Tortle Tank: I'm In, Therefore, I'm Out (w/ Zac Oyama)

This is a head gun podcast.

Welcome to Tortal Tank, everybody.

Oh, yeah.

Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug.

What do we say?

I don't remember what.

Glug, glug, glug, glug, glug.

Glug, glug, glug.

I think we did.

Zach has famously always said glug, glug, glug, glug, glug

on Tortletank.

We've done this a million times.

15,000th Tortletank.

We are on season 65.

Yes.

I do feel like we, Zach is like the business turtle that is like so impressive that he barely even has time to come.

Okay.

That's his character.

Yeah, yeah.

So that's completely bald, big head, really severe eyebrows, three-piece suit.

This season on Turtle Tank, things are getting real.

So yeah, so we haven't done Tortle Tank in a while.

Just so for everyone to know, if you haven't seen our posts on Patreon or on Instagram, but Caldwell and his wife Susanna

have been expecting a baby.

A baby came a little bit earlier than expected, but everybody is healthy.

The Wolf Tanner clan is doing well, but that's kind of thrown our schedule off a bit.

We will give you more updates as we have them.

But for now, we are very thankful that Zakoyama has decided to join us for Tortal Tank here.

And shed his business acumen.

And

my old shell.

Wait,

I feel like, yeah, I think they changed shells.

No, that's a type of thing.

More of a snail thing, I think.

No, no, no.

These turtles, though, because

we need to keep things new and fresh, we get a new shell every year.

My shell gets buffed, shined.

And with that,

why don't we throw to our Turtle announcer, Jake Hurwitz, who I believe has a prepared answer.

Hello, Catchlings, and Shellcome to Turtle Tank, the show where we make our snap turtle judgments on your homebrew outside-the-box turtle ideas.

With me today are Shel Malee Axford, Brian Surfey, and celebrity guest, Zach Snapping Turtle Attack Oyama.

Let's dive in.

Snapping Turtle Attack, walk me through.

Zach Attack, Snapping Turtle Attack.

Yeah.

Oh, wow.

That's actually really good.

Zach Snapping Turtle Attack.

Wow.

Yeah, I wish I could say that I didn't spend a lot of time on it, but I actually did.

I feel like just snapping Zach Oyama would have worked or something like that.

Totally.

I like how you did it.

Like, though it is a lot on the tongue, it still does roll off.

Yeah,

it's not going to work for my eggs, but I'm glad you guys are willing to invest.

Yeah.

I mean, in fairness, I think I also read it pretty badly.

But let's dive right into the tank.

Our first idea comes from Nate L.

Nate L writes, turtles, may I present charged spells?

Let's say you're fighting a big bat.

It's been seven rounds of combat and you're running low on spell slots.

The BBEG seems like they have a good chunk of health left and all you have is a third level spell.

You can begin to cast a spell with a casting time of one action and instead of casting it that turn, you can choose to hold it until your next turn.

The spell acts as a concentration spell.

On your next turn, you can cast the spell and add an extra 3d6 plus your spell casting modifier to the damage, or you can hold it again until your next turn that's actually kind of interesting right because if you had some sort of bonus action economy right you could still be helping out on the field rather than doing the 3d6 i wonder if it's just like next level higher next level higher so you could almost be i kind of like it i don't like the 3d6 but i like the idea of charging up the spell yeah it's kind of fun that it has a uh a balance to it and that you are kind of more of a target when you're doing that and you don't really get to do much.

So, it's like you're right

because there's a concentration aspect that if you got hit, you would lose the spell that you were charging.

Yeah, and then you could potentially lose more, like, have wasted.

And it's a huge risk.

Does the benefit outweigh that risk?

That must be why this isn't.

Your turn might just fizzle.

I think it's like getting counterspelled.

Yeah, it's got a sort of a Dragon Ball Z aspect to it, which I do like.

And I know, I feel like the visual of it is what's selling me most

selling me the most.

For certainly, Certainly.

Yeah, I think this idea, I think you need to pump this up more because I do agree with Shelmali actually

one of our favorite turtles over here.

That

3d6 is probably not worth it.

Although this does sound like a last resort for spellcasters that are pretty much out of spells.

Yeah.

Right, right.

I mean, 3d6 is better than if you just did a level up of the spell for most, in most case scenarios.

so actually this person is rewarding the uh holding of the the charge up more yeah i i think that you could reward it even more i would argue i think you could do like max damage or something like that like you don't roll damage or something like that or i like that

it is you're taking two turns and

to cast one spell and you might might lose it they might save you might miss you know what i mean if you're shooting a fireball right there's like a deck save to that.

So, like 3d6 or something, the difference in that is going to be like five damage if they save.

I think, just to throw it out there, you know, again, this is Zach snapping turtle attack.

Zach snapping turtle attack.

Oh, yama.

Pretty weird.

Zach snapping turtle attack.

I say we up the stakes even more.

Oh, my God.

You're crazy.

What I missed.

You're crazy.

You get hit and you break concentration, the spell should go go off on you.

Oh,

I like that.

That's cool.

Yes.

Because

I think I do like the narrative aspect of I'm concentrating on a spell.

That means that I'm actually out for this turn.

Yeah.

Yeah, I like the little lightning bolts coming out of you, sort of krilling at the beginning of Saiyan Saga when he's upset that Yamcha's died and he says that he's boiling.

And then everyone else is like, okay, we got to protect them.

Yeah.

Right.

That'll be so sick.

That'll add so much spirit bomb energy, which we're really looking forward to.

Well, that's such a, that, though, is such a heightening of the stakes on one side that I'm like, do we need to heighten it?

I think it becomes a crit.

I think it becomes a crit if it hits.

And so, like, with, so with Fireball, let's use Fireball.

You could do 16d6.

You could do 16d6.

I think that's completely.

Oh, my God.

Because it's balanced.

It's just for us, people.

It's balance.

It's balanced.

It is.

Because of what our celebrity guest has

just thrown out there.

There's a chance that it works.

There's a chance that it works against you, and no matter what, you have to spend two turns doing it.

So that's not really overpowered to be able to cast two third-level spells.

No, just like in business, you assume a lot of risk, then you should get to reap the reward.

I have a question, though.

Does this turn into, because that reward is so great, and because if your party's all healthy, they'll be able to protect you.

Does it just turn into move one, I'm going to try and get a spirit bomb off.

Sounds sick.

Sounds cost.

And I'm going to do fifth level.

I'm going to do my highest level spell.

Honestly, sounds like a really fun way to run combat.

It sounds like an absolutely sick way to run combat: people just trying to hit the one person who's charging it up.

Right.

You're like our berserker.

Bring you right into the middle of a room.

Let's literally let you charge and then run away.

Yeah.

I feel like what we've come up with, though, is like a one-off thing.

That's like a one-off encounter in which this is the rule.

But I don't know, I don't know that this works long-term.

