Skaldova - Ep. 11: The Collapse

This is a head gum podcast.

Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.

This is not another DD podcast.

Welcome back to Skaldova, everybody.

Skaldova!

Thank you for that.

Extra long one because we're victorious.

Yes, you are.

Saying in victory.

I am your dungeon master, Jake Hurwitz, here with Brian Murphy.

God damn, he's got the gloves of the ram.

Cedric of the murder.

Oh, that would have been going to have ended in Welly Ham Dam.

Oh, yeah.

Too bad.

Yeah, that's crazy.

Or

Noah go crazy for gloves of the ram.

Something like that.

Shark dressed man.

Called a darling.

What's your name?

Oh, yeah, dude.

You got it.

Why didn't you acknowledge it?

That is incredible.

Emily Axford.

No, I'm going crazy for her.

Welly ham damn.

You got it.

Come on.

You just said it.

Yeah, and I was choking on laughter.

Okay.

And of course, we've got Caldwell Tanner.

What's he going to do?

Now we have to.

You know what you have to do?

You know I go crazy for Tim Tam Slam.

That's what Boggy likes to do after he wins.

Tim Tam Slam?

Tim Tam Slam.

Yeah.

Why are you acting like this is the thing, Emily?

A Tim Tam Slam is where you eat too many cookies.

Yeah, you eat the cookies.

You bite a little edge of the cookie, and then you bite another edge, and then you put it into your drink, and you slurp it through and it makes the cookie all soggy.

Or it's like when you do that thing where you pile a ton of Pringles on top of each other instead of eating them one by one and then take a big bite.

But you do that with cookies instead of a bunch of people.

You feel like you could have done like Boggy Raj Man, you could have done like Sharp Bog Man.

Tim Tam Slam.

Tim Tam Slam.

Well now that Tim Tam Slams are settled and confirmed as fact, how about a little recap?

Let's do it.

That'd be good.

Last time, our three unusual fighters faced off against Bulrick and his shitty army of monks.

During the battle, you learned some disturbing truths about the Age of Stories, namely that the Hilt turned on humanity and killed the princess's pet dragon.

And it was this very dragon's rotting corpse that gave way to the corrupted water source, which became Black Lace.

From there, you defeated the bad guy, stopped the ritual, and rescued Lila.

Sadly, her knight Sir Holden was killed, but happily, her brother Braxton was as well.

You took a moment to collect yourselves from the shock of seeing a 200-year-old dragon body and perhaps the even larger shock of seeing Zudrick's handsome tattooed face.

And that's where we are now.

I put my helmet back on.

So you guys are standing at the head of the ink-black cistern.

Cicada's tree trunk neck is arcing across the bricks behind you.

The adrenaline is starting to wear off.

Your breath beginning to return.

And Lila standing silently staring past the butchered bodies of the monks deep into the pool.

She speaks to you without turning.

I

can't thank you enough.

I can never repay you.

And then she looks up at you, three of you caked in blood, only some of it your own.

How did you find us?

Who sent you?

Oh, um, well, you don't have to repay us because we are getting paid.

Yes, yes, your father would be paying us handsomely.

Your father did.

Of course.

But that's right.

Yes, as the manner of finding you, well, we.

I suppose, you know, we followed a trail of information and good fortune.

And hearing you guys name her father, her face falls, and she remembers why she came.

My mother,

she's...

she's one of them now or or something worse.

Please,

help me get home.

Yes, of course.

May I ask, what was your mother beset with that your father was trying to cure her of?

My mother was sick for as long as I can remember.

Slowly dying

for my entire life.

And my father went to the ends of the earth, tried to move mountains to make her live.

And eventually, I believe he sold his soul and

gave her black lace as his last hope.

So, what do you feel you'll be returning to?

I fear whatever is left of her.

I fear for my father's safety.

I fear for the safety of she looks down, of his knight, Sir Mathis.

Yeah.

Yes, it

Sir Mathis did give us this.

I hold up our shimmering weapons.

Sir Mathis, he was very concerned about you, and if anything, maybe the reason he isn't here is that he's trying to protect your father from your mother.

Oh, yes.

She kicks a brick.

Knights and their oaths.

But it's okay if he's in the doghouse for now.

Yes, but you know, look not far away to Mathis Dyre if you wish for knights upholding their oaths.

right here, and she will guide you safely to your home.

Yeah, I nudge them closer together.

I whisper, I'm kind of actually rooting for her and Sir Mathis Dyer.

Okay, but there's the thing explain it.

I've already tried to take another knight's woman once,

and that hasn't sat right with me.

Okay, sure.

All right.

Well, I just wanted to say that.

Though I did entertain a moment of thrill when Lila yeeted that axe,

in which I saved her from a man unworthy of her, but

I've stifled it.

Your respect is noble and admirable, but I will say that it's wise to try all the mushrooms of the forest so that you know which ones are poisonous.

Okay.

I go to a knee and I kiss Lila's hand.

That was so quick.

I taste just a touch of

her hand and I say, if this be poison, this poison be sweet.

Let's also, we also have to get Faye out of here, too.

I hope that does.

Before you do that, Willie, roll me a Constitution save.

12.

All right.

12, okay.

It's not enough for a carnal release.

Your voice, you're so confident when you start speaking and then you go to a whisper, just tiny little flecks of spittle

spraying onto Lila's ungloved hand.

I whisper, I'm feeling my heartbeat in places I don't normally.

Okay.

She pulls her hand back.

Thank you.

Thank you for your service.

Just narrowly past her jizz save.

Great, yeah.

Sir, Sir Welly, was it?

I'm not sure I know everyone's name.

Oh, Sir Welly Hamdam of the Oaken Ore.

I gestured a Zudrick.

Oh, um, this is Bokey Roger.

Thank you.

Awesome.

Thank you.

So kind.

Wait, I think I introduced Zudrick as Sir Welly.

Oh, sorry.

This is really confusing.

You know what?

You can just call us all Welly.

Okay.

We're Welly's Fellies.

I'll call you all Sir Welly.

Fair enough.

Yeah, we're Welly's Fellies, Boggy's Buds, or the Zoo crew.

Yeah, you can call us any one of those things.

Whichever you prefer.

Yeah.

Well, I was inching away from you guys.

I agree, that's too complicated.

They call us the zoo crew because of me.

They call us Boggy's Buds because of him.

I went to Boggy.

Welly's Felis is totally new.

That just came right off the top of this beautiful dome.

Yes, I'm feeling a little giddy after our recent victory.

