Hockey, Heroine, Grandmother | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 6-5-25

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago. Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is now streaming on Hulu.
30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd.

Speaker 1 Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 1 Watch Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, now streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundled subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 2 Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Byrne. It's time for the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning podcast.
And I'm just checking in.

Speaker 2 Checking in on you.

Speaker 1 What's going on? How are you?

Speaker 2 Oh, Billy Freckles. I just wolfed down to breakfast, so I apologize if my

Speaker 2 stomach rumblings.

Speaker 2 I didn't eat for like 12 hours and then I just

Speaker 2 made myself my favorite breakfast, which which is basically scrambled eggs, cheesy scrambled eggs with chives, burned up bacon, and a cup of coffee.

Speaker 2 No toast, no fucking potatoes, none of that shit. You know, if I had an avocado, slice it up raw on the side.
I fan it out like a deck of cards. You know, I like to treat myself every once in a while.

Speaker 2 But that's not what I'm here to talk to you about. I watched game one of the Stanley Cup final last night.

Speaker 2 Put it on in the third, you know, I had the gig last night. Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 I was able to watch like, I think I got 10 minutes left in the third period. It was already tied up 3-3.
I know Edmonton scored first, and then Florida seemed to go ahead.

Speaker 2 And I think they were up 3-2, and then Edmonton scored the tie.

Speaker 2 And then it goes into overtime, and I was like, I got a bad feeling. This is going to be some double overtime fucking thing.

Speaker 2 And, And,

Speaker 2 you know, you know, the second they get an overtime, nobody wants to make a mistake. So they play like, you know, really safe hockey.
And then it's like, they're like, triple fucking overtime.

Speaker 2 Unbelievable. It's triple overtime because everybody's so afraid to make a mistake.

Speaker 2 Well, somebody finally made a mistake on the Panthers, was clearing the puck out of his own end, and it went into the crowd, got a delay of game.

Speaker 2 So Florida had four guys on the ice, obviously. And

Speaker 2 somebody made an incredible move

Speaker 1 like half wall, as Jack Edwards would say.

Speaker 2 And then

Speaker 2 I think it might have been McDavid. I don't think it was.
They passed him McDavid, and then just a perfect saucer pass over to Leon Dreisitel.

Speaker 1 Top, what was it? Top.

Speaker 2 How do you look at the net? Is it house right or is it stage left?

Speaker 2 If you're facing the goal,

Speaker 2 I was very, very happy because I felt like whoever won game one was going to win the series.

Speaker 2 Well, no, I shouldn't say it. I feel like if Edmonton's going to win the series, they had to win game one

Speaker 2 because the Florida Panthers are absolutely fucking relentless. So you need them to be chasing you.
You can't have them out front.

Speaker 2 They just have too much playoff experience. They got too many guys that have their name on the cup.

Speaker 2 I just just really thought it was super important for them to win game one. I got to put on the AC.
It's like fucking 90 degrees here in the city.

Speaker 2 You know, they already won the cup last year and then they added Brad Marcham, who's also fucking relentless.

Speaker 2 And I just thought it was super important for them to win that game one. I feel like if Florida wins game one, No way Edmonton beats them.
I just don't think they do. I just think

Speaker 2 they're just too experienced. experienced and um

Speaker 2 i mean we were up three games to one against that team and they came back and beat us um

Speaker 2 yeah so anyway uh congratulations so i'm sort of torn here like this is the deal i want to see edmonton win

Speaker 2 because i want to see canada get the cup and i also loved those edmonton teams when i was growing up um and then i want to see brad marchon

Speaker 2 get his name on the cup. So either way, whoever wins, I'll be happy.
But still, I don't like the Panthers. I just don't like them.

Speaker 2 I respect them. I just don't, I don't like him.
I still got too many

Speaker 2 my emotions are still too close to the surface to root for that fucking team. But I do root for Marshawn.
He had a goal last night, of course. The guy fucking delivers.
So that's where I am at that.

Speaker 2 And I'm guessing that the NBA finals,

Speaker 2 it's the Stanley Cup final in the NBA finals.

Speaker 2 I think that starts tonight. And

Speaker 2 I don't know. For what I'm hearing from people, it's not going to be much of a

Speaker 2 much of a fucking

Speaker 2 series. I don't know.
I don't think that's going to be the case. We'll see.
We shall see.

Speaker 2 And with that,

Speaker 2 I am in the final month of Glen Gary Glen Ross. I can't believe it.

Speaker 2 This Saturday, I'll only have three weeks of shows left.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 we're still having so much fun,

Speaker 2 and uh,

Speaker 2 you know, someday I'll tell you guys some stories.

Speaker 2 As I've said, I've said before, I can't remember if I already said this on this podcast because I had to start it and stop it.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 2 I can't remember if I told you this, but yeah, we

Speaker 2 there's the show we're giving you, and then there's at this point the show we're doing for each other, trying to make each other laugh. And it's been such a great time,

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 2 you know, people keep asking me, hey, are you going to do Broadway again?

Speaker 2 And I would absolutely love to do it. But my fear is I kind of, there's no way it's going to be,

Speaker 2 it's no way it's going to be better than this.

Speaker 2 Because this cast, everybody is just, everybody is fucking cool. And we're all laughing, all hanging out.

Speaker 2 The camaraderie, the vibe, and it just, it's everybody, the people that work with the cast,

Speaker 2 you know, the union guys, everybody, we're just all vibing. And

Speaker 2 also, we're at the Palace Theater, which they raised up.

Speaker 2 So the dressing rooms are all brand new. And I visited some friends that are working in these old theaters on Broadway.
And it's like.

Speaker 2 You know, I got a friend of mine who's working in an old moldy theater. There's like mold in the theater.

Speaker 2 Like the level level that they treat these performers

Speaker 2 in some of these theaters, these old-ass theaters, and I don't know who the hell owns them. I don't know what the fuck they're doing, but

Speaker 2 you know, they could sweep up a little bit, put it that way. So we're in like the newest theater, I feel,

Speaker 2 in humane conditions, and everybody's fucking cool. And it's a quick play, and it's like sort of the perfect part for me to play.

Speaker 2 So I'm kind of nervous about doing it again, but I will definitely do it again. I got the bug and and the right thing comes along

Speaker 2 and enough time in the future or whatever. And I could figure out a better way to do it with my family, I would 100% do it again.

Speaker 2 Yeah, it's

Speaker 2 been a great time. So anyway, with that and with that,

Speaker 2 MotoGP comes back this weekend. Very excited.
It's been a weird couple of races with the rain in France and the restart in England,

Speaker 2 which is good because it kind of like leveled it out. Like Mark Marquez is in striking distance of points with Mark Marquez.
Mark Marquez was looking like he was going to win every fucking race.

Speaker 2 And then all of a sudden, you know, the season starts going and all of a sudden, you know,

Speaker 2 it's not a done fucking deal there.

Speaker 2 I took a day for me today. I finally got a, I got my first massage since, I don't know, like a year.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I finally went because I was walking down the street and had to keep stopping and stretching. I felt like my Achilles was going to snap.

Speaker 2 And I got all the old man shit here. I got, what do you need? Foam roller, the little fucking Theragun.
You want the fucking massage?

Speaker 1 Booth.

Speaker 2 You want some massage both up against the wall, on the floor, lacrosse ball for your cap. I got the whole fucking thing going on, and it's still

Speaker 2 tight as a drum. So

Speaker 2 I went and got some work done on me.

Speaker 2 I feel really good and I got to go take the Epsom salt bath. But I got to tell you, it's fucking being an old man, you know,

Speaker 2 stretching, continuing to work out an Epsom salt baths. And I kind of forgot about the massage.
You got to do that shit, you know?

Speaker 2 Listen to me. I get one massage and all of a sudden I'm giving you guys fucking health tips.
I'm just saying I feel better.

Speaker 2 I I feel better. I had a little, uh, little, little fucking spring in my step going down the goddamn street there.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 2 Jesus, this city's getting fucking wild. It's still cool, but it's getting wild.
Like, I was hanging with a friend of mine.

Speaker 2 We're sitting at a coffee shop, and then, like, 10 feet down is some guy with his pants down, shooting heroin into the outside of his calf.

Speaker 2 And I was like, wow.

Speaker 2 You know, there's a lot of fucking older people out there going, like, you know what? The 90s, you missed it. You didn't grow up in the 90s.
The 90s was just the best decade.

Speaker 2 That took me back to the 90s. That's the when

Speaker 2 people forget, you know, you're just looking, you're just glorifying it. The 90s were not awesome.
You were young. That's what it was.

Speaker 2 There were people the age you are now

Speaker 2 in the 90s going, what in the fuck has happened to the world?

Speaker 2 And they were going, like, oh my god, the 1950s, you fucking missed it. Nobody's missing anything.

Speaker 2 You're just old now.

Speaker 2 So that shit,

Speaker 2 that was when I first moved to New York City. It was Wu-Tang, it was the Fujis,

Speaker 2 it was fucking people nodding off on heroin. And it was Rudy Giuliani coming in being like, we're going to fucking make this city white and safe again.

Speaker 2 Times Square is gonna be corporate white safe again.

Speaker 2 Yeah, he just whited it up,

Speaker 2 and you know, they never did anything about the problems, they just removed the problems. I don't know where all of those people went, but I don't think if

Speaker 2 you know, you put a Disney store in Times Square, that person isn't addicted to heroin anymore. I don't know how it works.

