just i wanted to put him in there because that was that was a fucking insane night for me you know my mom was still alive she got to see it she showed the neighbors like look he's on TV and we used watch conan you know her and i and and so um i just sent that dm to him you know like whoever uh whatever assistant runs his account i know i don't know i'm bad at those things to you i don't i don't read it i i eventually it just becomes like uh it's like emails i get like anxiety like i used to like not check my emails at all and it got up to the point my account got full when you get over a hundred thousand emails i mean it was like a decade of like the only way i would check my emails if somebody said did you get my email and i would say what is your email and then i would search it and i would get it dude sometimes i'll text you one day you don't even get it. You know, text you.
Oh, yeah. Yeah, right.
I hate it. So one day I had my assistant came in and I just said, can you do me a favor? I go, can you just delete everything and I'm just going to fucking start over again? Yeah.
And she goes, really? I go, yeah. She goes, well, what if I go, I'm never going to find it, gonna find it whatever it is just get rid of it dude and i felt like this lightness like i like cleaned out my garage or something so this morning i'm taking the train down here riding the subway down and i realized i was back up to like 1400 and i'm like all right i gotta i gotta knock it down like this week i'm trying to delete 100 emails i do it at the gym so i'm at the gym on the elliptical and I'm like, all right, I got to knock it down.
Like this week, I'm trying to delete 100 emails. I do it at the gym.
So I'm at the gym on the elliptical. The elliptical? The elliptical.
Oh, yeah, whatever. I've been on it for years and I call it the wrong thing.
That's the one. Everybody's, oh, walk it at a 45-degree angle on a treadmill.
It just fucking boring. I got to get a sweat going.
No, I got to get it going. But i'll go through it there or long flights out out out long flights across the states you know dump that shit catch up on emails like hey i know this is from a month ago but i'm on a jet blue flight right now cross country so you got my attention you sounded that was like when you said out out yeah i thought you were counting off that talking head song.
Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun. God, I love that.
Psycho Killer. Yeah.
So good. Oh, that's it.
Yeah, Psycho Killer. It was the same tempo.
I've been playing a lot of drums. I want to give a shout out real quick to Eric McFadden and Kate Vargas from Sergeant Splendor for letting me sleep on their couch while I'm here all this week.
Oh, wow. These guys always, anytime, like, yeah, man, here.
You know, so shout out to them and great fucking band. You would love them.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
All right. All right.
So we got to, before we go, we have to, Dean is also like a fashion plate. So so tell me about the jacket is that from the charles lindberg collection i know you just didn't go to an army navy store and get that that cool jacket where did you get the jacket this is the thing about dean is like for all you fucking old heads out there you don't have to dress like a dad yeah Yeah.
You can fucking... You know what I learned that from? Mick Jagger when I was touring with the Stones, you know? When he was touring with the Stones.
We're just going to throw that in 28 minutes into the podcast. Just so you have something to say, fuck that guy.
No. No, you're a likable guy.
Yeah, yeah. So Jagger, my point is, there's a guy in my neighborhood, and he's like fucking 75, but he wears sick-ass clothes, so you don't look at him as 75.
You're not looking at him as he's young, but he's in- It's a great energy to put out there, and young women smile? And young women smile. They always smile at a fucking old guy.
Yeah. And then he gets to smile.
And it makes you feel good. Like Lou Adler.
You get seen. The guy that owns the Roxy.
He goes to the Laker games. He's dressed so cool.
So I used to see Jagger. And he was always in some kind of cool outfit.
So you never went, wow, that dude he just if you dress not cotton dockers gap dude and give tap out you're gonna you know kind of have a flavor you can have a vibe and then people so then you like i can't if you just go like you just sort of you're going to your drab years and you just said fucking have a bunch of old clothes on you don't give a fuck if you don't give a fuck like the world does it yeah so you just like i feel like you know when you're in like your 70s and 80s all you want is just somebody to say what's up yeah so if you come in you got a little style because there's like you know uh this coffee shop i go down and i i have one a day that's my thing now right only So I get the old man nap in, right? There's this older black dude that comes by. Yeah.
Every day. Just going to work, dressed to the fucking nines.
And I was there with a friend of mine. And I go, look at this guy.
Look at this guy. Look at this guy coming to the street.
I go, that's how I want to be at his age. He had a hat.
He had two-toned shoes. That's it.
But he's pulling it off in this cool-ass suit,

little pocket square

or something like that.

And he just was like

walking up the street.

Like,

I don't know.

You just felt good for him.

And he was feeling good.

He looked good.

He felt good about himself

and stuff like that.

So I've been trying,

you know,

lately to step,

oh, you wouldn't know today,

but I try to step it up a little bit as far as, you, especially like I'm not a good looking dude. So you got to have some good clothes.
I'm sitting in the same tree, dude. Yeah, no, dude, we could have a podcast, two ugly dudes.
I would say ugly. I would say like two background dudes.
Yeah. Two background dudes.
Third special, third, uh, one of those guys called the, extras my name of my next special is gonna be like oh i didn't get one yeah you know you know that guy they come in they pass everything out you're like oh hey oh that's the worst can you see me over here the guy with no vibe yeah um all right well we got it where yes the jacket. And then we got to give the information where to see you special.
Jacket Ironheart. And it's an N1 replica.
So it's full New York warm. What does N1 mean? That's a military.
It was the N1 model that they wore. And it's got real, you know, mon and wool and this is wax so it's raining

or whatever. It's like a

fucking winter jacket.

My only one I own. So who makes it?

Ironheart. Ironheart.
You can get it at

Self Edge or I took

to the other place, Standard & Strange.

Is that in Oregon? Down in Soho.

Oh, that place. Yeah, where you bought

the green jacket you never wore?

I think I can finally fit it. Really? It isn't green.
It's a weird color. It's great.
You got to wear that. Dude, if I can't fit...
No, I joined this big gay gym, dude. Yeah, yeah.
It's just wall to wall. I wish it was called that.
It should be called that. Big gay gym.
Oh, the joke I've been doing in my act. It's so...
My gym's really gay. It's spelled J-I-M.
Dude, it's like, but this is the thing, dude. It's dumb good, man.
I love it. Once you get past the fucking culture shock of that, because, dude, it's like at the gym, joining like one of these big gay fucking New York gyms is the gay dudes, they're fucking shredded.
They don't skip leg day. Dude, they're all, because they're trying to appeal to men that are visual so they're all trying to look like the calvin klein underwear fucking dude so you come in there with your dad bod thinking you look all right you're like god damn i gotta fucking i gotta step it up here yeah trying to get into uh this gay gym shape so i've been eating like salads and shit oh yeah i'm almost i'm almost

there i feel so soft now i don't know what happened to him he used to be mean and he was

one of us now i am soft now and i like it i like it you know what's funny too is i love

the angry people that still hate women and and like that yell at me and blah blah blah because

i don't take it personal it's like dude i get it yeah it's like don't leave me man yeah yeah

don't leave me with all that i just always write back you know if i have the time i'll write back

