Monday Morning Podcast 12-2-24

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 2 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 2 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 Hey, what's going on? It's Bill Burr, and it's time for the Monday morning podcast for Monday,

Speaker 1 December 2nd.

Speaker 1 Oh, what a fucking pass!

Speaker 1 No interference. Look at the NFL letting them play.

Speaker 1 December 2nd, 2024.

Speaker 1 What's going on? How are you?

Speaker 1 Oh, Billy's back. A's back.

Speaker 1 Oh, Billy's back.

Speaker 1 Back again.

Speaker 1 Guess who's back?

Speaker 1 Tell a friend. Um,

Speaker 1 yeah, I didn't do a podcast on Thanksgiving. I planned to, but, you know, I gotta talk around this.
We had some friends over,

Speaker 1 and uh, you know, you ever smoke weed with people who smoke weed all the time? They have different weed.

Speaker 1 This dude, I love him to death. He told me this shit shit was an, he called it an afternoon weed.

Speaker 1 Yeah, it's a sativa. You know, it's an afternoon weed.
I took three hits of that fucking thing, and I don't think I was, I was, I was at Thanksgiving, but I wasn't at Thanksgiving.

Speaker 1 You know, I was, you know,

Speaker 1 I was there, I was eating, but just

Speaker 1 Nia said like nine times, don't, don't talk to him, he's useless.

Speaker 1 There was like a couple of moments where, you know, it was a dad moment. And someone's going, oh, you know, blah, blah, blah.
I felt bad the next day. Like, that's not me.
I never do that shit.

Speaker 1 I have a strict rule about that. That,

Speaker 1 you know, I'm not, you know, I don't booze anymore. I've laid off the cigars.

Speaker 1 And so occasionally I smoke weed. I've just never been a weed guy.
But my rule is: my kids have to be in bed.

Speaker 1 They got to be in bed. And I broke the rule.
And oh, did I pay for it?

Speaker 1 Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 And then I ended up vibing with one of my buddies. And we were saying this shit.
We were fucking laughing our asses off. You ever have something just you and your buddy get it and nobody else gets it?

Speaker 1 We were doing this thing. We were talking about, you know, Hollywood.
Really hasn't been buying a lot of things this year, but they're still taking pitch meetings, which is funny.

Speaker 1 So you get these pitch meetings, you put it all together, you got your tap dance shoes on, your top hat and cane, and you're fucking, you're pitching them this shit, right?

Speaker 1 And they're not buying it. So I was pitching a show with a buddy of mine who's not really in this business, but he came up with a good idea.
I was like, dude, let's fucking.

Speaker 1 So we wrote a pilot, we did the whole thing, we got artwork, did the whole fucking thing, you know, a pitch.

Speaker 1 And we pitched to all these people. They're dying, laughing, they love it and everything, but nobody buys it.
So I told him, like, you know, I don't know what's going on.

Speaker 1 They haven't been buying stuff. I don't know if they're still pissed from the strike.
I don't know what, I don't know what's going on, right?

Speaker 1 So he goes, well, if they're not buying anything, like, why are they taking meetings?

Speaker 1 And I started thinking, like, yeah, why are they doing that? They're just wasting our time. So that was the jump-off point for the joke.

Speaker 1 Cause I go, you know, to get them back, we should keep taking pitch meetings and just pick some terrible fucking ideas and waste their time back.

Speaker 1 So we started coming up with sequels, me and my buddy, right? We started coming up with sequels to movies that didn't need a sequel and were just trying to make the worst movie ever.

Speaker 1 And the first one, my buddy goes, he goes, all right, he goes, he goes, two flu over the cuckoo's nest.

Speaker 1 And then I go, yeah, I go, this time, he's keeping the sink, right?

Speaker 1 Which was the funniest shit ever to us. If you watched one flu over the cuckoo's nest, spoiler alert.
In the end, when Chief breaks out, he fucking yanks this, I don't know what.

Speaker 1 There's crazy, there's sink for crazy people. So it's like literally double bolted into the ground.
He fucking lifts this thing up and he threw it through the window. And that's how he got out.

Speaker 1 And so we were going to pitch

Speaker 1 the story of whatever happened to the sink. And the whole movie, it was going to be like one flew over the cuckoo's nest meets the fugitive.
And

Speaker 1 the chief, the Indian was going to be running with the sink the whole movie like a football because it meant something to him. Because he's nuts, right?

Speaker 1 And Tommy Lee Jones was going to be chasing him. And dude, I was high.
This shit was funny as hell to me. So I'm like, yeah.
And then you could have that waterfall scene scene like in the fugitive.

Speaker 1 And I'm like, the Indians talking like really bad, you know,

Speaker 1 white movies that we made about Native Americans. And he's going like, this one sink means something to me.
And then Tommy Lee Jones, like, I don't care.

Speaker 1 He jumps over the fucking waterfall, down in the waterfall with the sink. I don't know.

Speaker 1 I don't know. Maybe it wasn't that funny, but we were fucking crying, laughing.
And they were just endless. Big part two.
This time it isn't statutory rape.

Speaker 1 Because that's the thing now. The big thing now is for all these young people to be like, oh my God, you see Revenge of the Nerds? Oh, my God.

Speaker 1 It's like a fucking rape scene in there. Hello? Whoa, the 80s were weird, but that's because it happened to a woman.
But no one gives a fuck about the little boy.

Speaker 1 That was a little boy in that fucking adult body. That was a 10-year-old brain.

Speaker 1 Getting some 35-year-old hairy puss jumping on his fucking now all of a sudden man-sized dick like that wouldn't fuck him up.

Speaker 1 Imagine if that was flipped, if big was about a woman, and then she went there and some fucking

Speaker 1 junior executive fucking jumped on and started pounding away. I mean, that's a completely different movie.

Speaker 1 The French patient. This time, he's French.

Speaker 1 Listen, the whole purpose was to

Speaker 1 waste their time. Michael Douglas is back in questionable consent.

Speaker 1 This is what we were doing on Thanksgiving. And me and my buddy were fucking crying, laughing, and everybody else was just staring at it.
I go, this time he keeps the sink?

Speaker 1 That's not funny.

Speaker 1 Nia's just staring at me. She's just going, Bill, you're high.

Speaker 1 I go, I know I am, but that's picture the poster. The big Indian chief running like it's a football.
And fucking Tommy Lee Jones in a police car trying to drive after him.

Speaker 1 It's like the $6 million man, too, because he's out running the car.

Speaker 1 They just weren't having it. They weren't having it.
Maybe it was woefully miscast.

Speaker 1 Anyway, but that's like my favorite thing to do now is just come up with these bad pitches because

Speaker 1 I don't know. I had a couple really good ideas and they did, I might just do the Shane Gillis thing and just fucking make the thing and then see if, you know.

Speaker 1 That takes big balls because then if you don't sell it, then you're sitting on this fucking thing. Everybody's always like, oh, just put it on YouTube and then you can get your money back.

