Man About Town, Strip Clubs, Wallet Protests | Monday Morning Podcast 4-7-25

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, April 7th, 2025.
What's going on? How are ya? How's it going? April 7th. Jesus Christ, did March Madness already come and go? I know.
Did the championship game happen? Is it going to rain today oh fucking billy old man has no idea what's going on my fucking cable went out and you know they got a number and they got a website and i'm old i'm like i'm not fucking doing that i'm not doing i'm not fucking gonna get on the phone you know what do they have like three people answering the phone now because they just want you to go to the website so they can fire those fucking people. And then I have to go onto the fucking website and talk to a fucking robot, you know, so I can watch, you know, an episode of Kojak.
I just, forget it. Forget it.
I'm one of those people. I just, is there a line to this thing that I want?

Forget it.

I don't want to go anymore.

I'm not doing that.

I don't know what I'm going to go do now.

It's probably just as big a waste of time,

but at least I'm not standing in a line for it.

Anyway,

oh,

Billy Broadway.

I went out and I saw an amazing play today

because I'm off on Sunday.

That's a cool thing. Everybody else is like Tuesday through Sunday, but we're Monday through say, as they used to say back in Boston, say, come by Tuesday through fucking say.
We'll figure it out, dude. I saw Good Night and Good Luck that stars George Clooney and a friend of mine, Alana Glazer, who's in it.
Character's name is Shirley. And oh my God, it was, first of all, the fucking set was insane.
I was just looking at the amount of people that are in the cast, the amount of movement with the set and everything. I was talking to one of the actors afterward, and I was like, how long did it take? And they were like, we were doing 14-hour days every day in March.
And oh my God. And it was seamless.
I didn't notice anybody drop a line. It was amazing.
It's the story of Edward R. Murrow when he was going up against that senator there during the Red Scare.

I always remember Edward R. Murrow and I always forget the fucking guy's name.
Joe McCarthy was accusing everybody of being a communist. I don't know what he was doing.
He was just a fucking weirdo. But anyways, it's the whole story of that and how Edward R.
Murrow was instrumental in bringing this guy down as he was out there ruining people's lives. This fat, ugly guy from Wisconsin just decided he was going to conduct an independent investigation like jim ursay and just start accusing people of shit and um i don't know anyway but like i don't want to ruin it if you're gonna go see it but like they had a live band there the saxophone player and the singer was fucking incredible was fucking incredible it was an absolutely gorgeous production and everybody everybody killed it and uh if you get a chance definitely go uh definitely go check it out i've been all billy about town i'm a man about town i did my show saturday night and uh one of the cast members said, hey man, I got an extra ticket.
You want to come up to SNL, watch Jack Black? I'm a man about town. I did my show Saturday night and one of the cast members said, hey, man, I got an extra ticket.

You want to come up to SNL, watch Jack Black?

I'm like, absolutely I do.

I got to sit in the crowd, watch him absolutely kill it. and uh and then the musical guest was elton john with brandy carlisle who is just an absolute

10 out of 10 rock star.

Looks cool, sings like you'd never heard and plays guitar.

Just everything.

She total package.

And Chad Smith was on drums and he was murdering it. And and then the sketches were great.
My personal favorite was they did a sketch about the first time there was ever a play and the people in the crowd didn't understand what was happening, that it was pretend. So they were reacting to everything and yelling out.
And it was also sort of like the first hecklers or whatever.

So just as a stand-up comedian, watching that sketch, I was sitting there like, I've been in front of this crowd.

We're like, oh my God, you'd just be on stage and be like, you know, I was walking down the street and I went into this store.

And then there'd just be someone up front where like only you could hear them and the people immediately around him but no one else in the crowd and they'd be like why'd you do that you have to ignore it and you keep fucking going and then finally you fucking snap on him and 90 of the crowd was like why did he just yell at that person i i mean everyone was just sitting here listening is he having like a you know a shit fit like what's going on here so um anyway uh i went to go see that and uh jack black is just he's just a tour de force like the energy that that guy brings and uh it was awesome he came running up into the crowd which reminded me

of sam kinnison's first time he did letterman where he just ran up there he ran up into the

crowd and went by a bunch of people he went by in my row and everything it was just it was so

freaking cool and um what else was awesome on that uh god damn it this stupid phone um

