S6E6 - 'B;B;B;'

Speaker 1 There's the part of me that everyone sees.

Speaker 2 I'm Howie Mandel the comedian.

Speaker 3 Apparently, I know what funny is.

Speaker 5 Funny bought me a house, but I also know what isn't funny.

Speaker 8 OCD.

Speaker 10 I've lived with OCD my entire life and people throw the term around like it's no big deal.

Speaker 12 But OCD is severe, often debilitating.

Speaker 14 It's a mental health condition that involves unrelented, unwanted thoughts that can make you question your character, your beliefs, even your safety.

Speaker 17 General therapy can help with some things, but for OCD, it can actually make things worse.

Speaker 19 That's why I want to tell you about No CD.

Speaker 11 No CD is the world's largest treatment provider for OCD and is covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans.

Speaker 20 Their licensed therapists specialize in ERP, the most effective treatment for OCD.

Speaker 6 If you think you might be struggling with OCD, go to nocd.com to book a free 15-minute call.

Speaker 13 They are here to help.

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Speaker 22 Suffs, playing the Orpheum Theater, October 22nd through November 9th. Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.

Speaker 23 The following podcast contains adult themes, sexual content, and strong language. Basically, all the good stuff.

Speaker 23 Hello, and welcome to my dad rota porno. I'm Jamie.
I've got Alice and James with me, and we're at Alice's house. Welcome.
Change of scenery. It's very nice.
Thank you for having us.

Speaker 23 It's a business meeting. That's why we're sat around what can only be described as a a conference table.
So don't get too familiar.

Speaker 23 James, something I keep meaning to ask that I've forgotten all season, very rude of me. How's Rocky? How is he?

Speaker 23 Oh, he's great. Yeah, no, he's good.
He's just finished building a conservatory. He's already.
Where's the conservatory? Because that would connect the house to the pavilion, surely.

Speaker 23 It's off the back of the house, like one side of the house. It's got like a big arse now, the house.
Like a one-sided-sided arse. The big hot tub room.
The hot tub room, exactly. Sorry, what?

Speaker 23 He's built it with his own hands. Yeah.
As always, surely. But the hot tub that he chose is so massive, it just eats the whole thing.
It's like a 10-man hot tub.

Speaker 23 Basically, business meetings in the future in the hot tub, guys.

Speaker 23 Can you imagine? Oh, my God. First on the agenda, everybody.
And he's just bubbles. Have you tried this thing? Alice, move your eyes, get over here.
Next on the agenda, jets.

Speaker 23 Next, lights. But he's been very worried, because you know that the theft craze that's sweeping the nation this year is hot tub.
People stealing hot tubs. Yes.

Speaker 23 how you'd have to be very inobservant to not notice somebody going did you did you do through your living room carrying your four what do you say 40 person hot tub how'd you get it out of someone's house or garden uh but don't worry dad's made his conservatory like fort knocks so um

Speaker 23 let alone out built the pool into the building like it's part of the structure of the building was it a conservatory just for the hot tub yes because you know obviously the couple of years we've had, you know, no travel, dad furious that he couldn't get to Brazil because he loves Brazil, as we know.

Speaker 23 So we thought he'd take Brazil to him. To him, uh, and it's nice, it's really cool in there.
It's just very flush, very, very,

Speaker 23 nothing says Brazil like a hot tub in a conservatory. Is that part of the culture? They've made a tropical wing of the house, basically.
Has it got a little bar in it? I could just imagine it.

Speaker 23 It does have a bar, yeah. No, yeah, and some hanging plants.
It's very nice. To give people some context, it's a beautiful but but kind of modest, quite small house.

Speaker 23 Like, it's not, it's not a mansion. Uh, the pavilion gives it the sense of grandeur that that we've described before, but it's a family home.

Speaker 23 And I would say, no, a big chunk of that family home is water. Do you know what? I actually, I remember I called him once and your mum answered because he was in the hot tub.

Speaker 23 She was like, Can you call back? He's just in the hot tub. It was like 11 in the morning.

Speaker 23 What's he doing? He's pickled in there. I cannot wait for the big office day out that we have where we get to go in the hot tub.
It's going to be like a scene from Belinda Blake. Summer party.
Awful.

Speaker 23 So we're on to chapter six, guys.

Speaker 23 We're over halfway through we are what's what's this one called oh it didn't we leave it on a massive cliffhanger yeah clithanger should i say yeah we did yeah with the the thing the thing is the thing yeah what a clit hanger george who was disguised as giles cotton's birth

Speaker 23 um was about to shoot the glee team

Speaker 23 in a kind of russian doll situation situation and uh there was another shot fired oh we didn't know who shot oh my god actually this was really good this ball's really good I'm sorry, I completely forgot, but now I remember.

Speaker 23 The glee team were like in a line protecting each other. Yes.
So, what's the chapter title? Maybe it gives us a clue. The chapter title is B

Speaker 23 B

Speaker 23 B.

Speaker 23 The tattoo! The tattoo could be answered. So, conspiracy theories, galore, of course.
Who the hell shot that other gun? Yeah, it's got a beautiful ring to it. Who the hell shot that other gun?

Speaker 23 The cliffhanger we've all been waiting for. But yeah, BBB.
So, the tattoo might get answered. We might discover the history of Belinda somewhat.
How exciting. Finally, some answers.

Speaker 23 I hope. So, Belinda Blink 6, chapter 6.

Speaker 23 B B B

Speaker 23 It had taken Belinda a while to adjust to the crazy front page generating news

Speaker 23 of George Sylvester's death.

Speaker 23 Front page

Speaker 23 news. The Sun, The Guardian.
Not The Guardian. The Sun, maybe.
Daily Star, definitely. Not The Guardian.
National newspaper, you're both going for it.

Speaker 23 Heathrow Times. Yeah, you're right.

Speaker 23 So, oh, so he's dead. He's dead.
He did. Yeah, so whoever shot that gun killed George.
Oh, God, there's so many. My dad wrote a murder book, this should be called.

