S6E6 - 'B;B;B;'

There's the part of me that everyone sees.

I'm Howie Mandel the comedian.

Apparently, I know what funny is.

Funny bought me a house, but I also know what isn't funny.

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I've lived with OCD my entire life and people throw the term around like it's no big deal.

But OCD is severe, often debilitating.

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That's why I want to tell you about No CD.

No CD is the world's largest treatment provider for OCD and is covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans.

Their licensed therapists specialize in ERP, the most effective treatment for OCD.

If you think you might be struggling with OCD, go to nocd.com to book a free 15-minute call.

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Sucks.

The new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway.

We demand to be home.

Winner, best score.

We demand to be seen.

Winner, best book.

We demand to be quality.

It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Suffs, playing the Orpheum Theater, October 22nd through November 9th.

Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.

The following podcast contains adult themes, sexual content, and strong language.

Basically, all the good stuff.

Hello, and welcome to my dad rota porno.

I'm Jamie.

I've got Alice and James with me, and we're at Alice's house.

Welcome.

Change of scenery.

It's very nice.

Thank you for having us.

It's a business meeting.

That's why we're sat around what can only be described as a a conference table.

So don't get too familiar.

James, something I keep meaning to ask that I've forgotten all season, very rude of me.

How's Rocky?

How is he?

Oh, he's great.

Yeah, no, he's good.

He's just finished building a conservatory.

He's already.

Where's the conservatory?

Because that would connect the house to the pavilion, surely.

It's off the back of the house, like one side of the house.

It's got like a big arse now, the house.

Like a one-sided-sided arse.

The big hot tub room.

The hot tub room, exactly.

Sorry, what?

He's built it with his own hands.

Yeah.

As always, surely.

But the hot tub that he chose is so massive, it just eats the whole thing.

It's like a 10-man hot tub.

Basically, business meetings in the future in the hot tub, guys.

Can you imagine?

Oh, my God.

First on the agenda, everybody.

And he's just bubbles.

Have you tried this thing?

Alice, move your eyes, get over here.

Next on the agenda, jets.

Next, lights.

But he's been very worried, because you know that the theft craze that's sweeping the nation this year is hot tub.

People stealing hot tubs.

Yes.

how you'd have to be very inobservant to not notice somebody going did you did you do through your living room carrying your four what do you say 40 person hot tub how'd you get it out of someone's house or garden uh but don't worry dad's made his conservatory like fort knocks so um

let alone out built the pool into the building like it's part of the structure of the building was it a conservatory just for the hot tub yes because you know obviously the couple of years we've had, you know, no travel, dad furious that he couldn't get to Brazil because he loves Brazil, as we know.

So we thought he'd take Brazil to him.

To him, uh, and it's nice, it's really cool in there.

It's just very flush, very, very,

nothing says Brazil like a hot tub in a conservatory.

Is that part of the culture?

They've made a tropical wing of the house, basically.

Has it got a little bar in it?

I could just imagine it.

It does have a bar, yeah.

No, yeah, and some hanging plants.

It's very nice.

To give people some context, it's a beautiful but but kind of modest, quite small house.

Like, it's not, it's not a mansion.

Uh, the pavilion gives it the sense of grandeur that that we've described before, but it's a family home.

And I would say, no, a big chunk of that family home is water.

Do you know what?

I actually, I remember I called him once and your mum answered because he was in the hot tub.

She was like, Can you call back?

He's just in the hot tub.

It was like 11 in the morning.

What's he doing?

He's pickled in there.

I cannot wait for the big office day out that we have where we get to go in the hot tub.

It's going to be like a scene from Belinda Blake.

Summer party.

Awful.

So we're on to chapter six, guys.

We're over halfway through we are what's what's this one called oh it didn't we leave it on a massive cliffhanger yeah clithanger should i say yeah we did yeah with the the thing the thing is the thing yeah what a clit hanger george who was disguised as giles cotton's birth

um was about to shoot the glee team

in a kind of russian doll situation situation and uh there was another shot fired oh we didn't know who shot oh my god actually this was really good this ball's really good I'm sorry, I completely forgot, but now I remember.

The glee team were like in a line protecting each other.

Yes.

So, what's the chapter title?

Maybe it gives us a clue.

The chapter title is B

B

B.

The tattoo!

The tattoo could be answered.

So, conspiracy theories, galore, of course.

Who the hell shot that other gun?

Yeah, it's got a beautiful ring to it.

Who the hell shot that other gun?

The cliffhanger we've all been waiting for.

But yeah, BBB.

So, the tattoo might get answered.

We might discover the history of Belinda somewhat.

How exciting.

Finally, some answers.

I hope.

So, Belinda Blink 6, chapter 6.

B B B

It had taken Belinda a while to adjust to the crazy front page generating news

of George Sylvester's death.

Front page

news.

The Sun, The Guardian.

Not The Guardian.

The Sun, maybe.

Daily Star, definitely.

Not The Guardian.

National newspaper, you're both going for it.

Heathrow Times.

Yeah, you're right.

So, oh, so he's dead.

He's dead.

He did.

Yeah, so whoever shot that gun killed George.

