Footnotes: Samara Weaving

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Hello and welcome to my dad wrote a porno the footnotes.

Now we're four episodes into book six and we're still in Australia.

So we thought it was about time to get an expert on the pod.

So our first guest of this season is the award-winning Aussie actress and one of the busiest people in Hollywood right now.

The star of Ready or Not, Bill and Ted Face the Music, Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri, and the upcoming Snake Eyes, Nine Perfect Strangers in Babylon.

It's Samara Weaving, I think,

you guys.

When you emailed me, I was like, I don't know if they know what they're getting themselves into.

This is not like a normal guest.

This is a full fan.

What do you count as a full fan?

Just like, I know, I'm not like indifferent or like, oh, kind of remember, like, I know details, and I

thank God, Kian, that man who made the website, belinda.business.

He's amazing, isn't he?

Amazing.

Because I had so many questions

and I was like deep in his website.

So, so this is essentially meet and greet.

What this is, we're just like, hi, Samara, nice to meet you.

Do you want a picture?

Do you want an autograph?

Yes, please.

You guys have been with me for what six years now.

So, Samara, as Jamie said, we've got you on as our kind of Australia expert.

So, we just wanted to get your take on

Rocky's interpretation of Australia and how much he's got right, how much he's probably mostly got wrong.

Would you say it's an accurate representation of your homeland, basically?

Um, I mean, I love Rocky, and no disrespect, but there's not a lot of like Aussie references, it's it's about tourists in

so you're saying that the biggest TV show isn't dancing in the sky with superstars in Australia.

That isn't a thing.

I mean that is number one on the hits, I will say.

But then like Cosmo Macaroon was pretty spot on.

Like there I feel like there are some like morning show hosts that have that kind of like, oh here, sell your pots and your pans.

I love that he thinks the rocks are actually the rocks, like that there's big rocks and boulders there.

Oh, there's not.

No, no.

It's just a normal place of buildings.

I think they called it the rocks because, and this was super creative of them back in 1780 or whatever.

Some of the buildings were made out of sandstone and they were like, that's a rock.

We'll call it the rocks.

Brilliant.

Brilliant.

I think dad just heard his namesake and thought, rocks, rocky, great.

I can include them in the books.

Yes.

Have you done much traveling in and around your homeland?

Have you been to the scrub and dust?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So is that just the

desert?

You tell us, Sam.

You're from scrub and dust.

Because I assume that means like a desolate out-back town.

Out-back town with a lone shed with one doctor

and a radio.

I imagine it near Uluru.

Yeah.

Didn't they go by helicopter to Sydney or how did they?

Because it takes like 10 hours to get from

they got a jumbo?

He was flying in a jumbo jet, wasn't he?

And then they landed in the CBA on the pavement, I guess, just on the street.

Got it, got it.

Okay, so that that that pans out.

That checks out, yeah.

In the CBA, James.

That's what we call it, central business, CBD.

That's can't be asked.

Sorry, I always get the central business district and uh a lack of interest.

In the old CBA, in the old CBA.

The Pots and Pan Pacific Conference, does that happen every year?

It does now.

It does now.

It's really picking up.

Cosmo's been shouting it from his rooftops.

And, you know, I know that my accents are one of the worst things about the show.

And I have to say, I think the Australian accent's really difficult.

And because we've been in bloody Australia for so long, I was like trying to make a list of the amount of different characters that I've had to do with an accent.

Cosmo Macaroon, Cornelius Kettle, Dr.

Al, Trixie Forward, Jailman, and Quince.

That's a lot of people to give different sorts of accents to.

Well, I don't think, by the way, it's gotten a lot better, Jamie.

Like, the first one, I was like, ooh, okay.

But recently, I was like, oh, hello, that's yes, a fellow straight, like, pretty good, very good.

Really?

I think it's one of the hardest accents to do because there's like one million vowels.

Yeah.

Like, the word no is like, like, what is that?

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

No.

Bloody why.

