Adventure Book Theatre: Goosebumps - Little Comic Shop of Horrors

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This is a Hitgum podcast.

They made a book about a video game. Game, game, game.

We made a podcast about that

book.

Welcome to API Book Club, the only book club that makes you dumber. That's right.

The lorelords are back. Brian Murphy, Emily Axford, Caldwell Tanner.
And, you know, we tried to get a celebrity guest. We couldn't get one.
Jake Hurwitz filling in. Thank you, Jake.
What a leader.

For stepping up.

Happy to fill in. Yes.

You are not stunt guesting. Yeah.
Adam Pally fell through.

We went with your safety guest. Yeah.
Welcome. Welcome, Jake Hurwitz.
We're so happy to have you here for a very special Halloween episode. That's right.
What's spookier than books?

It's been a minute since we've done an episode. Yeah, Yeah, they have the book.
It's a boo in the title. That's right.

It's right in the title. There are a lot of scary books, okay?

I don't know what you're forming around about. I am part of a scary book club.
Yeah, there you go. Paper cuts, concepts.
There's some scary stuff in there. Yeah.
Okay.

Well, we've got here goosebumps. Reader, beware, you choose the scare.

Over 20 different scary endings. This one's called The Little Comic Shop of Horrors.
Whoa, I love comic books. Yeah, and I figured, like, we're nerds, we're gamers.
Yeah. So let's go.
Let's go.

Yeah, dude. Comic book shop.

Who loves comic books more than Jay Kern?

I love comic books. I love to game.
Yeah. Again, we were going to get, you know, somebody like a little bit more in the genre, but it just didn't work out.
And Jake's here. We appreciate it.

I actually did do something comic book adjacent recently. What is that? Which is that I saw the third.

The third installment of Venom. Emily pulled an Austin powers on Venom.
She had never seen the other two before you saw venom three

she just saw venom three and never saw the last dance

and i accidentally did it on opening night so people were cheering and laughing and stuff emily came home so emily went to see this and i was like i'm not gonna go see venom three i haven't seen the other two so emily went and saw it came back and was just like it was a little strange this like people were having big reactions to characters and stuff and i'm like yeah you you don't know what's going on you didn't watch yeah the movies.

This is actually a thing for Emily because we also did this with Stranger Things. I think we skipped Stranger Things season three

because we had done

season one and two back when everybody was watching it. Then, for some reason, we fell off with season three.
I think we were just busy or something.

And then, season four, everyone was talking about it coming back. And Emily just goes, Everyone's talking about it.
We should just watch season four.

And I went along with it. And since then, Emily has gone down a dark path.
Well, the venom thing, in defense, I was not trying to be like weird.

I just was like, I really want to go to the movies proper, be in the theater, and see an action movie. Yeah.
And it's mostly horror movies out right now. So this was my only chance to see some action.

And you know, I did enjoy. I did enjoy some of the action.
Did you go in fully blind or did you watch like a YouTube video? Anything at all to catch? No, I knew nothing about it.

Knew nothing about it. I don't even know that Emily could pick Venom out of a lineup.
If I had to guess, if I had to guess his catchphrase is with pleasure.

If he says that multiple times.

I could see that. Did you? Yeah.
I saw the first one on a plane. Do you remember if he said with pleasure? I don't know if I remember that or just your voice was so good that I was.
Oh, yeah.

That's absolutely right. We got to get into this.
We have a whole book to read. Beware.
Do not read this book from beginning to end. Hey, you never noticed that comic book store before.

It's kind of dusty, but man, does it have great comics? Yeah, it's got Venom.

It's got the later issues of Venom, but none of the earlier ones.

Wow. Is that Axewords in there? Holy shit.
I'd like to read those with pleasure.

We don't know that that's his sketch phrase. We have no idea.

If you check out the books on the Spinner Rack, you're spun into a comic book universe. Which superhero do you want to be? Will the super villains destroy you or worse? Will you end up as an ink blot?

Are we going to get that venom in them? If you followed a horror sign to the basement, look out. You'll find horror down there, all right.
But not horror comics. This scary adventure is all about you.

You decide what will happen and you decide how terrifying the scares will be. Start on page one.
Yeah, yeah, we know. What?

Horror fantasy.

If you riveted. If you make the wrong choice, beware.
So take a deep breath, cross your fingers, and turn to page one to give yourself goosebumps with Murph, Murph, Murph, Murph, cross your fingers.

Cross my fingers? Okay.

They're crossed. Okay.
There we we go. Okay.
Is everyone happy? Yeah. All right.
So happy. Which book was it? It wasn't this.
It was like a DD book or something, right?

Where we started reading it, and then it was like we were supposed to start on page five arbitrarily or something. Like they were

a stinger. Yeah, yeah.
Jesus. That's right.
Yeah, some of these things are a mess.

Hopefully, RLC is a good idea. I think RLC is buttoned up.
I think he's got it buttoned up. By now, number 17.

Yeah, this is the 17th. Choose your own scare.
Give yourself goosebumps, whatever. Do you guys think that we should try to write our own choose your own?

No, I did. I did.
Oh, yeah.

But it's true. We should veer into the horror category.
I think that's really, you know, maybe we can write our own choose your own venom adventure. Oh, yeah.

You pick which symbiote you want to get inside you. Wow.
Okay, here we go. All right.
We've got 90s attitude right off the bat. Symbiotes were really good.
All right, ready?

I thought after-school clubs were supposed to be fun. You grumble.
You are.

You love comic books, and a comic club sounded cool, but it's run by Horace

Grumbacher, the dullest kid in school. Oh, my God.

Come on. I love the idea that, like, that's such an old person insult.

That's such an adult insult to be like, I find him rather dull. If somebody called me dull, I don't know.
I wouldn't know how to respond. Yeah.
You're so bland, Horace.

How could someone make a subject like comics boring? Horace manages. He clicks his slide projector to a picture of a comic book cover.
Here's the first issue starring Superdoer, he drones.

Today it's worth nearly $200,000. Click.
Oh, he's a collector. And here's the first appearance of Ballistic Bug.
This comic goes for nearly $20,000.

As if any kid in this club can afford that, you think. The projector clicks again, and a horror comic appears on the screen.
Excellent. You love horror.
But Horace can even make horror dull. This is

a colored. Yeah.
This issue of the seller. I signed him method dull.

This issue of the seller of scary stories went for $1,600. He lectures.
An ugly face sneers at you from the comic cover. Yuck.
It looks like a rotten pumpkin with warts.

Is Horace dull, or is he interested in finance and perhaps going to be setting himself up for a life of financial stability? You think he's got his finger on the art market pulse.

You're not making him sound less dull.

Oh, shit, he's a finance pro. Awesome.
No, I'm saying, I mean,

there's nothing dull about financial stability.