Speaker 2 But anyway,

Speaker 2 still good coffee.

Speaker 2 It was definitely still good coffee. Yeah, but yeah, old New York's coming back.
You know, I'm fucking having to step over people coming down my stairs, out of the building. You know,

Speaker 2 people gathering themselves, people just hanging out. I will say the level of fucking like weed use in New York City is insane.

Speaker 2 At all hours of the day, and

Speaker 2 all these different ways that you can consume or ingest weed

Speaker 2 that are odorless, like gummies, oils,

Speaker 2 putting it into food and all of this stuff.

Speaker 2 And like,

Speaker 2 you know, I go to the big gay gym in the morning and then I hit my coffee shop 10.30, 11, and I walk down the street 10.30, 11 on a weekday, and I'm smelling weed everywhere.

Speaker 2 But nobody seems to care because

Speaker 2 that's just the people smoking it. Forget about somebody that's like micro-dosing or doing whatever these fucking things are.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 2 you know, I think it's safe to say that weed is very addictive.

Speaker 2 Like, I would say if you are functioning in society and it's 11 in the morning on a fucking Tuesday and you are just fucking smoking weed,

Speaker 1 uh,

Speaker 2 you have some sort of issue right

Speaker 2 for people who smoke weed no man i just took a couple of hits i get a nice little fucking you know

Speaker 2 then i can kind of deal with my day and you know i just kind of you know man

Speaker 2 you know right but if you were sitting there and you had like those little fucking nips oh i think i talked about this last podcast if you had one of these fucking little nips

Speaker 2 people would be checking in on you like dude i i think you got a problem man hey there's nothing worry you know nothing wrong with cutting loose on the the weekends, having a couple of beers.

Speaker 2 You know, three, four beer, as that guy in Canada said,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 2 one, two drinks a week. Well, what's that gonna do for you?

Speaker 2 You know, I think if you're home by yourself,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 I think there's nothing wrong with having three, four beer.

Speaker 2 Sometimes I'll have like five or six beer.

Speaker 2 Fucking love that guy.

Speaker 2 So, anyway, I got a show coming up at the Beacon Theater.

Speaker 2 So, old Billy's been going out to the clubs and everything and

Speaker 2 after my shoes. But I definitely want to watch this NHL series, man.

Speaker 2 The Stanley Cup final. I just got a feeling.
I just felt like it was Edmonton's time.

Speaker 2 So, but we shall see. We shall see.

Speaker 2 Oh, we shall fucking see.

Speaker 2 Speaking of which, when I was going to my

Speaker 2 massage

Speaker 2 today,

Speaker 2 I didn't go to my usual coffee shop. There was one up the street that I wanted to try.

Speaker 2 And there was always a line there and everything. And then I went in

Speaker 2 and it blew my mind, right? There was like coffee.

Speaker 2 They had like a large and small latte, large and small fucking cappuccino. All I see is plastic cups.
And I'm like, this place sucks.

Speaker 2 Because that's my thing. I need real glasses.
And there's only one size.

Speaker 2 There's no such thing as a large cappuccino.

Speaker 2 You know, there's no such thing. That is some American shit.

Speaker 2 If you go to the fucking coffee chat, they tell you what it is. Everything gets fucking supersized over here.

Speaker 2 Why is

Speaker 2 Do you realize how fucked up this country is? This country tries to make its own people sick so it can make money off of them. It's fucking unbelievable.

Speaker 2 I'm seeing all of this shit

Speaker 2 about like

Speaker 2 seed oils and all of this stuff and how they paid off the fucking American Heart Association to look the other fucking way so they could put and then like heart disease was not a fucking problem.

Speaker 2 According to fucking Instagram

Speaker 2 I don't know I you know

Speaker 2 I love how Luigi is a fucking terrorist but these fucking CEOs that poisoned our food supply aren't

Speaker 2 they're beyond terrorist at least the terrorist bombs what they feel is the fucking enemy these guys are attacking their own fucking people

Speaker 2 but you know what they're what

Speaker 2 they got a lot of money and they pay it to the politicians so they they are not murderers. They are not treasonous people.

Speaker 2 But if you're some regular Joe and you walk up and you take a shot at one of them, all of a sudden, oh my god, this guy's a fucking terrorist.

Speaker 2 That's what I learned from that one.

Speaker 2 That's what I learned on that Luigi story. It isn't what you do, it's who you are and who you do it to that determines how they define you,

Speaker 2 which determines whether CNN and Fox News understand what you did and is behind it, or are confused. Air quote.

Speaker 2 Why would somebody do something like this?

Speaker 2 Subtext,

Speaker 2 health insurance companies advertise on our network. We don't understand why someone would be motivated.
What is the motivation?

Speaker 1 Gee, I don't know.

Speaker 2 Everybody pays in, and when

Speaker 2 it's time for them to take care of us, they say to go fuck yourself, and they let you die.

Speaker 2 I mean, that's a good place to start, right?

Speaker 2 Wouldn't you think?

Speaker 1 Would you?

Speaker 2 Anyway,

Speaker 2 one show today,

Speaker 2 7 p.m. So I got my whole day, and I don't have any stress anymore because I got the lines down.
I finally was able to get a little fucking comfortable where I'm like, dude, this is like your act.

Speaker 2 You You know how it goes. All right.
You don't, do you fucking sit there and babble your act before you go on stage? It's like, no, I don't. But I also

Speaker 2 can say whatever the fuck I want, you know, if and when I mess up. But

Speaker 2 I still, I still think there is like,

Speaker 2 I guess like an element of that. So anyway, this is my last week of being 56 years old,

Speaker 2 you know.

Speaker 2 And next week I turned 57, in case you couldn't do the math. And you know what? I'm excited.
I'm excited to be 57. 57, yeah, it just like feels

Speaker 2 great. You know, don't you love when people, when old people do that shit?

Speaker 2 Yeah, like 57 is like the new 26. No, it isn't.
No, it isn't, lady. Fucking one-piece bathing suit with something fucking wrapped around your waist, please.
Thank you. Thank you.
That'll be enough.

Speaker 2 Thank you. Thank you.
I get it. I get it.
You can't handle that. You're an old bag now.
All right, I get it.

Speaker 2 That doesn't mean we have to look at you in your Bo Derrick bathing suit saying that you feel fucking good about yourself.

Speaker 2 No one wants to see that.

Speaker 2 You know, you can say a lot of things about me, but

Speaker 2 I've worn a lot of clothes in my life. I've always had respect that you didn't want to see this.

Speaker 2 I keep myself covered up. Because I'm a man of the people.

Speaker 2 I try to dress respectable. respectable.
I try to look sharp.

Speaker 2 You know, I try to be a gentleman.

Speaker 1 That's it.

Speaker 2 You know, I've been fucking walking around wearing a goddamn tank top.

Speaker 2 These fucking guys out there with their grandmother arms.

Speaker 2 You know what? I hate people who have fat, flabby arms that wear fucking tank tops. And like what? I'm supposed to believe those are guns.

Speaker 2 Those aren't gums. Those are two fucking giant scoops of ice cream because that's what the fuck you've been eating.

Speaker 2 I could squeeze those 24-inch pythons all the way down to your fucking humerus.

Speaker 2 All right, don't even get me started about the FEMA.

Speaker 2 I think the Red Sox had a walk-off home run last night. You know, when I finish my little bullshit in the play and I walk through the

Speaker 2 sub-stage, the sub-floor, the floor right underneath what the orchestra would usually be, if there was any music in the play.

Speaker 2 One of the guys in the crew always has a bunch of baseball on, so that's the only Red Sox shit that I've seen. And we had a matinee yesterday,

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 I think it was during the matinee, but why would the Red Sox have a day game on a Wednesday? A random Wednesday in June?

Speaker 2 It must have still been light out.

Speaker 2 All I know is I just saw Fenway Park, and what a gorgeous fucking park. I haven't been to a game there in a couple of years.
I got got to get back to that.

Speaker 2 And I know we're still playing 400 ball, but hopefully, we'll get hot before it's too fucking late.

Speaker 2 I was all excited that the Red Sox spent fucking money this year, and we're going to try to be competitive because I feel like I don't know what they've been doing the last few fucking years, but let's just say it hasn't been working there.

Speaker 2 All right, and I think that's it. I don't know that I have anything else to tell you.

Speaker 2 I'm only 21 minutes in. Now, I mean, the contract that I have in my head that I never signed with you guys is that I have to do a fucking half hour.

Speaker 2 You know, but usually at this point, I can read some sort of advertising.

Speaker 2 But the way I've been reading ads lately, I don't have any.

Speaker 2 When you do a four-minute left turn in the middle of some fucking ad reads.

Speaker 2 Look at this. I was wrong.

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Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago. Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is now streaming on Hulu.
30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd.

Speaker 1 Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 1 Watch Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, now streaming on Hulu and and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 2 Anyway, I saw that Mark Maron was going to end his podcast, the what the fuck podcast. That is a major moment in the young history of podcasting.

Speaker 2 One of the most legendary podcasts since the beginning of podcasting, right?

Speaker 2 Seemed pretty cool idea to me. You know, I'm not saying I'm going to do it.
I'm just saying I love the idea of retiring anything.

Speaker 2 You know what I mean? Because, you know, as much as it's sad to watch an athlete just keep playing

Speaker 2 past, you know, when they should have fucking quit.