I think it does, though, because I think as soon as it blows up in their face, literally, and it's a risk.

So, you decide if you want to do that, it's not always going to be worth locking into one thing for two rounds.

Like, the battlefield changes.

If you're not running your combat, so things change, uh, then I'm not chortling over here.

This tortole ain't chortling.

The no-chortle tortal.

Yeah, I think I would put my eggs in for like a single encounter, but I feel like what we've come up with would be too powerful.

And I think it would get gamed.

I think two rounds to do one spell, even with a crit and with a chance of blowing it up on yourself.

I think this is not overpowered.

I'm going to say for a 75% stake in your deal and being willing to split that 75% stake with our celebrity guest, Zach, snapping.

Snapping turtle attack.

Snapping turtle attack, oyamo.

It's not confusing.

And now that I hear it more, it's actually making more sense.

It's really

every single time I hear it.

It just makes absolutely more sense.

That's also one of your nicknames is it's not confusing.

Zach, snapping turtle attack, it's not confusing, oh I'm afraid.

Yeah, oh yama.

I'm here to up the ante.

If you're willing to work with us, I'm willing to work with you.

I want every combat to be piccolo charging the special beam cannon while Goku holds Raditz.

Wow.

Interesting.

So I'm actually i we talked ourselves back into so that i now think that their original prompt was more realistic however it is lacking pizzazz for me to invest my eggs in it so i'm gonna put my eggs on ice okay my eggs are in uh zach how are you feeling i mean the question is does this scale right

battle to battle does it scale does it scale i mean do we want this everywhere or do we want this uh is this sort of just sort of a boutique experience is this sort of uh a I think it's a boutique experience, personally.

A boutique encounter.

I feel like it has its place in combat as a strategic use.

I think it's got enough of a downside that I don't think people will overuse it.

What if you restricted the amount of times you could do it a day or gave them exhaustion after they did it?

I like that.

I like the exhaustion.

That's perfect.

Exhaustion feels good.

Exhaustion feels going to be good.

Yeah.

Well, that's going to give people the, you know, the confidence to add it to their game.

Yeah.

Okay.

so we're making a lot of changes to this now.

So at this point, I am going to need a 90% stake

that I will be splitting with the other turtles.

But you're going to want Surfy's stink on.

Yeah.

90%.

You're giving, it's 10% of a much larger pie.

Yeah.

So that's a good thing for this turtle.

Surfie still gets 10.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, Surfey gets 90.

Yeah.

Sorry, I forget who Surfy is.

Yeah, yeah.

No,

I'm taking the 90.

That's me.

I'm Surfie.

Yeah, we're talking about the turtle.

There is no Brian Murphy.

There is only Brian Surfey.

Or Brian.

How about the

Surfey?

Brian and Surfey.

You guys can call me Brian Surfey.

Yeah.

So I'm in for, let's say, 14x,

and that's going to be for 90%

ownership of this Hatchlings company here.

That's huge.

I look forward to trying to convince you to let Calliope do this

on a smite.

Hey, if Calliope wants to take two rounds off to do one.

You're right, because she can usually attack three times with her bonus action.

By all means.

That's what I'm saying.

This isn't overpowering.

I wouldn't end up using it.

Yeah, I think this is cool.

Okay.

Then so sold.

So sold.

Our next submission comes from Matt McKay.

Matt writes, oh, great tortals, are you tired of your superhero-like characters still never getting better at stealth or nature?

Now you can.

Oh!

Because I present.

the training montage.

In between books, acts, arcs, this allows a player to add up to 1d4 to any skill.

The player describes a training montage to the DM, say who you're working with, what you're doing, how you're getting better.

The DM then sets a DC based on that description, and the player rolls a check of the skill they want to improve.

If they beat the DC by less than five, you can add 1d2.

If they beat the DC between 5 and 9, add 1d3.

If they beat the DC by 10 or more, add 1d4.

The better the description, the better story you tell, the lower the DC will be.

With this brilliant and inventive tool, your PC isn't stuck sucking.

They can improve.

I mean, I think I love this.

However, I do think that you're being too generous.

I do think the D4 is a little arbitrary.

I think, yeah, I kind of think that this is more of a level up thing.

When you level up, you can choose a skill that you want to improve.

Yeah, maybe increase a proficiency or even just increase it by one or increase it by a D4 or something like that.

Because I feel like every long rest, you are just going to make some.

Well, I don't know that it's every long rest, right?

I think

the idea would just be between arcs and stuff, right?

Okay.

Right, yeah, yeah.

Okay, then you're heading to the bar.

I think you only get to do it like once.

I would think the character only really gets to do it once, maybe twice.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'm saying between arcs.

Scratch everything I said.

I think it's cool.

It's a way to have characters.

develop more character, like characterize themselves by encouraging role play and by being like, this character is going to go off into the woods and train, or they're going to work on their sword play, or they're going to work on this.

Because it is kind of arbitrary.

As you're leveling up and you're getting more strength and you're getting more skills and everything, it is weird that you're kind of stuck with the proficiencies that you have from the beginning, unless you take a specific feat.

You theoretically should be able to get good at other stuff.

I do think it should be limited to skills.

Yes, yeah, yeah.

Because there are, you know, your stats have ways of going up.

That's what happens happens when you level up.

Yeah.

I would maybe tie something like this to proficiency bonus.

That way it goes up with how you level.

Although that's tough too, because proficiency bonuses get pretty high.

So the idea of like leveling something by three or something.

I think I like the idea of divorcing skills from the ability a little more because the fact that you're the same amount of good at perception and insight.

I mean, I guess that well, that tracks way more, but there are some that it's like, it's arbitrary that you're the same amount of good at certain things if you don't have a good idea.

You have like arcana and history or something.

Yeah, exactly.

Like just because you know a lot about this town or something doesn't mean you know a lot about spells or vice versa.

And it also is just like it acknowledges that your character has probably been making choices since they originally chose their proficiencies that are creating new interests in the character.

This reminds me of something from, I don't remember all of the mechanics of when we played Pathfinder, but there was something in Pathfinder that had more levels to this of it's like when you're familiar with something, you're proficient in something, you're a master at something, and it would go up and up and up.

And that I thought was a very cool system.

And it allowed for characters to be kind of more robust and have more interests and have more things that they know.

So I think this is cool and kind of lends to that.

What is keeping my eggs back right now?

Keeping your eggs in the basket.

Keeping my my eggs in the back.

Before we, I think this is something we're going to need to figure out together, me and this hatchling, is what do we do about this D4?

Because it feels arbitrary.

Right?

Like this idea that you'd have a montage and then get four better at athletics seems wild.

That's something that happens when you get plus two strength.

You know what I mean?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

I think that I agree with you that I think it was being a little too generous.

I feel like this could just be, you don't even need to roll for the stats.

I like the idea of you doing a skill check based based on, I think you keep everything the same.

You describe the montage, that determines the skill check.

And then based on how you do on the skill check, I would say with a success, you add one.

