Footnotes: Calling Belinkers 2

Hello and welcome to my dad Rhoda Porno.

It's footnotes time, guys.

Yeah.

It's an exciting one today.

I love this.

Yeah, you might remember last season we did a Call the Balinkas episode.

Yeah.

You won't believe this.

We're doing it again.

We absolutely are.

We are recycling an idea.

We're recycling a joke.

Not like us.

But basically, not like you, Madame.

Not like me, I know.

Seriously.

So, basically, you can come on and talk about whatever you want.

Loads of you have sent us your telephone numbers.

So, it's a bit of a from a chat roulette.

Who?

You know, like you'd log on, and some people were wanking, some people just wanted to chat.

It's going to be like that.

Do you think some people are going to be wanking on the phone?

I would not doubt it.

Oh, God.

Let's not do video calls.

So, James, you have the list of names and numbers.

I have.

Should we dive in?

Let's go.

Good luck, guys.

What do you think we're going to get?

Perverts a panty.

Perverts and panties.

Perverts a plenty.

Oh, did I say and panties?

No, I said,

oh, my God.

See you on the other side.

Here we go.

I'm dialing the first number.

Hello.

Hello, is that Paris?

Yes, beekin.

Paris, it's James Alison Jamie from My Dad Rota Porna.

Hi.

Shut up.

We won't.

You shut up, Paris.

No way.

How are you?

I'm so good.

How are you?

Yeah, really good.

Where are you right now, Paris?

I am laying on my bed with a fan fanning me.

Oh, I can hear it whirring in the background.

It's so hot.

So, Paris, what did you want to talk to us about today?

Well,

I'd like to talk about Belinda Blink, the board game.

Oh.

I'm thinking in collaboration with other board games already on the market.

Okay.

Fantastic.

So use their infrastructure and we can just put our branding on it.

I like it.

Good.

Exactly that.

Exactly that.

So, Numero Uno.

Poor Pavore.

Oh,

Cludo.

Oh, premise of Cludo, but who stole the blueprint?

Oh, that's good.

You've got all the little figurines, where they're at, what they're doing, and then you can figure out who did it.

I love that.

So you've got the background goon somewhere, you've got Giselle somewhere, Professor Slint somewhere else, the factory in Scotland.

Exactly that.

You brought it to life.

Better than me.

Paris, I love that your catchphrase is.

Exactly that.

I'm going to steal that.

Exactly that.

Well, I think we're all on the same page here, so this is fantastic.

And there's murders in Cluedo, right?

Is that it?

That you're solving a murder, is that correct?

Yes.

I won't lie to you, Jamie.

I've never played it.

Well, you sound like the perfect woman to adapt it.

I know the premise, and I think that's all we need to know.

It's a very rocky approach to the business world.

Exactly that.

Exactly that.

Exactly that.

Go on, then.

What else have you got?

So, sorry, if you can hear some purring, it's my ginger pussy

in the background.

So, number two, Monopoly Classic.

Yeah.

And it's just all the greatest locations throughout the novels.

She's been to so many places.

We can go to the Moulin Maron if we want to.

Yes.

The Lazy Pea Ranch, the Maze.

Like maybe he's the pumping station.

The pumping station.

Yes, Quicklebood's pumping station.

Exactly.

Oh, that could be one of the water utilities.

So good.

Absolutely.

We've got the clink for jail when you go to jail.

Oh my god.

The town hall clock, that could be like free parking.

Yes.

But what could the figurines be?

Pomegranate?

Yes.

A pan, obviously, like a saucepan.

I think there is a pan in the real one, is there?

Oh, obviously a little horse with toffee apple chew.

Yes.

Maybe a monster prick.

A monster prick, a very large piece.

Paris is like, yeah, whatever, let's do it.

Exactly.

Exactly that.

I think anything's possible if you just believe.

And by that, you mean I feel like I can steal ready-made board games and just stick Belinda Blinked all over it.

Exactly that.

Any more for any more?

My final one is just the trivial pursuit.

Classic.

Just quiz questions.

The ultimate Belinda quiz.

Have you prepared a question we could try and answer now for the game?

Oh, good God.

I'll take that as a no.

She's too busy finding herself in that bed.