Speaker 2 And we all look at it and we all say it's sad. But, you know, you got to look at your own life sometimes

Speaker 2 and just be like, why am I still doing this? That happens a lot in my business too, in entertainment. Like, you'll just see, I saw somebody the other day, oh my god,

Speaker 2 was advertising some sort of gig they had coming up.

Speaker 2 And,

Speaker 2 you know, I get it though.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 2 if you retire, then like, what is your, you got it, you have to have a purpose. Like, if I retired, I would go full Jimmy Carter.

Speaker 2 You know, I would find... I'm not saying I'm going to swing a hammer and build houses for the homeless.
I'm too fucking pasty for that. But I would find some charity to go work for.

Speaker 2 My grandmother did that. She volunteered at a hospital and she worked at like the

Speaker 2 little cafeteria that they had. And it gave her something to do.
She still had free time. She still could play cards with her friends.
But it gave her a purpose and.

Speaker 2 And she lived, she retired at like, I don't know what age, like how people used to retire at like 65. And then she lived to almost be 105.

Speaker 2 So she had like over 10,000 hours of volunteer service.

Speaker 2 You know, she got that like a half hour a time or 40 minutes a time, whatever, however long the lunch was, an hour

Speaker 2 or so

Speaker 2 every day.

Speaker 2 Somebody's going to do the math on that.

Speaker 2 Actually, she did that between the ages, whatever. She had 10,000 hours.
I don't know how the fuck she did it. They had some ceremony for her.

Speaker 2 But I always looked to her where, like, she played bridge and she did volunteer work.

Speaker 2 And then she also, you know, drove her cars forever. And if there was any sort of ding or scratch in it, she would take it down to the dealership and get it fixed.

Speaker 2 So she always had, she had a good-looking car, she dressed sharp, she played cards, and she volunteered. That's how you fucking retire.

Speaker 2 I think nowadays, the way they grind you down to nothing in the corporate world, I think everybody is so fucking burned out

Speaker 2 that left to their own devices in five years, their

Speaker 2 weed, wine, mushrooms, fucking potato skins and nachos, you're like dead within three to five years.

Speaker 2 Well, that's a sad thought, isn't it?

Speaker 2 Anyway, I just want to give Mark Maron a shout out

Speaker 2 and the what the fuck podcast, the WTF podcast for being one of the OGs OGs

Speaker 1 in this um

Speaker 1 world.

Speaker 2 I was lucky enough to be on be on it a couple times. Um,

Speaker 2 definitely the end of an era.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 I wonder if I would ever, at some point,

Speaker 2 I don't know that I would ever quit this thing because I just find I don't

Speaker 2 ever guess really, you know. I mean, I do, but I don't, if that makes any sense, then I just sort of fuck around.

Speaker 2 I still, I guess I still like doing it,

Speaker 1 right? Yeah,

Speaker 2 I don't know. That's just one of those moments where I just look at somebody's doing that and I go, Wait, should I be doing that?

Speaker 2 I never even thought about the end of this thing.

Speaker 2 I feel like the end of my podcast, and then when I die,

Speaker 2 someone is going to collect all of these podcasts

Speaker 2 and do some sort of psychological breakdown of when I

Speaker 2 lost it.

Speaker 2 Just start connecting dots

Speaker 2 or whatever.

Speaker 2 Oh, God, the poor bastard that would have to listen to all of these.

Speaker 2 Oh, you know what? They could be listening right now.

Speaker 2 Somebody could be listening to this in the future when I'm already gone. Hey, man, just want to say I had a great time.

Speaker 2 All right, fight off those fucking robots. Now they won't play that in the future.
That will be censored

Speaker 2 with AI technology.

Speaker 2 Like that's a fucking asset.

Speaker 2 Anyway,

Speaker 1 I'm going to drink a lot of water.

Speaker 2 That's what you're supposed to do after you have a fucking massage.

Speaker 2 And guess what? Guess what? I still haven't had a fucking cigar. I still have not had a cigar.
Although I will tell you, I walked down the street today when I was going to my son. I don't know who had

Speaker 2 the cigar, but I walked by somebody that was smoking a cigar and I smelled it and I breathed in like I was in some nature commercial, like I was breathing in the fresh mountain air.

Speaker 2 But except it was a stogie.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 being responsible is awesome in the morning.

Speaker 2 You know, when you wake up and you're not hungover and you feel good and all of that shit.

Speaker 2 But, like, somewhere in the afternoon, the idea of being irresponsible just seems to make more more and more sense.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 I don't know if it's a habit or you just interacted with some human beings

Speaker 2 and you just start thinking, like, you know,

Speaker 2 it's three in the afternoon.

Speaker 2 I don't have to do a play until seven.

Speaker 2 Is this the day I

Speaker 2 try heroin? How long does it last?

Speaker 1 You got to do it once, right? Just smoke it

Speaker 2 in your fucking 80s. Then I'd be worried you'd fuck you, you know, like junkies never tip over.
What about if you're in your 80s? You probably tip over and then you'll break your hip.

Speaker 2 That horrible, high-pitched scream of an old person.

Speaker 2 You know, sounds like a bird off in the distance.

Speaker 2 Is that some sort of bird I can't identify? Or did somebody 85 just try heroin for the first time and fucking tipped over?

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 2 Well, that is the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning podcast. Once again, thank you to everybody who continues to show up to Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross.
It's been

Speaker 2 It's been a life-changing, life-changing experience. And I am so thankful that I have had it.
I am so thankful that I still have another three and a half weeks to be with all of these,

Speaker 2 what I hope will be lifelong friends that I've met on this, and then also to be performing in front of all of these crowds, and every night just feeling a different energy.

Speaker 2 Each crowd has its own personality or whatever, and

Speaker 2 it's been.

Speaker 2 I hope it's made me a better actor.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I've been having so much fun.
I don't feel like I've been working. It's just been great.
All right. Well, that's it.
Congratulations to the Oilers. I hope the Pacers Oklahoma City

Speaker 2 series is more competitive than most people are going to give it credit for.

Speaker 2 I hope they have an epic fucking seven-game series because I'm so sick of these people being like, who the fuck cares about fucking Indiana versus Oklahoma City?

Speaker 2 You don't care about the two best teams? What's the matter? There's not enough stars.

Speaker 2 You know, you can't handle it because Steph Curry and fucking LeBron and whoever else isn't fucking there.

Speaker 2 Why don't you grow up?

Speaker 2 Why don't you grow up and start playing favorites? Like a fucking narcissist parent.

Speaker 2 All right, that's the podcast.

Speaker 2 Have a great weekend, your cunts, and enjoy the music picked out by the amazing Andrew Themlis.

Speaker 2 And then afterwards, we have a bonus episode of the Thursday Afternoon, just before Before Friday Monday Morning Podcast.

Speaker 1 See ya.

Speaker 1 In the afterlife, you could be headed for the serious strife. Now you make the scene all day,

Speaker 1 but tomorrow there'll be hell to pay.

Speaker 1 In the afterlife, you could be headed for the serious life.

Speaker 1 Now you make the scene all day,

Speaker 1 but tomorrow there'll be hell to pay. People listen attentively.
I mean about future calamity. I used to think the idea was obsolete until I heard the old man damp in his

Speaker 1 This is a place where eternally fire is applied to the body

Speaker 1 Teeth are extruded and bones are crown and baked into cakes which are passed around

Speaker 1 afterlife, you could be headed for the serious drive. Now you make this seat all day, but you bottle heavy hands today.

Speaker 1 Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, June 5th, 2017. What's going on? How are ya?

Speaker 1 How's it going? How was your weekend?

Speaker 1 It's really not Monday morning at this point. I mean, it's still my Monday morning.
It's 20 to fucking 11, but by the time I finish this shit, it's going to be about noon.

Speaker 1 Noon.

Speaker 1 Saskatoon.

Speaker 1 See the northern lights.

Speaker 1 I just had a fucking amazing weekend. I want to thank everybody who came out to Cluster Fest

Speaker 1 up in

Speaker 1 San Francisco, this new comedy festival.

Speaker 1 I was up there Sasay

Speaker 1 And on Sunday,

Speaker 1 I had like a make-a-wish weekend. It was crazy.
I went up there.

Speaker 1 Let's see, what did I do? I did the Too Dope Queen podcast.

Speaker 1 Then

Speaker 1 I did the comedy jam, goddamn comedy jam.

Speaker 1 We were playing outside near City Hall, which I called the fucking state capitol. Anytime I see a dome, I'm like, that's got to be the capital of the state.
I mean,

Speaker 1 why would they spend that much fucking money making something look that impressive and all it is is just city hall? You tell me the fucking mayor lives there?

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ, I'd love to see the governor. Governor's above the mayor, right? Is that how it works?

Speaker 1 It's like meter-made, then it goes mayor, then governor,

Speaker 1 then state representative,

Speaker 1 congressman, right? And then a senator.

Speaker 1 And then the Moto GP level is you're the fucking,

Speaker 1 you're the president, right?

Speaker 1 Who tweets and gets up and storms out of interviews when he doesn't like the questions.

Speaker 1 The fuck is going on with, you know, I watched this thing on

Speaker 1 what's his space, Vladi Daddy there,

Speaker 1 Vladimir Putin saying, like, how, like anybody who's like an opponent of his, they fucking kill him.

Speaker 1 They've had all these weird suicides. This one guy tied himself to a chair and somehow threw himself into a pool.

Speaker 1 Now that one right there

Speaker 1 is not only

Speaker 1 getting rid of your enemy, but it's also displaying your level of power. Because when you're not even trying to hide it like that, oh yeah, that was a suicide.

