C02 - Ep. 45.5 - Vengeance in Vainia - Between the Tales

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Hello, everyone.

Welcome to Tales of the Stinky Dragon.

It's time for a between the tales.

You have no rhymes.

There was no enunciation.

What is going on here?

I'm giving jazz hands.

Does that help?

Does that help

you?

Look at my jazz hands.

Your jazz hands are kind of creepy.

Yes, audio listeners.

Look at his jazz hands.

They are very like, I'm going to grab that thing off of your table.

I'm going to steal your food kind of jazz hands.

We all float down here.

I'm your dungeon master, Gustavus Rola.

I am joined by our four players who I'm not hitting with an arrow today.

So players, why don't you just introduce yourselves?

I'm Blaine.

I didn't know I was going first, so I just went for it.

I'm Blaine.

I played Chip Haney.

I'm a level seven Tfling.

Level nine Tiefling Rose.

What?

Oh, spoiler.

Was I supposed to say that?

Yeah, sure.

Why not?

Okay.

Restart the whole session.

Hello, everyone.

Welcome to Between the Tales.

Go, go, Blaine.

Oh, what?

That was it.

What else was I supposed to say?

I don't know.

What's your favorite pair of underwear you owned?

Is this my arrow?

You know, I actually switched to briefs recently just to try them out, you know, to lose the lining because I have boxer lining.

Yeah.

And they're terrible.

I hate them.

They're very uncomfortable.

When you say you have boxer lining, what does that mean?

You know, like, because I wear really short shorts, they're all very tight.

And they just like, you just see the line on my thigh when I'm wearing my pants.

So if I switch to like tidy whiteys, then the line.

It's not a tiny line, but a box line.

I got it.

Okay.

Yeah.

I have a question.

So you're saying tidy whiteys, which to me is the appropriate way of saying it.

I've heard so many people say whitey tidies.

Incorrect.

And I'm just like, that's not it.

But so many people say whitey tidies.

And I'm like, no, it's tidy whiteys.

Van Broth?

Mon broth.

Is it whitey tidy?

Okay, sorry.

Tidy whiteys.

Stop.

Whitey, tidy.

Wefty Woossy.

I'm Chris Tamars.

Hello, Chris.

Who do you play?

I play Barney Farney.

You didn't do the voice.

There it is.

Okay.

I was like, I don't know how long to let this go before I.

What's your favorite pair of underwear you own?

Yeah, Ben was commenting that since we don't have an arrow, you all have forgotten how to introduce yourselves.

And what level and class is Barney Farney?

Barney Farney.

He's a human cleric and recently level nine.

Nice.

Spoiler.

Wow.

Well, I'm Barbara Dunkelman.

And I play Ugle and Breath, the level nine, half a vampire barbarian.

I said that very kind of muddled

because I was swallowing my food.

Truly a jill of all trades.

Aw, thank you, Gus.

She's many things.

Also, we need to find out at some point what Barney actually is because there ain't no way this guy's human.

He's just a bunch of squirrels all standing on top of each other.

That explains his love of trying to collect random animals.

True.

Sure.

Hi, I'm John Reisinger, and I play Matid Confisus, who is an Eric Cochrane ghost monk and is level 9.3.

Ooh, nice.

In DD terms, it's still just level 9.

By the time that this episode comes out, then the episode with Avina will have come out.

And we record, my girlfriend plays Avina, Kristen, and we did her lines last night.

And there was this line where she says,

oh, my God.

Most fun.

I can't wait to hear that.

I'm very excited.

I'm a huge fan of Kristen in general, so I'm glad that she gets to do the part.

I think that episode came out today that we're recording this episode.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I think that was the one that came out today.

Yeah, that tracks.

There was an episode that came out today, but I don't know if that's a good idea.

No, that's not today.

That's not today.

No, because we recorded last night.

So I was like, I hope that David didn't pull an all-nighter.

No.

Today is

the rave party.

Yeah, that's right.

That's right.

That's right.

That's right.

Okay, yeah.

So it's next week.

Anyway,

we do a lot of episodes.

We have a lot of D ⁇ D going on.

I was thinking about how yesterday that, so the episode we recorded,

we're getting ahead.

So what came out last week, I realized I was like, it's my fiancé and Blaine's girlfriend who are evil and they're against us.

And I'm like, you two are conspiring.

That's how it works.

Speaking of all of this D ⁇ D we have going on.

We're going to do our favorite between the tales activity where one of you, whoever wants to, can try to accurately and succinctly recall the previous arc in only 90 seconds.

Who wants to give it a shot?

I think it's got to be Barbara because it's the vampspire.

Yeah, Chris, I think you tried it last time.

So I'm going to give Barbara a shot first.

He did raise his hand first.

All right.

Okay.

Okay.

Well, I.

Set a timer for 90 seconds.

Someone go.

I'll go.

All right.

So we make our way to Vania, and we are stopped by Sferatsu, who appear and tell us that we need to uh make an oath but before that happens uh Elga reveals to the party that she is a vampire where Barney does not react very well um and then we have to do that oath to get into Vania Barney pretends to do it and then eventually has to do it which takes a while 60 seconds

and then we come in and then we do some shopping around town and there's also like a protest happening out in the streets people protesting Dracula saying that he's making making rules that people he doesn't even follow himself.

And then we eventually get into the vampire

by saying Stoker, which we figured out was the password.

And then we meet a painter who has a key, and we use that key again all sorts of places.

And we find battlers, our people who serve

the vampires.

And then we meet Quiffley, who is Elga's little helper guy.

And then we

eventually make our way through places.

We meet Hoofer,

who is on a farm, and then

details.

And then we find Elga's place and realize that it's been all like messed up.

And there's a book with a page missing.

And then we find out that her mother has returned and her sister's there and she's being weird.

And also, her dad is Hugo, and he's evil.

That's quite a bit.

There's a lot to get through.

Anyone want to try to hop in with another 90 seconds?

Oh, Chris, you go for it.

Finish it up.

I got one comment about how Barbara did a very good job of summarizing, but she did the thing that we all do when we're like writing a message on a piece of paper where you write the letters way too big at the beginning of it.

And then you get to the end of the paper.

You're like, have you forgotten?

90 seconds feels like it should be longer than that.

I know.

You got to like 30 seconds and you weren't even past the oath yet.

All right, Chris, give it a shot.

Chris, go.

I have a question.

Do you want me to start from, do you want me to fill in the holes that Barb left or start from the beginning?

Start from where Barb stopped.

Okay, go.

Barb, one thing Barb forgot was

in the while running around the ramps by we ran into some

battlers who were Barney's family as wife and two kids.

They do not recognize him, have no memory of him, and then they ran off.

And then they chased after them, quickly helped us get up to the

Elga's place.

It was all ransacked.

There was weird writing on the walls

and a secret thing

in the floor.

Then

there's also the wolfman's daughter.

We found her caged up.

Oh, yeah.

That was when she ran off.

Her name.

I don't want to look right now.

Then

ran up, found, there was a meeting of all the empires.

They announced that Elga's dad was going to be persecuted or trial.

They met Elga's mom and sister, and then sister betrayed us, tried to get us turned into the

bad guys.

Then we go,

we

trick them and then say we're fine.

And then we go up and we explore.

We find

Eddie.

Then Eddie, we go through.

Bird steals some

money from bad guys.

And then

we find out vampire Dracula is

knows

I'm freaking out.

Elga, Elga, maybe in Barney is dad, mom, sister,

daughter.

Chris, why can't your turns go that fast?

Yeah, I mean, you got a lot of it.

Y'all did

get quite a bit.

I know, Doll.

I'm going to go over some real broad strokes just to fill in some details from the beginning.

So, just, you know, the arc started with you guys investigating Carol's death.

That's when you, you know, you cured the alchemist, you received mail from Skipper, got visions from Gigi, like Barbara said, you went, did the Vanian vows.

To flesh it out a little more, the mob, or I should say the protesters were Francesca, the mummy, and Hexel, who were protesting, and you stopped the mob from attacking them.

Specifically, you shopped at Lowe's Hanging Fruit, Oldenwares, Marin's Mantelry, and Vaneyard Valhera.

Then you came into the Vampspire, you went into the Tails of the Dock, which is a lower level.

You met Graft a painter, went to the workshop, the coffin, with the secret room, with the library.

You freed some animals, took some bodies from the bestiary, you visited the commissary, you ended up at the Squiery, where you found Quiffley.

You You saw visions at the squiery.

You banished Hooper, the giant goat in the refusary, sent some mail at the aviary, gained access to and shopped at the dregs, rescued Barney's family from some Sferatu, then they ran away.

Entered the Claustre, explored Elga's home, found Benicia, the wolfman's daughter, explored more of Claustrad, entered the Triclinium, encountered Elga's mom, Countess von Braath.

You listened to the Sferatu announcements about Count Von Brah's arrest, returned to Elga's home, interacted with the Countess Quifly and Ivena, played hide and seek.

Then you encountered some Sferatu who are looking for you guys, fought with them a little bit, ascended to the thing pic

it's it's scary isn't it went into the sepulchre uh you found a disguised eddie went to the sylvern where you talked with count von broth went to the belfry where you talked with dracula then uh oh you also went to the capillary then returned to the capillary kept playing hide and sink with uh spheratu felt a tremor then you had your combat with or so your encounter in the capillary against eddy cap von broth misferatu big earthquake vampire started followed so yeah the dm council has deemed that the reward will go to Elga

for performance in the recap.