Speaker 23 So, yeah, so front page generating news of of George Sylvester's death. Ethel had provided grey tea.

Speaker 23 Grey tea.

Speaker 23 Ethel finally getting a comeback. And the RSM's 24-hour physical support.
But the glee team. Ethel.
No. Ethel had provided grey tea.
Yeah. Very British, you know, in a crisis, just put the case.

Speaker 23 Ethel grey or just grey. Maybe.
Grey in colour. Sort of similar to what I've prepared for you today, actually.
Yeah, I didn't want to say, but I was like, someone died. We're in Murny.

Speaker 23 It's tea in Murney.

Speaker 23 So Ethel's provided grey tea and the RSMs provided 24-hour physical support. I'm assuming sex.
But the Glee team were shaken and stirred. But surely everyone's just generally relieved.

Speaker 23 Like, that's kind of a big... I mean, traumatic, though, obviously, a traumatic incident at the office.
Everyone's going to be. Oh, yeah.
I mean, like different page news, but

Speaker 23 I thought that George pulled the trigger as well. So I'd have thought he shot.

Speaker 23 And then was shot. But doesn't say that any of the glee teams were went injured.
So yeah, maybe he missed. Although they were all stood in a row, so to get nobody, and he was so close.

Speaker 23 Point-like range in a line. I mean, it's just a bit crazy because he is an assassin, isn't he?

Speaker 23 You'd think he'd be good at it. Yeah.

Speaker 23 The marksman was still unknown and supposedly on the run. How was the marksman unknown? He was stood in the corridor where they were stood.
Yeah. Yeah, you'd see them for sure.

Speaker 23 Well, there's three people, as we've discussed, in a row looking directly at the marksman. Also, I mean, he's unknown and supposedly on the run.
So, there goes all those theories out the window.

Speaker 23 Brilliant. Thanks for your input, though, guys.
But also, how do you know he's on the run if he's unknown? He could be sitting right next to you. Supposedly on the run.

Speaker 23 Supposedly.

Speaker 23 The marksman was still unknown and supposedly on the run. He could be in that corridor still.
He could still be there. It could be Atham with a gray tee.

Speaker 23 But Belinda was just glad the bastard suffered a painful demise. Oh, wow.
There you go, see?

Speaker 23 You see, the bullet had hit him clean on the willie. Hit him on the willie? Wait, so give me some geography for this.

Speaker 23 There were no willies. There stood in a row in a single file line.
Yeah. So who was it? So give me the order.

Speaker 23 So it was Giselle against the wall, then Belinda, then Bella, then George's gun, and then George. And then behind George.
No, I think from downside.

Speaker 23 But either way, even if it was down the corridor to the side, you'd have to have like a massive boner or something for it to like clip the willie. So it hit him clean on the willie.

Speaker 23 That in itself would never have caused death. Didn't kill him, no.
But because he was aroused at the trigger squeeze, the blood loss was fatal. Fatal.
Oh my goodness. Fatima.

Speaker 23 He had his dick shot off. Oh, my God.
That's a painful winning. He died

Speaker 23 of a critical boner.

Speaker 23 Shot off, you think? Oh, yeah. It wasn't just clip.
It didn't clip a vein. He's like, full on...

Speaker 23 Hit him clean on the willie, guys. Clean on the willie.

Speaker 23 Clean off the willie, though, it sounds like. You get a bullet in the willie if you ain't got a willie.
Willie no more. Oh my god.
Did Belinda view herself as a murderess?

Speaker 23 Well, her tits didn't care, and she was sure Bella and Giselle's didn't either. Did she regard herself as a murderess? Not a word.
Maybe he means because

Speaker 23 maybe she was responsible for him being aroused and that's what killed him because it wouldn't have been fatal to others. Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart.

Speaker 23 God, I feel like I'm partly to blame for being so goddamn sexy. I guess he died of seeing my beautiful body.

Speaker 23 Her body beautiful. You can come and stay with me and my bro Benny if you're scared, Bella said supportively to the weeping Belinda.
Bro Benny, who we met in a Christmas special, I believe.

Speaker 23 Benny? With a bee? Belinda screamed at her. I'll go nowhere near.
What?

Speaker 23 Benny's the other bee.

Speaker 23 You are joking.

Speaker 23 If Benny's the other bee, I'm leaving. Fuck off.
No, genuinely fuck off if it's Benny.

Speaker 23 Tattoos were on her mind and she could trust not a soul with even the sniff of a bee near their title. So what about Bella? I don't know.
What about Bill from HR? Bill from HR.

Speaker 23 Oh, I've never trusted him. What about Klaus Block? She hasn't seen him in for a while.
What about Betty Wilkes? Well, exactly. Belinda.
She doesn't trust herself.

Speaker 23 So she could trust not a soul with even the sniff of a bee near their title. But at Tony's instruction, she had to escape the newspapers.
Oh my.

Speaker 23 I mean, what, like all the newspapers are like looking for an exclusive interview? Well, you know what Rocky's picturing is that outside the building, outside Steel's,

Speaker 23 you've got them in trilbies going like, Miss, are we going to have a quote?

Speaker 23 Man and Belinda.

Speaker 23 That scene in Notting Hill when Spike goes out. Yes, exactly.

Speaker 23 And there's people doing like live reporting, you know, with like those microphones you hold up close to your mouth. Everybody's like very much.
OB truck.

Speaker 23 Yeah, all of that, but like from ye oldie times as well, wearing off tweed, you know, typewriters. Yeah, a lot of those flip, you know, notepads.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But Tony.
Read all about it.

Speaker 23 Read all about it.

Speaker 23 But at Tony's instruction, she had to escape the newspapers, so she ventured home instead.

Speaker 23 After all, she had urgent questions that needed answering. Why is he doing that tone of voice like that? I don't know.

Speaker 23 Honestly, this can chapter, like, I don't understand. Well, tattoos are on her mind, so I'm assuming that she wants to go.
Tattoos are on her mind.

