The Mavrus Chronicles - Blazin' Daze (Part 3)

This is a head gum podcast.

Welcome to the campaign after the campaign.

This is not another DD podcast.

Welcome back to Blazing Bay.

Blazing Bay.

I always forget to write a damn row.

AKA, the Mavericks Chronicles, aka Hot Boy Summer.

I'm your Dungeon Dose and Emily Expert, joined by Brian Murphy.

If you offer me a seltzer, then we're gonna have words, sir.

Max, son of Mumford.

Whoa.

Fucking get him back.

Absolutely vicious.

And of course, we got Codwell Tanner.

Goo touching friend who loves Land's End.

It's Hungry Dave.

And I'm ready to send.

Dude, the station wagon at the sacred place.

I hunched down.

No one could see me, dude.

We all knew.

Jake Hurwitz.

Never fear.

I have no ears.

One big head, folks.

One.

Dread Never.

One big head.

And finally, we've got the guest to end all guests.

Zakoyama.

The sorcerer with the jiggly arms.

It's time to all be very alarmed.

All right.

You found it.

You pulled it out.

Wow.

It just took you longer to pull it out because of how long your arms are.

Until you wrote that.

I couldn't read.

I feel like you're an adrenaline junkie the way that you never have a rhyme and figure it out on your feet.

You gotta take a leap of faith every time you forget to write a rhyme.

Last session, the boys of summer neglected the raucous delights of the Blazing Babe Festival in favor of starting drama, mostly with each other.

They offered a seltzers.

They started the drama.

Mac and Mac.

Things got real in that stink hut.

The four of you kicked off the event with seltzer showers and swag from some brand ambassador dryads, then had a run-in with a zine wizard from Glade Home University who let slip that he'd actually met Carl at Gladehome U's new student orientation.

What?

Wait, what?

Carl's a rat.

You grappled with Carl's betrayal of your plan to attend the Party Plane Community College together, then approached Tret's dad, who you'd seen spending time with a mysterious moon cleric in silver robes.

Dr.

Nevers introduced the mystery woman as his guru, then you all tried to get him to talk shit about his invisible son, who was standing right there.

What?

Want to clear the air?

Mac proceeded to invite him to the fae grotto.

Then the four of you sought refuge from the elements in a vegetable-fermenting tiny hut.

Inside, you discovered a bounty of comforts: toothbrushes, a full bath, and most importantly, a dog-eared summer edition of Lands End Catalog.

It's almost August, boys.

August is upon us.

Your reverie.

Your reverie, however.

Get those noses up, boys.

I also, I didn't write this into the recap, but also at one point, Mavericks goes, Are we pathetic?

I mean, it's never mind.

Your reverie, however, was short-lived as a group of possessed pixies started flinging firebolts, trying to prematurely ignite the capstone of Blazing Babe's magic ritual, the effigy of Malora herself.

You made quick work of the pixies with some fear-inducing Ebo music, minute meteors, and one chilling mouth shower.

There's like a blue raspberry slushy-flavored mouth blast.

And don't forget that I missed with my mace.

Oh my god.

Dude, try to do a murder.

If you miss with your mace, then try to get Tred to use a sword.

What?

But their felled bodies dissolved into a mysterious stinking goo, which you all proceeded to touch, double touch, and in some cases, triple touch.

Fuck.

What did we do wrong?

What if we touch it again?

The quadruple touch?

It's the only thing that will work.

Seems smart.

Seems smart to me.

Dave's eyes went black.

Mac's ears sprouted wings.

Maveris' limbs became tentacles with fingers at the end.

And Tred's ears first scurried away from his head, which had doubled in size.

Then, said ears, sprouted their own wings.

Wait, did the ears also double in size when his head doubled in size?

No.

Okay, why?

Because I think we discussed that if he gets the ears back, they wouldn't fit his current head size.

I didn't notice how little your ears were, Tred.

Dude, drop it.

No, don't drop the ears.

They will run away again.

Yeah, we need to find them.

As you chased down Tred's flying ears, a festival emissary intervened, analyzing the goo and discovering that it was, in fact, Demon Iker from the Infernal Plains.

Wait, what?

That seems like very off-vard.

And that's where we are now.

The four of you are being escorted.

Well, actually, let's resolve if you caught Tre's ears.

Okay.

Can I be like the lookout?

I'm using my dark vision.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

So I'm going to let you.

Everyone's chasing the eagers.

I'm going to let you roll with triple advantage, but it's a really high DC.

Holy shit.

Wait, me specifically Mac.

I'm trying to grab them.

Well, no, because Maveris is trying to grab them.

Maveris is trying to grab them.

You're flying.

You're flying.

So I'm flying, holding Mavericks.

Okay.

Triple advantage.

Triple advantage, but you have to hit.

What's your, you have to hit a 20-slight advantage.

Can you do that?

Wait, I'm going to give you guidance.

I'll give you guidance.

Okay, got a D4 to this.

My hands are normal size, so I'm going to play a really cool, like, pomute riff and give you inspiration.

Hell yeah.

Okay.

Instead of a D6.

You're tone deaf without your ears, man.

All right, guys.

Hold me steady, Mac.

All right, I'm trying.

Here it goes.

All right, I'm going to add a

one.

and then I'll see what I add to the four.

Okay, so five.

What's my two that I have?

Okay, I agree.

He added seven to this, though.

So I gotta get a 13.

You gotta get a 13 or higher.

All right, I like really need my ears, dude.

I know, dude.

I know.

Everybody just calm down.

I can't.

I'm really nervous now.

Okay, you did it.

All right.

Two 18s.

Oh, no.

There wasn't that one in there, though.

Left one.

All right.

All right.

Don't get your tentacles like all over over them.

Did you leave his tentacles alone?

He saved yourself.

Oh, shit.

You're actually.

I feel like I caught a bug with my bare hands.

Maveris, grab him by the earring.

That's safer.

So you successfully retrieve Dred's ears.

Take them.

Thanks, dude.

Maveris,

I don't say this enough, man, but thank you for getting my ears.

Yeah, I've never heard you say that.

That was honestly really sick how we all worked together to get our boy's ears back.

Yeah, and only one of us got thanked.

Max storms off.

Mac, put me down.

Mac, it's so dark.

Mac, put me down before you stop.

Maverick, you have to go, dude.

You don't want to go this way.

Mac storms off carrying Maveris like a construction crane.

And the woman who you guys spoke to earlier, this summer Eladron, wearing a little Phoenix feather tutu with like a little fungal Bluetooth in her ear and a little name tag that says Amber, meets up with you and she says, Okay, um,

I promised you all that I would bring you to the med tent,

assuming that's what we're at just opposite sides of the med tent because we are in a fight.

I thank you for bringing Maveris to get my ears.

Is that was that so hard?

We're not in a fight anymore.

You make it hard.

You do.

We have a therapy tent, too, if you need it.

We obviously don't need it.

We're working out right now.

Back off.

Yeah.

The tip would just collapse, is the thing.

Are you cutting out my boy?

What are you trying to say about Trent?

This guy's ears just flew away.