I panicked.

Some polite golf clapping.

Elga, you gain honed, which allows you to gain proficiency in one skill that you aren't already proficient in.

Wow.

If you look at your character sheet, you see all of your skills in the middle there.

The ones that you're proficient in have the black dot to the left of them.

So honed will allow you to just click an empty dot and put a black dot in it oh

so metagame wise well this is all metagame it allows you to um add your proficiency bonus into your role

okay

so for example your first one there is animal handling it has a plus one by default when if you enable it you would also add your proficiency bonus so it would be a plus four oh okay so choose one yeah what you gonna go with i think i'm gonna go for investigation oh that makes sense i feel like i've been doing a lot of that although i am i do have advantage on that.

That's what I was going to say.

You already have advantage on that role.

So maybe

history?

I don't know.

We don't use history often.

Not to.

I feel like I don't use a lot of these very often.

Not the dunk on history.

You can't go wrong with perception.

Yeah.

Well, she already has advantage.

I'm sorry, proficiency in perception.

The counter-argument to you don't use history very often would be like, maybe you don't use it because you're not proficient in it.

Maybe if you were proficient in it, it would be something that would come up more often.

I'm trying to think of of like what's gonna be useful for this next arc.

Well, history, maybe

medicine.

What do we think?

I mean, persuasion?

Yeah, persuasion's not bad.

I'll do persuasion.

That's a good universal check.

Speaking of Chip being down, I guess we should pick up where we left off.

So, yeah, like I said, Hugo's muttering, and you can hear it in your brains.

Chip, I guess, you're dreaming of this.

Yep.

My, my, this certainly

It's so lovely to be surrounded by old friends, isn't it, Barney?

Do you remember how rude you were to me when we first met?

Here I was, simply asking you for directions, and you said ne'er a word.

But that's alright.

Your family was much more amiable.

Oh, and talk about attentive.

For years, they've been waiting on my every beck and call.

And the deed, it's so good to see you again.

Or see through you again.

Oh, I'm just teasing, my feathered friend.

Besides, we both know what trouble that nosy beak of yours got you in last time we met.

Talk about a grave mistake, hmm?

Then there's Elga.

Sweet, innocent little Elga.

I'm so glad it was me who got to inject some feigned fury into that frilly demeanor of yours.

Who knew such a kind little girl was born to be a vicious vampire?

Or I suppose a reborn would be more apt.

Looks at Chip.

And then...

Hmm.

I don't think we've officially met, but I'm a huge fan of your wife's work.

Oh, sorry.

Late wife, isn't it?

My mistake.

Once again, you feel your feet jostle as the entire tower begins to quake and rumble.

What's going on?

Bro, there's way too much lore that just dropped out of the train.

Then, with a crack, the floor splits in half, like a seam on a tattered tunic.

Everyone make a dexterity saving throw.

How about Chip's corpse?

Does he make a dexterity saving throw?

No, no.

I have advantage on deck saving throws.

Yep, you get it.

Okay.

Great.

So when you pass yours, can you grab my body before it falls into the crevice?

I should.

Sure, but.

Is any allies near me with M5 feet?

Chip?

I rolled an 18 on them.

Okay.

26.

Nice.

13.

I don't roll, right?

No, you don't.

You're already on the ground, so it's fine.

Your body just goes freaking.

Elga, you look down and see your silver locket is shattered into pieces as it falls to the ground.

It must have fallen from your pack.

You see the picture inside has fallen out on the ground, but it's a different picture.

You look closer and see you in a family portrait, but it's not your family.

You're standing next to a strapping Elven woman, two boys wrestling with each other, and you're looking up, smiling at a balding man wearing glasses.

While you're looking down, Elga, Eddie charges straight at you, ramming into you.

And make me a dexterity saving throw.

Me?

Yeah.

With advantage?

Yes.

There you go.

You roll pretty well.

You're expecting it, but it still kind of throws you off your feet a little bit with the ground shaking and everything.

And you begin falling off of the ledge into the fissured floor, but at the last second, you're able to definitely grab the crumbling ledge.

And as you dangle on the verge of falling, a pale hand reaches out over the edge.

Here, take hold of my hand.

I shall pull you to safety.

You look past the hand and see a sneering Hugo wearing a black top hat and a a red ascot.

Whew,

I just got some deja vu.

A sinking feeling plummets in your stomach, like you've been in this situation before.

And with a rumble, the entire vampspire shakes violently, and the stone walls begin to crack and buckle under the tremendous pressure.

And before you know it, the whole tower starts to fall over with all of you inside.

The vampspire is crumbling all around you.

You all must escape the falling vampspire by descending, avoiding pitfalls and any obstacles that you may encounter along the way, I guess while lugging Chip Haney along with you, question mark.

It'll feel so good, gang!

Oh, and that's right, Elga is currently hanging off of a ledge as well after being shoved by Barney.

Not by Barney, by Eddie.

I was like,

Do I, by the way, see that locket on the ground?

It's shattered.

Well, it kind of like broke and the picture popped out.

It is still there.

Yeah, like on the ground close to the ledge where you are.

Can I just grab it and pocket it?

Yes, but you are still hanging.

So you'd be like,

you might want to try to find a way to clamber yourself up first and then grab it.

Okay, I'll try to climb myself up.

Yeah, go ahead and make me a strength check.

You're stronger now.

I'm stronger.

Stronger.

20, 30, 20.

Yeah, you're able to heave yourself up over the ledge, and you see the locket there.

And I assume you want to go ahead and pocket that locket.

Yeah, pocket the locket.

Pocket that locket.

That sounds like a cool dance move.

Pocket that locket.

Pocket and lock it.

Pocket that locket.

Speaking of cool dance moves, let's everyone roll initiative just so we have a little bit of order in what we're going to be doing here.

Just speaks volumes that Gus thinks dancing is like fighting.

17, 20, 13, 11.

Pocket that locket.

A pocket.

A locket.

Lock it.

Lock it.

Lock it.

the system is down so chip has a 17 elga has a 13 mate has 11 and barney has 20.

one thing that we forgot to add in the the recap was that elga bequeathed the cool fang frost to chip and oh yeah that's right it was a very cool moment

and then he had a good day

He had a great day and didn't hurt himself at all.

No.

We talked about that in the second one episode.

Yeah.

Did you tell him that I bribed you behind the scenes?

How is she supposed to be nice?

Check your Venmo.

Elga's mom in quotes, what is her status right now?

She's currently unconscious.

So yeah, that's an excellent question.

Chris, besides the party, there is also Hugo, Eddie, and the Countess up here, as well as various Sferatu.

And what is their status?

They seem to be looking around.

Hugo had the highest initiative role, so he begins making a break for it, running out, trying to escape the vamp spy.

Next up is Barney after Barney is chip.

I'm going to start with, um, I'm going to cast, it's a new spell, aura of life.

It's one action, and life-preserving energy radiates from you in an aura with a 30-foot radius until the spell ends.

Aura moves with you, sitting on you.

Each non-hostile creature in the area, including you, has resistance to necrotic damage, and its hit points maximum can't be reduced.

In addition, a non-hostile living creature gains one hit points when it starts its turn in the aura with zero hit points.

Okay, so it makes everyone around you resistant to crotic and gives them one hit point at the start of their turn, if they're at zero.

Yeah, there's probably a better spell I could have cast, but that's what I got.

It's gonna at least get me on my feet.

And everyone, anyone, anyone around who's non-hostile gets back alive.

I see.

So, yeah, in theory, then, if the countess starts her turn in that as well, yeah, and stinker.

Oh, yeah.

So, stinker acts acts on your turn, so then Stinker would be up right now.

That's okay.

Anything else you want to do, Barney?

So Hugo is

attempting to leave, right?

Yes, he is making a B-line for the door.

I'm going to use my bonus.

Well,

would he take an attack of opportunity from us by leaving us?

Or are we out of combat combat?

I'd say we're probably out of combat combat.

And Hugo has, just for to build the world and to build out the description a little better, Hugo has taken to the air and is flying out.

Huh.

What does he fly like?

Is he like a like?

So he's a bat man?

Like a vampire.

So he turned into a bat?

No, like a vampire.

Vampires fly.

Do they really?

Yeah.

I thought they had to turn into bats.

No.

They can do that.

So the spatially, are we

trying to go down the tower?

Unless you know a better way to get out of here.

But T is thrilled to warp through a wall to leave us.

Because I could do my, I could go fly for one minute.

I will say, just as an FYI follow-up to that spell you cast, people have to start their turn within 30 feet of you if they want to pop back up from zero.

So Chip is still on the ground until his turn.

Yeah.

And will remain on the ground if you go further than 30 feet away from him.

Can I pick up Chip?

Does that count as an action?

Normally, yeah, but I'll give it to you as a bonus.

A generous deal.

Well, I guess I don't need to if he starts right after me.

I was just thinking about if I was to fly away.

I'll use my telekinetic shove to pull back Hugo and try and pull him back five feet towards us so he doesn't escape.

Just being real annoying to him, keeping him

within range.

Yeah.

So he has to make a strength-saving throw.