Let's keep it simple.

What was the salary that Belinda was offered when she first applied for a job at Steels?

Oh, Christ.

You know what?

My Spotify, you know, when it does the hourly thing at the end of the year, I think I listened to about 800 hours of Belinda Blinks and I couldn't answer that question.

Well, the answer, even I know that, it's 80,000 a year plus travel perks.

Plus travel perks.

Well, maybe I have to make up some prototypes because I am going to Belindia 30th next year in London.

So

maybe we could just bring it all there.

We can play them in the interval.

Yes.

I think it would be really fun for people who've come to see a live show to watch the four of us play a really long game of monopoly.

Paris, thank you so much.

It's been so lovely to talk to you.

Thank you.

I'll see you later.

I'll see you later.

Exactly that.

Bye-bye.

Oh my God, I'm obsessed with Paris.

She was great.

When can we next hang out with her?

How is that ginger pussy?

My god.

A little bit sounds like what Bella might sound like.

Yes.

She had all the energy that I needed today.

Should we do another?

Yeah.

Hola, is that Josh?

See, hi, Josh.

It's James Allison Jamie from My Dad Roto Porno.

Oh my god, I can't believe you're calling.

Holy shit.

Am I allowed to say that?

You are allowed to say that.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Now, you don't sound like a native Spaniard.

You are in Spain, but where are you from originally?

I'm from Cleveland, Ohio, the United States of America.

He said, ever so proudly.

Ever so proudly.

That was a proper Miss World introduction.

So what did you want to talk about, Josh, today?

So I'm wondering about the Belinda Blink cinematic universe.

Yes.

Okay.

I think there's so much potential.

Like, I want to know about Alfie.

I want to know about the smallish man.

There are just so many little side characters that I think have a lot of room to be developed into full-blown characters.

So you think we could do like, you know, like Marvel are doing low-key and WonderVision and things like that.

We could do spin-off TV series, movies with these characters.

Oh, absolutely.

I think you could even go into musical albums, pieces of artwork.

I don't know.

You could do it all.

So if we were going to go, you know, once the Belinda Blinked books are finished, who was the first person you would choose to do a spin-off to ensure it would be successful?

Truly, I think that the person who we have the most success for is a prequel with The Duchess.

And how is she,

of course?

How is she like the head of MI6 or whatever she is?

But then she wound up at the horse and chockey inn.

It was just, I had a lot of questions.

I think the Duchess could become like a mini-series, like the Queen's Gambit.

It's giving me the Tudors.

It's giving me two seasons.

The Crown!

Obviously, it's the Crown.

Oh, my God.

The Crown.

Who?

The Duchess.

Imagine how beautiful it would look.

Crossover, though.

You could, like, you know, the way that the worlds sometimes cross over.

Yes.

Oh, my God.

We should find a random person that's with an extra in the crown.

Yeah.

And cast them as the duchess in ours.

So it really does feel like it's a crossover.

Jamie, that's a trilogy.

That's a trilogy.

And of course, Toffee Apple Chew's got to have her moment in the sun.

Oh my God.

Can I just say your guys' trailer for trailer five of you walking to the tombstone with Toppy Applechew sent me to Mars.

I thought that was the funniest thing.

We have to just do that for the merch alone.

Toffee Apple Chew.

Of course.

Yeah.

She's this generation's black beauty.

Holy shit.

On that bombshell.

Adios.

Adios.

Adios avoto tro tamien.

Exactly.

And same to you.

Exactly that.

Josh has some great ideas.

Who's the head of Marvel?

We should get in contact with Kevin Feige, I think.

Yeah, okay.

I'm sure you can just Google him and find his number on the internet.

Kevinfeigie at mcu.com.

That'll do.

Okay, next one.

Yeah.

I don't know how they're going to top big Josh Energy.

Hello.

Hello, is that Ella?

Yes, it is.

Hi.

Hi, it's Jamie, James, and Alice here from My Dad Rota Porno.

Hi, Ella.

Hi.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Well, this just made my life.

It's lovely to talk to you.

So, how can we help you today, Ella?

So, I, first of all, would like to be a bit cocky and say that I got a distinction on my master's dissertation.