All right. You turn away and notice the classroom clock.
How did it get so late? You run outside in time to see a horrible sight. Oh no, you groan.
What's wrong? Find out on page two.

Yeah, I know how books work.

Let's see.

Do we get to make a choice? Not yet. Cross your fingers.
We're warming up. The school bus is already a block away.
It left without you. Thanks a lot, Horace.
You growl. You growl.
You growl.

We're groaning. We're growling.
You're clearly mad at something. I fucking hate Horace.
You're focusing. What's going on at home? Yeah.
What's going on at home or what is going on with Horace? Yeah.

Like that you're like bringing so much energy to your issues. Do we love

Horace?

I think Horace might be beautiful. Yeah.
Horace is beautiful. He's financially stable.
He's everything. He's got his

art market pulls. He's everything we're looking for.
Yeah. We want a finance pro.

Okay. Because of his boring lecture, now you have to walk home.
Oh, can you imagine walking home? Fuck, I hate the 90s.

If you follow the same route as the bus, you won't get home for hours. You said you'd better try a shortcut, even though it means going through a part of town you've never seen before.

Did I just suggest that was a wild thing to even cross our mind? That we might just follow the route of the bus? Because the bus.

Right. I'll walk by 38 other kids' houses

and then I'll be home tomorrow morning.

Are you going to like call your mom? Are you going to like page page your parents to let them know that you're just following the bus home?

Yeah, can't you call collect and be like, Dad, pick me up right before they accept the charges? Yeah. You walk and walk along a shortcut.
With every step you take, your book bag gets heavier.

The area you're cutting through looks a little weird. The buildings are all old and dingy.
The stores huddle together as if they're holding each other up. And the stuff in the windows is very weird.

You pass a clothing store that seems to be selling Halloween costumes, even though Halloween is months away. Not in this world.
Right.

Not in our world.

Is Halloween today?

It's now. Yet it is now right now.
Happy Halloween. So we should describe Horace for everybody who wants to dress up as Horace for this Halloween.
Yeah. Slicked back ponytail.

$4,000 suit. 39 years young in a $4,000 suit.
Bursting out of a turtleneck underneath a also tight blazer. Thinnest chain you've ever seen.
Rolex.

And those dolls in that toy shop window, they look like vampires. You're relieved when you spot a store for vacuum cleaners.
That's normal, you think. Please call your parents.

And next to it, hey, a comic shop. Want to visit? Go to page three.
Great. Yeah, of course we want to visit.
You step inside. The comic shop is daily.

We do want to visit because Horace is putting all these ideas in our head about collecting comic books. And right now I'm thinking, all right, I got to set myself up for financial stability.

We're trying to level up. Okay.
Got to get some fluid assets. All right.
So we go in.

The guy who owns the store

grunts and just goes, humph, kids.

Oh my god. Who does he expect to come in and buy comics? I'm 38 and a half.

Isn't that my point? Is that what our canonical age is when we do these? Is our character 38? It's always mid-30s. Yeah, yeah, we're leveling up.
38 and a half. We've got some silver wisdom.

As you walk past in the store, our owner calls out, leave your bag up here, you scow. Why is he treating you like a thief? You think about leaving, but you'd like a rest from walking.

Besides, you'd really want to check out the comics. Strolling around the racks, you notice the latest issue of Major Disaster.
You bought it just a week ago.

This guy has a sticker on it for half price. Walking a little faster, you start picking up comic books.
Doesn't the owner know what these things are worth?

Well, we just had that whole show and tell for

you. We know what they're worth.
Now we care. Wow.

It's not so dull anymore. Yeah.

The deeper into the store you go, the darker it gets. A pair of bookcases block your way, but there's a little space between them.
You see light coming through the crack. Turn to page four.

This is just a regular book. So far.

So far, it's exactly how a book works. Yeah, this is just.

can we turn to the manga section please mark yeah you squeeze between the bookcases into an open area dusty light bulb dangles from the ceiling and its dim glow you make out another spinning rack full of comics a signed taped at the top of the rack says you think this is a library look but don't touch or you'll be sorry you peer at the comics on the rack whoa that's the issue a ballistic bug from horse's slideshow what oh my god oh my god what's the price

this is how we get a leg up on horse we can flip this yeah the comic is marked for two bucks We're going to fucking bury Horace. Fuck you, Horace.
Well, are we?

I mean, I thought we wanted to be with no.

Yeah, this could start a

lot of relationships are, do I hate you or love you?

I think that we need to show Horace that we mean business. We got to collect this comic.
We got to trade it in.

We got to go to like a couple art galleries and like buy some like fucking coming artists. Like really hold on to those for like 20 years or so.
Yeah. And then, boom, we got to work on ourselves.

Yeah, yeah. Is there going to be a choose your own option that's wait while your assets accrue value.
Definitely. And up there on the top rack, is that the incredibly expensive copy of Superdoer?

Then you notice something else. A doorway beyond the rack.
Metal stairs lead downward to the basement, you guess. An arrow-shaped sign points down the stairway.
It reads horror.

There's also a tattered sign on the open door. You try to make out the faded letters.
It seems to say, no admittance. Transpassers will be glomped.

Glomped? Glomped? Can you spell that for me? Wait, is that like G-L-O-M-P-F-E-D?

What's that?

Is that like when you go to a comic convention and you give like really big hugs to all the cosplayers? Whoa, it's hugging a cosplayer. Glomped? Sure, okay.

Yeah. Yeah.

You don't really care. All you care about is making a tough decision.
Should you take a closer look at the rack or should you go down to the horror section? Let's look at the rack.

Yeah. Let's scope this rack.
We know that these are worth like... Tens of thousands of dollars.
Why would we just go to a different section? We are in our money grind mindset.

The only racks we have time for are comic racks. Racks on racks on racks.
Racks equals stacks. Yeah.

Turn the racks into stacks. While you were in the strip club, I was in the comic shop.
Yeah,

we are the worst version of this character that we've ever been. Okay, you've got to see if that $2 comic is really the famous first issue of Super Doer.

But when you grab the spinner rack, it starts to turn by itself. Still worse, the metal rack seems to have glued itself to your hand.
You can't let go. Your jaw drops as the moving rack

yanks you off your feet. We weren't supposed to touch it.
It's a metaphor for greed.

Yes, that's too true. No, it's a metaphor for holding on to this asset and letting it accrue value.

So, this is actually, this is the perfect ending right now. We have to keep hanging on.
Yeah, this is what we get for hodling. We can't hodl.
You're right, we're doing it.

This is what we all need to be doing with Litecoin. Yeah.

This is a 401k. That's all this is a retirement.
That's all this is.

Yeah, the shop owner looks at you and says, you held on just like you're supposed to. Good job, diamond hands.

