Throwing Little-People, the Television Hall of Fame, Instagram Locations | Monday Morning Podcast 8-18-25

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Hey, what's going on?

It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday,

August 18th, 2025.

What's going on?

Hawaii.

Oh my God.

Where is the summer going?

Hang on.

Can someone just explain to me where the summer went?

I swear to God, it was almost like it was just winter and now it's the end of summer.

There's no goddamn spring or fall anymore.

I'll tell you what you can't stay anymore.

The four seasons.

They got to change the name to the two seasons.

You know what it is?

It's because of Trump and Joe Biden.

And they were listening to Obama and Bush, who had the Clintons' ears, who talked to George Bush Sr., and he brought it all to Ronald Reagan.

And they all decided there was going to be only two seasons

because they didn't like having to move their shit out of the attic four times a year.

They just wanted two clothes, winter and summer.

And that's true.

But you'll never see that on the internet because the world's afraid of it.

Sorry.

Oh, my God.

Red Sox lost today.

What a fun-ass fucking team to watch, though.

I'm having such a good time getting caught up with those guys.

Marcelo Meyer, is that his name?

22-year-old third baseman.

We got a 21-year-old kid in left field.

We're fucking young.

In the words of the late, great Kevin Knox, you're young, you're young.

They're coming on.

We're in first place for the fucking wild card.

I think we could win the first round.

Surprise somebody.

Build off of that.

I'll tell you, they've been wearing those alternative uniforms so much it was weird to see their regular ones.

I gotta tell you, I fucking hate to say this.

I like the green monster ones.

First, it was the hat, and now I'm looking at the jersey and I'm like, all right, that's fucking cool.

And I love green.

God damn it.

Now I got now, you know, so what do I do?

What do I do?

I go on the fucking website and the hat's all sold out.

It's all sold out.

You can't try to buy the hat on the day that they're wearing it because too many people are at home going, I want one of those.

And I was one of those people.

I was one of those people.

I got left out in the fucking rain, man.

You would think all these years sitting out there in the bleaches, you know, with all the other big-headed Bostonians, they would have a hat my fucking size, and they do not.

Although, here's a good one for you: don't try to buy merch for your team when they're hot as a pistol, as they always say.

Best home record,

best record at home since June something.

They keep that.

And then we have the most walk-off wins of the year.

What does that all translate to?

I don't know, about six games out of first place.

I think the Blue Jays won.

You know, and that's good, man.

You know, Toronto,

I don't get mad at it.

Canada needs a winner.

You know what I mean?

Like, I always felt like

Canadian people, never, white people in Canada, never really got their due

for like how evil they are.

You know what I mean?

Because of that imaginary line.

We act like they're not also from Europe and they're also not from countries that began the slave trade.

You know,

they were just up there.

So they got like cut off.

Like, you remember like behind the music?

And there'd be some big band and there'd be always be some dude who got kicked out or quit the band early on and then the band goes on to play fucking arenas.

You know what I mean?

I feel like that's what happened to the white Europeans that settled up in Canada.

Like they were like that first drummer or that rhythm guitarist, he just didn't have the look, you know, or he knocked up his girlfriend, and that was it, you know.

And they missed out on

you know

us,

you know, being a part of us

and saying how awesome we are

while you know

oppressing people

you missed out on it

we are the Oprah Winfrey of

countries

except nobody gets a car it's just you got mass weapons of mass destruction and you got weapons of mass and you got weapons of mass destruction

everybody freaking out in the audience Canada missed out so why can't they be up five fucking games in the AL East on August 18th

You got a good reason?

Can you explain that to me?

Why they shouldn't be up five games?

I had that bad company song in my head.

Ooh, I want you today, yay!

And I don't know any of the music.

I've heard that song.

I don't know any of the lyrics.

I'm ready for love.

I know the hook.

I keep singing the name of Billy Squires drummer in it, the late, great Bobby Schoenard.

Bobby Schoenard,

Bobby Schohenard,

ooh, I want you to stay yay all day long.

And then I think about Eddie Murphy when he played buckwheat.

When I get to the chorus, I'm ready, put nub.

Oh, baby, I'm ready, pun-nub.

I went to the gym today and I was singing along to the song, and I was singing ready, Put Nub.

And this woman on the treadmill just looked over and gave me a weird look.

And she was one of the rare people that did not have like those little fucking white earplug things in.

She actually wasn't listening to any music.

And I just walked by going, ready, put nub.

Old Billy Backbend,

three-quarters of the way up.

Huh?

How do you like that?

How do you like that?

Pasty is all get out.

White is the fucking snow on the first day of fucking the year.

Barely any pigment,

barely any athletic ability,

ugly as a four-day bender.

And there he is,

getting three-quarters the way inexplicably.

If you could see the level of shock on people's face when they see a fucking 57-year-old white man get on the mat,

make

a look of pain,

a wincing look on his, as he anticipates the pain.

And getting up, I mean, it's literally, it's like the Spruce Goose.

I'm not going to lie to you.

If you ever saw the one and only flight of the Spruce Goose down, I think it was down near Long Beach.

