Submarine Guy, Middle East, Nerd Cities | Monday Morning Podcast 6-23-25

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Hey, what's going on?

It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, June 23rd, 2025.

What's going on?

How are you?

How's it going?

How is it going for you?

Oh, I'm very excited.

Very excited.

It is the final, the 16th and final week of Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross on Broadway at the Palace Theater, 47th and 7th.

Been over there for a good four or five months at this point.

Could not have had a better time.

Could not have been working with better people.

It was awesome.

I'm going to enjoy this week, enjoy the people that I'm working with.

It's been great.

I cannot believe

it's going to be over this week.

It's going to be weird.

I'm not going to lie to you.

As excited as I am to be

back with my wife and kids,

you know, this was obviously a milestone gig.

So thank you to everybody involved.

And especially thanks to Nathan Lane, who got the whole thing going, suggesting me to the director, Patrick Marber.

And

the rest, as they say,

is history.

Speaking of history,

the Florida Panthers, congratulations with Brad Marchon.

Back-to-back Stanley Cups.

In their third Stanley Cup final in a row, I believe.

They lost to Vegas.

Then last last year they beat Edmonton.

This year, they beat Edmonton.

My condolences to Edmonton and all of Canada, except for Calgary, because even they secretly probably were happy, despite the fact the Cup hasn't been there since 1993.

The fucking Panthers are just relentless.

Fucking relentless.

And

I don't know when they went up to Edmonton and

won that game five up there after this series was tied,

I was just, these fucking guys,

they just don't, they don't, they don't rattle.

And

I don't know, Marshawn had like nine zillion goals.

It sucks watching him win that with Florida, but I'm happy for him.

And then the Red Sox trade Devers to San Francisco, which made no sense to me.

He's a Hall of Famer.

He's not even 30 years old yet.

And we get a bunch of pitchers I haven't heard of.

I don't know what's going on.

I don't know what's going on at Boston Sports.

I think the Red Sox plan, for whatever reason, is they're trying to strengthen the National League West.

I think that's what they're going to do.

I think they're.

You know, Xander Bogarts goes to fucking the Padres, Mookie Betts goes to the Dodgers, and now Devers goes to San Francisco.

I mean,

I don't know what it is about that division, but you're welcome.

I don't know what you guys gave for any of those players.

Xander was free agency.

I don't know.

I don't want to go through it.

It is what it is, as the kids say.

I don't know.

I was hoping we were going.

Oh, and then fucking Chris Sales down in Atlanta, and all of a sudden he can fucking pitch.

What did he do for the Red Sox?

All he did would get hurt and then break a TV.

Who knows?

But I'm happy he's healthy again.

I don't know.

It's a game of runs.

It's a game of streaks, as they talk about in the NBA.

Speaking of the NBA, oh, Billy watched some sports this week.

I watched game seven, OKC, and the Pacers.

I mean,

Halliburton comes out, hits three, three-pointers.

And I'm like, oh my God, this kid is establishing himself as a superstar of the future.

And I felt that

I was like this game is going to come down to the wire and if the ball gets in this kid's hands they might actually do this and then right as I was thinking that

they said it was a calf injury I hope it wasn't Achilles although that's what people are saying

he goes down like in the first quarter just fucking Took the wind out of the whole fucking game seven, I felt but then all of a sudden the Pacers stayed with them and they stayed with them and they hung around.

Then in the fucking third quarter or something, I don't know, Pacers were down by four.

OKC goes on a 19-2 run and they just never recovered.

I think they got it as close as 11 or 9.

They knocked it down to that, but that was about it.

Sort of anticlimactic after that.

Congratulations.

to the Oklahoma City Thunder winning their first championship and the franchise's first championship, championship, I want to say, since 1979 when they were the Seattle Supersonics with downtown Freddie Brown way back in the day, Dennis Johnson, rest his soul.

I know people in Seattle, at least I saw, they were kind of rooting against OKC,

which I get.

Oh, by the way, shout out to Miami.

Shout out to Florida,

knowing so little about hockey that the last two years is the only time Gary Bettman has not gotten booed when he goes to hand out the Stanley Cup.

They're so new to hockey, they didn't even know they were supposed to boo the guy.

They're like, yay!

The next time somebody asks me about getting booed at Philly, I'm going to be like, that's fucking nothing.

Gary Bettman gets booed every year when he goes to hand out the Stanley Cup, and he knows it's coming.

At least I didn't know it was coming.

He actually got cheered.

I was sitting there watching.

It took me a second.

I was like, wait a minute.

This guy's been getting booed for like 30 straight fucking years.

