Skaldova - Ep. 6: The Solar Knights

This is a head gum podcast.

Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.

This is not another DD podcast.

Welcome back to Skaldova, everybody.

Skaldova!

Haunting.

I'm your dungeon master, Jake Hurwitz, here with Brian Murphy.

Floored by the appearance of a regular boar, Zudrick of the Murder.

Emily Axford.

From literal trash to sporting a new cloak clasp, it's Willie Hamdam.

Something seems different.

I can't put my finger cut, I think.

Yes.

And of course, we've got Caldwell Tanner.

Oh, who's that man tossing chairs at nerds and tripping big birds and acting absurd?

Why, it's Boggy Rogers, haven't you heard?

Oh, that's good.

Get a trip of

Before we get too far along in that song, how about a little recap?

Okay, no, thank you, who Jake.

Stop, dude.

You're rude.

Called, well, you're outvoted.

Okay,

I respect democracy.

Last time, our three weird warriors parlayed with Victus and Marvis, quote-unquote, parlayed.

Two members of these scared ones.

They confirmed that the missing travelers you seek are in the depths of the castle before you hucked benches at them, killed them, and stole their robes.

You fought off a dexterous hook horror, and Wellie slyly outfitted herself in sunburst sigils, and then you outsparted an elevator to arrive in the lower levels of the castle.

We're so fucking smart.

Just imagining an archaeologist is like putting on something they found while digging everything up and the fellow archaeologist not noticing.

Did you put a raptor tooth in your mouth?

These are my teeth.

However, upon prying open the door of the lift, you found yourselves directly in the path of a rampaging boar.

And that is where we are now.

Oh, score!

There's a boar!

Stop!

You're regular!

You're regular boar!

That's good eating, friends!

It's a boar hunt!

A boar hunt!

Perhaps!

Or maybe this boar is kind!

My God, I've left my boar pick at the camp!

Zudi, let me borrow yours.

Okay, I try to go through my stuff.

As Zudrick plunges his hand into his satchel, this hulking boar tears down the passage, passage, its thick hide scraping against the stone.

The narrow corridor is barely able to contain the crazed animal as it barrels toward you, bashing its tusks against the wall, gouging the rock and sending jagged bits of it flying.

Everybody, go ahead and give me deck saves to avoid being trampled and or gored.

How freaking huge is this boar?

Yeah.

This is a giant boar.

Okay.

So bigger than what a huge boar would be in real life.

Right, exactly.

It's like the size of a of a Volkswagen for those listening at home.

Whoa.

Whoa.

Freaking dolphin.

I rolled so fucking bad.

You have heroic inspiration.

Ooh, yeah.

I will use heroic inspiration.

Oh, that's much better.

That's an 18.

Okay.

Nice.

And I got a 22.

I slow-motion dive as I scope the boar's flanks.

And Wellie got an indecent 20.

Amazing.

All right.

So you guys all save.

You are, you're frozen for a second, but you dive back into the shaft as the boar thunders past you, a wall of muscle so close that you can feel the heat streaming from its body and smell its primal sweat.

Oh, gaming.

Oh my god, primal sweat.

How the hell did this boar get down here?

This is a regular boar, not a monster boar.

Wait, so that's the sweat that all of their sweat comes from.

Indeed.

The original sweat.

The original sweat.

Divine sweat.

Zudrick, you can deduce that the scared monks have been kind of keeping animals down here to try to transform them and make them into monstrosities with black lace.

And this boar was too strong to be contained.

And now it's basically freaking out.

And it continues to storm through this dungeon.

A breathing battering ram with tusks as strong as steel.

It pummels its massive body against all of the other barred doors and may begin to fracture and bend from the blows.

You can hear unsettling screeches from the dark cells beyond with each clang against the barricades.

And then a rustling from behind you.

The lifeless monks, gored, trampled, deceased.

They're standing up.

Everyone, roll initiative.

Ah, okay.

Other people challenging for this meat.

15.

I think they're hungry for something else.

Six.

Sudrick, you should try to get that boar on our side.

Animals, listen to you.

I've seen, I think Tabitha has a crush on you.

What?

That's insane.

She's always preening you.

We're of the murder.

We're of the same.

Is there no.

You're a crass, Willie.

Is there no

dating inside the murder?

I appreciate blue humor, but this is crass.

Okay.

I got an 18.

Okay, with an 18, Boggy, you are first.

You have this wild boar, which is regular ass, but in a rampage.

And then there are six undead monks, undead scared ones, who are rising and drawing their weapons.

Sweet Ender.

Well, I certainly don't want them to get their grubby mitts on our sweet prize boar, so I will start.

Who cares?

We want the boar to fight them, right?

Oh, but oh, yeah, so it can tire itself out so that we can chase it down and stab it.

Sure.

No, we need to release the boar.

This whole adventure's into the battle.

We have only four or five hours of not starving right now.

We just need to not die.

Maybe you come from a privileged place where you can pass up free boar.

This boar is the size of the water.

I know we don't know what a Volkswagen is, but it's the size of some kind of

right.

It's like a Volkswagen golf, I see, yes.

We all understand that, inherently.

Let's just get let's get these zombies in the way of the boar and get ourselves out of the way of the boar.

I'd rather use them as a mount.

Oh,

interesting.

Okay, that's what it's right.

We shall name you Jetta.

All right.

Zudrich brings up a good point.

Perhaps I should try to lure these zombies into a singular column as if we're playing a game of nine pins.

I don't think you can get all of these zombies into a big pile for the boar, but if you're trying to use your action, I'll let you try to grapple two and put them in the path of the trampling boar.

Cool, yeah.

It's much more than meat, I'm coming to realize.

We just eaten recently, I feel.

Oh, the bog deer goes right through you.

You're the one who's all about the bog, Boggy.

Okay, Boggy, give me an athletics check.

I'm going to do it opposed because these undead monks are going to try to resist.

All right, I might need to use my tactical mind for this one.

That's a 15.

Okay, you beat their 14.

Yes.

You go toe-to-toe with these monks, their sickles glistening, and you wrap your arms around them and try to divert them into the path of the boar.

Wellie, that's your turn.

Okay,

I want to try to knock the first one in the path prone, hoping that they'll all fall like dominoes

and then i want to try to maybe jump up to the roof or up to the ceiling and hold myself like in an action movie oh sick like standing off the walls

um glorious so i'll take my attack first

okay does a 25 hit just barely hits this undead monk in a rogue

this naked dead dude yeah you know these guys are naked under the robes

what it's confirmed that 16 damage and then he has to make a con saving throw or fall prone okay well he actually is dead so he's definitely going to fall in the path of the boar

but these guys have zombie stats so he's going to roll and see if he pops back up with one hp okay

he certainly does not okay okay

wellie just assumes that he's successfully prone and then i want to jump up to the ceiling to try and hold myself to be out of the way of the boar

The boar stomps on his head.

His head explodes.

He was already dead, but well, you can definitely take credit for that.

All right, that is the boar's turn.