Thank you. that yell at me and blah blah blah because i don't take it personal it's like dude i get it yeah it's like don't leave me man yeah yeah don't leave me with all that i just always write back you know if i have the time i'll write back and be like listen man i hope you figure your way out of it you know what i mean yeah women are great believe it or not uh if you treat the same thing yeah if you treat them right or whatever i'll hit them back and go hey i was angry like you and i went for my dreams at 44.
Just go do it. Fuck it.
Yes. Go do it, man.
Don't take your anger out on me. Just go do it.
Yeah. Yeah, there you go.
There you go. Wasn't that nice to hear? That made me feel good just to hear that.
Where can we see your special? All right. Here it is right now.
You can see it on my Patreon for the next six days. Patreon.com slash Dean Del Rey.
And then it'll be on YouTube April 17th on my channel, Dean Del Rey. Please share it.
Give it to everybody. Let's see if we can blow it up because I really, really am proud of this special.
And I can't thank you you enough for without you I couldn't have done this. There's no

fucking way. Don't worry about it.
It would have been

an iPhone with Marcus

in the back going, you sure we can't get like 50

bucks man? And a light

bulb you know so. No I knew

Marcus was going to kill it and I knew that you were going to

find the venue and I also knew that it was going to be

different and

I'm proud of you dude.

So you got the new hour ready to go?

Yeah well I got a 30 i want to shoot in joshua tree in june that's the new plan oh okay yeah you build in a fucking brand yeah i gotta do it all right out at pappy and harry it's just that old west town you know pioneer town shoot it out there all right i'm already seeing the opening. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah, you're going to have fun out there. Are you coming on a motorcycle car? What vehicle? Not to give away the sequel.
Yeah. It's special.
Well, we'll have to see. But we want to have a bunch of motorcycles.
That was the perfect fucking answer. Yeah.
We'll have to see. Pique their interest.
Look at you. Understanding show business.
Yeah, yeah. All get a cup of coffee? Yeah, thank you so much.
Love you, brother. Check out 5836.
Bam! Short term memory is coming back. We've already done the play 32 times.
What? I gotta see that, dude. I saw that.
Last play I saw was the Jaws play. This is the thing.
It keeps thing it keeps getting like more fun oh man i just i get off on watching like uh like bob karen michael donald uh john and howard all do something different every single night and uh i'm like oh these guys are like comedians that are always trying out new material but like they have to do it within the context of these words. Yeah.
And so there's that other challenge. As a comedian, the challenge is I got to say something new.
But that's like you, dude. But they have to find the new in the same words.
So I find it more challenging. And I have learned about my brain.
Yeah. is that if I try too many new things and change the cadence, I go into the white room and I can forget my fucking line.
That's happened to me twice. Whoa.
You forget your line? Oh, just completely blank. Whoa.
But it's funny. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Because your scene partner helps you out. Do you say it there like, fuck? No, no, no, no.
You just sort of improv back and forth and then they they feed you a line to get you back on no and the crowd never notices that's great yeah you know i went to uh i was telling this story on my podcast i was talking to somebody that was in one of those musical music and she was singing a song and she goes dude i've done the show like fucking you know 200 times yeah and i'm up there and i'm just sort of drifting thinking about my day and then she goes i just go fucking blank she goes i have no idea what i'm singing about oh man but she had like background singers and she just sort of started vamping i think she said it she goes i almost sounded like i was trying to speak chinese and then she tried to make the noise of like the microphone like cutting in and out like going like that with like her voice and she was like mortified and she went like the show. Friends, oh, that was great.
She goes, what do you mean? That was great. I totally forgot that second verse.
I was like, oh, you did? Oh, I didn't notice. Yeah, they were checked out too.
No, no, no. It's just like there's a lot going on or whatever.
I get it. The thing is if you just don't go like, oh, my God.
I don't know. You can play it off.
And then what happens is when your scene's over and you get off the stage you and the other actor just start fucking laughing oh yeah your ass off and you go i'm sorry about that so they're just like dude you're gonna do that for me so you're kind of there for each other it's it's it's really um you know uh not just i don't think as a comedian like i think that we get real like oh fuck i only hang out with comedians and like I'm gonna get into this actor-y world and this is gonna be this different thing and I'm gonna feel weird and not comfortable in it it isn't that it's really oh speaking of which I saw that Good Night and Good Luck the George Clooney play which was amazing fucking amazing the set was like breathtaking. All the actors killed it.
The story, very relevant, obviously, for today. And Alana Glazier was in it.
Oh, fuck. Yeah.
So, I got- Dude, I'm so proud of you, man. Yeah.
Like I- That's why I was watching her. I was proud of her.
I was like, look at us fucking comedians getting in here on some of this Broadway stuff. I fucking look at you and I just go like, God damn, man.
That is my brother killing it in the industry you know it's it's talking to someone outskirts yeah still on the outskirts of the industry thing it's like you know we're not doing this this is about you i know but i've been on you i i just wanted to you know just i thought about it and i was like this is mind-boggling you know it, it's just unreal. And so fucking cool.
You know? Hey dude, I'm a fucking 33 year old, 33 year overnight success. Yeah.
So, um, anyways, that is the podcast. Check out 5836.
April 17th. April 17th.
YouTube. Yep.
Patreon right now. You can buy it on Patreon.
What's, what's where buy it on Patreon Patreon.com And once again Thank you so much Yeah no worries dude we're gonna blow this thing up Go out there get some money Go buy some motorcycles Alright thank you for watching everybody Listen to the music and the bonus episode of the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday Morning Podcast.

Have a great weekend, you cunts.

Let them up!

Oh, yeah! Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, April 10th, 2017. What's going on? How is you? How's it doing good i apologize that the uh podcast is late i apologize that it's late i uh i was flying back from san antonio i meant to do it yesterday but i was doing a tour of san antonio and the day got away from me you know i was going all around san antonio i went out to jeyders drum shop.
I got some Mexican food around the corner that was fucking delicious. I forget the name of that place, but it's going to be on the video.
Then I went down to the river, walk, and over to the stupid fucking Alamo. Jesus Christ, just crawling with fucking tourists, reenactors, all kinds of magnets and shit.
And I just was like, you know, every time I go to San Antonio, I was like, I'm going to fucking go in there and I'm going to read up on all these guys who fought to the last guy. I'm going to read up on every time I get there.
There's like 9000 people in jean shorts. There's a fucking gift shop.
And I just say, forget it. I felt bad about it.
Like, hey, what are you not? What are you not patriotic there bill you know but then i ran to somebody from san antonio go you ever go into

this thing they go no we live here and i was like oh i get it no i get it the alamo is your time

square like nobody in new york goes to time square okay nobody in la goes to fucking disneyland or

fucking universal unless you have kids but i mean

just as an adult you're not gonna you're not just gonna fucking go there you know you don't stand in

line in your own fucking town okay one of the advantages of it being your own fucking town

is you don't have to stand in line with everybody else because you know all the spots you know where

to go you know where not to go and when you're in san antonio where not to go is the fucking alamo

