S1E2 - 'The Leather Room' REMASTERED

Speaker 1 Hi, folks. It's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman.

Speaker 5 Whole Foods Market is your holiday headquarters with everything you need, whether you're a guest or hosting the big dinner, with show-stopping centerpiece means like bone-in spiral cut ham or bone-in rib roast or even king crab.

Speaker 6 And if you want to take a few shortcuts, no one is looking after all, try the heat-neat sides from the prepared foods department.

Speaker 11 Shop for everything you need at Whole Foods Market, your holiday headquarters.

Speaker 12 Grief doesn't keep a calendar. Anxiety doesn't clock out after five.
Depression doesn't care if it's your busy season. But support can still fit into your life.

Speaker 12 With Grow, you can find a therapist who meets you where you are. They connect you with thousands of independent licensed therapists across the U.S.
offering both virtual and in-person sessions.

Speaker 12 You can search by insurance, provider specialty, treatment methods, and more to find a therapist who works for you. And if it's not the right fit, switching is easy.

Speaker 12 There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments. You just pay per session.
Find therapy on your time, evenings, weekends, and cancel up to 24 hours in advance at no cost.

Speaker 12 Whatever challenges you're facing, Grow Therapy is here to help. Sessions average about $21 with insurance and some pay as little as $0 depending on their plan.

Speaker 12 Visit growtherapy.com/slash ACAST today to get started. That's growtherapy.com/slash a cast.
Growtherapy.com/slash a cast. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan.

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Speaker 13 Check out Zinn.com slash find to find Zin at a store near you.

Speaker 13 Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

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Speaker 18 The following podcast contains adult themes, sexual content, and strong language. Basically, all the good stuff.

Speaker 18 Jamie, why are we here?

Speaker 19 We're here because my dad's written a porno.

Speaker 20 Your dad's written a porno.

Speaker 19 Erotic literature. Why?

Speaker 18 Previously, oh, my dad wrote a porno.

Speaker 20 I don't know how I'd feel if my dad wrote porn.

Speaker 19 I think it's a bit of fun, isn't it? For a 60-year-old man to just write about porn.

Speaker 18 So, the 60-year-old man in question is your dad. Yeah.
We will be referring to him by his pen name.

Speaker 19 His pen name is Rocky Flintstone.

Speaker 19 Belinda blinked. It wasn't a dream.
The job interviewer had just asked her to remove her jacket and silk blouse.

Speaker 19 Underneath, she was wearing a skimpy black thong and sexy black stockings, which she didn't apologise for.

Speaker 18 The number of times I've felt the need to apologise, and I just haven't, about my skimpy underwear.

Speaker 19 Belinda was now feeling exposed. With only a bra and thong left, she thought total nakedness was not far away.

Speaker 19 And then what?

Speaker 19 And then what? Her skin?

Speaker 19 Hi, guys. Thanks for coming back and doing chapter two with me of My Dad Wrote a Porno.
Just in case you're new to the podcast, my dad has written a porno or an erotic novella called Belinda Blinked.

Speaker 19 And we are going to be reading it together and critiquing it as we go. So today is chapter two.

Speaker 19 James, thanks for coming back and doing this. It didn't scare you off from the first chapter.
Good to know.

Speaker 20 Jamie, I wouldn't miss it for the world.

Speaker 19 Alice, how are you feeling? Are you prepared?

Speaker 18 I mean, I would miss it for many things, but it just happened that tonight was quite free.

Speaker 19 You love it, really.

Speaker 18 I love it. I love it.
I spend a lot of my time talking about this book. Um, I am evangelical about it.
From chapter one, unlike many books, I was drawn into a level of slight obsession.

Speaker 18 And I haven't read a book since a proxy nine.

Speaker 19 To kill a mockingbird, then

Speaker 18 that's my syllabus.

Speaker 19 That's your reading history.

Speaker 20 This will be on the GCSE syllabus before we know it.

Speaker 19 And have you, either have you bought the book yet? Or are you kind of waiting and experiencing each chapter as we go on this podcast?

Speaker 18 Oh, yeah, I don't want the temptation of reading it myself.

Speaker 20 Okay, good. Yeah, reading along, baby.

Speaker 19 I don't want to spoil it. Also, it's like $1.99, Jamie.
That's true. I know.
It's a bargain.

Speaker 18 We're not even joking. It is available.

Speaker 18 If you do want to literally read along like a kind of Disney sing-along, you should just Google Belinda Blinked. Just do that and it will pop up rather like Belinda's Breasts in chapter one.