Okay.

You all just totally dodged a bullet for the entire festival, so I have to swallow how insane you're being.

Are there chips in here?

Like, is there like, are there Gatorades?

Like a cooler

in the med tent?

Yeah.

I don't know.

I haven't been there.

Let me take you there right now.

Okay.

Stretchers?

They're sort of hanging silken heels.

You know, to carry us to the med tents.

To carry us right now.

Do you need to not?

Yeah.

Give me a persuasion check.

Actually, because of everything that's happened with absolutely with disadvantage.

Yeah, okay.

Wow.

That is a nat 20 and a nat one.

Can you see in her eyes?

Like she came in ready to offer you guys a lot of stuff.

And the amount of things that have just evaporated.

The amount of possibilities that have just evaporated.

We'll go to the mid-10.

We're going.

We want to go to the mid-10.

My sandals hurt, okay?

So take the ball off.

I don't have sandals, dude.

Well, I can't.

Put them on because my boots hurt.

Okay, okay.

My name is Amber.

Hi.

I'm an Ember Emissary.

Got it.

Amber.

We're sort of here throughout the festival to make sure that things run smoothly, which I think all of you can

agree they are not doing right now.

No, I'm having an awesome trip.

Yeah.

This Pixie's like definitely tried to burn it down early, but we like handled that.

Yeah, right.

Yeah, so if you need us to handle anything else, just like let us know.

I absolutely will do that because...

Like I said, right now, you guys just totally dodged a bullet for us.

Unfortunately, we still have to figure out where that bullet came from.

Right.

But let's get you into the med tent first.

And

another thing is, you know, this is kind of, we are mid-ritual right now, and it's kind of unstable.

And in order for the ritual to work, the party has to go well.

And in order for the party to go well,

partygoers need to feel safe.

So I'm just going to.

That's where we come in.

And you guys defended it.

But the official line we're going to kind of put out there is just that those pixies, and she kind of raises her voice, hoping to be overheard, those pixies just had a bad trip from some curdled telepathic tipple.

Yeah,

we're allowed to say that we're the heroes of Blazing Babe and tell other people as well, right?

Actually, give me a perception check.

Okay.

Okay, that's a 10.

It doesn't really take a huge perception, though, to notice that people are clocking you and not in a way like earlier when you're not looking at my giant head and no ears.

So, a lot of people actually are kind of avoiding tread because there's so much going on there.

We've got to get you in, man.

Can you put me down?

When we get, we're going to the med ten, dude.

Okay.

Yeah.

But yeah, you guys are definitely,

you've caught some positive attention.

I'm just kind of dancing in there.

You're like an inflatable, giant inflatable man.

I guess saving everyone at the festival gave me a big head.

I really do need it reduced though.

Yes.

Oh, God.

Absolutely.

And I promise you, our medic this year is amazing.

She's Kalishtar.

She's from the Dreaming Planes.

So she sort of does her healing and work in the dream space.

Oh,

cool.

That's sick.

Yes.

It's very, very effective and only a little bit invasive.

Cool.

Okay.

Sure.

I mean, as long as I get to lay down, it's been my, I guess my feet aren't hurting as bad right now because I'm being lifted in the air.

Yeah, I mean, again, my sandals are really digging in, so like I would love to like.

As you guys listen to the barking of all your dogs, you enter this med tent and you see hanging from the ceiling four silken healing cocoons.

Holy shit.

You also are greeted by the wafting perfume of incense, lavender, chamomile, passion flower.

There is a little druid craft orb that's playing the soft patter of rain like a white noise machine.

I mean it's no fermentation tint, but it's pretty nice.

This is as good as a fermentation tent.

That's on par.

As you say that, you hear in your head,

is it?

Ice cream.

And a woman with white hair draped in a swath of cloth that looks like it was painted on her with oil paint,

appears.

Her eyes are smiling, but her mouth doesn't move as her voice echoes in your head.

Oh, she touched the goo too.

Hello.

Hi.

Hi.

Tre does a really, really enunciated hello as well.

Please do talk out loud.

Is this like library rules?

Do we have to be quiet?

I feel like after that,

this is a therapy tent.

We're looking for groups.

Yeah, we're not in a fight.

This is group therapy, right?

She looks at Amber, probably communicates something telepathically about you, and then she says, You, you, you are all here to be cleansed of your infernal corruption.

Oh,

okay.

What if we kind of like it?

That is a choice you may make.

Interesting.

But like, I like being able to see in the dark.

I feel like I would love to be able to like make my eyes look normal again.

I miss my elbows and my bones.

Yeah.

I feel like, Dave, if you're gonna stay, quote, infernally corrupted, unquote, you're gonna be bad for the group.

That's not gonna be bad for the girl.

And you can't be a dentist.

What the fuck?

All right.

Yeah, Dave died for you.

Infernally corrupted dentist.

That's true.

That would be so bad for my Yelp.

Well, how this will work is you will all enter.

Again, still echoing in your head and just making uncomfortable eye contact with you.

How this will work is I will induce a sort of alchemical, expedited expedited long rest.

Are you?

I feel like you're staring right at my no ears.

No, I'm not.

Your eyes dark.

Oh my god.

Through the potency of your dreams alone, you will achieve the benefits of a full night of sleep.

While you slumber, I'll be anointing you with salves and ungens.

Ungens.

Oh my god.

Okay.

It's still dry July.

It's still dry July, but

it's legal to be anointed.

There's nothing against unchanged.

Can we wide bar real quick, guys?

Is she a freaking perf?

What is an ungen?

Dude, you don't know?

Don't do this to me.

Just talk to the answer.

Fine, I don't know what it is either.

Is that what you wanted to hear?

Back.

Fine.

You just said you knew what it was.

I asked you.

I get in a cocoon.

All right.

I call that one I miss you step into one.

I was walking towards it.

Now I have to move further.

They are sort of like the little slings that people do aerial yoga in.

So it is an acrobatics trick to get into one.

I'm not good at that.

Please assemble the human phoenix.

I got an 11.

Fucking hell.

Shout out to the two crew.

Okay.

We had Dave go to the highest one.

Dave and Mac get completely caught up here.

Oh,

an 11.

Check it out.

Here comes the hungry caterpillar.

You fully missed.

You fully missed.

I got a shout out to the two crew.

Dave, he fell through the tent.

And this

is

the best.

He stepped into her arms.

And this is a completely different direction than I wanted to go.

I got a 14.

Okay.

Dread is the only one who gets in.

She helps the rest of you in with deep pity in her eyes.

I didn't touch the ground in quite some time.

I feel like this is flawed because we're hurt.

So you make it hard to get into your blanket things.

You know what?

That's actually really good feedback.

Holy shit, I've never heard anyone say that.

Now, before I begin the process, pay attention to your dreams, because I'll be healing you on the outside, but you'll have your own work to do inside.

Okay.

Yeah.

And with that, she sort of gaps.

She just instantly is like, don't have a horny dream.

Don't have a horny dream.

Don't have a horny dream.

And I'd like to do a check to see if I say it out loud.

Yeah, go for it.

Yeah.