They used to boo Ziegler before him.

They've always booed the commissioner.

You know what's funny is at this point,

I don't even think most fans even know why we're booing him.

It's just, it just became like a tradition.

You just, you had to do it.

That's the commissioner of the NHL boo him.

And then you go to Florida, right?

Well, you know how Florida is.

It's like it's the South, but it ain't the South, but it's the South.

You know what I'm saying?

Like, they just, hey, they do shit a little different down there.

Anyway,

so congratulations to them.

And

I don't know.

I got some shit to talk about this week.

I started to watch

this documentary on that submersible

that went down to the Titanic and imploded, and all of those poor people died, right?

And

my lovely wife's going, you want to watch this, you know, you know, women, you know, first 48

murder she wrote,

any sort of murder or death.

For some reason, it's soothing for them, you know, to watch it right before they go to bed.

Like that great SNL sketch.

that they did on it.

It's so fucking true.

It's like, you know, I don't think I want to watch people get crushed to death from the pressure of the water.

I'm terrified of the ocean.

Like, I don't know if I want to, she goes, come on, let's just watch it.

I go.

And she goes, all right, well, you want to watch this one on the Crackhead Mayor of Toronto?

And I'm looking at his face

and what he was accused of and how he was lying and all of that.

I'm like, nah, I can watch the real-time version of that anytime I want at this point.

I don't want to watch that.

So we end up sitting down watching that

the Titanic one.

I have to tell you, like, this should be required viewing

by anybody who is not a narcissist.

It's, I don't even know where to begin with this guy.

Full-on narcissist, psychopath.

This is psychological makeup.

It's called the dark triad.

And any person who's not a fucking narcissist should know about it and should be looking

for these

traits in people.

So you don't date it, you don't work for it, it's not in your life or anything.

It's basically three sides of the triangle: it's narcissism, Machiavellianism, and psychopath.

And just know that all of those are like, they don't have to be 10 out of 10.

You can just be on the spectrum.

And that fucking personality, personality,

you combine that

with the greed of corporations.

That personality is what ascends to the CEO level.

And it rewards them because

every quarter, no matter how much a corporation makes money, It's not enough and they need to make more.

So at some point, what they have to do has to start becoming underhanded, and that's what weeds out decent people.

Same thing in politics.

Why can't we get somebody decent who's not an absolute psycho to run for fucking president?

Because they get weeded out.

Okay?

Like you look at war.

Okay?

You're looking at these fucking missiles just flying into these cities where now, because of cell phones, you can see it.

Just regular people walking around on both sides.

Okay?

Here's the deal.

All normal people who don't have that psychological makeup, they couldn't take a fucking crossbow and just ran in a field and randomly just point it and shoot it without fucking looking to make sure they wouldn't hit anybody.

There's no fucking way, like, if I was in a position of power,

okay, there's no fucking way I would say, you know, shoot these missiles into a fucking city.

I couldn't live with myself.

And the people on the other side, with the same fucking regular person,

I actually care

about not killing somebody, they couldn't do it.

But

you get these fucking dark triad psychos in there and they can fucking do it.

And you watch this, this, I'm bringing it back to this submarine thing.

The guy was a full-on fucking

psycho.

Total fucking narcissist, right?

That right there, right there, you cannot get into a submarine, an airplane, anything where your life is at risk and have a narcissist at the fucking controls.

He's a God.

Nothing's going to happen to him.

And he's not even thinking about you or the risk, your life, or who loves you or whatever, right?

Machiavellian shit.

Anybody who blew the whistle on this guy on his carbon fiber, stupid fucking submarine.

He would ruin their lives.

And yeah, he's a fucking psychopath in that

psychopath is anything from, you don't have to be an axe murder.

It can be literally like petty theft or whatever.

And what this guy was doing was, you know, and lying for no fucking reason.

I guess he had reasons to lie.

But they were showing this guy,

you know, testing this sub out.

And he had this one guy who actually knew what the fuck he was doing, going, like, first of all, you should not be testing this out with any people in it.

And he was just like, he would get like mad.

He would get fucking mad.

So this fucking lunatic got in the goddamn sub himself.

They showed him.

And you heard, as he's going deeper and deeper, you heard the carbon fires snapping.

And he's going, oh, that's not a good sound.

No, you don't like to hear that.

You'd see him every once in a while get a little bit nervous.

Like,

he started calling it seasoning the hull.

Like,

you know,

you got to break some eggs.

You got to break some carbon fiber fiber to make a fucking sub, right?

With every one of those things that was snapping, obviously the whole structure was becoming weaker.