Speaker 1 No, YouTube, if they flag your video, listen to this scam. If YouTube flags your video,

Speaker 1 you don't get advertising money on it. If somebody complains, it gets flagged.
So then I said to them, I go, oh, does that, so then that means you don't run an ad on it?

Speaker 1 They go, no, we still run the ad. I go, well, then who keeps the money?

Speaker 1 And they're like, um,

Speaker 1 oh, I don't, I don't know. You're keeping it, you cunts.
So now what's stopping you from having a room full of people flagging videos on your own fucking site to make more money?

Speaker 1 You know, I remember one time I was talking to a streaming service, and they were talking about how something I did performed.

Speaker 1 And they were trying to, like, you know, I was going, I think I should be making this amount of money. And they're going, like, nah, it should be this.
And I go, you got to be fucking kidding me.

Speaker 1 That last thing I did killed.

Speaker 1 And then they're like, well, you know, it didn't do as well as so-and-so's blah, blah, blah. And I go, how would I know that?

Speaker 1 How the fuck would I know that? All the information is going to you. All I know is what you're telling me.
What's to prevent you from telling me my thing's underperforming when it isn't?

Speaker 1 And he literally goes, well, you know, we could get in trouble for fraud. I'm like, by who?

Speaker 1 Who the fuck is watching you?

Speaker 1 Nobody is watching these people. That's what's funny.
There's a booking agency. that I'm working for currently for the third time.

Speaker 1 The government's going after them saying that they're they're a monopoly and nothing's going to happen. It's unfucking believable.
They own the venues, they own the fucking ticketing,

Speaker 1 they produce the fucking shows. I mean, it's open and shut.
The whole fucking thing is open and shut. It's like beyond a monopoly.
But what happened is, is they deregulated capitalism.

Speaker 1 Deregulated is a fucking nightmare. Regulated is fantastic.

Speaker 1 Now we took the leash off. Remember those fucking parents, those parents that had their kids on leashes? That's the way the government used to be with these fucking corporations.

Speaker 1 They'd be like, all right, all right, no, no, no, no, no, you can't buy that other corporation because then you're going to have too much market share and that's going to be too fucking crazy.

Speaker 1 That's all they were doing.

Speaker 1 And then the corporations were like, see, man, like, it's things like that that prevents us from doing even more business and growing even bigger because the bigger we grow, then we're going to create all these jobs.

Speaker 1 And the politicians believed it on both sides. And now look at it.

Speaker 1 Now they call monopolies consolidation.

Speaker 1 And then they got Democrats and Republicans yelling at each other as if we're playing football against each other. And when we're not, we're on the same fucking team.

Speaker 1 I'm going to say this every fucking week. It's a public service announcement.
It needs to be said. We are not on opposite teams.
We're on the same fucking team.

Speaker 1 The same dick that is in your ass is in my fucking ass. There you go.
All right?

Speaker 1 It's not me versus you. It's us versus them, but we're yelling at each other.
So they're sitting in the stands now just laughing at us as we try to move the ball like Ohio State. Oh,

Speaker 1 that was unnecessary. All right, before I get too far into this podcast, this podcasting here,

Speaker 1 one of my great friends in this business and an incredible comedian

Speaker 1 and just artist in general and person, Bianca Cristovao's show, Gold Digger.

Speaker 1 Saturday, December 7th at Union Hall in Brooklyn, 702 Union Street. Doors open at at 7 p.m.

Speaker 1 You know, I've had a lot of people open for me over the years, and she's right at the top of the list, and

Speaker 1 she's just been killing it. I don't want to tell all her business, but she's been out there selling stuff,

Speaker 1 writing projects and selling stuff. And

Speaker 1 I kind of knew from early on, I'm like, there's no way she's not going to make it because she's not sitting around waiting for someone else to give her an opportunity.

Speaker 1 She is creating her own opportunities by working her ass off day and night. So I am beyond proud of her.
I love her to death.

Speaker 1 She's going to be at Union Hall in Brooklyn, New York Saturday, September 7th. Doors open at 7 p.m.

Speaker 1 Go see her show. And

Speaker 1 I'm loving all her new stuff. All right, now.
Let's move on.

Speaker 1 I brought it up. Michigan versus Ohio State.
I'm not going to sit here and act like I had any idea that game was going to go like that.

Speaker 1 That reminded me of when a brawler gets into the ring with a boxer, and the boxer knows all I got to do is just box. I'm technically better than this person, and I can win this game.

Speaker 1 And Michigan, their game plan won out. You know what they were going to do? Is fucking run the ball and eat up the clock.
This is going to be a possession thing. They have

Speaker 1 better than us at every offensive position.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 I don't know what the fuck. you know, the defense played fucking great.
What did they have? Two picks, a bunch of deflected balls,

Speaker 1 stopped them in the red zone. I don't even know how many times they came away with no points.
And it was a classic Big Ten game. 10 to 10 at the half, 10 to 10 into the fourth quarter.

Speaker 1 Final score, 13 to 10.

Speaker 1 I mean, it was a sloppy game. It was an ugly game.

Speaker 1 But like what they did in a very sloppy way was how those early Belichick Brady teams used to beat like the fucking Indianapolis Colts when they had the three-headed monster.

Speaker 1 We would somehow make it, we would just somehow dominate the time of possession

Speaker 1 and get some turnovers and pressure the quarterback and take away their best guy. You got to beat us with your second guy, all of that.
And it fucking worked like a charm. So

Speaker 1 with that, for the first time in a long time, unfortunately, there were seniors graduating on that Buckeye team and in the stands who the Buckeyes lost all to Michigan all four fucking years.

Speaker 1 I mean, now let's be honest, that happened in Michigan for about fucking three generations

Speaker 1 at the beginning part of this decade, so

Speaker 1 this century, I should say. I feel like from like 2001 until they finally beat them in

Speaker 1 2021.

Speaker 1 Anyway, so congratulations to them. Alabama stomping all over Auburn

Speaker 1 in the

Speaker 1 War Eagle game, whatever, Iron Bowl.

Speaker 1 Every year I say, I'm going to that. And this year

Speaker 1 I asked my lovely wife Saturday night.

Speaker 1 I was like, I'm going to that. And she goes,

Speaker 1 when is it? I go, it's the Saturday after Thanksgiving. I go, I'm going to that.
She goes, no, you're not. And then I go, well, that was, it wasn't a question.
It was a statement.

Speaker 1 And then she just laughed. We were on a date.
We were on like a couple's date, right? The other couple,

Speaker 1 Nia laughed and goes, see, that's how I do it. He's picking up on my tricks.

Speaker 1 So anyway, I'm going to go to that. And it's in Auburn because I've already been to a game in Alabama.
And I want to see that, you know, when they let the Eagle go.

Speaker 1 And who knows, you know?