Thank you. what else was awesome on that uh god damn it this stupid phone um um oh also yeah the weekend update uh marcelo hernandez crushed it and then ego did this just amazing uh impression of a bad comedian and I was talking to my buddy.
I was there with going like, she just like killed doing like on purpose bad stand up, making fun of bad stand up. It's like, and it was written like perfectly to the point.
You're like, I've seen this act. I've had to go on after this act um just you know if you missed it it's just one of those things where you just like what i don't know i i can't do it like there's no way i could have ever written it but she absolutely murdered um and then the weekend update uh you know all the jokes that uh they were doing were all fucking great and what was cool was just watching all of it and just being like this is great this is still like human beings doing all of this and they're all working together and seeing all the cameras going around and uh you know creativity human creativity being alive entertaining.
It was fucking awesome. And then I was just thinking, uh, you know, that there's like these nerds out there, like the Tesla guy and that fucking jerk off who put the plastic on the apples, Bill Gates, but is somehow still considered a philanthropist.
They're just deciding that these fucking robots are coming. And it's just like, why? Because you don't want to pay anybody? I don't know.
Just know this. They keep going, you know, with AI technology.
They're acting like all of that's your friend. It's not for you.
It isn't for you.

It's for them.

Yeah, they're going to make human beings like DVDs.

They're going to be like DVDs.

And the next technology comes along.

And then that's just going to be it. And they're going to be sitting there.

You know, I like you.

I'd give you a job.

But at the end of the day, you're human. And and you need to sleep and i could just hire this robot and you know and it'll work like fucking 24 hours and blow me and i don't have to have a case you know well you know the cops aren't showing up it's my robot um yeah it's fucking wild I'll tell you what's I you know I don't watch the news but you know it's hard to avoid you know with all this tariff stuff going on um this is gonna be fucking wild like Trump is literally gonna bring democrats and republicans together

simply because all of those fucking washington politicians all they give a fuck about is their

insider trading on the stock market and the tariffs are tanking the stock market so both

republicans and democrats are fucking losing their ass like everybody else um he might actually

Oh, my God. market so both republicans and democrats are fucking losing their ass like everybody else um he might actually bring them together

hey i'll tell you it's been a heck of a fucking two months jesus fucking christ

jesus fucking christ uh maybe the nazi can it out. Maybe he can fucking, you know.
Oh, what a time. What a time to be alive there.
Anyway, I watched that next MotoGP. I watched the one from Austin.
And Mark Marquez crashed. Got a little too aggressive on lap 12 and then Alex ended up going on to win Pecco came in second and now all of a sudden because Alex has been I think second place I think him and Mark have been first and second place in every sprint, every race.
So by Mark not finishing the race and Alex winning the race, he's now the points leader. Alex is by a couple of points or whatever, but it just looks like, I mean, I don't think anybody's going to catch Mark all year um i don't know what these guys need to do but like it's a game game set match him on the factory ducati and as they always say like how he can just break so late and how one he is with the motorcycle i mean these guys can't they can't even keep up with them it's like they go around the track six seven times and he has like a fucking three second lead um and he's just cruising around um it's exciting to see him back but uh you know somebody's got to be the david zioso like when i first started watching the races, like hopefully Alex can do it.
They can have like a little back and forth. I know Pecco tried something in one of the sprints where he got super aggressive and just sort of took off and tried to establish himself in the beginning, which he did, but it only lasted for half a lap.
And then Mark was back in the front again. But I guess that that's the excitement for the rest of the season is going to be watching these other teams trying to solve the Mark Marquez problem.
That's going to be a hell of a fucking job to try to pull that off. Anyway, here's a fucking story for you right how new york city makes you like mutter to yourself i can't believe i said this but like i was coming out of a coffee shop and there was this woman on her way in so i opened the door and i stopped to let her in and then she was telling me to go and i'm like no you go and she's telling me to go and it's like i'm the fucking man men hold the door for ladies right so finally she gives in and she goes and she said thanks and i said you're welcome and i walked away and i muttered you're not not going to out gentleman me.
And then I said, after you, bitch. I just I don't she just kept fucking telling me to go.
And it was just driving me up the fuck. Maybe that's how women feel.
They feel that way. I thought like holding the door for women was nice maybe i'm behind the curb am i fucking uh is being a gentleman now fucking toxic am i trying to am i suggesting that she can't hold a fucking door or am i really mad about something else and it just i got upset about that but i'll tell you it legit upset me how long i had to fucking stand there.
You know the rules. I'm the guy.
Come on in. Fucking hell.
Fucking waiting for me like I'm wearing a dress. Oh, man, I'll tell you.
I'll tell you, trying to be a gentleman out there. I'll tell you, it ain't easy.
It ain't easy. So, anyway.
There was that but uh on the on a positive side um I feel like we had like one of our best shows twice this week um I forget when what day the first one was but the second second show Saturday night was fucking amazing. It was fucking amazing.
And I don't know. It's been getting like I'm getting really comfortable with what I'm saying up there.
And it's funny, like I've been trying new things. And I find when I try new things and I change the cadence, I can lose my place a little bit.
But, you know, Michael McKeon's always there to get me back on track. I'm going to tell you the funny stories about how Michael has gotten me back on track after this fucking thing is over.
At some point, because he is just a gem. Like, what I say, I always joke, like, the monologue that I do, not monologue, my bullshit that I'm saying.
It's like you do two donuts in the parking lot before you leave. And in those two donuts, if you're not fucking paying attention, if your mind drips, you forget where the fuck you are.
And that's happened to me. We've done this show 32 times.
It's happened to me twice. And it's fucking hilarious.
And we always somehow get out out of it but Michael just knows how to like it's like he's like the dad teaching me how to ride a bike and he's just starting to let go and I'm starting to tip over and he gets me back up again so but it's I it's so, it's, I can't even tell, it's fucking thrilling when I, as much as I don't want it to happen, it's like, you're just sort of flying by the seat of your pants, trying to get back to it, it's fucking exhilarating, it's like a rush, this, this, like, what have I done to this scene how the fuck do we get this back on course really wild so i ran into somebody last night who had sang in i think chicago and she was telling me story that she was up there singing this song that she had sung through the whole fucking run of the play and she had it down and i don't know she just goes I just came for the next verse and I just blanked and so she started singing like she said it sounded like she was singing in a different language and then she tried to like go be like Michael Winslow and like make like sounds like her mic was cutting in and out and all of that and she was so embarrassed and what was funny was nobody noticed because I think there was other people singing. But I have to tell you something.
Losing your fucking place in the middle of a Broadway play is as fucking hilarious as bombing as a comedian. There's just something fucking...
It's fucking hilarious and the other actors are backstage fucking laughing.'s just it's so much fun it's so much fucking fun i can't i can't i cannot i can't overstate how much fun it is and then the nights you know the rest of the nights have all gone great and um it's not getting old man i'm just enjoying it because um the people i'm working

