Monday Morning Podcast 12-9-24

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 2 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 2 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday, December 9th, 2024. What's going on? How are

Speaker 1 you?

Speaker 1 How's it going, man?

Speaker 1 How was your weekend, man?

Speaker 1 I actually had a great weekend. I really did.
Look at me sounding surprised. I actually had, you know, I had a weekend and I enjoyed it.
God damn it.

Speaker 1 I didn't do much of anything. I took a drum lesson, finally.
I haven't taken a drum lesson in forever. I've sort of been revisiting some Alex Van Halen stuff that always confused me.

Speaker 1 And I'm still confused because he's a beast, but

Speaker 1 all of a sudden, you know,

Speaker 1 a lot more of it makes sense as far as I can understand it or whatever.

Speaker 1 So I played my drums there and

Speaker 1 I'm trying to have like Billy Chill days, which I don't know how to do.

Speaker 1 You know, I just fucking try to just sit down and do nothing during the course of a day and what happens is then my demons catch up with me. So

Speaker 1 you know, if you have somebody in your life and they just cannot fucking sit still and they're always moving around,

Speaker 1 you know, what do they used to call people like that? Oh, he's always fidgety.

Speaker 1 He's always fussing about and blah, blah, blah It's like no he or she had a lot of fucked up shit that happened to him when they were a kid.

Speaker 1 Like, if there's somebody that you live with and they move about the house like a moth or a bat, yeah, that means something.

Speaker 1 Look, well, I don't have any background in psychology, all right?

Speaker 1 Obviously.

Speaker 1 But like, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that some fucking shit happened to them and they're trying to avoid it. In other words, what I do must be what everybody else does.

Speaker 1 That's a classic human point of view. You know, like these idiots,

Speaker 1 you know, I just meet on the road who just, like, wherever they're from, like, that's their worldview, which is understandable, but there's no other worldview other than their worldview.

Speaker 1 That was a big thing when I was growing up, too.

Speaker 1 You know, when I grew up outside of Boston, I was like, this is how the world is.

Speaker 1 And anything that goes against that is either stupid, wrong, or gay.

Speaker 1 Which has got to be the dumbest way you could ever go through life. And I did that

Speaker 1 for the first, like, I can't say, well, the first 10 years of your life,

Speaker 1 all you're doing, the first 10 years of your life, you're like gathering information from people

Speaker 1 who think anything different

Speaker 1 is stupid, whatever the fuck I just said.

Speaker 1 Stupid, dumb, or gay or whatever, whatever the fuck. They put all of that shit into your head.
And then in your teen years, you start to apply it.

Speaker 1 And then in your 20s,

Speaker 1 you begin your journey as a fucked up adult. And hopefully you start to turn the ship around in your 30s.

Speaker 1 If you know, if you're if you're, you know, open to it.

Speaker 1 If you're open to it, I don't know. If you're open to new information and maybe the way you look at the world isn't the way it should be.

Speaker 1 You know what's annoying me about this kid who killed this CEO is none of these news programs are talking about the incredible lack of empathy from the general public about this

Speaker 1 because of how these insurance companies treat people.

Speaker 1 when they are at their most vulnerable after we've all given them our money every fucking month and now we finally need you and all you do is deny us and then these pussies and all of these things are taking the pictures of their CEOs off their websites you know I got to be honest with you okay I love that the that fucking CEOs are fucking afraid right now you should be by and large you're all a bunch of selfish greedy fucking pieces of shit and a lot of you are mass murderers You just don't pull the trigger.

Speaker 1 That's why it looks clean. That's why these people look, oh my God, oh, he was just, you know, walking into a hotel.
It's like, okay, well, what was his job? What did he do?

Speaker 1 What was the results of it?

Speaker 1 Did I tell you, like out here in 2026, like they're going to not have a sell-by date on food anymore? And they're trying to make it like they're trying to save regular people money.

Speaker 1 It's like, no, they're going to let grocery stores sell food.

Speaker 1 past the fucking sell-by date because they they weren't legally allowed to sell it. And then, I don't know, they probably have to eat that.

Speaker 1 They have to eat, you know, no pun intended. They have to eat the cost of that.
So now they're going to pass it on to us.

Speaker 1 Okay, and that thing went through with Democrats and Republicans once again selling us all out. They don't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 I saw this thing on the internet that was allegedly it was Al Capone that came up with the sell-by date.

Speaker 1 I refuse to believe that that's true. I feel like that lives in the world of Fred Rogers.
You remember Mr. Rogers?

Speaker 1 And then all of a sudden there was this rumor that he had sleeve tattoos and he was in Vietnam and he fucking killed a bunch of people. That rumor got out there.
Maybe this one's true. I have no idea.

Speaker 1 All right?

Speaker 1 But, you know, I will tell you that this country was way better when the Italians ran it, meaning the mob.

Speaker 1 It was much better

Speaker 1 because they were because what they were doing was illegal. So they were just, through the fact that it was illegal, they were sort of,

Speaker 1 I can never remember

Speaker 1 what's the proper terminology in business. Not governed.
They were

Speaker 1 regulated

Speaker 1 just by the simple fact that what they were doing wasn't legal.

Speaker 1 And then the problem was they got rid of the mob, and then all the corporations took all of the mob scams, both the government and these corporations. They're running the same scams.

Speaker 1 Running the same scams. You know, the fucking, I've talked about this before.
Like, they used to have the money, then they used to run the numbers, which they stole from black people.

Speaker 1 That became the lottery.

Speaker 1 Loan sharking, ridiculous interest rates is what banks are doing.

Speaker 1 And I always love people, oh, well, you know, you know, what's the difference between a banker and a loan sharker? What's the difference?

Speaker 1 And they're like, well, a bank doesn't have to break your legs. Yeah, because they have the law on their side.

Speaker 1 Make no mistake. If they didn't, they'd be breaking your fucking legs.
They don't give a fuck. And then all of these corporations profiting off of fucking war, they are murderers.

Speaker 1 The people that fucking poisoned our food supply and giving people cancer, those are fucking murderers. They're just not standing there with the gun, you know.

Speaker 1 shooting you into in the back when you go into the grocery store so it doesn't look that way it's it's fucking unreal

Speaker 1 um and i tell you it's it's really annoying

Speaker 1 how hard they're trying to find this kid that shot that guy.

Speaker 1 Okay? How much they're trying to solve that fucking crime, where if it was just some regular fucking jerk off walking in there, are they trying that hard? I know they're trying to solve it.

