Super Bowl, Drones, Valentine's Day Grift | Monday Morning Podcast 2-10-25

Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr. It's time for the Monday Morning Podcast for Monday, February 10th, 2025.
What's going on? How are ya? What's going on? How are ya? I'm still here in New York, obviously, doing this fucking... well, not obviously.
Obviously, in May, still doing this gig. I can't get fucking acclimated to this time.

Every... I'm still here in New York, obviously, doing this fucking...
Well, not obviously. Obviously, it may be still doing this gig.
I can't get fucking acclimated to this time. Every fucking night, I'm laying in bed till like 2, 3 in the morning.
And I'm tired as shit. I don't know.
I don't know what the deal is.

Oh, Billy fucking sports fan.

Oh, Billy sports fan.

I went to a Bruins. It just worked out.

It just worked out.

I went to the Bruins game against the Rangers on like Monday or Tuesday last week.

And then say night, I went to the Knicks game against the Celtics. It's funny.
It was a fucking 830 game, right? So I'm there with another buddy of mine. He's a Celtics fan.
The other guy's a Knicks fan. And it's an 830 game.
East Coast, 830. And I'm like, where the fuck is it at 830? And they go, it's the national game.
Celtics start the game. Jason Tatum, what he did all night, a little crossover move, nobody touches him, and he just fucking two-handed dunk on some poor bastard on the Knicks.
Took the garden out of the game quick. The Knicks thing you know, we're up like 17, 18 fucking points quick.
This is the national game. So, you know, the refs start calling, you know, anything that we're doing or whatever.
And we're all just laughing. Even the Knicks fan.
He goes, yeah, he's got to keep it close. It's the national game, right? I don't even know where the fuck we are.
Like, the level... You know what was fun about corruption when I was young? They at least tried to hide it.
You get these fucking refs just wide open. You can fucking bet on sports at the arena arena you can see Kyle and hold some sort of fucking governmental position I wasn't see Highland I did a gig Saturday Saturday night after the game I was walking in the snow walking in the snow by the way, this whole fucking new thing with fucking guys wearing shorts

in the snow. Walking in the snow.
By the way, this whole fucking new thing with fucking guys wearing shorts in the wintertime. It was fucking snowing out.
It was that awful snow. Not the fun snow.
That makes your girlfriend go like, yay, it's so beautiful. It was that wet snow where it's almost rain but it's not not, and it's not snow, and it's going sideways.

And this fucking jerk-off comes up the street.

You know, he's got this, you know those big winter coats you'll see a homeless person have?

You know, they just grab whatever coat they can find so it's ill-fitting.

Maybe they beat up a homeless guy bigger than them, so they're fucking walking.

He had a big fucking coat like that, you know,

snow boots on, and then shorts.

I can't, the fucking shorts thing.

It's like, I get it, you don't get cold, you know?

That's the male version of a chick with, like, fake tittaring them out. Barely covering them.
And then being like, I just dress comfortable. What are you looking at? Yeah, these fucking male attention whores.
Get a fucking personality and a pair of pants. Fucking walking around.
I run hot. It's like fucking 31 degrees out.
What the fuck are you talking about? Walking around in goddamn shorts. And here's the thing.
I know some people run hot. But like this whole wearing shorts in the fucking wintertime or all year round.
That is a new phenomenon the last like 20 years. Last 20 years.
So, I don't know.

Or maybe it isn't that.

Maybe it isn't a fucking fashion.

I don't know.

I always look at shit like that just being like,

all right, that person doesn't know how to tell a story,

doesn't know how to talk to women, so they got to do something to steal focus. You're wearing shorts? But they don't get...
No! We got to fucking talk about your legs? Anyway. Anyway, and let's just say, let's just say let's just say it isn't a desperate attempt to get fucking attention you know like a hipster picking somebody off a fucking uh what is that the worst app ever that picture one.

Pim, Pim fucking whatever that is. They got the coolest fucking pictures.
You can't share them with anybody. And then like, the whole thing is just fucking erratic.
I can't figure it out. But they got great pictures.
Oh, I'll tell you. They got great pictures, okay? The hell was my goddamn point? Yeah, the hipsters.
It's like they go on there and they just pick a guy from, like, 1974 to 1982. And they're like, I'm dressing like that guy.

At least they do in Los Angeles.

I don't know if they...

Maybe in Brooklyn, too.

I don't know.

Let's just...

Okay, Bill, let's not be a cunt.

Let's just say maybe they run hot.

I run hot.

Well, then how come you're wearing a jacket?

If you run hot, wouldn't you just walk down the street like it was springtime? And if you do run hot, like what is happening to your junk in July? Wait a minute. You run so hot that like you and your woman you're trying to have a baby and you literally cannot do it in the summertime because your balls and your junk are just so fucking just heated up it cooks your sperm gross right so in the winter time in order to have, like, viable sperm, you got to walk, like, all right, honey, let's try tonight.
All right, wait a second. I got to put my shorts on and walk around the block in the snow.
Cool down my jizz. Here we go.
uh so i went over to uh gotham comedy club had a fucking shitty set i had a fucking shitty set i just wasn't like i mean the crowd was good and everything and the show went okay but like i just wasn't flowing anyway dude i saw a fucking amazing, amazing movie.