He also had some sort of degree in like physics, but and the guy was saying, but he didn't fucking understand it.

He didn't understand what the fuck he was doing.

I don't think that he didn't understand it.

I don't, he understood it enough to pass the test.

But when you walk around and you think you're a god, you don't understand

mortality.

So I had to shut it off.

It's like all of these people were telling this guy not to do it.

And all it did was get him mad.

And he would stop talking to them.

And then he would like fire them.

And then literally tell them that if they blew the whistle on him, he was going to ruin their lives.

So then they had to like try and carefully get the word out that you should not get into this guy's fucking submarine.

I don't know.

It's.

I highly recommend, especially if you came came from a nice family, that you read up on these fucking people so you realize,

you know, what you're working with, what you're getting in bed with, and all of this shit.

And these fucking people, they lie, they don't give a fuck.

I mean, all the stuff that's going on right now, doesn't all of this stuff sound familiar?

This all sounds familiar to me.

And

these, oh, they got, you know, they got this, they got that, we got a blah, blah, blah, we're making, we're, we're stabilizing this, we're fucking gonna do that, and it's just like

what are you guys really doing?

Because it's never what they're saying,

it's never what they're saying.

What is really happening?

Well, we'll find out in 20 years or 50 years when everybody's dead, you know,

they'll declassify something and then you'll find out what the fuck's really going on.

But I will tell you, watching that submarine thing, you know, one of the questions I've had

just as a person is how is war still legal in 2025?

How is war still legal?

And the reality is, is because the people that ascend to power have that psychological makeup

on all sides.

I'm not pointing a finger at any one side.

You know, the heads of these terrorist groups, to the heads of these countries, they are all fucking psychopaths.

There's some sort of, or, I can't say that they're all the same psychological makeup, but there is some sort of flaw or desire for power or

something in their personality that they can do

the things that

I don't know that war does to people, and just go to bed at night and just go to sleep and get fucking eight hours and not have a problem.

You know,

the whole reason why I saw this thing, they set up NATO after World War II, was

you had a bunch of people alive that lived through World War I and World War II, and they were like, we have to stop doing this, and we need to do everything we can to prevent future generations from experiencing the horrors of war.

That's where we were at.

And then

we sort of broke it up, I think, 20-something years ago when we had the coalition of the willing when no one would go with us.

And we went around it.

And

I don't think going around a group like that

in the long run, I mean, obviously that's not,

why would you go around something in the long run that wants to prevent the horrors of war

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So I highly recommend watching it.

It's,

I mean the footage of this guy going under the water and you're hearing the carbon fiber wires snapping.

Oh dude, and one thing that they did, you know, to seal something on the sub, they took the same shit that, you know, for a spray-on truck bedliner.

He went around any sort of third-party inspections of it.

He's like, yeah, we don't need to fucking do that.

We don't need to fucking do that.

We're not fucking doing that.

And it's just like, I guess once you get out in international waters, they have no authority.

So you just fucking do whatever you wanted to do.

But

that guy and his estate,

you know, whatever's left of it from all of those victims should be sued, sued again, and then taken into civil court, sued, and sued again.

I mean, the guy just

from his own

out-of-control narcissism and whatever

just a completely avoidable tragedy and he killed all of those fucking people it's unbelievable um

anyway

so yeah look that look that shit up the dark triad

telling you um

like my next

Google search is going to be narcissists and the people who work for for them.

It's unreal.

They ascend to these levels of power

because they will get the fucking air quote job done no matter what.

And then they have this power and then they have the ability to destroy the lives of decent people.

And they will do it because they don't give a fuck, because they don't feel feelings.

Because in their head, you're wrong.

They're a god.

How dare you question me these rules and regulations that's for mere mortals.

I know what I'm doing

Sorry, I don't know.

I know that was a little dry and a little dark, but you gotta fucking uh

You gotta see it

Everyone who's alive

from that fucking

ocean gate it's kind of funny that he would call it that water gate gate, ocean gate, like something dishonest.

He almost was like admitting that something

ocean gate.

Why gate?

Gateway down to the Titanic?

I have no idea.

And I also, to be honest with you, I have

no understanding why video footage of the Titanic

isn't enough.

You know, I think because it happened so long ago, people forget about all the lives lost.

You know what I mean?

Like, I've never gone down to that

9-11 World Trade Center monument thing.

I just can't get myself to do it.

It's just too fucking sad to me.

And I know I'm going to go down there, and someone's going to be doing something or saying something disrespectful.

It's going to fucking piss me off.

So I just avoid

going down there.