Okay.

What would that be?

Constitution or wisdom?

Wisdom?

Wisdom, yeah.

Okay.

My wisdom is plus one.

Oh, I got a dirty 20.

A dirty 20?

Yeah, keep it to yourself.

Keep it to myself.

You're buttoning.

Wow.

Dave grabs Max's hand.

Okay.

So this is just a nap.

So like when we wake up, it's still dry July.

We're so close.

A long rest, but it's not.

We were saying, we had a saying on the way over here, one more sleep till August.

And I guess we were wrong.

Yeah.

two more guys till Hogg is not sure that I've been hurt.

No, I feel like there's gonna be more pixies or something.

Yeah, we might have to touch some more icor.

All right, I can wait till Hogg is actually.

As you say that, you do see Amber does have the vial if you just want to touch it again.

Just one more for the road, right?

Touch it, man.

Maybe it'll cure you.

Yeah, I'm not scared.

Fine, I touch it.

Okay.

Mac, wait.

I just really phoned in.

Don't do it, Mac.

Crawl your D100.

There's some bad ones on here.

50.

The target's arms and legs switch places.

The target from moving unless it crawls.

Holy shit.

Get him into slang.

I'm chilling my silver suit.

And I start playing with an orb with my legs.

Dude, kick me.

Kick me with your hand feet.

It's fine.

Whatever.

We're about to be healed.

Who gives a shit?

I'm so mad.

I flavored my legs.

So she kind of assesses all of your various infernal ailments, gathers a bunch of herbs, puts them into this chained sensor.

Smoke starts pouring out.

She puts on a gas mask and just starts swinging it around and smoke fills the room.

You have time for one more thing, Sabris.

Should I put all my keys and stuff in a little basket?

And you pass it.

So the smoke from this sensor fills your vision like heavy curtains closing on this reality and opening onto another

as the four of you drift into a magical sedation.

Mac,

Davanaxius, and Tread.

Your dreams are vivid but abstract.

Why don't you guys, the three of you, roll initiative just to see

where we'll start?

It's a one,

fourteen.

Oh, 13.

I got a one.

Oh, man.

You have a horny dream.

No, I'm good.

Aw, shit, I gunked.

Jeez, you gunked right on your arm.

Okay, so Tread, we'll start with you.

You guys kind of enter this dream space.

It doesn't feel real.

It feels metaphorical.

And tread.

You feel the ground speeding underneath you.

Shit.

Whoa.

The wind in your hair.

Oh, fuck.

The windows of the station wagon are down.

Someone fucking fapping back.

Dave smiles.

Your dad is riding shotgun.

Like he always does when he gives you driving lessons.

Except this time he doesn't look so good.

Dad?

His hands are covered in ash.

I'm sorry, Trent.

I just wanted to learn a couple of can trips.

Yeah, and I just want to learn how to three-point turn, Dad.

What's going on?

I just

wanted to learn something, be a little closer to you.

I didn't mean for any of this.

As he says this, you realize the station wagon is barreling towards a roiling river of flame and septic fluid.

Okay, so I'll just

signal.

One, two, three, four.

Look in the blind spot and trying to turn down.

Dad, what's going on with the brakes?

Oh, the wagon, Dad.

How do you want to handle this situation?

What do you think Tread does?

You know what, old man?

Sometimes the only way out is through.

I'm going to put the pedal to the metal and go for it.

I think we can jump it, Dad.

Give me an arcana check since we've decided that all cars in this world are arcane vehicles.

All right.

10 and 2.

That is a four, no, 18.

18.

Tred, you look at your dad who is looking at you with weakness and fear, not something that you're used to seeing your dad.

have in his eyes and you confidently shove your what kind of shoe are you wearing

An America skate shoe.

And you confidently shove your skate shoe into the gas and you huff it leaping over this river of flame.

Just like you taught me, dad.

And since you succeeded, you now will roll a constitution saving throw to heal your infernal corruption.

That's zero to con.

But you get to roll it with advantage because you succeeded.

Ah,

that's an eight.

And an 18.

Nice.

That is very good.

Won't tell you what happens just yet, though.

Who's next?

Davinaxius.

Davinaxius, you

enter your dreamscape.

You squint into a bright light.

A fluorescent overhead light reflected off of golden scales.

The most golden you've ever seen, belonging to an ancient gold dragon.

Oh shit.

It has its mouth open, howling in pain.

Help me!

Help me!

It hurts!

Help me!

I'm coming!

I'm coming!

The dragon unhinges its jaw, revealing a set of teeth like a row of swords.

You see a molar in the back, infected with rot and decay.

As you peer at it though, you realize the source of the pain, it isn't systemic, it's not the root or the nerve or the gums.

It's just a cavity, localized.

It could be easily dealt with with the right extraction.

Dave looks in his hands.

Does he have his tools?

What are his tools in this situation?

I think he looks into his frisbee bag,

sees what's in there, first and foremost.

And then I guess, yeah, he's just going to run over and try and

approach the dragon.

Does he know who this dragon is?

I imagine he does.

No.

Oh, I don't.

This is an ancient gold dragon, but you do feel a kinship with it.

Right, okay.

I think, yeah,

I look in my bag and I realize all I have have is frisbee discs.

Yeah.

I mean, it's a huge tooth.

You just gotta hit that little pocket of decay.

Okay.

So you're saying if I can remove the decay, then I can save this beautiful granddaddy?

Yeah.

Um, I go up to them and say, I'm sorry, my friend, but that thing's gotta come out.

Help me!

Um, can I try and use uh just a little bit of poison breath to put put them under?

So professional.

Yeah,

I'm going to say that just works.

I love that.

In fact, I'll let you roll your attack roll with advantage now.

Count backwards.

Count backwards from 10.

10, 9, 8.

Shout out to the 2 crew and also the natural 20, clean!

Yes!

With that natural 20, you have navigated this dream in such a way that I'm going to let you decide precisely what you keep from this infernal gift.

Oh, shit.

If you want this infernal corruption, if you want to keep anything from it.

I mean, I guess I'll keep the dark vision, right?

Can we say that I have like the ability to like slide the dark vision on like shades?

Yeah.

You could actually do that.

So the status effect you had was the target's eyes turn black and it gains dark vision out to a range of 120 feet.

So if you want to just keep that and you can slide them on, like

a third set of eyelids.

Yeah.

Awesome.

Yeah.

Can I describe how I remove the cavity?

Absolutely.

I think I take this frisbee disc and I charge it up with arcane energy and then I spin it, spin it really fast until it turns into like a buzz saw.

And then I just

laser precision out this cavity.

Damn, you did have a horny dream.

And then I fish from my frisbee bag a lollipop for the giant dragon.

Amazing.

Creating more cavities for you to solve.

Beautiful.

So you are actually resolved.

You got that nat 20.

You wake up.

You are fully in control of this.

This infernal corruption became an infernal gift.

Mac.

Yeah.

You hear the sound of rubber tires on loose gravel.

You feel your feet pedaling.