It's really odd.

My dad has a theory that it's because the British live in,

there's not much sun there.

And then when we came over to Australia, we were all talking in a very British accent.

And then the sun made us squint.

So we started.

Oh my God.

That is a theory, though.

In America, they say that people in like the deep south talk a bit more slowly and drollly because of the heat.

That is a theory that people think that.

So maybe your dad's not wrong.

So maybe if we do English with a screwed up hot face, then it becomes a little bit auster.

Oh my God, it works.

It really works.

No.

It's absolutely.

There's no way that you can't do it.

Yeah.

Yeah, that really works.

Oh, my God.

You look great, Alice.

Thank you so much.

You look so hot there.

No, it's so, it's so hot.

It's so hot.

And actually, there's actually, actually, if I keep my face like this,

I can't, can't go back to my own accent, really.

Can I just say, I'm actually glad this is happening because I get so much hate from you two about you at my accent work.

And listen to you.

I think SW likes it.

That's all I'm saying.

I think she's impressed.

Pretty good.

Pretty, pretty good.

Pretty good tapping my face because I'm trying to hide my real feelings about this subject now.

You've got accents, aren't you, Samaro?

Your American's very good.

I work with a dialect coach.

Jamie, do you have a dialect coach?

I actually don't.

So if you could pass on their details about that.

That's so good.

That's even more impressive, though.

What, you think he's got a dialect coach in the room when he's reading?

I don't know.

It's his job.

Maybe he invested in himself, you know, some,

who knows?

Oh, Sam, we don't take it seriously enough.

That would be somebody who would definitely have an alias.

Oh, who's your dialect coach?

Oh, that's Rainbow Johannesburg.

I don't know if that's their real name please don't put my name to jamie's progression through accents um now enough about jamie samara tell us can i call you sam yes please call me sam samara's weird yeah so who is your favorite character in the books from all six books looking back over the years the duchess has such a great story arc yeah i agree with that actually she's grown a lot as a character well yeah because we meet her at the in the maze i think at the asses and donkeys trust asses and donkeys.

Is that what it is?

Asses and donkeys trust.

And you sort of think she's almost like a elderly bachelorette but then you find out she's married and then she's very kinky and then suddenly she's what MI6 the head of British intelligence?

Yeah.

Who knew?

Yeah, the overall head of overall.

Speaking of um

MI5, is it right that you think that one of your family members is a spy?

I think my dad's a spy.

That's a wild accusation.

Well, we grew up in different countries, but they were all part of the Commonwealth.

And he claims he was a business consultant.

And then

I have a friend who actually dated a spy and apparently they're everywhere.

Really?

And I, she was like, getting to know me, like, where'd you grow up?

And I told her, and she was like, oh, your dad's 100% a spy.

And then I asked him because he'd go on like business trips for a couple of days and then come back.

And like, I didn't think anything of it because I was a child.

But yeah, we went to, you know, like Singapore and Indonesia and Australia, like

very suspicious.

And very vague job titles.

Like, he worked for like a cigarette company or something

a pots and pans company

he knew a man named James Spooner

but when I ask him about it he like laughs it off and then comes he's like I can see why you'd think that and then gives this big story as to how he's not but then I hang up and I realize he hasn't answered the question.

Classic spy.

He actually denied it.

He just talks around the subject.

They teach you how to do that at spy school.

In fact, Jeremiah St.

Frost first probably taught him.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah.

How do you know about Jeremiah St.

Frost Frost?

That is crazy.

That does sound like your dad's a spy.

And I love that you've just outed him on a podcast.

Well done for that.

Well, he's like retired now.

So short, like, can't you talk about that?

Sure, sure.

He is.

Sam, you could be putting him in all sorts of danger.

Think of the things that he's seen.

This is a breach.

But what do you mean, there's spies everywhere?

Apparently, they're just like, your next-door neighbor's a spy.

There's a spy across the the street.

Well, specifically James's next-door neighbor.

