Monday Morning Podcast 1-20-25

Hey, what's going on?

It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday,

January 20th, 2025.

What's going on?

Hawaii!

How's it going?

Oh, it's a great day.

It is a great day.

Blue skies, at least in this part of LA.

The winds are going to be kicking up again out in the valley.

And, um,

you know, for those of you who want to know what the valley is, because you always hear that, you know, the valley.

That's like when I lived in New York and I would always hear the Cross Bronx Expressway or that fucking one that was out in Brooklyn.

I finally one day was just like, where the fuck is that?

And I'm so sick of hearing that on the news.

All right, so the valley, sometimes called North Hollywood or No-Ho.

Nobody calls it that until real estate agents, like when once your neighborhood gets named, that means you're not going to be able to afford it anymore.

I knew a guy who fucking lived somewhere and out of nowhere.

There was one like diagonal street in his neighborhood and out of nowhere.

The real estate agent started calling it the golden triangle.

He's like, wait, I don't have any gold.

What?

All right, buddy.

Pack it up.

Pack it up.

You're out of here.

So anyway, the valley,

if you come out here to wonderful L.A.,

is

basically

it's surrounded on all sides by mountains.

Okay, I know this is basic geography, but that's basically what

for years.

People like, I lived out here and I didn't even understand.

Oh, the valley gets a little hotter.

I didn't understand.

It's the air goes down and it just sits there.

It has no access to the winds coming off the ocean.

You got the Santa Monica Mountains cut off Malibu.

So out in like Ventura, not Ventura, sorry, Venice, Santa Monica, Malibu, all along the coast, it can be anywhere from 10, 15, 20 degrees cooler than it is in the valley.

The air just friggin' sits there.

And the way through is the Coanga Pass.

or up the five.

So if you look at your maps where you see Hollywood and then where you see North Hollywood, just note that on all those sides out towards like

Camarillo, there's mountains.

And there was also a place out there where they used to test nuclear weapons

before there was people living out there.

And all these years later, they still, like, there's a higher level of birth defects out there.

It's fucking, they never cleaned it up, of course.

They never fucking do anything.

So anyway, the winds are going to be

up that way.

And that's where I fly out of.

So I'm kind of keeping an eye on that.

I mean, what am I going to do?

I guess fly my helicopter.

I'll just land it somewhere else.

My little two-seater?

Then that's another thing, too.

If the winds get too bad, I can't fly in that shit.

I'll get slapped out of the sky.

And then what do I do?

Do I think that I'm going to get the insurance money?

All the claims that are out here?

Then I, you know, whatever.

Anyway, plowing ahead

so uh

it's also my daughter's birthday today very proud of her and uh every year i make her a cake so this year she wanted like this multicolored cake and she wants like candy in it so i'm on youtube trying to fucking figure out how to do this i am going to have help a friend of mine is going to help me out um

because once you start like

everything has changed Okay, I'm telling you, as you get older, everything's going to fucking change.

And just accept it and know that a cake is not a cake anymore.

A cake is also a candy bar.

There's just like a zillion different layers and colors and all of this shit.

When I was a kid, it was fucking, it was a yellow cake chocolate frosting.

Here you go.

Here you go.

Now it's, I want a teenage mutant ninja fucking themed.

All right, all right, cool.

So anyway, I had a

I had a fucking amazing day yesterday, but let's talk some of this.

Playoff, playoff football.

The Bills win, and the Ravens just repeatedly, I can't, you know, there's a lot being made about the Ravens and their turnovers, and nobody's saying how the Bills forced.

I mean, that kid, a poor kid dropped that ball.

And I say that poor kid because who, you know, you got to have empathy for that kid because there's so many fucking people out there who don't like their lives and are going to take out the fact that they don't like their lives on that kid.

What I liked about what I saw from the Bills was not their offense.

It was their defense.

The fact that they were forcing turnovers

the way they did against a very good Ravens team.

I mean, I don't know.

When I was a kid, that's the kind of thing that won a championship.

Like, you couldn't just have a, you know, these guys sign, like, like, take the Washington Commanders.

Everyone's freaking out because they beat the Lions, but it's like, dude, you had to score 48 fucking points to win that game.

You know, their offense is unstoppable.

Next week, stoppable.

That's what I always found when I was growing up.

But they've made so many rule changes that I don't know if it matters anymore.

Like, I think if Dan Marino could take his Dolphins from back in the day with no defense,

and I think he could actually win one.

But back in the day, eventually what happened was you just ran into a shutdown defense, and then that was it.

So, anyway,

and then I saw the Eagles hanging on, the Rams come storming back.

That was a great game.

And then I got to be honest with you, I was watching the Chiefs game, and I just had to shut it off.

And this isn't some whining shit about all the fucking Chiefs and everything.

It's just, I just see the future of the NFL

when I was watching that.

We're just constantly cutting to Taylor Swift to get Swifties to watch the game.

