C03 - Ep. 15 - Brig of Endridge Bay - Old Faces, New Faces, Dead Faces

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It's been a while, you intellect devourers.

Claw your way to the stinky dragon and partake in our latest potation.

Drain on your parade.

It's a mixture of teleport tea leaves, a squeeze of cranial juices, fresh slices of gray matter, and topped with mindless molasses.

One brain backwash of this whistle wetter and you'll see the lights are on, but no one's home.

Previously, our adventurers fell into a fenced-off fight of fearsome pirates.

While fending off this frenzy of foes, they familiarized themselves with three local factions.

Council of Conservation, Troop Troop, and the Rabble.

But once the feud finished, Toll faces a formidable formidable figure from his foggy past, ironclad.

Pour yourself a potation and let's proceed with this pungent pot boiler.

Hello, everyone.

Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

I'm your stinky dungeon master, Gustavo Sorola, and I'm gonna hit R4 players with an arrow.

No!

Why do you sound like you're so happy to do it every single time?

I just don't know.

Pew, pew, pew, pew.

I'm so happy about that.

I don't know.

I'm a happy guy, John.

You know me.

I'm just like happy, go, lucky.

The sun's always shining.

You're stereotypically happy guy.

Yeah, that's my deal.

This week's arrow question is, for which Olympic event would your character be a contender for gold and why?

And that's submitted by Crazy Mage524.

Roll for initiative.

Make that initiative roll.

I just wanted to say that for the first time.

Yeah.

I was not shocked by it this week.

I kind of remembered that we did did that.

I feel like every week I'm like, oh yeah, we do that.

One.

Oh, 13, 7, 11.

So I got a 13, 11, 7, 1 is the order.

So that means 12.

Step on up.

I believe you're first.

What an odd group.

What?

Barb.

What an odd group.

No, that's good.

That's good.

We're all odd numbers.

Odd numbers.

I got a math joke before Gus did.

Let the red show.

It's good.

Quiet down, nerds.

Hello, it's me, Blaine.

And I am playing Tolv.

Sorry, I'm not in my prime.

Hey.

That's bad.

Should I leave?

Sorry, Tolv.

We're talking about...

Do you...

Side arrow, mini arrow, crossbow bolt for you, Tolv.

Do you like math?

Oh, you know, I will partake in a little bit of pie from time to time.

Oh.

Okay, I'm sorry, Tolv.

I don't mean to interrupt you.

Let's dig into that arrow question.

No, it's okay.

We're talking about mathletes.

Now let's talk about athletes.

Yes,

my name is Tolv.

I am a male orc barbarian level five.

That's a new development.

Oh,

oh, the Olympics.

I love the Olympics.

I could participate in so many things, you know, shotpooting and rowing and like archery, maybe.

I don't know, but my biggest one would be power walking.

Oh,

yeah, there's like something about, you know, walking on a ship that's out in the ocean, out in the sea when the water is raging.

You get a really good gait and you will make sure that you always have one foot down and it's i'm incredible on land i can power walk for days interesting so would you just like do laps around the ship how does that work you know you got to stay active you got to keep moving keep grooving you know and you're not murdering people you got to do something to keep you busy yeah is that an olympic sport i wasn't aware that power walking was an olympic sport i think it is Well, it was, and then unfortunately they took it away.

I thought I remembered seeing it in tokyo or someplace i think i thought they had it at the tokyo olympics i could be wrong race walking first appeared in the olympics in 1904 and then in 1912 and 1930.

could have worked shopped a different name than that 20 kilometer racewalk for women was introduced in 1992 but still going wait they they still did it in 2024 in paris yeah 50 kilometer racewalk well look at that 50 kilometer 5-0

yeah wow that's not bad i could do that

hey plane here hey i could work work here.

I could do that.

Hey, Tolv.

I was going to ask you a follow-up question.

That's more than a marathon.

Sorry.

I just looked that up.

It's like 30 miles.

It's a lot.

You're just walking it.

You can go pretty far when you're just walking.

Tov, do you know my friend Chip Haney?

Have you ever encountered someone named Chip Haney in your travels?

Oh, he sounds like a pleasant fellow.

Why do you ask?

I think he might have also been into power walking.

It seems like something that was up his alley.

I thought maybe you encountered him like at a race or something.

Perhaps I would take silver and Chip would take gold.

All right.

Well, thanks, Tolf.

I think that's a good one.

I enjoy a good power walk.

Y'all.

I believe next up was Natty with an 11, if I'm remembering properly.

Something extra fun about Blaine wearing an orange beanie and saying silver and gold.

Yukon Cornelius!

Woo-hoo!

I was going to build a Yukon Cornelius character.

Yukon Cornelius rules.

Oh, that'd be great.

What is the reference?

Yukon Cornelius?

You know those terrifying claymation figure?

Stop saying terrifying.

That's just you projecting.

That's from Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer.

Oh, gotcha.

Woo-hoo.

He sings a terrible song about silver and gold.

Terrifying.

Terrible.

Awful.

So terrible.

You remember him this many years later.

Hi, I'm John Reisinger, and I play Natty Wonder, who is a Drow Warlock.

And the Olympics.

If I was to be in the Olympics and get a gold medal, you you know, I actually don't know much about this sport, but I think I would love to compete in figure skating.

Oh, mostly because I just love how all the moves sound.

They got such cute little names like Lutz and Axel and Bunny Hops and all that.

It's just, I don't know how to do any of them, but it'd just be so fun to hear someone say, oh, look, Natty did a triple Lutz.

That just sounds cool, doesn't it?

There goes Natty doing a death spiral.

It's her favorite move.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And they're just so graceful, and you love the costumes.

And there are sequins everywhere.

A lot of limestones.

Yes.

It almost sounded like you said there are a lot of limestones, Doug.

I was confused for a brief second.

Yeah, so many limestones in bigo skating.

Just below the ice.

Can't really dig into it.

Like a basement.

So.

That's my answer.

Okay.

Just quick follow-up.

Do you have much experience with ice?

Not at all.

Not at all.

Not a a lick.

But it just seems fun.

Okay.

How hard can it be?

It's probably easy.

Yeah.

Okay.

Thanks, Daddy.

And then I believe with a seven, was it Gunther?

One.

Okay, Doug, you have the seven.

Doug's next.

Yes, seven is greater than one.

Hello, everyone.

I'm Doug Boone, the Bug Bale Artificial, voiced by Barbara Dunkelman.

And

Doug thought long and hard on this one because there's so many sports to choose from.

So many of which doug would be absolutely terrible at

uh but i think the one that doug could compete in is cooling oh cooling

curling

like where you slide the the big old puck on the ice and people have the blooms and they go hoey hooey

that's that's the game my grandma would play on her her cruise that she'd go on oh you're thinking of shuffleboard oh shuffleboard that's that's that's like mini curling exactly Very similar mechanics, actually.

Yeah.

Just make sure you're not curling while Natty's out there on the ice, Doug.

That might be disastrous.

Doug will be curling while Natty is curling her hair.

Hey.

Why would you be good at curling anyways?

I was just, you know, I feel like Doug has like a gentle touch when it comes to like calculating the exact motion for something.

That does make sense.

Also, Doug's really good at math, and so he knows like what number will beat another number and all that stuff.

You handy with the broom?

Yeah, actually I am.

I did a lot of cleaning back in my day.

I was going to say if you need an assist, you know, I used to scrub the poop deck quite vigorously.

I could definitely be the

discover guy.

I don't think there's any monkeys there on that.

Is that the sound they make?

I've never heard them mic'd up.

So that's what I would imagine.

This is an audio podcast, John.

I have to, you know, do music noises.

That was a legitimate question that I just like, I've never heard how they sound.

Like, is that because like it just looks like one of the most absurd things they're doing.

And so that sounds like of a track with like, oh yeah, if you breathe this way, it actually helps you keep going.

I don't know.

I'm not a curler.

Well, Micah comments that Toll might be more used to bicep curling.

So I was going to be clear.

It's noise.

Powerlifting.

Yeah.

Yeah.

How many curls?

So the same follow-up question for you, Doug.

Do you have much experience with ice?