It had like 19 engines on both fucking wings.

I mean, this guy was just.

Howard Hughes was,

there was something wrong with that guy.

And I think it was called syphilis.

I think he had syphilis, it entered through his, his, his, uh, uh, penile corridor and ended up in his brain.

This guy fucking, he crashed, he's crashed more planes than I have cars.

Although I have an impeccable driving record, but I'm, you know, I've been in some accidents when I was younger, you know?

when drinking and driving was actually on

the sheet to be considered an Olympic event.

At the last second, we came to our senses.

We're like, no, this is stupid.

This is killing people.

All right?

We already have the TT.

We don't need

Olympic-level drinking and driving.

That'd be amazing.

Oh my God.

You do a throwback 80s night.

Okay, the music, the the fashion, the hairstyles, all of that.

And then you have one of those figure eight racetracks.

And it's the fucking,

it's the drinking and driving.

Well, you got the Daytona 500.

This would be the day-drinking

50 or something.

I just got to somehow see 500.

I don't know.

The day drinking 500.

And it's you and another driver.

Just hear me out on this.

All right?

It's just you and another driver.

Everybody signed their fucking waivers.

Your waivers, rancheros, okay?

You get into your car, right?

It's all safe.

You got a fire suit on and shit.

You know what's funny?

Is you would see the most accidents and the least amount of injuries.

The dude driving drunk never gets hurt.

He can be ejected through the fucking windshield, and he's just like one of those fucking things outside a car wash.

You know, those things they blow the air up in?

Just a giant Gumby.

Like,

you must have seen that clip where those people were mouthing off on the golf course.

Some public golf course shit, right?

Because they don't have to worry about a membership.

So they're getting after it, right?

One forsome is yelling at another forsome.

And it turns out one of the guys is a retired hockey player.

So, of course, there's always some guy, you know, who just thinks if he yells, let's go intensely enough, he'll know how to fight.

You know, let's go, let's fucking go.

He was doing that

and literally

got into a fight with a former NHL enforcer.

Now, this isn't what I want you to watch in the video.

What people are all making fun of in the he throws the fucking dude

into a marsh, into a lake, into a pond, into a sound.

I don't know how big the water is.

A lake.

Throws him into the fucking pond.

The kid comes out of the fucking pond like Jason in Friday the 13th.

And

it wasn't enough for him.

Going into the pond didn't sober him up at all.

He was just like, that's all you got.

That's all you got.

I'm going to walk up to you in squishy fucking sneakers and socks right now

coming up to you.

So he goes after the guy again.

And this is when I'm telling you why drunk drivers never seem to get hurt and everybody else does.

When the hockey player fucking throws that guy,

the complete lack of resistance

that he has to any of it.

He's like a fucking newspaper in the wind.

He just goes with it.

And he's on like jello.

And he just fucking lands and he pops right back up again.

Nothing.

Shoulders not blown out.

Didn't break his collarbone.

What gets you hurt is you go, you fucking tense up and everything's all fucking rigid.

But this guy, he went, I'm telling you, he went like...

He just got...

There was nothing he could do.

It was like...

like

he just fucking went with it and he landed

and fucking popped right back up again.

So anyway, everybody's, you know, making these memes about this guy getting thrown or whatever, but they're missing the lesson here.

The lesson here is that if you're drunk enough in a fight and somebody throws you

on grass or into a fucking body of water like that not nothing's gonna happen your clothes are gonna get wet.

You're gonna have to go to the dry cleaner.

All right, if that dude was stone sober, gold, let's fucking go.

I'm telling, when he got thrown into the pond, somehow his head would have hit a fucking rock.

When he came out and that dude threw him, he would have tried to fight it and he would have like broke his fucking neck.

His foot would have got spun around.

Something would have happened.

But he was prepared.

This man was shit-faced.

So nothing happened.

He took like 12 punches

from a former NHL enforcer who was also making sound effects as he was punching them.

He was going bang,

bang, bang, all of them waiting for the knockout punch.

This dude was like Tex Cob, just fucking eating all of them.

He took like 12 punches from an NH, retired NHL enforcer, was thrown in a fucking lake, and then hurled.

Like, I haven't seen another human being get thrown like that since back in the day on wide world of sports.

They used to try to find the best bouncer in the United States.

I swear to God, this was true.

In one of the events, it was like how you could kick somebody out of a bar.

Like you throw them out of a bar.

So they had stunt men midgets

with like these fucking, I don't know, these belts on that they could just pick up and out you go.

And they would throw these little people.

This was on television.

Big, roided-up men with mustaches throwing midgets.

And it was part of a sports program.

And that was back when you could buy a lazy boy that had a built-in ashtray in the fucking arm.

And you were ready for nub.

Oh, baby, you were ready for nub.

Anyway, I had a fucking epic, epic, epic dad weekend with the kids just making up for all that time I was doing the play.

I'm going to give you an example

of the kind of days I'm having with my kids.

All right?

And this, like, the dad day I had just on Saturday.