Speaker 20 Unsurprisingly it will be top of the Google search.

Speaker 18 So just to establish, last time we read chapter one, what we now know is that we have this incredible protagonist, Belinda. She's had a job interview.

Speaker 18 She's got the sales job of her dreams and she's done that by basically stripping off and nodding for what seemed like an hour to an hour and a half.

Speaker 19 And blinking, obviously.

Speaker 18 She blinked.

Speaker 19 And having lesbian sex with a receptionist.

Speaker 18 She did have a little fumble in the dark with Giselle.

Speaker 19 But not with Tony yet. So I think that may be about to happen.
Who knows?

Speaker 18 It was some good, old-fashioned, naked fun. Yeah.

Speaker 19 It was very PG-13.

Speaker 20 I wouldn't take my 13-year-old to see the film of it.

Speaker 19 I was going to say, don't ever become a father like your father.

Speaker 18 Okay, so today we're going to read chapter two.

Speaker 19 Yes.

Speaker 18 We're going to find out loads more about Belinda and about her life in her new job, we presume, because at the end of chapter one, she got the job.

Speaker 19 Hopefully we're going to feel like we're going to know her a bit better after chapter two. I think that's what we can hope for.

Speaker 18 I mean, without further ado, should we delve into chapter two? It's what everyone wants.

Speaker 19 Are we ready? What's it called? Chapter two is called The Leather Room.

Speaker 20 I think it's going to be a sex room. Let's face it.

Speaker 18 I mean, I don't think it's just leather because it's cheap and durable.

Speaker 19 I'm so excited. Okay, so Belinda blinked chapter two: The Leather Room.

Speaker 19 Three weeks later, Belinda had settled into most of the administration parts of the job, but was still to get to grips with the large customer base and her new sales force.

Speaker 19 It was a typical, wet, dismal Thursday afternoon at the office, and tomorrow, Friday, was her first regional sales meeting where she would discuss sales with her four regional managers.

Speaker 18 Just to check

Speaker 18 wet day weather-wise, or she's wet? Because it's Belinda, you have to ask.

Speaker 19 I like the clarification that Friday is the day after Thursday.

Speaker 18 Do you know what? Sometimes you've got to get the basics in there.

Speaker 19 I mean, people were complaining that chapter one was light on the facts. So, you know, we've got a lot of exposition here.

Speaker 20 I was going to say, it's very admin-y at the top of the chapter. It doesn't go straight into it like before.

Speaker 18 Yeah, by this point last time, she was absolutely bone-naked.

Speaker 19 The town hall clock had just chimed three when Giselle called her to Tony's office.

Speaker 20 Who checks the time by the town hall clock?

Speaker 18 And also, she works for a major conglomerate. In what mini French town is she actually based?

Speaker 20 Belinda checked the sundial.

Speaker 19 Afternoon Belinda said Tony. There's a very senior company event on Sunday at our chairman's country house, barbecue and all that.
Wear tennis gear. Very casual.
No, and I repeat, no undergarments.

Speaker 19 Thongs or a bra.

Speaker 18 I love that he's ditched brazier from chapter one.

Speaker 19 He's like, now we're down to bra.

Speaker 18 Also, very casual. You just said tennis gear, which to me is quite formal.

Speaker 20 That's a very specific dress code.

Speaker 18 But no bras. So she's going to be plunging all over the shop.

Speaker 20 If she's actually going to be playing tennis, I fear for her eyes.

Speaker 19 Belinda looked up, now intrigued. Tony smiled and said, You'll understand when you get there.

Speaker 20 Sorry, I think we all understand what's going to happen when she's in the house.

Speaker 18 There's no ambiguity there. Don't wear pants and a bra.
Dress as a tennis girl. I know what's going to happen.

Speaker 19 I'll get Giselle to book you a room for Sunday night at the local hotel. It's called the Horse and Jockey.
Okay.

Speaker 19 It's probably best if you check in before you get to the old man's place. Belinda nodded.
I can certainly rearrange my shopping trip to Saturday. Oh, and I'll not bother purchasing any thongs or bras.

Speaker 20 Because she wears them for a day and then chucks them in the bin.

Speaker 18 She's doing a big shop. She's off to Asda.

Speaker 19 She smiled sweetly and Tony laughed. Good.
Go through to my leather room whilst I get Giselle.

Speaker 18 Because you'd just go, oh, yeah, sure. Second on the left.

