Super Bowl, Drones, Valentine's Day Grift | Monday Morning Podcast 2-10-25

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 2 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 2 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Bird. It's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday,

Speaker 1 February 10th, 2025. What's going on? How are you?

Speaker 1 What's going on? How are you?

Speaker 1 I'm still here in New York, obviously, doing this fucking well, not obviously. Obviously, you're me still doing this gig.
I can't get fucking acclimated to this time. Every fucking night, I'm

Speaker 1 laying in bed till like

Speaker 1 2:30 in the morning.

Speaker 1 Man, I'm tired of shit.

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know what the deal is.
Oh, Billy fucking sports fan. Oh, Billy Sports fan.
I went to a Bruin and just worked out. Just worked out.
I went to the Bruins game against the Rangers

Speaker 1 on like Monday or Tuesday last week. And then Saturday night,

Speaker 1 I went to

Speaker 1 I went to the Knicks game against the Celtics.

Speaker 1 It's funny, it was a fucking 8.30 game, right? So I'm there with another buddy of mine. He's a Celtics fan, and the other guy's a Knicks fan.
And,

Speaker 1 you know, it's an 8:30 game. East Coast, 8:30.
And I'm like, where the fuck is it at 8.30? And they go, it's the national game.

Speaker 1 Celtics start the game.

Speaker 1 Jason Tatum, what he did all night, a little crossover move. Nobody touches him, and he just fucking two-handed dunk on some poor bastard on the Knicks.

Speaker 1 Took the garden out of the game quick.

Speaker 1 The next thing you know, we're up like 17, 18 fucking points quick. This is the national game.

Speaker 1 So, you know, the refs start calling, you know, anything that we're doing or whatever. And we're all just laughing.
Even the Knicks fan. He goes, yeah, he's got to keep it close.

Speaker 1 It's the national game, right?

Speaker 1 I don't even know where the fuck we, like, the level.

Speaker 1 You know, it was fun about corruption when I was young was it was, they at least tried to hide it.

Speaker 1 You get these fucking refs just wide open. You can fucking bet on sports at the arena.
You can see Heil

Speaker 1 and hold some sort of fucking governmental position. I wasn't seek Heil.

Speaker 1 I did a kick Saturday, Saturday night after the game. I was walking in the snow, walking in the snow.

Speaker 1 By the way, this whole fucking new thing with fucking guys wearing shorts in the wintertime, it was fucking snowing out. And it was that awful snow, not the fun snow

Speaker 1 that makes your girlfriend go like, yay, it's so beautiful. It was that wet snow where it's almost rain, but it's not, and it's not snow, and it's going sideways.

Speaker 1 And this fucking jerk off comes up the street, you know, he's got this, you know, those big winter coats you'll see a homeless person have?

Speaker 1 You know, they just grab whatever coat they can find so it doesn't, it's ill-fitting.

Speaker 1 Maybe they beat up a homeless guy bigger than them, so they're fucking walking. He had a big fucking coat like that, you know,

Speaker 1 snow boots on, and then shorts.

Speaker 1 The fucking shorts thing. It's like, I get it.
You don't get cold. You know?

Speaker 1 That's the male version of a chick with like fake titties, like wearing them out, you know, barely covering them.

Speaker 1 And then you're like, what?

Speaker 1 It's fucking, I just dressed comfortable. What are you looking at?

Speaker 1 Yeah, these fucking male attention whores. Get a fucking personality and a pair of pants.

Speaker 1 Fucking walking around. I run hot.
It's like fucking 31 degrees out. What the fuck are you talking about? Walking around in goddamn shorts.
And here's the thing.

Speaker 1 I know some people run hot, but like this whole wearing shorts in the fucking wintertime or all year round, that is a new phenomenon the last like 20 years.

Speaker 1 Last 20 years.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I don't know. Or maybe, maybe it isn't that.

Speaker 1 Maybe it isn't a fucking

Speaker 1 fashion. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I always look at shit like that, just being like, all right, that person

Speaker 1 doesn't know how to tell a story, doesn't know how to talk to women, so they got to do something to steal focus.

Speaker 1 You're wearing shorts.

Speaker 1 But they don't get no

Speaker 1 we gotta fucking talk about your legs

Speaker 1 Anyway, and let's just say let's just say it isn't a desperate attempt to get fucking attention

Speaker 1 You know

Speaker 1 like a hipster

Speaker 1 picking somebody off a fucking

Speaker 1 What is that the worst app ever

Speaker 1 That picture one

Speaker 1 pim Pim not Pimsler, it's the language app. What's the fucking Pinterest? That is the worst, most confusing fucking whatever that is.

Speaker 1 They got the coolest fucking pictures. You can't share them with anybody.

Speaker 1 And then, like, it's the whole thing is just fucking erratic. I can't figure it out.
But they got great pictures. Hold on, I'll tell you, they got great pictures, okay?

Speaker 1 The hell was my goddamn point?

Speaker 1 Yeah, the hipsters. It's like they go on there and and they just pick a guy from like 1974 to 1982.
And they're like, I'm dressing like that guy.

Speaker 1 At least they do in Los Angeles. I don't know if they might be in Brooklyn, too.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 Let's just, okay, Bill. Let's not be a cunt.
Let's just say maybe they run hot.

Speaker 1 I run hot. Well, then, how come you're wearing a jacket?

Speaker 1 If you run hot, wouldn't you just walk down the street

Speaker 1 like it was springtime? And if you do run hot, like what is happening to your junk in July?

Speaker 1 Wait a minute.

Speaker 1 You run so hot that, like, you and your woman, you're trying to have a baby, and you literally cannot do it in the summertime because your balls and your junk are just so fucking just heated up,

Speaker 1 it cooks your sperm. Gross, right? So, in the wintertime, in order to have like viable sperm, you gotta walk.
Like,

Speaker 1 all right, honey, let's try tonight. All right, wait a second.
I gotta put my shorts on and walk around the block in the snow.

Speaker 1 Cool down my jiz.

Speaker 1 Here we go.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 so I went over to Gotham Comedy Club, had a fucking shitty set.

Speaker 1 I had a fucking shitty set. I just wasn't like, I mean, the crowd was good and everything, and the show went okay, but like, I just wasn't flowing.

Speaker 1 Anyway, dude, I saw a fucking amazing, amazing movie.

Speaker 1 Arguably,

Speaker 1 the greatest movie, if you grew up in the 70s and you just want to go back to it and see

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 the greatest

Speaker 1 documentation

Speaker 1 of how dirty

Speaker 1 this country was in the early 70s, how brown everything looked,

Speaker 1 and all of these fucking wannabe Cadillac four-door fucking sleds that you just like, all of these cars that I, like the cars that you rem that you forgot you remembered, if that makes any sense.