Speaker 1 With all of this payola that's out in the open now, who knows what happens? Who knows what the fuck happens? And then lastly,

Speaker 1 Notre Dame versus USC, aka pedophiles versus payola.

Speaker 1 Right here.

Speaker 1 Nobody called it that.

Speaker 1 Right here in L.A. Memorial Coliseum.
There's fucking nobody there.

Speaker 1 He's outside the pocket. He has to protect himself.

Speaker 1 He's got to protect himself. I will say this.
I love college football. I love lamp.
I love lamp. I love college football because it looks like the football I grew up with.

Speaker 1 But whenever they implement that red light, one, two, three, red light kickoff and they start, oh my God, they're going to start protecting quarterbacks like that because they're going to have like a $10 million

Speaker 1 guy

Speaker 1 on the field. And here's another thing.

Speaker 1 If I'm the NFL,

Speaker 1 you know, this has to be, they got to be sitting around going, you know, a problem we had way back in like the 1930s, 20s and 30s, is when they first got the professional football league going

Speaker 1 um college football was way more popular

Speaker 1 and uh over the years maybe i you know they always credit that giants colts game at yankee stadium the greatest game ever played or whatever but that put the nfl on the map i mean they were already going by that point jim brown was playing they had all these great guys bobby lane um

Speaker 1 You know, Paul Brown and all of those guys over there, Otto Graham.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 midnight train lane or whatever the fuck his name was, all of those old school guys, right?

Speaker 1 You know, it took him a good 20, 30 years to kind of get going, right?

Speaker 1 And before, like, baseball was a national pastime, like the two biggest things was horse racing and boxing were the two big ones. It's so amazing.
And then baseball kind of takes over.

Speaker 1 And then football starts to kind of put a dent in. Basketball is sort of like, you you know, this

Speaker 1 and hockey.

Speaker 1 We're,

Speaker 1 you know, on the outside looking in. Basketball until the 80s, even with the ABA was taken off or whatever, but the 80s was when, you know, Bird and Magic, Dr.
J, into Jordan,

Speaker 1 and they are where they are now. And then the fight game comes back with the fucking UFC.
So this shit's all cyclical, right? And meanwhile, soccer.

Speaker 1 worldwide, known as football, has always been killing it.

Speaker 1 So

Speaker 1 I feel like the NFL is in this really weird place right now where it's like they're desperately trying to go international.

Speaker 1 And I say desperate because I feel like people don't give a fuck about this game, right? But

Speaker 1 they've been having shows and shows, games in Berlin, they've been England and whatever, trying to like...

Speaker 1 get some sort of fan base shit going for that NFL Europe thing that they tried a long time ago.

Speaker 1 But meanwhile, here comes college football. Now they're paying people.

Speaker 1 And now they have like this fucking 12-team playoff system that starts in December.

Speaker 1 Now, I got to ask you, what the fuck are you watching at the end of December? Are you watching games 15, 16, 17, where most teams are out of the playoffs? Or are you going to be watching

Speaker 1 college football's version of March Madness?

Speaker 1 I would be very concerned about that.

Speaker 1 You know, the NFL, how they're like, we own fucking Sunday. And then, you know, and everybody's like, all right, man, Sunday's your fucking day.
All right, you got Sunday. And then they took Monday.

Speaker 1 They took Monday nights. And now they're taking Thursday, right? Like your fucking ex just keeps dragging you back to court, trying to get more fucking money out of you.

Speaker 1 Well, now I think that I think this is going to be, the NFL is going to be the NFL, but this is going to be one of these things where, you know, the other person's losing the fight and then all of a sudden there's that uppercut that just twists the dude's head around almost past his shoulder And the announcer goes, oh, he hurt him.

Speaker 1 He is hurt. He's just trying to survive the route.
I think that that's what this is going to be. And

Speaker 1 I am all for it. This fucking college football playoff, and they're getting paid now, so you don't have to feel guilty going, these kids are out of here.

Speaker 1 Every time you see somebody go down in these extra games, you're like, fuck.

Speaker 1 You know, the Willis McGehee thing, right?

Speaker 1 For no money. And then they get in trouble selling their own jerseys.
Now they're finally fucking paying them. They're finally admitting.

Speaker 1 Okay?

Speaker 1 We'll make a ton of money off of these fucking kids. It's not about the education.
This fucking shit pays for the whole campus and our horse. All right.

Speaker 1 We're going to break something off for the kids. They got this fucking 12-game playoff thing.
I don't know. I don't know.
You know, it takes a lot

Speaker 1 to get a fucking

Speaker 1 advanced aged bald ginger like me excited. And I am excited about this.
12 fucking teams, three weeks.

Speaker 1 Go fuck yourself. It's going to be unbelievable.
I am very excited. That's all I want to convey to you.
And if I was the NFL, I would be thinking, like, this could really

Speaker 1 put a dent. Well, you know what they're doing.
They're such cunts, the NFL. You know what they're doing.
They're probably, you cannot have your playoff games on Tuesdays.

Speaker 1 You cannot have them on Mondays. You cannot have them on Sundays.

Speaker 1 Well, what the fuck about you? You were Sunday. You took Monday and Thursday, didn't you? Well, didn't you?

Speaker 1 Anyway, I got the New Orleans Saints laying three. They're up three to nothing.
Second quarter, 9-10 to go.

Speaker 1 I put money on a 4-17, people. That's what I did.

Speaker 1 That's what I did. They got a good defense, though.
Look at that. He's right there.
Is that Cooper Cup?

Speaker 1 You know, it was my favorite thing. I was in this conservative city, and I heard this woman calling her kid.
Her kid's name was Reagan.

Speaker 1 i'm like that is awesome how conservative can you be

Speaker 1 slash dumb can you be

Speaker 1 so many people think he was a fantastic president oh my god did those corporations just fucking waltz him around come on in here ronnie come on uh yeah sign this oh this will be a good this will be good for uh working class americans he helped ended the cold war

Speaker 1 This is how much you know he did for rich people. When Ronald Reagan died, they paraded his body around for like two fucking weeks.
That's how much money he made for rich people.

Speaker 1 They haven't done that for any other dead president. Ronald Reagan, they were like, one, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, da, for like fucking two weeks.

Speaker 1 It was like, you know, some of these bands' farewell tours, like, how many, they added another leg. It's like, you're not fucking going away.

Speaker 1 All right. Anyway, what else? What else? Two flu of the cuckoo's nest.
This time he's keeping the sync. And my buddy even made a, he made like a poster.
He sent me a picture of it.

Speaker 1 It's fucking hilarious to me. I don't know if it is to you, but like, if you guys want to pitch some, uh,

Speaker 1 and the key is it has to be a movie that, you know, was so good you wouldn't want to try to redo it, or it just, it's over. Like, there's no reason the story's done.
We get it, Bill.

Speaker 1 You don't have to fucking overexplain it. All right.
Well, I've been working out

Speaker 1 and

Speaker 1 getting ready to do my little Broadway show here.