No, not really.

But,

you know, I got like sharp toenails, so I feel like I could dig in real good if I need need to, stabilize myself.

The pho, though, that would be problematic.

Well, it could keep you warm.

I don't know.

I've seen a lot of videos of golden retrievers on ice rinks, and they seem pretty happy.

That would be like me.

Yeah.

Frolicking.

Sorry, Barb, mini dart arrow, side arrow.

Did you ever figure skate or ice skate when you lived in Canada?

Did you really?

Not figure skating.

I did, I did do ice skating, yes.

It's required of all children in Canada.

Yeah.

That sounds awesome.

A photo of me that I could try to find.

I think I'm like maybe six or seven years old and I'm on the ice.

Like my parents are taking pictures of me.

I think it was like one of my first skating lessons and I'm wearing a goalie helmet.

Like it's like one of those things with the like full face smash cages in front of my face.

Yeah, just in case, which I think a lot of kids did wear when they went skating because they didn't want to fall on their face.

I think that we should.

I don't want to cut you off, Barbara, but I think we should talk about that more in the second wind for this episode.

Oh, yes, we should.

Maybe we could provide the the photo in the second wind episode.

Yeah, which is available for people who support us at stinkydragonpod.com or if you listen over at Beacon, you should be able to get that episode.

So check it out and you get some more content.

I have a prediction for Gunther's.

I don't want to say I don't want to take her glory.

Why don't you write it down in a note?

Okay.

Well, we'll pause for a second while Blaine slash Toll writes on a piece of paper to hold it up to the camera.

And then we'll get to Gunther, who rolled a one today.

Hopefully that's the extent of your bad rolls, Gunther.

Hopefully you get that out of your system.

Why don't you start introducing yourself?

Okay, got it.

Hi, I'm Chris Demaris and I play Gunther the male Croat folk level five fighter and I think there are lots of lots of sports that I have heard of.

You might think that I might be good at the high jump or long jump, but I do not think I would win the gold because my friend Bunlap, he is much better at jumping.

He always beat me in jumping.

I thought you killed Bunlap.

Was that am I imagining this?

No, he is my bestest friend.

Oh.

And you might also think that I would take the golden fencing.

But maybe not.

I don't know yet.

Okay.

Would Bunlap?

Bunlap, he is a very good fighter, too, so maybe he would win that.

So

I would like to win the golden crickets because I think they are delicious.

That's good.

That's good.

That's a good one.

That's a really good one.

I did a long jump.

I don't think you can read the other one on this podcast.

You wrote a naughty word.

That was for you guys.

That's not an Olympic sport.

I don't think.

Maybe by the next time.

Though Blaine has been training for it.

Find out what Blaine said in second wave.

So, Gunther, do you imagine that cricket is just like who can eat the cricket?

Okay, okay.

I think we can probably arrange, we'll try to arrange for you to be able to try that out at some point in this campaign.

I can't wait to play this game.

All right.

I learned a bit.

I think I also learned that cricket's an Olympic sport.

I may not have realized that.

It's got to be.

Yeah, I imagine it is.

Okay.

Thanks, everyone, for participating in the arrow.

If power walking is an Olympic sport, cricket has to be.

Gus, what would your Olympic sport be?

If you could excel at one thing or

you take your innate abilities, what would it be?

What would it be?

Yeah.

What's the Olympic sport you can do when you're the oldest?

I was like, whoa, whoa.

What's it called?

The gun one?

I'd be like that old guy from Turkey who just shows up like disheveled with the gun and just like no equipment.

It looks like he walked it off the street was that the winter olympics that was summer i was in paris i think okay okay yeah not not the biathlon no because he got a skeet for that one too no just like show up off the street with a gun shoot a target and then walk out i mean you're you're from texas i'm from texas ready to go

as um you know you all are making your way to the staircase you know gunther's chatting with this pirate and and shaking hands told in the corner of your eye something hooks your attention like a fish to the lure a shadowy silhouette looms just past the heads of the exiting crowd.

The menacing figures wearing a minotaur-horned helmet, wielding a mace spiked with scores of shark teeth.

I know this guy.

You turn to face the figure and lock eyes with none other than Captain Jarl Ironclad.

Ironclad!

I know that Warhammer.

Is that you, Tolv?

Almost didn't recognize you.

Getting a little sling plate there, I'm sorry.

What are you wearing?

I've heard whispers on the wind.

They say there are impostors among us.

A dangerous thing, deceit.

You wouldn't know anything about that, would you, Tov?

What'd you do, Talv?

This is like the worst day ever, you know?

This is ironclad.

Everyone say boo,

cuz he's like the worst.

What are you even doing here?

I left you.

In fact, you left me.

He's looking around.

It seems like almost he's he's only half listening as he's scanning around, looking around the room, then his head turns back to you.

Well, if you're here, perhaps the rumors are true.

It would seem your brothers and sisters are stronger than I thought.

Perhaps my children do hold the secrets I've been searching for.

And it's almost like he realizes you're traveling with people at this moment.

He looks over the rest of B-team.

They don't even know, do they?

They're more blind than the blood bloaters.

Oh, have I said too much?

Am I getting under your skin, Tolls?

Now, if you'll excuse me, eternity awaits.

He uh tries to uh make an exit.

I want to throw a javelin.

I want to throw a javelin.

Okay.

Pull out your javelin and uh make an attack roll with disadvantage because you're in melee range.

Okay.

There's a 24 and a 16.

Your aim is true, and as you're about to thrust it into his armor, he catches the shaft of the javelin.

His grip breaks the weapon in half and splintered pieces crumble to the ground.

And he brushes past and walks off.

I know you don't like this guy, but that was pretty cool.

Yeah, no, he's it's nothing as cool about Ironclad, let me tell you that, okay?

This guy is like the worst of the worst.

So, is your dad your father?

Yes, you could say that.

Yeah.

Is that your dad?

Well, like, yes and no, you know, I mean, he was like a father figure and was like my former captain.

Did he adopt you?

No, not exactly.

So

he's like a father figure.

We could put it that way.

Yeah.

You gotta give us a straight answer to one of these questions.

It's a very name Toll Ironclad.

That's a good question.

No, it is not ironclad.

I mean, Toll Ironclad would be pretty cool.

No, it would not be cool.

Ironclad is a terrible name.

Okay.

I've got Gunther in my Toll.

So he likes to act like he's a daddy, but he's not good at it.

what what's what's what's the hold up here we should all be open books we're we're a we're a team did he kidnap you as you all are questioning told the bartender from upstairs who pulled the lever comes rushing down the the stairs and sees you all and he begins shaking gunter's hand very enthusiastically

oh i'm so sorry oh it's a huge misunderstanding Got a lot of strange folks in Endridge Bay these days.

So you did not intentionally send us down here?

I misunderstood.

I thought you were looking for the fighting pit.

No, you.

May I offer discounted drinks?

Uh, please, uh, I'd like to make it up for you.

Oh, yep, sorry.

That's right.

I'm doing the voice wrong here.

I don't know what half of that means.

I'm sorry.

I'd love to make it up to you.

In what way?

Free

lodging and food?

Discounted drinks and

meals.

And lodging?

Uh, yes, yes.

Uh, shrrrr.

yeah, we can work that out.

Like, okay, just quick question.

If someone, say, a family was to be coming by to visit, like, the local water park, you know, and then you mistakenly,

yeah, but would you have you sent like families to the fighting pits by mistake or anything?

Only if they asked.

That's that's not good for business.

But uh, here he begins uh leading you up the stairs, Gunther.

Uh, allow me.

Okay, shall we follow you yeah yeah yeah he motions for all of you to to follow upstairs you were looking for uh for fizmum correct yes for fizmum she'll be back shortly uh she's on an errand she'll be back in less than an hour here here come easy he leads you back up to the um the main floor that you walked in on sit sit if you want you can go upstairs to the dining hall uh and i can bring you whatever you want something wrong with you yeah are you like afraid of fizzmum or something i'm just very old and I speak like a magician and I don't know what that means.

I'm struggling.

Now I don't want us to get a voice actor for this character.

It has to be guys.

That's why I said.