And with a like incredible success or a crit or something, you add two.

What about with a really bad, what about on a nat one?

I would say

you get slightly worse.

I think you just waste your time.

You're right, because you wouldn't.

It's like if you, well, I guess you could practice wrong and learn bad skills, but that seems a bit extreme.

Right, bad habits.

You know, you're learning tennis, but with the wrong grip.

Yeah.

You're going to get destroyed.

You're learning to stealth, but only with bells on your shoes.

Right.

Yeah.

You have squeaky feet.

Squeaky tennis shoes.

You know, I think the D4 of it all has really just held my eggs back.

Oh, yeah.

Wow.

The Zach snapping turtle attack, it's not confusing Oyama.

His head is going into his shell.

Whoa.

Fully.

I am in, and therefore I am out.

Wow.

I do like that as a catchphrase.

Yeah.

Yeah.

For me, I think

there's a lot of DM discretion around just how you describe the montage.

It's almost too arbitrary.

It's like how you describe the montage is how you set the DC.

And then it's still just a random role that's going to dictate whether you get one, you know, like a bonus.

Yeah.

I think for me, my head is also in my shell and therefore I am out.

I think I'm willing to collaborate.

I'm going to put forward one

slightly cracked egg.

Okay.

And say like, hey, can we low ball offer?

I know.

And I think I'm going to say like, I really like the idea, but like, maybe we lose the D4 out of it all.

Yeah.

And maybe rather than being contingent on how well did they describe a montage, maybe it's more like, you know, it doesn't necessarily have to be a montage.

Like, what is that player investing in?

Does it make sense for the character?

And I think then it's like, maybe you even just boost it by one.

I think we can all agree that the D4 is a mess.

Right.

We all agree.

I think, okay, now we're weighing in too hard on the story.

The D4

has to go.

We all agree the D4 has to go.

The D4 is a non-starter.

The D4 is an absolute non-starter for the Turtles.

The D4 is a disaster.

But I will say, I actually don't mind the DC based on the description because this reminds me a lot of inspiration, which I think is not bad.

I think encouraging players to describe what they're doing, to get more into their characters, to be like, if it's a fighter or something and they want to learn history, describing their fighter, going into the library or like working with a tutor or something, that's very cool.

And that will lend to more interesting things down the line.

Oh, I think I'm just saying, like, yeah, describe what your character does, but it doesn't need to rigidly be a montage because some people might just like not think that way.

I think you can also, you can also maybe set a DC and have one be for one point in the skill and one be for two point in the skill

and have them roll with advantage if they describe their montage as being very cool and they decide to spend a lot of downtime on that.

That's clean, dude.

That's clean.

I almost want like a downtime pool of points you could possibly add to that.

Yeah.

Oh, that's interesting.

Whoa, but would it be shared amongst the party?

That's more interesting to me.

Yeah, that's more interesting to me.

That's a big downtime pool of points that you can add to a certain role if you if you want to later on.

Yeah.

So just sort of because of the d4 of it all, I am going to join Shel Mali Ashford and lowball you.

So I'm going to put a cracked egg in.

Emily and I are going to split, let's say, 99%.

Yeah.

Yeah, we're going to split 99%.

Damn, Brian, that's salty.

Just because we have to rebuild this from the D4, which is just.

It's going to take your investment is also your time.

I know.

That's kind of what I'm saying.

That's kind of what I'm saying.

know.

We're starting from the ground floor here with the D4.

You guys, do you know how long it's going to take to get that D4 out of this place?

Right, because that's all people are thinking about right now.

It's big tanks.

We're filling in a think tank

into the turtle tank to extricate that D4.

So if you're willing to work with us, we're willing to work with you to salvage this because I do think there's something there.

Okay, great.

So sold.

Our next idea comes from Jester the Cleric.

Jester writes, Tortles, I come bearing a potion that takes after Murph's heart.

Oh, I believe they mean surf's heart.

Night is a rare potion that is the world's strongest energy drink.

It was originally created by gnome alchemists so that they could spend more time working.

This potion is dark blue and purple with an iridescent shimmer and has a lemony aftertaste.

Just like rocks.

Oh my god, I love the way they're describing this.

Upon consumption of the potion, the drinker gains the benefits of a long rest immediately.

For the next five days, the drinker does not require sleep and finds that if they do try to sleep, their mind simply won't let them.

As such, every 12 hours that pass while under the effect of the potion, the drinker gains the benefits of a long rest.

The drinker has disadvantage on all wisdom and intelligence checks, but has advantage on all strength and dexterity checks.

The drinker's speed is also increased by 30 feet.

Because of the extreme energizing nature, after the five days have passed, the drinker passes out for 24 hours straight and cannot be woken up by any means other than a wish spell.

All I ask for is one sunny side up egg for a 33% steak in my company.

Wow.

Okay.

So the terms are set.

I do like that they came with terms.

I love the vibes here, but this is a little too complicated right off the bat.

Because what I love about this

is the sort of parody of what real life energy drinks do to the body.

So I'm out as soon as this is for five days because I'm like, where's the parallel there?

This is already just to ask, out, therefore, in or in, therefore, out?

Oh, I'm in the back.

I am in, therefore, out right now, but I might be out, therefore, in if we chat this out a little bit.

Because again,

love the vibes.

He's peeking out of the shell.

I'm peeking out of the shell right now.

Getting a long rest instantly is enough of a boon.

You don't need to have this extend forever.

If it was one day, would it be interesting?

Because they do have this every 12 hours.

you get the benefits of a long rest, right?

So it's basically one day in which you get to have two long rests in one day.

I don't even know why you need that.

Why not just have it be the energy drink gives you a long rest?

I don't think you've ever played in one of your own campaigns.

But you would just need one long rest.

But if you got a long rest, I get what you're saying that I've whittled down your resources or whatever.

But if you guys got one long rest, that would give you your spell slots back.

Right.

Is this what the Dudle potion was, right?

The Dudle potion, the reason that was a mistake, and for anyone at home or for who forgot, or Zach, if you're we're gonna re-litigate this.

We're gonna relitigate.

The double potion was an item that I gave them to give them an instant long rest, and that was for story purposes so that they would immediately go to the next thing and could keep moving.

But instead, they just saved it.

And so they just had these overpowered things that gave them a long rest.

So when did we end up using them?

Way later.

I don't remember exactly.

But

getting a long rest from a potion, that's enough.

We don't have to do any of this.

Every 12 hours, there's a long rest.

Five days, you can't sleep.

We don't need to do any of that.

Just one long rest.

per drink.

You have disadvantage on everything.

And then maybe you get a level of exhaustion even after you sleep the next time because energy drinks are bad for you and you had bad sleep.

And, you know.

Yeah.

Now, what do you think about the advantage on strength and dexterity?

I don't get that.

Disadvantage.

I don't understand that.

I understand that.