I was planning on having the boar basically roll a luck check to see if it goes after you or these monks.

And Boggy, since you grappled some of them, I'll have it roll with advantage to go after the monks.

And there you go.

The boar will go after a monk instead of you guys.

I planted some kernels of corn in their pockets.

Oh my god, it got a 23 to hit and that is 11 damage.

So this other zombie is already on death's door from the boar.

And now

I'm going to have one of you guys roll a death save for one of the barred doors.

Basically,

if these doors get three fails, then the boar has gotten through one and another horror is going to come out.

Okay, I'll roll one.

Eight.

That is one fail.

Okay.

What the fuck fuck are you doing, Murph?

From my elevated position, can I peek in through the bars to see what is starting to get loose?

There are actually six different dungeon cells, and you're going to roll randomly to see which one busts open.

Oh.

Wow.

Each cell houses a different horrifying beast.

And that is Zudrick's turn.

Okay, can I look and see what is beyond this room?

Because I don't necessarily need to have it out with this boar.

I just look at the zombies and the boar killing each other, and I'm just like, let's keep going.

So, down this hallway, you see it's lit with torches, and there is like a wide stone staircase that goes a short way down into a room that's like a glow with a light from a brazier.

Okay.

And behind you, there is a dark pathway that leads to like a sealed door.

Oh, boy.

Should we check out this brazier room and then go to the sealed door?

My only thought is that we should finish off the zombies so they don't administer black lace to this boar or any of the other creatures.

All right.

At this point, I guess I'll just stab the boar.

Whoa, yes.

Yes.

I don't know.

I'm going to tell Tabitha about this.

Tabitha knows me and Tabitha eat meat.

We're not vegetarians.

Like on a date?

No, we're not.

This humor is not humor.

It's not humor, so Jerk.

I'm dead serious.

I'm dead serious.

The birds.

We're in a polycrow.

We understand.

I'm not in any kind of poly.

You guys are pissing me off.

I attack the boar.

Use it.

Kill this boar.

Okay, go for it.

God damn it.

Two.

A two to hit?

Yeah.

You all know

fucking saturated.

It'll happen.

Yeah, don't you know?

Murph has a negative two to hit.

So he rolled a four, but then it was.

He's a wizard.

Short, everyone.

You know why Zodrico is the butt of the joke?

Zadric language.

What?

Okay, that misses the boar's AC.

Okay, I'm gonna pretend I didn't attack the boar.

I just like put my sword to the side and pretend I'm looking out at the brazier room.

Felic, I should check out that brazier room.

Can I run down to the brazier room and see what's going on in there?

Sure.

So you like swung your sword and then placed it into the scout.

Can I do it 10 feet?

Hold on.

Can I poked at?

Hold on.

Can I do an inside check to see?

You could have scouted.

Can I do an inside check to try and see if that that suture?

Yeah, you can roll,

and Cedric, you can roll deception.

I got a nat one.

Oh.

I got a nat one.

We're on the ceiling.

I got a 17.

Freaking.

Whoa, it looks so intentional.

Cedric, that fake out.

That's so smart.

Did you faint?

Yeah, I need to scout ahead.

Clever, clever.

Okay, what's in the brazier room?

I use all my movement to get in the brazier room.

Okay, so you're going to sprint ahead after intentionally missing the boar to the brazier room.

All right, we'll resolve that on your turn.

For now, that is the zombies.

There are only five of them now.

So three of them will go after, are going to stab up into the ceiling, trying to stab it.

Welly.

Wellie, spider crawl.

Well, you're just not that high up.

You should have gone to the brazier room.

A 12, a nine, and a gnat one to hit Welly.

Wow.

They all missed.

They're jumping weakly from the stone.

Holtz Ray, I'm squirming up here.

I'm like a ceiling fan.

Just swinging around.

Just out of reach.

Her lat strength is incredible.

Two of them will go after Boggy.

That is an 18 and a 19.

Okay.

Turn around and crack Boggy with like perfect boxer form.

Oh man, I am sorry.

But that is only actually since they both hit that is 14 damage.

Jesus.

Oh,

my breadbaskets.

Why is it?

The plan was the brazier room.

That's Boggy's turn.

I'm going to try and skip back a bit, fire an arrow at one of the zombies using a trip attack.

Okay.

All right.

So make an attack on one of these little monks.

Is that a 21 hit?

Sure does.

Okay.

Do you want to be attacking the one that has four HP or full?

Full.

Okay.

So that's four damage, but they are going to need to do a strength save.

Okay.

Absolutely crit.

Congratulations.

Everyone's so dexterous and strong.

Everyone just kept working on their balance down here.

Let me see if there's anything else I can do.

I'll go and use my second win.

Why not?

That's a bonus action.

Nice.

I'll take a swig of this golden whiskey as I run.

All right.

You're getting a little bit buzzed.

The hunt is on.

Well,y, that's your turn.

Okay, can I drop onto the boar's back and attack from there?

Fuck.

Just for fun, not for any strategic advantage.

Yeah,

you can definitely do that.

14 to hit does hit the zombies.

I'm using my great axe now, so I'll be able to cleave into the one, so I'm hitting the one next to the one that has four life left.

Oh, okay.

So the one that has full.

You're just on a fucking giant boar.

That's awesome.

So 14 damage to the one that's full, and then nine damage to the one with four hit points left.

Amazing.

They both fall down dead, and they're going to make their zombie things.

One rolled a seven, the other rolled a two.

So they both stayed down.

And now you're you're on this bucking boar which is thrashing i think i'm gonna bonus action might of the gods and have advantage on strength checks and strength saving throws to stay on the boar

oh all right great so you grow in size as you drop down from the roof of the corridor you land on the boar it's almost like your legs extend wider than they should to be able to mount the beast how is she so good at strabling give me a strength save to stay mounted.

Come on.

16.

16 just passes.

And I'll also let you give me an animal handling check to see if you can calm this board down since you did just stab two of the people who were tormenting.

Okay, I get it.

You're...

You're so energetic, and you don't know where to put that energy because everywhere feels taboo.

Calm it down till the meat is more tender.

Good idea.

That is a gnat one.

Okay, so this board did not buck you off, but it still is freaking the fuck out.

I've inflamed it.

Jetta, please.

We mean you no harm.

And I will roll raw this time to see if it attacks you or the zombies.

Okay.

And there you go.

It's going to attack the remaining three zombies and does another eight damage to one.

All right, so we have two full health monks and one very, very hurt monk left.

The one who just got gored.

Yeah.

Feel free to keep exploring.

I think I've got the situation under control.

That was the plan for me to faint and then run ahead.

So, yeah, all agreed.

Yeah, I know.

Tactical genius.

And then, lastly, there's going to be another death save for the door from the boar.

Okay.

Ooh, 16.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay, all right, that's a pass.

And now let's resolve Zudrick, who fainted at the boar and sprinted ahead.

I just miss in one motion.

Turn around and Naruto run out of the room.

With like a victory pose.

All right.

