Footnotes: G'day Belinda!

Tyler Reddick here from 2311 Racing.

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G'day and welcome to my dad's road to Fordo, the footnotes.

I beg your pardon.

G'day.

Yes, I did notice that.

We're now in Australia in Belinda Blink 5.

So in honour of that, we've all gone away and done a bit of research about Australia, right?

We've immersed ourselves in the culture.

Indeed, I'm going to start off with a little kind of quick fire round on slang.

Aussie slang, okay?

You have to know the language.

Yeah.

And selfishly, this will be very useful for us when we go to Australia very soon.

Exactly, exactly.

So we can drop some of these in and sound a bit local.

How's your Aussie accent?

I think mine's quite good.

I'm not sure if I'm like necessarily getting the nuance of like where people are from.

It's very deny manaic.

Oh, is it?

Do you think you're from like Milden?

I feel like i'm more of a plommy uh sydney girl

my god have you been in an accident or like why why do you speak like that no i can normally do a good australian accent can you i don't know what

happened to it right now sounds like one of my accents oh my god this is so embarrassing oh my god it's such a bogan i got a lot of

i got into a lot of trouble on on twitter again with my accent people said it sounded more like a kiwi yeah very

african uh so it's not as easy as as you think.

I think any of the accents that we do for this footnotes have to be completely disregarded.

None of them are going to be authentic.

I don't know what you mean.

I literally don't know what's wrong with you.

What is going on?

Okay, so I'm going to give you the slang, and you have to tell me what it is.

Okay, fine.

James has already given us one there with Bogan, so that's sort of like, that's derogatory, isn't it?

It's not too rude, is it?

I think you can use it jokingly, right?

Yeah.

It's kind of like their equivalent of rednecks, right?

That's what I think it is.

A bogan?

Well, that's what it says here.

oh it's got it written down i should do really well at this because i lived in australia for a while oh you did you're essentially a local um okay so first one

what is an ankle buyer ding uh like a child ding a short person a child oh shit short person at the ankle well a child's not ankle height james What child have you seen that's ankle height?

Don't look at me like that.

What is a root ret a root ret.

Oh, now root means to shag.

So ding.

Oh, ding.

Root means to shag.

Yes, it does.

So I'm going to say, like, somebody promiscuous.

Someone who enjoys sex, maybe a little too much.

Oh, well done.

Ding, ding, ding.

Not possible to enjoy sex a little bit too much, as we know from these books, but anyway.

Very good, Alice.

Thank you.

What is a senga?

Sting.

I was going to get the spelling.

Well, I don't need it.

Sandwich.

It is a sandwich.

Sandwich.

Well done.

How was that laughed?

Okay what does

what does whoop whoop mean?

Thing.

Whoop whoop.

Do you know all of these Ellis?

I mean I don't know how many times I have to tell you I did use them.

This seems like a very unfair game.

Yay.

Whoop whoop.

No, it doesn't mean that at all.

Ah, well you've had your ding, sorry.

It doesn't mean that at all.

Can you say it again, please?

A whoop whoop whoop whoop.

Should we go for a whoop whoop-woop?

Is it like a quick drink?

It is not a quick drink.

Okay.

Is it a shag?

It's not a shag either.

It's the middle of nowhere.

So you'd say, he lives there in whoop whoop.

Allegedly, according to this.

I mean, this is dubious.

What website are you on?

What does crook mean?

Ding.

Ding.

Alice.

It's...

A criminal.

It is a criminal, but that's not what they use as their slang.

Crook.

Yeah, crook.

Can I have a clue?

No, that's not how the game works.

No, because they're easy enough.

I don't think clues are needed.

You're a crook.

Why are you Irish now?

Would you call someone?

Can I have that clue?

Would you call someone?

Yeah.

Don't let them charm you into clues.

No, next.

I'll pass.

I don't know.

It's being ill or angry.

And so the example is: don't go crook on me for getting crook.

Wow, very clear.

Thank you.

Rocky has literally written this list, hasn't he?

What's a shark biscuit?

Ding.

Yeah, Alice.

A thigh.

Oh my gosh, it's not a thigh.

What are you thinking?

Because a shark would bite into a bunch of people.

I'll bite it and love it.

A shark biscuit?

What?

Is it like a fishy food?

Is it a fishy food?

No, no.

Oh, ding.

Alice.

Surfboard.

No.

Oh, that's a good one.

It's kids at the beach.

Oh, that's dark.

Yeah.

Aussies are dark, aren't they

they're dark and they're filthy yeah do you remember last time we went to australia together oh my god guys

what's an iski iski oh ding

a cool box yes very good

this isn't fair this isn't fair i love this and i think it's very fair i forgot that james is really competitive he's horrific to do games with um the booze bass what's the booze bass um is that when you are sorry ding if you're sorry ding.