Speaker 1 like oh my god i remember seeing those who makes that fucking card i was missing on all of them

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 is that a buick no it's a pontiac pontiac what what the fuck is that so anyway they have this um

Speaker 1 the same guy ah shit i should have got these names the the same guy that choreographed the car chase in bullet stars royce shider I'm sorry, I didn't even say the name of the movie.

Speaker 1 It's it's called the seven ups

Speaker 1 and the full movie is on YouTube for free. Now, I don't like watching movies for free.
I have no problem paying for them. I usually, you know, rent them for $3.99 on YouTube.
YouTube low-key

Speaker 1 has better fucking movies than most streaming services because they have like

Speaker 1 you know random obscure like they don't give a fuck about an algorithm. It's like if you upload it, it's there, right?

Speaker 1 So, um,

Speaker 1 anyway, Roy Scheider, but they the the guy who choreographed the car chase in Bullet,

Speaker 1 Steve McQueen and that

Speaker 1 Shelby Mustang.

Speaker 1 And then the other, the bad guys were in like that. I don't know what the fuck it was.
I'm so bad. Someday I'm going to sit down and learn the Hemi shit.
Some sort of Chrysler Dodge.

Speaker 1 I don't know what the fuck it was, but it's a badass car, right?

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 so he does this one. And this one, I'll be honest with you, I can't even name it.
It was a...

Speaker 1 I want to say the car was like a four-door fucking Pontiac, it was a sled. And then the other one was some rip-off of a Mustang or some hemi shit.
I don't even, I don't even know who made it.

Speaker 1 Royce Scheider's in that one.

Speaker 1 And they have this car chasing. It's just like Bullet, where Steve McQueen was driving by himself, Royce Scheider's driving by himself, and then there's the two bad guys.

Speaker 1 So the two bad guys, there's a guy in the passenger seat named Richard Lynch,

Speaker 1 who was also in Scarecrow with Pacino and

Speaker 1 Gene Hackman. And he's a fucking unbelievable actor.

Speaker 1 Unfucking believable actor.

Speaker 1 And he's the other bad guy. He's in the passenger seat.
And what's amazing is he plays scared. Like that's his choice.
Like he's fucking concerned.

Speaker 1 And it really makes the scene

Speaker 1 come alive

Speaker 1 because the way the first one,

Speaker 1 both bad guys

Speaker 1 were like stoic,

Speaker 1 you know.

Speaker 1 Like that, that worked in a way.

Speaker 1 But having somebody at least address what the fuck they're doing. And by the way, They're racing all along the Upper West Side.
They go over the George Washington Bridge.

Speaker 1 Then they sort of fudge it because they go over the George Washington Bridge like they're going into New Jersey, and then they somehow end up on like the Merrick Parkway,

Speaker 1 like you're going up to Westchester.

Speaker 1 It is a fucking

Speaker 1 amazing,

Speaker 1 amazing car chase,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 there's a nod to Jane Mansfield

Speaker 1 in the car chase. If you guys know that fucking story,

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 absolutely.

Speaker 1 Out of five stars, I give it for cars, I give it six stars. Absolutely incredible.
And I've been trying to think, you know, now that

Speaker 1 I sold my Jaguar and

Speaker 1 I don't have a daily driver,

Speaker 1 I'm going to get one of those fucking cars, one of those big fucking living room cars.

Speaker 1 It's gotta figure out like which one.

Speaker 1 It's so funny. The interiors on those cars are ridiculous.
It's like you're driving around in a living room. It's unbelievable.
So anyway, that movie is incredible. And then I also saw

Speaker 1 I went out yesterday and I saw the brutalist.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ. They should have called that movie The Fucking Brutalist because it is fucking brutal.

Speaker 1 Not in a bad way.

Speaker 1 Just what the characters go through is fucking

Speaker 1 brutal.

Speaker 1 Long-ass movie, too.

Speaker 1 It had an intermission, which I can't remember the last time I went to a movie. It had a 15-minute fucking intermission.
And I went with a friend of mine.

Speaker 1 And we're looking at each other like, dude, how long is this fucking movie? Because

Speaker 1 we were going to go to the movie and then get something to eat down in Chinatown over there.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 the acting in it

Speaker 1 is incredible.

Speaker 1 So I guess it's nominated. Sorry, I'm not on time here.

Speaker 1 It was nominated

Speaker 1 for a whole bunch of awards and everything. And I can see why the performances in there were fucking incredible.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 anyway, that thing

Speaker 1 ends.

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 you know, it was a 6 o'clock movie. We got out at like 10 o'clock.

Speaker 1 And we were laughing, going, like, you know, if that was on TV, I don't know if I would have made it. Like, I would, with my ADD, I wouldn't have made it through it.

Speaker 1 So I was so glad I went and I saw it in the movie theater.

Speaker 1 But it doesn't drag. It like somehow went by really fast.

Speaker 1 But I didn't have the distractions or anything like that.

Speaker 1 And also, if you watch it at home,

Speaker 1 it's three hours and 35 minutes, but that's with the credits. Credits take five minutes, so it's three and a half hours.

Speaker 1 But anyway, so

Speaker 1 we're walking out of the movie theater,

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 then we're going over walking over to like Chinatown. And at this point, it's late and it's Sunday night, and I'm trying to figure out, you know, trying to find a place that's open or whatever.

Speaker 1 And we're talking about the movie and shit

Speaker 1 and i walked by and it was so funny and i looked and the super bowl was still going

Speaker 1 that's what fucking i just

Speaker 1 it's so fucking awful why the super bowl has to be that goddamn fucking long

Speaker 1 I went to the game last year and I swear to God, when they go to commercial and you're sitting in the stadium, how fucking long it is,

Speaker 1 it just kills all the fucking drama of it.

Speaker 1 It's the only sport that does that.

Speaker 1 It's the only fucking sport where it gets to the most important game of that sport, and then the game is so in the fucking background.

Speaker 1 Who's performing at halftime? How much do you think that commercial costs? We normally run three, four commercials between, you know, on commercial breaks. Now we're going to run eight.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 anyway,

Speaker 1 my prediction on the game was that if they let him play,

Speaker 1 the Eagles could beat him and Saquon was going to run wild and eat up the clock and he would be the MVP. But if the refs were doing their usual bullshit,

Speaker 1 you know, the Eagles didn't have a fucking prayer. So I walked down the street and I see it's like 40 to 6

Speaker 1 Eagles. And I was like, all right, I guess they fucking

Speaker 1 fucking let them play. All of these people calling them out for their fucking bullshit.
They didn't get the preferential treatment. Is that what happened? I have no idea.

Speaker 1 I didn't watch the game, but Verzee told me that Saquon, you know, didn't have a dominating game or whatever, and Jalen Hurts got the MVP. So congratulations to the Eagles.