I feel like I'm more mentally sharp when I've chugged a five-hour energy

well I guess I'm I think intelligence maybe it works but like the wisdom right it's kind of like I do wisdom I could see not yeah yeah I could see like getting super caffeinated

I guess I'm comparing it to other drugs of being like you feel like you're smarter but you're not necessarily I would say I like I would say strength and intelligence and then dexterity and wisdom were bad because I feel like you're you're strong but not that coordinated when you're hopped up on one of the things.

See, this again, this is making me go in to be out again because this is all just complications.

It's enough, you get all of your spells back.

That's the bonus.

The disadvantage is that you don't actually have mental clarity.

You didn't sleep, so you're tired.

But you're, so you're saying it's only for a caster then.

Could I take it as a fighter?

Yeah, I mean, you'd get your action surge back, you'd get all of your hit points back, you'd get all of your hit dice back.

The counterpoint would be: I like the narrative of, okay, we're going to do something really physical, and we're willing to sacrifice some of our other skills to get advantage on strength, to get advantage on constitution, let's say.

Yeah, this to me is I like the advantage on checks for me.

This is D4.

I like this.

This is D4 all over again over here.

I'd love to jump in and just sort of

take my head out of the shell.

Yeah, you really kept it in there for a while.

I was a little spooked.

I was a little scared.

But I just want to say, I think we could retool this a little bit as well.

I think if it was something like you get some spells back or some short rest stuff back and then you can't sleep that night or something like that, you know, like truncate the experience.

Maybe it's like benefits of a haste spell sort of for a little bit.

Oh, that's interesting.

Haste spell, that that feels more one-to-one to me.

Right.

Haste in a bottle.

Right.

Bottled haste.

I do like the idea that you can't sleep that night, right?

So you get a long rest, but then you can't sleep that night.

So you basically are like, cool, I have to do something tonight.

right?

And tomorrow's fucked.

Right.

Yes.

And so then you have to kind of like, basically be like, if you're going in, being like, we have an objective, you got to finish it tonight.

Yeah.

And then I think you could do something like to mirror the real life effects of energy drinks.

You could be like, you're under the effects of the haste spell for like two hours, and then you have a level of life.

And then you start like kind of tweaking and feeling nauseous.

Yeah.

Right.

And then the next day you kind of feel like, damn, I could use another one of these.

Yeah.

And you're like, is this this just a cycle of caffeination in which I am so scared?

Maybe this is just how I should live.

I guess.

Yeah.

So from a business person's perspective, I'm in.

I'm out.

And then therefore I'm in.

Okay.

Wow.

I think this is going to require a little too much tweaking.

So I am, I'm in, therefore I'm out.

The thing I like about it is the most is I like throwing a grenade into your campaign that you don't know how it's going to work against you.

Yeah.

So that is interesting to me, but I feel like I'm not compelled enough.

I feel like some of the changes we're talking about it is making it feel like less of a grenade to me.

And so therefore, I'm in, therefore, I'm out.

No, no, no.

You're the wait.

Which?

I'm in, therefore, I'm out.

Okay, so you're out.

I'm in there for I'm out.

Right.

Oh, you were saying that.

What's your question?

I thought you were speaking positively on it.

I was saying I like the idea.

Like, I kind of like the getting advantage on some checks and disadvantage on others.

Right.

So you're out, therefore, you're in.

No, I'm in, therefore, I'm in.

No, but I'm saying hearing positive stuff.

Right, but I'm a business turtle and I'm hearing a lot of the hesitations.

And I'm, so I'm sort of feeling like I actually don't know.

I don't know how to market this because clearly like people have different objectives.

Okay, so you're in, therefore, you're out.

I'm in, therefore I'm out.

Zach, I'm out, therefore I'm in.

Was originally in, therefore you are out, but now you are out, therefore you are in.

I hope that clears up.

I'm out, therefore, I'm in.

I enjoy taking substances in campaigns.

Yeah, okay.

I did it in campaign one with Arcane.

I think it's great.

So, I'm out/slash-in.

Yeah, I do love substances in campaigns.

Maybe I could contribute the yolk, and you can contribute the white of one egg that we could fry Sunnyside up.

What are you guys doing?

I don't have a problem doing that.

Sorry, Zach Snap and Turtle Attack.

What are you going to do with your egg white that you don't use?

And Snake Hurwitz, or what are we calling you?

Garden Snake Huritz.

Garden Garden snake herwitz.

What are you going to do with the yolk that you don't use?

For me, I'll consume the yolk myself because I need that protein to stay sharp.

I'm going to keep that egg white in the freezer so I can sort of whisk it into a cocktail.

Ooh,

okay, that's great.

Frugal.

That's great.

You have to conserve your eggs.

So sold.

Our next submission comes from Q-Nit.

Q-Nit right.

Q-Nit.

Hi, cuties.

My boss's partner is playing.

So, yeah, my boss's partner.

Okay.

One degree removed for sure uh is playing in a game where the dm has introduced an absolutely dangerous homebrew

at the start of the game the players are given a d100 at any point in the game they can replace any dice roll with the d100 however after doing so the power of the d100 is handed over to the dm now the power to replace a dice with the d100 is in their hands this goes back and forth during the rest of the session until someone throws it away in anger i suppose Some sessions, it's used recklessly, but in other sessions, it's never even touched but for a fearful glance.

For a D100% stake of this dicey game of mutually assured destruction, I'm prepared to accept one D100 eggs out of which I will give 99% to my boss.

Wow.

Okay.

I feel like this is a very good thing.

First off,

I love it.

It's crazy.

It's kind of like, what if crits weren't enough for you?

Yeah, I'm kind of like, this has already been market tested and it doesn't work because it's either used recklessly or it's not used at all it almost feels like you have to make a world in which there is a narrative reason for there to be sometimes such wild but also what does it even mean to get like a 70 on your attack roll i just got a fucking 87 guys so you got an 87 on your attack roll

is that a quadruple crit

yeah you're right on an attack roll well you would never use it on an on an attack roll right what would you use it on though i think you'd use it yeah the thing that trips me up most about it is that the the player and then the dm switch and so the dm can kind of it's at their discretion to use it on anything and so it kind of creates this meta uh level of conflict that is almost outside of the story is yeah where i'm getting a little tripped up yeah you're right and this dm theoretically has like could stack several d100s against individual players right or i think they would just have one because it would just be the one you're right Oh, it's only one.

I just got an 81 and then a 78.

And I am kind of like, what do these mean?

Right?

Like, they don't really mean that much more.

When they're that far away from a 20, then

you already feel like you've succeeded so widely.

Yeah, this is just what if bardic inspiration was completely broken to the point where the 70 of the numbers were meaningless.

You know what I mean?

Like getting a DC 30 or a 35 or something is meaningful because you can do something.

Are we still rolling over here?

Yeah, I got a 61, then another 81 if you can leave it, and then an 18.

Yeah, it does feel it starts, it's too extreme.