Speaker 1 Anyways, and then he's like poisoning fucking people and all this shit. Whenever I watch those,

Speaker 1 whenever I watch stories about people like that, there was this guy,

Speaker 1 he's gotten poisoned twice.

Speaker 1 First time he went into a coma for a week, and he was in the hospital for like a fucking month. Now he walks with like a limp.

Speaker 1 And he went right back to protesting,

Speaker 1 you know, the current regime in Russia. And then he fucking, they poisoned him again.
He goes to the same hospital.

Speaker 1 This time they realized, you know, with his symptoms going, all right, this guy's probably been poisoned again. So they knew something a little better.
So they got him out in like a week to 10 days.

Speaker 1 I don't know about you guys. The first time I get poisoned and I live, I'm going to say to the cars, listen, guys, I'm passing the torch.
Okay. I did my part.

Speaker 1 I'm going to start making those furry Russian hats. I'm going to open a little fucking kiosk down at the local

Speaker 1 people's mall, whatever the fuck it is. You know, it's funny is everybody thinks Russia's communist, right?

Speaker 1 Somebody told me that the other day going, like, dude, they haven't been communists for like fucking 25 years. They're like over here.

Speaker 1 It's like a small group of people running shit, except they, you know, rather than tweeting and walking out on shit, they just kind of poison people.

Speaker 1 They're taking it to the next level.

Speaker 1 I believe the kids say it's turnt up.

Speaker 1 But, anyways, Cluster Fest.

Speaker 1 I just, I don't know, I went to bed watching that. I started talking about a comedy festival, and then I go over talking about a guy getting poisoned and continuing to do what the fuck.

Speaker 1 If you ever got poisoned doing stand-up, that's it. I'm done.
I'm done.

Speaker 1 I would just, I would send out a tweet.

Speaker 1 To whom, whoever poisoned me, what would you like me to be doing with my life so I can get on with that?

Speaker 1 Stock room at Best Buy, you got it. I'll fucking load and unload flat screen TVs for the rest of my fucking life to not go into another week-long coma and stay in the hospital for a goddamn month.

Speaker 1 Knowing that there's people out there that not only can poison me, I don't know who the fuck they are and when they did it.

Speaker 1 Dude was just sitting there talking to his wife. Everything's fine.

Speaker 1 And out of fucking nowhere, he went from feeling all of a sudden, you know, I feel a little,

Speaker 1 is it hot in here? Boom, right into a coma fucking 20 minutes later.

Speaker 1 Continues to fight the good fight.

Speaker 1 I mean, that's amazing. That's amazing.
You know, if there is an afterlife or whatever, I feel like that guy's in the pre-checked TSA line, you know, just goes right through.

Speaker 1 I saw this little YouTube video on this guy who allegedly had a 200 IQ.

Speaker 1 And I guess the average person has 100. You get up to about 130, 140.
You're a fucking genius. You know, fucking Tesla had a 150.

Speaker 1 Fucking Galileo had a 160. Somebody had a 190.
And this guy's got a 200. So he's allegedly the smartest person on the fucking planet.

Speaker 1 And he lives in the fucking middle of nowhere on a goddamn farm with like a couple of yaks and some chickens. Then he met some other super genius woman out of Brooklyn.

Speaker 1 I don't know. If you heard them both talk, I didn't buy it.
I didn't buy it first. I don't know.

Speaker 1 Once his wife started talking, and it's just, they never really made him demonstrate how fucking smart he was. He just was talking about what he was doing.

Speaker 1 He was trying to prove that heaven exists.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 right there, that was suspect to me. I was just kind of like going like, all right, this guy is like the smartest person ever, and he's like a fucking religious freak.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 I don't know. That's always a

Speaker 1 I haven't found too many smart people that are like

Speaker 1 that level

Speaker 1 into religion. I have found smart people into religion, but they're kind of like, hey, this is what I believe.
You don't believe it, I get it, but you know, it works for me, so have a nice day.

Speaker 1 As opposed to telling you, you're gonna fucking burn forever or some shit. I don't know.
Like, I was trying to prove the existence of heaven. What about hell?

Speaker 1 Does that exist?

Speaker 1 I don't fucking know.

Speaker 1 I'll send a...

Speaker 1 I'll post it. Is that what I'm supposed to say? I'll post the fucking clip.

Speaker 1 Anyways, let me get back to cluster fests. I'm fucking talking in circles here.

Speaker 1 So, yeah, so I landed. I did a private gig, and then I did two broke girls.
Then I played drums at the goddamn comedy jam outside the fucking mayor's house in this giant square.

Speaker 1 There was a couple thousand people there.

Speaker 1 And I forgot to adjust this one symbol. So every time I bring my stick up,

Speaker 1 he had like the fucking crash symbol. The other drummer had the crash symbol, Nick, right above it.
And I kept hitting it and I was missing shit. I was fucking up.
But I just kept going.

Speaker 1 It's kind of a learning experience. Like I fucked up a lot, I thought.

Speaker 1 But I just kept going and somehow it landed on its feet. And then later on that night, I did a show there.

Speaker 1 I don't know how many fucking people were there. It was freezing.
It was the the coldest I've ever been doing stand-up. It was just like outside.
You know, San Francisco.

Speaker 1 For those people who don't live in San Francisco, and I've made this mistake because I took a vacation there a long time ago in July and I dressed like it was July.

Speaker 1 San Francisco's summer, I believe, is like end of September to like middle of October. It's really quick.

Speaker 1 And the rest of the time, it is fucking freezing.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I was in this little fucking trailer in the back, which always cracks me up about this business. You're like, I'm going to make it.

Speaker 1 Someday I'm going to be a star, and you end up in a fucking trailer park for most of your career. So I'm in this trailer, right? Not even a double wad.

Speaker 1 I'm fucking sitting there.

Speaker 1 Oh, by the way, Les Claypool band played

Speaker 1 across the way before I went up, so I got to hear them play. I couldn't see him play, but I got to meet him briefly.
This is my make-a-wish weekend.

Speaker 1 I just fucking broke out the double pedal, and I've been trying trying to play Tommy the Cat and that type of shit, which I'm failing miserably at.

Speaker 1 And here I am meeting the fucking guy that wrote the goddamn song. He was cool as hell.
His band sounded amazing.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 yes, I was standing there, and I did a show. It was me, Joe DeRosa, and Pete Davidson.
And I was sitting in the trailer trying to get warm.

Speaker 1 You know, learning from the East Coast, going, all right, if I'm already cold with my hoodie and my jacket on, I need to take this shit off and let my body adjust.

Speaker 1 So when I go out there, when I put the hoodie and jacket on, I'll be all right. That's something

Speaker 1 you learn as a kid.

Speaker 1 If you already put all your snow shit on inside the house and your body adjusts to your temperature in the house with that shit on, you're going to then go outside and you're going to be freezing cold.

Speaker 1 I don't know how it works. That's how it works.
You got to take your fucking jacket off. So I was doing that.
And as I'm doing it,

Speaker 1 I'm listening to DeRosa and he's murdering.

Speaker 1 And like the laughs he's getting is not opening a show laughs and he went out there like no pun intended cold there was no nothing no music I don't even know what the fuck it was just ladies and gentlemen Joe DeRosa and he walked out to the parking lot where the hell we were performing and he was getting laughs that were not opener laughs and then he brought up Pete Davidson and he's fucking killing just as hard both of them absolutely murdered whoever was at the show I know can back me up on that and

Speaker 1 then I went out there and it was

Speaker 1 it was one of the more memorable shows i've had with like the uh the mayor's house there they had the dome it was all lit up in like this celtics green which was pretty cool and um

Speaker 1 where they'd sat everybody there were like these traffic lights that were telling you to walk or not walk and i kept you know was seeing the sign when they were counting down whether it was safe to walk across the alleged traffic that was no longer there.

Speaker 1 I kept thinking that was like the end of my set. It was like fucking me up.
And whenever the red light came on, I'm like, is that mean to wrap it up?

Speaker 1 I kept, you know, it's a fucking traffic light.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Anyways, so I did that.
And then on Sunday, no, and then I went to a big after-party. I got to hang out with DeRosa, Big J,

Speaker 1 Nate Bargazzi, all these fucking guys, man, just having a great time. And then the next day, I got to interview Jerry Seinfeld.

Speaker 1 promoting his comedians in cars, getting coffee. That's going to be out on Netflix.
And

Speaker 1 I can't even tell you how fucking nervous I was to do that because I was just like, all right.

Speaker 1 I was joking in the interview going like, I always feel like I'm one dumb comment away from you just standing up and just walking out of the room and I never see you again.

Speaker 1 Like that's the vibe he has. And as I said that, he stood up and just walked out of the, starts to walk off the stage.

Speaker 1 I was like really nervous because

Speaker 1 I thought that,

Speaker 1 I don't know, I just thought he was going to give really quick, short answers. And I was just going to be sitting there like Chris Farley when he did that sketch when he interviewed Paul McCartney.

Speaker 1 Like, remember when you did Seinfeld?

Speaker 1 That was awesome. Like, I thought I was literally going to be that guy.
But

Speaker 1 within two seconds, I realized, oh, wait, this guy did the tonight show with Johnny Carson.

Speaker 1 You know, why wouldn't he come out here and absolutely fucking kill it? If he just sat here giving me quick answers, the thing would go nowhere, and then he would look bad with me.