Gus

like a magician.

Given me a million years, I could not have come up with that answer to that question.

What does that mean?

I don't know.

It means whatever Gus is doing.

But I love Gus's translation.

Sometimes you just got to go with it.

I like how you're like, wait, that's not the right voice.

And then you hear.

Because I saw it and I was, because I realized it.

Then I saw it.

I was like, well, I don't know what that means.

And to be honest, the voice changed a little bit and then turned into a scared person.

So that's why we were like, what is going on?

That's why I wanted to be upfront with you.

There's a lost in translation moment here.

Hey, do you know magic?

He begins doing that thing where he acts like he's separating his thumb from his hand.

Giggy's eyes are like saucers.

Gus started doing that in the wokey and it was pretty cool.

So Fizmum, what can you do?

Are you friends well with them?

Friends well with them?

Oh, Fizmum runs the high three.

I work for Fizmum.

Ah.

Oh, so you are afraid of Fizmum.

Oh, runs the High Three.

Is

Is she an actual mom?

Or is that just the name?

Oh, that's her name, Fizmum.

F-I-Z-Z-M-U-M.

How did she come to run the High Three?

That's an interesting story.

You know, sets up behind the bar.

But, you know, it's best told by Fizmum herself.

She'll be back soon.

You can ask her all about it.

What does she look like?

Oh, you know, she's a thod.

She's got warty cheeks, some big old broad shoulders, and she's always wearing her patchwork surcoat.

Cat miss her.

I'm sorry, I do not know.

What is a toad?

Oh, you know, a toad.

A toad?

Toad.

Toad.

You see him every now and then.

You know, not too uncommon.

My name's Toad.

Is that what you're trying to say?

Toad?

Toad.

I'm saying it wrong.

You got it in my head.

Toad, toad, toad.

Is it like a...

What's a race?

that has a th?

She looks kind of like you, Gunther, just, you know, a little bit bigger.

Like a something toad.

Okay.

How do you know Gunther's name?

We met.

Remember, he introduced himself.

Ah, okay.

They had a conversation.

Okay, so I guess we'll keep our eyes out for Fizz Mom, but in the meantime, could we like get into lodgings?

Like you mentioned, we could get free room and board.

Well, you see, we mainly have a bar and a dining hall here.

I guess we could try to work something out for lodging, but uh, yeah, yeah, we can we can work it out.

Why don't you get some food and drink for now?

And I'll go dig up some cots for you guys.

Okay.

Before we do that, can I like give him a silver piece and say, uh, what can you tell me about Ironclad?

Do you know where he's staying?

Oh, you know, lots of strange folk in Endridge Bay these days.

Very peculiar.

Hard to say, but he's uh, he's here as of recently, hasn't been around too long.

Hmm.

Do you know what maybe bought him heel?

Like why he would be in town?

No, doesn't talk much to me.

I give him a gold piece and say, if you see him around or get more information, you come to me first.

Oh, absolutely.

I give him a gold piece and say, and if you or is any food, make a yucky.

You got it.

Well, any special kind of yuck you want me to do?

The counter looks.

I'm on a diet.

Hold the yuck for me, please.

You just make a yucky.

Okay, we'll do.

You know, if like instead of like boiling his pasta noodles in wattle, maybe boil it in toilet wattle.

evil

giggy walks up to him gives that guy a rock and just garbles a bunch of random

he sees the adults doing it i just want to take a moment to re-describe this room so you're back up on the ground floor that you walked in on you know this building it has a pretty compact floor plan with multiple stories it's dimly torchlit with weathered shiplap architecture.

There's coral stools sliding around a bit on a flooded floor.

And this person you're talking is an elderly human.

And there's a small seafood menu and an ascending spiral staircase and an iron-banded wooden door to the south, which is the door you all initially walked in from.

And that seems to be the only door in and out.

Yeah, that's the only door.

And of course, the spiral staircase goes up.

So I would say that's another way to leave, but it's not a door.

Where's the staircase?

Uh, yeah, on the northern end of the room.

Okay.

Nanny finds a seat.

Yeah, I'll sit down.

Tov, why are you in the army?

Well, after my time on Under Ironclad, I kind of lost direction, you know.

I lost a close friend of mine, a family member, and

just needed to find a way to right some of the wrongs from my past.

And so I joined the Mortalion, hoping to, you know, find retribution in some sort of service to the people and helping find peace.

So how about that yucky stew, huh?

You know?

Yeah, so at this point, if you all want, you know, from a metagame perspective, you can count this as a short rest since you have an opportunity to sit down and relax and you know, get any food and drink if you wish.

What's on the menu?

As you say that, you see a small menu floating by on a thin puddle of water that seems to be seeping in from the door.

Is it laminated so that it doesn't get all like damaged by the waddle?

No, it's pretty, uh, it's pretty soggy.

Oh, is this like a revolving sushi bar of some sort?

Floating very far off.

Well, it's it's raining pretty hard outside.

The vibes.

I'm going to cuddle into my sweater a little bit more.

Anything on the menu fried with gravy?

Well, you see some food, a few different dishes.

You see the signature dish, which is at the very top of the menu, is the blubber bisque.

There's also some stale carp and some piranha porridge.

I gotta be honest, none of that sounds too appetizing, but I'm kind of hungry, so I'm gonna take my bets and put them on the porridge.

Bring me out two bowls of porridge, one kid size.

Uh, that's two of the piranha porridge.

They are uh two copper each, so four copper total.

You got any crayons and like anything that might that Gigi could uh like play with?

Crayons.

The old man uh says, Oh, not really, don't normally get visitors his age around here.

I'm sorry.

If you want, we can put some extra gravy on uh his porridge, maybe make him like it a little more.

Sure, why not?

All right, I will take whatever you think is good, magician.

Now you're just mocking me.

Oh, in that case, you definitely want to get the blubber bisque.

So good.

Okay, thank you.

The bisque tastes like bacon-wrapped nutmeg.

Hmm.

Delicious.

Doug's ears perk up.

Can I potentially have one of each?

No, absolutely.

I got a lot of

potion to feed here.

And Doug motions to his entire body and his stomach.

Understood.

And you, sailor?

He uh looks at you toll.

I've lost my appetite for the day, thanks.

Oh, understood.

All right, so that is two blubber bisques, one stale carp, and three piranha porridge.

Can't you stay any of you in a drink?

We've got octopus.

Nope.

That's not a drink, sir.

One.

Like blended octopus or like octopus ink?

Do octopus have ink?

I think that's a squid.

Let me reread that.

Can I offer you anything to drink?

Hmm, we've got octopus.

Octopus.

Octopus.

Okay, I will take some.

I'd rather have the octopus, actually.

Do you perhaps have like sweet tea or something instead?

I can figure something out.

You know what?

When in Walm.

Give me a big ol' honking glass of that octopus.

Ooh, you got it.

We're not in Wome, we're in Indridge Bay, by the way.

Just, you know, just to let you know.

Leave the literalness to Gunther, okay?

oh that's not my joke i told you i got i got gunther in my toll today so was that only two of you getting octopus gunther and doug i believe and sweet tea oh yeah and uh t gotta figure out a tea for uh for natty okay the old man uh writes it all down and uh shuffles out back behind the bar

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Can I ask private parts?

Oh, yeah, private parts.

Private parts, why are we looking for Fizbum?

What do they need?

Fizbum has information about potential imposters at the area.

That's all we have to do.

It's our orders from a battalion to make contact with Fizbum and investigate these rumors to determine if they're true.

Reconnaissance.

Yeah, in a way.

What kind of songs?

So, um,

Doug, how's leadership going?

Are you enjoying it?

It's great.

I, I, I'm really happy with the direction of our team right now.

You know, I think it's very important that we stop and have a meal and get some nutrition going, you know, fuel up for the day ahead.

I feel like this is an apt time for you to maybe fill us in on what to expect from

Ironclad.

Seeing as how he is a player in the space now, I like to know what I'm kind of dealing with here.