Speaker 23 Why now? She's had the tattoo her whole life. Because of the fish.
Why has she never questioned what tattoo she's got? She must have a reason for hanging BBB because she got it. Guys, just go with it.

Speaker 23 Just go with it.

Speaker 23 So she had urgent questions that needed answering. Chew chewing through the garden of England.

Speaker 23 She's.

Speaker 23 Head in hand. She lives in London, so why is she chew chewing at at me? Chew chewing, eh? Chew chewing.
Chew chewing, which I assume is a train. Chew chewing through the garden of England.

Speaker 23 Which is Kent. Which is Kent.
Which is a county just below London for those international listeners.

Speaker 23 Chew chewing through the Garden of England, Belinda gazed upon the Polaroid of Bish's 3B tattoo on his scrawny bum. When did she get that Polaroid? In the hot air balloon.

Speaker 23 She took a picture of it, Drummond. No.
On a Polaroid.

Speaker 23 She had a Polaroid camera with her. It's so compatible.
No, she took it on her ring. Do you remember? She took a picture on her ring.
And her ring takes Polaroid. Polaroids.
Yeah. Shut up.

Speaker 23 Where's it printing the Polaroid out from? Printed it out. Do you not remember? No.
What are you talking about?

Speaker 23 I do remember it taking a picture, but I don't remember it coming out of anywhere.

Speaker 23 It said in chapter one, it said, She pointed her beautiful signet ring at it and snapped a photo as the negative printed from the band of gold look metal.

Speaker 23 So it did print out, but that said negative and that's a powder word. But you get a point.

Speaker 23 How massive was it? It's a knuckle duster with bloody inkjet attached to it.

Speaker 23 Kiddell.

Speaker 23 There's a scanner and photograph here as well.

Speaker 23 Also, where is she going? Because it said she was going home, but she's going

Speaker 23 into Kent. Are we going home home? Are we going to the family home? To Bobby Blumenthal.
Because she lives in central London, so why is she going to Kent?

Speaker 23 That would be really exciting if that's true, because we've always kind of wondered about her family situation.

Speaker 23 So just for full context, chew-chewing through the garden of England, Belinda gazed upon the Polaroid of Bish's 3B tattoo on his scrawny bum.

Speaker 23 Alighting the train, she breathed in the uncomplicated air of the provinces.

Speaker 23 So patronising. The provinces! Oh my god, arriving to the family home.
Oh!

Speaker 23 What was your picture of the Blumenthal family home? Beautiful. It's going to be lovely, really idyllic.
Arriving to the family home she was shocked to find no one at home oh

Speaker 23 no matter she thought dad was probably sniffing a vine and mum a line a line

Speaker 23 mum's on coke mum's doing about charlie

Speaker 23 I don't know what sniffing a vine is, but I know what sniffing a line is. Oh my gosh.

Speaker 23 Dad was probably sniffing a vine and mum a line.

Speaker 23 Parents, Belinda knew, were not perfect. Hang on, so her mum's like a drug addict.

Speaker 23 Well, I'd say drug addict or a recreational drug user. And a vine.
Well, he's, isn't he a sommelier, like an old sommelier?

Speaker 23 I remember that. Okay, yeah.
So a vineyard vine. Okay.
And mama line. Actually, there are vineyards in Kent.
Yeah, lovely English sparkling wine. I'll tell you.

Speaker 23 They could actually live on a vineyard. I just can't believe that line means a line of coke, but maybe it does.

Speaker 23 What other lines are you sniffing? Well, Jane's parents, Blenda knew, were not perfect. Okay.

Speaker 23 Do you think she's sort of one of those, you know, those posh mums you see in films, like upper class, addicted to prescription drugs? You know, I love that as an idea. Let's use it.

Speaker 23 I really enjoy it. I'm going to channel that if she turns up, but no one's at home.
But Belinda suddenly had a brain wash.

Speaker 23 Much overdue, my darling. Put it on hot.
Put it on a high spin. 90 degrees.

Speaker 23 Approximately an hour and 37 minutes later, Belinda was swinging her legs as she sat on an old wall behind the bike sheds in the village centre. Where we presume she'd seen the sights before.

Speaker 23 I mean, the bike shed being the traditional location for, you know, adolescent snog fests. Snogs and more.
Oh, right, Alice. I wish.
She must be like a local celebrity, though.

Speaker 23 I thought you were going to say local slots.

Speaker 23 We don't

Speaker 23 So she's on an old wall swinging her legs.

Speaker 1 There's the part of me that everyone sees.

Speaker 2 I'm Howie Mandel, the comedian.

Speaker 3 Apparently, I know what funny is.

Speaker 5 Funny bought me a house, but I also know what isn't funny.

Speaker 8 OCD.

Speaker 9 I've lived with OCD my entire life and people throw the term around like it's no big deal.

Speaker 12 But OCD is severe, often debilitating.

Speaker 14 It's a mental health condition that involves unrelented, unwanted thoughts that can make you question your character, your beliefs, even your safety.

Speaker 17 General therapy can help with some things, but for OCD, it can actually make things worse.

Speaker 19 That's why I want to tell you about No C D.

Speaker 11 No CD is the world's largest treatment provider for OCD and is covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans.

Speaker 20 Their licensed therapists specialize in ERP, the most effective treatment for OCD.

Speaker 6 If you think you might be struggling with OCD, go to nocd.com to book a free 15-minute call.

Speaker 13 They are here to help.

Speaker 23 She'd bought some ciggies and cider from the off-license.

Speaker 23 She's progressed. Is this what you did as a kid, Jamie?

Speaker 23 You definitely drank cider, not even as a kid, as a. I didn't smoke as well when I was younger.
Very bad. Ciggies and cider.
She's never smoked before, I don't think. Well, apart from the flute.

Speaker 23 I don't even think she smoked that. I think it just went up a bum.

Speaker 23 Have you two ever smoked? Have you ever tried a cigarette in your time? I smoked one. Oh, yeah, you too.