Is that when you're drunk?

You're on the booze bus.

No.

I do know this.

Ding.

Is it the night bus?

No, it's not the night bus.

It's the police vehicle.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

That basically tracks down drunks in the street.

And drunk drivers.

Oh, my God.

I can't drive, you see, so actually, that's not really in my purview or remit.

Have you ever been to Australia?

I actually used to live there.

No, I haven't mentioned it.

Cool.

Alright, so what's a larykin?

Ding.

Is it?

James, calm down.

Is it?

So sorry, were you ready to answer when you dinged?

Yeah, you have to actually have an answer ready when you ding.

Ding.

Yeah.

Is it a bird?

Nope.

James.

Like a laric.

Do they abbreviate it a larry?

James, that's not how quizzes work.

Just come on, give me an answer.

A larikin.

Is it a drink?

Is it a type of drink?

It is not a drink.

For God's sake, James, no.

A larikin is someone who's always up for a laugh and a bit of a harmless prankster.

It's Rocky.

Oh, it's Rocky and Bella.

Yeah, both.

Oh, this is a good one that's actually fitting for the books um what's a goon

ding

an idiot no ding alice

come on you can't have a go at jane so we're pausing no i'm sorry you can't double ding why

because that's the rules oh great i can't wait to hear your answer what's yours ding yeah is it like a sexy guy or a girl no it's not it's not alice your one will go vagina no it's the best invention ever produced by mankind that's the definition so you say, oh, that's a goon.

So the example is a cheap boxed wine

will inevitably become an integral part of your Australian backpacking experience.

That's a goon.

Or like the Trioxy Brillo range.

It's a goon.

That's a goon.

Yeah, that actually is a goon, to be honest.

Okay, last one.

We get it.

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What is crack the shits?

Ding.

Yeah.

Do jokes, just like have bants.

No.

Ding.

Is it to like have a deep conversation, like Like to put the world to rights?

No, surely not.

Absolutely not.

No, it is to have an argument and be angry at somebody or something.

Give me it in a sentence.

We just cracked the shits.

There you go.

Do you know what?

That was actually better than I thought.

But yeah, Alice, you are absolutely the winner.

Congratulations.

I did used to live there.

And we know.

And as your prize, you get to go next in your

amazing Australian education.

Alice Levine.

Well, thank you.

Oh, you're welcome.

For the accolades

and for the title of The Best Person.

Get on with it.

On the podcast.

I've decided to frame my research around an area that you actually touched on that's quite key in the books.

So I thought we might need to know about.

Great.

And that is inventions in Australia and the biggest inventions that have come out of Australia because I don't want Rocky to be able to claim any of this for his own.

Okay.

Okay, so using just common sense, what inventions do you think might have come out of Australia?

The didgeridoo.

Sure, I'm sure that's true.

I mean, I wouldn't say it's one of the biggest exports.

It's an invention, is it?

Biggest exports.

I mean, are they using it elsewhere?

The boomerang.

Again, I'm not seeing that being used in a business setting.

Toy koala bear.

Great.

Guys, I think you're not thinking big enough.

Okay, hang on.

So Australia.

So air conditioning.

Great thinking.

The refrigerators on there.

Oh, a fridge.

Yeah.

Invented the fridge.

Invented the fridge.

Some other stuff they invented in Australia that we should thank them for.

The inflatable aeroplane escape slide.

Oh!

Please remove all sharp-heeled shoes, fame.

Absolutely of that fame.

Made famous, of course, by airplane safety videos.

Made famous also by loving that they're there, but never having used one.

Well, thank God.

And Alice, sometimes they're used as rafts.

Oh, very much so.

I watch the safety videos.

I'm that geek.

Google Maps.

No.

Yes.

But how?

But Google's an American company now.

Some Danish brothers, Lars and Jens, Rasmussen.

I don't know if I'm saying it.

So Danish people.

Some Danish people.

But developed it in Australia, in Sydney, in the early 2000s.

Oh, hang on.

And that's what that movie Lion's about, right?

With Death Patel.

He finds his real family from India using Google Maps, and he's in Australia.

Sure.

It doesn't go into that much detail on Alison.

My article says, yes, that's correct.

Some stuff less impressive, because Google Maps, I use that at least 30 times a day.

That's amazing.

Plastic spectacle lenses.

Oh,

I think they had to bulk up the list.

Permanent crease clothing.

I mean, it's the technology that's allowed for fashion innovations such as permanently pleated skirts.

Thank God for Australia.

And to round it off, the black box flight recorder, big one.

Oh, that is big, yeah.

I love planes.

Wi-Fi.

What?

I know.

And the notebook.

The film or the actual baby.

It's not made clear on the list.

I've also just pulled together some facts which will amaze and astound you.

Will they?

First of all, 28% of the population of Australia admits to having done a threesome at least once.