So now that we're all not confused, let's try to figure out this situation.

How do we make Black Glacier stop?

I'm going to walk over to the dragon and try to have him, I guess, not

be poisoned.

Tell him to knock it off.

Can we remove the body or perhaps I hate to even suggest it, especially in this cramped space, but burn it?

Give it a funeral pyre of sorts.

Before we do that, I take out the twig.

Oh,

this is from a wildness that precedes the gods.

So

we could just

see.

We could just let them decide.

I suppose.

Yes, I will see from behind that barrel 20 yards away.

I'm going to go straight up into the dragon's face, and I guess I'm going to take my hand that I usually lift a sword with and lift this twig instead.

And then just kind of do my best impression of a sorcerer and lick my wrist

to try to cast a spell from the twig of mayhem.

You need to say spell release.

Snake release.

So Welly goes for you go from holding Lila's hand to standing up from the knee, striding towards this giant dragon body, dipping into your pocket.

You pull out this braided twig, still kind of thrumming with this magic, and it actually shakes more intensely as you get closer.

You raise it over your head, and you shout

snake release as Lila winces.

The ancient words spoken true.

Roll me a D100.

19.

With a 19.

You arc this wand, you shout snake release, not really sure what to expect, and then crackling from this wand, you cast the spell gust of wind a line of strong wind 60 feet long 10 feet wide blasts from you in a direction that you choose for the spell's duration i think i go do it at

at the dragon then i'm like ah and then i turn around blasting it in everyone's direction

so

not sure how to control it you start spinning around like uh like a loose fire hose

a snake made of wind!

Don't drop him in the water, it'll be even worse.

Zudrick and Boggy and Lila are all going to give strength saves or be pushed 15 feet.

So, Lila saves with a 12.

What did Boggy get?

13.

13.

Oh, I actually also got a 13.

But I do.

You guys do all get a beautiful blowout.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah.

This air looks incredible.

You got the twigs out of my beard.

I was saving those.

The wind blows Zudrick's helm up again.

You see just

a flash of tattoos before he slams it.

She's would have been anticlimactic if this is how it happened.

I'm glad this is only the second time you're seeing me.

I put my helmet back on.

Yeah, it just flies fully off and thuds on the ground, and I have to go pick it up.

So, well, you kind of now understand why Sir Hilda Garnet may have left this behind.

It's magic, but it's just unstable.

Yeah.

She never knew what spell it was going to cast.

It's the wand of wonder.

Every time you cast a spell, we'll roll a D-100 and see what happens.

Amazing.

It's still ignited my imagination, though, to think that there is magic that preceded the gods.

Well, perhaps we can.

Someone can study it and figure out a way to

extract magic from it or something like that.

Or perhaps you could learn to control it.

Yeah, I think I don't want to give it to anyone else right now.

Oh, okay.

Okay, yeah.

So you said that kind of weird, but

I just stand in the corner clutching my wand.

Okay, yeah.

My mom, I'm just worried about right.

Yes, right, right, yes.

Yeah, they didn't say anything about when we needed to bring you back.

We're allowed to mess around in the sewer down here for a little while if we'd like.

All right, Lila, okay.

Lila, you know.

I'm not rushing you.

Kind of being a bit much.

Yeah, no.

That's your brother.

We weren't expecting him to be evil.

I don't know if we get like a rating when we're doing it.

Neither was it.

Maybe just cool it a little bit, Zudi.

Yeah.

Oh, we don't know if we're getting rating.

Lila sits on a crumpled pillar.

Lila, before we begin heading up, there was a request from one of the monks who actually helped us find you.

She's got a gorgeous smile, and

she wants to

eat your brother.

She...

Wait, what?

I don't know that she wanted to.

I think she meant like she wanted to kill him so bad she could like devour him.

That might have been the lace talking.

Yeah.

Oh.

But who knows?

I mean, I personally don't care if she eats him.

Do you?

I suppose at the end of the day, I mean, it's the same to me as leaving him here.

Is your father going to want to see this guy?

They're going to bag him up for a funeral or something.

Yeah, should we bag him up?

Oh,

if we're being raided and we show up without all of the bodies?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Okay.

Okay.

Yeah.

Put that in what I like to call a boggy bag.

Okay.

We could.

That was good.

Sorry.

Sorry, Lilo.

We took a moment to appreciate Boggy's joke.

Yeah, I just thought it was good.

I think the joke is really good for the ratings.

Sorry, I thought it was really funny.

Yeah, well, whereas like a doggy bag would be...

This is a boggy bag.

His name's Boggy.

You don't know his name's Boggy.

But that's why we were called Boggy's Blood.

Boggy's Pod.

Layers there is to that because I thought it was a play on Body Bag.

That is so funny.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That's also where I was.

These guys should do stand-up.

I mean, honestly, a two-pronged pun.

Oh, we have many a talent show.

I'm the least funny one here.

No, I don't think I've appreciated it.

And if it is true, it's just because you're really attractive, and attractive people don't have to try to shark.

Yeah, okay.

Well, you know what?

Let's go ahead and put your brother in a boggy bag.

I stifle a laugh.

Lila forces a polite laugh for you guys.

Yes, very good.

It works on some so many levels.

And then I'll be more respectful to Sir Holden and kind of just carry her out the regular way, not in a bag.

Yeah.

Got it.

Just like fireman style over your shoulder.

Just over a shoulder, yeah.

Yeah.

Oh, there's also a boar loose upstairs.

I don't know if he's a fan.

Oh, yes.

The boar.

Not just any boar.

This is a boar prince now, I believe.

They've got the run of the place.

He might be the king.

Yeah, he might be.

Let's face it.

Things move quickly in the animal world.

He is.

I think he is.

Yeah.

Boar's head indeed.

That was pretty good.

Thanks, yeah.

I thought it was alright, like head of the castle, but, you know, you might have to turn him into ham.

You're too hot on yourself, friend.

How do you get away with being hot and funny?

Yeah, you know.

How do you do it?

I just swear that's why I wear the helmet.

I mean, it's not why I wear the helmet, but you know,

we don't know if the Daft Pump guys are hot.

We just know that they're cool robots to make them.

We don't know.

We can only assume they are.

All right, Lila.

Yeah.

You're babbling.

Let's get going.

Sorry, right.

Yeah, let's get going.

I didn't mean to hold anyone up.

I will take a shaving of this blackened scale.

Oh, okay.