Was like I was dialed in like Wayne Gretzky, was it 1982 when he scored 96 goals when it didn't even seem like, how to fucking somebody even do this shit?

I did the dad version of Wayne Gretzky in 1982.

I'm talking shit.

Somebody needs to throw me in a fucking pond.

Arms never went out.

Didn't even try to break his fucking fall.

He just fucking, woo!

He enjoyed the goddamn ride.

So don't ever forget that.

You know, if somehow the gorilla ever breaks out of the zoo and just grabs you by the throat and throws you across the fucking parking lot, don't fight the gorilla.

Just go with it.

You know?

Enjoy the ride.

And when you land and slide on the pavement underneath that park bench, just stay there.

Just stay there and let that fucking thing pick somebody else.

So this is my day.

I woke up.

I made two Dutch babies.

My kids, that's their favorite breakfast.

So they're getting bigger now.

So

they want one each, right?

So I made that.

Then we drove around my neighborhood in my old truck, and they both took turns steering it.

My daughter also used the turn signal.

Then I got some gas.

I went out to breakfast.

get myself something, the to-go thing, and I got them

some cookies.

Then we went back to the house.

I met my mother-in-law.

We went bowling, and there was an arcade there, and there was a bar there.

I mean, this fucking place, you could, if they ever did the Big Lebowski again, like this fucking place was amazing.

And I'm not gonna lie to you, I got thirsty when I was there.

I was like, this is the kind of place that old Billy Freckles would day drink in.

Because the bar,

they took the fucking bar.

The bar was all the way up.

You know, it was a classic bowling alley layout.

You walk in, you see all the lanes.

It's amazing.

It's like walking into a ballpark when you come out from underneath and you walk up, you see all the fucking lanes.

All right?

And then you see, like, there was an arcade in the corner, and then there was a place to get food.

And it was like that hockey rink food that's, you know, the square pieces of pizza, all that bullshit.

But then tucked all the way around the corner was this bar.

I couldn't believe Steve Buscemi and John Goodman, you know, weren't sitting there drinking with like Hawaiian shirts on.

And I looked at that, and I, and you know, was great too, was it was like it was a three-sided bar, like up against the wall,

and there was a way to walk all the way around to the back side and get that last chair on the back side

and just sit there

just getting fucking hammered, and nobody even knows.

You know what I mean?

And I'll tell you right now,

I'm not going to tell you later.

I'm going to tell you right now.

Somebody, if I was in there for fucking three hours, could pick me up like that dude in the golf course and throw me down one of those alleys, and you would get a fucking strike, and I would not get hurt at all.

And I would just get up with the same look as that kid.

And

you could do it again.

I would be that perfect level of fucking hammered that I should not be driving, but I cannot get hurt if you throw me.

So anyway, we went bowling.

And then we were driving down the street and there was a random

motorcycle store.

So I brought the kids in there and they were checking out the motorcycles and they've, you know, kids love motorcycles.

And then we came back to the house.

We had a late lunch and then we went swimming.

And my kids just fucking attack me the entire time I'm in the pool.

Like my son swims at me with his hand at his forehead, trying to look like a shark fin.

And then he pops his head out of the water and he tries to bite me.

And my daughter's always going under the water.

She's grabbing my legs and shit.

And I finally just said, can you guys just let me enjoy the pool?

You know?

How come you don't do this to your mother?

You only do this to me.

And my daughter goes, because you let us.

And it's like, well, I'm not letting you now.

And then she goes, yeah, but we know you're not serious.

Which I was serious, but what she said was so funny, I laughed.

And then it started back up for like another 20 minutes.

Yeah, they're insane.

I'm not a person to them.

I'm a fucking bouncy house.

Like my daughter's like, Dad, walk to like more towards the deep end so you're underwater so I can stand on your shoulders and jump off of them.

I don't know.

I should be like, no, that's going to hurt.

I'm old.

But instead I go, all right.

Does this mean you like me?

And

yeah, that was it.

That was one day.

That was one day.

And then this morning we woke up, you know, we went out, went out to breakfast.

I had the kids steering the truck again in the neighborhood.

I got my son to do it.

He was a little nervous about doing it.

And then he started doing like, buddy, buddy, buddy, going to back to the right, back to the right, back to the right.

And he would be like laughing, looking at his sister.

I had to like fix it or whatever.

But

I don't know.

I'm really,

really having a great time with them, enjoying these last few days before they go back

to school.

You know,

and I keep running into parents, you know, and they just keep saying, you know, goes by fast, you know.

It's like slow and fast.

All the same.

That's all they say.

It's like they try to, it's like, dude, I'm sorry that you're sad.

Your kids are grown up.

How old are your kids?

Oh, eight and five.

Oh, that's such a magical age.

Grow, enjoy it.

Enjoy it because they grow up so fast and then fucking awful things, awful things.

It's like, all right, all right.

Yes.

Like, they always, every fucking parent that has grown-up kids always says it goes by fast.

It goes by fast.

It's like,

I know it does.

And someone said that to you, and there's nothing you can fucking do about it.

So stop doing that.

Because my kids are still eight and five.

I want to fucking enjoy.

