Golden Age of Sports, Being Isolated, Evil Records | Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 2-6-25

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 4 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 5 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd.

Speaker 10 Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 4 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 14 Terms apply.

Speaker 15 Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Bird. It's time for the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning podcast.
And I'm just checking in on you.

Speaker 6 How are you? How's it going?

Speaker 18 Sorry, I'm fucking out of it.

Speaker 15 Just went to the Bruins Rangers game at Madison Square.

Speaker 15 Garden.

Speaker 15 Fucking crowd was dead.

Speaker 15 Just a dead crowd. You know, Bruins played two games, two nights in a row.
I don't know if they were a little tired. The game was a little flat,

Speaker 15 at least on our side, to start. Played the whole fucking first period, it felt like in our end.
And then they came out,

Speaker 18 scored a goal early in the second period,

Speaker 15 and we didn't do jack shit. And there was five minutes left.
And I said to my buddy, I go, let's get one before the fucking

Speaker 18 period ends, right?

Speaker 15 Fucking score a goal like 15 seconds after that.

Speaker 15 And then, like, as they're announcing that goal, we give them the old right there fret again.

Speaker 1 Two to one.

Speaker 15 It's fucking great, right? Then we go in the third period.

Speaker 15 Of course, they tie it up 2-2. What's going to happen? We go in a power play late.
Hey, let's get the game winner. Let's win this thing 3-2.

Speaker 16 Bump-bum-ba-dom. Bam.

Speaker 15 They get a fucking shorty. The shorty, the pick six of hockey.
Shorthanded goal.

Speaker 15 Sad to say, I haven't watched much of the Bruins at all.

Speaker 15 I've been so goddamn busy.

Speaker 18 So

Speaker 15 we got a definitely got a lot of.

Speaker 15 I was looking up some of the defensemen, that 55, 91, both 6'6.

Speaker 15 What do you think about those super tall players?

Speaker 15 They're amazing when they're like defensemen, but you can't have them be forwards. I swear to God, the puck gets in there.
Skates, they can't find it.

Speaker 13 They're fucking looking.

Speaker 18 They're too goddamn big.

Speaker 15 They're like basketball players out there.

Speaker 16 But

Speaker 15 yeah, I'm a stand-up comedian. I haven't watched a game all this year.
I watched fucking three periods, and now I'm going to be the GM about who needs to be what. I'm just saying.

Speaker 15 They're fucking huge. Rangers, too.
Jesus Christ, they got that one kid there, right? He likes to fight. He's like 6'8.

Speaker 15 It's just insane.

Speaker 15 Every once in a while, I watch some

Speaker 15 clips from the 1980s, which I'm so psyched. I went and saw hockey then.
I didn't realize it at the time, but

Speaker 15 it was

Speaker 15 a golden age.

Speaker 15 It was the second golden age of hockey, and then it was also the second,

Speaker 15 I would say, the first golden age of basketball

Speaker 15 with

Speaker 15 Bird Magic, Dr. J, Isaiah, Dominique Wilkins, all of those guys.

Speaker 15 Sidney Moncrief.

Speaker 15 These are all the guys that were in the league. Kareem Abdul Jabbar,

Speaker 15 all those great Lakers, James Worthy, all of them, and Bird Parrish McHale,

Speaker 18 Jack Sikma.

Speaker 15 I know I'm going to forget a bunch of Tree Rollins,

Speaker 15 Joe Dumars.

Speaker 16 Who else?

Speaker 15 Adrian Dantley. He'd fucking light it up.

Speaker 15 Anyway, they had all these great players. Oh, fucking Sugar Ray Robinson.
Not Robinson. Sugar Ray.

Speaker 15 Oh, Sugar Ray Robinson was the basketball. Richardson.
Michael Ray Richardson. Sorry.

Speaker 15 Michael Ray Richardson. Oh, Bernard King.

Speaker 15 How the fuck do I forget him? Bernard King.

Speaker 15 Patrick Ewing.

Speaker 15 I mean, it was amazing.

Speaker 15 Everybody had like a fucking guy that could drop 30, it seemed. And then they had a seven-footer.
Moses Malone,

Speaker 15 Darrell Dawkins, all those players. And then in hockey, simultaneously,

Speaker 15 you had Wayne Gretzky, Mario Lemieux, Steve Iserman.

Speaker 15 The end of Marcel Dion,

Speaker 15 Guy LaFleur, their careers.

Speaker 15 Those guys.

Speaker 15 who else? Who else was scoring all the goals back then? Oh, you had like the fucking Brian Trachier,

Speaker 15 Mike Bossey, all those great islanders.

Speaker 15 We had Rick Middleton, Brad Park,

Speaker 15 Michelle Goulet, the Stasney brothers up there in fucking Quebec

Speaker 15 for the Nordiques,

Speaker 15 Lanny McDonald, my fucking uncle out there in Calgary.

Speaker 15 It was an amazing time.

Speaker 15 All those defensemen, yeah, Ray Bork, Paul Coffey,

Speaker 15 Al McGinnis.

Speaker 15 Al McGinnis shooting the puck over 100 miles an hour, no net over the glass. How the fuck that guy never killed somebody is beyond me.
All that shit was going on.

Speaker 15 So I would go down to the Boston Garden,

Speaker 15 scalp tickets, and I get to see these people play. All those people I mentioned, I didn't get to see all of them, but I saw a lot of the hockey players.
I definitely saw that Islanders team.

Speaker 15 I saw all the Canadians' teams. The first like fucking 10 hockey games I went to at the Boston Garden was Bruins Canadians because I loved the fights.

Speaker 15 And they fucking hated each other. That's back when they had Chelios,

Speaker 15 Guy Carboneau,

Speaker 15 Stéphane Richer,

Speaker 15 who were some of that? Spoboda, whatever the fuck that guy's name was, that trash can helmet, Patrick Waugh.

Speaker 15 Yeah, I went up to the old forum, the second forum. I saw the fucking Canadians

Speaker 15 versus the North Stars after my friend fucking puked in a strip club.

Speaker 15 On St. Catherine Street.

Speaker 15 They were good times. Anyway, but I'll tell you, I watch those old clips now and how small the guys look.

Speaker 15 Fucking Bob Probert, yeah, it was like the golden age of like, oh, that's another thing. I forgot all the enforcers.

Speaker 15 Chris Nyland, Jay Miller, Bob Probert,

Speaker 20 Clark Gillies,

Speaker 15 rest his soul.

Speaker 15 John Cordyk, rest his soul.

Speaker 15 Willie Plett,

Speaker 15 all of these tough guys.

Speaker 15 Oh, what's that one guy's name?

Speaker 15 He actually played with the Nordics. Oh, he was a fucking mean son of a bitch.

Speaker 15 What the fuck was his name? Ah, whatever.

Speaker 16 I'll remember it.

Speaker 15 Later.

Speaker 15 Not Savaric. What the fuck was his name?

Speaker 15 This guy had the late hit after that guy scored the goal. To win it, he skated over and fucking checked him into the boards and fucked him up.

Speaker 15 Some reason, he came up and he he coached the

Speaker 15 Capitals and was good. This isn't even a podcast.
This is just me sitting alone babbling about sports. All right, let me fucking move on here.

Speaker 15 Anyway, so I was walking out of the garden.

Speaker 15 It was funny, fucking New York sports fans were giving me shit,

Speaker 15 going, yeah, yeah, too bad for your Bruins or whatever. I'm like, yeah, you know, whatever.

Speaker 1 We had a,

Speaker 15 you know, I'm a happy sports fan. We did pretty good over the last few years, right? This guy goes, you had a nice run.
Had a nice run. We had a fucking historic run.

Speaker 15 You cunt.

Speaker 15 He goes, yeah, I know. All the New York teams suck right now.
Yeah, I go, yeah, and you got 50. You're like double down, if not triple down, in every sport.

Speaker 15 I've said that for a long time, man.

Speaker 15 One of the saddest things,

Speaker 15 once you get out of Giants, Yankees,

Speaker 15 I mean, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 15 That is the fucking lunar landscape.

Speaker 15 Out here. I'm not going to go through it.
I've done it a million times. But anyway, we got the Super Bowl this weekend.
Who do you like?

Speaker 15 Such an interesting game because I feel like the Eagles,

Speaker 18 you know,

Speaker 15 could easily beat this. Not easily, but I mean, I'm saying it would not be a surprise to me at all if they beat this team.
And it all comes down to like what the, what does the fucking NFL want?

Speaker 15 What they wanted, they got. They got the Chiefs there again.

Speaker 15 You got Taylor Swift with all her fans, so they've made their money. All the owners are going to make their fucking money, right? So you got that going on.

Speaker 15 So then the thing about them is, what storyline do they want?

Speaker 15 Okay?

Speaker 15 It's not a big deal if the Eagles win another one, because they just won one.

Speaker 15 They beat the Patriots. When do they beat us? 17 or something like that? 16, 17, something like that.

Speaker 24 So it's not like you'd end this big drought.

Speaker 15 If the Chiefs win, then he three Pets, then he gets his fourth, and it's like, is he going to have more than Tom Brady? And I really think

Speaker 18 that they love that storyline.

Speaker 15 I really think that they love that storyline.

Speaker 18 However, if they're just happy that

Speaker 15 they got there and they have their money,

Speaker 15 then maybe they just let him play and the refs don't make crucial fucking decisions, then I think it's anybody's game. I honestly think that.

Speaker 25 I really, I really,

Speaker 15 I know I said, I keep saying I'm not going to talk about this, but I really just, I feel like,

Speaker 15 you know, nobody had won four Super Bowls as a quarterback other than Bradshaw and Montana, and it didn't happen again for like another 25 years when Brady did it.

Speaker 15 And then he put it literally out of reach at seven. He almost doubled.

Speaker 15 doubled the two guys with the most rings. It's fucking insane.
No one's ever going to catch that guy. The second he retires within five years.
Here's another guy

Speaker 15 and he's going to get his, he's doing it even faster.

Speaker 6 Keep watching.

Speaker 15 And, you know, I've always gone with the conspiracy theory with this shit.

Speaker 15 And people have always given me shit.

Speaker 15 Even when you find mobbed up reps and you hear ex-players ex-players talking about fucking rig games and shit. But like, what about now that the leagues are literally in bed

Speaker 15 with fucking,

Speaker 15 you know, gambling? They're casinos. It's fucking insane.

Speaker 15 I know it kind of happened gradually, so you don't really notice, but if you could just somehow take your brain back

Speaker 15 25 years and if you somebody told you

Speaker 15 Donald Trump was going to be president for the second time, time, weed was going to be legal,

Speaker 15 and you could legally gamble on sports at the fucking facility.

Speaker 15 People would be like, you're out of your fucking mind. None of that is happening.

Speaker 15 Certainly not gambling in sports, because that was the number one thing that they were fucking against.

Speaker 15 It is fucking nuts. It is nuts.
So, anyways, I'm here in New York City.

Speaker 15 I don't know we've been we've been working this week rehearsing

Speaker 15 with the play and everything it's been fucking great I've actually really

Speaker 15 really been enjoying it I don't think I've ever gotten to work on something

Speaker 15 you know scenes and stuff to this level

Speaker 15 With like other actors and stuff like I've done I've there's been a few movies where we've done like table reads

Speaker 14 and

Speaker 15 I want to say on one project, the person had us rehearse.

Speaker 26 I think, you know,

Speaker 15 I did a couple of

Speaker 15 TV things

Speaker 15 where they would have you rehearse, but nothing to this level. So it's been really already,

Speaker 15 I've always said, you know, I'm a comedian, right?

Speaker 15 That's basically what I do. So I act when they let me.

Speaker 15 When they ask me to, I go, yeah, I'll do that. And I have always, all these actors that I admire, I always ask them, like, what they do.
And they, I just keep reading the script. I just keep reading.

Speaker 15 I kept reading. I'm like, like, I never understood that.
I'm like, you read it, you know what happens.

Speaker 15 That's what my dumb brain was thinking. Now I'm really like, every time you read it,

Speaker 15 you pick up on something else. You just keep reading it and you get like these ideas like, oh, fuck.
Oh, that means this.

Speaker 15 Oh, what if I did it this way or whatever so i'm finally getting to do that i finally kind of have the time because i remember i took this acting class

Speaker 15 a long time ago and the teacher was saying this is what it's like to do a movie it's like you just show up and you're like all right yeah okay you're playing this guy and uh you know your your mom just died and action you know he's got

Speaker 15 i mean obviously like you know your lines and shit like that it's okay this is the lady playing your wife you guys are both devastated your house just fucking you know slid down the fucking hill with your dog in it.

Speaker 15 And action, you know, it's always like some fucking crazy thing and you just have to get there and do it. And

Speaker 15 they put all this music and shit and all of that stuff underneath it. And

Speaker 15 this doing a play is like completely different. And I cannot tell you how much I've been enjoying

Speaker 15 this process or whatever. So

Speaker 15 oh Billy's got to get his fucking steps in though, man.

Speaker 15 All this rehearsing, you know, and this New York food.

Speaker 15 I don't want to come out there looking like a fucking, you know, Michelin man.

Speaker 15 Oh, Jesus. I'll tell you right now, nothing will keep you in shape like being

Speaker 15 a male ginger.

Speaker 15 You don't want to be,

Speaker 15 you can't add fat to that. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 15 You're already fucking walking uphill your whole life.

Speaker 16 You can't add fat,

Speaker 15 fucking pasty, red-headed, freckled cunt. You can't add fat now.

Speaker 15 Okay, I'm stopping at pasty, freckled, red-headed cunt, former red-headed, red-faced cunt. You know, that's enough.

Speaker 15 I think that's enough for the world to look at.

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 4 Sebastian Menescalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 5 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd.

Speaker 10 Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht and the boxes keep

Speaker 12 coming.

Speaker 4 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right. Premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.

Speaker 14 Terms apply.

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Speaker 15 I gotta get my fucking cell phone fixed, man.

Speaker 15 I broke the screen on this thing. I can't even remember.
And at this point, it just looks like

Speaker 15 every time I look at it, there's like another crack on it. I don't have like the fucking snowflake cracks.
I just have like these

Speaker 15 like those hairline fractures. You know, the kind of fracture a number one draft pick, the Portland Trailblazers pick.
Oh, Bill, that was not necessary.

Speaker 15 Yeah, everything's going to be a sports reference here. Sorry.
Also,

Speaker 15 it's dry as fuck in this corporate apartment.

Speaker 15 The heat

Speaker 15 they got me in here. Jesus fucking Christ.

Speaker 15 You have no control over it. It just comes out of the fucking...
radiators

Speaker 15 and when it is on

Speaker 15 you can go fuck yourself.

Speaker 15 There's an air conditioner in the wall, but I fucking refuse to turn that thing on with the heat on.

Speaker 15 You know what I mean? Especially coming from LA with all those fires and shit. It's like, what are we doing as human beings?

Speaker 15 So I literally just open the window and all of this heat just goes out the fucking window. It's stupid.
It's such a fucking waste.

Speaker 2 Anyway.

Speaker 15 So

Speaker 15 I'm starting to get into the groove with all this shit here, and I'm going to start doing some spots around town so I don't forget how to be a comedian. But, um,

Speaker 15 and I've been holding it together with the uh with my family and shit, you know. I call them up at night, my kids, and I read them stories.

Speaker 15 They gotta, you know, my daughter, I bought the books that she has, so I just read them here, but my son, he sort of holds the big books up, you know, the prints a little bit bigger.

Speaker 15 And I've been able to read those and connect with them pretty good, man. I'm pretty happy about that.

Speaker 14 Um,

Speaker 15 Anyway,

Speaker 15 as you guys can tell,

Speaker 15 I'm pretty isolated and I am slowly going to lose my fucking mind during this. When I'm not working, I'm going to be losing my fucking mind.

Speaker 15 So I'm just going to let you know that you're just going to enjoy over the next few months me slowly losing my fucking mind.

Speaker 15 I'm used to coming home to chaos and loud, and I'm coming home to absolute fucking silence.