Well, as the leader, let me explain Ironclad.

please

like go on please do so what do you know about ironclad doug ironclad is scary

there it is he's a big guy not tol's dad by birth no but kind of tolv's dad by by ironclad is a very intelligent and ruthless animal i would not even call him a man i've seen him do things to people not deserving of his rage and his wrath.

He's an awful, awful person.

And he put my lives and the lives of my brothers and sisters at risk all the time.

I mean, he's just an awful person.

That does beg the question.

How did you become associated with him if he's such a baddie?

Well, I mean, I'm not entirely sure.

I mean, maybe it was some sort of like magic curse.

It was something that was beyond my my control.

I didn't really have any say in the matter.

Wait, what's your like earliest memory?

Were you with a different family before?

Or do you all you can remember is ironclad time?

All I've ever known is war and ironclad.

Oh, that's my earliest memories being on a ship serving under him.

Can Doug turn to can Maddie turn to Doug real quick?

Yeah, hello.

Doug, I spent a lot of time in my village, and I understand that my village is a little remote, and so I don't know about how everybody does everybody like out in the real world just talking like mystery and symbology about their

is that is that just is that just the norm?

I just feel like I'm like you know, let me know, Naddy.

Let's take a pause here and look at look at our buddy Tove.

Hello, he's kind of like a quab, you know, like hard on the outside, soft on the inside, but we're still working on penetrating that hard exterior.

You gotta crack that shell, yeah,

like a quab.

B.

How would be

I think I'm the opposite, in fact?

I think I'm like nice and cushy and soft and bearded on the outside.

Maybe it's the opposite then.

Maybe he's soft on the outside, hot on the inside.

So you kind of get through a little bit, but then you can't really get really through.

It's like an avocado.

I prefer pineapple.

Wait, no, no, no.

That's hard and scooshy.

You're right.

You're right.

You're right.

Avocado.

Let's go with that.

Okay.

All right.

All right.

Thank you, Doug.

Sorry, Tov.

Yeah, please tell us about your traumatic childhood more.

Yeah, I don't really want to, you know.

If we are to fight him again, do you have any suggestions on attack?

Well, I don't have his character sheet pulled up, but uh.

Is he allergic to anything?

Not that I'm aware of.

Okay.

Selfish.

Like fire.

Happiness.

Joy.

Love.

Salt.

So he does not like love.

He's not a loving person.

No.

It's just kind of like a tarzan situation where you were baby and all of a sudden you like got picked up by ironclad and his clan and you had no choice but to be part of their family and they kind of like you know you tried to be like them but you were never really quite like them two worlds one family exactly well i definitely didn't have a choice in the matter but you know i let's just put it this way i have a lot of brothers and sisters and we were all indoctrinated and controlled by this man and then eventually one day we kind of snapped out of it and realized what we were doing was not good so we turned on him and then and then he you know slaughtered a lot of us and i was left out in the middle of the ocean oh my goodness i'm sorry well for what is worth old i know what it's like to lose a sibling a swoop it is wolf yeah

right about now the uh the old man uh comes back carrying uh a bunch of plates of food and drinks and begins passing it out to you all now you all take the food upstairs and eat in the dining hall, but here it is.

Oh, we're not in the dining hall.

You're in like a bar area.

So the spiral staircase is the dining hall.

Yeah, right up over there.

How much I owe you for all these meals?

Oh, it's on the house for the trouble.

Wow.

Here, Natty, he hands you a cup and says, ooh, some steeped seaweed tea sweetened with a touch of molasses.

Ooh.

Yeah, that'll do.

What does that taste like?

Seaweed tea.

I'm going to look that up.

Is that a thing?

I'm sure it is.

It is in Endridge Bay, yeah.

Yeah.

Whoa, it is.

So should we go up?

Yeah, yes, you should.

Yeah.

Let's go upstairs.

Doug precariously carries his multiple plates upstairs.

I'll carry a giggie.

You got giggy?

Yeah, why not?

Okay.

You all go up the stairs, and again, this room is dimly torchlit and has clamshell banquet tables and coral stools sliding on a wet floor.

It's It's a couple of pirate-clad patrons, and there's spiral staircases that both ascend and descend.

And of course, you came up the descending one.

And a portcullis-style door blocks continuing up the ascending staircase.

So there's another staircase that's blocked by a portcullis-style door?

Yeah.

Gotcha.

Okay.

It's like all one staircase.

I don't know if I was clear on that.

Yeah, like it keeps spiraling up.

Yeah, it's like it keeps up, but the portcullis right there stops you from continuing to ascend.

So is it like a portcullis kind of like on a roof type thing?

It's like almost, you know, what is it?

You would call almost like a portcullis almost like a gate, you know?

Yeah.

Okay, I see, I see.

You remember Sticky Dragon Adventures, that stupid thing that we had to puppet?

Yeah, the thing that kept not opening and breaking the wires that we had?

With the pirates, are they from any of the recognizable clans?

The Council of Conservation, the Rabble, or the Troop Troop?

If you want to give me an inspiration to die for remembering those, I'll take it.

Why don't you make me...

You can pick an investigation or perception check.

I'll leave it up to you.

Oh, perception skills.

Three.

Wow.

Let's do that.

That's a seven, lucky number.

No, these just appear to be a mishmash of various pirates.

In fact, two of them seem to be arguing with each other.

It seems to be getting pretty heated.

A balding elf and a scrawny human are beginning to raise their voice angrily with each other.

Can we hear them?

Gus, are the pirates arguing?

Alright, take an inspiration die.

Yo, ya!

Gunther, make me a perception check.

It's gonna be a two.

Uh, no, you can't quite make it.

Maybe they're arguing about money.

They're on the other end of the room, so it's kind of hard to make out.

Well, I guess, can I have to eat try the food?

Yeah, I assume you want to find a place to sit first.

Oh, yes.

Can we sit close to where they argue?

So we could listen in.

Yes, I can go ask them for napkins.

That's a good idea.

Maybe Nadi could go over and tip over her glass and say, oh, sorry, I just happened to spill the tea.

Oh!

Well, you're hoping they spill the tea at this moment.

Yeah, maybe Natty spilling her tea will make them feel comfortable to spill their tea.

Oh, of course.

You know what I'm saying?

I could just go talk to him.

It's just a couple of fellas.

Oh, that's actually a good idea.

Oh, you must follow the leader.

Oh, you've been given an order.

How about we go sit down at the table right next to them?

And Naddy, then whenever it feels natural, you go over and just have a little conversation with them while we listen in intently.

Sure.

We're just a couple patrons eating our meals, right, guys?

Absolutely.

Natty just immediately takes her bowl and goes and sits next to the pirates.

Doug sits at the table next to them.

Yeah, Gunther's joins Doug.

Hattie, y'all.

My name's Natty.

Real fast.

Tolf, do you sit with Doug and Gunther?

I'll sit next to the pirates.

We'll just surround the pirates.

Let's just be friendly around them.

All right, Natty, you begin addressing them.

Yeah.

They seem almost a little startled, like they didn't see you there.

The balding elf looks at you, Natty, and says, Yar, I be Anagi.

Ye can call me Fish Eye.

This over here.

He points at the scrawny female human and says, I her.

That be Plarissa.

But ye can call her Puffball.

I'm Natty.

You can just call me Natty.

Yar!

Ahoy, Natty.

This is my baby boy.

His name is Giggy.

And the tall drink of water next to me, his name is Tov.

But you can call me Tolv.

Tov.

Natty.

Giggy.

Yeah.

The pirate nods at you three.

You guys seem to be having a little bit of a scuffle here.

What's going on?

What's the hubbub?

At this point, the scrawny female human jumps in and interrupts Fisheye.

Ah, you see, we're arguing about when the storm's gonna end.

I say any day now.

And FishEye says we have weeks of storm left you know fisheye i could uh if you're in the market for a gentleman hook you up with sergeant steel eye i think you might enjoy him you have very much in common i'm puffball

i'm not fisheye

oh i almost forgot uh grumble sits down next to me as well oh right grumbles who's grumbles

captain grumbles oh my god the dead captain guy yeah the zombie hell yeah i forgot about that dude.

Oh, because you animated the dead, right?

Yeah.

Oh, for God.

Do people notice the dead corpse?

