Heroine Chic, Roller Coasters, Heli-Hogging | Monday Morning Podcast 10-27-25

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Speaker 2 Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, October 27th. What's going on? How are you?

Speaker 2 Ah, geez, dear.

Speaker 2 How's your Monday going?

Speaker 2 We got the June gloom

Speaker 2 going on out here.

Speaker 2 Around here,

Speaker 2 that whole decade, I missed all of that music in the 90s. I just couldn't believe that it was over.
The 80s were over.

Speaker 2 Around here, it's bigger.

Speaker 2 Bigger than you, and you are not me. See, I go right back to the 80s, went right back to REM.
I went from that other band that had all those big hits.

Speaker 2 There were a lot of songs about runaway kids in the 90s. I do remember that.
And abused kids.

Speaker 2 You know?

Speaker 2 The 80s, it was more, you know, they were singing to those same abused kids, but they were just asking them whether or not they were still rocking.

Speaker 2 And, you know, there was only one answer to that question. The same way, like, if you play sports and you're laying on the turf and the coach comes up and says, can you still play?

Speaker 2 There's only one answer. You have to say yes.

Speaker 2 You can't say, well, no, actually, my body's telling me that there's something wrong.

Speaker 2 The music version of that in the 80s was,

Speaker 2 you know,

Speaker 2 are you ready to rock?

Speaker 2 Do you rock? Are you still rocking? There was only one answer to that question.

Speaker 2 And that was yes. You know,

Speaker 2 or yeah, you know, there was no way in any way, shape, or form you could ever tell anybody for that entire decade of the 80s

Speaker 2 that on that particular afternoon that you were not ready to rock, or you weren't rocking, or you didn't feel like rocking. Maybe you've just felt like chilling out

Speaker 2 was not an option. And that's because the cocaine was pure.

Speaker 2 No, it wasn't. They were putting bacon soda in it by then.

Speaker 2 Typical capitalism. You can't just be happy with your giant fucking mansion with the initials on the back of your chair and your two fucking elephant tucks like framing it, you know, on either side.

Speaker 2 You know, you can't be happy with that. We need to turn more of a profit,

Speaker 2 more of a fucking profit. Anyway, let's

Speaker 2 plow ahead here.

Speaker 2 Let's move on. Oh, Billy, oh, Billy Jim Rat.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 2 Billy Boy,

Speaker 2 he's going back to the gym again.

Speaker 2 It's been five years since he put on his fucking COVID weight. When the fuck are you gonna fucking commit?

Speaker 2 Stop going to the doctor.

Speaker 2 Yes, I'm going to do that.

Speaker 2 I got to finally do it. Now that I've actually gone and got my blood work, and they said my cholesterol was a little high.

Speaker 2 And then they're like, you know, we could put you on some medication, but I'm not doing that.

Speaker 2 Really? And what internal organ does that fuck up? I'm not doing that.

Speaker 2 Or I could not walk around with an extra 15 pounds on my belly that I don't need. So

Speaker 2 I've been going to the gym every day, last three days. So I got to go again today.

Speaker 2 Still doing the weights. I'm not going to become like.
Remember heroin chic? That was 90s.

Speaker 2 Heroin chic.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 AIDS

Speaker 2 sort of look, blood disease. That was actually considered hot

Speaker 2 for a minute in the 80s. Looking like, hey, is that person on heroin? Do they have a blood disease? Oh my God.

Speaker 2 Can you introduce me?

Speaker 2 Could I carry that full-grown adult like a baby? Oh my god,

Speaker 2 can I meet that person

Speaker 2 for a second?

Speaker 2 That was

Speaker 2 the thing. That was maybe the height of miserable, beautiful women, is when they had to get that skinny for the fucking weirdos that managed them and made their clothes.
It was really weird.

Speaker 2 And then Sir Mixalot came out talking about ass, and then,

Speaker 2 you know,

Speaker 2 all of a sudden they were allowed to eat again.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 this is all true, you know, if you look it up. If you go to the right website out there on the fucking inner web,

Speaker 2 the inner, the inner, inner, net, the inner web of lies.

Speaker 2 I'm still thinking about that bullshit from a few weeks ago. That was, that was a fucking, what a bunch of fucking

Speaker 2 ugh. That was one of the hardest things ever to keep my mouth shut and just not trash every one of those fucking cunts.

Speaker 2 Oh, oh, am I looking forward to running into a few people?

Speaker 2 Hey, what's the latest? What's the latest on you caring about? It's weird. All of a sudden, you don't care anymore.
What happened? You flapping your fucking

Speaker 2 fucking goddamn arms up and down. What happened?

Speaker 2 What happened?

Speaker 2 What's your cause this month?

Speaker 2 To help sell whatever project you're on, you cunt.

Speaker 2 Anyway.

Speaker 2 so my new breakfast, instead of a breakfast burrito,

Speaker 2 which by the way, having lived in New York City and now living in Los Angeles,

Speaker 2 the breakfast burrito is just, it's beyond

Speaker 2 the bacon, egg, and cheese.

Speaker 2 Bacon, egg, and cheese, like, you know, that's sort of like,

Speaker 2 what would they, bacon, egg, and cheese, as far as breakfast things, if you put it in like a, I'm doing all music today.

Speaker 2 It would be like, you know,

Speaker 2 Zeppelin Black Sabbath

Speaker 2 of breakfast sandwiches. And then like it gets more hardcore.
You know, it's Metallica,

Speaker 2 Anthrax, and all these other bands. And that's the breakfast burrito.

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 2 It's like the difference between bad na na na na n chi ka

Speaker 2 to that fucking speedmail.

Speaker 2 That fucking insane shit.

Speaker 2 I'm a fan of both.

Speaker 2 But I would definitely, I would give the nod

Speaker 2 to

Speaker 2 the breakfast burrito. And then I grew up in Massachusetts, and there really wasn't a breakfast sandwich.
The only breakfast sandwich we had up there was like a fucking Egg McMuffin.

Speaker 2 But like, you would get like, you know. bacon and eggs or something like that and a coffee to just sort of a regular breakfast.

Speaker 2 But anyway, I can't fucking do that. Right, of course, when I was getting into learning how to make a breakfast burrito, interestingly enough, I get my cholesterol check, and that is fucking too high.

Speaker 2 I was eating like that. Oh, oh,

Speaker 2 there's no more fun in the world than getting high cholesterol.

Speaker 2 So now I am back to, I have oatmeal for breakfast, or I have a parfait with the Greek yogurt.