Speaker 15 And

Speaker 15 I don't know what I've been doing. I have no desire to fucking watch TV.

Speaker 16 I don't know why.

Speaker 15 I got into college basketball for like half a second.

Speaker 15 Oh, there was some fucking old movie I was going to watch tonight, too. Something.
I don't know what to do.

Speaker 15 I have no idea.

Speaker 15 This fucking reminds me of right before I met my lovely wife.

Speaker 15 I was single and I was living in New York by myself

Speaker 15 and I would just come home to the fucking apartment

Speaker 16 just walking around muttering, muttering, however you say it, muttering to myself.

Speaker 15 Anyway, one of the things I do want to do is I want to go to a St. John's basketball game when I'm here.
I don't want to go to it at the garden. I want to go to it at their fuffer out in Queens

Speaker 15 where I used to see Chris Mullen play when the Big East was the fucking Big East and Pearl Washington was in Syracuse and fucking Patrick Ewing

Speaker 15 and Michael Graham, remember him, were down there in Georgetown.

Speaker 15 You had Villanova.

Speaker 15 Who else was down? Oh, that was great. And then you had the ACC.

Speaker 15 Ralph Sampson was in Virginia.

Speaker 15 Michael Jordan, James Worthy were to a Carolina.

Speaker 15 I'll tell you one of my big fucking sporting regrets is: I lived in North Carolina. I went to NC State,

Speaker 15 the off-campus something program, because I totally fucked up in high school. It's a long story how I ended up down there.
But Jim Volvano was coach

Speaker 15 at NC State. Dean Smith was coaching the Tar Heels, and an unknown coach K had just started at Duke.
And I was there throughout a basketball season, and I went to zero games.

Speaker 18 I made it up years later and I went to

Speaker 15 a Duke Carolina game at Camden Indoor.

Speaker 15 But

Speaker 15 it was Chucky Brown and Charles Shackelford were the big guys for NC State and J.R. Reed was over there at Carolina when I was there.
And I don't know

Speaker 15 who did they have when I was there? It was

Speaker 15 87, 88. So I think it was pre-Christian Leighton, or maybe he was a freshman.

Speaker 15 Yeah, I'm trying to think who won it. Who won it in 87? Was it Indiana? Was that Bobby Knight's last championship?

Speaker 15 Or was it Kansas?

Speaker 15 Was Sam, was it San? No, Sam Bowie, was it Kentucky?

Speaker 14 Danny Manning.

Speaker 15 This fucking blows my mind how I can fucking remember this shit, but I can't remember anything short term.

Speaker 18 You know what it was?

Speaker 15 I wasn't staring at a fucking cell phone all goddamn day with these stupid Instagrams.

Speaker 15 That was a problem with, that's a problem with the, you know, it's fucking Madison Square Guard, two original six teams. The crowd was dead.

Speaker 15 And they're doing the same shit they do at football games and basketball games.

Speaker 15 Anytime there's a stoppage of play, these fucking jerk-offs are running down the aisles shooting fucking t-shirts at people,

Speaker 15 putting them up on the dance. Hey, kids, who can throw their hat up in the air and lands on their head? Can you fucking do that? Hey, let's have a kid come down.
Hey,

Speaker 15 let's play. Do you know what this is? And then they show like an Atari from the 1980s.
And it's so stupid. It's some fucking kid.

Speaker 15 This shit came out 40 years ago. The kid's 12.

Speaker 15 But everybody in the crowd's yelling, Atari!

Speaker 15 And then the kid goes, Atari. They're yelling out the answers.

Speaker 15 All right, do you think that happens in China when they're at a game? Do you think that people yell out answers to the kids? They don't. That's why we're losing.

Speaker 15 There's been a lot of talk about tariffs,

Speaker 15 evidently.

Speaker 15 I don't watch the news, but all of a sudden on my feeds, there's a lot of people talking about tariffs and explaining who pays the tax on The importer pays the tax.

Speaker 15 Not the fucking,

Speaker 33 not the

Speaker 15 guy who imports it pays the fucking, the guy who receives it.

Speaker 15 I don't know what it is. Everybody's fucking yelling about it.

Speaker 15 You know, I had this crazy fucking thought

Speaker 15 today

Speaker 15 where I was talking about, you know,

Speaker 15 you can't say this in my country, but like no one wants to admit what an absolute fucking failure capitalism is when it's not regulated.

Speaker 15 All right? It's already a fucking uphill battle if it's not regulated. And these guys are just completely not fucking regulated.
So now it's just an absolute shit show. And they sell you on this idea

Speaker 18 that, you know,

Speaker 15 if you get a bunch of stuff,

Speaker 15 it's going to fill up whatever it is that's making you feel sad or that, you know, that you're, you know,

Speaker 15 I don't know, that

Speaker 15 you're not doing enough or you're not enough or whatever.

Speaker 14 And

Speaker 15 the stuff, it just doesn't, it doesn't fill it up. Just doesn't.

Speaker 15 And you know how you know that? Just look at that pile of shit that's swirling around out in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

Speaker 34 All of that shit.

Speaker 15 People bought that. All of the stuff.

Speaker 15 Two and a half times the size of Texas, fucking two miles deep swirling a trash shit that people bought thinking it was gonna make them happy and it doesn't and then they fucking throw it out and they fucking buy something else and that doesn't do it

Speaker 15 doesn't do it

Speaker 15 the only thing that I've found

Speaker 15 you know I'm not talking about something you have a passion for like if you fucking like you're like old cars you're like playing guitar or something like that. I don't mean that.

Speaker 15 I mean all of this shit.

Speaker 15 These fucking TVs and phones and fucking iPads and all of this fuck. None of that shit's going to fill you up.

Speaker 15 You know?

Speaker 15 What fills you up?

Speaker 15 Huh? Having more shit than the fucking guy next door is the stupidest shit ever.

Speaker 19 Helping people.

Speaker 15 You know?

Speaker 15 I'm loving. There's starting to be this fucking pushback against these billionaire corporate cunts.
I didn't think I was going to live long enough to see it.

Speaker 15 I thought it was going to go,

Speaker 18 you know,

Speaker 15 even if I lived to be 100, I thought like right around then, people were finally going to fucking have enough of this shit. But it's really seeming,

Speaker 15 you know, I don't know, or maybe it's just the reality that I'm in on Instagram because I keep watching this shit where people are talking about these greedy cunts. And

Speaker 15 I'm starting to feel like a movement is happening.

Speaker 16 You know?

Speaker 15 Wouldn't that be fucking amazing?

Speaker 15 What if that happened? If all of us, like, somehow they were reined in

Speaker 15 and somehow the middle class expanded again and you could actually fucking, you know, have a job, support a family, have some benefits.

Speaker 15 I don't understand why that was too big of an ask.

Speaker 15 You know, the guy who ran the company was still a fucking zillionaire. I must be a 10 times zillionaire.
Fuck you, you know? I'll push you below the poverty line.

Speaker 15 Anyway.

Speaker 15 Can you imagine? Like, I've been seeing these clips, RFK Jr.

Speaker 15 And I know he's a polarizing guy, but you got to, at least he's out there fighting the fight for getting our food to not have 10,000 ingredients. He said the food over in Europe has 400 ingredients.

Speaker 15 Over here, it's 10,000. And then I saw this thing that said the fucking assholes

Speaker 15 that used to make cigarettes somehow bought

Speaker 15 our food supply. General Mills and all these people that made all the Nabisco and all of this shit.

Speaker 15 And then they just applied the same thing

Speaker 15 that they did with cigarettes. They just want you addicted to this shit.
They slowly kill you.

Speaker 15 That's got to be amazing. You know what I mean? Like the you know what's funny about people who do shit like that?

Speaker 15 Like those companies that go around and they do research and they know what they're doing is killing people.

Speaker 15 You know what amazes me is they do research on it, they write it down and then they save the shit. Like fucking P.
Diddy. You know what I mean?

Speaker 15 He goes out and does all that shit and then videotapes it and keeps the shit lying around. Like,

Speaker 15 you don't think eventually somebody's coming through that door and is going to grab the shit and you're going to be in jail?

Speaker 15 Fucking lunatics.

Speaker 16 Why do they do that?

Speaker 15 You would think once they saw that, oh my god, we're killing people, shred all of this shit. They wait till the feds

Speaker 15 are coming up the driveway, and then everybody starts throwing shit in a paper shredder.

Speaker 15 Is that a red flag? I haven't been in the business. I haven't been at a fucking real job in forever, right? When you go into a job interview, is there a thing if you see,

Speaker 15 you know?

Speaker 15 You like when you go and you look at a house, you look at water pressure, you go downstairs in the basement, you're smelling smelling water damage, smelling for that

Speaker 18 closet space,

Speaker 15 that type of stuff, you know, looking for mold in the shower, whatever the fuck it is that you do.

Speaker 15 When you go in for a job interview, if you see like too many fucking paper shredders, do you start thinking like, yeah, I don't like this, I don't like this vibe.

Speaker 15 Or you're a psycho and be like, I like how they're doing business here. They're obviously doing some fucking illegal shit to make a lot of money quick.

Speaker 15 And then the day the cops show up, all of this shit's going in that. We're running out the back fucking door.
I had a little excitement.

Speaker 13 I'll work in a boiler room.

Speaker 6 I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 15 I will tell you one thing that I'm going to do when I'm here. I am going to fly a helicopter

Speaker 15 around the island of Manhattan. I've been looking at the airspace.
I understand the airspace. on the East River.
I do not understand it on the Hudson.

Speaker 15 I'm obviously going to go up with an instructor, but I want to see.

Speaker 15 Fuck, I don't have anything to make. I guess a cell phone.
I got to take a YouTube fucking YouTube, a cell phone video of that shit.

Speaker 15 I think

Speaker 15 there's got to be like

Speaker 15 whenever there's this many, because you have JFK, LaGuardia, and Newark, and they're all Bravo airspace.

Speaker 15 But they always have like, you know, corridors that you can kind of transition through and the only one that i know how to do it is lax and lax has three you can go

Speaker 15 along the beach at or below 150 feet

Speaker 15 you can pass over on sepulveda boulevard like if you ever go to lax where the glow sticks are sepulveda boulevard goes underneath the airport and the runways it's really cool you do that at 2500 feet

Speaker 15 that's amazing and i'm in there my little fucking two-seater and these giant fucking planes are landing underneath me, which is pretty fucking cool. And then

Speaker 15 the other place you can is the harbor freeway, the 110 south. And I think that's 900 feet or below.
You just ask for the harbor transition.

Speaker 15 And you go, and then you switch over to Hawthorne, and then you're good.

Speaker 15 And then you're into Compton Airspace, down towards Torrance, Long Beach, and you either go right or left, depending on what you want to do. So I know they must have have something like that here.

Speaker 15 So I'm kind of excited to do that.

Speaker 15 Anyways, that is the podcast. This one was a fucking...

Speaker 15 This one was all over the place. I apologize.
But I'm really excited about this. Two things.
I'm really excited that this

Speaker 15 doing a Broadway play is even more fun than I thought it was going to be.

Speaker 15 And then secondly, that I've been able, this FaceTime technology, as much as I've been bitching about technology, has kept me really connected with my kids, which makes me feel great.

Speaker 15 I'm not going to say we didn't have some sad moments, but

Speaker 15 yeah, I think I'm going to be able to get through this.

Speaker 15 And then also, I will be popping in some comedy clubs soon once I feel like

Speaker 15 I'm acclimated to the whole fucking time zone here. I've been fighting off this fucking cold, man.

Speaker 15 All right, that's it. And then we have a bonus episode of the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning podcast.
Have a great weekend, you cunts. Enjoy the Super Super Bowl.

Speaker 15 I hope they let him play.

Speaker 15 And if you're a Chiefs fan, you should really hope that.

Speaker 18 You know?

Speaker 15 Because,

Speaker 15 you know, you don't want people fucking questioning your championships. None of this fucking small of the back.
He touched them. He just grazed the small of his back.
Pass interference.

Speaker 18 I don't see holding.

Speaker 15 None of this fucking shit.

Speaker 16 All right?

Speaker 15 Just call a fair fucking goddamn game.

Speaker 15 Is Is that asking too much? That's all I'm asking. That's all I want to see.
I'll be honest with you. I don't even think I'm going to watch it because

Speaker 15 I get too fucking wound up about shit like this. So we'll see.
I'm going to watch it. What the fuck else am I going to do?

Speaker 15 Sitting in this fucking apartment by myself reading a book. We all know I'm not smart.

Speaker 18 All right, go fuck yourselves.

Speaker 15 I'm talking about Monday.

Speaker 18 Hey, what's going on? Woo! What's going on? It's Phil Burr. It's the Monday morning podcast for Monday, February 6th, 2017.

Speaker 18 I'm doing it right after the Super Bowl just because I got the little one now and she's going to keep me up all night. So I knew there was no way.
There's everybody texting me right now.

Speaker 18 I'm speechless. Something you'll never hear from me.
I'm always running my mouth. I am absolutely

Speaker 18 speechless. I cannot believe we came back and won that game.
I'm not going to be that guy going, dude, I knew it. I was like, I had this feeling, right? I said this.
I didn't.

Speaker 18 I had my fucking head in the oven at halftime. We were so getting our ass kicks at like 21 to nothing.

Speaker 18 When Brady threw a pick six, I have this theory at the NFL level that if you throw a pick six, you don't win the game. They're too fucking good.
It's the most devastating fucking play.

Speaker 18 Literally, you know, so I saw it one time at NFL Films. One of the players said that you're trying to score.
Not only does the other team stop you, they turn around and score on that fucking play.

Speaker 18 It's like,

Speaker 18 I can't believe it.

Speaker 18 21-3, then it was 28-3.

Speaker 18 I wasn't even like,

Speaker 18 I actually texted somebody going like, this is the longest fucking loss I've ever watched in my life. I'm like, this is just slowly going to...

Speaker 18 What is this going to end up being? Like 35-10? Are they going to bring their fucking bench in?

Speaker 18 I had completely mentally thrown in the towel, and I I was just sitting here,

Speaker 18 you know, and I couldn't scream and yell. You know, I got my girl now, and just hilarious.
I'm just sitting there going, well, she's keeping me calm. But they were so kicking our ass,

Speaker 18 I couldn't even get upset.

Speaker 18 And if you watched when I was promoting my special

Speaker 18 and when people would ask me about the game,

Speaker 18 I was not comfortable at all. And, you know, I went from like not even believing in Atlanta against Seattle, picking against them again when they played Green Bay.

Speaker 18 And I was just, after I saw the way they played,

Speaker 18 I was like, man, they got a great running back. They got Julio Jones.
Matt Ryan seems dialed in. All that shit that I said.

Speaker 18 And then right before the Super Bowl, they're like, dude, they don't have one running back. They got two.
They got that Coleman guy, too.

Speaker 18 So I was like, this, I don't know. I just, I had that fucking,

Speaker 18 you know, that feeling you have when you think your team's going to lose, but you don't want to say it that's why I was saying everybody on those shows going like you know I bet the under

Speaker 18 which didn't come in and I said I would like the Falcons getting if I could get five I think that I wasn't comfortable taking the Patriots giving points

Speaker 18 so I can't say I called it on any fucking level I didn't I am absolutely fucking speechless I can't believe it I just cannot believe it.

Speaker 18 And I've never said this before, but I think I can finally say it. I think Tom Brady's the greatest of all time.
I always gave the nod

Speaker 18 to Montana because he went to four, it took him four trips to win four.

Speaker 18 But even then, it's always up for debate because what if Montana had Belichick? What you have is the greatest head coach and arguably the greatest, if not now, five rings.

Speaker 18 It's a great argument, the greatest fucking quarterback of all fucking time.

Speaker 18 You know, playing together.

Speaker 18 I cannot fucking believe it.

Speaker 18 And I didn't have any emotion the whole game. I just, because we were just so fucking losing.
So I was just sitting there, and then as we were slowly,

Speaker 18 I wasn't even saying that we were coming back. I was, oh, maybe they'll make it a little respectable.
I don't know. All right, you know, maybe we just lose by 10.