Really?

Is that for real?

That's a massive chunk.

How many?

Nearly a third, 28%.

I'm not surprised.

Yeah, I'm not surprised either.

They're brilliant.

They love it.

They love it.

Australia, 20 million people.

150 million sheep.

Oh, really?

And there's more kangaroos than people as well.

Is there?

Pretty sure.

Maybe not.

He He looks less convinced by the second.

Alice, I've got more inventions for you as well.

I find that hard to believe because that was a comprehensive list.

The ultrasound.

That's a big one, isn't it?

Yeah.

Vegemite.

Well, obviously, it only is there.

Delicious.

Not a fan.

Football.

No.

They don't even play it, do they, there, that much?

It says on this

reputable list.

It says on this unsubstantiated list.

Football, all right?

But then why do they have one called Aussie Rules?

Why wouldn't they just be like

prepaid postage.

Oh my god, we're not getting into another round of the inventions.

This can't be the jewels in their crown.

Did you know the Great Barrier Reef has a mailbox?

Doesn't it?

That's cute.

Yeah, if you're willing to take a ferry out there, you can send a postcard to your family and get the exclusive stamp.

Little fun tourist activity for people to do.

I bet it costs an absolute bomb.

What's the point?

What's the point?

What's the point of the postcard?

I mean, I sometimes post them when I get home if I've forgotten.

I mean, that really shouldn't be.

You honestly send them.

Sometimes, yeah.

I mean, clearly not to YouTube, but yeah.

Yeah.

What do you write on them?

You're just smug, aren't you?

You're just like, oh, lovely time.

I don't like how the postman can read it.

Well, what are you writing on it?

Well, I don't know.

It's just a huge number.

Just have some lovely sex.

Oh, got a

urinary tract infection.

Like, what are you going to jot down?

It's the principle of the thing.

If you visit one new beach in Australia every day, it would take you over 27 years to see them all.

Wow.

What?

I don't really understand.

It's 27 times 365.

Yeah.

Which is, of course.

428.

Oh, Australia very progressive.

It was the second country in the world to give women the right to vote in 1902.

Too little.

I mean, it's a great fact, but it would be a better fact if they were the first.

I mean, sure, a lot of places can claim they're the second at something.

Australia is home to the longest fence in the world.

Well, now you're talking.

I know what that is.

It's the dingo fence.

Yes, it is, to keep dingoes away from further land.

Yeah.

How long is it?

Oh, I don't know.

5,614 kilometres.

I feel like the next longest fence would be like four meters.

I feel like they didn't need to make it that long.

Jamie, I like this one.

There's 60 designated wine regions in Australia producing 1.35 trillion bottles of wine every year.

Imagine that.

All the Chardonnay.

Well, that's what I'm basically going to be doing when I'm over there, just so you know.

Well, you drank half of that on your last visit.

Yeah, on stage in one night.

Talking about didgeridos earlier, apparently they're a great stress reliever.

They reduce snoring and they improve circulation.

And it's sometimes...

Sorry, it reduces snoring.

Reduces snoring.

Would you have to sleep with it over your schnauz?

Reduces snoring.

That wakes everybody else up in the house.

That makes the noise of a didgeridoo.

Yeah, it just converts the snore sound into a didgeridoo sound.

Which, let's be honest, is sort of similar.

You've not really explained that, James.

How's it improving your snore situation?

It doesn't say, it just says it does.

Well, I guess if you sleep with a didgeridoo in your bed, you're not going to get much sleep, so you probably won't snore.

The largest Greek population outside of Greece in the world is in Melbourne.

Can I finish my fat?

Well, it is.

She lived there.

I did used to live there.

So incredible, incredible Greek food in Melbourne.

She drowned in olives.

They eat kangaroo.

It's a low-fat red meat considered to be a healthy alternative to beef and lamb.

It's very lean.

Shut up.

All right, clever clogs.

How many languages do they speak in Australia?

Klogs.

I've not heard that since the fucking playground.

Come on.

How many languages do they speak in Australia?

27.

Over 200.

Over, let me finish.

27 times 10 minus 70.

Thanks.

Including how many different indigenous languages?

40.

45.

That's a good guess.

Okay, I think that we're pretty much set for our trip now.

Are you in?

Certainly for Belinda Pliny 5, because Dad won't have done any of this research.

But I feel like this whole episode has just been a chance for Alice to be smug.

Yeah.

It's been one of my favourites that we've done.

We've had five years of that.

You'd be nothing without me.

You're welcome, you're welcome.

And Australia, you're welcome.

Yeah.

How'd you say goodbye in Australia?

Bye.

Catch you later.

Catch you later.

Catch you later.

We're all just saying goodbyes in an Australian accent.

All right, fine.

Catch you later.

Catch you later.

Fair dincum.

We get it.

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