Guys.

guys i'm feeling i'm i'm falling i'm falling guys we're going too fast come on maveris don't stop now we

you're in the back of a tandem bicycle the rider in front of you is wearing a glade home university hoodie coral is that girl goral is that carl curl slow down dude

you're leaving me behind coral faster and faster your pedaling becomes more labored as something

gums up the wheels of the bike.

Stickers.

Shit.

So many stickers.

This is the dumb person's patch.

Miring the spokes of the wheels.

Get him out!

Get him out!

Or the bike begins to teeter off the road.

Coral, slow down!

Coral!

In this moment, you have two options.

You can try and hang on and study this bike, or you could take a leap of faith.

I take a leap of faith.

Alright, give me a religion check.

Coral, we need to sidebar.

Fuck.

11.

Okay.

Interesting.

I have a channel divinity.

Starting at 6th level, you can use your channel divinity to aid and rally your allies.

All friendly creatures within 30 feet of you are frightened, paralyzed, poisoned, or stunned.

Gain an immediate saving throw with advantage to remove the effect.

Can I try to use that?

Yeah, yeah.

yeah, I'll say that.

It's a good thing your eyes are closed, too.

Sweet.

I'll find out why later.

I'm going to boot and rally and make a con save with advantage.

Nice.

All right.

I chug a beer as I fall off the bike.

Oh, yeah.

Whoa.

That's dirty 20.

Ooh.

Okay.

So you chug this beer and you leap into the unknown.

Horal?

Mavris.

You, however,

your dreamscape is a little different.

You enter something more tangible, more literal.

The smoke fills your vision, but it doesn't dissipate.

It kind of lingers at the edges, wreathing your vision like a picture frame or window dressing.

Okay.

And you see

a vision that is so crisp,

so vivid, it almost seems real.

What is this, a Samsung?

As you say, what is this a Samsung?

You see a vision of yourself.

Uh

okay.

You see you walking through the great hall of a university, a tiefling amongst high elves.

a sorcerer amongst wizards.

You see yourself sitting in the back of the class, dreading the long lectures, increasingly escaping to the nearby woods to skip stones in the river, all by yourself.

You see Carl is actually there with you, but he's becoming more withdrawn in his studies.

The two of you are realizing that

maybe the thing you had in common was your friends, that maybe you got along in a group, but weren't really destined for solo hangs.

You see yourself floating on a leaf, wishing you were at the beach with your friends.

Then the smoke begins to bleed back into this vision, but now it's two different smokes.

There's

a thick, sulfurous smoke coming from below, and then from above, sort of a

curly-cued, fragrant pipe smoke.

A voice beckons from each direction, one from above, one from below.

One says, Mavris, child of my child.

The other says,

Mavris, Mavrus the unschooled.

The tendrils of smoke wrap around your legs and arms, pulling you in opposite directions, fighting for you.

Hey, there's enough of Mavris to go around, okay, guys?

You're scared.

You are in the middle of a tug of war, but you have the sensation of swimming or flying, and you feel like if you just propelled yourself a little bit, you could decide the outcome of this tug of war.

They both sound rad.

I guess,

I don't know.

Something

something's called me down below

I just want to I'm just mother of

wait what it was it again sorry Maveris child of my child

child of my child

grandma

Would you like to go in the direction of

I think both sound cool to him, but he's just way more curious about that one and uh I think he's gonna hold his breath and just

look into

the waters below or whatever it is.

Okay, Maveris, you plunge into this sulfurous smoke.

And I'm gonna let you make your con save to remedy this infernal corruption with advantage, thanks to the help of this

mysterious presence.

Okay.

Um,

that's a 19.

Okay.

And you all awaken in your healing hammocks.

I touch my ears.

Are they on my head?

Tread,

you are fully returned to normal.

I'm normal.

What's up, guys?

I flick on my sunglass eyes.

Oh shit.

I flick them back out.

Oh, it's Dave.

Holy crap, we've all kept our powers.

Tread blinks and tries to send his ears on a mission.

I see your ears wiggling a little bit.

Amazing.

I couldn't really do that before.

I mean, a little bit, but.

Do you see that there is something a little more animated about his ears?

Oh, wow.

You can keep tempo with those things.

They're double-jointed.

Go, go, go, gadget ears.

Mac, you've also returned to normal.

All of you have returned to a state that you want to be in.

Okay, so like full disclosure, did anyone have a horny dream?

Um,

my dad was in mine so

no

at all.

No, but I guess that'd be a horny dream for you, wouldn't it, Dave?

Fucking fuck off the table.

I pushed his cocoon.

Ow!

I keep spinning it over and over.

Dude, he's gonna get hurt.

He's high up.

I saw.

I'm feeling nauseous.

Trent's feeling nauseous.

I'm gonna fucking yak.

He's gonna yak.

Fucking yakking.

You already started spinning and it's gonna keep spinning until I cut it.

I cut it.

Guys, a bunch of people are sleeping.

There's like a bunch of people sleeping.

There's like a guy who broke his arm.

You gotta go back to sleep.

All right, let's go around real quick.

I had a dream where instead of you guys betraying me and leaving me on the bike, Coral did.

Coral.

And who the fuck is Coral?

It's Coral.

Coral.

And

I fell off the bike again.

And Coral just like kept pedaling.

And he had a Glade Home University jacket on.

It's like he's leaving us.

Yeah.

Well, I had a dream.

I don't know if you guys...

But off of that, I had a dream.

I went to Glade Holmes.

What?

What?

Ow!

Twist his cocoon!

Twist his cocoon!

Hit me!

Hit me, then hit me then.

What did you?

Fucking hit me.

Twisting me to catch his bag.

Hit me back.

Twisted his hair.

Stop twisting me.

Okay, it's enough.

Stop twisting his cocoon, dude.

It's going to twist me in a way.

Stop it, dude.

You're scary.

You're scary.

Cut the rope.

I'm sorry.

It's worth the neck injury.

I'm going to fucking barp.

He's going to yak.

He's yak.

He's yakking.

If he yaks, I'll yak.

You yak, I'm going to yak.

Everyone do a constitution save to not yak right now.

And if one of you yaks.

Okay, since he yaked, now you all do it with disadvantage.

Let's go.

Well, I got a two.

I got a two as well.

I got a two also.

Matt does.

He acts so fast.

He acts so fast that he doesn't even put his head down.

He's just staring forward and goes,

You weren't even spinning.

I was still spinning.

It's getting everywhere.

It's all over the tent.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

What do you expect us to do?

I'm sorry.

We're more hurt than when we came in.

As all this happens, you look over to a seat where Amber, the Ember emissary, looks waiting for you.

Oh, shit.

Hi, I tripped on my father.

When did you get here?

Did you just get here?

Did you just run in and sit down?

Some crazy guy came in and puked on us.

She says, I just got here.

She's lying.

She feels bad for you.

She doesn't want you to know she watched.

I think he was this guy, Coral.

He goes to play at home university.

He barfed all over

everywhere.

Yeah, he's kind of a fucking rat.

He left us us in a rat barf.

And he was regretting that he left all his friends.

He wasn't even

a good college friend.