Speaker 18 And then, you know,

Speaker 18 we scored that first two-point conversion. Even then, when we were going down the field, I'm like, what are the odds we're going to get another fucking two-point conversion?

Speaker 18 We fucking missed a field goal. We fucking screwed up

Speaker 18 the on-side kick. And two of the greatest Super Bowl catches I've seen since the helmet catch

Speaker 18 was Julio Jones. Jesus Christ.
And what a fucking throw. Matt Ryan was also running when he made that throw.
I was like, oh my God, every fucking Super Bowl now.

Speaker 18 Every Super Bowl that there's that fucking ghost of Eli. If it isn't Eli, it's like the ghost of Eli fucking throw.
And for once, we had Edelman, we had a circus catch back. And

Speaker 18 I don't know. I'm absolutely stunned.
And having said all that, my condolences to Atlanta Falcon fans. I got no beef with you guys, and I've been there plenty of fucking times.

Speaker 18 Certainly for the first, you know, 36 years of my life. If there was a fucking way to choke away a goddamn game, I saw a Boston team do it.

Speaker 18 And for whatever fucking reason, I don't know why this is happening. I don't know why it's happened this fucking long.
Just trying to enjoy it. This is how spoiled Boston fans are.

Speaker 18 My daughter's two weeks old, and she's already seen her first Boston title.

Speaker 18 It's fucking unbelievable. And

Speaker 18 I got a big kick out of Bill Maher trashing the Patriots. At first, I thought, is he just trashing? Is he talking sports? That's like me talking politics.
This guy's getting outside of his lane.

Speaker 18 But then I saw he was mad. I guess he was mad because...

Speaker 18 You know, Brady and I guess somebody else, I don't pay attention to all that fucking soap opera shit. I guess they're like Trump supporters.

Speaker 18 And I heard on the radio that, you know, I don't know, Brady did or didn't go when Obama was there. I don't fucking know.

Speaker 18 So this, this, if the Patriots aren't, aren't at the height of their hatred, if he shows up now, if he didn't go to the Obama thing and then shows up at the Trump thing, that's going to be a complete shit show.

Speaker 18 But they seem to thrive

Speaker 18 being hated. So

Speaker 18 what a fucking season. Starts off with that fucking horseshit, the biggest

Speaker 18 witch hunt I've ever seen in my life. That stupid fucking deflategate gate thing and just all the justice that came out of it.

Speaker 18 The fact that it went to court, it got laughed out of court to the point the judge was actually pissed.

Speaker 18 Then they finally get the fucking thing. They just, I don't know, they just, well, we're a corporation.
We have a right to suspend our employee. Yes, you do.
He's our employee.

Speaker 18 You're fucking suspended. So then he sits there four fucking games and I just started thinking, well,

Speaker 18 Five games in, we have arrested, pissed off Tom Brady without those fucking miles. Maybe that'll be a good thing.
thing. And just how poetic was the whole thing?

Speaker 18 Do you know that linebacker from Indianapolis who I don't have any fucking beef with because he said he didn't want to be in the middle of it?

Speaker 18 But the linebacker who caught the ball that he brought to the sideline as a souvenir

Speaker 18 that touched off the whole deflate gate thing, he tested positive for steroids and got a four-game suspension.

Speaker 18 It's funny how ESPN really didn't do, you know, you'd think they'd still be talking about that.

Speaker 6 Yep, never happened.

Speaker 18 You know?

Speaker 18 And I also thought it was funny Bill Maher called his cheaters as we're playing the Atlanta Falcons who got busted pumping fucking crowd noise in. But that's okay.
It's okay.

Speaker 6 Who gives a fuck?

Speaker 18 You know in NBA when they go, you know, on basketball, they go, the ball, don't lie. That's what I feel like just fucking happened.
After all of that shit, vindication, he comes back and he wins it.

Speaker 18 And then Roger Goodell, like the end of a fucking diehard movie, the police commissioner who didn't fucking believe in the rogue cop

Speaker 18 has to come in and finally give in and be like, you know what, you are a good cop.

Speaker 18 Here's your gun and your badge back, right? Brady's sitting there with this fucking dirty fucking wife beater on.

Speaker 18 Jesus Christ. And I will never fucking ever tell any.
You know, Keith Robinson called it.

Speaker 18 I'm going to find the fucking text message. I'm going to read you some of these fucking texts right now because I hate when fucking people

Speaker 18 fucking quit, you know, and then they don't admit to it. I did.
I was like, this game is fucking over. They're younger.
They're faster. And then we get a break in the game.

Speaker 18 Then they get a fucking big sack. I mean, they're a really, really good team.

Speaker 18 Hang on. Let me find this fucking thing.

Speaker 18 I had a bunny of mine. He texted me at halftime.
He said, I took Atlanta in the under, and I was like, great bet. I didn't hear from him until after the overtime.
And then he texts me.

Speaker 18 He just texts, fixed.

Speaker 18 All right. Oh, my God.
I felt so bad for fucking Atlanta's owner. He seems like such a great guy.

Speaker 18 You know, you know, he looks like fucking Grandpa Munster. And he made the fucking Jerry Jones, the Jerry Jones move.

Speaker 18 You come down on the field before you put the game away, then he had to stand there. Did you just see when he had that glum look on his face?

Speaker 18 And his, I don't know what, you know, you never know what those super rich guys is. It's like, is that your daughter or your fucking third wife?

Speaker 18 Whoever the fuck that was with him, just sort of glanced at him like, oh, God,

Speaker 18 he's going to be hitting the bottle tonight, that poor bastard.

Speaker 18 All right, where is it?

Speaker 18 What did I say here?

Speaker 18 Okay, it's the first text I sent at 4.55 p.m. Pacific Coast time.
Have I ever told you my pick six rule? If you throw a pick six during an NFL game, you lose. Not to mention we are down 21-0.

Speaker 18 I bet the under, it's 59.

Speaker 18 If the Patriots don't start playing defense, the Falcons will score 60 LOL. He writes, ha ha ha, the Falcons give up a lead all the time.
He said that at 21-0.

Speaker 18 This is Keith Robinson, who I'll now say the great Keith Robinson. Tom Brady, the greatest of all time.
Keith Robinson, he's the great Keith Robinson. All right.

Speaker 18 Then I wrote, we look like shit against the Texans and the Steelers weren't that tough.

Speaker 18 Okay, 6.19 p.m. This loss is taking forever.

Speaker 18 I had no belief.

Speaker 18 You know, Glenn Close and the natural when she stands up and he looks into the stands, if,

Speaker 18 let's say, me and Robert Redford had an alternative lifestyle relationship, when he looked up in the stance, I would have been gone.

Speaker 18 He would have seen the back of my head walking out of the fucking stadium.

Speaker 18 He goes, they can still come back. And I just laughed.
I laughed at him. And I just said, they are younger and faster.
AFC was weak. And then there's no more text for a while.

Speaker 18 And then he writes back, told you. And then I wrote, right, you might be right.

Speaker 18 Then I wrote, that's one of the best catches I've ever seen. That was the Julio Jones.
And then I wrote, does Grandpa Munster own the Falcons? That's when he was down on the thing.

Speaker 18 And then after that, he was just calling me up and he just kept saying, This is what Atlanta does.

Speaker 18 And

Speaker 18 I was like, You're right. You're absolutely right.
I don't know. But, you know,

Speaker 18 I sat and watched the whole fucking thing. Thank God I didn't turn on some Mary Tyler Moore tribute.
By the way, God rest her soul, one of my favorites of all time.

Speaker 18 I cannot fucking believe it. I cannot fucking, I just sat here

Speaker 18 just accepting defeat, going like, oh, well, you know, we'll see what the fuck. I can't fucking believe it.
I can't believe it. So there you go.
Five fucking rings.

Speaker 18 Tom Brady, the greatest of all time. And once again, I always have to say this because I went to that Green Bay Packers Patriots Super Bowl.

Speaker 18 You know, Jesus Christ, I watched the fucking, when the first year I watched the Red Sox was 1978, Bucky Dent.

Speaker 18 I still remember my mother's face in the kitchen.

Speaker 18 I came in and I was like,

Speaker 18 mom, is there another game tomorrow?

Speaker 18 She just looked over at me and didn't say anything. She just shook her head.

Speaker 37 Shook it? No.

Speaker 17 Oh, fuck.

Speaker 18 Anyways,

Speaker 9 all right, enough of that.

Speaker 18 I don't even know what else to fucking talk about.

Speaker 18 I got, oh, you know what? I did the ice house this weekend. It was the first time.

Speaker 18 Yeah, it was great to see the bushes, by the way, because I know that they were in the fucking hospital, or whatever, regardless of your politics.

Speaker 18 Guy's a war hero. You don't want to see somebody fucking.

Speaker 18 I mean, I guess you die at some point, right? You know? Took a lot of balls for him to go out there, you know? I wouldn't have done that. You know what I mean?

Speaker 18 I get to my those fucking years, you fucking wheeling me around and shit. Hey, Bill, you want to throw the coin?

Speaker 18 You know, you want to fucking flip the coin at the beginning of the Super Bowl? You out of your fucking mind? I want to go out in public and throw a coin in a fountain.

Speaker 18 I don't people see me like this.

Speaker 13 Look at the MOVS!

Speaker 18 blood pressure going through the fucking roof.

Speaker 18 Oh fuck, now they're showing the highlight. You know, you know when I really officially thought the game was over was when we called that fucking trick play in Atlanta.

Speaker 18 It didn't even, they didn't even, they covered that too. And I'm just like, these guys are just fucking dialed in.

Speaker 18 Anyways,

Speaker 18 yeah, so I did the ice house this weekend,

Speaker 18 and everything I talk about after this is going to fucking pale in comparison.

Speaker 18 The four Boston teams have won in this century 10 fucking titles.

Speaker 18 Dude, Rappaport's hilarious. He fucking texts me before the game.

Speaker 18 He goes, Hey, if you guys lose today, you know I'm calling you, and you better take my call.

Speaker 18 And I said, Oh, yeah, I go, What if the Patriots win? Am I going to hear from you? And he said, No, I'll be at Temple.

Speaker 18 So at halftime,

Speaker 18 I got my fucking head in the oven, muttering to myself, just walking around. I can't, I'm not watching the lady god, god thing.
I thought she did a great job, but

Speaker 18 I always get nervous when somebody's coming down on those fucking wire things that basically look like crazy straws that you straightened out.

Speaker 18 I always feel like at some point, one of those things is going to snap and somebody's going to fall to their fucking death.

Speaker 18 There's no fucking gig in the world

Speaker 18 worth doing that. The people who fucking do that, the level of faith that they have, there's no fucking way I would do that.
But, anyways, so I'm out there muttering in the kitchen,

Speaker 18 trying to think how the fuck I'm going to graciously congratulate the Atlanta fans,

Speaker 18 you know, and the amount of shit. And I'm looking at my Twitter and all these fucking Atlanta fans.
Where are you, Billy Boy? Hey there, Freckles, you're being all quiet.

Speaker 18 And I'm just muttering in the kitchen to myself, you know, as Lady Gaga's on in the back.

Speaker 18 Right?

Speaker 18 I guess my kid kept me calm. I just walked in as pissed as I was.
I wasn't pissed. I was just fucking, I was, I was, I almost said deflated.
How funny is that?

Speaker 18 I was, yeah, I was just fucking,

Speaker 18 I was depressed. I was like, oh my God.
I mean, Jesus, it's one thing to lose, but you just get your fucking ass kicked. So I'm out there.

Speaker 18 And

Speaker 18 I don't even know what the fuck I was thinking. What the fuck was I even talking about? You know what it is?

Speaker 18 I'm watching these goddamn highlights and I'm still trying to figure out how the fuck we came back.

Speaker 18 All right, Bill, enough already. Enough.
We get it. Your team won a fucking Super Bowl.
So, anyways, oh yeah. What about that commercial during the Super Bowl with that new fucking thing from Google?

Speaker 18 That little speaker in your house?

Speaker 18 You sitting there talking, your kid reading it a story, and it's fucking looking over your shoulder.

Speaker 18 And then you just go, hey, Google, what noise does a whale make?

Speaker 6 And it's like,

Speaker 18 and then you laugh with your daughter.

Speaker 18 Like, at what point does the dad turn around, like, hey, Google, are you fucking listening to all of this? You creep?

Speaker 6 Right?

Speaker 18 People, please, for the love of fucking God,

Speaker 18 for the love of God, do not bring that thing into your house.

Speaker 9 Okay?

Speaker 18 That's the modern-day version of bringing, like, I don't know, vampire or whatever. I don't even know what it is.

Speaker 18 Why are people so fucking stupid when it comes to their own like privacy?

Speaker 18 That thing is just on.

Speaker 18 What is it doing? That's a listening. You're literally bugging your own house.

Speaker 13 I don't know.

Speaker 18 I did the Joe Rogan podcast, and he said the most depressing fucking thing. He said they're making

Speaker 18 cameras the size of grains of sand, and they're just going to spread them around, like, every fucking street.

Speaker 18 So I told him I'd walk down the street with like a leaf blower.

Speaker 18 They're just going to be everywhere. Everything's going to be filmed.
And it's just like that

Speaker 18 Big Brother shit. And it's just that book.
It's literally going to be, Lola, if you're not doing anything wrong.

Speaker 2 I don't know.

Speaker 18 What happened, Billy? Your team won a Super Bowl and now you're going to fucking depress everybody?

Speaker 18 Anyways, the upside here.

Speaker 18 I went to the Ice House this weekend. I did two shows.

Speaker 18 You know, my special came out. People really seemed to be liking it.
Thank God. Although, you know, I did get some shit.
Anytime you talk politics, I got a lot of shit from

Speaker 18 Trump fans and Hillary fans. You know, they always start with the, you know, that wasn't funny.
What happened to you? Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 18 And

Speaker 18 I've been around long enough to know, like, okay,

Speaker 18 what was it?

Speaker 18 Was it the Trump fucking wall joke or was it the fucking

Speaker 18 Hillary's Pure Evil? Whatever the fuck I said.

Speaker 18 But anyways, I did two shows working out there with Joe Bartnick and Jimmy Burns, and

Speaker 18 I did an hour, both shows. I was surprised.
I was really nervous because I thought with

Speaker 18 having my daughter and everything,

Speaker 18 that I hadn't been going out to the clubs, and we waited so long for her to come and everything. I was just really nervous about where my act was going to be.
So, here's the deal, everybody.

Speaker 18 I'm going to the comedy zone. I think it's already sold out in Charlotte.

Speaker 18 And I'm going to be working. I'm going to be doing some clubs here over the next month or so,

Speaker 18 two months maybe. We'll figure it out once I get literally get my act together.
And

Speaker 18 I'm going to try to build up this new hour. But I was really psyched.
Like,

Speaker 18 I don't know what happened. I went up there and I just got into a good flow and a bunch of shit that I'd never said came out.

Speaker 18 And then there was a bunch of shit that I kind of just left behind that kind of came back. And I never put it on a special.
At least I hope I didn't.

Speaker 18 I always have

Speaker 18 a paranoia about that because once I do a special, once I'm done editing it, I never watch it again. Like, why the fuck would you sit there and watch a shit?

Speaker 18 But what happens is I end up forgetting what the fuck I did from special to special. So there's always that danger I might fucking repeat something or grab a punchline from something else.

Speaker 18 You know, God knows I've made every fucking mistake there is to make as a comic. So I was very happy about that.
And I want to thank everybody at the Ice House for letting me come out that way.

Speaker 18 And

Speaker 22 I don't know.

Speaker 18 Oh, and then we missed that fucking field goal. I'm watching the highlights right now.
I gotta shut this off. I gotta shut this off.
This podcast is gonna suck.

Speaker 18 Probably has already sucked for people from Atlanta. You know, I had no idea.
Fucking Atlanta. Atlanta only won one fucking title.

Speaker 18 Its entire sports existence.

Speaker 18 I thought the St. Louis Hawks

Speaker 18 I thought they won a title.