In fact, James Cooper is an incredibly secretive man.

Oh my god, James, are you a spy?

James is a spy.

Did you go to boarding school?

No, no, no.

I went to a mixed comprehensive.

That's exactly what a spy would say.

No, I didn't go to boarding school.

But surely your mum would know if he was a spy.

No, she wouldn't.

She doesn't know what's going on.

Well, she's definitely not a spy, but

she couldn't spy in these books.

I don't know which is worse, outing your dad as a spy or outing your mum as an imbecile.

No, she's lost.

He has a PhD, but you know, we'll be having a conversation.

And she's like, look at that bridge.

And you're like, what?

Are we?

Okay.

Mum, is that a spy?

That potpourri is delicious.

Mum, is that a spy?

Look at that bridge.

I think it's a technique.

She's in on it.

Oh, my God.

It's solved.

We sold it for you.

Speaking of your mother, haven't you got, you two had a kind of of a weird porn connection at one point?

I was reading something that you, well, you did an audition.

Yes.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh,

man, alive.

That was terrible.

Yeah.

We have a house in the south coast in

Maruya, Australia.

Oh, nice.

And there's not like a big creative studios or anything.

There's no casting directors that live there.

So I got an audition for 50 Shades of Grey.

This is like 10 years ago or something.

be the to be the lead yeah oh okay and so i was in the middle of nowhere and none of my friends were around and it was just

me mom and dad and i they were like the deadline is you've got two days so you've got to get this done and i tried doing it like recording the other person's lines on my phone and trying to match the timing but it just wasn't working and i was like oh my god okay okay okay and the scenes were like gossiping about their sex lives filthy so i asked my mom i was like mom can you just like just don't don't don't look at me just don't look at me just read it

but then she kept like staring at me and she was like what are you doing with your face like what's you're like i'm being sexy mother like i'm i'm a mam acting she was like you don't need that much lipstick or you know so i like was like oh no no no hey dad um oh no what could you dad hey dad can you pause spying for a sec can you just pause spying just for one minute i just need your help and i said the same i was like just don't look at me just say the line like this is gonna i'm gonna need so much therapy for this but he got so into it he was

because he's a spy he's a spy he was like tell me everything

and i was oh he was like was he any good just like getting so like he became like

like sexy little lady character

year old man did he get the part and you didn't?

Yes.

He plays the cute best friend.

Yeah, he's the best friend.

Yeah, no, I did not get that role.

Well, so you just thank your lucky stars there, Sam, that it was just dialogue.

There was no, there was no activity.

Goodness.

I'd just say, look, thanks for the opportunity.

But

I'd rather not have a career than read this with my father.

Thank you.

So tell us, where do you listen and why do you listen?

Spill the beans, Bella.

I was actually flying back to LA for something and I made the mistake of listening to it in the airport.

And I looked like an absolute lunatic because I was crying and laughing, like alone.

Like I couldn't pretend to be like, oh, that's funny, Jimmy.

Oh, Jimmy.

You're one of those crazy people who is just laughing at porn dementedly on your own with your headphones on, rocking from side to side.

A bit like Dr.

Robbins.

Actually, like Dr.

Robbins just shuffling around, controlling my laughter.

And it happens all the time.

Like, I'm insane.

I never learn.

I'll listen to it in Uber's and just walking around set people.

Like, what are you laughing at?

Like, it's fine.

You know what?

This is really embarrassing.

But in preparation for this, I put off doing any of my script work and took notes.

Oh,

oh, wow.

Oh, my God.

Yes.

Sam, this is impressive.

I told you I'm a fan.

Show us.

Show us your notepad.

It was 4 a.m.

on set.

Oh, there's drawings and everything.

Oh, wow.

This is the knife that propels.

Oh, the onion knife.

The cry no more knife.

Let's see your interpretation.

It says cry no more.

And then it says, it's 4 a.m.

I've lost the plot.

You drew that up 4 a.m., a cry no more onion knife.