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 you know a couple helpings because my blood sugar was low because I don't eat fruit and I also don't eat candy or any of that shit anymore so I had to have some fruit and then at night I just have like steamed broccoli and I know I know are you hanging your head too it's fucking sad steamed broccoli and like snow peas is what I snack on

Speaker 2 and

Speaker 2 the first night you put all that green vegetables into a bowl and you're looking at it as opposed to having like a fucking, you know, something fun,

Speaker 2 something that's sugary or salty. It's like, but after like two bites of it, you're like, oh, this tastes good.
This makes sense.

Speaker 2 And then you kind of like leveled out as opposed to be, it's like going, it's like the first time you stop drinking and you go to a party and everybody else is getting drunk and you don't.

Speaker 2 And at first you feel like you're missing out and then you start seeing people drunk and then you're just like, oh,

Speaker 2 oh I don't is that what I look like

Speaker 2 they're not even that drunk I used to get fucking hammock

Speaker 2 so

Speaker 2 anyway there's a number I want to get down to by the end of the year

Speaker 2 you know 172 is where I like to be but I'm going to be a little bit underneath that

Speaker 2 maybe like 169, 170. That's what I have to get down to.
I was a buck 90. I'm down to like 187 now.
So that's easy to drop that by the end of the year. A couple, two, three pounds a week.

Speaker 2 And I finally got back on the scale. And then I just weigh myself every goddamn day.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 that's the way I'm doing it. All right? I'm taking it one pound at a time.
You know, the last five years, you know, we didn't get it done. I got no one to blame on myself.

Speaker 2 So,

Speaker 2 yeah,

Speaker 2 that's what I'm up to. And other than that, let's talk some fucking sports.
Let's talk some bread that I can't eat and circus that I don't go to because of the fucking way they treat the animals.

Speaker 2 And I have a special coming out.

Speaker 2 I'm going to find the right thing to get sanctimonious about,

Speaker 2 to mock all of that.

Speaker 2 Anyway.

Speaker 2 Yeah, evidently everything must have cleared up because there's no more chatter. They must have fixed everything.

Speaker 2 Oh, it's going to be passive and it's going to be aggressive.

Speaker 2 Anyway,

Speaker 2 let's talk sports. All right, let's talk my Boston Bruins.

Speaker 2 To look at their records, you would know that they are a much improved team. We're scoring a ton of goals, but we're letting in even more.

Speaker 2 But we've had a bunch of competitive games. There's only been a few.
You know, we won the first three, then we lost six in a row. But we were in all of those games.

Speaker 2 And,

Speaker 2 you know, a couple pucks didn't bounce our way, a couple of brain farts on fucking defense.

Speaker 2 You know,

Speaker 2 too many odd man rushes, shit like that. But stuff that's it's that's fixable.

Speaker 2 We finally won. We beat the Avalanche on

Speaker 2 Saturday afternoon. And

Speaker 2 I don't know. I like what I saw.
You know,

Speaker 2 listen, I'm not like one of these fucking

Speaker 2 fans that expects in one year. Like, we are rebuilding.
Letting Marshawn go and taking that money and investing it back into the team and letting Marshawn go out as a champion.

Speaker 2 Like, I get all of that, and I know that it's going to take a couple of seasons to bring us back, but like, it's been a lot more fun to watch them this year than last year already.

Speaker 2 Shout out to Morgan Geeky, that fucking

Speaker 2 play. He came down and

Speaker 2 beat the other dude to the puck

Speaker 2 and faked like he was going around the back of the net. So the avalanche guy went around.
Not only does he go around the wrong side of the net, the dude fucking wiped out like me at a public skate.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 the goalie was looking at his own defenseman thinking he was looking at Geeky with the puck. And Geeky came back around the other side and just fucking tucked it in right at the end of the period.

Speaker 2 And I was sitting there going like, God damn, I think we're going to win this one.

Speaker 2 And then the third period came along, and my son came in and said, Dad, will you ride bikes with me? So I had to say yes. So that is, that is what anytime my kids say, can you play with me?

Speaker 2 Can you do something with me? Even if I just sat down, I just say yes because I've talked to enough parents with grown-up kids, and I'm sick of them telling me, It goes by fast.

Speaker 2 Make sure you don't miss it.

Speaker 2 And like, I know what they're saying, but it's also like you are also romanticizing how fucking exhausting it is to have little kids.

Speaker 2 And now you're looking back and you're forgetting how fucking tired you were and how you just tried to make it to 8 o'clock at night every day.

Speaker 2 You know?

Speaker 2 But,

Speaker 2 you know, my daughter's getting really good at soccer. We have this indoor soccer ball, and

Speaker 2 she legit fakes me out now.

Speaker 2 And then I act like I'm really upset about it, which cracks her up, and that's how I get the ball back. Like, I kind of just have to make her laugh

Speaker 2 if I'm going to get her back, if I'm going to get the ball back. So, anyway, so

Speaker 2 the Bruins won. I don't know if they're playing tonight, but

Speaker 2 I'm starting to book some stand-up dates for next year, and I'm going to knock out the final three teams that I need to see:

Speaker 2 the Kraken, the Mammoth, and

Speaker 2 the Carolina Hurricanes.

Speaker 2 Gonna do that. And I plan on watching every Bruins game this year.
So I'll be like totally dialed in with hockey. But I will tell you, I've watched like

Speaker 2 I missed the first three games because

Speaker 2 I was

Speaker 2 the fuck was I doing? Oh, but we had the family vacation. But you know, I was checking in on it.
And then I had time to watch. I watched six losses in a row.
And then the Avalanche game.

Speaker 2 So I've seen... most of the last seven games.
So I'm just going to stay into that. Having even said that, I can't even pronounce most of the guys' names on the fucking team.

Speaker 2 Everybody has like 17 letters.

Speaker 2 But anyway, Patriots win again. Patriots win again.
You know what I fucking love about the Pats?

Speaker 2 Their halftime adjustments have been fucking amazing over the last month. Every game, it seems, it's like it's closer to half, and then we figure something out.

Speaker 2 We have a great running game, which is opening up the passing game. We have a great passing game, which is opening up the running game.
I love that

Speaker 2 we threw three touchdown passes, three different receivers.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 just the fact that they're competitive has been great. And I know, you know, our division sucks.

Speaker 2 Speaking of which, shout out to the Jets. I'm glad they won a game, dude.
You don't want to see somebody go 1-17. This is the thing.
You go 1-16, nobody fucking remembers.

Speaker 2 You go 4.

Speaker 2 Then you're with the Buccaneers, Buccaneers, the 77 Buccaneers, and the

Speaker 2 Lions went 0-6. They were the only team to go 0-16.
Buccaneers were the only team to go 0-14. You don't want to be the first team that goes 0-17.