Speaker 13 So

Speaker 18 you know what? I gotta look that up because that's a great way to give fucking Laker fans shit.

Speaker 18 You know, if the St. Louis Hawks actually want a fucking title, okay?

Speaker 18 This is some Bill Simmons shit here. The St.
Louis, I'm going to hit pause because I don't want you guys to fucking sit here. Oh, who gives a shit? The St.
Louis Hawks.

Speaker 18 Now, if they fucking want a title,

Speaker 18 they want a fucking title and Atlanta doesn't

Speaker 18 count it, how the fuck

Speaker 18 the Los Angeles Laker fans count Minneapolis Lakers titles and that other title that they haven't, that they want in like the NBL or some shit as an NBA title.

Speaker 18 St. Louis Hawks,

Speaker 18 NBA

Speaker 18 title. I want to say they won one.

Speaker 18 1958,

Speaker 18 team coach wins. St.
Louis Hawks.

Speaker 18 Oh, I thought we beat the Hawks. I know the Celtics beat them.

Speaker 18 Because that was that trivia question. Last time

Speaker 18 St. Louis lost to Super Bowl, Bowl, they lost to the Patriots.
Last time they lost to Stanley Cup final was to the Boston Bruins. Last time they lost to World Series was to the Boston Red Sox.

Speaker 18 Last time they lost to an NBA title, the St. Louis Hawks lost to the

Speaker 18 Boston Celtics. But it says here in 1958, they won, though.
St. Louis Hawks, they won.
Okay, so they won.

Speaker 18 The 1958 fucking NBA finals. They won.

Speaker 13 All right?

Speaker 18 And fucking

Speaker 18 Atlanta doesn't count count that.

Speaker 18 Let me make sure I say this right. St.
Louis wins, Boston, St. Louis, Boston, St.
Louis, St. Louis.
Yeah, they won in six games. Hawks win series, six games.
Atlanta doesn't count that title.

Speaker 18 See, that's why LA is the, they're the fucking worst with that shit. You know, having said that, I totally respect the Laker franchise, but nobody, nobody pads their fucking stats like them.

Speaker 18 Because there was this game the Celtics had, I believe it was Friday night, we played the Lakers, and they're rebuilding and everything. So it wasn't really like a Celtic Laker thing.

Speaker 18 It always sucks when the Celtics and Lakers play each other, and we're not like,

Speaker 18 you know,

Speaker 18 if one team's good, the other sucks. It's no fun winning or losing those games.
It's just like, all right, whatever. This team's rebuilding or we're rebuilding.
But

Speaker 18 so interestingly enough, at that point, all time,

Speaker 18 the most regular season wins.

Speaker 18 The Lakers and Celtics were tied after all 60 fucking years, like 3,200-something wins apiece. And whoever won that game that night would go up by one.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 18 So basically, we went ahead. They probably were ahead in the beginning, Minneapolis with George Miken and all those guys.
We got ahead in the 60s and 70s. It was kind of a push in the 80s.

Speaker 18 But in the 90s and the 2000s, where we just had a rough time and they had, there was the Kobe era. Kobe Shaq and all those other fucking guys.

Speaker 18 They must have caught up. I can't imagine how many games they picked up on us during those times until

Speaker 18 we took a page out of their book and bought a title in 2008.

Speaker 18 So, anyways, we played each other and

Speaker 18 I remember they were showing the stats. That always bugs me that they say that they have the Los Angeles Lakers have 16 titles.
Even if you say the franchise, it just bugs the shit out of me.

Speaker 18 Really, Bill, does it really bug you when your fucking team just won a Super Bowl? Yeah, I guess not really. Not really.
Anybody watch the fucking Bruins

Speaker 18 Maple Leafs game? I have all the sports packages at this point. I just sit here with my daughter on my chest, and I just sit there and I watch the games while my wife sleeps downstairs.

Speaker 18 And when she cries, I go downstairs and I just change the diaper. And if she keeps crying, that means she's hungry.
It's really kind of easy the first three months.

Speaker 18 And it sucks having to get up every like hour and eight minutes, roughly,

Speaker 18 at night, but I just,

Speaker 18 I don't know, I just go into this fucking mindset. She just bumps me, and then I wake up and I just go, Daddy, take care.

Speaker 18 I make a little joke, and I get up, and my fucking Achilles are so fucking tight. Like, there's something that happens when you get old, and I stretch all the fucking time.

Speaker 18 I stretch all the fucking time.

Speaker 18 And

Speaker 18 I don't know if you guys, if you're old, fuck it. Maybe this is, I don't know if this is an old guy, an old white guy, an old red, bald, white guy thing, but I will lay on the fucking couch.

Speaker 18 I swear to God.

Speaker 18 I swear to God, I lay on that couch. I will lay on a couch for like fucking 12 minutes.

Speaker 18 And if I go up, get up to go to the fucking refrigerator, it's like the first step I've taken in eight hours. I have to like literally stop.

Speaker 18 Drives me up the wall.

Speaker 18 I don't know what it is. And I, and

Speaker 18 fucking, no matter how much down dog stretch I do, it just doesn't seem to be working out. So if you have that fucking problem, here's a great stretch.
Okay, this is some old guy shit.

Speaker 18 Before I even get out of bed now,

Speaker 18 except now that I have a daughter, I just immediately jump up because I don't want to do it. And I know if I even contemplate,

Speaker 18 you know, laying there, I'm going to fall back asleep. So I have to immediately jump up.
But like what I used to do before being a dad

Speaker 18 is

Speaker 18 I just you point your toes at your knees, just do that for like 10 seconds, and then point them the other way for like 10 seconds and then do clockwise and counterclockwise and then you can get out of bed.

Speaker 18 And for all you young cunts out there laughing at me right now, just remember this in 20 years, okay?

Speaker 18 Because you don't want to be that guy that blows out his fucking Achilles because you're never the fucking same, all right?

Speaker 18 Unless you got Kobe Bryant money and you can go to Germany, right? And go see Peyton Manning's fucking doctor and they stick your fucking blood in a centrifuge.

Speaker 18 Whatever those fucking leftover Nazis are doing over there, right? They're all running around.

Speaker 18 Yeah,

Speaker 18 you're going to fucking pay the price. So I got to make sure I stay limber, because who knows? I don't know when.
I haven't really done a lot of research about kids, even though I have one.

Speaker 18 I know at some point they do start running around.

Speaker 18 And,

Speaker 18 you know, for the first like eight, nine years of your life, being a dad is a ground game, you know? You got to take it to the mat. So I got to make sure that I stay fucking limp

Speaker 18 the best I can because I don't want to be that fucking,

Speaker 18 you know.

Speaker 18 I'm an old, I am an old dad, but I'm a fucking psycho. So that I, I will, I will energy my way through this.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 18 You know, I'm going to be, I'm going to be like Steve Grogan, my fatherhood. I'm going to be like fucking Steve Grogan during the neck brace years.
And I'm just going to tough it out.

Speaker 18 You know, remember when you would just stand there? And this is back when you could hit a quarterback. And you would just see this fucking guy running full speed.

Speaker 18 And he would stand there until the last second, and then he'd let it fly to Stanley Morgan. And right as they started to follow the ball, you just see the beginning of the impact.

Speaker 18 And Steve Grogan and the other guy would go flying out of the right side of your screen as they follow the ball to the left.

Speaker 18 That's going to be me

Speaker 18 as a fucking quarterback. I mean, as a dad.
So,

Speaker 18 anyways, so I hit the road. I go to,

Speaker 18 you know, I'm going to Charlotte, kind gonna go to the comedy zone, and I'm doing a couple of shows out there.

Speaker 18 If I get there early enough, I'm gonna go to the Charlotte Hornets game.

Speaker 18 And

Speaker 18 I'm closing in, by the way.

Speaker 18 And I'm going to Duke Carolina.

Speaker 18 And, you know, and I'm not smoking cigars because I got this fucking life insurance thing.

Speaker 18 And I got to tell you, I haven't smoked a cigar in like well over two months and I feel fucking, I feel good about it, you know? So I don't know. I might just keep going.
Who knows?

Speaker 18 It can't be that smelly dad coming in smelling like I went to the track.

Speaker 2 Oh,

Speaker 18 big fucking thing in my life. My wife might let me bring the fucking game changer.
You know, the flat top grill? We got it fucking downstairs in my backyard, right?

Speaker 18 And so the kitchen's fucking upstairs. The layout of this house is completely fucked up, right?

Speaker 18 So I gotta run up and down the fucking stairs, you know.

Speaker 18 It's a pain in the ass. So I finally because I got I got rid of a ton of shit

Speaker 18 I put my

Speaker 18 old Ludwig kit up for sale

Speaker 18 The symbols everything it's the whole fucking John Bonham setup 1971 green sparkle Ludwig

Speaker 18 All the pasty symbols Even the Rogers hi-hat that he had. I'm finally letting go of that.
That fanboy era is done. You know, I had a lot of fun with that kit, but it's just fucking gigantic.

Speaker 18 And

Speaker 18 26-inch bass drum. I don't want that.
You know what I want? I want a 12, 14, 16, 22 kick. That's what the fuck I want.
I never liked the sound of those cymbals.

Speaker 18 I like the hi-hats, but I never liked the sound of the fucking ride. He could make it sound good.
I couldn't.

Speaker 18 So I've been getting into a bunch of other different sounds. All this shit that I always heard in my fucking head.
I really just kind of came to this realization

Speaker 18 as someone who does that as a hobby that

Speaker 18 I don't know that I was, you're not really creating. You're just sort of recreating when you do shit like that.

Speaker 18 Like you get so into a musician that you want to buy all the shit, the exact shit that they had. And then what?

Speaker 18 It's fucking, it's just, I don't know. There was just, I just kept picturing John Bonham coming back to life and for whatever reason, walking into my house.
And then I go, oh my God, John Bonham.

Speaker 18 hey, you're like Jesus, but you're a drummer. Come on in.
Hey, by the way, you know, I'm a huge fan of yours. Yeah, come on, check out my drum kit.

Speaker 18 And he would walk in and see his exact drum kit right down to the Rogers hi-hat. And then he would get like that fucking,

Speaker 18 I was joking with a buddy of mine today or a text. He would get that single white female vibe from me, and he would just slowly back out of the room, like, oh, yeah, yeah, that's great, that's great.

Speaker 18 And just fucking leave.

Speaker 18 So

Speaker 16 I don't know. I'm gonna go out.

Speaker 18 I'm trying out all the kits. I heard that Gretch Broadcaster with the three-ply is fucking, you know, has a great sound.
DW, obviously.

Speaker 18 Amazing drums. I grew up, everybody that I watched used to play the Tamas, Tama, however the fuck you say it, Pearl,

Speaker 18 the Ludwigs.

Speaker 18 You know, it's funny? Phil Rudd always played sonar or whatever. And the great Benny Greb plays those, but they don't fucking nobody has them.

Speaker 18 They're like these amazing fucking drums. They're super expensive.
And

Speaker 18 I've never seen them,

Speaker 18 you know, not that I go to Guitar Center anymore.

Speaker 18 You know, I go, there's a place out here called

Speaker 18 Professional Drum Shop. And they got some great shit out there.
Plus, it's more, you know, they're like a legendary place.

Speaker 18 You know, dude, I went in there. I know this is all drum shit, but I ran to a drummer recently.
He goes, talk more drums, man. So, all right, fuck it.
I talked enough sports here, right?

Speaker 18 Oh, I didn't talk about. You see McQuaid's fight?

Speaker 18 He fought this guy. I think the guy's last name's Smith.

Speaker 18 Oh, my God, they had a great fight. It was an old school Haymaker thing, and

Speaker 18 McQuaid got the best of him in the end. Just two fucking tough guys.
But

Speaker 18 McQuaid got the last shot in, and the guy kind of went down. But I mean, the guy took a bunch of shots.
But of course, Maple Leaf fans were all like, oh, McQuaid's wearing a shield.

Speaker 18 What a fucking pussy, right?

Speaker 18 I love when people say, no matter how convincing your guy wins the fight, there's always a fucking excuse. But then my wife goes, yeah, because I was reading the comments.

Speaker 18 I go, this is fucking unreal. Because I'm sitting there going, like, well, why didn't Smith just punch McQuaid's fucking helmet off the way McQuaid did to him? There was always that option, right?

Speaker 18 But when I brought it up, that Leaf fans were bitching that McQuaid had on a visor, my wife goes, yeah, I was going to ask you about that. And I was just like, yeah, all right.

Speaker 18 He's got on half a welder's mask. Maybe, you know,

Speaker 18 throw an uppercut, improvise, you know?

Speaker 18 Over and under. Most shots go to the side of the helmet, anyways, right?

Speaker 18 I'm old enough to remember when guys who didn't wear helmets fought guys who had helmets, and then that was the pussy move.

Speaker 18 And now, I guess the pussy move is, you know, you can keep your fucking helmet on.

Speaker 18 If somebody else is cutting up their fucking hand, punching the plastic, but if you have a visor, then you're a pussy. I don't get it.

Speaker 18 All I know is McQuaid's one of the best fighters, one of the toughest guys in the league, and it was a great fucking fight. And that game, even though we lost, was unbelievable.

Speaker 18 Was it it six to five or something like that? Five to four. I can't even remember.
Bruins and Leafs always have great games, really have great games. And,

Speaker 18 you know, even though I think we lost the last two, we won three in a row, but the Bruins are playing way better, way better. And

Speaker 18 they're playing like the Bruins again, you know. And I think we're actually up to like the seventh seed.

Speaker 18 So all the fucking belly aching that I'm doing, I should have just kept my fucking mouth shut because

Speaker 18 who knows? You know?

Speaker 18 Now people write articles. Are they peaking too early? So, anyways, the drum talk, getting back to the drum shit.

Speaker 18 Yeah, I ran into somebody saying, oh, you know, you should fucking talk more about that drum stuff. So that's basically what I want to do.
And then I want to get like

Speaker 18 just a,

Speaker 18 I can't even like,

Speaker 18 I'm trying to explain the sound to a buddy of mine that I'm looking for with cymbals, but I'm going to try all of them out.

Speaker 18 Sabians, Minal, I love the sound of those things. At least, you know what's weird is you see the professional guys play them and they make them sound so fucking good.

Speaker 18 And then you buy the exact one and then you're like, that doesn't sound the way it sounded when he did it.

Speaker 18 That's because you're a comedian.

Speaker 18 So,

Speaker 18 yeah, so I'm going to sell that kit. And then the money I get from that, I'm going to.
The game plan is to buy that, a new kit. Brand fucking new.
No more of this fucking old shit.

Speaker 18 Trying to figure stuff out. Oh, that was going to say about that pro drum shop place.
This is how fucking great that place is. I had a snare stand,

Speaker 18 and

Speaker 18 one of the, you know, the thing you screw into to hold it into place, whatever the fuck you call it.

Speaker 18 Would you call that a nut? I have no idea. All I know is it got stripped and it didn't work anymore.
Now, if you ever went to Guitar Center, they'd be like, oh, you know, you got to buy a new one.

Speaker 18 I walked into there, and the guy just takes it and he went in the back. He fucking machined the thing so it worked again.
He goes, there you go.

Speaker 18 I was like, how much? He's like, I don't know,

Speaker 18 three bucks, four bucks.

Speaker 18 That doesn't exist anymore.

Speaker 18 Do you know why that still exists straight across the board in one industry? Is when you go to a cobbler.

Speaker 18 You go into a fucking shoe store. Those guys, they don't give a shit.
They're in there with all those chemicals. They don't even know what fucking year it is.

Speaker 18 You ever try to go into a shoe store where they actually repair shoes? A cobbler, I guess.

Speaker 18 Seems weird to use that word, but I think that's what it is, right?

Speaker 18 The modern-day blacksmith, a cobbler, and you go in there, you can't even fucking breathe. You got to do that thing where you're trying to pinch your nostrils together as you talk to them.

Speaker 18 Yeah, can you fix this belt?

Speaker 18 Can you put some more souls on these? And the guy's like, all right.

Speaker 18 They never take like, it's always like cash. They're like writing out a receipt.
You can't read any of their fucking writing.