Speaker 1 It was amazing. It was one of the most fun things I've gotten to do in my career.
And,

Speaker 1 you know, before I interviewed him for whatever, I had all these fucking questions. Like I was going to look at my car.
I'd never interviewed somebody like that.

Speaker 1 So I had all these questions I was going to ask him,

Speaker 1 you know, his favorite car of all time, his favorite Met of all time.

Speaker 1 You know, what level dictator would you still be willing to do a private show for? You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 And I never even had to look at him. I asked a few of those.
I think I asked him who his favorite Met was. I forget who he said.
It was someone from like the 69 series.

Speaker 1 But it's probably that guy that dove and caught the ball.

Speaker 1 But before I went and interviewed him, I was looking up, you know, some information about him just so I would have something.

Speaker 1 I was trying to think, what the fuck can I ask this guy that he's not been asked a million times before?

Speaker 1 And I just happened to see, it says Jerry Seinfeld comments on Kathy Griffin

Speaker 1 controversy. And they cut to him.
They were just like, Jerry, what do you think about the whole Kathy Griffin? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And he just goes, It's stupid.
Who cares?

Speaker 1 That was it. And I was like, oh my God, is he going to do that when I interview him? Is it going to be that quick?

Speaker 1 Thank God. Thank God he didn't.

Speaker 1 Thank God he didn't. So it went great.
Thank Christ. And then

Speaker 1 I

Speaker 1 the interview ended.

Speaker 1 I don't know. We were just saying, man, that was a lot of fun.
That went great. It was awesome.
And then he left. And then me and Josh Adam, Myers

Speaker 1 jumped in a car. Didn't really jump in a car.
Jerry jumped in his car because he does life right. You know, he gave me some great advice about being on the road.

Speaker 1 He said, when the show's over, he just goes, go back to the room.

Speaker 1 He goes, go back to the room. And I go, you ever just want to go out and have a couple? He goes, go back to the room.

Speaker 1 He goes, there's nothing, nothing good is out there just go back to the room and do you know i already knew that do you know how many times i've learned that lesson and he said to me he goes if you want to look this good in your 60s go back to the room and he looks

Speaker 1 great

Speaker 1 so

Speaker 1 i'm gonna try to do that

Speaker 1 how do you go back to the room you don't go back to the room you have no stories

Speaker 1 I'm going to be in Montreal this weekend. How do I go back to the room?

Speaker 1 One of my favorite cigar bars in the fucking world is there. How do I go back to the room?

Speaker 1 I have to tell you, every time I go back to the room,

Speaker 1 I'm hating it right until I get to the elevator. And then I go up in the elevator and I go into the room and I put the TV on.
And the second I get into the bed, I'm like, oh my god, this is awesome.

Speaker 1 This is fucking great.

Speaker 1 I don't know why. I just, you know, I think I finished the show.
I'm wired. I'm excited it went well.
And then I go on the road with friends. And they're always, what do you think?

Speaker 1 Maybe go have a couple, two or three? And I always say, yes.

Speaker 1 I always say yes. So anyway, so the show ends.
I've learned to go back to the room. I've also learned to have the car service right fucking there like Jerry.
It was just, it just. Just like his act.

Speaker 1 There was no fat on him fucking leaving the stage, going to the dressing room, getting his shit, and he just walked right out. And I said, I go, Yeah, of course.
I go, Look at, look,

Speaker 1 this is how you do your life. The fucking car is ready.

Speaker 1 My guy's like, I don't know where the fuck he is. And he just laughed and he just got in his car and it was over.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I usually don't have any sort of a car service. I usually just walk out.
Okay, so the reason why I have a car service was because I had tickets to go to game two of the NBA Finals.

Speaker 1 My make-a-wish weekend continues.

Speaker 1 So my car guy goes, yeah, I'm fucking, dude, I'm fucking down the street in the car garage. And I go, all right, so we're right here.
I told him where we're at. Come to the stage door.

Speaker 1 The dude comes to the stage door on foot

Speaker 1 and walked us back to the fucking car.

Speaker 1 The show ended at 3.45. The final started at 5 o'clock.
So I'm like, what the fuck, man? So

Speaker 1 We walked all the way over to this parking garage,

Speaker 1 got in the elevator, went downstairs. downstairs.
I'm in the parking garage with the crowd. It's the most anti-show business thing ever.
It's the most anti-Elvis left the fucking building.

Speaker 1 It was fucking pedestrian. It was shameful.
I should have had my urine show business card revoked.

Speaker 1 So we get in the car and we're sitting in the traffic with the fucking crowd to get out of the parking garage.

Speaker 1 Nothing VIP about it. Complete fucking moron I am.
So we ended up, me and Josh, we're riding in the car over and we're just laughing, going, dude, we're going to the fucking NBA Finals.

Speaker 1 Finals, whatever the fuck you say it.

Speaker 1 And we had a couple of cigars and we said to the guy, who turned out to be the greatest driver ever, we were like, dude, is it okay if

Speaker 1 I don't get the guy in trouble? He may or may not allegedly have let us smoke the cigar in the back of the car. And we ended up getting to the finals and we missed about half of the first quarter.

Speaker 1 And it was just one of those things. Like, I can't believe I'm here.
And I love that fucking arena. It's going to be a shame when they leave it.

Speaker 1 I'm going to tell Warrior fans right now, enjoy that arena because your next arena is not going to be that loud.

Speaker 1 The new ones are never that loud because they build in all of those luxury boxes and everything is just so fucking big and far away from the court.

Speaker 1 But anyway, so we go to the game and we're watching the game and it's fucking, you know.

Speaker 1 It's great through about the first two and a half quarters. And then the Warriors just start pulling away and

Speaker 1 i gotta tell you as a fan of sport and competition that kevin durant the allowing kevin durant to go to the warriors was that's out of all those things lebron going to miami uh fucking kevin garnett and ray allen going to the celtics

Speaker 1 shaq and phil jackson

Speaker 1 going to the Lakers. This one might be the worst one.

Speaker 1 Because at least like

Speaker 1 like Shaq and Phil Jackson, that was a bad time. But still, you still had like the Spurs, they had Tim Duncan, they had David Robinson.
You know, you still had something to compete with.

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 you know, the Celtics, when we won, we still had to beat the fucking Lakers. And God knows they always had 9 million fucking free agents.
And even the fucking Heat that first year, they lost

Speaker 1 to the Mavericks. But this one, it was just like,

Speaker 1 I'm trying to think of an analogy to come. It'd be like if Magic Johnson joined the

Speaker 1 Celtics or Larry Bird joined the Lakers after the 1985

Speaker 1 championship when we lost to him in the finals. He just joined the fucking Lakers.

Speaker 1 I gotta, yeah, it just felt, it felt fucking dirty when I was watching it going like, this just doesn't feel good.

Speaker 1 It just, I don't know. I was in an NBA final game and I was actually bored, which is funny because

Speaker 1 I thought when I was at home, I didn't know what the Warrior fans were chanting when they were saying, Warriors, Warriors. I thought they were chanting boring, boring.

Speaker 1 I literally thought that that's what they were saying because there was so much.

Speaker 1 Look at last year's

Speaker 1 Western Conference finals. That was fucking unbelievable.
That seven-game series with the Thunder and the Warriors. And then you look at last year's NBA final.
It was fucking amazing.

Speaker 1 Went seven games and was won in the last second by the Cavaliers. It was incredible basketball, incredible level of competition.

Speaker 1 It was amazing.

Speaker 1 And then, I don't know, I don't understand how the Chris Paul trade was bad for basketball, but Kevin Durant going to the Warriors

Speaker 1 and then just watching them puffing their chests out and punching their fucking chests and the crowd going crazy as if they don't realize what they're watching.

Speaker 1 Like acting as though, like, yeah, man, this year's our year.

Speaker 1 Last year you beat us, but you know what? We dug down deeper. No, you didn't.
You didn't.

Speaker 1 You picked up the best guy that almost fucking beat you last year and added it to your team. It was like,

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Every time they get to within three to five points, which I have to tell you is pretty fucking amazing when you're playing a team. They haven't even lost a game yet.

Speaker 1 They've lost one game since February.

Speaker 1 And they were already playing like that before

Speaker 1 they had Kevin Durant. So

Speaker 1 I'm not trying to reign on people's parade here or anything, but I really don't have anything to say about the game other than I will, for me,

Speaker 1 I watch sports to watch competition.

Speaker 1 I don't watch it to watch a layup.

Speaker 1 I mean, the fact that they have all of those guys and then they can rotate them out. And when their LeBron is sitting down, they got another two LeBrons still out there.
It's just fucking.

Speaker 1 I don't know. There was a lot.
I don't know. There was a lot of like.

Speaker 1 I just couldn't believe I didn't hear one Warrior fan address it.

Speaker 1 You know, at some point, just kind of be like, ugh, yes, it's kind of...

Speaker 1 I mean, any Celtic fans out there? You didn't feel like, dude, what the fuck? That year in 2008? We were like in last place.

Speaker 1 And then Kevin McHale's in the front office of the Timberwolves and trades away Kevin Garnett for nothing. A former Celtic does that to the Timberwolves.

Speaker 1 Like, that should have been investigated the same way the Paugasaul trade. When what's his face? Jerry West was in the front office of the Grizzlies.

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago. Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is now streaming on Hulu.
30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd.

Speaker 1 Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 1 Watch Sebastian Maniscalco. It ain't right.
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Speaker 1 Yeah, we'll give you Paugasol for his fucking brother, who's now good, but he wasn't back then. It's a horrible fucking trade.