So, why the fuck you would want to go down there to see this fucking boat where everybody,

you know, died that tragic, lonely, fucking, terrifying death is beyond me.

Anyway.

Now that I've said all that, check it out, man.

It's very educational.

And if you watch it, don't just look at this guy like dude this guy's a fucking idiot

this guy's got a couple of screws loose no that guy was the ceo of a company and got a whole bunch i don't know where he got his money on it you know but how those people work it's never their money he had a startup submarine company

that went through no sort of regulations from any sort of

governing third party and he took a bunch of people down and he fucking killed them.

It's beyond this guy's a psycho.

This guy is the typical fucking person that is a CEO that denies health insurance claims for a living.

Yeah, we got your money, we're not paying for your dad's sick.

No, he's gonna die now.

And I'm gonna go get a sandwich, and I'm not even gonna fucking think about this, even though I heard you crying on the phone.

Anyway,

so there's that.

So, anyway, my lovely wife and my kids are in town and

I ended up,

what did I do?

The first night

they got in.

They got in late night.

I had done the show

and

came in

to the apartment and everything.

And I had ordered them grilled cheese sandwiches and french fries.

And they sat down and they were both punch-drunk from the flight, both my kids.

And they were being silly and they were just cracking each other up.

Like they were eating french fries, barely touching the sandwiches, and they were just laughing their asses off.

And I just sat there and enjoyed it and I let them do it.

And I felt good about it because that's the kind of shit my generation, when you were growing up, if you were kids and you were laughing and having a good time, you're like, hey, come on, knock it off.

Stop enjoying yourselves.

So I let them be silly as hell.

And then finally, after like, you know, 10 minutes, I said, guys, guys, come on, you got to eat your sandwiches.

You're just eating the fries.

And then my son jumped off his little stool and came over, got right in my face, did some silly dance,

but with half a smile on his face.

And I just sort of stared at him, you know,

like, really?

And then he laughed and he went back, sat down, and he started eating his sandwich.

And it made me feel good, you know,

that I let my kids be kids.

And obviously it's great to see

my lovely wife.

We've been cracking up, laughing when we're not watching people fucking diving down to their death.

I literally had to shut it off before it got to the fucking end.

So, anyway,

one more week.

One more week.

I can't believe it.

It feels regular because I have a show tonight.

But,

yeah, I cannot.

I didn't think this week was ever going to come.

May was the most difficult because I didn't see my family one day in the month of May.

I've never done that.

I saw them in February.

I saw them in March.

I saw them in April.

And then May, just the way it worked out with school and my wife's schedule, they couldn't get out here.

I did see them June 1st.

I just flew out.

I said, fuck this.

I got to see him, you know.

So those were the dog days of doing the play, and I didn't think that was ever going to end.

So I'm so excited.

It already feels like it's over because I'm back together with everybody.

And

yeah,

it was definitely amazing.

So anyway,

all right, let's do the reads here for the week.

All right, what do we got?

What do we got?

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Okay, here we go.

We're into the questions, everyone.

We're into the questions.

All right.

Shout outs to you.

What's up, Billy Bourbonless?

Bourbonless.

Oh, yeah.

I've been feeling like drinking lately.

I don't know.

Every once in a while.

Like once a year, it just pops up.

But I won't.

Just wanted to give you a couple of quick shout-outs.

Last say,

I took the train from Boston with my wife to come watch Glenn Gary.

Holy shit, man.

Everyone crushed it.

That's right, man.

That's right.

That is right.

Everyone kills it.

My only complaint was it went by too fast.

I could have watched another hour of that.

Also, I hadn't heard, hadn't seen much of Kieran Culkin since Home Alone won, so I was amazed at how good he was.

He was on succession and won an Oscar this year.

You must be a sports fan.

About two years ago, I gave up booze, and it has been a total game changer.

I'm not too hungover to play with my kids on the weekends.

I lost 35 pounds and look and feel 10 years younger.

That's amazing.

Being a longtime fan/slash podcast listener, I would definitely say your journey to give up alcohol inspired me, so thank you for that.

Well, there you go.

I also haven't smoked a cigar since January and have no desire to do so.

About the same time I quit drinking, I took up hot yoga.

Dude, those fucking clothes.

I did that one time and that was enough for me.

I thought I was going to die.

H-I-I-T classes.

So light weightlifting and cardio in a hundred degree room.

Oh, hot yoga hit classes.

Dude, that sounds dangerous to me.

It sounds gay.

No, it sounds...

It sounds dangerous to me, but this guy goes, it sounds gay.