And then she's sitting there.

I guess she was sitting there with some female athlete to promote her sport.

And with each one of those layers, the game just keeps moving, moving further, further, and further back.

To the point I'm like,

why do I have to see her reaction to all of these fucking plays?

It has no effect on the game, but what it's done, it's like, we have to show her.

We got it.

We have to show her because people who don't give a fuck about the game, but give a fuck about her, are going to turn it off.

It's a fucking entertainment league and all of that.

And then,

I don't know.

I will say this: as a Patriots fan, I'm getting a little tired of the comparison where they're like, oh, the Chiefs are the new Patriots getting all the calls.

I mean, guys, you just saw us.

Are you really going to say it's the same fucking thing?

Are you going to tell me in the future

the owner of like the losing team, the Ravens, is going to fucking conduct an independent investigation that is such a fucking bullshit case that when it's taken to court, the judge gets mad for wasting their time?

So the suspension is reversed, and then the NFL will plot to figure out a loophole to still suspend your quarterback.

That's going to happen?

Roger Goodell fucking hated us.

He fucking hated us.

And I don't know, like,

stars get calls, 100%.

Brady got calls.

But, like,

I want you to put together the highlight reel of us driving down to win a Super Bowl, you know, with that level of holding.

Show me the one where one of our guys takes his helmet off in the end zone, doesn't get an unsportsman, and is told to put it back on.

Show me the fucking highlight where the defensive coordinator screams and calls timeout.

I mean, the level of fucking holding,

people are making highlight reels after every game.

And I'm going to tell you this: the internet was around when we were playing, and people fucking hated us.

They weren't doing that.

What they kept, our storyline was they're cheaters, they're cheaters, they're cheaters.

The refs love Tom Brady.

That's the level it was.

It wasn't this shit, it wasn't the whole fucking team.

I mean, I don't know.

It's like egregious, but we as fans can stop it.

What you do is don't watch the Chiefs game

and then everybody go buy a Jaden Daniels jersey because that's what's going on right now because it's a fucking business.

All right.

And no one is playing the game at the Chiefs' levels.

Like it or not, they're not.

Last thing they need is the refs' fucking help.

No one's playing at that level.

Like, like, Patrick Mahomes has no rival.

So they got all their eggs in that basket.

And

it's a fucking business.

It's a business.

It's no different than the NBA's panic when Michael Jordan retired for the second time.

And they were like, oh, my God, what the fuck are we going to do?

And then they just ushered in the era of the super team, which I feel like they're finally getting out of a little bit.

I felt that was a really...

bad like 20 years of sort of

just

more often than not like pile on champions but um

it felt good i just shut the chiefs game off it's like this is just going to upset me watching what they've done to this game

um and the way the game used to be played and like

you know

i mean put it this way that there's a famous story of uh

Joe Montana on that final final drive against the Bengals when he won his fourth and final Super Bowl.

And they were in the huddle and he goes, Oh, look at it.

Look at the crowd.

There's John Candy.

You know what I mean?

And the only reason why I know John Candy was there is because the other players told the story.

They weren't cutting to John Candy every five seconds.

Oh my god, that's a guy from Space Balls.

And yes, I am putting John Candy in the same level as fucking Taylor Swift.

All right?

There was Swifties, there was Candy's.

Anyway,

I will say this, and I know you're not going to think I'm

unbiased here, but I will say what is going on during Kansas City football games is

at best bizarre and coincidental all the way to absolutely egregious.

So

I'm just not watching their shit.

I'm going to watch the NFC championship game because it's still football and I kind of like college hoop is what I've been watching because that looks like the basketball that I remember.

And, you know, don't get mad at me.

All right.

Old people like me, we get scared when things change.

And,

you know,

no one listens to you past a certain age.

I mean, I'm not to the age, and I've never been at the age.

I will never wear pajama bottoms outside of my house.

To me, that either says you've quit or you are completely self-involved.

You know what I mean?

Just like looking for attention.

Like, you ever see people get on a plane wearing pajama bottoms?

They should just throw them down with the luggage.

It's like, why are you lowering yourself to this airline's level?

I know they're treating you like shit, but that doesn't mean you got to just give in

and do the fashion equivalent to how they're going to fucking treat you on this flight like a fucking baby.

i mean why don't you just come on with like a fucking stuffed animal while you're at it um

anyway so it's uh

how about the fucking lions

dude they used to call that the fucking uh the black and blue division i guess they're calling it the purple heart or something for their fans i don't think anybody fucking

Like just

every, I don't know, every time the fucking Vikings have an unbelievable record, first round, gone.

Oh, no, they went to the NFC championship game against the Falcons.

But how many fucking decades are they going to do that for?

The Lions had the 49ers fucking beat, and they go for it on fourth down.

Lose the momentum, never got it back.

You come back the next fucking year.

I don't know.

That game was crazy.

I was watching my kids, and it was an even game.