Oh, God, there's so many.

My dad wrote a murder book, this should be called.

So, yeah, so front page generating news of of George Sylvester's death.

Ethel had provided grey tea.

Grey tea.

Ethel finally getting a comeback.

And the RSM's 24-hour physical support.

But the glee team.

Ethel.

No.

Ethel had provided grey tea.

Yeah.

Very British, you know, in a crisis, just put the case.

Ethel grey or just grey.

Maybe.

Grey in colour.

Sort of similar to what I've prepared for you today, actually.

Yeah, I didn't want to say, but I was like, someone died.

We're in Murny.

It's tea in Murney.

So Ethel's provided grey tea and the RSMs provided 24-hour physical support.

I'm assuming sex.

But the Glee team were shaken and stirred.

But surely everyone's just generally relieved.

Like, that's kind of a big...

I mean, traumatic, though, obviously, a traumatic incident at the office.

Everyone's going to be.

Oh, yeah.

I mean, like different page news, but

I thought that George pulled the trigger as well.

So I'd have thought he shot.

And then was shot.

But doesn't say that any of the glee teams were went injured.

So yeah, maybe he missed.

Although they were all stood in a row, so to get nobody, and he was so close.

Point-like range in a line.

I mean, it's just a bit crazy because he is an assassin, isn't he?

You'd think he'd be good at it.

Yeah.

The marksman was still unknown and supposedly on the run.

How was the marksman unknown?

He was stood in the corridor where they were stood.

Yeah.

Yeah, you'd see them for sure.

Well, there's three people, as we've discussed, in a row looking directly at the marksman.

Also, I mean, he's unknown and supposedly on the run.

So, there goes all those theories out the window.

Brilliant.

Thanks for your input, though, guys.

But also, how do you know he's on the run if he's unknown?

He could be sitting right next to you.

Supposedly on the run.

Supposedly.

The marksman was still unknown and supposedly on the run.

He could be in that corridor still.

He could still be there.

It could be Atham with a gray tee.

But Belinda was just glad the bastard suffered a painful demise.

Oh, wow.

There you go, see?

You see, the bullet had hit him clean on the willie.

Hit him on the willie?

Wait, so give me some geography for this.

There were no willies.

There stood in a row in a single file line.

Yeah.

So who was it?

So give me the order.

So it was Giselle against the wall, then Belinda, then Bella, then George's gun, and then George.

And then behind George.

No, I think from downside.

But either way, even if it was down the corridor to the side, you'd have to have like a massive boner or something for it to like clip the willie.

So it hit him clean on the willie.

That in itself would never have caused death.

Didn't kill him, no.

But because he was aroused at the trigger squeeze, the blood loss was fatal.

Fatal.

Oh my goodness.

Fatima.

He had his dick shot off.

Oh, my God.

That's a painful winning.

He died

of a critical boner.

Shot off, you think?

Oh, yeah.

It wasn't just clip.

It didn't clip a vein.

He's like, full on...

Hit him clean on the willie, guys.

Clean on the willie.

Clean off the willie, though, it sounds like.

You get a bullet in the willie if you ain't got a willie.

Willie no more.

Oh my god.

Did Belinda view herself as a murderess?

Well, her tits didn't care, and she was sure Bella and Giselle's didn't either.

Did she regard herself as a murderess?

Not a word.

Maybe he means because

maybe she was responsible for him being aroused and that's what killed him because it wouldn't have been fatal to others.

Don't flatter yourself, sweetheart.

God, I feel like I'm partly to blame for being so goddamn sexy.

I guess he died of seeing my beautiful body.

Her body beautiful.

You can come and stay with me and my bro Benny if you're scared, Bella said supportively to the weeping Belinda.

Bro Benny, who we met in a Christmas special, I believe.

Benny?

With a bee?

Belinda screamed at her.

I'll go nowhere near.

What?

Benny's the other bee.

You are joking.

If Benny's the other bee, I'm leaving.

Fuck off.

No, genuinely fuck off if it's Benny.

Tattoos were on her mind and she could trust not a soul with even the sniff of a bee near their title.

So what about Bella?

I don't know.

What about Bill from HR?

Bill from HR.

Oh, I've never trusted him.

What about Klaus Block?

She hasn't seen him in for a while.

What about Betty Wilkes?

Well, exactly.

Belinda.

She doesn't trust herself.

So she could trust not a soul with even the sniff of a bee near their title.

But at Tony's instruction, she had to escape the newspapers.

Oh my.

I mean, what, like all the newspapers are like looking for an exclusive interview?

Well, you know what Rocky's picturing is that outside the building, outside Steel's,

you've got them in trilbies going like, Miss, are we going to have a quote?

Man and Belinda.

That scene in Notting Hill when Spike goes out.

Yes, exactly.

And there's people doing like live reporting, you know, with like those microphones you hold up close to your mouth.

Everybody's like very much.

OB truck.

Yeah, all of that, but like from ye oldie times as well, wearing off tweed, you know, typewriters.

Yeah, a lot of those flip, you know, notepads.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But Tony.

Read all about it.

Read all about it.