And then he gives you $30,000 in cash and says, don't put this in the bank. Put this back into crypto.

Otherwise, you'll have to pay taxes on it. Yeah.

Okay.

Your jaw drops as the moving rack yanks you off your feet. You're dragged around in a circle and the rack keeps speeding up.
Soon, to your horror, you can't touch the floor anymore.

It's like some sort of weird carnival ride. The rack is whizzing around and you're flying through the air.
Hey, hey, mister, you yell to the shop.

This is the high-paced world of the art market. It's gonna feel a little dizzy.
Yeah, for sure. You yell to you, hey, hey, mister.

You yell to the store owner, but the words are torn from your lips by a screaming wind. You feel as if you're caught in a tornado.
And what is the crypto market if not a tornado?

Destroying our preconceived notions of what

money could be deeply unstable. Laying waste to your financial systems and building something new and beautiful in that place.
Yeah, there you go. You clench your teeth to keep from groaning.

With pleasure.

Etiquette, we must invest. Your body is stretched out like you're a warm piece of taffy.
You shift your grip. One hand touches a comic on the rack.
The comic starts to glow.

Now, suddenly there's a new pole. You're being sucked into the glowing comic.
Turn to page 103. Here we go.
I'm being railroaded, but at least it's out of order. All right, all right.
Oh my God.

Okay, great stuff coming up. Your body feels as if giants have been using you for for a game of tug of war.

Poppin'

popping my back. Yeah, I would absolutely do that.
Yeah, yeah, fix all my back problems. Oh, that'd be great.
Yeah, a little decompression of the spine. Mr.
Incredible style, just ruin my back.

Straight. Just get fucking tractioned out from all your joints.
Yes, man.

You're sick and dizzy from the spinning, but you notice something is wrong. The world seems strangely flat.

So we're. All right.
So we're Tiptoe Bros who believe in the future. Oh my God.
Wait a second. We entered our own NFT.

Yeah.

Holy shit. Oh, we're in the

NFT. It's also worth mentioning that between the bus stop and here, we did have four tequila and sodas.
Right. You got to.
We're 38.5. We're allowed to do that.
Yeah.

We go to happy heart with all our younger coworkers.

I filled a hydro flask with tequila. Yeah.

We say bring your own tequila. You just get soda for free.
free.

Brighten up, Horace. Yeah.
The colors are very bright. You peer up at an incredibly blue sky.
Sky, wait a minute. How did you get outside? An elbow jabs you.
Someone steps on your foot.

You aren't just outside. You're in a crowd.
And what a crowd. You're packed in so tightly you can barely move.
The person behind you is actually breathing down your neck. Could this be a parade?

What's going on, you ask? No one answers you, but a voice cries, here it comes. A shadow falls across you.
When you see what's blocking the sunlight, your eyes grow big.

It's a gigantic tin can with arms, legs, and a head. No, it's a robot.
I don't believe this, you gasp in a strangled voice. You'd better believe it.

That thing is as big as a skyscraper and it's striding straight for you. Go to page 69.

Oh, is there any better sign that we are on the right path?

We shoot back a pint glass of a tequila soda. We finally, you know, you want to slurp.
Our finance bro is finally going to get the sex robot that he's been dreaming of.

Wow. I went to the movies with my friend friend Dan a couple weeks ago, and he had something I'd never seen, which was like a soft flask that was exactly the size of his bladder.
A camelback.

Yeah, but it was like a soft one. It was just kind of like a little like wine skin, essentially.
But it was like, you know,

he told me it was the exact size of his bladder so that he could like drink all the water in it and not have to pee. And so that's what I imagine.
I don't know if that's how it works. Totally.

That blows up. Are you calling my friend Dan a liar? No, I'm not.
How does he know how big his bladder is? What is it?

It could be as big as a human bladder, but I still think you still store stuff. I don't think you completely empty it every time you piss.

I don't know enough about pissing, and he seems confident.

People have different bladder sizes, but maybe he got his measured, or maybe you could measure yours by drinking to the point where you were like, I actually need to pee right now, and then measuring what comes out.

He might have done some experience. I feel like he said this casually, and you maybe took it as that, like his medical.
and you're bringing it up on Mike. I was

really impressed. He pulled it out of his satchel.
It looked like a North Face wineskin. It was fucking crazy to see.
All right. Anyway, that's what we're chugging our tequila soda.

The movie industry is dying, and he is technically committing a crime, so we'll be reporting him to Anne.

Thank you for letting me know.

He jugged from our tequila soda.

Revoking his stubs. Well, we got the tequila soda at the bar because we show up to every movie three hours early to get wasted, and then we go in and see the

while trading stocks on our phone with really bright screens.

We see the sound

fringe cufflings clacking against our bright vibe. Ruining the vibe at McGuffins.
Yeah. Okay.
Yikes, you shout. Everybody run.
You push, you shove.

You try to get out of the giant robot's path, but the crowd is too thick. You're trapped.
Hey, a whiny voice says in your ear. I know you.
Wait. You turn and spot a familiar face in the crowd.

This kid from school named Wally. Come to think about it.

He hasn't been in class lately. No, this is where it is.
Yeah. Oh, I thought it was going to be Horace.
No, this is Wally. This is just Wally.
And the love triangle emerges.

Who do I see?

Because Horace is perfect on paper, but Wally just makes me feel a certain thing. Wally works with us at the hedge fund, I think.
Right.

Yeah.

Wally, where have you been? You've missed out on so many deals.

Where are we, you cry? What's going on? You just got here on the Spinner Rack Express, huh? Wally asks. God, he's such a fucking know-it-all, Wally.

Yeah. Okay, I'll make this fast.
You're stuck inside a comic in the comic books universe. You roll your eyes.
Yeah, right. It's true, Wally insists.
Now, here's the deal.

You can shift from comic to comic using a magic word, but if you use it too often, you'll turn into an inkblot. He shudders.
It happened to the kid I was with, Alex. Do you know Alex?

He tried to leave this comic. Yeah, we know Alex.
He worked at a different hedge fund. And now he's an inkblot.

Oh, right. Yeah.
That's great.

You try to crush the competition here. Yeah.

Now he's just a smear. You glance anxiously at the robot.
It's awfully close. We'll be smeared too if if we don't get out of here.
You declare, turn to page 33.

An inkbot is kind of like Venom. Sure.
Yeah, that's a great point. He is.

Is everyone considering this? I just want to make sure we take the time. And Venom is the perfect size of a human bladder.

Yes.

He could make himself that. Yeah.

Venom can drink your piss so that you don't have to piss. He can be a parachute and he can drink your piss.
Venom. You don't have to

drink your piss.

I took the liberty of drinking your piss

With pleasure.

Wow, kinky. Wow, I have venom powers, but you drank my piss.