Speaker 1 Those were bad enough, but I think this is the worst one ever. Like, this is, I'm still holding out.
I have to root for the Cavaliers. I'm still rooting for the fact that they can somehow,

Speaker 1 you know, obviously they got to win the next one. Most obvious fucking statement ever.
But,

Speaker 1 yeah, I got to tell you, from about halfway through the third, when they started pulling away,

Speaker 1 and then the Cavaliers kept fighting back, and

Speaker 1 they just had, it was ridiculous. It was like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I just walked out of there going like, that felt like a fucking regular season game.
That didn't feel like,

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know. How the fuck did...

Speaker 1 Somebody explained to me what that's competition. Like as a Warrior fan, you're going to look at that and just be like, yeah, man, that feels good.

Speaker 1 And you have to be honest with yourself, Warrior fans. Weren't you guys bitching at LeBron when he went to Miami and he won two down there, right?

Speaker 1 Weren't you saying that's fucking bullshit? It's a pile on team. Now if you were, you got to say that about your own fucking team.
And I didn't hear that once.

Speaker 1 I just saw everybody fucking walking around thumping their chest like this was the greatest fucking thing ever.

Speaker 1 You know what else is funny too? I really think is hilarious is

Speaker 1 when the little kids come out and they do their dance routines that aggressive hip-hop dancing It's the funniest shit ever to me like what dancing has become.

Speaker 1 It's like you're literally sitting there, like when a little kid danced when I was a kid, it was cute. It was adorable.
Now you're just sitting there like,

Speaker 1 does this kid want to fight me? I think a six-year-old is squaring off with me.

Speaker 1 This whole fucking new generation where everybody's just walking around like they're these gods. I don't know what the fuck that is about.

Speaker 1 These fucking Instagram douchebags who are trying to be inspirational people as they're showing off their fucking abs.

Speaker 1 Like, like they're trying to help you by showing off their beauty and their own success and standing in front of private jets holding up a wad of cash. I just, I, for the fucking life of me,

Speaker 1 I can't understand why that behavior isn't ridiculed and why it's actually like aspired to.

Speaker 1 Go out and get yours.

Speaker 1 So fucking

Speaker 1 get what?

Speaker 1 A bunch of fucking shoes. I don't know.
Oh, God, I'm just a crappy old man. I have to tell you,

Speaker 1 if the Cleveland Cavaliers had somehow signed a giant free agent at the level of Kevin Durant,

Speaker 1 then I think this would be probably the greatest NBA Finals ever because it would be like two Hall of Fame fucking teams

Speaker 1 going at it with each other.

Speaker 1 And then even if I, you know, I always hated that fucking,

Speaker 1 you know, I hate the super teams, as you can obviously tell, but at least if you have two of them going at it,

Speaker 1 then it becomes interesting. Like back in the day when the

Speaker 1 Reuted Up free agent Red Sox went up against the Reited Up free agent Yankees, I know it was bad for baseball.

Speaker 1 But at least there was, I don't know, there was another roided up free agency fucking team out there. This is is just like,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I just don't understand how you play a team that has the talent that LeBron has, and it's like fucking child's play because you got this other, this fucking juggernaut you just

Speaker 1 signed. And I don't know.

Speaker 1 It was weird. It was a weird feeling leaving there.

Speaker 1 So I think I fucking,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I think that was a little too long.
I probably talked about it too long, but like, I was so excited to go to the fucking game and then to just.

Speaker 1 It would have been nice if one Warrior fan went like, Yeah, you know, it's kind of bullshit, but uh, you know, you know, LeBron did it in Miami, so does that kind of make it okay?

Speaker 1 I mean, uh, hey, you know, that guy touched a kid, so why can't we touch a kid, right? Doesn't isn't that how it isn't that how it works?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I was joking with Josh. I go, dude, that felt dirty.

Speaker 1 And then I also have to tell you, I absolutely fucking cannot stand the West Coast,

Speaker 1 the West Coast fucking

Speaker 1 sports fan. I just cannot stand them.
I did not hear one intelligent thing yelled during the game. I mean,

Speaker 1 their commentary is different reads of, oh, shit.

Speaker 1 And that's it. Nobody fucking seems to know what's going on.
There was one guy behind me going, oh, I never seen the Cavs come out with this lineup. Oh, they're going big.

Speaker 1 There was a couple of people, but everybody else was just fucking mouth breathers. Just waiting for the ball to go through the net to be like, oh, shit.

Speaker 2 They don't want none of this.

Speaker 1 Sorry, didn't mean to fucking blow out your ears there. All right.
All right. I'm done fucking whining about that shit.
But it is bullshit. It is.

Speaker 1 I actually heard, this is a fucking West Coast sports fan. I went into the bathroom.
And somebody yelled out, two championships going on three. And somebody goes, two and a half.

Speaker 1 We got two and a half.

Speaker 1 Now, I don't know if he was saying like they should have got it called a championship last year or they're already racking this one up

Speaker 1 because they already fucking were going to win game two. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't fucking know. I have no, I have no idea.
I hope that that's what that guy was saying. Do you think I shit on the whole fucking thing long enough?

Speaker 1 I really didn't think it was going to go that long.

Speaker 1 I'm already fucking 28 minutes in. All right, let's do a little bit of advertising here.
Oh, by the way, rest in peace, Blue Apron.

Speaker 1 Blue Apron decided not to continue advertising with me because I said,

Speaker 1 you know, when they were, I was reading the copy, it says, you know, when you have fresh ingredients, food tastes better. And I was like, really?

Speaker 2 Fresh ingredients taste better?

Speaker 1 That's the reason they're claiming that they stopped

Speaker 1 wanting to advertise in the podcast. Not because six weeks ago, I read that story where they were, you know, going to farmers' markets trying to box out the little man.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 I know that's what it was. I know that they just were like, well, we can't do it now or he's going to bring that shit up, that filthy shit that we allegedly did up again.

Speaker 1 So we're just going to wait and we're going to wait for him to do one fucking read that we don't like and then we're going to be out. Come on, Blue Apron.
How dumb do you think I am? Huh?

Speaker 1 Stop going down to farmers markets allegedly. You know?

Speaker 1 What do you want, Junk? Cougar Mellon Camp, do you have to write another fucking song? Is that what the hell you're going after? All right, here's all. Here's our old friends.

Speaker 1 They don't give a shit how I read these. I like these guys.
This is old zip.

Speaker 1 All right, anyways, here we go. All right, let's read some questions here for this week.

Speaker 1 See if I can stop talking about that fucking Golden State thing. Hey, Bill, would love if you would find it.

Speaker 1 I would love it if you would find it to come back to Sweden. Malmo gets boring.
There's too few redheads to spend my money on here. Thank you.

Speaker 1 All right. I feel like he was vaguely trashing me, yet he likes my comedy.
I'm definitely going to be coming back to Sweden. Last time I went through Europe, I didn't do the Scandinavians

Speaker 1 countries. What are the Scandinavian countries, people? Come on.
Norway, Sweden,

Speaker 1 Denmark.

Speaker 1 I know there's one other one in there. It's not Finland.
That's part of the Nordic countries that also include Scandinavia.

Speaker 1 I can't even remember. It's been so long since I was there.

Speaker 1 I learned that Scandinavia was like three countries, and then those three countries were part of the Nordic countries, which included Finland and this little island just north of

Speaker 2 Great Britain.

Speaker 1 Right? Isn't it something like that? I will definitely be back, and I'll have a brand new hour for you fucking blue-eyed, blonde-haired cunts. And we'll have a great time from a lovely French lady.

Speaker 1 Hey, Bill.

Speaker 1 Hello, bonjour.

Speaker 1 I just wanted to say, I just wanted to send a little message and hopefully have it heard that being a

Speaker 1 videographer myself, I immensely appreciate the graphic work and details and efforts for family. Oh, thank you.
Such a great show on so many levels. That's it.

Speaker 1 All the best to everyone involved with Bill in general, and of course, Bill himself, a French

Speaker 1 fan from Paris. Hey,

Speaker 1 guess what? French lady,

Speaker 1 femme de la Francais,

Speaker 1 lady of the France.

Speaker 1 The show is actually that the animators is Gaumont, which is in France. All right.

Speaker 1 And then, of course, you know, then they

Speaker 1 farm it out to these people, big jump, in Ottawa. That's how it works.
But you guys are part of the mix. And what's great about France is if you use French animators, an animation company, is you get

Speaker 1 the government gives a little bit of money. It makes it cheaper.
You know, it's a smart thing. It's like a Trump thing.
They're trying to bring fucking business

Speaker 1 into their country, like Trump says he wants to do as he walks away from the Paris Agreement.

Speaker 1 It's just a hoax. Climate change, not global warming anymore.
It's climate change.

Speaker 1 Just a little change in the climate.

Speaker 1 I saw some lady on TV going like, you know, I think it's good for this country that we do it because we've always been a leader in environmental issues.

Speaker 1 Yes, we have been a leader. Fucking fucking it up the most as far as I can tell.
If I'm to believe what the scientists are saying, oh, scientists.

Speaker 1 Their information. Anyways,

Speaker 1 by the way, thank you to everybody that's been watching season two. The people have been loving it.
And, you know, it's a ton of goddamn work.

Speaker 1 So thank God you guys enjoyed it or have been enjoying it. Please tell more people to watch it.
The more people you tell to watch it, hopefully the more fans we get.