Your armor clangs down the hall, and at the end of the passage, you find a broad stairway of smooth worn steps where the warm glow of the brazier spills softly from the chamber below.

A short descent down brings you into a wide guard room.

Here you find two sagging cots and a worn round table and several crooked chairs.

This room is empty.

On the far wall is a once proud, now crumbling and defaced mosaic.

Half the tiles are cracked and fallen.

And to your left is an opened steel door flanked by torches.

To your right is a bulky wooden bookcase, mostly empty.

God damn it.

I thought there was going to be someone I could kill in here.

I start shaking the bookcase.

Cursed puzzles.

I just pick up.

I'm going to try to just fucking pick up the bookcase and toss it.

Zudrick is so mad about missing.

Oh, no.

Zudrick, tell me also the jokes about Tabitha.

All right, Zudrick is angry.

He's taking it out on a bookcase.

You guys keep on fighting books.

Roll a strength check.

You can give me an attack, too.

Okay.

That's just a 12.

Okay, you crack your fist into this bookcase.

And it is, it does not budge an inch.

Okay, it doesn't budge.

Is there any...

I just scan the books furiously.

Yeah, sure.

You have time to give me a perception check.

You are pissed, but you're taking it all in.

Okay, that's 19.

So within 19, you see the open door behind you looks like a small armory.

There's clearly some story that you can deduce from the mosaic if you study it.

With your 19, you also see above this bookcase, the stone is arched.

Oh, yeah.

It looks like all of the other doorways in this castle, but something is blocking it.

The bookcase is blocking it, right?

For sure.

Yeah.

Keep fucking thrashing at the bookcase.

Is it another scholar trap?

Yes, it is.

They're freaking bookworms down here.

So Cedric just pounds at the shelves, and that is the zombies.

There are three of them left.

Okay.

Two of them will attack.

Oh, wow.

Well, Welly's on this board, so I think they're actually gonna back away from you.

All three of them are going to attack Boggy.

What?

That's a 14, a 16, and a 22 22 to hit.

The 16 and the 22 hit.

Oh, wow, they both hit.

Friends, we can share this meat.

There's plenty to go around.

Okay, only seven damage for you.

Okay.

And that is back around to your turn.

So there's three zombies left.

A boar is fast approaching me and my position.

I am going to pull a small vial out from under my cloak and drizzle oil on the ground to try and make the boar slip as I proceed down into the brazier room as well.

Okay.

Welly, hold on.

So you're gonna try to trip the boar with Welly on its back and you're going to join Zudrick in the fight against the bookcase.

Indeed.

I've heard the rallying cry that scholars' dark magics are afoot.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

I'm so mad.

So Zudric sounds like he's in trouble and it alerts Boggy, who leaves Welly alone with three zombies and a boar.

I can only imagine what righteous quests Zudrick Zutric is on right now.

The birds are going nuts.

I'm trying to lift the bookcase wall being in front of it so books are just pouring out on me and I'm just screaming fuck.

And that is Welly's turn.

Okay, so I'm gonna try and attack one that's full but next to the one that has five.

Okay, nice.

18 to hit.

Does.

16 damage and 11 damage to the other one.

They are definitely both they're both dead here.

Who would know that you could do so much by staying and hitting?

As a bonus action, I want to clasp my hands together, clutch at my sunburst sigil, and say, Lodestar guide me, he'll protect me, ender embrace me.

And then I want to try to whisper kind words into the ear of the boar.

Awesome.

Okay, give me another animal handling check with advantage.

14.

14 is still not quite gonna do it.

This boar is very disturbed.

Very angry.

And these zombies are going to roll to see if they pop back up.

One crit.

So one remains down, but the second zombie pops back up with one HP.

And that is the boar's turn.

And Boggy, you splashed a bunch of oil before you fled.

So I'll have the boar roll again.

uh with advantage and it's going to go after the zombie yes yes it knocks out that zombie with one uh one hp

there's one final undead monk here and also now, Welly, I'm gonna need you to give me a door death save to see if these barred doors hold.

Okay,

16

16.

That's two passes.

These monsters are still continuing.

The doors hold in the dawn hole.

That is Zudrick the bookcase.

Oh, my God.

Zudrick, you're up.

Oh, yeah, I'm just attacking this bookcase.

Come on, now.

11 to hit.

Wait, no, 12 to hit.

You

don't, you connect with the the bookcase.

OJC doesn't have

to be a good one.

It doesn't budge.

You can hit the wood, but it doesn't move.

Zodric, there's a limit to the amount of feints you should do.

I'll action surgeon.

Did you?

Did you try to feint the bookcase?

No.

You can't downsmart the scholars.

I fought seven dudes, okay?

Oh, my God.

There's another boar down here, and he's dead.

I cleaned it up.

Yeah.

Clean it up.

I cleaned it up.

Indo's back, Cyan.

Everyone, shut up.

I'll be an action surge, and I'll do an athletics check, I guess, to try to lift it.

Yeah.

Fucking come on.

I think he and the crows are on the rocks.

There you go,

Cedric.

Using all of your anger and white, you drive your shoulder into the bookcase and press your legs against the stone, and it finally groans and creaks into life.

You push it to the side, and it reveals what it was hiding, a dark, hidden archway.

a cold draft blows from the room beyond carrying the scent of autumn and something older whoa i naruto run in the room

okay like a garbage truck the amount of noise you make zedric disappears clanging into the room

i just need to do something this combat

and this final zombie is going to you know it's going to just try to poke at the boar uh to see if it will buck welly off and it does hit the boar uh it's going to do, I mean, a very insignificant amount of damage.

But Welly, give me an athletic save to not get bucked off.

Okay, okay.

I'll do this with advantage because I have the might of the gods.

23.

23.

All right, you stay on top of this boar.

Well clinched.

You and I, we have a dance yet to dance.

And Boggy, that's your turn.

Keep the scholars at bay, Zudrich.

I'm coming.

I'll just go ahead and fire an arrow at this remaining zombie.

Okay, give me an attack.

Woo.

Okay.

22.

Whizzes by the bucking boar right under its hooves and plunges into the monk.

Roll your damage.

Eight damage.

This thing is already close to dead.

And Welly, that is your turn.

I'm going to take out my maw and try to get it prone.

Dirty 20.

Sorry, indecent 20.

Tawdry 20.

It hits this monk.

A blushing 20.

17 damage.

Nope.

Nope.

Yes, 17 damage.

I rolled two sixes.

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

Because of my savage attacker.

Completely decimated and actually literally can't roll enough to get up from that.

So your maul crashes into this monk's head, bashing it against the stone corridor.

You find yourself now.

on top of the boar alone in the hallway.

It is beginning to calm down, so the DC has lowered twice now.

You can roll one more animal handling check.

I wrote it the first two lines of a sonnet, but unfortunately, I haven't gotten to any rhymes yet.

But I feel like this boar is the perfect chance to try.

Oh, that this life is an unending plight, but the sun and spring, a needed reprieve.

Sorry, it doesn't rhyme yet.