Come on!

And I'd like to follow that up with the dissertation was on the topic, My Dad Rottoporno.

Shusha.

What?

Excuse me?

Well, the world of My Dad Rott Oporno is so amazing and vast that I struggled to sort of whittle down what I wanted to focus on, that it ended up being a dissertation from, you know, a more academic point of view on how comedy is actually a great way to destigmatise sexuality.

The overarching conclusion was that my dad wrote a porno does make the world a better place.

You're welcome, society.

You've made us sound far smarter than we are, and we appreciate that.

So how many words are we talking for a master's dissertation?

15,000.

Oh my god.

That's more words than my dad's ever written in his life.

The world of academia is very keen on Rocky Flintstone.

He's a fellow scholar, really.

Well, one of the main points is how Rocky's sort of cult of personality is a huge part of my dad wrote a porno success, so I'm sure Rocky would love to read all about how people are fascinated with him and, you know, how it's not about you guys, it's always about him.

Ella, if it's about my dad, he'll love to read it.

I love that you've basically just described him as a cult leader, which I think is probably on his list of ambitions.

Ella, thank you so much.

It was so lovely to talk to you.

Thank you for changing the world for the better.

Wowzers.

Wowzers, trousers.

And you know, I don't say that lightly.

I have an idea.

You know, Kian that did the timeline.

You know, Kian from BelindaBlink.business.

Of course, we are Kian.

I think we should set him and Ella up on a kind of scholastic date.

They'd get on so well, they'd have so much to talk about.

We could do like a kind of Belinda Blinked trivia off against each other.

Can you imagine?

A university challenge, Ella versus Kian.

Like a mastermind.

Yeah.

Who's going to be the biggest Blinda Blink expert?

My money's on Kian.

I've got good feelings about Ella, and that's that's called balance.

I'll be Switzerland.

Love them both.

I adore doing this.

Let's do another one.

Shall we?

Yeah.

Hello.

Hi, it's Jamie, James, and Alice from my dad rota porno.

Is that Mike?

Whoa, yes.

Hi.

Hi.

I never thought you would call me.

So tell us, whereabouts in the world are you, Mike?

I'm in Moscow right now.

Moscow, nice.

So Russian.

Russian.

Our first Russian on the show.

Yeah.

Mike, what do do you think of the representation of Russia and Russians in Rocky's work?

Nasty.

Nasty!

I mean, not all people here are like Grigor, so.

Yeah, Grigor Kolansky, of course.

Quite greasy-lipped, was he?

Yeah, I hope there will be someone more, I don't know, nicer.

Do you have a soft spot for Countess Zara, a fellow Russian, of course?

Well,

she's weird.

I wouldn't say a soft spot, but I mean, it's nice that there's at least a representation of Leningrad, which is actually actually now St.

Petersburg.

Yeah, exactly.

It doesn't even exist anymore, does it?

Leningrad.

Yeah.

Now, Mike, I dread to ask, were my Russian accents any good at all?

Yeah, actually, you just nailed it.

Oh, there you go.

Mike, don't be ridiculous.

I know I'm now you're not being told this a lot, but in Russian, you just nail it.

Oh, thanks, mate.

Yes.

These two don't believe it.

So you guys should start bullying him about at least Russian accent.

Okay, well, it was nice to talk to you, Mike.

All the best.

I hope Moscow's okay.

We'll see you soon.

I'm really excited that you call.

I mean, mean, it will be my early birthday present.

Ah, when's your birthday?

Tomorrow.

Me too.

Oh, really?

June the 16th.

Well, then, congrats to us.

Oh.

You guys.

Happy birthday, Mike.

How old are you going to be?

20.

Oh, I'm 34.

Go away.

Oh, my God.

I've got a birthday buddy, guys.

So adorable.

He's 15 years your junior.

He's 14 years my junior.

But I get your point.

He's a different generation, Jamie.

We're on a a roll, guys.

Let's keep going.

Hello.

Hello ha.

Is that Aloha?

Yeah.

Hi, it's Jamie, James, and Alice from my dad wrote a porno here.

Hi.

Hi.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

Hi.

Hi.

Okay, tell me more.

Now, your name is Aloha.