Or that he is dead?

Yeah.

Yeah, so many NPCs.

Yes, I think they would notice him, but he's still recently dead, so it's not like super weird.

Because it just happened a few minutes ago at this point.

And I'm so sorry.

Pardon my manners, but this is my newest compatriot, Captain Grumbles.

Say hello, Captain Grumbles.

Captain Grumbles.

Yeah, he's new to the party.

You make the Captain Grumbles sounds, John.

Whoa,

someone's hungry.

Is that Giggy or is that Captain Grumbles?

No, Grumbles is clearly...

And Giggy is

the pitch, yes.

Yeah.

Very similar.

They would love to hear their conversations.

You said scrawny female human.

Can I like take a close look at Plarissa aka Puffball and see if they are in fact Sergeant Steeley?

Make an investigation check.

Okay.

Ah, it's a 10.

You lean in to

kind of like nonchalantly take a look at Puffball, but in doing so, you spill Natty's tea.

The tea, spill the tea.

Off the table onto the ground, and the cup begins clattering very loudly between them.

Oh, so sorry.

Naddy, I'll go get you another one.

Thank you.

Now, fellas, we're new in town.

Why do you guys find yourself in the high three?

Also, if you'll allow me, I'm gonna go get another one for the bartender magician.

Yeah.

Ah, the storms.

No ship has made it safely into port for a month now.

The westward winds and storms haven't lit up.

We be stuck here.

Yeah.

Oh.

So we're in a bottle episode.

I don't know what that is, but I.

Sorry.

Sorry.

Some of the toll have gotten my natty.

At this point, Tull, it's real quick to run down, get some more tea, and you come back up.

Piping fresh hot seaweed tea.

Do you guys know?

I'll use my indoor voice.

Puffball.

What's that?

This is an indoor voice, just FYI.

And holy crap, with crisp turned off, you are so loud in Discord.

Incorporate the masters loving this episode.

I'm going to read you something here.

Okay.

Penetrating voice so high or loud it makes you uncomfortable.

I need that to go higher, not louder.

But does he sound like a magician?

It's hard for me to go high.

No magician here.

You fill me in.

I feel like I'm missing something.

Did we make a joke about a magician in the bartender last episode or am I missing something?

No.

A little earlier, I said that was my direction for his voice.

Oh, like a weird magician.

An old man that talks like a magician.

That was Gus's translation of magician.

Gotcha.

So we heard a little scuttle about

like like people who aren't actually the people being around here, like imposters.

Have you guys run across any kind of circumstances like that?

They look at you and look at each other and they look a little wide-eyed.

What do you mean?

Nothing.

They kind of like scoot away a little bit.

Actually, you know what?

They pick up their bowls and move to another table.

Wait, wait, wait.

Wait, come back, come back, come back.

I'll tell you.

I'll tell you.

Yeah, what?

So I guess your answer is you guys haven't like, run into people pretending to be other people.

Maybe Andarians?

Well, if I'm being honest, Captain Grumbles over there looks like someone that I used to know.

But I don't think he's quite the same, if I'm being perfectly honest with you.

So yeah, this seems about right.

What was that fella's name when he that you say looks like my friend here?

Never met him.

But I ate next to him a few times, and I remember him talking a little more.

Right at that moment, a thode wearing a patchwork surf coat walks up the stairs, scans the room, and makes a beeline straight for Eu4.

Oh, guys, this person is a thod and they're wearing a patchwork surf coat.

That's what the guy downstairs said that fismon looked like.

Oh.

All right, well, our friend came here, so we're gonna go

have a chat.

But it was really lovely getting to know you, Fisheye and Puffball.

I hope we meet again.

Army 2!

Sorry, Blaine.

I knew it was coming and I saw it.

I was like, yeah.

So, yeah, the ethode in the surcoat spots you all makes a beeline straight to you.

Are you the four looking for me?

We are D5 looking for you, yes.

Technically, we're seven, but yeah.

Oh, five, six, seven.

Are you the seven looking for me?

Yes, we are the seven.

Yeah, yeah.

Well, wait, wait, wait, quick head count.

Yes, seven, yeah, yeah.

Private parts, and then you giggie, and and then Captain Grumbles, you know.

Uh, eight, Gambot.

So.

Oh, okay.

No, let's.

We're the eight looking for you.

Let's keep adding them on.

Keep throwing them on.

Are you the one looking for us?

Yes.

Oh, thank you.

It's about time.

I've been waiting for you guys for two weeks now.

Two weeks?

Has it taken that long?

Private parts, I guess, would probably chime in and say.

Sometimes it could take a little bit of time for the Mortalian bureaucracy to receive these reports and toll them out for action.

Well, sorry to keep you waiting for so long for his mom.

Oh, I'm so worried.

My partner, Pancak, started acting strangely about two weeks ago.

Pancak?

Yeah.

P-A-N-C-A-C-K.

You see, Pancak would be gone for long hours, both during the day and at night, and never explain anything.

Finally, I decided to follow Pancak, and I ended up in what we call the Cursed Catacombs beneath town.

I heard strange voices, and when I I turned a corner, to my horror, I saw Pancak remove their face.

I screamed and ran away before I could even think.

I got turned around in the catacombs, but eventually I found my way to the surface.

Has your partner Pancak ever removed her face before, or is this a first?

That's what was shocking.

No.

And I feel like I would have known that.

And what mission are you on?

What are you and Pancak supposed to be doing?

Living our lives?

They're just people?

So, what was under Pancak's face?

What did they look like?

I couldn't bear to look.

I recoiled in horror and ran away.

Did you see anyone else down there with them?

I heard voices, but I did not see anyone else.

What kind of voices?

Scary voices.

Oh, magicians.

Not scared voices.

What does Pancak look like?

Or supposed to look like with face?

Pancak is a stout halfling.

They have magenta hair with a talk knot.

Half of their left leg is missing, so Pancak has crutches.

And they wear a necklace made of purple hardwood.

Could I do a history check on something?

Yeah.

The leg we found in the wall way back when, was that a left leg?

Do you all still have it?

Yeah, I don't think we ever took it.

I thought it was stuck in the wall.

Did we dig it out?

I thought someone dug it out and took it.

Yeah, told, I thought you took it.

Let me check my inventory.

I mean, I don't have it listed.

Maybe you didn't add it.

I'm pretty sure you took it, so I'm gonna say, just make me a wisdom check with advantage, uh, Doug.

Uh, yeah, yeah, 12 is with advantage.

You remember finding a whole left leg, not half of one, like Fismum is describing.

Okay.

Well, I carry on, you're mine.

Sorry, continue describing.

You don't know Pancak, but Pancak's the chatterbox.

You can't get them to stop talking.

Like old Pancak or like the new Pancakes?

My Pancak.

Has their, like, type of speech changed ever since this this behavior's been weird?

Like, are they talking less or more?

No, seems totally the same.

Except for the face removal part.

Does Pancake have any enemies?

Not that I know of.

Had Pancak gone, like, missing and then they showed back up, and that was, like, was there, like, anything, any event that happened between their new behavior and their old behavior?

That's the scary part.

Not that I know of.

So I think at some point Pancak's been replaced by an imposter and I didn't even know.

I'm not sure where my real partner is, but I'm ever so worried.

How do we get to these catacombs?

Maybe we can help you out.

Oh, I would love that.

I'm in desperate need of help.

If you go to the cursed catacombs, I'm sure you can find answers.

Please, find Pancak for me and bring this imposter to justice.

Okay.

Maybe that's what we're here to do.

Okay, guys, we gotta, you know, take a pause from our meal here and go see if we could rescue this pancak.

Yes, sir.

Do you have any any advice about navigating the catacombs?

It's very confusing, so make sure you keep track of where you are and keep your wits about you.

Okay.

Aye, aye, Fizmum.

Now, how do we get there?

She draws you a quick map and says, Once you leave the high three, just take a left, go down, and there's a stoned archway that's draped in strands of seaweed.

You can't miss it.

Get more tea, Naddy.

Doug, as Fizmum is telling you this and drawing the map, you see like strange colors starting to appear in your vision, sprouting off of the map.