And then I come back, and the fucking Washington had scored 28 points in the second half.

And then

I watched some more of the game.

Whenever I was watching the game, it wasn't crazy.

And then the Lions came back, and I go, oh, they're going to get him.

They're going to get him.

Commanders are too young.

They don't know how to win yet.

This will be their one scared thing.

And they can build off of this scare and win the following week and get to the Super Bowl.

That's what I was thinking how it was going to play out.

I walked out, read my son a book before he went to bed, and I came back and all of a sudden the Commanders had 48 fucking points and the Lions were still coming back.

So anyway, that kid, Jaden Daniels, man,

is not only great for Commanders fans, but he's amazing for the NFL.

And hopefully.

You know, I just wish he was in the same conference as Mahomes because something has to balance those guys out

because it's gotten

crazy.

I know you guys are thinking, like, yeah, it's not that crazy.

It's like, no, it is crazy.

It is crazy.

Taking a helmet off in front of the whole fucking stadium, and the guy goes, put the fucking helmet back on.

I mean, that like that level of shit.

And you can gamble on sports right there at the

level that it's changed is insane.

So,

I don't know, but I do know it's not the Chiefs' fault.

But I definitely think Patrick Mahomes senses something's going on with that soccer flop he did.

Thank God

they didn't give him the flag on that.

But Jesus Christ, the fuck was that?

He did everything but throw a purse in the air.

I don't remember.

I don't remember football being like this, but

yeah,

it's obviously still a great game, and it's obviously the athletes are still incredible, and they're the fucking greatest.

Every generation gets a little better than the other one.

So I think these are the greatest guys to ever play it.

As far as like just the physical ability,

that fucking Saquon Barkley, every year there's some fucking like, I didn't know human beings could do that

play, that thing where he jumped backwards or whatever the hell he did.

Always seems to be that.

And then what's his face?

Did that one-handed catch

that's still the greatest catch of all time for the Giants?

I'm spacing on his name.

But now, like, kids see that.

Now they just do it.

They still haven't done it as good as that one.

Oh my God, why don't I not remember his name?

And he went to the Browns because I'm fucking old.

Dude, he was like completely laid out, being interfered with.

The other guy is holding his other arm

and he reaches back all the way back behind his head with one hand.

It was like special effects.

And

ever since he's done that, I've seen like a dozen people

do something

like never as good as him, but like

in that level.

So I'm not shitting on like the athlete's level of competition, but like

I don't know.

I think it's it's it's becoming wrestling.

And they're all labeled sports entertainment.

So it's a little bizarre.

So

that's what I've been doing.

I've just been watching College Hoop and my College Hoop team for whatever reason is the Kansas Jayhawks.

And I watched a little bit of them versus Kansas State.

And I was like, you know what?

Why don't I ride with this for a while?

I'll just look up what they think they got.

The next game is

Wednesday or something.

Maybe they have a game before that.

I don't know.

That is a bucket list thing.

I want to go to a Kansas Jayhawks

basketball game.

And I've been telling my,

I almost said my coach.

How much am I an armchair quarterback?

My agent.

I've been telling my agent that forever we haven't been able to make that happen.

And I still, you know, I'm trying to go to a home game of all the pro teams.

I still have three left.

I have never, and they're all hockey.

I haven't been to a Seattle Kraken,

the Utah fucking hockey team, whatever the hell they're calling them, the Utah Mormons.

And I have never been to the Carolina Hurricanes.

So I need to go to

I need to go to,

I don't know, eventually I'll get to it.

Whatever.

I got kids.

I got priorities there.

Now, speaking of having kids, I rode a motorcycle yesterday.

I took the Halford.

That's what I call it.

The Rob Halford.

Because when I saw Judas Priest, he rode a fucking motorcycle out on stage that was all black.

So

I got that Harley-Davidson

Road Glide CVO, all in black with the red highlights there on the engine.

And I love that bike, and it scares the fucking shit out of me.

You know, I never rode a twin before.

It's fucking as big as your mother's ass.

So, I mean, I get intimidated.

I always get intimidated.

But then after like, like 20 minutes on it, I'm like, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

This isn't the Spruce Goose.

This is a fucking Cadillac.

This is fantastic.

So,

you know, I rode with Dean as I always do.

We rode up into the canyons and,

you know.

I've gotten to the point, it's like when I drive like a car that's a stick where I can hear from the engine, you know what I mean?

Where before I was, so I'm going into this turn.

this turn is, you know, this much of a bank.

I should be in this gear.

So I was like quickly glancing down.

I'm like, I shouldn't be doing that, but I was.

So now I just don't have to do that anymore.

And I just all of a sudden,

it's like being able to stick handle without looking at the puck.

All of a sudden, you look up, the game just changes.

It moves faster or whatever, and everything.

So I was able to, like, all of a sudden, it's like, oh, I can just,

I know what this bike's doing now.