Speaker 2 So, shout out to them. And

Speaker 2 then I've been watching. Oh, I've been watching the World Series.

Speaker 2 Ah, fuck.

Speaker 2 What the fuck was that?

Speaker 2 Just touched my phone. Part of the plastic covering just went went into my thumb.
You know the clear thing there? Anyway,

Speaker 2 first game. I don't know if I talked about that.
Jesus, Jesus Christ there. The fucking Blue Jays kicked the shit out of him, had a nine-run inning.

Speaker 2 So everybody in Old Canada is all fucking excited. Then they come out,

Speaker 2 gain two.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I don't know. I'm, you know, I got the kids, so I don't know anybody's name.
The fucking pitcher for the Dodgers, holy shit.

Speaker 2 They were saying if you have three pitches, you can dominate a game. They said he has six, and they all come from the same location.
These fucking kids today,

Speaker 2 just the

Speaker 2 amount of information that's out there, nobody fucking thought to do that when I was growing up.

Speaker 2 It wasn't until, like, who was the first guy? I think it might have been Pedro that, like, it comes over the top the same

Speaker 2 the same sort of release. So, that's that's all come about in like the last 25 years.

Speaker 2 And the fact that people can still hit like 300, like Aaron Judge won the batting title this year, hit like fucking 330-something. The fact that you can still do that when there's guys out there

Speaker 2 that have three to six pitches that all come from the exact same location

Speaker 2 is

Speaker 2 insane. So, anyway, they come out, and there's this fucking guy behind home plate

Speaker 2 in

Speaker 2 Toronto.

Speaker 2 Fucking hilarious. He's got a shirt on.
It said, I bet on us,

Speaker 2 you,

Speaker 2 sitting right behind home plate. And like,

Speaker 2 I'm sitting there thinking, you know, just a few years ago before gambling became legal, you couldn't wear that shirt. They'd say, hey, get out of here.

Speaker 2 Get you you there with that shirt that's talking about gambling. You either got to turn that thing inside out or no, you're going to take it off right here in front of everybody.

Speaker 2 We're going to shame you with your own man boobs.

Speaker 2 And you're going to fucking take that goddamn thing off.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 because we are not going to be associated with gambling whatsoever.

Speaker 2 I mean, back in the day, like Joe Namath and Mickey Mantle opened a bar, and there was just too many unsavory type people hanging out. Shut that fucking thing down.

Speaker 2 Shut that thing down. Joe Namath was considering retiring.
That's how little people money people made back then playing sports. It's like,

Speaker 2 you know, he ain't gonna tell me fucking who can come my bar and can't. Shit, I ain't playing football right now.
I'm having a drink, wearing a fur coat.

Speaker 2 That's what Joe Namath sounded like before he fucking

Speaker 2 moved to New York.

Speaker 2 Anyway. But I just love that fucking guy.
You won one game. I know you won it like 11 to 4, but it was just one game.
And he's sitting there with that stupid shirt.

Speaker 2 And the later in the game it got, the dumber the shirt. I bet on the front of my team, you

Speaker 2 I bet on the other team, and now we're fucking one and one.

Speaker 2 What kind of a fucking asshole

Speaker 2 in a seven-game series thinks the fucking series is over after game?

Speaker 2 And why are you talking shit?

Speaker 2 You probably suck at wiffleball. This is professional baseball.
Show up with the fucking regular shirt.

Speaker 2 I bet on my team, you.

Speaker 2 I bet on the other two.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 we both have no idea what the fuck's going to happen. So, anyway, it's coming back.
It's in L.A. tonight.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I'm going to watch that. Dante Bachette is back,

Speaker 2 they put him at second base, and it's been like

Speaker 2 game one was shocking.

Speaker 2 And then I would say game two is more like what people thought it was gonna be because they also, the Blue Jays, you know, had a good picture of that game, also.

Speaker 2 But I don't know. What do you guys think? You think game three,

Speaker 2 game three,

Speaker 2 this is a big one.

Speaker 2 this is a big one because if if the blue jays fucking take this then i feel like they feel they can win the series but if the dodgers take this then it starts looking like game one was just a fluke or like a bad game but uh i was rooting for the dodgers i still love the dodgers from when i was a kid but um

Speaker 2 Yesterday, I was watching the game and I got there for the announcements in the beginning of the game and they panned down the Blue jays team and i was like is that don manningly

Speaker 2 is that donnie baseball

Speaker 2 is he in another fucking world series i gotta root for the blue jays

Speaker 2 i gotta root for the blue jays i want to see manningly get a fucking ring that guy has been so great for baseball and um

Speaker 2 He's come close a bunch of times or retired. You know, he retired from the Yankees right before Jeter and all those guys went on the run.
And I would just love to see that guy get a ring.

Speaker 2 I'll be happy either way. I'll kind of be happy either way.
But I'm just hoping it's going to be a good series. But I'm not going to lie to you.

Speaker 2 I am rooting for the Blue Jays now because I want to see Mattingly get a ring. There, I said it.
All right. Even though I'm a Red Sox fan, I don't take it that far.

Speaker 2 But I will say, Don Mattingly, like Tom Sellick and Burt Reynolds, I was saying this to a friend of mine. He just doesn't look right without a mustache.

Speaker 2 John Oates, another guy. You just, you got to grow it back.

Speaker 2 You got to grow it back. You just have, there's too much skin between your upper lip and the bottom of your nose.
There needs to be a mustache there. Other people, not so much.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 2 It all depends on how much, you know,

Speaker 2 face taint you have between

Speaker 2 your nose and your upper lip. Other people grow a mustache and they look like they're playing a villain in a silent movie.
And it's like, you don't need to do that.

Speaker 2 But Don Mattingly, that was one of the great mustaches of the 80s. There were some great mustaches in baseball.
Mike Schmidt had a great mustache.

Speaker 2 Don Mattingly, arguably, I would say, had the mustache.

Speaker 2 Who else?

Speaker 2 The 70s were probably the best with the mustaches and the fucking mutton chops or whatever. But anyway.

Speaker 2 Let's plow ahead here. Oh, yeah.
So anyway, so I'm going to be getting some, I'll have some road dates finally.

Speaker 2 I am taking the rest of the year off just because I did the play early this year and I am actually enjoying the hell out of being

Speaker 2 home and around my kids. You know, it's funny is my daughter wants to go to

Speaker 2 this amusement park because she went there with some friends and there was one roller coaster that she didn't go on. And the other kids did, and her and a couple kids didn't.