One, arguably, the greatest movie. If you grew up in the 70s and you just want to go back to it and see, like, the greatest documentation.
of how dirty this country was in the early 70s.

How brown everything looked.

And all of these fucking wannabe Cadillac four-door fucking sleds that you just like.

All of these cars that you forgot you cars that you were that you forgot you remembered if that makes any sense like oh my god i remember seeing who makes that fucking car and i was missing on all of them um is that a buick no it's a pontiac pontiac what what the fuck is that so anyway they they have this... The same guy...
I should have got these names. The same guy that choreographed the car chase in Bullet.
Stars Roy Scheider. I'm sorry, I didn't even say the name of the movie.
It's called The 7 Ups. And the full movie is on YouTube for free.
Now, I don't like watching movies for free. I have no problem paying for them.
I usually, you know, rent them for $3.99 on YouTube. YouTube low-key has better fucking movies than most streaming services because they have, like, you know, random, obscure...
Like, they don't give a fuck about an algorithm. It's like, if you upload it, it's there, right? So, anyway, Roy Scheider.
But the guy who choreographed the car chase in Bullet, Steve McQueen in that Shelby Mustang, and then the bad guys were in like that. I don't know what the fuck it was.
I'm so bad. Someday I'm going to sit down and learn the Hemi shit, some sort of Chrysler Dodge.
I don't know what the fuck it was i oh i'm so bad someday i'm gonna sit down and learn the hemi shit some sort of chrysler dodge i don't know what the fuck it was but it's badass car right and um so he does this one and this one i'll be honest with you i can't even name it was a i i want to say that the car was like a four-door fucking pontiac it was a sled and then the other one was some ripoff of a mustang or some hemi shit i don't even i don't even know who made it roy scheider's in that one and they have this car chase and it's just like bullet where steve mcqueen was driving by himself roy scheider's driving by himself and then there's the two bad guys

so the two bad guys

there's a guy in the passenger seat

named Richard Lynch

who was also in Scarecrow

with Pacino and

Gene Hackman

and he's a fucking unbelievable actor

un-fucking-believable actor

and he's the other bad guy

he's in the passenger seat

Thank you. actor un-fucking-believable actor um and he's he's the other bad guy he's in the passenger seat and what's amazing is he plays scared like that's his choice like he's fucking concerned um and it really makes the scene like come alive because the way the first one, both bad guys were stoic.
That worked in a way. But having somebody at least address what the fuck they're doing.
And by the way, they're racing all along the Upper West Side. They go over the George Washington Bridge.
Then they sort of fudge it because they go over the George Washington Bridge like they're going into New Jersey. And then they somehow end up on like the Merritt Parkway.
Like you're going up to Westchester. It is a fucking amazing, amazing car chase.

And there's a nod to Jane Mansfield in the car chase.

If you guys know that fucking story.

Anyway, absolutely, out of five stars, give it for cars i give it six stars absolutely incredible and um i've been trying to think you know now that i uh i sold my jaguar and i don't have a i don't have a daily driver um i want to i'm gonna get one of those fucking cars one of those big fucking living room cars it's gotta figure out like which one um so funny the interiors on those cars are ridiculous it's like you're driving around in a living room. It's unbelievable.
So anyway, that movie is incredible. And then I also saw...
I went out yesterday and I saw The Brutalist. Jesus Christ.
They should have called that movie The Fucking Brutalist because it is fucking brutal. Not in a bad way.
Just what the characters go through is fucking brutal. Long-ass movie, too.
It had an intermission, which I can't remember the last time I went to a movie. It had a 15-minute fucking intermission.
And I went with a friend of mine and we're looking at each other like, dude, how long is this fucking movie? Because we were going to go to the movie and then get something to eat down in Chinatown over there. And the acting in it is incredible.
So I guess it's nominated. Sorry, I'm not on time here um it was nominated to uh for a whole bunch of awards and everything and i can see why performances in there were fucking incredible so um anyway that that thing ends and uh you know it was a six o'clock movie we got out at like 10 o'clock um and we were laughing going like you know if that was on tv i don't know if i would have made it like i would have with my add i wouldn't have made it through it so i was so glad i went i saw in the movie theater um but it doesn't drag it like somehow went by.
Um, but I didn't have the distractions or anything like that.

Um, and also if you watch it at home, it's three hours and 35 minutes, but that's with

the credits.

Credits take five minutes.

So it's three and a half hours.

Um, but anyway, so we're walking out of the movie theater

and, uh,

then we're going over, walking over to, like, Chinatown

and at this point it's late and it's Sunday night

and I'm trying to figure out, you know,

I'm trying to find a place that's open or whatever

and we're talking about, uh,

the movie and shit

and I walked by

and it was so funny and I looked looked in the Superbowl was still going. That's what fucking, I just, it's so fucking awful.
Why the Superbowl has to be that goddamn fucking long. I went to the game last year and I swear to God, when they go to commercial and you're sitting in the stadium, how fucking long it is.
It just kills all the fucking drama of it. It's the only sport that does that.
It's the only fucking sport where it gets to the most important game of that sport. and then the game is so in the fucking background.
Who's performing at halftime? How much do you think that commercial costs? We normally run three, four commercials between, you know, on commercial breaks. Now we're going to run eight.
So anyway, my prediction on the game was that if they let him play,

the Eagles could beat him and Saquon was going to run wild and eat up the clock

and he would be the MVP.