Speaker 1 Oh,

Speaker 1 what are the actors call doing Broadway?

Speaker 1 Surfing the boards, gliding on the boards. I don't know what it is.
It's something about the stage. And it's just

Speaker 1 gloriously like inside the actor's studio. Remember that guy used to host it?

Speaker 1 Like, just the level of importance that he could put on

Speaker 1 things.

Speaker 1 It's something like that, where it's just like, all right, I don't think I'm,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 I mean, I'm walking on a stage. I mean, it's elevated so the people in the back can see.
I think that that's what's happening more than anybody

Speaker 1 gliding on the board, whatever, whatever they say. I don't know.
It that really there's really nothing wrong with what actors say when they say that. It just has more to do with my fucking issues.

Speaker 1 Surprise, surprise.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 once again, go see Bianca. All right, that would mean the world to me if you would help her

Speaker 1 sell these last few tickets. Union Hall,

Speaker 1 Brooklyn, New York, December 7th, 7 p.m. All right, with that, with that, and with that,

Speaker 1 and with that, let's get into

Speaker 1 the reads for the week. Oh, would you look who it is? It's all zip.

Speaker 1 Talk about things that take a long time to do.

Speaker 1 I don't know, taking a shit when you're constipated. You know, you squeeze, you fucking, you know, you rock back and forth.

Speaker 1 You know, you stick a fire hose up your sorting through countless emails. Oh, I'm sorry, I went in the wrong direction.
Look who it is, everybody. It's old Zip

Speaker 1 Recruiter.

Speaker 1 You know,

Speaker 1 some days when I'm looking at my sock drawer, I'm like, holy jeepers, creepers, where did I get all these tube socks? You know, and how come so many of them don't have a matching pair?

Speaker 1 You know, it's a pain in the ass.

Speaker 1 What am I supposed to be doing here? Growing a plant?

Speaker 1 Anyway, if you're an employer, oh, wait, sorting through countless emails, putting together a piece of office furniture, growing a plant. See, they already wrote the jokes.

Speaker 1 I didn't need to do all that. And if you're an employer, you can add hiring to this list.
But now, there's hopes thanks to Zipruder. Zip ZipRecruiter finds qualified candidates fast.

Speaker 1 Veet.

Speaker 1 And today you can try it for free at ziprecruiter.com slash burr. ZipRecruiter is the hiring site employers prefer the most based on G2.

Speaker 1 How fast does Zip?

Speaker 1 That was the sneezing version. Smart technology, start showcasing your job to qualified candidates immediately.

Speaker 1 Their powerful matching technology works fast to find top talent so you don't waste time or money. You can invite top candidates for your job to apply, not those whores out in the street.

Speaker 1 Top shelf talent to encourage them to apply sooner. Okay? Let Zip

Speaker 1 find top talent for your roles in no time at all. See why four out of five employers who post on Zip Recruiter get a quality candidate within the first day.
And if you go to zip

Speaker 1 recruiter.com slash burr, go there right now. Ziprecruiter.com slash burr right now.
You can try it for free.

Speaker 1 That's the same price as laughing so hard that your sides hurt or getting a compliment from a random stranger. Again, that's ziprecruiter.com slash burr.
Zip Recruiter.

Speaker 1 The smartest way to hire.

Speaker 1 Oh, God, I always impress myself the way I read that last line.

Speaker 1 Look at Derek Carr throwing the ball down the fucking field. He knocked it out of his hands.
Indochino,

Speaker 1 this Black Friday or last Black Friday or whatever, instead of just looking for good deals, get a deal that will make you look good.

Speaker 1 Get custom-made clothing at the best prices all year from the global leader in made-to-measure apparel.

Speaker 1 Their Black Friday sale runs November 18th through December 1st, and their cyber sale goes from December 2nd to December 8th, all at Indochino.com.

Speaker 1 Design the suit of your dreams and fine-tune every detail, including linings, monograms, pocket flaps,

Speaker 1 etc.

Speaker 1 A tailored fit from home. Set up your measurement profile on Indochino's website and choose customizations without even leaving the house.
Or a premium in-person experience.

Speaker 1 Book an appointment at a showroom near you and let an Indochino style guide walk you through every step. Upgrade your closest, your closet, sorry.

Speaker 1 Update your closet and shop discounted custom pieces and bundles at Indochino.com during their Black Friday sale,

Speaker 1 November 18th through December 1st, and their cyber sale from December 2nd to December 8th. That's I-N-D-O-C-H-I-N-O.com.

Speaker 1 Indochino.com. All right.

Speaker 1 Is this? Oh, this is this is an ad. All right.
Public Wreck.

Speaker 1 REC.

Speaker 1 Let's be real, guys.

Speaker 1 Wearing nice pants sucks. Who decided that stiff, uncomfortable fabric, squeezing your family jewels was the key to looking sharp?

Speaker 1 I feel like my balls swing pretty free in a nice pair of slacks.

Speaker 1 Slacks.

Speaker 1 Oh, they got this Corona commercial again this year.

Speaker 1 It's just timeless.

Speaker 1 All right, well, here's an easy holiday gift.

Speaker 1 Sorry. Well, here's an easy, well, here's an early holiday gift from me to you.
These days are finally over. Public Rex Daymaker pants are here to make sure you stay comfy and classy this season.

Speaker 1 They feel like your favorite sweats, but they look like tailored pants. Get the fuck out of here.
Yep, super stretchy with an elastic waistband so you can rock them anywhere.

Speaker 1 Now, I'm going to tell you this. These are comfortable for your balls.
They're also comfortable for your waist.

Speaker 1 So watch out for these fucking elastic things because you'll put on 20 pounds and not even know it.

Speaker 1 Back in the day, back in the day, back in the day when I was young and I had a red fro, your fucking jeans let you know with your belt, dude. Those things dug into your hips.

Speaker 1 You had a fucking red mark. You had a red mark like your mom hit you with the fucking extension cord.
And you were like, holy shit. I gotta lay off the fucking Michelobes.

Speaker 1 Whether you're kicking back with holiday movies, making your way through leftovers, or watching bowl games with the boys, these pants have you covered.

Speaker 1 Give the gift of comfort to yourself for someone you love this holiday season.

Speaker 1 Sorry, I keep fucking out of here with Public Rex Daymaker pants.

Speaker 1 And for a limited time, you can get 20% off your entire order with code burr at publicret.com. That's 20% off when you use the promo code burr at publicrec.com.

Speaker 1 Usually, when you order comfortable pants, you only get to pick from small, medium, large, and extra-large sizes. With Daymaker,

Speaker 1 one of the only songs I don't like from Led Zeppelin, Daymaker.

Speaker 1 It's on the Houses of Holy album. Check it out.
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh. It's actually Dire Maker, but you're supposed to pronounce it Germaker.