I don't know. with everybody else because you know all the spots you know where to go you know where not to go and when you're in san antonio where not to go is the fucking alamo unless you're a goddamn tourist then you go in there and then you're going to go over to the river walk which is actually for a touristy thing was very nice that man-made river i got to tell you something that's the first time i walked down it i i liked it i really enjoyed it there was a bunch of people standing, getting their little hustle going on, trying to get you to go in and drink a margarita.
All kinds of wacky people wearing hats. People driving by on the little gondolas.
It was like you were in Venice, but it was Texas. Their little slice of fucking Italy.
And then right around the corner was the majestic theater very ornate the word only used to describe a theater very ornate hey my buddy redid his garage oh it's beautiful it's so ornate nobody ever says that right they call it a fucking man cave okay so the man caves for fucking you know the twinkle toes there the broadway stars of these theaters and this thing had like i mean had like fucking houses and she looks on peter pan stuff was amazing and evidently while i was on stage there was a bat flying around that went past me and aside the fact that it was a bat like nobody even reacted they're so used to bats down there evidently they uh they kill all the fucking mosquitoes or enough of them you know what i mean so people in san antonio evidently cool with bats i don't know but i had two great shows the first show went awesome and the second show was just fucking next level and i actually text my agent i was like the hour's ready and he was like really and i'm like yes so let's fill up the calendar there fuck oh no that's not how i talk to my agent um i go let's fill up the you know let's fill up the fucking calendar so his mission should he choose to accept it he's going to fill up my calendar and then and i gave him the list of the eight teams that i have left that i need to go see all right so if you're on this list. I'll be doing a show.
At some point.

Within the next fucking year.

Because I'm knocking these out in the next year.

Before my daughter starts walking and talking.

And doing all that stuff.

I got to knock this out.

So.

I need the Toronto Raptors.

The Ottawa Senators.

Who are playing my Boston Bruins.

In the first round of the playoffs.

Congratulations to both teams making the playoffs.

That's a big deal.

Playoffs?

Oh, wait.

No, no, no.

Wait.

Are we playing them?

I think we are playing them, which makes no fucking sense to me.

Fucking hockey.

If we're like the eighth seed, shouldn't we play the Capitals?

Shouldn't the Capitals be rewarded that they won their fucking division

rather than having to play the fucking Penguins

and then they knock one another out and all we got to do is try to get past the senators no disrespect but disrespect intended no i'm just being honest all right let's check this shit out right now okay you know this isn't gonna work you know it's not you know i'm gonna be on the wrong fucking one the boston celtics are a second seed they're a fucking second seed there all right hang on a second nhl playoff bracket all right here we go nfl nhl fucking playoff bracket all right yes this is what the fuck i want you're gonna make me click on it again i typed what i wanted and then you're like is this what you want yes this is this is what i want all right the rangers are versus canadians the bruins get the senators i don't get it capitals get the maple leaves okay all right all right i thought and then oh there's a good one columbus versus the penguins that oh that's a good one nashville predators made the playoffs playing the blackhawks minnesota versus the St. Louis Blues.
Anaheim Ducks versus the Calgary Flames and the San Jose Shacks versus Edmonton Oilers. Here we go.
Brad Marchand is back and all of that shit. So anyways, yeah, I got to get the Toronto Raptors, Ottawa Senators.
I got to get the Brooklyn Nets. I've already seen the New Jersey Nets, but my rule is if you get a new stadium,

I don't give a fuck.

I'll eventually see it.

But if you move to a new city, especially a state, you know, then, yeah,

I got to go fucking see you again.

All right.

I need the Carolina Hurricanes, Orlando Magic, Tampa Bay Buccaneers,

the Memphis Grizzlies, and the New Orleans

Pelicans.

So there you go.

So I'm going to try to get, you know, I'll probably do the Canadian ones at the same

trip, and I'll try to do the fucking Orlando-Tampa at the same time.

Then I think I'm going to do a bus trip to knock out those fucking three.

Carolina, fucking Memphis, and New Orleans. I think that that's what I'm going to do a bus trip to knock out those fucking three.
Carolina, fucking Memphis, and New Orleans. I think that that's what I'm going to do.
And then I'll be done. And then what will you do, Bill? Well, you know what I'll do is I'll move on to fucking college.
All right? Because the day I go out on the road and I don't have something to fucking look forward to and I just sit in the goddamn hotel waiting for the show, that's it. I'm going to dry up.
You hear me? Dry up! So up so anyways i got boise coming up and i just got an email from the theater via my agent saying hey we've been watching these videos seeing uh bill likes to play the drums what if we rented a drum kit and put it in the theater during the day and if bill wants to play during the day he can come in and play for like an fucking great is that? It's the coolest thing ever. I might put that on my fucking rider.
I don't give a shit how much it costs because this is the thing. They always say, hey, we'll do that for you.
And then they just, you know, they pay me less money. That's how it works.
Now, God damn it. This isn't in fucking stereo.
I just realized it. Wait a sec.
Wait a second. She.
Let me see something. There we go.
Oh, you fucking son of a bitch. That's not it.
How do I get this thing in stereo? You know, this is just one of these fucking days, isn't it? Isn't this just one of these days? Now I'm just going to push buttons what's going on there it is now it's in

stereo oh jesus christ i thought there was something wrong with the wire my fault well

you had to suffer for 753 i'll let you i'll just say that it isn't you know this you know something

you know what's great about it it'll give you something to complain about you know unless the

great andrew themilis fixes the fucking thing i don't know anyways plowing ahead here um so what else okay so i went down there and i saw uh i saw a lot of san antonio this time like i said i had great fucking shows you know what who's kidding who i i lost i completely lost my train of thought because now i'm fucking mad at. Why didn't I think to just fucking push that button? I immediately thought it was the wire.
I troubleshooted. I never knowingly lied about the wire.
All right. So, I know what you guys are thinking.
Hey, Bill, you said that you were going to watch some alternative sports this weekend. You said you were going to watch the Masters, the MotoG in fucking formula one well old fucking billy freckled face the fat titted no glute having fucking cunt i did two out of three i watched the moto gp you know what's hilarious i didn't realize that there was two undercard motorcycle races and i'm sitting there going like this fucking race is only 20 laps what's going on here right the first one was the gp3 then or something the moto three then the moto two and then uh then there was the last one so i kind of fast forwarded through the first two and then i watched the whole um i watched the whole uh moto gp uh the real fucking one and uh congratulations to i don't even know how to say this guy's name maverick finales you know i saw that mark markenberg whatever his fucking name is he was cruising around and all of a sudden he just didn't make this turn and he was very upset with himself that's his name mark menendez that's not who it is that's the guy who killed his fucking and he killed his his parents.
I don't know what happened. And then Valentino Rossi came in second.
And both of them, they seem very excited about that. You know what I mean? They got some points.
They felt good about themselves. And I got to tell you something, man.
Those fucking guys. And you got to check out the MotoGP.
It's un-fucking. The amount of crashes that I saw in all three of those races there was one guy who's going through the turn he started to accelerate and the back end kind of kicked a little bit so he got off it then he got back on it and the fucking the goddamn bike had a had a seizure fucking did a couple little s's and then just like started flipping over and then the guy of course he flies off the damn thing it hits him in the back of the head it amazes me that they get back up again those suits they have are incredible they got little airbags in them and shit but still they always end up fucking up their hands or their ankles or something like that but this guy kind of high-sided on it which is basically you know if you're a novice like me when they just sort of lay it down and the bike starts sliding and you just kind of you just touch the ground and slide with the fucking thing high siding is when it hits the ground and you fucking catapult over the top of it the high side of it and that's when you get seems to me that's when you get fucking hurt um it's ridiculous they're going like 200 miles an hour in something that you can just fall off of um but i enjoyed the race immensely i enjoyed that race as much as you guys probably didn't enjoy the first seven minutes 53 seconds of fucking no stereo on this um i and then i watched i watched the masters too and i could not be happier for uh sergio garcia i mean i just you know it's one of the things about being at his level when you go that long without winning is that gives you every it gives every mouth breathing haggadoss eating fucking douchebag who never achieved anything the right to walk up to you and start telling you about how you can't get it done you know what i mean sitting there wearing a wife beater with your flabby grandmother fucking arms you know just giving this guy shit when he missed that one on 18 i was like oh god oh boy here we go here we go shades of kenny perry is this what i'm gonna see again and actually every year when i watch the masters you know i don't watch it every year i shouldn't say that but every time i watch it somebody always folds in back nine, and I actually get mad at the tournament.
I always end up, you know, I was actually texting my, I was texting a court who did the live final day of the Masters, and I was just like, dude, can somebody just win this fucking event? Does anybody ever just win the Masters? No one ever wins the Masters. Somebody fucking loses it every year, and you just have to watch somebody.
Like a buddy of mine texted me and said, if Sergio doesn't win this playoff, he said that putt will haunt him. It's like, no, it won't.
It will, but you know what's going to haunt him is every cheesecake factory eating douchebag walking up to him hey you remember that time you missed that putt you know giving him shit right not realizing that that missed putt is a fucking metaphor for the other person's entire goddamn existence this guy's played in over 70 something major so anyways just like watching phil mickelson win it way back in the day in like oh four it was so great to watch him get the monkey off his back so congratulations to him um winning the most difficult activity known to man playing the non-sport that is golf you know i still had to give it shit right it's such a i know it's such Dude, it's so right? It's such a, I know it's such a, dude, it's so hard.