Speaker 13 I don't know.

Speaker 18 There's one of those, you know something? That's like a great place for like one of those fucking Harry Potter type of movies to start like a new franchise

Speaker 18 something about when you go to a cobbler it's like stepping back into time and there'd be

Speaker 18 some old weird guy maybe played by Billy Crystal they'd put some prosthetics on his nose or some shit didn't he do that one time with that guy that guy from the Washington Bullets Mira Son

Speaker 18 didn't they do a movie together

Speaker 18 I don't know what the fuck it was one of those Ebenezer Scrooge fucking movies but anyways they go into the cobbler and there's some sort of backroom area I love pitching out ideas for movies because I'm never gonna I'm not gonna fucking write one I'm not going through that fucking

Speaker 18 axe grinder or that fucking whore.

Speaker 18 Why would you do that to yourself? You know what I mean? If you can travel the country telling shit and dick jokes, why

Speaker 18 on fucking earth would you walk into that fucking heartbreaking of a fucking arena?

Speaker 18 So I'm just, any movie idea I have, I'm just throwing out there, and I hope somebody fucking writes it and makes it. I hope you make a fucking billion dollars.
I don't give a shit.

Speaker 18 You know why?

Speaker 15 Because the Patriots just won won their fifth fucking Super Bowl.

Speaker 18 And Tom Brady is the greatest quarterback of all time. You can say it now.
Five fucking rings.

Speaker 18 Oh, God.

Speaker 18 Jesus Christ. Do you know how sad?

Speaker 18 Do you know how many fucking sad people there are right now? And I don't just mean in Atlanta. I just mean Patriot haters in general.
Because the Patriots have been so fucking successful.

Speaker 18 And they've been so fucking vilified, you know,

Speaker 18 for the shit that they do that everybody else fucking does, right?

Speaker 18 They fucking, that literally watching them lose gives other people hope,

Speaker 18 you know?

Speaker 18 Gives you hope that you can call up your cable company, dispute the bill and get some money off of it, right?

Speaker 18 Gives you hope that you can fucking, you know, elect a politician and they're gonna fucking

Speaker 18 not sell out to the corporations. You know what I mean? That's what the Patriots have become.
That's their level of fucking success. There's going to be a lot of slumped shoulders

Speaker 18 going to work tomorrow. Or maybe right now.
Maybe you're one of those people.

Speaker 18 Maybe you're driving in your car right now and your shoulders are so slumped you're not even using your hands to fucking steer. You just got your shoulders fucking wrapped around it, chest all fucking

Speaker 18 caved in as the thrill ride says, right?

Speaker 18 Maybe you're one of those people. Well, you know what I say?

Speaker 16 Fucking grow up.

Speaker 16 All right?

Speaker 18 It's just a goddamn game. I would have taken the loss.
I was already ready. I was sitting there writing my fucking concession speech.

Speaker 18 You know?

Speaker 18 Unfucking believable. Anyways, all right, let's get out of this fucking vortex here.

Speaker 18 I don't even know if I got the advertising yet for this week. Oh, yeah, so the game plans, I'm going to buy that fucking kit, and then I'm going to find some rehearsal space somewhere nearby.

Speaker 18 Some fucking place for a couple hundred bucks a month, and I'm going to fucking put it in there. All right? and whenever I can, that's gonna be my fucking man cave, all right?

Speaker 18 Because you know what the fuck happens. You know what I mean? You have a kid, you're married, you know, gradually all of your shit just starts fucking disappearing, okay?

Speaker 18 My wife can't fucking wait. She couldn't fucking, you know.

Speaker 18 She's happy I like the drums, but no fucking woman wants a fucking

Speaker 18 26-inch bass drum in a fucking travel case, like I'm on the fucking road with the Rolling Stones, and another fucking four drum stacked up on top of that, you know, in front of the bed in the guest room.

Speaker 6 Nobody fucking wants that.

Speaker 18 Well, they don't want that.

Speaker 13 So, um,

Speaker 18 I don't know, but you know what? I got to give this to her. She never told me to sell the fucking thing.

Speaker 18 All I know is when I told her that I was selling it, I saw the excitement in her eye, and then I tested her, and I was like, Yeah, but then I'm going to go buy another one, and it's going to live right there.

Speaker 18 And then she just stared at me, and I just started laughing.

Speaker 18 I'm trying not to be a dick, though, now that I, you know,

Speaker 18 our dynamic has changed.

Speaker 18 You know,

Speaker 18 like I'm gonna put my truck in fucking storage and I'll drive it on the weekends.

Speaker 18 I know there's a lot of married guys right now going, ah, you're never gonna drive it, and then you're gonna fucking sell it.

Speaker 18 I actually thought about selling it too.

Speaker 18 You know, just this whole fucking streamlining line in my life, getting my fucking shit down.

Speaker 18 But

Speaker 18 I can't fucking do it. I just,

Speaker 18 when I drive that truck, truck, this stupid smile on my fucking face, it's just, I can't do it.

Speaker 18 Can't fucking do it. So I'm just going to put it in storage and I'll eat that fucking money.
I hate being the storage guy.

Speaker 18 I got stuff in storage. Yeah, people who have stuff in storage are just too lazy to have a fucking yard sale.
You know what I mean? Just fucking sell it.

Speaker 20 Sell it.

Speaker 18 How long has it been there?

Speaker 18 What is, you know what's funny? Just hanging on to those fucking memories.

Speaker 18 I'm telling you, dude, it's a fucking disease and I got it bad. I'm a sentimental fool.
I got to get rid of all of that shit.

Speaker 18 I never look at it. It just becomes another box in the fucking attic.

Speaker 18 You know?

Speaker 18 And then you fucking die someday and then somebody's looking through it and there's all this weird shit in there that you kept.

Speaker 18 Some menu from fucking Tulsa, Oklahoma for whatever. What the fuck is it? And then you know, you're just giving these people this big job that they got to go and throw their shit out.

Speaker 18 Oh, here's this sonar fucking.

Speaker 18 Is this their website? Oh, that's them at NOM, the NOM show, where all the shredders go.

Speaker 18 See here. You know, I was in Sam Ash the other day, right?

Speaker 9 And

Speaker 18 I wanted to see if they had it. When the fuck did.
Oh, I know I went there. I actually can't say why I went there.
I won't get caught.

Speaker 18 I just had all these extra drumsticks and I had all this shit that I was getting rid of that I just don't fucking use. And I'm like, what am I going to do with this stuff?

Speaker 18 I can't sell old drumsticks on a fucking

Speaker 18 on eBay or some shit. So what I did was I just bundled them all together and just left them in their parking lot.
You know, some kid's going to walk in there and be like, holy shit.

Speaker 18 I had like 40 pairs of fucking, all these different drumsticks over the years. I just bundled them all and just stuck them there, like a fucking cowbell, a couple other things.

Speaker 18 So at that point, I'm like, all right, I got kind of feeling guilty. So I went into Sam Ashley's, I gotta buy a fucking pair of drumsticks.
And there was some kid in there

Speaker 18 just doing that fucking drumming where he's amazing, but all the whole fucking thing, it's just one fill after another.

Speaker 18 Those fucking

Speaker 18 linear 30-second note fucking fills

Speaker 18 played 9 million miles an hour every fucking, after what it just all sounds the same

Speaker 18 for fucking like I almost started laughing because the kid was amazing but after a while I was just like dude you sound like you fucking

Speaker 18 you sound like you fucking snorted a couple of eight balls Jesus Christ

Speaker 13 maybe I'm just getting old I was like, how am I putting a little air in there?

Speaker 18 You know, the old guy who can't play as good as the young kid and he's jealous of his chops, but Jesus Christ. All right, what am I doing here? I'm trying to find the fucking um

Speaker 6 here.

Speaker 18 We go, the live reads,

Speaker 18 all right, there you go, okay, that's done. Let's, uh,

Speaker 18 let's all go to the lobby, ba-ba-ba-da-da-boo-boo. All right, let's um

Speaker 18 let's read some of these fucking things. Um, hey, did I call it a what? I said it was going to be a classic, although I don't know if I can, it's a classic for one side.

Speaker 18 I thought it was gonna be a classic for both

Speaker 18 for both sides, but um

Speaker 16 all right enough, Bill.

Speaker 18 Okay, the fucking Atlanta fans have suffered enough. Okay, let's just fucking get through this.
Okay. All right.
First football game watched from Sweden.

Speaker 18 Bill Birdie,

Speaker 18 being from Sweden,

Speaker 18 saying that football isn't big here is an understatement. I don't know how they talk over there.
But that's actually a Swedish accent, isn't it?

Speaker 18 I have no idea. But I've been listening to your podcast for a couple years now, and your rambling over NFL have made me interested.
Oh, look at that. Maybe you just got me a job at the NFL.

Speaker 18 You know, maybe I could be on one of your little Google things in your room.

Speaker 18 As you fucking talking in whatever the hell you guys speak over there, Reischen, Schmeisen, Feisen. That's what it always sounds like to me.
I can't imagine what I sound like to you.

Speaker 18 Probably a fucking asshole. All right.
I finally sat down and watched a game, and it was the Super Bowl that just ended. And what a game.
I'm sold.

Speaker 18 Jesus Christ, when the fuck did this guy send this in? I love hockey mostly, but I found a new game to love. Tom Brady, best QB ever, says the Swedish commentators.

Speaker 18 I have no clue, but I believe them, I guess.

Speaker 18 Thanks for getting me into the game. Better late than never.

Speaker 18 People who can speak a second language. That's fucking amazing.

Speaker 18 Sorry for the bad English grammar. Dude, you did the fucking Boston accent perfectly in a second language.
He says it's early and I'm tired. All the best to you, Nia, and the newborn baby girl.

Speaker 18 Love the special. I'm looking forward to season two is

Speaker 18 Efforts for Family. You know what's funny? I was just thinking, I got to get over there.

Speaker 18 I missed you guys on the last tour. I didn't do the Norway, the Oslo, Stockholm, Helsinki run.
I got to make sure I do that at some point.

Speaker 18 But anyway, well, Jesus Christ, dude, I don't want to rain on your parade, but you just, most football games are not that exciting. Do you know how boring the first half was?

Speaker 18 Well, I guess for me it was. It was depressing.
I guess it was exciting for Atlanta fans.

Speaker 18 Oh, God, I can't. You know, I had a buddy of mine.

Speaker 18 Actually, he recently passed away, which sucks, but he told me this fucking story

Speaker 18 when the Red Sox had like two outs in 1986 against the Mets.

Speaker 18 He had the wire off his champagne bottle, and he had to put it back on after they lost.

Speaker 18 Hey, maybe this will be

Speaker 18 for Atlanta fans. This will be cathartic for you.
If you want to share

Speaker 18 your,

Speaker 18 I thought we were going to win stories, and then I had to put the fucking wire back on the champagne bottle. I'll read them next week.

Speaker 18 Or anybody out there, if you have those, we're going to fucking win, and then you lose the fucking game.

Speaker 18 I got a bunch of them I can share with you.

Speaker 18 I got a bunch of those. I got a bunch of those.

Speaker 18 Those could be fucking really faux. They're fucking always hilarious.

Speaker 18 That's comedy, man.

Speaker 18 If it works out, there's no comedy. It's like when

Speaker 18 you fight, like if the Patriots fucking got their asses kicked, that would have been, that would have, I already knew I was going to, we just got our asses whipped.

Speaker 18 I had the whole fucking thing worked out.

Speaker 18 Instead, I came on gushing here like I just won the fucking publisher's clearinghouse. I cannot fucking believe they came back and won that game.
That is, I've, I'm

Speaker 18 fucking stunned.

Speaker 18 Cannot fucking believe that. All right, British dentistry.

Speaker 18 Hey, Bill, I remember hearing that you used to be a dentist before your stand-up career took off. So I have a dental question for you.

Speaker 18 I was not a dentist, but I love that you put that out there, and that'll probably end up on my

Speaker 18 Wikipedia page.

Speaker 18 I don't know why we British don't take dental care seriously. I have pretty decent teeth for a British person, probably in the top 15%

Speaker 18 of people. British people, that is.
I always brush twice a day unless I get drunk and forget sometimes after going out drinking. But I noticed that when I was in America, my teeth were shit.

Speaker 18 What the fuck are you lot over there in the land of McDonald's and Coca-Cola doing to keep your teeth so clean? Is there toothpaste in the water supply? Well, there was fluoride.

Speaker 18 Sometimes they put in too much and people got those white spots in their teeth.

Speaker 18 Seriously,

Speaker 18 do you lot live at the dentist? A lot, meaning all you guys. Even the working class over in America seem to have good teeth.

Speaker 18 Yeah,

Speaker 18 we do. Well, I mean,

Speaker 18 braces are a big thing over here. I don't know if you guys have those over there yet.
Those are a big thing.

Speaker 18 People also can get their teeth bleached. Caps are a lot better than they used to be.

Speaker 18 Yeah, but at the end of the day, dude, you got to brush your teeth after you eat. And there's certain things like drinking coffee.

Speaker 18 I guess your tea over there would probably stain the shit out of them. I'll tell you one that's fucking brutal.

Speaker 40 Red wine.

Speaker 2 Red, red wine.

Speaker 18 Make your teeth gray.

Speaker 18 Yeah, just brush and floss.

Speaker 18 You know, I got this life insurance test coming up because I'm getting my affairs in order now that I got a kid.

Speaker 18 They told me, they said, have you been to the dentist? And I said, yes. And I said, was there any gum disease? And I said, no.

Speaker 18 And they said, that's good. I said, oh, I got they're worried about my teeth falling out.
And they said, no, gum disease can be a sign of something wrong with your heart.

Speaker 18 I was like, what?

Speaker 18 I never heard that.

Speaker 18 Never heard that. I know if you had fucked up teeth, that usually

Speaker 18 led to you not chewing your food as well, which led to stomach problems and then problems with your intestine and then down to your ash. It's all fucking connected.

Speaker 18 But I had never heard of that.

Speaker 18 So, anyways, he said, to put in perspective how bad some British people are with dental hygiene, I know someone who would only brush their teeth once or twice twice a week.

Speaker 18 I had to buy them an electric toothbrush as a not-so-subtle hint that not brushing your teeth is fucking disgusting. I guess there's a lot of truth to stereotypes.

Speaker 18 P.S., I will be amazed if you actually manage to read this without stuttering, you illiterate fuck.

Speaker 18 You know something?

Speaker 18 If that whole fucking thing was just to get that joke in, that was an absolute masterpiece. You know?

Speaker 18 if you actually just picked that subject, British dentistry, just to fool us so we would actually read it and was all self-deprecating just to the end, just to call me a fucking illiterate fuck.

Speaker 18 The stuttering illiterate fuck is great. That was tremendous.

Speaker 18 I don't even know if you're serious anymore, but yeah, that's listen. When I worked in a dental office, all I did was just hand the shit.
I was an assistant. I was certified to take x-rays.

Speaker 18 I wasn't a hygienist. I wasn't any of that other shit.

Speaker 18 So anyways,

Speaker 18 yeah, that was one of my first jokes. This guy came in and was like, you know, I don't understand what's wrong with my teeth.
I mean, I brush my teeth almost every day.

Speaker 18 And my joke was, oh, really? Do you wipe your ass almost every time you take a shit? I mean, come on, people, is this thing on? It's one of my first jokes, everybody. That was a, what do they call it?

Speaker 18 Throwback Thursday?

Speaker 18 Actress paying alimony. If you just brush your fucking teeth, I think you'll be fine.

Speaker 18 You know, and especially before you go to bed, to just like go out drinking and doing all that shit and then just go to bed and just let that shit just get in. It's gross.
It's fucking gross.

Speaker 18 You should brush floss and you should use mouthwash. You know, and then you should find a fucking woman that does the same thing and that's the person you should be kissing over there.

Speaker 18 Everybody else, I don't know. Jesus Christ.
Oh my God, that's fucking gross.

Speaker 18 Anyways, actress paying alimony. Bill, wondering if you saw this, a fairly famous actress has been paying her unemployed husband alimony, and she's complaining that he hasn't tried to get a job.