with are just trying new stuff and there's new laughs and everybody's excited like oh what was that what did he do you know is that going to become part of it now or is that just was that just a one-off it's really fucking cool so um today is sunday when i'm uh I'm recording this.

And this is my day off.

This is me not doing shit.

I still record a podcast.

But anyway, I went to that play.

I didn't do shit today.

Had two cups of coffee, which I usually don't do.

I'm usually the one cup of coffee.

But I stayed up late last night.

I didn't get a lot of sleep.

I forgot to close the fucking curtains.

So I woke up with the sun and I just had a cup of coffee.

And I went over to my big gay gym with all the fellas.

And they're all fucking shredded, you know. So I go over there and they're motivating me to try and keep up.
And I've just decided I'm fucking going over there every goddamn day, even when I don't want to. Went over there today, legs and eggs.
Legs and eggs. Remember that? The foxy lady.
Anybody from Providence, Rhode Island, you remember those commercials when they would whisper on the radio? Like if you were sitting next to your girlfriend or your wife, she couldn't hear it. It's like, hey guys, come on down to the Foxy Lady for breakfast for legs and eggs, legs and eggs breakfast on Thursday.
Who the fuck wants to eat runny eggs while looking at some fucking dancer's clam i mean i just it's

you don't combine those things you do not have food at a titty bar maybe a maybe a titty bar

but if they're going full nude all right if they're going full fucking nude like you can't

you just you can't eat there.

The closest I've ever gone to eating anything in a titty bar was Hooters.

That was it.

That's the closest I've ever come.

There's no fucking way.

I have been in, way back in the day,

I don't think I have been in a fucking titty bar. In 20 years.
Oh my God. This is crazy.
You know one of the last ones I went in. I was in Dallas.
This is how long ago. This was in 2004.
I was on the road with uh Charlie Murphy rest his soul and Don L Rawlings we were doing the Chappelle show rich bitch tour and we went to Dallas and uh Vinnie Paul came out he was just um oh yeah he had started damage plan. I'm not going to get into that.
Um, all the sadness of that, but it was before all that horrible tragedy happened. So I met him, he came up to me.
It was funny. He was looking at me like, do you know who I am? It's like, who the fuck doesn't know who this guy is? I mean looks like him nobody played like him um I just loved his feel his groove just incredible and he's like hey man you know I'm selling like dvds and like he was looking like hey man like Vinnie Paul I'm like dude I know who the fuck you are I have you on the cover of Modern Drummer Magazine I I know who you are.
I can't believe I'm meeting you. You're an incredible, and we just hit it off.
And he's like, you know, I got a club if you guys want to come out. All right, let's come out.
And he owned a strip club. And I went to this titty bar, and I sat down, I swear to God, rest his soul, with one of the greatest drummers of an entire era, vinnie paul and we sat in that titty bar and talked about alex van halen and and vinnie brought him up because i said to him i go all right most underrated drummer of our generation he goes and maybe i didn't say underrated i said favorite and he was naming his favorites and he goes he goes oh and also alex van halen i go dude the originality of alex van halen's drum parts, you know, are unique so next level the sound of his snare he had his own voice he just um like you know one of the coolest fucking things ever is when you listen to that song jump and as it's fading out alex plays like this little lick um on the on the double base as he's fading out.
Alex plays like this little lick on the double bass as he's going out. Forget about that mind twister during that part where David's going, can't you see me standing there? I got my back against the record machine.
That fucking linear syncopated fucking do I lead with my right or left hand thing that he was doing the end of the song he does this double bass thing that almost sounds like Stuart Copeland's snare thing that Phil that he does on uh every little thing is every little thing she does is magic he was doing something like that with his feet on the way out I never like I had to like try and write it out. To figure out what he was doing.
And he just threw that in. On like a pop song.
Like as they were like writing out. And it's just like.
He just did that off the top of his head. It feels that way when you listen to it.
So anyway. I was in this.
Titty bar in Dallas. Just talking to Vinnie Paulul just talking i was talking drums and he was talking comedy he was asking me about comedians and i was asking him about drummers and um at no point did either one of us eat any food i don't remember if he served food in that place but i think that was one of the last times yeah that was one of the last times i ever i i went to one of those things how the fuck did i get on the subject of that i don't even remember but um anyway plowing ahead here um yeah so i've been going to the gym let's get back onto that I've been going to the gym, and I've been doing the protein and everything,