It's such, it's a fucking mind fuck.

I get it.

I get it, but I would rather have to do that

than face a fucking roided up,

well, he never got convicted, so.

Carder Remens, right?

Roger Lemons, right? I wouldn't want that guy throwing half a fucking bat at me you know just muttering explicatives as i walk up to the plate like i would much rather have to try to sink a fucking three footer than some fucking roided up maniac on the goddamn mound who can't admit that his fucking career is. So he's got to go out and take some fucking horse tranquilizers.
Not saying that he did it. And you know what? If he did, God bless him.
God bless him that he did. I am so fucking.
I told you, I'm pro steroids, dude. I'm fucking pro.
Everybody should get on him. You know, I want every fucking athlete on steroids.

OK, and then the doctors can look at you and see what the side effects are, and they can gradually make them better and better and better and better until it's like vaporized

weed.

You know, you just have like a steroid mist and me with my fucked up shoulder.

You know what I mean?

I'll just come in and just walk into the doctor's office.

You know, they'll put a fucking hot towel over my head like i have hay fever and then they'll just have me breathe in steroids i'll walk out i'll have glutes again after 20 years of sitting on my ass in planes and rental cars my fucking glutes will come back they're just like non-existent i don't know what happened i just fucking like you know like uh when you're gonna make something you gotta pound out like a fucking chicken breast yeah that's what my fucking ass is like after years of being on a plane so um i actually made my way across to the gym when i was in san antonio to their sister property sister property you mean the other hotel fucking weirdos anyways and i went in there i did the elliptical for about 40 minutes and then i just did a fucking for me for me i did a savage fucking leg workout and now i i you know i know you guys are all thinking well what did you do bill all right this is what i did i had the exercise ball i put it on the fucking wall between me and my back and then i would just roll down with that you know so i could keep my back nice and straight and my my weight on my heels pushing through my heels to engage my my veal fucking buttocks um then what did i do i did hip thrusts after that you know then i did uh some calf raises then i did the classic you know the things you sit down where you do the front parts of your quads and then the other ones you stick them and you fucking go the other way you do the back part of your legs and then i got on the squat machine i don't like the one you stand up on i like the one that you sit down on i feel like you can go deeper you don't have to worry about your fucking back and uh and i did that i did fucking three sets of all of that shit and uh this morning my legs were definitely killing me um so that's a new part of my workout okay that's what i'm doing but i don't have all those leg machines when i'm here you know what i mean and my shoulder's fucked up so i'm not putting a barbell on my back with a bunch of fucking weight okay i will just i will choose to do more squats without any weight because i am an old man but i swear to god i swear to god man those fucking athletes man they got to keep taking steroids you know just like the singers you know a singer can't sing a song What do they do? Give her a little bit of fucking steroids right in her throat. Give her throat the old right there, Fred.
And what happens? She fucking she goes out there and starts singing a song. She makes it simple.
And you know what? And it lasts the whole night long. Sorry.
And then lastly, for alternative sports, I thought I taped the fucking Formula One race in Shanghai, China. And I didn't fucking pisses me off so all i did was i just watched the highlights so uh congratulations to lewis hamilton him and the uh the guy won the australia they could you know they came in one and two and now they just flipped so they're tied with 43 points the fuck's his name i should know his name he only won a goddamn race right right? That's all, right? Sebastian Vettel for the Ferrari team.
They're tied at 43. And Max Verstappen is 25th.
25 points, I'm sorry, in third place. And fucking Ricky Rocket is in fifth place.
Kimi Raikkonen. Now, he's not the guy I called.
Who's the guy I called fucking Ricky Rocket? Nico Rosberg. Is that it? No, Nico Rosberg fucking retired.
I don't fucking know. There's too many goddamn sports going around my head now.
Anyways, the playoffs in NHL stat. We're playing Ottawa.
I like our goddamn chances. I heard that defense is a little banged up, according to Joe Bartnick on the Puck Off podcast'll be watching all of those i'll be tweeting i'll be fucking facebook and i won't be doing any of that shit but maybe i will um so anyways i ate pretty good when i was on the road now so it kind of bad you know i had that mexican food it was just fucking you know i used to you know i used to always make fun i and the tour i was making fun of like mexican food as far as like you know the refried brain beans and the rice that they put on the plate and i was just like you know what this shit is this is mexico's version of coleslaw you know what coleslaw like most people don't take it seriously it's basically it's a plate filler you know you got your piece of meat you got your vegetable and then they just throw that shit there just so the plate doesn't look naked you know what i mean oh wow look at this big plate of food i got no no no that's like more than 60 percent rice and beans i didn't get it all right then once i understand now you mix all that shit in together you grab one of those little fucking round pieces of bread whatever the fuck you call it you put it on there you know a little bit of hot sauce it's delicious you got a little bean and rice fucking uh fucking thing there thingamajig sorry i'm white i don't know i'll learn it i've only been out in la for 10 years at some point i'll learn it was that a tostada um i know what an enchilada is i know what a crispy taco is she said crispy or puffy i've never heard puffy before.
I always go crispy.

You know what I mean?

But the crispy tacos, it's only good on the first bite because then the whole fucking thing falls apart.

You know what I mean?