What's the DC on it?

17.

All right.

He is pretty strong.

Oh,

I rolled the die and did that thing where it was on 17 and then it clicked over and fell and went to a seven.

Yeah, he fails the save.

All right, so I pull him back five feet.

He turns and bears his fangs and hisses at you.

Barney will, I guess, pick up or try and move towards the others that are injured so he's in the around them so they can all heal.

Okay, and is that it?

Yeah.

Okay, Chip, it's your turn after Chip is Eddie, Countess, Elka.

Chip, you wake up from your little snoozy time.

You have one hit point now, and much to your surprise, the entire vampspire is shaking and falling all around you okay that doesn't stop the fact that i hate eddie and i want him to die so is he around is he in eyesight yeah he's fairly close to you still he hasn't acted yet okay

and barney's picking me up or am i still on the ground you're still on the ground got you still on the ground how far away is eddie probably 10 feet or so i would say i would guess okay ah what the heck i'm gonna use the arm blade of blurbling i'm just gonna give him a little stab a little cut can you reach 10 feet away Am I still prone?

Yeah, you're laying on the ground.

Okay, I'm just gonna then in order to get up by movement.

Yeah, I'm just gonna shoot him with a with one of this the crossbows then with my crossbow but you

23 believe it or not.

That's a hip.

Believe it or not, I'm killing this dude.

Seven.

Ouch damage.

Yeah, your crossbow flies through striking Eddie in the shoulder for seven points of damage.

And then he dies?

He looks at it and then makes a sad face to you.

Oh.

He probably has like a 600 HP.

We've gotten down pretty far.

Y'all put some hurt on him in that last episode.

Yeah, yeah.

Okay.

Well, then I rise, because this is all just from the ground.

As soon as I got HP back, I looked up, looked for Eddie, shot him.

Rise from your grave.

Call the ambulance, but not for me.

I love that meme.

And then, because I have no movement, I mean, that's pretty much.

it but uh i i cast a really mean glare at eddie oh i'm getting a correction here thank you micah it only takes half your movement to get up So if you want to retcon that, you could actually have struck him with your armblade.

No, I think it's actually kind of cooler that I like, the thing, the first thing I do when I wake up is just pull my crossbow and sing to the shit.

It'd be funny or he accidentally hit someone else.

It like tings off of something and hits him back in the head.

But I also recognize when like I'm not doing well, so I'm going to move towards Barney.

Okay.

The protection of Barney Farney.

And that's my turn.

All right.

That is Chip.

It's Eddie's turn.

Eddie is also going to book it and start running for the exit, kind of ignoring you guys.

Yeah, you run away.

You go, you hide.

You

baby.

Would we get a chance to jab?

You already used the reaction, right?

Not my reaction.

I thought you'd made an attack of opportunity on Hugo, didn't you?

Or am I remembering that?

That's my bonus action.

Yeah.

I'm sorry.

I thought, I thought when...

Oh, right, because he was flying.

That's right.

Okay, yeah.

My bad.

I got a lot going on.

Yeah.

I don't think story-wise they're ever going to let us kill Eddie here.

Yeah, Eddie starts running by and you...

How are you going to attack him, Chris?

Old faithful war hammer slash walker.

Walker hammer.

Yeah, you rear back with your walker hammer to take a swing at Eddie.

And as you do so, a swarm of bats descends out from the room and begins fluttering around everywhere.

So you can make the attack roll, but make it at a disadvantage.

It seems like they're trying to escape from the Vamp Spire as well.

This is the new bell.

Eat the bats

pausy metagame perspective there's going to be weird obstacles every now and then as the vampspire is collapsing and i rolled on the table and this is the one that's happening right now it's just bad it's just bad luck on the tiny yep that was 12.

yeah that's a miss okay you got bad in your eye

guano all right yeah so then uh the uh you got bad in your eye and miss and eddie continues making a break for the door it's the countess's turn she wakes up i guess she has one one hit point now.

And she's a little woozy and gets to her feet and looks around and sees what's going on.

And she makes a beeline for Elga to make sure Elga's okay.

Elga, you're up.

And then after you is Matif.

Okay, so I'm like just off the edge of where this thing was collapsing.

Right, and you've picked up your locket and the Countess is there with you.

Okay.

And I see Eddie running away.

Eddie is running away.

Hugo's flying away.

They're both making a beeline to the door.

Okay.

Well, I will rage.

Or would I still be raging from last time?

You probably would, yeah.

This is just like a continuation.

Right, because we just fell.

Okay, so I'm going to use my bat hole axe.

Okay.

How far is Eddie from me now?

He's making a break for the door.

Oh, he actually is the one who shoved you down, then took off running from there.

So I'd say he's probably about, from where you are, about 30 feet.

Okay, I'm going to run up to him to go maybe five feet away from him so that my axe could still reach.

Okay.

Yeah, you're able to catch up.

And I'm going to attack him with my battle axe.

I am

going to miss because that was a 12.

Yep, no good.

And I'm going to attack again.

Alright.

That was like a batter going up to base and he was like practicing a swing.

You gotta take the weights off of the battle axe to get the true weight, the true feel for it.

I'm rolling so bad.

I rolled a 16.

A 16 does hit.

It does.

Okay, cool.

Yeah.

And that does

eight points plus three with my new level up raging bonus.

Ooh.

So that would be an 11 points of damage.

And then, I know this is kind of redundant, but I'm going to use a bonus action to do bat barrage on Eddie.

You just use the bats that are already there.

Yeah, you redirect them.

You like have those lights like with the flashlights that are illuminated.

You like point like a plane.

You're directing them.

So for this one, I could use a bonus action to speak a command word.

The battle axe transforms into a swarm of bats that attacks the target for up to one minute.

When the swarm is killed or if the target is killed, the swarm turns back into a battle axe and falls to the ground.

Okay, so what is Elga's command word for summoning the bats?

For my command word, I'm gonna say mmm bats.

So, yes, he gets now swarmed with more bats.

All right, yeah.

If they're attacking the target, do they go when I go, or is that like at the end of the initiative?

They go when you go.

Hey, you know that thing?

It's called murmuration?

You know, where birds and flying creatures all kind of do those cool...

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

I bet that happens with like every bat in the whole thing follows Elga's bats.

So she gets quite double damage.

I think that that happens.

I also like to believe, you know how like...

You're thinking of like also when drones come together to make like a light show.

Have you ever seen that before?

This is like like they're making a giant axe in the shape of

a loony tune spit.

Yeah, that's the most loony tune thing ever.

Yeah.

They're circling Eddie and he's swatting at him and he looks at you and says, Elga, you're driving me,

Batty.

This is no time for jokes, Eddie.

You're going down.

You're going to be killed by these bats.

He is going down indeed because the bats swarm him and he falls to the ground, unmoving.

What?

Then your swarm of bats reconvene into your bat tolaxe and it clatters to the ground.

I don't want to get too excited because this is the third time we've downed Eddie and then he keeps coming back.

Well, I'm also confused because it says if the target is killed, the swarm turns back into a battle axe.

So does that mean we killed him?

Your battle axe is on the ground there.

All right.

We killed him.

Between the tails.

Hey, other deaths have happened.

That's true.

Bear.

Okay, well, that is, I guess I'll use the rest of my movement to go pick up the axe.

Yeah, and the countess, you know, is staying by your side and says, hurry, let's run for the exit.

Everyone roll me a dexterity saving throw.

With pleasure.

24.

Mine has advantages.

Doesn't matter.

A nine.

28.

That's a 14 for Barney, but also plus two to...

Is Elga near me now?

Would she get plus two?

Yes, yes.

I don't know if it matters.

Oh, no.

That would make me an 11.

24 for Chip, 11 for Elga, 28 for Mateed, 14 for Barney.

So Barney and Elga, well, I guess all of you, the floor starts shaking again violently beneath your feet.

Barney and Elga, you stumble, you're knocked off of your off of your feet, you stumble down to your knees.

The floor begins crumbling out from under you, and once again, everyone's in danger of falling in, but you manage to save yourselves.

However, Eddie falls into the chasm that is now opened into fresh vision.

I knew it.

It was too good for me.

Countess, Elga, Mateed.

Cool.

Could I grab a chip?

Yeah, we can do a little chipmunk action.

Chipmunk!

Activate!

I feel like the

dude at one health point could use some assistance.

I don't remember at all where I was on the map.

I think I was fighting some Sferatu.

Yes.

Kind of in the center of the capillary.

So how far to

estimated wise to pick up a chip?

Chip wasn't too far from me.

He was a little to the north doing combat near the dais.

He was probably 20 feet away.

Okay.

I'll fly up to chip and I'll just go up to him and I go, Bonjour, your Uber is here.

Is that an Uberd?

Uberd.

Yeah, your Uberd is here.

I pick him up, and if I double move, I can fly 65, so a total of 130.

So 130 minus 20 is 110, so I can fly 110.

That, I would assume, gets us out of the building.

Yeah, you go 20 up, 20 back, 90 more.

That takes you out of the capillary, which is that temple area you're in back into like the main level of the thing pic actually with that much movement you could get back to the stairwell leading back down to the clostred and and i know i'm a passenger i know i don't have a say but could we just kind of take a small detour over the chasm that eddie fell down so i could spit into it

that's all i asked that's all i asked yeah yeah yeah

thank you i was gonna ask you what it sounded like yeah that works for me you are at the very top of the stairs leading down to the clostrid from the thing pic Yeah, I'm going to get away from this giant tower that is collapsing on us.