I've been in the heat of battle, so I've been trying to pen down sonnet lyrics whenever, like in between swings and whatnot.

I know it's not there yet.

It's stupid.

I don't even know why I tried.

You know what?

I should just get off of you.

I

suck.

Welly, the boar whisperer, becalming these wild beasts.

Give me an animal handling check with advantage.

Okay.

Okay, I'm gonna use my tactical mind because apparently it does, I don't lose it unless it succeeds.

19.

Welly, as you whisper to this boar that you suck,

you grip its flanks, smelling its primal sweat, and you feel its muscles shudder and relax.

Its breathing begins to slow and it kneels down in the stone passageway.

Maybe you don't suck after all.

Wow.

I think I bow down and I say thank you for it is from your sweat glands that all sweat flows.

You are a river from once the rest of us stink.

But in a good way.

You know how sometimes sweat smells kind of good, Mr.

Boar?

Sir Boar, sorry.

I didn't mean to drop your title.

Gosh, I'm really floundering.

Yes, one more second, Willie.

The boar gives you a satisfied snort

and circles around and then lays down in the hall.

That's really cute.

I don't think I have anything to give him from my rucksack.

We should just try to get him out, right?

Is there like, oh, that elevator's fake.

Be careful with the elevator.

it crushed you but it did raise before so theoretically

so heavy I want to try to um lead him to the elevator and then um

I do have mind of the gods right now that I can try and lift him up in the elevator I come back okay I don't know from whence you come but return young Sir Boer Sir Willie are you sure about this no of course not absolutely not to say goodbye to a feast.

That is a bold maneuver.

Well, now that you're calling him a feast,

I formed a connection with him on his back.

Okay.

So the boar

rises, shakes its fur.

Wellie prods it into the elevator.

Here, boy.

Here, boy.

Just throwing bits of zombie meat

down in the hallway.

Yum, yum.

This boar's deep, deep eyes look at you, forming a connection as if saying thank you as it settles onto the floor of the elevator.

And since Zudric came back, you guys can, and you're all working together to heave on these ropes.

And I have Might of the Gods.

Yeah, okay.

Zudrick, watch out for the oil, by the way.

It's everywhere.

Oh, geez.

Yeah, I didn't fall when I came back up, just so everyone knows.

Really?

Then why do you have oil all over you?

Because I put it all over me so I would slide.

What a waste of cooking oil.

All right, so let's go ahead and do the ultimate tricep pull down.

Sorry, push down.

That's right.

Okay.

Keep your back straight, eyes straight ahead.

Boggy's going to grunt, but not help.

Okay, Boggy's directing.

Willie, give me a strength check.

Cedric's snapping at Boggy.

Heave.

Shut up.

15.

Someone's got to say heave.

15.

That's going to get the lift in motion.

It's moving.

You're heaving and heaving.

With 15, it's only going to get it halfway, and you'll need to make another check that beats a 15, or it's going to fall.

I'll give you a help.

Okay, okay.

I have more leave.

I can fly.

I did worse that time.

Can I use my tactical?

Yeah, you're helping.

You are helping.

Okay, so I'll use my tactical.

So that's D10, right?

Yeah.

Fuck.

Three.

How much did you get?

Well, then that makes it better.

I got a 14 plus three becomes a 17.

Okay.

There you go.

Incredible.

More with your back.

So it's not.

That's a pulling muscle.

It's like a proper tricep pushdown.

Really feel it in the lower back.

I think this is why you guys are dislocating your shoulders all the time.

The boar is so heavy, now we're just hanging upside down, having to use our legs.

Now he's right.

Now we have to pull.

Wait, in the middle of it, I just realized we have to do this all over again with the six other animals that are in the room.

Well, I go to pick the lock.

Let's check the condition first.

Do we feel that the boar has escaped?

I mean, we feel the weight lessened.

Yes, so Wellie yanks this boar halfway up, and her strength almost fails her.

She feels herself getting pulled up the elevator shaft, the whole entire thing, threatening to come down.

And Zuderk's hand, after working out hard against the bookcase, grabs the rope, you have a palm, hauls it down.

Tucker.

You feel the lift rise, and then you hear a rumble as the boar leaps off.

The weight shifts in your hands, and you know that the boar has escaped and is charging about in the castle up above.

I suppose

the boar's on like the third floor.

it's definitely just gonna smash through a wall we've given it we've given it the tools it needs to survive i think that it's the boar's castle now honestly i agree

i agree this is honestly boar castle i agree

okay now let's go to the other room and help the other animals

songs will be sung of the boar prince here's the thing i eat meat but i respect nature okay it is not natural to have a bunch of beasts in cages to then turn them into monsters.

Okay,

exactly.

If we catch, if the boar is still up there and we want to eat the boar later, that's very good.

Yeah, if we get it, get a reprieve on the beast.

Yeah, that will make it taste even better.

All right, let's poke our heads in this cage.

Okay, so you guys approach these cells, and as you do, the beast inside erupt into motion, hurling themselves against the bars with murderous ferocity, claws and pincers lashing out between the iron gaps.

Pincers, huh?

Oh, they're laced to the gills.

Yeah, bizarre tendrils.

Oh, yeah,

tendrils.

Okay.

These guys are gnashing teeth.

You know what?

I'm going to try and, with my strength of the gods, like rip a cornerstone out of the doorway to try and collapse it so that they can't come out.

Let's just pretend that cage never exists.

Indeed.

You're in the domain of the boar prince now.

Yeah.

So you guys are going to leave these animals alone.

Yeah.

Wellie, do you want to try to collapse part of the

I think I'm just going to leave them as an unknown quantity.

Yeah, let's just take like another, but well, let's board it up a little bit.

I'll take some of the other bars.

Board it up.

Now you're having fun.

I'm in there.

Maybe try to reinforce it.

Like, kind of just say, like,

zombies did this to you.

If you do get out, you should be mad at it.

We'll put like a zombie

frame them.

We'll have like bars and zombies handling.

Maybe we should feed them some of the zombie.

Yeah, we'll just talk about it.

They're probably hungry.

Once they have a taste for it.

Nice, yeah.

I mean, they're already eating the black lace.

Right.

All right.

You carve an arrow, point it to a zombie body, says this guy.

As a tentacle whizzes by my ear, I just dust my hands off.

Welcome.

And solve this puzzle.

Anyway, so.

Now take me to that dangerous subterranean fight you were going through.

Okay, so it was like this cage, except they were all out.

There was like a tentacle monster and whatnot.

You fought a tentacle monster?

How did you best it?

I just stabbed it with my lance and then I cleaned it up.

Zuzer, careful the oil again.

Yes, whoop!

Slide.

Okay, yeah, so I moved this bookcase that was well guarded, like I said, and beyond it was just a dark room that I was going to run into.

It's so crazy because usually when you fight, you get blood everywhere, but right now it's like there's less blood on you than normal.

There's no blood on the floor.

Okay, right, and you might think that that's a some kind of strange cover story that's inconsistent with the way that I am, but did I not say that I cleaned up?