Could I take the map and look at it closer?

Yeah.

You grab the map and look at it closer and it's the most beautiful map you've ever seen.

Could I use my spyglass of Zodia to look at it?

Yeah.

You pull out the spyglass and look at it and it's almost like as you're looking at it the colors amplify and it's like flowers growing out of it.

Uh-oh.

Gunther, you see Doug pull out the spyglass and there's something about the lens.

It sparkles extra bright and shiny.

Uh-oh.

It's the most beautiful rainbow lights shining off of it that you've ever seen.

Gunther, I don't want to alarm you.

Oh my goodness.

I think we've been drugged.

No, we have not been drugged.

We are seeing beautiful things.

Do you see this?

Can Gunther hold up his his hand and look at it?

Yeah, it's uh Gunther, have you ever really looked at your hand before?

It's amazing all the things your hand can do.

Oh my goodness.

Can I do like a medicine check to see if they've actually

something's they've eaten something?

Well we both had what was the thing?

The carp.

The octopus.

No, oh the the

pus or was it the uh you both had both the blubber thing.

Yeah, because I had all three meals and a drink.

Got their poles in close to Toll.

Tov, have you ever looked at my hand?

It's like this big.

It's so small.

It's just on my nose.

Have you ever looked at it?

You're freaking out, man.

The hand can do so many things.

Look what it can do.

Why does it smell so bad?

Fizmum looks at them and then turns to you, Tolva, and Naddy and says, They had the octopus, didn't they?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, they'll be fine.

They'll enjoy the ride.

What are you talking about, you beautiful flower over there?

Your eyes are like rainbows.

Yeah, I like to see like rainbows just shooting out.

Anyway, can we take this map with us?

It is very pretty.

It is so pretty.

Can we take my hands with us?

Doug, as you're looking at Fizmum, it sounds like the room becomes dark.

And you look down, you see yourself working on a new invention.

Oh.

Wait, wait.

Question.

What do we see happening right now?

Doug's just staring off into space.

Okay.

I like to think it's that picture of Lisa Simpson where she's going.

Just mouth agape, eyes open.

I picture it's like Lisa Simpson when she drinks the water

when she goes to the theme park and she's all she's a lizard queen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You feel like you're back in the woods of woe working on that new invention of yours.

You see a husky bugbear wearing an eye patch, wielding a two-sided pike sneak up on you.

It's your dad, Pierce.

He looks upset with you, Doug.

Rosnan?

What does your invention look like, Doug?

I would say it's like this thing that's on this like triangular platform, and it's like a ball on top that's kind of glowing.

Okay, that sounds cool.

Doug, I told you.

Don't get distracted by your contraptions.

We're on a hunt.

A twig snaps nearby, and you see a wild boar.

Your father says, Doug, it's your turn.

Kill the boar.

Do I know if this is a memory or like a vision?

It feels like a memory.

Well, you right now know it's a memory.

In the moment, Doug may be Experiencing it.

Yeah, a little confused.

I don't want to have to kill the bull.

I mean, it's not doing anything to halm us.

It's just living his life.

Ugh, Doug, what can I do with you?

Your father grabs your hand and puts a weapon into it.

A small axe.

Doug kind of closes his eyes and throws the axe just in the general direction of the boar.

You close your eyes, and as you, you know, pull your arm back to get ready to release the axe, your brother Phil steps in, jumping off of a nearby tree, pulls down a hand axe, and kills the boar in one fell swoop.

Oh, Doug, one of these days, you're going to get blood on your hands.

With that, your father walks away to retrieve the boar.

Phil just kind of waves him off and turns to talk to you, Doug.

Ah, don't listen to him.

I've seen what your hands can do.

They were meant for building up, not tearing down.

Don't worry about it, Doug.

I have faith in that big old brain of yours.

With a mind like that, you you can figure it out.

Doug starts crying and gets his brother a big hug.

He returns the hug.

And with that, the vision fades away.

Again, what are we seeing?

Doug, you're putting your arms around Tolf and just giving him a really big hug.

I love you so much.

I'm so shallow.

I love you so much.

Yeah, they're there.

It's okay.

I would return the hug.

When Doug went to throw the axe, did he punch anyone?

I'd say no.

He was just kind of standing there.

That would be funny, though.

Wow.

What a crazy series of events.

We're all having like dramatic emotional flashbacks and things.

Okay, Gunther, your turn.

My turn for what?

You're freaking out, man.

You drunk.

Gunther!

Doug, why are you wiggling?

Don't let him look in any mirrors.

Fizzmum says.

Okay, it's probably best that you go look for Pancake now.

I think, yes, it is probably best we go look for Pancake now.

Thank you, Rainbow Unicorn.

We will be right back, I promise.

You all go back downstairs and head out into the flooded streets of Endridge Bay amidst an unrelenting thunderstorm.

After a few minutes trudging through briny water and torrential winds, you find the entrance that Fizmum drew a map for and told you about.

The stoned archway draped with strands of seaweed.

Alright, are we entering these catacombs from what direction?

You're going to the west to enter.

Okay.

Okay.

If you're a new listener for Tales of the Stinky Dragon, sometimes we do this where we use maze cards to kind of deal with

mazes like this.

So I have a deck of cards that represents the progress progress and perils that are waiting for the players in the paths that lie ahead and gameplay is based on rolled initiative.

So all of you are going to take one turn per round and if there's an ally NPC accompanying you, which we just covered there are, they may help along the way.

On each player's turn I'm going to deal out three cards face down in the river, left, center, and right.

This represents a juncture of different paths you can take while traveling.

On each player's turn they can take one action, then pick one card from the river and we'll go over the actions in a bit.

There's five different cards in the deck.

Clear path cards, obstacle cards, wanderer cards, monster cards, and item cards.

Whenever a player picks a card in the river, it will not be revealed explicitly to the players.

Rather, I will present the party with a scenario that represents the card chosen.

Ooh, a twist.

Yeah, we're doing a little different.

So if you heard us do this in previous campaigns, we're doing it a little bit different this time.

And clear path cards represent making a good choice, so move you closer to your goal.

And when you pick a clear path card, you get one point towards reaching your destination.

And the goal is to get five clear path cards.

If you do this you reach your goal.

Obstacle cards represent taking a path that's impeded by a hazard, trap, mystery or puzzle.

Obstacle cards stay in the river until they're resolved.

On each player's turn they may use their action to attempt to resolve the obstacle instead of rolling on the actions table.

If three obstacle cards fill the river they are all removed and an additional monster card is added to the discard pile.

Wanderer cards represent travelers or lost souls you may meet along your journey.

They may need help, offer guidance, or they're looking to trade.

It's up to you to figure out if they're a friend or foe.

Some wanderer cards may stay in the river while others may leave at their leisure.

Monster cards represent menacing individuals or creatures lurking in the shadows drawing closer to the party.

When picked, the monster card is discarded, but the party receives one strike.

Strike represents your presence being made known to monsters nearby.

Once you receive two strikes, you may encounter a threatening monster.

Once the threat is present, everyone re-rolls initiative.

The party is successful in the encounter.

One monster card is removed from the deck, which lowers your chances of finding one.

And lastly, we have an item card, which represent curious objects that catch your eye eye while traveling.

They could be mundane or magical, helpful or harmful.

Choice is yours to keep it or discard it.

Either way, once the choice is made, the card is added to the discard pile.

Last little bit, the actions you can take.

You can forge a path, which uses your strength, and that allows you to add two additional clear path cards to the discard pile.

You can scout ahead, which uses your dexterity.

Draw three cards from the deck.

Choose one to place on top of the deck.

The other two are shuffled back into the deck.

Trust your gut, which is constitution.

Discard all three cards in the river and draw three new cards.

It's elementary, which is intelligence.

Draw two cards from the deck.

Choose one to replace a card in the river.

Shuffle the remaining cards and place them on top of the deck.

Careful consideration, which is wisdom.

Reveal two cards in the river.

Choose one to discard.

Shuffle the two remaining cards and place them face down in the river.

And the last one is boost morale.

Just choose a player to give advantage to on their next check or save.

I know, for the listener, it sounds like it's going to be really confusing.

