Thursday Afternoon Monday Morning Podcast 1-24-25

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 2 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht and the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 2 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 3 hey what's going on it's bill burr and it's time for the thursday afternoon just before friday monday morning podcast and i'm just checking in

Speaker 3 checking in on you what's going on how are you

Speaker 3 how's it going what's up People on the East Coast, my friends still checking in on me to see how I'm doing. I have not watched anything on the news.
I don't watch the news.

Speaker 3 I have no idea what's going on.

Speaker 3 And it's unsettling that they keep asking because I thought the fires were out and they were just sort of hosing it down as they do afterward, but I guess not.

Speaker 3 I guess it's still going. So

Speaker 3 this is insane. So it is what it is.
I've started to wear a mask out here. I didn't have a mask on for a few days.
I was like, I don't want to do the fucking mask thing again.

Speaker 3 And I walked around for a couple of days without a mask and my throat was killing me, right? And I was just thinking that, I was just thinking, like, you know,

Speaker 3 all like the plastic, you know what I mean? Everybody has a plastic dustpan in their house, you know. And then like if like,

Speaker 3 you know, if somebody has Crocs in a house, I feel like you're like a Crocs family.

Speaker 3 You know?

Speaker 3 Like just not one person, then everybody gets them.

Speaker 1 And those things are like, oh, those rubber?

Speaker 3 Maybe those are rubber. I don't know what it is.

Speaker 3 But

Speaker 3 all I was thinking was they

Speaker 3 better,

Speaker 3 you know, since what they learned during the cleanup after 9-11, that they get these firefighters you know the right equipment so they don't destroy their lungs um

Speaker 3 i don't know what a time what a time it's all you know something every time's a crazy time to be alive though you know when you think about it i think that's why people like the 90s

Speaker 3 80s and 90s and maybe most of the 70s at least in this country it's like we got out of vietnam so that was over you know you have your recessions, fucking bankers, right?

Speaker 3 And you kind of went in and out of that. We had Grenada in the 80s, you know.

Speaker 3 And then we had a quick one

Speaker 3 in the early 90s over in the Middle East.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 There's always something going on, though, right? There's always something that makes you feel like whatever you believe in is going to be showing up next week to judge you.

Speaker 3 I saw this thing with this guy who recently passed away.

Speaker 3 They posted his thoughts on the afterlife, and he was a reincarnation guy, which just doesn't make any sense to me. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 Like you keep coming back until you get it right and then you...

Speaker 3 Then you get to go to the afterlife.

Speaker 3 Then what I would think would be the population would be slowly dropping rather than increasing because with each death, there would be a certain percentage that finally got it right.

Speaker 3 And then also I'm thinking like, if that is true, the reincarnation thing, that you stay here until you figure it out,

Speaker 3 and human beings have been walking the planet for I don't know how many hundreds of thousands, millions, I can never fucking remember what scientists say. Or the Bible.
If the re

Speaker 3 well, they don't believe in reincarnation, but whatever. What the scientists say, you know, we claim out of a fucking lake or some shit.

Speaker 3 And I'm still here. It's like, how fucking dumb am I?

Speaker 3 Like, at what point do you give up on the dream of like, you know what I mean?

Speaker 3 Like, I had a lot of fucking dreams before I figured I'd give stand-up a shot. I had a lot of fucking dreams.

Speaker 3 And one of the things that led me to stand-up comedy was was when I sucked at something, I honestly looked at myself and I was like, I don't,

Speaker 3 you know,

Speaker 3 I'm not good at this.

Speaker 3 And I would just try to find something else. So it would be weird

Speaker 3 if I was able to do that in my life and find the right job for me, learning from my failures.

Speaker 3 as far as my career, but for some reason, the overall, the big overall, getting life and doing it right,

Speaker 3 I keep doing it wrong.

Speaker 3 You know, that's a good sci-fi movie, right? That somehow everyone finally becomes aware of it.

Speaker 3 Right?

Speaker 3 And that's why the world keeps getting worse and worse, because with each generation dying off, the people that get life and are nice and courteous and empathetic or whatever you're supposed to be doing down here,

Speaker 3 there's none of them left. So then all it is is just us pieces of shit.

Speaker 3 And then

Speaker 3 whoever makes us announces this is the final round.

Speaker 3 And it's the most difficult because everybody down there is a fucking moron, a piece of shit, or both.

Speaker 3 And that's why the world has progressively gotten worse and worse. And this is your last opportunity.
And you somehow, all of you,

Speaker 3 have to set aside your petty shit,

Speaker 3 your greed, your lust, whatever the fuck it is that's holding you back.

Speaker 3 And you got to do what's right.

Speaker 3 Or else, for the rest of your life,

Speaker 3 you know,

Speaker 3 your life is going to be standing in line at the D. DMV or

Speaker 3 whatever the fuck your idea of hell is.

Speaker 3 i don't know i never thought with like

Speaker 3 with like hell i just never thought like the punishment matched the crime

Speaker 3 you know what i mean unless you were like

Speaker 3 like a like a serial killer like if you just like took somebody's life

Speaker 3 you know what i mean or you were some mass murdering dictator or fucking whatever like i i always felt like like that

Speaker 3 justified

Speaker 3 being like,

Speaker 3 you know,

Speaker 3 punished forever, right?

Speaker 3 Because you took these people away from the people that they loved. You took somebody's life.
That always made sense to me. But like, you know,

Speaker 3 if you're just some fucking asshole that cheats on his taxes,

Speaker 3 you know what I mean? You went to Vegas and you got a hooker.

Speaker 3 I just don't see like, and now

Speaker 3 you shall be down there right next to Hitler. It's like, really?

Speaker 3 I mean, what the, that's a big fucking leap. No?

Speaker 3 I don't know. I always felt like if you had any sort of a fucking, like.

Speaker 3 I don't know. So much, it all, everything falls apart after a couple of quests.
There's always something you can't answer, including if you go the science way. You can't answer it after a while.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean? And they can be like, well, you know, we haven't figured it out yet, you know? So it's like, all right, I'll go with that arrogance.

Speaker 3 And then, like, you have on the other side, religion,

Speaker 3 which

Speaker 3 so much of it is made up of just dumb people who are so too dumb to know that they're stupid, right? And they just, well, that's God.

Speaker 3 That God did that. It's just the fucking simple answer.

Speaker 3 Simple answer. You know what I mean? Like, oh, you know, why does that happen? Oh, that's, that's, that's God.
God.

Speaker 3 He did that.

Speaker 3 I always love, you have the answer, and you know the sex

Speaker 3 of the pro like, what, like,

Speaker 3 and all, he, he made us in his image, all of that arrogance and all of that stuff.

Speaker 3 Like, I like, uh

Speaker 3 like, you know,

Speaker 3 I definitely think the way that we behave, it's feels more believable to me that we crawled out of a swamp

Speaker 3 than

Speaker 3 the perfect guy created us in his image, and this is the way we're behaving. Or maybe we're like the boss's son.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean? Like, he did all the work, and now we're just going around being fucking, hey, you know who I am?

Speaker 1 Huh?

Speaker 3 God, yeah, he created me in his image, man.

Speaker 5 Means I get to do whatever the fuck fuck I want.

Speaker 3 So, anyway,

Speaker 3 playoffs this weekend.

Speaker 3 One football game, one predetermined outcome.

Speaker 3 So, I'll just be watching that NFC game. I can't stomach watching,

Speaker 3 and it's not the Chiefs' fault. It's not the fan base's fault.
I just can't, I can't fuck it.

Speaker 1 I just can't look at that show anymore. All right.

Speaker 3 If I wanted to watch football like that, I would watch Tom Cruise and all the right moves. You know what I mean? I'm not like, you know,

Speaker 3 I'll go put on Rob Lowe and Youngblood.

Speaker 3 I'll just watch a movie rather than something that's acting like it's real rather than a fucking movie. Like, it's a made-for-TV fucking movie at that point.

Speaker 3 Where you just start, they're literally casting people.

Speaker 5 So,

Speaker 5 anyway,

Speaker 3 I've been watching College Hoop

Speaker 3 and I've been following the Jayhawks. I watched their last two games.
I watched them come back against TCU.

Speaker 3 TCU giving into the pressure of the NBA with the fancy or the European basketball courts.

Speaker 3 It's fucking difficult with me, with my old eyes, to watch a basketball game where the floor is supposed to be the same texture as a horned frog. It's like, I get it.
You're frogs.

Speaker 3 I don't understand how you think making that little three-pronged thing with your hand is supposed to be a horny toad, but I mean, I'll give it to you.

Speaker 3 I'll give it to you. The same way Florida thinks that clapping your arms together is, ooh, that's like an alligator.
And I don't think it is.

Speaker 3 I don't think it is. It looks like you shutting

Speaker 3 like,

Speaker 3 what would you call that? Like a couple of pocket doors that were turned vertical. More so than an alligator.
I think it's disrespectful to alligators considering how long they've been here.

Speaker 3 You know, and how many things that they've survived.

Speaker 3 Like, as much as God fucked up with people, he crushed it with fucking alligators and crocodiles.

Speaker 3 I mean, those goddamn things. It's like if you can just live to being like, you know,

Speaker 3 I don't know, eight, nine feet tall. Eight, nine feet? Is that what you say?

Speaker 3 Something like that. Eight, nine feet tall,

Speaker 1 long.

Speaker 3 Then you have like the chance to live. Like, how long do those things live? Is it like tortoises? I saw this thing the other day.
They tried to say this tortoise was 150 fucking years old.

Speaker 3 It's like, what is it? Telling stories?

Speaker 3 Are you counting the rings on its neck? How the fuck do you know how old it is?

Speaker 3 Scientists

Speaker 3 figure that shit out.

Speaker 3 They sit there and they fucking look like, how the fuck do we figure out how old? You're looking at its molars?

Speaker 3 How long its beak is? Whatever you call it.

Speaker 3 Anyways, the Kansas Jayhawks, as I switch between the end of the world, creationism versus

Speaker 3 crawling out of a swamp over to Bread and Circus. We're back to Bread and Circus.
The Kansas Jayhawks' next game, ladies and gentlemen, is

Speaker 3 who is it? They're playing Houston.

Speaker 3 The Houston. Houston, were they? The Cougars or whatever?

Speaker 3 They're a top 10 goddamn team.

Speaker 3 Taking you all the way back to five, Jama, Slamma, Slamma, Jama, whatever they were. Way back in the day, Clyde Drexler, Akeem Elijahon, and all of them.
They're back.

Speaker 3 Let's see, where are they ranked? I got the rankings right in front of me. They're ranked seventh.

Speaker 1 Auburn.

Speaker 3 War Eagle, number one. Duke is two.
Iowa State. Yes, Iowa State.

Speaker 3 When was the last time Iowa or Iowa State was ranked this high in anything?

Speaker 3 Maybe

Speaker 3 thrash metal?

Speaker 3 Maybe that was the thing that they

Speaker 3 was slipknot. I don't know.
Alabama.

Speaker 3 Everybody thinks it's about football over there. Look at that.
I'm trying to think the last great Auburn basketball player I want to say was Charles Barkley, but I don't watch it a lot.

Speaker 3 Then you got Florida.

Speaker 3 Was it Jokeem Noah played there? Then you got Tennessee. I think Peyton Manning during the offseason,

Speaker 3 he played the two-guard, right? Then Houston is number seven. Michigan State, Kentucky, and Marquette.

Speaker 3 Rounding out the top 10. And then you got there's some crazy teams in here.
I never would have thought would be in the top 20 in basketball. Purdue, that makes sense.
Kansas,

Speaker 3 my Jayhawks are at 12 and 12.

Speaker 3 Texas AM,

Speaker 3 Mississippi State, there's some new ones here. Oregon, Ole Miss.

Speaker 3 Illinois, Wisconsin, Yukon. I feel like that's low for them at 19.
They must have lost some players left. St.
John's,

Speaker 3 formerly known as the Redmen, now known as the Red Storm. Here's a question I I have: Do the St.
John's

Speaker 3 Red Storm ever play in their old arena or all of their games at Madison Square Garden?

Speaker 3 Because when I'm back eased doing the play, I would love to go to a game, but I want to go if I could in that other stadium,

Speaker 3 which is

Speaker 3 kind of going to be difficult because

Speaker 3 I feel like their games will be the same time I'll be working. Who knows?

Speaker 3 Shout out to the Michigan Wolverines at 21. Missouri 22, West Virginia 23, Memphis.

Speaker 3 Sorry, Missouri 22, West Virginia.

Speaker 1 What?

Speaker 3 Oh, West Virginia 23, Memphis 24. There we go.

Speaker 3 And I said what? Because I keep doing that. My eyes, they keep failing me.
I need my reading glasses so I have them.

Speaker 3 Anyway, plumbing ahead here.

Speaker 3 Here's another upside if you're into moto sports. Moto GP and F1 are starting again next month, and I saw two crazy things.

Speaker 3 Mark Marquez is

Speaker 3 you know, he rode Ducati last year, but he wasn't on the official team. He's now on the official team

Speaker 3 with

Speaker 3 Peko Banyaye, and then

Speaker 3 Lewis Hamilton is driving Ferrari. Now, a lot of people have difficulty with that,

Speaker 3 you know, saying they should have, I guess, stuck with the two young kids that were coming up, but

Speaker 3 I get why he would do that. I would think if you, if you were an

Speaker 3 F1 driver and you had the opportunity not only to drive for Mercedes, but then also drive for Ferrari and become part of the history of both of those.

Speaker 3 I mean, what else does that that guy have to prove? Doesn't he have like the most championships of all time? You know,

Speaker 3 as you can tell, I don't know much about F1, but

Speaker 3 I know that people were mildly upset by the fact that he...

Speaker 1 Why doesn't he look?

Speaker 3 Why is he doing what he wants to do?

Speaker 3 I don't know. That's like you basically have

Speaker 3 You know, the Jordan of both sports or the modern day Jordan of both sports are changing what

Speaker 3 factory they're riding for, which is really, really going to be interesting. I can't fucking wait, man.

Speaker 3 And I got to tell you, man, I know you watch a lot of sports, but Moto GP is the easiest thing to watch. They're quick races.
They're only 20-something laps.

Speaker 3 And they got three levels of them.

Speaker 3 They got Moto 3, Moto 2, and then the top one.

Speaker 3 So,

Speaker 3 you know,

Speaker 3 I don't know if you like passing and that type of stuff. If you like watching somebody riding 200 miles an hour on a motorcycle

Speaker 3 and he's trying to pass the person in front of him going 202 miles an hour, I mean, if that's exciting to you,

Speaker 3 that is the sport for you. All right, let's get into the

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Speaker 3 B-I-L-L-B-U-R-R, one word.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 2 Sebastian Menuscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep

Speaker 1 coming.

Speaker 2 Sebastian Manascalco, it ain't right. Premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers.
Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Well, there you have it.

Speaker 3 It's 23 minutes of your life, you'll never get back.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 anyway, um,

Speaker 3 becoming a fucking motorcycle fanatic.

Speaker 1 Um

Speaker 3 it's weird.

Speaker 3 I don't know. I I've always liked them and now that I've been riding a little bit, I absolutely love them.

Speaker 3 And um

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 I don't know what to do about it.

Speaker 3 This is not something

Speaker 3 I saw happening. But I mean, they're fucking works of art, so many of them.
And I've been want I've been you know what I've been looking at is a bunch of the older ones.

Speaker 3 It's a fucking disease, man. I just love old shit.

Speaker 3 I love old houses. I love old instruments.
I love old cars, trucks,

Speaker 3 motorcycles.

Speaker 3 I like anything that's fucking old. I just think it's inherently fascinating.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 That, like, what how it used to look, the way it was built, you know, the technology that existed then. Like, I've been really into

Speaker 3 a lot of those

Speaker 3 classic Japanese bikes, you know, sort of like the first super bikes. And I don't mean the ones from the 80s, like the 70s.

Speaker 3 Some of the Hondas, particularly. And I remember as a kid, I used to always love them.

Speaker 3 And there was this weird thing when, like, when I was growing up, where all of a sudden foreign cars were like taking over, like, my family had a 73 Toyota Corona station wagon, black,

Speaker 3 gray with black interior, stick shift. Everyone in my family drove a stick, right?

Speaker 3 Four-speed, and actually had a wood handle.

Speaker 3 But it was like one of the last years that they did that. And I remember my dad going, Christ, look at the dashboard, piece of shit, right? Because it was all like plastic.

Speaker 1 Oh, Christ, look at this thing.

Speaker 3 You know, he didn't want to buy a foreign car, but it's just where we were. They were cheaper, right?

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 what was I going to say? I always loved, like, during that period,

Speaker 3 the brake lights,

Speaker 3 the way the red and the orange, and the shape of them, the way they put them together on the Dotsons, the Toyotas, the cars, and then on the motorcycles.

Speaker 3 I used to always love the Honda's rear brake light. I don't know why.

Speaker 3 There was just something about it that it just really

Speaker 3 looked great and it looked great with the 70s aesthetic. And I'm finding myself going back, looking at those things,

Speaker 3 you know, now that I have.

Speaker 3 okay, I'll tell you, underrated, learning how to drive, ride a fucking

Speaker 3 Harley-Davidson with the ferring. Once you ride one of those big ones, every other bike becomes a possibility.
Now, I'm not talking about like those ones, you know,

Speaker 3 where people get on and dress like Speed Racer and go like 200 miles an hour in third gear. I'm not talking about those things, those ninjas and all.
I'm not talking about that shit.

Speaker 3 I just mean everything else that is sort of like

Speaker 3 what would you say? What would the word be? The word would be sort of user, more user-friendly, more chill, or whatever.

Speaker 3 I've gotten really into those things like old Ducatis and

Speaker 3 I don't know. They're just like fascinating.
And then also it just seems like

Speaker 3 if I had any sort of mechanical like inclination, not inclination, skills, like the engine is just like one of the cool things about a motorcycle is the fucking engine is right there.

Speaker 3 I guess you got to take all this shit off on top, but like compared to a car was under the hood, lifting out the hood, trying to fucking peek around, and it was just so goddamn intimidating.

Speaker 3 This shit, it's like, it's like sitting right there in front of you. I know it's like not as simple as that, but in my simple head, it is.

Speaker 3 Anyway, I'm getting ready to get the fuck out of here. Gonna go back east, do this play,

Speaker 3 and I'm gonna try to figure out how I can do stand-up during the time when I'm I'm doing it, going around doing spots. And I'm excited to,

Speaker 1 after

Speaker 3 I do the play, is to do a little tour, you know,

Speaker 3 like that one I did right before the holidays where I went through the Central Valley and I went to all of these places that I had never been to before. So I'm kind of into

Speaker 3 doing that on this tour. I want to go to a lot of places I either have never been to or haven't been to in a while.
So it should be fun, but it's kind of crazy.