I hate to say it, but I do feel like I must contact Lady Linebeth and her new lover, the scholar, Sir Ransford Swank.

Sir Ransford Swank?

Yeah, such an evil name.

He is.

As despicable as he is,

he does have connections within the Scholars Guild, and I think that if we are to put an end to this black lace, perhaps

their insidious love could lead to some sort of breakthrough.

May I ask?

Many scholars specialize.

What does Sir Ransford Swank specialize in?

He's more of like a permanent grad student.

He just kind of dilly-dallies, but he jumps around

the other.

But, you know, he's got a lot of teams and a lot of money to

place into various research pools and think tanks.

Where are they, Lady Lennabeth and her lover.

Why, they're in Goodport, which was neighboring to the bog lands where I hailed from before.

Interesting.

All right.

Well, let's get up to the Boer Prince, aka the Boer King.

Yes.

Okay.

Let's stop with.

Let's stop at Faye.

Yes, indeed.

Yeah.

But let's, as we walk, let's think about what we're going to want for our feast.

You know what we could do with Faye?

Because she's fighting off the black lace, we could drop her off with Darwin Wednesday.

I do.

And then if if we find any sort of cure for black lace, yeah, and we can also see, you know, I mean, she might just kill Darwin Wednesday.

But I don't know Darwin Wednesday.

But Darwin might readily take on that risk.

Yeah, we'll bring it up to Darwin.

They could have like a demon slayer thing going on.

The monk that you speak of, Faye.

Yeah.

She had short hair and a chip on her tooth.

Yes, yeah.

She.

Was she kind to you?

She argued for me.

She tried to stop them when

they chained me up.

I want to show my gratitude as well.

And I'm not rushing you guys.

We can leave whenever you want.

Okay, I'm sorry.

Well, we're going to need you to stop babbling if we argue.

Yes, of course.

We're going to need, we're going to leave.

Just like really quick, like we're leaving right now, except we do need to pick up the Caltrops.

I'm so sorry, but we do need to pick up the Caltrops.

What is that, 10 minutes?

10 minutes minimum, honestly.

What is the Caltrops?

Shoe if we all work together.

What is the Caltrap save?

Because as I try to pick them up, I might accidentally step on.

DC 15.

It was DC 15.

You should be fine.

The zombies were able to get over it.

Okay, I got it.

I got it.

CC.

Okay.

All right, so you guys.

I failed that one.

Oh, yeah.

There are a lot of Caltraps.

You have to do it.

Every five days, right?

The same for every Caltrap.

For everyone you pick up.

I fell over that time.

Okay.

Fell over again.

Since Welly keeps falling, let's just be really careful and take 20 minutes to pick them up.

I think that's smart.

Yeah.

I think that's really, really wise.

Lila takes a nap on the edge of the cistern.

God, hot, smart, funny.

You have a total package all wrapped up in some armor.

Oh, come on, no.

All right.

All right.

We got the Galtrops.

Been a solid 20.

Let's get going up to Faye.

All right, so you guys have packed up the bodies, packed up the Caltrops.

Lila is woken from her nap.

And you remember, the spill pipes are impossible to ascend.

You won't be able to go back up that way because they're too narrow and slick.

Oh, the earthen passage.

The main corridor has been caved in.

It's the earthen passage that remains.

Okay.

All right.

There was like secretions like rubbed on the wall here.

Oh, there was some sort of beast.

Well, I suppose we'll find out.

We really have no other way of...

Do you want me to use my twig again?

Just shoot it wildly down this hall.

Yeah, sure.

Knock yourself out.

Jake, can we say that we took a short rest, by the way?

Yeah, I mean, you guys definitely have.

I have a question.

Does the twig's charges recharge at dawn, or is it a one-time thing?

It has three charges total, and they recharge at dawn, but as you get further from this wild magic of the dragon body, it's going to lose its charges until you're around some other magic source sometime in the future.

You'll almost be able to use as like a magic detector, a magic beacon.

Okay, I'm aware that this proximity to power is making me a monster.

Yeah.

But I'm going to use it again.

And I'm going to just

flick my wrist

and shout snake release again.

Down the tunnel.

68.

All right.

So you guys pick your way across rubble in this cavern, casting your torches into dead ends, shallow cavities that house only jagged bits of stone, until finally you cast your light into a passage that doesn't bounce it back.

This is the last exit.

And Wellie.

As you find this final exit, you approach it, wand in hand, shaking with a magic charge, and you shout, snake release into the darkness.

And looking ahead, you don't see anything happen, but suddenly the passage seems to get larger and larger and larger.

And everyone else, as you're watching, you see Welly get smaller and smaller and smaller and smaller.

Oh,

Welly.

Wellie, what's going on?

Have I been physically humbled?

Oh no!

Oh no!

What happened to William Schitz?

Is he even smaller?

I reached into my pocket.

An enormous bullfrog-seeming creature

ups out.

Wait, William Schitz, I can ride you.

Okay.

So that's fun.

All right.

All right.

That's the silver lining.

That's just good, clean, fun.

That's just good, clean fun.

You hop on William Schitz and you guys hop down this cavern.

As you guys get further and further from the dragon corpse, the magic fades Willie, and you begin to grow.

And as you reach your full size again, a warm wind brushes your cheek, carrying the scent of something harsh.

Zudric and Boggy, you guys are at the cave opening.

You pause, one final look back.

The monks lie broken across the stone, two hanging limp from chains above the cistern.

Whatever was left of Bulrick has been swallowed by the pool, along with his iron chalice.

You stare into the hollow eyes of the great dragon Cicada and the fallen body of Sir Hilda Garnet.

The cave continues to drip into the pool.

Drip, drip.

Then, a deep creak, a groan from the deep.

The ink-colored water trembles as dust begins to fall in loose sheets from the vaulted ceiling above.

The ritual, the battle, the remnants of all this wild magic has taken its toll.

The foundation of the place is cracking.

The dawn hold won't hold for much longer.

There is a ticking clock as you guys make your way into the cave.

I suggest we pick up no more cowtrops and make haste.

Okay.

Let's make haste.

Yeah, let's let's let's run out and we'll try to grab Faye real quick.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Quickly, quickly.

Um, I'll just start shouting for her.

Faye!

Faye!

So you guys are scrambling over slick rocks, squeezing your way under a low, craggy roof, twisting through the tunnel.

Loose gravel crunches underfoot, and then so does something else.

You look down and you find scattered across the passage are mangled bones and fragments of cracked carapaces, some as long as your forearm.

Lila shudders.