But at Tony's instruction, she had to escape the newspapers, so she ventured home instead.

After all, she had urgent questions that needed answering.

Why is he doing that tone of voice like that?

I don't know.

Honestly, this can chapter, like, I don't understand.

Well, tattoos are on her mind, so I'm assuming that she wants to go.

Tattoos are on her mind.

Why now?

She's had the tattoo her whole life.

Because of the fish.

Why has she never questioned what tattoo she's got?

She must have a reason for hanging BBB because she got it.

Guys, just go with it.

Just go with it.

So she had urgent questions that needed answering.

Chew chewing through the garden of England.

She's.

Head in hand.

She lives in London, so why is she chew chewing at at me?

Chew chewing, eh?

Chew chewing.

Chew chewing, which I assume is a train.

Chew chewing through the garden of England.

Which is Kent.

Which is Kent.

Which is a county just below London for those international listeners.

Chew chewing through the Garden of England, Belinda gazed upon the Polaroid of Bish's 3B tattoo on his scrawny bum.

When did she get that Polaroid?

In the hot air balloon.

She took a picture of it, Drummond.

No.

On a Polaroid.

She had a Polaroid camera with her.

It's so compatible.

No, she took it on her ring.

Do you remember?

She took a picture on her ring.

And her ring takes Polaroid.

Polaroids.

Yeah.

Shut up.

Where's it printing the Polaroid out from?

Printed it out.

Do you not remember?

No.

What are you talking about?

I do remember it taking a picture, but I don't remember it coming out of anywhere.

It said in chapter one, it said, She pointed her beautiful signet ring at it and snapped a photo as the negative printed from the band of gold look metal.

So it did print out, but that said negative and that's a powder word.

But you get a point.

How massive was it?

It's a knuckle duster with bloody inkjet attached to it.

Kiddell.

There's a scanner and photograph here as well.

Also, where is she going?

Because it said she was going home, but she's going

into Kent.

Are we going home home?

Are we going to the family home?

To Bobby Blumenthal.

Because she lives in central London, so why is she going to Kent?

That would be really exciting if that's true, because we've always kind of wondered about her family situation.

So just for full context, chew-chewing through the garden of England, Belinda gazed upon the Polaroid of Bish's 3B tattoo on his scrawny bum.

Alighting the train, she breathed in the uncomplicated air of the provinces.

So patronising.

The provinces!

Oh my god, arriving to the family home.

Oh!

What was your picture of the Blumenthal family home?

Beautiful.

It's going to be lovely, really idyllic.

Arriving to the family home she was shocked to find no one at home oh

no matter she thought dad was probably sniffing a vine and mum a line a line

mum's on coke mum's doing about charlie

I don't know what sniffing a vine is, but I know what sniffing a line is.

Oh my gosh.

Dad was probably sniffing a vine and mum a line.

Parents, Belinda knew, were not perfect.

Hang on, so her mum's like a drug addict.

Well, I'd say drug addict or a recreational drug user.

And a vine.

Well, he's, isn't he a sommelier, like an old sommelier?

I remember that.

Okay, yeah.

So a vineyard vine.

Okay.

And mama line.

Actually, there are vineyards in Kent.

Yeah, lovely English sparkling wine.

I'll tell you.

They could actually live on a vineyard.

I just can't believe that line means a line of coke, but maybe it does.

What other lines are you sniffing?

Well, Jane's parents, Blenda knew, were not perfect.

Okay.

Do you think she's sort of one of those, you know, those posh mums you see in films, like upper class, addicted to prescription drugs?

You know, I love that as an idea.

Let's use it.

I really enjoy it.

I'm going to channel that if she turns up, but no one's at home.

But Belinda suddenly had a brain wash.

Much overdue, my darling.

Put it on hot.

Put it on a high spin.

90 degrees.

Approximately an hour and 37 minutes later, Belinda was swinging her legs as she sat on an old wall behind the bike sheds in the village centre.

Where we presume she'd seen the sights before.

I mean, the bike shed being the traditional location for, you know, adolescent snog fests.

Snogs and more.

Oh, right, Alice.

I wish.

She must be like a local celebrity, though.

I thought you were going to say local slots.

We don't

So she's on an old wall swinging her legs.

There's the part of me that everyone sees.

I'm Howie Mandel, the comedian.

Apparently, I know what funny is.

Funny bought me a house, but I also know what isn't funny.

OCD.

I've lived with OCD my entire life and people throw the term around like it's no big deal.

But OCD is severe, often debilitating.

It's a mental health condition that involves unrelented, unwanted thoughts that can make you question your character, your beliefs, even your safety.

General therapy can help with some things, but for OCD, it can actually make things worse.

That's why I want to tell you about No C D.

No CD is the world's largest treatment provider for OCD and is covered by insurance for over 155 million Americans.

Their licensed therapists specialize in ERP, the most effective treatment for OCD.

If you think you might be struggling with OCD, go to nocd.com to book a free 15-minute call.

They are here to help.

She'd bought some ciggies and cider from the off-license.

She's progressed.

Is this what you did as a kid, Jamie?

You definitely drank cider, not even as a kid, as a.