Speaker 1 I'm not shitting on the cops here, but I'm saying that the political pressure would not be there.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 I guess one fucking healthcare person, you know, company, like they didn't cover, they only covered anesthesia for a certain amount of time. Do you realize how fucking evil that is?

Speaker 1 Like, they sit in meetings and have that.

Speaker 1 And now they're like, no, no, we'll cover it for the whole. Oh, you're going to cover the whole operation?

Speaker 1 Is that what it is? I don't have to wake up halfway through a fucking

Speaker 1 appendix removal

Speaker 1 appendectomy.

Speaker 1 Anyway, so

Speaker 1 I feel like if the motive is what they're saying, it was inevitable.

Speaker 1 There's only so long that you can go around doing that and treating people that way in the evil way that they treat people before somebody's going to retaliate and get the right person or the wrong person.

Speaker 1 Because I don't know anything about that guy. I'm just saying.

Speaker 1 And it's amazing that that story, it isn't amazing.

Speaker 1 It's...

Speaker 1 expected that it's not going into mainstream media.

Speaker 1 They're just treating it like, oh my God, it was a cold-blooded murder and that's fucking it. And they're ignoring the general public's reaction to it.

Speaker 1 That's what I think is going on, even though I don't watch the news at all.

Speaker 1 You know, why don't you watch the news, Bill? I guess because I was disappointed so many times by it.

Speaker 1 I'm making a joke, but it's the truth.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Guess what I did this week on the Anything Better podcast? I was just like, you know what? I'm just going to bet dumb shit because I don't recognize the game anymore.

Speaker 1 If I watch one more fucking game where some team is up by 25 points and all of a sudden it's Tyler Middle Call of fucking game, I mean, how many times

Speaker 1 it's it happens like every fucking weekend. Every fucking weekend that happens.

Speaker 1 I don't know if they change the fucking rule. I don't know if it's because

Speaker 1 there's so much other shit to watch out there that they just have to make this is the most incredible fucking game since the one o'clock game.

Speaker 1 Oh my god, is the Sunday game gonna be even crazier?

Speaker 1 I just, it's not how football was. Games were over in the third fucking quarter.
They were done and they were done and that was it.

Speaker 1 It wasn't, it wasn't like a fucking Rocky fight every fucking weekend.

Speaker 1 So anyway, I was just like, you know what? I'm just gonna bet all dumb shit. I'm gonna bet everything that doesn't fucking make sense.
And guess what?

Speaker 1 Out of the four games I bet the Monday night game, I'm 3-0.

Speaker 1 Fucking 3-0.

Speaker 1 I bet the Panthers, I didn't remember who they were playing.

Speaker 1 They're supposed to get the shit kicked out of them. I'm like, yeah, you know,

Speaker 1 that won't happen.

Speaker 1 Right?

Speaker 1 That won't fucking happen. They played the Eagles.

Speaker 1 I had the Panthers getting like fucking 12 and a half or something. I'm like, yeah, that's not going to happen.
Some reason, the Panthers will probably even win this fucking game.

Speaker 1 And they came damn close to doing it, but the guy dropped the ball. I didn't watch a second of it, I don't watch NFL anymore.
I don't, okay?

Speaker 1 It's just like it's kind of like music. Music has passed me by,

Speaker 1 you know. I don't understand, I don't understand.

Speaker 1 I, I, I, I, I,

Speaker 1 there's so many people out there with beautiful voices. Why am I listening to it like I'm getting serenaded by a robot? I hate that

Speaker 1 auto-tuned sound. I just, it fucking drives

Speaker 1 insane. And then just knowing that it's probably somebody who can't even fucking sing.

Speaker 1 And then they're singing into this auto-tune thing as if they can sing.

Speaker 1 Like going on these, these runs or whatever.

Speaker 1 So I don't fuck with that. I took the Panthers and then I took the Rams because they're playing the Bills and the Bills should kick the shit out of them, right?

Speaker 1 Three and a half point spread. Why is it so fucking low? Why? Because the Rams end up winning the fucking game.
And then I took the Buccaneers.

Speaker 1 I don't remember who they were playing, but I just believe in Baker Mayfield.

Speaker 1 And, you know, when Colin Cowherd went after him, and then he went on his show, and he was still just sitting there, completely unathletic, not getting picked in gym class, telling this pro athlete that he's a complete waste of a pick, fucking with his money,

Speaker 1 or,

Speaker 1 you know.

Speaker 1 And then he's done all these great things that I've yet to see that guy be like, all right, I was wrong about this guy. This guy's a fucking winner.

Speaker 1 I was like, fuck it. I'm going to bet on Baker Mayfield.
And they won and they covered. So tonight,

Speaker 1 I don't even know who's playing, but it's the Dallas Cowboys

Speaker 1 that has my third cousin under center.

Speaker 1 They're not the redhead coach, and they have a red-headed quarterback now. Have you noticed that? They're sort of ginger-friendly.
I feel like they're allies over there.

Speaker 1 I don't even know if he's

Speaker 1 a redhead.

Speaker 1 Anyway, so I'm taking them. I forget who they're playing, but they're playing some team that

Speaker 1 should kick the shit out of them.

Speaker 1 So that's my new,

Speaker 1 that's my new way of going. Oh, by the way, I shouldn't say that people can't play anymore.
That is bullshit. It's just sort of like

Speaker 1 what is happening in all facets of art is the people that are rising to the top are not the most talented people. It's the people that are best at the internet.

Speaker 1 Because I'll tell you, I'll tell you this.

Speaker 1 Old man Billy,

Speaker 1 through my wife,

Speaker 1 my wife likes watching those tiny desks

Speaker 1 on

Speaker 1 YouTube, the NPR channel. Hang on a second.

Speaker 1 Tiny desks, sort of like the,

Speaker 1 I would say, the liberal Austin City limits.

Speaker 1 You know

Speaker 1 where like Austin City Limits. I just assumed it was a conservative show because it was in Texas.
I've never bought this shit that Austin is liberal.

Speaker 1 I think they're liberal for Texas.

Speaker 1 So, anyway,

Speaker 1 I'm probably going to mess up all of these names. So, Nia goes, can we watch this tiny desk thing? And I was like, absolutely, because

Speaker 1 the bands always play live and

Speaker 1 I've just watched enough of these and they have killer fucking bands. So, there was this artist who came on, Dochi,

Speaker 1 I think is how you say the name, and she comes on

Speaker 1 with one of the best bands I've seen in fucking years. Like everybody

Speaker 1 was destroying it. And

Speaker 1 she was like just this supernova of talent. Like one of these people that makes me question, like, how am I also in show business? You know, I'm sort of a one-trick pony, right?