But you said, I'm gonna roll.

That's only a 23 interesting audience.

What if it was just the players can just add an extra D20 to a roll, but then the DM also has.

I just don't get that, though.

What is the point, though?

And yeah, we can be rude about this idea because it's this person's boss is partner.

So it's not partner.

I've gotta got say that.

And it's in a game that they play.

So it's pretty far removed.

I gotta say, the people who are playing D ⁇ D with their bosses, that's so wild.

I don't think they're playing D ⁇ D with their boss.

I think their boss is relaying home stories from their partner.

Maybe.

I'm already feeling sort of like a difficult power dynamic.

Yeah, all right?

My boss's partner is playing in a game where the DM.

So it's so many degrees removed.

We're going absolutely A to D.

You know what?

This has been play tested.

The people don't like it.

it or they like it too much and you're just playing a different game No, no, no, but this has been played in their they said in their game They're not using it or they use it recklessly also the cap table of this deal is so screwed up.

We've got a boss.

We have a partner.

We have the partner's DM we like I just I just don't know where the equity stands.

I can't get myself Yeah, how many people are we gonna have to cut in?

I'm just trying to I'm trying to wrap my head around what it means to roll like a 70 on a persuasion check or something.

I don't even want to see what happens to that.

You know what I mean?

Like what does happen?

You just bewitch the person.

They are just like, oh, you wanted a cheap price on this sword?

Give me a persuasion check.

I roll a 95.

I give you the store and propose a million swords now.

Yeah, what happens?

Swear fealty to you for some reason.

Yeah,

I become your squire, even though I have a family and I'm a blacksmith and I live in this town.

I think it makes more sense if you wanted to have like a, hey, when you guys are desperate and you need an advantage you can take one but you automatically ping pong wong back to your uh dm i think it makes more sense to be like almost like a bardic right you can add a you can add a d12 to a roll in a desperate moment but then the that becomes the permission of the dm as well this is yeah i think that when it's a d12 or something like that where then the numbers are just within the realm of what you see in dnd that makes it more exciting because rolling like a 35 is super super exciting and i don't think rolling a 92 would be yeah no as i was rolling them i was sitting there being like what does this even mean it's nothing it's it's well then it starts feeling like school and you're like oh a 73 is really high for dnd but not that high in class yeah

like out of 100 i got a c minus that's not exciting

is there something and and maybe this is dead on arrival to making it a damage die yeah i do think that you could do that

you could do like a d12 or something i still think a d100 is that even going to feel good?

Well, a D100, you're basically like, I hope I take the bad guy out because they're going to use it immediately back and like and potentially insta-kill one of us.

I guess.

But potentially not.

So then that roll, you really understand the consequences of that role because an 18 versus an 87 with damage, that I can get a clear idea.

I do think

a situation where you're rolling a D100 for damage or having a D100 rolled against you for damage is the stakes are really high.

And you understand what you're doing.

I can at least conceptualize what the parameters of that are slightly more.

Rather than like asking for a ride to town on somebody's wagon and rolling a 64.

I think that's yes, exactly.

And they're just like, keep the wagon.

I'll make it.

The mule turns on his owner.

Yeah.

Looks at you, speaks to you.

You understand the language now.

You have proficiency in animal handling.

I'm your donkey now.

The wagon awakens.

Damage makes more sense.

sense, but I think we're starting at not making any sense.

So

yeah, because this wouldn't even feel good, right?

Because this is so outside of the game that if you guys were fighting a major rival or something in the campaign, and then you're like, I'm gonna use my D100 thing, okay?

I do 90 damage out of nowhere.

I typically roll a D8 for my damage, so I do 98 damage, and it's just like, Cool, yeah, you killed him.

All right, uh, and the next turn, I knock you out or outright kill you, and you're just like, huh.

Okay, no, that wasn't anything.

Maybe if you had like a bad guy who was like all about cosmic balance and was like you you may do this, but then I may also do this, you know, like maybe you could do it for an encounter.

Yeah, I'm so far you will wield the same powers I do.

I'm so far in that I'm out again.

My head is like poking out the back of the shell where my tail would go.

Yeah, I'm so out.

Dang.

Where's your tail?

Yeah, it's

the tail is in.

See, that's the thing is the tail is in.

I'm in, therefore I'm out.

Yeah.

I'm in, therefore, I'm out.

I've tucked into my shell and I'm making a little sleeping bag of my own shell.

For me, I just want to live in a world where you go to your boss's partner's DM and say, Jake Kurwitz is in for 100 eggs.

So

I'm in, therefore, or no, I'm out, therefore, I'm interested.

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Thanks, everybody.

We have another spell-based one, actually.

JW writes, hello.

I don't know if this has ever been brought up before.

I doubt it's original.

We'll see.

But an idea I've always liked would be allowing your player to use one or two extra spell slots when they're all out of spells, except for each spell level they take, a D6 or another die of your choice of damage.

It would be like they were overexerting themselves.

So if you were out of spells and needed to cure wounds, you could cast it at a third level for three D6 of damage.

I think it could lead to some cool roleplay opportunities, but I DK if it would be balanced.

Ha ha anyway.

Love y'all's work.

Yeah.

Honestly, the pitch was very relatable.

Yeah.

I really enjoyed.

People are going to like you.

I can tell.

I can tell.

The market is going to like you as a figurehead.

You've got Riz.

You have a story.

Yeah.

You definitely have.

We have a story, which is IDK, L-O-L.

Yeah.

I feel like this is interesting that we're getting another pitch.

So it's clear that at people's tables, the restriction of spells is

a corn.

Spells are an issue.

Yes.

I would up the cost here

because I think 3d6 is not enough.

Because you could potentially just take six damage.

Although, depending on your level.

I mean, you would typically, it would average out to be nine damage.

It would average out that you would roll on average a three, I think.

And so it would be nine damage, which is not enough to pay for a third level spell.

I would do this almost like divine smites.

And I think you take like 2d8 of damage each level.

I think you have to pay heavily for this.

And then I think, I mean, theoretically, then you could be casting like a a cast like Chain Lightning or something and do a fuck ton of damage.

So it's like all really cool.

But if you're going to do that, you take...

You pass out as you do it.

Yeah, you take like 10 d8 of damage, which is, I think, about what chain lightning does anyway.

So yeah, you do it to yourself in addition to doing it to other people.

Maybe there's something to like it being like negative hit dice.

Oh, that's a really good idea.

Oh, that's interesting.

Yeah.

So it'd be like, if you're going to do a fifth level spell, you pay five hit die or something like that.

That's kind of interesting.

I like that because then it scales based on what kind of HP you have.

Yeah, I might even, I might up it.

I might do your hit die plus one hit die or something like that.

Yeah, I think that feels right.

It needs to be a lot.

So if you want to do a fifth level spell, it's five, it's six hit die, which is kind of like a smite.

Yeah, plus your con.

Yeah.

No,

it's getting too messy now.