I feel like that's what will kill us.

That is such a smart move.

Yeah.

And then as a bonus action, I'm actually going to, I'm going to do something.

I'm going to drop chip off gently to the ground.

I'm not like flying high and we're like in a stairwell, so it's not like I can go very high.

And I'm going to cast Astral Leap, which basically means I go to Astralia till the beginning of my next turn.

Whoa, so it's like, might.

There is a check if I can do it successfully.

Roll a D20 on a roll 11 or higher, I go.

Okay, yeah, go for it.

Yeah, it's just casting time is bonus action, and it lasts for a minute, and I can do this check every time I have a turn for a minute.

So either Mate is gonna go to Australia to beat up Avina, or Avina is gonna warp back into a crumbling tower and die.

No, she stays.

Banishment holds because it's not a, I'm not doing a concentration spell.

But the person banished eventually comes back unless they're banished to their home plane.

Right.

She doesn't come back for a minute.

Right.

Not immediately, just at some point.

And I just cast that last turn.

Yeah.

So she'll come back right before this spell ends.

Yeah, I rolled a 19.

So basically visually, I go and grab a chip, take him to the stairwell, drop him off, give him a little wink, and then disappear from existence.

Bye-bye.

Mati just goes.

There's like a popping sound.

And Matias.

The way that the Astro Leap works is I can see what's happening in the real realm.

It's all like like shadows.

You're in the upside down.

I'm in the upside down.

I'm where Frodo goes when he puts the ring on.

That's a better reference.

I'm going to make a note here.

Avina gets to take a turn now.

Boom.

But she's not back yet, right?

No, but she's in Australia, where Matita is now.

Is she going to come back with

a cocktail and one of those lay necklaces?

Even though they wanted to do that in Australia, but still.

Unless she can travel 120 feet in her action, she can't catch up to us, so I'm fine.

Yeah.

She's going to just get a brick dropped on her.

She'll probably just be confused most of her turn.

All right, is that it for you, Mateed?

Yes.

Okay, back up to the top.

It's Hugo who continues his flying escape from the crumbling vampire.

Barney, it's your turn after Barney is chip.

Everyone's gotten up.

So, and he's going to try and summon a celestial.

This is a fifth level spell.

It's powerful.

Yeah, and it lasts for one hour.

You call forth the celestial spirit.

It manifests in an angelic form in an unoccupied space that you can see within range.

The corporeal form uses celestial spirit stat block.

When you cast a spell, choose Avenger or Defender.

Your choice determines the creature's attack and its stat block.

The creature disappears when it drops zero hit points.

Creature is an ally to you and your companions.

I'll choose the defender.

And I think you mentioned it.

You know, I just want to clarify.

Your concentration drops to cast this.

So, like, your aura of life goes away.

Yeah, yeah, and it's a large creature and it has flying.

And so I'm saying, everyone hop on

because it's a large creature, so I imagine it can like support it's pretty big, yeah.

Large creatures are big.

I don't know if it could support everyone, but we can deal with that when we get there.

Does it have a description?

It's just a celestial spirit that manifests in an angelic form.

So I think, Chris, why don't you describe?

What does it look like?

How do you picture that?

I imagine it will take the shape of falcar the luck dragon or or if we want to keep it with within our ip a large purple worm a lot

oh hold on

smursh

smoosh so yeah and then that that's my action and then i'll hop on it and try and get i don't know like uh you're gonna start making the rounds Yeah, yeah.

And then with my bonus action, I'll also cast a healing for poor Chip.

Well, how far away is Chip right now from me?

Chip is far.

chip is actually really far chip's not in the capillary anymore he's down at the top of the staircase going down to the clostro okay maybe i can't do that then i absconded

yeah i'll get me and stinker up on it and then i it it can fly so i i can i can have it it like go and pick up the others yeah in the start uh going around they have to get on on their turn though well can it pick them up on its turn the celestial spirit i would say it can maybe pick one up because it's like an action Okay.

Then I guess it would go and I guess pick up Elga if Elga's willing.

Sure.

All right.

Yeah.

You can fly over and pick Elga up.

I feel like there's still a lot to do here.

Well, yeah, I'm just trying to get out of the thing.

And then for

Elga's mom, or mom, I keep doing the quotes.

Can I use my telekinetic shove to pull her up onto the celestial spirit?

You could shove her, but I don't think you could pull her onto the celestial being.

Okay, well then I won't do that.

Yeah, I'm just trying to get everyone rounded up.

Sometimes you can't do everything you want.

Yeah, all right.

Well, then I'll just end my turn.

Okay, once again, as you're doing that, the ground starts shaking violently.

Those of you who are still on the ground, this doesn't affect Matib, this doesn't affect Barney, and it doesn't affect Elga.

It only affects Chip.

Chip, roll me a dexterity saving throw.

Oh, easy.

That's a

eight.

Um, hold on.

I have uh in my inventory my cool, cool shoes, which uh these shoes have three charges and regain 1d3 expended charges daily at dawn.

When you fail a dexterity saving throw while wearing it, you can use your reaction to expend one of its charges to succeed on the saving throw instead.

So I'm gonna do that.

Oh, I will say it's very lucky for you because with all of the shaking going on, you know, you're focused on trying to maintain your footing, and then something in the back of your mind tingles, and you look up just in time to dodge out of the way from large chunks of stone and rubble that land crushing immediately where you were just a split second ago.

You've been bed, Chip.

Again!

And just as a heads up, some of these, like that dexterity saving throw and some of these lair actions, they're on a timer.

So the longer the turns take, the more often these negative effects are going to happen.

So try to optimize the turns so we can go through this with

less saves and less possibility for death.

Okay, that was Barney Chip is Europe.

After Chip is the Countess and Elga.

Do I have an eye on Elga's quote-unquote dad?

He's gone.

Okay.

Yeah, he's flying and he's escaping.

Then I'm already at the staircase, then I can just start continuing to make my way down.

Does that seem like the most plausible exit?

That's the only one you're aware of.

That's how you came up.

Okay, then I'll double move to just make as much progress to get out of there as possible.

I want to get out of the vampire.

Stat!

Okay, yeah, you run down the stairs, emerging on the cluster.

I'm adding noises.

Here you go.

And as you come around the corner, you know, coming out onto the claustrad, the second level of the vampire, you see Benicia backed into a corner surrounded by two Sferatu.

Oh, Benicia's still here.

Okay, then I take back my double movement, unless that double movement was what got me to that point.

You just need one to get down.

Okay, then I'm gonna surprise attack one of them to help.

I'm assuming she's in danger.

She's been cornered.

Yes.

Wow, she didn't make it very far, did she?

Wait, do a perception check.

Maybe they're shoving money in her face.

This has happened.

You have advantage on attack rolls against any creature that hasn't taken a turn in combat yet, and any hit you score against the creature that is surprised is a critical hit.

So that's the assassinate.

So I'm gonna do it.

I guess do that.

And I'm gonna hit him with my arm blade of the blurbling.

Watch out.

Is it 13 hit?

Wait, I have advantage, right?

I was about to say that.

Yeah.

Okay.

Watch out.

24 hit.

That hit that does hit.

Okay, that's a

five on piercing, plus

the arm blade of Blurbling has 14 acid damage.

Watch out!

One.

You also get a sneak dice on this, don't you?

That's...

I was getting to that.

Yes.

Gosh, you got to give him a chance.

Sorry, I'm just stepping all over your turn, telling you what to do.

And because I'm level 9 now, I think I get an additional dice.

So once per turn, you can deal an extra 5d6 damage to one creature.

It's a good thing you remember, Blaine.

Yeah, I know.

Wow.

I'm on top of it today, guys.

15.

Okay, so that's 15, 16, 21 points of damage.

Step, step, step, step, step.

Yeah.

You come up behind the Sferatu, and it never knows you're there as you drop it to the ground and it falls unmoving.

Its friend turns shocked in horror.

And I go, Oogity Boogity!

She's causing this earthquake!

Escape now or I will eat you!

Make an intimidation check.

Oh god, geez.

You have a plus 12 and you rolled a one.

Any other thing I would have passed that with flying colors.

I would say you probably have advantage on that because it is a little scared right now.

Because I just dropped his friend.

Okay.

Perfect.

Well, it's also 25.

The ground is shaking.

Yeah, it just turns around and books it and starts running away, leaving you and Benicia there.

Ah!

And then I...

What does she do?

She's in the corner.

She's equally as afraid of me because of our earlier encounter.

I help her to her feet and I say, well, you didn't make it for her there, did you?

We got to get out.

We got to hightail it out of here.

Let's go, Benicia.

Yeah, she agrees.

She's ready to go.

Something about when Chip says the word go in earnest, it's the best.

Go.

Oh!

Benicia!

Are you injured?

Do you need a piggyback ride?

I will never say no to a piggyback ride.

Hop on, let's just go.

Let's just get us answered.

Let's go.

You could say no for this piggyback ride, I think.

Oh, yeah, so now we got...

Zach Us or Benicia.

That was Benicia.

Sure.

She's down for a piggyback ride.