But if the refs were doing their usual bullshit,

you know, the Eagles didn't have a fucking prayer. So I walked down the street and I see it's like 40 to six Eagles.
And I was like, all right, I guess they fucking, they fucking let them play. All of these people calling them out for their fucking bullshit.
They didn't get the pref retro treatmentential treatment is that what happened I have no idea I didn't watch the game but uh Verzi told me that uh Saquon you know didn't have a dominating game or whatever and Jalen Hurts got the MVP so congratulations to the Eagles um and congratulations to you guys because I swear to God, if the fucking Kansas City Chiefs won, I don't know if I was going to be able to hold my fucking tongue. But they did a good job, though.
They got Taylor Swift all the way to the Super Bowl. So the casual fan was there, but not for long.
But long enough, maybe, that they made their money, I don't know, I don't know, the only thing I saw, I did see something funny, was a bunch of Eagle fans singing something like, you know, nobody likes us, we don't care, I don't know, singing that nobody likes them, we don't care. And it was so fucking hilarious to me.

Where it was like, oh, these poor bastards,

they don't realize that it's worse than that.

It's worse than nobody likes you.

Nobody, we don't care.

Nobody's talking about you.

Like no one's standing around the water cooler in a different fucking city going,

I'll tell you, you know what what city really burns my britches. The saddest thing about Philadelphia.
And when I started to. When I first started to love that city.
Aside from the fact was I always liked their teams. despite that stupid thing that happened when I was down there with Stan, I was just going after their teams because they were booing me, right? But I always liked their teams.
I mean, the Celtics-Phillies, like, I really, not Phillies, the Celtics fucking Sixers, right? I didn't like the Sixers during that time. But now I look back, I fucking love those guys.
And I still think that 76ers, way back in the day, that the pregame, their warm-ups, whatever that they had, when Dr. J was playing on them in the early 80s is still arguably one of the best fucking logos and um whatever whatever you want to call it fucking uniforms ever and um always liked the Phillies and I loved the Flyers when I was growing up because I loved watching the fights and that was their whole fucking identity uh i did hate the eagles because i was a cowboys fan during the tom landry um um cowboys era you know i was like devastated when they beat the cowboys in 1980 and then went to the super bowl whatever but i've always liked that city you know mitchell and ness i liked um and then i liked the way the city was like laid out with all those one-way streets it made no fucking sense or anything there was a great comedy club down there so the first time i was driving down to philly um you know this is the day this is wait like fucking 30 years ago.
So I'm driving, I got a Rand McNally map.

So... you know, this is the day, this is way, like, fucking 30 years ago, so I'm driving, I got a Rand McNally map, so, you know, getting into New Jersey, it's confusing with the turnpike, I got to make sure I'm going the right way, so I get on 95 South, and I just stopped paying attention, because I'm like, all right, when I get to, like, you know, Philly,

then I'll, you know, look down at the map and see, you know, where I'm going to go, you know, to get to the comedy condo, right? And all of a sudden, I start seeing signs that I'm, you know, Maryland. I'm like, what the fuck is, you know, and you start thinking, like, how states are put together.
It's like, wait, is Philly like south of Jersey and it like abuts up against Maryland? I didn't fucking know that. I got almost to Maryland before I realized 95 does not go through.
It bypassesiladelphia and um i was pissed because it made me late but then i remember just forget what comic i was just going dude how the fuck are you guys a major city and the major fucking highway on the east Coast, the major one, 95.

95 goes through fucking Portland, Maine. It doesn't go through Philadelphia.
He's like, yeah, no. So anyway, congratulations to the Eagles.
What is that? That's their second one. and that's the first Super Bowl I hadn't watched since I missed the – when the Titans played the Rams.
But I ended up going back and watching it. So I just – I literally cannot watch a Chiefs game and listen to those fucking guys just going like, Oh, my – did you see the way Patrick Mahomes broke up? I get it, dude.
I get it. I get it.
You're telling me he's the next one. He's the next one.
I got it. I just couldn't fucking stomach watching the goddamn thing.
And I was just literally convinced. you know i i don't all all of this shit, I just, I don't, I don't think like baseball necessarily has a, baseball has a problem with cheating and gambling a little bit, and they just sort of go like, oh, you know, it's the interpreter, or okay, people have been dealt with in Houston, and then that's it, then when they win their second one we're gonna say it's their second world series and act like that first thing never happened they kind of do that but like basketball and football like i i don't i don't know anymore um i mean i'll tell you the one thing that like was most, the biggest admission of guilt to me was when that Donahue guy got busted for having mob affiliations.
And when they were telling that story, when the FBI went to David Stern and said, out of a courtesy, just to let you know, we're investigating your league. okay and then the day david stern went public and announced that that was what was happening to fuck their whole investigation what does that say to you is that not the biggest admission of guilt is that not the biggest admission of like hey these guys start turning over rocks if they turn over the wrong rock like we're all gonna go gonna go down.
Because those, because it, there was two levels of, I am, you cannot fucking convince me otherwise. There was two levels that the thing was being fixed.
It was the mobbed up guy who was not doing it for the NBA. And then it was Stern and those guys, you know, with these storylines in these cities that were making them fucking money.
And they were involved in it. And someone was going to get intimidated.
Someone was going to get scared. Someone was going to talk.
Like, I don't think I have on my tinfoil hat thinking that because, like, the number one thing that, like, these guys were all afraid of is having a cheating scandal. And if the fans know it isn't real or believe it's not real, their big panic is that we're going to all walk away from the sport and we're not going to watch anymore.
You know, so they defend that at fucking like all costs. So that's why they allow like going, oh, yeah, I didn't bet 14 million on baseball.
it was my interpreter. Because, like, if Ohtani was not a star,