Oh, sorry.

No, I was trying to compliment you saying, like, oh, your technique is out of data.

I feel like everyone thinks I'm getting defensive here, but really I'm just defending myself, okay?

Yeah.

It's just, oh, I'm sorry.

Am I on trial here?

No, it was a compliment.

Great.

You know, good.

Yeah.

You cleaned up.

We all did good last fight.

We can all agree.

I agree.

That was an incredible team.

Great work, everyone.

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Thanks, everybody.

Okay,

like I said, there was this bookcase.

Guarded.

Guarded.

Okay, so you guys find yourself in this wide guard room.

So, crudely splashed across this mosaic is a new sigil drawn in dark blood.

It's a black chalice.

You recognize this, the clasps from the scared ones above.

This is their sigil.

Oh, yeah.

Behind it, you can still make out the mosaic, and it's a sunburst, but instead of the rippling rays, it appears that each beam is a different weapon.

You see a sword, a lance, an arrow, and a streak of purple lightning.

You might be able to deduce that that's a spell.

Matching.

Whoa, wait, is this our weapons?

I see a bow.

I see an arrow.

I see.

I use a maul and a great axe.

Oh, okay.

Sorry, I was just, I saw a lance and I just jumped.

Yes.

Yeah.

You can give me a perception check.

10.

Okay, with the 10, you see, those are the weapons that you see, and there are plenty of these tiles that have chipped and fallen.

So it's totally possible that all of your weapons could have been represented here.

And with your 10, you also see carved in the stone above the mosaic the words Gweth Bareth Rainor, which translates, as Welly could tell you, to kinship of the solar knights.

Solar Knights?

There was an order of knights serving the Princess Lenark.

She had mages in her.

Is that what that strange purple snake is?

Magics?

Oh, you mean the lightning?

Yes.

Oh, yeah.

Have you not experienced lightning?

For sure.

There was a lightning so much.

right here.

It's just drawn.

It's just drawn like a purple snake.

I just thought, well, if you're fighting, will you fight with lightning?

No, you'd throw a purple snake with someone.

You live in a bog.

All the other ones are weapons.

Why would lightning isn't a weapon?

Are you saying there are people that could harness lightning?

Yes.

That is from the age of stories.

There was a belief that magic was abundant and it was used.

And it was the disappearance of Princess Lenark that led to the disappearance of magic.

Inda's eye, snakes from your hands.

Yeah, it actually does look like a snake now that I'm now that Boggy says it.

I can't see it.

It is a purple snake.

It's just in my head.

It's a purple snake.

I mean, it's a purple snake now.

Yeah, it looks like a tongue.

All I'm thinking about is that lightning is just snake strikes from the sky.

The lodestars, pet snakes, trying to nip us.

What is it being electrocuted if not being poisoned by the sky?

Yeah, guess how look at it.

Wasn't there also just a regular open door?

Does that seem like a hallway, or does that seem like some sort of cache of weapons or something like that?

Indeed, there is an open door to your left, and you guys can see through the open steel door is a compact barrel-vaulted armory.

Whoa.

And a long workbench runs the length of the room, its surface deeply scarred.

Mounting strips, ring bolts, and hanging hooks adorn the walls, once meant for weapons of worth.

Now the scared ones have littered the space with crude spears, rusted sickles, and chipped short swords, all lazily arranged.

The far wall presents brackets for eight swords, each empty.

Carved into the carrying beam above is a promise long forgotten.

Min Amarth Gwed, we rise as one.

Princess Lenark had an order of eight knights.

The original boggy buds.

Indeed, these must have been some truly legendary buds.

Ah, the revelry that must have unfolded with this crew.

I wonder what type of of grim ends they all met.

They probably all died in the Gods' War, because that's when Princess Lanark either died or ran away or absconded or something happened to her.

And they probably all died protecting her.

As you guys have this conversation, you're drifting closer to the room.

You can see that in the armory, there's also a shield wall standing along one side of the armory, housing pathetic wooden planks, the makeshift defenses of the monks.

But among them, one hulking shield stands apart, too heavy for any scared one to raise.

The worn and chipped heraldry of House Summer remains on its broad front, faded but not erased.

And opposite the shield wall, you can see here, above the rough workbench, the remains of a map are painted onto the stone.

A map?

Ah, do you have any use for this shield?

I am, I mean, I'm assuming I'm still have my Might of the Gods.

Well, it only lasts for a minute.

Would you say that my Might of the Gods could still be going to try to lift the shield?

Well, you're a lot stronger than the scared ones, even when you're yourself.

Yeah.

Yeah, swelly, see if you could hef the shield.

Okay.

I

clasped my cloak with my son's sigilry,

and I'm going to walk towards the shield.

Okay.

The shield shimmers from torchlight as you approach.

And the hilt's protection and body.

And you can reach out and see if you can raise it.

Okay, I do so.

Give me a strength check with advantage.

Okay.

The might of the gods still flowing through you.

23.

Okay.

This leaden shield hanging so heavy on its hooks, looking like they can barely hold its weight.

You reach out, brace yourself to try to lift it.

And it feels feather-light in your arms, Wellie.

This isn't that heavy at all.

Here, Sutric.

I am

not.

Oh, I should have come on.

Pop it back in.

Pop it back in.

Right away, right?

Don't just do it like at a random time.

Don't count down.

Do not do three, one, two, two, three, four, five.

It's best to just count through it.

Yes.

Can I behold the shield?

Does it have any secrets behind its

facade in the back where you hold it?

Yeah, Welly.

When you plunge your hand through the leather straps on its back, you see glinting in the firelight the inscription of the name of the knight who wielded it, Sir Leif Thornston.

Sir Leif Thornston?

A knight worthy of Princess Lenark.

Princess Lenark being a princess worthy of the gods.

Oh, the chain of worthiness.

How I wish to climb it.

How I wish to climb it.

Wellie.

Yes.

I I need the corner.

We haven't established a cancer.

It's a round room.

Yeah, it's a round room.

Just hide behind the shield, honestly.

I think I'd also like to take a peek at the map.

We have a map here.

What is the map of?

Great call.

So there is a painted map in this armory, and everybody can give me investigation checks here or perception, whichever you prefer.

I'm going to, I have a stolen trinket from the Order of the Oak and Ore.

and I thought it was just a little broken tchke.

Okay.

But seeing a map here, I'm going to take out the broken compass that I stole from the Oaken Ore and see if there's any symbols that are similar to this map.

A stolen trinket?

Welly, you've got more metal than I thought.

Yes, I had a paroxysm of rebellion as I left.

I got a 22 on my perception check.

22.

I got a

four.

Okay.

So I got a three.

I just play with my toy.

Willie and Boggy are like kids at Christmas.

There is a map with so much useful information.

That's

just shadow boxing the shield.

And Cedric, you take in all of the information on this map.

The first thing jumping out at you, it's kind of like

a you are here point of reference.

There is a tower representing the Dawnhold.