Just stop putting your fucking sadness onto me.

You're not talking to me right now.

You're talking to your younger self.

All right?

I'm in the pool.

I'm letting them drive my truck down the street.

All right.

Stop fucking giving me anxiety, you cunts.

All right.

Ooh, I want you to shut the fuck up.

Anyway,

old Billy Elevation.

About ready to take my drumming to a whole new fucking level.

I don't know why I got all intense about that.

I, for the longest time, have wanted to get a hi-hat,

a fixed hi-hat, on the right-hand side of my kit

so

I could play along to all this double bass shit that I loved growing up.

All right?

And that's everything from

Metallica, Slayer,

Primus,

Pantera,

Van Halen,

Motorhead,

what else?

Even Tommy Lee threw in some double pedal shit every once in a while.

Well, he had a double bass for a while, up until he had a double bass until 1989 when he went on the Dr.

Feelgood tour.

But right up through Girls, Girls, Girls, he had a double bass and he was a Pearl guy, and then he switched over to DW.

Yes, I do know all of this shit.

So, anyway,

that's going to be my next move

to try to fill up the void.

that is gonna be my next move

uh bill nobody's saying

nobody's saying you can't do it you know all right sorry

sorry just get like a little intent you know what it is is i'm fucking so excited

uh

that i have all of this fucking time off

Like I ain't doing shit for the rest of the fucking year.

Except doing shit like that.

Like playing with my kids and buying a fixed hi-hat.

That's it.

And avoiding people that have grown-up children so I don't have to listen to them tell me how fast it goes by.

I am enjoying every second of it.

I have spent more fucking time with my kids in

the last month

than any kid from my generation got from their parents their entire upbringing.

We were just fucking outside.

Go outside.

Just go outside.

That's what it was.

Go outside.

I'll tell you, you know what's funny is I never heard anybody from my parents' generation talking about, you know, it goes by quick.

I guess you wouldn't say that to a kid, though, right?

They were just like, they were just different.

You know what it was?

There was no fucking internet.

There was no social media.

So, like, parents used to fucking hang out with each other,

you know, and just get ripped.

You know what is funny about fucking alcohol is if you keep drinking at a certain level past a certain age, you're just fucking red.

As far as like a white person, you know?

Like last night I was at this event and,

you know, I'm telling you, that bowling alley with the bar kind of, you know, I wasn't going to do anything, but that was like a fuck.

Every once in a while, because usually 99% of the time, I'm like, I'm so psyched I don't drink anymore, but every once in a while,

oh, you know what I mean?

It's like a retired baseball player smelling the fresh cut grass, just like hearing the sound of a ball hitting a bat.

You just, oh man, I would love to go up there and just fucking take a couple of cuts.

Yeah, well, I'm not an athlete.

I was a functioning alcoholic, so I get that feeling when I look at a bar.

Like, oh my God.

Oh, my God.

Dude, back in the day, me Bart Nick Versey

in a bowling alley bar during the fucking day.

That would be one of those hangs that we talked about 10 years later.

Trying to remember what the fuck we were laughing at.

Oh my God.

That's when I actually feel bad for oligarchs.

Like, do they have that?

Do they get to have that moment?

Do they ever just get to go get hammered

in a bowling alley bar?

Can they

take the time to just fucking and enjoy that?

Or are they too busy thinking about like

looking at everybody bowling, thinking about how much money they're making off at each one of those people?

You know, like oligarchs, like when they go to some orgy and they're all dressed up like different animals and stuff, like, do you really get that fucking high school cafeteria laugh in the middle of it?

You know, when they're sacrificing a virgin, do you, is there?

I don't know.

It's it's a different world.

But you definitely, you know,

you think about it.

So anyway,

last night I went to a

went to this event.

They were electing people into the

television hall of fame.

And

it was one of the most fascinating.

The group of people that they inducted and they went through their whole careers, the stuff that these people did,

and then what people said about them before they brought him up, and what the people said when they were up there,

like,

you know, those award shows go on a long time.

This is the only award show I've ever been to where the whole thing was fascinating to me.

Put it this way: it opened with Viola Davis.

She opened.

And they had her whole career, and then she went up there and just winged a speech

on

how she overcame and,

I don't know what, just built herself up up in her head to do all of this stuff.

Then they brought this dude up,

Ron or Rod something or other.

He wrote all the fucking music to every goddamn song, every show.

He had a partner and then continued on after his partner died.

He did every fucking theme song from the Rockford Files, Greatest American Hero, A-Team, Magnum P.I.

He did the Law and Order theme.

And they brought him up on stage.

That's where they brought bum, bump, bump, bump, bum.

And he went up on stage and they were showing everybody on TikTok that they do like these dance routines to that.

That whole craze.

And he just went up shaking his head, like, I don't know why these kids are doing this, but this is awesome.

Hill Street Blues,

LA Law, all the fucking major hits.

Then they had another guy

who had passed away, but his thing was he did events,

like big events, like Super Bowl halftime.

He was the king of like that stuff.