Speaker 19 Tony opened what looked like a normal cupboard door in the corner of his office and switched on some delicate lighting.

Speaker 18 Delicate lighting? Is this like the elegant coat rack of chapter one Fame.

Speaker 18 Your dad's obsessed with like an inappropriate adjective.

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 18 Or also items in the room when they're supposed to be like at it that he gets really distracted by. So he's like, a lovely short pile carpet.
It's like, no, we want the action, Flintstone.

Speaker 19 Furniture fetish. That's what it is.
Also, I like his

Speaker 19 love of Bond is coming through here with the secret door.

Speaker 19 Belinda went in and the door shut behind her.

Speaker 19 Wow, she thought. Tony wasn't joking.
This was her first visit to this part of the offices, and the entire room, including the floor, was covered in exquisite leather tiles.

Speaker 19 They must have cost a fortune.

Speaker 18 Leather tiles famously do.

Speaker 20 Does every office have a leather room, and I just don't know about it?

Speaker 18 Yeah, it's like a prayer room at an airport.

Speaker 19 There was no other furniture except an extremely sophisticated and expensive drinks cabinet in the example three of the adjective.

Speaker 20 So, all there is in the room are wall-to-ceiling leather tiles and a drinks cabinet.

Speaker 19 Yes. What What does he get up to in here? She thought.
Sex, Belinda.

Speaker 19 It's wiped clean. Belinda realised, and I have to say, I just want to point this out, realised his spelt with a Z.

Speaker 19 Belinda realised that she might find out sooner than she bargained for.

Speaker 19 Anyway, what did it matter? She had been surprised that he hadn't come on to her since that final interview.

Speaker 19 After all, he was a good-looking single guy and was very professional in his approach to the business.

Speaker 20 He's not professional, I'm sorry.

Speaker 19 It turns many things.

Speaker 19 With his astute guidance, she had successfully installed herself as sales director and was now preparing her strategy on some major accounts, again with his help.

Speaker 19 Belinda thought about Giselle. She was probably Tony's preferred taste in women.
Five years younger than herself at 24.

Speaker 18 Which means

Speaker 19 Belinda is 29. Yeah, great, great.
29.

Speaker 18 Nothing should be plunging at 29. I'm 28, I tell you.

Speaker 19 Giselle was blonde, not dark like Belinda.

Speaker 19 She was Tony's PA and right-hand man, foreign, of Dutch nationality, and probably the successor to Tony as MD in four or five years when Tony moved up in the company hierarchy.

Speaker 18 I've seen nothing in Giselle that would suggest that she could be MD of any company.

Speaker 19 How is a PA going to be the MD in five years?

Speaker 19 I mean, how small is this company?

Speaker 20 Has your dad ever worked in a company structure before? Maybe he just doesn't understand.

Speaker 19 He has, yeah. He was a salesman for many years.

Speaker 18 Oh, that is coming through.

Speaker 19 Yeah, I think it is, isn't it?

Speaker 18 His in-depth knowledge of sales.

Speaker 19 Belinda was not interested in becoming MD, so no conflict could ever exist between her and Giselle.

Speaker 18 Don't worry, there's no risk of that.

Speaker 19 I mean, that is a signpost right there, isn't it? What is she interested in then? Yeah, what's her ambition if she doesn't want to be MD? Oh, hang on.

Speaker 19 The next sentence gives us a little bit more on this. Belinda was not interested in becoming MD, so no conflict could ever exist between her and Giselle.

Speaker 19 This was probably a good thing for her longevity with the outfit. So she doesn't have ambition then.
Or at least not to become the MD.

Speaker 18 But I would advise to Belinda to dream bigger because she's shown that she's got the chutzpah to do the job, you know? Very much.

Speaker 18 She didn't just take a bra off, open her legs up, and a runnel of liquid trickled down her lower left thigh. I mean, that's exactly what happened.
That's exactly what happened, isn't it?

Speaker 18 I'm thinking of a different book.

Speaker 15 Hey, Ryan Reynolds here, wishing you a very happy half-off holiday because right now, Mint Mobile is offering you the gift of 50% off unlimited. To be clear, that's half price, not half the service.

Speaker 15 Mint is still premium, unlimited wireless for a great price.

Speaker 16 So, that means a half day.

Speaker 15 Yeah? Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch.

Speaker 16 Upfront payment of $45 for a three-month plan equivalent to $15 per month required. New customer offers the first three months only.
Speed slow under 55 gigabytes of networks busy.

Speaker 16 Taxes and fees extra. See Mittmobile.com.