Yeah, this is getting too messy.

This is a D4 all over again.

I'm so sorry.

Yeah, so wizard, most spellcasters have a D6, so it would only be D6s.

So let's think if that would be worth it.

So I've got, let's say I'm playing a wizard.

Wizard, I think, I don't know if sorcerers are

a D6, but I know that wizards are a D6.

So let's say I'm playing a wizard.

My party's in a bad way.

We've all, because also, presumably if they're out of spells, they've been fighting.

Yeah.

So presumably they've already taken a little bit of a toll, right?

And I'm sitting there and I'm like, yeah, okay, I really need to cast a fireball.

I'm going to dig deep.

It's going to be four D6 of damage to do it.

And I just took 15 points of damage.

Yeah.

I mean, but then you get to do eight D6 for free to a bunch of people.

Well, and then also you lose those hit dice next time you're trying to rest.

Yeah.

Oh, that's interesting.

Hit dice.

Yeah.

So it's like you can't recover.

Maybe, maybe the answer is you, it's your hit dice plus one

and per level, per level of the spell that you're casting.

We also, you have to remember, I used the example of one of the more powerful spells.

Like Fireball is like one of the more powerful spells, especially at that level.

But it gets more broken the higher level you go.

So you might have to cap it because once you get to like, you know, a seventh level spell or something, taking 76 to cast a seventh level spell is nothing.

Yeah, you're right.

On average, you're only going to take like 21 damage.

Yeah, you could cap it at three.

Yeah.

I feel like there's a lot of stuff that like caps stuff at three.

I think this still needs some more workshopping.

I don't, I think I might be in there for him out.

Emily's rolling dice over here.

Just to play test it briefly.

That's 22 damage to cast a fireball on a wizard who has low hit points to begin with.

But they might not have low hit points because they might.

But if they're out of spells, they're probably mid-combat.

Yeah.

I'm ready to have a conversation.

There's something to me about the, you know, doing it to heal somebody feels more like, you know, I could see a wizard digging really deep to bring their wizards don't really have too much healing, though.

I see.

But I think that's.

I think there might be one spell that they can like hurt themselves to heal other people, but they don't have cure wounds or anything like that.

I think this is why it's unbalanced in a way that doesn't work is because you could theoretically cast something like a heal spell or a mass cure wounds and just healing way more than you're paying for and you're doing it for free.

Oh, you're right.

If they're if a druid had it, they've got D8s, and then they, but they could do like a mass cure wound,

and then so they're hurting themselves, which is like easy.

They're still hurting

themselves.

I think this

is

also mass cure wounds, I want to say, is six, yeah.

In which case, you would, or like some kind of mass heal, I want to say is around six level, in which case you're taking 12 D8 of damage.

Yeah,

I think that I think that we're onto something and you're seeing a hole in the market, okay, and you're you're approaching it with not only humility, let's say.

That pitch.

Definitely humility.

That pitch had a charming level of humility, but also simplicity.

So I'm going to put forward my entire brood of eggs.

What?

Wow.

Wow.

I won't even mention how I was out.

Yeah.

I believe the eggs have just become completely meaningless.

Honestly, I was just sitting on these eggs and they were starting to hatch.

So I was like, I got to move these before they hit.

For this is the bonus episode.

You can't invest any more eggs.

You're completely, yeah, you're, you're fully leveraged on this on this opportunity.

I will say that I'm out and therefore in.

Simply put, you've charmed me.

Wow.

And I'm really loving my contribution of it being hit dice.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I'm predicated.

I think we make some stipulations.

No healing spells.

And once per long rest, you can do this maybe or something like that.

Okay.

I like that.

I like that.

And I'm putting in one egg.

Okay.

And I'm in there for I'm out because it sounds like this thing needs guardrails.

It needs workshopping.

It needs a lot.

It needs everybody.

It needs cooks in the kitchen.

And I'm just, I'm not willing to do that work.

It sounds like a lot of non-communications.

I want to hear from you in a few years.

I want to hear from you.

You seem really stressed out by the idea of working on this.

Yeah.

I could barely read the Turtle Take intro.

I'm really not going to get in the kitchen with anybody.

But I wish you guys well, and why don't we take a look at one last idea?

Does that sound good?

Okay, great.

Yeah, buddy.

Okay.

This one is from ELF 0004.

Hello, Tortals.

I'm here today.

Hello.

Shello.

Shello.

Shello.

I'm here today to talk to you about a problem that I guarantee everyone who plays 5e has encountered or will encounter at some point.

I cross my arms and lean back.

I lean forward, gently leaning my pen on my lip.

And drawing drawing a huge line from your upper lip to your nostril.

I furrow my brow and just start taking notes on a legal pad.

When is the worst time to roll a nat 20?

No, Justice Axford, I am not talking about initiative.

They mean Shelmolly.

The absolute worst time to roll a Nat 20 is when you are rolling with disadvantage.

You see the beautiful 20 staring up at you, but you can't do anything about it.

Not anymore.

My little bit of homebrew allows you to take that otherwise useless Nat 20 and turn it into a plus one on whatever attack, check, saving throw, or whatever else you are rolling.

Is it going to make the difference and push you over the edge to clear that DC?

Maybe, probably not.

But wouldn't it be so cool if it did?

At the very least, it is going to do something other than just sitting there feeling like all that luck just went to waste.

I'm offering a license to use this homebrew in perpetuity throughout the universe.

Hell, you can even port it over to Pathfinder.

All I ask in exchange is a shout-out in the episode the first time this rule comes into effect in any given campaign.

Wow.

I think this is a really good idea.

I really thought you were going to say when you roll the Nat 20, you also role play the parallel universe where you crip.

Oh,

now that's fun.

Okay.

To me, it feels so slight that I feel like this rule is something I will forget.

Yes, agreed.

You would forget it, but imagine the one time that it takes you.

Imagine the one time that you save because of that one.

Yeah.

I think it's pretty.

I don't think it would happen very often.

I'm kind of wondering if we boost this, and if you get a nat 20,

then you can...

re-roll the other dice or something.

But then that would potentially...

What if you get the average of the two dice?

So it's like you have to take the lower one unless you crit, in which case you can take the average between whatever you rolled and the 20.

It's not that messy.

It's the same.

It is because then you're sitting there and you're being like, I add 12.

I add 12.

So I got a 20 and a 15, which means I get a 17.

You're making it harder.

You're making it harder than it is.

17.

That's exactly what I'm saying.

Yeah,

maybe other people are better at math than you.

Oh,

I'm listening to the raw audio.

Not me.

Maybe other people.

I can tell you it's not you.

It's not Jake, It's not Caldwell.

Finn's fired, baby.

I think that, like, I kind of think that the Nat 20, when rolling with disadvantage, though, is like a Nat, like, it's the same feeling as a Nat 1.

Uh-huh.

So I don't know.

Is the purpose of this?