Speaker 2 And now she's like wishing that she did.

Speaker 2 So So now she's asking me to go back

Speaker 2 to go on the roller coaster and asking me if I would ride it with her. And this is the thing: I fucking hate roller coasters.

Speaker 2 I just, I do, I don't trust them. I went to six flags and I got stuck on one one time.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 they got us off pretty quickly, but it.

Speaker 2 There was a moment there where I was going, like,

Speaker 2 this is

Speaker 2 this is going to be a mind fuck like I really have to

Speaker 2 keep my wits about me and I was feeling my wife was starting to freak out as I watched these guys in yellow suits or whatever going over to the fuse box

Speaker 2 and fortunately they just flicked a switch and went again and then we were able to get off

Speaker 2 but

Speaker 2 That was the second time I was at Six Flags and something weird happened on a fucking roller coaster.

Speaker 2 And I was just like, you know, this fucking place is open seven days a week, essentially, 365, and they're just running these rides non-fucking stop.

Speaker 2 And I don't feel they do any maintenance until something happens. I'm sure there's upkeep.
I'm sure there's checking oil or whatever. But at the end of the day, it's a machine.

Speaker 2 I mean, if you're going to be running it eight hours a fucking day,

Speaker 2 10 hours a day or whatever,

Speaker 2 there's going to be some problems. So

Speaker 2 I don't mind a roller coaster. I don't mind being on a roller coaster that I'm sitting down in, and there's no loop-de-loops.

Speaker 2 I will do that, which is, you know, like basically an old school one. Because if that thing shuts off,

Speaker 2 okay,

Speaker 2 you know, they can come up, walk up the stairs, walk up the fucking hill or whatever, and they can get you out, and everybody can slowly walk down.

Speaker 2 I don't want to get stuck upside down on a loop. I've seen that happen.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I don't want to be in that Superman thing anymore because it's all of a sudden it starts feeling like there's a fucking elephant sitting on your chest.

Speaker 2 Because I was totally fine until I thought, like, well, you know, if I really wanted to, I could get out of this thing. And I tried to and I couldn't.

Speaker 2 And then that's when that sort of like awful feeling in the middle of your chest started happening. And I was like, going, all right, Bill.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 Just fucking relax. The only reason why you're freaking out right now is because you know that you want to get off and you can't right now.
If you can just block that out, everything's fine.

Speaker 2 There's plenty of blood flow. You can fucking breathe.

Speaker 2 Your wife's freaking out. So now it's time to be positive.

Speaker 2 So I just started talking to her.

Speaker 2 And I couldn't really see her. And she was trying to sit.
We were like right next to each other, but we couldn't move our fucking heads.

Speaker 2 I was just going, like, it's all right, they're over there, they're gonna do this. This, uh, this is normal, they're gonna fix it in any uh, it should be a couple seconds.

Speaker 2 Fortunately, it was, but I was totally bullshitting in my head. I was like, oh my god, the last time I heard of it, they were up there for like two fucking hours.
Um,

Speaker 2 so anyway, but my daughter wants to go, so I'm gonna go. What, hey, what are the odds it happens again? Am I right?

Speaker 2 Um, all right, let's do some reads here for the week.

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Scavenge, survive, thrive in a new extraction adventure.

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Speaker 2 All right, there we go.

Speaker 2 All right, here we go. Oh my god, look what's back.
All right.

Speaker 2 Questions from the listeners. This says Toronto.
Ugh. Hi, Billy Bald Taint.

Speaker 2 On the second reference to a taint this week. Who knew?

Speaker 2 Who knew? I'm a Canadian who absolutely cannot stand Toronto pro sports franchises, especially the Maple Leafs.

Speaker 2 Yes, now, hopefully this person, it looks like in the next sentence, they're going

Speaker 2 to explain this, but the level of hatred that Canada has for their own capital, the media capital, whatever it is,

Speaker 2 Yeah,

Speaker 2 I almost forgot. Ottawa is the capital of Canada, but Toronto is the media capital.

Speaker 2 All right, hopefully this person is going to explain it because our media is concentrated in Toronto. CBC, CTV, TSN, SportsNet.

Speaker 2 The rest of the country gets the Leafs, Blue Jays, and Raptors shoved down our throats 24-7, 365. It's incredibly frustrating.
No, I get it. That's like New York City.

Speaker 2 If any team in New York wins like three games in a row, that's, oh my God,

Speaker 2 is this the return?

Speaker 2 All the Jets have to do is win two more in a row and all of us, you'll have to fucking, someone's going to get a nickname and it's going to be, you know, all of that insufferable shit.

Speaker 2 But you have like literally like 30% better stats in Seattle and nobody cares.

Speaker 2 Anyway, then they slap the label, Canada's team. on the Jays and Raptors as if the rest of the country doesn't know there are other teams in North America to support.
It's insulting.

Speaker 2 You're lucky in the state that your media isn't concentrated in just one city. Imagine if New York were the only media hub.

Speaker 2 Well, New York is

Speaker 2 the New York sports bias.

Speaker 2 I mean, the level that Boston teams get trashed, winning or losing.

Speaker 2 Like the joy that so many people in the sports media had when

Speaker 2 Bill Belichick went to the University of North Carolina and they got their asses kicked the first. They're following this guy to college.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but New York and LA, like we have real sports rivals, rivalries with both of those cities.

Speaker 2 So

Speaker 2 I mean, I don't know. I'm surprised that you don't know this.
But like,

Speaker 2 yeah, like if you do something in New York City or in Los Angeles, it means at least 40% more than if you do it in fucking Seattle

Speaker 2 or like Milwaukee,

Speaker 2 Kansas City, or anything like that, or like Pittsburgh.

Speaker 2 No one even knows like what's happening. Like that, that kid in fucking Seattle, a shortstop hit 60 home runs.
I didn't even hear about it.

Speaker 2 I mean, I'm not totally paying attention, but if that was going on in New York or LA, forget about it. I mean, I live in LA.
But I will say New York.

Speaker 2 I would be 100% aware that there was a shortstop

Speaker 2 hitting 60 home runs.

Speaker 2 Frank Sinatra Jr. Jr.
would probably fucking write a song about it.

Speaker 2 Anyway,

Speaker 2 but he says the media isn't constrained just once. Imagine if the New York were the only media hub, Yankees, Rangers, Knicks, and Giants all day, every day.
I'm sure that would drive you nuts.

Speaker 2 Toronto also has this constant need for validation from cities like New York and LA. It's like a cringier version of Sally Field saying, Won't you like me if you just get to know me?