Something clicked,

and

I don't know.

How do I describe it?

It was exhilarating.

It was fucking amazing.

You know, it's amazing is after a ride

or flying a helicopter, this is such a feeling of accomplishment.

And then there's also this thought of, like, hey, I did that, and I didn't die.

That's fucking amazing.

I mean, aviation is not that it's so safe.

And then, like,

what I learned from aviation is, and one of the things that I love the most about aviation is

getting the odds the most in your favor, whatever the situation is, right?

Like, when you transition along the 101,

you know, through Van Nuys airspace, they usually give you

an altitude you can't be higher than, right?

Which I haven't done in a minute.

I think it's like literally like 900 feet or something like that.

But sometimes the airport isn't busy and they just let you go through.

And if they don't give you the minimum altitude, then you can fly whatever you want.

So then fly higher

because you'll have more options and more time if you had an engine failure to pick a spot and just doing shit like that.

You know what I mean?

I,

if I'm coming in to land at an airport and the wind seems strong and it's gusting and everything, when you know, I go off the taxiway

and

if they have me, you know, I hate when they, with helicopters, they'll do this all the time.

Like, where you're going to land, say, is,

well, it's just say taxiway alpha.

They have you get off at Bravo.

So then you have to do a 180 and turn around.

And now you've got the wind behind you.

So you don't have as much lift.

So all you have to do is just you just fly super slow and then also three feet off the ground

um so you can just enter a hover auto um where an air taxi if you're gonna fly faster you don't you're not three feet off the ground you're like 50 feet off the ground because then you would you would enter your um your flare

you know if you're going 50 knots and if you were trying to like do like a running landing you would probably flip the the chances of flipping it over would be huge so just knowing all of those little things

so through that

learning all of that

in aviation i just apply those same things to riding a motorcycle where it's like i refuse to ride a motorcycle around la i'm not doing it everybody's staring at their phones so I just ride in the canyons, but I have to, but it's only three miles of exposure.

So I always ride with somebody else

and I do it on a day like Sunday was perfect.

Everybody was home watching the football.

There was nobody on the road.

And yeah, three miles.

So it's just basically five minutes.

I'm driving amongst other people and then I'm into the canyons and then I'm good.

So

yeah, we rode up there and we just had we had a

We had a fucking great time, man.

It's there's no

There's nothing like it.

There's nothing fucking like it.

Um, but anyway, and I also have not been smoking.

My daughter's on me.

She told me the pipe counts.

Can't smoke a pipe.

So

I am like eight or nine days in,

and

I just won't smoke until like April.

And then she goes, You can have, she always goes, you can have five cigars, and then you have to do like another hundred.

So that's that's not bad, right?

Probably says something about me that I had to turn the keys over to a now eight-year-old

to tell me

how to handle my life.

But you know, what are you going to do?

So, anyway,

all right, let's get into the

let's get into the reads.

And then I got this email that you got to hear this fucking thing.

You know, I did the Kimmel show, and this fucking person just destroyed me in this email.

You got to listen.

You got it.

You don't have to, but if you'd like to.

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All right, let's get to this.

This, the first thing I want to read.

This is

after I did

the Jimmy Kimmel show.

This woman writes to me.

She writes, donate to victims, clown.

That's the headline.

And then she goes, yeah, go on the CIA Kimmel

Aparachik show, whatever the hell that means.

I just love that she started,

she started her email with the word, yeah, like we were already in an argument.

Yeah, go on the CIA Kimmel show.

Put down concerned people

who just happen to care.

Stand with the liberal elite.

Vote Kamala.

Where's the joy, Bill?

Can I ask you a question?

When the fuck did I do any of that?

Okay, instead of dissing people who are rightfully outraged about the liberal elite tone-deaf DEI, which means diversity, equality, and inclusivity, I think, insanity.

Why not go help people suffering?

Or are you concerned your manicure might suffer?

I, okay, this is the credibility.

I was a lifelong Democrat until 2016 when Killery stole the primary from Bernie.

I and so many others are fucking sick of Democrats, Hollywood CIA operatives, and all other media bullshit.

Keep having fun with the intelligence community, Bill.

Okay, now in defense of me, I went out there and I was deliberately apolitical.

I was trying to bring people together because once again, just like in the pandemic, I was watching something be politicized that didn't need to be politicized.

All right, like,

I don't even know where to begin with this thing.

Okay?

Instead of dissing people who are rightfully outraged, you're not rightfully outraged.

You don't give a fuck about the victims.

What you want to do is pin this on a Democrat because you're a 24-hour news junkie.

And I know you are because you're using all of that speak, Killer.

I was a lifelong Democrat until 2016 when Killery stole the primary from Bernie.

So that means if you're a lifelong Democrat, then you voted for Bill Clinton for two fucking terms.

And that whole fucking conspiracy theory about them killing people existed back then.

And then secondly, Hillary didn't steal the primary from Bernie.