and then I've also been doing the cardio on the days where I'm not doing legs

or what you call it, the upper body or whatever.

I'll tell you this right now, gay guys do not skip legs.

They do not skip leg day.

Jesus Christ.

Fucking wall-to-wall dudes in the fucking leg room all day long all fucking day long every gym like wherever the benches are and you know curling and all that there's always a bunch of fucking guys standing there but these fucking dudes they they they get in they get in the fucking leg day it's actually really frustrating because I go there and it's just like, oh my God, every fucking machine is taken. And you know what's the worst now? Is now that there's the fucking iPhone.
You know, those people who do a set and then they sit there like drooling out of their mouth, staring at their phone, thinking they're taking a minute, 90-second break. And it's like, bro, you were just looking at your phone for like six minutes.
There was this fucking guy, leg day. And he was on the, that one where you sit down, it's for the back of your legs, right? The sitting down one, right? He was on that one, so I was on the other one that was for the front of the legs.
I sat down next to him, I'm thinking like, all right, he's already been here, so he's probably gonna do three sets, so right as I'm wrapping up with mine, I can transition over, I can fucking do that, and I'm fine, right? I did three sets on mine, he's staring at his fucking phone. I go over, I do the leg press, he's still on the fucking thing.
Then I went over. I did another machine.
And he was still on the machine. Like, because he was staring at his phone so fucking long in between sets.
You just want to be like, dude, you're not fucking working out. I mean, I guess you are.
But you're also on your phone. I don't know.

So whatever.

I did legs today, and I'm on this machine,

and this guy came over to me.

He goes, how many more sets do you have?

I said, I got one.

I'll be out of here in a second.

So I knocked out the set,

and then I'm going over to wipe the machine off.

My stuff is laying on the floor next to it.

This fucking asshole's getting on the leg machine.

And I just look at it. I go, can I get my stuff? Oh, yeah, yeah.
Sorry. Sorry.
None of this shit really bothers me. I just miss my family.
And their spring break is coming up. So I got to see them soon.
Because that's the only thing. I'm going out of my mind with that.
I FaceTime with them all the time and everything, but it just doesn't replace hugging them. So I got to have that happen.
I'm fucking getting upset with people that are saying, no, no, after you at a goddamn cafe, coffee bar, whatever the fuck you call it. All right, let's do some reads here for the week.
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I've almost read the title of the first question that we have here.

Whorehouse in Major League Ballpark.

What?

They have a brothel?

All right, before we get into this, if I had to guess which baseball team would have a fucking whorehouse.

I mean, you got to go Atlanta.

That's a big strip club.

Miami.

Tampa.

Oh, I think is Tampa the winner?

Wait a minute.