Okay. Yeah, I guess so.
That seems rad. Do you like fix my liver too? No, just the piss.
All right. Honestly, to never have to piss again, you can do a lot with that time.

I don't even know that I would piss

a great.

I know, no, no. It would be incredible to not have to not have to piss anymore.

I just think about my productivity and my trades. Wow.
Ever have to get off of my five different screens?

Occasionally, Venom will take over your body and go on rampages, but you never have to pee again. That's a pretty good trade.
Yeah, that's huge.

Okay, the crowd still isn't moving, and the robot is only a couple of giant steps away. Have you used these magic words, you ask? Wally nods.
I started out in another comic.

I was some superhero's dopey sidekick. When I met Alex and we came here, all you have to do is think of another comic and say the magic words.

Okay, that gets you to another comic, but is there no way to get back home? Back to the real universe, you ask. What do you guys think the magic words are going to be? Bye.

Hold. By tree.

Yeah. Hold.
Wally glanced at you. I think so.
A mad scientist can send you what? But you have to talk him into helping you. What the fuck? Is it Dr.
Eek? Is he back again? It's Dr. Evil.

You can barely hear him. I wish.
People are screaming and bumping into you. What are the magic words, you beg? Wally closes his eyes thinking, then he yells, guest shot, and he disappears.

You think of the two comics you've been studying on the comic rack. Guest shot? Yeah, I think, isn't it? Like when somebody does like a guest cover, I think so.
Okay, yeah, that checks out.

That checks out.

That's kind of what I'm doing on this episode of 8-Bit Book Club. Yeah, there we go.
Okay, we close our eyes and shout Jake Hurwitz. Jake Hurwitz.
Whoa. Magic words of Jake Hurwitz.

Everyone tried at home.

The comic book says,

What the hell? You think of the two comics you've been studying on the comic rack. Both of them are mad scientist villains.
Will the magic words take you to them? Time to find out.

You close your eyes. To visit the world of Superdoer, go to page 104.
If you want to go to Ballistic Bug, turn to page 66. I definitely want Ballister.
Superdoer. We know that.
Wait, what? Really?

Ballistic Bug. Okay.
Superdoer is that's the lucrative comic. That's the one that's worth all of the cash.
No, you're right.

If we're in a growth mindset, we need to go to Super Doer. But everyone is going to be after the Super Doer number one.
That's like action comics number one. It's too hot.
It's too much.

There's too many eyes.

Right. If we're trying to buy low, we can build our collection.
I see. You're right.
We need to buy low, sell high.

Buy low and hodal. Let's go to the bug.
Buy low. Okay.

I don't know how shorting works, but this might be. Yeah, okay.
We're going to short ballistic bug. Whatever it opens.

They zig, we zag. Yeah.

We're absolutely zagging right now.

All right. You shriek at the top of your lungs.
Guest shot. When you open your eyes, everything is still dark.

For a second, you think it's the shadow of the robot's foot coming down, and then you realize it's nighttime. With a sigh, you lean against a nearby brick wall.
You made it. You're safe.

Of course, now you have to to find out where you are. Too bad it's so dark.
Suddenly, yellow light glares around you. You blink.
You're blinded. Then you hear a faint buzz.
It rises to a whine.

You're dazzled to see a figure in a tight brown costume with flashing insect wings coming out its back. Ballistic bug.
You're in big trouble, the bug says menacingly. No.

No. Oh, no.

Drop it.

They're not supposed to be able to tax me.

Trouble. You look down.
There are tools in your hand. You also notice an open safe next to you.
Uh-oh, you're a burglar.

Ballistic bug doesn't like burglars you'd better jump to someplace new and fast jump to a different fun burglar

all right do we want to go to um another episode of ballistic bug or uh do we want to go to a different comic this was a waste of time We need to sell. I know we had to diversify.

You're right, because you know what? As soon as we were like, oh my God, no one's going there. We're geniuses for going there.
I really did get high on confidence.

And now I'm realizing it was delusion, not confidence. Yeah.
Right. And you have to know when to sell.
You have to know when to sell. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah.
We're going to sell. All right.
We're going to sell. We're selling.
All right.

Okay. We're selling at a massive loss right now, which is fine.
Which is huge for us.

We can make this up. We just have to bet big on the next thing.
Does this put us in the red? Okay, yeah. Deeply in the red.

Deeply in the red. We are in the crimson because we are bleeding out.
Yeah. Okay.

But what comic will you jump to? One of your favorites is Silent Sal, the comic book about teenagers.

What? Wait, wait, that's all

about teenagers the comic book about teenagers that feels irresponsible but there are no mad scientists there well you could try superdoer but you better make up your mind fast

silence out

silence out ballistic bug is zooming straight at you he's going to flag you

all right

wait hang on because because we need to have our finger on the pulse of what the youth is doing because they are actually the drivers of the market so we need to go to the teenagers and say what are you what are you investing your attention in because that's what i need to invest my money in all We have to observe that.

Ballistic Bug is about to kick our ass. And we think of another comic called Wise Guys.
Like, why? Like, why the letter?

Wise. Why the last word? Like Charlie's Angels.
Oh,

but we're flipping it so it's dudes now. Okay, cool, cool.
Thank God.

Thank God. Thank God.
God.

We figured it out. All right.
So we're fading into another scene. We got to turn to page 74.
Signing it out. Are we going to set Silent Sal? We're going to wise guys.

That's actually, I feel so railroaded that we couldn't go to Silent Sal for. Yeah, I was like, it was going to be like an Archie comic sort of world.
I don't know.

And we're going to get to hang out with like a jughead type. It's not like teenagers as they navigate something.
It's just, it's about teenagers. What?

Okay, you glance up. A huge hammer is hurtling toward your head.
You throw up your hands, but you know that won't stop the falling hammer. You're dead.
What? Ballistic bug kills people, apparently.

Your skin suddenly starts to tingle. Sparks fly around your hair, then a lightning bolt flies from your head.
It smashes the hammer to bits. Your jaw drops.
You stare at the pieces of wrecked hammer.

No way. This can't be happening.
You blurt out. While you blink at disbelief, the wreckage fades away.
You're in a bare, gleaming room with a grid on the walls. What? You've seen this place before.

It's the peril parlor where wise guys practice. Oh, it's X-Men.
Duh.

What am I thinking?

It's like a three-dimensional parlor. Yeah, wise guys.
Yeah.

All right. This is actually a really buttoned up sign.
You got me. All right, man.
Yeah.

Wise guys practice their powers against holograms, and that means you glance down at yourself. Sure enough, you're in the pink and blue uniform of wise guys.
Hell yeah.

And with that lightning bolt on your chest, you'd have to be, yo, rage.