And it took a little while for me to get over the fact I was one of two guys in most most classes.

Hey man, that's not necessarily a bad thing if you're single.

Hey, you know what I'm saying?

All right.

Hit on those broads after class.

Ruin their experience.

Make it about you.

But you can't argue with the results.

My joints feel better.

I'm leaner and the stretching is great.

I know you were always looking for ways to improve so I thought I'd put that in your radar.

Thank you for making me laugh on your regular basis and all of the other entertainment you have given.

Star Wars, F is for family, Leo, old dads, the list goes on.

Cheers to you, Billy.

Oh, thank you very much.

I, you know, I like doing yoga.

Hey, we all do.

But

I do have to say, yoga classes are nasty.

The level of sweating and the bare feet and all of that, I would definitely recommend flip-flops right next to your mat and never walking barefoot on the sweaty boards from the the previous class.

Also, you have to bring your own fucking mat.

All right, this is just a regular class.

Forget about the hot yoga with the person.

It's like everybody stepped out of a hot tub.

It's pretty nasty.

It's pretty fucking nasty.

I don't know about hot yoga.

I would like to try it.

If there wasn't somebody right next to you and every once in a while, you know, when you had to go a little to the left and a little right, you know, your hands hit or your feet hit it's just it's it's a lot it's a lot but um

i don't know i think i would try it i would i think i would try it again i'd go with my wife so the person i'm bumping into is her um at least on one side all right nerds in boston

hey billy ginger snap

Thanks for bringing attention to nerds taking over the world economy.

Aside from creating wealth inequality, I don't think many people realize how much these nerds are fucking up city landscapes and culture across the US yeah well certainly people who think that immigrants are the problem like these this is the reason why your cost of living

is going through the roof this is class this is part of the dark triad fucking Machiavelliism you fucking you know you start rumors and talk shit about other people and that's what they're doing they're they're pointing the finger at people jumping jumping over a

wall you know to go pick food in a farm for like you know 20 bucks a month they're the reason it doesn't make any mathematically and then meanwhile

you got all these people like

who are billionaires and their workers have no benefits no benefits and have to worry about making their rent or mortgage every month It's not the immigrant.

It's these fucking cunts.

And there's a finite amount of money.

And if one person has that much of it,

it's a simple equation.

It has this many employees, and he's only going to allot this much amount of money for employment

expenses, then, you know,

that's how it's created.

It's not created by illegal immigrants, undocumented immigrants.

And by the way, how about those dirt bags and ice?

Here's something.

If you're doing something that's actually righteous and it's the correct thing to do, you don't have to wear a mask.

Unless you're protesting against power, man.

I lived here in Boston for 15 years, this person says.

To use your own home city, for example, I've lived here in Boston for 15 years.

Biotech finance and real estate bros have taken over the city and forced out many musicians and other people who gave the city its personality.

They created a small city out of nothing in South Boston that has the same personality as them.

None.

Exactly.

Now there are almost no small music or comedy clubs left, and the outflow of people to suburbs has us in crippling traffic every day.

Maybe some of these folks are doing good work, but a large percentage are,

quote, raising funds in morally ambiguous ways for their own gain at the expense of everyone else.

I love hearing you and other elderly folk

talk about the old days up here because it sounds like a completely different place the way you describe it.

Can we reverse the culture shift?

And if so, where do we start?

Keep fighting the good fight, dude, a frustrated Bostonian.

You got to get the word out that you have to,

you got to get these people to stop, you got to stop following the finger of what they're pointing at.

They've been doing this for fucking ever.

When I was a kid, they used to point to people that weren't white and say, oh, it's these people that are on welfare, milking the system.

This is the reason why,

and they act like people on welfare.

We're living in a brand new house

and

living lifestyles of the rich and famous.

And every single time, the person that was telling you who the problem was

was incredibly rich and powerful.

And that's what they've always done.

They've always pit the middle class against the lower class while the upper class becomes more and more exclusive and richer and richer and richer.

And back then, you know, in the 60s,

I think like a CEO, they said something made like 30 times what a regular employee made.

The CEO now makes 400 times that.

So there you go right there.

There's all your benefits.

There's everything.

You know, when I was growing up, you know, people had

They had health insurance through their job.

They had enough money and one week's pay was your rent or your mortgage.

That's how you lived in the middle class.

That was one of the few things we knew about

finance: that, you know,

if where you were living was more than one week's pay,

you were living outside of your means.

And then you had the other three weeks to save up money.

take a vacation or you know buy a VCR you know if you wanted to splurge it's not like

the middle class you were you were living this crazy lifestyle but it was nice.