Super Bowl halftimes shows,

the 9-11 tribute,

the Olympics when Muhammad Ali came out with the tour, like those, the Oscars, like giant events where it's basically live, you got one shot at it, and the odds of you screwing it up and critics ripping you apart because everybody's watching it.

So, everyone is going to read about it, and it's a good way to get clicks and get attention and make money.

So, you got to have your own hot take.

This guy lived in that pressure, crushed all of those.

Then, the next one up was Henry Winkler,

and they showed all of his work from pre-happy days

to

like post-Barry, all the stuff that he did.

And he's just like,

like, I don't know, if you did like a coaching tree of the nicest people ever, if you, if you, like,

I, to me, it's, it's Henry Winkler, Adam Sandler.

And then I got to think who's third.

But, like.

Henry Winkler is literally the nicest human being you're ever going to meet.

And he went up and was absolutely hilarious and of course, totally humble, and of course,

you know, very inspiring, and all of that.

And

I don't know, if there's a way to live a perfect life,

like, because there's a lot of people that are like

loved at home, but get their ass kicked at work, or people at work love them, but then their home life suffers.

This guy just

straight across the board crushes it, professionally and personally.

I mean, he was giving shout-outs to his grandkids.

And like, everybody was there.

Was fucking amazing.

And then to close it out,

Conan O'Brien went up.

And then he, he fucked, oh my God, he fucking murdered.

He roasted everybody

in a playful way that had been up there.

He made fun of the venue that we were at.

He made fun of himself.

And then, of course, had an overall positive outlook on the future, the future of television, the future of creativity, and the future of people.

How he always does lands it,

you know, after being totally silly and ridiculous, I don't know where he hits you with like some profound shit.

It was an amazing night.

And I'll tell you, I went there, and after I got in and I sat down, you know,

my wife was out of town, can't make it, right?

So I'm there by myself feeling like an asshole.

And I'm like, yeah, you know,

I'll hang here for like an hour.

Then I'm just going to, I'm going to wait.

Or as they clap somebody off, I'm going to get up and I'm going to leave.

And it was so entertaining, I stayed for the whole thing.

And that was my evening.

I got to get back on stage.

I haven't done stand-up in a minute.

And I got a bunch of new shit that I want to fucking try out.

Um,

oh, and I had a nice fucking helicopter ride, and I had a nice motorcycle ride, and I had a great fucking week.

Oh, Billy, downtime!

Oh, Billy, downtime!

Um,

yeah, that's it.

All right, I gotta, I gotta hit pause here and see if any of these materials have come in yet because I don't have any of my the questions from you guys or the advertising yet.

And through the magic of the pause button, I have my materials that I need.

All right, let's do.

I only got one read, everybody.

Lucky you guys.

You only have to listen to me read out loud once.

Ah, look who it is.

It's open phone.

If you're running a business, every missed call is money left on the table.

Think about the last time you had a plumbing emergency.

If the first plumber didn't answer, did you wait?

Letting that shit-filled water spill over the bowl?

Hell no.

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All right, and with that,

and we're back

with your questions for the week.

Black Sabbath.

Hey, Billy, butt stuff.

Hey, Bill,

a long time listener and fellow mass hole.

He put a comma after, he said, hey, Bill, comma, a long time, comma.

Hey, Bill, a long time.

Listener and fellow mass hole.

And he spelt mass hole, M-A-S-S-O-H-L-E.

This fucking guy.

He was day drinking at a bowl in L.

His fucking thumbs were drunk.

A few weeks ago, when Ozzy died, I heard you reference a song where he is pleading to God and how much it creeped you out.

I apologize if somebody else let you in, but the song is Black Sabbath by Black Sabbath off the album, off the Black Sabbath album.

So they were the first ones to do that, huh?

Because I remember there was a band called Big Country that had a song named Big Country off the album, Big Country.

In a big country, dreams stay with you.

To the lover's boy, to the mountainside.

Stay on sides.

That's what you sing in a hockey game.

Also,

I know you appreciate it, but it was the last song that WAAF played at midnight.

Oh my God.

WAAF, kick-ass, rock and roll.

Before they were bought out by a Christian rock station.

Do you know I actually bought a WAAF

kick-ass rock and roll t-shirt and I wore it to school?

The amount of shit that I got,

I came walking in, and the first kid said, oh my god, I always hear those advertised on the radio.

I never knew somebody who bought them.

Do you remember that?

Do you remember when you showed up to school wearing something that you weren't even fucking questioning?

And as you got half a fucking pony high top into your fucking 1980s high school, somebody shits on it, and you're just like, oh, God, this is going to be a long day.

Why couldn't it be gym day?

I would have had my gym stuff I could change.

um

oh and he yelled it too in the hot in the hallway got a big laugh and then that was it i spent the rest of the day with my arms crossed across you know my chest didn't help anyway they were bought out by a jesus station the only thing scarier than Black Sabbath by Black Sabbath off the Black Sabbath album is a rock, a kick-ass rock and roll station getting bought out by a Christian rock station.

How much are you in the cult that you pick up a Gibson Les Paul and you're still singing about the Lord?