We moved quickly, so most of it got on us instead of all over the tent.

Yeah, with heroes again.

We want to just kind of save Blazing Babe again.

Right, and my breath is a weapon, so you're going to want to clean that up quick because it is going to just eat through everything it touches.

She's either dream healer, like, has a very animated, telepathic conversation with Amber, and she's just like, I know, I'm sorry, I'm really so screened.

Can you ask her if she has any cliff bars?

Yeah, we kind of yarfed our lunch, and we did bring lunch.

It was all behind us.

I feel like dehydrated.

Yeah.

In your head, you hear new cliff bars.

We need those Gatorades.

You know, fresh my cats.

Someone said, I guarantee Gatorade.

Someone said you had Gatorade Frost.

As the person who brought you here, I don't think anyone promised Gatorade.

So you said that you guys had the ones that weren't sugar-free, so there's zero calories.

But they didn't have the full calories they were like the 80 calorie ones like a dumb deal yeah i was guaranteed a propel yeah okay i'll just take a power eat if you have one ew oh fine i'll have one too

i'll just have another peanut butter stout

okay i'll make beer for everybody

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Thanks, everybody.

So

I was going to start this conversation by talking about how much we're in your debt, but I think that conversation kind of settled the debt we're even in.

We're not going to leave even.

No, that makes sense.

We made a miss of the tent.

Yeah, it's fucked up in here.

Yeah.

So did you guys figure out anything while we took our cat nap?

Not horny.

Tred looks at his watch.

I'm a saugas, boys.

Give Tred like a very tiny high five bite his back.

There's actually been a pretty interesting development because of something that you all set up.

Whoa,

yeah, yeah, we are.

We were making big moves.

Yeah, what's up?

It turns out that in an ingenious move of foresight,

you caused one of the pixies to flee.

I'm assuming you did that on purpose.

Yeah, I swung.

I didn't actually want to kill it with my mace.

Yeah.

Well, like, Tread cast fear, but I would say that, like, Mac swinging his mace is really what instilled the fear.

Maybe die.

Mac is so good at swinging his mace near stuff.

Yeah.

In any event, the reason I came to you is because

one of the partygoers sort of arcane constructs actually caught and apprehended the pixie.

Oh shit.

Oh shit.

And so we have her and we've been kind of trying to elicit information from her.

Do you want me to sidebar with her?

Yeah, we can sidebar.

Yes, I think I came to you to ask if it seems like you handled the situation.

I was wondering if you would find out what information you were doing.

We all just interrogated ourselves in a dream prison.

So I feel like we're like really ready to go.

Hey guys, can I sidebar with you real quick on the way there?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, there's a little walk, so you have time.

Okay, yeah, so let's walk.

Thank you.

Thank you, Amber.

Bye.

Bye.

We're sorry about.

Did you say bye?

Yeah, it was like, I didn't know you were coming.

Are you coming?

Are you going to.

Oh,

I'm your escort or whatever.

You can sidebar with us.

I'll walk ahead.

Did you say bye and then you kind of like walk together?

She kind of also equally does not want to walk with you.

Do you see that she actually has like a little fire spirit that looks like a fuzzy Pomeranian?

So she kind of walks ahead and she's like, Pom-Pom can

corral you if you you get lost.

I'm going to be like 20 feet away.

Do you have any tiny little bags if it like shits out a little brick of charcoal or something?

Yeah, she hands you a tiny bag.

Of course, it would be irresponsible for a dog owner not to.

Yeah, we could save them and then like give them as like pranks to each other and be like, You were bad.

You don't get presents on Christmas.

You got shit bricked.

You remember that.

You got shit bricked.

Let's remember that for Christmas.

That's going to be really good.

We'll do it to Coral because he left us, and so he doesn't get anything for Christmas.

Speaking of Coral, I had a freaking dream where I went, and please don't be mad again.

I went to Claydolm University.

What the fuck?

What is your problem, dude?

This is exactly where I got last time.

Let's power through it.

All right, yeah,

and then I was here with Coral, and I just like, we weren't, we were like, didn't, it felt so real, but we just like didn't connect in the same way that like, you know, us boys connect.

And I wonder if you guys didn't get along because you both fucking ditched us in your tools now.

Do you like Tread?

Tread.

But then I hit a.

Tread.

Are rats like communal like

animals?

That's a really interesting

fucking hidden.

Just got rid of it.

You hit the words, dude.

You hit yourself when you went to freaking college with me.

But this is a dream.

And then the point is at a certain point.

Oh, it's your fucking dream now.

Oh my god.

Is that my dream?

My dream was all of us going together to community college.

Look, I'm still into that, okay?

But I just hit a point in my dream where I was given a choice, it seemed seemed like, where like one was like going up towards what I think was Clayhome, but like another one was going down, and it seemed like a grandmother of some kind was telling me to go down.

So you obviously went up, right?

I didn't.

What?

You went down?

You thought I would betray you guys?

You thought?

that Maveris would leave his boys behind.

Holy shit.

I'm sorry, dude.

Maverick's freaking breakfast.

The core was so solid.

I don't

I can fucking puke.

I'm so fucking

puke, but I don't know what it meant.

Okay.

I'm going to dig a puke hole for everyone, just in case.

On the road?

Yeah.

Sand.

As you guys decide whether or not you're going to puke on the road to go see this pixie, you're kind of walking through the campground.

Does anyone want to do any kind of perception check or anyone who wants to give me a perception?

If you want to do a perception check to look for his dad.

We got to get off his dad, though.

I'll look do a perception check just to make sure he's not near us.

I got an eight.

Ooh.

I got a 22.

22.

I got a 17.

16.

Those shades, they're prescription.

Okay.

I'm going to say that with a 16 and a 17, you both notice an absence.

I'm not looking for Tread's dad.

Right.

So, but I'm saying, like, you know, he's not here.

Like, it's almost like if you're trying not to run into him, you've cased the joint.

You're not going to run into him.

Guys,

we got to to find him because I got to talk to him.

Because in my dream, I saved an ancient gold dragon through the power of dentistry.

That's sick.

Why don't you talk to him when we get back home?

I feel like those are for his office.

Okay, we all talked about like your shit extensively, and like I wanted to bring up mine.

Did I even mention it?

We were all sharing, and I didn't get to share.

And honestly, that really fucking rocked my soul a little bit.

Anyone with an 18 or higher, you actually both notice the necromancer from Shadowfell.

You see that he's wearing this sort of sleeveless necromancer's tunic

rigged up with Christmas lights.

Sleeveless?

And he's got a full arm full of what from here looks like candy bracelets.

Oh shit, we have to exchange bracelets.

Yeah.

Is it like real candy?

Is that going to be okay with you, dentist Dave?

I'm going to heat up one.

That's just more money for me.

I'm going to heat up one of these toothbrushes and make a wrist.

You have a fucking toothbrush?

I found one.

I got one.

We got it in the same place as the Lance End Cow.

I have, of course, my necklace that's a bottle opener, but I always have extra ones for my boys and to give out to friends.

So I'd like to try to exchange one for a candy bracelet.

Oh, that's awesome.