Speaker 2 Or the classic Toronto refrain, We're a world-class city, don't you know?

Speaker 2 Oh, no, it's a

Speaker 2 we're a world-class city, don't you know? Newsflash, world-class cities don't need to say it, they just are. Yes,

Speaker 2 yeah.

Speaker 2 There's a lot of people that

Speaker 2 could take that advice, you know?

Speaker 2 There's a lot of people, like just individual people.

Speaker 2 You know, like all of this, this fucking bravado everybody has. Everybody's, you know, you don't want this smoke.
I'm not the one. What? I said it.

Speaker 2 It's like, you're online.

Speaker 2 You're not in anybody's face right now. I don't understand.

Speaker 2 You're puffing your chest up to a computer screen. You're probably chesting up to a bot.
Like, I don't know what you're doing.

Speaker 2 Anyway,

Speaker 2 yeah, I would say

Speaker 2 in in our country that city,

Speaker 2 you know,

Speaker 2 was was always Chicago.

Speaker 2 Um

Speaker 2 they used to try to say it was Boston and like Philadelphia. Like the New York sports media created this storyline that Boston and Philadelphia had an inferiority complex

Speaker 2 because

Speaker 2 we were so close to New York, but we weren't New York. It was the most New York-like mindset.
It's just like, you're a New Yorker, right?

Speaker 2 Do you even consider Boston or Philadelphia? And they would be like, no, fuck them. It's like, yeah, we feel the same way.

Speaker 2 Nobody cares.

Speaker 2 Nobody gives a fuck.

Speaker 2 People in Buffalo don't give a fuck about Boston. I don't think about Buffalo.
Nobody's thinking about New York. Nobody cares.

Speaker 2 Nobody gives a fuck. People have their lives.
People are going to work. There's a chick there.
They want to bang. That's what the fuck they give a shit about.

Speaker 2 They give a fuck about their own hometown. They give a shit about whether or not they can fucking afford to make the rent.
That's what they're focusing on. They're not sitting there

Speaker 2 ignoring the needs of their children, counting buildings on their skyline, going, why does this city have more than us? I don't feel like a good father anymore.

Speaker 2 It's one of the dumber things.

Speaker 2 I just, you know, sports writers, they have to write about sports every day. So they just, they just sort of like invent.

Speaker 2 invent these things. And I finally discovered that that was, I brought this up before, when the Red Sox finally won a World Series and ended that 86-year drought,

Speaker 2 they started saying on ESPN, I'll tell you, if the Red Sox win, their fans aren't going to know what to do with themselves.

Speaker 2 And I was at home going, What do you mean I'm not going to go? I'm going to fucking go drink a bottle of champagne and smoke a cigar, fucking jump around the house.

Speaker 2 I know exactly what I'm going to do. And they just kept, I'll tell you right now, they're one game away, they're not going to know what to do, right? And then we win it.

Speaker 2 the whole city's going crazy jumping around celebrating as am I but then what do they do they interview people and they only cut to people going like I don't even know what to do

Speaker 2 they literally said

Speaker 2 like a kid can you say I don't even know what to do Do you want a cookie? And they just sort of like

Speaker 2 shove this narrative down their fucking, like, I've talked about this for years. Like,

Speaker 2 I lived in New York for, like, I don't know, 10, 12 years. I never heard anybody go, oh, I'm walking here.

Speaker 2 I lived in Boston, outside of Boston, for 27 years. I never met a lobster fisherman.
I never saw a lighthouse.

Speaker 2 I don't know how to tie sailor knots. All of that fucking shit that they show.

Speaker 2 I don't like,

Speaker 2 what is that shit that looks like somebody puked in a bowl?

Speaker 2 Chowder.

Speaker 2 Clam chowder.

Speaker 2 Wasn't not even a part of my life. Like, I don't even, I didn't even have an opinion on it.

Speaker 2 I just looked at it. I was like, that looks gross.

Speaker 2 I don't want to eat. fucking soup that has fish in it.
That just makes my that just makes me sick to my stomach to even think about it.

Speaker 2 and uh

Speaker 2 later on in life i i i tried it and and it was i guess it was all right but

Speaker 2 but these fucking sports channels just like you know hey you live in philly you you walk around

Speaker 2 you know eating a fucking you got a cheese steak in one fucking hand and a you know

Speaker 2 Fucking eagle and a bald eagle in your other fucking hand.

Speaker 2 They don't.

Speaker 2 You can get a cheese

Speaker 2 But that is something you can't fucking, you can't eat like that every goddamn day.

Speaker 2 Just fucking sitting around eating clam chowder every fucking day. You live in Chicago.
How often do you get deep dish?

Speaker 2 Even if you love it, how often are you fucking? They just act like they, it's why you grow a mustache. You sit there eating the deep dish pizza.
I'm a Chicago guy.

Speaker 2 So they do all of that type of stuff. So,

Speaker 2 but I 100% understand what you're talking about, where all of a sudden,

Speaker 2 you know, for whatever reason, because all the media is there, that whatever happens in that city is just like amplified.

Speaker 2 I don't know. I have no idea.
I could actually say that New York City has an inferiority complex as far as sports goes to what happened in Boston for 20 years with the joy that they have,

Speaker 2 like

Speaker 2 the Knicks beating the Celtics. You would have thought they won a fucking championship, and then they lose the next round,

Speaker 2 as always, to continue their 52-year fucking drought of no championships.

Speaker 2 But every fucking year, come playoff times, the amount of time that they're going to dedicate to showing New York Knicks fans celebrating after a fucking win in the first or second round of the playoffs

Speaker 2 is,

Speaker 2 you know, it's like every year they show fucking Maple Leaf fans

Speaker 2 standing outside their fucking like

Speaker 2 stadium, and everybody knows, everybody knows what's gonna happen.

Speaker 2 Why are you showing this? Why does failure get more coverage than in this city than success in other cities? So, yeah, I would say New York sports media

Speaker 2 is,

Speaker 2 yeah, there's a there's a bias. And I'm not shitting on New York because New York is the that's

Speaker 2 if we're gonna try to compete with Europe, you know, London, Paris, and Rome, New York City is what we got. And it is a great city, it's an amazing city, and all of that.

Speaker 2 But like hitting 300 in New York is hitting 300 in Milwaukee, but for some reason, no, in New York with this, this fucking pressure. Dude, nobody is nervous

Speaker 2 about you and that Yankee jersey that you're too fat to button. They don't give a fuck.
They have somebody throwing an object at their fucking head

Speaker 2 100 miles an hour. That's what they're focused on.
Nobody gives a fuck.