Speaker 1 Hi, folks, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman.

Speaker 5 Whole Foods Market is your holiday headquarters with everything you need, whether you're a guest or hosting the big dinner with show-stopping centerpiece means like bone-in spiral cut ham or bone-in rib roast or even king crab.

Speaker 6 And if you want to take a few shortcuts, no one is looking after all, try the heat-neat sides from the prepared foods department.

Speaker 11 Shop for everything you need at Whole Foods Market, your holiday headquarters.

Speaker 12 Grief doesn't keep a calendar. Anxiety doesn't clock out after five.
Depression doesn't care if it's your busy season. But support can still fit into your life.

Speaker 12 With Grow, you can find a therapist who meets you where you are. They connect you with thousands of independent licensed therapists across the U.S.
offering both virtual and in-person sessions.

Speaker 12 You can search by insurance, provider specialty, treatment methods, and more to find a therapist who works for you. And if it's not the right fit, switching is easy.

Speaker 12 There are no subscriptions, no long-term commitments. You just pay per session.
Find therapy on your time. Evenings, weekends, and cancel up to 24 hours in advance at no cost.

Speaker 12 Whatever challenges you're facing, Growtherapy is here to help. Sessions average about $21 with insurance and some pay as little as $0 depending on their plan.

Speaker 12 Visit growtherapy.com slash ACAST today to get started. That's growtherapy.com slash ACAST.
Growtherapy.com slash ACAST. Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan.

Speaker 13 If you're a smoker or vapor, ready to make a change, you really only need one good reason. But with Zin nicotine pouches, you'll discover many good reasons.

Speaker 13 Zinn is America's number one nicotine pouch brand. Plus, Zin offers a robust rewards program.
There are lots of options when it comes to nicotine satisfaction, but there's only one Zin.

Speaker 13 Check out zinn.com slash find to find Zinn at a store near you.

Speaker 13 Warning, this product contains nicotine. Nicotine is an addictive chemical.

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Speaker 19 Belinda's thoughts were interrupted when the door opened and Giselle walked in. Hi, Belinda.
What do you think of his fucking leather room? And that's in

Speaker 19 quotation mark.

Speaker 18 That should have been the title of the chapter.

Speaker 19 Giselle, manners. And also, why does everyone walk into the room and go, oh, hi, Giselle? Oh, hi, Tony.
Oh, hi, Belinda.

Speaker 18 Why is everyone surprised by everyone's presence?

Speaker 19 Well she is in the leather room. Well, it's a surprising place to be.

Speaker 19 Belinda smiled and said, I could do with a drink.

Speaker 19 Couldn't we all?

Speaker 19 Giselle walked over to the drinks cabinet, poured two stiff gin and tonics and started to stroke Belinda's tits with her long fingernails.

Speaker 19 With a long fingernails,

Speaker 19 how do you

Speaker 19 the talons? How do you stroke with a finger there?

Speaker 18 Well, you scratch. Yeah.
I'm just picturing her like grotty, like nicotine-stained talons.

Speaker 20 I bet yourself got those like long extension.

Speaker 18 Oh, yeah, reet tacky ones.

Speaker 20 French manicure stuff.

Speaker 19 Anyone with those white things on top of the nails, I'm not a fan.

Speaker 18 You're such a boy.

Speaker 19 Belinda felt herself respond and took a swift drink while she still could.

Speaker 18 What does your dad think happens when you're aroused?

Speaker 19 Oh, my throat's closed up.

Speaker 19 Maybe you think she'll be drinking other things.

Speaker 18 God, it's your dad, Jamie.

Speaker 19 Sorry.

Speaker 18 No, I'm sorry for you.

Speaker 19 Unasked, she put her tongue into Giselle's mouth.

Speaker 19 Unasked. No one ever asks for anything in this book.
Oh my God. So sorry.

Speaker 20 Unasked, Belinda stuck her tongue in Giselle's mouth.

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 19 That tastes good, said Giselle. No, no, she said, that tastes good.

Speaker 19 As she removed Belinda's jacket and skirt.

Speaker 19 Belinda slipped the straps of Giselle's dress down her arms and in a swift movement removed the whole dress.

Speaker 19 How? It's like it's like a tablecloth.

Speaker 18 I think we remember the swift, rapid movement from chapter one with the bra.

Speaker 19 Yes. Belinda slipped the straps of Giselle's dress down to her arms and in a swift movement removed the whole dress.
Very professional, Belinda, said Giselle. Professional what?