Speaker 18 She's paying him 20 grand a month. Does that make him a bum?

Speaker 18 Is this like a trick question?

Speaker 18 If I had a son that ever fucking did that, I would disown him.

Speaker 18 That's fucking unbelievable. I've seen that, you know.
That does happen. One of the

Speaker 18 all right, here we go. Let me read this thing here.

Speaker 18 According to a court document,

Speaker 18 so-and-so has paid over a half a million dollars to her former spouse since 2015.

Speaker 18 These funds include around $150,000

Speaker 18 in such-and-such residuals. I'm not going to say who the fuck this is.
I hate putting people's dirty laundry out there, even though it's already out here.

Speaker 18 She gave birth to their daughter in March of last year.

Speaker 18 This person alleges that the other guy cheated on him

Speaker 6 with the

Speaker 18 oh, he's saying that she cheated on him with her co-star, a point of contention in the divorce. The divorce has since been finalized.

Speaker 18 The terms of support have not, hence a temporary agreement where she has to pay this dude over 20 grand monthly.

Speaker 18 Well, you know, if they do get divorced, if she's out here in California, she's going to get fucked.

Speaker 18 According to documents, so-and-so is requested to be able to stop sending the guy those payments, saying that the guy has made no effort to get a job of his own and is living off of her.

Speaker 18 Yeah, man. I mean, that's when you just start thinking murderous thoughts, you know? I think that's,

Speaker 18 you know, it's bad enough when a fucking woman does it. I mean, I'm really doing like a double standard here.

Speaker 18 But uh, yeah, dude, I mean, you're not a fucking man if you do something like that. And if you're a woman and you don't try to get a job, you're a piece of shit.
But you know what?

Speaker 18 I know that you don't give a fuck. So, you know, women don't give a shit.

Speaker 18 They actually get off on the fact that you fucking, you know. Am I really going to turn this around to slamming women?

Speaker 18 Am I really going to figure out how to do that when this woman, the woman's a victim in this bill? Okay.

Speaker 18 Yeah, that's complete bullshit. It's complete bullshit.
I straight across the board think that's fucked up.

Speaker 40 All right.

Speaker 18 Now, okay, if she's a fucking drug addict and he has to stay at home the entire time to watch their kid, I mean, they just had their kid,

Speaker 18 that is actually his job. That I understand.
You know what I mean?

Speaker 18 Oh, God, there for the grace of God, go I.

Speaker 15 Holy shit.

Speaker 18 I just don't understand how it gets to that.

Speaker 18 You know what I mean?

Speaker 18 How do you get to that point where you're with somebody, you have a fucking kid together? I'm probably jinxing myself. You have a kid together.

Speaker 18 And then it, like, you decided to make another person together, and within a fucking

Speaker 18 two years of that

Speaker 18 you're getting to like Jesus Christ.

Speaker 18 It'd be one thing if they had a one-night stand, but they were already married. That's that's fucking nuts.
All right. Who knows? Maybe the guy went nuts.
Maybe she did fuck around him.

Speaker 17 I don't know.

Speaker 18 All right. Coaching daughters

Speaker 18 sports teams. Coaching daughter.
Well, it's supposed to be

Speaker 18 an apostrophe there. Coaching daughters sports team.
All right. Congrats on not pulling out.

Speaker 40 Ha ha.

Speaker 18 Oh, thank you. I was wondering if you will coach any of your daughter's sports teams when she gets older.
What sports would you like to see her grow up to play?

Speaker 18 Congratulations to you, Ania, and thank you for another great special.

Speaker 40 Oh, you're welcome.

Speaker 18 I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Speaker 18 Would I do that?

Speaker 18 I don't know. I don't want to insert myself into my daughter's life like that.
I'd like her to

Speaker 18 have to learn how to deal with another adult, especially if she doesn't like him and learn how to fucking, you know,

Speaker 18 deal with a coach that's a little hard-nosed or whatever, you know.

Speaker 18 I mean, I'm not going to be one of those people that, you know, oh, play my fucking kid. If my kid stinks, I'm not going to fucking

Speaker 18 make him play my kid,

Speaker 9 right?

Speaker 18 I'm not going to be that, I've just, all of that shit, I don't understand any of that. And if your coach is fucking hard-nosed and your kid comes home crying about it, it's all toughen the fuck up.

Speaker 18 Learn how to deal with it. You think this is the first asshole you're ever going to fucking run into in life? It's not.

Speaker 18 You know?

Speaker 18 You know what?

Speaker 18 Work twice as hard.

Speaker 18 Make that fucking guy regret that he ever yelled at you or that woman. That's what you do.

Speaker 18 You just go fucking harder. That's what you do.
What you don't do is fucking mope around about it and try less.

Speaker 40 All right?

Speaker 18 If your motivation, even if your motivation is fuck this guy,

Speaker 18 you know, you're going to play better. But you got to use that negative shit and turn it into a positive.
And

Speaker 18 I'm a big believer in

Speaker 18 playing organized sports. And organized sports has gotten a brutal reputation over the years.
Some of it is justified. A lot of it wasn't.

Speaker 18 A lot of it was a bunch of uncoordinated people who did not have a good fucking experience and then married someone else who was also uncoordinated, and then watched their toddler growing up bumping into shit

Speaker 18 and was like, oh my God,

Speaker 18 they're going to suck at sports too, and they're going to have the same pain that I did, or I had, right?

Speaker 18 And then, rather than steering them away from sports and going, hey, maybe you're a writer, or maybe you're into science,

Speaker 18 These fucking uncoordinated cunts had to stick them in sports sports

Speaker 18 and then they had to dumb the whole thing down where everybody gets a ribbon. I had a buddy of mine recently said,

Speaker 18 or was it somebody doing a joke? I can't say it if it was a joke.

Speaker 18 Who the fuck told me this story? Was

Speaker 18 no, it was somebody's bit. I can't do it.
Ah, fuck. It had to do basically with playing

Speaker 18 little kids playing softball and when they first played they played without the ball, and they pretended that they hit the fucking thing.

Speaker 18 So nobody would have the pressure of making an error, and they could be like, nice catch, way to go, and all of that shit.

Speaker 18 It's fucking insane.

Speaker 18 No, I'm not going to do that. And fortunately, my wife is on the same page.
And

Speaker 18 I told you that shit. Somebody sent us some Boston,

Speaker 18 you know, sports shirts. And they were, they were, you know, with the logos of the teams, and they were in pink.
And my wife was just going, Yeah, she's not wearing those. I'm like, What?

Speaker 18 Because you hate sports? And she goes, No, because they're pink. She goes, If she's going to wear the team stuff, she's wearing the team colors.
I think I already told you this guy.

Speaker 18 I was like, Do you have any fucking idea how much real sports fans would appreciate what you just said? You don't even like sports. You have no fucking idea.

Speaker 18 You just, you just like, you stepped in shit there.

Speaker 5 That's like the

Speaker 15 that's exactly it.

Speaker 13 Um,

Speaker 18 anyway, I don't have no fucking idea. So, will I coach? Um,

Speaker 18 No, I wouldn't do that. You know what? If I was ever to coach, I would be

Speaker 18 an assistant coach. I'd be the rah-rah guy.
If they were little and shit, I couldn't fucking sit there yelling at kids.

Speaker 18 And also, I don't think I know enough about the fucking game. I've watched a bunch of sports, but to actually coach a team and teach somebody how to get better, I mean, I think

Speaker 18 I'll be a good dad. If she wants to go in the backyard, learn how to hit a ball or shoot some baskets.
I think I'm good at that, but like, you know,

Speaker 18 that's a hell of a responsibility. And I have a very volatile personality, and I just don't want to be the Earl Weaver of fucking eight-year-olds out there screaming and yelling.
But we'll see.

Speaker 18 We'll see how the meditating and possibly going to therapy works out. But

Speaker 18 I'm more excited just to see what she gravitates toward.

Speaker 18 I'm going to expose her to as much music and different shit as I possibly can and then just sort of stand back, see what she goes after, and then just encourage her.

Speaker 18 And if it's like a faith, if it's a phase, it's a phase, and then she moves on to something else. But my parents were really cool about kind of letting us do,

Speaker 18 you know, whatever the fuck we wanted to do as far as trying shit in life. Like my parents never gave me shit about being a stand-up comedian.
And

Speaker 18 that's pretty, when I, you know, the amount of comics that I've run into where to this day, like, they're super successful and their parents still don't even respect what they do, do, thinking that they're just up there fucking around

Speaker 18 is pretty amazing. So, I got really lucky in that department.
So, that's one of the good things that I'm keeping from my upbringing. So, long story short,

Speaker 18 no, but I will go to every fucking game. I'll go to every game, and I'm not going to argue with other parents.

Speaker 18 And if the fucking referee stinks and is screwing my team, I'm just going to sit there and just, you know,

Speaker 18 I'm just not going to be that fucking guy.

Speaker 18 I'm going to make jokes and I'll be laughing.

Speaker 18 But,

Speaker 18 you know what the big thing is, is when I go to her games, I'm going to be sober.

Speaker 18 So that's going to really tone down.

Speaker 18 It's when I go to games and I've had a few. I can't resist.
There's a crowd. There's jokes to be made.
Even way back in the day.

Speaker 18 When I was fucking, you know, way more introverted, I had a couple of beers and I would be in Sullivan Stadium and I would yell out shit and people in my section would laugh

Speaker 18 and I would just build my confidence and suck some games, teams, I would yell out the first thing and would bomb and then I wouldn't say anything again until the third quarter and then I'd throw it out but only have like, you know, 50% confidence so it only did okay and and it'd be like my literally my bad set back then like bombing was I went to a game and I yelled out some shit

Speaker 18 and nobody laughed.

Speaker 13 But I don't know.

Speaker 18 It's not the way it used to be because everybody's so concerned about kids and political correctness and fucking public drunkenness and shit. But back in the day, like

Speaker 18 what was going on in the field was about half as entertaining as what was going on in the stands. It was just, and it was all just sophomoric, stupid.

Speaker 18 I remember sitting, we had like ends, not end zone seats, we were sitting right at the corner.

Speaker 18 You know, like past the goal line. We were basically sitting like facing the end zone.
And then there was the end zone seats. And they used to have this beer commercial,

Speaker 18 light beer from Miller. And they used to have the big fights.
Less filling. Tastes great.
Less filling. Tastes like they were having a fight, you know,

Speaker 18 over if it didn't fill you up as much or if it tasted better. So that became like this stupid thing that people did.
You'd be at a,

Speaker 18 someone figured out one time, stood up and yelled at the other section, said, less filling. And someone else stood up and screamed, taste great.

Speaker 18 And then we'd all be yelling, like, oh, we're doing the commercial. This is before YouTube, so this was actually fun.
So it'd be one section going, less filling.

Speaker 32 And then we'll go, taste great, less filling, taste great.

Speaker 18 And of course, because it was a bunch of drunks,

Speaker 18 drunk males, it immediately went sophomoric and it eventually became, fuck you, ain't shit, fuck you, ain't shit.

Speaker 18 And we would do that 20 times a game, and it would be just as funny the 20th time as it was the first time because we were all a bunch of immature fucking idiots.

Speaker 18 I missed those days.

Speaker 18 You know,

Speaker 18 I really fucking missed. That was a lot of fun back then.
Now it's just so, you know, the ball's in play. Don't go to your seat.

Speaker 18 There's some fucking old lady with a construction hat on telling you to stop.

Speaker 17 I don't know.

Speaker 18 I'm just a fucking curmudgeon. What are you going to do? But anyways, that's the podcast for this week.

Speaker 18 Thank you guys so much for listening. And thank you, everybody who's been watching my special and giving me the great reviews.

Speaker 18 I'm really proud of this special. And if you haven't had a chance to watch it, please check it out.

Speaker 18 Obviously, that helps me out with my relationship with Netflix and my ability to do eventually do another one.

Speaker 18 And if you've already seen it and you enjoyed it,

Speaker 18 please tell somebody else to check it out. And that's it.
And congratulations to the New England Patriots. Holy shit.

Speaker 18 Championship number five.

Speaker 9 Unbelievable.

Speaker 18 Unbelievable. And once again, I'm not fucking around here.
My condolences to Atlanta fans.

Speaker 18 I have been there. It fucking sucks, but you guys got a hell of a team, and I hope you're back there next year and

Speaker 18 you get your fucking win. All right, that's it.
Go fuck yourselves. I'll check in on you.
Check in on you on Thursday. And all you cunts in Charlotte, I'll see you on Wednesday.
All right.

Speaker 20 What's up, everybody, and welcome back to the Anything Better podcast show, NFL Edition for Super Bowl Week, guys. What could I say? This is the last one of the season.
It went fast. Here we are.

Speaker 20 Before we get started, oh, by the way, I'm Paul Bersey. That's Bill Burr.
We have the Greek freak out there in Beverly Hills

Speaker 20 bright and early today. And nobody has heard from Jake the Snake.

Speaker 43 We think he had the Guy's Choice Award on the Playboy channel.

Speaker 20 Yeah, Jake the Snake had a little escapade last night. We're trying to get him back.
He probably had a bender.

Speaker 20 Before we get started on the Super Bowl episode, guys, we got to shout out Bet MGM. It's been our great sponsor all year, Bet MGM.
Here's how you do it, guys.

Speaker 20 If you want to get out of the action for Super Bowl,

Speaker 20 you just go to

Speaker 20 just download the Bet MGM app on your device and use our code, the Anything Better Code, which is Burr B-U-R-R.

Speaker 20 Okay. And you put in as much as $10.

Speaker 20 a minimum of $10,

Speaker 20 and you will get $1,500

Speaker 20 back in

Speaker 20 bonus bets if your bet loses. If the bet does lose,

Speaker 20 you will get the $1,500 in bonus bets after the original wager is settled. And also, guys, we have the first touchdown bet you could do.

Speaker 20 You choose which player is going to get the first touchdown of the Super Bowl. And if you don't, and the second player you choose gets it, you will get your bet back.

Speaker 20 You'll get your stack back in cash. There you go.
It's that simple.

Speaker 20 All right, Bill. Well, here you are.
Bill was right. Bill's AFC and NFC championship games were right.
He had the Eagles and the Chiefs.

Speaker 20 I took the Commanders, thinking the Eagles would win, but the Commanders would cover. That did not happen.

Speaker 20 And the Buffalo Bills came up short, and the Chiefs are back in the Super Bowl against the Eagles.

Speaker 42 You're just fading away on me here.

Speaker 19 You're out of focus.

Speaker 7 There we go.

Speaker 34 There he is.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, Paul.

Speaker 33 And the nfl did their part they it's just too much money dude it's too much money you can't you can't not have taylor swift to cut to it's too much money

Speaker 26 all right that's like that that lakers trade that kid was not making the the owners any money in dallas you got to get him to the show paul you got to get him in la diane cannon all of these you know whatever their name is you know you got to get him out there it's a show paul diane

Speaker 25 you have to ask yourself

Speaker 49 You got to ask yourself,

Speaker 28 what's the better thing?

Speaker 5 That they three peat it and then he gets four.

Speaker 47 And wait a minute.

Speaker 30 Is he going to catch Tom Brady?

Speaker 46 He's never going to get four faster than Tom?

Speaker 2 I don't see that.

Speaker 29 Tom Brady, he's not even warm yet from fucking retiring.

Speaker 30 There's a guy already threatening his seven.

Speaker 51 It's such a show it's i can't i'm not i'm not even gonna watch the game paul that's how disgusted i am with this

Speaker 29 it's disgusting

Speaker 20 well i'm gonna have a hard time watching it because for two reasons that just let him play if they let him play i think the eagles got a chance i want to see a game here all right i don't want to see this this this

Speaker 51 And I don't want to, I just can't watch it anymore, Paul. And it's not, this isn't like fucking sour grapes or anything.

Speaker 31 It's fucking ridiculous.