Speaker 1 I tell jokes, I act like an asshole, I don't apologize, and then I leave. You know, that's kind of, that's, that's, that's the,

Speaker 1 that's, that's the hallway of talent that I have.

Speaker 1 She goes out, absolutely destroyed, and then had a band that was playing at the level that she was performing at.

Speaker 1 And I've been trying to get the names of the people in the band because everyone was killing. All I got so far is the bass player because I hate how bands, like, nobody knows the the players anymore.

Speaker 1 And I've gone to these fucking concerts with my wife, and it's like the star is out on the stage.

Speaker 1 Like I went to go see Lady Gaga one time, which by the way, that was the last concert my wife has ever gone with me because I, you know, she didn't like my behavior at it.

Speaker 1 What happened was,

Speaker 1 some of you who listened to this podcast remember this story. I was watching the Patriots during the day, and they lost a playoff game.
They got smoked by the Ravens.

Speaker 1 So I was like a six-pack in and a couple of whiskeys. It's back when Old Billy Boozeface, right? And then I was going to go see Lady Gaga.
And I went down there. You know, she's great.

Speaker 1 She can sing great. Hold on.
I'm not fucking shitting on her or anything. But like, I go there and like, she has a live band, but they were like in like this castle.
behind her and like

Speaker 1 they basically put a fucking house in front of the band but it was a castle this facade, and there was like these little windows, so I could see sort of the drummer's head, and he was killing it, and I couldn't watch him fucking play.

Speaker 1 And then she's out there riding on a horse and all of this shit, and she's going, like, I don't give a fuck. You give a, I don't give a fuck.
She kept saying that, right?

Speaker 1 And then she goes to her backup dancer, like, fucking so-and-so, do you give a fuck? He's like, I don't give a fuck. And they just kept doing that.

Speaker 1 I understand, like, what do you mean you don't give a fuck? I paid for a fucking ticket. You better give a fuck.
Give me a goddamn goddamn show.

Speaker 1 Everybody but the horse was telling me that they didn't give a fuck on stage, and then I just couldn't take it anymore.

Speaker 1 And right as, and it was just bad timing, and right as the crowd wasn't screaming and it got quiet, I went, Jesus fucking Christ.

Speaker 1 So anyway, the rest of the concert happens, and then we go home the next morning. I can feel my wife.
She's giving me the cold shoulder there. And I knew she heard what I said, so I said, I'm sorry.

Speaker 1 And she goes, Yeah, all right, whatever. And I was like, come on.
Yeah,

Speaker 1 I said it once. She goes, you said it like six times.
I didn't remember because I was drunk. So

Speaker 1 anyway, but that's been my thing. Like I went to go see Madonna and she, you know, she's singing the tracks.
She doesn't even have a fucking band there.

Speaker 1 You know, I go, I just, where is the fucking band?

Speaker 1 So anyway, now there is a band. So I'm trying to track down the

Speaker 1 because these players, like the trumpet player, the bass player, the drummer, everybody, the saxophone player, the backup singers, her hype woman, whatever the hell you're supposed to call them.

Speaker 1 The only name I tracked down

Speaker 1 was the bass player

Speaker 1 who was unfucking believable. I'm not gonna say the name right.
Zuri

Speaker 1 oh, here we go. A-P-P-L-Y-B-Y.

Speaker 1 All right, look that name up. Zuri, Z-U-R-I, and I'm not going to disrespect her by attempting to say her name.
This, because I don't, because she played so amazing. It's like apply by

Speaker 1 B-Y. A-P-P-L-Y-B-Y.

Speaker 1 It's only 25 minutes long. You know, there's so much shit out there.
If you just want to see

Speaker 1 a bunch of artists performing at the highest level,

Speaker 1 I highly recommend that. And like I said, this isn't me.

Speaker 1 Like, my wife told me about it, all right? And I was just sitting there and I was like, all right, I'll watch this. And I was immediately

Speaker 1 within two seconds, I was like, oh my God, this is a whole other level. And that's where it started.
And it just kept going up.

Speaker 1 And it was probably the fastest 25 minutes I can remember in a long time. So I'm hoping

Speaker 1 that this woman is on tour and she's bringing that band. That's what I'm hoping.
I'm hoping that that's what's happening.

Speaker 1 Because I don't want to go to any more shows where I'm watching somebody and there's no fucking band.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 Or they're in a house for whatever fucking reason.

Speaker 1 I love that. Oh, yeah, I got, I'm thinking like this castle theme.
It's like a castle theme. No, it isn't it.
It's you're you're putting a fucking wall between

Speaker 1 the band

Speaker 1 and yourself.

Speaker 1 I know a guy did a big tour for this artist and they played underneath the stage.

Speaker 1 All eyes must be on me all the time.

Speaker 1 Anyway.

Speaker 1 Anyway, check that fucking one out. It's the tiny desk.
Check out that whole series, the tiny death series, man.

Speaker 1 It's amazing. And what's funny is My stupid generation is always talking about how nobody can play instruments anymore.

Speaker 1 And And the reality is, is there's a million, not a million, there's a whole bunch of people in this generation that are unbelievable players.

Speaker 1 You just have to find them, which is hard because, like I said, there's like,

Speaker 1 you know, there's being good at what you do and then there's being good at the internet.

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 the problem I think female artists have right now is there's so many hoo-was walking around in their fucking underwear on Instagram like getting a zillion clicks like how do you

Speaker 1 how do you push how do you get your shit

Speaker 1 you know

Speaker 1 in front of that

Speaker 1 I don't know all I know is I just picked three fucking games this week because I was so

Speaker 1 sick of trying to like predict what I thought was going to happen I finally realized that whatever I thought was going to happen wasn't going to happen.

Speaker 1 And I am now into this total conspiracy theory that they have manipulated the game with the rules, the officiating, and got in bed with gambling now that like most games now are going to come down to the wire on purpose, not because it's better for the game.

Speaker 1 It's because it's better for their wallets because you're going to watch until the end. You're not going to change the channel and they're going to get money for all the advertising.
All right.

Speaker 1 All right. So.

Speaker 1 Anyway, I had a great weekend here with the kiddos. I hung with my son.
Like Saturday, I hang with my son, and then on Sunday, I hang with my daughter. That's how I do the weekends, right?

Speaker 1 Whatever, the daddy-daughter day, and then I hang with my son the previous day. So he just wakes up and told me that he wanted to go to the drum store.