It was worse.

The people voted that they wanted Bernie to represent the Democratic Party, and the Democratic Party said, fuck you, we're giving it to Hillary.

And then in 2020, the people again said, we want Bernie, and the Democratic Party said, fuck you, to their own fucking base.

You're getting forgetful Freddy.

And then this past election, you got forgetful Freddie until the fourth quarter, and then they wheel out Kamala.

You also didn't choose them.

So if you're a Democrat, you've got to be wondering what the fuck is going on with my party.

We used to at least get to choose who was going to lie to us for four years.

And then, lastly, suggesting that Jimmy Kimmel is smart enough to be a fucking CIA operative.

All right, I know that man personally, okay?

He doesn't even pick out his suits.

He just walks in.

He has a little propeller hat on and a little, one of those little hoodsies, you know, chocolate and vanilla.

And under his arm, he has a VHS tape of that home run he hit in the celebrity softball game.

That's basically 90% of his personality.

No, I'm kidding.

I love Jimmy.

Ma'am,

like,

I didn't write back to this person because I feel like they're too far down the rabbit hole.

This is literally what I'm trying

to not be a part of and not to feed.

And if you look, if you watch what I said on that thing,

I was talking about the fire department and the Department of Water, Power and Water and Power, whatever it is.

They did a great fucking job in the worst conditions possible.

And for as many houses and everything that was lost, so few people lost their lives.

And that's due to them and the whole system that warned people to get the fuck out of there.

All right.

And as far as like blaming, and then somebody takes my clip and goes, Bill supports Gavin Newsom.

I couldn't pick that guy out of a fucking lineup.

I don't watch politics.

I barely watch sports now.

Okay, I'm slipping off into the fucking abyss.

But what I can tell you is that when I was a kid, this country collectively, we hated the Russians.

Now, all of a sudden, people hate states.

They hate California.

If you're from Florida, I don't like you.

Or you're from Texas.

Or you're from Manhattan, New York City, I don't like you.

It's fucked.

These fucking assholes at the top are dividing the locker room.

And if you listen to them, this is the result, is you become this person

who is overtly making all of, they're making this fire political.

And it's just like, first of all, if you really want to look at L.A.,

you know,

if you want to dip your toe into the history of L.A.

and but you don't want a bunch of dry reading, watch the movie Chinatown.

All right, this city shouldn't be here.

This city is a disaster waiting to happen at any moment.

And that started, I don't know how long, 70, 80 fucking years ago.

We also at one point had the greatest public transportation out here.

Sorry, out in this country.

Sorry, New York City.

We were in the argument.

And then three corporations that were actually one pretended, you know, to be a different corporation.

The cars and the tire companies got together, they conspired, and they bought up all the trains, all the streetcars, and they ripped up the tracks.

Everybody knows this.

All right?

You have, we've known about global warming since the late 1950s.

These corporations have done everything they can to suppress that information, and now we're paying the price.

Okay?

So

we've all are a part of this mess.

It's not a red tie or a blue tie.

We are all responsible for this shit, and we need to all get on the same page and start working together instead of sending emails like this or hearing things

that people are saying that they're not even fucking saying.

Because I can tell you this.

This is the one thing that has been a constant my whole life.

Leaders lead.

Okay?

People who have ulterior motives or who are weak point fingers.

Okay?

And I don't want to get all fucking political, but you know, the new prom queen who's going to get crowned today

didn't even come out here.

And the first move was to be like, that's Newsom's fault.

And it's just like, okay, great, great.

This is like the worst fire in the history of LA.

And your solution is to make it political and divide people right down the middle.

I mean, it's just fucking.

Even after 9-11, Democrats knew to not be going like, well, George Bush should have fucking known the planes were coming, you know.

They didn't do shit like that.

They all got on the same page,

and then we started a never-ending war that bankrupted the country.

Anyway, so I read this thing because I thought it was, it was, it's funny and sad.

And then also

the nerve of this fucking person who I know is not going to donate one fucking dime to anybody

to suggest

that it's just, I don't know.

I know they don't fucking live here or any of that stuff.

This whole idea, people's just, their ideas of places, like liberals' ideas of Florida is through CNN's eyes.

And conservatives' ideas of California and New York is through Fox News' eyes.

And it's these, these people are not your friends.

Neither one of those channels are your friends.

I've been saying it for fucking ever.

I don't know what, I don't know what to tell you, but like

I actually go to all the states.

And that's what I was saying last week.

Go book a vacation in a state that you think you hate.

Go there open-minded and just say, I'm going to have a good time and I'm going to vibe with these people.

And I guarantee you, you know,

well, I can't say that about people who aren't white.

Sorry, I was in my white brain there.

As a white person, you can do that, though.

I've done it.

Anyway, look, my point basically is: if we don't all just start accepting the fact that

there's different points of views and stuff like that, we need to get back to common decency.