It's painted with a sunburst on the front.

And perched on this tower is a green dragon.

You also see in the bog land outside of Goodport, there is a circle.

You also, Zudrick, your eyes naturally drift to where you're from.

The bays and the faraway fjords beside the village that you come from, Noro, all of those bays are full of ships.

And with your 22, you also see

All along the bottom of the map of the country, almost encroaching towards the dawnhold, there are little etchings, little drawings, the sign of the hilt on all of these different villages and woods, rivers, and mountains.

This seems like perhaps the division of the gods.

And also, there's this strange circle near where I used to live, and I have not seen that circle when I was there.

I don't know if it's made of paint or iron, but I do not remember seeing a massive circle.

It might have been too big for me to see.

The circle doesn't correspond with any of the sigils of the Lodestar, the Hilt, or the Ender, right?

No.

It's like no sigil.

Is it the union of all three?

Well,

with a three, I think it's just a very big circle.

Or maybe it represents a sinkhole in a portal to somewhere else.

That's wild thinking.

That's purple snake brain right there.

Or do all of these markings on this map represent someone tallying something?

Is it less an official map and more someone saying, okay, we've actually done this, we've done this, and we need to know to go here?

Do you want to roll an insight and see if you can deduce anything?

Toddy 20, that's a 19 plus one becomes a 20.

Wow, with the Koi 20, knowing that this is in an armory and that these are checked, it almost seems like clinical.

You get the idea that this might be labeling an army's advance, opposing forces marching toward the Dawnhold.

Why is there a green dragon on the green dragon's on the dawn hold?

On the dawn hold.

Do you think this is the very same dragon from the legend?

Was the dragon on the princess's side?

Do you perhaps think that the dragon stole the princess away to safety?

Have I heard any stories in which that happens?

The stories that you heard from the Oaken Ore were that during the gods' war, all of the gods fought amongst each other.

And during the chaos, the princess fled the Dawnhold, where one of her knights was killed by a dragon in the valley of the whispered oath.

Oh.

And then she drowned in the Bay of Steel.

Okay.

That's what you've heard.

Okay.

But this map does seem to conflict it.

This dragon looks like a friend of the keep.

Okay, so this dragon, yeah, it does seem to contradict the stories.

Perhaps

the dragon was one of the buds.

And then

if the images of the hilt are encroaching upon the dawnhold, were the gods at war.

I always thought Princess Lenark was beloved by all three, but

maybe not.

Seems that if the age of magic and stories was to come to an end, it would be because the gods themselves clashed.

As you guys have this discussion, you're copying down the map, maybe.

Your eyes also

where you started your journey.

Mudtown, only it's not called that.

What's it called?

The original name for Mudtown is Soulset.

Soul set.

Yes, Soul like Sun.

Sunset, Sunset, yeah.

But also related to Princess Lenark, the sunburst sigil.

Yeah.

The map also extends to a large swath of sea beyond, and in that corner is a star map drawn in the vast space.

And in the center of the star map, a tiny compass.

I.

Is it the compass that I stole?

I hold up my broken compass.

Is this compass supposed to be in the outer space?

I have an orgasm.

What the

hell?

Use your shield.

Use your shield.

Naruto runs into the other room.

As you leave Wellie in this carnal corner, Wellie, you you raise your shaking hand and realize that the compasses are the very same.

Does that compass function, Willie?

No, it's broken, but perhaps it's because I've been in the wrong region.

Oh, my goodness, of course, you'd have a compass on you.

Yeah, is it why?

Because of the first syllable?

I thought it needed to be spoken, but yes.

Call me piss?

It all adds up.

Yeah, it's very crass, and you like that, but I can't reference the sexual tension between you and Tabitha.

Tabitha is a dear friend.

Cover your ears.

What about Salem?

What about the others?

All of them are just my friends.

God damn it.

I think you need to have a long, hard time.

If you keep talking about my birds this way, I'm going to freak out.

More than you've seen me freak out before.

You are a suit of armor full of freak outs.

What you've seen is nothing compared to ours.

You would take your helmet off.

You were changing your emotions, Bev.

You were down here when I was screaming at that bookcase.

Do you understand the implications of this map?

This means that Princess Lenark could have used that dragon to fly into the stars.

Because if there is a compass for the sky and a beast with wings great enough to fly into the sky, do you think that she left this land and returned to where the gods dwelled?

Well, then, why would if the gods came from the sky, why would they have come here on a boat?

Wait a second, boat.

I look at the banner with the sky boat, the airship.

Are there any paddles on that banner?

It does not have any paddles.

It is a massive airship with its sails full of wind gliding through the clouds.

Do you think perhaps this boat was able to fly beyond the ends of the world and into the vastness beyond?

Maybe.

Is the airship the quote-unquote dragon?

Is there any kind of imagery or anything on the airship?

The airship is just an airship with full sails.

But as you talk about this airship, as you consider it, Wellie, you can feel the needle in your compass starting to spin wildly.

What?

Oh my.

I'll try to right myself and see if my position can give any sort of reason to the chaos of this compass needle.

Hold on, I think Zooty is throwing off the reading because he's got so much metal on him.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah, maybe you should take your helmet off.

She's not funny.

She does the helmet stuff, and the bird stuff is just off-limits.

Zooty, come on, Zudi, please.

So, as you guys deduce the mysteries of the god and also bicker amongst yourself and talk about bestiality and come,

well, you can give me an insight check on your compass

with advantage.

Okay.

The word is ruined for me.

I rolled two twos.

Shout out to the two crew.

I cannot make heads or tails of it.

Yes.

Okay.

So the compass is too wild to understand at the moment, but

perhaps when you get above the dungeon,

that will be a time to figure out

if you can find anything that you've copied from this map.

If Bulrick doesn't butcher us, perhaps we can climb to the top of the tower and get a reading there.

Oh, wow, I would love to.

And then, Boggy, did you ever swim to the very bottom of the bog?

Hmm.

Bogs are not much for swimming, but sometimes I would take off my boots and sink as far as I could go.

And did your feet touch the bottom?

Well, there's no bottom to the bog, I don't think.

Not that I could find.

Oh, that's.

That's strange.

Hmm.

This circle does perplex me, I will say.

The bogs, as I remember them, were to uh forgive the pun, they were rather boggs standard, so

I do not know.

Zudric laughs.

See, this is the type of humor I like.

Okay, Zudric.

Okay.

You have a problem with me.

Is there something going on here?

I feel like we've taken like four steps back in the past half hour or so.

Zudi, she's had like 12 revelations and three orgasms in the past day.

No, you're right.

You're right.

You're absolutely right.

I want you and Tabitha to be together for your sake.

And that's not fair.

This is.

That's not okay.

I'm not trying to be funny.

I'm being so deeply and embarrassingly sincere.

Chums, can we take a break to pull on these sword hooks?

Because I think there might be a secret chasm.

Let's make sure.

Yeah, let's pull on the sword hooks.

But finish your bog.

We got distracted by the bog standard punch.