if he was just some fucking run-of-the-mill guy, that's, then, they don't want that, but they would punish him, and then it makes them look like they're actually policing the fucking game. So, anyway, like, if you're the commissioner of the fucking league, and you know that there's some level of corruption there, you don't want that in your league at all.
You would work with the FBI. The FBI shows up to your office and you have, like, fucking 90 lawyers sitting around you and then you immediately sabotage the whole fucking thing to stop it.
I don't know. That does not look good to me.
And don't even give me this shit of like, well, you know, he stopped it because the investigation doesn't look good. He said, but you still have, well, then you stopped that so you didn't figure out where the corruption was coming from so then it should continue.
Why would you want to do that? Why would you want to do that unless you were part of it? So you can't fucking convince me otherwise.

So here's the thing.

I don't think that these games are like...

I don't think that they're like everything that you're watching.

Like the running backs in on it.

Every fucking basketball player is in on it.

I don't think that.

But I definitely think that back in the day that storylines came together organically. And you had to wait for greatness.
Like when a great era came to an end, there was a little bit of a lull. and then the league would have to go through a few years to try to find a new identity.
Like when the Cowboys and Steelers thing ended in the 70s. It took a little while for the 49ers.
You know, they won it in 81. Like, that whole thing ended in, like, the 79 season, right? Or you could say the NFC Championship game when the Eagles beat the Cowboys.
Okay, so the 49ers win it in 81, but that's just, like, one championship, and everybody's like, wow, man, didn't see that coming. Like, all right.
It wasn't until, like, like you know four or five years later that the greatness of Bill Walsh and Montana and all that I mean Jerry Rice wasn't even there I didn't think until the last two I think he missed 81 and 84 but the Raiders also won like in 80 and then 183. So So people like, oh, maybe are they going to be the team of the decade? You know, and then the Redskins won one and then the Redskins came right back.
Oh, fuck, is it the Redskins? It was sort of like flipping around and then it just sort of naturally played out like, oh, 49ers. 49ers.
This was their decade. And wow, Joe Montana, You're never going to see another guy like that.
And you didn't for the longest time. Even with the Cowboys, one of the things, it was like Joe Montana's the greatest.
Now it just happens. Immediately.
Whatever just happened, that, I'll tell you right now, you're not going to see another guy like that for a long, long time. And now just, I mean, it's happening again.
It's happening immediately. No waiting.
TSA, just fucking cruise right on through. So I just feel like over the years, you know, when I was watching sports like 50 years ago, they were still, you know, they were still like kind of sports leagues or whatever.
And sports wasn't as big. There was no fucking ESPN.
It was the last five minutes of the newscast. You know, there was money to be made and everything.
But like, shit that made these leagues bigger was like an accident. Like, Monday Night Football was a fucking idea.
They had no idea that, you know, that that was going to happen. That putting Howard Cosell in with Frank Gifford and Dandy Don Meredith and that the mix of that was going to be this cultural phenomenon and that the National Football League would somehow become more popular than Major League Baseball.
But what happens is when the shit happens, they go, oh, fuck, that works. Let's keep doing that.
And I think it's been that thing that they've been doing over the years oh that works keep doing that that storyline works we need this storyline it it that's where it started to get manipulated um it's kind of like just where i am i'm at with sports and um i gotta be honest with you i was always kind of like envious of people