Speaker 23 You both. I've smoked one cigarette.

Speaker 23 Really?

Speaker 23 I wish I'd been there to see it. Go on.
Did you finish it? Or was it just a little puff? Can you pull a YT from a cigarette? If you can, I did.

Speaker 23 Was it peer pressure, or were you just like, I'll give that a try? I think I just thought maybe I could get into this, but I couldn't. How old were you? Yeah, how old? 33, you know.

Speaker 23 I was maybe 16 or 17, but actually, I did.

Speaker 23 my best friend when I was around thirteen or fourteen, we were at secondary school, and I got word that she'd fallen in with the cool girls and she'd started smoking.

Speaker 23 Sorry, got word that she'd like she got spies throughout the school.

Speaker 23 And so I remember we walked home together and her house was first and then I carried on walking to my house and I gave her um quite a stern lecture on her driveway about the risks of smoking.

Speaker 23 I I've also just got the image of Alice with like a cigarette just hanging around

Speaker 23 like did do you know the end of Greece where Sandy tries to like pull on a lengthy and smoke cigarette

Speaker 23 to like cake with the cold dick?

Speaker 23 So, Alice, tell me about it, Studd. Dr.
Studd, to you.

Speaker 23 Yeah, not inhaling, just like.

Speaker 23 God, what's the point? I mean, I do remember that. I do remember thinking, it doesn't taste very nice, does it?

Speaker 23 So she'd bought some ciggies and cider from the off-license and had happily squeezed into her old school uniform.

Speaker 23 Oh my god, get it off. Ty a rye, tits asunder and clitter wash.
Tyrai. Ty a rye.
She had the tie on and it was awry. Tyrai.
Ty a man. Ty aye.
Tyra. Tyrai.
Tyrai. Tyra eye.
Tyrai.

Speaker 23 Was that our best friend from school? Hey, Tyrai. Tits Asunder and Clitter Wash.
It does sound like her group of friends. Yeah.
All of them. Clitter wash.
Tit ash. Tyra I.

Speaker 23 Tyrite. What a gang.

Speaker 23 If she now has sex with somebody that she went to school with,

Speaker 23 I'm gonna be

Speaker 23 oh god,

Speaker 23 why? Okay, sorry. Why would she wear her school uniform? Why would she bump into somebody that she'd once had a dalliance with in the bike share? It was exactly what's about to happen.

Speaker 23 Why are they all still in the same place? Honestly, they're not waiting to recreate that moment.

Speaker 23 So, from her old haunt, she watched life live. Eventually, a youngish, skinny man

Speaker 23 with a nose ring and woollen hat that looked a little bit like an egg warmer skulked past. It's going to be like Luke Shagalot or something.
This movie is so dumb.

Speaker 23 Daniel Dixby. It will be.

Speaker 23 He stopped in his lethargic tracks as he double-tracked the past.

Speaker 23 Sorry?

Speaker 23 He did what with who now? He stopped in his lethargic tracks as he double-tracked the past. Oh, so he saw Belinda.
I would track back and delete that sentence, is what I would do.

Speaker 23 Belinda,

Speaker 23 am I dreaming or just doped? He said dopely. Is everyone on drugs in this? Everyone's hi.

Speaker 23 Could you be both, dearest Clint? Dearest Clint! Clint! Could you be both, dearest Clint? Belinda flirted casually.

Speaker 23 You usually are. Usually they've not seen each other for 20 years.

Speaker 23 Wow.

Speaker 23 I thought you were a mover and a shaker in the big smoke. I hate that's Manchester.
Sorry.

Speaker 23 I hate it.

Speaker 23 Yeah. Wow.

Speaker 23 I thought you were a mover and a shaker in the big smoke. Mick Jagger.

Speaker 23 Oh, Belinda, do you want to come to my show tonight?

Speaker 23 I'm trying to be a bit. David Bowie.
Should have been a bit dope, do you see? Oh, right, yes. I'm lethargic and

Speaker 23 lethargic and doped, yep. Wow, I thought you were a mover and a shaker in the big smoke.
You actually make jagger.

Speaker 23 I am.

Speaker 23 Belinda laughed as she pointed at her rapidly burning cigarette. Why? Clint laughed too.
That is funny.

Speaker 23 Good one, everyone. You can see why those two get on.
I don't get it. What? I don't.
What, she pointed at a cigarette? Like... Oh,

Speaker 23 that makes... Wow, I thought you were a mover and a shaker in the big smoke.

Speaker 23 I am, as she pointed at us. Fucking hell.
Top notch penter. Top nudge benter.

Speaker 23 Belinda laughed as she pointed at her rapidly burning cigarette. Clint laughed too.
Then Belinda laughed again, thinking, gosh, it was always so natural with this dude.

Speaker 23 They're as thick as each other, so I can see why they got on.

Speaker 23 gosh it was always so natural with this dude

Speaker 23 it's so fucking boring

Speaker 23 oh it's just great to have a good old conversation isn't it

Speaker 23 shoot the breeze

Speaker 23 it must be over 10 years since I last told you is he drunk now what's happening the drugs are starting to kick in

Speaker 23 it must have been over 10 years since I told you you look like a foxy mama.

Speaker 23 Foxy Mama!

Speaker 23 Wow. Oh my god, shoot my Willie off now.
I just want to ask you

Speaker 23 Aaron Sorkin taking over the writing of this book because Jesus, this is

Speaker 23 dialogue. I mean, that's such an amazing compliment that you would remember it to the day when you gave it.
Foxy Mama. Oh, what is it? Foxy Mama? Foxy Mama! Because he's from the 70s.

Speaker 23 What's that song where? Oh, yeah. Do you know S-Club Party? There's a line in that.
Hoochi Mamma, Show Ya Nanna.

Speaker 23 I am getting my phone.

Speaker 23 Is it Show Ya Nana? I think it's Show Ya Nana. Or Show Ya Nanna.
I think it's Hoochi Mamma Show Ya Nana. But like, as in Show Your Grandma or Show Ya Nanna.
I don't think it's Show Your Grandma.