Speaker 3 The only date I have on the books right now is Abu Dhabi in July,

Speaker 3 which would be right after the play. So I got to make sure, you know,

Speaker 3 the act doesn't get too dusty. But this is all good problems to have.
I want to thank everybody that

Speaker 3 has already bought tickets to go see Glenn Gary, Glenn Ross. I want to thank everybody that has bought tickets to the Wiltern on the 27th.

Speaker 3 I get to work with the great Shane Gillis. I've never co-headlined with him before, so it's exciting.

Speaker 3 We're doing our part to try to help whoever we can with the money raised from this and how quickly it's sold out is, you know, it's a testament to all the great people out here in LA.

Speaker 3 So from the bottom of my heart, I really appreciate

Speaker 3 you guys coming down to the Wiltern. And

Speaker 3 Shane always brings it, and I plan on bringing it too. And it's going to be a positive thing as we try to figure out how the hell to get out of this.
Alright? Alright. Well, that's it.

Speaker 3 Enjoy the sports this weekend. Enjoy the people in your life.

Speaker 1 Alright?

Speaker 3 Don't let them divide you.

Speaker 3 Just fucking, you know, listen to people's theories. You don't have to argue with them.

Speaker 3 You know, we should just bring back hugging.

Speaker 3 Somebody says something you don't understand, just be like, oh, just give them a big hug. It would just diffuse everything.
It's so fucking silly.

Speaker 3 Or you do it to the wrong person, you get stabbed in the abdomen. But that's where the excitement comes.
All right, that's it. Go fuck yourselves.

Speaker 3 We have a bonus episode of the Thursday afternoon, just before Friday, Monday morning podcast.

Speaker 3 Sending out love to all you guys. Look at me, being all fucking mushroom-y, post-mushroom trip guy.
All right, I'll see you.

Speaker 3 Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for January 23rd, 2017. What's going on? How are you?

Speaker 3 Oh, man, what a weekend. Holy Toledo.
Holy Dayton.

Speaker 3 Holy Sydney.

Speaker 3 Holy Cincinnati. Holy Cleveland.
What a fucking weekend I had. Good Lord.
First of all,

Speaker 3 I sat there with an Afghan and some Kleenex and watched the entire women's march.

Speaker 3 And I have to say, I was so moved. No, I'll be honest with you, I haven't watched the second of it.

Speaker 3 And the only reason why I'm bringing it up is because, like, 50,000 people on Twitter are like, dude, I can't wait to hear your take on the women's march. I didn't fucking watch it.

Speaker 3 I cannot, I can't, I, I, did I ever tell you guys how much

Speaker 3 I believe in protesting, but how much I cannot watch it?

Speaker 3 I'm always let down. I'm always disappointed.
It's always just a bunch of bad chance. Like, I watched the Madonna speech thing.
I did do that.

Speaker 3 Just because I, you know, I relate to Madonna.

Speaker 3 Like her, I also stayed at the party too long.

Speaker 3 You know, I became the old creepy person still at the club. I did it.

Speaker 1 I've done it.

Speaker 3 I totally get it.

Speaker 3 She's fucking brilliant, man. She goes there, right?

Speaker 3 She knows she has all these eyeballs on her. So she's done this her entire career.
This is how you stay relevant.

Speaker 1 All right? Long after

Speaker 3 people give a fuck. This is how you stay in this.
She goes in there. She just doesn't give a speech.
I mean, how easy would it have been to give the speech without dropping the F-word?

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 3 But if you do that, you're not going to get any free press. So she throws a couple of F-bombs in there.
God knows I know how that works.

Speaker 3 I made a lot of money off that word. Good for you, Madge, right?

Speaker 3 But that's not going to be enough because she's thinking probably in her head, you know, I already kind of did the dropping the F-bomb thing on the Letterman interview like 20 years ago.

Speaker 3 Critics will be like, oh, more of the same from Madonna, blah, blah, blah. I need to take this to a new level.
What does she do? Threatens to blow up the White House.

Speaker 3 You know, I thought about blowing up the White House. Did you? Did you really think that? You thought about doing that, Madonna.

Speaker 3 How did you think? Exactly, how were you going to execute this plan?

Speaker 3 Were you going to put on a wily coyote suit and fucking climb the fence?

Speaker 3 With your little thing of dynamite going around, you know, and you're backing up with the fucking wire?

Speaker 3 Madonna, who I thought of, did you? You didn't think about that.

Speaker 3 You just know if you say some shit like that, it becomes an issue of national security no matter who the fuck says it. So there you go.

Speaker 3 Now you get Fox News going like, should we consider this a terrorist threat?

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 Classic.

Speaker 3 And then what does she do? What is the cherry on top?

Speaker 3 She sings one of her hit songs

Speaker 1 in front of all those women.

Speaker 3 How much fucking money do you think she made?

Speaker 3 Are you with me?

Speaker 3 Do you believe in love?

Speaker 3 This was off my fourth album.

Speaker 3 I believe I first debuted it on the Blonde Ambition tour. It goes a little something like this.

Speaker 3 Give me a dollar, baby.

Speaker 3 You can download this song. iTunes, you know, you know.
Give me a fucking break. Fucking everybody up there with their fucking,

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 I couldn't watch it. Like, I had to watch some Madonna thing because when I heard she did that, I was like, this woman, she's fucking brilliant.

Speaker 3 That woman is, she is showbiz 24-7. That's why she's still around.

Speaker 3 She did that.

Speaker 3 She should have got booed when she started singing that song. People should have been like, is this bitch fucking

Speaker 3 trying to get 99 cents off of me?

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 But that's the only thing I watched. It was like five minutes.
Well, actually, I watched her speech, and then I was like, well, I got to hear the song she sings. And it was

Speaker 3 fucking perfect, man. You know, I love that she sang the Lady Gaga song.

Speaker 3 Anyways,

Speaker 3 and of course, underneath all of those, there was like, you know, some 17-minute speech from Michael Moore.

Speaker 3 That shameless bastard out there trolling for pussy, you know, playing the I understand card.

Speaker 3 I really hate how he dresses like John Goodman when he was on Roseanne. You know, he's always walking around with his big, dumb, fucking, I just got done working on the

Speaker 3 assembling cars that fucking hat he wears.

Speaker 3 There's no fucking way. I can't sit through that fucking, I can't sit through any of it in this in the stupid chance and we're going to do this and we're going to do that.

Speaker 3 And you just want to be like, you're not, you're not.

Speaker 3 You're all going to go home. You're all going to get in 50,000 different fucking cars and that's going to be the end of it.

Speaker 3 You're all going to get to say that you were there and you put your fucking fist in the air. I know this is cynical as shit, but I mean, Trump did the same thing.
Did did he not?

Speaker 3 His acceptance speech, something else I barely saw any of. I just watched the clips.

Speaker 3 When it comes to

Speaker 3 like all of this type of shit, I just watched the highlights. Like, if you never watch sports and all you did was just watch Sports Center,

Speaker 3 you know what I mean? But you never watched the game. That's basically how I watched the shit.
Trump did the exact same thing.

Speaker 3 He's sitting up there going,

Speaker 4 these corrupt politicians, they're not there for you, they're there for themselves. Well, guess what?

Speaker 1 It stops now.

Speaker 3 How, Donald? How does it stop now?

Speaker 3 He sounded like a fucking some loud drunk in a bar.

Speaker 3 Dude, you know what I would do if I was running stuff?

Speaker 3 I kick them all up.

Speaker 3 Anybody takes a dime, they're fucking out of here. I mean, it sounded like he

Speaker 3 did he just rent the untouchables?

Speaker 3 It was like Kevin Costner's fucking speech in that movie. Like, you're the president.

Speaker 3 This is what I'm worried about, that guy.

Speaker 3 I'm worried about that guy because he thinks being president is like he just bought an old casino and he's going to go in and get all the people that were fucking, you know, loafing around.

Speaker 3 He's going to fire them and then replace them with. It's like you can't get rid of these.
How are you going to get rid of these people?

Speaker 3 How are you going to prove that they're doing what you're saying? You would have to expose them.

Speaker 1 All of them.

Speaker 3 Both the blue ties and the red ties, the red bras and the blue bras, right?

Speaker 3 They're all going to collectively get together and be like, this guy is going to make us all look like fucking scumbags.

Speaker 3 We're just not going to work with it. I mean, what he said,

Speaker 3 it was a bunch of shit. It's just,

Speaker 3 you're not going to do that. That's not how that town works.
You're not the boss. You can't go.
You're fired.

Speaker 3 You have to run shit by people.

Speaker 3 And then they're going to be cunts.

Speaker 3 Democrats are already going to be a cunt to you because you wear a red tie. And they're going to do the exact same shit the Republicans did to Obama.

Speaker 3 They're not going to work because you have a different color tie.

Speaker 3 You're going to come in and you're going to give some tough speech, you know? He should have been standing there holding like a piece of a two by four.

Speaker 3 You know, I don't know. It was like, it was very.

Speaker 3 You know, when you're watching a movie and you're enjoying a movie and then all of a sudden they just remind you that, oh, this is just a fucking movie, because you go, you know, that would never happen.

Speaker 3 That's what that speech looked like to me. But I didn't see it.
I didn't see that either. I just watched the highlights.

Speaker 3 So you're probably saying, well, Bill, why didn't you see anything this weekend?

Speaker 3 You know why? Because I had something a little more important in my life that happened.

Speaker 1 Okay?

Speaker 3 I had to watch the New England Patriots

Speaker 3 win the AFC Championship game. There was a battle this weekend, people.

Speaker 3 And I I don't mean women and people without voices standing in the rain wearing berets

Speaker 3 or a prisoner jumpsuit, whatever the fuck

Speaker 3 somebody was wearing on that thing. You know what's funny about Madonna's speech is the amount of people milling around in the background, not even listening.

Speaker 3 Smiling, you'd listen for a couple seconds, you'd throw your hand in the air, and then you just go fucking schmooze with somebody else. It was a big fucking Hollywood party.

Speaker 3 And I can say that that because I watched three minutes of it.

Speaker 3 There was another battle going on here, people.

Speaker 3 And this isn't that, but by the way, this isn't like an anti-Trump thing. This isn't an anti-woman thing.
It's just one of those things of like, what the fuck is everybody getting so excited about?

Speaker 3 Are you ready? I said, are you ready? And they're all going, yes. And it's like, for what? What are we doing?

Speaker 1 Where are we going?

Speaker 3 What's going to happen?

Speaker 1 We're going to walk.

Speaker 3 up there. We're going to chant some shit.
Okay. You think if they walked up, let's say they walked up to the White House, because I don't know where they went, let's say they all start chanting, okay?

Speaker 3 Donald Trump is in there, okay? First of all, me as a civilian,

Speaker 3 okay, I can go to a Best Buy and I can get a pair of those Bose noise-canceling headphones, and I can press a button, and I can't even hear a fucking jet engine

Speaker 1 that I'm on.

Speaker 3 Or the guy talking too loud on his cell phone. I can just press that fucking thing and it's over, okay? And I'm just a citizen.

Speaker 3 Can you imagine imagine the pair of Bose fucking headphones that you get handed when you become president?

Speaker 3 So you don't have to hear the chanting of the disenfranchised,

Speaker 1 right?

Speaker 3 I bet you can't even see them. You know, they fit right underneath this two-pay, not the toupee part, the part that's still real, the Ben Franklin part of his fucking hairdo, right?

Speaker 3 Probably just sticks them in his ear.

Speaker 3 You know, are the ladies there? He probably just sat there, right? Just with his binoculars on, you know, rubbing himself as he's looking out the window.

Speaker 3 I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 3 Oh, God, when did I become such a cynic? You know what? I don't know. I like to think it's life experience, but what are you going to do?

Speaker 1 When are we going to do it?

Speaker 3 What do we want? Woo! What's going to happen? Nothing.

Speaker 3 Because we all have to leave.

Speaker 1 We all gotta go to work tomorrow.

Speaker 3 We have to go to work, baby.

Speaker 3 You know what's funny about Madonna showing up to this one? It's like, don't you live in England? Why the fuck didn't you go to that rally?

Speaker 3 I wanted to blow up the fucking White House. Oh, yeah, can I see your passport, please? Did you go through customs first there, uh?

Speaker 3 Oh, Jesus. Just staying at the party, staying at the club too fucking long.

Speaker 3 What What I'm doing is I'm challenging the images of what is a set. No, you're not.
No, you're not. You're not.
You're not challenging anything.

Speaker 3 If she was a guy, she'd be that guy at the Christmas party who had a two-you know, those guys who put the tie around their head and it becomes like, you know, this is their big rebellion.

Speaker 3 Like, that's what she'd, she'd be that person with the fucking mantits.

Speaker 3 You know, saying wildly inappropriate things to some fucking intern.

Speaker 3 just walks into work on Monday and just has to not look at anybody, just close the door to his office and be like, oh, God,

Speaker 3 how long do I have to just feel the shame of my behavior last Saturday night?

Speaker 3 Anyways, there was another battle going on. It was the battle

Speaker 3 between the city of Boston and the city of Pittsburgh. I don't know, with all the screaming and yelling this fucking weekend,

Speaker 3 I don't know if anybody noticed that yesterday

Speaker 3 in the sporting world, the world that you can actually trust,

Speaker 3 where they do give a lot of speeches, a lot of locker room speeches, and everybody actually is on the same team, and then they all go out together and they try to achieve a goal.

Speaker 3 The Boston Bruins and the Pittsburgh Penguins played each other on the same day that the New England Patriots

Speaker 3 and the Pittsburgh Steelers played. Now, I know if you're not from this country, or if you're just a country, you can be like, well, I mean, it's really the Boston is the Bruins, not the Patriots.

Speaker 3 Do you guys know why the Patriots call the New England Patriots? This is really actually a sad tale about this team. We were the Boston Patriots initially.

Speaker 3 And what ended up happening was

Speaker 3 because they were in the AFL and it was an upstart league

Speaker 3 and all the talent, a lot of talent was in the NFL, nobody really gave a fuck.

Speaker 3 So in an effort to try to get more fans, they switched from Boston.

Speaker 3 They thought if they said New England, they could get enough people trickling down from Maine, New Hampshire, Vermont, up from Connecticut and Rhode Island

Speaker 3 to maybe fill up a little bit of Fenway fucking park, wherever they played, Nickerson Field,

Speaker 3 all these places where they played. That's the reason why.
So, anyways,

Speaker 3 so the first game.

Speaker 3 The Bruins come out, right?

Speaker 3 And they play Pittsburgh. And for half the game, we were doing all right.
You know?

Speaker 3 After half the game, it was fucking two to one.

Speaker 3 And then I don't know what happened.

Speaker 3 I don't even know what happened. I didn't see the game.
I was,

Speaker 3 you know, doing some other shit, but I was watching it on my phone. It was like two to one.
I'm like, all right, they're hanging in there. They're hanging in there.

Speaker 3 And then I fucking, I don't know, I felt like I walked around for 20 minutes. I looked back at my phone.
It was like five to one.

Speaker 3 We got fucking smoked. So,

Speaker 3 you know, people giving me shit on Twitter, going, ah, that's one. Same thing's going to happen to you, Patriots.
And I got to be honest with you, I had no

Speaker 3 feeling one way or the other about that game yesterday as far as like, you know, what do you think's going to happen? I had no fucking idea.

Speaker 3 Nothing was going to surprise me.

Speaker 3 If the Steelers came in and beat us, it wasn't going to surprise me.

Speaker 3 After the way, you know, we just looked bad against the Texans and I was not, you know,

Speaker 3 didn't have too much confidence in our offensive line.

Speaker 3 And I know Pittsburgh always has like a great defensive line and that type of shit so I didn't know what the fuck was going to happen so I was very surprised at

Speaker 3 you know how well everything worked yesterday and it was just fucking amazing and I was sitting there watching the game on this hospital TV you know and the TV was so fucked up

Speaker 3 It was because,

Speaker 3 you know, that's fucking hospital TV, dude. Like it has like the, you know, like those waves they used to do when someone was going into like a fucking

Speaker 3 like a dream sequence. That's what it was.
That's what it was like. So I couldn't even tell what quarter it was or how much time was left.

Speaker 3 And thank God they kept saying what the fucking score was because I could barely see it.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 that's all I did. I just was in the hospital and I was just fucking watching football games.
On this fucking TV that just had like these lines. They weren't doing like the wavy thing.

Speaker 3 They were just sort of,

Speaker 3 you know, just going from left to right. We just, and they just kept fucking going.
I couldn't see what was going on. So,

Speaker 3 but fortunately, I was sitting there and I watched the game with my brand new baby daughter laying on my chest for the whole game.

Speaker 3 It was one of the fucking greatest, arguably the greatest moment of my life. Did I mention that?

Speaker 3 Did I forget to bring that up? That old fucking Billy the Kidless is finally your father?

Speaker 3 Yeah, my wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. She's perfect.
She's absolutely gorgeous. And I'll spare you all the cliches,

Speaker 3 you know, that everybody says.

Speaker 3 Because one thing I really did learn throughout this whole process,

Speaker 3 which is really as the guy, you're observing this amazing thing,

Speaker 3 is that,

Speaker 3 you know, just don't tell too many fucking people. That's all I can tell you.
You know, I know I said it on the fucking podcast, but I don't run into you guys.

Speaker 3 I mean, in your life, don't tell too many people you're having a fucking kid because I swear to God, the amount of misinformation, or even if it's good information, it's like a lot of people don't know how to fucking convey information in a compelling way.

Speaker 3 So you're just sitting there just smiling, thinking, when is this going to be over?

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 yeah, people will fucking,

Speaker 3 it's so nuts.

Speaker 3 Whatever they went through, they tell you that that's what you're going to go through.

Speaker 3 So you end up going in there and you have everybody else's experience in your fucking head swimming around when the reality is,

Speaker 3 this is not their experience, it's your experience. And however you react, whatever you do, whatever you think, and all that is fine.
It's your fucking experience.

Speaker 3 Because I was sitting there almost having like an outer body experience thinking, like, why aren't I feeling this? Why am I feeling this instead of that?

Speaker 3 I thought I was going to feel this, and blah, blah, blah. I was literally in my head

Speaker 3 for like fucking, I don't know, like 15 minutes.

Speaker 3 So, anyways,

Speaker 3 that was my fucking, that was my weekend. I I became a father, and I got to see the Patriots go to their unprecedented

Speaker 3 ninth Super Bowl.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 3 my wife and my beautiful daughter come home today.