I didn't smoke as well when I was younger.

Very bad.

Ciggies and cider.

She's never smoked before, I don't think.

Well, apart from the flute.

I don't even think she smoked that.

I think it just went up a bum.

Have you two ever smoked?

Have you ever tried a cigarette in your time?

I smoked one.

Oh, yeah, you too.

You both.

I've smoked one cigarette.

Really?

I wish I'd been there to see it.

Go on.

Did you finish it?

Or was it just a little puff?

Can you pull a YT from a cigarette?

If you can, I did.

Was it peer pressure, or were you just like, I'll give that a try?

I think I just thought maybe I could get into this, but I couldn't.

How old were you?

Yeah, how old?

33, you know.

I was maybe 16 or 17, but actually, I did.

my best friend when I was around thirteen or fourteen, we were at secondary school, and I got word that she'd fallen in with the cool girls and she'd started smoking.

Sorry, got word that she'd like she got spies throughout the school.

And so I remember we walked home together and her house was first and then I carried on walking to my house and I gave her um quite a stern lecture on her driveway about the risks of smoking.

I I've also just got the image of Alice with like a cigarette just hanging around

like did do you know the end of Greece where Sandy tries to like pull on a lengthy and smoke cigarette

to like cake with the cold dick?

So, Alice, tell me about it, Studd.

Dr.

Studd, to you.

Yeah, not inhaling, just like.

God, what's the point?

I mean, I do remember that.

I do remember thinking, it doesn't taste very nice, does it?

So she'd bought some ciggies and cider from the off-license and had happily squeezed into her old school uniform.

Oh my god, get it off.

Ty a rye, tits asunder and clitter wash.

Tyrai.

Ty a rye.

She had the tie on and it was awry.

Tyrai.

Ty a man.

Ty aye.

Tyra.

Tyrai.

Tyrai.

Tyra eye.

Tyrai.

Was that our best friend from school?

Hey, Tyrai.

Tits Asunder and Clitter Wash.

It does sound like her group of friends.

Yeah.

All of them.

Clitter wash.

Tit ash.

Tyra I.

Tyrite.

What a gang.

If she now has sex with somebody that she went to school with,

I'm gonna be

oh god,

why?

Okay, sorry.

Why would she wear her school uniform?

Why would she bump into somebody that she'd once had a dalliance with in the bike share?

It was exactly what's about to happen.

Why are they all still in the same place?

Honestly, they're not waiting to recreate that moment.

So, from her old haunt, she watched life live.

Eventually, a youngish, skinny man

with a nose ring and woollen hat that looked a little bit like an egg warmer skulked past.

It's going to be like Luke Shagalot or something.

This movie is so dumb.

Daniel Dixby.

It will be.

He stopped in his lethargic tracks as he double-tracked the past.

Sorry?

He did what with who now?

He stopped in his lethargic tracks as he double-tracked the past.

Oh, so he saw Belinda.

I would track back and delete that sentence, is what I would do.

Belinda,

am I dreaming or just doped?

He said dopely.

Is everyone on drugs in this?

Everyone's hi.

Could you be both, dearest Clint?

Dearest Clint!

Clint!

Could you be both, dearest Clint?

Belinda flirted casually.

You usually are.

Usually they've not seen each other for 20 years.

Wow.

I thought you were a mover and a shaker in the big smoke.

I hate that's Manchester.

Sorry.

I hate it.

Yeah.

Wow.

I thought you were a mover and a shaker in the big smoke.

Mick Jagger.

Oh, Belinda, do you want to come to my show tonight?

I'm trying to be a bit.

David Bowie.

Should have been a bit dope, do you see?

Oh, right, yes.

I'm lethargic and

lethargic and doped, yep.

Wow, I thought you were a mover and a shaker in the big smoke.

You actually make jagger.

I am.

Belinda laughed as she pointed at her rapidly burning cigarette.

Why?

Clint laughed too.

That is funny.

Good one, everyone.

You can see why those two get on.

I don't get it.

What?

I don't.

What, she pointed at a cigarette?

Like...

Oh,

that makes...

Wow, I thought you were a mover and a shaker in the big smoke.

I am, as she pointed at us.

Fucking hell.

Top notch penter.

Top nudge benter.

Belinda laughed as she pointed at her rapidly burning cigarette.

Clint laughed too.

Then Belinda laughed again, thinking, gosh, it was always so natural with this dude.

They're as thick as each other, so I can see why they got on.

gosh it was always so natural with this dude

it's so fucking boring

oh it's just great to have a good old conversation isn't it

shoot the breeze

it must be over 10 years since I last told you is he drunk now what's happening the drugs are starting to kick in

it must have been over 10 years since I told you you look like a foxy mama.

Foxy Mama!

Wow.

Oh my god, shoot my Willie off now.

I just want to ask you

Aaron Sorkin taking over the writing of this book because Jesus, this is

dialogue.

I mean, that's such an amazing compliment that you would remember it to the day when you gave it.

Foxy Mama.

Oh, what is it?

Foxy Mama?

Foxy Mama!

Because he's from the 70s.

What's that song where?

Oh, yeah.

Do you know S-Club Party?