Speaker 46 It took fucking two, only two guys ever had four super bowl rigs for the first like you know 40 super bowls or whatever right

Speaker 42 takes tom brady 25 years to catch up to four and then he puts it out of reach at seven five years later this guy's going to win like 11.

Speaker 46 i just don't buy it

Speaker 20 let me ask you this happen what do you think if the eagles win this do you think the eagles got a chance to win this game

Speaker 46 100 if they let him play if the fucking guy says it's a first down and they let it be a first down yeah, they do.

Speaker 46 If he puts his hand on the small of the guy's back and it's past interference, or you tell the guy to put his helmet back on and you let a fucking defensive coordinator call timeout, and they can hold up and down the fucking field.

Speaker 26 If fuckhead's flopping all over the goddamn field and they stay rough in the passer, they don't get a shot, dude.

Speaker 29 If they let him play,

Speaker 27 if they let them play.

Speaker 20 This is a rough one for me because Saquon's either going to go crazy and the Eagles are going to win, which is going to shatter my heart, or I got to watch the same thing again. So this is.

Speaker 51 Paul, if you're a football fan, you have to root for the fucking Eagles. The future of this can't be fucking manufactured, cross-promoting pop music, cross-promoting the WNBA,

Speaker 53 cross-promoting, you're watching greatness.

Speaker 20 I mean, when you put it that way, yeah.

Speaker 46 I miss the game, Paul.

Speaker 30 It's like I watch an Eagles game, okay?

Speaker 52 If I watch a game, the Chiefs aren't in, it's a completely different.

Speaker 51 You know, I'm watching sort of football.

Speaker 30 You know, the game evolves, it changes or whatever, right?

Speaker 51 There's still crazy things where I'm just like, you know, you run outside the pocket, you can get fucking tackled.

Speaker 24 No, you can't do that, whatever. And a lot of this shit has changed, but like

Speaker 54 the shit, dude, is like.

Speaker 20 No, I agree. Dude, I agree with you.
I texted you during the year and I go, dude, the officiating this year has been some of the fairest and best I've ever seen, except Chief games.

Speaker 15 thanks pushing them along except they're a great team dude i mean i'm not saying they're not a great team i'm not saying they would have not won

Speaker 51 two whatever but like how many weeks in a row can there be a bullshit call that goes their way every fucking every fucking time dude every

Speaker 27 time

Speaker 53 And this crap, what they talk about, the Patriots getting preferential treatment, dude.

Speaker 52 We went to like fucking like 12 AFC championship games or 15, like a zillion of them.

Speaker 27 We lost a lot of them.

Speaker 6 yeah we lost a lot of them

Speaker 20 dude i'm gonna tell you how disappointed i am in this year's super bowl i got offered vip treatment to go to the super bowl to fly down to be in a suite to do the whole fucking thing maybe even go on the field and i just go no i'm just i can't do it

Speaker 20 i can't do it i can't take part in either celebration i can't be happy for really i'm i'm i'm gonna pauly's gonna sit home he's gonna be with his kids he's gonna put his feet up, you know, couple people over, maybe play some darts.

Speaker 56 That's it.

Speaker 51 Well, I'm down to two sports now.

Speaker 42 I can watch hockey and baseball because I sort of feel, but the Astros fucked up baseball.

Speaker 19 Well, now I'm like, you know, there's no way other teams aren't going to be like, hey, you know, you stick a camera out there.

Speaker 25 You're fucking warring, guys.

Speaker 20 Imagine the Eagles just run them. Imagine if the Eagles just beat them by 30.

Speaker 50 Dude, that could happen.

Speaker 20 I wouldn't be surprised.

Speaker 57 I wouldn't be surprised, though, because I feel like there's so much chatter about this shit that it's so fucking ridiculous, this preferential treatment.

Speaker 54 I think that if the Eagles win, the owners win both ways, where it's like they got their money maker.

Speaker 55 The Kansas City Chiefs are a fucking money maker.

Speaker 30 Like it's just raining.

Speaker 15 You got that revenue share.

Speaker 49 Well, the worst thing about revenue sharing is it makes your owner fucking successful, whether his team is or not.

Speaker 51 And once you fucking do that, it becomes a fucking show.

Speaker 2 All right.

Speaker 34 Well, I know, I know.

Speaker 2 No, what?

Speaker 20 No, I'm just saying, dude.

Speaker 27 I know you were like, I know.

Speaker 30 Listen, dude, I'm not saying I'm 100% right here,

Speaker 30 but I think I'm about 69, 70% right on this fucking one, dude, where it's just like,

Speaker 49 it's just a, it's,

Speaker 49 I don't know, I don't want to fucking overspeak here, but dude, it's been a fucking abominable.

Speaker 24 I literally, I don't even watch Chiefs games.

Speaker 49 and then I watch the, and I just go on the internet, and everybody's just going, what the fuck?

Speaker 7 How the fuck can you call that?

Speaker 41 How can you not call that?

Speaker 59 And I don't even have to fucking guess which way it went,

Speaker 2 right? Yeah, and see it's so in the algorithm, too.

Speaker 20 Uh, we have Jake the Snake here, Jake's coming in.

Speaker 15 Dude, somebody's got to shut me up this week.

Speaker 28 All right, Jake.

Speaker 20 Oh, Jake's coming in in two minutes. He's putting his pants on.

Speaker 60 Jake's a little late.

Speaker 57 Yeah, he's taking his scarf off. He just got in.

Speaker 30 He's like when Henry Hill came home, where have you been, Henry?

Speaker 27 And he's,

Speaker 11 who are they?

Speaker 46 He's going to walk back to his fucking car. The what kind of people are they?

Speaker 20 Oh, dude, if Jake comes back, Jake comes on camera, he's wiping his nose, his hair's all over the place, she's in the background grabbing her clothes.

Speaker 19 Oh, somebody's got to do it, you know.

Speaker 50 You treat me like a dog, Jake.

Speaker 1 Ah, shut up.

Speaker 45 I'm 10 minutes late for my own podcast, and I got to come home.

Speaker 2 Today,

Speaker 26 how do you like it?

Speaker 2 All right. Well,

Speaker 20 I guess we could just go into the, we'll go.

Speaker 20 Here we go, man. Let's go into our picks here.
Here's the deal. The Chiefs are

Speaker 20 a point and a half favorite. A point and a half favorite the Chiefs are.

Speaker 20 Basically, it's a pick'em, dude. And

Speaker 20 Bill, I'll give you the, you want to go first or you you want me to go first?

Speaker 19 You go first.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 20 All right, ladies and gentlemen, here we go. My official pick for the Super Bowl.

Speaker 16 Look. Great word.

Speaker 7 Great word.

Speaker 2 What?

Speaker 1 You said official.

Speaker 38 Oh,

Speaker 20 look, I'm never as good in the playoffs the last couple of years as I am in the regular season. I don't know if that's wishful thinking or what.
Here's the deal.

Speaker 20 I learned my lesson going against the Chiefs many times.

Speaker 20 last year i had san francisco the game was all but one they fumble the ball on the four they mahomes and the chiefs come down and win the game say what you want about it i'm not making the same mistake twice i am going to pick the kansas city chiefs to get the three peat I think that I've just bet against them every time and I've lost every time.

Speaker 20 And I got to be honest with you, I don't know which I could stomach more, but

Speaker 20 seeing Saquon Barkley hoist up a Lombardi trophy after the years he had with the Giants would absolutely crush my heart.

Speaker 20 I'm going to take the Kansas City Chiefs minus one and a half to win the Super Bowl. That is my pick.

Speaker 15 We're taking the Eagles to kick the shit out of them.

Speaker 2 Okay.

Speaker 31 I think the Eagles, I think if they fucking let these two goddamn teams play football and these fucking stupid ass fucking officials call a first down, a fucking first down, and don't call a non-pass interference pass interference and all of that shit.

Speaker 31 And only Andy Reid can call fucking timeout if you take your fucking helmet off in the end zone. It's a fucking unsportsman.

Speaker 48 If they actually fucking call the game like a football game, I think the Eagles will beat them.

Speaker 43 I just do.

Speaker 43 And that's just coming from the fact that,

Speaker 34 you know, with Saquon Barkley, the amount, not only is Can he run all over him, the amount of fucking time they could take off the clock.

Speaker 31 Paul, this is all fucking wishful thinking.

Speaker 7 All right.

Speaker 19 This is like the cop showed up and Kansas City Chiefs are a blue-eyed blonde girl crying.

Speaker 43 Okay, you're going to jail.

Speaker 37 I mean, I am literally,

Speaker 30 I told you last year when I saw the fucking Chiefs were getting a point, I don't gamble like this.

Speaker 7 And I,

Speaker 24 I mean, most I ever put on a game was a couple hundred bucks.

Speaker 57 I have a thousand bucks.

Speaker 27 They're not going to let's show.

Speaker 27 But

Speaker 37 I feel like

Speaker 24 the show keeps going if the Chiefs lose, though.

Speaker 57 Because then, oh, that heartbreaking loss, can they fucking rebuild?

Speaker 15 And they can keep going with it, you know.

Speaker 49 But I will tell you, if Travis and fucking Shania Twain, there fucking break up,

Speaker 41 I'm telling you, the Chiefs are in trouble.

Speaker 25 Because

Speaker 25 if those, if that.

Speaker 58 I mean, one of them is dating a woman that can sell out a football stadium, Paul.

Speaker 25 That's a lot to go against.

Speaker 37 But

Speaker 37 I just think that, you know.

Speaker 20 You know what? And you know what?

Speaker 26 I just want the Eagles to win, Paul.

Speaker 28 I'm betting with my hot.

Speaker 27 Look into your heart.

Speaker 46 You got to move for Philly.

Speaker 20 You know what sucks about this, dude? What really sucks about this is a great coach like Andy Reid and a good team like this.

Speaker 20 Now, when there is a flag, even when the flag is real, people are going to question it because of all of this shit that's happened.

Speaker 20 And it sucks because it's like, what's fucking real with the call and what's not?

Speaker 20 And I hate that.

Speaker 45 I hate that. I don't feel bad for him because they're fucking walking around with the goddamn jewelry.

Speaker 49 I don't give a shit.

Speaker 20 Yeah, they did it to themselves.

Speaker 53 How many? I've lost count how many they've won.

Speaker 26 Is it three?

Speaker 27 Back to back and they won another. They got three, right?

Speaker 20 They got three out of the last five minutes.

Speaker 50 Oh, he's got four rings before he's 30.

Speaker 50 Is he the greatest ever?

Speaker 5 I mean, they've literally rebooted it.

Speaker 16 Bam.

Speaker 24 It's like when Jordan retired.

Speaker 5 Second Jordan retired, they had the boring-ass spurs, and then you went into the whole fucking pylon championship era,

Speaker 20 dude. They gave him 400 million before his third one,

Speaker 20 and he got four.

Speaker 41 Um, I don't, I don't, I'm, I'm telling you, dude, Paul, I am

Speaker 41 rooting against Walmart here.

Speaker 13 Oh, look who it is!

Speaker 15 Look who it is.

Speaker 50 What time did you kick her out?

Speaker 49 Jake the snake's wigs do not come off.

Speaker 19 Sorry, Jake.

Speaker 54 We woke you up. I know, Playboy.

Speaker 15 You're usually just coming home at this point.

Speaker 57 You're a Buke Skylark.

Speaker 11 So, Jake, you're wild to ask me.

Speaker 20 We got to ask you, Jake, we got a few minutes left here. Do we have any injuries for the big game?

Speaker 61 No,

Speaker 61 everyone's going to be out there.

Speaker 61 I believe it's also saying one of the Eagles was sick. It was either Jalen Carter or A.J.
Brown, but I think

Speaker 61 you played through illnesses on Linux on time.

Speaker 11 I'm saying the referee sprayed a common cold mist spray at him.

Speaker 62 Exactly.

Speaker 55 Jake, do the Eagles are going to win this game, right?

Speaker 16 Come on.

Speaker 61 I don't know.

Speaker 61 How are you going to bet against the Mahomes at this point?

Speaker 61 to your point, they may not rig this game because, you know, it could generate interest for next year because, you know,

Speaker 11 it's.

Speaker 11 You know what?

Speaker 43 He's the greatest guy that ever put on fucking. I've never seen a quarterback better than him.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 37 How strong his arm is, the way he sees the field,

Speaker 51 his toughness on the field.

Speaker 15 I've just never seen a guy play the position better.

Speaker 37 He's the greatest

Speaker 42 time until the second he retires and then they'll prop up the next could he get 50?

Speaker 20 You know what's weird weird too? His thighs touch when he walks and runs. I've never seen a guy's, ever see his legs? He just doesn't look like he'd be that athletic.

Speaker 20 He walks, his thighs touch when he walks.

Speaker 56 Anyway, I don't know.

Speaker 20 Look, I'm not betting against him.

Speaker 33 Oh, you know, when you go to the supermarket and they tell you something's organic, but it really isn't.

Speaker 27 I'm not saying it's going to kill you.

Speaker 2 I'm just saying it's not as good as they're saying it is.

Speaker 20 Well, listen,

Speaker 20 we should let our other two guys on the show here do it. Andrew and Jake, who do you guys got? It's a one and a half point spread.
Who do you got?

Speaker 63 I'm just going to root for the Eagles.

Speaker 18 That's not the question, Andrew.

Speaker 54 Have you ever heard more of a lack of excitement about a Super Bowl in your fucking life?

Speaker 7 No, I'm not going to root for the Eagles.

Speaker 60 Well, I mean, I like last championship games, everybody I rooted for lost.

Speaker 64 So, I mean, I,

Speaker 62 it's, you know, know

Speaker 60 you sound like I'm not I'm not gonna put money on the Chiefs I don't know so if I say I think the Chiefs are gonna win then how do I enjoy the game rooting for the Eagles

Speaker 27 sabotage all right how about you Jake that's a quagmire yeah that was that was a who done it you know you got the light you got the lighting too andrew I like that it's very mysterious Jake's got the Chiefs I could see it all over his face Jake Jake right now is in stack's apartment he just killed him and he told him to fucking take the coffee i bet you had one of your bitches in here i did where'd she go

Speaker 52 um what are you doing it's a joke he goes what are you gonna take the pot

Speaker 30 um all right well there you go i feel more than anything that's why frankie carbon got whacked

Speaker 26 he was just too stupid it's just like this guy's gonna accidentally say some you know to the wrong person Yeah, you dizzy motherfucker.

Speaker 20 Yeah, he was just like, he was, he was doomed. He was fucking doomed.
johnny roast beef johnny roast beef was the fun one of the best characters in that movie dude

Speaker 20 grandmother's name he's my mother's it was a gift it was uh i love that card i'm sorry

Speaker 20 and i love when his wife tried talking and his and then deniro goes hold on a second sweetheart um all right stupid or what

Speaker 6 mvp

Speaker 20 All right, let's go. Who's going to be MVP of the game?

Speaker 43 I say the Eagles winning Patrick Mahomes is given.

Speaker 60 But he just played so well.

Speaker 11 We have to.

Speaker 54 I don't think I've ever seen a guy take a Super Bowl loss better than Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 57 I mean, as much as Saquon Barkley ran for 240 yards, I have to say the class that Patrick Mahomes just showed, all these Kansas City Chiefs and the city of Kansas City, and let's not forget Taylor Swift.

Speaker 5 I think they all share in this MVP trophy.

Speaker 20 The way he threw that interception, I know it went to the other team, but nobody throws interceptions in the end zone.

Speaker 30 I mean, it's right on the numbers.

Speaker 28 It was a perfect interception.

Speaker 60 It actually looked like he was trying to hit his man.

Speaker 61 Saquon for MVP is a good number, though. If you do want to take the Eagles, I think it's 250.

Speaker 18 That's a pretty good number.

Speaker 20 Oh, my God, dude. That's like a haunting nightmare for me if Saquon is the MVP of the Super Bowl for the Eagles.

Speaker 19 Oh, you doubled down on that, Paul.

Speaker 48 A haunting nightmare.

Speaker 19 Haunting nightmare. 240.
Haunting Nightmare.

Speaker 55 Is that like the name of a metal album?