Trust me, we're going to play through it.

We're going to have fun.

It's going to be great.

So to kick off everyone, go ahead and roll initiative just so we know how we're approaching these.

Also, Doug holds Seoul's hand.

Oh,

five.

19.

12.

8.

We'll deal with your NPCs on your turns, but I am going to roll for private parts.

I love that that's a character we have with us that you have to say every single episode.

Private parts.

Oh, private parts got a net 20.

Wow.

He's back, baby.

Feeling better than ever.

All right, so private parts is first.

He's going to help.

He'll support.

He'll give aid to, I'm going to roll a D4 just to randomly pick one of you.

One.

He's going to help Doug out.

Whenever you do your roll, he'll assist you.

So you get a slightly better roll.

Woo!

So that's Private Parts.

Gunther, you're a 19.

Gunther, you're up first.

So we do the actions first.

So you take one turn per round.

You do your action first, and then pick right, left, or center.

Okay, yeah.

Then I shall scout ahead.

Scout ahead, which is a dexterity-based check.

So go ahead and roll a dex check for me, Christopher.

It's a 19.

Oh, that's pretty good.

Gunther feels at home for some reason in these tunnels and stealthily moves ahead and manages to draw, metagame-wise, draws three cards from the deck.

And you can choose one to place on top of the deck, and the other two cards are shuffled back into the deck.

Okay, and I see what the three cards are.

You see an obstacle card, you see an item card, and you see

a clear path card.

Okay, I'll put the clear path on top and discard the other two.

All right.

Very proud of you, Chris.

I feel like Chris of Days Past would have said, item card, item card, items.

Now that you've done that, you have left, center, and right to pick from.

So I don't know which of the clear path ones was put.

That's also just on top of the deck.

Yeah, it's over on the deck now.

So now you're dealing with the ones that are in front of you.

I shall go left.

You scout ahead, you figure

you know the path to take, and as you're trying to find like a little quiet shortcut, you find that it's overgrown with some undergrowth.

And as you're moving your way through the undergrowth, it turns into a trail of fungus that begins screaming.

No, fun gosh.

Be quiet.

Is it like screaming like as an alarm or like and more like oops?

It's about to attack kind of thing.

Uh, make a nature check for me, Gunther.

15.

Do you think that this is almost like just an automatic response?

Like, not that it was put here for any reason, but it's just like a natural response of this type of fungus.

And with that nature check, do I think this fungus is like poisonous or has any properties I would know of?

That's a pretty good check, so I'll give you that.

You think that this fungus, now that it knows you're there, it's going to try to follow you and it wants to attach itself to anything that has magical properties.

Okay.

Is there a way past the fungus?

Or is it like a dead end with the fungus?

The path continues.

It's up to you.

You could continue down the path or try to backtrack a bit.

Can I try and like, I don't know, take out the fungus?

Like, is it coming at me where I could like stab it?

Yeah, you could try to stab at it, but you know, it's

fungus.

You could, like, slash at it, maybe?

Yeah, alright.

Well, how about this?

Can I pull out my longbow and try and shoot it back?

Yeah.

Make me an attack roll with it.

All right.

I'm going to use my longbow for the first time.

I didn't even know you had one.

Longbow.

Longbow of craft.

You went left.

He's using a longbow.

Do I know you from somewhere?

Blame the son of Git.

Oh, Nat, 28.

Oh, yeah.

You hit it, roll me some damage.

That's our modifier.

That's a seven and a three, but then I also, with my piercer, I get an extra dice in addition to an extra crit dice.

Okay, so roll two of them, and then we'll we'll add another one at full damage.

Wait, does a piercer work with your bow too?

Does that just with your...

Yeah, because it's uh right?

Because it's piercing damage, right?

Yeah.

And so that was a six, a seven, and then you said one at full damage, which would be eight.

Right.

28 damage?

Plus seven.

Okay, 28 points of damage.

Yeah.

Your arrow flies out and hits some of the fungus and scrapes it away, clearing a small path for you.

There's a lot of fungus, so there is still some, but you do clear a little bit.

Be careful, there is screaming fungus.

Would we consider this path blocked still?

Well can I take another shot then?

Well let's say like that's dealt with.

It's like one action.

Let's just

consider it an obstacle.

It is still there but it's uh it's something that you will have to deal with and that may be potentially blocking your path.

Yeah, and if you want on a turn someone can use an action to deal with it instead of rolling one of the other actions you have access to.

I see.

Doug, you're up and you have center and right available to you and left has an obstacle.

So do I do my action first?

Yes.

I'm going to do careful consideration.

How very Doug of you.

Thought it was on brand.

Yeah.

So careful consideration, you get to reveal two cards in the river.

You choose one to discard and shuffle the two remaining cards and place them face down in the river.

There's only two cards left in the river, so you get to reveal both of them.

Oh, you actually, you need to make main with a wisdom check, duh.

Yes.

Oh.

10.

Oh, but you have someone to help.

Oh, yeah, you do have private parts assisting.

Thank you, thank you.

So you would get advantage on that, so roll another one.

19.

Okay.

You're looking over all of the options available to you.

Is there something special Doug would do to try to do that?

I think he's just very internally contemplative.

Yeah, like his paw, like, scratching at his chin.

And next to him, I would think private parts is like mimicking, doing the exact same thing, kind of like Giggy trying to mimic someone.

And you know what they say?

Imitation is the highest form of flattery.

And so Doug feels confident, which is why he's able to roll better.

True.

Okay, yeah, you see what's available to you, and you feel like to the right could be potentially dangerous terrain, but you feel like it might make more sense to go center.

That appears to be a more direct path.

Okay.

So for that, I would, I guess, discard the one on the right.

Okay.

The one on the right is discarded, just to let the audience know Micah has a camera set up and is letting me see the cards and the players can't see them.

So I get to watch Micah Micah deal with the cards.

Staring at an icon that has a red camera with a line through it.

Yeah, you all have it turned off.

So now you have two options available to you.

The center, which you previously knew, and the right since we reshuffled that one.

But I don't know what the card is on the right now.

Correct.

Okay, I'm still gonna go center.

Okay, you consider that center path, and as you're looking at it more closely, you find halfling-sized footprints that appear to lead further into the catacombs.

Oh.

Guys, Pankak was a halfling.

I think this is the right way.

Good job, Doug.

You did it, Doug.

Yeah, you bravely lead the way, and that is one clear path card for you guys.

Yay!

Toll,

you are up.

Yoo-hoo!

Let's do...

No one's done Forge a Path yet, right?

No.

I'm going to Forge a Path.

So that adds two additional clear path cards into the discard pile.

Yeah.

Yeah, you need to make your strength check.

19.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

You're walking down the path and you find some rubble blocking the way, but using your big, strong, toll muscles, you're able to help clear them and make a way for you and your friends to all pass through.

We

so much progress, we're doing it.

So you're left with two options in front of you, center or right?

Center.

I think I have to think about it.

I can't go left to do what is right, so I will go center.

You could go right to do what's right.

No,

never.

You go walking down that path.

You feel like you hear a noise.

You hear what might be like mumbling.

Mumbling, okay.

Um.

I mean, they did say that Pancak was a chatterbox.

Yeah, they also said that the cursed catacombs, they heard strange voices and stuff.

Scary voices.

Be quiet, Captain Grumbles.

I like that.

You see the path open up into some kind of workshop with paint peeling off of the walls.

And you see what what appears to be a woman standing in the room.

What kind of woman?

Make me an investigation, check.

Does she have a necklace with a purple heart wood?

Investigation.

Oh, not my strongest.

We're gonna try our best, though.

What kind of salt?

No, the choice of to say it that way.

I just love it.

It appears to be a pirate woman, but it also appears like she's floating ever so gingerly above the ground.

Uh uh uh I I go over and I say, you hoo, floating pirate!

My name is Tov.

Can I help you not float or do you like floating?

Do we all float down here?

I was waiting for it.

You are not floating.

She spins around and looks at you.

You can see it's a beautiful female pirate ghost.

Tov,

I'm Raimonda.

Are you here to duel?