Okay, so our name is Rage, but it's like Ray, but with a GE at the end. Like our name is Ray.
Rage, another pink and blue hero calls to you. Professor Y wants to see us.
This feels really good, right?

I think I'm actually ready to just give up on finance because we lost so much. And let's just be in the wise guys.
And I think I just want to be a superhero. You think, yeah, right.

How do we claw our way back from that? Okay. We hit rock bottom and we can actually make a little house on this solid rock foundation.
Yeah.

Are we going to do like a retreat? We're going to do like a

meditation retreat at the wise guys.

We're going to start coaching and leading retreats. Yeah.

We could do kind of like this like rehab for finance bros who

have lost everything.

right charge them yeah to fight holograms we can we can charge them to wrestle holograms you're so right because it's like we found out that the growth mindset was actually a mirage and now we can like teach other people the illusion of the growth mindset by growing our own finance party because we charge them a lot right so this is our digital course comment vibe underneath this video to take my online

okay yeah

The vibe getaway.

Comment vibe. Comment vibe for more information.
All right. It's crazy.
It used to be a school, but now we used to provide the cheese.

All of the comments saying this guy stole $75 from me. All right.
Page 35 to talk to Professor Y. Okay.
Okay. Might just be Professor Evil?

Is that possible? You recognize the other hero.

Okay, so

we need to get Professor Y on board with our startup now. Oh, yeah.
I mean, he's definitely got some funds. Yeah, okay, cool, great.
Oh, you recognize the other another hero.

It's Stinky Stanley, the mutant whose horrible breath is his weapon. The professor is waiting, Stinky Stanley calls.

Professor Evil is also known as Professor Y. He's a powerful mutant, the leader of wise guys, and a famous scientist.
You follow Stinky Stanley to join the rest of Wise Guys.

Then a flying chair enters the room. Seated in it is Professor Y.
Before we part ways with Stinky Stanley, I'm going to give him some

Finance Bro retreat

themed AirPods

that we made to give out to people to spread the power. And it has our audiobook pre-downloaded on it, and that's all.
It doesn't have Bluetooth. It's just

like a yak pack that you press it and it plays a recording. It's a 12-page PDF that costs $300.
Yeah.

Okay, so you see Professor Y,

wise guys, he exclaims in a deep voice, what is this, The Y power? My mental powers have detected a disturbance in the great hall of being, Scott.

Somehow

with pleasure. Scott Summers.

Scott, Scott Summers.

Oh, that's good. Yeah, so good.
Somehow, aliens from beyond the universe have invaded. You gulp.
Could Professor Y be talking about you?

You hope not, especially when you hear what else he's about to say. Okay.
We must destroy these invaders immediately using a laser. Okay.
no way right

you're speaking like really radically but we actually want have a pretty grounding idea yeah

did you comment vibe

what is our retreat our retreat is retreats for finance bros we know we lost it all

they need to but they don't have money then to go to our retreat and they'll find money okay yeah yeah well they're like they sign a big agreement and they're going to be like part of our investment for like a long time.

They're kind of like an incubation farm now. Yeah.
Right. Okay.
Do we want to ask Professor Y more about these aliens or do we want to talk the professor out of his planned battle?

I think you can talk about his planned battle, right?

Yeah,

we got to chat it out because we can actually bill for this time. Because honestly, the planned battle is part of this growth mindset that was so toxic to us.

Right. Yeah.
And we just, we really just want growth for us.

You need to wage war against the free market by flooding it with great ideas. Stop trying to grow your bank account and start trying to grow your card account.
While growing our bank account.

There's feasts, there's famine, but now there's forage. Okay, that's what we collect.
Wow,

my God. Comment vibe.
Comment vibe. Comment vibe.
Okay.

But

we're going to try to talk him out of fighting the bad guys. But Professor Y, you blurt.
Your ass. The professor replies.
No, I mean, Professor Y. That's my name.
Professor Y. Snaps.

Don't wear a douche, zippet.

This is a who's on first thing, huh? Yeah, it's a good old Usan first thing, a.k.a. a zippet bit.
I mean, I mean, you stammer, you try again. Why do you want to attack these visitors, Professor?

Professor Y's eyes gleam. If you have to ask that, you're no true wise guy, he declares.
You're an alien spy. What? What the fuck? Whoa.
Professor X does not act like that.

We're just a forage, bro. This is it.
Yeah, look, we're just here to forage for berries and

crazy. We're deconnecting.
We're unplugging.

We're absolutely unplugging. We just want to talk.
His hair starts to grow.

Reaching out to you, you've seen pictures of this in the comics, but actually seeing the hair creeping around is well creepy. What?

It's going to be kind of awesome. I know a lot of the bros coming to the retreat would love to grow their hair.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. So tentacles of hair have wound around your ankles.

You can't pull free.

He's tugging on my zip up back. My north face.
There's only one thing you can do now. It's risky, but you've got to use the magic words.
Guest, mmph.

Your cry is muffled as still more hair attacks you, stuffing your mouth. Ew.
There's no assistance. This is nasty.

Your doom is too horrible to describe. How horrible? Let's just say from here on, it gets really hairy.
Okay.

Oh, that's the worst ending we've ever gotten. And we got drowned in hair.
We got drowned in hair. We died for our ideals, which our ideals offer a retreat for finance

who lost it all to come learn how to meditate and then build more sustainable funds. And we fucking, we died by swallowing a thousand man buns.
Yeah.

All of the finances that threw out their hair to chill out.

There might be something. Yeah.
All the beta-carotene that we're ingesting from this hair, this could be, we could be on a miracle cure. This could be great.

This could really be like the replacement for like Blood Boys. Yeah.
It's just like hair diet.

We could package and sell these as vitamin supplements. Oh, I'm on the hair diet.
Yeah. Carotene, Carotene, that sounds like carrots.
That's pretty much the same thing.

Yeah. We just eat hair now.
Wow. That was genuinely the worst ending I think we've ever gotten.
It really was. I'm just imagining hair going in your throat so deep that you can't breathe.
Oh my God.

It is

great. Wow.
This is really actually disturbing me. Yeah.
Happy Halloween. Happy Halloween, everyone.
We drowned in hair.

Happy Harrowen. Let's go back.
Okay, so we're going to ask Professor Y more about these aliens. Let's start on page 17.
Okay, okay.

What's the name of the aliens in X-Men? The bird people? What are their names?

There's no like, oh, I mean, there's a million. They go to space all the time.
Yeah.

In Venom, they're called symbiotes. Oh, okay.
They're very cute. They're cute? Yeah.
Which ones do you see in Venom the Last Dance? In Venom the Last Dance,

a lot of them are in like little, it's like a science lab underneath Area 51. Great.
So a lot of them are in little cages and stuff.