Boy, I'm going around the league. Arizona.
i don't know they're a little conservative i'm gonna go with tampa long time billy baseball long time fan and listener a few months ago you joked how the major league how major league baseball might need to get creative with what amenities they offer at the ballpark to keep fans interested in attending games. You joke that maybe the ownership should consider having strip clubs in the stadium.
Well, that might not be too far-fetched here in Kansas City, as talks of building a new ballpark for the Royals are starting to get heated. Dude, they're not going to put a titty bar isn't like an anchor store for a ball but where they're already in gambling dude did the mafia take over fucking baseball what are they going to do next having umpires unloading trucks down on the wharfs collecting money from union guys um before i get into it i need to explain that people don't realize the majority of our city is located in missouri where both the royals and chiefs currently reside yes uh yeah there's kansas city missouri and kansas city kansas um that's important to this this situation and leading to some hilarious stadium proposals as Missouri and Kansas officials compete to land the teams.
I've got to be honest with you. Arrowhead Stadium and Kauffman Stadium, I don't know if they still call it that, where the Royals play.
They're both next to each other. There's nothing else like that anymore as far as the era of when those things were built.
The Royals during the cookie-cutter baseball stadium era. The only other one left, I think, is the Dodgers.
And then Arrowhead. I mean, I believe that goes back to the end of Len Dawson's career.
I think that thing has been around since 1970 or 71, possibly before or a little after. But anyway, one proposed location is in the heart of downtown Kansas City, Missouri, but would require displacing many local businesses, which obviously pissed off a lot of people.
In a desperation move to make this location work, city officials and the royals are suggesting they'd offer space in the stadium for displaced businesses. One business is the totally nude strip club.
I guess it would move into the stadium too. Obviously this shit isn isn't being completely thought through, but it's hilarious.
Just want to let you know that your joke might become a reality and wanted to hear your take on these millionaire cunts asking for taxpayer handouts to build their stadiums to profit even more millions using threats of leaving to get their way. Yeah, that whole fucking thing where it's like,

if this city doesn't pay for a new stadium,

how do owners get away with that?

It's like, you guys are multi-fucking millionaires.

Multi-millionaires, if not billionaires,

whatever the fucking royals are worth, right?

Pay for your own fucking stadium. Why do mean like i remember indianapolis now you guys all know i hate the fucking colts but i'm a man of the people the fact that the people in indianapolis hadn't even paid off the rca dome and then lucas oilfield is already built it's just it's unreal it goes back to the banks when they're like we're too big to fail it's like no you're not let him fail start over again it's this toxic fucking relationship um i don't know how that started that all of a sudden the the city had to pay for it but i have to be honest it was such an easy sell because every meathead was excited to sit in a new sports meathead was excited to sit in a new stadium like dude that would be great we get a fucking amazing stadium like the so-and-so's like whatever team you play but you were jealous of their venue um yeah 100 think that's bullshit they should they should pay for it themselves all the money they're making um near death pilot story oh no i don't want to hear this hey billy bad bottom base uh i'm canadian and have a commercial pilot's license and a multi-engine instrument rating and have a great story for you well you're the real deal dude um when i finished my license licenses i was time building an additional 50 hours to get a multi-crew rating, which is called an I-A-T-R-A.

That's so funny.

Multi-crew.

And then the acronym does not have an M or a C in it.

And I was doing a solo cross country in a Cessna 172 about 50 nautical miles west of my home airport at the time. Saskatoon, Saskatchewan, CYXE in your playbooks, I mean programs.
I was doing a touch and go at this airport and was going to head east back towards Saskatoon. As I was in the climb out of the touch and go,

I was around 1,000 feet AGL,

heading east and I started feeling tingly.

Oh my God, and my vision was getting blurry.

I sat up and thought maybe I just needed a little snack

when I got it up to cruise. Next thing I knew no, my vision tunnels.
Oh my God. Dude, my palms are getting sweaty.
And goes completely black and I heard myself say out loud, I can't fucking see right now.

Holy shit. Remember that at this point, I'm in full power climb and heading eastbound.
Okay, I don't know a lot about planes, but if you can't see anything, you can't look at your instruments, you don't have it on autopilot. so if you were to somehow