Oh.

You keep on climbing steadily, rounding a bend, and you find yourselves in a lofty, ragged cavern.

Stalactites and stalagmites encroach on you from every direction, like the jaw of a great beast closing around you.

And here, an unsettling feeling comes over you, creeping at the edge of your awareness.

You're not alone in here.

The uneven ceiling is high overhead.

You look up as a faint

cuts through the air.

Squinting into the darkness, you sidestep an oblong blob just as it grazes past, smacking into the cave floor with a wet thud.

Then another.

Whatever it is, it's writhing at your feet.

A thick, pudgy little thing like an overripe fruit.

Its skin is thin, almost translucent.

Its single eye trained on you as its rasping maw opens and closes weakly, revealing a set of razor-sharp teeth.

This one missed, but above you, something moves.

A tendril crackles through the cavern.

A towering stalagmite shakes and then turns, opening a gaping mouth like a portal to hell.

Everyone, roll initiative.

Okay.

15 for Welly.

All right.

18.

21 for Boggy.

Boggy, you're first with a 21.

I think I will do a roll backwards and grunt loudly as I do it.

And then while I'm taking a knee, I will aim an arrow up at this wiggling stalactite.

Okay.

sweet.

Fire away.

All right.

Arrow release.

That is a 22 to hit.

22 hits.

14 damage.

All right.

At initiative 20, that is these pudgy little things falling from the ceiling.

I'm going to roll to see who they target.

With a two, that is Welly.

Welly, this oblong, mucus-covered, slug-like thing with teeth, hurdles out of the darkness.

Give me a dexterity-saving throw to try to avoid it.

Okay.

Gross.

Nasty.

12.

12.

You sidestep it, and this thing splats on a rock in a spray of guts and teeth.

That is Zudrick's turn.

Okay, Zudrick shrugs.

We don't need to kill this thing.

Looks around it like the boulders falling down.

I think the cave will do that for us.

Endurance, it is.

Okay, I guess I'm just going to, I'll kind of hold my turn and wait for other people to go, but I think I'm going to shout, let's run run past this thing, let's get the fuck out of here.

Okay.

And you know what?

I will send my birds ahead.

Ah.

Tabitha, Salem, Sabrina, Edgar, warn Faye that we're on our way and have her meet us down the tunnel.

Very smart.

That's great.

Yes.

Thank you, Saber.

Lila ducks and covers her head as they storm past her and up through the cavern.

I would have loved to have claimed one of these tentacles.

It would have been nice to have a big sticky arm I could launch at things.

Well, maybe you'll have the chance.

Yes, a trophy.

So Zedric's gonna hold his turn to do a mad dash.

Wellie, that's your turn.

Okay, I'm gonna turn to Lila and say, I totally respect your relationship with Sir Mathis, but may I?

And then I'm gonna gesture to like carry her.

Wow.

She doesn't hesitate.

She leaps into your arms, arms around your neck, legs draped over your other arm.

And then I'm gonna run.

I'm gonna get how far can I get if I take a dash action?

It will get you out of reach if you can get past it.

Yeah, so I'm going to try to do that and I want to try to angle it so that if this thing, when this thing attacks us, that the opportunity attack comes at me and not at Lila.

Nice.

Okay.

Wellie, as you bound across the cavern floor, it reaches out, sending a tendril with 25 to hit.

Okay, I am going to say, activate, load star rune, and I'm going to redirect that attack to one of the ceiling creatures.

Nice.

Oh, there you go.

Fucking great.

Okay.

She's saving her embrace for another friend.

This tendril whips at you.

It's whipping straight towards Lila's face, but you bob and duck and direct this tendril up to the ceiling where it just pops one of these little larva mucus things like a pimple.

And you

make your way to the cave opening.

Okay,

I turn back and I shout, everyone, come here.

All right, okay, right.

Willie's 60 feet.

She's out of reach.

Wow, she did a Tom Cruise run.

High knees.

And then does that use its reaction, like its opportunity attack?

Could other people run past it now until its initiative?

Oh, unless it has a special ability that gives it extra reactions, that is how that would work.

It does not have any special abilities, so its reaction has been used.

So yeah, Zudrich, maybe now's the time.

I will run, I'll do my dash, and I will run across the room and get through the tunnel.

Well done.

Holy shit.

So as this thing is distracted by hitting off one of its little babies from the ceiling, Zudrick sprints across.

That is

turn.

Zudrick and Welly are out of reach.

Boggy, you are the only one left in this cave.

So it's going to reach out and try to grab you.

That is a 15 to hit.

Misses.

Fuck.

But it will have.

Now it has its reaction back.

Yeah.

It does have its reaction back.

All right, great.

So it's got its reaction back.

And now that is Boggy's turn.

Very good.

I see my friends running ahead.

I am going to follow in pursuit.

I say, take flight, Wellies, fellas.

And I run.

I do kind of like a waddly run after them.

And just to show off a little bit, I kick one of the gooey things as I'm going.

You kick a piece of goo like a soccer ball.

Fuck you.

It's going to make an opportunity attack.

This giant tendril shoots out to try to grab you, but it only gets a 10 to hit.

Nice.

So

you guys have all evaded.

the roper monster, which was insanely tough.

Really?

But you got past it.

I'll say I took a dash action so that I'm right up where they are as well.

Okay.

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Goodbye, sweeties.

Hey there, Nadpoles.

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Thanks, everybody.

Awesome.

So you guys have all evaded this cave beast as the cave continues to rumble and shake.

You're feeling your way across these streaked and uneven walls until you see the pulsing torchlight ahead.

This is the open elevator shaft.

If you remember, the earthen passage ran alongside the dungeon floor.

Backward again.

Retracing your steps, you find yourselves back in that lower corridor, prison to the infected monstrosities, snarfing testily behind the rusted iron bars, but you know where you're going.

You crawl across the sprung guillotine, sidestep the corpse of the monk alchemist in the laboratory.

Aw, memories.

And there, once again, is the open door to the barracks.

I haven't put Lila down yet.

Now I get to carry someone.

Hey!

I call to the birds.

The birds emerge from that room, flapping almost somberly.

They start bouncing along the corridor floor, and Wellie, Lila taps you on the shoulder and says,

You can

put me down if you want feelings for you.

What?

What?

What?

What?

I put her down and blush.

She looks at you for a long time after you put her down.

Whoa.

Okay.

She's really cute and all, but the crows are pretty somber, which is bad.

I don't know.

I guess let's run in.