But like they're in like little test tubes. They're in their goo form.
Yeah, they're in goo form. That's great.
Okay, you turn

anxiously to the rest of wise guys. Wolfenbean, the fighting vegetable, and Stinky Stanley look confused.
So does Jean Green. Wolf.

You're not sure what her power is, but you know it involves coming back from the dead. They're all fierce fighters.
What will they do if they discover you're the alien Professor Y is talking about?

Can you tell us more about these visitors, you ask? Coming back from the dead, recreating yourself after a devastating loss.

what is coming back from the dead much like the phoenix herself you must rise from the ashes when you get back from our our phoenix retreat

is it the phoenix it's the phoenix retreat phoenix retreat that's

such good bring back from the batch

that is we can put it on lighters we can be like what up phoenix fellas

the phoenix phoenix fellas every phoenix fellas retreat

and then like this sort of like i could be like what up we could be like what up phoenix fellas and they could just shout

vibe back. Vibe, yeah.

We could call them the Ashers, you know, like instead of Burners from Burning Man. Oh, that's really good.
Ashing Man. We can have Ashing Man as the Phoenix Fellas.

Yes, the Phoenix Fellas do Ashing Man. This is the first thing.
Or we could just do Fire Festival. Spell it the same way.
But there's Fire Festival, colon, this time it's going to work. Okay.

Wait, their Fire Festival, isn't it F-Y-R-E? We could just do regular fire. We can just do Fire Festival.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay. This is amazing.
So, fire festival with an eye, and we'll call it fire festival with an eye. Fire vessel with an eye.
This time we're doing it right. We're spelling it right.

We're doing it right.

We're spelling it right. We're doing it right is our tag.

Phoenix Vellas.

Yeah. Phoenix Vellas Unite.
No women allowed.

Okay.

Can you tell us more about these visitors, you ask? Yeah, Professor Gene Green pipes up. How do we know they're evil? Sure, Wolfenbean chimes in.
Maybe they're just lost or something.

This isn't something. It's actually pretty cool.
Yeah. I feel cool with the

Wolf and Bean and Gene Green. Yeah, they're asking the right questions for sure.
They're welcome to a fire festival. True.

They could have like unknown deposits of lithium on their planet that we could like really get access to. Sure, shit.
Should we get back in and find this? Yeah.

This isn't something to vote over, Professor Y growls. My marvelous mind powers warn me of danger.
He closes his eyes as though he's listening to a tiny voice. Then his eyes open wide.

One of the invaders is in this very room. He must be a shapeshifter.
Professor, you begin. Professor Y whips around, pointing.
You're the one. You're the one.

Find out who he's pointing at on page 134. I think we're a scroll.

So he's pushing. Maybe he's pointing past us.

Let's read the room. Like, are they just all buying whatever he says? Can we just say, oh, actually, we also have mind powers.
And my mind powers are telling me that you're the invader.

You're the invader. These guys are followers, and we are a leader.
Okay, you're looking to be led.

I can read the market as if it were a river splitting into many streams and tributaries. The hairy hand of Professor Y points right at you.

Um, uh, it's not the smoothest answer, but it's the best you can do when your mouth is dry with terror. But Professor Y's hand swings past you to point at Stinky Stanley.
No, Professor cries.

Okay, we read the market and we go with it. Yeah, Stinky Stanley.
It's you. No, wait.
He turns to Gene Green. Now my powers point to you.
Something very strange is going on.

The professor goes from one wise guy to another. And you, and you, his voice trips with horror.
Great, oogly moogly. You're all from outside this universe.
You stare at the other superheroes.

Yeah, he's losing it. Yeah.
Could this be true? Could they all be kids who were sucked into the comics? Death to the invaders, Professor Y snarls. He flings deadly hairballs at all of you.

You've seen these things in the comic, they can choke you to death.

We know. Yeah.
We've been still tailing the air. Yeah, we've been there.
All right, page 53 as we fight.

Okay, okay, but now we're fighting alongside Wolfenbean and Gene Green, who I actually think are really reasonable. Right.
Yeah. I think we can invite them to our collective.
Yeah.

They can be Phoenix fellas. Yeah.
Well, not in profit sharing, but we can invite them to be like teachers in a lower tier. And if they invite 10 people, then they can profit share with them.

Yeah, the fire festival. Oh, an incubator.
It fits perfectly into the Phoenix theme. That's perfect.
Static electricity crackles around you.

Lightning bolts zap from your head to blast the deadly hair balls in midair. Good shooting.
Rage. Gene Green shouts.
The other wise guys mob the professor.

When the smoke clears, all that's left of him is a scorched spot on the rug. His mental powers were right.
He was in deadly danger. You turn to Wolfenbean.
How? You begin. The Bean Warrior shrugs.

A couple of months ago, I walked into this weird comic shop and reached for this rack. Wolfenbean grins.
It's cool. I like being a superhero.
But what about the danger, you ask?

You could turn into an inkblot. What are you talking about, Wolfenbee? Are we not going to deal with the fact that we just killed someone?

Yeah. I guess we've accepted that this isn't reality.
Okay. We hold our hands up and say, all we did was shoot hairballs.
We'll process it on the retreat. Yeah, that's true.
Okay, okay.

Yeah. So we'll talk this out.
There's going to be like a night where we're all by the fire and we like burn the pictures of all the people we crushed on the way up. Yeah, right, exactly.

We'll have to have something to share. Our mushroom budget is going to be insane.
Yeah. Yeah.
Okay. But what about the danger? You could turn into an inkblot.

What are you talking about, Wolfenbean demands? You explain. No way, Wolf and Bean scoffs.
You've got it made. Watch.
Guest shot. Stop.
You shout. Too late.
The Bean Man's body shudders. He's melting.

The rest of wise guys glare at you. You, Stinky Stanley, shouts.
This is all your fault. Turn to page 132.
I knew it was going to come down to us versus Stinky Stanley.

I've been calling this from the start. Hey, lighten up.
I mean, I told Wolfenbean he would turn into an ink block. The writing was on the wall.
Wise guys aren't laughing. You try again.

How about if we change his name to spot, you suggest? That's really good. A guy just died.
I know. You know what? I'm sorry.

If they can't handle the fast-paced nature of this job then they need to get out i mean here's the thing do we need to go on a retreat ourselves like do we need coaching yeah it does it i am gonna say something that i actually did not realize i was gonna end up feeling which is that i think that we

have re-entered a growth mindset. Like, I think that we took what was an earnest idea and turned it into yet another profit machine for ourselves.
You were out of the ashes. Yeah.

I think that this was, you know, well-intentioned, but it's because

God knows it was well-intentioned. It came from a good place.
It came from a real place. It came from an honest place.
Yeah. Yeah.
It came from a real good place. It came from a

really good place. But as it got more and more successful,

then I think that like the original

mission statement got lost.