Speaker 3 I have to do the Jimmy Kimmel show because I'm promoting my next stand-up special that comes out on Netflix on January 31st, taped at the Ryman Theater in Nashville, Tennessee.

Speaker 3 You know, which is home of the original Grand Ole Opry and legendary place.

Speaker 3 I got to play it a number of years ago when I did Vince Vaughan's Wild West Comedy Tour festival thing they have out there in Nashville.

Speaker 3 And of course, like every performer who goes there, you just fall in love with the place. It's just a magical place.
So I got to do my special there. And,

Speaker 3 you know, very proud of this one. And if you guys can get the word out and just let people know that

Speaker 3 I got a special coming out. It's on January 31st.
I don't know how the ratings work on Netflix. I don't know how it happened, but basically,

Speaker 3 people got to watch it. If you watch it, then it comes up on the thing where people can actually see it in the sea of like 20 million shows that they have on that

Speaker 3 worldwide network. So please tweet about it, Facebook about it, social media about it, and all that type of stuff.
And I hope you guys enjoy it.

Speaker 3 I'm really proud of this special. I love the way it came out and all that stuff.
So that's what I got going on. And my wife and daughter come home tonight.

Speaker 3 So that's it. This is the last time my house is going to be quiet.
But I've been having a great time so far. I got my fucking diaper changing thing down.

Speaker 3 My swaddle game is at, like, I'd say, you know,

Speaker 3 it's about at 80%.

Speaker 3 That's like the biggest fucking thing. I suck at burping.
I'm not good at that.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean? Because, I mean, there's only so hard you can go on a baby's back before you think, like,

Speaker 3 am I like beating a baby right now? I don't want to do this.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 um,

Speaker 3 anyways,

Speaker 3 anyways, oh, I forgot this too. I gotta say, my apologies once again.

Speaker 3 Two weeks in a row to the Atlanta Falcons. I'm sorry,

Speaker 5 so sorry

Speaker 3 that I doubted many eyes.

Speaker 3 Jesus Christ, the Atlanta Falcons look like fucking world beaters. I have been converted.
In two short weeks, I went from, isn't this the fucking team that had to pump in crowd noise

Speaker 3 because it was so quiet at their fucking stadium? Didn't they have to do that a couple years ago?

Speaker 3 Didn't they get caught doing that and everybody laughed because it wasn't the New England Patriots cheating? So that it wasn't a big federal offense. Didn't that happen?

Speaker 3 Isn't that the franchise we're talking about here where they got some little slap on the fucking wrist where the Patriots would have got $12 zillion in fucking fines and lost like a bunch of first-round draft picks?

Speaker 3 Nah, nah, nah. It's okay.

Speaker 1 It's okay.

Speaker 3 We got a little upset for a second because we saw a little red in the uniform. Oh, that's not the Patriots.
So then it's just sort of funny. Isn't that this franchise?

Speaker 3 Now look at the place. The place is packed.
The place is packed. Everybody's loud.
And I got to tell you something right now. 80% of the people in that fucking stadium should have been

Speaker 3 hanging their fucking heads in shame. Because where were you?

Speaker 3 Where were you when they were bad?

Speaker 1 Huh?

Speaker 3 You know where you were, you goddamn Georgia fans. You can't even show up to the Braves when they make the fucking playoffs.
You can't even sell out your fucking stadium.

Speaker 3 I don't get Atlanta when it comes to that type of shit. I don't get it.
Like, they just, they are not a pro-city fucking town. They've lost two hockey teams.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean? Twice divorced.

Speaker 3 They had the Atlanta Flames.

Speaker 3 Right? Wasn't enough to have Barbie Orr and all these great guys from the 70s coming to their town. They didn't give a shit.

Speaker 3 They were down the street, right? Between them hedges. Hey, we watching some fucking college football.
That's what the fuck they were doing. And what did the NHL say?

Speaker 1 All right, well,

Speaker 1 what were we thinking?

Speaker 3 Let's get the fuck out of here. And they went to Calgary and became the Calgary Flames, right?

Speaker 3 And then, for whatever reasons, because they're the NHL,

Speaker 3 you know, because they're stubborn, god damn it, we're going to put another team in there 20 fucking years later. Here you go.

Speaker 3 The Atlanta Thrashers, which I've never done, I didn't know what the fuck that is. Thrashers.
When I hear about thrashing, I just picture somebody shaking their kid. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 And you're sitting there in the car next to him in the parking lot going, at what point do I intervene?

Speaker 3 That should have been their logo, right?

Speaker 3 Some adult shaking a toddler. I know that's a bad image, but it's a tough game.
It's a tough fucking game.

Speaker 3 And what happened? You didn't show up to those either. So they fucking moved them to Winnipeg.

Speaker 3 I'm just fucking with you guys.

Speaker 3 And now all of a sudden, now they're great, and everybody shows up, you know, everybody's fucking pointing to the hat, everybody's, you know, fucking doing that millennial thing

Speaker 3 when your team's doing well, and you start fucking vigorously nodding and turning around at the rest of the crowd, oh, that one drives me up the fucking wall. The nodding thing.

Speaker 3 I think that's sign language for all day.

Speaker 3 Anyways, but Jesus Christ, that fucking team, if there's any justice in the world, they're going to go in as Super Bowl favorites, but they're not.

Speaker 3 And what's great is they're going to be able to

Speaker 3 use that as,

Speaker 3 you know, whatever, whatever they say, to get them hype. They don't believe in us and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
It's not going to be disrespect to the Falcons.

Speaker 3 What it is, is when the Super Bowl comes around, is when a bunch of people who don't watch sports show up, and they're going to show up and be like, who's playing in the game?

Speaker 3 Oh, Tom Brady, the Patriots. I know who this team is.
The Falcons,

Speaker 3 are they from Tennessee?

Speaker 3 Like, people who don't know sports will know the Patriots and they'll just throw $100 in the game and they'll put it on the Patriots because that's the fucking team they know, which affects the line because Vegas tries to get money on both sides of the ball.

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 3 that's what's going to end up happening. That's why, back with that year, when the Patriots lost to the Giants, which won? The first time

Speaker 3 when we were undefeated. That's why we were 17 fucking point favorites.
Not because we were 17-point favorites.

Speaker 3 It's because every mouth-breathing dumb cunt that went to Vegas put money on the undefeated team and they were trying to get money on the

Speaker 3 other side of the ball. And if you don't fucking believe me, a month earlier we played the Giants.

Speaker 3 We won on like at the last drive, the last second, and we led up like 33 fucking points and won by like three or four.

Speaker 3 How a month later you become a 17-point favorite to a team a month earlier you played and only won by four points. If you can figure out the fucking math on that one, it's beyond me.
So

Speaker 3 I'm predicting that the Patriots are going to go in. They're going to be considered the favorites.

Speaker 3 but they're not. I think the Falcons are the favorites, and I think this is their year.
I think they're a team of destiny. Okay?

Speaker 3 Now, people who are into superstition know exactly what I'm doing because you're thinking, hey, Bill, you're a Patriots fan. How the fuck would you, how the hell could you ever say that?

Speaker 3 I got a system here, people.

Speaker 3 When the Falcons played Seattle, I said Seattle was going to win. And who won? Those dirty birds of Georgia.
Dirty, filthy, inbred fucking birds in Atlanta, right?

Speaker 3 Down low birds

Speaker 3 of Atlanta, Georgia, right? Then last week, they go to play Aaron fucking Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers. And what did I say? Ah, you know, I had a little more respect.

Speaker 3 I'm going to go with the Green Bay Packers.

Speaker 3 And what do those dirty, stinking, filthy fucking birds do?

Speaker 3 They went in there and Green Bay got their asses whipped

Speaker 3 by those glorified pigeons, right?

Speaker 3 By those fucking seagulls, by those filthy, dirty birds. That's how much fucking goes on in Atlanta.
You know what I mean? Even their logo has a fucking STD, right? I'm sorry, that was a bad joke.

Speaker 3 Anyways,

Speaker 3 so I've picked against them two times, and both times the Falcons win. So now they're playing my team in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 3 So, here's my philosophy. Now, I'm going to pick Atlanta.
And I'm going to say that they're going to win.

Speaker 3 I got to be honest with you. If Atlanta's getting points, you're out of your mind not to fucking take it, I think, personally.
Their fucking defense is unbelievable.

Speaker 3 That fucking Julio Jones is like, I don't even, like, he doesn't even look like...

Speaker 3 He looks like

Speaker 3 he looks like a full-grown adult playing with like high school kids. That fucking pass he caught and he just started shredding tacklers.

Speaker 3 And then that last guy gave him like two or three stiff arms like a jab. Get the fuck out of my face.
Go fuck yourself right there fred touchdown

Speaker 3 um that guy's a major fucking problem their running back is a major fucking problem um obviously maddie ice looking like the mvp of the fucking league they got the three-headed monster thing going on offense and their defense i don't know anybody's fucking name all i know is they're flying around the field

Speaker 3 fucking up every team that i think is going to beat them so

Speaker 3 If they're going to get points,

Speaker 3 that's a pretty good bet, if you ask me. So we'll seek.
We'll see what happens. You know what Belichick's going to do?

Speaker 3 He's going to double fucking Julio Jones and he's going to try to fucking do this and all that shit. I have no fucking idea what's going to happen.
I have no idea.

Speaker 3 I've been busy and I'm so happy that my wife is no longer pregnant.

Speaker 3 You know, other dads out there know what it's like in that final fucking...

Speaker 3 The final fucking month is just so brutal where it's just like they are so uncomfortable and there's literally nothing you can do.

Speaker 3 One of the most helpless feelings I've ever had. And

Speaker 3 I'm just so happy that now she's on the other side of that. And I was as thrilled for her as I was for myself becoming a dad, just that

Speaker 3 that was over.

Speaker 3 So,

Speaker 3 Jesus Christ, I already knew my wife was tough, considering the amount of, like, I lose most fucking arguments to her because she just,

Speaker 3 but watching her go through what the fuck she went through, Jesus Christ, whole level, new level of

Speaker 3 respect for her toughness. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 Like, my wife, what she went through, could literally watch like a UFC event and be like, yeah, these guys are pussies.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 3 anyways,

Speaker 3 I got to read some fucking advertising here, don't I? I'm sitting here running my yap.

Speaker 3 All right, all right, where are we going here?

Speaker 1 Where are we going?

Speaker 3 Type in my password. Sorry.

Speaker 3 There we go. All right, let's get to the.
Oh, here we go. Oh, Jesus Christ.

Speaker 3 Oh, you know what? I forgot to bring up, by the way, remind me, I'm going to talk to you about this move that Aaron Rodgers does as a QB. I didn't see him do it all day yesterday.

Speaker 3 I got to talk about it because I might forget. He's got this fucking move.

Speaker 3 It's brilliant, right?

Speaker 3 When they do like a seven-step drop, right?

Speaker 3 People rushing in from either side and the tackles

Speaker 3 are blocking them. And you see that they're going to get around him on the outside.

Speaker 3 And Aaron Rodgers has just gone far back enough where that's the line to sack him. So the move all quarterbacks do in that moment is they then step back up into the pocket.

Speaker 3 So those guys, you know,

Speaker 3 basically they go around the outside or have to try to go to the inside and then they're back in front of the tackle.

Speaker 3 Okay, but you know, sometimes they still break through. What he does is he starts to step up and he gets between the tackles.

Speaker 3 So then those guys who are rushing to the outside then try to make a move to go to the inside.

Speaker 3 And then he immediately, the second they both commit to go back inside, he pops back to the fucking outside. And he actually, with that movement,

Speaker 3 has his tackles lined up with their men. It's fucking amazing.
He does it all the fucking time. And, you know, just watching Tom Brady.
Jesus Christ. Did you see that first sack the Steeler had?

Speaker 3 Where, like, I swear to God, it was like Tom, the batteries, if he was like a robot, they shorted out for half a second. He just didn't see the guy, and then he kind of did like,

Speaker 3 his whole body kind of freaked out. Then he spun around and laid down.

Speaker 3 He looked like a deer in headlights on that one. He's just not the most mobile fucking guy in the world, but everybody knows that.
So,

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 3 That move is the shit. And here's something I don't understand.

Speaker 3 That no wide receiver ever does. You know when they do like a fucking reverse, double reverse or whatever? And you know when the defense is stringing it out and it's not going to work.

Speaker 3 You can see it's not going to work. You know, and it's just dying a slow death.
I don't mean when it doesn't work and the receiver gets the right there, Fred. Obviously, tuck the ball away.

Speaker 3 But how come when it's dying a slow death, why do they start doing this OJ fucking dancing around shit?

Speaker 3 Why don't they just throw the ball away for an incomplete rather than taking the fucking five to seven yard loss? Has anybody ever seen anybody do that?

Speaker 3 That's my football question for this week. Has anybody seen a wide receiver on a reverse and it wasn't fucking working out of fucking nowhere?

Speaker 3 Wait, has anybody seen a wide receiver?

Speaker 3 Just basically do that play, is all I'm asking. For the love of God, can somebody fucking tell me that they've seen that?

Speaker 3 I don't understand why they don't do that. Why the fuck would you do that? Then you don't get hit.

Speaker 3 You don't lose a bunch of yards. Bill, we get it.

Speaker 1 All right. All right.

Speaker 3 Let me read the advertising here for this week. All right.
Oh, shit, everybody hey did i tell you guys i tried to make some beef brajol the other day um

Speaker 3 that's not a fucking easy thing to do i don't know did i tell you i can't remember if i told you that on thursday i think i did i did i finally figured it out my recipe you got to slow cook it for 90 minutes not 60 minutes or i have to learn how to tenderize meat a little bit better I need to learn how to beat the meat a little.

Speaker 3 You get it? A little jerk up, joke there. Sorry.
All right, let's.

Speaker 3 Did I talk about everything I wanted to talk about in the podcast? I believe I did.

Speaker 3 I believe I did.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 3 you know, it's fucking hilarious. Is my wife keeps telling me to go to the firehouse to make sure, the fire station, to make sure that the

Speaker 3 kid's seat is put in correctly,

Speaker 3 which I think it is. I mean, I fucking think a bunch of, you know, I tried to rip it out.
I couldn't rip it out. You know what I mean?

Speaker 3 And I think my fucking arms are just as strong as a two-car accident, right?

Speaker 3 So

Speaker 1 I've gone over to the firehouse twice.

Speaker 3 the one in my neighborhood i've been over there two fucking times every time i've ever gone by that fucking firehouse the trucks are there somebody else is fucking washing it

Speaker 3 every time i go by the house the fucking firehouse nobody's there trucks are gone i'm ringing the doorbell and there's nobody there

Speaker 3 and i'm sitting there thinking well maybe at least the guy who makes the fucking chili he doesn't hang back The second time I went there, the fucking TV was on.

Speaker 3 So,

Speaker 3 I don't know. I've been driving around in my my wife's car, which I didn't like at first.
You know, all these fucking cars, they're shaped like dinner rolls. They all look the exact fucking same.

Speaker 3 And, but now I actually kind of like it. You know, took me a minute.
You know, it's a fucking Broads car. What are you going to do?

Speaker 3 Anyways, let me read some of the

Speaker 3 questions for this week. Did I fucking copy and paste them? Did I at least do that? For the love of Christ?

Speaker 3 No, I didn't. Of course not.
Why would you do that, Bill? If you did something like that, then that would mean that you were actually fucking paying attention.

Speaker 3 All right, let's just read them from here. Okay, weight loss/slash fat shaming.
Hey there, Billy Bassinet. I actually know what a bassinet is now.

Speaker 3 Congrats on pregnancy. And you and the lovely Neela will make pretty good parents.
That's hilarious. I'm emailing you because I wanted to thank you and Joe Rogan for all of your shit.

Speaker 3 It enabled me to lose 120 pounds. That's a whole person.
I started back in November of 2015. Dude, that's amazing.
And I've kept it off and continued to get to my goal of 220 pounds.

Speaker 3 I was 357 when I started.

Speaker 3 He goes, that's a fucking plane.

Speaker 3 I think it's a gun, isn't it? 357 Magnum.

Speaker 3 Anyway, thanks for

Speaker 3 the shame and motivation, you freckled cunt. Good luck and best wishes to you and your growing family in 2017 in the coming years.
Oh, and by the way, go fuck yourself in the best way possible.

Speaker 3 Think stranger.

Speaker 3 You know what that means.

Speaker 3 Anyways, oh, dude, that's great. I could use some advice because I've been

Speaker 3 during the last few weeks, I should really say like the last two months of Nia's ordeal is what I'm going to call it, because it was not a like pregnancy is a fucking ordeal.

Speaker 3 You're sick the first fucking third, and then there's this, you know, eye of the storm the second trimester. And then the third, it's just like, it's fucking horrible you know

Speaker 3 if you don't have any sympathy for your wife during a pregnancy you're not in love with her you fucking married the wrong person i could tell you that so anyways um

Speaker 3 anyways yeah i've been i put on some i put on a little bit of weight nothing nothing too crazy i kept hitting the fucking elliptical but i just kept making comfort food um

Speaker 3 and then what would happen was you know she'd eat a little bit of it sort of like it

Speaker 3 And then all of a sudden would just be totally, for whatever reason, hormonally, would be totally turned off by it like the next fucking day.

Speaker 3 And I made enough for two people, and I'm not going to throw it out. You know what I mean? So I got to fucking, I got to finish it.
You know, I ate almost a whole shepherd's pie myself.

Speaker 3 This beef brajol,

Speaker 3 it was too heavy, she couldn't deal with it. So,

Speaker 3 you know, you're supposed to have red meat a couple times a month. I've had it four times this week.

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 3 but you know what? I finished the day with a salad.

Speaker 3 I never make myself salads either.

Speaker 3 I just never know what the fuck to put in them.

Speaker 3 You know what I mean? I finally just started with basics, right? I go to the grocery store. This is what I've been doing lately.
It's been working for me.

Speaker 3 As I go there and I get that pre-washed fucking lettuce that they have in there, you know, because

Speaker 3 you know basically what happened. A few people had to die by unwashed fucking lettuce.
Now they wash it up for us. So you get that shit.

Speaker 3 I get three different colored peppers, green, red, and the orange, right? I cut those fucking things up, cut up some cucumbers,

Speaker 1 throw all of that in a bowl.

Speaker 3 Then I got some tomatoes on the vine in a bowl outside the fridge, and a little Parmesan cheese. And then I just have everything all chopped up and ready to go.

Speaker 3 Pre-shredded fucking Parmesan and all that.