All right, so you begin giving a piggyback ride to Benicia.

It's the Countess's turn.

You made it clear she could get on as well, right, Barney?

Yeah.

Yeah, she's going to run over and hop on behind Elka on the Celestial, which means it's Elka's turn.

Okay, so I'm riding this thing with Barney and my mom.

Yeah.

Your mom.

My mom.

Question mark.

Listen, adoptive moms are still moms.

We don't have to put quotes over it.

Oh, that's a fair point, John.

You're right.

I guess, but also, didn't she abandon Tinaway?

That's a fair point, Chris.

I also don't know the full story to that.

I think that's a fair point, Barbara.

A lot of, there's been a lot of lies and misconceptions

happening here.

Very true.

Also,

she seems to be the only one protecting me in this room full of my quote-unquote family.

I just made an angel.

Is there anything I need to do?

Because, like, if I'm on this thing that's headed out, right, is it heading somewhere?

Yeah, I mean, it's gotta, I gotta wait for its turn, which was its turn, but it's during my turn, and then it can fly.

Because, like, who else is attacking us right now?

Right now, no one's attacking you.

I think everyone's trying to make a break for the exits to try to get out of the vampspire.

Make sure you attack somebody so your rage stays.

If you get hit by somebody, you take half damage.

That's a good point.

Were there any counts that were there that you didn't like during childhood that you might want to get some revenge on?

I did say there were various Sferatu also who were running around trying to escape.

You got a projectile?

If there's a Sferati, could I throw my axe of the Scarab at it?

Sure.

It's like a boomerang version.

Yeah.

Okay.

Did you get that in Australia?

I don't know where it is.

No, I think that was it before.

Yeah, that was like Carcassoop.

Yeah.

15.

That actually does hit Asfratu.

Okay, cool.

Doing twing-o-swing, 10 plus 13 points of damage.

Yeah, you toss your axe of the scarab and it goes and maims Asfratu as it's running out.

It looks at you and just mouths, why?

And it keeps running.

I'm sorry, but you guys were attacking us, so just, you know, fair is fair.

I'm just trying to run away.

You just want to play hide and seek.

Oh, he's the hide and seek one thing.

I think I'm just gonna stay on this creature that's taking us hopefully to safety.

You got it

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All right.

It's Avina's turn.

Only Mateed would see this, because only Mateed is the one in Australia.

But you do see Arvina there or Veina there.

She's just laying there unconscious though.

Kick her.

Kick her while she's down.

Well, Mate, it is your turn.

I think my turn ends or begins with me returning back.

But I do get actually, just to add to the OP-ness of Mate's movement, it actually, I can appear 10 feet from where I left, so I get 10 more feet of distance.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

At the start of your next turn, and when the spell ends, you appear 10 feet.

So yeah, yeah, it is the start of my thing.

So, I get to see her.

I just go, heh, and I return back to the regular plane.

And I guess I just do another booket.

Let's start off with, like, I've gone 10 feet.

Take me another 65 feet.

And what do I see, Gustavus the Roland?

You go down the stairs and you see Chip running past you with Benicia on his back, running down the hallway in the claustrad.

Oh my god, we got a boogie!

Chip's being attacked by Benicia.

I attack Benicia.

Just kidding.

Just kidding.

Just kidding.

That's funny.

I'm like, don't do it.

Yeah, they're fine then.

He's got his own little buddy now.

We're following the buddy system.

I got my buddies, little kitty in my hoodie.

So yeah, if I go 65 feet, where's that take me?

Yeah, you remember the claw stread was like that spiraling hallway that went up when you were going up.

So that's a spiral, you're running down a spiraling hallway going down.

You know, you start running past the hall or running down the hallway and you run past the door that you found

behind, you know, all the different doors that you explored and didn't explore.

What about the door that I went in and had a conversation with Vixie's partner?

Oh, that was the very first door.

So that would be at the very, like right before you'd leave the clustre.

Yeah.

So you're not quite that far.

What if I double move?

If you double move, yeah, you could probably get there.

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, I mean, you would find there, and you could get to the door of Vixie's house.

Okay.

What were you trying to move?

Aspirus.

Was there something in there that you wanted?

No.

Bunny.

John looks so mischievous right now.

Anyone on the ground, which I think is Chip and maybe Mate, make me a dexterity saving throw.

Uh-oh.

I'm not on the ground.

I'm floating.

I'm flying.

This is all flying because that's the way I get this speed.

Oh, true.

I can't walk at this rate.

I rolled a nine, so I'm going to use my last charge for my sneakers of lost souls for the sidestep of second chances.

Canonically, can that be like the pumps on like old sneakers that use

shit?

Yeah, yeah.

And you're

told you to hurry your turns up because if I fail another one, I'm gonna die.

So, once again, your spidey senses go off and you dodge out of some rubble and furniture that's falling from above chip.

But, Mateed, as you're going down the hallway, as you make one of the turns, you come across a mob of battlers and Sferatu fighting over a chest that spilled Humo pieces all over the floor.

How do I interject myself into this profitable situation?

It's a brawl.

You're gonna have to get in there and start throwing elbows and

told me I was a monk that was meant to brawl in close combat situations.

Darn.

Okay,

does that happen before or after I do my double movement?

I would say before the double movement.

Okay.

Thank you.

That's why I kept trying to egg to see if my full movement would come to like a benicia moment like what Chip had.

For the record, it's just because the timer went off right now that

happens right now.

Then I get in there.

And I mean, I don't have the visual idea of what's going on, but I would imagine that Mateed would do whatever they can to make their way into the middle of it all and just shove as many of those pieces as possible into their little pouch.

Let's do this.

Make a strength check to see if you're able to shove people out of the way.

Strength check.

Ooh, that's not good.

That's only a nine.

Yeah, you tried, but they're they're like, everyone's really, you know, low to the ground and they're, you know, crawling around, clamoring over all of these hemo pieces.

You're not able to pull any of them off.

Okay, that's fair.

Then what if this is what happens?

What if I roll my d20 now and see if I get into the Australian plane, which would then give me 10 feet of unhindered movement to appear next to the hemo pieces my next turn?

Sure, but as a reminder, distance in Australia and the material plane doesn't map one to one.

But the way that my spell works is I appear.

I appear 10 feet.

I don't move there.

I can appear 10 feet from it.

We could do that.

Chip turns to Benici and says, we're going to die.

Don't worry, I won't be able to pay for your magical bills.

I rolled an 11, so I go to the Australian play.

Yeah, we're going to resolve that on your next turn.

Okay, that is Mateed.

Barney, it's your turn after Barney's chip.

All right, so this celestial spirit can fly 40 feet.

So

I guess go towards...

I don't know if it makes sense to like leave the build, like fly out of the building or like follow down it.

How would you fly out of the building?

I don't know.

You said it was like falling apart, so I don't know if there's like openings.

No, there's currently no space, especially because this is a large being.

It's really big.

So then it'll fly everyone as far as it can out, which would be, I guess, if it double moves 80.

80.

So yeah, so you make your way.

You are down now at the beginning of the claustrap, the the second floor, where Chip first encountered Benicia.

And then yeah, you can hear a ruckus down the hallway of like people shouting and yelling.

And did we see Chip at this point?

Yeah, actually, you would see Chip.

He hasn't really started running yet.

He's got Benicia on his back.

Yells!

How far away is he?

You're pretty close, like within 10 feet of each other.

Pretty close.

I have one channel divinity because of my that one item I have left.

I can use it.

It has a charge where I can use a channel divinity and I'll cast Twilight Sanctuary, which it grants one

d6 plus nine temporary hit points on everyone's turn oh

so i'll do i'll roll for mine first do you roll it or do you want me to roll mine you roll it on your turn yeah so it's which would be so for me that's 13.

okay

and i'll do that for do you want me to do that for for stinker as well yes yes because that's same turn then with my bonus action so just fyi just so you know the hit points come in at the very end of your turn.

So if you do something that affects that, you don't actually have those hit points yet until the end of your turn.

Yeah, yeah.

Then I'm also going to, with my bonus action, I'm now close enough.

I'm close to chip, right?

Yes, 10 feet.

All right, then I'm going to do healing word as my bonus action on chip, because I do have a first level spell slot.

60 feet bonus action.

Creature that you can see within range regains hit points equals to 1d4 plus my spell casting modifier.

So 1d4 plus 5.

That's 8 to chip.

Wee!

And that's permanent HP or 10?

That's real HP.

Ooh,

that good stuff.

Yeah.

And then that's, I guess that's going to be my turn.

All right.

That's it for Barney.

Chip, you're up.

Okay.

After Chip is the Countess of the Nilka.

I'm going to just...

My priority is getting Benicia to safety, so I'm just going to keep moving.

Keep running.

Keep hustling.

Yeah, you're running down the hallway, down the claustread.

Just know that

You put your headband on, the red, white, and blue striped one.

That's the one.

And begin running down the hallway.

And you see a bunch of battlers and Sferatu fighting over hemo pieces on the ground blocking your way.

It's like your old Jay-Z Yamford.

You're going to have to hurdle them, Chip.

Make a dexterity chest.

I can do it.

Yeah, I'm going to hurl them.

I'm not even going to stop.

That is a

11.

Sorry, 8, 8.

Hold on.

Do I have a.