Oh, yes, of course.

Well, it was a rather standard bog, perfect for hiding out in because of how thick the brush was and how deep the bog was.

Littered with all sorts of animals and vegetation that could disguise you and sustain you as well.

If you were ailing, there was Jack of the Pulpit at Plenty to thin out your blood, as it were.

Oh, so there was really a womb-like fertility and protection to it.

Indeed, I will say that the bog, despite outward appearances, was a welcoming place.

I can almost hear Flute Boy's sultry tunes wafting over it.

And Flute Boy's the one that died of old age in the stock.

Indeed, that was him.

Yeah.

I remember the last words he's saying.

What were they?

Past the broken windmill, down the winding stream.

That's where you'll find Boggy and his jolly team.

That's so fun that the people on your team still considered it your team.

That really speaks to like a kind leadership.

It was a lot of pressure, if I'm being honest.

And, you know, there was challenges to the direction at times.

I feel like Longest Tom thought that maybe we should party a little less, but you know, at the end of the day, we all agreed that it was all about stealing and partying and nothing more than that.

And have I asked how longest Tom passed?

Oh, yes, remember he was hung.

Okay, right.

Right.

Right.

How could we forget?

Okay.

Okay.

All right.

Maybe this circle.

I wonder if this circle, maybe that's where we use the compass.

I wonder if the compass works there better.

That's a wonderful idea.

Oh, now everyone wants to listen to Zodric.

Now, certainly,

you know what, Cedric?

Now I'm remembering.

I tried to compliment you earlier, and you got mad at me.

I get mad at everything, but especially the bird stuff, okay?

Again,

I tried to sincerely apologize, okay?

That was me.

I was shipping you and your best friend, and that's not okay.

That's not okay of me to have done.

Well, it's not about the best friend is the problem.

It's the fact that my birds are birds.

Let's check out the other.

So, there's a lot of stories from the past where a man befriends a bird wife, and then the bird wife is secretly a woman in disguise.

There's also stories from some places where women marry birds.

People are always marrying birds that turn into magicians.

They're marrying a bird.

Birds are.

The hilt often went as a raptor.

All right, if you can't wrap your head around, why wouldn't want to mate with a bird?

Well, not in bird.

Not in bird form, friend.

The birds don't change.

They're just birds, right?

Let's establish reality, right?

The birds are birds, okay?

The birds are, if we don't understand that birds and humans shouldn't do it, then let's understand that the birds are my murder.

We are a family, okay?

So let's think of it that way.

Okay, I was thinking of you as friends, and that's where I went wrong.

Great.

You're even more than buds.

Yeah.

Sure.

Okay.

I'm so sorry, Tabitha.

I'm so sorry, Edgar.

I'm sorry, Tabitha.

I'm sorry, Edgar.

Sincerely.

I'm sorry, Salem.

Yeah, and Sabrina.

Say sorry, Sabrina.

I'm sorry, Sabrina.

Sabrina, you forget about Sabrina sometimes, but really, you shouldn't.

She's really interesting.

Okay, let's go into this other bird.

Yeah, the birds start hopping to the other room.

Yeah,

they know.

It's called pacing, people, okay?

The birds follow the cold draft, slash the story.

Oh, write a draft.

It would be like a way out.

Maybe we didn't need

the freaking pig to take the elevator.

That's his castle now.

What don't you get?

Pacing, everyone.

Let's go.

We have to leave this room.

You cross the guard room and into this secret threshold where cast iron sconces still house ancient candles cracked and crumbling.

You raise your torches, peering into this chamber.

Their warm glow falls across a wall of tombs.

Above you, the ceiling stretches into into a vaulted dome, and looking up, you see the roof is blanketed with the twisting roots of a large tree.

The stems spiral down the cold stone walls of the crypt, encircling the marble slabs of carved names and heraldry like a final embrace.

All tales end, but not all endings are written in stone.

Only the names of the fallen solar knights laid here to rest.

I would like to read all of their names.

Yes, we should probably, you know, open up the tombs just to make sure sure

they're in there because there's dead guys.

That they've been laid to rest properly.

Let's make sure that these righteous remains have not been disturbed.

Let's crack them.

Gotta crack them.

Wow.

All right, cool.

So you're gonna crack some of these tombs.

One at a time.

One at a time.

Respectfully.

So much reverence.

Whoever we think might be the strongest one, I'm gonna sit on that tomb to make sure nobody pops out.

That's Sir Leaf Thorn.

Okay.

Sir Leaf Thorn is.

We're gonna just hold down Sir Leaf Thorns in case they try to pop out.

I'm ready.

Okay.

There's no surleaf here, but you can just go through these tombs one at a time if you want to crack them open.

Let's get popping.

Okay.

Okay.

You can give me a strength check with advantage.

You guys are taking your time and cracking tombs.

Oh, wow.

Okay.

22.

Okay.

Cool.

I'll let you breeze through these tombs.

They're all fine.

They're undisturbed.

These are ancient royals predating even the gods' war.

They're in there, long dead.

Okay.

As you go through all of them, you turn to see in the center of the room a round stone altar, worn smooth with time and use.

On either side of this altar are two shallow alcoves receding into the wall.

One houses a sturdy stone pot, and the other holds a single sarcophagus.

Before it, a massive greatsword is driven into the stone floor like a headstone.

The marble slab here bears a simple inscription.

Sir Gunnar Summer, the sunsword, buried by his kin.

The wide blade, still sharp, half sunken in the floor, with a swirling opal sunburst on its pommel, bears the names of the knights who buried the one who wielded it.

Should we try to

you gotta kind of try to take this.

I um, you know, I'm trying to be as sort of respectful as possible here.

I thought there might be zombies in the tombs, but other than that, I'm gonna undisturb not disturb them.

But, um, this sword, we kind of gotta yank it, right?

It would be improper, immoral, not to lift this sword and wield it once more.

No,

I don't think we should.

A knight should be buried with his sword.

I don't think we should take it.

I'm going to turn around right now and I won't know what's happening behind me.

Zudrick Yanks it.

Cudrick, as you go down to Yank it, you read the names carved in the steel.

Seven of them.

Perhaps the remaining knights of the Solar Order.

You see, Sir Caspar Holborn, Sir Lachlan Boyd,

Sir Hilda Garnet,

Sir Cassian Dame,

Sir Leif Thornston,

Sir Radak Lockmaw, and lastly, Sir Wilma Hamdam.

And that's where we'll end our episode.

Oh my God,

this is the best day of my life.

Doctor's looking at it, clearly for me as he goes to fill it out.

I'll take that opal.

Oh my god.

Wait, Wellie doesn't even know yet.

Wellie has her back turned.

Yeah.

Right.

Wellie's not watching.

Wellie's playing with her shield.

He's really been picking on Zudrick, so who knows?

Super fun stuff.

We'll talk about this more over on our Patreon, patreon.com slash nadpod.

That's NADD P-OD.

Don't sing yet.

We got some stuff to plug.

We got some Dimension 20 live shows.