Yes, not like Aloha.

I know, I'm sorry.

I got that wrong again.

Are we catching you at a bad time?

You sound like you're being kidnapped or in some sort of meeting.

No, I'm actually at work, but I'm not doing anything right now.

That's what I like to hear.

What do you do for work?

I'm actually a therapist.

Oh, cool.

You have a huge following in my place of work, including my boss.

Really?

We are the therapists go-to podcast.

Yes, we hear a lot of awful stuff during the so you guys are super like refreshing.

In your professional opinion, is Rocky okay?

No, absolutely not.

Honestly, it is, yeah, he's not okay.

I mean, I'm concerned about him.

We keep suggesting that Jamie should go to therapy.

What do you think?

I think all of you need some like trauma therapy.

I'm not sure how you guys function, but especially Jamie.

I mean, I cannot imagine my dad talking about rimming as much as Rocky does.

Hello, are you at work?

Well, I'm in my office with the door closed.

You've heard on the show, Jamie basically does regression therapy every week.

Yeah, absolutely.

I'd be glad to provide, you know, the services.

If I'm not available, I'm pretty sure another one of my fellow Berliners therapists will be glad to provide services as well.

I mean, I think I'm qualified.

I think you sound like you could be incredibly helpful.

We'll keep your phone number on file if that's all right.

That'd be perfectly fine.

You guys can call anytime.

I'll be glad to provide you with my professional opinion.

Oh, thank you so much.

That actually does make me feel a little bit better.

Yeah.

You'll regret that, Aloha.

I promise you.

I think we all need to go in group therapy now, guys.

I'm claiming those free sessions.

She better mean it.

Okay, let's keep going.

Hello.

Hello, is that Miles?

Yes.

Hi, Miles.

It's Jamie from My Dad Rotten Porner.

I've got Alice and James here.

Hi.

Hi, Miles.

Oh, my God.

What?

I'm sorry.

Hold on.

Let me just freak out for like five seconds.

Okay, five seconds.

Five, four, three.

Three, two, one.

Miles, you're back in the room.

How's it going?

I'm doing better now.

How are you guys doing?

We're good.

We're good, mate.

Whereabouts are you in the world?

So I live in a little town called Three Rivers, Canada, in Quebec.

Oh, nice.

Quebecois.

Obviously, we had to flee the crazy conservative South and just, you know, wanted to be different.

So we're in Quebec.

Good for you.

So are you from the deep south in the States originally?

Right.

I'm from a little town like outside of Nashville, Tennessee.

So what do you want to talk about?

Well, I loved in the last episode that y'all nodded towards the biblical allegories in the Belinda Blink series, and I thought that was super fun.

So I'm like, let's let's rattle off some Bible verses, let's rattle off some biblical allegories, let's walk you through it.

Is that something you know about Miles?

Are you Bible au fae?

Oh, Alice.

Yes, I do.

So, did you want to expand on our kind of biblical theory?

You obviously know the Bible a lot better than we do.

Is there any more parallels you can draw?

So, I'm trying to think of like the Last Supper, betrayal, Judas Iscariot kind of deal.

Dare I say the trellis is very reminiscent of the crucifix.

Oh my god.

I'm not saying the allegory necessarily follows through because I think that would mean that Belinda was the kind of born-again

messiah.

Yeah.

I mean she's kind of got a messiah complex.

Well she came back to life kind of.

That's what's true.

She rose again.

Oh my god.

She did rise again.

Wait a second.

Didn't Bella come back to life in like beep, beep, beep?

Oh my god, yes, she did.

She came back.

So many people in these books have died and risen again.

Are we about to have a trilogy with James Spooner?

Holy Trinity, you mean.

The Holy Trinity of people coming back to life.

Oh my goodness.

Oh my god, the Belinda, the Bella, and the Spooner.

I really think we're onto something.

And what do you think people back home would think of Belinda Blinked and Dad's writing?

Ooh, see, every time I want to share it on Instagram, I would be like, you'll have to listen to this episode.

But I'm like, all of the boomers that follow me on Instagram, their wig is going to fly off.

I still am like, got all the older crowd from the local Methodist church following me on Instagram.

So you gotta be careful.

You gotta post with caution.