I might have some sort of advantage.

Right?

No, that's for the dexterity saving throws, and I'm all out of those.

Bad rolls.

This is different than hurdling at Yamford because you got weight on your back.

These people are, you know, there's more of them than just a hurdle.

So you're not able to quite clear them far enough.

You jump them, but your foot just kind of clips them and you stumble a little bit when you reach the other side.

You clear them, but you're a little off your feet at that point.

I turn back to say, brothers and sisters, we must not give in to greed.

Save yourselves, save your lives.

Go.

Also, is anyone among you Quiffley?

Quiffley!

Try and scroll.

Quickly, we gotta go, dude!

You hear it coming from Elga's house, which is right by there.

Okay, save Quiffley.

I'm gonna kick down the door.

I'm gonna kick down the door.

My firefighter

instincts are kicking in.

You kick down the door, and you you see Quiffley trapped between two precarious columns on Ignis Stone holding onto the ceiling.

I gotta save Quiffley.

He looks at you and it was a panic goes.

No, no, we can't.

We're speaking in

Atreides' battle to speak.

I put down Benicia and then I lift the Ignis Stone off of Quiffley like a mother lifting a bus off of her trapped child.

Yeah, make a string check.

Okay.

I hope this goes well.

16.

Yeah, it's just like the old days, being a volunteer firefighter.

You're able to, you find some

debris and use it as

set up a fulcrum, and you're able to lift the columns off of Quiffley, who gives you a big hug.

And then I grab, I hold on to him, and then I grab Panicia, and I run out.

One under each arm.

Yeah.

My babies.

Don't forget, you can also, if you want, use cunning action to take dash if you want to get even more movement.

Yeah.

Okay, I'm going to do that.

So then does that triple my movement if I double moved?

Or I guess that was my action.

That was your action, right?

Then I will dash to get further ground.

Exactly.

You run out and you are now at the top of the stairs leading down to the Tails Dock.

I don't know what Quiffley looks like, but I'm imagining he looks very much like...

Like, I'm imagining like Porky the pig yeah with like a really like rotund belly and but like really short too and you're carrying him and he's just like wobbling like

a little ball of jello i do want to say you went so far blame that you wouldn't get the temp hp oh my god

but you got some real hp i but you got the yeah it's not about me it's about the survivors i gotta save them is that it for chip Uh, yes.

All right.

It's the Countess's turn, and I guess he's just along for the ride here on the the celestial Elga Can I oh can I uh I don't want to interrupt.

That's it for her turn.

Yeah, so go for it.

I'm looking for for Marnie and and my their butt battlers like I'm asking the countess the last time I saw them they were in the tails of dock.

It sounds like we need to go to the tails of doctor We must save your family or my family?

I don't know

sad Everyone except for Mate make a dexterity saving throw.

Oh lots going down on this one.

Let's go, Blaine.

Let's go.

23!

Okay, 23.

And 20.

Curses!

So then, as you all are running, the walls begin crumbling and jets of flame start shooting out from the walls.

But you all, I guess, maybe can hear the walls crumbling, and you're able to dodge out of the way at the last second before the flames would have burned you to a crisp.

Well, I guess Chip's fire resistant, so maybe he would have just taken half.

I just look, and there's ashes in my hands from where he's got

quickly.

That's dark.

Finally.

All right, that was the Countess Elka.

So we're still on this thing.

I mean, you could jump off if you need something you want to do.

I was just trying to.

Well, we're trying to get down, right?

Yeah.

And so we're still...

It can move 80 feet on its turn if it double moves.

I guess I could too, technically.

Because my walking speed is 40.

I don't want to don't feel like you need to stay on it if you like.

Okay.

Could I hop off and grab my mother?

The countess?

Yeah, she's on there with you.

Yeah.

Could I carry her off of it and like start running down?

Yeah, absolutely.

She says, she comments.

Elga, you've grown so much.

You've gotten so strong.

Mother, I've always been this strong.

You just, I've never tried to pick you up before, so you have not been witness to my strength.

It's quite impressive.

Oh, thank you.

Yes, thank you.

I love to impress.

and then she starts running downstairs you carry her or do you also uh join in like you give a piggyback ride i'll just carry her like over my shoulder you got it

and i will double move so it would be 80 feet okay yeah you would get enough movement then to where you essentially catch up with chip as well where you all are about to begin your descent down to the telesa dock and i'm holding my mom over my shoulder we're both volunteer firefighters twins

She doesn't pose twins and like

shifts her mom around to where she's like flying.

You do that thing we got, like you lift, you stand on one leg, the other one's kind of like kicked up, your head's kind of cocked to the side.

Yeah.

And then I will end my turn there.

All right.

Mate,

you are up.

I appear where the hemo pieces are.

Yeah, you appear where the hemo pieces are with everyone else.

Make a dexterity check to see if you're able to quickly scramble and grab a bunch of hemo pieces.

Okay.

Don't know if they'll have much value out of here.

There's probably an exchange thing on the way out of Vania.

22.

Yeah, you're able to begin quickly scrambling, grabbing hemo pieces, and you're able to scurry and grab nine hemo pieces and shove them into your pockets.

Okay, as my second attack for my action, I grab for more hemo pieces.

Make another dexterity check.

Okay, where'd my dice go?

There it is.

Can't tell, but I'm shaking my head.

Yeah, that one's a 21.

All right, yeah, you reach around even more and grab another 15 hemo pieces for 2024.

Wow, you're rich.

I'm doing pretty well.

I'm doing pretty well.

I mean, 15 plus 9 plus the 3 I got from my best friend up there.

Like, I'm doing good.

The Speratu and Battlers all begin by hissing at you.

And that is a lesson to you to be fighting over money when there is a disaster.

Now, everyone head to the closest fire exit.

You're lecturing them on the morality of polluting.

I am teaching them what they should be focusing on right now or they will turn into be a ghost.

There's a little bit of also like fluctuation in the accent that you're doing that sounds like a little bit like almost not like German.

I'll let them know Barbara.

I have been strictly doing a French accent this entire campaign and I've never wavered for a day.

Never wavered.

Naturally, I'm not for deception on that.

They look at you as you tell them to head for the fire exit and they look at the wall where the jets of fire are shooting out of and they point at that and they say fire exit

intelligence modifier on these idiots

Not very good negative four get out of the building and I actually have visage of the astral self going still right now and so I'm glowing and and and very intimidating make an intimidation chip with advantage because I have my thingy intimidation plus three that's only 14.

No, I get advantage.

That's actually 24.

Okay, yeah.

They all begin begin scrambling and running and then i grab more hemo pieces oh my god

i don't know if you have more action for that

it's not as not as bonus action or anything i cast flurry of blows and

you begin punching the hemo pieces i'll leave i'll leave i've killed this joke okay i'll uh i'll i can move one move action so that'd be 65 feet yeah and then uh

you can move 65 feet i i can fly 65 feet

my movement is 40.

yeah i'll give you a downside not that this really is a downside but when i turned level nine the only bonus to that level up other than hp and like some uh i think like a key point was uh i now have even better uh movement where it's just uh i like uneven terrain doesn't affect my running speed as much anymore i'm like well i don't i don't need that so i got a doesn't help me anything at all ability for level nine Aww.

Yeah.

I'm just kidding.

I know.

I say that as I travel 65 feet and then disappear out of existence to the Australian plane.

I think that new ability also allows you to move across liquids on your turn.

Yes.

That's the thing.

Huh?

Yeah, it's like, it is kind of powerful.

It is, except that

I have a passive ability where I float.

That's like as a ghost, that's what I do.

True.

It would look cooler if you could run across water.

Yeah.

Like one of those little lizards.

Yeah, yeah, with the high legs.

Yeah.

Alright, yeah.

So you make your move and you catch up to everyone at the top of the stairs leading down to the Telsidoc.

Unarmored movement improvement.

You can move along vertical surfaces and across liquids on your turn without falling during the move.

There you go.

Ghost stuff.

I can walk up the walls.

Yep.

All right.

Spider-Mat, Spider-Mach does whatever's.

Sorry, I'll stop.

Is that it for Spider Matit's turn?

Does Blaine need to roll a dexterity check since I took so long?

Yeah, probably.

Most likely.

And me, probably.

Not yet.

Okay.

Done.

All right, that goes back up to the top.

Barney, I think you're...

It's only you and Stinker on the Celestial at this point.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It'll double move down that way towards the Telzadoc.

Yeah, so you would get to the top of the stairs leading down to the Telzadoc.

And who's around?

What's in the area?

You're there with...

I think the whole party is now caught up and is at that spot okay including chip yeah the whole party okay well then here oh yeah it'll double move barney then jumps off and then double moves further oh okay yep so you are able to then get down to the tails of dock and yeah everything's in disarray there's battlers running everywhere i'm looking for barney marnie make a perception check and remember when you come down you got to go down a little bit of hallway you go up some stairs.

It's kind of winding.

So...

We know what they look like, too, because he pointed them out to us at some point.

Correct.

I think, yeah, you all did.

Yeah, it was a 21.

You don't see Marnie Sampson or Titus here.

Can I grab someone or like ask someone who's running by?

Yeah, you grab a battler by the shoulders.

What do you do?

Where's Marmee?

Tell me where Marnie is.

She's a battler.