Speaker 1 Because I was asking him, Hey, you want to go out, you know, into the garage and go play drums? He goes, I want to go to the drum store. I said, All right, let's go.

Speaker 1 So I took him over to the best drum store in LA, professional drum shop on Vine,

Speaker 1 just south of Willoughby. Oh,

Speaker 1 Willoughby.

Speaker 1 And I go in there

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 my son, he always has to play like all the drum kits that are on the floor. And

Speaker 1 what I absolutely love about my son, and I am like so proud of him, is he is not shy.

Speaker 1 at all.

Speaker 1 Like little Billy Burr would have been like, you

Speaker 1 you know, playing like quietly and all that stuff. He doesn't give a shit.
He goes in and just plays. And the only problem I have

Speaker 1 in that store is that once I get him in the store, I can't get him to leave.

Speaker 1 And then it becomes like a sad thing because he's leaving, right?

Speaker 1 And,

Speaker 1 you know, what's funny is, you know, Jerry and Stan, Stan, the brothers that own it,

Speaker 1 they're starting to get to know him. And I just love that.
And I just go, you know, one of these days, he's going to be coming in there buying drumsticks or a cymbal or something like that.

Speaker 1 And they're going to be going, I remember when you were this high, you know, and they've been doing that forever.

Speaker 1 And that, if you've, if you ever come out to LA and you play drums, you have to go to that store.

Speaker 1 And you have to understand that everyone from Max Roach, John Bonham, Tony Williams,

Speaker 1 oh, God, Steve Jordan, Vinnie Colliuta, all the guys, Steve Gadd, all of these guys,

Speaker 1 since way back when they first came around,

Speaker 1 have been going to that shop. And

Speaker 1 some of the bass drum heads that they have on the wall

Speaker 1 hanging up,

Speaker 1 it's unbelievable. It's like a working museum, and it's also at the same time totally up-to-date.
And it's everything that Guitar Center isn't.

Speaker 1 Like, it's personable. If you have, if you have, like, if your gear's messed up, they can repair it in in the back.

Speaker 1 They have all these

Speaker 1 relationships with all these

Speaker 1 drum companies and everything.

Speaker 1 It's why

Speaker 1 I prefer to go to

Speaker 1 privately owned businesses because the service is just always better.

Speaker 1 Always better. And, you know, that's a way to get back at these CEOs.
You don't have to shoot them in the back as they go into a hotel to get a grand slam breakfast.

Speaker 1 You can just start going to mom and pop places and deal with a little more, you know,

Speaker 1 inconvenience. You know, I know you like going into the big box stores, but, you know,

Speaker 1 whatever.

Speaker 1 Why don't you try to do both? Start with that and just compare your experiences as you just sit there like a fucking orphan in a Best Buy walking around trying to find somebody to help you. You know?

Speaker 1 Or you're walking to a mom and pop, hey, how are you? Can I help you? They're like right there for you. So anyway, so he's in the drum shop, and I'm trying to get him out.

Speaker 1 You know, we're in there 40, 45 minutes, and I'm like, all right, buddy, you know, he's like, no, I want, I want, I want, play, you know, and then he has to go over the hi-hats and hit all the hi-hats.

Speaker 1 And it's so hard for me to get him out of there. He has this ear-to-ear grin the entire time he's in there.
He just thinks it's the greatest place on earth.

Speaker 1 But, you know, eventually, you know, comes, it's like, I got to get him home. I got to get him out of there for nap time.

Speaker 1 Or I'm just old and I'm tired of standing up, you know. So

Speaker 1 I had to bribe him to get him out of there. He was like, Dad, I want to play, I want to play this.

Speaker 1 And I finally just look at him. I go, Hey, buddy, I go, hey, buddy.
I go, you want to get a donut? And then he looks immediately right over me and he goes, a donut?

Speaker 1 I almost bursted out laughing and I go, like, yeah,

Speaker 1 you want to get a donut? And he just goes,

Speaker 1 Yeah,

Speaker 1 like super enthusiastic, you know, like the same energy of Will as Will Farrell, an elf, like Santa, you know, he like

Speaker 1 immediately like jumped off the stool.

Speaker 1 And then I just love him. He just says goodbye to everybody, shakes hands with everybody.
He's a little fucking man, right?

Speaker 1 And yeah, and then we got in the car and we went to go get a donut. So, uh,

Speaker 1 drums and donuts, that's what works with my, with my son, right? And then yesterday with my daughter,

Speaker 1 I've discovered this new activity because I always, you know, take her to the playground and stuff. She likes that ninja climate stuff and all of that.
And she's really good at it. But she also

Speaker 1 likes going to the mall. And just, when I was thinking, oh, God, I'm going to buy more shit we don't need.

Speaker 1 She's totally content to just look at stuff and not buy anything and then go get something to eat, you know? So

Speaker 1 that's what we ended up doing. And like, like, sweat, it felt like nine times.
She said to me, going, like, dad, this is really fun. This is really fun.

Speaker 1 Of course, she likes the fucking Apple store, which kills me. But, you know, they just grew up with these goddamn computers and they just, they just, they relate to them.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 so I was like, all right, you know.

Speaker 1 She went to the Apple store twice.

Speaker 1 Um,

Speaker 1 I don't know, those fucking people, geniuses.

Speaker 1 So dumb.

Speaker 1 My cell phone's all fucking cracked, so I was asking, How long does it take you to change out a screen?

Speaker 1 And they go, What phone do you have? It's just like, dude, just fuck generally speaking

Speaker 1 before you go to the fucking iPad and try to find my retina or whatever the hell you have on that fucking thing. He goes, About two hours.
I go, Great.

Speaker 1 I don't have that time today, but that's good to know. Thank you.
And then I get the fuck out of there.

Speaker 1 So, anyway, I had like two great days with that.

Speaker 1 I discovered all these great new musicians

Speaker 1 on that

Speaker 1 dochi

Speaker 1 tiny desk.

Speaker 1 You know, it's been a while since I've just I've seen a band playing at that fucking level. I'm just saying.
I'm just saying. So I'm really hoping

Speaker 1 that

Speaker 1 I can see that band live. That would be incredible.
But if I can't, that's alright. I can follow each musician and see when they're when they're playing.
So I can at least go see the individual bands.

Speaker 1 Alright, now where am I here? Oh my god, 29 minutes in. Oh, Billy Babbleface here.

Speaker 1 Oh, so a Van Halen song I'm working on is that song I'm the one,

Speaker 1 which I always was like my favorite

Speaker 1 cut on that album. Because

Speaker 1 they played everything else to death. They running with the devil, eruption, you really got me,

Speaker 1 and whatever that next song was, they always played that one.