Okay, you guys run in.

You don't hear any sound, but you see the same sights, dilapidated trunks, sunken beds.

Ahead, you see Faye's small frame resting on her mattress, lying still.

Fay, it's time to go.

As you say that,

a breath.

Shallow, faint, but alive.

Sal Soa Sal Nu.

While I breathe, I hope.

You remember the words carved on the castle.

Faye is too weak to speak, but as you approach, She raises her arms.

Like Lila, she'll need to be carried.

Not today, Inda.

Not today.

Hope, hope.

All right, you've got holding?

Yep.

You've got.

Oh, no, Lila actually can walk.

That was just sort of a momentary.

I'll take the hit for both of them.

Isn't her turn yet?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

We get it.

Yeah,

action economy and whatnot.

Lila takes like half a step forward towards you, but then sees what's going on, stops herself, and she backs into Boggy's arms as Faye gets into Welly's.

Yeah, I think I'll very gently roll her into my arms and I'll whisper Sal Soa Sel Nu to her and let's go.

Yeah, let's get out of here.

Let's go.

Okay.

All right.

You guys each have a body.

Holden, Faye, and Lila.

Another sonorous creak rolls through the chamber.

The walls begin to groan.

In the center of the room, a pillar splits with a thunderous crack.

The ceiling behind it tumbles down and a spray of rocks explode from the wall.

Everybody give me deck saves to avoid being pelted.

Oh boy.

Also, just so you guys know, you guys get a plus one to your saving throws because of the opal sunsword.

Sick, I just got an 11.

Okay.

I look at the opal sunsword.

Wow, magic really is real.

As a rock hits me directly in the face.

I got an 18.

Great.

21.

Cool.

You guys raise your forearms, bracing against the shower of stones.

Zudrick, as you look into the Opal Sunsword, mesmerize for a second.

A single rock pierces you right between the eyes

for three damage.

Should we have a race, fringe?

Oh, bonky back rides.

Let's go.

I feel like I'm sort of carrying a knight.

She's pretty strong.

Yeah, it's kind of unfair.

Sudrick, you resettle Sir Holden on your shoulder.

You

hang on tight, Lila.

We're winning.

And Faye is unsettlingly light.

So here you are in the shaking chamber.

You've rescued the girl you came for and another you didn't expect, but the ender is beckoning for the dawn hold now.

A thunderous crash from down the hall.

A plume of stone dust surges past the door.

It's time to go.

And here's how this is going to work.

This is a skill challenge.

You guys need to amass nine successes before six failures.

If you can do that, you will be able to escape before the castle crumbles.

And rather than roll for initiative, you can choose what order you act in.

You can use any skill as long as you describe how and why.

You can't repeat skills and you can't double them up in a given round.

The DC for every check is going to be 13.

You know what?

I'll kick it off.

Keep it super simple.

I've got a plus six to athletics.

I'm just going to run ahead and just kick through some boulders, shoulder essentially a path and just ram through walls ahead.

Hell yeah.

All right, so as you thunder forward, the floor is splitting below you.

Zudrick, you watch his entire bunks crash into the ground and disappear into blackness below.

The first thing you're trying to do is shoulder your way through all of these obstacles.

Give me an athletics check.

Okay.

17.

Woo!

Amazing.

All right, that is one success.

Okay, so then after Zudrick does that, I'm going to shout to throw me a rope, and then I want a sleight of hand to make a little zip line for everyone to cross this chasm.

Nice.

Awesome.

Okay.

Okay.

So, Zudrick, you bound across, you chuck Welly a rope, and Welly, having studied knots with Boggy, you whip your hands around dexterously, and you get.

Ooh, that's a 21 hell yeah that's two successes the kissing nuns beautiful knot okay uh boggy that leaves you boggy is really good at running away he's done it a lot of times uh so i think boggy is going to use perception to try and find the best route through uh this passageway he's gonna like eyeball uh where all the threats are uh and like look for like the safest the safest route through

okay sick so zudrick you shoulder your way across throw a rope to welly welly you tie on and you bring uh you and fay across and boggy the path is getting narrower and narrower but you're going to use perception to try to see if you can weave yourself through i'll use my coward sights to find the safest path

uh let me roll that perception uh i roll it with advantage because of my rod all right

nice rod nice rod Dirty 20.

Woo!

Okay.

Sensual 20.

Another success.

You guys are three for three as you duck into the corridor just as the barracks crash below you in a roar of splintered stone.

Here in this hall, you see thick roots slithering along the floor like constrictor snakes.

The tree above the catacombs is reclaiming the castle, choking it in a final embrace.

The roots aren't malicious, but they don't care about you either.

How are you getting through this next passage?

Okay, I will go ahead and use animal handling to send the crows ahead to peck at the roots

and hope that we can kind of jostle ourselves through.

That's great.

Okay.

The crows flap forward, pecking at the roots, and the roots kind of seize up and draw back, clearing a path.

Let's see that animal handling.

Okay, beaks are sharp.

Plus three.

Nat 20.

Fuck you.

All right.

Four successes.

Incredible.

You guys are five from glory.

All right.

That is Welly.

Okay, are the roots still a threat?

Yeah, they drew back back to create a path for Zudrick, but they are still kind of going through the stone and tearing it up.

Then I'm gonna hold up my twig and say, careful, little guys, or you'll turn into this

to the roots, and I want to do an intimidation.

That is a 19.

These roots slithering past as you raise up the braided twig and say that,

they almost pause for a second to try to understand what's going on, giving you just enough space to dart through the corridor as they continue.

After she does that, Boggy takes off his cloaks and his boots, bundles them up, hurls them across the room, and then as he takes all this off, you see that he's just wearing kind of like a big long piece of spandex, and he's going to try to Simone Biles just do several backflips.

Whoa!

This is going to be an acrobatics check.

So you run through this passage, kicking off the roots and basically Misty flipping through the air while holding Lila, who is screaming.

Why didn't you just run forward?

Holding Lila.

It's like a trapeze, but we're on the ground.

Everyone else just walked.

That's going to be a 16.

A 16.

Another success.

You guys

have gotten six successes here.

Okay, you're past the roots, and as you're pushing one another forward, a split in the wall sends a jet of freezing groundwater into the hall, hammering you like a battering ram.

The corridor lurches and you're shoved sideways and chest-deep water.

The doorway ahead falls, leaving just a small gap still open.

The water is rushing in.

Zuderic, you're first.

Okay.

Well, I'm running out of things that I'm good at, so I'll have to just do things that I'm okay at.