Speaker 43 That just you can, the band's starting to die.

Speaker 28 And then their fourth, their fourth album.

Speaker 20 I thought it sounded like an opening band.

Speaker 2 All right, guys,

Speaker 20 before Metallica comes out here, we got a young band, Haunting Nightmare. It's just a guy.
He's got like the, he's just like fucking.

Speaker 50 Okay, old clan, are you ready to rock tonight?

Speaker 50 Because we are.

Speaker 59 we got the haunting nightmare shirts in the lobby all right uh

Speaker 45 all right hauntingnightmare.org who threw that who threw that

Speaker 20 we're from right outside of detroit michigan we just want to thank all the haunted nightmare fans

Speaker 2 dude haunting nightmare um

Speaker 16 savage animal

Speaker 1 um all right so

Speaker 20 i think for mvp I'm going to go. I'm going to go.
I got one for you. Hold on.
If I could get my stupid camera.

Speaker 19 I'm going to go with Elon Musk on us there, Paul.

Speaker 20 Dude, I don't know what's going on with this camera. I got to.

Speaker 20 I'm going to take Travis Kelsey for MVP.

Speaker 61 That's a fun one.

Speaker 55 Oh, that's now there's where the money's at.

Speaker 27 Plus 1500, Paul.

Speaker 2 Plus 150.

Speaker 20 Travis Kelsey ends up having the last game. And then how about this?

Speaker 42 And what's the over-under that he goes and he points at Taylor Dane up there in the fucking sweet so they get the cross-pollination?

Speaker 61 There, there's actually props on it, he'll propose after the game.

Speaker 26 I think he's gonna retire if they win.

Speaker 20 I, my prediction is he if he's gonna have a game of his life, get MVP, and then retire.

Speaker 25 Yeah, is he that old?

Speaker 20 Yeah, he's wanted to retire for two years now, dude. He's doing this because of the three-peat run or whatever.
But if he loses, wins or lose, I think he's done, dude.

Speaker 62 He has he's already got like a buddy cop movie lined up.

Speaker 63 It's like

Speaker 12 it's so

Speaker 63 yeah, I'm not even joking.

Speaker 5 I swear to god, no, no, he's acting now, yeah, it's gonna be terrible, it's gonna be absolutely awful.

Speaker 62 By the way,

Speaker 47 you know, it's gonna be good, it might be better than that Brian Bosworth movie.

Speaker 43 Come on, Andrew, give him a chance.

Speaker 19 I think uh,

Speaker 49 it's good for him, though.

Speaker 51 Why get your fucking brain knocked around any more than you need to?

Speaker 37 If you can go and do the gig that we do, that's right.

Speaker 63 We're not working, yeah, just don't do movies.

Speaker 27 I'm not even wearing pants right now. I'm fucking, I'm, I'm at work, it's crazy, you know.

Speaker 60 When I first saw Travis Kelsey, I thought he looked like Wayne Grove from Heat.

Speaker 64 And then, like, and I just thought I was a goofy guy.

Speaker 60 And then next thing you know, he's Dave Taylor Swift.

Speaker 63 I'm like, am I the only one who thought he looked like the guy who was gonna, you know, was he the guy who uh they ended up they got to kill him because he got a big mouth?

Speaker 64 Uh, yeah, oh, yeah, Wayne Grove, Heat.

Speaker 20 Oh, Wayne, dude, did you ever see Mulaney's show where they had Wayne Grove?

Speaker 11 Isn't that Kelsey?

Speaker 60 Isn't this just Travis Kelsey? Is it just me?

Speaker 42 Let's say it's for you.

Speaker 58 I can tell you right now, if Travis Kelsey does the work that Kevin Gage did, I guess that's his name.

Speaker 41 I would fucking, I'd be excited about that.

Speaker 20 Dude, go to Mulaney's, John Mulaney's

Speaker 20 talk show. They brought Wayne Gro out to do stand-up as Wayne Groh and Bill Hayter was on the couch and they were cackle laughing.

Speaker 20 He came out and did

Speaker 20 came out in the Wayne Grove robe that he got killed in by De Niro and he did stand up.

Speaker 20 It was so did they write his stand up?

Speaker 20 It was, dude, it was Wayne Gro as if he would do stand-up, and I was crying, laughing. He just came out in the robe in that attitude.
It was really funny. I'll send it to you.

Speaker 6 But amazing.

Speaker 20 All right. So here we go.
Bill's got the Eagles. I got the Chiefs.
Jake's got the Chiefs.

Speaker 26 And I didn't do MVP.

Speaker 27 What about me?

Speaker 20 Yeah, what's your MVP?

Speaker 49 Fucking Saquon Barkley.

Speaker 16 Oh,

Speaker 13 yeah, I'm going.

Speaker 49 Saquon Barkley is going to fucking, he's going to be a nightmare.

Speaker 29 Anything,

Speaker 49 anything, I hope.

Speaker 31 I hope by this second quarter taylor swift's going oh my god you know she does that when she looks in the upper deck and sees some 12-year-old waving a taylor swift doll at her

Speaker 26 it's amazing paul this is where football is right now the level of shock i remember when i was a kid and i was watching the the steelers and uh the cowboys and uh fucking billy joe deprie was tagging uh share and they would cut up their

Speaker 20 dude did you see what did you see what the reporter said did did you see what the reporter said to Travis Kelsey the question they asked him at meeting today he goes what do you love more Taylor Swift or Phantom 15 yard pass interfere or roughing the passport calls and he did you see his microphone his microphone said sports on it

Speaker 20 Travis Kelsey goes great question anyone else um

Speaker 50 all right did the same thing to Mahomes Mahomes just rolled with it

Speaker 56 Yeah.

Speaker 52 Hey, Mahomes is like, hey, wait, it fell off the truck.

Speaker 13 Oh.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 20 What I do like about Mahomes is he does have that, like, he just, the Eli Manning, where, yeah, no, you're right. You're right.
That's what's happening.

Speaker 33 Paul, I'm going to watch this game in Little Italy.

Speaker 45 Try to figure out which one of those wise guys set this up.

Speaker 20 Get a cannoli and a coffee. Enjoy.

Speaker 2 Hey, who's that fucking guy over there?

Speaker 19 He looks like a cop.

Speaker 49 All right, guys.

Speaker 20 Well, listen, this is sad that this is the last one of the year. We're going to be on a little break.
We're going to be on a long hiatus here until kickoff of whatever.

Speaker 46 So enjoy.

Speaker 24 Well, it's not going to be a long hiatus because you'll have all of the offseason to just think about how like how this is the most unbelievable, greatest fucking team you've ever seen.

Speaker 5 Nobody has ever played the game the way that they do.

Speaker 55 I mean, like Ray Lewis has got to be like just taking a knee right now, taking in the magnitude of the greatness of this fucking.

Speaker 24 I mean, I know Ray played the game at a certain level, but the way that these guys are playing is just, I mean, come on, Paul.

Speaker 20 You know what's sad? I got to be honest before we get out of here. What's sad is this is kind of the

Speaker 56 girl in the world.

Speaker 20 this is the one of the worst

Speaker 46 remember that when the guy was looking up at gwen stefani every five minutes brett farb wasn't he dating her in the 90s was it her that's all that they'll let me be

Speaker 20 what the am i watching dude it's the lack this is a tough one dude can i be honest this is a tough one This is one of the least watched.

Speaker 20 Me, for me to see these two teams, I just like, I'm literally going to be like, this is one where I'm going to go get food during a play.

Speaker 50 Like, this is

Speaker 42 you're still a fan of the NFL.

Speaker 43 You still believe in the NFL.

Speaker 24 So you're the only glue holding this fucking show together.

Speaker 20 No, but look, dude,

Speaker 20 I think that I agree with what we're saying, but dude, I don't care about these teams right now, man.

Speaker 20 You know,

Speaker 20 I wanted the Buffalo Bills, the Washington Commanders.

Speaker 52 I wanted somebody to talk Josh Allen to start dating somebody we know.

Speaker 64 Yo, the I'm looking at a different not.

Speaker 29 Oh my gosh,

Speaker 24 somebody's got to start dating Dochi.

Speaker 2 That's

Speaker 27 did you see her at the Grammys, dude?

Speaker 28 The level of talent that that person, she's unbelievable.

Speaker 26 Unfucking.

Speaker 2 I didn't, I didn't see.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 56 And they're still going to still give the Grammy to Taylor Swift.

Speaker 2 It's happening. It's, dude, this, this transcends football.

Speaker 50 I don't know if she won it or not.

Speaker 20 No, tell us

Speaker 27 she was off sides during her fucking

Speaker 15 routine well i was just gonna say if if uh looking at some non uh

Speaker 60 sanctioned prop bets from uh for the for taylor swift and jake's not kidding there's there's some crazy stuff out here uh

Speaker 31 Will she be shown during America the Beautiful?

Speaker 30 Will she be mentioned on stage during the halftime show by any performer hey Paul you remember in 1986 when the giants won their first one and that prop bet about Madonna do you remember if you could you could bet whether or not Madonna

Speaker 55 she was banging uh fucking uh

Speaker 2 what was your what was your tight end's name I fucking love that guy oh Mark Bavarov yeah Mark Brevaro was wasn't that

Speaker 38 yes

Speaker 45 she was banging

Speaker 26 I'm just doing this Paul to show you how fucking far away this game has gotten from fucking football.

Speaker 60 Will Travis Kelsey do heart hands

Speaker 18 during a Super Bowl?

Speaker 62 These are football bets, Paul.

Speaker 29 These are football bets.

Speaker 13 Unbelievable.

Speaker 18 Paul, I'm going to say it again.

Speaker 63 These are not Bet M GM football bets.

Speaker 19 They're too good for this.

Speaker 18 Yeah, these are not.

Speaker 20 Bet MGM. We just want to say Bet MGM would not do this.
They do not have it on theirs.

Speaker 64 No, no, no, no. They don't.

Speaker 60 They're an official sport.

Speaker 20 This is non-sanctioned bullshit, but Bet MGM is above this. The Anything Better Show is above.

Speaker 50 will travis kelsey will travis why are they scared of paul what why are they intimidated that a woman is going to a football game will travis kelcey point at the booth and wink plus 2 000.

Speaker 52 um does taylor swift have a signature dance move that she does will he do that after he

Speaker 20 No, all Taylor Swift does.

Speaker 27 Does he do the Taylor Whaley, Taylor Haler?

Speaker 20 No, this is Taylor Swift after every play when they show.

Speaker 50 It's like, yeah, it was a 12-yard pass. You know what I love about her?

Speaker 58 She's never aware that she's on the camera, on camera, so you get that real natural reaction.

Speaker 18 All right.

Speaker 25 All right, guys.

Speaker 20 We will.

Speaker 52 Hey, Paul, just be happy. I think you're going to see your first AI football championship.

Speaker 46 What the NFL wants.

Speaker 26 They don't have to pay the players anymore.

Speaker 25 You just buy the robots once.

Speaker 20 I'll say this: I could see the Eagles winning this game. I have a weird feeling they're going to, but I just can't go against the machine.

Speaker 26 And I don't like when you hedge your bets.

Speaker 56 No, I know. I first met you.

Speaker 58 The undefeated Patriots are going against the Giants.

Speaker 52 You're like, you know, Pat's over there, but you know, the Giants could surprise some people and then they won.

Speaker 26 You're like, what I say?

Speaker 11 What I say.

Speaker 46 Oh, probably both sides.

Speaker 59 He's got a leg on either side of the fence.

Speaker 45 Fucking picking goddamn teen.

Speaker 11 I'm taking the Eagles.

Speaker 46 Saquon Barkley's the fucking MVP.

Speaker 20 I'm taking the Chiefs.

Speaker 60 Over-under is 48 and a half.

Speaker 63 In case you want to comment on that. No.

Speaker 22 No.

Speaker 5 Does Taylor Swift have a bowl of organic lemons already cut

Speaker 24 in case the Chiefs don't win?

Speaker 33 And she can quickly go like this and act like she cares about football.

Speaker 20 You know what? I bet you there's instructions to not put the camera on her if the the Chiefs lose or are losing, which is ridiculous.

Speaker 58 How do you think she's been treating Travis Kelsey this week?

Speaker 26 And will that affect his performance on the field?

Speaker 20 I think she's a very supportive girlfriend.

Speaker 24 I think she's a very strong representation

Speaker 43 of how a woman should sit in a crowd, even though she could sell out the fucking stadium.

Speaker 20 I will say this.

Speaker 20 I don't like how she's the only one that stands at the Grammys when everybody's sitting, watching, and then there's a performance at the Grammys, and she's the only one standing, dancing.

Speaker 20 It's very self-serving and narcissistic, and I don't like it. And I like her,

Speaker 11 Paul.

Speaker 20 And I defend her.

Speaker 54 She's just being supportive.

Speaker 20 Yeah, she's supporting her friends.

Speaker 58 Why are you threatened by her standing?

Speaker 20 I like her, dude. I like seeing her on the thing.
I think she's, I don't mind it.

Speaker 1 She's a nice kid.

Speaker 13 All right.

Speaker 59 Listen, Paul, as as the world turns,

Speaker 37 these are the days of our lives.

Speaker 25 Wasn't that,

Speaker 20 I was going to say, that was a soap opera, right?

Speaker 19 It's a soap opera, Paul.

Speaker 28 It's a very successful show.

Speaker 59 That's a perfect way to end.

Speaker 50 That's a perfect way to end.

Speaker 7 Hey, listen, Paul.

Speaker 19 We had a great run.

Speaker 2 The NFL had a great run.

Speaker 7 NBA had a great run.

Speaker 25 It's over.

Speaker 55 They're gambling casinos now.

Speaker 41 And

Speaker 26 there's a lot of channels out there.

Speaker 24 I mean, you could not watch the Super Bowl and just watch people fucking wiping out on motorcycles for the whole time and forget the games on. That's what they're competing with.

Speaker 15 So they're changing their brand.

Speaker 39 They're doing a great job.

Speaker 43 They're incorporating all these other things in there.

Speaker 24 They're going to support the troops with the flyover as they charge whatever branch of military a whole bunch of money to fly their jet over there as we pay for the fuel.

Speaker 49 It is what it is, Paul. It's the oligarch Paul.

Speaker 38 That's what you pay.

Speaker 2 You know what you should do?

Speaker 26 Go on YouTube and watch a Super Bowl pre-1976 on YouTube.

Speaker 37 They have some complete games.

Speaker 24 The game is playing during the day, and the halftime show is like the college band.

Speaker 7 Yeah, like when they played in like Tulane Stadium, they're like the Tulane marching band.

Speaker 11 Yeah, dude, that last year.

Speaker 7 That's all it was.

Speaker 50 That's what it should be.

Speaker 20 I don't want, that's what it should be.

Speaker 55 It's it's so not the game anymore, Paul.

Speaker 45 I don't know, it is just it has just lost its

Speaker 59 way.

Speaker 45 It's like when you two, when he was wearing the big glasses, going, This is the most surreal night of my life, and they decided we have to become the, it just wasn't, it became something else.

Speaker 19 That's where we are, that's where we are right now.

Speaker 27 Well, enjoying it.

Speaker 25 I think Brian Adams put some makeup on,

Speaker 20 all right, guys. There you go.
We got to get out of here. Thank you guys so much for watching the show this year.
We hope you enjoy the Super Bowl. We'll be back with updates on stuff with the show.

Speaker 20 Um, there you go.

Speaker 58 Hey, shout out to all of our fans who watched this year, who were smart enough to bet against me and bet with these other three guys who absolutely killed them.

Speaker 21 Paul, I am not, I'm not, I am right at this point.

Speaker 26 They trade me off this show for a co-host to be named later

Speaker 56 and cash um

Speaker 20 i love the cat and cash 20 40 60 get the out of here the knicks just made a trade and it was like for this guy and cash but all right everybody enjoy the super bowl we'll see you guys soon take care bet responsibly download the app use the code burr enjoy the game and um go chiefs i don't know

Speaker 2 take more barks like you'll be running wild on sunday i hope all right all right guys take care.