Speaker 1 And then they'll let us do a season three.

Speaker 1 You know.

Speaker 1 And if not, I'll just have all kinds of free time in my life.

Speaker 1 It's kind of a win-win for me either way, people. Either I get to continue working with these great people doing this great show, or I'm going to become a hell of a drummer.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, thank you so much.
And I can't wait to get back to France at some point. Just got to wait till the little one gets a little bit bigger.

Speaker 1 We're actually, what I want to do, I was talking to Stania. I want to get like some sort of fucking

Speaker 1 French person over here, right?

Speaker 1 That can, you know, help make my daughter smart because she's got to learn from somebody. I know it ain't going to be me.
And she also teaches her French and teaches us all French.

Speaker 1 How great would that? be my little cutie pie be over in uh france speak being fluent huh how cute would that be? You know, she's sitting up by herself now.

Speaker 1 It's fucking amazing. She has this look on her face.
She's like proud of herself. It's the cutest thing I've ever seen in my life.
It's just the best. I'm telling you.
It's the best.

Speaker 1 There's no material in having a kid. There really isn't.
Other than your fear that something bad's going to happen to him. But I feel like that's been fucking done to death.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 1 Other than that, it's just been fucking phenomenal.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 F is for family. Hey, Bill, I'm a big fan of your work.

Speaker 1 In from Puerto Rico. Oh,

Speaker 1 hope to see you perform someday here.

Speaker 1 I watched the second season of F is for Family, and it was great, even better than the first one. Completely hilarious.
Well, take care and keep the good work. Keep up the good work.

Speaker 1 How would that work? You know,

Speaker 1 Puerto Rico is like not a state, but it's one of those yet another place that we kind of just decided was ours.

Speaker 1 If I go on stage there, do I? I don't know. I went on stage in Singapore.
I didn't get caned. I'm sure I'll be all right in Puerto Rico.
I'd love to fucking go there. Bring my wife.

Speaker 1 She can go to the fucking beach, you know.

Speaker 1 I'll be there with all the lovely ladies, all those fucking J-Los walking around. I think that would be that.
I could definitely be talked into that.

Speaker 1 I'd go over there and tell my fucking shit jokes.

Speaker 1 All right. Can't stop smoking cigarettes.

Speaker 1 All right, get job on new season.

Speaker 1 Get job on the new season of F is for Family. I'm halfway through and it's hilarious.
I've been smoking for seven years now. I'm 22 and I can't stop smoking.

Speaker 1 It's really starting to affect my health and I'm sick of it. I quit boozing and smoking weed, but I've never been able to quit smoking cigarettes.

Speaker 1 All right, and what the fuck? How do I help you do this? I tried to replace it with weed, but it just makes me want to smoke a cigarette after. Alcohol gives me cravings, too.

Speaker 1 You used to smoke cigars, so maybe you've got some good tips. I still smoke cigars to help me quit.
By the way,

Speaker 1 you should come to Minneapolis soon and play a show. Check out the new Viking Stadium.
It's amazing.

Speaker 1 Let's see. You guys, yeah, the Twin Stadium is amazing.
You guys are doing all right up there.

Speaker 1 As is the Wilds. The last time I went to,

Speaker 1 I went to a,

Speaker 1 what do you got up there? The Timberwolves Timberwolves game Kevin Garnett was still there and you played in the Target Center and that was a shithole

Speaker 1 all right well they say quitting cigarettes is as hard as quitting heroin so

Speaker 1 I don't know I I would try to get professional help

Speaker 1 I'm so happy I never started doing that and

Speaker 1 you know I don't I like I used to smoke cigars like you know once every like four days or something like that now I smoke smoke them like

Speaker 1 once every two weeks, sometimes three weeks. And I really don't have the craving to do it.
I kind of wait for like

Speaker 1 the right time to do it.

Speaker 1 Like riding in a car to go over to the NBA Finals. That felt like, yeah, this is a cigar fucking moment.

Speaker 1 But the way I was doing it before, it was just like fucking, you know, every goddamn couple of days, like, you know, having a humidor and all that type of stuff. You can really just,

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I still think I smoke too many of them. And

Speaker 1 I don't eat right when I'm on the road and I drink too much when I'm on the road. And it's something I have, personally, I have to stop doing that.

Speaker 1 And you know what it is? It's really, I find it's just developing. I know people say this, but it's just developing new habits.
Like,

Speaker 1 you know, if you're eating shit food, you crave shit food. If you're eating salads and good stuff, you crave that.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I don't know. I'm a creature of habit.
And if it's just like every night, you know, we're going out and we're having drinks after the show.

Speaker 1 It just becomes, it just, your body's like, oh, now we do this. It's in like this routine.
So you kind of have to force yourself to break up your routine.

Speaker 1 And I think you just have to make a decision that you're going to be stronger than it, you know, unless you have like some sort of,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 super addictive like personality like those people and you got to go into the Dr. Drew house or some shit like that.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't know what your deal is, but I would definitely seek professional help.

Speaker 1 All right, VIP airline. Hey, Bill, that airline with the hot air

Speaker 1 hostesses

Speaker 1 exist.

Speaker 1 It only flies between Paris and New York. Oh, I was talking about a VIP airline.
We don't have to go on with people that are going to take their shoes off and put their feet up over the goddamn,

Speaker 1 you know, sticking between your fucking

Speaker 1 what do they do they stick them between the fucking armrests and that type of thing just those goddamn animals they should just have a first class one and they should have animal airlines and then fucking raised right airlines so he's saying there is a VIP airline but it only flies between Paris and New York it's only business class they give you iPads feed you chef made food and plenty of good French wine the tickets aren't even that expensive

Speaker 1 treat Nia to a holiday best from France well what's the name of the fucking airline You got to give me the name of the airline, dude. Ah, now I got to look it up.

Speaker 1 Oh, hey, I got to tell you, I got to look it up. You know,

Speaker 1 do I got time to fucking do this? Will my internet even work?

Speaker 1 Fucking scam that that is.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 VIP Airline,

Speaker 1 New York to Paris.

Speaker 1 Come on, what do you say?

Speaker 1 American Airlines, New York to Paris flights, Air France,

Speaker 1 the company.

Speaker 1 Discover Paris with

Speaker 1 all business class airline. I found it.

Speaker 1 It's L-A-C-O-M-P-A-G-N-I-E dot com.

Speaker 1 $1,800, dude. You said it was $1,000.

Speaker 1 I want to see some pictures here. Plan your trip to Paris.

Speaker 1 Oh, wow. Okay, I'm impressed with their little terminal there.

Speaker 1 My company. No, dude, I live in LA.
I live in L.A., so I'm not going to fucking connect through New York. I'm just going to say, fuck it.

Speaker 1 Use all my miles and

Speaker 1 jump on a plane. Okay, if we're ever in New York, that'd be a nice thing to do.
Maybe I'm doing a gig in New York, then afterwards, we can just go fly over there. That's a good idea, goddammit.

Speaker 1 That's a good fucking idea.

Speaker 1 Who knows, man? I'll ask the wife about that one. You know what I mean? You know how that works.
Oh, that was a question I wanted to ask Jerry. I forgot to do it.

Speaker 1 I wanted to ask him, dude, can you just come home with a new Porsche or do you have to clear it with your wife?

Speaker 1 You know, can you get to a fucking, like, can you just look at her and be like, dude, I'm Jerry Seinfeld?

Speaker 1 You know, look around your house. Do you like this, this, this, this? Echo, echo.

Speaker 1 All right, heart surgeon busted for filming me taking a piss.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 1 Dear billy double take tits

Speaker 1 what the fuck that means that's hilarious i heard the story on your podcast last week this fucking phone keeps vibrating this whole podcast

Speaker 1 the phone fart wink wink

Speaker 1 what the fuck is all of this stuff

Speaker 1 oh jesus christ all right

Speaker 1 here we go I heard the story on your podcast last week about the Oxford student stabbing her boyfriend in the leg with a butter knife and how she was let off easy despite her psychotic actions.

Speaker 1 I have a similar story that involved myself a little while ago. I'm a musician and was playing a solo gig near some markets in the

Speaker 1 popular part of Brisbane. Where the fuck is that? I've been there.
Oh, that's Australia.

Speaker 1 Australia. That was the next thing.
Let me say calm and went to the next

Speaker 1 page.

Speaker 1 It's fucking hilarious. During one of my breaks, I went to take a leak in the public amenities.

Speaker 1 I was doing my business in one of the stalls when suddenly I noticed an iPhone slowly coming over the top of my stall to my left.

Speaker 1 I could only see half of the phone, but could tell the camera was going. Obviously, it took me by surprise, and for about two seconds, my head went through a does-not compute mode.

Speaker 1 I was only halfway through taking a piss. I said, what the fuck, out loud, when I heard the stall next to mine open very quickly.
I looked behind me and saw a short, possibly Asian guy running.

Speaker 1 I tried to stop mid-piss, very difficult, adjusted myself, quickly ran and ran out after him, only to find hundreds of people walking through the markets. I couldn't see him anywhere.

Speaker 1 I was infuriated. It was infuriating.
My first thought was, oh great, now I'm going to be uploaded to some quote, I love publicpissing.com porn site.

Speaker 1 I was really fucking pissed off. No pun intended from this guy evidently.

Speaker 1 But kind of glad I didn't catch him because I probably would have dragged him by the balls to the police and then they would charge me for assault.