you know, the wind changes and whatever input you had when you last could see changes, you could end up in either a dive or a fucking too steep of a climb install it oh my god oh my god a couple seconds later i woke up nose pointed west and almost straight down about 190 knots with full power still in. Fuck.
Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
And you were eastbound flying away, so now you're headed back towards the airport and somebody else could be taken off on the same runway. A couple seconds later, I...
Okay, I... I ripped the power out and tried to pull out as gently as possible so i didn't rip the fucking wings off you didn't say fucking i added that as i was well above the maneuvering speed of the aircraft oh my god luckily i pulled out and i was below grain silos.
Oh, my God. 40 to 50 feet above ground level.
And the training fully kicked in. I made my radio call that I was making a left downwind and coming in for a landing.
Climbed up to circuit altitude. I guess that's flight pattern altitude and came around to land oh my god how long did that feel that was about as close to a mushroom experience as i have ever had without the mushrooms changed my life and i feel gratitude every day dude how do you still have a license what was the medical reason for it you have a commercial license you're flying passengers and so there you go bill that's my story would love to see you get into fixed a fixed wing and get a nice little plane check out a diamond da62 that's always been my lottery plane yeah um i would love to get a fixed wing i just you know my kids are little i have to be there for them and i'm an old dad and by the time they're out of the house and i would have the time to go for a license i just um i'd just be i'll be too old to fly you know i'm not gonna be one of these guys that flies until he's 80 um you know the second i feel like i'm old i'm i'm gonna bow out you know um i absolutely um love it and you know a couple nights ago uh one of the cast members john had a bunch of friends come down and there was this whole family of aviators that didn't just fly privately.
They all would join the Air Force and learn how to fly and they were just telling me stories and stories and stories and I was telling some helicopter stuff and we were like, you know, it's always funny when a fixed wing talks to like a helicopter pilot and uh you know fixed wing guys get fucking freaked out with when they hear about auto rotations what you have to do which i totally get because it's like if the engine quits in a plane you're still flying a helicopter the engine quits You have to do something really quickly so you're still descending, you know, in a way that, you know. The RPMs don't drop to a point where you can't recover them, basically.
But what always scares the shit out of me about a plane is how fast it goes when you're, it still has to be going when the wheels hit the ground. 50, 60 knots.
And dude, you are in a fucking golf cart. And if you land in a field, all it takes is a rock or a stump and you are cartwheeling in this fucking thing and you might as well be in a 1940s jalopy.
Anything on the other side of the dashboard is coming right into your fucking chest. It's going to be a shit show.
So what I do like about helicopters is with the auto rotation is right at the end, when you enter your flare, you bleed off all that forward airspeed, all of that airspeed that makes your brain slam into the inside of your skull and fucking kill you. Yeah, that's, you is is it's not for the weak like stuff can happen but anyway so we were just comparing notes about that and um i don't know i always like talking to pilots because they just did they're just like these dialed in they're fucking dialed in um I remember the few race car drivers I've met.
It's the same thing. They're just like, they're talking to you and they're already like, their energy that they vibrate with.
It's like they're fucking, you know, top of the food chain focus. It's incredible.
I'm not talking about a jerk off like me who just has a private pilot's license and flies for fun i mean like professional pilots race car drivers motorcycle guys it's really amazing to be around um anyway all right next question okay this says wallet protest um and for some reason it scrolled back up to whorehouse and baseball. Okay, wallet protest.
Wallet protest. All right, let's read.
All right, so this person goes to right. And of course it goes back up to whorehouse.
This iPhone really wants me to read that again. All right, wallet protest.
Billy, the reason so many companies, companies, conglomerates and politicians are able to get away with everything is because most people don't really give a fuck. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah.
You know what? I tip my cap to you i think i think you hit the nail right on the head and he said and if you continue to go back to this rule you can find peace knowing that that that majority of people don't give a fuck this is including the people who claim to give a fuck and shout about it every day up to the point where many make it their personality. Yeah, I know, but they don't go to a protest.
You know, they're not all in. Like Luigi, the only people who protest matters, the only people whose protest matters isn't from the loudest assholes.
It's the ones who vote.

It's the one who votes with their time and money.

Example.

This says, fuck Jeff Bezos and Amazon for destroying middle class

consumer businesses. Also the same person.

I just ordered something from Amazon. Oh, I see what you're saying.
Oh yeah. It's okay.
The only people who protest matters isn't, isn't from the loudest assholes. It's the one who votes with their time and money.
So he's saying by patronizing Amazon that someone can say, Hey man, fuck this Jeff Bezos and Amazon for destroying middle class consumer businesses. Also the same person.
I just ordered some things from Amazon. That person, who may include you, it absolutely does.
I apologize as a moron. Yes, you're right.
I try to buy as much as I can from store.

And at this point, like, I even think going to a fucking box store is better than doing business with these online guys like Amazon. But I will tell you, though, the Internet is so full of fucking lies.
Like, I remember I wanted to I was trying to find this store. I needed a tie.
so I was trying to find Prada

and it showed me Prada

on 5th Avenue Like I remember I wanted to, I was trying to find this store. I needed a tie.
So I was trying to find Prada. And it showed me Prada on Fifth Avenue.
So I go to the Prada store and it wasn't Prada. It was Saks Fifth Avenue that had a little section of Prada.
So, you know, I'm trying to find like cell phone case stores or whatever. There's just a bunch of shit that just doesn't exist anymore sometimes when you even like try there was something else my wife there was this fancy lotion that she wanted and she was coming to town and i was like i'll get you some i'll go you know you know send me the picture i'll go get you some and i googled where it was and it was right near my um where we were rehearsing for the play and i was like where to buy to buy such and such facial cleanser or something.
And I ended up, yeah, where to buy it. And I ended up going to the address.
And it was the offices of that company. And you couldn't buy anything there.
And I Googled search where to buy it so that's another thing it is a pain in the ass but i know what you're saying example another example climate change is going to destroy us also the same person i fly around in planes and support every war sold to me by the energy and military conglomerates which cause harm in the environment than several generations of mouth breathers put together. Okay, I agree with all of this.
I'm hoping you're going to give us a solution here. At this point, everyone showboating their concern is doing it for their own ego.
I also think for their guilt. Remember there was like that thing that liberals were doing, always talking about wanting to be on the right side of history.
Remember they kept saying that and not being tone deaf and all that. And what they really would just do, just, yeah, prancing around.
Prancing around like Freddie Mercury. They don't really care.
People who volunteer to feed others, donate their time to clean beaches and read actual books on subjects are the ones who care I mean guys out of all the people that have ever written into this podcast and he's criticizing a lot of shit that I do this guy guy, this lady, is 100% right.