Speaker 1 And congratulations to you guys, because I swear to God, if the fucking Kansas City Chiefs won,

Speaker 1 I don't know if I was going to be able to hold my fucking tongue. But they did a good job, though.
They got, you know, Taylor Swift all the way to the Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 So the casual fan was there, but not for long, but long enough maybe that they made their money. I don't know.
I don't know. The only thing I saw, I did see something funny

Speaker 1 was a bunch of Eagle fans singing something like, you know, nobody likes us, we don't care.

Speaker 1 I don't know what singing that nobody likes them, we don't care. And it was so fucking hilarious to me.

Speaker 1 Where it was like, oh, these poor bastards, they don't realize that it's worse than that.

Speaker 1 It's worse than nobody likes you. Nobody, we don't care.
Nobody's talking about you.

Speaker 1 Like no one's standing around the water cooler in a different fucking city going, I'll tell you, you know what city really burns my britches.

Speaker 1 The saddest thing about Philadelphia, and when I started to,

Speaker 1 when I first started to love that city,

Speaker 1 aside from the fact was I always liked their teams.

Speaker 1 Despite that stupid thing that happened when I was down there with Stan, I was just going after their teams because they were booing me, right? But I always liked their teams.

Speaker 1 I mean, the Celtics Phillies, like I really,

Speaker 1 not Phillies, the Celtics fucking Sixers, right?

Speaker 1 I didn't like the Sixers during that time, but now I look back, I fucking love those guys.

Speaker 1 And I still think

Speaker 1 that 76ers,

Speaker 1 way back in the day,

Speaker 1 that

Speaker 1 the pregame, their warm-ups, whatever that they had when Dr. J was playing on them in the early 80s is still arguably one of the best fucking logos

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 whatever, whatever you want to call it, fucking uniforms ever.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 always liked the Phillies.

Speaker 1 And I loved the Flyers when I was growing up because I loved watching the fights. And that was their whole fucking identity.

Speaker 1 I did hate the Eagles because I was a Cowboys fan. During the Tom Landry

Speaker 1 Cowboys era.

Speaker 1 You know, I was like devastated when they beat the Cowboys in 1980 and then went to the Super Bowl, whatever. But I've always liked that city.
You know, Mitchell and Ness, I liked.

Speaker 1 And then I liked the way the city was like laid out with all those one-way streets. It made no fucking sense or anything.
There was a great comedy club down there.

Speaker 1 So the first time I was driving down to Philly,

Speaker 1 you know, this is the day, this is way like fucking 30 years ago. So I'm driving, I got a Rand McNally map.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 you know, getting into New Jersey, it's confusing with the turnpike. I got to make sure I'm going the right way.
So I get on 95 South and I just stop paying attention

Speaker 1 because I'm like, all right, when I get to like,

Speaker 1 you know, Philly, then I'll, you know, look down at the map and see, you know, where, where I'm going to go,

Speaker 1 to get to the comedy condo, right?

Speaker 1 And all of a sudden, I start seeing signs that I'm, you know, Maryland.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, where the fuck is, you know, when you start thinking like how states are put together, it's like, wait, is Philly like

Speaker 1 south of Jersey and it like abuts up against Maryland? I didn't, I didn't fucking know that.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I got almost to Maryland before I realized 95 does not go through, it bypasses Philadelphia.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I was pissed because it made me late. But then I remember just, I forget what comic.

Speaker 1 I was just going, dude, how the fuck are you guys a major city and the major fucking highway on the East Coast? The major one.

Speaker 1 95. 95 goes through fucking Portland, Maine.
It doesn't go through Philadelphia. He's like, yeah, no.

Speaker 1 So anyway,

Speaker 1 congratulations to the Eagles. What is that? That's their second one.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 that's the first Super Bowl I hadn't watched since I missed

Speaker 1 when the Titans played the Rams, but I ended up going back and watching it.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I just, I literally cannot watch a Chiefs game and listen to those fucking guys just going like, oh my, did you see the way Patrick Mahomes broke up? I was like, I get it, dude. I get it.
I get it.

Speaker 1 You're telling me he's the next one. He's the next one.
I got it.

Speaker 1 I just couldn't fucking stomach watching the goddamn thing.

Speaker 1 And I was just literally convinced.

Speaker 1 You know, I don't, all of this shit. I just,

Speaker 1 I don't think like baseball necessarily has a baseball has a problem with cheating

Speaker 1 and gambling a little bit. And they just sort of go, like, oh, you know, it's the interpreter.

Speaker 1 Or, okay,

Speaker 1 people have been dealt with in Houston, and then that's it. But then when they win their second one, we're going to say it's their second World Series and act like that first thing never happened.

Speaker 1 They kind of do that. But like basketball and football, like,

Speaker 1 I don't know anymore.

Speaker 1 I mean, I'll tell you the one thing that, like,

Speaker 1 was the most, the biggest admission of guilt to me was when that Donahy guy

Speaker 1 got busted for having mob affiliations. And when they were telling that story, and when the FBI went to David Stern and said, out of a courtesy, just to let you know, we're investigating your league.

Speaker 1 Okay, and then the next day David Stern went public and announced that that was what was happening to fuck their whole investigation. What does that say to you?

Speaker 1 Is that not the biggest admission of guilt? Is that not the biggest admission of like, hey, these guys start turning over rocks. If they turn over the wrong rock, like we're all going to go down.

Speaker 1 Because

Speaker 1 there was two levels of, I am, you cannot fucking convince me otherwise. There was two levels that the thing was being fixed.

Speaker 1 It was the mobbed up guy

Speaker 1 who was not doing it for the NBA. And then it was Stern and those guys,

Speaker 1 you know, with these storylines in these cities that were making them fucking money.

Speaker 1 And they were involved in it.

Speaker 1 And someone was going to get intimidated. Someone was going to get scared.
Someone was going to talk.

Speaker 1 Like,

Speaker 1 I don't think I have on my tinfoil hat thinking that because,

Speaker 1 like,

Speaker 1 the number one thing that, like, these guys were all afraid of

Speaker 1 is having a cheating scandal. And if

Speaker 1 the fans know it isn't real or believe it's not real, their big panic is that we're going to all walk away from the sport and we're not going to watch anymore.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 So they defend that at fucking like

Speaker 1 all costs.

Speaker 1 So that's why they allow, like, going, oh, yeah, I didn't bet $14 million on baseball. It was my interpreter.
Because

Speaker 1 like, if Otani was not a star,

Speaker 1 if he was just some fucking run-of-the-mill guy,

Speaker 1 then they don't want that, but they would punish him. And then it makes him look like they're actually policing the fucking game.
So

Speaker 1 anyway, like,

Speaker 1 if you're the commissioner of the fucking league and you know that there's some level of corruption there, you don't want

Speaker 1 you don't want that in your league at at all. You would work with the FBI.

Speaker 1 The FBI shows up to your office and you have like fucking 90 lawyers sitting around you and then you immediately sabotage the whole fucking thing to stop it.

Speaker 1 I don't know. That does not look good to me.