Speaker 1 And I always think, like, I like I'm the one. Like, I think Eddie's playing on that is just fucking crazy.
And then Alex, that double bass triplet shuffle.

Speaker 1 And then you got the Diamond Dave Lounge Lidges breakdown, ba, bada, shoe budoa, for no fucking reason.

Speaker 1 I just felt like that song out of everything encapsulated sort of like the recipe of that band and Michael Anthony's amazing bass playing and

Speaker 1 high harmonies on it.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 anyway,

Speaker 1 I've been working on that and I was leading with my left foot because it made sense to me to come down with the right foot. And then I went to my drum teacher, Dave Elich, and he goes, you know what?

Speaker 1 For whatever fucking reason, it's easy for people to lead with the right and play the downbeat with the left. And we were trying to figure out why that is.
And it's like, oh, that's because,

Speaker 1 you know, a lot of of times you're tapping the downbeat with your left foot on the hi-hat. Now it's just on the bass drum.

Speaker 1 And it's not weird to play an offbeat with your right foot, but it's way more weird to play the offbeat,

Speaker 1 the upbeat, the offbeat, or whatever with your left foot. Because you don't do that a lot with the hi-hat, but with the bass drum, you know, it's all

Speaker 1 you know, you do that all the fucking time while you're tapping one, two, three, four, one, and two, and three, and four with your left foot. So that was kind of cool.

Speaker 1 But like,

Speaker 1 I don't know, I'm kind of getting it up to speed. And it's exciting because I never thought I'd be able to even attempt that song.

Speaker 1 And then secondly, by learning that song, I don't have to deal with my fucking demons. So it's all working for me.

Speaker 1 All right, with that,

Speaker 1 let's do some of the reads here for the week. Oh, look who it is, everybody.
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Speaker 1 And with that,

Speaker 1 and we're back. Let's do.

Speaker 1 Oh, we got a controversy here. We got some reeds here.
So anyway,

Speaker 1 somebody, you know, somehow I brought up John Cougar or John Mellencamp or John Cougar Mellenkamp. I mean, tell me that guy shouldn't be investigated going by all those aliases.

Speaker 1 You know, I think what it was, is he was John Mellencamp, and then the label said, you should go by John Cougar. They were big on fucking

Speaker 1 last names that were animals.

Speaker 1 You know, Eddie Eddie Horowitz became Eddie Rabbit.

Speaker 1 He wasn't Horowitz. I don't know what his last name was, but Eddie, it was Eddie Rabbit.

Speaker 1 It was John Cougar.

Speaker 1 You know, Freddie Pheasant. I don't know.
There must be another one. You always have to have three, though, for people to believe.
As long as you have three,

Speaker 1 you know, if you have three, if you give three examples, people believe you. Two, they're like, this guy's full of shit.
Four, they're like, shut the fuck up already. But three, three

Speaker 1 is a magic number.

Speaker 1 Yes, it is.

Speaker 1 When you bullshit, people, I'll give you the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. We believe in one God.
People like fucking

Speaker 1 parrots, just repeating the shit.

Speaker 1 On the third day, he rose again, right? He said, and the second day came, get the fuck out of here.

Speaker 1 He didn't come back in two days. On the fourth day, what the fuck was he waiting for? The third day.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 I believe I can fly.

Speaker 1 So, anyway,

Speaker 1 I was talking about that

Speaker 1 John Cougar, John Mellencamp, John Cougar Mellencamp song, Jack and Diane. And he goes, sucking on chili dog outside the shady tree.

Speaker 1 Take out my fucking dick. And then I start to pee, whatever the fuck he says, right?

Speaker 1 Jackie's going to be, oh, football.

Speaker 1 You got to sing the whole song. It's a hit.
Even if you don't know the lyrics. So anyways, I was saying, sucking on chili dog.
I always thought that was a fucking disgusting reference for, you know,

Speaker 1 him getting blown

Speaker 1 out there in the fields of Indiana.

Speaker 1 You know, one night in the field, there's corn there. The next night, there's a cross burning, and the next night, John Cougar, Mellon Camp, fucking pheasant face is getting his dick sucked.

Speaker 1 That's what I thought it meant. So somebody goes, no, Chili Dog

Speaker 1 was a

Speaker 1 it's like a slush puppy, but that's what there was a there was a chain of restaurants called Chili Dog

Speaker 1 and I guess that was what the drink was called. That's what somebody claimed last week.
But this week, somebody's saying no

Speaker 1 No,

Speaker 1 that is not what happened. Sucking on Chili Dog dash correction.
Bill, last week that guy was wrong about this. It's about chili dogs at tasty freeze.
Diane sits on Jack's lap eating a dog.

Speaker 1 Here's the video where she's eating it on John's lap. All right.

Speaker 1 I mean, I don't know. The whole thing, can we just say that it's a fucking really weird lyric?

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 you eat a chili dog, you don't suck on it, right? And to use that as sort of a sexual innuendo, which I know he had to have been,

Speaker 1 when chili looks like shit, I mean, he's got to have some German blood in him, no?

Speaker 1 Is it a song about scat?

Speaker 1 Um, I don't know. But I can tell you right now, it's Monday.
I have a bunch of shit to do, and the last thing I need to do is fucking spend my time trying to figure out

Speaker 1 what that lyric means. I have no idea.

Speaker 1 All right?

Speaker 1 You know what? It's art.

Speaker 1 It means whatever you want it to mean. Do you know what I mean? I'm just looking for a reaction.
All right, the price of a haircut in Boston, men versus women.

Speaker 1 All right, well, I can tell you right now, there's a lot of things I don't know how much they cost, and a haircut is one of them.

Speaker 1 Oh my God, I have not had to pay for a haircut. Woo! I'm going on like a decade.
It's like I bought an electric car, and I have no idea how much gas costs.

Speaker 1 You know, it's funny, those fucking electric cars. I was so into those things.
Yeah, fuck these other companies.

Speaker 1 It's all the same shit. You're just going into a new different, a new kind of evil, a new kind of waste, a new shit that's bad for the environment.

Speaker 1 And now people are saying, like, drive around electric cars like you're riding around on a fucking cell phone. And you know, your cell phone, you keep it in your pocket.

Speaker 1 They're starting to do studies that can cause cancer of the balls there. You're sitting on that giant fucking battery.
I don't know. I'm telling you.