Speaker 3 So then at night, when I get hungry before I do something stupid, I just make a quick fucking salad, a little bit of the Paul Newman's fucking balsamic vinaigrette on it.

Speaker 3 I make a face like, I don't want to fucking eat this. And then a couple bites in, you're into it.
It's over. You get it going.
It's like trying to fucking write a term paper back in the day.

Speaker 3 You kept putting it off, putting it off, and then when you finally sat down, you just fucking did it. Same thing with eating a salad.
I try to do that.

Speaker 3 You know, if I'm going to eat past like seven o'clock,

Speaker 3 I try to have that, and then I have like a scotch.

Speaker 3 It's the Ron Burgundy

Speaker 3 diet or whatever.

Speaker 3 All right. Work meeting.

Speaker 3 Dear Billy Red Tank, that's a new one. The cunts I work with

Speaker 3 have tasked me to share an inspirational quote or poem during our bi-monthly team meeting. Sorry.

Speaker 3 Cunts I work with have asked me to share an inspirational quote or poem during our bi-monthly team meeting.

Speaker 1 Oh my God.

Speaker 3 Well, if there's ever a sign, you got to quit this fucking job. Personally, I'd rather tell them to go fuck themselves, but since this would be frowned upon, I find myself in need of your expertise.

Speaker 3 Do you have any inspirational quotes that you can share with me so that I can keep pretending that I'm not dead inside?

Speaker 3 Dude, you're not dead inside. What you are is you're an intelligent human being who knows that this is silly and you're sick of being treated like a fucking child.

Speaker 3 This is like some shit that, like, when I was still in school, you know, and I just sit there with my hands folded on my desk.

Speaker 3 Dude, I swear to God, the corporate world is so fucking cold and so out of touch with how human beings even fucking work. Or they totally understand it, and this is how they just break your spirit.

Speaker 3 You know what it is? Is you probably, you guys have these mind-numbingly boring fucking jobs,

Speaker 1 right?

Speaker 3 They probably don't pay you enough money for you to be fucking excited by it. So now what they're going to try to do is have you,

Speaker 3 you know,

Speaker 3 go out and they won't even do it for you. They won't even come up with like a fucking, you know,

Speaker 3 their own like little, you know, like the Raiders, just win, baby. You know what I mean? The Cubs, let's play two.
They can't even come up with their own. This is this is their fucking job.

Speaker 3 Well, look, you know what you have to do, but what I would love for you to do is write your own fucking poem where it all rhymes and you just trash in this thing. Whatever the fuck this exercise is.

Speaker 3 What rhymes with cunts?

Speaker 3 Let's see.

Speaker 3 One of the most exciting plays in baseball

Speaker 3 is when a speedy hitter lays down a bunt.

Speaker 3 I am dead inside. I don't like this job.

Speaker 3 And certainly not working with you, cunts.

Speaker 3 Consider this my last fucking day.

Speaker 3 Don't worry, I don't have a gun, but I would like to say, fuck all of you

Speaker 3 and your mothers too.

Speaker 3 Now I'm out of a job, I don't know what I'm gonna do. And then you just leave, go out and get drunk.

Speaker 1 I don't know what the fuck it's all right.

Speaker 3 Dog wins marathon. Hey, Billy, probably a dad.
I am. I'm a father now, which means I now get to fucking act like I know things that people who don't have kids know.
Don't know, or whatever.

Speaker 3 You know, they do that. Oh, you don't understand.
You don't understand to your baby's looking in your eyes. Shut up.
You didn't wear a condom. All right.
That is your fucking big.

Speaker 3 That's what you did. All right.
Stop acting like you walked on the moon.

Speaker 3 Oh, do you have a baby? Oh, my God. What is there? 12 billion of those fucking things?

Speaker 3 It's like saying you have a hat. All right.
Dog wins marathon. Hey, Billy, probably a dad.
Thought you liked this story.

Speaker 1 But it's my hat.

Speaker 3 Thought you liked this story. A dog left its house and started running a marathon and ran alongside runners and finished the whole thing.
He finished seventh. Congratulations.

Speaker 3 Get the fuck out of here. Now I have to watch this video.

Speaker 3 He ran the whole fucking...

Speaker 3 No, he didn't.

Speaker 1 Lou Devine.

Speaker 3 Lou Devine ran the entire 13.1 miles without a leash or human companion. Okay, first of all, 13.1 miles is not a marathon.

Speaker 3 Oh, half marathon. Sorry.
See how the misinformation starts? He fucking called it a marathon, and then I start blaming CNN.

Speaker 3 Dog wins marathon. He won half a marathon.
See, you already started the lie. Dog gives CPR after running a fucking marathon.

Speaker 3 Runners in Alabama may have bitten off more competition than they anticipated in a race earlier this month.

Speaker 3 All right, now it makes sense, because I was like, what kind of a fucking dog owner would leave his front door wide open and the goddamn thing just runs out and runs fucking 13 miles away?

Speaker 3 Oh, obviously somebody in Alabama.

Speaker 3 A dog finished in the top 10 in the Elkmont half marathon, the trackless train trek

Speaker 3 on January 16th and has been quite the internet sensation. What is a trackless train trek?

Speaker 3 There used to be train tracks there.

Speaker 3 Was this the Underground Railroad? Is this how the slaves got out of there?

Speaker 3 Yeah, you know, we let them, they escaped up this way, but we blocked it off. Now we just do a marathon.

Speaker 3 White people only marathon.

Speaker 1 I love the act like

Speaker 3 I do it too. Like, racist white people are only in the South.

Speaker 1 That's not true. We're everywhere.

Speaker 3 Ludvine, a bloodhound, lives nearby.

Speaker 1 A bloodhound.

Speaker 3 Oh, I fucking love those. That's not a bloodhound.

Speaker 3 Oh, yes, it is. But when it runs, its face is all flying backwards, so it looks like a fucking retriever.

Speaker 3 That's one of my favorite dogs ever. Ah, goddamn, it's making me miss my dog.
All right, let's plow through this. Bloodvine, a bloodhound lives near.

Speaker 3 By the way, update on Cleo is the new owner sent me a fucking picture, and it was up on the couch, sleeping like a baby, loving life.

Speaker 3 Probably doesn't even remember us because it's a dog, and it lives in the fucking present. And so that was good to see.
But when I saw it, I was like, oh, fuck.

Speaker 3 Anyways, she competed without a human or leash. Her owner doesn't even run.

Speaker 3 That's what makes the story. You know what? I don't like this story.

Speaker 3 I don't like this fire. I don't like this.
It's one of these just like, let's just go

Speaker 3 all together.

Speaker 3 There's a nice heartwarming story for everyone.

Speaker 3 All right, best man.

Speaker 3 Hey, Billy Bitch Tits. That's one of the most popular ones.
You guys always call me that. Billy Bitch Tits.
Is it the alliteration? I do push-ups. I don't have bitch tits yet.

Speaker 3 I recently proposed to my girlfriend. Congratulations.
And we're getting married in December. Congratulations.
And when my lady

Speaker 3 asked me who I wanted as my best man, I realized I wasn't close enough to anyone to ask them.

Speaker 3 I have friends and coworkers and family, but I'm not really close with them. Not enough to choose one best man anyway.
So with that, is this a fucking pitch for a Hollywood movie?

Speaker 3 Didn't Kevin Hart have to, didn't, is this a Kevin Hart movie? So, with that being said, what are the chances of you showing up and being my best man? If not, can you get me in touch with Joe Rogan?

Speaker 1 Thank you.

Speaker 3 Where's your wedding going to be at?

Speaker 3 If I got a gig,

Speaker 3 if I got a gig nearby, I'll fucking do it.

Speaker 3 I'll come down, whatever you need. Let me tell you something about

Speaker 3 something that a lot of people don't know about Larry.

Speaker 4 Okay?

Speaker 3 This guy,

Speaker 3 fucking, this guy listens to the Monday morning podcast. Start doing the Madonna thing.
I'll just start hyping my fucking podcast.

Speaker 3 That's what I'll do. I'm going to do the Madonna thing.
I'm going to wear a beret.

Speaker 3 I was like, you know, when I came here, I thought about blowing up this fucking reception area

Speaker 3 because I didn't like the cake.

Speaker 3 Why is the groom on the left? And not the people read from left to right. Why is it the lady first?

Speaker 1 Anyway, I don't know what the fuck

Speaker 3 what I do, I don't know, maybe I'd do that. I have no fucking idea.

Speaker 3 No, I'm not going to do it because then I have to go through the whole fucking ceremony. I got to present the ring and do all of that shit.
I don't want to fucking do that.

Speaker 3 I barely wanted to be at my wedding.

Speaker 3 Even though I had a great time. That's what I learned about myself too.
I swear to God, what I fucking learned about myself is the level of social anxiety that I have, that

Speaker 3 the amount of big moments in my life that if I could just fast forward through them and get on the other side of them, I would gladly do it to not.

Speaker 3 I mean, after I have the experience, I always think, like, well, what the fuck was I so,

Speaker 3 you know, anxious about?

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 I actually, you know,

Speaker 3 like my wedding was one of the best nights of my life. But like, you know, my wife went into labor and shit.

Speaker 3 You know, I'm driving her over there and everything. And,

Speaker 3 you know, there was that part of me was just going like, just thinking, like, I hope this is over as quickly as possible. And it was, wasn't, that was like a selfish thought.

Speaker 3 It had nothing to do with, like, I don't want my wife going through any more of this pain, which I definitely,

Speaker 3 that might have been the most emotional I got. Listening to her screaming in fucking pain was, that was fucking brutal.

Speaker 3 Anyways,

Speaker 3 but like, yeah, I had this feeling like if I could just

Speaker 3 like hit fast forward and just be on the other side of this thing,

Speaker 3 I would do it in a second. And

Speaker 3 I've thought about that like my entire fucking life. I've had, I've had, I never really realized I have this social anxiety with all of this shit.

Speaker 3 Like, I just want to get fucking through it, get on the other side. I'm on the other side.
I made it through. Nothing humiliating happened.
Now I can fucking relax. I felt like that for like the first

Speaker 3 probably nine years of every stand-up show that I did.

Speaker 3 Like the level of relief that I had after, like once I got on stage, I would be fine

Speaker 3 And then you're just doing your act and then even if you're bombing or whatever it's like it's the the clock has started and with every second It's closer the event is closer to being over, you know what I mean

Speaker 3 It's it's the waiting and not knowing that's that's what has always

Speaker 3 always fucking given me anxiety like the amount of stand-up shows that I've done and

Speaker 3 impossible situations that you go through as a comedian when you're coming up. For me, it was never,

Speaker 3 it was already over by the time I got on stage.

Speaker 3 Because now you just go out there and now you just deal with stuff.

Speaker 3 And, you know, you tell people to go fuck themselves, or you plow through, they get you, and you look stupid, and you feel like an asshole. But

Speaker 3 then you say goodnight, and then it's over. And then you could just fucking relax.

Speaker 3 But when you're standing there, for me, for me, when you're standing there at the side of the fucking stage waiting, or metaphorically,

Speaker 3 you know, going there I mean I don't know I can't believe this was one of the craziest fucking weekends of my life

Speaker 3 you know what I mean from the women's march to Donald Trump getting sworn in to the Patriots going to another fucking Super Bowl

Speaker 3 and becoming a dad was a hell of a hell of a four days I can tell you that and

Speaker 3 I don't know And I'm very thankful, to be honest with you, all jokes aside, that I finally got to have that experience of becoming a dad because it was getting to the point of like, I don't know if I'm going to

Speaker 3 get this experience. And it's weird.
I feel like I lived my youth straight into my golden years.

Speaker 3 And now I'm the middle part. I'm just doing it.
I was joking. I think I may even say this on podcasts.
I'm like living my life like a Tarantino movie where it's like completely out of sync.

Speaker 3 You know, John Travolta is walking by in the background. You know, the diner scene in pulp fiction, my ruining.

Speaker 3 Do I still have to say spoiler alert, even though that fucking movie came out like 22 years ago, 23 years ago?

Speaker 3 Anyways, that is the podcast for this week. Tune in to Jimmy Kimmel tonight.
And I don't know what I'm going to do. I don't know what I'm going to fucking talk about.

Speaker 3 All I know is I got the pre-interview coming up. What were some of the things you'd like to touch on?

Speaker 1 Huh?

Speaker 3 Well, can I do the cunt poem

Speaker 3 for my podcast? I don't think so.

Speaker 3 We shall see. We'll see how this one goes.
I'm very excited. I've never done the Jimmy Kimmel show.
And

Speaker 3 here's something. This is how cool that fucking guy is.
I I met him one time at,

Speaker 3 I think I was down at Lago, where I'm going to be, Bill Burr and Friends, on January 31st on La Cienega Boulevard, right down here in Hollywood. And he came down to the show to see somebody else.

Speaker 3 And I met him, and I started talking to him about how Bill Walsh wrote this book.

Speaker 3 You know, at the height of his, you know, just being like the Bill Belichick, Vince Lombardi guy of his era.

Speaker 3 He was approached to write a book on football and he wrote like

Speaker 3 he basically showed the outline and he had diagram plays and it was like you had to be a coach to understand the book

Speaker 3 and the the publisher or whatever the the company he was doing the book with was basically like going dude you gotta like

Speaker 3 we can't put this book out like you gotta be like a you gotta be like a football coach to even understand any of this shit.

Speaker 3 How about some pictures of you with Joe Montana? How about some family stories and blah, blah, blah. And he was just like, no, you want me to write a book about football? This is it right here.

Speaker 3 And he just fucking put out this thing. So the book bombed as far as not making money with just regular Joe's, like even myself, the amount of football that I watch.

Speaker 3 But amongst coaches, evidently, that book became like a Bible.

Speaker 3 And if you can find like a hardcover version, you find them on the internet. I think they go for like three, four hundred bucks or something like that.

Speaker 3 And

Speaker 3 whatever. I was telling Jimmy that story, and he was laughing.
He thought, you know, it was funny or whatever. And

Speaker 3 I was joking, going, you know, I want to actually get that book. Maybe I'll finally understand the cover two defense or whatever the fuck, the nickel defense, and that type of shit.

Speaker 3 So, sure enough, like fucking three weeks later, I get this package from Amazon. It was from him, and he actually bought me the book.
And I thumbed through it, dude. And I'm telling you, it's like

Speaker 3 you feel like you stole a team's playbook.

Speaker 3 So, anyways, so, but I've never been able to do his show. Every time I try to do his show, like something would come up.
So, this is my first time doing it. And so, tune in tonight.

Speaker 3 I'm hoping I'm going to go there and be able to repay him by being a little bit funny on his show. But once again, my new stand-up special, Walk Your Way Out, comes out January 31st on Netflix.

Speaker 3 Please tweet about it. Please let everybody know.
And

Speaker 3 that's it. Thank you for listening to the podcast.
I'll talk to you later. I'll talk to you.
I'll check in on you on Thursday. All right, see you.

Speaker 5 It's championship week. What's up, everybody? Welcome back to the Anything Better podcast NFL edition for championship week.
I'm Paul Versey. That's Bill Burr.
We got Andrew Themlis over there.

Speaker 5 We have, of course, Jake the Snake in an undisclosed

Speaker 5 location with our injury report.

Speaker 4 And we are going to tell people where he is. The ladies will find him.

Speaker 5 They'll knock his door down.

Speaker 5 Dude,

Speaker 5 the the Buffalo Bills beat the Ravens.

Speaker 5 The Rams, dude, the Rams. I thought they were going down and going to win that game.
And when Stanford threw it out of bounds, I was like, what are you going to do? Great games, though.

Speaker 5 Both of the games were good.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and I think, you know, they made too much of a thing about the Ravens. messing up.
They weren't giving the Bills defense enough credit.

Speaker 4 I mean, okay, that kid dropped the ball in the end, but like they were punching the ball out, stripping and doing all kinds of stuff. they were forcing turnovers

Speaker 4 so um

Speaker 4 you know we'll see i had uh i thought they were all good games other than like the casey game i literally had to shut it off dude the amount of just yeah cross promotion that was going on yeah so here's my theory so they cut to taylor swift and she's with some big female athlete yeah caitlin clark all right well here's the deal There's a conspiracy theory on the internet that feminism, as far as the part of feminism where to get women in the workforce, was done by the people that owned the banks because they could only tax half the population.

Speaker 4 So they kind of started, hey, you should get out there and work, right?

Speaker 4 So my conspiracy theory is big pharmaceuticals upset because only half the population gets CTE. So now they want to start promoting female sports.

Speaker 4 I mean, dude, the level of like how far in the background I felt the game was. And listen, you'd watch your Lakers game.

Speaker 4 They would cut to Diane Cannon or Jack Nicholson, but like the level that they have to do, it's so Swifties keep watching.

Speaker 4 I just felt, I was just like,

Speaker 4 you know, the Chiefs are trying to three-peat is way bigger than me looking at this, this musician in her. Oh, it was a good play.
Of course, she likes it.

Speaker 4 Yeah. She's dating the tight end.
I get it. How many fucking times? Oh, and she's with Caitlin Clark.
And Caitlin Clark, they just fucking

Speaker 4 and caitlin's holding a can of pepsi and pepsi babama but it's just like what the are we doing here well i got something for you bill

Speaker 5 your buddy pauly over here in new york i'm putting my money where my mouth is i think josh allen and the bills overcome the chiefs overcome taylor swift and overcome the officials and beat them this week

Speaker 4 Listen, is that AI or players really saying,

Speaker 4 at least former players are going like, yeah, man, this is ridiculous. And like Troy Aikman going, this is ridiculous.
No, it's not.

Speaker 4 I got to be honest with you, as a Patriots fan, I'm getting tired of, oh, they're the new Patriots. We never got the red carpet like that.
And also,

Speaker 4 you're forgetting Deflategate?

Speaker 4 Dude, Brady ML fucking hated us to the point he upheld the investigation of the independent investigation of the owner of the losing team. And then we beat him in court because it was such bullshit.

Speaker 4 And they found a loophole to still suspend our Patrick Mahomes for six games. When that fucking happens, dude, then you can say you're the new fucking Patriots.
That guy hated us. Hated us.

Speaker 5 Brady never got these calls. The only guy that I saw kind of have his way with officials like this was Jordan in like that heyday, that three year.
But this is, dude,

Speaker 5 ex-players are saying it.

Speaker 5 Analysts are saying it. Mad dog Chris Russo was going like, do it like you.
He goes, I can't take it anymore. I can't even watch him.
I can't watch him. And here's what sucks.