Speaker 20 Yeah, nothing about this is professional.

Speaker 18 What's the job? What is she being professional at?

Speaker 19 Said Giselle, as she again turned her attention to Belinda's tits.

Speaker 20 Give them another good scratch.

Speaker 18 They'll be in tatters.

Speaker 19 Ribbons. It only took Giselle a second to remove Belinda's satin blouse and push up her bra cups.
What?

Speaker 19 Sorry, what?

Speaker 19 To remove Belinda's satin blouse and push up her bra cups. Push up.

Speaker 18 The bra's gone. It was removed in a rapid movement.

Speaker 19 Was it? I know Giselle's dress was removed as bra. What I say.

Speaker 20 This is the most confusing undressing.

Speaker 18 Why do we have to go item by item? Because it's sexy.

Speaker 19 No, it's not sexy.

Speaker 19 I've got a hard on.

Speaker 19 Right, stop the tape.

Speaker 18 So wait a sec. I'm still confused.
Move the bra cups up.

Speaker 19 Say it one more time.

Speaker 19 It only took Giselle a second to remove Belinda's satin blouse and push up her bra cups.

Speaker 19 What do you mean?

Speaker 18 I guess. Okay, I'm wearing one right now.
They're currently covering the boobs.

Speaker 19 Yeah. So you push them up.
They're sort of in the kind of... Squashing the boobs.

Speaker 18 Well, no, the boobs are popped out and they're like acting as shoulder pads.

Speaker 19 Maybe she's wearing them as a choker.

Speaker 18 But it's still attached to you. So you're now stretching them catapult style.

Speaker 19 Yeah, so the breasts have plunged out of them from below. And the bra is like hanging around

Speaker 19 your shoulders. Your clavicle.

Speaker 20 I mean, this is sexy.

Speaker 19 Whichever way, it's not comfortable. Belinda's nipples started to swell in anticipation.

Speaker 19 Oh!

Speaker 19 Get that She's got an energy. Her throat's swelling up, her nipples are growing.

Speaker 18 Tay fever season.

Speaker 19 Get her some pyritin.

Speaker 19 Belinda's nipples started to swell in anticipation before Giselle's lips and teeth started to punish them. Oh, God.
Giselle. She loves the boobs.

Speaker 18 Your dad is such a boob man.

Speaker 19 He is, I think. Yeah, that much has been made clear to me, Alice.
Thanks.

Speaker 18 That's what he always tells me.

Speaker 20 I hope Belinda's got a tuber V45 in her bag so she can give her breasts some assistants.

Speaker 18 She's going to need some tiger balm or something, isn't she?

Speaker 19 It took about as much time for Belinda to unhook Giselle's bra and then slip her knickers to the floor. As much time as what? I don't know.
It's a brand new paragraph.

Speaker 18 We're going so slow.

Speaker 19 It's a brand new paragraph.

Speaker 19 This is a new paragraph. It took about as much time for Belinda to unhook Giselle's bra and then slip her knickers to the floor.

Speaker 20 Belinda's a magician.

Speaker 18 It's a brand new paragraph. It's not even a sentence.

Speaker 19 She's very professional, James. She is very professional.
Giselle definitely stepped out of them and kicked her heels to the side of the room.

Speaker 18 Can I initiate? I know we're only on chapter two, but can I initiate a drinking game here?

Speaker 19 Oh yeah, always.

Speaker 18 Any mention of deftly?

Speaker 19 That is a favourite, isn't it?

Speaker 18 A lot of deft actions. Any mention of rapid movements?

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 18 Any mention of a nipple, a bra or a breast?

Speaker 19 Alice will be drunk before chapter three. Seriously, I think that's a little bit.

Speaker 18 And my final one is professionalism.

Speaker 19 Yes, professionalism for sure.

Speaker 20 Can I add one? Yeah.

Speaker 20 When someone puts an item of clothing to like the side of a room or something like that, as has just been demonstrated.

Speaker 19 Well, she just kicked her heels to the side of the room, John.

Speaker 18 Very good. Or chapter one where everything was hung on a coat hook in the side of the room.
Yeah.

Speaker 19 Drink.

Speaker 19 Lie down on the floor, Belinda, and enjoy all that leather, said the now completely naked Giselle. Belinda did as she was told, as well as pulling off her bra.

Speaker 18 Surprise, fucking surprise. Passive Belinda did what she was told.

Speaker 19 At least the bra's not choking her anymore. Now stretched out on the floor with only a thong in place, Belinda was game for anything.
Besides, what else would she be doing on a wet Thursday afternoon?