Speaker 2 You know, when I sit there with the hot dog, this fucking guy worth $100 million really feels a lot of pressure. All right.

Speaker 2 That's what you want to think.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 Let's plow ahead. This guy continues to say, and don't get me started on Toronto Sports Media disregard for Canadian domestic pro and university-level sports.
TSN

Speaker 2 often mockingly calls

Speaker 2 the Toronto Sports Network

Speaker 2 Network would rather show Division III tiddlywinks between Montana State and Chancellorville AM than Canadian university football, basketball, or hockey.

Speaker 2 Maybe that'll change because you know, down here they're showing way more the WNBA

Speaker 2 and the level of play

Speaker 2 is

Speaker 2 noticeably better.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 I think that the WNBA,

Speaker 2 I mean, at the end of the day, you're a human being and it's a basketball.

Speaker 2 All right, so if you just look at like gymnastics, you watch a guy doing a floor exercise, and then you watch the women, they do the same thing.

Speaker 2 They're doing the same like

Speaker 2 flips and shit.

Speaker 2 So they have the ability to fucking learn how to shoot and dribble if they just do it long enough.

Speaker 2 And I think now that they're going to actually get paid, even though there's nobody fucking, you know, not enough people watching it for the money that they're demanding, if there's actual money at the end of it, then I think that the next 10 years, like how L, it's kind of like how all those European basketball teams used to suck in the Olympics.

Speaker 2 And then that one dream team went over there in the early 90s, 30 years ago, and so embarrassed them

Speaker 2 that I don't know what happened. They just said, fuck this, and they focused on the game.
And now, like, you got like

Speaker 2 eight-foot-tall people hitting three-pointers like they're Larry Bird or something. So

Speaker 2 I don't know. Anyway, plowing ahead here.

Speaker 2 This person goes on to say,

Speaker 2 SportsNet, which holds the rights to the Jays, constantly puts down the CFL and the Argonauts, a franchise that actually wins championship while worshiping anything and everything American.

Speaker 2 Love your comedy, Bill. Tell the haters to go fuck themselves.
When are you coming back to Canada?

Speaker 2 I don't know. I might, you know,

Speaker 2 I might have some gigs up there soon.

Speaker 2 Yeah, but you guys still have hockey night in Canada.

Speaker 2 Don't they leave like the hockey alone?

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 I have no idea. But I will tell you this.
I do like Toronto.

Speaker 2 And I love New York. I love going there.
But I totally understand what you're saying. It's like this is all pro-level sports.
And if somebody is crushing it,

Speaker 2 they should get an equal amount of attention. Like, if you hit 60 home runs, you should be getting attention for that.

Speaker 2 Not being, well, it's 60 home runs in Seattle. I mean, shit, I would hit 30.
I mean, I barely play Wiffle, but like that whole fucking attitude.

Speaker 2 I don't subscribe to that.

Speaker 2 Or else, and I also don't subscribe to you lose in the first or second round of the playoffs every year, but you get coverage like you're,

Speaker 2 you know, I don't know what, like one of the great fucking teams out there.

Speaker 2 Anyway.

Speaker 2 Okay, NFL kicker. Hey, Bill, NFL fan from Wisconsin, go pack up.

Speaker 2 Heard you and Vergee discussing NFL kickers being able to nail 50-yarders like nothing this season and kickers getting different balls.

Speaker 2 Just emailing to give you a bit of info on the special K balls NFL kickers use and how the rules changed for this year. Parentheses, I didn't do a bunch of research on this, so feel free to disregard.

Speaker 2 This is just based on listening to Pat McAfee. You know, it's funny, I wanted to hear what he thought about it, talking about the kicking rules in the NFL over the last four to five years.

Speaker 2 Yeah, like how can they all of a sudden just kick it like 15 yards longer,

Speaker 2 it seems, out of nowhere. As far as what I know, NFL kickers have had separate balls

Speaker 2 than what are used in all non-kicking plays since 1999. The K-balls were given to each team immediately prior to game time to avoid teams having time to manipulate the balls too much before the game.

Speaker 2 Kickers complained that these balls were too slick.

Speaker 2 They were essentially brand new and rock hard, whereas the balls used in the rest of the game had been roughed up and broken in.

Speaker 2 This is fascinating. In 2006, one of the K-balls made its way onto the field by accident, and the QB dropped the snap, resulting in a fumble.

Speaker 2 They complained that it was because of how slick the K-ball was. Teams use this as as an argument to push against the K-ball rule.

Speaker 2 And after that season, each home team's equipment manager was given a short window of time before the game where they could break in a certain number of balls to be used on all kicking plays that game.

Speaker 2 That's like when you buy a new motorcycle and you got to be worried that, you know, the first turn you take, the tires

Speaker 2 still have, I don't know what, like wax on them or some shit.

Speaker 2 And

Speaker 2 the bike goes out from underneath you. Anyway, this is done under the supervision of NFL reps to ensure that the equipment managers aren't using any illegal substances or letting any air out.

Speaker 2 From what I understand, this past season they changed the rule to remove that short window of time requirement. Now teams can break balls in several days in advance.

Speaker 2 This paired with kickers being significantly better, skill and straight. Ah, get the fuck out of here with that.

Speaker 2 Three years ago, a 56-yarder was amazing.

Speaker 2 Now they're kicking them in the ball, a 56-yarder, and it's still like the net needs to stop it from going into the crowd.

Speaker 2 Anyway, this paired with kickers being significantly better skill and strength-wise than they were before the 2006 rule is why 50-yarders have seemed like chip shots this season.

Speaker 2 I could be entirely wrong, but I hope this helped

Speaker 2 cleared it up.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you know what? I mean, as far as 2006, I'm sure they are in much better shape.

Speaker 2 I mean, I don't know. When somebody runs a kickback and you see the kicker try to keep up with a

Speaker 2 returner in the NFL, they still

Speaker 2 look pretty pathetic.

Speaker 2 I don't know, but does lifting weights and getting you in shape make you faster? Probably not.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 I'll go with most of that, but I also know

Speaker 2 that

Speaker 2 each year the NFL tries to do something with rules and everything to make sure more games come down to the final play.

Speaker 2 Not so it's more exciting. It's so you'll watch all the commercials and they can make all of this and they can charge

Speaker 2 you know peak of the game fees for commercials right until the end. Because that's what happens.
If it's a blowout, people fucking turn it off.