Speaker 4 the wrestling the officials did a great job all year except like except for them which sucks because they're like on their game but dude i think josh allen and the bills are going to beat him well i think they're better i called it it's the only storyline they had like they they these sports and i'm not shitting on the nfl all of these nhl doesn't do it at all because they're they've always just been a wild card but like the nba has storylines football has storylines baseball has storylines and that's what storylines is what keeps people come back, the soap opera of the thing.

Speaker 4 And they protect that thing at all fucking costs, especially if you only have one. Because if you take away, you know, Taylor Swift, Travis Kelsey, Patrick Mahomes, can the Chiefs repeat?

Speaker 4 If you take that away, it's a really weird time in the NFL right now where there's no,

Speaker 4 there's always like, who do you like better? Brady or Peyton? You know, Manning, who do you like better? Fucking,

Speaker 4 who was it back in the day? Oh, the Cowboys 49ers rivalry or Elway or Montana. They've always had that.
I keep saying this every week, but like it's getting so fucking overt.

Speaker 4 And then people are trying to be like, like, dragging the Patriots into that shit is so fucking ridiculous. It's like the NFL was against us.
That's how much they fucking hated us.

Speaker 5 Hey, I got a question for you. If Travis Kelsey was dating a dog show, but she was up there in the booth with the show.

Speaker 4 If she moved tickets,

Speaker 4 if she moved tickets, 100%.

Speaker 5 If it was Lizzo,

Speaker 4 dude if if it was somebody that was like you know annoying

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 4 everybody would watch just to hate if the person was annoying yeah

Speaker 4 yeah don't ever forget paul if they're annoying it's it's yeah it's annoying

Speaker 4 it is annoying and i have to be honest with you this is like

Speaker 4 Sports on two levels was an escape for men. It was an escape from the news, the reality of your job, and the pressure of having having to support your family.
And it was also an escape.

Speaker 4 You got away from the woman in your life. You hung out with the fellas, you fucking said whatever, and you had a good fucking time.
And that shit is over.

Speaker 4 Sports are now like, you know,

Speaker 4 they just,

Speaker 4 they bring everything. They got the fucking military flying over, you know, and that's money.
The NFL doesn't support the troops. They make money off of them.

Speaker 4 I'm so sick of them acting like they're aligned with the troops. You get paid every time you show one.

Speaker 5 Dude, I almost just went off on my wife when you said that. So I was going to say it's the wife's fault.
I'm not going to go there. She might hear me.

Speaker 5 But, dude, I will.

Speaker 5 I'm going to do something I normally don't do, Bill. I'm going to play devil's advocate here.
I'm going to be a contrarian, which you know isn't me. I'm an anti-contrarian, but

Speaker 5 I'm easy. I think you got to give, I think everybody's got to give the Chiefs a little credit here, dude, because he finds the open man a lot.
And like, Kelsey does get

Speaker 5 no, they're good, man.

Speaker 1 They're good.

Speaker 4 More people need to compliment Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 5 No, I'm just saying they're good. They are a good team.

Speaker 4 I'm not saying they're not a good team, Paul, but I got to be honest with you.

Speaker 4 What are we doing? They're in the fucking TSA pre-check line going down the field.

Speaker 5 They got clear and pre-checked.

Speaker 4 Dude, I can tell you right now,

Speaker 4 that fucking flop he did out of bounds, he should have got a three-game suspension for that.

Speaker 5 That was ridiculous.

Speaker 4 What the fuck was that? We went from Jack Lambert to that.

Speaker 5 100% right. 100% right.
And it was ridiculous. It was egregious.
But I think they're going. Andrew, can we get the lines for the Chiefs, Bills?

Speaker 5 I got to see the line here.

Speaker 4 Oh, they fucking decided this guy was going to be the next guy.

Speaker 3 They did.

Speaker 1 Okay?

Speaker 4 And I'm not saying he's not one of the best, if not the best, in the league right now. But, dude, is he Peyton Manning?

Speaker 5 The Chiefs are two-point favorites.

Speaker 1 Two-point favorites.

Speaker 4 I hate how that graphic came up and just my point just laid on the ground. Paul, is he Elway? Is he Montana? Is he as good as those guys?

Speaker 1 Are you seeing him? No.

Speaker 4 He have like some fucking Dan Marino level arm. No.
I'm just saying the amount of praise is just fucking insane.

Speaker 3 It is.

Speaker 5 It absolutely is.

Speaker 4 And Paul, it came early. I remember making fun of it.
One of his first Thursday night games, this announcement, about, I hope you're a Prince Back.

Speaker 4 And I'm going, like, they asked this kid's the next kid. How they are selling this kid this fucking hard because Brady's leaving and they're done.
They don't have anybody else.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 6 to your point about comparing Mahomes to those other quarterbacks, he's already won three Super Bowls. He has more Super Bowls than all those guys.
So it's like, it's hard to judge now.

Speaker 6 And he could get a fourth this year.

Speaker 4 I know, but dude,

Speaker 4 they're fucking just letting him go down the field, holding players.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's the thing.

Speaker 5 I got to be honest with you, too.

Speaker 4 I am so sick of that. Like, if he gets six championships, does that mean he's as good as Jordan?

Speaker 4 Michael Jordan, who changed the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 And here's the thing, dude. And I hate to keep bringing this up and sounding like a broken record and sounding like sour grapes.

Speaker 5 And people are going to say, Paul, it's because you bet on the 49ers last year.

Speaker 5 Dude, Nick Bosa would have sacked Patrick Mahomes three times in a row if he literally wasn't held by both shoulder pads three plays in a row to the point where everybody on the sidelines was just going like what's going on but that being said no wait wait no no not that being said Jake the Snape I'm gonna tell you what his this is manufactured

Speaker 1 this is manufactured

Speaker 4 the way the fucking Lakers were in fucking the 2000s oh my god Jordan's leaving What do we have? We have no storyline. And all of a sudden, the Lakers, oh, my God, Shaq's going there.

Speaker 4 Kobe's going there. Phil Phil Jackson's going there.
None of them were Lakers. That was the Charlotte Hornet and Orlando Magic and the coach of the fucking Bulls.
And they needed a storyline.

Speaker 4 I'm not saying he wouldn't have won championships or anything, but this dude, this shit, they're in a fucking limousine.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 6 No, they are.

Speaker 6 Comparing him to the Patriots,

Speaker 6 there was a stat that Brady got 38 roughing the passer calls in his career. And I think Mahomes also has 38, but Mahomes obviously has played half the years.

Speaker 1 So, I mean, it's just proof right

Speaker 4 yes and what they learned with baseball what happened to baseball was all the records were like from you know and insideshow billy had 400 rbis and 1902 right and it was like it was just a game of of the past and they needed to update it so they juiced up the ball they made the stadium smaller and they looked the other way when these guys got roided up and then all of those records fell and i think everybody like was like well we don't want to be what happened to baseball be the nationals pastime, and then become the sport nobody gives a fuck about, right?

Speaker 4 So they get in a panic when there's a changing of the guard.

Speaker 4 Okay, like when Jordan retires, fuck, who do we got now? We need a story. We need a fucking story.
And you need an interesting story.

Speaker 4 Okay. And it's just like, so they get, they got all of this shit.
They tried to do the thing. Like, you literally saw them trying to make people give a fuck about Patrick Mahomes and his relationship.

Speaker 4 Nobody did.

Speaker 4 So they dropped that because that, and

Speaker 4 what was the

Speaker 4 prototype for that? It was Brady and Giselle.

Speaker 6 Yeah, or Romo and Jessica Simpson.

Speaker 4 Naturally.

Speaker 4 The way the Lakers and the Celtics happened naturally in the 80s. And then the NBA is like, oh, that's our bread and butter.

Speaker 4 Two teams, a bunch of stars battling each other. And then you went into the age of the

Speaker 4 super teams.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 Jake, do we have any injuries for Commanders, Eagles, or Bills, Chiefs tomorrow?

Speaker 6 I mean, Sunday, uh, Commanders, Eagles, the big one is um, Jalen Hurts. Um,

Speaker 6 uh, there was a play where uh, Hurts rolled his knee, or someone rolled over Hurts' knee, and you can see that he wasn't the same after that. So, we'll see if he recovers in time for this week.

Speaker 6 But, um, I'm sure he'll be out there, but he definitely looked hobbled towards the end of that game. I think he only completed three passes after that.

Speaker 6 Um, so that's the big storyline, but other than that, I think everyone's going to be, or you know, the big names at least will be out there. Mahomes, Alan, Jane Daniels.

Speaker 1 You know, so anyway.

Speaker 5 All right, Bill, I'm going to give you the first game here. What do you think? Commanders are getting six against the Eagles.

Speaker 4 The Eagles.

Speaker 5 What's that?

Speaker 4 I'm going to take the Eagles and I'll tell you why. Because as much as you're seeing,

Speaker 4 you know, another superstar quarterback.

Speaker 3 with the commanders,

Speaker 4 I didn't like how they needed to score 48 points to win the game. They still let up how much how many points did they let up? Was it high 30s, low 40s, or something like that? I'm old school.

Speaker 4 I still believe you have to have a defense

Speaker 4 to win a game.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 4 and I just think the deeper you go into the playoffs,

Speaker 4 I don't know. What was their record this year against each other?

Speaker 6 It was one and one, but Hertz got injured in the second game or got a concussion in the second game. So, when that happened, the commanders came back and won.

Speaker 4 I still think, I think everybody's going to love the

Speaker 4 six fucking points. Jesus Christ.
All right, I'm just talking money line. I think the Eagles win this game.
Six fucking points.

Speaker 5 Yeah, dude. This is tough because, you know, I have this bias, the Saquon thing.
I love him. It's hard to see him do what he's doing.

Speaker 5 But the commanders are on a run, and I really think they're playing with house money. I could see the Eagles pulling it off at the end of the field goal, but I love the points.

Speaker 5 I'm going to take the Commanders getting six. I've been riding them all year, and they've gotten me here.

Speaker 5 So I'll take the Commanders getting six.

Speaker 5 And

Speaker 5 all right, I'll start off Bills Chiefs.

Speaker 4 That's a surprisingly low-scoring game. So it's probably good to take it.

Speaker 4 I don't think it's going to be a shootout. I think the Eagles

Speaker 4 are a really, really solid team.

Speaker 4 And I just don't see.

Speaker 4 I mean, I'll be honest with you. I don't know what the fuck that game was last week.

Speaker 4 The Commanders scored 28 the second quarter. The fucking game's over.

Speaker 1 No, it isn't.

Speaker 4 They had to do that twice.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Dude, it's maddened out.

Speaker 5 Dude, the Lions, that was, I mean, that was my Super Bowl pick. I did not expect that.

Speaker 1 Jake's been calling the Lions frauds all year. He was probably happy that happened.

Speaker 6 I mean, they're 10-point favorites and they lost what, what,

Speaker 6 two, three scores?

Speaker 6 But the pick six is a huge reason why the commanders had scored so many points. So, I mean, pick six was it flipped the entire game.

Speaker 6 So, I mean, the Lions probably still could have come back if it wasn't for that point.

Speaker 1 Yeah, two touchdowns.

Speaker 6 So, I mean, that's the difference of the game right there.

Speaker 6 Um, all four teams have not committed a turnover that are left in the playoffs. So, whoever wins the turnover battle probably wins these games.

Speaker 4 All right, turn it over, then there's a flag, and they get they get a fucking do-over.

Speaker 6 That's the chiefs.

Speaker 5 I'm curious to see.

Speaker 4 Hippie with this fucking, she's got four fucking rings. Fuck that shit.

Speaker 5 I'm curious to see.

Speaker 4 They're doing this shit on purpose.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Because they just have a new king, dude, whether he is the guy or not the guy. And I'm not saying he's, I'm going to be a fucking broken record here.
I'm just saying, dude, this is

Speaker 1 manufactured. It's assisted.
You see these today?

Speaker 4 They ride their bicycles, they're pedaling, but they also got a little motor on it. And they're just going up the fucking hill like 30 miles an hour.

Speaker 5 They got an electric mountain bike.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 4 they got a little fucking electric motor pushing them fucking field. And I'm not the only guy fucking saying it either.
It's former players are saying it too.

Speaker 4 So I don't know how long you can sit there going, haters.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 5 And I'm curious to see what the officials do because everybody's saying it this week. Everybody's saying it this week.
So

Speaker 4 you know what they do? They need to have that kid from fucking rocking New Year's Eve.

Speaker 4 Like, he should be the guy commentating the game.

Speaker 3 Who's the guy?

Speaker 1 Seacrest.

Speaker 4 Brian Seacrest should be announcing the game. And there's Taylor Swift.
And she's sitting next to fucking

Speaker 4 whatever, Caitlin Clark. And oh, my God, here comes Beyonce.

Speaker 4 And it's top two halftime show.

Speaker 4 And Cladless Kelsey's going to dance with them.

Speaker 3 That really is true.

Speaker 5 That really is true chiefs games have become the red carpet at the golden globes

Speaker 1 variety show it's not football

Speaker 4 i i literally shut it off like i feel like i'm watching a movie about football and that they're cutting through the co-star or some shit

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 5 all right well Here's my weird feeling and prediction. I think that the game is going to be a field goal, and I think somebody's going to mess up and miss.
And I think it's going to be the Chiefs.

Speaker 5 I I think Josh Allen is going to do enough to put the Bills in position to win and I think he takes them out.

Speaker 5 I'm going with the Buffalo Bills in an in a in a in not a huge upset because it's only two points but I'm going to take the Buffalo Bills to silence that Red Kingdom over there and Taylor Swift and I hope let me just say this I hope When Josh Allen and the Bills are cheering and jumping around that field, they go to Taylor Swift in that suite and they show everybody in there looking somber.

Speaker 5 They better do that. That's my prediction.

Speaker 4 All right. What I didn't like about your prediction is you said you think Josh Allen is going to do enough.
That sounds like you're picking a game in October.

Speaker 4 I don't think you can't come in and just do it.

Speaker 4 I don't know, dude.

Speaker 5 No, I mean, enough by getting them to the 30 and kicking a game-winning field goal

Speaker 4 against the Chiefs,

Speaker 4 the Rets, and Spotify? You think that that's going to be? I didn't Spotify.

Speaker 1 spotify.

Speaker 4 Oh, if I can just fucking hold you

Speaker 4 on the final fucking drive.

Speaker 4 If I just put my hand on your hip and it's past interference, if I can take my helmet off in the end zone and the ref tells me to put it back on rather than getting an unsportsman like, if my defensive coordinator can call timeout, even though that's illegal and the timeout is called, I need Josh Allen to do more than just enough.

Speaker 1 They need to take Valentine's Day massacre.

Speaker 4 By 40.

Speaker 5 Dude,

Speaker 5 I wish us four for the show could be together. Charcuterie board, all the food, and just have the cameras on us watching the Chiefs.

Speaker 4 Well, I can't eat and watch a Chiefs game.

Speaker 1 It's that stupid.

Speaker 4 Just have a fucking barf bag. Then here's the thing, too.
I love the Chiefs with fucking Ben Dawson, Joe Delaney, rest his soul, all the way up, Todd Blacklitch.

Speaker 4 I fucking love the goddamn Hank Schramm. Yeah, and yeah, yeah, it's a 64 Tosh Power trap.

Speaker 1 I fucking love the Chiefs.

Speaker 5 Oh, dude, Hank Schramm was great.

Speaker 3 That's a good place. That's a good place.

Speaker 4 I'm a fucking huge Chiefs fan, but I'm a fucking football fan first. And let me tell you something, Paul.
This ain't football.

Speaker 5 So, Bill, you're taking the Chiefs. You're taking the Chiefs.

Speaker 4 100%. I'm taking the fucking Chiefs.

Speaker 1 The movie of the week.

Speaker 4 The movie of the week.

Speaker 4 I can't wait. They're probably going to have a movie of the week.
They're probably already shooting it called The Three P.

Speaker 4 And that kid who used to host the Daily Show is going to fucking be Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 5 Part of me thinks you're right, but I'm just going with the better team. I think that I don't know, dude.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 4 Trevor, what's his face?

Speaker 1 He's going to play Patrick Mahomes.

Speaker 1 Trevor known?

Speaker 4 They're already shooting at Paul. That's how fixed it is.
They already know

Speaker 4 it's called the three-peat.

Speaker 4 And somewhere in there, like the just for to keep the story going,

Speaker 4 Taylor Swift will have some sort of, you know, ambiguous cancer test

Speaker 4 that we can get Travis Kelsey, who will be playing himself to tear up on camera and get nominated for a Golden Globe.

Speaker 1 Soundtrack.

Speaker 5 Oh, yeah. Soundtrack merch.

Speaker 1 I mean, you know,

Speaker 1 Oprah's going to produce it.

Speaker 4 Oprah's been kind of laying low lately. I feel like she's kind of like, all right, I made my money.
You know what I mean? I don't know what this business is anymore.

Speaker 4 It's like two streaming services that aren't buying anything.

Speaker 4 So

Speaker 4 we'll just sort of leave it at that.

Speaker 5 Oh, dude, I can't, Bill, I can't. I wish I could be a fly on the wall at your house when they call a flag against the Bills.

Speaker 4 Oh, I'm not watching it because I realized last week the NFL was playing me as a sucker, going, they're like, I know the Bill Burr sports fan hates that we keep cutting to fucking Madonna, right?

Speaker 4 But fucking Taylor Squiff, right?

Speaker 4 But he is too invested in watching NFL games. It's still a playoff game.
He will stay and watch this. We are betting.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 We are betting that we can keep all of this stupid shit going on and all of this cross-promotion and all of this shit. He's going to keep watching.
And dude, I just, I had to shut it off.

Speaker 4 I had to shut it off because it made me sad.

Speaker 4 If you think this is going to be the last time they do this, I think this is their new business model.

Speaker 4 That they're going to prop up a team even when they're not the team. I'm not saying they shouldn't have won one or two of them or whatever, but dude, that shit last year was a gift.

Speaker 6 The year before was worse, in my opinion, when they beat the Bengals on a ticky-tack call, oh, dude, the Bengals had them, and then that out of bounds, and then the Eagles game, the holding call that was a phantom holding call at the end, won them that game.

Speaker 4 So I think that was the worst honorary degree championships.

Speaker 1 100%

Speaker 6 that was their 02 Lakers run,

Speaker 6 the 22 run.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 Yeah, beating the Sacramento Kings. So, I mean, I don't know, dude.
Like,

Speaker 4 I've just been, I've been watching college basketball. I'm watching the Kansas Jayhawks.
It still looks like poop to me.

Speaker 4 I'm done with the NBA. That looks like a fucking shoot around.
It's it.

Speaker 4 And I'm not going out like a gentleman either. I'm shitting on all the leagues as they dragged me out of the fucking stadium.