There's a line in that.

Hoochi Mamma, Show Ya Nanna.

I am getting my phone.

Is it Show Ya Nana?

I think it's Show Ya Nana.

Or Show Ya Nanna.

I think it's Hoochi Mamma Show Ya Nana.

But like, as in Show Your Grandma or Show Ya Nanna.

I don't think it's Show Your Grandma.

So you think it's Show Ya Nanna?

Show your grandma at an S Club Party?

What kind of parties are you going to?

Actually, you would take your grandma.

You are the grandma.

Okay, so it must be over 10 years.

It feels like 10 years I've been chatting for.

Jesus Christ.

Just fucking shag in the bike shed so we can all move on and meet Bobby Bloom in the thorn.

And the Oscar for best screenplay goes too.

It must be 10 years since I've got you a foxy mama.

It must be over 10 years since I told you that you look like a foxy mama, Belinda.

Those threads are snazzy.

But I think you're- Where's he from?

When's he from?

Those threads.

Those threads are snazzy, but I think they'd look even more fab on my floor.

What a lie.

Oh, Clint, my darling.

The laid-back man drawled.

Jumping from the bricks, Belinda twirled in the youthful revels of Clint's hands.

Creaking his cool work pod in a revamped C container open.

Sorry?

Creaking his his cool.

Creaking his what in the what?

Creaking his cool work pod in a revamped C container open.

What does that mean?

I have no idea.

That's so weird.

Oh, well, nowadays they make like buildings in C containers, right?

Like offices and things.

Oh, like the crates, like the kind of, what are they called?

Like there's one in.

Like box park.

I mean, he sounds like he works in some sort of tech.

I'm really surprised he's got a job.

Yeah.

Creaking his cool work pod in a revamped C container open, Belinda stripped to her default position.

I remember those boobies far out.

Far out.

Also, I remember those boobies.

It's like he's writing somebody in the seventies.

When dad was a boy.

Very confusing.

Very confusing.

I remember those boobies.

Far out, Clint said as he removed his hoodie and drawstring trousers.

He's fully from like Woodstock, isn't he?

Back like in the 60s.

Yeah, you're so right.

Yeah.

Belinda was was taken aback.

She remembered his skin.

But now...

Covered in tattoos.

B, beep beep, beep beep beep.

Alice.

It's Clint with a silent bee.

But now there was not much of it to see.

Every capillary was drawn over with drawings.

Belinda was particularly struck by his talented colouring in.

Gently, like walking an old lady across a busy road, Belinda took his manhood in her hand.

Foxy Mama's helping Nana.

Oh, Foxy Mama.

Teasing her gripped fingers up and down the floppy slice of skin,

it got thicker and tenderer.

To Belinda, Clint's knob.

Knob.

To Belinda, Clint's knob was a magic.

You don't really use knob in a sexy

look at your knob.

Knob, yeah.

It's quite difficult to get your knob out.

Makes sense, you're to Belinda, Clint's knob was a magical Aladdin's lamp of passion.

The more she rubbed it, the more her wishes came true.

Oh, lovely.

In a seamless exchange worthy of the Jamaican relay team, Belinda switched hand to mouth.

Cool.

So she's gone from hand to mouth.

She says, sucking him off, basically.

Okay, thank you.

After a good old go.

After a good old go, Clint's voice sounded from upon high.

Belinda, quit licking it.

I'm not a wibbly wobbly wonder.

I feel sick.

Stop licking it.

I'm not a wibbly, wobbly wonder.

What's that?

I've no idea.

A wibbly, wobbly wonder.

Is that a type of ice cream?

James.

You want me to Google wibbly wobbly wonder?

I don't know if I want that in my history.

Oh, Wibbly Wobbly Wonder was an ice cream on a stick which was marketed in Ireland in the 1970s, 1980s and 1990s.

Well, I mean, that's prime time for Rocky.

Yeah.

70s.

That could have been a little treat that you used to have.

Oh my god, it looks...

I mean, I don't know if they still exist.

It doesn't look the most appetizing.

It's got like brat.

Is that brown on top?

Well, chocolate, presumably.

Presumably.

And then,

what, lemon and strawberry underneath?

Wow.

Lemon and strawberry.

It's going to be lemon, is it?

It's going to be orange.

Sorry, strawberry and banana flavour, ice.

Oh, I do beg your pardon.

Jelly and chocolate.

3p.

3p!

3p, what a bargain.

Wibbly-wobbly wonder.

Wow.

Do you think they all called their dicks wibbly wobbly wonders?

It'd be an opportunity you missed if you didn't.

James, you have to post a picture of that.

That looks rancid.

Appropriately primed, Clint slipped into his old playmate's pussy and rogered the common sense out of her.

There wasn't any together on that, I think.

Belinda whooped from the leather recliner to countertop cashier.

Oh, she they did it on the recliner and then they did it on the counter.

It is factually correct.

This will be good.

Lawyer talks to detail.

Oh, God, what is this going to be?

Come on, Dad.

I already hard disagree.

It is factually correct

to say that lust is as powerful a drug as heroin.

And Belinda was an addict scoring on the badass streets of desire.