Marnie, Marnie Sampson and Titus, they're in the beastie area.

We gotta run.

With Hoofer, I assume.

No, Hoofer's at a farm upstate.

I swear.

It's accurate.

And in the BC area.

Okay.

I don't know how far I am from that, but I assume that's my.

Just look at your map.

Yeah, you're not going to be able to make it there.

Remember, you're going to have to go down, pass through like the barracks kind of thing, pass through the commissary, and then eventually on the other side of that is where you'll run into the bestiary.

So you'll probably get there.

If you double move on your next turn, you should get there.

All right.

I like how they all know where people are.

Even though that's going to be helpful.

Yeah.

I'll tell you what, since we're trying to, like, we don't have to keep the space one for one, since we're all running an escape, I'll say you'll be able to get there on your next turn.

All right.

And then the celestial spirit looks at Chip and goes

and like touches him, and then it does healing touch to Chip.

And it

heals 2d8 up to Chip.

Where does it touch?

Like on his forehead?

Boop my nose.

Boop my nose.

It boops him right in the belly button

So that's 2d8 plus the spell casting modifier.

That's 12.

Oh, sorry the spells level got

Yeah, sorry, I read that wrong and I cast it at fifth level So I guess that's plus five 2d8 plus five.

Yep.

So 17 yeah

Thank you Celestial one.

What perfect timing everyone roll a dexterity saving throw

12 10 21 I have an inspiration die, though.

I'm going to use it.

I'm not sure, I guess.

You might log in.

Wait, can you know before you use an inspiration die?

I think normally we rule you can't know for inspiring.

You can for lucky, but you can't know for inspiration die.

Correct.

And then whichever I get to choose, whichever, or I have to use

the inspo.

We'll say you can choose.

Using it.

Oh, thank God.

That's a 19.

Okay.

Okay, so Matin's obvious in Australia.

And we'll go in chip and chip.

Were you in Australia?

Yes.

You're back now.

No,

it'll last for three more turns after this.

Yeah, it keeps like phasing back and forth.

Yeah, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.

Elga and Chip, you hear a noise behind you, and you turn around just in time to see a swarm of rats running down the hallway,

trying to run out from the vampire.

And it's like a, it's almost like flowing water.

They begin running down the stairs.

Barney is, meanwhile, focused on talking to the battler, trying to find Marnie, so he doesn't hear them coming.

So from behind you, Barney, just like a wave of rats hits you in the back and begins knocking you down to the ground.

I think Chris is laughing.

Yeah, they take a little.

Wow!

Because last time I surfed blood, but this time I'm wipe out!

Make a

strength check to see if you're able to stay on your feet or if they knock you to the ground, Barney.

I'm just going to Google real quick how long it takes a swarm of rats to consume an entire human body.

Oh my god.

Do that in a private tab.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's a dirty 20 on my strength check, but I'm also, if I could use the rat wave to

go further.

So you managed to keep your feet rolling.

How would you, just out of curiosity, how would you ride a swarm of rats?

What do you have?

Well, here's what I would do is I would take my shield.

I was hoping you would say that.

That's exactly what I was thinking.

I take my shield and then slip it down below me and then der nerd.

So it's like in Lord of the Rings when Legolas surfs on his shield going down the stairs, except you're doing it on a swarm of rats.

Yeah.

Hopefully not crushing them beneath you.

Make a dexterity check.

Let's just see what happens.

19.

Wow.

I always know it's good if I hear Chris go, oh, oh,

yeah, you're able to get the shield down and it begins moving.

I just need...

I'm not trying to block you here.

I just need to make a roll to see if you crush all the rats or if they're actually able to sustain your weight.

You are heavy with a lot of gear.

That would be the saddest thing ever.

I know.

Yeah, you throw the shield down and it begins moving only for about three or four inches and then it just crushes to the ground with a sickening squishy sound.

Well, you know, they'll come back with...

No, never mind.

I lost my concentration.

I was going to say they'd come back with one HP, but

I lost that and I got the.

Yeah.

It was a good try.

It was a valiant effort.

I tried, but the dice didn't work out in your favor.

That's fine.

Thank you.

Yeah.

Who went last?

I got distracted by that.

Was it...

I think it was...

That was me.

Yeah, Barney did go last.

Yeah, yeah.

So it was me?

So, Chip, it's your turn.

Okay.

It sounds like we're all going to the...

Was it Tails of Dock?

No, no, no.

There's the downstairs area.

Yeah, the Tails of Dock's the first level.

Okay.

And Barney is headed i think headed up to the uh beastie area correct we also yeah you have host you have people you're carrying so i don't know if it necessarily makes sense for you to get more like chris almostages like that too

um if there is an exit yeah i agree i'm gonna try to take my hostages out of the

Yeah,

you emerge on the Tails of Doc, and it's just madness.

It's just, you know,

running everywhere.

But you remember, you were able to retrace your steps and you start running, making a B line for the exit.

Okay, so I'll double move and with my bonus action dash.

So like a triple move.

Yeah.

Yeah, you begin running through, trying to make your way to the exit.

I'll say you're most of the way there.

Make me a perception check chip.

Okay.

Oh, also when I upgraded, I brought my perception up.

So now I'm at a zero instead of a minus one.

Fancy.

That is a...

God, I'm still terrible at perception.

Six.

Okay, that's fine.

Anything else you want to do?

Take another look around.

Did I miss anything?

No, I guess.

No, I'll just...

I need to hit my move.

Yeah, that's good.

Gotta get my hostages out.

Okay, good.

I just set my timer.

I'm pulling up hosts.

The Countess, I guess she's got your back.

Since you're holding her with her feet in front of you and her face facing your back, she's keeping an eye out for any trouble behind you, Elga.

Thank you, Mother.

Thank you.

And it's your turn, Elga.

Okay, so now what's going on are the rats still around?

Are we...

What's going on here?

They've run past you.

They're downstairs now in the tails of dock.

Okay.

You're still at the top of the stairs.

Okay, I'm going to do a double movement to

get as far down as possible.

You run down and you see Barney Barney standing on his shield with blood oozing out from under it.

Grouse on the blood.

Grouse man under

Come on, get on, ride the rats!

You're not sure what that's about.

Hold on!

When Elga sees that, she gets a little rumble in her stomach.

Fresh leg.

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Yeah, you get a rumble, but you keep running and you make your move.

You exit beyond the barracks and the commissary and you keep going.

So you make your double move.

Elka, make me a perception check.

And you've caught up to Chip at this point.

Eh, it's only a 10.

Yeah, you and Chip are caught up.

You think on your next turn, you both can probably get out of here.

Okay.

And could I look around to see if I recognize anyone else who is friendly or like we should be helping get out of here?

That was a perception check.

Oh, okay.

I was gonna say, because I failed on my turn, if you could check on Quiffley and Benicia to make sure they're still alive.

I ain't sure they're fine.

You got them, right?

Yeah.

Did you lose your hostages?

Ghost, did I?

Oh.

Oh, no.

As far as you know, yeah, you still got them.

Question mark.

All right.

Is that it for you, Eligo?

Yes.

Okay, Mateed, I assume you re-pop into the material plane?

Yes.

I did.

I did 65 feet from my

Hemo Pieces, bro.

Yeah, I think we said you were at the top of the stairs.

You had caught up.

Everyone was at the same spot.

Well, I did 65 feet after the Hemo Pieces thing.

So did that.

Okay, okay.

Then if

let's do the thing where I go one movement, where does that leave me?

Yeah, that would take you down a little past Barney into the next room, just beyond that.

You're like almost caught up with Chip and Elka.

Okay.

This is a race, right?

We're all racing.

That's how I see it.

Either way, I am winning.

So then, if

I'm there, do I need to take a look around or can I just go another double movement?

Oh, it depends.

If you were going to move, I was going to ask you to make a perception check.

I'll move.

Yeah, make a perception check.

I will do a perception check, which I am proficient at.

Excellent.

16.

Yeah,

you're almost caught up to Chip and Elga here in the Beastie area, and you notice that you can see out of the corner of your eye in one of the cages, you see Marnie, Samson, and Titus.

Oh!

And they're they're cowering in a cage as ravenous animals are trying to get at them and force their way inside to the cage.

Oh, okay.

How many animals?

Three.

Three.

Guess what?

A number he was prepared to say.

Truly, a number written in the module.

It's fine.

It's fine.

This is a lot.

This is a lot.

D and D men.

It's improv.

Sometimes you just gotta make stuff up and you see what happens.

Yeah, that's the rule of improv.

Yes, and three.

Chris tried to surf rats.

I mean,

yeah, could I uh

so did I get to the beastiary with my first movement?

Yes.

Then, okay, so then I can attack these animals.

Yes, I would assume.

Okay, cool.

Yeah, I'm gonna just hit him with a good old spear, spear pokey.

Do it.

A spear of the spearier baker.

Go.

Spearier baker.

That's That's a 29.

That hits.

Okay.

I just think of the iron golems now.

Whenever you use your spear, I think of the iron golems from Stinky Dragon Adventures.

So much liquid.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Fluid.

Disgusting.

Two plus seven, nine.

Piercing damage.

Yeah, you pierce an unaware wolf and it falls to the ground underneath.

And there's two more?

Two more.

Okay, then I'll do a flurry of of blows and do

an unarmed talon strike.