It was comfortable.

And

I would say in those areas, it was a lot better back then.

Other areas, you know, obviously it wasn't.

I think we've come further in

understanding that, you know, there's other groups of people out there and actions hurt them and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

But these fucking nerds are absolutely

heartless.

They are the modern day robber barons.

and they have all the money, and they have all the power, and they have all the media.

So, those are the stories.

The stories that they're going to put out is that basically, you know, the reason why you can't afford a house is because somebody who came here illegally and has no money and does not have the ability to vote or change policy or influence a politician is somehow the thing that fucked is fucking you over.

And it's just not true.

It's not true.

And I've seen it in my business where one small group came in, took over this business, and now all of a sudden, you know, they're going, oh, the business is shrinking.

It's like, yeah, into your pocket.

Now all of a sudden, people that for decades wrote on shows, worked on shows, produced it, they can't get jobs.

They can't get paid.

And that's it.

And they make a big...

They make a big production about how much money they're playing a handful of actors or comedians or something like that, but they're fucking everybody else for their own benefit.

It's disgusting.

It's just

an unforgivable level of greed.

And they sleep like fucking babies and they just go, this is how business is done.

And they have no moral responsibility

past that statement.

And I can tell you this, kids, anytime anybody says, well, this is how business is done, that means they can't morally justify what they're trying to do to you in the business deal that you're negotiating

they can't say what they're doing because it's so wrong so they go well this is how business is done um

you know that happened to me recently in a business i i had this project it was really successful i came back

you know to do another project and i'm thinking well that one was a success They're going to back the truck up.

I finally fucking made it.

They fucking came in and their offer was lower than what they offered me on the first one.

And I'm like, what the fuck?

They go, this is how business is done.

I'm like, no, it isn't.

No, it isn't.

You come into the league

with a rookie contract, and then you go out and you hit a bunch of home runs.

The next time your contract's up, you get a bump.

That's how business is done.

So

this is the world of the nerds.

And I want all you feminists out there, all these years, you've been watching the frat boys.

Oh, my God,

they're the fucking example of male, toxic male behavior.

And you left the fucking nerds alone.

Maybe you should revisit and look at these fucking nerds because they are the most heartless people I have ever run into.

All right, best friend passed away.

Oh, Jesus, I've been there.

Hey, Billy, good shape.

Ah, look at that.

No more Billy Mentits.

I love it.

I'm writing on here because a little over a year ago, my best friend of 13 years died.

God rest his soul.

Absolutely devastated.

And when it happened,

oh, absolutely devastated when it happened, and still

even until today.

Oh, yeah, dude.

That, like,

it never

quite goes away.

You get, you numb it, you know, you can maybe start talking about it and get less emotional, but

yeah.

Anyways, the person says, I'm 29 years old, and unfortunately, there is a twist to this.

Out of the grief, his girlfriend and I started to lean on each other.

Oh, no.

Oh God.

All the women in the fucking world.

And we eventually got together after a few months.

Your best friend of 13 years dies, and within two months, you're banging his girlfriend.

Ex-girlfriend, he died, right?

But they never officially

broke up.

Metaphysically, they did.

Is that the right word?

I don't know.

Wow.

I'm going to guess that he's been having some fucked up dreams and his dead buddy is visiting him.

He goes, it's helped a lot with this whole

ordeal.

On the other hand, now we've been in a relationship in this relationship for a while, and she's now living with me

after eight months because her lease was up.

Dude, can I ask you a question?

Does your food have an almond aftertaste?

Sinite joke.

Evidently, mine was out to expire also when I renewed mine, but put her down as an occupant.

Okay, this is going to go one of two ways.

I think in your grief with heightened emotions, you guys confuse that with love and now she's living there and now you got to get rid of her.

I don't know.

This is

the leveling of anxiety I had, like when I was watching the Tiny Ocean Gate.

Okay,

I'm going to be frank on this and say that after a little over a year, I do not share the physical attraction to her anymore, or maybe I never did.

Probably a grief thing,

and I honestly feel like a piece of shit for having it go this far.

All right,

Okay.

She's a great woman and she's a tent on everything else other than my personal feeling of attraction towards her.

And most of all, just thinking of my friend every time I see her.

And fuck her.

Let's not leave that out.

I can't talk about him with her the way I would with my other friends.

Something in my gut says I should tell her to leave, but on the other hand, I really like like the company.

That's not a reason, dude.

Having said that, I think it's awful of me to feel discontent with this, but I don't want to lead her on.

Any advice would help.

Thank you, and don't fuck yourself over like I did.