Wow, that is lovely, that, isn't it?

Not true, but

it is not much of a correct.

Oh my God, that is one of the funniest things he's ever said.

It is factually correct.

I doubt it.

Reversing, Clint's long lollipop popped out of Belinda's fuchsia vag as she sprang back to business.

Right, so business, okay.

Clint, do you remember my 18th birthday fancy dress party?

She idly mused.

Oh my god, can you imagine?

Used to love a fancy dress party.

We were quite good at fancy dress parties.

We were.

Yeah, we were back in the day.

What have we dressed in the past?

We've done like...

You wore that like cat suit.

Oh yeah, you went as Twister once.

Do you remember that?

I did.

I dressed as the game Twister.

This is Doubtfire.

It was a a doubt.

Doubtfire, yes, I did do that.

You've been Problem Child.

Problem Child, yeah.

For his whole goddamn life, not just dressed up with that party.

I remember you were Truman Capote once.

Yes, yeah, when that movie came out at uni, I did that.

Well, at Leeds, we had the Otley Run.

Yep.

Do you ever do the Ottley Run where you'd, you'd, it was 18 pubs all on the same road called The Otley Road.

Alice had heard tell of it, but she never

took personally.

I just did it over the three years.

Yeah.

That was fun.

I used to love the Ottley Run.

And you'd dress up and you'd have a pint in each pub or whatever.

And you could do pub golfly.

You never did a pint in each pub.

Oh, yeah.

Alice.

You didn't do 18 pints.

Baby cats.

I once did pub golf otley run, hole in one in every pub.

What's that mean again?

You have to down a drink in every pub and a different drink in each pub.

So a pint in one, I mean, that's

wine.

Yeah, but we were fry.

Kids.

I mean, you know.

We weren't kids, we were of legal drinking.

Yeah, but like, you know, you need kids.

Yeah, well, so was I.

Yes, but you were you.

Uchi mama, show your nana, yeah.

Uchi mama, stay at home.

There's the part of me that everyone sees.

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So, do you remember my 18th birthday fancy dress party?

Hell yeah.

And do you remember your gift?

Yeah.

It's just the chemistry is undeniable.

It's a little palpable, isn't it?

Belinda traced her finger over one of Clint's pretty skin pictures.

Why did you choose the three B's, Clint?

Clint looked terror inside himself.

What?

But he knew this day would come.

He knew he had to tell her the truth.

Well

because

I was paid to, Belinda.

By By who?

She demanded, putting a hoiked-up skirt back on.

By

by

your mother.

I'm sorry, what?

By the drug-addled Mrs.

Blumenthal!

She was off a trip.

Why did you listen to her?

Can you tattoo my daughter?

Mrs.

Blumenthal, I don't feel completely comfortable with this.

I'll give you 20 quid.

All right.

By

your mother, Mrs.

Blumenthal.

No, we know, yeah.

I have to read every line and every word.

Stupid man.

In a tantrum fit for a toddler, Belinda stormed to the door.

Before you go, are you forgetting something?

Clint said, needle in hand.

Every time Clint had Nookie, he asked

his partner to ink him a new tat.

God, that's time-consuming.

Every time he he has a new partner, every time he has Nookie.

Oh, I don't know.

Can you imagine if you had a cookie in the morning?

It's like, Clint, babe, I've got to get to work.

And he's like, you got to do it, though.

He must just be red raw constantly.

Yeah.

Reading his body was like a brief history of Belinda's adolescence.

Oh, wow.

So it must be after every time.

She

stops.

And it made her emotional as she jabbed the peace sign onto his scrotum.

Scrotum!

The peace sign!

That's going to be wiggly, isn't it?

It's not going to be very neat.

Oh, that's made my eyes water just for the thought of it.

Oh my god.

Peace sign on the scrotum is all that's left.

Maybe.

She did say that there wasn't much skin left when he got naked, remember?

Oh, yes, there was.

I mean, you'd rather have behind the ear than scrotum.

For someone who's not trained in tattoos as well.

Can you imagine how bad it's going to look?

Oh my God.

Yes, Clint was her first, but he wasn't her second and wouldn't be her last.

Well, obviously.

But she lost her virginity to him.

That's interesting.

That's a character point.

Clint was her first.

Oh, okay.

James Faney interest.

I write no book.

Who gets to decide what's drawn as well?

The drawer or him?

Well, she chose the peace signs.

It's a free-for-all, yeah.

Why would he say so?

Literally, no reason.

That's why you doodle in a book when you're not listening in class.

Arriving home, Belinda used her house keys to enter the family building.

So, oh, so she just did the tattoo and was on a merry way.

In the soft lighting, her mother, feather in headband,

and body-clinging bisque bulging.

Bisque.

Sorry?

Bisque.

Basque.

Bisque?

He's put bisque.

What does he mean basque?

Well, bisque is a fish soup.

Messi eater, clearly.

How many lines does she have

oh yeah sorry like yeah i think yeah basket bulging leaned on the very square rooted kitchen island as she slumped into her cherry sherry sling back

what are you talking about

capitalized so

it's an absolute mess as she slumped into her cherry sherry sling back belinda rolled her very emotive eyes Before anything else happened, Mrs.