It's like an old person's hip.

You barely touch it and the whole thing just cracks

and it doesn't work anymore.

So you kind of got to go soft taco, right?

The flaccid taco.

All right, I'm sorry.

But then if you mix the beans and rice in there, all I can say is it was goddamn delicious. Let me do a little bit of advertising here.
A little ads here for the week here. What am I doing here? Come on.
Why won't this computer work right for now? Oh, here we go. Oh, our old friends here.
First read of the week. Oh, zip.

Okay.

Yeah, I flew for the first time.

I went up with an instructor.

And holy shit.

Anybody out there who flies helicopters?

I mean, jeez, I missed the fucking pad when I was coming in. I mean, I missed it by probably 60 yards.

Just coming in way too fast.

I was like, I got to, I got to, settling with power. Fuck this.
I just kind of continued on past it like you're supposed to. Came back around.
The next time, you know, I came up a little short. Took me about, I don't know, 26 goes around.
So I was starting to feel it again. And it was funny.
Like my fourth time, I just flew the traffic pattern down there at Long Beach. um my fourth time around i was turning to go downwind and i just started laughing and my instructor started laughing too because he knew i was laughing i was just like this is fucking awesome it's just fucking it's fucking awesome and it just totally relit the fire in me to go do it and i'm gonna try and fly again before the end of the month so if i can just kind of fly like once every 10 days or something while i'm getting the little one going you know um i would be very happy with that it's such a it was such an accomplishment in my life to get my pilot's license i would hate to just not do it and forget how to do it it's so much fucking fun and it's really safe you I mean? If you just do what they say, the way they maintain them.
I know everybody always tries to freak out, but you know, they're always freaking and always freaking me out. Like, dude, be careful up there.
Be careful. Oh yeah.
Okay. I was going to fly with a blindfold.
Yeah. But I get it.
I get it. Anyways, let's, um, let's plow ahead here.
Um, oh yeah. So I ended up, uh, you know what? I can't plow ahead here because I was going to start doing the reads, and I'm only at 28 minutes, so I need to run my yap a little bit longer.
So, yeah, I think we flew the traffic pattern for just like a little over an hour. I got a 1.1 on the Hobbs meter and didn't do any autos.
It was just all low approach, you know, normal approach, steep approach. That's all I was doing.
And, um, it was fun flying the 22, which is my, that's my favorite one. Even though the 44 is cool, you know, it's a nicer one.
I just love the 22 is like driving an old sports car with no power windows, no power fucking drum brakes i always just put that one it's just like i'm whatever it's doing i'm actually doing it i heard on some of those high-end helicopters if you want to if you want to hover you just push a button and it just does it for you that's the one you get when you get older you know what i mean i don't want to sit here draw it on a dime um all right you know what i'm just gonna start reading these fucking i'm gonna start doing the reads here for the week um oh by the way what's the deal with all the haunted houses in uh san antonio you know it was the usual stuff as far as uh as far as you know how texas goes texas is the king of the shiny four-door pickup truck that's never seen a construction site or off-road. In Texas, that's a four-door sedan.
And I'll tell you, they got some fucking nice ones. I saw a guy pull up in a Ford F-150 four-door.
It's got giant tires on it, this old fucking guy. Big white cowboy hat, big fucking belt buckle, and white cowboy boots.
I was just like, ah, this is just, you know, as a tourist, it's like, that's what the fuck I wanted to see. Now I can say I went to Texas.
You know what I mean? I don't want to see somebody looking at their fucking iPhone. I can do that out here.
All right psycho from yogurt shop video all right bill turns out that nut job i don't even remember this

who was accosting the couple oh oh oh that's right this goes back to like uh a couple podcasts ago

where there's this woman who was trashing these two people for kissing in public

saying that it was sexual harassment and all of that type of stuff and uh i kind of agreed with her on on a level is i just i hate watching people kiss in public you know what i mean give each other a quick peck you know going for one real one if you want to but then just keep it moving you know what i mean to literally sit there take it to the point where her pussy's getting wet and your dick starts standing up it's like what are you don't get the fuck out of here it's gross all over each other i fucking can't stand it i don't like it in movies you know it's disgusting um anyways so here's an update for this lady flipped out was yelling at them and you know i don't know gonna call the cops i couldn't get through the whole thing because she looked like she was a little, you know, had some mental issues going on. Something was going on.
She was extremely lonely or somebody filled her up with Jesus. I don't know what happened.
Anyways, Bill, turns out that nut job who was accosting the couple at the yogurt shop is an amateur porn actress. Yeah, boy.
And witnesses say that the guy only kissed his girlfriend on the forehead. No lip oh all right my fault and it wasn't the first time she's yelled at people in public it took the internet like half a day to get to the bottom of it oh that's too bad uh that's too bad you know what i mean you know it's weird about watching? As much as you watch it, you know nobody wants to do it.
No, that was not a fucking job. All right, let me read this here.
Go to the page. Go to the page.
That's what I sage. All right, here we go.
Is it going to come up for me? Viral video of meltdown over forehead. How exactly did they figure out who she was? How does the internet get to the bottom of all of this stuff? All right, here we go.
Recently, a viral video went viral. Having a meltdown over a forehead kiss.
Yeah, this all happened at santa monica restaurant it goes so far to believe that the women woman is something something it seems screaming oh jesus christ yeah come on man it's not enough it's not enough she made an ass of herself we gotta take it i don't know fucking know about this person. Feel bad for her.
I hope she turns her life around.

All right.

Update.

Great Barrier Reef.

It's time for another update.

Sounds like your skepticism of the reports that it ain't all that bad was warranted.

All right.

The Great Barrier Reef.

Yeah, this is more shit. I don't want to read about fucking people who've gone crazy doing porn,

and I don't read about the fucking Great Barrier Reef dying.

What are you guys doing to me?

I got another fucking 27 minutes to go.

Oh, my God.

Is this the...

Holy shit.

Okay.

Great Barrier Reef at terminal stage.

Scientists despair at latest coral bleaching data.