when i would meet somebody that didn't watch sports i go jesus christ what the

fuck do you do with all of that free time that must be amazing to not give a fuck um and i feel like i'm slowly getting there rather than getting upset just being like oh okay is that is that the greatest thing that ever okay no hey yeah yeah like that exactly um anyway i am excited that they didn't win three in a row because if they won three three in a row, then I would, then I literally thought that that was going to happen, because that would have been perfect for them, because they would get to be like, okay, now he's won three in a row, nobody's ever won three in a row, so you have to now say that he is in your conversation, and you can't argue it, right? Somebody wrote that, You can't argue it. Just trolling people to call in.
Anyway, at some point, I will watch the game, but I honestly, I think I'm done. Oh, by the way, I saw, I've been listening to a lot of Ozzy lately.
I've been playing guitar here because I can't play... I haven't found a rehearsal space or anything yet to go play drums.
So I've been listening to a lot of Ozzy. And with like fucking Randy Rhodes.
Those fucking albums are fun, man. They're just...
They're fucking great great why is the second one i can never keep track of the names either diary of your madman bark at the moon and then one of those is the jakey lee album um bark at the moon diary of your madman oh hang on a second I got them in my phone right I can look these things up I do have this ability library alright O-Z-Z-Y R-Z-O-Z-B-O-N oh Blizzard of Oz Diary of a Madman that was, Blizzard of Oz. Diary of a Madman.
Okay. That was...
Yeah, Blizzard of Oz, Diary of a Madman. That's just fucking...
That's the one. Diary of a Madman is 28 minutes.
I don't understand why it's so short. Like the first one he does with Randy, I can't tell how long it is because I hate how every time you download a fucking album now, they got to have like 50 fucking outtakes or something.
It's like, can I just, I never get just the original one. I think there was, I think there was, Oh, you looking at me, looking at you, non-LP B-side.
I can see why that was not on the album that was a weak one there's like like the last two steal away and you looking at me you look uh looking at me looking at you were like fucking album fillers but everything else on that album is fucking killer uh I will tell you the fucking one that I is unexpected that almost doesn't sound like the band, and just sounds like they wrote it for a movie, is that No Bone Movies. And I don't mean because it's about movies or whatever, but it's a lot lighter and poppier sounding than the rest of the fucking album.
But goddamn, Randy Rhoades wrote some great fucking songs. And Jakey Lee.
You got to hand it to Ozzy. That guy could fucking pick a guitar player.
I've been listening to a lot of that shit. But anyway, fucking babbling here um where am i here what the fuck are the goddamn we're right where the fucking leads mate all right open phone everybody open phone if your business has a growing team handling calls whether it's sales or support you know how tricky it can be to stay on top of things.
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Okay, here we go. Girls in Sports.
Hi there, Bramble Burr. Long-time listener and fan here, and I'm also a millennial mom.
Oh, a lady. I love when the ladies write in.
A millennial mom of two. Congratulations.
You are blessed. I say that I'm a millennial because my relative age will be important in the rest of the email.
The last MMP, you read an email from a man who had to endure sitting through a woman's cricket match before a men's match that they wanted to see. This is just my perspective and I don't speak for all women.
Mainstream women's sports weren't really a thing growing up in the 90s and aughts, the 2000s. So my formative years of developing personality and interest didn't include women's sports because they weren't mainstream on the professional level.
I played volleyball and tennis in high school, but would only see those sports played by women on programs like the Olympics. Tennis? You didn't see's tennis women's tennis was amazing when you were coming up you had the williams sisters arguably the fucking peak of uh martina hingis my whole life women's tennis has been the shit Billie Jean King when I was a kid Chris Everett Lloyd

Martina Navratilova. Steffi Graff.
The Williams sisters. Lindsay Davenport.
I forgot Monica Sellis.

Yeah, and they were all fucking, you know, a lot of hardies in there, too.

There was reason to watch there.

And they were great.

And the game was played at a high level. Like, when I watched women's tennis, I actually prefer women's tennis because it's three sets to five.

Watching a men's five-set tennis match is fucking exhausting. I don't know how the hell they do it.
But I feel like women's tennis has always been there. Anyway, not to mention, I had to watch the Olympics, not to mention being surrounded by boys growing up, making fun of women's teams or women's abilities didn't help.
I'm happy that these sports exist now for my daughter when she gets older and might have an interest. Yeah, absolutely.
And they're just going to think the level is going to keep getting better. I remember when women came into the fucking UFC, I was like, I don't want to see this.
This is going to be awful. And all of a sudden it's like, holy shit, this is amazing.
So I would say women's and uh women professional fighting um I don't see a drop off in like the performance level you know I know men are stronger and they hit the fucking ball faster or they punch hard or whatever but like when you're watching two women fighting it it's not like you know I don't know it looks me. Anyway, I'm also excited that these exist for my son to also see this representation.
Yeah, so all us guys can stop being fucking meatheads about it. Well, you know, it also doesn't fucking help that, you know, you're asking for equal pay when you're not selling tickets or playing on the same fucking level.
That was also a little fucking ridiculous. Um, you know, and the amount of guys that get taken to the cleaners and fucking divorce court, you know, it taps into all of that.
So it isn't a hundred percent us being meatheads, but it is a lot. Anyway, and to answer a follow-up on why I don't follow any professional women's sports now, I'm broke and being a busy mother to two children and working full-time in this economy.
I was very excited and made a point to play a lot of Olympic coverage for my kids. I even bought a globe to help visualize where people are from where they're from.
This is so the amount of people that are struggling out there because of these fucking billionaires. And they got us all arguing liberal and conservative.
We got to stop doing that. Like I am so tired of hearing about people going to bed worried about what's going to happen next week.

There is so much fucking money in this country.

And there's so much work being done, you know.

And if you work a full fucking week at a job, you should be able to pay your fucking rent. You shouldn't have to go out and get another fucking job and still be struggling.
It's bad for the country because then the kids don't see their parents and they're not getting the upbringing that they need. It's so fucking, these, these fucking billionaires, they, they, they need to be put down, you know, like fucking rabid dogs.
They're like rabid with fucking greed and just going out and just dividing everybody. You know, just the fucking epitome of this time right now, like how divisive we are that like, you know, the Gulf of Mexico is now

called the Gulf of America and people get excited. Like, how the fuck does that help your wallet?