I don't know that I want to lose that sense of loss from that moment.

That's interesting.

Yeah.

Do the highs feel as high if the lows don't feel as low?

That's what I'm saying.

Like, it's part of, it's one of the saddest moments, but that makes the happier moments better.

It's a beautiful sentiment.

If you're just guarding against the gut punches of D of DD, then maybe you have to let yourself get the wind knocked out of your system every once in a while.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You got to climb the roller coaster sometimes to have the drops, you know?

Yeah, that's true.

So true.

That said, if I rolled a notch 20 and then this six, super easy to take the average between those two, which is go ahead.

I know I'm getting there.

I probably got it.

Dude, I think it's between 6 and 20.

I would.

14.

Was it 14?

No, it's 12.

Of course.

Right?

No, no, no, it's not.

It's 13.

It's 13.

Dear God.

We were so close.

We were so close.

And then add your modifiers because it's not even, that's just the roll.

Okay.

I got a not 20 and a 7.

27 divided by 2.

So that's going to be 13.5.

Okay.

There you go.

And I just did that really fast.

Do we round down or do we round up?

3 plus not 20, 23 becomes 11.5.

I just did that pretty fast.

Do we round up or do we round down?

So we round down.

We round down.

We round down.

Do we round down?

Now add your modifiers.

Disadvantage after all.

Yeah, it's just needlessly gone.

The yoke is not worth the crack.

I am in, therefore I'm out.

It's true.

I also think, like I said before, I think that you don't want to take the edge off of that moment of loss because

that is kind of part of the fun of the game in my opinion that's why you rolled with disadvantage for a reason and rolling a nat 20 is kind of good with disadvantage because it means that if your other roll is good then you're good you know what i mean

oh i could see it that way yeah like well no i think rolling a nat 20 with oh yeah yeah it's not worse right than the other one because you need you need to flat roll in with disadvantage you need both rolls to be good because you're going to take the lower one so having one nat 20 means that one one of your dice are good and you just got to hope that then it just becomes a flat roll essentially.

But if you're a mystical bitch like me and you're like, the dice contains its 20s and it doles them out accordingly.

Oh wow.

You're like, oh my God, I missed out on a chance.

It's one nat 20 shire.

Yeah.

You know, despite my terrible dice luck, I still don't really believe in dice luck, even though I have all evidence.

I don't actually know.

I don't actually.

It's just fun to.

It's fun to hold them in a mystical regard.

However, what do you guys think about my pitch, which is that you roll

the parallel universe where you crit just for the fun of it?

Yeah, I like that.

I like that.

How long?

It doesn't take that much time.

It's two minutes.

It's quick.

It's quick.

It's fantastic.

It's two to eight minutes.

Yeah, okay.

And you go, that would have been cool.

That would have been rad.

And then you restart.

You say, that's what you imagined, you idiot.

While you were imagining this, this is what actually happened.

I wish that happened.

That actually could be cool.

Really?

Really?

How?

I don't know.

I guess, yeah.

I mean, I guess you could do it.

I think if you did it for 10 seconds, it would be cool.

Or if you were like, you swing out and it looks like you hit him dead on.

But once again, Dragon Ball Z style, you see, he's held up one finger to block your axe.

Right.

There you go.

That's how.

So strong.

There you go.

That was great.

It's great.

I just add like three more minutes of the role play.

Yeah, and then we keep going.

And then we'll keep going because you set it up so perfectly.

And then since I boxed it with the one finger,

you are

surprised by that.

You wouldn't think that someone would be able to do that.

So you look down and you realize that you actually missed.

Oh, no, you're roleplaying too.

Oh, I'm role-playing two minutes.

I'm not role-playing the good parallel universe.

You're not doing it enough.

You're supposed to live in the crib for about two minutes.

Give me wish fulfillment.

Start the clock.

I'm a different player at the table, and I'm going to go to the bathroom now.

Right.

Okay, so Zach's gone to the bathroom.

Hard one, you've just swung at Galad.

Okay.

You see, you have perfect form, just a home run hitter swinging for the fences.

You tighten your dastardly feet.

You can see your obliques, and it looks like Galad is flat-footed.

Like, typically, he is the type of fighter that would parody a straight-on attack, but you are coming at him with so much aggression, precision, and skill that you undoubtedly are about to hit this man.

It was my destiny.

It was your destiny, you think to yourself.

As you swing back, your hair kind of lifts up off your shoulder.

Right.

All of the momentum taking you forward.

Your hair is now.

I'm going to go to my brow also.

And I glare.

You glare at at your hair.

I bare my teeth, Murph.

You bare your teeth.

And glad, if anything, is hiding his teeth because he's just making sort of an open

so we're still talking about what might happen here.

So

really, glad it has gasped because you couldn't possibly have seen this coming.

As you continue to swing and your hair lifts from your shoulder and sort of goes in front as the momentum of the axe moves forward and becomes parallel with your body, slowly going from parallel to your body to a little bit in front of your body, then a little bit more in front of your body, then a little bit more in front of that until you're fully extended and you really put your hips into it.

And all the local squirrels start to cheer free.

Yeah.

Like how do they react to lunar eclipse?

They all drop their nuts and they all just start squeaking all at once.

Every squirrel.

Every squirrels drop their nuts.

Every Every squirrel.

They drop their nuts.

The ones up in trees drop their nuts.

The ones on the ground drop their nuts.

One of them says in perfect human English, that was a nut drapper of an attack.

Yeah.

They're fucked for the winter.

You swing forward and you connect with Glad's chest.

Oh, wow.

But then he is, of course, wearing a breastplate, so it just sort of dings off.

Oh.

Man, it felt so good to live in that world for a time.

Right?

Yeah.

It really did.

Yeah.

It really did.

I'm all the way out on this idea.

And therefore, I am in.

The

in-and-out metaphor has ruined the show.

Thanks for being back to the opposite.

I'm glad to bring that.

I'm glad to bring that in.

All right.

So, not purchase.

Is anyone in on this for real, though?

I think

I'm out.

Yeah, yeah.

I offered my note and

I realized it was really bad.

So I think

I'm in slash out.

The average.

I crumpled up my little piece of legal pad paper and I threw it

at Surfy.

Whoa,

I'm going to go ahead and get Zach snapping a turtle attack into a headlock for attacking Brynie.

Let go.

Brynin.

Brynin.

Get off me.

Yeah, so we sort of zoom out as the turtles all attack each other.

And that's going to be it for this episode of Turtle Tank.

Thank you so much to our celebrity guest, Sakuyama.

Thanks for coming by the Tortletank.

You got anything you'd like to plug?

I will plug

rotating heroes.

We got a fun

art coming up and

Dimension 20.

And

yeah, that's it.

Yeah, we've got a bunch of Dimension 20 live shows coming up.

So check out Dimension 20 Live.

We're going to be coming to in the new year.

We're going to be at MSG, but that's sold out.

But we've got Hollywood Bowl.