Australia's politicians has betrayed the reef, and only the people can save it well i should read this because maybe i don't know maybe they can turn it around because there are uplifting stories about nature out there you know where certain species are making a big comeback you know what i mean all right back to back severe bleaching events have affected two-thirds of australia's great barrier reef a new aerial survey have found the founding the findings have caused alarm among scientists who say the proximity of the 2016 and 2017 bleaching event is unprecedented for the reef and will give damaged coral little chance to recover um all right what site is this this is called the guardian you know what is their agenda yeah i mean you never know what the fucking believe here scientists with the australian research council center of excellence jesus christ take it down a little bit huh fucking arrogant bastards for coral reef studies last week compiled aerial surveys of the world's largest living structures scoring bleaching at 800 individual coral reefs across 8,000 kilometers. The results show the two consecutive mass bleaching events have affected 1,500 kilometers stretch, leaving only the reef's southern third unscathed.
Oh, boy. Oh, there you go.
You know what the deal is. We have to go.
A significant portion of us have to go you know maybe it's good that the robots come are they going to be electric robots are they going to require oil also but you know something all these fucking electric cars you know when you go to display when that tesla that giant tesla battery now what do they do with that when you're done with the car? What happens to that battery? I know the car constantly has updates. Does that also include the battery? Can you make the battery better? Let's look that up.
I bet there's a bunch of fucking oil companies putting some shit out, true or otherwise, about this. Tesla car footprint okay let's see the carbon footprint of tesla manufacturing tesla's electric cars aren't as green as you might think the electric cars aren't green yeah nothing is green nothing is green didn't doug stanow doug had a great joke.
He said, the greenest thing you can do is kill yourself. And I would go further if he didn't to say, and then have yourself buried in the topsoil so you fucking give it some nutrients.
Actually, we're also full of fucking God knows what. McDonald's and shit.
You'd probably cause the tree next to your body to die. Does the Tesla Model S electric car pollute more than an SUV? This is the green car report.
All right, let's see. Let's see.
Who's kidding who? The Tesla is not about being green. That's about going zero to 60 in 2.3 seconds.
Does the supposedly clean green Tesla Model S really pollute more than a gas guzzling Jeep Grand Cherokee sports utility vehicle? That's what one analyst has claimed. Now, what I love about this is everybody has a dog in the fight.
Obviously, the oil guys don't want you to switch over to the fucking electrical shit. And all the electric people, they are so convinced that batteries, you know.
Didn't Michael Jordan do a commercial a long time ago about recycling your batteries? Didn't he do that? You know, that's how I know about it, right? Because an athlete told me not to do it. What about that giant battery at the bottom of the Tesla? What do you do with that thing? What do you do with that when it's done? All right.
In an exhaustive 6,500-word on the financial website Seeking Alpha, analyst Nathan Weiss lays out a case model S that the case model S actually, okay, okay, we know what he said. He said it was worse.
As an S owner, I was shocked. For me, I just felt this is crazy.
Although the carbon emissions were not a big factor in my decision. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
Okay. Weiss has been advising his clients to short the stock of Tesla.
And it's... All right, not so fast.
Power plant emissions. All right, I'm not reading all this fucking shit.
You know what this is? This is just a media war right right now going on and i don't know where the fuck to get the facts and i'm not going to just look up the first goddamn thing and read it i have no idea you know but i can tell you this all right i know that guy that had a tesla has like ridiculous security around him because remember that guy who came up with the car that could drive across the country just on water? And then he went around and told people about it.

His last words when he walked out of the diner was, they poisoned me.

And then he died and then his car disappeared.

I know that sounds crazy, but that's a true fucking story.

It's a true story according to the internet.

All right, follow-up.

Girl who gave weed ultimatum.

I love the follow-ups, everybody.

This is like our own little mini-series here on the podcast. This is tremendous.
I'll give you that guy's name, too. You guys can look it up.
You guys let me know if you think this is fucking real or not. All right.
Water power car inventor vanishes. What is his name?

What's his name?

What's the name of the fucking water guy?

Yes, Stanley Myers, water fuel cell.

There you go.

Look that guy up.

Go down that fucking rabbit hole.

M-E-Y-E-R, I think is how you spell it, right?

Stanley. Stanley's are always fucking honest, aren't they? One of my favorite promoters around the country.
That's his first name, Stanley. Right as fucking rain.
All right, follow up to the girl who gave me the weed ultimatum. All right, for those of you who missed the podcast a couple times ago, there was this woman, this guy was dating.
You know, smoking weed around her she had problems with alcohol and shit and then one day i don't know she cleaned up and she just lashed out at him and said he needs to just totally quit smoking weed or you know it's either her or the weed all right so here we go it says yo brother bill on four three you responded to my email about the ultimatum my girlfriend gave me uh her versus weed uh my fucking computer's gonna die hang on i gotta hit pause i can't keep fucking yammering expect you guys to listen to this shit hold on all right i'm back i'm back i'm powered here i'm powered up here all right on 4-3 you responded to my email about the ultimatum my girlfriend gave me her versus weed either choose her or the weed man uh she has since admitted that she was being a cunt by giving me Yeah, dude, I don't even need to read this.

This woman is unstable.

She needs to get help.

And if I was you, I'd get out of this relationship.

But I'll read it for the entertainment value here. She stumbled into our apartment so drunk that she couldn't stand she was accompanied by another man oh bonus here we go the guy she was with happened to be the one guy that she swore she'd never talked to again because a couple months ago he sent her a 10 page email professing his love for her and trying to convince her that I'm an asshole and she should be with him.
Up until that point, they were friends that hung out on occasion, which I was okay with. Oh, Jesus.
But after he sent the love letter, which she read to me, she told me she would never speak to him again. Why did she read this to you? You didn't need to hear all of that.
Okay. Anyways, back to

the cup, a couple of days ago, we got in a fight and I said I was going to leave because of the bullshit weed ultimatum, but instead she left. What? Anyways, back to a couple of days ago.
So wait, when did she stumble in? This is like a fucking Tarantino movie. two days after she gave me

alright so I guess before this bullshit happened you said you were going to leave due to the fucking weed ultimatum is that what you're telling me but instead she left claiming she was spending the night at her sister's instead she went straight to this dude's place got shit-faced drunk drunk, went to a bar with him, then came back to our apartment.

Both of them.

She did not expect me to be home.

When she saw that I was there, he immediately walked out.

Oh, Jesus.

She was so drunk, she was unresponsible, so the fight didn't come until the next morning,

when she claimed that the only reason he walked in was probably because he was just making sure she got home safely. Oh, boy.
I told her that I'm done and that I'm moving back to my home state, seeing as she is the only reason I no longer live in my home state. Good, good move.
Good move, sir. Since this incident, she has been crying and begging for me to stay and wants to get married, etc.
Get the fuck out of claims that she has no interest in him and she was just mad at me and was under the impression that i had already packed my things and left and she just needed a friend at the moment those are all lies and this is the tip of the fucking iceberg sir that goes all the way down to the fucking ocean floor personally i don't think i can forgive her on or trust her but i need to make a decision and fast. Get the fuck out of there, sir, because I'm either going to tough this out and stay here.
Oh, Jesus, hoping this shit doesn't happen again, or I'm going to get the fuck out of Dodge and move back home and start over. Help me out, brother.
Should I stay or should I go? Your thoughts, thanks, and go fuck my life. No, not fuck your life.

If you stay, you're fucking your life.

Dude, get out of there.

Now that you just heard what you wrote out loud,

back by me reading it out loud,

which probably made no sense,

you realize how insane that is?

How insane it would be for you to do that?

I'm almost thinking, you know,

as much as she needs to get her life together, you need to look at yourself as to why you would stay with a person like this yeah you need to get the fuck out of there dude all right you still got your whole life ahead of you all right and as far as like marrying somebody you basically get one draft pick all right because when you get divorced your franchise gets cut in half and then you start drafting in the later rounds.