Yeah, you've also gotta preach the good word of Flintstone, though.

I mean, well, now that we've established it's a full-fledged biblical allegory, I really think it's my responsibility to be posting that.

Absolutely.

Exactly.

Yeah, it's your duty.

Miles, it's been a pleasure to chat to you.

You make those wigs fly now, won't you?

Across the room.

Oh, man.

Hey, it was so fun to talk to y'all.

I love what you do.

So funny.

Cannot wait to see you when you come to Canada.

Absolutely.

Can't wait to come back.

Oh, y'all have a great day.

Y'all have a great day too, Miles.

Bye, Belinda.

Be with you.

Hey, Belinda, be with you.

I don't know about their wigs, but I've lost my wig.

Miles is great.

Endless love for Miles.

Yeah, I love the y'all.

Y'all, we just can't pull it off, can we?

Y'all, well, you said it, but I'm not sure you could pull it off just you know, in your everyday.

Should we dial again?

Y'all, should we dial again?

Yeah, it's dialogue.

Yeah, just dial again.

Hello?

Hi, it's Alice, James, and Jamie from from My Dad Rota Porno.

Oh my God, hi.

Hi.

How are you?

Where are we talking to you from right now?

I'm in Denmark.

Lovely.

Hello.

We love you at Denmark.

Now, Jennifer, how can we help?

What's going on?

Yes, well, I am due to have a baby in July, which is very

a baby girl.

And yeah, I'm allowed to bring something to the labor to relax myself and distract myself.

And obviously, I wanted to bring my dad rota porno because it's mindless.

Thank you very much.

In the best possible way.

Some people play Beethoven to the bump.

Jennifer plays the mad world of rocking.

So, do you have an episode in mind or a season?

Like, what are you thinking?

Well, actually, my surname is Montague, so I feel like to continue to stay on brand, I need Shiara to feature.

Of course.

So, maybe Dearly Beloved when she gets locked in the flat.

Yes.

Or when do they have that?

They have a big dinner together, don't they?

Yeah.

The first time.

dinner at the duke's table i believe that's called james that's in series

table yes yes and obviously like you should listen to the cervix grabbing episode because you'll be experiencing that yourself and you'll be able to really relate

Brilliant.

Oh, this is so helpful, you guys.

Thank you.

I'm sure you're writing it all down as we speak.

This is all going in the birthing plan that's going to the midwives, I'm sure.

Now, Jennifer, the obvious question now is names for your little girl.

We haven't really decided yet, so I can imagine you have plenty of suggestions.

Well, hang on, it has to be be Chiara.

If you're Montague it has to be Chiara.

You've got to have a real Chiara Montague in the world.

The only thing I'm worried about is I don't want her to be called Chiara and I know that you got a lot of angry tweets about Chiara versus Chiara.

Who's a really empowering woman like who's really got her shit together?

Hazel.

Yes, Metal Pilot's pretty accomplished with her giant watch, right?

Exactly.

She's never late for anything.

She's always on time.

I'd love to learn more about Dr.

Studd.

Oh, yeah, Dr.

Studd.

Studd.

Did you ever get a first name, Dr.

Studd?

No, I think it was just Dr.

Studd.

Can you call a baby Dr.

Studd?

Dr.

Studd Montague.

I think it works.

What's the baby's name?

Dr.

Studd.

Congratulations.

Well, actually, you know, Alice, I hear you're the only one in the group who isn't a godparent.

So, you know,

maybe there's a...

Oh, my God.

Jennifer, you've given me both your names.

I can find you.

Don't say it if you don't mean it.

So hang on.

If she becomes a doctor, is she Dr.

Studd?

She's Dr.

Dr.

Dr.

Studd.

Montague.

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Ah, adorable.

I love the Danes.

I am worried about her baby, though, coming into the world in that way.

Why is that?

Why do you think

that?

I'm fully joking.

It sounds horrendous.

But so many people do it.

It's like an official thing.

People, honestly, I have friends who had a baby recently, and on the official documentation from their hospital, it said, use my dad wrote a porno to distract you from the pain.

What?

Yeah.

On an official document.

An official document.

The world has gone quite mad.

What a year it's been.

Right.