Speaker 5 See, but this is what upsets me because everything was good this year except the Chiefs. The Chiefs ruined.
It was a good year. Teams like the Commanders with a young quarterback, good officiating.

Speaker 5 And they do this.

Speaker 4 That's a fair point. That's a fair point.

Speaker 5 Everything was good except this fucking team. God, I want them to watch.
And I like them.

Speaker 4 Look at you, Paul. Look at it.
Look at you.

Speaker 1 You're like, oh, God,

Speaker 3 that's what they're hoping for.

Speaker 4 It's making you fucking hate him. So you sit down and watch.
Don't fucking watch. Don't watch and buy the jersey of that kid on fucking buy a bunch of Josh Allen jerseys this week.

Speaker 1 Dude, Josh Allen.

Speaker 4 Make the NFL think, oh, that's where the money is. Because that's all they care about.
You saw what they did with CTE. They looked the other fucking way.

Speaker 4 And then when they had to pay the players with the miserable final third of their fucking lives, what did they give them 700 bucks each?

Speaker 5 Look, there's a reason why I fucking beat the book four years in a row. Okay, because I'm one of the best there is.

Speaker 1 Okay. Now, let me say this.

Speaker 5 Okay. I was doing an Instagram live and somebody goes, oh, Verza, you don't know.
I go, I'm better than you at this. Here's the deal.

Speaker 3 Somebody is still questioning you?

Speaker 5 Oh, dude, some of these, you know, very few, but here's the deal. Josh Allen is on another level.
Their running game with James Cook is great. Their defense is not bad.

Speaker 5 One little thing that they don't have that I think the edge goes a little bit.

Speaker 1 Yes.

Speaker 5 The officiating crew and receivers. But dude, I think the Bills can go in there and control the clock with the running game.

Speaker 5 And Josh Allen is just not a guy knock on wood to make big mistakes in a big game. He just isn't.

Speaker 5 And Josh Allen is MVP candidate this year. Patrick Mahomes is not.
Josh Allen is having a better year as a quarterback this year.

Speaker 5 The Buffalo Bills are only a two-point favorite because of the officiating. They're a better team.

Speaker 4 You're describing the Bills going, every good Bills team that went in and lost the playoff game. They're always this guy.
There's no reason why Charlie Brown one time doesn't kick the fucking ball.

Speaker 4 You know what I mean? There's no reason for that. Yet it doesn't fucking happen with them.

Speaker 5 You know what? Marv Levy is 99 years old, the great Marv Levy, who took those Bills teams. And I got to be honest, that means those losses never took years off his life.
Thank God.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 5 Guy's going to hit 100.

Speaker 4 He was too nice to win one.

Speaker 4 He was a wholesome guy. He helped out the community went home to his wife these are not the things

Speaker 5 this is not how you win in a capitalist society no i'm kidding um that's hilarious be like yeah dude never cheated on his wife they're done

Speaker 4 he has morals

Speaker 5 it's over

Speaker 3 if a guy gets concussed he actually sits him down because he's thinking about the quality of the rest of his life

Speaker 5 dude he was there for his kids. No way they win.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 4 Okay, now, who are the Chiefs playing in this Made for TV movie? You're saying they're going to be playing the Commanders.

Speaker 5 No, no, I don't know if the Commanders are going to win. I like the six points.
I could see the Eagles winning by a field goal. The Commanders keeping it close.

Speaker 5 I think in a perfect world, the two teams do cameo. What's that?

Speaker 5 Does what?

Speaker 4 Does Stallone do a cameo?

Speaker 1 Oh, 100%.

Speaker 1 No, Stallone wouldn't.

Speaker 5 I feel like Stallone wouldn't.

Speaker 6 They'll do a Rocky reference.

Speaker 1 No, The Rock would.

Speaker 5 The Rock would do a Cameo, not Sly.

Speaker 1 Sly wants to part of it.

Speaker 4 When Rocky wins, is that not one of the greatest scores of any music ever?

Speaker 5 Dude, I'll be honest with you. When Adrian was in the hospital in two, and he's sitting there and Mickey's got his head down.
And she goes, come here, I want to to tell you something.

Speaker 5 And he goes, What? She goes, and she goes, Win. And then all of a sudden, you hear the bell go off.
Dude, I almost cried, dude.

Speaker 1 I almost lost it.

Speaker 5 I, I, dude, when that music and then and then Mickey goes, What are we waiting for? I'm like, dude, I can't handle this.

Speaker 4 Um, like a bearded eight-year-old Paul Bersey.

Speaker 5 Remember that little kid working out to the music?

Speaker 4 Um, no, the, the, the, was that John Williams? Did he do it again on that one? Was that him?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 1 Wrote that.

Speaker 1 I always forget. It's

Speaker 1 an Italian guy.

Speaker 4 Dude, when they play that to real boxing, I was watching that. They had like great comebacks and they start

Speaker 1 Bill Conte.

Speaker 1 Huh? Bill Conte.

Speaker 5 No, I like that.

Speaker 1 Dude, that's, I mean, that's.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 dude, that's the Hulk Hogan.

Speaker 4 When they go to drop the hand the third third time and it's it fucking stays up and he starts fucking doing this walking around the whole place starts going nuts.

Speaker 5 Dude, you know what? You know what scene in Rocky isn't talked about enough? And it's funny and touching in a weird way is when he went to the priest and he like honks his horn.

Speaker 5 He goes, yo, father, father. And he just goes the way he describes, he's like, you know, a fight, I was wondering, you know, if you'd give me a little prayer.

Speaker 5 He just like, ah, Rocky, he does the whole thing. All right, thanks, father, and just leaves.
That was so great, man. It was so great.

Speaker 1 I loved it.

Speaker 4 I loved it. Hey, remember when people used to think you could trust a priest?

Speaker 5 Well, that's why he did it from the window.

Speaker 4 And now we had a little weird interaction a couple, uh, couple of decades ago. I was wondering if uh, you could maybe try to even it out with a little.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, I hate the Paulic cops.

Speaker 5 Yo, Father, forget the past a couple years ago. Just wondering, that's hilarious.

Speaker 1 I'm sorry.

Speaker 5 No, he was Italian. He wouldn't have the priest, was was Italian.

Speaker 4 Vatican is in Italy. I know it's considered a sovereign state, but Paul, it's sitting right there.
It's surrounded by Italians.

Speaker 1 And the thing is, behind that wall, Paul.

Speaker 3 You know,

Speaker 5 what can you do, but hope for the best?

Speaker 4 What can you do?

Speaker 1 You can turn the fucking priest corpse.

Speaker 4 You don't send him to a new place.

Speaker 5 That's true.

Speaker 1 That's true.

Speaker 4 Sending him around the league like Jeff George.

Speaker 3 That's my

Speaker 3 go-to reference always jeff

Speaker 5 so bill you have the chiefs and the eagles in the super bowl yeah

Speaker 4 uh yeah there's only one football game next week all right

Speaker 4 the other one they're they're shooting for uh you know stock footage for when trevin noah plays patrick mahomes in the the chiefs three-peat it's already been greenlit

Speaker 5 dude Did the Washington Redskins with Mark Rippin play?

Speaker 5 Were they one of the four teams that beat the the Bills in a Super Bowl?

Speaker 4 The second year.

Speaker 5 That was the Giants.

Speaker 4 Second year was Mark Rippin, and that was the great Joe Gibbs, who won three Super Bowls with three different quarterbacks. No one's ever done that.
Joe Theisman, Doug Williams, Mark Rippen.

Speaker 5 What if we get a Washington Buffalo

Speaker 5 another Super Bowl? It's right there in front of them. That'd be amazing for the NFL, I think.

Speaker 3 That's not the only thing in front of them.

Speaker 6 They bad cash.

Speaker 4 Oh my God, my Chiefs jersey just came. It's one of those things.

Speaker 1 Did you see that?

Speaker 5 That was one of the best things. He goes, oh, my new Chiefs jersey was an officiating.

Speaker 5 He went like this, too. He lifted it up.

Speaker 4 Literally, to the point, the people on ESPN are saying it.

Speaker 5 No, dude, legends are saying it. Everybody

Speaker 1 said it. What?

Speaker 6 Tom Brady said it.

Speaker 4 They're not going to listen. They don't listen to anything the fucking Patriots say.

Speaker 5 No, but Bill, you made a good point about something with that flop he did. That was like so egregious.

Speaker 5 Like, that was, that was like, he, like, waited, went out of bounds, and then did it like a child. It was like just to try to get the flag, which shows you he knows he's getting calls.

Speaker 4 It is. It was musical theater.

Speaker 5 It was ridiculous. And

Speaker 4 it was Pirates of the Caribbean, Paul.

Speaker 5 Oh, Bill, we're going to be here next week talking, talking Buffalo. We're going to be here talking Buffalo.
The Buffalo Bills are going in there.

Speaker 4 And I saw her face.

Speaker 4 Now, Paul's a believer.

Speaker 4 You're betting against the Chiefs in the playoffs, and you're betting on the Buffalo Bills.

Speaker 4 The Buffalo Bills logo, the Buffalo should be replaced with a broken heart.

Speaker 4 Or just some Bills fan laying face down on a table that didn't break.

Speaker 4 Brying with wing sauce on the side of his face.

Speaker 5 Yeah, man,

Speaker 5 I don't know. I think the better team is Buffalo.
I think they're going to go and win.

Speaker 4 Hey, Paul, you're not going to get an argument here on that. I think the better team was

Speaker 4 the 49ers last year. But I, with confidence,

Speaker 1 so who wins the Super Bowl at this point, at this juncture here?

Speaker 5 Well, we got to do the picks when we find out.

Speaker 1 Well, I'm just saying right now, who do you still think?

Speaker 4 They're going to three Pete,

Speaker 4 and then everybody's going to be forced to say, oh my god,

Speaker 4 is this the greatest fucking team that ever fucking put on clean? That's what it's going to be because they have nothing else.

Speaker 5 I think Buffalo is going to beat the Philadelphia Eagles in the Super Bowl.

Speaker 6 That's what I want to happen, but I think the more we talk this out, Bill is a great point, and the Chiefs are probably going to win it. But I think the Eagles will be there either way.
So

Speaker 6 I'll go Chiefs.

Speaker 1 You don't think that, yeah.

Speaker 5 So

Speaker 5 Jake the Snake is with Bill. He's got the Eagles and Chiefs.

Speaker 4 Andrew, hey, dude, the league, the guys that run the fuck

Speaker 4 are with the Chiefs.

Speaker 1 I actually think the Bills can win.

Speaker 4 I don't know how much more of this shit you can fucking watch.

Speaker 1 How much more you can fucking watch?

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 I think the Bills can win. I mean, I thought the Ravens could have beat the Chiefs.
I mean, I'm still heartbroken over that Ravens loss. I'm obviously not a Ravens fan this season.

Speaker 1 I was rooting for him. I thought they had, you know, the team to beat the Chiefs and to win the Super Bowl, but those, that was brutal.
But

Speaker 4 he's giving the Bills credit, though, man.

Speaker 3 Oh, no, no.

Speaker 1 I listen, I understand, but if, but if, if there's like two drop balls that, like, really changed the course of that game, and I'm not saying

Speaker 1 that kid, man.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Turnovers didn't, the ones before those, they don't count.

Speaker 1 No, no, no, they do. Listen, I'm not, again, I'm not saying the Bills didn't do it.

Speaker 1 I just think if you just, if you add it all up, it just, I think that those, those two plays, I mean, if he catches that ball in the end zone, obviously it's I'm gonna play in the Bills coach in the Made for TV movie.

Speaker 4 Put a word in for me.

Speaker 5 They are teaching those guys to just punch the ball out. That's like a play now where they're just running and they just from behind.

Speaker 1 It's great.

Speaker 5 Punch down, dude, and it works.

Speaker 4 Lawrence Taylor came up with that. They've been doing that ever since then, but Lawrence was the best at it.
He brings that hammer of Thor.

Speaker 4 Oh, you had your back to him.

Speaker 5 Lawrence Taylor, was there anybody better on defense?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 5 Who's the closest?

Speaker 6 Ray Lewis. Ray Lewis? In my opinion.

Speaker 4 Ray Lewis is a good one.

Speaker 4 I don't think anybody.

Speaker 4 Okay, I would go with Ray Lewis being the closest, but there's nobody

Speaker 4 like, I don't know, people don't understand changing the game.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 Ray Lewis dominated the game. What's his face was doing shit.
You've seen that clip? Like, like, that's not in the playbook. And he goes, well, you should put it in there because it's a dandy.

Speaker 4 You ever seen that?

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 4 He's supposed to, dude, he's supposed to drop back in coverage. at the pro level and he rushes instead.
That means his guy is open.

Speaker 4 And not only does he still get to the quarterback before the guy can even see the dude he's supposed to be covering isn't covered, he strips the ball and gets a touchdown.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. And wasn't he the first?

Speaker 4 The skylight reel looks like a future NFL, like, like, you know, their high school reel where it's like going to the NFL and the rest of these kids are going to a community college.

Speaker 4 He was doing that at like the NFL level.

Speaker 5 Wasn't he the first guy to stand up as a DN, not get into three-point stands, just stand up and rush like that.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and Carcells was looking at him like, what the fuck is he doing?

Speaker 5 That's so great.

Speaker 4 The first guy to drive by the stadium,

Speaker 4 see the lights on, and be like, oh, shit, I thought that game was tomorrow.

Speaker 5 And he like, and he got there in the first quarter. I didn't know that.
He's the one that started to punch the ball out.

Speaker 4 He's the first guy I saw that did that. Because it used to be they used to just try to sack the quarterback.

Speaker 5 And strip it, yeah.

Speaker 4 No, they wouldn't. they would just you just try to grab him and tackle him.
He's the guy, at least he came up with the

Speaker 4 you know, when you're coming in from the blind side, yeah, that that oh, dude. And I also don't think anybody looked better in a uniform

Speaker 4 than he did. He looked like a friggin superhero.

Speaker 5 Oh, God, I'm getting the chills.

Speaker 1 I love it. Charles Tillman had the record for punch-outs.

Speaker 4 So I would say Lawrence Taylor, wide receiver,

Speaker 4 is a toss-up between Jerry Rice and Randy Moss.

Speaker 1 Yep, I agree.

Speaker 4 Running back is a hard one. I'd have to go like as far as power and speed,

Speaker 4 Bo Jackson, and then as far as lasting longer, Earl Campbell.

Speaker 4 And then I would say, you know, as far as being just elusive and explosive, would be Barry Sanders.

Speaker 1 Walter Payton.

Speaker 4 Walter Payton was a mix of

Speaker 1 a power

Speaker 4 back and an elusive guy. Like he would do that step and then dip back out.
He used to do that move.

Speaker 4 And then I would say honorable mention, and the guy who should be in the fucking Hall of Fame as far as like he was showing the future, as far as his receiving ability, and as a running back is Roger Craig.

Speaker 4 The fact that that guy isn't in the Hall of Fame is fucking ridiculous.

Speaker 6 He's not in the Hall of Fame.

Speaker 1 No.

Speaker 6 He's won like four Super Bowls now, or two or three. He was on a lot of those teams.

Speaker 4 Somehow he's not in.

Speaker 6 Crazy.

Speaker 5 All right. How about safeties? You got Ed Reed and Ronnie Lott

Speaker 4 safe. Oh, Ed Reid's a good one.

Speaker 6 Troy Paul Malo, too.

Speaker 5 Oh, Troy Paul Malo's a good one.

Speaker 4 Mike Haynes. Was Mike Haines a corner? Mike Haynes was a corner.

Speaker 5 I think Ed Reid statistically is the best one. Dude, we saw him smoking a cigar when we were in Vegas at the Super Bowl.
That was awesome.

Speaker 1 That's cool.

Speaker 5 He's a huge cigar guy.

Speaker 1 Yeah, those are all good. I don't know if people would.

Speaker 4 All right. Who's the best quarterback you ever saw?

Speaker 5 The best quarterback I ever saw.

Speaker 5 For me, it's a no-brainer.

Speaker 5 It's Tom Brady.

Speaker 5 I saw him at Giant Stadium go 16-0,

Speaker 5 get the record to Randy Moss. Randy got the record with that pass.
Tom and Randy got the record together with that pass.

Speaker 5 And it was the first time in my life, this is when me and you first became friends, and I've been to Giants Stadium plenty.

Speaker 5 It was the first time in any professional sporting event I've ever seen when Brady and the offense were walking to the line of scrimmage and Giants Stadium is on their feet for all plays but three.

Speaker 5 It looked like they were at their practice facility, that calm, collective, knowing what they're doing.

Speaker 5 It was the most, I remember just being like 70,000 screaming against them and the way they just walked up like a machine. I was like, dude,

Speaker 5 this is nuts, dude. I'm watching something special here.

Speaker 4 I think I'm still a Joe Montana guy, an honorable mention, Dan.

Speaker 4 Dan Marino's season in 84 and him beating the 85 Bears, they just had no fucking defense, and their coach was old, and it passed them by. So those are the an Elway, too, dude.

Speaker 5 Elway was my Elway, I would say.

Speaker 4 Yeah, and then also any of those guys,

Speaker 4 if they had like,

Speaker 4 you know, it's like, what if Dan Marino had Bill Walsh? You know what I mean? Because that really is a part of it.

Speaker 4 You got to have all of those pieces, you know, the ownership, the GM, the coach, and all of that.

Speaker 5 So, dude, what if Jim Kelly won two of those?

Speaker 5 Jim Kelly, dude, he never gets talked about because they lost, but dude, he went to four Super Bowls in a row.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 It's insane.

Speaker 1 Yep.

Speaker 3 And they had that big comeback against the Oilers.

Speaker 5 Yeah, but he didn't play in that. It was Frank Reich.
It was his backup.

Speaker 4 oh that's right good call um

Speaker 1 yeah

Speaker 4 the 80s is when it like changed like those 70s quarterbacks it was just it was a different game um

Speaker 4 all the the starbacks the bradshaws fran tarkenton and all of that it was it was on ken stabler burt jones those dudes it was on its way

Speaker 4 to becoming what it is and that started in the 80s with all of that but that's back when like dude just the giants alone what they did to joe Montana and the quality of his life now.

Speaker 4 Like they broke him in half twice.

Speaker 5 That Leonard Marshall hit from behind.

Speaker 4 They played on fucking Astro Turf.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Turf is more common now.

Speaker 4 Veterans Stadium was like getting tackled on like the fucking parking lot.

Speaker 5 Dude, what about the first, who was the first Mike Vic that I saw? It was Randall Cunningham. And dude, Randall Briscoe.
What's that?

Speaker 4 Arlon Briscoe.