You could...

Here, take mine.

Exchange this one.

What?

You could exchange this one.

Why would I do that?

I made that one specifically for you.

Do you not like it?

No, I love it.

I thought you needed.

I thought.

Sorry.

As you have this encounter, the necromancer actually comes over.

Hey, you guys saved the day.

Peace, love, unity, respect.

And he puts his hand over yours, Mac, and slides a candy bracelet onto it.

Holy shit.

Slides a candy bracelet onto you, Maveris.

Slides a candy bracelet onto you.

Slides a candy bracelet onto you, Tred.

Wow.

And up close, you see that this is not candy, it's actually bird vertebrae.

And he walks away.

Okay, all right.

Meta puke again.

I can't do the slide thing, but here's a toothbrush that I kind of got hot.

Wow.

You don't even owe me anything, but thank you.

Okay.

Check it out.

Can I look at it?

Yeah, absolutely.

Do you want to give me an investigation check?

Yeah.

Nat 20?

Okay.

Oh, yeah.

This bracelet, it is a candy bracelet.

I mean, it's not candy.

It's...

But you can eat the bones.

But you can eat the bones.

And if you eat the bones,

you roll a D4 and it casts that level of false life on you.

Ooh.

So if you eat this, you will cast a one through four level false life on yourself.

Sick.

Person can be shitty.

You can eat the bones.

She's like, Trev, do you think you're going to be able to, your stomach will be able to handle that?

I might lick a bone.

I can lick a bone.

Tread, we'll see.

We'll see if it works.

It doesn't work.

You have to crunch it to work.

Dave puts a hand on Tred's shoulder and says, I'll chew up the bones and I'll baby bird him to you.

That wouldn't make me sicker.

He's got a really weak stomach.

All right, let's go sidebar with this pixie.

And the final thing you notice, Dave, with above a 20,

you notice there's a disturbance in the cuddle cave.

What?

No.

You see a writhing mass of moaning, sighing limbs spilling out of the cuddle cave and into the campground.

I think that's supposed to happen.

That's fucking you.

Jesus drive July.

Sometimes yet.

Okay, I have a little respect.

A few partygoers get swept up into it as it trundles.

Do that shit.

It's spreading.

Throwing sharp elbows and flinging dislodged glow sticks.

In the center of this corrupted cuddle is a tiefling woman.

Big hair, big earrings, a little bit too much makeup, and a better late than never's t-shirt.

No.

Itch.

Jen with two edge?

Jen?

No!

Oh my god, oh, help me.

Oh, this is far too much intimacy and vulnerability.

Sure, a recent requirement!

Jenny!

Save!

Everybody, roll initiative!

Oh, this is nasty.

It's six.

10.

Don't let it horn you up, boys.

Eight for Dave.

Eleven.

The highest of our group at an 11.

She's not good.

Okay, so

first step in initiative that you know is actually Mafris.

Maveris, you see in front of you this writhing mass of intermingled limbs.

Is my dad in there?

Mr.

Nevers?

Stop it.

Anyone's dad could be in there.

Will you allow me like an insight check?

It doesn't feel great to just like shoot this.

I feel like it's like a sentient life.

I'm not going to make you do an insight check.

This is a corrupted cuddle.

So this is like gone into hyperdrive.

Like this is

happening with the pixie of the cuddle.

Okay, so they're not people.

You're not just like killing a random person.

Okay, great.

It's a Katamari cuddle.

Welcome, good.

I think.

And Jen Jen with two N's is in the center.

God.

Stuck.

Okay.

Mavericks is going to do...

Keep it simple, stupid, they say.

Cast Malf's minute meteors.

Yeah.

Mavericks, that's like a really good slogan.

Six little meteors fly around me.

It's not my thing.

I do other stuff, but this is super useful right now.

And

I think when he creates it, I can...

Huck some meteors.

It's just like hucking things is kind of like my territory.

Like,

dude, he hucks, you toss.

I'm tossing.

Okay, Mac, honestly, thank you for that distinction because I'm like, I was getting pretty heated, but I'm feeling good now.

I could tell you were upset.

So, okay, so I'm gonna, uh, I got six meteors around me.

I got, I'm gonna throw two of them at this guy.

Great.

Yeah, you see, you see, sort of in between all of these writhing limbs.

Like, again, you, like, don't even see faces in there except for Jen with two ends, terrified face.

You see kind of this, this fiendish icor sticking between all these lamps.

Kind of hot, but

uh,

enough.

He's like, toss, he, sorry, hucks two

meteors.

Heat it, dude.

Yeah, you can heat it if you want, right?

Yeah, but just tossing or like flipping or spinning, like, that's gonna be me.

I'll hold all this in my head as I launch these meteors.

And I, here, he, Mavericks launches two meteors.

They have to do deck 16, uh, saving throw.

Uh, nine fails?

Nat one fails.

Wow.

Do your best.

Pretty bad.

Pretty bad stuff.

Maveris comes out hot on his earlier victory.

I did nine damage.

Nine damage?

Okay.

Take that.

Legs, I guess.

Mac, that is you.

The only thing that can stop this boys is destroying horniness.

Even if it means our own.

And I'm going to take the Lance End catalog.

No.

Mac, no.

And I'm going to cast cast a third

wound on it.

What?

Mac, as you reach in to the blessing of the brew, to the holiness of the hops, you see the sticker

on Tred's amp.

For a second,

you think

how refreshing it would be to have a seltzer in this desert climate.

Give me a wisdom-saving throw.

What the fuck?

The eyes of this dryad seltzer swag sticker.

You're getting counterspelled.

Oh my finger.

I told you guys these stickers were fucked.

No, dude,

your reaction to them is fucked.

Their eyes lit up and they cast counter spell on your side.

You're distracted by the sticker and you're not.

Mac, you're being insane right now.

I am going to have to ask you, how many...

I know, Tred, you have a sticker on your amp and you have a sticker on your guitar.

are any other stickers out right now

I put one on my horn why yeah because it's cool it's not I'm a brand ambassador yeah okay the brand is counter spelling

oh wow because they're evil because they paid attention to me

I think, I don't know.

I mean, I have a couple stickers on me.

I mean, if they're evil, I would have.

how many how many do you think?

I think I have a little descent.

Probably a dozen.

No.

I have two.

You have two, I cast.

Wait, do the ones on my Frisbees count?

For all a G4 for having a best.

I'm never going to cast another spell because you fucking morons.

Did the one burn up that looked at me?

Yeah.

Okay, so these are just counterspell stickers.

I'm going to have to use my nace.

I'm just kidding.

We're going to get kicked out of the fest.

Mac, I didn't get counterspelled, so maybe you're just being crazy.

I don't know.

The stickers have it out for me.

Maybe be nice to the stickers.

I don't know.

And now that is the cuddle muddle, as I guess I call it in this.

It is going to roll a D4 to see which of you guys is going to attack.

Oh, shit.

I feel like it's going to be me.

One attack for Maveris.

Fuck.

Okay.

One attack for Tread.

Whoa.

One attack for Dave.

Whoa, whoa, not me.