I carefully examine the scene and try to use insight to figure out a way out.

You see me stroking my chin as I start to drown.

Where did you get that magnifying glass?

Water coming up to your helm indubitably

he does have a pipe

okay as the water rises you ice in your veins uh stroke your helm okay try to get some insight what is the ability that you use a short rest for to do a d10 tactical mind tactical mind okay i'm gonna use tactical mind because right now i have a 12 so with tactical mind I only get a one, but that meets the D10.

It is 13.

I use all of my brain power to think of something that's not just like shouldering my way through the front.

Cedric, it's not the moment.

Hold on, my dear Willie.

This is a perplexing situation indeed.

Well said, Zerlock.

As you think, try to get any insight on the stone, a jet of water actually propels you through the gap and you make it through.

That is Willie's turn.

Okay, um, I actually want to use my ring.

Oh, the ring of swimming.

Just for fun, yeah.

So I'm gonna run run up the wall and then dive into this water and try to swim.

Now, I could do athletics, but just for fun, I want to do performance.

I want to do like a beautiful corkscrew dive.

Amazing.

I think I want to go for a butterfly,

even though there is a temptation to go for breaststroke.

I got a 10.

I'm going to tactical mind.

Oh my goodness.

Wellie jumps, kicks up off the wall.

You swan dive into the water.

I got a 10 on my tactical mind.

That becomes a dirty 20.

Oh,

okay.

So I think

I start with the butterfly, but I'm like, I got to be true to who I am.

And then I breaststroke.

You start doing the butterfly, but the force of the current is pushing you back.

And you say, you know what?

I have to do my strongest stroke.

And you breaststroke through the gap, bringing Faye to relative safety.

And that is just Boggy.

And Lila left.

You have eight successes.

You just need one more to get yourselves past this.

I look at this water piling up.

I can feel the chill emanating off of it.

And I turn to Lila.

I pull out my bottle of whiskey, offer us each a swig, and say, sometimes the best way through is in.

It's time for the annual polar bear plunge.

We love this.

Great.

So you take a a swill of whiskey, you pass it to Lila.

She downs a gulp.

And then you brace yourself and jump into the cold plunge.

Give me a survival check.

All right.

That's going to be an 11, but I'm going to use a tactical mind.

Two on my tactical mind dice, which is 13 exactly.

Wow.

We all had to use our tactical mind this round because we're getting fatigued.

Yes.

Yes, you are.

Please don't look.

My nipples are showing through my spandex.

Do not look.

I've never known you to be shy.

They're just oddly shaped.

They look like acorns.

Wow.

I'm really curious, but I actually really respect modesty, so I don't even look.

Boggy, after that reveal, you jump into this cold plunge and you're sucked through the gap and spit out into the hall.

The water cascades down the fissures below.

You emerge, all of you, coughing, soaked to the bone, staggering across this churning earth.

You've amassed nine successes and zero failures.

Yeah.

Hey, that's that fighter tactical mine.

You've passed the skill challenge, but chaos is still unfolding around you.

It's just a wall of noise.

Your vision is blurred by cascading debris, tremors in the earth that rattled your teeth.

But you look up and you see the night sky.

You realize enough of the castle has fallen away now to give you a path out.

The way is up.

Everybody, give me athletic checks to get yourselves out of this castle.

Okay.

Here we go.

Oh, yes.

22.

23.

10.

Let me do one more tactical mind.

I've got one left.

Okay.

Okay.

Oh, that's a 12.

Welly and Zudrick, in all of this chaos, you guys are pulling on tree roots.

You're pulling on rock.

You're flying up this cavern wall as the stone rips at your hands.

You guys are making your way to the top and you see Boggy begin to fall behind.

He cannot keep up with the earth tumbling away.

Boggy, give me a strength save to avoid falling down.

Okay, add one to this.

That's an eight.

Oh,

no, no, no, no.

Okay.

Wait, where?

Where's Hylon, Boggy?

Welly, Zudrick, with these bodies draped around your neck, you climb and climb, your fingers finally digging into the grass, cool and real.

You pull yourselves up, lurching forward on hands and knees, the ground still shaking underfoot, the roots of this massive tree plunging and twisting into the earth, churning it and closing the path below you.

You turn towards each other, locking eyes.

You two survived, but you look around.

Where is Lila?

And where is Boggy Roger?

Boggy?

Um, Boggy, Boggy, how far up did we climb?

You climbed about 25 feet up.

Okay, I'm going to,

based on where we we climbed up from, I'm going to assume he fell from there.

And I'm going to drop the opal sun sword down because there's a misty step on there.

Oh

my God.

Wow.

That's so fucking smart.

Wow.

I'm going to drop it down and say, Boggy, catch, and really hope that it goes, that it falls hilt first.

Amazing.

Catch what?

Oh,

okay.

So, first of all, Boggy, as you tumble tumble down, you take seven damage

and so does Lila.

She is on death's door.

Okay, so if Willie's move is to throw the swords down to Boggy, I think I'm going to look at Sir Holden's body and say, Sir Holden, I know you would have wanted this.

And I let go of Sir Holden and let Sir Holden fall into the darkness as the castle is crumbling to reach my lance down to try to grab Lila as she's falling with Boggy.

Oh, amazing.

So the Misty Step's only going to be able to grab one.

So I'm going to try to essentially, maybe I can even do like essentially like a launch attack to try to like lance through like a part of her armor or something to like catch her on it.

Okay.

Yeah.

Zudrick, you look into the helm of Sir Holden, knowing that she would yet again sacrifice her life, her remains, for Lila's life.

Welly, you drop the Opal Sun sword into the darkness, hoping against hope that Boggy is down there to catch it.

Sal Soa, Sal Nu, right, Faye?

And Boggy, you tumble headlong through this cavern, hitting the ground hard as loose stones and curtains of dirt continue to rain all around you.

You're bruised, broken.

You see Lila's crumpled body laying next to you as the roots close in above, the last light of the stars just about to be erased, and then, hurtling out of the darkness, a glimmer of hope.

The opal sun sword glints, wheels, and plummets past the vines and

stabs into the earth.

I think Boggy for a moment gives in to despair and says, back in the muck again, Rogers.

Maybe this is just where you belong.

And as he says that, this sword lands dangerously close to his toes.

I look up at Zudric and Welly.

Peering out over the ledge, I see the Indus tree outlined against the stars.

And I grin and say,

but what's a little more muck to a man of the ball?