Blumenthal sung to Belinda

an intoxicated torch song.

A what song?

A torch song.

What is a torch song?

It's like a kind of ballad, isn't it?

Like a love, like a heartbreak love ballad.

Okay.

Alright, well, should we sit back and enjoy this little

show?

Do you recognise the song, or is this?

No, James.

So she sung Belinda an intoxicated torch song.

Oh my god, he's going to sing.

Where

have you

been?

My love,

you I have not seen my love.

It's true your body's looking lean.

How's he doing this off the top of his head?

This voice is melody.

But first and last, an only daughter.

And that took a turn.

Why do you look so mean?

Is she writing this on the spot?

Jamie's writing on the spot.

Literally.

Old Mother Blumenthal

had been an okay burlesque performer all Belinda's existence and before.

Her mother's a burlesque performer.

Her modest success was compensated by her husband's curated but her-operated wine cellar.

Her modest success was really bloody lucky because that was dreadful.

Oh.

What was those lyrics?

Sorry.

Where have you been?

Where have you been?

Why are you seen?

My love, you have not.

My love, you I have not seen my love.

It's true, your body's looking lean.

But first and last, and only daughter, why'd you look so mean?

So she's improvised that as she walked in.

That's pretty impressive, it's just off her face,

absolutely off her tips.

I'm just got all dressed up.

How did she know she was coming?

But Linda's making more sense, though, isn't she?

Immediately, I'm like, Okay, this is her mother.

Is she always dressed as a burlesque dancer?

It's the middle of the afternoon in the garden of England.

Oh, yeah, man.

Looking lean.

Why is I mean?

My first and last and only daughter.

The only daughter's already been.

So her modest success was compensated by her husband's curated but her operated wine cellar.

Whenever she got a bum review, they sold another bottle of 1830s champagne, and that's a marriage.

Okay.

A few things.

An important note.

I don't think you're supposed to keep champagne.

Really?

I don't think it gets better with age.

From the 1830s.

I don't think that's a good idea.

I really don't.

You're going to open that.

That's going to be an absolute shit shit.

Well, they're just selling it.

They're like, well,

psych.

The other thing is, every time she does a bad show.

She has a bad review.

Why would that have cost them money?

So that's what her parents do.

Yeah, and that's a marriage.

What a strange business setup.

So she does subpar burlesque, which is subsidised by selling vintage wines.

Yeah.

But

why doesn't she just do a job which doesn't mean they have to sell off their seller?

She's costing them money.

She really is.

I guess it's her passion.

Belinda was looking bored as her mother caressed her last show-off note.

Have you ever seen that SNL sketch where Kristen Wiggs like, don't make me sing?

I've got that image for old Mother Blumenthal.

So she was looking bored as her mother caressed her last show-off note.

Why do you look so mean?

Hi, mum.

Let's chat.

Okay,

Mum said as she unhooked her outfit, enticingly showing her body as nature had intended.

Enticingly, it's a daughter.

Yeah, weird.

Well, if you're in a Bisque, I mean.

Sorry, you know I get blue when your father's away, sprinkling chalk dust

around his worldwide vineyards.

I'm enjoying the sort of ab fab vibe.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's totally fine.

Is that right, isn't it?

Yeah.

Would you you like a glass of the family vintage?

As she caressed her luscious tits.

Don't open that, that's keeping the family afloat.

Don't drink the fucking produce.

Go on, then.

Belinda couldn't resist.

Why not make it a double helping?

Do another one for dad, wherever he's laying his pruning shears and grape squish wellies.

Oh, so he is making it because he's squishing the grapes.

What on earth?

As the two almost the same looking, but one older and one younger woman.

That's families.

Drank and nibbled bubble and squeak.

Isn't that like...

What is bubble and squeak?

I don't know.

Isn't that like mashed potatoes?

And greens, yeah.

Cabbage, is it?

Champagne and bubble and squeak.

This is life.

As the two almost the same looking, but one older and one younger woman drank and nibbled bubble and squeak, Belinda dared to ask the question that had toyed with her lips ever since Australia.

Mum

You know the tattoo you got me for my 18th birthday?

Well, it wasn't since Australia, was it?

It was about since about 10 minutes ago when she got told by Clyn.

Now, are we assuming that the mum knew that she knew, or is she about to be shocked that she knows that?

Well,

Mum, you know the tattoo you got me for my 18th birthday?

Hmm?

Belinda's female parent noised.

It's very odd.

He's really at his wits end, isn't he?

Now, really quite pissed.

Hmm.

The gorgeous insignia of the three bees?

Belinda prodded.

Oh yes, that.

The three B tree.

The what?

The three B tree.

The three B tree.

Mama B wistfully remembered.

But what do they mean?

What do you mean?

What do they mean?

The three B's!

They must mean something.

Not a spot, Belinda.

The B is the most sexy of letters, especially when it's in its capitalised form.

And you should think yourself lucky to be adorned with not only one, but three of them in a tree.

Look at James's face.

Absolutely.

I'm gonna leave.