Speaker 1 Oh, Billy's having a sale on his vehicles. Everything must go.
And

Speaker 1 I'm going to drive a fucking analog car,

Speaker 1 gas combustion engine,

Speaker 1 five speed.

Speaker 1 Okay, I'm starting off maybe looking at a BMW,

Speaker 1 but I'm not going to buy a car until I know like

Speaker 1 until, I don't know,

Speaker 1 it really

Speaker 1 gets me excited. I haven't found one yet,

Speaker 1 but I'm going to start

Speaker 1 with an older German car

Speaker 1 because I still remember I rented a BMW 3 Series in the 2000s, and it was one of the most fun cars I ever drove.

Speaker 1 I loved the size of it, and it was just an automatic, and it was so much fucking fun, and it was tight as a drum. This is before they started, like,

Speaker 1 you know, trying to lease their cars out to college-age kids, and they weren't making them right. Like, there's a period in the

Speaker 1 I think it was last decade where they weren't making them right. I guess they're making them right again, but they got a little

Speaker 1 American car in the 80s type of deal, which was

Speaker 1 really bad for the brand.

Speaker 1 Like, speaking of which, what about Jaguar with their new logo?

Speaker 1 Like, talk about, like,

Speaker 1 in what fucking world

Speaker 1 are we bringing all of that shit into buying a car?

Speaker 1 And, like,

Speaker 1 you're a corporation.

Speaker 1 You give a, you, you, your, your ally is money.

Speaker 1 All right, so I don't give a fuck what your bullshit. Oh, Oh, the leaves are brown and our sign is pink.
You don't give a fuck. All right?

Speaker 1 You give a fuck about fucking British racing green cash.

Speaker 1 Fuck out of here. Trying to be fucking socially active with a new car label.
All I hear is your cars aren't selling well, so now you gotta like brand yourself.

Speaker 1 Anyway, anyway where the fuck are the hell are all the goddamn

Speaker 1 this always happens to me i touch my phone and then it goes back to the top i touch my phone when i think about you all right the price of a haircut in boston men versus women dear billy balderdash

Speaker 1 um i've heard that word before balderdash is that an insult is it is it a character in a classic tale? I don't know. All right.

Speaker 1 I, a man, recently instigated a fight against nine women about the cost of haircuts.

Speaker 1 Oh, really? I like this guy. That's great instinct.
My wife, he says, had a bunch of female friends over, and they were all talking about how expensive it is to get a haircut. We're all drinking wine.

Speaker 1 I'm being quiet. We live in Boston, USA, where things are very expensive.
I sat there listening to them complaining about how much it costs to get a haircut.

Speaker 1 My wife said she paid $450 for her last haircut.

Speaker 1 My wife's hair is about halfway down her back, and it's blonde and beautiful. Her friends all agreed on the price and they have a variety of hair.

Speaker 1 Black women with different styles, white women with short hair, native women with long black hair down to their butt.

Speaker 1 While they all bemoaned the cost of hair, I was doing mental math. I'm a regular white male with boring brown hair.
Don't say that about yourself.

Speaker 1 You're a special white guy, and your brown hair isn't boring. It's all how you wear it, honey.
I get a haircut about every four weeks.

Speaker 1 A haircut in Boston, including a tip, costs anywhere between $40 and $65.

Speaker 1 So the average price is $52.50.

Speaker 1 But let's round that down to $50. Sir,

Speaker 1 what you're doing right now is you're presenting a rational argument. Now, this is going to make sense to all the men out there.
This is not going to make sense to them. And a lot of times,

Speaker 1 both men and women, when they're complaining, they just want to

Speaker 1 get it out. Okay? And everybody

Speaker 1 feels that whatever is happening to them, generally speaking, is the worst fucking thing happening and the most important thing right now. But what are you going to do?

Speaker 1 You're sitting there, six against one, and you're going to come at them with logic. Gee, you've got into an argument with them?

Speaker 1 Anyways, 50 bucks, 52 weeks a year times a haircut every four weeks equals 13 haircuts a year. $50 per cut times 13 is 650 bucks.

Speaker 1 I'm a hairy Irish potato guy, so toss in a few times where I need to pay $10 to get my neck cleaned up for a wedding or an event.

Speaker 1 And even as a conservative estimate, I'm spending close to $700 a year on haircuts as a basic man.

Speaker 1 Okay.

Speaker 1 So rather than than just keeping that information to yourself and then calling one of your guy friends and laughing about it,

Speaker 1 which is what

Speaker 1 an older guy does, if they're mature, because I'll be honest with you, I would do the same fucking thing.

Speaker 1 But there's a 20% chance now that I wouldn't, where before it was 100%

Speaker 1 I was all in. Boots on the ground, as they say in military.

Speaker 1 The military.

Speaker 1 I finally spoke up and made this point to all the women, and they all berated me. Oh, what a surprise.
They said, there's no way I spend that much. I presented my math and explained it.

Speaker 1 Then they switched their argument. Oh, yeah, there you go.
From you don't spend that much to we would get haircuts more frequently if they were affordable.

Speaker 1 I said maybe if you went in and just got the ends cut a few times a year, you wouldn't have to spend $450 to get a full cut color champagne and all of that bullshit. They hated that.

Speaker 1 I sat back knowing that $700 is more than $450

Speaker 1 while they all hollered about how expensive women's hair care is. Oh, dude, I love what you did.
You fucking threw a rock at the hornet's nest

Speaker 1 and then just sat back in your beekeeper outfit and watched them all buzz around the room. That's entertainment where I come from.

Speaker 1 So I sat back knowing that $700 is more than $450 while they all hollered about how expensive women's hair care is and acted like men don't spend a dime on haircuts. Well, I would also say this:

Speaker 1 my wife doesn't just get her hair done once a year.

Speaker 1 She's going in there quite frequently, so I have no idea.

Speaker 1 I have no idea what she spends, but I know

Speaker 1 depending on what hairstyle you have,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 and then how you want to keep it or whatever, like they're not just going in once a year.

Speaker 1 All right, so you can't treat treat them all like they're Crystal Gale, like they're just fucking hair down to their ankles.

Speaker 1 Just not getting it cut for years and years. I wonder what Crystal Gale has spent on haircuts over the years.

Speaker 1 You know what's funny? All the money she spent, she saved in not getting a haircut,

Speaker 1 she then spent in time washing her fucking hair.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Anyways, while they all hollered how expensive women haircut is and acted like men don't spend a dime on haircuts, my conclusion, oh, but black guys go to the fucking barber like once a week, it seems.