I'm coming, lads!

And I'm going to grab the sword and try and misty step.

Okay.

So you rush forward, grabbing the sword out of the earth.

You have Lila on your shoulder, and as you run towards the wall, Boggy, you give her a shoulder up.

You give her a shoulder to stand on.

And Zuderik, you can make an attack with your lance that's not actually going to hit her, but just kind of connect

to her armor.

All right, I'll try to scoop her up.

She'll hold, then I'll take it from here.

Unless you get a Nat 1, seems like it would hit that.

Nat 20.

Wow!

Yes!

Damn, I'm looking good today.

Hell.

Dude, you've been feeling yourself ever since we found out that you look like Hayden Christensen.

Stop.

Wow, funny, hot, reliable.

What does this guy not have?

So, Boggy, just like earlier in your adventure, you find yourself at the bottom of a pit, but above you, Zudrick and Welly haven't given you up for dead.

They've hurled a legendary sword after you and crit on an attack to help rescue Lila.

And with their help, Lila grips onto Zudric's lance, is pulled to safety, and Boggy, you grip the Opal Sunsword, close your eyes, and with a flash of light, you find yourself laying on your back.

on the grass next to your companions, all of you chests heaving, staring up through the twisting branches of the towering oak tree.

Above you, the stars glitter clear and cold.

There's a fresh dew on the night grass, a crispness in the air, and all around you, the forest hums with a familiar rhythmic buzz.

Cicadas.

I've been waiting to see the stars since everything we found out.

I just collapse back and just am covered in crows and just lie there heaving.

Is anyone else getting a second wind from seeing the stars now that we know that they contain more than we realize?

Faye, wake up!

Wake up!

Look at the stars!

I do like to see the stars.

Winking at me.

In this case, it's good to have friends.

You say this to Faye, and you see her head just kind of loll over and her eyes rolling in the back of her head.

Short, shallow breaths.

She is fading before you guys.

Okay, okay, keep it together.

We're gonna get you to safety, and then we're gonna figure out a cure for you, okay?

Yes, right.

We'll get you to to Darwin Wednesday, and we'll take it from there.

Keep breathing.

Can we give her a potion or something?

Yeah.

Would that help?

Yeah, you guys can give her like a potion or do a medicine check, just try to stabilize her and give her more time.

Oh, I'd love to do a medicine check.

Okay.

I mean, I don't even have good medicine.

I just have a plus one, but I just want to.

Yeah, I think

I'll lay her down and sort of like, you know, fix her hair and get her all looking like herself and not like what the blacklist wants to turn turn her into.

Yes.

And I want to sort of lay my hands on her.

And I think instead I want to picture, I'm like so fascinated by the power beyond the gods, the wild power beyond the gods.

So instead of thinking of the gods, I'm going to

think of the stars and what made them gods to begin with.

Okay.

18.

18.

Yeah.

With an 18, you hold Faye's head, which is disturbingly light.

Her frame is so small right now.

But you lay her gently in the grass.

And Faye has been deep below this keep for a long time.

The cool night air brushing against her cheek, your hand just gently fluffing her hair, making her feel at ease.

She looks a little less...

tormented and a little more restful and like she's just breathing a bit easier.

She's putting her trust in you.

She can't do this herself, but she knows that you can do it for her.

And as you make this check, the wind blows through the leaves on the tree, and you see a constellation above glimmer with a sign of hope.

What's the constellation?

Do I know it?

You guys give me nature checks.

10.

18.

15.

Does anyone know that constellation?

With an 18.

Zudrick, out in the faraway fjords where the stars shine brighter than anywhere else in the realm, you know the names of all these constellations because sometimes you need to be guided home from a hunt or when you've spent years in one fruitless war and you have to make your way to another.

This constellation is called the Voyager, akin to the North Star.

This is the Voyager who chose us the way north.

Like the Lodestar.

Perhaps the star that the Lodestar himself followed.

Yeah.

And as you guys look at this constellation, Welly, on your braided twig, you see a glimmer that matches it.

And then the three of you remember the map that you made a copy of below, the map in the Knight's Armory, with this very same constellation, the Voyager, out beyond the land of Skaldova.

I clutch my not-so-broken compass.

I think you might have been right, Boggy, about writing news stories.

I say with a little bit of craziness in my eyes.

Your eyes are so white.

Let's voyage on to Darwin's place, I say.

Okay.

You guys pick up your wounded as the roots of this tree close over the dawnhold and all that you've left below, a final grave for the worthy and not-so-worthy alike.

The cistern and its dark poison is finally destroyed, and here, under the shining Voyager, surrounded by the song of the cicadas, you begin your trek through the forest toward Darwin's house.

And that's where we'll end our session.

Okay.

Oh, man.

I thought Boggy was done for.

I can't wait.

We need to remember the Misty step.

That was crazy.

I mean, I was sitting on that Misty step because I couldn't wait to see it in action.

And there wasn't a moment that I needed it.

Oh, my God.

That was perfect.

Wow.

Wow.

Really good stuff.

We'll talk more about this over on our Patreon, patreon.com slash NADPO.

That's N-A-D-D P-O-D.

Don't sing yet.

Don't do it.

And then we've got some things to plug.

We've got Dimension 20 at the Hollywood Bowl on June 1st.

Be on the lookout for that.

We also are going to be in Seattle on July 20th, and we're going to be in Vegas in November.

So check those out.

Search Dimension 20 Live and get your tickets now.

Hell yeah.

And check out my sub stack.

Does Emily have one yet, or is it just me?

I have to join yours.

I'm going to join yours and see what you're doing with the medium.

Oh, shit.

Then you'll never get on.

All of Jake's posts are about how Emily doesn't have one.

Just trolling Axford.

I'm trolling Axford over at substack.com slash Jake Kurwitz.

I want to give a plug to my friend Casey's book.

She just came out with a book.

It's called A Physical Education: How I Escaped Diet Culture and Gained the Power of Lifting.

It's about how she basically, you know, got swole.

And

it's just a book about lifting and getting your mind right and everything.

And it's great.

Cool.

Very cool.

Check that out.

What's the name of the book again?

A Physical Education by Casey Johnston.

Cool.

Now available in bookstores.

And

check that out.

And you can follow us on social media that Remy and Randa use at Seattle's Me, at Caldees Caldwell, at EXTROSE Emily, and at JCurtsJake.

And you can talk about the show online using hashtag NADPOD.

That's N-A-D-D-P-O-D.

We are, we are the youth of the nation.