Speaker 1 And don't even give me this shit of like,

Speaker 1 well, you know, he stopped it because the investigation doesn't look good. He's like, but you still have, well, then you stopped that, so you didn't figure out where the corruption was coming from.

Speaker 1 So then it should continue. Why would you want to do that?

Speaker 1 Why would you want to do that unless you were part of it? So, you can't, you can't fucking convince me otherwise. So, here's the thing: I don't think that these games are like, um,

Speaker 1 I don't think that they're like

Speaker 1 everything that you're watching, like the running backs in on it, every fucking basketball player's in on it. I don't, I don't think that, but I definitely think that, like, back in the day that

Speaker 1 you know, storylines came together organically,

Speaker 1 and you had to wait for greatness.

Speaker 1 Like when

Speaker 1 a great era came to an end,

Speaker 1 there was a little bit of a lull, and then the league would have to go through a few years

Speaker 1 to try to find a new identity. Like when

Speaker 1 the Cowboys and Steelers thing ended in the 70s,

Speaker 1 it took took a little while for the 49ers, you know, they won it in 81. Like that whole thing ended in like the 79th season, right?

Speaker 1 Or you could say the NFC championship game when the Eagles beat the Cowboys. Okay, so the 49ers win it in 81, but that's just like one championship.

Speaker 1 And everybody's like, wow, man, didn't see that coming. Like,

Speaker 1 all right.

Speaker 1 It wasn't until, like, you know, four or five years later that the greatness of Bill Walsh and Montana and all that. I mean, Jerry Rice wasn't even there, I didn't think until the last two.

Speaker 1 I think he missed 81 and 84.

Speaker 1 But the Raiders also won like in 80 and then won 83.

Speaker 1 So people were like, oh, maybe are they going to be the team of the decade? You know, and then the Redskins won one, and then the Redskins came right back. You're like, oh, fuck, is it the Redskins?

Speaker 1 It was sort of like flipping around. And then it just sort of naturally played out like, oh, 49ers.

Speaker 1 49ers, this was their decade. And wow, Joe Montana, you're never going to see

Speaker 1 another guy like that, but ba ba ba ba ba.

Speaker 1 You know, and you didn't for the longest time. Even with the Cowboys, one of the things, it was like Joe Montana's aggressive.
Now it just, they just, it just,

Speaker 1 it happens

Speaker 1 immediately. Like, whatever just happened, that, yeah, I'll tell you right now, you're not going to see another guy like that for a long long time

Speaker 1 and then now just I mean up it's it's it's happening again

Speaker 1 It's happening immediately

Speaker 1 No look no waiting TSA just fucking cruise right on through so

Speaker 1 I just feel like over the years you know when I was watching sports like 50 years ago they were still

Speaker 1 You know

Speaker 1 they were still like kind of sports leagues or whatever and sports wasn't as big. There was no fucking ESPN.
It was the last five minutes of the newscast.

Speaker 1 You know, there was money to be made and everything, but like

Speaker 1 shit that made these leagues bigger was like an accident. Like, Monday night football was a fucking idea.
They had no idea that, you know,

Speaker 1 that that was going to happen.

Speaker 1 That putting Howard Cosell in with Frank Gifford and Dandy Don Meredith, and that the mix of that was going to be this cultural phenomenon, and that

Speaker 1 the National Football League would somehow become more popular than Major League Baseball. But what happens is when the shit happens, they go, oh, fuck, that works.
Let's keep doing that.

Speaker 1 And I think it's been that thing that they've been doing over the years. Oh, that works.
Keep doing that. That storyline works.
We need this storyline.

Speaker 1 That's where it started to get manipulated.

Speaker 1 It's kind of like just where I am, I'm at with sports. And

Speaker 1 I got to be honest with you, I was always kind of like envious of people. When I would meet somebody that didn't watch sports, I'd go, Jesus Christ, what the fuck do you do with all of that free time?

Speaker 1 That must be amazing to not give a fuck.

Speaker 1 And I feel like I'm slowly getting there.

Speaker 1 Rather than getting upset,

Speaker 1 just being like, oh, okay,

Speaker 1 is that the greatest thing that ever happened? Okay, no, hey, yeah, yeah, that

Speaker 1 exactly.

Speaker 1 Anyway, I am excited that they didn't win three in a row because if they won three in a row, then I would, then

Speaker 1 I literally thought that that was going to happen because that would have been perfect for them because they would get to be like, okay, now he's won three in a row. Nobody's ever won three in a row.

Speaker 1 So you have to now say that he is in your conversation.

Speaker 1 And you can't argue it, right? Somebody wrote that. You can't argue it.

Speaker 1 Just trolling people that call in.

Speaker 1 Anyway, at some point, I will

Speaker 1 watch the game. But I honestly,

Speaker 1 I think I'm done.

Speaker 1 Oh, by the way, I saw.

Speaker 1 I've been listening to a lot of Ozzy lately. I've been playing guitar here because I can't play.
I haven't found a rehearsal space or anything yet to go play drums.

Speaker 1 So I've been listening to a lot of Ozzy and

Speaker 1 with like fucking Randy Rhodes.

Speaker 1 Those fucking albums are fun, man.

Speaker 1 They're just

Speaker 1 fucking great. Why is the second one? I can never keep track of the names either.
Die of Your Madman, Bark at the Moon.

Speaker 1 And then one of those is the J.K. Lee album.

Speaker 1 Um

Speaker 1 Bark of the Moon, Diary of a Madman.

Speaker 1 Oh, hang on a second. I got him in my phone, right? I can look these things up.

Speaker 1 I do have this ability.

Speaker 1 Library.

Speaker 1 Alright. OZZY, Ozzy Ozborne.

Speaker 1 Oh, Blizzard of Oz. Diary of a Madman.
Okay. That was.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Blizzard of Oz, Diary of a Madman

Speaker 1 That's just fucking that's the one Diary of a Madman is 28 minutes. I never understood why it's so short

Speaker 1 Like the first one he does with Randy. I can't tell how long it is because I I hate how every time you download a fucking album now they gotta have like 50 fucking outtakes or something.

Speaker 1 It's like can I just get I I never get just the original one. I think there was uh

Speaker 1 Oh, you looking at me, looking at you, non-LPB side. I can see why that was not on the album.
That was a weak one.

Speaker 1 There's like the last two: Steal Away, and you looking at me, you looking at me, looking at you, are like fucking album fillers. But everything else on that album is fucking killer.

Speaker 1 I will tell you, the fucking one that is unexpected

Speaker 1 that almost doesn't sound like the band and just sounds like

Speaker 1 it was for like they wrote it for a movie is that no bone movies. And I don't mean because it's about movies or whatever, but like just

Speaker 1 it's it's a lot lighter and poppier sounding than the rest of the fucking album. But um

Speaker 1 goddamn Randy Rhodes wrote some great fucking songs

Speaker 1 and Jakey Lee.

Speaker 1 You gotta hand it to Ozzie. That guy could fucking pick a guitar player.