Another for Tread.

Two for Tread.

Two for Tread.

We're going two for Tread.

So, it is going to shoot dislodged glow sticks at Tread twice.

Is it 12 hit?

No.

That's not going to hit either.

Maveris, it's coming after you.

Oh, I have a cloak of displacement.

I forgot.

So disadvantage.

So you see me with.

It misses you.

The glow sticks

past you.

Schneider cut Batman comb so cool.

Yeah, it's pretty sick.

Not in the original cut, by the way.

Davanaxius got one glow stick comb for you.

I opened my mouth.

Oh my god, they rolled so poorly.

That is gonna be a seven.

All right, a bunch of glow sticks go everywhere.

Innocent bystanders do get absolutely thwacked with that.

Whoa, that dude.

They took one to the dome.

Jin with one end got thwacked.

Watch out.

As a bonus action on this corrupted cuddle's turn, it's going to

use a revitalizing rise.

What?

Think of HP we didn't even earn?

Oh, we did earth one.

And we gained 12 hit points.

Oh, Jesus Christ.

Okay, you're still hit it for nine.

I would have hit it for like 60-10.

God damn it.

It's more healed than when we started.

Yeah.

It looks great.

Let's go back to Paul.

Maybe we should join them.

I don't know.

It's not Hogg's trade.

Like, please get me off of this.

That is David Axius.

All right.

Dave is going to use innervating breath.

Each creature in the cone must succeed on a constitution saving throw.

So you're going to breathe on a writhing cuddle.

Yes, but cold air.

I'm going to try and cool this thing off.

Okay.

Yeah, it's too hot, dude.

Everybody cool it.

Too sexy, dude.

Too sexy.

Yeah, I'm going to try and kind kind of like freeze the cuddle muddle.

Okay.

So they need to make a constitution saving throw.

Okay.

And I believe this is going to be a DC 14.

Wait, Mavericks, do you have Counterspell?

I do, yeah.

Okay.

Was it a spell?

It was not a Counterspell.

What?

It's just after me?

I'm being targeted.

Is it absorbing it?

Oh, no.

But they disappeared.

It got a

13.

Yes!

Deck save is 14.

Con save was 14.

You see, Dave

just tries to freeze it and cool everything down.

Dave basically just pours a bucket of ice on this cuddle muddle.

Pours a corona.

Arriving mask goes from

to

just blasting with a hose.

So they're incapacitated.

Okay, incapacitated, so it will be losing its next turn.

Tred, that's you.

Okay, Tred is gonna look at Jen with two ends in the eyes and sing, my heart is on deck, but you're the batter.

So take a swing at my soul and make it shatter.

Shatter on Jen with two ends?

No, she's gonna do it on the, on the, uh,

on the mask, but I kind of want to sing at Jen so she knows that I'm uh as you do that, she's like, are you tech, son?

Tread never says yeah, my gig at the piggly wiggly got cancelled.

I was just looking for your father.

Yeah, I was just, I had a weird dream about him.

What's up?

What does the cuddle roll?

Con,

DC-16.

Does the sticker, like, shout out to

the two crow?

No.

I think I got power from the sticker.

Dude, it inspired me.

Mac, you have to let the sticker go, man.

There's like 10 stickers and they only attacked me.

Yeah, I don't know.

Maybe it's your vibe.

It's spin a little bit.

25 damage.

Woo!

And it was all because I looked at the sticker right before I sang my song.

I felt like it bolstered me.

Maveris, here, take one of these stickers.

Good luck.

I got three now.

Now you have three.

Yeah.

I have a few more in my pocket.

Fish him out.

Next up is that's back around to Mavrus.

All right.

Let's just...

I'm just going to freak out on this thing.

It's actually frozen mid-rive.

so it's like

It's like a beautiful statue doesn't feel great.

This doesn't feel great

Scorching ray at a third level.

Well, no, I'll do it at a second level just because

then I will just make three ray attacks Not one.

Okay, that's just gonna miss does a 15 hit it does.

Okay, so one hit and then does okay, so that was 16.

So two hits.

Okay, so Mavrus, what are we saying?

He hucks?

I have to walk.

He doesn't have to.

He can't toss or flick.

Hucking to scorching rays.

He can yeat or huck.

At this faceless ball of limbs.

And then

I will also do one more meteor.

So I have three meteors left.

Shout out to the two crew.

Yeah.

Hey, Maveris, that was some great tossing.

Hey, it's not toss it.

Wait.

Wait,

I can't.

Are you trying to fucking trick me, dude

okay you stay in your lane good work

stay in your fucking lane okay dude

uh 20 damage

heal that

freaks

you have you fucking sex pests

you guys aren't canceled but you're really freaking close

mac that's here

okay i run away from every...

First off, can I do a perception check to see if the Seltzer spokespeople are around and if they look like excited that I'm getting fucked with?

Yeah.

I can't roll good.

I got a one.

Mac, you.

You're pretty sure.

When you say Seltzer spokespeople, you see dread and you start to wonder.

You're losing ambition,

please.

I just said I was

so much.

Yeah, I'm a fucking ambassador.

You're an ambassador?

Yeah, I am an ambassador.

It's not a good start to.

I'm gathering inflict wounds in my hand.

Yeah, I am.

What are you doing, bro?

Are they selling soldiers at the pickly wiggly dude?

How are you chasing the kick man?

All right.

I'm going to run away

from all of the stickers.

Run to the other side of the cuddle puddle.

Use all of my movements.

So I can't even see my friends.

Away from the fucking stickers.

Man.

And then I'm going to do second-level inflict wounds.

Okay.

Where are you going?

Why are you on?

Using the corrupted cuddle, you block your line of sight to the stickers.

Yeah.

And you don't need to do a wisdom.

Good.

As a reaction, I throw a sticker.

Mac, you forgot your sticker.

Make a paper airplane and just toxic.

I still only got an 11 to hit.

Oh my god, Murphy, you're so curious for me to

12.

Okay.

You always roll one left.

Well,

there goes a second level and a third level spell.

The stickers feel confident that they didn't even need to be there.

I just absolutely are so furious to have my friends.

Oh, you guys like stickers so much?

Well, stick this away from yourself, dickheads.

And I even haunts the Land's End catalog.

You all see the Land's End catalog gets sucked up into the catamaran.

Okay, Mac, we were all having a lot of fun and goofing around and like really being like really funny.

I haven't had any fun!

That is the corrupted cuddle's turn and it does nothing.

Wow, that's sick.

Dave, that is your turn.

Okay, first of all, I realized I couldn't.

On your turn, the cuddle comes back to life.

Oh, no.

Excuse me.

It's because you threw the fucking magazine in there, dude.

I freaking horned it up with the magazine.

It went great.

It went backwards.

Now I fall.

I tried to punch it the other way.

I'm not an athlete.

Thanks for reminding me.

Guys, guys, I hate to say it, but I'm getting chubbed.

I'm getting chubbed.

He's getting horny.

Katie's going to jump in if you guys scare freaking stickers everywhere.

Just like the fact that the blazing babe cannot be ignited before dawn, you cannot get too chubbed before midnight, before it's August.