We are, we are the youth of the nation.

It's the end of the show, and you know what that means?

It's time to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders, starting with Brad D., Jeffrey S., Lord of the Fjord, later Mixed Skater, Matt M, Cutter W, Jeff C, Daniel G, Danielle, the dastardly dame, Carpe Liam, Victor D.

Balnor's Boy, Hoyd's friend, Justin I, Danny Danster,

TJM, Trele the Cray Faye, Christopher B., Daniel R., Jordan L.

Cyborg version of Josh the Cobald, Targot, Stevie Waggs, Hellish Rebuker the NBDMPHD,

Princess Yar, Jory S, Jack L, Nicholas C, Star of Every Film Ever Made in Bohumia, Mike H., Elka Schmeltzer Plus, Great Valued Gemma, Tyler F., Carborough Chapel Hill FPV, Cece Lulu, Old Cobbs, Duncle, Older Burn, Erqu, Poirot, the Rabbit Folk Detective, Timmy R.

Reiko, Jakes, Jerk, Jelly, Hashtag CCC.

Whoo, you just keep.

You just keep putting poison in our mouths.

Taylor B.

Uh-huh.

Uh-huh.

Cass, Strong, Grinch.

Steven, shout out to Bowie the Troll.

C,

Mike K, Nick W, William W.

Big Bad Beard of Mad,

Eric McD, Ananorama, Percival Frederick Stein von Mussel, Klazowski, Derola III, Jay Dragonborn, Guardian of the Vibe, honoring the cock, Pithy Witch.

Oh, I like that.

Ben A.

Dave H.

Dustin S.

Not That Nick.

Danny F.

Hawkeye Pierce, Bookfart's assistant, Izzy F.

Big Bad John, DPC is awesome!

Shown the shade tree mechanic of Zelbildar, Summer Rose Grand Terre, Mark the Dark Lord's Taint

Cat C, Misa of House and Zunza, Ariel the occasional mermaid, Selena and Valaci Raptor, B, Perky, always,

Pat L, Lauren H, Serve 16, Annie, the Faywild Therapist, Pierogi Frenzy,

Connor S.

Salil.

BioQuirt 7.

Amber Dextrous.

Bean Rat Was Innocent.

Trub Hopdropper.

Jack H., King of the Mole People under Iron Deep, dressed in blue and fighting his way through a bracket style tournament.

Valen.

Paj, the bitchin' bunny bard, Druidic Peyton, Carlin C.

Noah, the bullywug boy, hashtag honor the cock, James James G, everything Bago the Eladron who just wants to hang out with his pet badger Stripey, Reverend Chatterbones, Han,

Eric B.

Marcos, learns the balance druid, Frida M.

Maggie, Holly the green laughing hyena, Cal misses the D5s with all her heart, Aaron B.

Russell H, a monk named Dilgo, Cody C, Lorelei, the succubi, and Kira the succulent snack.

McKenna S.

Your friendly neighborhood yaunt and yunkle, Andrew and Sid.

John Adams, we can be done with presidential puns.

Meg, the mail carrier of Bahumia.

James F.

Austin S.

Wayfair now has to do something with the trolls.

Get rid of them, turn to page 42.

Keep them, turn to page 69.

Oreo, Shane C.

Burpa, Good Barrel Barbarian, Garrett G, one big curd, Charlie Brown's best friend.

Wow, that sounds like Murph.

Renee, the monster captain, Olivia, the Enchanting Bard, and Jared, the soap opera cleric who will be auditioning for Callie's acting troupe.

You're in.

Blue Ash, Fico, Garrett, the Artificer, Valkyrie, the Gert Sea Brother, Anthony, the radish of dudes.

Jay, the fairies have amended all their ways and are volunteering at their local petting zoo.

Can't trip Dumbledore, the fair onesie-wearing barbarian.

Lexi loves the two crew, MJ the BFG, Roger L., Nodrog, the pass-a-fist barbarian, John Luca, Leon Komori, legendary hero of Bahumia from a future campaign, shenanigans O'Connor, Mios the Great, Joshua S., Alexander, Linz W, Sky the Wise, aka the lone dungeon master.

Johnny Dude K, the mischief of Nadpot's familiars.

Pavu Eskinar, the Goliath Paladin providing service with a smile.

Kit and their cat.

Hello to your cat.

Tim M.

Tiles L, T R, M L G Cheeto Shall B Kenna's first favorite sprite girl.

Thank you, DM Her Kritz, for a beautifully poetic romp in Skaldova.

By Ender's Anderslight, We Shall Return.

Jet S.

Snellis, who's infecting or susur-sir-sir from within.

A bone flute literally tells a story when played.

Papa Sky Days, Mima Sky Days, Megan N.

Kaysan, the Jester Jouster, Anthony B.

Savannah H.

Balnor's best friend Steve, Stephanie of House and Zunza, Benjamin A.

Gimli the Corgi, Pawpaw and Foster's canine friend, Michael A.

Josh H., pilot of the nightmare-verse flight.

The two crew blew through: Jennery, Kelsey A., Ethan the Mailman, Maple the Shy Bookworm, Ashosaurus, Billy Batson, Tori the tungsten dracoose, accidental sharer of recipes, Michael Lyle, S.

the Second, Carl B., Plumber of the Realm, Dex Ritelwell, Hannah A.

Ace Drex, High Lord of Critzburg, Vin Diagram, Catamilius the Consumed, Clinton P.

Cam the Frogman, Dean Jake W.

Hi Mom, Tuesday Cross, Boo,

Steve L, Tyler M, Alex G, Zibba the Baccary, Kaylee, Katerina C, Mystery the Crispy Kitty, really hates flame skulls.

Greg W.

There's so many of us now, but hey, you're doing great and we love you.

Thank you.

We love you too.

Baruke Thunderhelm, fifth generation Minotaur working as an abandoned labyrinth tour guide.

Chubac Aubrey, Boney is dead.

Cohen Pace, the Duke of Silk's missing son.

The Waterworth, Nick, Amy, Aegis Kunari, Ignition Class Petal Storm, Nadia the Dice Druid, Druid, a distant relative of both Welly and Moonshine.

It turns out it all comes back to the crick.

Charlemagne, not the god.

DJ Dramamine, Alrek von Zarovic.

My favorite patron makes me say penis on my show.

As if I wasn't already saying it.

And finally, Jessica with a G.

Thank you all so much for your support.

We love you.

Goodbye, sweeties.

That was a hit gum podcast.