Speaker 1 I've been listening to a a lot of that shit, but anyway, fucking babbling here.

Speaker 1 Where am I here?

Speaker 1 What the fuck are the goddamn right? Where the fucking leads, mate? All right. Open phone, everybody.
Open phone.

Speaker 1 If your business has a growing team handling calls, whether it's sales or support, you know how tricky it can be to stay on top of things. Like, who responded to that customer? Did anyone follow up?

Speaker 1 With open phone, you never have to wonder.

Speaker 1 They've built a system that lets you track when calls are answered, who responded, and how they handled it, all in one place, letting you focus on growing your business.

Speaker 1 Open phone is the number one business phone system. They'll help you separate your personal life from your growing business.
For just $15 a month, the cost of a couple of coffees.

Speaker 1 You can get complete transparency and and visibility into everything happening with your business and phone number open phone works through an app on your phone or computer and integrates with hubspot and hundreds of others other systems they use ai powered call transcripts and summaries so you'll have a summary of your phone call with action items as soon as you hang up and if you miss a call automated messages are sent directly to your customers meaning you'll never miss an opportunity to engage with them.

Speaker 1 Whether you're a one-person operation and need help managing calls automatically, or have a large team and need better tools for efficient collaborations, Open Phone is a no-brainer.

Speaker 1 Plus, they've won multiple awards by G2 for software reviews and are trusted by over 50,000 businesses. Jesus Christ, get to the information.

Speaker 1 Right now, Open Phone is offering 20% off your first six months when you go to openphone.com/slash burr. That's O-P-E-N-P-H-O-N-E dot com slash burr for 20% off six months.
Openphone.com slash burr.

Speaker 1 And if you have existing numbers with another service, Open Phone will part them over at no extra charge.

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 2 Sebastian Menescalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 2 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 All right. Is this a fucking listener question?

Speaker 1 Magic spoon?

Speaker 1 All right, I can't tell if this is somebody talking about doing LSD or if this is an actual thing. Magic Spoon.

Speaker 1 As a kid, I loved eating cereal.

Speaker 1 I hate when they hate when they put words in my mouth, but I will tell you, I did love eating cereal.

Speaker 1 Talk about the cereal you liked.

Speaker 1 Count chocolate, booberry, frankenberry. I wanted to like it so bad as a fucking fellow ginger, but it just wasn't good.

Speaker 1 as a kid i love magic spoon as a kid i loved eating cereal but as an adult i don't want all that sugar and most cereals don't give me the protein i need um i'm withering away over here that's why magic spoon makes cereal that tastes just like my childhood favorites but without the sugar and a ton of protein wait a minute it tastes like count chocolate and it has protein

Speaker 1 and no sugar. Oh boy.
Magic Spoons has also turned their super popular cereal into high protein treats that are light, crispy, and taste just like those classic crunchy cereal bars.

Speaker 1 Magic Spoons treats are so delicious and have become, they have already become,

Speaker 1 they will become part of your before and after gym snack.

Speaker 1 Every serving of Magic Spoons high-protein cereal has crazy macros. 13 grams of protein.

Speaker 1 Who even knows how many grams of protein you need? Zero grams of sugar sugar and four grams of net carbs.

Speaker 1 It's like when you put air in the tire of your car, you're just staring at that fucking thing.

Speaker 1 I love like on the side of the tire, it says how much fucking pressure you need, and then there's no way to gauge it. You just fucking, what am I supposed to guess here?

Speaker 1 Am I supposed to stop every two seconds and have that little tie pressure thing? Almost there.

Speaker 1 They come in so many nostalgic flavors, like cocoa, cinnamon roll, amazing array of flavors, fruity, fruity,

Speaker 1 cocoa, cinnamon roll, peanut butter, birthday cake, chocolate chip cookie, and more. Magic Spoon's high-protein treats are crispy, crunchy array, and an easy way to get 12 grams of protein on the go.

Speaker 1 They come in mouth-watering flavors like marshmallow, chocolate, peanut butter, and dark chocolate.

Speaker 1 Get $5 off your next order at magic spoon.com/slash burr or look for Magic Spoon on Amazon or in your nearest grocery store. That's magicspoon.com/slash burr for $5

Speaker 1 off.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Okay, here we go. Girls in sports.
Hi there, Bramble Burr.

Speaker 1 Longtime listener and fan here. And I'm also a millennial mom.
Oh, a lady. I love when the ladies write in.
A millennial mom of two. Congratulations.

Speaker 1 You are blessed. I say that I'm a millennial because my relative age will be important in the rest of the email.

Speaker 1 The last MMP, you read an email from a man who had to endure sitting through a women's cricket match before a men's match that they wanted to see.

Speaker 1 This is just my perspective, and I don't speak for all women. Mainstream women's sports weren't really a thing growing up in the 90s and aughts, the 2000s.

Speaker 1 So my formative years of developing personality and interest didn't include women's sports because they weren't mainstream on the professional level.

Speaker 1 I played volleyball and tennis in high school, but would only see those sports played by women on programs like the Olympics.

Speaker 1 Tennis? You didn't see women's tennis? Women's tennis was amazing when you were coming up.

Speaker 1 You had the Williams sisters, arguably the fucking peak of

Speaker 1 Martina Hingis.

Speaker 1 My whole life, women's tennis has been the shit.

Speaker 1 Billie Jean King when I was a kid,

Speaker 1 Chris Everett Lloyd,

Speaker 1 Martina Nabritolova, Steffi Graff.

Speaker 1 And then you had all the, yeah, the Williams sisters, Lindsay Davenport.

Speaker 1 I forgot Monica Sellis.

Speaker 1 Yeah, and they were all fucking, you know, a lot of hardies in there, too. There was reason to watch there.
And they were great.

Speaker 1 And the game was played at a high level. Like when I watched women's tennis, I actually prefer women's tennis because it's three sets to five.

Speaker 1 Watching a men's five-set tennis match is fucking exhausting. I don't know how the hell they do it.

Speaker 1 But I feel like women's tennis has always been there.

Speaker 1 Anyway, not to mention, blah, blah, blah, blah, I had to watch the Olympics. Not to mention being surrounded by boys growing up, making fun of women's teams or women's abilities didn't help.

Speaker 1 I'm happy that these sports exist now for my daughter when she gets older and might have an interest. Yeah, absolutely.
And they're just going to, the level is going to keep getting better.

Speaker 1 I remember when women came into the fucking UFC, I was like, I don't want to see this. This is going to be awful.
And all of a sudden, it's like, holy shit, this is amazing.

Speaker 1 So I would say women's tennis and

Speaker 1 women professional fighting,

Speaker 1 I don't see a drop-off in like the performance level.

Speaker 1 You know, I know men are stronger and they hit the fucking ball faster or they punch harder or whatever, but like when you're watching two women fighting,

Speaker 1 it's not like, you know, I don't know, it looks good to me. Anyway, I'm also excited that these exist for my son to also see this representation in sport.