Speaker 1 That's what every stone I had to let you know. That was what they knew.
They couldn't name the capital of your fucking state, but they knew that information.

Speaker 1 With Daymaker pants, you get to select the exact width and and length you need. Whether you're a 30 by 32 or a 44 by 36, you can find your perfect fitting pants.

Speaker 1 Public Rec, not, I'm going to look at this shit.

Speaker 1 Fucking

Speaker 1 sweatpants, slacks.

Speaker 1 This is unbelievable. This is an unholy matrimony of fabrics.
Public Rec

Speaker 1 has the most comfortable pants ever made, but they have a huge, not only do they have the most comfortable pants ever made, but they also have a huge selection.

Speaker 1 You know, that's bad. That's not written right.
Not only, then you say, but also, but they didn't.

Speaker 1 They said, Public Rec not only has the most comfortable pants ever made, but they have a huge, no, but also, they have a huge selection of high-quality everyday basics, unless they've changed that, like the kickoff.

Speaker 1 You can revamp your entire wardrobe with perfect fitting polo shorts and hoodies. Stop suffering in regular pants.

Speaker 1 Dude, so much of this shit is just eat a fucking salad.

Speaker 1 How are you suffering in regular pants? Oh, because it's grabbing you nuts. All right.
And give the... Okay, I'm sorry.
I get it now. I get it.

Speaker 1 And give the gift of comfort this holiday season for a limited time. Only our listeners get 20% off when you use the code BURR.
B-U-R-R at checkout. That's 20% off the code BURR at publicrec.com.

Speaker 1 After you purchase, they'll ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show.

Speaker 1 The way your tight jeans are supporting your balls right now, pushing them up like a cup titties. And tell them we sent you.
Say goodbye to pants that put up a fight because

Speaker 1 when comfort meets style, you found public wreck.

Speaker 1 All right. Oh, what else? We got we got one more here.

Speaker 1 Jesus Christ.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Open phone.

Speaker 1 Running a small business means you're wearing a lot of hats. Your personal phone becomes your business phone.
And before you know it, you're juggling customer calls day and night.

Speaker 1 As your team grows, it becomes impossible to manage with your personal number. That's where open phone comes in.
Or you could just get another number. I don't know about this one.

Speaker 1 This is like open phone. And then it's like, where do these calls go? Who's listening?

Speaker 1 If you're an entrepreneur, you know that every missed call is a missed opportunity, but potential customers won't wait. They'll call the next business on their list.

Speaker 1 With open phone, you'll never let another customer call go unanswered.

Speaker 1 If your business has a growing team handling calls, whether it's sales or support, you know how tricky it can be to stay on top of things, like who responded to that customer? Did anyone follow up?

Speaker 1 With Open Phone, you'll never have to wonder. They've built a system that lets you track when calls are answered, who responded, and how they handle it all in one piece.

Speaker 1 How they handled it, you listening in on it, letting you focus on growing your business.

Speaker 1 For just $15 a month, the cost of a few coffees, you can get,

Speaker 1 how the fuck is coffee, two cups of coffee, 15 bucks?

Speaker 1 Because we're still in Iraq and we're printing money with nothing behind. Nah, it's the immigrant.

Speaker 1 You get complete transparency and visibility information into everything happening with your business phone number. They use AI-powered call transcripts and summaries.

Speaker 1 So you'll have a summary of your phone call with action items as soon as you hang up.

Speaker 1 And if you miss a call, automated messages are sent directly to your customers, meaning you'll never miss an opportunity to engage with them.

Speaker 1 Right now, Open Phone is offering 20% off your first six months when you go to openphone.com slash burr. That's O-P-E-N-P-H-O-N-E dot com slash Burr.

Speaker 1 It's amazing how many ones are perfect, like Mississippi. For 20% off six months, openphone.com slash burr.

Speaker 1 And if you have existing numbers with another service, Open Phone will port them over at no extra charge. All right.

Speaker 1 Now let's get to what you guys really want to hear. You really want to hear what you had to say this week.
What did you have to say?

Speaker 1 All right. Modesto, dear brick top Billy.
In the behind the scenes of the movie Snatch, Bricktop is a cockney slang for a red-headed fella. I like that.
Bricktop's cool. I don't mind that.

Speaker 1 Carrot top, brick top, fuckhead. I mean, none of it bugs me.
I knew where it was coming from. I knew where all of that was coming from.
I saw the fear in the pigmented people's eyes.

Speaker 1 All you people who had brown and black hair, I saw the fear.

Speaker 1 That's why you came with the redheads, because secretly you were sitting there going like, all right, I was dealt the royal flush of a hand in life, and I don't know what the fuck to do with it.

Speaker 1 As opposed to me, you know, was sitting there holding a pair of sixes and I acted like I had some fucking kings and queens and people bought it. I don't know why, but they did.
And here I sit,

Speaker 1 you know, all happy and freckled. Central California native here.
Oh, nice. I just did the Central Valley and have been a fan since the Chappelle show.
I was at the Modesto show last Thursday.

Speaker 1 Thank you for coming to our town. It was a great time.
Also, love seeing you deal with that loud lady who just so happened to be my old boss.

Speaker 1 My wife and I were going to see Anthony Jeslanesk in Stockton, but

Speaker 1 he canceled. So you were here.

Speaker 1 Give it up for Chicago.

Speaker 2 Sebastian Maniscalco's new stand-up special, It Ain't Right, is coming to Hulu on November 21st.

Speaker 1 30 years ago, Jeff Bezos, complete nerd. Bezos now ripped to shreds on his super yacht, and the boxes keep coming.

Speaker 2 Sebastian Maniscalco, It Ain't Right, premieres November 21st, streaming on Hulu and Hulu on Disney Plus for bundle subscribers. Terms apply.

Speaker 1 So you were her first live stand-up. Oh, all right.

Speaker 1 That was the booby prize. She wanted to see Anthony.
I assumed you would have made it to the American Graffiti Car Museum, seeing as how it's our one, it's one of our only attractions.

Speaker 1 That and the Scott Peterson house. Since you have such an appreciation of classic cars, you should check out our annual car show.
American Graffiti.

Speaker 1 Yes, named after George Lucas's early film about cruising around Modesto.

Speaker 1 I, you know, until I went to Modesto, I had no idea they shot it there.

Speaker 1 But I did think in the beginning of that movie when that kid rides up in the scooter that

Speaker 1 he fucks up and sideswipes the building. I died laughing, and it looks so real.
I'm like, that had to have been an accident. It was real.
And then Dean Del Rey

Speaker 1 found information that confirmed that that was a happy accident. It was hilarious, and they kept it in the movie.
All right, moving on. Just last year, we had to cut the cruise off at a thousand cars.

Speaker 1 And for a few hours, the streets shut down for regular traffic so they could do a lap around town. Most of the legit car clubs here post up instead of cruising.
Too bad we just shut down

Speaker 1 the old A ⁇ W that was actually in the movie. Oh no, did you? That was an A ⁇ W.
It was also a root beer thing. There's so many things about that movie.
Now there's another thing.