Speaker 23 So you think it's Show Ya Nanna? Show your grandma at an S Club Party? What kind of parties are you going to? Actually, you would take your grandma. You are the grandma.

Speaker 23 Okay, so it must be over 10 years. It feels like 10 years I've been chatting for.
Jesus Christ.

Speaker 23 Just fucking shag in the bike shed so we can all move on and meet Bobby Bloom in the thorn. And the Oscar for best screenplay goes too.

Speaker 23 It must be 10 years since I've got you a foxy mama.

Speaker 23 It must be over 10 years since I told you that you look like a foxy mama, Belinda. Those threads are snazzy.
But I think you're- Where's he from? When's he from? Those threads.

Speaker 23 Those threads are snazzy, but I think they'd look even more fab on my floor.

Speaker 23 What a lie. Oh, Clint, my darling.
The laid-back man drawled.

Speaker 23 Jumping from the bricks, Belinda twirled in the youthful revels of Clint's hands.

Speaker 23 Creaking his cool work pod in a revamped C container open.

Speaker 23 Sorry?

Speaker 23 Creaking his his cool. Creaking his what in the what?

Speaker 23 Creaking his cool work pod in a revamped C container open. What does that mean? I have no idea.
That's so weird. Oh, well, nowadays they make like buildings in C containers, right?

Speaker 23 Like offices and things. Oh, like the crates, like the kind of, what are they called? Like there's one in.
Like box park. I mean, he sounds like he works in some sort of tech.

Speaker 23 I'm really surprised he's got a job. Yeah.
Creaking his cool work pod in a revamped C container open, Belinda stripped to her default position. I remember those boobies far out.

Speaker 23 Far out.

Speaker 23 Also, I remember those boobies. It's like he's writing somebody in the seventies.
When dad was a boy. Very confusing.
Very confusing.

Speaker 23 I remember those boobies. Far out, Clint said as he removed his hoodie and drawstring trousers.

Speaker 23 He's fully from like Woodstock, isn't he? Back like in the 60s. Yeah, you're so right.
Yeah. Belinda was was taken aback.
She remembered his skin.

Speaker 23 But now...

Speaker 23 Covered in tattoos. B, beep beep, beep beep beep.

Speaker 23 Alice. It's Clint with a silent bee.

Speaker 23 But now there was not much of it to see. Every capillary was drawn over with drawings.

Speaker 23 Belinda was particularly struck by his talented colouring in.

Speaker 23 Gently, like walking an old lady across a busy road, Belinda took his manhood in her hand. Foxy Mama's helping Nana.

Speaker 23 Oh, Foxy Mama. Teasing her gripped fingers up and down the floppy slice of skin,

Speaker 23 it got thicker and tenderer. To Belinda, Clint's knob.

Speaker 23 Knob.

Speaker 23 To Belinda, Clint's knob was a magic.

Speaker 23 You don't really use knob in a sexy

Speaker 23 look at your knob. Knob, yeah.
It's quite difficult to get your knob out. Makes sense, you're to Belinda, Clint's knob was a magical Aladdin's lamp of passion.

Speaker 23 The more she rubbed it, the more her wishes came true. Oh, lovely.
In a seamless exchange worthy of the Jamaican relay team, Belinda switched hand to mouth.

Speaker 23 Cool. So she's gone from hand to mouth.
She says, sucking him off, basically. Okay, thank you.

Speaker 23 After a good old go.

Speaker 23 After a good old go, Clint's voice sounded from upon high. Belinda, quit licking it.
I'm not a wibbly wobbly wonder.

Speaker 23 I feel sick.

Speaker 23 Stop licking it. I'm not a wibbly, wobbly wonder.
What's that?

Speaker 23 I've no idea. A wibbly, wobbly wonder.
Is that a type of ice cream?

Speaker 23 James. You want me to Google wibbly wobbly wonder? I don't know if I want that in my history.

Speaker 23 Oh, Wibbly Wobbly Wonder was an ice cream on a stick which was marketed in Ireland in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s. Well, I mean, that's prime time for Rocky.
Yeah. 70s.

Speaker 23 That could have been a little treat that you used to have. Oh my god, it looks...
I mean, I don't know if they still exist. It doesn't look the most appetizing.
It's got like brat.

Speaker 23 Is that brown on top? Well, chocolate, presumably. Presumably.
And then,

Speaker 23 what, lemon and strawberry underneath?

Speaker 23 Wow. Lemon and strawberry.
It's going to be lemon, is it? It's going to be orange. Sorry, strawberry and banana flavour, ice.
Oh, I do beg your pardon. Jelly and chocolate.
3p.

Speaker 23 3p! 3p, what a bargain. Wibbly-wobbly wonder.
Wow. Do you think they all called their dicks wibbly wobbly wonders? It'd be an opportunity you missed if you didn't.

Speaker 23 James, you have to post a picture of that. That looks rancid.

Speaker 23 Appropriately primed, Clint slipped into his old playmate's pussy and rogered the common sense out of her. There wasn't any together on that, I think.

Speaker 23 Belinda whooped from the leather recliner to countertop cashier. Oh, she they did it on the recliner and then they did it on the counter.

Speaker 23 It is factually correct.

Speaker 23 This will be good. Lawyer talks to detail.

Speaker 23 Oh, God, what is this going to be? Come on, Dad.

Speaker 23 I already hard disagree.

Speaker 23 It is factually correct

Speaker 23 to say that lust is as powerful a drug as heroin.

Speaker 23 And Belinda was an addict scoring on the badass streets of desire. Wow, that is lovely, that, isn't it? Not true, but

Speaker 23 it is not much of a correct.

Speaker 23 Oh my God, that is one of the funniest things he's ever said.

Speaker 23 It is factually correct.

Speaker 17 I doubt it.

Speaker 23 Reversing, Clint's long lollipop popped out of Belinda's fuchsia vag as she sprang back to business.

Speaker 23 Right, so business, okay.