Speaker 1 Yeah, so all us guys can stop being fucking meatheads about it.

Speaker 1 Well, you know, it also doesn't fucking help

Speaker 1 that, you know,

Speaker 1 you're asking for equal pay when you're not selling tickets or playing on the same fucking level. That was also a little fucking ridiculous.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 And the amount of guys that get taken to the cleaners in fucking divorce court, you know, it taps into all of that. So it isn't 100% us being meatheads, but it is a lot.

Speaker 1 Anyway, and to answer a follow-up on why I don't follow any professional women's sports now, I'm broke. And being a busy mother, to two children and working full-time in this economy.

Speaker 1 I was very excited and made a point to play a lot of Olympic coverage for my kids. I even bought a globe to help visualize where people are

Speaker 1 from

Speaker 1 where they're from. This is so the amount of people that are struggling out there because of these fucking billionaires, and they got us all arguing liberal and conservative.

Speaker 1 We got to stop doing that. Like, I am so

Speaker 1 tired of hearing

Speaker 1 about people

Speaker 1 going to bed worried about what's going to happen next week. There is so much fucking money in this country.

Speaker 1 And there's so much work being done, you know.

Speaker 1 And if you work a full fucking week at a job, you should be able to pay your fucking rent.

Speaker 1 You shouldn't have to go out and get another fucking job and still be struggling. It's bad for the country.

Speaker 1 Because then the kids don't see their parents and they're not getting

Speaker 1 the upbringing that they need. It's so fucking, these fucking billionaires,

Speaker 1 they need to be put down,

Speaker 1 you know, like fucking rabid dogs. They're like rabid with fucking greed and just going out and just dividing everybody.

Speaker 1 You know, just the fucking epitome of this time right now.

Speaker 1 Like how divisive we are that like, you know,

Speaker 1 the Gulf of Mexico is now called the Gulf of America. And people get excited.
Like, how the fuck does that help your wallet? It's an empty gesture. And then it's also like a racist gesture.

Speaker 1 Like, that's the white guy under. That's him saying, fuck Mexicans without saying it.
You know? Like, who has a fucking problem with Mexicans? Like,

Speaker 1 what is the real problem?

Speaker 1 This is just such an ugly fucking time.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that just sucks. That sucks.
People fucking

Speaker 1 broke. Anyway, I really became fascinated with the

Speaker 1 pentathlon in particular. Again, just my perspective on why maybe there aren't great turnouts for more women supporting women in sports today.

Speaker 1 I love hearing your parenting adventures, and I hope Nia and the kids are well.

Speaker 1 Kindest regards. Yeah, those are all fucking great points.
And, you know,

Speaker 1 a lot of...

Speaker 1 A lot of men making fun of how bad the WNBA looks or whatever never made a basketball team in their life. So there's also that.
It's a nice fucking outlet. The same way,

Speaker 1 if somebody fucks up in sports,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 used to be called the goat of the game. Used to mean you fucked up.
Now somehow that means greatest of all time.

Speaker 1 But if you choked,

Speaker 1 you know, like a guy like Skip Bayless seems to love going off on people that like choked during the game. And you look at Skip Bayless, I mean, you're in gym class.
Are you you picking Skip Bayless?

Speaker 1 I just think that there's, you know,

Speaker 1 I get being upset that someone on your team fucked it up, but taking it to the point of trying to fucking, you know, you know, tweeting at the person and people getting death threats and shit like that, that has nothing to do with the game.

Speaker 1 That has to do with you and whatever the fuck is going on in your life.

Speaker 1 All right, plowing ahead here.

Speaker 1 What's the next one here? What happened? Girls in sports?

Speaker 1 Alright, drones at the beach.

Speaker 1 Hey, Billy Big Nuts,

Speaker 1 long time listener, first time writer. I'm running to you to hear your opinion and vent on something that's pissing me off.

Speaker 1 Fuck, yours pissing me off every time I fucking go to scroll on the screen, it goes back up to the top here. But you know what? I don't get as mad as I used to.
I don't give a fuck. It's kind of nice.

Speaker 1 I'm sitting on a beach in Malaysia,

Speaker 1 Sandy Skull Beach in

Speaker 1 Langawi. It's an incredible place.
White sand and crystal blue water.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, is Brooke Shields walking around out there? Surrounded by a thick, lush rainforest full of palms and green vegetation. I can hear the birds chirping.
There's monkeys swinging in the trees.

Speaker 1 and a mix of locals with their children playing in the sand and tourists. It's a beautiful scene.
It sounds like it.

Speaker 1 Then suddenly I hear a buzzing sound and I notice two drones flying above me sweeping over the water on the beach.

Speaker 1 I notice these two middle-aged men with their Game Boy controllers in their hands looking into a screen at footage the drone is capturing. Yeah, these things are still new and there's no legislation.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no one's going to want that.

Speaker 1 Or what's going to happen is regular people are all going to have to deal with it, but if you're in a billionaire gated community, it'll be a no-fly zone.

Speaker 1 And if you fly in there, all like legal branches will be mobilized to find you and track you down. But everybody else can just fucking deal with it.

Speaker 1 Kind of the way everybody else can deal with, you know, potentially getting shot in the back in New York. But if a CEO happens, oh, we got to fucking find this guy.
I feel rage bubbling inside of me.

Speaker 1 I know I should probably be able to move past this. No, no, you're at the fucking beach.
It's annoying.

Speaker 1 He says, but fuck me, it's annoying. Yes, the sound of the drone overtakes any of the natural serenity on the beach.
And I see half-naked children and women in bikinis being filmed by these creeps.

Speaker 1 I tried staring at them to inform them of my disgust. I've tried mouthing you cunts at them.
I know it's immature, but I'm in the mood to confront these nerds.

Speaker 1 You look what they're doing with your enjoyment.

Speaker 1 Am I wrong for feeling this? Is it an invasion of privacy? I'd have to say you're a young person if you're questioning if that's an invasion of your privacy.

Speaker 1 Because people are so used to just having their privacy invaded.

Speaker 1 It doesn't seem to bother anyone else. Thanks for all the laughs.
I hope to see you live in Melbourne sometime in the future. Yeah, 100%.

Speaker 1 It's selfish fucking behavior. It's weird.

Speaker 1 It's voyeuristic.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 listen, back in the day, they didn't have drones when I was growing up. They had model airplanes.
And those fucking weirdos would go to a parking lot and they would just do it there.

Speaker 1 And everybody who was there was into it. You wouldn't like start flying a model plane buzzing over people's heads, and you certainly wouldn't have a camera on it.

Speaker 1 Here's something. I wonder if you made something.

Speaker 1 You couldn't make it specifically for shooting down drones.

Speaker 1 It would have to be, you would have to make, make it seem like it was for something else,

Speaker 1 but like it was actually for shooting down drones. Because I got to be honest with you.