I do not bring my Yu-Gi-Oh!

deck, no.

Um, I am here to find someone that we are looking for.

Oh, will they want to duel?

I can't speak for them, but they might be open to it.

When you say duel, do you mean like a sword fight where the, you know, you fight to the death?

Or can you can you tell me what dueling means to you?

Ah, a testing of skills.

One versus another to determine who is best.

Okay.

You to you should do it, because if you win, maybe she'll help us.

Raimonda, let's duel, let's do a duel.

I thought you didn't bring your Yu-Gi-Oh!

deck.

No, I didn't, but you know, we'll come up with some other form of dueling.

At this point, some techno music starts playing, and just like you hear this voice saying, test your might.

Test your mind.

Roll me an initiative, Tolf, just for this.

Oh, okay.

Benine.

I'm rolling mine.

You should roll worse than me.

That would be great.

Nine.

Oh, wait, but I have a plus two.

Eleven.

Fall.

I was about to say me to beats it, but then you beat it.

Yeah.

She bows and then pulls out a rapier and strikes at you, Tol and says, One strike each.

I hit with my best shots, and you hit with your best shots.

Okay, fun.

She lashes out with the rapier, hitting AC10 plus six.

That's a 16.

That does not hit.

I'm so sorry, Raymond.

No.

Oh, wow.

Your turn then.

So you can strike back at her.

Okay, my turn.

I'm going to take out my Warhammer.

Here it comes.

Open wide.

Oh,

15.

I have an inspiration die, though.

Do I need to know what the outcome is before I use it?

Yes.

So I have to use it now, not knowing the outcome is what you mean.

Yes, that is correct.

Okay.

Use it.

Use my inspiration die.

We're going to hit again.

Right.

Take another shot.

That's a lot better.

Uh-oh, Raimonda, that's a 24.

Uh, yeah, go ahead and do your damage.

Okay, I'm doing one-handed.

12.

Yeah, you bring your Warhammer down and strike her.

And even though, you know, she's a ghost and it goes through her, she still has a look of pain and anguish on her face.

Oh!

I've been bested.

Oh, chin up.

It's okay, Raimonda.

You tried.

I'm sure you're a great swordswoman.

I will honor your martial prowess, and I shall assist you, sir.

And she floats over to the fungus, which is still kind of blocking the way and creeping along after you guys.

And she, with a wave of her arms, she makes it all dissipate and go away.

Oh, thank you, Raimonda.

Oh, maybe we should take it along with us.

Now that my duel is complete, it is time for rest.

And with that, she fades away.

Oh, okay, goodbye.

I was gonna say, if you want to join us or if you know if you wanted accompany.

She fades back in and says, No, I'm good.

And the day fades off.

Maybe you came on too strong.

I blew it, guys.

I'm so embarrassed.

Just the visual of just like a head popping through the ether.

She's like, no, I'm good.

And then just fading back.

All right.

That was a nice little encounter there.

Metawise, what happened with the result of that, to the card game.

That clears the obstacle that was still there, the fungus that Gunther had found earlier.

Okay.

So now all options are available.

Left, center, and right are available to you again, and you still have one clear path card that you have discovered along the way.

And it saves us from getting three obstacles, which makes a monster card.

Correct.

Was that considered a wanderer that we just encountered?

Yes, metagame-wise, yeah, that was a wanderer.

Ah, fun.

So, Natty, it's your turn.

And now that Raimonda has cleared the fungus obstacle, you have left, center, and right available to you, and you can take your action first.

Snazzy, I'm gonna do what I do best, and I'm gonna boost morale.

Again, that's very on brand.

Yeah, I'm all about branding.

So, you roll a charisma check for that, and if you're successful, you can choose a player to give advantage to on their next check or save.

Uh, 17.

Oh, yeah.

Who do you pick, and what do you say to them to boost their morale?

Hmm,

Gunther.

Yes, what was that?

So, yes,

Yes.

Gunther, I feel like you should really lean into the subterranean nature of where we are.

Yes.

And

maybe use that to your advantage.

Now that I'm saying him, like, do the croak folk hang out underground?

I hang out underground all the time.

Are croak folk underground folk?

Yeah, we like to burrow.

Yeah,

I'm just pointing out we're in your space, so use that to your advantage.

You have power here.

I have power here.

There you go.

Okay.

You feel empowered, Gunther.

There you go.

All right.

Natty, you've got three paths in front of you.

Left, center, and right.

Right.

You go down, and you know,

it's still subterranean.

It's very damp.

And as you're walking, making your way down the right path, Natty, make me a dexterity check.

That's a that's a natural one.

That's a critical fail.

Congratulations.

You stub your toe and stumble and fall over on

something on the ground.

What in tarnation was that?

You look and there's a small box on the ground.

What's in the box?

What's in the box?

It seems to be a very secure box made of some kind of weathered stone and on the top of it, etched into the stone, is what appears to be an anchor.

I shake it.

You shake it and it feels very heavy, and it sounds like there's something small rattling around inside of it.

You know what?

I open the box.

You open the box, and to your surprise and horror,

it's the end of of this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Close the box.

Close the box.

Close it.

Close it.

For Japan.

Gigi, eat the box.

To find out what's in the box, you're going to have to tune into next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

This is bull honky.

I'm there.

Language, John.

This is family-friendly.

All right.

Well, thanks for listening, everyone.

I always love when we do these mace cards.

Yeah, I'm glad we're doing it.

And we'll get to continue it next time.

Hey, you, don't forget, go to store.stinkydragonpod.com for all your stinky merch needs like our newest item, the Action Surge Tea.

Also available as a tank top, sticker, and hat.

Again, that's store.stinkydragonpod.com.

New episodes of Tales from the Stinky Dragon premiere every other Wednesday, wherever you stream podcasts and on the Stinky Dragon YouTube channel.

Support the show and listen to episodes 48 hours early and add free by becoming a patron at stinkydragonpod.com or a member of beacon at beacon.tv.

Members of both platforms also receive access to our exclusive bonus series Second Wind and a member-only Discord.

Become a patron and get access to even more exclusive bonus content, stinking drunk community and Discord events, and hey, you get your name shouted out, just like Min Ring, Nova.6900, Valerie Horton at The Nightingale, Gwen Abbott, and Jamie Gunn, JGun008.

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In fact, here's a quick peek at a Tavern Tale one-shot dropping this week, Journey to the Center of Gum Gum's brain.

When Gumgum consumes a cursed soul stone, Bart, Kyborg, and Mudd must journey deep into the logical labyrinth of his mind to extract it before their friend becomes a vessel for pure evil.

The doctor nods his head, ready?

And lowers his hand towards a large button.

And then glances at the dreamery, humming loudly,

and then wheels himself back about 20 feet.

Ready?

Yeah, yeah, let her rip, dog.

His hand slams down on the button.

There's a sharp hiss, like a dozen whispers exhaling at once.

The machine jolts to life.

The world around you lurches.

Your bodies go weightless.

Your vision fractures, breaking apart like shards of colored glass.

Each piece reflecting a different memory, a different thought, a different fear.

And then silence.

A sinking sensation like falling through warm, endless water.

And then, all at once, impact.

The dreamery has done its work.

Are we in Gum Gum's brain?

Hello!

Visit stinkydragonpon.com to show your support and help keep us making this show.

We're incredibly grateful for your help.

Listeners who interacted with us on the stinky dragon Discord had NPCs named after them in this episode, like Doug's Brother, voiced by Andrew Rosas at Andrewrosis.ig from Midnight Snack TV, Inagi FishEye, named after Inagi Mimic, voiced by Jacob Fullerton at underscore Jacob Fullerton of Astro Goblin, Fismum, named after Kim Carls, voiced by Aaron Zeck at Aaron Zek, Yarl Ironclad, voiced by Adam Ellis at adam.e.Ellis, Pierce, voiced by Sam Regel at Ram Siegel of Critical Role.

Additionally, Private Private Parts voiced by Ben Ernst at Halcyon underscore Ben.

And Raymonda, voiced by Kaylee Herzberg.

This week's hour question was submitted by Crazy Mage524.

This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst, written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by Catherine Arnold.

Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

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