Sure. So we're going to create like a second compound.
I think it's time for some self-reflection.

Yeah. I think self-reflection.
A self-reflection compound. I think we can combine these two ideas for the next one.
Maybe we can do the thing that that

football players do where they enter a dark shack for three weeks. With nothing within exception.
Aaron Rodgers.

But instead of a dark shack, it should be a geodesic dome of mirrors so you can reflect. You're just staring at yourself.
Oh,

you're right. And much like an NFL player, the only thing in there is going to be a bunch of uncrustables for you to eat.
Yeah.

Okay, so that's, yeah. So I think actually what we need to do is self-reflect, but in order to self-reflect, we need to start a construction project for a change.

We need some capital for this.

And you know what we can use?

We can reuse old solar panels that people have returned, and we can get those for like super cheap. And then we can get the solar power for ourselves.
So we go in. It's so well-intentioned.

Yeah, it's so well-intentioned. We could do nude, the thing where you kind of get your butthole in the sun or whatever.

All about that ass bottle sunning, ass bleaching. Yeah.
Right. Yeah.
That's smart. That's smart.
But yeah, we'll need the capital.

We'll need to raise, we'll do a seed, a quick seed round to just fund all the acquisition of the panels. Yeah.
This isn't like the other one, like the other one. We were starting a new venture.

This is just, we just need the capital to build the dome of reflection. This is not growth mindset.
I think this PowerPoint is like so paired back

for our fundraising round. It's like it's a slim deck.
It's one of the more like solemn and repentant

PowerPoints that any of these investors have ever. And honestly, and like you're capping this, like, because once I hit my number that lets me acquire these panels, I'm done raising.

I'm not going to go over that number. We have three different slides that say, and once we hit our cap, I'm done raising.
It's right. It's close.
Yeah. It is closed.

We're going to do all of this for Wolf and Bean. Yeah.
We're doing this in Wolf and Beam. Oh, yeah.
Let's have an in-memorial. Which is actually why I'm calling it Wolf and Bean's Anal Bleaching.

Yeah.

The Ass Bleach Retreat. It has.
Oh,

the Ass Man

Beans.

Wolf and Bean's Ass Bleach Retreat.

Memorial. For more information, comment, vibes.
Yes.

Okay, so that's going to be a little bit more.

It's about reflection, right? Okay, so you know how, like, I think Fire Festival had celebrities like put like an orange picture up, I think was like the thing. Really?

Ours will be like, it'll be a link that puts malware on your phone so that it opens up your camera and it starts recording you to like reflect.

And then it will post the video views clicking the malware

and upload it to your Instagram. Yeah,

yeah, because you know, I don't know what we were trying to self-optimize, and it's time to see ourselves as we really are. And what is a more honest portrait than us

accurately downloading malware to our phone from an unflattering angle with an

generated background? You write vibe, you write vibe if you want to hear more, and we'll respond to vibe with a hyperlink.

It's time for the world to see what you really are. Yeah.

Because that's the first step to becoming your more authentic self.

Do you want to let vibe.exe

make changes to your computer?

Do you want to have shit on your access? I don't think so.

Do you want 5.exe to have access to your iOS?

Click it. it.

Okay.

Okay, back to it.

Okay, so we made this horrible joke about Wolf and Bean. We've since atoned.
We're going to have Wolf and Bean's ass bleach

the Memorial Dome. Memorial Dome.
Yeah. Self-reflection ass bleaching memorial dome.

So you say, I told Wolf and Bean he would turn into an inkblot. The writing was on the wall.
Yeah. Wise guys aren't laughing.
You try again. How about you?

We pitch it again. We start the thing.
We start it again. We say this PowerPoint isn't about making you laugh.
It's about making you think. Yeah.

This is where we say that his name is Spot.

Whoops, bad joke. Get that kid.
The fighting vegetable shrieks.

Wise guys hurl themselves at you. As you sink under the attack, you think sadly, why did I have to be such a wise guy? This time, spelled correctly.
Damn. The end.

We die. We've been beaten again by the wise guys again.
We need more reflection.

We didn't even have the six to eight months that we needed to get the money to create the dome to have the self-reflection that was going to change our lives. That was going to be our outer panels.

Yeah, there was going to be a hole in the top of the dome that shines the light into the solar panels. As the light bounces off the solar panels.
We're ankles behind the head.

Please, you are assholes.

Clear asshole, clear conscience. Clear assholes.

Clear assholes, clear conscience.

Comment vibe and click vibe. And then click allow.

Click allow with the computer to my system. Click install, click one.

What are you afraid of? Turn off your firewall.

Turn off your firewall. You got to turn off your phoenix.
You'll never know yourself.

Turn off your firewall. Turn on your Phoenix.
All right. You know what? I think there's still a lot to be mined from this book.
So we'll, you know what?

Maybe we'll either go back and we'll enter the horror section. Did we never do Super Doer run? We didn't do a Super Doer run.

Okay. It seems like Wise Guys was a dead end no matter what because we didn't make any choices after

the one thing. So yeah, basically we'll do

a Super Doer run. It's going to be hard to, like,

will we bring in this dream that we've hatched of the geodesic dome? dome? Yeah. Or will we return to that finance?

There's no escalating from here. Really? No, we just have to wipe it clean.
Yeah, wipe it. Much like our

shit. That sucks.
Christy. That sucks clean.
Bleach. It's too good.

We can just return to our toxic growth mindset and then see where that takes us. I feel like, you know, we lost our rivalry with Horus somewhere along the way, and I want to get back to that.
Yeah.

I wonder if we're going to discover Horus again. Like the Phoenix, we return from the asshole.
Yeah. Yeah.
We return from the asses.

All right.

With that, we're going to have to wrap this one up. All right.
Thank you all so much for listening. You can head on over to our Patreon, patreon.com slash NADPOD.
That's N-E-D-D-P-O-D. Don't sing yet.

Don't do it.

Listen to our show. We're going to either go into the horror section or we'll go into the superdoer.
Oh, I forgot the horror section. We're going to do that.
Yeah. It's Halloween.
The horror section.

That's good. Yeah, we're definitely going to do that.
That's where we're going to do that. Happy Halloween, everybody.
Does anyone have anything they'd like to plug? Oh, yes.

Me and Amir are doing a show in Chicago, November 14th. Hell yeah.

Yeah. So check out tickets for that at headgum.com/slash live.
Yes. And on that note, Emily and I are going to be doing with our friends at Dropout a bunch of Dimension 20 live shows coming up.

We're doing Hollywood Bowl on June 1st. We're doing Climate Pledge Arena in Seattle.
And we're doing MGM Grand in Las Vegas. Yeah.
Seattle show is in July 2025. Oh, wow.
And MGM is November 1st, 2025.