Speaker 1 How exciting do drones become when you suddenly have something to shoot it out of the air

Speaker 1 and then

Speaker 1 fucking backtrace the frustration, as that guy guy said famously. Well, we're going to fucking backtrace this.

Speaker 1 I'm not a fan of drones, but if I had something

Speaker 1 in my hand that could shoot it out of the sky, I would be very excited. Now, obviously, I'm not talking about a gun.
All right? Relax gun owners.

Speaker 1 This is what you do. Speaking of guns, you go skeet shooting, so you get good at this shit, right? And then you go out and you buy this fucking thing.
What you do, oh,

Speaker 1 it's sold as like a toy.

Speaker 1 That's what it is.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 1 Kids skeet shooting.

Speaker 1 And whatever the projectile is, it can't hurt somebody.

Speaker 1 All right, this is this is where it's going to get hard. It can't hurt somebody to put their eye out, or else you can't make it.

Speaker 1 But if you somehow had it,

Speaker 1 oh I know what it was it's like a Spider-Man web it actually shoots a web

Speaker 1 because what if the web went on the fucking thing

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 it would it would definitely take the thing down out of the sky and if it's high enough then it fucking breaks oh that would be fantastic That would be fucking fantastic.

Speaker 1 I mean, let's be honest. In a perfect perfect world, you shoot the fucking drone down, and then you wait for the person to come up who's all fucking pissed off, and then you fucking shoot him.

Speaker 1 Tase him. You don't want to kill him.
That's somebody's loved one, but you know, whatever. Tase him.

Speaker 1 Something.

Speaker 1 You do something. I don't know.
I haven't worked it all up. But I don't think you're wrong for being frustrated.

Speaker 1 Women ruined Valentine's Day.

Speaker 1 Dear Billy Burbank Airport. After a number of awful Valentine's Days with different women, I refuse to celebrate the holiday anymore.

Speaker 1 Last year's Valentine's Day was the straw that broke the camel's back. I have a solution for all of this, and

Speaker 1 I'll read this here. I live paycheck to paycheck, another guy, paycheck to paycheck, and don't have much disposable income.
Yeah, because of billionaires and corporate greed

Speaker 1 and capitalism that is no longer regulated.

Speaker 1 I got my girlfriend a heart-shaped pizza and tied two heart-shaped balloons on the box. It's hokey, but it's all I could afford.
Yeah, that's just something romantic.

Speaker 1 There's something bon jovi about that. Tommy used to work on the dock.

Speaker 1 He's living paycheck to paycheck. He's down on his luck.
It's tough.

Speaker 1 Gina works at a pizza hut. Um,

Speaker 1 whatever. We ate the pizza together while we watched our favorite show.
After After we were done, I noticed she looked unhappy.

Speaker 1 I asked her what was wrong, and she said, I was hoping you would do something special for me this year.

Speaker 1 Jesus fucking Christ. What the fuck are you doing for him?

Speaker 1 Nothing.

Speaker 1 Anyway, I asked her what she meant by that and she replied with, I don't know.

Speaker 1 The conversation that followed was basically me asking her in a different way, what was the expectation that it didn't meet? What was it that you wanted to do this year?

Speaker 1 And she answered all my questions with the variation of, I don't know.

Speaker 1 Yeah, because she knows if she answers it, she's being selfish. And then also, she's just like, well, I don't want to tell you what I want.
You should be able to figure it out.

Speaker 1 I want to see you use your imagination. Meanwhile, they're not, what is she doing for you?

Speaker 1 Anyway, after some. Oh, God.
All right. All right.

Speaker 1 Big inhale, big exhale, cover one eye, look look up in the air. For some reason, people say that this is supposed to.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 After some prying, look at me, I'm all relaxed now. I finally figured out what the problem was.
She showed me what her friends were up to on Instagram.

Speaker 1 One friend had her boyfriend take her to Catalina Island. Another went to an expensive restaurant at the top of the tallest building in Los Angeles.
Another got a human-sized teddy bear.

Speaker 1 Oh, you're going to regret that purchase. The fuck are you going to do with that now? Now you've got a beanbag nobody can sit on.
And all my girlfriends got

Speaker 1 all my girlfriend got was a fucking pizza. I get it, I'm poor, but isn't it the thought that counts?

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 did you notice in all those stories, none of those women are doing anything for the men? They don't have to make any gesture.

Speaker 1 All they have to do is dress up their puss and show up to whatever the fuck you got them.

Speaker 1 After finding out the true reason why she was upset, I just told her again, I'm sorry, it won't happen again. She probably thought I meant that

Speaker 1 oh my god,

Speaker 1 oh my god, dude.

Speaker 1 You said I'm sorry, it won't happen again, and you meant I'm not celebrating Valentine's?

Speaker 1 And you deliberately worded it that way, dude, that is fucking

Speaker 1 that is cold-blooded, dude.

Speaker 1 See what these corporate fucking cunts studio? They created an argument because you didn't play the corporate game and spend money that you didn't have on shit that she didn't need.

Speaker 1 She probably thought I meant that next year I'm going to save up money and do something Instagram worthy for her.

Speaker 1 Really, I meant it won't happen again because I'm refusing to celebrate the holiday anymore. Hey, dude, hats off to you.
But, you know, you really have to be careful here and understand,

Speaker 1 have a little bit of empathy that she's also, you know, she's not looking through her third eye here.

Speaker 1 All right, she's on Instagram, she's looking at this, she's looking at how this whole thing plays out, and she's not stepping back from the matrix and realizing how fucking stupid this is.

Speaker 1 Anyway, this isn't the first woman I've been with that expects lavish gifts and to be pampered on Valentine's Day.

Speaker 1 A past girlfriend refused my suggestion of going to a movie and a dinner because we can do that on any other time of

Speaker 1 the year anyway. Another past girlfriend literally said, is that it?

Speaker 1 Alright dude, you got to kind of look at the women you're fucking attracting here. After I played an original love song, I wrote about her on the guitar.

Speaker 1 I've only ever been, dude, if you did that in the fucking 1800s,

Speaker 1 She

Speaker 1 wrote like a fucking nine-page letter of thanks the next day with a feather.

Speaker 1 I've only ever been with one woman that expected nothing on Valentine's Day and found the concept of the holiday silly like I do.

Speaker 1 Fortunately, she broke up with me after realizing she's actually a lesbian.

Speaker 1 Maybe that's why she didn't, that was probably the true reason she didn't like the holiday. It's like, oh God, he's going to come at me with that fucking meat hammer.

Speaker 1 I hate how To many women Valentine's Day isn't about love.

Speaker 1 It's about competition How it's always on the man to come up with the thing to do for that day, and it better be good, or else you're an asshole.

Speaker 1 Valentine's Day is coming up soon, and I have zero plans for her.