Speaker 1 I kind of have a rule. You know, I don't eat fast food or whatever.
When I get in the middle of nowhere, usually Montana, Wyoming, or wherever, you know, Idaho, they still have those A and W places.

Speaker 1 And I always have to go in. I got to get a burger, man, and a root beer.
It's just, it takes me back to my childhood.

Speaker 1 I don't know what, when I first had a root beer, I just thought it was the greatest.

Speaker 1 It was the greatest thing I had ever had.

Speaker 1 You know, buying packs of football cards, you know, putting that stale, powdered fucking gum in your mouth, and then drinking a root beer.

Speaker 1 The level of sugar that was involved in my 1970s, into the 80s childhoods was fucking amazing. My joints are still inflamed from

Speaker 1 the gum I chewed in those fucking

Speaker 1 football cards.

Speaker 1 Anyway.

Speaker 1 Hope you can make it to the car show one year. Please do another

Speaker 1 close if you do.

Speaker 1 Go fuck yourself. I had such a great time, man.

Speaker 1 I really

Speaker 1 loved going to those places. I'd never been to them.
And then I also loved how much you guys appreciated that I came there. Speaking of which, look, here's another part.
Visalia.

Speaker 1 Hey, Bill, thanks for coming to all the small towns in California.

Speaker 1 I saw you at the Fox and my brother saw you in Stockton. The communities in these towns are really great.
And after living in Los Angeles for a decade, it was a really nice return to Americana.

Speaker 1 It's all Americana. Big cities, traffic, middle of nowhere with your arm hanging out the window, whatever you want.
We got it here.

Speaker 1 It's already great. We don't need some fucking orange-headed cunt with no fucking plan

Speaker 1 who says he has a plan to make it great again. It's already fucking great.

Speaker 1 It's already fucking great. If we could just rein in the CEOs of these fucking corporations, I think that and save what's left of the middle class.
I think, you know,

Speaker 1 be honest with yourself. What the fuck do you want in life?

Speaker 1 You know, you want a fucking, you know, you want a nice house that you could pay off, make the payments,

Speaker 1 you know, have a nice fucking ride, have a beautiful wife, a husband, whatever you're into.

Speaker 1 And aren't you content working for somebody? I didn't give a fucking for somebody else. It wasn't until I got in this business.
Then I ended up working for myself.

Speaker 1 But like, I didn't mind doing that shit.

Speaker 1 And my job was over on Friday, and I have to fucking think about it until Monday. That was fantastic.

Speaker 1 Let that fucking guy at the top deal with all the bullshit and the stock holders and all of that crap, and he can make, you know,

Speaker 1 stupid fucking money, but not to the point

Speaker 1 that he fucking squeezes out the middle class. I mean, I think that's a fair,

Speaker 1 I think that's fair, right?

Speaker 1 You can still have a yacht and fucking whores and cocaine and, you know,

Speaker 1 go have breakfast with the president for $5,000 a plate, whatever those fucking people, do you can still do that without crushing

Speaker 1 the middle class? Why would you do that?

Speaker 1 It's fucking unreal.

Speaker 1 Just like real life Grinches.

Speaker 1 Anyway, plowing ahead here.

Speaker 1 With the exception of American Pickers and shows like that, I think the actual character of America still exists in our art and architecture. So, thanks for highlighting that.
Yeah, no, I loved it.

Speaker 1 I loved going there. And,

Speaker 1 you know, most of those cities, for the most part, still had a nice downtown area.

Speaker 1 And

Speaker 1 that wasn't just taken over by fucking 52 Starbucks and a Lululemon.

Speaker 1 Just in an Apple store. Fuck all those places.

Speaker 1 Okay, speaking of which, my cell phone screen is all cracked. It's funny, somebody last night goes, did you throw your phone? And I just said, I did.

Speaker 1 Do you remember why? Of course not.

Speaker 1 Of course not.

Speaker 1 Felt good when I did it. Didn't feel good when I picked it up.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 This person continues to say,

Speaker 1 living in a major city made me really cynical about almost everything. Well, yeah, that'll happen.

Speaker 1 That's faded a lot since then. Last week, I bought a cake from some moms having a bake sale for a charity.
Cake was amazing, and I didn't wince at the price, so I tipped a little extra for the karma.

Speaker 1 There you go, that's great. Thanks for coming through.
And that's what we need to be doing right there.

Speaker 1 Fuck these corporate people. Go to a mom-and-pop place.

Speaker 1 You know, you help them out, you're helping yourself out. Don't always go for the deals at the big box stores.
Fuck those people. I went to Best Buy yesterday.
Who the fuck am I?

Speaker 1 Sucking on a chili dog.

Speaker 1 This person says, John Cougar's song lyric refers to an offshoot of a slush puppy.

Speaker 1 Pictured, included in the email. Oh, shit.
That's what it is.

Speaker 1 That's what a chili dog is.

Speaker 1 I always thought that was some sort of weird thing, you know,

Speaker 1 saying his girlfriend's blowing him while he was eating some junk food. I had no idea what that meant.
Sucking old chili dog behind the shady tree.

Speaker 1 Hey, Diane, why don't you come over in, touch my tree?

Speaker 1 And not

Speaker 1 a traditional chili dog that consists of

Speaker 1 fart stew and questionable meat byproducts, hence sucking as through a straw, enjoying the cold beverage in question. Who the fuck would suck on a meat byproduct chili dog? Aside from the who some

Speaker 1 in central Indiana, maybe.

Speaker 1 Go fuck yourself and keep up to great work. Well, there you go.
Maybe that, maybe that was.

Speaker 1 I mean, just the way he said it, it sounded dirty. Suck it on chili dog.

Speaker 1 He did everything but throw bitch in there.

Speaker 1 I mean, for white people, those were hard motherfucking lyrics in 1981.

Speaker 1 Bribing politicians.

Speaker 1 Hey, Billy, bribes. Here's a quick note on the U.S.
Supreme Court case that you keep alluding to. Most recently, 38 minutes into the 1021 podcast.
Oh, great. Now I'm on a list.

Speaker 1 You stated that the Supreme Court legalized bribing officials when the bribe can be considered a gratuity.

Speaker 1 The distinction that the majority of the court drew between bribes and gratuities is that bribes are payments made before an official act to influence a public official.

Speaker 1 wait before on an official act to influence a public official occurs gratitudes are payments made to a public official after official act occurs as a token of appreciation oh oh that's what it is this distinction would be insignificant but for the fact that these gratuities are also illegal.

Speaker 1 While federal law punishes gratuities less severely than bribes,

Speaker 1 they are still felonies that carry a maximum two-year prison sentence.

Speaker 1 Yeah, at some country club and you're out before Christmas. The maximum sentence for bribery is 15 years.