Like just the whole way that that person just talked to me.

There's no way they would take that tone to me face to face.

They just wouldn't.

Oh, no, it's a woman.

Yes, she would.

All right, forget that.

If it was a guy, though.

If it was a guy, you wouldn't.

Because it's like, as men, that's what's funny about men.

There always is a certain level of respect unless you're just looking for a fight.

Because there's always that thing in the back of your head.

I'm like, what if this guy starts swinging on me?

You know, does he

know some Kempo karate shit from fucking back in his Chuck Norris days?

I don't know.

What am I dealing with here?

CIA operative.

Incredible.

All right.

And the ironies of all ironies is

when I was reading the email, I didn't want to get into it.

What I was coming back from was the ironies of all ironies.

All right.

Whatever.

I'm not going to get into that.

Speaking of which, I'm going to be doing a benefit with Shane Gillis at the Will Turn on, I think it's January 27th.

And

the proceeds will obviously go to the people.

It's going to the people, man.

It's going to the people.

I hope so.

Hopefully, once it filters through the fucking infrastructure and everybody, I like going direct, to be honest with you.

I'm one of those, I like the direct.

I like to postmate

whatever I'm donating.

Just go right to the person.

Remember the pink lady?

That lady?

Oh my God, she made millions and millions of dollars dollars raising awareness that there was cancer.

Like we don't know that there's fucking cancer.

Anyway.

I want you guys, you know, when you go to a baseball game, if they want you to write down the name of the person that you know that either survived or lost a battle to cancer, please write thank you Roundup underneath it or thank you Monsanto.

I just want to see how quick, you know, the MLB cameras go off of you.

You got to start trolling them back.

You know what I mean?

Cancer has been around forever.

There's never been so much fucking cancer that, like, everybody in the crowd is holding up a fucking sign.

Jesus fucking Christ.

That's another thing that I can't stand about what they've done to the game.

It's like before the game even starts, the fucking fighter jets fly over the top, right?

You know, support the foreign policy, support the troops, join the military, right?

They get paid for that.

They get paid for that.

Then you fucking go to the game.

There's pop stars in the fucking crowd.

There's some stupid ass fucking bands got to play a goddamn song.

And on and on and on and on and on.

And all of this shoe the fuck sitting in the crowd, all of that fucking shit.

It's just like, and then who are they sitting with?

Oh, do they have a series coming out on the channel that's broadcasting this game?

All of that shit.

I've I've I've I've

and the game the game suffers.

All right, all right, shut up, Bill, you made your point.

All right, moving on.

All right, frog in LA.

Salo mon vieux, Guillain Burr.

Hello, my old Bill Burr.

And he spelt Burr like butter.

B-E-U-R-R-E.

Uh

I am a French father

of two boys.

What would you say?

Je sui français

je sui impère du français avec de garcon

vie à la

I live in LA, Venice.

I used to play the drums in a band back in Burgundy.

So your podcast is always hitting home.

Minus the anger issues, as I'm known to be quite even-tempered.

Oh, man, I wish I was that.

Fascinating.

And the fear of sharks.

Minus the, okay, minus the temper and the fear of shark because I like to surf.

That's amazing.

Dude, I just saw this fucking

old school guy walking up the street.

He has cotton like rust color, like almost like the commander's red sweatpants.

With sort of an off-blue sweatshirt.

Nothing even remotely matches.

And he's got his hands on his hips, and he's pushed up the sweatshirt that you can see his lower back like he's wearing a fucking half-shirt.

That's what people used to look like when they worked out before everybody came in dressed like a fucking X-Man.

You know, with your Alan Iverson sleeve, like you got to go to the rack.

All right.

Where am I here?

Have you heard of the French hard rock band Trust?

I think I have.

Or I might be

confusing that with Jeff Beck's album, Truth.

That seems familiar.

Somebody brought that up.

The singer was good friends with Bon Scott, and I think you would enjoy their struck.

Antisocial,

and then says Palace.

I don't know what that means.

Vate faire futre.

Let's go fuck yourself.

I don't know how to say the futre.

Vate faire futre.

Et merci porton

insu missions, your episodes, your podcast.

Well,

I'll check those guys out.

I've been listening to this band that I actually learned of a while ago,

and I finally got around to downloading their stuff.

I have no idea how to say

the band's name:

Karugbin, K-H-R-U-A-N-G-B-I-N.

Like, how that isn't the last name of a defenseman on the Red Wings is beyond me.

All right.

Yeah, I've been enjoying their music immensely.

But I will check out Trust.

All right, let's get back.

Let's get back to what the fuck.

Every time I go,

every time I go, the fucking shit.

Frog in L.A., okay, we go.

ACDC at the Hollywood Bowl.

What?

Hey, Bill, longtime listener.

First time writing in.

Was wondering wondering if you'll be taking your son,

who is a huge ACDC fan, to the Rose Bowls show on A.