This person says, yeah,

subjects, read actual books on subjects are the ones who care,

not the ones who are triggered

by something on Instagram

that supports their already present anger

about someone or some topic.

Oh, man, I mean, that was just... Oh, so so wallet protests you can protest with your wallet i'm i want to thank you for saying all that stuff i i learned something in that and uh i hope other people did too yeah i try to um as much as i can i mean i'm not a big chain guy as far as uh going to stores i like to try to go to the mom and pop places but even then i think i kind of do that selfishly because it's just like i lose my mind if every fucking town i went to i went to the steak and shake of the applebee's i would lose my mind so i do try to patronize these businesses but you know it know, it's for them, but it's also for me.

It's always great when you go in because you can actually talk to a person and they're super nice.

But a wallet protest.

I like that.

Thank you for that information.

All right.

Japanese bus protest done right.

All right.

Hey there, Billy.

Red deflated.

Kanikas? Kanikicas? Spanish slang for balls. Ha, ha, ha.
Ah, that's great. Billy red, deflated.
Canicas. Spanish is a cool fucking language.
Balls. What sounds better? Balls or canicas? Canicas? Canicas.
It's got's gotta be canicas you know what's funny somebody speaks spanish could tell me to go up to a taco truck and order some canicas and i would um you want a softer or hard shell there i recently saw a story online about a japanese bus drivers union that decided to go on strike you what? Shout out to fucking Japan. Good for you guys.
You know, the government's got all you guys. You put the government first, you know, then your family, then your landscaping, and then you.
Something like that. Good for these guys.
Busting out of that. I recently saw online about a a japanese bus drivers union that decided to go on strike but to their much deserved credit they didn't stay home and thus fuck over the common man and lady all right so how does that work here we go instead they drove the city buses they picked the city's passengers, and they dropped them off at their desired stops.

So where's the protest, you might ask?

I did ask.

This guy's in my head, man.

Well, they didn't collect any bus fares from the passengers.

They worked for the people and fucked over the bosses.

Oh, my God.

That's fucking brilliant.

Wow.

Okay, so this is like in response to what I was saying.

Those people were blocking the road and all you were doing is pissing off the common man.

There you go.

Okay.

They got their point across and earned respect from the public i think there's some solid lesson in there somewhere yeah there definitely is they had empathy like they knew bosses have cars they could get where they're going all they're going to do is screw over their fellow countrymen and then also they're going to lose favor you know they're gonna you know there's there's people like i said there's always people out there like there's something you know important they have to go to a job interview dialysis something you can't fucking stop people from getting where they're trying to get to because you have no idea what they're going through that is brilliant anyways it says keep up the good work and go fornicate with your oversized ginger push damn you got me coming and going the top of the email and the fucking the outtake jesus christ give me a fucking two-piece a ginger fucking two-piece all right would you guys still come out to my stand-up shows if I got a toupee? I've been thinking about it, you know. I'm kidding.
Do they even make two-pays for redheads? They don't make Grecian formula for redheads. Disrupted protest.
Hey, peaceful protest bill. Just wanted to jump in on the discussion regarding disruptive protest.
I don't think those protesters are trying to convince the drivers to be on their side. I think they want to cause enough disruption to be covered by news outlets so people who agree with them will read about it and decide to join the cause.
They're trying to convert people that already agree with them,

but haven't done...

Listen, I'm all about trying to do something about global warming,

as it was originally called,

Jefferson Airplane, before they became Jefferson Starship,

climate change, whatever the fuck you call it.

But, like, I'm not sitting in the road and making some guy late for fucking work.

I'm not doing that.

It's dangerous.

It's a dangerous thing.

Like I said, someone could be in labor.

You know, that's not the way to get your fucking point across.

Being a douche.

Oh, my God.

How ironic. Me saying being a douche is not the way to get your point across.