It's not what

guitar is about, sinning.

I get it.

You're into Jesus.

Just apologize for this later.

Let's do some Black Sabbath shit.

Anyway, this person said, I was in a college at Fitchburg State at the time and working at a liquor store and ran to my car to hear what song WAAF would play last.

That's kind of cool that you knew it was a big moment.

I actually, you could go on YouTube and listen to the last, like,

I think, shift of WBCN.

I know this sounds like old guy stuff, but you have, like, no idea how

personal

radio was,

what station you listened to, the bands that they played, and the on-air personalities, the DJs.

And, like,

it was, this is before Clear Channel.

It was just regional.

So, these people on the radio, they sat in the same traffic, ate the same food, rooted for the same sports teams.

So,

they basically expressed, you know,

like, Jesus Christ, is it going to snow again this weekend?

But, Bob, they just, they were going through the same thing.

86 when the Red Sox blew it.

They were there for that.

We got blown up by the Bears.

All of that shit.

They were just, they were fucked.

Too many men on the ice.

They were fucking there.

Some construction project not working out.

They were fucking there.

And,

you know, technology continued on, and they all

disappeared.

This person goes on.

Anywho, actually, the Kinks were a really cool song about that, Around the Dial.

About some kid, you know, putting on the radio and his favorite DJ isn't there anymore, and you're trying to figure out why.

Because there was no information back then.

They just weren't fucking there.

You're like, what the fuck happened?

Anywho, this person says, I'm a big fan, and I've been doing comedy for a little over a year in the Boston and Worcester scene.

I'm doing all right for myself, but I just want to know what you think about young comics trying to come up.

And do it the right way.

I'm looking,

I think he means booking small shows and I host an open night right next to the Wilbur and the Wang.

Love your brother.

The last special was fantastic.

What do I think about comics coming up doing it the right way?

I'll be honest with you, I don't know what the right way is.

I know it worked for me.

I think,

you know, I don't want to fall into that thing that, you know, the way my generation did it, it's the right way, and that's the only way to do it.

There was a lot of, you know, older comics that looked at my generation like, what are you guys doing?

That's not comedy, that's not even jokes.

So comedy is just like music, where it keeps evolving, it keeps changing.

And, you know,

but it is a weird thing where you can kind of stay contemporary.

You don't get like

locked in to a decade like so many bands do by their fan base and by critics.

Like, they won't accept any new music from you or whatever.

They just want you to play the hits.

Comedy is the opposite, where they want new shit.

They don't want to hear the old stuff.

But

I don't know.

But I think as much as it changed, there's probably,

you know, the only way to get better at this shit is to get on stage,

you know, anywhere you can.

And

I don't know.

You just learn while you're on stage.

I guess you mean by the right way is to not try to make it in two seconds by

posting clip after clip after clip on Instagram.

I don't think that that's a bad thing.

I mean, I'm glad it wasn't around when I was coming up because I would be like, oh, like some of your earlier shit, it's like, oh my god,

I wouldn't want any of that stuff seeing the light of day.

But

I don't know, man.

Like, my advice to you is what feels like the right way, do that.

Just work your ass off.

Don't be an asshole.

And

say what you want to say on stage.

However, you go about doing that, I think you'll be alright.

Anyway, all right, plowing ahead here.

What's the next one?

What's the next one?

It is always nice to hear from a comedian, though,

as an older fella.

all right havoc hvac

I have no idea what this is about HVAC hey there Billy ball sweat union havoc HVAC service tech here

heard you bitching up a storm about the idiots not putting a return in your drum room hope they aren't bending you over on the bill you gotta watch these non-union guys dude let me tell you something you gotta to watch all the guys.

Anytime you get anything, you're like, listen,

don't fucking touch anything until you have everything to replace it.

Order everything, have it ready to go, then rip it out and put it in.

And what do they always say?

Oh, yeah, no problem, no problem.

And what do they do?

They rip it out, and immediately there's fucking delays, and they always have like 10 fucking jobs going.

And once they fucking gut your place, dude, come on.

Don't even act like it's just non-union guys.

Anyway, most are fine, but for example, my wife's grandma's AC

went down last week and they told her she needed a whole new system because the

refrigerant is out of production.

It's hard to get, but the shit isn't out of production.

They just lied to an old lady to get an easy cash grab, 11 grand for a new unit.

I repaired the leak for $40 of materials and and $400 of refrigerant later

and she's good to go.

Wow.

$440.

You know, let's be honest.

If you did that for somebody, you'd probably charge them, what, a grand, $800, a grand?

But still, that's $10,000 less.

You didn't charge her for labor.

Anyway, scabs are out here doing half-ass work and charging out the ass.

So my suggestion is try and find a union shop near near you.

They cost a little more an hour, but they have the training and know how to do it right the first time.

Well, there you go.

All right.

I've come back around on unions because you said so.

I don't get people who are out there doing shit work.

I don't get that at all.

Like...

I had jobs that I didn't like, but I always did a good job.

You know?