Speaker 5 In my time, it was, yeah, that's a little before my time. My time was Randall Cunningham.
But dude, Randall Cunningham also had a bomb.

Speaker 1 Do you remember his arm? Oh, yeah.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah. No, he's no, Randall Cunningham was unbelievable.
Marlon Briscoe was Randall Cunningham 20 years before him.

Speaker 1 Yeah, we've, we've pulled him up on here before, I think.

Speaker 5 Dude, Randall Cunningham would run around, run around, run around, get at it, and then just sling it, dude. He was great.

Speaker 4 No, he was incredible.

Speaker 4 Oh, the honor. You got to love the honorable mentions.

Speaker 5 I love the honorable mentions.

Speaker 4 I feel bad right now because I know the listeners are all screaming names that they want to fucking hear. I got to think of some.

Speaker 6 Rogers, Brees, and Payton for quarterbacks, but you know, that's more modern.

Speaker 4 Damn, we didn't brought up Drew Brees or whatever, as far as like the guy, the Doug Fluty Award, the guy who shouldn't be there, but still just fucking goes out and wins.

Speaker 4 You got to go fucking Drew Brees.

Speaker 5 Brett Favre in his day. Brett Favre in his heyday.

Speaker 4 Yeah, Brett Favre was always like, he had too many fucking turnovers for me.

Speaker 1 Yeah, that's true.

Speaker 1 Yeah, he was a powerhouse, though. Green Bay was Green Bay was a really rough team in the early 90s.

Speaker 5 No, but Bill's right. He would throw across his body and try to stick it in places and just get picked off.
And then they would be like, well, he's a cowboy. He's a slinger.

Speaker 4 There really was no ramifications.

Speaker 4 I bet he historically leads everybody in like, you know, four or more interceptions in a game.

Speaker 5 Did we mention Troy Aikman?

Speaker 4 We haven't. No, Troy very quietly has three.

Speaker 3 Kurt Warner.

Speaker 5 Terry Bradshaw.

Speaker 3 Kurt Warner with those Rams teams was amazing.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Yeah. What's it called?

Speaker 4 Who was the

Speaker 4 Doug Williams when he was at Tampa and then win one with the Redskins? There have been a lot of good QBs out there.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 6 I'm thinking about all these running backs, too.

Speaker 6 Just like, you know, LT and Adrian Peterson. Oh, Douglas.

Speaker 5 Who hit the hole faster than LaDania Tomlinson? The year he had

Speaker 5 40 or whatever, 30-something touchdowns?

Speaker 1 I had a conversation about him with somebody, and they kept referring him to his LT, my neighbor. He's younger.
And I was like, oh, you mean LDT? I was like,

Speaker 1 I was like,

Speaker 1 we're different generations here.

Speaker 1 There's LT and there's LDT.

Speaker 1 But look,

Speaker 5 you know, we never mentioned Peyton Manning once, which is nuts.

Speaker 3 Sorry, Peyton Manning.

Speaker 4 Oh, yeah, Peyton Manning.

Speaker 1 And Jake brought him up in the run of those guys.

Speaker 5 But But, dude, listen, Brady went to 11 Super Bowls. Did he go to 11?

Speaker 1 He lost four.

Speaker 6 Lost four. So that would be 11, right?

Speaker 1 Because he went

Speaker 1 lost. 7.
Oh, seven, right? Six with a past seven.

Speaker 5 Who else did he lose to? He lost to the Giants in 7-11. He lost to the Eagles in the Eagles.
He lost to.

Speaker 1 In like 2017.

Speaker 5 I think, dude, the comeback, listen, the comeback against the Falcons, if that didn't solidify, he was a, dude, the comeback against the Falcons with the two two-point conversions, dude, if that didn't seal the deal, dude.

Speaker 5 I mean, the guy didn't make a mistake.

Speaker 1 Falcons, Paul.

Speaker 5 Dude, 28-3, though, dude.

Speaker 1 In the third.

Speaker 4 I got a crazy stat about Eli Manning.

Speaker 1 Oh, Eli, yeah.

Speaker 4 In 7 and 11, he never won a playoff game any other year except those years. Yeah.

Speaker 5 And all were on the road.

Speaker 4 How nuts is that?

Speaker 1 Insane.

Speaker 6 That'll that'll never happen again.

Speaker 4 To me, that's one of those things where you're like, How is Eli not in the Hall of Fame? And then somebody brings that up and it's like, Huh, are they hanging their hat on that?

Speaker 4 It's a weird stat for a guy that was that good.

Speaker 5 No, his stats are weird across the board. He has like the same amount, almost the same amount of interceptions to touchdowns, his completions, but he just won big games.

Speaker 5 Like, I think you'd have to say, after two and two Super Bowl MVPs, I think he should be in there.

Speaker 4 He's going to get any discussions.

Speaker 1 I wasn't quite saying it.

Speaker 4 You're not going to get a Patriots fan being like, Yeah, no, I don't know about that guy, we know about that guy.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 who do you think the best guy? I'm trying to think of Raiders.

Speaker 5 Who are Raiders? Who are the best Raiders?

Speaker 1 Ben Stabler,

Speaker 5 right? But who was after him? Wasn't there anybody after him?

Speaker 3 Jeff Hostettler.

Speaker 5 No, Jeff Hostettler won a Super Bowl with the Giants.

Speaker 4 Did he never play with Gatlin or Chris?

Speaker 3 Something like that.

Speaker 1 They all looked like Rich Gannon.

Speaker 5 Oh, Rich Gannon. Rich Gannon went to a Super Bowl, and his receivers on that that team were Jerry Rice and Tim Brown.

Speaker 1 Mark Wilson.

Speaker 3 And I saw Brown's another guy you got to bring up.

Speaker 5 Tim Brown.

Speaker 4 Tim Brown, Tony Gonzalez.

Speaker 4 The greatest tight ends of all time. Tim Brown, Tony Gonzalez.

Speaker 5 Antonio Gates.

Speaker 4 Antonio Gates, Russ Ram.

Speaker 1 Kidding.

Speaker 6 You should be in the Hall of Fame, too.

Speaker 5 Travis, I think now you have to say, I think you have to say Travis Kelsey now.

Speaker 4 Do you?

Speaker 5 Dude,

Speaker 5 he just passed Tony Gonzalez for yards, I think, last year.

Speaker 4 Oh, I didn't know he had numbers like that.

Speaker 5 No, he's got a lot of yards. He's got a lot of...
This is actually one of his lowest years. This is one of his worst years.

Speaker 1 I'd still say Krom first.

Speaker 4 Stats today versus like... the stats like 10.
It's just, it's a different, the game changes so much. That's why it's hard to go like error to error.

Speaker 4 Obviously, Kelsey would fucking dominate in any era.

Speaker 5 Gronkowski, dude. Gronkowski had hands.
He had like, it wasn't like he actually reached out high, grabbed the ball, and then yards after the catch. Gronk was a beast, dude.

Speaker 4 Dude, they just went after his fucking legs.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 But they just, they hit that. I never saw a guy get hit low.
You had to. There was the only way to bring him down, but they just fucking hammered his head.

Speaker 5 Dude, he went down like a tree, dude.

Speaker 3 They would hit him right up.

Speaker 1 They would hit him like right above, right above the knees.

Speaker 1 And then his top would just crash straight down. Yeah.

Speaker 6 Or the back, too.

Speaker 1 Dude, Brady loved him.

Speaker 5 Brady loved going to him because he always delivered for him.

Speaker 4 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Who do you think the best rookie quarterbacks are? Jake texted me. Maybe

Speaker 1 Jaden Daniels.

Speaker 5 Oh, the best rookie quarterbacks. I think Jaden, but also I believe Ben Rothesberger went 13 and 3 his first year.

Speaker 1 Ben Rothesperier.

Speaker 4 My uh forrest gump moments i went to uh i was doing a gig in pittsburgh and i went to the mall and ben rollesberger was sitting there signing autographs it was like five people in the line and no one who's that guy is that guy he's got the long name right and dude that was like the second game of the year and then a month later i was on tour with charlie murphy rest his soul and donnell robbins uh Rollins and we were in Dallas and I went to that old ugly ass stadium they had that look like a giant golf ball that they cut the top off of.

Speaker 4 And I went in there. And by then, he was already a star.
That's when he was like 7-0.

Speaker 4 And the legend of Big Ben.

Speaker 4 I'll say, as far as what I liked about him,

Speaker 4 and I don't know that you're going to see a guy like that again. He was an old school, like tough quarterback.

Speaker 4 Where it was like tackling a defensive level of hits that that guy took and he still didn't go down. He wasn't elusive.

Speaker 4 He'd just grab him and you'd bounce off of him and he would still make the throw and the completion.

Speaker 5 But you know what? He was a little more elusive than you think because there are times where he like scampered away and you're like, how did he not get caught? Because he looks so slow.

Speaker 5 And they said he was that height and that big in high school when he played in Ohio. They go, it was like the same guy, but you're right.

Speaker 5 The last name makes you go, oh, that guy's, that's a backup last name.

Speaker 4 Yeah, it doesn't, it doesn't seem like it's going to be.

Speaker 4 Yeah,

Speaker 4 that sounds like a fucking Cleveland Brown quarterback

Speaker 5 who's back up to Chicago the next year um you guys didn't have Gronk in 07 right

Speaker 4 when did we get Gronk no I thought those were the welker years uh

Speaker 4 out here at the when they had you know when Willis Whalen comes out yeah we were out here during the thing and he had just gotten drafted

Speaker 4 and I was standing there and he was fucking huge and he was like just a kid and he was, I heard him, he was like talking or whatever.

Speaker 4 And Willis goes, That's your new tight end. That's your new tight end.
And I was just like, all right, yeah, cool. We'll take a big guy.

Speaker 4 I didn't think it was going to be,

Speaker 4 I didn't think, you know, I had no idea he was going to be what he was.

Speaker 5 Now, did that Patriots run with those?

Speaker 5 That Patriots run with the players they had from Moss that year to Gronk to Welker to Edelman and the 2010 and his 2010 and his scouting report, if I remember correctly, was really good.

Speaker 1 But he was injured his last year in Arizona. And some people are like, nah, this guy's injury prone.
Like, he's, it's like, he's not going to

Speaker 1 have it.

Speaker 4 I know he had his off field issues, but like those years when we had the two tight ends, it was amazing.

Speaker 6 Impossible to guard. Yeah.

Speaker 5 Oh, by the way, how did we not

Speaker 4 movie?

Speaker 5 How did we never ever mention Aaron Rodgers? And he's like arguably the most talented quarterback arm-wise ever?

Speaker 1 That guy.

Speaker 4 Well, that's my thing, too. I don't think, do you think that Aaron Rodgers is at his best? Has Patrick Mahones played at that level yet?

Speaker 5 As far as throwing the football, no.

Speaker 6 Statistically, no.

Speaker 5 As a matter of fact, Aaron Rodgers did the Brett Favre cross-the-body and actually fit it in.

Speaker 5 He got it in. Yeah.
So

Speaker 5 I love that. I could talk about this all the time.

Speaker 4 So Aaron Rodgers is going to be the last Hall of Fame quarterback at the end of his career that's going to go to the Jets.

Speaker 4 Everybody's after Brett and then fucking Aaron, everybody's going to be, the agents are all going to be, you don't want to go there.

Speaker 3 It's not going to end well.

Speaker 5 They just show a chart of everybody that did it.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 There's no,

Speaker 4 that's not.

Speaker 5 I got a great story. I don't know, Bill, I might have told you this, but this is a great story for the show.
So this is a Warren Moon. This is a Warren Moon on the Minnesota Vikings story.

Speaker 5 Warren Moon, I guess he was

Speaker 5 after the oilers or whatever or whenever he played on the on the vikings and he had a young chris carter hall of famer and i guess he threw the ball and chris carter like he missed chris carter and chris carter kind of did this diva flashy wow come on and apparently warren moon went up to him gets in his face and he goes if you ever fucking do that again in public he said i will bury you in this offense and nobody will ever know your name it's true story crazy love that chris carter one of the great receivers, too.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 4 And then it went on to mint John Jefferson, the first Jerry Rice, but he took the money and went to Green Bay. Dude, Green Bay had James Lofton and John Jefferson

Speaker 4 in the same thing, and they were playing in the frozen tundra. Oh, my God.
If Dan Marino had those two,

Speaker 4 Dan Marino is my coach, John Wooden. That's my guy.

Speaker 3 Dan Marino.

Speaker 5 I'm not trying to hurt Buffalo Bills fans here, but this was their team.

Speaker 5 You You had Thurman Munson in the back, uh, Thurman Thomas, yeah, you had Thurman, Thurman Munson, you had rest his soul, Ellett wide receiver, rest his soul.

Speaker 5 Yeah, you had Thurman Thomas, you had Thurman Thomas in the backfield, you had James Lofton, you had Andre Reed, you had Bruce Smith,

Speaker 5 you had the Daryl Talley, Bennett, Cornelius Bennett, Daryl Talley, Don Beebe, dude, Don Beebe and special teams.

Speaker 5 They just went against the Cowboys with Emmett, Troy, Michael.

Speaker 4 They also went up against Bill Belichick's Giants defense.

Speaker 4 And they went up against Joe Gibbs. Dude, they went up against.

Speaker 4 First of all, they went up against the two masters,

Speaker 4 Belichick, Parcels, on the same fucking team, and then Joe Gibbs. And then they went up against fucking

Speaker 4 Cowboys. We got like 49 number one picks when he cut all those players after a Herschel Walker trade.
And shout out to Jimmy Johnson, picked all the right guys, too.

Speaker 6 Jimmy Johnson does not get enough credit.

Speaker 1 And guess what?

Speaker 4 Give a fuck.

Speaker 5 Jerry Jones wanted him out.

Speaker 4 Fucking mood since the first time I saw him, since he was with Miami. He's just always been ear-to-ear grin.

Speaker 3 I'm not happy with a head of hair like that.

Speaker 5 You ever notice when

Speaker 5 I love his hair? You ever notice, though, when an owner does that, when an owner wants to get rid of the guy that they shouldn't shouldn't get rid of, the team doesn't win.

Speaker 5 Jerry Jones didn't want Jimmy Johnson calling the shots, and he got rid of them because they had a riff.

Speaker 5 And then the Maras, you know, the Maras kind of got rid of Coughlin after Coughlin did what he did, and Coughlin wouldn't shake his hand at the press conference and stuff.

Speaker 5 And you shouldn't have got rid of the guy. You know, you shouldn't have got rid of the guy.
The fucking team. No, it's ridiculous.

Speaker 4 Ego, what's his face? He's still saying he's going to be the GM.

Speaker 6 Jones, man.

Speaker 1 Jerry Jones is going to be the fucking GM.

Speaker 5 What about Rex Ryan going, the Jets got to pick me. I'm the best guy for the job.
They know I've been there. I could do it again.
I'm going to come back and I'm the guy for the job.

Speaker 5 He's just basically interviewing himself on ESPN.

Speaker 6 My team did something similar. We fired Marty Schottenheimer after going 14 and two, and then we were terrible.

Speaker 5 Dude, Marty Schottenheimer is an anomaly. I've never seen a guy have a more dominant year and then in the playoffs be winning and then just have it stop.

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 it was the worst time clock management

Speaker 3 ever.

Speaker 6 Falcons are up there too, though.

Speaker 6 The Falcons in that game were up there too. They didn't run the ball, they just kept throwing it up 28 to 3.

Speaker 1 Yeah, no, that, yeah, the different sites be it.

Speaker 4 The NFC Central, whatever they call it now, they used to be the black and blue division. At some point, dude, other than the Packers, the misery,

Speaker 4 the misery in that Lions, Vikings, and Bears, the Bermuda Triangle,

Speaker 4 fucking being a football fan.

Speaker 1 Well, they were saying that that was the best division all year.

Speaker 1 People were saying, and I'm not saying that they weren't because they had obviously a few competitive teams, but they're like best, best division all year.

Speaker 1 And like, they just got shut out of the playoffs. Well,

Speaker 6 I went three.

Speaker 4 great season like the lions did and you're just one and done i mean you know

Speaker 4 far emotionally as a fan, and how far ahead you've already planned, and it's over in hours.

Speaker 5 You know, you know, you know, who did that the most? I hate to say it, but Peyton Manning did that the most. I think Peyton Manning, they would go 13 and three, and the Chargers would knock them out.

Speaker 5 I think Peyton Manning has 11 first-round eliminations or something like that, dude.

Speaker 4 Well, that's why their owner had to get on the competition committee and change fucking rules to tip it to the advantage of their team and steal our offense.

Speaker 5 Yeah, and an owner shouldn't be allowed. The NFL should not allow an owner to be on a rules committee.

Speaker 5 It's a complete conflict of interest.

Speaker 4 It doesn't, but it's the Midwest, you know, it's fine.

Speaker 5 No, because then they could make rules for indoors. They could, you know what I mean? It's like for their stadium.

Speaker 4 It's just rules of where you kick the ball off and where you don't, when you fucking, you know, miss a field goal, whatever the fuck happened that year.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 It was like boss hog shit.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Did you guys hear about this happened over break? Because you mentioned, we were talking about coaches, the John Madden movie that they're making.

Speaker 5 Oh, that's going to be.

Speaker 1 Do you know who's playing John Madden? Who?

Speaker 4 Freekeep, which they're going to show this Sunday before the game.

Speaker 5 Who's playing Madden?

Speaker 6 Nicholas Cage.

Speaker 3 What?

Speaker 3 No, but imagine him like with makeup. They're going to do it.

Speaker 5 You got to kick the ball.

Speaker 1 And you know who's playing al davis

Speaker 4 you know kick the ball through the uprights

Speaker 1 you got four quarters one two three four overtime why would he do that why

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 al davis you know who's playing al davis

Speaker 1 who

Speaker 1 christian bale oh i heard that i heard that that could be good amazing i would have thought they'd get frank caliendo to play john madden oh god

Speaker 1 so nobody takes it seriously at all. His family is like, maybe you could have gone with somebody else.

Speaker 3 It's John Goodman out of this.

Speaker 5 Nicholas Cage is playing John Madden.

Speaker 5 Are they going to put him in like a suit? Like, what?

Speaker 4 They're going to put him in Eddie Murphy's Nutty Professor.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, we're at.

Speaker 5 Well, we went. That was great.
A little memory lane, a little nostalgia there.

Speaker 5 All right, everybody. Those are our our championship week,

Speaker 5 championship week picks. Bill has the Chiefs and Eagles.
I have the Commanders and Bills.

Speaker 4 I hope you appreciate when you watch the Kansas City Chiefs, the level of greatness

Speaker 4 that you are watching. I just hope that you appreciate that.