I literally just described my entire fucking act. All right.
I'm going to go philosophia here. And I'm going to try to gain some knowledge from what you're saying.
Because this doesn't make sense to me. But this is a new me.
I'm going to be a little open-minded here. The guy stuck in traffic trying to get kidney dialysis has enough problems to worry about i think most people stuck in traffic have got too many problems to worry about climate change they just happen to be the unlucky victims on the day of the protest well you're being pretty cavalier with this person's kidneys what does that mean he has enough problems to worry about yeah like not dying there's four vegans a fucking trailer a block in the hey you know what but i'm gonna die i gotta get to kidney dialysis hey buddy i think you have enough to worry about if you don't mind This is this protest isn't about you.
Anyway, there was a protest at Shell headquarters in London two months ago. Here's a link.
Shell protest. All right.
The problem is nobody gives a shit. Shell executives are smart enough to know that fighting back will just give the protesters wider appeal.
If protesters knew that their tactics were working, more people would join and they would put on more pressure by just cleaning up the mess and moving on. Shell knows people won't care and fewer people will read about it if they are kept just busy enough with just enough for their needs fulfilled.
They won't have the time or the energy to worry about next year's problem, let alone next generation's problem. All right, I agree with that.
But I still don't understand blocking somebody trying to get to fucking dialysis. You mentioned that it would be stupid for you to be disruptive in order to get people to go to your shows.
And I mostly agree with that. But I also started listening to your stand up mostly because of your Philly rant.
Are you going to call my Philly rant a protest? No, he says, which I would argue was kind of a disruptive protest to that show. Well, I would argue that you, yeah, you fucking boiled that down and reshaped it into something that wasn't that was me that was me doing stand-up comedy and taking on a crowd that was not a disruptive protest i was not protesting anything i was going back and forth but i mean you know i'm with you with some of this stuff i don't agree with that example and just because you call me telling the crowd to go fuck themselves just because you're going to brand that a disruptive protest i mean that reminds me of that time when you'd be on stage telling jokes and then afterwards someone would come up and be like you know some of the statements you made in your act statements whoa hey i didn't make any statements i was telling jokes um i kind of feel like you're doing that i might be wrong i don't know i do think it was funny and you you were still trying to be entertaining in the moment no i wasn't i wasn't i had abandoned that and i was just trying to make them as angry as they were making me.
But it wasn't a disruptive protest.

It was me motherfucking them back.

But, I mean, if you're going to cast a wide net with the definition of that's a disruptive protest.

All right.

I mean, what else is a disruptive protest?

Can I get a straw? Are you disrupting the waitress who thought she was done with your table? Was that a disruptive protest? All right. But I would also guess that you were trying to fight back in your own way.
Yeah, I was. But every fight back is not a protest.
Like if I get into a bar fight with a guy, is that a disruptive protest? It's a fight.

I don't know.

I think I'm feeling like you're trying to just win this debate.

I'm not getting it.

It's been a couple of paragraphs before there was some information here.

I feel like what you're doing right now is you're trying to groove me into your definition of disruptive protest.

I think a lot of people listen to you and a lot of other comics in general because of

the unexpected opinions you have about culture that might go against social norms but still

resonate with the listeners.

Someone, no dude, people listen to me because I talk the way that they talk. These aren't unexpected opinions.
You know, the people who didn't have empathy for that CEO with the Luigi thing was not unexpected. That was totally predictable.
The only people who thought it was unexpected was the cable news channels. They were the only ones scratching their heads.
everybody else was walking around well you know live by the sword die by the sword you're gonna fucking sit there and let somebody's grandma die eventually someone's gonna get upset enough that they don't give a fuck about their own freedom i mean how did you not see that coming there's a reason why those ceos have that fucking security it's not because just because they're worth a lot of fucking money.

They also know that they're doing a lot of fucked up shit. Anyway, someone posts a clip of you or someone else with some clickbait titles saying some out-of-pocket opinion and you get more followers.
Oh, I do. I get to someone who took my shit out of context

and turned it into clickbait

and they click on their page. I get more followers.
I didn't do that. So then you're going to say that that's me being disruptive protesting.
I think these protesters are just looking for their audience in the same way. So me just going off and trying to sound like your buddy at the bar is the same as sitting in a fucking road to try to stop climate change.
All right, buddy. You know what? Agree to disagree.
I am fucking tapping out. I have no idea where the fuck that just went.
That was Phil and Nikia. That's what he was doing he wasn't giving me new information what he was doing was he was trying to win a debate um that i was not trying to have so i learned through that that when someone's in that mode you just walk away and that's what i'm doing walking away whatever those are your opinions and i'm glad that you have them and thank you for taking the time to express them.
Anyway, that is the podcast. Enjoy your week.
Go fuck yourselves. I think there's only like 30 tickets left to the Patrice O'Neill benefit.
So it's obviously going to sell out May 18th to 12th sell out in a row from the bottom of my my heart thank you so much for doing that um

and i mean that from a sincere place not from a disruptive protest space

all right that's it um oh my god i almost said love you guys what is going on with you i'm just

becoming a fucking softy go fuck yourselves i'll check in on you on thursday