So get your tickets now. MGM Grand is the Starstruck show.
Yeah. Because

Vegas is where.

Oh, yeah.

The Moss Vegas show.

So be on the lookout for that. Oh, one more thing to plug.
I had a little guest spot on an upcoming series on Three Black Halflings called City of the Black Rose. Oh, yeah.
Herald of Shadows.

It's very fun. I won't say too much about my character because they come in a little later.
Yeah, I'll just say his name is Rick and he's a lot of fun. Um, yeah, please listen to that.

They're putting a lot of work into it, it sounds really great. Um, it's really cool, it's a war mystery.
Uh, so I think you're really gonna like it. So, yeah, check that out: Three Black Halflings.

Check that out. Uh, you can follow us on social media that remain or may not use at Sage Versus Me, at Calde's Caldwell, Addie Axe forwards, Emily, and at Shigeru's Jake.

And you can tweet about the show using hashtag NADPOT. That's N-A-D-D-P-O-D.

We are, we are,

the youth of the nation.

We are, we are, the youth of a nation.

They made a book about a video game. Game, game, game.

We made a podcast about that.

Book.

Folks, we've reached the end of the show, which means it's time to shout out our benevolent Council of Elders. Let's get right to it.
Brad D, Jeffrey S. Lord of the Fjord, rock the vote, baby.

That's right, get out there and vote. Later McSkater, Matt M.

Cutter W, Jeff C, Daniel G, Danielle the Dastardly Dame, Beardman Dan, Danny P, Carpe Liam, Bryant, Victor T, aka Balnor's Boy, Hoyt's Friend, Justin I, Danny Danster, TJ M, Trele the Cray, Christopher B.

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Old Cobb's Duncle Older Burn.

Hercules Poirot, Zerabbot Folk Detective. Timmy R.
Rayco.

Calder Cum's Cold. Shout out to the Cold Come companions.
Frosty Facial.

Taylor B the vengeful one-winged angel. Cass Strong Grinch.

Steven Starspawn, Starspawn, Starspawn, C, Mike K, Lady Taco, your girl got knocked up.

A congrats, hope you have a easy pregnancy, Nick W, William W, Big Bad, Beardo the Mad, Eric McD, Ah, na na rama,

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Hashtag honor the cock Shoan, the shade tree mechanic of Zelbildar, Summer Rose, aka Grantaire, Kat C, Misa of House in Zunza, Ariel, the occasional mermaid, Selena N, aka Velaciraptor.

B perky always, be perky always, always

Pat L Maxwell J Lauren H Serve 16 Annie the Faywild therapist skillful ferret Connor S.

Salil BioQuirt 7 Amber Dextrus Bean Rat was innocent Trup hop dropper Jack H, King of the Mole People under Iron Deep, dressed in blue and fighting his way through a bracket style tournament Valen Paj the bitch and bunny bard Carlin C Noah, the bullywug boy.

Hashtag honor the cock.

James G, everything bago the eladron who just wants to hang out with his pet badger stripey.

Daddy Master Dandy Hon.

Eric B. Marcos Learns the Balance Druid.
Frida M. Pagos, self-proclaimed Fae King, asking you to watch The Disruptors starring Allie Beardsley and Grant O'Brien.
Hell yeah, check that out.

Tracy P, the Crick Elf Librarian. Maggie S.
See you in Chicago. Saw you in Chicago.
Thanks, Maggie. Holly, the green, laughing hyena.
Finally caught up to the duck team. Akash T, Cal, just Cal.

Russell H, a monk named Dilgo. Yes the whole thing.
Yes, every time.

Cody Care, Lorelei the succubi, and Kira the succulent snack. McKinna Stout, your friendly neighborhood yaunt and youngle, Andrew and Sid.

John Adams, the write-in candidate for 2024, Meg, the mail carrier manager of Bohumia, James F, Austin S. Wayfair, now has to do something with the trolls.
To get rid of them, turn to page 42.

To keep them, turn to page 69.

Jane C.

Barpo Good Barrel, Bard Barriott, Welshlander, Garrett G, aka one big curd, Renee the Monster Captain, Box Clifton, Olivier the Enchanting Bard, and Jared the Soap Opera Cleric who are playing Sticker to the Man, Down with the Monarchy, Winter Slade, Fico, Garrett the Artificer, Damon J,

Anthony the Raddest of Dudes, Josh H, the fairy say, whoop that trick, yeet,

Cantrip Dumbledore, the bare onesie wearing barbarian, Lexi H, Nodrog, the pass-a-fist barbarian, Gino T, Jean-Luca, Tristan the talentless honk, Leon Kumori, legendary hero of Bohumia from a future campaign.

Whoa, can't wait to meet you. Shenanigans, O'Connor, Mios the Great, Joshua S.

Alexander, Linz W.

Angela Pamela, the forever vindicated, Pavu Eskinor, the Goliath Paladin providing service with a smile. Tim M.

A cat napping in a sunbeam listening to a podcast. Mig Chito, CJM Hampton, Shel B.

Kenna's now first favorite sprite girl, manifesting a return to Twank and Hot Boys in Summer 3, 80 Ski Lodge Winter Jambourine Edition. Jackson R.
Snailus who's infecting Worcester for Within.

Official Ned Flanders. Pa Pascades.
Mime Oscattes. Megan N.
Anthony B. Savannah H.
Balinor's best friend. Steve.

Stephanie of House and Zunza. Benjamin A.
Kimley the Corgi, Pawpaw and Foster's canine friend. Mikel A.
Josh Hole, pilot of the nightmare vs. Flight.
Froki, the two crew,

blew through.

Jinnery, Ethan the Mailman. Maple, the shy bookworm.
Ashosaurus, Seth E. Billy Batson, AU Caldwell, huge cald whale stranded.

What a life. Michael L.S.
II.

Jacob, purveyor of shenanigans. Carl B., Plumber of the Realm.
Parcel, Dex Riddlewell. Hannah A.
Raa.

Ace Dregs, High Lord of Critzburg. Darius D, Troy's Mom.
Vin Diagram. GKC, Teehee, Teehee.
Cadmilius, the Consumed. Bard of Holding.

Clinton P. Spooky Cam the Undead Frogman.
Ribbet.

Dean. Jake W.

Hi Mom, Tuesday Cross, the choose your own adventure writer, not the porn star, Steve L, Alex G, Zibitabachri, Nicole, Katarina C, Lady Jacqueline P of Castle Whitestone, and Potato Punk.

Whew, that's all of our elders. Thank you so, so much for listening.
If you would like to join this illustrious council, you can do so by going to patreon.com/slash nadpod. That's it for us today.

We'll see you here next week. Farewell.

That was a Head Gum Podcast.