I remember being a bus boy in a restaurant, and i had to like mop down the whole they had an oyster bar black and white tiles and i had to do the the men and the women's room and uh

oh my god some nights like i don't even know what the fuck happened in there and i hated every second of it but the fucking place was gleaming by the time i was done with it

and uh

The piece of shits that I worked with me, I remember they used to look at me like, dude, what the fuck is with this kid?

He actually, like,

there's so many people out there that are just so into fucking people over that they don't even understand just doing the right thing like you you're paying me to do this job i'm gonna do the fucking job and i'm gonna do it right

like

scumbags

they they almost look at you like when a dog can't figure something out and they cock their head they don't even get it

It's like, why would you put all that effort in there?

What are you getting out of that?

You're already making that money an hour.

Why don't you dog it?

And then figure out how to take somebody else?

Like the people who approach shit that way,

I don't get that.

Like, how you could

go in there and see an old person,

you know, they're not working anymore.

You know that money is important to them.

And you go in and you

take 10 times what you need to take from them.

So you can do what?

Do what?

Go out and get yourself a car with T-Tops, you cunt.

Anyway,

Instagram showing users' location.

Hey there, Billy, my old chum.

Instagram made an update to their app that turns on your location data by default, now revealing your geographic location if you use the app, unless you go into settings and turn it off.

This has caused influencers online to be posting content without them knowing their home address is being revealed to the world, causing randos to take pictures of their houses and sending it to the influencers.

People are out of their fucking minds.

First of all, I don't understand why an app

can do something like that.

You know, think about all the women out there that have fucking stalkers.

I believe mine's shut off.

I'm going into it now.

I don't handle this stuff.

My web guy does.

Yeah, this is all off.

Never.

There you go.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't have any of that shit on.

I don't have any of that on.

But, like, where does Instagram get off doing that to people?

Like,

why would they do that to people?

This person says, if you personally use Instagram, you should change the settings before people start standing in front of your place.

I appreciate this, by the way.

That being said, this is just another example of how these tech companies share your personal data with no consideration of the negative impacts this could cause on the users.

Yeah, they don't give a fuck.

And they have enough money to buy all the politicians.

That's it.

So what it would take would be for all of us regular people to somehow get on the same page.

But all they would have to do is send bots at us blaming Joe Biden or Donald Trump, and then we would just start arguing, and that would be the end of it, and nothing would get done.

That being said, this is just another example of how these tech companies share your personal data with no consideration of the negative impacts, blah, blah, blah.

They don't even bother making announcements of these updates since the app updates in the background.

Stay safe, don't go fuck yourself, have some frozen yogurt instead.

Oh, what a good shit!

Thank you for giving me the heads up.

Yeah, it's just fucking.

Listen, we all know what we're headed towards.

If I see one more fucking commercial on TV or something on the news where some regular person is just going on and on about how amazing AI is.

This reminds me when I lived in New York and there was a player on one of the baseball teams.

Once a year, he would do a fucking

piece with the local news thing about how much he fucking worked out and how hard he worked out and all that.

And guess what?

He got busted for doing steroids.

This is the same thing with his AI shit.

Oh my god, this is a man.

I used this AI and it was fucking incredible.

Blah, blah, blah.

AI is here to replace you.

First thing it's going to do is take your job.

And then it's going to become a robot and then it's going to take your life.

And that's what's going to happen.

And all we're going to be doing while this happens is screaming about Trump and Joe Biden.

That's all that people are going to do because they're fucking mouth-breathing morons.

They're fucking morons.

The fucking people that think that let's get the illegal immigrants out and then I can afford a house.

That's not going to happen.

Like illegal immigrants are buying up all the houses.

Like illegal immigrants are driving up the price of fucking house.

It's unreal.

Literally, the guys that are fucking you over are going, no, no, no, it's them over there.

It's them.

Oh, it is.

And then you run down the fucking street.

It's unreal.

Unfucking believable.

Literally,

the person that has his dick in your ass is going, it's him over there.

He's the one fucking you.

Oh, all right.

Thank you, piece of shit who doesn't pay his employees and doesn't pay his taxes.

I'll listen to you.

All right, forced to give email for a receipt.

Bill, I'll keep this short and brief.

I bought a shirt at HM.

When I went to to buy the shirt, I asked for a receipt and they asked for my email.

I said, no, thank you.

Thanks.

Please give me a paper receipt.

The lady informed me that the receipts are only digital now and they would need my email.

I said, that's bullshit.

I don't have an email.

Now what?

She then said, Do you have friends' email?

I said, no, I don't.

We went back and forth for about one minute.

And I didn't want to make the other people wait in line, so I just didn't take a receipt.

I think it's absolute bullshit.

They're actually forcing us to to give emails for receipts.

It's only a $13 shirt, so fuck it, I guess.

But it had me so infuriated.

It should.

Just print some fucking paper.

You should look this up.

HM can suck my dick.

Fuck them.

Exactly.

Fuck HM.

Part of me wishes I stayed and fought longer and forced them to address the issue with the manager, but I just said fuck it and left with my shirt.

Didn't give them my email.

When I mentioned I don't want them to have my email, they said it's only for receipt and I laughed in their face.