I'd had so many energy drinks and they were like, you've got an hour downtime.

So I was just like pacing in my room and then thought, oh, I'll do some, my dad wrote a porno homework and it's not useful at all.

That's a very good drawing though.

You've actually captured what I think is quite a difficult mechanism for the crynomore knife.

Amy, have you seen like any artwork ever?

This is not a good drawing.

It doesn't even look like a knife.

It looks like a sieve.

Is it a bollock?

This is the air coming out, propelling the temperature.

Yeah, right, yeah, that blows the tears away.

I esteemed electric, so I put a plug.

You've got a plug on it.

I think it would be like wireless so that you could get charging.

It's plugged into the wall.

Upside down, it's Giselle after a good bounce.

Oh!

I love that Belinda gets like her mind blown by the fact that the...

radio is waterproof, but then when it turns on like an actual gadget, she's like, oh yeah, no problem.

so true

oh she's such a simple simple woman such a confusing simple woman the mundane just blows her mind she's like it's waterproof but then like james spooner will have like a bracelet that can like shoot lasers and cut dresses off people and like that's fine it doesn't button my eyes what of it don't worry about her but in a in the best way i'm confused like i love rocky so much because he makes my brain really think about things that i shouldn't be do you know what these books i mean i thought they made no sense before but actually they are batshit bananas like what is going on no but they're insane in the most beautiful way

it's like lazy writing but so creative and like specific at the same time which is what makes it yeah it's incredibly detailed yet incredibly slapdash i think it takes a creative brain to do that though

I wonder if, you know, because you've read so many scripts in your time, you're probably coming at this from a professional angle.

And of course, Rocky is a professional, and we're but amateurs.

So I'm wondering if you see in this real potential for adaptation.

Oh, 100%.

I know someone mentioned that doing like a drunk history version, but I think we should do it.

We.

I'll be involved.

Come on.

I think this is a pitch for you to do it like a very dark, like in Rocky's vision.

Like

he takes it very seriously.

So get like Jean-Marc Valley directing.

Make it really tonally dark.

Interesting.

I think the comedy will be bigger because of it, because you won't expect.

it to take that turn.

I love it.

I'm wondering if this is the sort of material that kind of needs a big budget for it to sing.

And I'm thinking, am I right in thinking you're working with Brad Pitt soon?

He's a producer.

You know, he's got plan B.

Like, is you know, is this the kind of thing?

I mean, it would be great if he could just take it onto the slate.

Well, in a way, we're kind of giving him a gift.

When I say it'd be great, I mean, it'd be great for him.

He should be so lucky.

I will.

Could you mention it?

Could you just pass it along to him?

I mention it to everyone I know, James.

So, okay, great, great, great.

And Brad Pitt is known for like watching and listening to everything.

So he's probably listened to you guys.

Stop it.

I don't know if we should just give it to him on a plate, though, because this would be a real game changer for him.

Yeah, I think we should have a

bidding war.

Well, I mean, maybe we should see some of his work.

Does he have a showreel?

I don't know.

You know, Margo has a production company, you know.

So.

Oh, my God.

Oh, that's true.

Lucky chap.

Yeah.

I mean, we'll take your guidance on this because this is your world.

But yeah, if there's people that you like to work with, Margo Robbie, I've heard she's done good stuff.

Brad Pitt, I mean, he's got a bit of experience.

So if there's somebody that you're like, they'd probably be able to handle it.

Then, you know, we'll let them have a look.

but you're gonna get so much money for this, like

thanks, no, and you've got so many set pieces and like, you know, leather rooms and rocks that turn into swimming pools, and then carpets and glass weapons.

The production design is a huge budget in itself, yeah.

And all those locations, it is like a Bond movie, like that, like they're always in a different place.

I mean, it's just so epic, there's just such a kind of there's a scale to the world, yes, like avatar, you know.

Yes.

That made a few Bob.

Okay, so if we're doing this, you obviously have to be in it.

Well, I think if I was to play someone.