Oh, the Rose Bowl.

It says Hollywood Bowl in the thing.

Rose Bowl Show on April 18th.

This might be one of the last chances to see his favorite band.

A side note, Oasis will be playing the Rose Bowl September 6th for their reunion.

Are you planning on going to that?

Thanks and much love to you and your family.

Unfortunately, I will be in New York

on April 18th, but I've given my wife instructions that she has to take him to that.

And she doesn't realize it's a non-negotiable.

Oh, God.

I fucking miss everything.

And even when I'm not like having something that's as long a commitment as this play, even if I'm just on the road,

it's just, there's always, I'll have like one gig that

on during a week and there'll be something I want to see and it's always that fucking thing.

It's always the day.

Oh well.

Yeah, that makes me sad.

Like if

this is the last

if this is the last run.

of that band, man.

I mean, Jesus Christ, Brian Johnson is going to be 80 in a few years.

All right, plowing ahead here.

Book suggestion: The CIA nukes and spying on African nations.

Hey, Billy Bookworm, I have a book suggestion that I think you'll be into.

Don't worry, you can find the audiobook so that you don't have to strain your aging eyes or lug around a physical book while you prance around on Broadway.

There, I actually have never done an audio book.

I don't want another man reading me a bedtime story.

In the past podcasts, you talked about electric car companies in the U.S.

and China scrambling for resources in Africa for batteries and the shitstorm that would ensue.

War accusations of terrorist plots and stealing the natural resources off of the people who would benefit the most from selling their own resource the legal way.

I present White Malice by Dr.

Susan Williams.

Oh, my God.

I already know what this is going to be about.

It's going to have my fucking head in the oven.

Because no matter how many truths she speaks, someone's going to be like, oh, this is just some woke shit.

And that'll be it.

Anyway, she goes into detail about the history of African independent movements in the 50s and 60s and how the U.S.

just couldn't keep their noses out of the game.

The same game going on now for battery and electronics resources was going going on just after World War II for uranium for nuclear weapons.

The constant fear of the Red Team, aka

Russia and China.

Having access to the same uranium and cobalt mines we have access to and building their own nukes.

Not only that, but holding ground in Africa was a big deal strategically for the United States.

The CIA had a big hand in shaping how...

Oh, well, then you go.

It's not just us.

We had to do it because the Russians and the Chinese were also doing doing it.

But why wouldn't they do it?

Because we just showed that we had no problem dropping a fucking nuclear weapon on Asia twice.

China and part of Russia are in Asia.

Violence begets violence.

Isn't that what they say?

The CIA had a big hand in shaping how these brand new nations were formed, influencing elections, carrying out assassinations, and experimenting on unwitting locals.

Some real Cold War bullshit.

Anyway, I hope

you give it a read.

It's written by an actual historian and not some oil crony or blue hair, so you can

be pretty sure of the sources.

Go thrust yourself.

Sincerely, listener.

All right.

Well, I'm finishing up Alex Van Halen's amazing book, and then I'll dig into that.

Oh, God.

That'll be some heavy fucking reading.

This is, you know, when you hear stuff like that,

like, I literally feel like

it's like there can't be a God.

There just can't be.

Like, when you see the people that are at the upper echelon of power in all the information that they have access to.

Which is everything in science, religion, and everything.

They would have all of the information.

Okay?

The way that they conduct themselves, there's no way that they're not going to burn in hell forever.

Yet they do it.

Why would they do it?

I don't get it.

I look at the Catholic Church and all the stuff that they say, and then I watch how they've conducted themselves.

And it's just like, all of you guys are going to go to hell doing this.

You're telling us, you know,

you know, during the week, if I go to some fucking titty bar

and go into the VIP room and get a fucking lap dance as a married man, I'm going to fucking burn in hell, da-da-da-da-da-da.

And then, meanwhile, you're in bed with the Nazis.

You're betting on them first.

You're playing both sides of the fence.

You're kind of okay with the fact, hey, they kill all these Jewish people.

That's one less religion to compete with.

Am I right?

You got pedophiles, you're hiding them.

I'm just talking about my religion because I don't know about the other ones, but like

I do know people are people, though.

People are people, so why don't we?

What is that?

People love people.

That's how it is.

People are people, so why can't you say?

Yeah, that's my

thing.

And I watch a president go, God, God bless the United States of America.

It's like, you really believe in God?

You really believe in God?

Because I think, you know, as much as we've,

or half of us like each president,

I mean, I don't know, the last one, two,

three, four, and then the sequel here.

Yeah, they're all, the rest of the world looks at them like war criminals.

I don't know.

I like Jimmy Carter.

I like a guy that goes with the people, and then when he's done, he doesn't go on some giant speech tour.

He fucking goes out and builds houses for homeless people well into his fucking 90s.

Well into his fucking 90s.

And you know what's amazing about him?

He was considered weak.

Then Reagan came in and took the solar panels off the top of the White House and drilled baby.