Exactly.

We don't share it.

It's like, no, you don't share it.

They must think I'm retarded.

Retarded.

I don't know how to properly express my rage or why this infuriates me so much, but it does.

So I'll stop before I just ramble on saying fuck this and fuck that.

Would love to hear your thoughts.

Thanks and go fuck yourself.

Well, I think a lot of people like yourself, the reason why you have rage issues is because you would never do some shit like that.

Or maybe you grew up in a really controlling environment and the fact that you didn't feel like you had an option made you fucking flip out.

Or I'm superimposing my issues onto you.

That's what I got for you.

Yeah, fuck all of these people and there need there needs to be some sort of

pushback.

I always give a fake email.

I always give a fake phone number.

Yeah, there was it.

Do we have a phone number in our system?

And I always go, no, no, you don't.

Do you want?

No, I don't want to.

Do you want to be a member of our group?

No, I don't.

I don't.

And always, when I'm standing in line behind,

can I get a phone number?

And you're like, 617-212, it's just like, what the fuck are you doing?

They just, they just, you know.

You know what those people are?

They're

guard tower people.

You know, that moron in front of you in the line, when you're being exterminated by the robots, he's going to be up in the guard tower, thinking he's in with the robots.

And then when they're done killing all of us, then they'll go up and be like, all right, buddy, it's your turn.

And he's going to be like, but wait, I gave you my phone number.

In you go.

That's how that works.

Same thing with these illegal immigrants.

They start with brown people.

They don't look like you.

You're not fucking concerned.

And then they run out of those people.

And they still have to make money.

They still have to put people in those fucking little

prisons that they have.

So then, guess what?

Then it's your fucking turn.

That's how that works.

That's how that works.

I don't know.

At least my limited knowledge of fucking history and control over people and what the fuck they do.

But this is getting too deep.

This is not why you guys tune into this podcast.

All right.

Red Sox got a Monday, Tuesday, a two-game series against the fucking Baltimore Orioles, the last place Baltimore Orioles.

I don't know what happened.

They had like two or three seasons there where they were turning it around.

I love the fucking Orioles.

Eddie Murray,

Rick Dempsey, Doug DeSense,

that fucking crazy hillbilly that passed away, that was on the dugouts spelling out the name.

Used to play in that old War Memorial Stadium with the Baltimore Colts.

Fucking amazing.

Jim Palmer, Frank Tanana.

The fuck else else was on that team.

Earl Weaver?

Those great orange shirts.

Oh my God.

Nothing can fuck with baseball uniforms.

1979.

Some of the highlights.

Houston Astros, Pittsburgh Pirates.

Baltimore Orioles.

Who else had great fucking uniforms?

A lot of them sucked in the 80s.

Um, like the White Sox always had a boring uniform.

And then that one they had, like, when Lamar Hoyt, where it just said socks when Carlton Fisk was there.

I never liked that uniform.

I always thought that was weird.

Okay, let's go.

Let's go back.

Come on, Bill.

You can do better than that.

Houston Astros.

Oh, the fucking Milwaukee Brewers, the Seattle Mariners.

They had great uniforms.

The Twins, oh, the fucking St.

Louis Cardinals, that blue jersey, Kansas City Royals, that nice clean uniform.

Alright, that's all I got.

You know, I was looking up some shit the other night.

I was watching the Dodgers and the Padres because all of a sudden the Padres were up one game and then the Dodgers took them two games in a row.

Now they're up a game.

And it was talking about the Dodgers uniform, and it said that it was blue and white and red.

And I was like, what the fuck is red?

And for the life of me, I couldn't think of it.

And I put on the Dodgers game.

I'm like, oh, the fucking number is red.

How have I never noticed that?

I mean, I see it all the time.

I just never noticed it.

You know, Bill, you could have ended the fucking podcast instead of just, you know, what else I never noticed?

All right, that's the podcast.

Go fuck yourselves.

Give out fake emails, fake phone numbers.

Just, you know, you can't fight this shit, but you can have fun with it.

Just take surveys, give all bogus information.

Like, I think that that's the only way to combat this, is we just all give bogus information,

and there'll be so much misinformation out there about all of us that, you know,

the value of tracking, nah, that's still not going to happen.

They'll track us even more.

Anyway, and it's all God's fault because he makes selfish people, he makes fucking sociopaths, and he makes narcissists.

And

you know, there's like bacteria in your gut your whole life.

There's the bacteria in your gut that's going to activate when you die so you can decompose.

It's just sitting there waiting for that to happen.

I think that the human version of that is narcissists and sociopaths.

And if you believe in God, he put them in the human race to end the human race eventually because God gets bored with shit.

And then he moves on to something else.

He had had a good time with the dinosaurs, done with that, moves on to human beings.

He's about done with us, and then they'll be the fucking next thing.

That's how it works, you know?

Remember, there was Friendster, then there was MySpace, then Instagram, and it just kept going.

Same thing with creation.

It's just a theory.

All right, that's it.

Go fuck yourselves.

I'll talk to you on Thursday.

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