Speaker 1 I don't think you would because it's a guy-to-guy

Speaker 1 physical confrontation. And on his phone, there would be your dick.

Speaker 1 Anyways, a few days later, I was telling my friend.

Speaker 1 What had happened, and he said that he heard about an Asian German national being caught filming seven men in the public toilets in the same area, and he found the article online.

Speaker 1 So it turns out this 26-year-old guy is a trainee heart surgeon on holiday in Australia, celebrating his graduation from medical school. Here's the article.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Speaker 1 Well, at least he doesn't work on somebody's fucking urinary tract. I mean, he's...

Speaker 1 He at least had enough discipline to be like, listen, I can't be near the dick area. I don't trust myself.
He's up by the fucking hat.

Speaker 1 Okay, this article is slowly but surely opening.

Speaker 1 What is going on in the world? The judge went easy on him and didn't record a conviction because of his promising career.

Speaker 1 What the fuck? I guess if you're a doctor, you can get away with anything. What the fuck? So just because you're an elite student in this world, you get...

Speaker 1 Let off easy for doing really fucked up things. Apparently, none of the other men filmed were aware of what he was doing.
So I called the police in the area. he was caught.

Speaker 1 They asked me to describe what I was wearing at the time, blah blah blah, and said the phone was confiscated and the footage was deleted. I fucking hope so.
They also act, that was him saying that.

Speaker 1 I just gave it a great read so it sounded like me. If I could pat myself on the back.
They also asked if I wanted to press charges. I said fuck yes.

Speaker 1 The cop I spoke to said he would pay the pervert a visit very soon to lay the charges as the guy was due to leave the country in two days.

Speaker 1 I called back on the day he was supposed to to leave the country, but the cops said they won't be pressing charges because they had already been laid by the arresting officer and that the student had received a conviction even though the article said he hadn't.

Speaker 1 Weird. But apparently he will never be able to enter Australia again for the rest of his life.

Speaker 1 I just think it's so fucked up that these people can get away with such disgraceful actions, especially someone like this heart surgeon who could potentially be playing with some poor guy's balls as he lays under the anesthetic.

Speaker 1 I'd love to hear your thoughts. Well, they kind of have the guy in check because heart surgery, you need other people.

Speaker 1 Oh, here's a guy. German tourist

Speaker 1 Lidai Tran was fined 800 bucks.

Speaker 1 Sounds like about $100 a dick

Speaker 1 after pleading guilty. to several seven counts oh seven counts

Speaker 1 seven and eight hundred so you know he's I don't know, about 115, yeah, about 115 bucks a whack or something like that. 112 bucks, I don't know.
Counts of recording in breach of privacy.

Speaker 1 A trainee heart surgery. Okay, this guy, 26, a German national.
Jesus Christ. Even fucking Asians, if they go to Germany, they become sex perverts.
I thought it was just the Germans.

Speaker 1 What is it with that country? They just ended the peeing and the shitting. What the fuck is going on over there?

Speaker 1 So he's fined

Speaker 1 800 bucks after pleading guilty to the Brisbane magistrate on Saturday on seven counts of recording in breach of privacy.

Speaker 1 The court heard Lee had been in Australia for a month to celebrate his recent graduation from medical school when he filmed The Naked Men on Friday.

Speaker 1 Lee filmed seven men in the space of three hours by holding his iPhone over the wall of the neighboring cubicle.

Speaker 1 None of the men realized they were being filmed, but his behavior drew the attention attention of South Bank security who contacted police. Lee was arrested.

Speaker 1 The police found the video of the men on his phone. Acting magistrate, blah, blah, blah, described his actions as disgusting.
The offenses are disgusting.

Speaker 1 The offenses are disgusting offenses involving a serious breach of the privacy of other adult males. I can only assume the offending was for sexual gratification purposes.

Speaker 1 Lee's lawyer, Kate MacArthur, said her client had been accepted into cardiology unit in Germany and would fly home on January 12th. He has a very promising career ahead of him, she said.

Speaker 1 She said her client was ashamed of his actions, but asking that a conviction not be recorded against him because it could jeopardize his career and ability to travel. Mr.

Speaker 1 Schubert fined Lee $800 and did not record a conviction.

Speaker 1 Wow, man, you know, that's fucked up. That's really fucked up.

Speaker 1 That's really fucked up. And am I crazy to think that because these

Speaker 1 actions are against men?

Speaker 1 You know, something happens to a guy. It's just not as serious.
I don't think. You know, I just think that's.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Either people are like, ah, you know, they think it's funny.

Speaker 1 Like, if this is the thing, if a woman told another woman that

Speaker 1 some woman, I guess, was filming it, they'd be like, what the fuck? Am I back? No, wait, maybe because it was a woman, though. But last week was a woman.

Speaker 1 She stabbed a guy with a knife.

Speaker 1 Maybe it isn't any of these issues.

Speaker 1 Maybe if it's just if you're listening, if you want to get away with shit and you don't want to be a banker or be in an insurance company, then I would say get into, have a promising medical career in front of you.

Speaker 1 Evidently, that just absolves you of everything. That's really upsetting.

Speaker 1 All right, let's, you know,

Speaker 1 the only way to follow up that upsetting story is the only thing I know that's more upsetting than somebody filming another man peeing without him knowing is me reading out loud.

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Speaker 1 All right. All right.
So what do we got here? What do I got left to talk about?

Speaker 1 Oh, how about the fucking Nashville Predators making it a series? Winning game three. What I hope the Cavaliers do.
What I still believe the Cavaliers can do, despite the fact.

Speaker 1 I'm not going to get back into that again.

Speaker 1 The Predators win game three. I saw a little bit of it.
I was working that night, and I actually saw when they went ahead. 2-1 and then 3-1.
Was that the game? I can't remember.

Speaker 1 So here we go. I mean, from what I've heard, they've been outplaying the Penguins at least two out of the three games.
So maybe they'll tie it up.

Speaker 1 And maybe someone like myself will get what I want, which is a nice seven-game series, a nice classic. So that game's tonight.
I will definitely be watching.

Speaker 1 And this week, this week, oh, Billy Redface. I'm going to be on Howard Stern on Wednesday.

Speaker 2 Wednesday, Wednesday, Wednesday.

Speaker 1 My triumphant return. I've not been on that show since, I believe, 2003.
I did it twice in one month. I thought I was an in-guy, and I never got another invite.
So I'm finally coming back. You know,

Speaker 1 I'm psyched, psyched to finally come back onto the show. So please listen on Wednesday.

Speaker 1 And that's it. That's the podcast.

Speaker 1 Thank you for listening. And really, man, no joke.
Thank you to everybody who's been watching Efforts for Family, telling people about it.

Speaker 1 And then also taking the time to let me know how much you're enjoying it.

Speaker 1 It's just,

Speaker 1 it's really been one of the great weeks of my life. I have to be honest with you.
So no jokes or anything. Thank you guys for watching it.
Please continue to tell people about it.

Speaker 1 And because we already have sees, we know what we want to do in season three. We just have to wait for Netflix to give us the green light.

Speaker 1 And they give us the green light by you guys watching it and talking about it online, which you guys are doing. So I can't thank you enough.
And

Speaker 1 that's it. Thank you to everybody at Cluster Fest.
I had a great time. Thank you to the city of San Francisco.

Speaker 1 Thank you to the Warriors for still playing in the Oracle.

Speaker 2 You know?

Speaker 1 Great fucking old. Oh, you know what's funny? When I did that Seinfeld interview,

Speaker 1 I jokingly said that this venue feels like an old ABA arena. And evidently the old San Francisco Warriors used to play there.
So

Speaker 1 I felt pretty good about calling that one.

Speaker 1 All right, Bill, you're overstaying. You're welcome.
Okay, go fuck yourselves. I'll check in on you on Thursday.
And that's it. Let's go, Cavs.
Come on, man.

Speaker 1 If you beat the fucking Warriors

Speaker 1 with all their accoutrements that they added, all of that fucking juggernaut of a goddamn team walking around, thumping themselves in the chest, as if what they're doing.

Speaker 1 I've said this for fucking ever, and I'll say it the last time.

Speaker 1 When you were a little kid on the playground and you were choosing up teams, even little kids knew when it was getting to, when it was, no, no, no, no, this, this is not going to be,

Speaker 1 there's no competition here even as kids you knew this

Speaker 1 the warriors are doing right now they're doing something that even children know are wrong even children would break that up you know i really think it is i think stern left the nba maybe that's what it is maybe he would have stepped in who knows i always thought that that guy was shady um i do know this without a doubt cleveland's gonna win a fucking game because The NBA does not make money, nearly as much money, on a four-game series versus five, six, seven.

Speaker 1 So at some point, I'm looking for them to fucking just start calling everything on the Warriors. But then again, I am a fucking conspiracy theory, fucking freak.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I still feel like the Cavs have not played their best game yet.
All right. I'm going to say they're going to win game three.
Fuck it. I'm putting it out there.
All right.

Speaker 1 Go fuck yourselves. I'll see you on Thursday.

Speaker 1 In the afterlife, you could cleared up on a serious rifle.

Speaker 1 Now you make the sea die.

Speaker 1 But tomorrow, the sound of the sky.

Speaker 1 Now the D and the A and the M and the M and the A and the T and the I O M

Speaker 1 Lib It Balls who double play

Speaker 1 D and the A and the M and the M and the A and the T and the I O M

Speaker 1 L

Speaker 1 to Duffling