You know, you're getting older and shit. This is your number one draft pick.
This is what you're going to pick. This person with all the fucking problems they're having at the college level.
I'm telling you, get the fuck out of it. Right.
Dude. I mean, Jesus Christ.
if you don't believe me

go ask

tell Get the fuck out of it. Dude, I mean, Jesus Christ.
If you don't believe me, go ask, tell 20 strangers that fucking story. I swear to God, they're all going to say the same thing.
Get the fuck out of there. Go on, Dr.
Phil. You need to get the fuck out of Dodge.
He'd say the same thing. Actually, he probably wouldn't because she's a woman.
His audience is female. So he'd probably go, well, maybe if you smoked a little less weed and she tried to fuck a little less other people, maybe y'all could find a middle ground.
And all the women would be like, whoo, I inserted myself into that situation. All right, men going their own way.
You can go your own way. All right.
This is a fucking amazing thing. Okay, hey, yo, Billy boy, I was wondering if you were secretly behind this movement.
This is fucking crazy. This right here is, there's some movement evidently down in Australia, down in Aussie, down in Aussie, whatever the fuck they say.
I don't know what the fuck they say. I've only been there a couple of times.
Oh, the plug came undone. Was there a reason why they turned the plug into a magnet? You know, back when it plugged in, it did much better.
I guess it's easier to find. You know, it's got navigation kind of, and you can find the fucking hole, but it won't stay in there.
All right, there's a growing movement of men in Australia called Men Going Their Own Way. I just paused for all the guys listening to this with their girls so she could have time to roll their eyes and be like, oh, God.

All right.

M-G-T-O-W.

Mega cow.

It's an offshoot of the men's rights movement.

But rather than getting stuck in and tackling issues.

No, rather than getting stuck tackling issues.

These guys have vowed to stay away from women.

Stop dating.

And not have children.

Thank you. Rather than getting stuck tackling issues, these guys have vowed to stay away from women, stop dating, and not have children.
Jesus. Essentially, MGTOW is a statement about living your life rather than trying to make a woman happy.
Sorry, happy. Sorry, I screamed all my jokes last night.
Or being a slave to cultural expectations. One sw member says um this isn't about a specific rule book more a mindset although there are purists in the movement who are the most extreme and avoid women entirely there's a growing number of men who've had enough enough of the feminism and enough of being told they have to work for a greater good which doesn't actually exist.
Start looking into this manosphere and it's like going down a rabbit hole, this person says. Happiness here is supposedly freedom.
And shunning relationships is now sweeping through the younger generations. Is it? Or is this just a very interesting article? Okay, Tom 15 from NSW, North Southwest, whatever the fuck that is, is what you would call the growing number of teens going their own way.

Jesus, this kid never even got off the ground.

He goes, it's probably not true of all women, but I got the feeling that women are actually dangerous.

Maybe the men around me have just had bad experiences.

He tells the newswoman. He said, it's scary being a teenage boy.
I'm not sure how it all it's all meant to fit together in the future, says Tom. Last year, my uncle lost everything because his wife of 40 years decided she didn't love him anymore just like that she randomly got up and left it got nasty and he lost everything his house cars and loads of money there's no way i'm ever getting married well they i mean shit you saw a traumatic thing of course teenage boys look at other males in their life to gather some perspective i'm just going to read quotes because I'm not going to read all this.

My older brother who's 20 was dating a girl for a few months.

She turned real nasty in the breakup and made a string of allegations to the police that made me suspicious of women too.

My brother's a good guy.

Okay?

Why should she be able to just say what she wants,

accuse him of anything, and then get on with her life like that?

It doesn't seem fair to me. I'm not sure what rights i have maybe none okay both sexes okay it's crucial that we encourage our children find a mentor a teacher or some blah blah blah someone who supports communicate yeah about skills of getting a healthy relationship that's exactly what i was going to say what do What do you think? Are you just going to walk away from women? You know, you're never going to bang another one? Maybe just go on Tinder? Look, you can get a lot done not being in a relationship, male or female.
Just focus it on your fucking career. But, you know, if you want to be alone, that's fucking cool.
But to do it because of fear reasons is wrong. What you need to learn how to do is set up your relationship and how you set up a relationship is you have to you don't pretend to be something you're not and just tell them what the fuck you want from day one when she's going like do you watch sports all the time be like yeah i love them love them you know i like doing most when i do that i like drinking a beer and then going out smoking a cigar that's what i do hey sweetheart what do you do don't lie to me just tell me what you do and let's see if what you do mixes what what what i do because if we both start pretending that we don't do what we do eventually we're gonna go back to doing what we're're doing.
Oh my God, you changed. No, I didn't change.
I just started being myself for the first time around you. I didn't mention that I was into dog sleds.
Yeah. Well, I just figured during the first three months, I'd make you fall in love with me and then I would bring my 18 huskies into the Um, all right.
You're talking about a guy who's made every fucking possible mistake that you can make in a relationship. I've fucked up more goddamn relationships with great women.
I got to tell you something. Okay.
You know, I, I, I dated some great women and I, I fucked them all up. All right.
And it wasn't until I met my now wife, Not saying I didn't make a bunch of fucking mistakes after that, but I just met somebody that, uh, I don't know. I was in that part of my life where I could just be like, all right, this is what I do.
Is that what you do? Yeah. I never, you know, that's the one thing I am.
You're one of the few things I am proud of with all the relationships I've had with women is I've never liked, I never judged them as far as like whatever the fuck they were into, I didn't give a shit. You know, whatever you want to do, just, just fucking do it.
Cause I just looked at it like if I give you that sort of freedom, then you'll give it back to me. And if you don't, then I'm, I'm fucking out of here.
And what are you going to say? What are you going to say? That's the thing. That's my, you know, my friends come over here.
Jesus Christ, you're always fucking cleaning cleaning up the kitchen you're fucking doing all this type of shit around the house it's like yeah exactly it's the genius i earn a great living and then i come home and i fucking crush it so then when i'm gonna go out and go see my buddy play drums tonight what's my wife gonna say no why because you have a daughter ah shit you're right okay she got the daughter car now so what am i gonna do plus i fucking love my daughter so great coming home to her now that's the best it's the greatest thing ever the greatest thing ever she's not she slept through the night for the first time um of course, today I had to get up early and fly out,

so I missed the last three hours.

I think she slept.

She slept from like 10 to like 7 in the morning.

It was fucking unbelievable.

She's such a cute, happy, chill kid.

I'm so happy about that because I am a fucking lunatic.

She's not home right now. That's why I'm doing the podcast a little late too.
So she's out with her mother and that is my goal. You know, I don't know if we'll have another one.
I have no idea, but whatever kid or kids that I end up having, I want them to be happy, relaxed. I want them to feel like they can approach me.
They can ask questions. I am by no means going to be a pushover.
I'm not going to buy them a bunch of shit. I'm already against that.
Buying kids fucking toys before they're like three years old or two and a half is stupid. They don't even know what toys are.
Okay. They want to go out in the kitchen.
They want to play with pots and pans. You know, they want to play with your shoes.
They want to play with everything but toys. Toys actually bore them.
Okay. You get them some pots and pans.
It's over. They love them.
They like the noise. They like the handles.
They like making a fucking mess. It's great.
Um, but you know, I'm not going to be that fucking person buying, you know, 78 fucking iPads. Be funny.
My daughter's pissed at me in the future and she goes back and listens to this episode and is now playing it to me sometime in the future you know jesus oh that'd be a rough one anyways uh let's plow ahead let's get um yeah so i would say like that whole like men going their own way i don't know that's that's silly why would you do that you're 15 years old you're in the prime of your life you don't don't want to be in a relationship just be that guy who finger bangs chicks on the weekends you know and then on monday when you go to school and they're like hey you know like are we gonna do that again and be i you know if you want to hang out i mean i'm kind of doing and then when they fucking go like so what's your deal you're just gonna finger me and it's just like what you didn't enjoy it you act like I did something bad, you know? I just don't want to be in a relationship right now. I'm young.
You know? And they called it finger banging. Do, do, do, do, do.
All right, girlfriend spiked my drink. Jesus Christ.
You know what's funny? If I said that in front of a crowd, everyone would laugh. If it's the other way around, everybody gasps.
What'd she do? Spike your drink and fucking take your wallet? That's how a woman rapes a man. All right.
Hey, Bill, a couple months ago, I went to a party. I went to a garden party to reminisce with my old friends a couple months ago that was Ricky Nelson everybody if you didn't recognize it um a couple months ago I went to a party with a few friends among them was the girl that would become my current girlfriend I had a few drinks but was shocked to see just how drunk they got me I don't remember the entire night because I was so drunk.