We're going to be at the Hollywood Bowl on June 1st.

We're going to be in Climate Pledge Arena in Seattle in July.

She'll be on the lookout for that.

And we're going to be in Las Vegas in November.

So search Dimension 20 live.

We're doing Starstruck in Vegas.

Whoa.

Maybe.

Anyone else have anything they'd like to plug?

I'll plug YOLO Rainbow Destiny.

It's a cartoon show on Adult Swim that makes me laugh hysterically.

So please watch it because I really like it a lot.

Cool.

Oh, yeah.

In the meantime, you can follow us on social media.

They're Mirman.us at CHMERSME, at Caldee's Caldwell, Addie Extras Emily, and at Jake Gritz is Jake.

And you can talk about the show online using hashtag NADPOD.

That's N-E-D-D-P-O-D.

We are, we are the illumination.

We are, we are the illumination.

It's the end of the show, and you know what that means.

It's time to shout out our benevolent council of elders, starting with Brad D, Jeffrey S., Lord of the Fjord, later Mixed Skater, Matt M, Cutter W, Jeff C, Daniel G, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Carpe Liam,

Victor T, Balnor's Boy, Hoyd's friend, Justin I, Danny Danster, TJM, Trele the Cray Fay, Christopher B., Danielle R.

Jordan L., Cyborg version of Josh the Kobald, Targut, Stevie Wags, Hellish Rebuker, the NBDMPHD,

Princess Yar, Jury S, Jack L, Nicholas C., star of every film ever made in Bohemia, Mike H.

Elka Smeltzer Plus, Great Value, Gemma, Tyler F, Heradrian, Carborough, Chapel Hill, FPV, CeCe Lulu, Old Cobbs, Dunkle, Older, Burn, Erqu Poirot, The Rabbit Folk Detective, Timmy R.

Reiko, Jake's Jerk Jelly, Hashtag CCC, Taylor B.

Oh,

oh,

that's a good one, Cass, Strong, Grinch, Steven, shout out to the buoy the troll, C, Mike K, Nick W, William W, Big Ben, Beardo the Mad,

Ananorama, Percival Frederick Stein, Von Busel, Close Housie, Derollo the Third, Jay Dragonborn, Guardian of the Vibe, honoring the cock, Mayonnaise, Hegemony, Ben A.

Dave H, Dustin S.

Not That Nick, Danny F., Hawkeye Pierce, Book Vice Assistant, Izzy F, Big Bad John,

DPC is awesome!

Shown the shade tree mechanic of Zelboldar, Summer Rose Grandaire, Mark the Dark Lord's Taint,

Cat C, Misa of House and Zunza, Ariel the occasional mermaid, Selena and Velaciraptor, B, Pergie, Always,

Pat L, Maxwell J, Lauren H, Serve 16, Annie the Faywild Therapist, Connor S.

Salil, BioQuirt 7, Amber Dextrous, Bean Rat was innocent, Trub Hopdropper, Jack H., King of the Mole People, Under Iron Deep, dressed in blue, and fighting his way through a bracket style tournament, tournament, Valen, Paj, the bitch and bunny, bard, Carlin C, Noah the Bullywog Boy, hashtag honor the cock, James G, everything Bago the Eladron who just wants to hang out with his pet badger Stripey, Reverend Chatterbones, Han,

Eric B, Marcos, Learns the Balanced Druid, Frida M, Maggie, Holly the Green, Laughing Hyena, Cal misses the D5s with all her heart, Aaron B.

Russell H., a monk named Dilco, Cody C., Lorelei the succubi, and Kira the succulent snack, McKenna Stout, your friendly neighborhood yaunt and yonkel, Andrew and Sid, John Adams, we can be done with presidential buns.

Okay,

indeed.

Meg, the mail carrier of Bahumia, James F.

Austin S.

Wayfarer now has to do something with the trolls, get rid of them, Turn to page 42.

Keep them.

Turn to page 69.

Oreo.

Shane C.

Barbo Good Barrel Barbarian.

Garrett G1 Big Curd.

Renee the Monster Captain.

Olivia the Enchanting Bard.

And Jared the Soap Opera Cleric, who will be auditioning for Callie's acting troupe.

Blue Ash.

Fico.

Garrett the Artificer.

Damon, son of that one merchant named John.

Valkyrie, the Gert Sea Brother, Anthony, the rattest of dudes.

Jay, the fairies have amended all their ways and are volunteering at their local petting zoo.

Cantrip Dumbledore, the fair onesie-wearing barbarian.

Lexi loves the two crew.

Roger L.

No Drog, the pass-a-fist barbarian, Gino T, John Luca, Tristan, the talentless honk, shenanigans O'Connor, Mios the Great, Joshua S.

Alexander, Lins W, Johnny Dude K, Pavlo Eskinar, the Goliath Paladin, providing service with a smile, Tim M.

T.

R.

M.

L.

G.

Cheeto, Shell B, Kenna's first favorite Sprite Girl, hoping everyone's critters and kidders are doing happy and well.

Snailess, who's infecting worship

from within.

It just gets weirder every time I say it.

I'm a blade-singing wizard, but only cut pork.

Mima Sky Days, Megan N.

Anthony B.

Savannah H.

Balnor's best friend, Steve, Stephanie of House and Zunza, Benjamin A.

Gimli the Corgi, Pawpaw and Foster's canine friend, Michael A.

Josh H, Pilot of the Nightmare Verse Flight.

The two crew blew through.

Jennery, Ethan the Mailman, Maple the shy bookworm, Ashosaurus, Billy Batson, Tori the tungsten dragoose, accidental sharer of recipes.

Oh, I remember when that happened on the Patreon.

That was very funny.

Oh, I love that you didn't remove it.

Okay,

Michael Lyle S.

II, Carl B., Plumber of the Realm, Dex Riddlewell, Hannah A., Ace Dregs, High Lord of Critsbeg,

Darius Darius D, the guy from that one thing.

Vinn diagram, Catamilius the Consumed.

A gun, Banjo Boy of the Flatlands with two working kidneys.

Congrats!

Bart of Holding, Clinton P.

Grinchful Cam, the Grinch Frog Man.

Dean, Jake W.

Hi Mom.

Tuesday Cross, the Choose Your Own Adventure Writer, not the Pornstar.

Steve L.

Tyler M.

Alex G, Zibeto Backery.

Nicole Kaylee of the Order of the Oaken or ah my sister.

My sister at arms.

Lady Jacqueline P of Castle Whitestone.

Greg W.

wants the D20 truck nuts Jake thought up.

That feels like a little bit of a

actors warm up.

Baruke Thunderhelm, fifth generation Minotaur working as an abandoned labyrinth tour guide.

Literally Satan.

Wow, welcome.

Chupac Aubrey, Boney is Dead.

Cohen Pache, the Duke of Silk's missing son, The Waterworth, Nick, and finally, Amy.

Thank you all so much.

We love you.

Goodbye, my sweetest of sweeties.

That was a head gum podcast.