Speaker 1 Congress uses the word gratuity in drafting the law at issue is confusing since most people think of a gratuity as an innocent tip. or a gift.
Now, we're not that dumb.

Speaker 1 Everybody knows exactly what it is. It's a bribe.
You're just calling it a gratuity.

Speaker 1 Like you never talk to the politician. Hey, I liked how you're going to allow my, coincidentally, my company to pollute this fucking river.
You know, I appreciate that.

Speaker 1 Here's a little something for you. All right, there you go.
Don't spend it all in one place, huh? The case you keep referring to is Snyder versus the United States. It was decided this past June 26th.

Speaker 1 Trust me, I'm a lawyer. Smile.
Thanks again for the laugh. You're the man.
All right.

Speaker 1 I like this. He's got a sense of humor that he's a lawyer.
Snyder versus the United States. Who the fuck was the Snyder guy? And who does he want to fucking pay and for what?

Speaker 1 You'd think that CNN and Fox News would be interested in this. How interested they were in that fucking complete nobody that had a garage full of hand sanitizer.
At the beginning of the pandemic.

Speaker 1 And they, oh, they dragged that. Oh, how could you do this to your fellow country? This is disgusting.
This is what's wrong with this country right

Speaker 1 all right and then meanwhile big drug companies can charge like 600 bucks for a leukemia pill isn't that what they're doing man that never makes the news it's weird i i can't i you know if you guys could help me out i can't figure out why that is all right

Speaker 1 oh my god this guy this guy just sent me a fucking email that is going to change my fucking life.

Speaker 1 I don't know if, you know,

Speaker 1 if you guys send me shit like this,

Speaker 1 it's gonna fucking, you know, you know, like when you have a rescue dog and it like fixates on something and then you gotta like change the direction of its head or it's gonna fucking just

Speaker 1 go in whatever direction it's looking in. This is what this kid did to me.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 I've been everywhere, man.

Speaker 1 I've been everywhere, man. I've been everywhere.
Hey, Billy, pasta balls.

Speaker 1 Pasty balls. Sorry.
I was like, what the fuck is a pasta ball? Hey, Billy Pasty Balls. Love listening to your rants on stage or on your podcast.

Speaker 1 I wanted to provide you with the Johnny Cash song, I've Been Everywhere.

Speaker 1 I've included all the information you need to get the tour of tours

Speaker 1 started. I've added historical locations that you can perform at, along with seating capacities.
I also did a breakdown

Speaker 1 to three to six show loops at a time so you don't get fucking tuckered out. Dude, this is, you did my agent's job.
If you need more help, let me know. Now

Speaker 1 go out and get it done and go fuck yourself. This fucking guy, this fucking guy, he listened to the Johnny Cash I've Been Everywhere song.

Speaker 1 And then he listed every city that he talks about in it and where I could play.

Speaker 1 I mean, now I have to do this. And I would break it.
I break it up into about six legs. There's no fucking way I'm doing all of this at once.
I got the kiddos here. All right.

Speaker 1 And then I'm not going, you know, and then the places I've already been to are not making the tour. I do them anyway.
Okay, the first one, Reno, been there. Chicago, been there.
Fargo, been there.

Speaker 1 Minneapolis, been there. Buffalo, been there.
Toronto, yes. Sarasota.
I've been there,

Speaker 1 but I've never performed there. So I would do one there.
Wichita, I believe I've been there.

Speaker 1 But I'd throw that one there anyway. Tulsa, I've been there, Tampa done that.
Ottawa, yes, Oklahoma City.

Speaker 1 I've been to Oklahoma City, but I did stand up in the Tulsa area. No, wait,

Speaker 1 I did Tulsa.

Speaker 1 The Brady Theater. I love that fucking place.

Speaker 1 All right, so Oklahoma City, I would have Tampa done that. Panama City, never.

Speaker 1 What the fuck is Mattawa?

Speaker 1 Mattawa, Washington.

Speaker 1 I'm copying and pasting this

Speaker 1 and I'm sending this to my agent. This one here is a motherfucker.
Bangor, Maine.

Speaker 1 I should have knocked this one out

Speaker 1 a long time ago, 30 years ago, when I was still in Boston. I just never got booked on the gig.
There was a gig up there, and I remember there was this comedian who used to do a joke

Speaker 1 talking about, you know, you'd get directions. How do I get there? And it was like, take 95 North to the end.

Speaker 1 That's like when I used to do what they used to call the uptown rooms, the black rooms. I remember this guy, a good friend of mine, Drew Frazier, had this

Speaker 1 room, Manhattan proper.

Speaker 1 And I remember you got on the E-Train and you took it to the end.

Speaker 1 You rode it all the way out to Jamaica, Queens.

Speaker 1 All right, let's see what I got here.

Speaker 1 La Paloma, California. That's easy.
I could knock that one out. Bangor, Maine.
Baltimore, Ben there.

Speaker 1 Salvador, Brazil.

Speaker 1 Brazil. You want me to go to fucking Brazil? Oh, my God.
I mean, I would go down there. I go down there when the F1's there, a Moto GP.

Speaker 1 Oh, God, that's a long flight.

Speaker 1 Amarillo, Texas.

Speaker 1 I don't think I've ever done Amarillo. I've done Dallas.

Speaker 1 Tokopia, Chile. Now, come on, man.
He didn't go to these fucking places.

Speaker 1 He just said this shit because it rhymed.

Speaker 1 Barranquila, Columbia.

Speaker 1 I mean, I would just go to these places just to look at the beautiful women and just sit there like an old creep.

Speaker 1 That's what the fuck I would do. Smoking cigars.
Going, why the fuck didn't I come here 40 years ago? It's too late for me.

Speaker 1 I used to be somebody.

Speaker 1 Boston, okay, Charleston done that. Dayton, done that.
Louisiana done that. Washington, D.C., did that.
Houston, Kingston, New York, never done that. Texarkana, never did that.

Speaker 1 All right.

Speaker 1 Oscar Luska.

Speaker 1 What's IA? Is that Iowa?

Speaker 1 Yeah, I think that's Iowa. Nashville, done that.
Oh my God.

Speaker 1 Chickopee, I've done that.

Speaker 1 Spirit Lake, Iowa.

Speaker 1 Devil's Lake, North Dakota.

Speaker 1 Listen, I gotta be honest with you. I had so much fucking fun doing that Central Valley

Speaker 1 and,

Speaker 1 you know, Bakersfield and all of those places. I had so much fucking fun

Speaker 1 going there.

Speaker 1 I felt like I was, you know, it was the only thing left from those Jack Kerouac books of how you would go to a town. There would just be all these crazy fucking

Speaker 1 unique businesses and architecture and all of that stuff that you just didn't see before these fucking soulless corporate cunts just turned everything into

Speaker 1 fucking 10 businesses.

Speaker 1 Anyway,

Speaker 1 I'm going to copy and paste this list. I'm going to take out some of this shit that I've already been to.