Speaker 23 Clint, do you remember my 18th birthday fancy dress party? She idly mused. Oh my god, can you imagine? Used to love a fancy dress party.
We were quite good at fancy dress parties. We were.

Speaker 23 Yeah, we were back in the day. What have we dressed in the past? We've done like...
You wore that like cat suit. Oh yeah, you went as Twister once.
Do you remember that? I did.

Speaker 23 I dressed as the game Twister. This is Doubtfire.
It was a a doubt. Doubtfire, yes, I did do that.

Speaker 23 You've been Problem Child. Problem Child, yeah.

Speaker 23 For his whole goddamn life, not just dressed up with that party. I remember you were Truman Capote once.
Yes, yeah, when that movie came out at uni, I did that. Well, at Leeds, we had the Otley Run.

Speaker 23 Yep. Do you ever do the Ottley Run where you'd, you'd, it was 18 pubs all on the same road called The Otley Road.
Alice had heard tell of it, but she never

Speaker 23 took personally. I just did it over the three years.

Speaker 23 Yeah.

Speaker 23 That was fun. I used to love the Ottley Run.
And you'd dress up and you'd have a pint in each pub or whatever. And you could do pub golfly.
You never did a pint in each pub. Oh, yeah.
Alice.

Speaker 23 You didn't do 18 pints. Baby cats.

Speaker 23 I once did pub golf otley run, hole in one in every pub. What's that mean again? You have to down a drink in every pub and a different drink in each pub.
So a pint in one, I mean, that's

Speaker 23 wine. Yeah, but we were fry.
Kids. I mean, you know.
We weren't kids, we were of legal drinking. Yeah, but like, you know, you need kids.
Yeah, well, so was I. Yes, but you were you.

Speaker 23 Uchi mama, show your nana, yeah.

Speaker 23 Uchi mama, stay at home.

Speaker 1 There's the part of me that everyone sees.

Speaker 2 I'm Howie Mandel, the comedian.

Speaker 3 Apparently, I know what funny is.

Speaker 5 Funny bought me a house, but I also know what isn't funny.

Speaker 8 OCD.

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Speaker 12 But OCD is severe, often debilitating.

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Speaker 13 They are here to help.

Speaker 23 So, do you remember my 18th birthday fancy dress party? Hell yeah.

Speaker 23 And do you remember your gift? Yeah.

Speaker 23 It's just the chemistry is undeniable. It's a little palpable, isn't it? Belinda traced her finger over one of Clint's pretty skin pictures.

Speaker 23 Why did you choose the three B's, Clint?

Speaker 23 Clint looked terror inside himself.

Speaker 23 What? But he knew this day would come.

Speaker 23 He knew he had to tell her the truth.

Speaker 23 Well

Speaker 23 because

Speaker 23 I was paid to, Belinda.

Speaker 23 By By who?

Speaker 23 She demanded, putting a hoiked-up skirt back on.

Speaker 23 By

Speaker 23 by

Speaker 23 your mother.

Speaker 23 I'm sorry, what? By the drug-addled Mrs. Blumenthal!

Speaker 23 She was off a trip. Why did you listen to her? Can you tattoo my daughter? Mrs.
Blumenthal, I don't feel completely comfortable with this. I'll give you 20 quid.
All right.

Speaker 23 By

Speaker 23 your mother, Mrs. Blumenthal.
No, we know, yeah.

Speaker 23 I have to read every line and every word. Stupid man.

Speaker 23 In a tantrum fit for a toddler, Belinda stormed to the door. Before you go, are you forgetting something?

Speaker 23 Clint said, needle in hand. Every time Clint had Nookie, he asked

Speaker 23 his partner to ink him a new tat. God, that's time-consuming.

Speaker 23 Every time he he has a new partner, every time he has Nookie. Oh, I don't know.
Can you imagine if you had a cookie in the morning? It's like, Clint, babe, I've got to get to work.

Speaker 23 And he's like, you got to do it, though.

Speaker 23 He must just be red raw constantly. Yeah.

Speaker 23 Reading his body was like a brief history of Belinda's adolescence. Oh, wow.
So it must be after every time. She

Speaker 23 stops.

Speaker 23 And it made her emotional as she jabbed the peace sign onto his scrotum.

Speaker 23 Scrotum! The peace sign! That's going to be wiggly, isn't it? It's not going to be very neat. Oh, that's made my eyes water just for the thought of it.

Speaker 23 Oh my god.

Speaker 23 Peace sign on the scrotum is all that's left.

Speaker 23 Maybe.

Speaker 23 She did say that there wasn't much skin left when he got naked, remember? Oh, yes, there was. I mean, you'd rather have behind the ear than scrotum.
For someone who's not trained in tattoos as well.

Speaker 23 Can you imagine how bad it's going to look? Oh my God.

Speaker 23 Yes, Clint was her first, but he wasn't her second and wouldn't be her last. Well, obviously.
But she lost her virginity to him. That's interesting.
That's a character point. Clint was her first.

Speaker 23 Oh, okay.

Speaker 23 James Faney interest. I write no book.

Speaker 23 Who gets to decide what's drawn as well? The drawer or him? Well, she chose the peace signs. It's a free-for-all, yeah.
Why would he say so?

Speaker 23 Literally, no reason. That's why you doodle in a book when you're not listening in class.
Arriving home, Belinda used her house keys to enter the family building.

Speaker 23 So, oh, so she just did the tattoo and was on a merry way. In the soft lighting, her mother, feather in headband,

Speaker 23 and body-clinging bisque bulging. Bisque.
Sorry?

Speaker 23 Bisque. Basque.
Bisque? He's put bisque. What does he mean basque? Well, bisque is a fish soup.

Speaker 23 Messi eater, clearly.