Speaker 1 So it all, you know, it all depends on where you are. That's actually a fascinating fucking argument,

Speaker 1 which could have been,

Speaker 1 you could have presented it in a more fun way.

Speaker 1 But what's more fun if you're just sitting there listening to six women bitching to throw logic in the middle of it just to piss them all off?

Speaker 1 That's also, there's a lot of fun to be having this, to be having this. My conclusion was that I spend more than women in Boston on haircuts.
They don't believe me. They hate it.

Speaker 1 They think they're victims getting swindled, even though they spend less than me, a regular-looking guy with blonde, boring hair on haircuts.

Speaker 1 Well, I can also tell you this: there's a lot of men paying for those women's haircuts. There's not a lot of women paying for like a guy goes to the barbershop, there's not some fucking

Speaker 1 sugar mama paying for the fucking thing.

Speaker 1 I just want you to fly off about this because it's an example of women defying logic because they've already made up their minds about something. Well, sir, I would also say so of you.

Speaker 1 Because you're acting, by your math, a woman goes to the beauty salon once a year, and that is not fucking true.

Speaker 1 I would think that they go in there every like three to four months,

Speaker 1 white women, and then

Speaker 1 I don't know. I don't know what black women do.
I'm just basing it on my wife. My wife goes more than that.
And I know in it's a fucking, not only that, it's a fucking all-day event.

Speaker 1 But then if you want to share up your argument,

Speaker 1 you then have to

Speaker 1 ask black guys how many times they go.

Speaker 1 You know.

Speaker 1 As far as my experience,

Speaker 1 black dudes go there

Speaker 1 on average once every 10 days. I would guess.
Oh, you know what? Why do I need to guess? I have listeners.

Speaker 1 You know what? What the fuck?

Speaker 1 Let's open this up to everybody. All right, ladies, how many times, and don't be honest so we can get a good fucking answer.
Stop trying to fucking win. I just want to know how often you go.

Speaker 1 I don't want to listen to you fucking talking about how much it costs because how much it costs also depends on where you go. All right?

Speaker 1 You're getting your hair highlighted in Beverly Hills, or if you're getting it fucking highlighted at the South Shore Plaza, that's the same procedure. It's two different prices.

Speaker 1 All right, so just tell me how often you go. White guys, how often do you go? Once a month, once every six weeks,

Speaker 1 it all depends. Then there's other people, they buy those fucking clippers with a guide, and then they don't go at all.

Speaker 1 I don't know.

Speaker 1 That's interesting. But it's also interesting, too, if

Speaker 1 out of all those six women there, I would be willing to bet that one of them doesn't pay for their beauty visits.

Speaker 1 One of them, at least one of them, has a man that is paying for their, if they're married, 100 fucking percent, they're not paying for it. The guy's paying for it.
All right?

Speaker 1 And you can call that sexist or you can call that the God's truth. I don't give a fuck.
I'm just saying my reality.

Speaker 1 I love her. My wife goes to the beauty salon.
She comes home, she's fucking happy, you know?

Speaker 1 And then I'm psyched to see her. She was gone for most of the day.
Absent makes the heart grow fonder. And she comes in, she looks even more gorgeous than she did when she left.
I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 All right, shitty sequel idea.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, here we go. This was the thing that I was talking about when I was on Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 We were joking about

Speaker 1 doing sequels to movies

Speaker 1 that didn't need sequels and then just making them the worst fucking movie ever. So we came up with one flew over the cuckoo's nest.
We came up with two flew over the cuckoo's nest.

Speaker 1 This time he's keeping the sink. All right.
And the whole movie was about the Indian after he threw the sink through the fucking window. You know, whatever happened to the sink.

Speaker 1 And it turns out the Indian is emotionally connected to the sink and he runs away with it like a football. And then Tommy Lee Jones like in the fugitive is chasing him around the country

Speaker 1 um

Speaker 1 you know I mean who doesn't want to see that movie um anyway shitty sequel idea hey Billy Bats uh got stoned with some good old Puerto Rican premium ganja and got a plot for you I present Doo Fellas and Doofellas the wacky sequel to good fellas oh my god can you imagine doing that like Johnny Dangerously meets good fellas and older washed up noodles with ketchup eating Henry Hill watches in horror as his inept son Jimmy tries to rebuild the family's mob legacy despite having no skills.

Speaker 1 Wasn't this the Sammy the Bull story?

Speaker 1 Connections or common sense teaming up with his two equally clueless friends, Tony Two Left Feet and Vinny the Vegan.

Speaker 1 Vinny the Vegan is amazing.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 there's a question: Have you ever met a full-blooded Italian that was ever a vegan?

Speaker 1 How could you walk away

Speaker 1 from the mastery that is Italian cooking?

Speaker 1 Jimmy embarks on a series of ridiculously low-stakes crimes, from robbing porch packages to attempting a heist on a truck full of Black Friday toasters.

Speaker 1 Henry reluctantly steps in to help, only to make things worse.

Speaker 1 In a chaotic comedy of errors, the hills must navigate their way out of the mess, proving that sometimes the only thing more dangerous than crime is sheer incompetence.

Speaker 1 He said, How about it? Complete shit, right? I'm going to get the papers. Get the papers.
Go fuck yourself, Amigo. I love that.

Speaker 1 Oh, God.

Speaker 1 Shitty sequel idea. Schindler's wrist.

Speaker 1 A sequel to Schindler's list about a man's struggle with carpal tunnel syndrome after writing a list.

Speaker 1 Oh my god.

Speaker 1 That's better than any of the shit I came up with. Dude, I have this theory that regular people are becoming funnier than fucking comedians.
The comments section on Instagram is second to none.

Speaker 1 It's funnier than the Dave Letterman top 10 list. And that was professional writers back in the day.
All right, letting go.

Speaker 1 Hey, old Billy Greenshirt, writing from

Speaker 1 Canberra, the unknown capital of Australia. Probably even said it wrong.

Speaker 1 Needs some advice. That's the capital of Australia.
I would have guessed Sydney or

Speaker 1 Melbourne.

Speaker 1 Needs some advice. All is well in my life, but one thing that kills me on a daily basis is not letting things go.
Oh, yeah.

Speaker 1 Oh, yeah, that's brutal. Oh, yeah.
I'm sitting here roasting bacon boilings like a sauna. Without going into details, I just struggle to forget old arguments or how I've acted in certain situations.

Speaker 1 I find myself reliving these arguments or situations to the point where these people are in my dreams. It kills me.
How do you let shit go from your past? As always, go fuck yourself.

Speaker 1 Get some hobbies, brother.