Speaker 1 The South America thing, I wouldn't even know how to pull that off.

Speaker 1 Because believe me, I've tried to do gigs in Cuba and a few other places, and

Speaker 1 it's never been a situation where my agency felt comfortable with the person they were working with down there, and vice versa, because nobody knows each other.

Speaker 1 There's a fucking language barrier, and whatever, you know? So,

Speaker 1 I don't know. But anyway, we will figure it out.
But there's no fucking way I'm not going to go to South America at some point. Those are,

Speaker 1 it's just some of the most beautiful

Speaker 1 everything.

Speaker 1 The music, the people, the

Speaker 1 landscape, the architecture, everything. It is fucking gorgeous.

Speaker 1 It's gorgeous down there.

Speaker 1 I got to go down there. And like the level of fucking music fans, like how nuts they go at concerts, you know, how great they are in the World Cup, how much they like Moto GP and F1,

Speaker 1 you know,

Speaker 1 all right, they hid some Nazis. Every continent has some shit that, you know, maybe they shouldn't have done.

Speaker 1 But,

Speaker 1 yeah, good God Almighty. Yeah, that's all happy thoughts thinking Galapagos Islands.
There's so much shit down there. Fucking pure cocaine.
I mean, there's fucking shit to do.

Speaker 1 All right. Well, that is the podcast.
Oh, Billy.

Speaker 1 Oh, Billy Capskins. I'm back.
I've been playing the drums a lot.

Speaker 1 You know, Alex Van Halen has a new amazing book out and just made me go back for the umpteenth time and listen to his body of work.

Speaker 1 And I've been playing along to his

Speaker 1 trying to.

Speaker 1 The guy is just so fucking good and so original. And I just love the sound of his snare drum.

Speaker 1 I don't know. It leans towards Tony Williams to me when Tony was playing with the black dot on the head of his snare.
And

Speaker 1 Tony Williams, I mean, to me, Tony Williams is the greatest drummer of all time.

Speaker 1 I just think nobody.

Speaker 1 The the way he expressed himself and the fucking power, and then also

Speaker 1 the fact that they had to come up, like, he so changed drumming that they literally had to come up with

Speaker 1 like new names to describe what he, like, metric modulation. I mean, I might be wrong here.
I'm just a comedian fucking dad drummer here, but as far as I know, he came up with that shit.

Speaker 1 And I just find, like, out of all the drummers I've ever listened to, I've never seen a guy play

Speaker 1 with

Speaker 1 the creativity, the power, and then also his drum solos. Every single one of them is different and they are all captivating.

Speaker 1 Like the amount of times like I've been like getting ready to go on a plane, you know, can you power down your phone or whatever? And if I start to watch a Tony Williams, I can't, I can't shut it off.

Speaker 1 He's unreal. He's unreal.
The only other person I've ever been that mesmerized by is John Bonham.

Speaker 1 Just watching him play, going, how the fuck is he getting that sound?

Speaker 1 And his groove was just incredible. But, you know, there are so many guys.
There are so many.

Speaker 1 Now I'm just going to go down some fucking rabbit hole naming everybody that's ever blown me away on the drums. But I'll stop with those two.

Speaker 1 So, anyway, yeah, I've been like big time into that, and

Speaker 1 I'm trying to get that double bass shuffle down that he plays. And I'm the one, you know, and it's a song I haven't listened to in a long time.

Speaker 1 And I've been playing a lot of drums since the last time I played, so it's funny to revisit these songs that just sounded impossible. And now you can kind of be like, okay.

Speaker 1 All right, what's going on here? All right, this is a swing. It's a triplet feel.

Speaker 1 He's doing that. Billy Cobham,

Speaker 1 you know, Simon Phillips. Those are the two guys that I first saw doing that.

Speaker 1 And these fills are all triplet-based and all of that. And then, of course, with YouTube, I can go on there.
I saw, you know, somebody breaking down the song.

Speaker 1 But I didn't want to watch too much of it because I was like, well, I don't want to have all the answers to the test.

Speaker 1 But

Speaker 1 the person was just breaking down how to, you know,

Speaker 1 build up that.

Speaker 1 that double-bass triplet shuffle. So and I'll be honest with you, man, I think it's good for your brain, is what I've been reading as far as like playing drums and that type of stuff.

Speaker 1 Um, as you get, as I've been doing more research, they're talking about how your brain is like a muscle, and you, you know, you stop going to the gym, your body gets flabby, brain is the same way. So,

Speaker 1 I don't know. I've had people in my family have like, you know, cognitive issues and shit like that.
So,

Speaker 1 you know, I might as well fucking try to do something, right? Rather than just being a fucking meathead watching,

Speaker 1 watching all of these sports. Look at Gronk in a suit, man.
Holy shit. I never thought I'd ever see that.

Speaker 1 You know what's so crazy? I'm watching this NFL thing, and I watch everybody who's on the panel, I watch them play. And most of them, I saw their entire careers, except for Terry Bradshaw.

Speaker 1 He was just a little before my time. But I saw

Speaker 1 his last two Super Bowls. I basically been watching the NFL religiously since 1978.
So he came in early 70s. I'm going to say 72.

Speaker 1 I bought that whole year of football cards, by the way. And they're like astronomically expensive.
But I just bought the one in good condition.

Speaker 1 But if you had like, if there's like a mint condition one, last time I saw it was like fucking five, six grand. But then I saw a complete set.
You know, the corners were like fucked up, whatever.

Speaker 1 It's like, well, those are the cards I want so I can like look at them and hold on to them instead of fucking having them behind like plastic. Never understood that.

Speaker 1 It's like people who buy a Ferrari, you know, and then 20 years later they sell it at Meek and they're like, well, the 87 original miles. It's like, well, you didn't fucking use it.

Speaker 1 Or even worse, you drove it around town. Take it to a fucking track.

Speaker 1 Go to one of these fucking schools. They'll teach you how to drive like you're in a fucking action movie.
Drive like Tom Cruise in Paris on a motorcycle.

Speaker 1 That's what the fuck I want to learn how to do.

Speaker 1 You know, why? Because I got demons and I don't want to face them. So I just keep learning how to do new shit so I don't turn around.

Speaker 1 And look at the horror behind me. All right.
That's it. Everybody, go fuck yourselves.
I hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving. I did.
I want to thank everybody who came out to my house,

Speaker 1 our house, I should say. And it was the best Thanksgiving in that everybody who brought food crushed it.
There wasn't one bad thing. Every dessert crushed it.
Every side crushed it.

Speaker 1 The turkey was fucking amazing.

Speaker 1 I was also high as shit. Okay, take that with a grain of salt.
But I ate leftovers the last three days, and it's all tasted amazing. So, thank you to everybody who brought food.

Speaker 1 Just a great time. All right, that's it.
I will check in on you on Thursday. Go fuck yourselves.