Speaker 23 How many lines does she have

Speaker 23 oh yeah sorry like yeah i think yeah basket bulging leaned on the very square rooted kitchen island as she slumped into her cherry sherry sling back

Speaker 23 what are you talking about

Speaker 23 capitalized so

Speaker 23 it's an absolute mess as she slumped into her cherry sherry sling back belinda rolled her very emotive eyes Before anything else happened, Mrs. Blumenthal sung to Belinda

Speaker 23 an intoxicated torch song. A what song? A torch song.
What is a torch song? It's like a kind of ballad, isn't it? Like a love, like a heartbreak love ballad. Okay.

Speaker 23 Alright, well, should we sit back and enjoy this little

Speaker 23 show? Do you recognise the song, or is this? No, James.

Speaker 23 So she sung Belinda an intoxicated torch song. Oh my god, he's going to sing.

Speaker 23 Where

Speaker 23 have you

Speaker 23 been?

Speaker 23 My love,

Speaker 23 you I have not seen my love.

Speaker 23 It's true your body's looking lean. How's he doing this off the top of his head? This voice is melody.

Speaker 23 But first and last, an only daughter.

Speaker 23 And that took a turn.

Speaker 23 Why do you look so mean?

Speaker 23 Is she writing this on the spot?

Speaker 23 Jamie's writing on the spot. Literally.

Speaker 23 Old Mother Blumenthal

Speaker 23 had been an okay burlesque performer all Belinda's existence and before. Her mother's a burlesque performer.
Her modest success was compensated by her husband's curated but her-operated wine cellar.

Speaker 23 Her modest success was really bloody lucky because that was dreadful. Oh.

Speaker 23 What was those lyrics? Sorry. Where have you been? Where have you been? Why are you seen? My love, you have not.

Speaker 23 My love, you I have not seen my love. It's true, your body's looking lean.
But first and last, and only daughter, why'd you look so mean? So she's improvised that as she walked in.

Speaker 23 That's pretty impressive, it's just off her face,

Speaker 23 absolutely off her tips.

Speaker 23 I'm just got all dressed up. How did she know she was coming? But Linda's making more sense, though, isn't she? Immediately, I'm like, Okay, this is her mother.

Speaker 23 Is she always dressed as a burlesque dancer? It's the middle of the afternoon in the garden of England.

Speaker 23 Oh, yeah, man.

Speaker 23 Looking lean.

Speaker 23 Why is I mean?

Speaker 23 My first and last and only daughter.

Speaker 23 The only daughter's already been.

Speaker 23 So her modest success was compensated by her husband's curated but her operated wine cellar. Whenever she got a bum review, they sold another bottle of 1830s champagne, and that's a marriage.

Speaker 23 Okay.

Speaker 23 A few things. An important note.
I don't think you're supposed to keep champagne. Really? I don't think it gets better with age.
From the 1830s. I don't think that's a good idea.
I really don't.

Speaker 23 You're going to open that. That's going to be an absolute shit shit.
Well, they're just selling it. They're like, well,

Speaker 23 psych.

Speaker 23 The other thing is, every time she does a bad show. She has a bad review.

Speaker 23 Why would that have cost them money?

Speaker 23 So that's what her parents do. Yeah, and that's a marriage.
What a strange business setup. So she does subpar burlesque, which is subsidised by selling vintage wines.
Yeah. But

Speaker 23 why doesn't she just do a job which doesn't mean they have to sell off their seller? She's costing them money. She really is.
I guess it's her passion.

Speaker 23 Belinda was looking bored as her mother caressed her last show-off note. Have you ever seen that SNL sketch where Kristen Wiggs like, don't make me sing?

Speaker 23 I've got that image for old Mother Blumenthal.

Speaker 23 So she was looking bored as her mother caressed her last show-off note.

Speaker 23 Why do you look so mean?

Speaker 23 Hi, mum.

Speaker 23 Let's chat.

Speaker 23 Okay,

Speaker 23 Mum said as she unhooked her outfit, enticingly showing her body as nature had intended. Enticingly, it's a daughter.
Yeah, weird. Well, if you're in a Bisque, I mean.

Speaker 23 Sorry, you know I get blue when your father's away, sprinkling chalk dust

Speaker 23 around his worldwide vineyards. I'm enjoying the sort of ab fab vibe.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's totally fine.
Is that right, isn't it? Yeah.

Speaker 23 Would you you like a glass of the family vintage? As she caressed her luscious tits. Don't open that, that's keeping the family afloat.
Don't drink the fucking produce.

Speaker 23 Go on, then. Belinda couldn't resist.
Why not make it a double helping? Do another one for dad, wherever he's laying his pruning shears and grape squish wellies.

Speaker 23 Oh, so he is making it because he's squishing the grapes. What on earth?

Speaker 23 As the two almost the same looking, but one older and one younger woman.

Speaker 23 That's families.

Speaker 23 Drank and nibbled bubble and squeak. Isn't that like...
What is bubble and squeak? I don't know. Isn't that like mashed potatoes? And greens, yeah.

Speaker 23 Cabbage, is it?

Speaker 23 Champagne and bubble and squeak. This is life.

Speaker 23 As the two almost the same looking, but one older and one younger woman drank and nibbled bubble and squeak, Belinda dared to ask the question that had toyed with her lips ever since Australia. Mum

Speaker 23 You know the tattoo you got me for my 18th birthday? Well, it wasn't since Australia, was it? It was about since about 10 minutes ago when she got told by Clyn.

Speaker 23 Now, are we assuming that the mum knew that she knew, or is she about to be shocked that she knows that? Well,

Speaker 23 Mum, you know the tattoo you got me for my 18th birthday? Hmm?

Speaker 23 Belinda's female parent noised.

Speaker 23 It's very odd. He's really at his wits end, isn't he? Now, really quite pissed.
Hmm.

Speaker 23 The gorgeous insignia of the three bees? Belinda prodded.

Speaker 23 Oh yes, that.

Speaker 23 The three B tree. The what? The three B tree.
The three B tree. Mama B wistfully remembered.
But what do they mean?

Speaker 23 What do you mean? What do they mean?

Speaker 23 The three B's! They must mean something.