Speaker 5 Dude, I'm not going to mention the name now. I'll tell you guys off the recording, but I was in the green room.
I might have said this before.

Speaker 5 I was in the green room in milwaukee or something and this guy this guy that was featuring for me nice guy uh spanish kid tall he goes he told me a guy he opened for and it was a name that we all know and he goes yeah i was in here open for him this is what the guy said to him i guess the guy he opened for the headliner killed and he went back in the green room and he sat down and he looked and he goes i'm jealous of you bro And the feature goes, why?

Speaker 5 He goes, I'm jealous that you got to see that set that I just had. I wish I could have watched.

Speaker 5 He goes, I wish, he goes, I wish I could have watched what I just did for an hour.

Speaker 3 I'm jealous.

Speaker 4 That kid there alone with him

Speaker 4 becomes terrifying.

Speaker 5 Not fucking around. Like, I'm jealous of you, bro.
And he goes, oh, why? He goes, because you just got to witness and watch. what I just did out there.
Like, I wish I could have watched.

Speaker 5 If it was like some Kanye way, and he thought he was fucking with him. He's like, ah, and he's like, no, man, I was like, I'm jealous you got to see that.
Dude, he told me he was serious.

Speaker 1 I was just like, what?

Speaker 5 I was like, dude, that's a new

Speaker 1 liner.

Speaker 5 When I tell, yeah, I'll tell you, hey, I can't say it here, all right?

Speaker 1 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 1 Sounds like Kanye West, though. But, dude,

Speaker 4 I got a story like that. I'm not going to say because people might figure it out.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 4 Dude,

Speaker 4 I had somebody bring me up one time.

Speaker 4 And the level that they complimented themselves and where they put me in position to them,

Speaker 4 I was like, for the first five minutes I was on stage i'm like did he really just

Speaker 5 you can't even think of your first jokes you're like wait what's like literally like

Speaker 4 out of all the people out there this is the only guy that comes close enough to lick my boots it was like literally like

Speaker 1 i'm like thanks

Speaker 4 He basically told the whole crowd that I wasn't going to be as good, even remotely as good as him.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 3 I was just like,

Speaker 4 I want to be like, did you prepare that? Or was that

Speaker 4 top of your head? Like, that you just think things like that? I would never do that to anybody.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 4 This is the fucked me up for like seven minutes. And then I was like, then I was mad at myself going, why did I just let him get away with that? I should have at least said something.

Speaker 4 And then, yeah, and then it fucked up like the next few minutes. And then he ended up being right.

Speaker 1 dude.

Speaker 4 I was thinking about what he said.

Speaker 5 Dude, that might have been psychological warfare. That might have been the plan.

Speaker 4 Oh, dude, it was a fucking good one. I was just like,

Speaker 4 but it was like, dude, it was the same thing. Like, what that kid said.
It was like, so, like, is was he joking? Like, do people like literally?

Speaker 4 Okay, you think that shit, but you to be also so unaware to say it out loud?

Speaker 5 No, that's one of the most narcissistic, crazy. I mean, the fact that somebody thinks you're fucking around is how wild it is.

Speaker 5 I'm jealous of you, dude. He goes, what?

Speaker 5 You got to see what I just did.

Speaker 1 Hey, you know,

Speaker 4 all three of you guys, because you guys got to hear my conspiracy theories about the NFL, you know, I wish that I could have been you

Speaker 4 telling you what really goes on behind closed doors with people.

Speaker 5 You know, Bill, Bill, Andrew, and Jake, I'm jealous that you guys got to watch me give my picks as I was giving them. I'm jealous that you got to hear me think them out and say them.
I can't believe

Speaker 6 beat the book for three, four years in a row.

Speaker 4 I'm just jealous that you got to experience an evening with me.

Speaker 4 One of the greatest one-bedroom apartments you're ever going to be in in your life.

Speaker 5 Dude, I'm going to say that to my wife next time we get a little frisky. As soon as we're done, I'm going to go, I'm jealous of you.

Speaker 5 You just got to have me do that to you. I wish I could have.

Speaker 4 Oh, because when you sit there at brunch and listen to all your friends

Speaker 4 about their husbands, you're going to sit there and have nothing to say.

Speaker 4 Because there's no way after what I just did to you, you would have any

Speaker 4 sort of a complaint.

Speaker 5 All right. Oh, that's great.
All right, everybody.

Speaker 4 Bronze that apartment when you leave, be like, it's unrentable. Like, you know, they retire a jersey.
They're going to retire his apartment.

Speaker 1 They've only done that to three apartments.

Speaker 4 Unknown Burt Reynolds,

Speaker 4 unknown Brad Pitt, and unknown Jake the Snake.

Speaker 4 Certain apartments, after the legendary acts that happened in there, just have to be retired.

Speaker 4 Injury reports. You know, he's as always, as always, the MVP.

Speaker 6 Thank you. Thank you.

Speaker 5 I could see Jake the Snake at a bar in Hollywood, and some chick comes up and she goes, Are you Jake the Snake from anything better? He just gets cool. He goes, depends who's asking.

Speaker 4 If you want me to be,

Speaker 1 are you injuring your voice?

Speaker 4 Hey, I'm the fucking, I'm becoming the Bobby Bonilla of this podcast.

Speaker 5 Dude, Bobby Bonilla just got his last year's check.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 That was it.

Speaker 6 I should have send him again.

Speaker 4 I got the Allen Houston contract.

Speaker 5 I got a million bucks for like 30 years.

Speaker 4 Dude, what is with New York and these fucking like never-ending contracts? It's amazing.

Speaker 5 Stupid.

Speaker 5 It's so stupid, man.

Speaker 5 That Juan Soto, $760 million for a fucking position player.

Speaker 1 Because Jones fucking eight. You guys throw it around, Paul.

Speaker 4 Hey, New York, you know, you guys like to spend.

Speaker 5 All right, guys, to get the, you guys know what to do, to sign up and to have fun. Obviously, bet responsibly, but get the best app out there.
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Speaker 4 Hey, I just saw the Chiefs. Vegas just took the Chiefs game off the board.

Speaker 4 They just took it. You can't bet it.
It's just too fucking obvious. Everybody knows they're going to win.

Speaker 6 Go out to the bills, though.

Speaker 1 You know what I'm doing here, Paul?

Speaker 4 I'm trying to jinx them.

Speaker 5 I hope so.

Speaker 4 I have no idea how bad I want to be wrong about all of this.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 5 I just want to see Josh Allen run off that field like this with his long hair on his way back to Buffalo. Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Both games had the same over-under, which I thought it was 47 and a half. Caught my eye, obviously.

Speaker 1 And I like.

Speaker 5 And I like Mahomes and Kelsey. Like, they seem like the refs did this.
The refs did this.

Speaker 6 Yeah, I don't like either of them.

Speaker 4 Independently, you think they did? They didn't.

Speaker 4 It's a marketing plan.

Speaker 5 But this shit, this whole, that shit, done.

Speaker 5 Done.

Speaker 1 Nah.

Speaker 5 How great. What would you do if it was like 34 to 10?

Speaker 5 Andy Reid's a great coach, too.

Speaker 1 All right. Anyway.

Speaker 4 I like Andy Reid. I like all that shit, but I also like football, Paul.
I like football.

Speaker 4 May the best team win.

Speaker 5 Well, last question here: there's a light flag.

Speaker 5 Did the Washington Commanders beat the Lions because they're that good, or did the Lions just have a bad day? Because if the Commanders beat them outright, Philly could lose, which I'm excited to see.

Speaker 4 Paul, the Lions are in the Bermuda Triangle.

Speaker 4 Minnesota.

Speaker 1 I like that.

Speaker 4 Chicago, back up to Minnesota. You do not want to be rooting for football within that triangle.

Speaker 5 Did you come up with that? The Bermuda triangle? That's great.

Speaker 4 Oh, but that's what it is.

Speaker 1 It's the Bermuda triangle.

Speaker 5 That's the NFL's triangle.

Speaker 4 It is the level of suffering.

Speaker 4 Like the AFC has the Buffalo Bills and the Chargers.

Speaker 1 All right? Jets.

Speaker 6 Jets, too.

Speaker 4 Oh, and the Jets.

Speaker 4 That's sort of an isosceles. That's a weird-looking triangle.

Speaker 4 I don't know. But it's the fact that they're all in the same division, although the Jets and Bills are in that division.

Speaker 4 What about the Dolphins, by the way?

Speaker 4 Dolphins. They've been living off that undefeated season since 72.
They haven't won in over 50 years.

Speaker 4 They won three years. The last time they won was three years after the only time the Jets won.

Speaker 5 All right, let's talk about, real quick, before we leave, let's talk about the longest droughts in the NFL right now. You got the Cowboys, you have the Miami Dolphins,

Speaker 6 real quick, the Dolphins have the longest playing route in the league.

Speaker 4 What? Get to all the fucking Cowboys in there.

Speaker 4 You got to go back 50 years with all these other guys.

Speaker 1 All right, Jets.

Speaker 1 Super Bowl or playoffs?

Speaker 5 No, no, no. Super Bowl win.
Jets 69.

Speaker 5 Miami, 72.

Speaker 4 Bills, never.

Speaker 1 They won a

Speaker 4 title in like 60 or 61.

Speaker 5 Bills, never. Detroit Lions?

Speaker 1 Never. So Cardinals, 70.
Yeah, Cardinals, 77 seasons without a Super Bowl. Detroit Lions, 66 seasons.
The Vikings, 60, 63.

Speaker 5 Oh, Cleveland Browns. Cleveland Browns.

Speaker 1 60. Cleveland Browns next.
They're 60. Oh, no, no.

Speaker 4 That's technically not true because that franchise is the Ravens.

Speaker 1 Oh, that's right. But what it is, is Cleveland.

Speaker 4 This is the most Cleveland story ever. When the Cleveland Browns won a Super Bowl, they did it in Baltimore.

Speaker 4 I mean, that's hard, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 And then Atlanta, 59 seasons. Tennessee Titans, 59 seasons.
But again, that's the Titans. You got to.
The Oilers, the LC Houston Oilers. Yeah.

Speaker 1 The Buffalo Bills, 58 seasons.

Speaker 3 Wow.

Speaker 3 That's an honest.

Speaker 1 That's an honest 58 seasons. The Chargers, 58.

Speaker 4 They're counting them during the NFL-AFL merger.

Speaker 1 Right. So that's what they're counting.

Speaker 4 They're going back to Super Bowl one. They've never won one, right? But like their last winning a title was like early 60.
John F. Kennedy was in office.

Speaker 1 Wow.

Speaker 4 Time the fucking Lions won it. Bobby Lane.
I don't think Eisenhower had been elected yet.

Speaker 4 Truman might have still been president. I'm not sure about that.

Speaker 1 Yeah, Chargers, then Bengals, then Jets, 56 seasons.

Speaker 5 And then, and then the Carolina Panthers and the Jaguars were the expansion team in 95, and they haven't done it, right?

Speaker 1 Jaguars been 30 years,

Speaker 1 Panthers 30 years, Niners, 30 years, Cowboys, 29, Texans, Cold Saints.

Speaker 6 But the Dolphins are the longest playoff drought, yeah.

Speaker 4 Well, you got to understand, like,

Speaker 4 those early,

Speaker 4 like, right up until like fucking

Speaker 4 say the Cowboys run

Speaker 1 51.

Speaker 4 All right, like, so few teams, like the Packers had two. Steelers had four.

Speaker 4 49ers had four.

Speaker 4 Cowboys had four. They were just eating them up.
The fucking Redskins had three. Raiders had three.

Speaker 4 So all of a sudden, like those first 30 fucking Super Bowls were shared, it seemed, between a half dozen teams, and everybody else was on the outs.

Speaker 5 Yeah, I saw a trivia question yesterday that said, what's the only NFL team to win in

Speaker 5 four different decades?

Speaker 1 Might be the

Speaker 1 Packers.

Speaker 5 No, the answers a lot of people were saying were those and the Broncos, but it's the Giants. The Giants did it in 86, they did it in 91, they did it in 07, and they did it in 11.

Speaker 4 That was a self-serving stat, but I'll give it to you.

Speaker 5 No, no, I'm just saying it was a thing that just comes up.

Speaker 3 I mean,

Speaker 1 who am I?

Speaker 1 I would have said it if it was another team.

Speaker 5 I would have said it if it was another team.

Speaker 1 So, for the to Jake, to answer your question, the longest playoff drought, if this

Speaker 1 fucking AI answer is correct here, it says

Speaker 1 just the regular search. It says New York Jets, 15 seasons, last appearance, 2010.

Speaker 1 That's when they beat the Patriots, I believe.

Speaker 1 Oh, my God. Yeah.

Speaker 4 Oh, Tom Brady's career.

Speaker 1 That's Rex Ryan.

Speaker 5 That was the Rex Ryan. That was 2000.
That's the last time they've been in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 Wasn't that Mark Sanchez, right?

Speaker 6 It was.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 5 The Jets haven't even been a wild card in 15 years.

Speaker 5 Dude.

Speaker 4 Paul, I got to be honest with you. In a lot of ways,

Speaker 4 that Jet loss hurt just as much as those Cowboy, the Giants ones, because he talked all of this shit. I'm not going up there to kiss their rings.

Speaker 4 And we absolutely destroyed him like 52 to something in December. And then

Speaker 4 Welker said, boy, we're going to put our best foot forward making fun of how Rex Ryan's in defeat and then Belichick benched him and we just started off no pun intended on the wrong foot

Speaker 4 and they and they had that great they had that great defense

Speaker 4 and they came in and they beat us in fucking in Foxborough that was a brutal brutal loss wow so Jake the Dolphins that looks like they went a few years back so they're not

Speaker 1 they haven't won a playoff game since 2000, but they've been. That's what I meant.
Yeah. Okay.
Yeah. Yeah, they get like a drought pass.

Speaker 5 The Dolphins get like a pass. Nobody talks about them not winning a lot.

Speaker 1 Some of those are Raiders.

Speaker 4 Fucking undefeated season. They keep getting their balls washed about that every year.

Speaker 1 But they also had a lot of good years with Marino, like competing.

Speaker 1 So I think that's why it feels.

Speaker 5 Yeah.

Speaker 6 Depends on who you ask. I mean, we're a little older.

Speaker 5 It's a long time ago, though, but like, I didn't realize that they, I mean, dude, 2000 was the last time they were in the playoffs.

Speaker 1 The 90s were just yesterday. Or what playoff win?

Speaker 4 Yeah, and they haven't won a Super Bowl, dude, in 53 years.

Speaker 5 Dude, if the Buffalo Bills win, fucking the Buffalo's going to burn down.

Speaker 5 And then,

Speaker 5 dude, I don't even know if the, dude, you know how many people are at the airport rooting them on?

Speaker 5 It's like the whole fucking town goes to the airport while they're just to watch them get on the plane. How bad, I want them to win, dude.

Speaker 1 Yeah.

Speaker 1 Like, they give a shit.

Speaker 4 Tourism, dude.

Speaker 3 What that's so bad for tourism, that stat, that the whole town is there.

Speaker 4 It's just clearly saying there's absolutely nothing to do here other than to root for the bills,

Speaker 5 dude. The coach came off the plane.
He couldn't believe it. It was like Buffalo was at the airport by like where the plane landed.
They're just going nuts.

Speaker 5 And I was like, holy shit, man, those people are virtual reality glasses.

Speaker 4 Actually, seeing Niagara Falls was an amazing thing. And now,

Speaker 4 dude, have you seen these fucking guys? they have these things these guys make these things i mean the system is like 40 50 grand i think rogan got one where you can

Speaker 4 you feel like you're in a formula one race like the screen is all the way around you dude they have it for like

Speaker 4 like aviation and i'm watching this guy i'm like this guy is flying a fucking helicopter

Speaker 4 that's nuts it's it's like to the point where you could almost log the hours it's that real

Speaker 4 does do it do they count as hours for real or no um i know like when guys are uh i think when

Speaker 4 those professional ones not the one that you have in your house i believe

Speaker 4 somebody i'm sure plenty of people know more about this than i do but i think on when you're becoming like a pilot for united or something like that you i think you're allowed to log some of those

Speaker 4 um what do they call it the simulator miles into your book i believe because they're that good at this point but i don't know i still don't see how that they could duplicate a fucking process.

Speaker 5 Dude, it's that bit. It's that bit that I did.
That pilot came up to me, all happy, joking pilot in at JFK. And he was like, We're starting to build a rapport.
He like taps me on the thing.

Speaker 5 I swear to God, he was a happy guy, like overweight, it's hilarious. This guy, and he just goes, dude, you know where I learned? I swear, he was talking to me like this.
He goes, you know what?

Speaker 5 I learned to do this? I fucking have like a Delta pin or whatever, America, whatever it was. And he goes, do video games.
He goes, it's the exact same thing. It's the exact same thing, dude.

Speaker 5 I did a joke in my bit, and I was just going, he goes, Yeah, he goes, It's all the technology's nuts.

Speaker 1 That's what

Speaker 4 exact same thing, dude. And I was just like, You don't have, I could die.

Speaker 5 That's that's yeah, you don't have that.

Speaker 4 There's that, and then this

Speaker 4 fighting a crosswind and crabbing in in a fucking, you know, in your goddamn, you know, inside the buttons may be the same, the buttons and all the things, the instruments may be the same, but that doesn't mean this is hey, Paul.

Speaker 4 You know, I became a Green Beret

Speaker 4 PlayStation,

Speaker 4 exact same thing,

Speaker 4 Paul. I've been to Iraq in my living room.

Speaker 5 You know how many throats I slit?

Speaker 1 In that case, I'd like to say I am a Jedi. In that case,

Speaker 5 you're a Jedi. He's a Jedi in a video game.

Speaker 4 No, but I know what they're saying as far as like, you know,

Speaker 4 it's weird. It's like, you know how to do it, but then you have to relearn how to do it for real.
But it's like, you know, it's like the steering wheel, gas pedal, all of that shit's there.

Speaker 4 And how you ship, they make the cockpit the exact same. So you know where all the shit is and what the buttons do, but then you do still have to learn how to do it for real.

Speaker 5 Did you ever hear Mark Wahlberg talk about he was supposed to be on that 9-11 plane? And he goes, If I was on it, dude, I'm stopping. He goes, I'm stopping it.

Speaker 5 He goes, it's not happening if I'm on it. He was dead.
It was, you know, how jealous I am of you.

Speaker 5 All right, guys. We will see you one more week, Super Bowl week.

Speaker 5 We will be back. Enjoy the championship games and we'll see you next time.
Bet responsibly. Have a good time.