I think we need to do another call.

Yeah.

Hi, is that Cece?

Yes, hi.

It's Jamie, James, and Alice from My Dad Writer Porno.

Oh, very exciting.

Cece, how can we help you today?

It's so funny because I found the podcast, like I said in my DM, I'm asexual, which is like a total, for me at least, is sex repulsion.

So how the hell do I find a podcast about quote-unquote sex?

But my friend introduced it to me when I was having a really rough time, and I have been in love with it ever since.

I mean, you guys, like last night, I was listening to the new episode.

I was literally laughing out loud in the kitchen, and my whole family was staring at me like I'm insane.

So, you define your asexuality as a sex repulsion.

So, yeah, how do you deal with that chapter to chapter?

Because it's hard enough at the best of times.

I think I at least know that I'm like, this isn't real, this isn't what people actually do.

I sure to God hope.

But it's horrifically disgusting.

And I think it kind of affirms that's definitely not where I want to go.

But then again, not Belinda's doing anything real.

Where are you right now, by the way, Cece?

I am in my car outside of my preschool because I don't think they need to hear that I'm talking about a sex podcast.

Outside your pre, you're a preschool teacher?

Yes.

Oh, wow.

Keep your voice down.

Exactly.

I hope the car is parked like a mile from the school.

yes i'm very very far away because these kids they don't need early trauma no seriously i feel as though we're constantly thinking that we need to enlighten rocky and then he surprises us with some forward thinking for a man of his age or just including something that we've genuinely never heard of and he may well have made up or might actually be a sex act so who knows but i i wonder if asexuality is like something that he might explore sensitively we just don't know he's such a loose canon i would love it because isn't there a bit really early in the books where he said, I think it might be even chapter one when he says about Bill from HR, Bill won't have sex with you and never will.

Do you remember he said that?

True,

maybe Bill is asexual.

Oh, we got we got the ace rep.

There you go.

I'm so sorry that your character that represents is Bill from HR.

I mean, yeah, I couldn't have really gotten a worse one, but I'll make him.

So, Bill from HR could well be

an asexual character.

Cool.

God, so progressive, Dad.

Look at you.

You're representing everyone, and I love it.

Shall we dial again?

Dial again.

Dial again.

Dial again.

Hello.

Hi, is that Benjamin?

Yes, hello.

Hi, did you recently call an insurance company about a quote?

No, I didn't.

Oh, this is Alice, James, and Jamie from My Dad Wrote A Porno, so that doesn't really matter.

Oh, good to see me.

Gotcha.

Oh, I would have thought that I would have recognised you.

Now, Benjamin, I believe you have a story for us.

I do, yeah.

Let's see.

I think I was 17, I think, because I was being taught by my philosophy teacher who, his girlfriend's dad, I played his living lover in a play that went to the Cheshire One Eck Festival.

Oh, no!

So, Cheshire One Act Festival, which is obviously one of the many, many

performances Jamie did when he was a child.

You played what, Mr.

Toad?

I've played many roles, James.

We have treaded the boards together, Benjamin, you and I.

This is fantastic.

I was Toad of Toad Hall.

I was the Mad Hatter in Alice in Wonderland there.

I did many things.

I think I know someone who did the costuming for the Mad Hatter production.

Really?

Alice in Wonderland, of course.

So you know someone that dressed Jamie possibly for one of the productions?

And Lord knows what his demands were about the costume.

Oh, God, yeah.

Unfortunately, I regret to inform you, I never knew Vicki Lane.

May she rest in peace, potentially.

Who was that man with the...

Mike.

Mike with the cane.

Mike with the cane, Vicki Lane, Val Harris.

These are all my contemporaries.

Were they all involved with the Cheshire One Act Festival?

Well, we all went to, so basically, Alice, how it works is

what have you started, Benjamin?

Ben, hang up, you'll be here all night.

But basically, what happens is all the regional, we don't like to say regional, but the regional theatres would run would have put on.

We don't like to say regional, like it's got together with all the regional theatres to ask.

Would put on their performances and then we, if you were selected, you would go to the Cheshire One Act Festival.

And that's like a big deal.

Obviously.

Can I just go back?