You can't nut till 12.01, dude.

The arms of the clock.

They're getting so close to 12.01, but I'm thinking about the arms now, and I'm thinking about the arms touching me.

Freezeby!

Think of the huck, dude.

No, the toss.

Think of the toss.

Alright, you're right.

I'll stick true to the toss.

It's confusing because you can huck a freezeby.

Dave can you, dude?

I'm giving you a hug.

I gave it to you, man.

What don't you understand?

A lot.

Thank you, Mac.

Screaming over the moans on the other side of the bar.

It's so loud.

Why are you rude?

You're in a cave.

You don't need to be that loud.

Emily, I realized last time that I could have taken an attack in addition to my breath weapon.

Can I have three attacks this time?

Yeah, you can.

Yeah.

Thank you.

Wow.

Some of us get counterspelled by stickers.

Some of us can take three attacks.

Can I take three attacks?

Which one of us is married to Dave?

Dave drinks the power that he had the entire time.

What?

What the fuck?

Where did you get that?

David!

David?

David.

That's my middle name.

Dave David.

David's David.

All right, I'm going to take three attacks.

Okay, so that's a natural one on one of the attacks.

A 27 on the second attack.

And a

15 on the next one.

Two of them hit.

Two of them hit.

Great.

All right, let me roll some damage for it.

Just be nice to hit, guys.

I was really devastated that you got on the left.

I'm devastated for myself.

You hit something.

You hit the LLB and catalog.

You hit it right into the riding massive.

I was trying to hunt it.

Into the desert.

You can fap with your imagination.

Yeah.

Why don't you just join the cuddle puddle, man?

I can't imagine anything except for how my friend fucked me over, so it's hard.

That is 18 damage, but I think I'm also going to do a beguiling arrow.

Beguiling?

Beguiling?

Beguiling.

Beguiling.

I am quite beguiled by this.

Okay.

I've been sitting on that one for quite a beguile, huh?

Let's see.

So,

let's see.

The creature hit by the arrow takes an extra 2d6 psychic damage.

Choose one of your allies within 30 feet of the target.

The target must succeed on a wisdom saving throw, or it is charmed by the chosen ally until the start of your next turn.

Okay.

So

roll your damage because that's 18 and then seven more damage.

No need to charm.

No need to charm.

Although, I will say that as you sink a disc into this writhing mass of limbs, it kind of releases everyone from the cuddle.

Oh, really?

And so you've got a crowd of people here that you could have charmed by one person.

Who would you like?

I look at Mac.

Yeah.

I say, hey, man, I know you're having a bad day.

Yeah.

But I got you this pile of people.

I really appreciate that.

Hey, everybody, there's a lot of stickers around, and we got to get peeling.

We need to peel and destroy every sticker around here because Blazing Babe has gotten too corporate and corporations become alive stickers that steal your spells.

And that's not fair to spellcasters.

You got wrong.

From the years and past, it's gotten way more corporate.

Yeah.

As you say this, you see that this crowd of like people who were cuddling looks to you and just like totally falls for it.

Jen with two N's is totally charmed by this.

I need to, I'm going to break the spell on Jen with two N's.

Okay, you break the spell.

The other people go, they start peeling the stickers.

They go to you, Tred.

Hey, my dad.

You put your hand off my horn.

You need to take the stickers.

You gotta do what he says.

I'll take it off myself.

I don't want people appealing my shit.

I'm beguiling you.

I'll peel it off.

I'll peel it off later.

Later.

I live down South Carolina.

You gotta do what he says.

I'll be Guile you, man.

Does anyone have any alcohol so we can get it cleaner off?

Fuck.

Yeah.

I don't want to have a stick.

Yeah, I spiked my power in.

No, he said alcohol.

Like rubbing alcohol so they can remove it more easily.

Yeah.

Here's what?

Jen with 2N says,

I have some nail polish remover.

Okay, that should be really good.

That's awesome.

Thank you so much, Jen.

Jen, are you okay?

Yes.

We dropped a magazine in there.

Did you see like LL landscape?

She picked up a Land's End catalog covered in like this

goop.

Jen dies for it.

And she's like, is this my Land Zen catalog?

We wanted to return it to you.

That's why I punted it to you.

But it's, we're wondering.

If you don't want it anymore because it's covered in that goo, we can take it.

Yeah, you're Ted's kid.

Uh, yeah.

Okay.

God, I've been looking all over for him.

I can't find him anywhere.

Have you seen him?

No.

So he's like, is he missing?

Is he like involved?

Do you like

score?

No.

Of course not.

And that's where we'll end our episode.

Oh, dude, you're dad.

Rescind that accusation.

I didn't like score drugs, dude.

I'm in score drugs.

Still shouldn't say sexual infidelity.

That's a ransom thing to say about somebody's father.

That's a wrap-up on part three.

Zach.

Wow.

Do you have anything you want to plug?

I would like to, I guess I'll just plug Dimension 20 and

just

hang it out.

Everybody go hang out.

Hang it out.

Don't forget to hang out, everybody.

Hey, everybody, it's Emily here.

While we were recording these last two episodes, Caldwell spilled a corona light all over his character sheet, and I decided it would be fun to include at the end of this a sort of a blooper reel.

So, without further ado, here's another beautiful installment to spill stories.

Oh, no!

Fucking absolute spill boy.

Caldwell spills

skilled a corona everywhere.

It's perfectly

all over his character.

Just on his character sheet.

It's actually kind of perfect to have a character sheet covered in beer

for Holly Summer.

God, that's funny.

Summer character sheet.

Because on your character sheet, your character sheet wet.

How did you spill it hot?

It instantly soaked through the paper towel.

It's so wet.

Oh, two paper towels.

These are kind of bad paper towels.

Oh, my God.

It just squeeze.

That's a half bell.

There's half a beer on that character sheet.

Full half.

It's so wet.

Everything is so wet.

Cut this.

Your character sheet is steep and cowards.

Nabbing is like, cut this and save.

It is.

It's going to stink of beer in here for the next couple days while we're recording.

Stop.

I'm just really upset I lost so much beer.

Good God.

That's half a corona, man.

Yeah, get in there.

My arcane arrow abilities, they're so

It fucking reeks like corona in here, man.

Yeah.

Why does corona smell like that?

Why does it smell like corona?

All right.

I think we just got to deal with your soaked page.

This is all right.

This is my life for the next hours.

Shall we continue?

Yeah.

All right.

I think I pull out one of my discs and I'm going to like cool it down with my icy breath.

Okay.

And I'm going to try and cast innervating.

Actually, so wet.

I've sent him absolutely transparent.

There's just no way it's not going to come up constantly.

It looks like he has a wet piece of toilet paper for a character sheet.

Isn't the wettest?

It's the wettest thing I've ever seen.

It's falling apart in your hair.

You couldn't get your character sheet more wet if you took it into the shower with you.

It's like the paper in the opening scene of the Titanic.

Yeah, Jesus Christ.

Can you even read that?

Yeah.

Private Ryan.

That was a head gum podcast.