It's an empty gesture. And then it's also like a racist gesture.
Like that's the white guy under,

that's him saying fuck Mexicans without saying it. You know, like who has a fucking problem

with Mexicans? Like what is the real problem problem this is just such an ugly fucking time um yeah that just sucks that sucks people fucking broke anyway i i really became fascinated with the pentathlon in particular again just my perspective on why maybe there aren't great turnouts for more women supporting women in sports today. I love hearing your parenting adventures and I hope Nia and the kids are well.
Kindest regards. Yeah, those are all fucking great points.
And, you know, a lot of men making fun of how bad the WNBA looks or whatever never made a basketball team in their life. So there's also that.
It's a nice fucking outlet. The same way if somebody fucks up in sports, you know, it used to be called the goat of the game, used to to mean you fucked up.
Now, somehow that means greatest of all time.

But if you choked, you know, like a guy like Skip Bayless seems to love going off on people that, like, choked during the game. And you look at Skip Bayless.
I mean, you're in gym class. Are you picking Skip Bayless? I just think that there's you know

I get being upset that someone on your team fucked it up, but taking it to the point of trying to fucking, you know, you know, tweeting at the person and people getting death threats and shit like that, that has nothing to do with the game. That has to do with you and whatever the fuck is going on in your life.
All right. Plowing ahead here.
What's the next one here? What happened? Girls in sports. All right.
Drones at the beach. Hey, Billy Big Nuts.
Long time listener, first time writer. I'm running to you to hear your opinion and vent on something that's pissing me off.
You know what's pissing me off? Every time I fucking go to scroll on the screen, it goes back up to the top here. But you know what? I don't get as mad as I used to.
I don't give a fuck. It's kind of nice.
I'm sitting on a beach in Malaysia. Sandy Skull Beach in Langawi.
it's an incredible place, white sand and crystal blue water. Surrounded by thick, lush rainforest full of palms and green vegetation.
I can hear the birds chirping. There's monkeys swinging in the trees and a mix of locals with their children playing in the sand and tourists.
It's a beautiful scene. It sounds like it.
Then suddenly I hear a buzzing sound and I notice two drones flying above me, sweeping over the water on the beach. I notice these two middle-aged men with their Game Boy controllers in their hands looking into a screen at footage the drone is capturing.
Yeah, these things are still new and there's no legislation. Yeah, no one's going to want that.
Or what's going to happen is regular people are all going to have to deal with it, but if you're in a billionaire gated community, it'll be a no-fly zone. And if you fly in there, all legal branches will be mobilized to find you and track you down.
But everybody else can just fucking deal with it. Kind of the way everybody else can deal with potentially getting shot in the back in New York.
But if a CEO happens, we gotta fucking find this guy. I feel rage bubbling inside of me.
I know I should probably be able to move past this.

No, no, you're at the fucking beach. It's annoying.
He says, but fuck me, it's annoying. Yes, the sound of the drone overtakes any of the natural serenity on the beach.
And I see half-naked children and women in bikinis being filmed by these creeps. I tried staring at them to inform them of my disgust.
I've tried mouthing you cunts at them. I know it's immature, but I'm in the mood to confront these nerds.
Look what they're doing with your enjoyment. Am I wrong for feeling this? Is it an invasion of privacy? I'd have to say you're a young person if you're questioning if that's an invasion of your privacy.

Because people are so used to just having their privacy invaded.

It doesn't seem to bother anyone else.

Thanks for all the laughs.

I hope to see you live in Melbourne sometime in the future.

Yeah, 100%.

It's selfish fucking behavior.

It's weird.

It's voyeuristic.

You know, listen, back in the day,

they didn't have drones when I was growing up.

They had model airplanes.

And those fucking weirdos would go to a parking lot

and they would just do it there.

And everybody who was there was into it.

You wouldn't like start flying a model plane buzzing over people's heads and you certainly wouldn't have a camera on it. Here's something.
I wonder if you made something. You couldn't make it specifically for shooting down drones.
you would have to make it seem like it was for something else, but like it was actually for shooting down drones because I got to be honest with you. How exciting do drones become when you suddenly have something to shoot it out of the air and then fucking backtrace the frustration,

as that guy said famously. Well, we're going to fucking backtrace this.

I'm not a fan of drones, but if I had something in my hand that could shoot it out of the sky,

I would be very excited. Now, obviously, I'm not talking

about a gun. All right.
Relax, gun owners. This is what you do.
Speaking of guns, you go skeet shooting. So you get good at this shit.
Right. And then you go out and you buy this fucking thing.
what you do

it's sold as like a toy

that's what it is. Oh, my God.
Kids skeet shooting. And whatever the projectile is, it can't hurt somebody.
All right, this is where it's going to get hard. It can't hurt somebody to put their eye out, or else you can't make it.

But if you somehow had it...

Oh, I know what it was.

It's like a Spider-Man web.

It actually shoots a web.