You said you knew the um a costume designer who might know Jamie?

Do we just a first name?

They didn't work within the theatre itself, they worked in a local theatre to me rather than that one specifically, but they did go and help out and stuff.

I can't remember their names now.

So they may have stitched one of Jamie's gussets.

Oh, certainly.

Yeah.

Well, it's interesting because our resident wardrobe mistress at the club theatre was a woman called Enid, and

she was actually too old to travel.

So

we couldn't take her with us on the minibus to the cheshire warnack festival so we had to be dressed by the people at the more night festival so it's probably true that i did get get in my costume by your friend poor enid i know enid she was so ratty honestly she would snap at you oh my god i'm not surprised though she's 100 years old is another wonderful name i'm just imagining her backstage doing the boning on a corset for you for when you're toe-to-toe to hall her wardrobe department was in the bowels of the theatre you have to go down loads of stairs it was like in the 30s i have to say if you're too old to travel you're probably too old to be a costume designer for god's sake working on an industrial sewing machine the poor woman too old to travel not a thing it's just not a phrase

too ill to travel um it's why i got involved um they needed someone who was young and spry to get them down all the ladders thank god you were there ben oh my god well this has been some extra insight um which we you know always welcome so thank you benjamin you've opened a pandora's box absolutely no problem

You can imagine a team of seamstresses from the local village making Jamie some ostentatious cape that he's insisted upon.

Pulling him in at the waist.

Honestly, winching him.

Some lovely corsetry at the back.

What are you talking about?

Also, you can imagine everybody else being like, yeah, more than happy wearing, you know, my black shorts and my black t-shirt that I've brought from home.

And Jamie bringing swatches of fabric that he's approved.

No, nothing was made specially.

That was the whole point of Enid, to just find you something from the bounds of a theatre.

I'm obsessed with Inid.

Don't even know how she got to the theatre if she was too old to travel.

And she lived in the theatre!

She lived in it.

She was down so many stairs.

She was born in the bowels.

She died in the bowels.

Too old to travel.

That is great.

Right.

Right, who's next?

Come on, YouTube.

Hello.

Hi, is that Daniela?

Speaking.

Hi, Daniela.

It's James, Jamie, and Alice from My Dad Rota Porno.

Oh, hi.

Oh, hi there.

Hi.

Hello.

How are you guys?

Good.

It sounds like you've got your business voice on today.

Yeah.

I'm actually just in a work meeting, but I'm like a lower level employee, so I don't need to be.

Yeah, sneak out the meeting.

It's fine.

It doesn't matter.

What do you do out of interest?

I'm a large animal veterinarian, but I also work as an epidemiologist, which I think people are a little bit more familiar with these days with COVID and everything.

Please go back to your meeting immediately.

The world needs you in that meeting Daniela neglecting important disease death no no I'm not I promise so you've nipped out how can we help you today so as I mentioned I am a large animal veterinarian and

I got introduced to your podcast actually through another vet but there was one particular instance

when Jim Sterling got a penis transplant as you may remember yes and in the area that I work in there's quite a few metonite farms I'm not sure if you're familiar with that.

Amish, is that Amish?

Yeah, they're very similar to Amish people.

So we have some Amish and some Mennonite, but they're all very old school.

They don't use electricity.

They like plow their fields with horse and carriage.

And they're all very traditional.

They wear the traditional clothing.

But anyways, I was listening to that episode and somehow when I arrived on the farm, I couldn't get my Bluetooth to turn off.

And the farmer came.

And the farmer came running up to my truck.

And you guys were all chanting, he's got a monster.

And I could not turn it off.

And the farmer was just staring at me with shock in his eyes.

And I was like, oh, oh, it's the radio.

It's the bellboard, number one.

Yeah, it was just so embarrassing.

I am so sorry.

Am I right in thinking we've reached every community on earth now?

Even those that don't want us.

I would do these every week.

They're so fun.

They're way more fun than just the three of us.

I normally hate talking on the phone, but this I will make an exception for.

It helps that they're all great, great people.

Like, what great characters?

Does it also help that we've been starved of human contact for everyone?

That's probably more accurate, yeah.

Well, this wasn't the first, and I don't think it will be the last.

It's really funny.

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