Speaker 20 Oh yeah, I mean, you know, she wouldn't be doing invoices or anything like that or the sales meetings. What else would she be doing?

Speaker 19 Lying on a leather room floor? God forbid a job. I know, a job, but yeah.

Speaker 18 And also, stop saying it's a wet day. Is that supposed to be like a horrible echo of what's about to occur?

Speaker 19 Besides, what else would she be doing on a wet Thursday afternoon, 12 hours before her first regional sales meeting? Giselle's hands soon made light work of Belinda's thong.

Speaker 18 Drink.

Speaker 19 The The two girls started to excite each other, and soon their respective vaginas were wet and steaming.

Speaker 18 Can we talk about respective vaginas? I don't think that phrase has ever been written down, ever.

Speaker 19 It's steaming. Steaming!

Speaker 19 Has one of them got a cold? They're gonna put a tea towel over the rest.

Speaker 18 Oh my god, condensation down there.

Speaker 20 You ever had a steamy vagina?

Speaker 18 Oh my goodness, it's like a geezer.

Speaker 19 They took it in turns to lick each other's clits and when Tony...

Speaker 19 Oh god, dad.

Speaker 18 There goes Madonna.

Speaker 20 Dad took it in turns.

Speaker 19 Took it in turns. Clits.
Respective vaginas. After you, Belinda.

Speaker 18 May I lick yours?

Speaker 19 Oh, don't ask.

Speaker 19 They took it in turns to lick each other's clits, and when Tony entered the room, they were both ready for a bit of male interaction.

Speaker 18 He was looking for a conference room. You know, and people are like, sorry, have you got this foot? Oh, yeah, they're going to be a while.

Speaker 19 However, Tony had other ideas and just brushed Belinda's body with his hands.

Speaker 19 Charming.

Speaker 18 Like you would a horse.

Speaker 19 Feeling her responsive breasts and ass, though, you know.

Speaker 20 They must be so swollen right now.

Speaker 18 Oh my god, she's like, she's throbbing. She'd be heaving.
Oh, gross. Oh, your dad is so gross, no offense.

Speaker 19 His real objective was Giselle, and pretty soon he was deeply into licking her pussy.

Speaker 20 Oh, there's nothing worse than when you're in a threesome and someone's paying attention more to one than the other.

Speaker 19 Don't. Belinda's the ultimate third wheel.
Belinda's such a belly no mate. Oh, no, hang on.
Meanwhile, Giselle was doing the same to Belinda. So, all in all, everyone was getting satisfaction.

Speaker 19 Oh, God. That's a turn up for the books.
Do you know what?

Speaker 18 Rocky's actually thought about the audience and he's gone, people aren't going to stand for this.

Speaker 19 Exactly.

Speaker 20 So they're in a line, like a human centrepiece.

Speaker 19 Unless Belinda's licking Tony's asshole, I think they're in a line.

Speaker 19 I mean, that might be the next sentence. Who knows?

Speaker 18 Wait, so Tony's all over Giselle. Giselle can't get enough of Belinda.
Belinda's just having a good time.

Speaker 19 She's reading, like, take a break. Yeah.

Speaker 19 After about 15 minutes of this intense activity. Oh, my God.

Speaker 19 I've just licking someone out. Wow.
In tandem.

Speaker 19 Belinda excused herself.

Speaker 19 Sorry.

Speaker 19 Sorry, that really took me by surprise. Excuse me.

Speaker 18 I will. I'll put my apologies in now.
I've got some stuff checked in at the dry cleaners. They close early on a Thursday.
It's been lovely.

Speaker 19 Bye. The bell's just tolled five.

Speaker 19 Oh, God. I've had such a nice time.

Speaker 19 I must run. I've got Corrie on record.
What do you mean? Excused herself.

Speaker 1 Hi, folks, it's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman.

Speaker 5 Whole Foods Market is your holiday headquarters with everything you need, whether you're a guest or hosting the big dinner with show-stopping centerpiece means like bone-in spiral cut ham or bone-in rib roast or even king crab.

Speaker 6 And if you want to take a few shortcuts, no one is looking after all, try the heat-neat sides from the prepared foods department.

Speaker 11 Shop for everything you need at Whole Foods Market, your holiday headquarters.

Speaker 12 Grief doesn't keep a calendar. Anxiety doesn't clock out after five.
Depression doesn't care if it's your busy season. But support can still fit into your life.