He's a gog.

Do you know what, actually?

Yeah, this has been great.

Thank you so much.

If the answer is three B's because they look fucking pretty, I'm leaving.

Bye.

No, I'm coming back really.

I wasn't really following because I was just reading it.

It's quite hard to follow, just to read.

So what?

It's just three B's in a tree.

Yeah, she's basically saying there's no meaning.

Okay.

I can see why you're livid.

So, so

she should be lucky to be adorned with not only only one, but three of them in a tree.

I mean, it's just bullshit, isn't it?

Three beats of bullshit, because

what does that even mean?

They look so pretty, they look great in capital form.

That's why you tattooed your daughter with it.

Fuck off, Genevieve, or whatever she's called.

Old Mother Blumenthal.

I always thought they were a reference to you, me, and dad, Belinda said sweetly.

Oh, yes, yes, that sounds better.

Yes, then, it is, stuttered the stunned matriarch with a crooked smile.

Are you joking me?

What's going on, mum?

But Belinda's dear old mummy said nothing more.

I encountered a strange old man on a work trip, Belinda persevered.

He had the same tattoo bee tree as I.

Why is it he oldie English all of a sudden?

Huh?

Mum gasped.

Mum.

No, wolfie bee,

she screamed.

Wolfie bee.

It's like Cardi B.

Wolfie.

Wolfie B?

Belinda spat.

Oh, come on.

He's the murderous and tyrannical monster of cookware.

But yes, exactly him.

Why would he have my tattoo?

Old Mother Blumenthal looked squarely at Belinda through the empty bottle.

They're in the fire!

I'm imagining it like a telescope.

Because Belinda, and I hate to tell you this because he is evil,

and I swear on all of the Norse gods, I've tried to protect you from him at all costs.

No, not you don't think her actual

do you think?

But yes,

he is one of us, Time.

Yes,

family.

Belinda finished.

Belinda blinked.

What are you talking about?

What do you mean, one of us?

That's the end of the chapter.

What?

So what?

Is Wolfgang Belinda's dad?

Wolfie B, please.

Sorry, Wolfie B.

Granddad, surely.

I mean, he couldn't sire a child 30 years ago, couldn't he?

It was rotten.

Oh my god.

Okay, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

So if they are family.

Like, if he is the dad or the granddad or whatever, what does that matter?

And also, we kind of knew that or assumed it from the end of book.

Well, I didn't.

No, because didn't Bish say yes, family?

Yeah, but I didn't know that meant that he's her disgusting

point.

Okay.

These are so repulsive.

I just thought he was being gross and slobbery.

Does that make any sense whatsoever?

So presumably,

old mother, woman husband, women.

Wolfie B.

Yeah.

30 years ago.

And then when Belinda was 18, it was like, just so she knows, one day,

give her a tattoo.

Which I hope she won't ask me about until she's 30.

But maybe you're right, maybe grandfather.

I mean, who knows?

This is actually quite well delivered.

I mean, apart from that whole stupid bit with Clinwich, we could have just missed out.

But I do quite like going back to her mum and dad's place, though.

I like the picture that he's painted there.

And as I said before, she makes more sense now, I think.

Yes, she is.

She is of her sort of.

You know, when you meet your friend's parents and they suddenly come into

context, yeah, for sure.

I mean, she's particularly mad.

The mum or Belinda?

Oh, the mum.

We haven't really had a snapshot of the dad yet.

Yeah.

He's not the dad.

We don't know that.

He's not the dad.

We don't know.

We need a Jeremy Kyle-style paternity test.

I mean, many questions.

Many, many, many questions.

Some answers.

We still don't know who shot.

George Sylvester.

We may never.

I mean, in a way, thank goodness George is there because, like,

I can't do the the voice for that.

I can't cope with that anymore.

Well, he transferred that to Clyn.

Yeah,

and our stats for Manchester have just plummeted, so hopefully, that'll come back.

Speaking of Manchester, don't forget we're going on tour next year, Manchester being one of the dates.

Hitting the road.

Two of the dates.

Two of the dates.

We're doing two now.

Maybe three of the dates.

Who knows?

Oh, nope, they've all just been cancelled.

Thanks, Jamie.

Thanks for nothing.

But if you want to come see us, all the dates are in 2022, and you can find out the details at mydadrotaporno.com.

Yeah, please do follow us on social media as well and get in touch at dadrotaporno on Twitter, at my dadrote on Instagram.

Yeah, there's a lot to discuss.

If you've liked the song today, if you've liked this little lesson in how to produce English wines, then

those are his squishy boots.

Then like and write us a little review if you can, wherever you get your podcasts.

Well, guys, it is factually correct to say that this is the end of the episode.

That actually is.

Finally.

Suffs, the new musical has made Tony award-winning history on Broadway.

We demand to be heard.

Winner, best score.

We demand to be seen.

Winner, best book.

We demand to be quality.

It's a theatrical masterpiece that's thrilling, inspiring, dazzlingly entertaining, and unquestionably the most emotionally stirring musical this season.

Suffs, playing the Orpheum Theater October 22nd through November 9th.

Tickets at BroadwaySF.com.