Yeah, who do you want to be?

Come on.

Let's cut to the chase.

This probably isn't a popular opinion, but I feel like Des Martin has such a sad

backstory.

I think I could maybe bring something

interesting.

Like he has a divorce in 20 days and slobbering on boobs and Belinda doesn't care.

Like he's just cast aside.

Do you think it's Oscarbait?

Because you know it's so emotional.

I think that's why I'm going for Des.

Des Martin, curveball.

And a bit like that Bob Dylan film where lots of different people played Bob Dylan.

Yes.

You know, you could,

you know, the way Kate Blanchett, you know, you know, brought her interpretation.

You're not necessarily, no offense, the natural casting for Des Martin, but I can see it.

I can see it.

I look at you.

I think Des.

I think Dribbly.

I think if not Dribbly enough, then you could bring it.

You know, I feel like you would learn how to be more Dribbly.

Can you get a Dribble coach?

He's just crying all the time.

So obviously, Belinda now has a tattoo in the book on her leg, I think.

Yeah.

I read that you have tattoos in such places as well.

I have a Deathly Hallows tattoo.

And I did a film with Daniel Radcliffe.

And we would...

We had to do stunt training for like three or four weeks.

And I wore really long socks for ages because I was trying to, you know, just be cool.

And then one day I forgot, and he said, Is that what I think it is?

And

I got so defensive.

I like snapped at him.

I was like, It's not about you.

I had that from the books.

Nothing to do with the movies.

From the books, not the films.

Punch me in the face.

Bastard.

Come on.

I acted more off-screen than on.

Could we ever ever tempt you to get a Belinda Blink tattoo?

Maybe the three B's or a...

Sure.

But then will you ever talk to me again?

Well, if we actively encouraged it, I think that's fine.

If we like made you get a tattoo, I think that's fine.

What a cruel twist.

Get it.

Get it.

And then you get it.

And we're like, you're such a loser.

Bye.

See you later.

So, Sam, do you have anything else on your pad there?

Bible, Zeus.

cult.

Yeah, I was not okay writing these down.

No, no, no.

I think I know what you're going for there.

And it's something that I'm interested in.

Well, religion.

Because I think I brought this up on a recent episode.

Like, is there some biblical references?

But also, like, what is Belinda's religion?

Like, because she talks a lot about Thor and

the Norse gods, but then she went to heaven and she God nodded at her.

She said, sorry, God.

She said, sorry, God, exactly.

Like, I'm just wondering where her head's at as far as spirituality.

Well, also, because in the maze, they were drawing all those weird spirals.

And yes.

Maybe there's something.

I mean, it's definitely science fiction, these books, but maybe there's also some sort of magical fantasy element.

That's such a good point.

I'd forgotten about those weird symbols that Peter Rouse put on her in the mud.

Maybe they're

to do with her religion.

Maybe.

Maybe she's more.

I'm like, I don't care.

No, no, I'm trying to downplay how much of a geek I am about this show.

Please don't downplay it.

This is the forum.

Because I'm obsessed.

Does that mean you've listened through more than once?

100%.

It's like if I'm in a bad mood or sad,

I'll listen to you guys and immediately I'm like, oh, I'm fine again.

Oh, man.

That's nice and weird.

It's so weird.

I did warn you at the beginning that I'm not just like an indifferent human being who's like, oh, this will be a fun little podcast.

Like, what are you guys up to?

I know everything.

I didn't believe you, but now I do.

That's the best Kai.

There's no point getting people on if they don't know the show.

So it's great.

We love it.

We love geeking out about the show with people.

That's our favorite thing to do.

It's what we do every week.

I hope you've enjoyed geeking out with us.

It's been the highlight of my existence.

So,

no, Sam, it's been so, so great having you.

Thank you so much for coming on my Dad Road Porno.

Well, thank you so much.

I can tick this off my bucket list.

And now I'll stalk you in London.

We have had a lot of laughs today.

Interception.

Interception.

Interception.