Because if the web went on the fucking thing,

it would definitely take the thing down out of the sky. And if it's high enough, then it fucking breaks.
Oh, that would be fantastic. That would be fucking fantastic.
I mean, let's be honest. In a perfect world, you shoot the fucking drone down and then you wait for the person to come up who's all fucking pissed off, and then you fucking shoot him.
Taze him. You don't want to kill him.
That's somebody's loved one, but, you know, whatever. Taze him.
Something. You do something.
I don't know. I haven't worked it all out.
But I don't think you're wrong for being frustrated. Women ruined Valentine's Day.
Dear Billy Burbank Airport, after a number of awful Valentine's Days with different women, I refuse to celebrate the holiday anymore. Last year's Valentine's Day was the straw that broke the camel's back.
I have a solution for all of this. I'll read this here.
I live paycheck to paycheck. Another guy.
Paycheck to paycheck. And don't have much disposable income.
Yeah, because of billionaires. And corporate greed.
And capitalism that is no longer regulated. I got my girlfriend a heart-shaped pizza.
And tied two heart-shaped balloons on the box. It's hokey, but it's all I could afford.
Yeah, there's something romantic. There's something Bon Jovi about that.
Tommy used to work on the dock. He's living paycheck to paycheck.
He's down on his luckiest stuff. Gina works at a pizza hut.
Whatever. We ate the pizza together while we watched our favorite show.
After we were done, I noticed she looked unhappy. I asked her what was wrong and she said, I was hoping you would do something special for me this year.
Jesus fucking Christ. What the fuck are you doing for him? Nothing.
Anyway, I asked her what she meant by that and she replied with, I don't know. The conversation that followed was basically me asking her in a different way.
What was the expectation that I didn't meet? What was it that you wanted to do this year? And she answered all my questions with the variation of I don't know. Yeah, because she knows if she answers it, she's being selfish.
And then also she's just like, well, I don't want to tell you what I want. You should be able to figure it out.
I want to see you use your imagination. Meanwhile, they're not, what is she doing for you? Anyway, after some, oh God,.
All right. All right.
Big inhale. Big exhale.
Cover one eye. Look up in the air.
For some reason, people say that this is supposed to... Okay.
After some prying. Look at me.
I'm all relaxed now. I finally figured out what the problem was.
She showed me what her friends were up to on Instagram. One friend had her boyfriend take her to Catalina

Island. Another went to an expensive restaurant at the top of the tallest building in Los Angeles.

Another got a human-sized teddy bear. Oh, you're going to regret that purchase.
The fuck are you

going to do with that now? Now you got a beanbag nobody can sit on. And all my girlfriends got,

all my girlfriend got was a fucking pizza.

I get it. I'm poor, but isn't it the thought that counts? Did you notice in all those stories, none of those women are doing anything for the men.
They don't have to make any gesture. All they have to do is dress up their puss and show up to whatever the fuck you got them.
After finding out the true reason why she was upset, I just told her again.

I'm sorry.

It won't happen again.

She probably thought I meant that.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God, dude.

You said, I'm sorry.

It won't happen again. And you, I'm sorry, it won't happen again.

And you meant I'm not celebrating Valentine's.

And you deliberately worded it that way.

Dude, that is fucking.

That is cold blooded, dude.

See what these corporate, see what these corporate fucking cunts do to you.

They created an argument.

Because you didn't play the corporate game and spend money that you didn't have on shit that she didn't need. She probably thought I meant that next year I'm going to save up money and do something Instagram worthy for her.
Really, I meant it won't happen again because I'm refusing to celebrate the holiday anymore. Hey, dude, hats off to you.
But, you know, you really have to be careful here and understand. Have a little bit of empathy that she's also, you know, she's not looking through her third eye here.
All right. She's on Instagram.
She's looking at this. She's looking at how this whole thing plays out.
And she's not stepping back from the matrix and realizing how fucking stupid this is. Anyway, this isn't the first woman I've been with that expects lavish gifts and to be pampered on Valentine's Day.
A past girlfriend refused my suggestion of going to a movie and a dinner because we can do that on any other time of the year anyway. Another past girlfriend literally said, is that it? All right, dude, you got to kind of look at the women you're fucking attracting here.
After I played an original love song, I wrote about her on the guitar. I've only ever been...
Dude, if you did that in the fucking 1800s, she wrote like a fucking nine-page letter of thanks the next day with a feather. I've only ever been with one woman that expected nothing on Valentine's Day and found the concept of the holiday silly like I do.
Unfortunately, fortunately, she broke up with me after realizing she's actually a lesbian. Maybe that's why she didn't.
That was probably the true reason she didn't like the holiday. It's like, oh God, he's going to come at me with that fucking meat hammer.
I hate how to many women Valentine's Day isn't about love. It's about competition.
How it's always on the man to come up with the thing to do for that day and it better be good or else you're an asshole. Valentine's Day is coming up soon and I have zero plans for her.
I know if I ask her what she wants, she's going to say something out of my price range. I'm in a damned if I do, damned if I don't situation and I hate that this holiday has been ruined this way.
Well, you put yourself in that situation by delivering that fucking misdirection line. All right? You're setting yourself up for this fucking huge argument and now there's no way out of it because now it's a few days before.
All right? You should have clarified what the fuck you meant. And if you really love this woman, you know, you have to communicate it if you want to keep her.
So what me and the lovely Nia did a long time ago was we agreed that it's a bullshit holiday,

but it's like, I still love you and I love taking you out to dinner or like getting you. I'm just

not doing it on Valentine's day when everything is triple the fucking price and you got to get

a reservation fucking three months earlier. Yeah, it's a stupid fucking holiday that was just invented to go out there and get guys, you know, to put pressure on guys to propose to women to buy him shit and all of that.