Hoping you're doing well.

Yeah, dude.

Well,

what is the lesson here?

The next time one of your close friends dies, don't start fucking his girlfriend.

And if you do,

don't have her move in

any advice

yes

let's get the obvious out of the way this

is gonna suck

wow

is this gonna suck

I would go to Home Depot no fuck that I'd go to a mom and pop hardware store I would buy two plastic buckets

one for each of her eyes, for the amount of tears that are going to come out.

But, dude, you got to do this.

You got to man up.

There's only one way.

There's only one way to get into a pool, and there's only one way to break up with somebody.

And it's the same fucking answer.

You just jump in.

You don't go down the steps.

You don't do that.

You just fucking jump in.

So,

whenever I had to break up with somebody,

it couldn't just be in my head.

It had to be real.

So, I would write it down on a piece of paper.

I would write down, go to the gym, write jokes, grocery shop, break up with so-and-so.

Because

you're going to avoid it.

So,

breaking up.

All right, the good thing is it's good and bad that you live with her.

It's bad that you live with her because then you're going to break up and then that, I don't know, you go to the couch.

I don't know what happens here.

But

at least you don't say, hey, we have to talk tonight.

You can't ever say that to a woman because the second you say we have to talk, the talk is happening.

They, on the other hand, could say, we need to talk tonight.

And then for the whole, you go, okay.

And then for the whole day, you're doing fucking

somersaults, mentally torturing.

She's gonna break up with me.

Oh my god, what the fuck was this?

I waste this money, and then you show up at night.

It's just gonna be like,

my mother's coming to town, and I was hoping we could take her out on breakfast on Thursday.

It's just like, you couldn't just fucking say that, right?

They know what they're doing.

They, oh, they know what they're doing.

So,

I wouldn't tell her, we need to talk.

I would just sit down and say it.

Don't say it beforehand.

Just say, we need to talk.

All right?

And I would just say, obviously, with losing so-and-so

was devastating for both of us, and we were in a heightened emotional state,

which led to our relationship.

And now, 13 months later, as the emotions have calmed down, I'm finding that my emotions for you weren't as strong as I thought.

What does that mean?

My emotions aren't strong enough to continue this relationship.

And there, you jumped in the pool.

And then

let her

process that.

Hopefully, maybe she was thinking the same thing.

Hopefully, when she looks at you, she keeps thinking of him or whatever.

You know, if you want to, like...

Further explain it.

It's like, also, whenever I look at you, I think of so-and-so.

It's affecting my ability to move.

That's a cop-out.

Just be like,

you know,

I don't know, dude.

This is a fucking brutal one.

Just don't be totally honest.

Like, when my friend was alive, as much as I liked him, I always wanted to, you know, not gonna lie, I was attracted to you, but out of respect for him, I waited till he was dead until I made a move on you.

Sorry, I had to do one joke in there.

Yeah, I would just say that, and I would get out of the thing, and

it's going to suck.

You know, and then there's going to be this thing.

She's probably going to feel, okay, I lost this other guy.

I lost my apartment.

I gained this relationship.

Now I'm losing this relationship.

And then wait a minute, where am I going to live?

That's what she's probably going to think.

And then there's going to be like,

you know, if you live with a woman, legal, you know, legally married or not, they

don't know what it is about them that they all always feel like they're getting screwed.

Like they somehow didn't get something out of it.

Like they didn't live with you and their rent wasn't cut in half.

It's like the way that women view sex.

They view sex like they did you a favor.

They act as though it doesn't feel good to them, that they didn't also have sex, that they also didn't have an orgasm.

You know what I mean?

They like just the whole way that they have this thing fucking broken down.

So fortunately, you're not legally bound to this person.

So, I mean, I don't know how that works, but like, I would get out of this relationship

and I would begin the grieving process

of losing your friend

in a way that you can,

it doesn't fuck your life up.

All right.

And if you want to feel better about yourself, you're not the only person that I've you're not the first person

that has ever done something like that.

And yeah, it's never viewed in a positive way

by any of your friends.

Especially two months later.

Wow.

Wow.

All right.

Good luck with that, sir.

I do not envy your position.

I hope it's fast and not furious.

All right.

So-called friends screwing me.

I've been here too.

You know, you live long enough.

These are the things that happen.

Dear Billy Bloodnut.

Why?

Why?

Why so mean?

Longtime listener, huge fan.

I have a friend that was also my accountant.

Oh, brother.

I have a friend that was also my accountant.

Oh, Jesus, what could go wrong?

I run a small family business.

Oh, no.

Shout out to all the mom and dad store owners.