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Speaker 19 After about 15 minutes of this intense activity, Belinda excused herself, gathered together her discarded clothes, and let herself out of the leather room. Oh, right, just like that.

Speaker 19 That's it, she's gone.

Speaker 18 Bye. Thanks so much for the pussy action.
I'll be on my way.

Speaker 19 Thanks for the memories, Belinda. She's got that far and she just left.

Speaker 18 Do you think Giselle's offended?

Speaker 19 Well, Giselle and Tony stayed on for an extra session, which Giselle would no doubt enlighten Belinda about at Friday lunch. Oh, that's put me right off my sushi.

Speaker 19 So do we think that Giselle and Tony are in some sort of relationship? It seems that way, doesn't it?

Speaker 20 It's not, you know.

Speaker 18 If they are, then Belinda is nay taking the hint.

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 20 Oh, Belinda, what are you doing in here?

Speaker 18 Belinda's rolling around on the leather tiles.

Speaker 19 Maybe that's why she left. She thought, oh, God.

Speaker 18 I think there was a point before that that she could have stepped out.

Speaker 19 Well, to be fair, Tony walked in on those two.

Speaker 18 To be fair.

Speaker 19 While starting to dress in Tony's office, the main receptionist, Bella, walked in and caught Belinda naked, adjusting her thong. Ding, ding, ding! New character.
Oh, Bella.

Speaker 19 Here, let me do that for you, said Bella.

Speaker 18 Oh, for God's sake.

Speaker 19 I know how important it is to achieve a straight line with a thong. Look at mine.

Speaker 18 Not. Can I just say, as boys in the room and the only girl here, hello, girls don't talk like this.

Speaker 18 Girls don't talk about the importance of a straight thong and girls definitely don't show each other the straightness of their thong.

Speaker 19 Unless you've got like a bent ass crack, it's going to be pretty straight. There's a line to follow.
How's she getting it wrong?

Speaker 19 Bella hitched up up her dress and revealed an even more skimpy thong than Belinda was wearing. Belinda stroked Bella's ass in appreciation and thought the obvious.
Not another one.

Speaker 18 Thank you. Thank you.
I'm with Belinda.

Speaker 19 Belinda is finally thinking and talking sense.

Speaker 18 Where are they hiring these people from?

Speaker 19 Belinda thought the obvious. Not another one.
What is this office running on? High-powered sexual adrenaline? It's not a thing.

Speaker 19 Bella turned around and caressed Belinda's substantial tits, which were still suffering from Giselle's attentions.

Speaker 20 I was going to say, I bet they are. She hasn't put the ointment on you.

Speaker 19 Attentions?

Speaker 20 Well, the scratching and the sucking and the biting.

Speaker 18 And they were swollen already in anticipation.

Speaker 19 Belinda responded by putting her hand between Bella's legs, pushing Bella's thong to one side so she could finger her clits.

Speaker 20 Oh my god.

Speaker 19 It's two clit mentions.

Speaker 18 A, she just got that thong straight.

Speaker 18 And B, I love that she's just like, uh, the way I respond to that is, hand up the skirt and wriggle around.

Speaker 19 Bella groaned and started kissing Belinda's mouth. Groaned like, oh.

Speaker 20 I've heard about you, Belinda.

Speaker 19 Help me dress, gasped Belinda, not wanting to be discovered by Tony and Giselle exiting the leather room, which Bella had probably no idea existed. I think she does.

Speaker 19 Bella took the hint and calmed down, taking inordinate pleasure in placing Belinda's brain stockings onto her smooth body. Let's do this again and in private, said Belinda.
What?

Speaker 18 Dress you?

Speaker 19 Bella nodded while straightening Belinda's thong for the last time.

Speaker 19 It's not a tie! And picked up the correspondence she'd gone to Tony's office to collect for the last post.

Speaker 18 Well, thank God something happened today.

Speaker 19 I'll hold you to that, Belinda, said Bella. My place, next Friday evening, say 9 p.m.

Speaker 18 She's got a bit Ray Winston. I'll hold you to that.

Speaker 19 It's a date, Belinda replied, wondering how she'd have the sexual strength to get through the next week. But instinctively, she knew if sex was made available, then she'd take it all in good stead.

Speaker 19 What on earth does that mean? Belinda went to her office and picked up her briefcase. Belinda's got a briefcase.
Filled with what? Thongs. Probably.

Speaker 19 On the desk was an agenda with client attendance details of the Sunday bash at the chairman's house.