Speaker 1 Learn how to play some Van Halen on drums. You'll be preoccupied.
No.

Speaker 1 How do you let go of things in your past?

Speaker 1 I would talk to somebody about it.

Speaker 1 I think the thing you want to do first is to figure out why you're still holding on to that stuff.

Speaker 1 Like basically where that comes from.

Speaker 1 Because a lot of things are like, you got to let go of it. Just breathe in, breathe out,

Speaker 1 write it down on a piece of paper, and then you just crumple it up and throw it into the wastebasket. And it's like that doesn't work.
It doesn't work.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 the best thing you got going for yourself right now is that you are aware

Speaker 1 that you're doing this and you're aware that that's a problem. And that is a major step to solving any problem, believe it or not.
Because a lot of times

Speaker 1 you're in denial or

Speaker 1 whatever the problem is, it's so encompassing that you don't even know you have it.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I would talk to a therapist, dude. If it's to the point that they're in your dreams, I would definitely go talk to a therapist.
And, you know, and therapists are just like comedians.

Speaker 1 Like, not all of them are good.

Speaker 1 Prime example, the one you're listening to right now. So you got to make sure that you get the Davitel of therapists as close as closely as you can, right?

Speaker 1 So,

Speaker 1 that stuff is

Speaker 1 a really important thing to do for your quality of life because that shit

Speaker 1 will affect the one life you have, and it also,

Speaker 1 you know, that can lead to like health problems and stuff carrying stuff like that. I used to do that, I don't anymore.

Speaker 1 And I went to years of therapy and that type of stuff, but I

Speaker 1 I don't really carry

Speaker 1 a lot of shit. I will say, you know, the times I've had problems with people

Speaker 1 is,

Speaker 1 you know, I used to do that, you're dead to me. And I can tell you, when you do that, when you say somebody's dead to you, they are going to live on in you.

Speaker 1 That's what happens with that. You're dead to me.
Fuck that guy. He's fucking dead to me.
Fuck her. She's dead to me.
It's like

Speaker 1 they're they're not.

Speaker 1 What you need to do is,

Speaker 1 you know, what I find

Speaker 1 is,

Speaker 1 you know, if I run into them, I squash it.

Speaker 1 You know?

Speaker 1 And I just say, listen, man, you know, I'm sorry this didn't work out and anything. And then you shake hands and it's over.
And it really.

Speaker 1 helps you, you know, so if you have all of these people that,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 did something to you, and like, if you, if you're of that ilk, which I, you know, I kind of,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 always have vibed with people from Australia because they have, you know, there's an anger down there. There's, they, they deal with their problems physically a lot.

Speaker 1 You know, they get into fights and shit like that. And that, like, Massachusetts, like, Australia is very Massachusetts.

Speaker 1 You know, a bunch of fucking hilarious people, a lot of them drinking too much, and a lot of them solving their problems physically. And, you know,

Speaker 1 you know, there's a lot of fucking trauma down there.

Speaker 1 I mean, you think the kinds of people that they brought down there to settle, you know, all these people that were like, I guess, you know, from the prisons in England, they'd already gone through that, and then they came there, and then there was already people there, and then, you know, the usual fucking white guy shit happens with the fucking genocide.

Speaker 1 You know, there's a lot of stuff going on there. So

Speaker 1 you live in a country like that. Like, there's usually a lot of

Speaker 1 repressive solutions to problems. So,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 I found, I learned this in like my 30s. If I ran into an ex-girlfriend, I used to just like totally ghost them and not talk to him.
And the energy that that took. And then afterward,

Speaker 1 you know, when they reacted to me not talking to them, then they would do something like, I was being a dick. And then they would be cunty, and then it just, it just got it going again.

Speaker 1 And then I would be walking down the street out of the bar, talking to myself.

Speaker 2 Do you fucking think I give a fuck? I don't give a fuck.

Speaker 1 You know, I'd be saying that. You think I give a fuck as I'm walking down the street, still talking to this person who's not even there.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I would make like an effort,

Speaker 1 even if you're not going to run into them, to just in your head, forgive them.

Speaker 1 And like,

Speaker 1 think about like, all right, so they did this to me and empathize.

Speaker 1 Like, you know, I've done shit like that or I've done something like that or, you know, what they did to me or said to me really had nothing to do with me. It's the shit that they're going through.

Speaker 1 And then say a prayer for them. Like, I hope they get, you know,

Speaker 1 whatever it is that's going on in their life.

Speaker 1 And I know none of that fucking makes sense. Am I fucking praying for that fucking asshole? I'm telling you, you're going to carry it forever.
And then they end up

Speaker 1 having this grip on your life. And you know what's amazing is none of them are thinking about you.

Speaker 1 They're moving on, you know? Unless you had like

Speaker 1 a real thing. But a lot of times they don't even like, like, I remember those shows where they had these talk shows and these people would confront their high school bully.

Speaker 1 And it was just, I could see it was just so not satisfying for the person that got bullied. Because they would go there and the bully was just sitting there with this fucking look on his face.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 they would say it and i was in class and you said this about me and the bully would start laughing and just being like oh i said i don't remember saying that and then they're laughing like yeah that's a good joke and then they still don't realize that it hurt you or whatever and it's like

Speaker 1 like the person that got bullied just walks around and carries it for decades and and the bully doesn't even remember they even did it like that's how much it didn't mean to him which ends up making the victim even matter like how could you walk around doing shit like that

Speaker 1 and it's just like you're not going to get what you want from this person. It's a

Speaker 1 internal thing,

Speaker 1 which is a good thing for you because you can work all of this out by yourself.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I don't know. That's kind of like what I was able to do.
And I'm actually proud to say, like,

Speaker 1 I still get into it with people, but I don't like,

Speaker 1 I don't carry it, and I don't have like

Speaker 1 this,

Speaker 1 you know, now I just look at it like going like, all right, that was probably

Speaker 1 half me or maybe the way I joke, this person doesn't joke that way.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 that person's a mess. I'm a mess.
It didn't work out, but God bless them.

Speaker 1 I hope everything that they want in life comes true. And I'm telling you, it's a light feeling as opposed to being like, no, no, fuck that guy.

Speaker 1 I hope that fucking guy, he can die of fucking ass cancer, that fucking guy. Yeah, that shit, you're the one who's going to get ass cancer.

Speaker 1 And that's one of the funny things about life. All right.

Speaker 1 Okay, that's the podcast. I will check in on you on Thursday.
Go fuck yourselves.

Speaker 1 And that's it. That's all I got.