Okay, I run a small family business that is doing okay, but like most small businesses, struggling to fend off the corporate cunts.

Anyways,

I went to find my friend to get his advice on refinancing my business to another bank so I could better manage my finances and mortgage and get a better deal.

He recommended a local broker.

I'm already going to say he had a fucking side deal with this guy.

That's the thing that I've learned the most in business.

Everybody,

so many people have a side deal.

If you're ever in business with somebody and they are getting, you know, you're supposed to be your friend and they are giving you business advice and what they're saying does not make sense,

that probably means they have a side deal.

Whatever direction they're sending you in, they have a side deal.

Anyway, I went to my friend to get advice.

Okay, refinancy, blah, blah, blah.

He recommended a local broker who he said was good and he had used the same broker recently to refinance himself.

Turns out they were very good and helped me immensely, which is great.

Okay.

There goes my theory.

However, after signing off on all the paperwork and getting finances sorted, I noticed my so-called friend received a $1,500 commission.

Yeah, he had a side deal.

He never once indicated to me that would be the case.

Do you think he should have told me that was part of the deal and at the very least offered to split it with me?

100% full disclosure, he should have said, just to let you know,

I get a $1,500 commission to everybody that I send this way.

No, he has no reason to split it with you.

The deal was not made with you.

The deal was made with him.

But you need, in order for you to make

a good decision here,

a fully informed decision, you can't make a fully informed decision without all the information.

I'm relieved that this person was actually good.

This person says, all this after paying him thousands of dollars to be my accountant for 12 years, Would love your take on this.

Cheers and go fuck yourself.

So you said so far so far called friends screwing me.

Yeah, he wasn't honest.

Well, you learned something.

You have to know that, like,

whoever you're in business with, whoever they're recommending, they have a relationship with them on some level.

I've done business with them before, and that, you know,

people do this in business.

Okay, now

the businessman goes, this is how business is done.

And that is

a very vague,

vague statement that could mean anything.

From like, you know,

he scratches my back, I scratches his, we know, you know, we help each other out.

It could be is as innocent as that, or it could literally be like, let's get into business and become like this business serial killer team and just fuck people over and do some American greed shit.

It could be that.

He doesn't owe you any money, but he did.

I would sit down and confront him and just say, listen, I'm happy with what these people did, but you know, I am not happy with the fact that you did not disclose the fact that you got a $1,500 commission for sending me in that direction.

I would like to think that you're sending me in that direction,

in whatever direction you're sending me in, is because it's going to be the best thing for me first, not going to be

adding an extra $1,500

into your pocket.

And it's like,

I'm already paying you to find this guy.

So it's like you're sort of double dipping here.

Yeah, so I would have a talk with this person.

I don't think it's

at least he sent you to somebody good.

But

this is why you don't do business with friends or family.

Because this is what ends up happening.

Because

it's a dirty, disgusting.

Money is just

the worst thing ever created.

For this exact reason, for what it does to a certain

person, you know, when they say money is the root of all evil, it's really like,

but it's such a small amount of the population, I feel, that would literally do anything to get money and power, you know?

pro you know war for profit

turning food into poison

you know knowingly giving people stuff that has like side effects, you know, medicines and shit like that, just for your own profit.

Like,

it's a dirty business.

You know, those are two really sad stories to end on.

Losing friends and finding out friends that are still alive will fuck you in a second for more money.

But these are the lessons that you have to learn as men and women as you go through life.

But what you have to do is, you know,

oh my god, Star Wars, don't don't go to the dark side.

Like right now, more than

ever, is decent people need to be speaking up about what's going on in everything that I've been talking about.

Businesses, wars, all of this stuff.

People need to speak up.

And you watch whenever they're having

Whenever they make a big move and everybody's like

restless saying this is not going to be good, this is not going to be good for everyone.

This is only going to be good for a small amount of people.

If you open your mouth, you watch how they fucking destroy you.

They destroy your career, they destroy your personal life, they just go on this fucking warpath.

And, you know,

that's always a good tell when you see stuff like that.

You see somebody says something about somebody, blows a whistle, and then all of a sudden there's this big scandal about them, or whatever.

That just further shirs up that whistleblower's point.

Because if what the person he was accusing of was actually a good person, they wouldn't have to ruin this person's life.

They could just use the facts of what was actually going on to save their reputation.

They wouldn't have to destroy the other person's.

So, there you go.

This was more educational than funny.

But that's only if you believe what I'm saying.

So, I have no idea.

All right, that's it.

That is the podcast.

Go fuck yourselves, and I will check in on you on Thursday.