Speaker 19 It would make interesting reading that night when she got to her apartment, as well as the final preparations for her regional sales manager meeting in the morning.

Speaker 20 But it's got very dull again.

Speaker 20 I mean, no offense to Rocky.

Speaker 18 Is this Rocky's sales background, maybe?

Speaker 19 Yeah, and also, we are winding down to the end of the chapter.

Speaker 19 This is like the penultimate center but lest we forget how the last chapter ended on a high outside in the car park belinda jumped into her two-week old mercedes coop and started to gently masturbate oh no it's just it's not that swish it expensive belinda so loved this part of the job what going home it's the travel perks it's the travel job

Speaker 19 drink are we drinking for travel perks always might as well Swish it expensive, Belinda so loved this part of the job.

Speaker 19 She gunned the engine and drove the 20 minutes to her new central London apartment. from where so it's in london it is in london what town hall clock are they by

Speaker 19 central london apartment and that is the end of chapter two that's not the end it is

Speaker 19 how are your nipples james swollen and sore jump to quick scratching

Speaker 18 okay so what have we learned bella

Speaker 18 new character I think she'll come into her own next chapter.

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 18 Belinda, she's 29. She's living in London.

Speaker 20 Giselle and Tony are in some sort of relationship, do you think?

Speaker 19 I don't think they're in a relationship as much as they just have an understanding.

Speaker 19 All right. You sound a bit like Rocky.
Well, I am related.

Speaker 19 I don't know who've heard Alice, but I am his son. Like father, like son.

Speaker 18 Oh, no, I hope not. I really don't want to have an insight into your sexual fantasies.
I cannot wait to see what happens at the tennis party.

Speaker 20 I know. I think there'll be sex.
I mean, I'm just putting it out there.

Speaker 18 Well, if you're not going to wear a thong or a bra, things will happen.

Speaker 19 Tennis whites whites and no underwear. Only one thing can happen.

Speaker 18 I presume very little tennis.

Speaker 19 It's not Wimbledon, no.

Speaker 18 Unless it's tonsil tennis. Rocky would probably use the phrase tonsil tennis.

Speaker 20 So, Jamie, how are you feeling now? Chapter two. You've read a bit more of your dad's literature.

Speaker 19 Yeah.

Speaker 19 I don't know whether I'm just getting more used to the concept that it's out in the world or... It isn't as kind of shocking.

Speaker 20 Well, I think chapter two kind of, you know, we had the big opening, so to speak, in chapter one.

Speaker 19 Yeah, chapter two didn't go to like crazy lengths of sexual exploits. Like, you know, it's not really

Speaker 19 that disturbing, is it?

Speaker 18 I don't know if I was looking for disturbing from your dad's first novel.

Speaker 20 Yeah, disturbing isn't top of my list when I can look for erotic literature.

Speaker 19 But when I do talk to people about it, you know, their first reaction is, oh my god, your dad's writing porn.

Speaker 19 And they, and I think people expect it to be quite scarring, but I'm not going to need counselling just yet.

Speaker 18 That's nice because I think it's fair to say I am scarred, and so are you, James. So it's nice that one person at the table is okay with this.

Speaker 20 I'm going straight for a shower after this. I don't know about anyone else.
You can't join me, Helinda.

Speaker 20 If you want to get in touch with us, you can either tweet us, we have a Twitter, it's at dadrotaporno.

Speaker 20 You can email us, mydadrotaporno at gmail.com, or we have a Facebook page.

Speaker 18 If you want to add Belinda as a friend, which I would recommend.

Speaker 19 She's quite quiet so far.

Speaker 20 My dad wrote a porno. There is a page, believe it or not.

Speaker 19 And do get in touch and let us know what you think because dad is currently writing books two, three, four, five, six, etc. So I'm sure any feedback would be amuse to his continued writing, James.

Speaker 20 So what have we got to look forward to next time? What's chapter three called?

Speaker 19 Okay, next episode we're going to do chapter three, which is called the Regional Sales Meeting.

Speaker 18 No, sorry, what have we got to look forward to?

Speaker 19 It is quite a bland title of a chapter, isn't it? There you go. Come back for that.
I bet you can't wait, everybody. But yeah, thanks for listening.

Speaker 19 And do come back next week because we will be tackling chapter three.

Speaker 20 I'll try and be there, but I have got to do a big shop.

Speaker 19 We'll change it to Saturday, James.

Speaker 18 It's the day after Friday.

Speaker 1 Hi, folks. It's Mark Bittman from the podcast Food with Mark Bittman.

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