Ah, that guy's a man.

Man, he's a fucking actor.

And now George Herbert Herbert Walker, that guy was a man fighting flying combat missions at fucking 18 years old.

Coming back to the ship, he couldn't even talk until they gave him three belts of whiskey.

That's a fucking man.

And then they made him out to be like he was a pussy.

Not gonna do that.

Wouldn't be prudent at this juncture.

This guy will fucking strafe your whole family.

Oh, shit.

And Bill Clinton, I'm I'm just going to trash him all.

Bill Clinton, he looked like that guy that won like blue ribbons in like a barbecue contest, doesn't he?

I'm going to show you my rub.

Pork shoulder.

This reminds me of Monica's ass.

Then the next group, Bush and all of those fucking asses, they were just oilmen.

I don't consider them Republicans.

They were just oilmen.

And then you had Obama, and he came in.

He was like, oh,

he always sounded like the Aardvark to me on the Pink Panther.

And he was supposed to give us hope.

And the wars continued.

And, oh, that's another thing, too.

Like, you know, blaming 2008 on that moment.

It's like, no, you got to go back to Woodrow Wilson, the Federal Reserve,

all the way through up to Nixon.

Nixon was the guy that took us finally off the gold standard as we were working, inching our way towards that.

And then Bill Clinton took away like the last pieces of regulations on banks

that allowed some guy who was fucking selling shoes at athlete's foot to buy a fucking million-dollar house, which means instead of two people bidding on the house, now he had seven.

And the value of the other, right?

But who gets blamed?

I think Obama got blamed for that.

But welcome to a Democrat fucking world.

Morant.

Fucking mouth-breathing morons.

All right, I got to shut up.

All right?

But I I don't have a guest, so I have to keep talking.

TV show recommendation.

Dear Billy D Star Wars.

Ah, you should have gone with Billy D.

Billiam.

Billiams.

There's a great show on Disney Plus called Skeleton Crew.

It's basically Star Wars meets goonies, meets a few other 80s kid adventure movies.

I think your kids might like it and would be a good stepping stone for them into Star Wars and eventually hear about your character.

Oh, I think they say eventually hear me talking about making fun of Star Wars.

All right, that sounds cool.

On Disney Plus, it's called

Skeleton Crew.

All right, I mean, how do you keep up with how many fucking shows are out there?

Anyway, anyway,

that is the

podcast.

Playoff predictions.

I'm going to go out on a limb here and and say Chiefs win.

And whoever wins out in the West, the Chiefs are going to win.

So then the NFL, because I don't think anybody marketing-wise is going to be better than Travis Kelsey, Taylor Swift, and Patrick Mahomes, and a three-peat.

And, you know, they're an entertainment league.

So then they'll be like, the first team ever to win three Super Bowls in a row.

Is Patrick Mahomes the greatest quarterback of all time?

Um,

they're gonna, you know, then they can, they can just start that,

and everybody's just gonna be screaming and yelling.

I don't know if you've noticed this, but getting people to scream and yell at each other is a great way to get views, and it's a great way to make money.

I think that that's

that's what's happening.

Um,

Machiavellian, Machiavellianism.

Is that how you say it?

Like, I don't think anybody does it better than the new prom queen.

It's actually, I wanted to do a sketch on it.

It's kind of like Fent, like this amazing ability that he has.

He goes into a room and he makes a statement that perfectly divides everybody in the room.

They all yell at each other, and then he walks out.

It's like.

I don't think I've ever seen anybody better at it.

It's fucking amazing.

The Gulf of Mexico will now be called the Gulf of America, and then he just walks out.

And everybody, whoa, what the fuck?

We're going to build a wall, and Mexico's going to pay for it.

What the fuck?

He just walks out.

Oh.

like him or not, he's fucking hilarious.

Anyway, that's the podcast.

Go fuck yourselves.

And,

you know,

if you're sad today, be happy that the Biden era is over.

I mean, I don't care what you say.

You can't be excited about a warmonger with dementia.

So,

you know, hopefully that guy finally

gets to fucking chill out, the poor bastard.

And,

you know,

we'll do this.

We'll do this for the next four years.

Or he could be like me.

You know what?

I just don't watch.

I don't watch any of it.

And like,

that's what I've learned in my old age.

I've learned that yelling at the TV doesn't do anything, but shutting it off does.

I was watching the Chiefs game.

I was getting sad at what had happened to the game of football.

And I was like, like, wait a minute, I can just shut this off and I'll watch the highlights on ESPN later.

I'll just look at my phone.

Who won the game?

And I can go out and go fucking, I don't know, get a cup of coffee with a buddy, go ride a motorcycle,

cry quietly in a poorly lit,

greasy spoon.

All right, sorry.

All right.

Be nice to each other.

Don't be cunts.

All right.

If you're a cunt, the rich people win.

the richy rich.

All right, see you.