And it's just yet another classic fucking thing where that Valentine's Day for women is women is a fucking holiday for men it's a fucking nightmare um and what's funny is if you really if you really want to see the power dynamic of a relationship how much it's in the woman's hands is how much valentine's day is validated and then there's some day for guys in march and i don't even know what the fucking name of it is um or is there like some sadie hawk is there something that's like there's a word out there like um that me is a woman that just hates men. And it begins with M.
Everybody knows misogynist. Nobody knows the other way around.
Because the way women abuse their power is not acknowledged. men abuse their power in the fucking working world.

And they abused it for a long time.

And now we're in a new world of fucking post-MeToo and social media.

So it's toned down a little bit, but not totally.

Women abuse their power in the relationship.

Maybe that's why men excel in business, because their home life is so fucking hopeless. I don't know, dude, but that makes me sad that she thinks you're going to do something for her.
There's a whole bunch of things. Women are a lot easier than men realize.
There's a whole bunch of little things that you can do just over the course of a day to, you know, make them feel loved and all of that stuff. And you should have had a mature...
You're in a pickle, dude. You're in a fucking situation.
You're really gonna hurt it dude you're really gonna hurt it this this year and uh I almost think you have to fucking do something you know what if I was you what I would do is I would actually do something this year and then after you did it just tell her the next day just be like I have to work all these extra hours for that you You know, I was planning on not doing anything, but I knew that I was going to hurt you, and I love you. I don't want to hurt you.
So I went ahead, and I bought this thing that I couldn't fucking afford. Okay, but, you know, until I find what it is that I do in the Matrix that makes me enough money, you know, we have to have an adult conversation about Valentine's Day.
Okay, I'm still paying for this shit over Christmas. I just got the bills for that, the first installments in January.
And now here we go with this shit. That would have been the way to do it.
Good luck. All right.
I got to wrap this up here. Newly moved in.
Hey, Billy. Hey, Billy, boiler tits.
You know, I'm really getting tired of these fucking comments that I'm out of shape, okay? I still got pecs, dude. I'm sliding into 60, and I still got a fucking nice chest.
My chesticles are fucking still saluting the flag. There's just fucking people in their goddamn 30s have man tits.
Not this ginge. My girlfriend and I just moved in together.
It's been two weeks and everything's great aside from the fuckload of boxes. Any advice or tips for young people starting out living together? She's not my first girlfriend, but the first one I lived with, and we love each other greatly.
I'm definitely feeling she's the one. Thanks for all the laughs.
Come do a show in Middletown, California. Go fuck yourself.
What are you asking me? Can I help you with the fact that a woman has a bunch of shit? You know what? I can't. That's what they have.
They have a bunch of shit. And guess what? All that shit they have, they're over 90% of it.
In the moment, it was going to make them feel good to buy it, and now they don't even need it. And you're going to buy them shit for Valentine's Day, and they're going to be so happy.
Whatever you buy them, shoes, purse, bag, it's going to be laying on the floor. You know, I love when you buy

them the shoes they wanted and then you go in there

and you see like one's upright and the other one's

laying on its side. Like one

shoe knocked out the other one and they're just

all, like they just threw it in the fucking closet.

And you go, look at you, just fucking,

I didn't throw it all, I was laid for

a little yelling.

They just do that shit. All right, four chord songs.
Hey, Billy, string fingers. A suggestion from a guitar teacher.
I would consider going on a run of learning a lot of classic four chord songs. Not so much the ACDC power chord type songs, but songs that are more strummy.
I like songs that are more picky, you know? Like, You Can't Kill Rock and Roll, that intro, or Seasons of Wither. I like that shit.
I think that's a good exercise, going up and down, not looking at what, you know, I play lefty, so not looking at what my strumming hand is doing. It can be a great way to build more finesse with your playing.
All right. Heavier songs require a little less than some of the more articulated, softer songs.
Classic rock and AM rock songs you grew up with are loaded with them. That is great advice, and I'm going to take that.
I will take that great advice. Thank you, sir.
All right, that is the podcast. Congratulations to the Philadelphia Eagles winning your second Super Bowl championship.
You know, I know you guys think nobody cares about you, but I do care about you. I think you have a great city, and I hope you find love.
I hope all your dreams come true because you're fellow Americans. And I don't give a fuck which way you voted.
You know why? Because fuck CNN and fuck Fox News. God bless you.
And congratulations to all the Chiefs fans out there. You had a great fucking run and all of that.
And, you know, you still got your guy there, right? You got all the people there. I don't think Taylor Swift broke up with Travis Kelsey and whatnot.
And that's it. All right.
I got to go to work. Go fuck yourselves.
Well, that's divisive. I can't tell you not to be divisive.
Do I have to change my name? That's the catchphrase. That's my moneymaker.

People show up every week to hear it.

All right, go fuck yourselves.