We're going to be in Seattle.

And we're also going to be in Vegas.

So be on the lookout for that.

Jake, you got anything to plug?

Yeah, I have a show just, I think it's a little bit bigger than MSG in Chicago with Amir next week.

Hell yeah.

Wherever the Bears play, that's where it is.

Headgum.com/slash live.

You guys are playing the Bears?

Yes, me and Amir and me and Amir Flash.

Wow, and you guys are performing at a football game.

That's huge.

That's right.

That's right.

Halftime show.

Sweet.

And you can follow us on social media that Remir may not use at CH vs.

Me, at EAXward's Emily, at Jake Her, which is Jake, and at Zakoyama, Zakoyama.

That's correct.

Right on.

And you can

don't tweet about the show.

I fucking hate that site.

Whatever.

Hashtag NadPod N-A-D-D-P-O-D.

We are, we are.

The youth of the nation.

We are, we are.

The youth of the nation.

It's the end of the show, and you know what that means.

It's time to shout out our benevolent council of elders, starting with Brad D.

Jeffrey S.

Lord of the Fjord, later McSkater, Matt M, Cutter W, Jeff C, Daniel G, Danielle the dastardly dame, beard man Dan, Carpe Liam, Brian, who is worthy of a first-class cringing, Victor T.

Balnor's Boy, Huid's friend, Justin I, Danny Danster, TJM, Trele the Cray Fray, Christopher B.

Daniel R.

Jordan L.

Cyborg version of Josh the Kobald, Targot, Stevie Waggs, Hellish Rebuker, Ph.D., Princess Yar, Jory S., Rachel from Animorphs, Jack L., Nicholas C., Star of Every Film Ever Made in Bohumia, Mike H., Elka Smeltzer Plus, Great Value Gemma, Tyler F., Fightin' Favorites, The Favorite Things Podcast, Nabadger, Heradrian, Carborough, Chapel Hill FPV, Rex Thaniel The White, Cece Lulu, Old Cobbs, Dunkel, Older Byr, Erqu Poirot, The Rabbit Folk Detective, Timmy R.

Reiko, Calder, Cums Cold, Shoutout to the Cold Companions, Frosty Facial, Taylor B.

The Vengeful One-Winged Angel, Cass, Strong, Grinch, Steven, Starspawn, Starspawn, Starspawn, C,

Mike K, Lady Taco, Ya Girl Got Knocked Up, Congratulations!

Nick W.

William W.

Big Fat Bird of the Mad,

Eric McD, Ananorama, Percival Frederick, Stein von Mussel, Klazowski, De Rolo III, J Dragonborn, Guardian of the Vibe, Honoring the Cock, Flux Roo, Ben A.

Dave H.

Dustin S.

Danny F.

Hawkeye Pierce, Bookvar's Assistant, Izzy F, Big Bad John, DPC is awesome.

Hashtag honor the cock Shoan, the shade trim mechanic of Zeldar, Summer Rose Grantere, Cat C, Misa of House and Zunza, Ariel the Occasional Mermaid, Selena, Valaci

P Perky always,

Pat L Maxwell J Lauren H Serve 16, Annie the Fay Wild Therapist, Connor S.

Salil, BioQuirt 7, Amber Dextrous, Bean Rat was innocent, Jack H.

King of the Mole Pupil under Iron Deep, dressed in blue and fighting his way through a bracket, style, tournament, Valen, Paj, the bitchin' bunny bard, Carlin C, Noah, the bullywug boy, hashtag honor the cock, James G, everything bago, the Eladron who just wants to hang out with his pet badger Stripey, Daddy Master Dandy, Han,

Eric B, Marcos, Frida M, Pago, self-proclaimed Fae King, asking you to watch the Disruptor, starring Allie Beardsley and Grant O'Brien.

Tracy P.

The Crick Elf Librarian.

Maggie.

Holly the green laughing hyena finally caught up to the duck team.

Akash the car.

Kyle, just Cal.

Aaron B.

Russell H, a monk named Dilgo.

Yes, the whole thing.

Yes, every time.

Cody C, Lorelei the succubi and Kira the succulent snack.

McKenna Stout, your friendly neighborhood, Yaunt and Yunkel, Andrew and Sid, John Adams, the right-in candidate for 2024, Meg, the mail carrier manager of Bahumia, James F.

Austin S.

Wayfarer now has to do something with the trolls.

Get rid of them, turn to page 42, keep them turned to page 69,

Shane C, Burpo, Good Barrel, Barbarian, Welsh Linder, Garrett G, One Big Curd, Renee the Monster Captain, Box Clifton, Olivia the Enchanting Bard, and Jared the Soap Opera Cleric, who are playing Stick It to the Man Down with the Monarchy, Winter Slade, Fico, Garrett the Artificer, Damon J,

Anthony the Raddest of Dudes, Josh H.

The Fairy Say, Caw, Caw, Congratulations to Susanna and Kabla on their new baby, Cantrip Dumbledore, the bare onesie-wearing barbarian, Lexi H, Roger L.

No Drog, the pass-a-fist barbarian, Jino T, John Luca, Tristan, the talentless honk, Leon Kumori, legendary hero of Bahumia from a future campaign, Shenanigans O'Connor, Mios the Great, Joshua S., Alexander, Lins W., Johnny Dude K Pavu Eskinar the Goliath Paladin providing service with a smile Tim M, a cat napping in a sunbeam listening to a podcast MLG Cheeto C Jam Hampton Shell B.

Kenna's now first favorite sprite girl manifesting return to Twank or Hot Boy Summer 3 80s Ski Lodge Winter Jamboreen Jackson R Snailess who's infecting Worshires

with from within, official Ned Flanders, Captain Morgan Pirate Wizard, Papa Sky Days, Mima Sky Days, Megan N, Anthony B., Savannah H., Balnor's best friend Steve, Stephanie of House and Tsunza, Benjamin A, Gimli the Corgi, Papa and Foster's canine friend, Mickle A, Froky, the two crew blew through,

Jennery,

Ethan the Mailman Maple the Shy Bookworm Ashasaurus Seth E Billy Batson Tori the tungsten dragoose Michael Lyle S the Second Jacob the Purveyor of Shenanigans Carl B Plumber of the Realm Parcel Dex Riddlewell Hannah A Raw Ace Dregs High Lord of Critzburg Darius D Troy's Mom Vin Diagram, GKCTE TE, Catamilius the Consumed, Bard of Holding, Clinton P.

Thankful Cam the Frog Man, Dean, Jake W.

Hi Mom, Tuesday Cross, the Choose Your Own Adventure Rider, Not the Pornstar, Steve L.

Alex G, Zibita Baccari, Nicole, Katarina C, Lady Jacqueline P of Castle Whitestone, and finally, Potato Punk.

Thank you all so much for your support.

We love you so much.

Ma, mwah, mwa.

Goodbye, sweeties.

That was a head gum podcast.