Speaker 2 The advertisers, you know, used to be like, well, if I'm advertising in the fourth quarter,

Speaker 2 you know, if it's a tie game, people are still watching, I'll pay this fee. And if, but if it's like any more than this,

Speaker 2 if the team's down by this many points or more, I'm not paying full price.

Speaker 2 So I feel like they've manipulated the games.

Speaker 2 They've manipulated the game, so more games than not come down to this. And I also think that offense

Speaker 2 is what sells the game to the casual fan. More viewers, more ratings, more money.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 2 I feel like this is football's version of like juicing up the baseball when baseball was sort of a game of the past and all of these records that just stood for decade after decade after decade.

Speaker 2 And they never really addressed why, which was like all of these records were done when it was a whites only league and like

Speaker 2 after jackie robinson came in that's why so many of those records just are never going to get broken is just because once you let the best of the best of everybody obviously the level of play ridiculously got elevated and then each year with the knowledge

Speaker 2 That people have. Can you imagine if you had six different pitches that all came from the exact same place and you went in

Speaker 2 and pitched to people in the 1920s and 30s. They never fucking saw anything like that.

Speaker 2 No fucking way. The game, it was too early.

Speaker 2 Like, who would even like they didn't have like video cameras to even fucking analyze that?

Speaker 2 Maybe it was like a local press thing, and they would show it, but they would always be filming from like 100 yards away.

Speaker 2 There was no game film

Speaker 2 to break down and watch. I don't know.
So, anyway,

Speaker 2 hopefully that clears up more of what's going on in the fucking kicking world of the NFL. All right, I could be entirely wrong, but

Speaker 2 okay. Hot-made issue.

Speaker 2 All right, dear Billy blue-footed booby.

Speaker 2 I don't even know what that means. I got a dilemma, and I'm seeking your professional advice.
All right, I am not a professional.

Speaker 2 Okay, you have a dilemma, and you don't have the time or the money to talk to professionals, so now you're asking a comedian. Okay, so take all of this with a grain of salt.

Speaker 2 I am a 33-year-old American, American, living in Brazil. And I've been here for almost 10 years now, and I love it.

Speaker 2 I originally came to study abroad, but ended up staying and getting married to a Brazilian girl.

Speaker 2 Believe me, I understand all of that.

Speaker 2 Why? Once you go down there, those are some of the most beautiful women in the fucking world.

Speaker 2 Absolute goddesses. That whole continent.
i would say arguably has the most beautiful women in the fucking world um

Speaker 2 we have no intentions of moving to the states although we're also not that couple that says fuck the usa i could never live there we just prefer living here people like to politicize our choice to live in brazil over the usa

Speaker 2 uh anything for people to pick a fucking side yeah 100

Speaker 2 anyway recently we hired a maid to clean our apartment twice a month. It's a common practice here, especially among couples or families that work.
Brazilians are clean freaks.

Speaker 2 So we got this contract from a friend and I sent her a message and she came over to clean two weeks ago. The problem is that she is a fucking 10.

Speaker 2 She's in her 20s, has a tight ass, bronze skin, and a beautiful smile. She is gorgeous.
I work from home Mondays and Fridays and my wife works in an office every day of the week.

Speaker 2 That means that it makes the most sense for the maid to come over on Monday or Friday.

Speaker 2 Well, why not Tuesday or Thursday? I don't understand. What?

Speaker 2 She's gorgeous.

Speaker 2 I work from homes Mondays and Fridays.

Speaker 2 Oh, oh, because someone needs to let her in. Okay, I get it.
All right. Just going to come out and say, I'm not going to cheat on my wife.

Speaker 2 That is not where this email is going. I was going to say, I'm glad it isn't because had I known you were going to go in that direction, I would have, all of these, you get given a lot of details.

Speaker 2 While the maid is super friendly and nice, she seems respectful of my relationship. Parentheses, LOL for now.

Speaker 2 Anyway, my issue is that my wife doesn't know what she looks like, and I know that when she finds out,

Speaker 2 she is not going to approve. She isn't overly jealous, but Brazilian jealous in the sense that if there is a hot chick around, she gets protected of me.

Speaker 2 She isn't overly jealous, but Brazilian jealous in the sense that if there's a hot chick around, she gets protected of me. I think American women are like that.

Speaker 2 Anyway, it is kind of reasonable as girls are often flirty and hot here.

Speaker 2 Here's another side note.

Speaker 2 Dude, this sounds like a fucking porno.

Speaker 2 This is your life? Here's another side note. I lived in Portugal for a while and worked at a hostel there.

Speaker 2 While I was working there, I hooked up and then dated this Brazilian maid who cleaned the hotel. My wife is aware of this story and we weren't together at the time.
Yeah, dude, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 2 Okay, I get it. So my dilemma is this.
Do I tell my wife that this new maid is hot? She has already been over to clean twice and I haven't said anything.

Speaker 2 I don't know if it would be weird if my wife finds out on her own in the future. She could be like, why wouldn't you tell me, Is there something

Speaker 2 you are hiding? My other issue is that I don't want to tell my wife she is hot and then we have to fire her. She does good work and is and is super friendly.
What would you do?

Speaker 2 Tell the wife, ignore it. Thanks, Emilian.
And I love listening to you to remind me of home.

Speaker 2 All right, this is go fuck yourself

Speaker 2 in Brazilian Portuguese. Ve toman no su

Speaker 2 no ku? I don't know how to say it.

Speaker 2 What would I do? Yeah, I would tell her.

Speaker 2 I would tell her. I would just say, listen, the new maid is great.
She's absolutely killing it.

Speaker 2 But, I mean, this is what she looks like.

Speaker 2 I don't have any, I don't want to do anything, but I just don't want you to be seeing, you know, like, this is really hard for me to say because I don't know how your wife is.

Speaker 2 My wife is cool as shit.

Speaker 2 She would just look at her and be like, oh man, she's a fucking smoke show.

Speaker 2 Then that would be it.

Speaker 2 She wouldn't, that wouldn't bother her. But if you're, if this is something that would bother you, that's what I would say.

Speaker 2 I would just say, listen, the new maid's doing a great job and all that, but like, you know,

Speaker 2 I would just want to make sure, I don't know.

Speaker 2 There's no way to bring it up with her without her, like, well, why are you telling me? Because then she'll flip it and be like, so what? She's beautiful. Why should I be concerned? Why?

Speaker 2 What are you thinking?

Speaker 2 Here's what, like, I don't know.

Speaker 2 If you're not going to fuck her,

Speaker 2 then what's the problem?

Speaker 2 So what I would do.

Speaker 2 Yeah, you know what? I wouldn't say anything.