Speaker 23 Not a spot, Belinda. The B is the most sexy of letters, especially when it's in its capitalised form.
And you should think yourself lucky to be adorned with not only one, but three of them in a tree.

Speaker 23 Look at James's face.

Speaker 23 Absolutely. I'm gonna leave.
He's a gog. Do you know what, actually?

Speaker 23 Yeah, this has been great. Thank you so much.
If the answer is three B's because they look fucking pretty, I'm leaving.

Speaker 23 Bye.

Speaker 23 No, I'm coming back really. I wasn't really following because I was just reading it.
It's quite hard to follow, just to read. So what? It's just three B's in a tree.

Speaker 23 Yeah, she's basically saying there's no meaning. Okay.
I can see why you're livid.

Speaker 23 So, so

Speaker 23 she should be lucky to be adorned with not only only one, but three of them in a tree. I mean, it's just bullshit, isn't it? Three beats of bullshit, because

Speaker 23 what does that even mean? They look so pretty, they look great in capital form. That's why you tattooed your daughter with it.
Fuck off, Genevieve, or whatever she's called.

Speaker 23 Old Mother Blumenthal.

Speaker 23 I always thought they were a reference to you, me, and dad, Belinda said sweetly. Oh, yes, yes, that sounds better.
Yes, then, it is, stuttered the stunned matriarch with a crooked smile.

Speaker 23 Are you joking me?

Speaker 23 What's going on, mum?

Speaker 23 But Belinda's dear old mummy said nothing more.

Speaker 23 I encountered a strange old man on a work trip, Belinda persevered.

Speaker 23 He had the same tattoo bee tree as I. Why is it he oldie English all of a sudden?

Speaker 23 Huh? Mum gasped. Mum.

Speaker 23 No, wolfie bee,

Speaker 23 she screamed. Wolfie bee.
It's like Cardi B. Wolfie.

Speaker 23 Wolfie B?

Speaker 23 Belinda spat. Oh, come on.
He's the murderous and tyrannical monster of cookware.

Speaker 23 But yes, exactly him. Why would he have my tattoo?

Speaker 23 Old Mother Blumenthal looked squarely at Belinda through the empty bottle. They're in the fire!

Speaker 23 I'm imagining it like a telescope.

Speaker 23 Because Belinda, and I hate to tell you this because he is evil,

Speaker 23 and I swear on all of the Norse gods, I've tried to protect you from him at all costs. No, not you don't think her actual

Speaker 23 do you think?

Speaker 23 But yes,

Speaker 23 he is one of us, Time.

Speaker 23 Yes,

Speaker 23 family.

Speaker 23 Belinda finished. Belinda blinked.
What are you talking about? What do you mean, one of us? That's the end of the chapter. What?

Speaker 23 So what? Is Wolfgang Belinda's dad? Wolfie B, please. Sorry, Wolfie B.
Granddad, surely. I mean, he couldn't sire a child 30 years ago, couldn't he? It was rotten.
Oh my god.

Speaker 23 Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. So if they are family.
Like, if he is the dad or the granddad or whatever, what does that matter? And also, we kind of knew that or assumed it from the end of book.

Speaker 23 Well, I didn't. No, because didn't Bish say yes, family? Yeah, but I didn't know that meant that he's her disgusting

Speaker 23 point. Okay.
These are so repulsive. I just thought he was being gross and slobbery.
Does that make any sense whatsoever? So presumably,

Speaker 23 old mother, woman husband, women.

Speaker 23 Wolfie B. Yeah.

Speaker 23 30 years ago. And then when Belinda was 18, it was like, just so she knows, one day,

Speaker 23 give her a tattoo. Which I hope she won't ask me about until she's 30.
But maybe you're right, maybe grandfather. I mean, who knows? This is actually quite well delivered.

Speaker 23 I mean, apart from that whole stupid bit with Clinwich, we could have just missed out. But I do quite like going back to her mum and dad's place, though.
I like the picture that he's painted there.

Speaker 23 And as I said before, she makes more sense now, I think. Yes, she is.
She is of her sort of. You know, when you meet your friend's parents and they suddenly come into

Speaker 23 context, yeah, for sure. I mean, she's particularly mad.
The mum or Belinda? Oh, the mum. We haven't really had a snapshot of the dad yet.
Yeah. He's not the dad.
We don't know that. He's not the dad.

Speaker 23 We don't know. We need a Jeremy Kyle-style paternity test.

Speaker 23 I mean, many questions.

Speaker 23 Many, many, many questions. Some answers.
We still don't know who shot. George Sylvester.
We may never. I mean, in a way, thank goodness George is there because, like,

Speaker 23 I can't do the the voice for that.

Speaker 23 I can't cope with that anymore. Well, he transferred that to Clyn.
Yeah,

Speaker 23 and our stats for Manchester have just plummeted, so hopefully, that'll come back. Speaking of Manchester, don't forget we're going on tour next year, Manchester being one of the dates.

Speaker 23 Hitting the road. Two of the dates.
Two of the dates. We're doing two now.
Maybe three of the dates. Who knows?

Speaker 23 Oh, nope, they've all just been cancelled.

Speaker 23 Thanks, Jamie. Thanks for nothing.
But if you want to come see us, all the dates are in 2022, and you can find out the details at mydadrotaporno.com.

Speaker 23 Yeah, please do follow us on social media as well and get in touch at dadrotaporno on Twitter, at my dadrote on Instagram. Yeah, there's a lot to discuss.

Speaker 23 If you've liked the song today, if you've liked this little lesson in how to produce English wines, then

Speaker 23 those are his squishy boots. Then like and write us a little review if you can, wherever you get your podcasts.
Well, guys, it is factually correct to say that this is the end of the episode.

Speaker 23 That actually is.

Speaker 23 Finally.

Speaker 22 Suffs, the new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway. We demand to be heard.
Winner, best score. We demand to be seen.
Winner, best book. We demand to be quality.

Speaker 22 It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Speaker 22 Suffs, playing the Orpheum Theater October 22nd through November 9th. Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.