Speaker 1 I know if I ask her what she wants, she's going to say something out of my price range. I'm

Speaker 1 in a damned if I do, damned if I don't situation, and I hate this hot

Speaker 1 that this holiday has been ruined this way. Well, you put yourself in that situation by delivering that fucking misdirection line.

Speaker 1 All right, you're setting yourself up for this fucking huge argument, and now there's no way out of it because now it's a few days before.

Speaker 1 All right, you should have clarified what the fuck you meant. And if you really love this woman,

Speaker 1 you know, you have to communicate it if you want to keep her.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 what me and the lovely Nia did a long time ago

Speaker 1 was we agreed that it's a bullshit holiday,

Speaker 1 but it's like I still love you, and I love taking you out to dinner or like getting you. I'm just not doing it

Speaker 1 on Valentine's Day when everything is triple the fucking price and you got to get a reservation fucking three months earlier.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's it's a

Speaker 1 stupid fucking holiday That was just invented to go out there and get guys you know to put pressure on guys to propose to women to buy them shit and all of that and it's just yet another classic fucking thing Where that Valentine's Day for women is a fucking holiday for men.

Speaker 1 It's a fucking nightmare

Speaker 1 And what's funny is if you really if you really want to see the power dynamic of a relationship, how much it's in the woman's hands is

Speaker 1 how much Valentine's Day is validated, and then there's some day for guys in March. And I don't even know what the fucking name of it is.

Speaker 1 Or is there like some Sadie Hawkins or something? That's like there's a word out there

Speaker 1 like

Speaker 1 that is a woman that just hates men. And it begins with M.
Everybody knows misogynists, nobody knows the other way around

Speaker 1 because the way women abuse their power is not acknowledged. Men abuse their power in the fucking working world,

Speaker 1 and they abused it for a long time.

Speaker 1 And now we're in a new world of fucking post-me too and social media, so it's toned down a little bit, but not totally. Women abuse their power in the relationship.

Speaker 1 Maybe that's why men excel in business, because their home life is so fucking hopeless.

Speaker 1 I don't know, dude, but that makes that makes me sad that she thinks you're going to do something for her.

Speaker 1 You know, there's a whole bunch of things that

Speaker 1 women are a lot easier than men realize. There's a whole bunch of little things that you can do

Speaker 1 just over the course course of a day

Speaker 1 to, you know,

Speaker 1 make them feel loved and all of that stuff. And you should have had a mature calm.

Speaker 1 You're in a pickle, dude. You're in a fucking situation.

Speaker 1 You're really going to hurt her, dude. You're really going to hurt her this year.
And

Speaker 1 I almost think you have to fucking do something. You know what? If I was you, what I would do is I would actually do something this year.
And then after you did it, just tell her the next day.

Speaker 1 Just be like, I have to work all these extra hours for that.

Speaker 1 You know, I was planning on not doing anything, but I knew that I was going to hurt you, and I love you. I don't want to hurt you.

Speaker 1 So, I went ahead and I bought this thing that I couldn't fucking afford. Okay, but you know, until I find what it is that I'm that I do in the Matrix that makes me enough money,

Speaker 1 you know, we have to have an adult conversation about Valentine's Day.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm still paying for this shit over Christmas. I just got the bills

Speaker 1 for that,

Speaker 1 the first installments in January, and now here we go with this shit.

Speaker 1 That would have been the way to do it.

Speaker 1 Good luck. Alright.

Speaker 1 I gotta wrap this up here.

Speaker 1 Newly moved in. Hey, Billy.

Speaker 1 Hey, Billy, boiler tits. You know, I'm really getting tired of these fucking comments that I'm out of shape, okay? I still got pecs, dude.
I'm sliding into 60 and I still got a fucking nice chest.

Speaker 1 My chesticles are fucking still saluting the flag.

Speaker 1 Just fucking people in their goddamn 30s have mantits. Not this ginge.

Speaker 1 My girlfriend and I just moved in together. It's been two weeks and everything's great aside from the fuckload of boxes.
Any advice or tips

Speaker 1 for young people starting... out living together she's not my first girlfriend but the first one i lived with and we love each other greatly I'm definitely feeling she's the one.

Speaker 1 Thanks for all the laughs. Come do a show in Middletown, California.
Go fuck yourself.

Speaker 1 What are you asking me? Can I help you with the fact that a woman has a bunch of shit? You know what? I can't.

Speaker 1 That's what they have. They have a bunch of shit.
And guess what? All that shit they have, they're over 90% of it.

Speaker 1 In the moment, it was going to make them, they made them feel good to buy it, and now they don't even need it.

Speaker 1 And you're going to buy them shit shit for Valentine's Day, and they're gonna be so happy. You know, whatever you buy them, shoes, purse, bag, it's gonna be laying on the floor.

Speaker 1 You know, I love when you buy them the shoes they wanted, and then you go in there and you see, like, one's upright, and the other one's laying on its side, like one shoe knocked out the other one, and they're just all like they just threw it in the fucking closet.

Speaker 1 And you go, look at you, just fucking took 900. I was late for it, you know, yelling.

Speaker 1 They just do that shit. All right, four chord songs.

Speaker 1 Hey, Billy, string fingers, a suggestion from a guitar teacher. I would consider going on a run of learning a lot of classic four chord songs.

Speaker 1 Not so much the AC DC power chord type songs, but songs that are more strummy. I like songs that are more picky.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 Like, you can't kill rock and roll, that intro.

Speaker 1 Or Seasons of Wither. I like that shit.
I think that's a good exercise. Going up and down, not looking at what, you know, I play lefty, so not looking at what my strumming hand is doing.

Speaker 1 It can be a great way to build more finesse with your playing. All right.
Heavier songs require a little less

Speaker 1 than some of the more articulated, softer songs. Classic rock and AM

Speaker 1 rock songs you grew up with are loaded with them. That is great advice, and I'm going to take that.
I will take that great advice. Thank you, sir.
All right, that is the podcast.

Speaker 1 Congratulations to the the Philadelphia Eagles winning your second Super Bowl championship.

Speaker 1 You know, I know you guys think nobody cares about you, but I do care about you. I think you have a great city.

Speaker 1 And I hope you find love. I hope all your dreams come true because you're fellow Americans.
And I don't give a fuck which way you voted. You know why? Because fuck CNN and fuck Fox News.

Speaker 1 God bless you. And congratulations to all the Chiefs fans out there.
You had a great fucking run and all of that.

Speaker 1 And, you know, you still got your guy there, right?

Speaker 1 You got all the people there. I don't think Taylor Swift broke up with Travis Kelsey

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 whatnot. And that's it.
All right. I got to go to work.
Go fuck yourselves.

Speaker 1 Well, that's divisive. I can't tell you not to be divisive.
Do I have to champion? That's the catchphrase. That's my moneymaker.

Speaker 1 People show up every week to hear it.

Speaker 1 All right, go fuck yourselves. I'll talk to you on Thursday.