You know, some of these are so fucking over the top.

I just can't believe.

Don't even tell me then you ended up with this person.

I'm supposed to believe this.

I went to the bathroom twice because I felt I was going to throw up.

Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she and her friends had spiked my beer with shots of vodka.

All right, that's not so bad. That's some college shit.
You didn't taste it? She thought it was a funny prank until I clearly expressed how fucked up that I was. She apologized and all that, saying she never wanted to hurt me, but I'm thinking this is breakup worthy.
Most of my friends and family agree I should leave. This isn't the only issue in in our relationship and i'm thinking red flags of this caliber are too large to ignore should i walk away well dude you only gave me one piece of the puzzle there you know if she was drunk and she was in a silly mood with her friends and they fucking did that um i don't know but like it seems like there's a bunch of other shit that she's doing and uh you already seem convinced that you should fucking walk so i don't know what the other stuff is so i can't give you advice on that one sir i don't have i'm a hung jury on this one i need i need more information and don't know what to tell you um so i don't know if that's the only one that you were going to tell me i mean that's not a great way to start a relationship it is kind of funny though i don't know i'm kind of an alky so in a way that's my dream girl you know at some point you also got to admit that you know she did buy a couple of shots that night didn't she you just didn't know.
I'm kind of an Elky, so in a way that's my dream girl. Do you know? At some point, you also got to admit that she did buy a couple of shots that night, didn't she?

You just didn't know it?

Alright. I'm taping a lot of shit on MeTV.

For MeTV!

Taping a couple episodes of...

What the fuck's the name of that show?

What's the name of the show Valerie Bertinelli was in

with the red headed lady

and then the other chick

and then Schneider next door

what the fuck was the name of that show

not the apartment

not the odd couple

not three chicks

and a janitor

what the fuck was the name of that show

S.E.H. Schneider

Thank you. not three chicks and a janitor what the fuck was the name of that shot god sch schneider sitcom let's see what we got what do we got one day at a time one day at a time i taped a couple episodes of that and then an episode of alice i don't even remember how those fucking theme songs went.
Do you guys remember those ones?

Day at a time.

Theme.

It's called This Is It? Get the fuck out of here.

What happened in my memory?

See if I remember this.

This is it. This is it.
yeah I used to have such a crush in Valerie Bertinelli but they were so fucking broke that's what all these fucking 70s sitcoms were about they were just fucking broke people. I guess it was reflecting the economy

at the time.

You know?

Like Alice was like, you know, divorced,

driving this piece of shit to Phoenix.

Remember that?

Ford LTD station wagon?

Yeah.

Used to be shy.

Funniest

thing was sad.

Just proud of the time.

Never knew why.

We'll be right back. used to be shy funniest thing the saddest pounds I never knew why oh that cannot be the real fucking song that was fucking horrible singing that's what happens when we let the star of the show sing it did she sing that fucking thing you know what I can actually block out the singing to listen to the old studio musicians.
That's what I miss because now it's just some asshole with the fucking laptop and the keyboard. Those are all individual people playing all those instruments.
I had to take off and stop enjoying because life's too short. There's a new bitch in town and she's feeling good.

Got divorced, got the station wagon, and I'm in a new neighborhood.

Remember that kid who played Tommy?

He was fucking adorable. And then between season five and season six, he grew like three feet.

And that includes his teeth. All of a sudden he had these fucking horse teeth.
He was fucking gigantic. He looked like he went from fucking being her kid to being a walk-on for the Phoenix Suns.
Anyways, that's the podcast for this Monday. I want to thank everybody that came out.
Two shows at the Majestic Theater on a Sunday night. I know all you guys had to go to work the next day.
I had such a great time. San Antonio is great.
Oh, I didn't talk about it. I went to the Spurs game.
Went to the Spurs. The Spurs fucking against the LA Clippers.
Great game. Fucking amazing fans.
Very, very knowledgeable of the game. i got to see their five championship trophies they got them right out there where you can see them took a picture and all that shit was great and um but i gotta tell you something if you want to win some free shit go to a spurs game i've never seen so much free shit given out in my life first of all they had this coyote in a mask and a a guy in a coyote mascot costume and like 19 times during the game he stole the the vendor's cotton candy and they would play the benny hill song and the vendor would sort of mock chase him around as the thing was fucking throwing free cotton candy all over the place they did that like 10 fucking times which made me immediately think like they ordered too much cotton candy this month it's going bad let's just get rid of this shit so we don't have to throw it out we'll also look like you know like we're good guys for giving it away they had cookies coming down from the ceiling in parachutes you know they would just float down people jumping up for fucking cookies they drag some guy out of the fucking crowd and put a put a couch that you could recline in and they put it at the foul line they're like if you can sit down and you can fucking sink this foul shot we're gonna give you this couch the next thing you know i can you like you forget about the game there's so much shit going on i'm rooting for this fucking couch potato to win a new fucking couch to slowly die on you know shoots the first one oh the next one rims out oh and then he hits it everybody's like he's freaking out he's jumping up and down his man tits flopping all over the place and then they just drag this leather porn couch off yeah you fucking want it you want it all right and then you're looking up at the scoreboard like oh wait a minute i'm watching the fucking spurs they're playing the clippers that's what's happening here this is a critical part of the game there's a timeout now i'm watching awkward dads dancing who's the best awkward dad dancing other Other than that, it was fucking great.

I really enjoyed it.

And that was franchise number 118 that I've seen.

I know I'm getting like the Rain Man with this.

I got eight left until the next season, you know, when the L.A. Chargers and the Vegas Knights start.

But I plan on knocking those guys out early.

Early.

I might even go to that first Chargers game just for them having the audacity to fucking move on me you know as of right now in this moment i've seen every team fucking west of the mississippi from fucking as far south as san antonio as far north as edmonton and these two cunts are going to come along and fuck the whole thing up for me i will not tolerate that i will avoid family. I will take a trip and I will go see both of these.
Fuck why don't take a trip for San Diego. I sound like a crazy person.
Go fuck yourselves. Thank you for listening.
And I'll

check in on you on Thursday. Thank you.
We'll see you next time.