Speaker 2 And then if your wife has a problem, all I'm doing is protecting you in the argument because I feel like if you actually tell her, you're going to get into an argument

Speaker 2 from the way you're describing her. So what I would do, I just wouldn't say anything and be like,

Speaker 2 yeah, when she brings it up, be like, first of all, I'm married to you. Second of all, that woman's in like her fucking 20s.

Speaker 2 Oh, well, you did this before. Yeah, when I was single.
I wasn't with you.

Speaker 2 And then I would just keep it on that. And as long as you're not fucking her, what is the problem?

Speaker 2 What is the fucking problem?

Speaker 2 The problem is that you wrote in here and you said she's a fucking smoke show.

Speaker 2 So I don't know, dude. I'm choosing to believe you that you have no intentions of banging her.
But

Speaker 2 like I said, I mean, I'll be honest with you, that whole story sounds like the beginning of a porno to me.

Speaker 2 And in the porno, the wife comes home and is upset for half a second and then joins you.

Speaker 2 I don't think that that will happen in real life, but I don't live in Brazil. All right, shooting hogs with a helicopter.

Speaker 2 Shooting hogs from a helicopter, not with a helicopter. Shooting hogs from a helicopter.
Dear Migs May Freckles,

Speaker 2 have you ever heard of hella hogging? I haven't heard it put it that way.

Speaker 2 That sounds like you have a helicopter, you got to fly some overweight people. And you got to be concerned about how much fuel you're going to put in the fucking helicopter.

Speaker 2 It's the practice of shooting feral hogs with rifles from a helicopter. Yes, I've seen it.
And

Speaker 2 I mean, it's amazing. You have to factor in the speed of the helicopter with the speed

Speaker 2 of the hog. And I wouldn't think that the helicopter is always going the same speed.

Speaker 2 So it's like bow fishing if the boat was like full out, you know?

Speaker 2 I don't know. It seems really difficult.
There are millions of feral hogs running wild, running wild

Speaker 2 in the U.S. today.

Speaker 2 When European explorers were sailing all over the world, they would drop off male and female pigs on any island they came across so that they would breed with each other and future sailors who stopped at the island would have a source of food.

Speaker 2 The feral hogs in America are descended from pigs that European explorers.

Speaker 2 what the fucking thing to do to a pig.

Speaker 2 The thing is living in Europe, you know, all that great architecture and food, and then you just drop it off in the middle of nowhere.

Speaker 2 Guess there's nothing left to do but fuck.

Speaker 2 The feral hogs in America are descended from pigs that European explorers, including Christopher Columbus, set loose here in the 16th century.

Speaker 2 These hogs are considered an invasive species, are very destructive to crops and habitats, and they multiply out of control.

Speaker 2 The federal government spends over $20 million a year to manage their population.

Speaker 2 Well, why don't they use ICE to get these fucking things?

Speaker 2 In many states,

Speaker 2 I still don't understand why they have to bring those people to Alligator Alcatraz. They weren't like out there robbing banks.
They were working in restaurants. These are hardworking people.

Speaker 2 They didn't come here the right way. All right, you want to remove you? There's still a respectful way that you could get rid of them.

Speaker 2 To do it in such a mean, non-caring fashion, and for so many people to be like excited about that is just so fucking depressing.

Speaker 2 It's just fucking like, you're excited looking at that, seeing this woman crying as she's getting her kids taken out of her arms?

Speaker 2 Okay, she came here illegal, but she's working her fucking ass off.

Speaker 2 Dude, if you're an American citizen, you can murder and rape another citizen and they'll put you in a prison that is not surrounded by alligators. I don't understand.

Speaker 2 Is alligator Alcatraz even something? Does that actually exist?

Speaker 2 Or is that just something Trump said? I feel like he watches Austin Powers on a loop and is like, that's a good idea. I should do that.

Speaker 2 Anyway, in many states, there is no hunting,

Speaker 2 there's no hunting limit on them. In Texas, it is even legal to shoot them from a helicopter.
The pilot flies low enough to flush them out of wooded areas into the open.

Speaker 2 All you need is a regular hunting license. Hunters will pay good money for the opportunity to do this.
Their meat is used in pet food and is also fined for human consumption.

Speaker 2 So if you ever get sick of Hollywood bullshit

Speaker 2 and people trying to cancel your stand-up act,

Speaker 2 no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, you guys were all fucking over all over the place. You guys were on that.
That bullshit last week. Everybody was on that.
That was the funniest thing, too.

Speaker 2 Trumpers acting like they give a fuck about human rights.

Speaker 2 Your liberal ass can help save the environment by flying some cool, crazy rednecks and their guns out to shoot wild pigs.

Speaker 2 I'd help bridge the political divide. Oh, it would help to visit the political divide in this country, and God knows we could use that.
Yeah, absolutely.

Speaker 2 I mean,

Speaker 2 I wouldn't want to fly people shooting guns outside.

Speaker 2 I wouldn't mind doing it. it anyway I hope you find this interesting thanks for the podcast and please come back to Peoria sometime homer Richard Pryor

Speaker 2 yeah no it looks like not only is it a good thing for the environment it looks fun as hell it does look fun as hell and it looks way safer than hunting them on the ground I've seen enough of those hunting videos

Speaker 2 where

Speaker 2 they flush them out

Speaker 2 And you basically got one shot if you miss them. I still don't understand, you know, those those tusks they have.
Like, how that

Speaker 2 it looks more like it would be blunt force trauma as opposed to sharp, but they just will, they'll open you up like a fucking fillet.

Speaker 2 Um,

Speaker 2 they're such weird animals.

Speaker 2 Like, as they're opening you up, they're squealing like they're the ones getting fucking filleted.

Speaker 2 Right? They're like stabbing you with their tusks and then have the audacity to scream louder than you. Like, what the fuck are you screaming about?

Speaker 2 I'm the one getting fucking gored over here. All right, that is the podcast.

Speaker 2 All right, everybody, I look forward to whatever the bots tell you to be upset about next month.

Speaker 2 All right, that's it. Seriously, go fuck yourselves, have a great couple of days, enjoy the World Series tonight, and I'll check in on you on Thursday.

Speaker 4 This podcast is supported by NEON, presenting the documentary Orwell 2 plus 2 equals 5.

Speaker 4 From Raul Peck, director of the Academy Award-nominated film I Am Not Your Negro, comes a cinematic portrait of George Orwell, visionary writer of such literary classics as Animal Farm and 1984, made in association with the Orwell Estate, an official selection of the Cannes Film Festival, Orwell 2 Plus 2 equals 5.

Speaker 4 Now available on digital.

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