That one's a dirty 20.

That hits.

That one does.

Where's my honor?

Plus five.

So that does 10.

10.

Yeah.

You hit a tiger and it also falls because I'm unmoving.

Just watching.

Tigers in there cycle through animals really quickly.

I was like, what can it be?

A tiger, yes.

That makes me very sad.

They're my favorite animal.

Why would that be all the way out here?

I mean, they had a bear, they had a goat, they're getting, they got a harmonica.

They got all kinds of stuff.

Yeah, that one's a 16 for another strike on the

on what animal, Gus?

Um, this one is a rhinoceros.

Oh,

what is going on here?

Does a 16 pierce a rhinoceros?

Yes.

Okay, and that one does.

Oh, that does max damage.

What is it?

Plus five?

Uh, 11.

11, yeah, the rhino falls down as well unmoving first looting now poaching golly i'm i'm you i'm saving this

people who are apparently important to the old man a battler runs up to the tiger and says tony what did they do to you oh my god oh no

i turn to the battle and i go i'm gonna send him to the australian plain where he will be taken care of by a cat man

but will he be will he still be part of a balanced breakfast yes it'll be great.

Okay.

It's funny because they would drink the blood resume of these animals.

Oh, yeah, they did.

Yeah.

You know, some people,

they do make friends with the livestock.

You shouldn't do that.

Don't make friends with the livestock if you're going to do that.

Don't name them.

Don't name them.

He did.

Yeah.

I fling the door open and I go, Bonjour, come with me if you would like to get out of this fire.

They look at you.

They remember you.

They met you not that long ago.

And they're still very skittish but obviously you know there's a lot of danger so they start uh emerging from the cages okay i shoot them along and we don't go anywhere because i'm done with my turn okay that comes up to barney barn i assume you move barney i won't and also i don't go to the australian plane okay i think first and barney's come on rats let's go and then looks down and notices that he's not moving

I think the Celestial will double move, pick up Barney, take him as much as he can, and then Barney will then continue running.

And I don't know if that takes him into the...

Yeah, I think after one move by the Celestial being, you would be in the beastie area.

And you come in just in time to see Mate opening a cage, letting Marnie Samson and Titus out, and the three of them, you know, stepping over the carcass of a tiger.

Oh my God.

Tony!

No.

Everyone make a dexterity save your throw.

No.

Do I have to if I'm floating?

Oh my god.

Yes, you should as well.

22.

Just because.

24.

I can't say no to you, Mr.

Sorola.

Just can't.

16.

26.

I get plus two to whoever two people need it.

Probably.

I think I'm the lowest.

Yeah.

And maybe Countess Bombroth if she needs it.

Well, it's a good thing you got that, Elga, because where you were standing just a second ago, a huge piece of stone falls and crushes the ground, narrowly missing you.

If you hadn't had a plus two, you'd be taking some ouchy damage on your head right now thank you barny wherever you are

i'm right here

uh the countess pokes you on the back elga and then whispers he's right behind you i guess because she has like my back view

so uh barney you see marnie sampson and titus here Marnie, get the boys, get on the stage.

Do they, like, I know they don't know who.

Yeah,

they're scared, but, you know, they do see

this as a an exit, right?

A speedy way.

So they're gonna, she's gonna, you know, help the boys up and then clamber up on top of the celestial with you.

And then, real quick, do I see Hoofer?

Anywhere?

No, Hoofer's in Australia.

I was just checking.

I was checking.

I think Marnie, we just do a double look around just in case.

No.

His fourth family member.

Yeah.

His family who he's been missing for thousands of years and this animal that he knew for about ten minutes

The goat

everyone hated

and then the celestial being I guess would double move well it did one move to get here so then it would continue its move the second part of its double move.

Yeah, I like how this celestial being who is like in theory like a deity of some sort It's just a glorified uber

It's an uber pool.

It's picking up people and dropping them off along the way and I want to uh while passing I want to touch Elga Elga you're still you're on your own.

I'm with I'm holding uh my mother.

I touch Elga and cast freedom of movement, which is you touch a willing creature for the duration and target's movement is unaffected by difficult terrain and spells and other magical effects can neither reduce the target speed nor cause the target to be paralyzed or restrained.

The target can also spend five feet of movement to automatically escape from non-magical restraints and being underwater imposes no penalties.

So it's just like just yeah, you can just move quickly and if you're restrained, you just spend five feet of movement to get out of it.

Yeah.

Okay.

And no difficult terrain.

So.

Cool.

Yes.

I'm imagining his touch is just a pat on the head.

But if the celestial is flying by, maybe it's more of a slack.

I guess that's it.

Okay, Barney, so you're at that point, you're pretty much at the exit.

You're you're almost, you're just about there, Barney.

Chip, you're up.

Double move to the exit.

Get to the exit.

Gotta save my people.

You're pretty much there as well, along with the people you're carrying quickly and Benicia.

I run through the exit, and as I run by the guard goil, I say, Stoker!

And then I keep running through the drawbridge.

You laugh to yourself, and then look over and see that the gargoyles are split into three pieces, broken on the ground.

Maybe.

Broker.

Literally.

Rest in pieces.

Yeah,

Elga.

I guess I want to keep running out.

Okay, yeah, you're also caught up with everyone right there at the exit.

Okay.

Along with the Countess and Mateed?

Yeah, I definitely proceed with the party.

All right.

Yeah, you all catch up to each other.

You all get to the exit, more or less at the same time.

And as you're getting to the exit, you feel one super violent tremor under your feet.

Stuff starts falling all around you.

Everyone take, make a dexterity-saving curve.

He said, everyone take.

Everyone take.

Well, you don't get the damage automatically.

You might make it.

I know.

I'm just saying Gus is putting his wishes out there before the ask.

You got to manifest it.

21.

Gus.

But you roll, Blade.

I rolled a one because I thought I was gone.

I thought I was gone.

Arnar.

Well, you are.

Just in a different way.

I give a plus two.

Well, I had a plus six.

That's seven, but I...

I don't think it'll do anything.

I got out.

Mate, what about you?

19.

Oh, so it really is only a chip, huh?

Alright, big pieces of stone start falling.

Chip falls are probably gonna die.

35 points of damage.

The earth thunderously trembles as you struggle and scramble to safety, but despite your best efforts, the entire tower comes crumbling down onto all of you with a crutch.

But wait, you look up to see a hulking crystalline golem holding up the collapsing wreckage.

That's a good boy.

The golem shudders, and the weight of the tower causes his crystalline body to begin to crack and fracture like glass.

Muld!

Oh, no!

Be free!

And with one final push, the move shoves you all outside, and

the vampire plummets into the earth, and a billow blanket of dust and debris fills the air.

And mold is gone.

Everyone, make a perception check.

Mold.

Worst perception check ever.

16.

One for six.

Dirty 20.

18.

I need to find a mold.

Elga, you managed to crawl out from beneath some debris, but struggle for a minute or two to find any familiar faces amidst the devastation and the detritus.

Barney and Chip, you're blinded by the dust, but you feel around for a safe path.

And as you're doing so, you find crystalline fragments of gemstones.

And you reach the edge of the dust cloud and find crowds of fallen Vanians wrestling to their feet among shrapnel and rubble.

You spot the rest of the party and you're able to lead them to safety.

Mate,

on the periphery of the village, you spot a few skulking silhouettes running away from view down the mountainside.

And in the far-off distance, you hear a faint whistle.

What's the whistle?

I don't know.

A train?

You're not quite sure what it is.

Can Chip grab?

I don't know the anatomy of like mold and like crystalline gim creatures, but I want to grab some pieces of mold to see if there's any way to like rehabilitate his spirit, you know?

Even if he's a little tiny,

he wants to groot this guy.

Yeah, I want a tiny mold.

You collect a few crystalline gemstones and look at them.

You're not sure if you know how to do it right now, but maybe with some research you can figure it out.

Yeah.

The countess, who's right by you, Elga, begins coughing a bit.

Don't worry, Elga.

I'll be fine.

But we can't stay here.

If there's any chance that Count Von Breath or Eddie survived all this, then we have to find find them and stop them.

And then she reaches deep into her cloak and pulls out a lustrous piece of silver.

There is more at stake than some broken Vanian vows.

She flashes the piece of silver at you, and you see it's a pin with a familiar sigil of a scabbard with an S wrapped around it.

Red Sheets?

She looks at Chip.

Please, I beg of you.

No one can know who I work for, or my mission will be for nothing.

Carol's mission will have been for nothing.

We must get to Faunalock as fast as possible.

You hear footsteps quickly approaching from behind as she furtively stows her pin.

There you are.

You turn around and see the alchemist, Francesca, and Hexel and the mummy.

Think Marl, you all survived.

I don't know what happened up there, but something definitely happened out here, and I don't just mean the tower.

Before the Earth Tremors, we all noticed that the motor blood around the tower suddenly dried up, just like that.

I can't explain it.

Chip, the countess gives you a knowing look and mouths something to you.

Make a perception check.

Oh my god.

It's okay.

You got this.

It's an eight.

Can we help him in that somehow?

Just for checking.

If you want to physically mouth it to me, I want to see if I can.

What the hell did you just say?

Nope.

You don't want to say it?

I'm going to mute myself and I'm going to say it.

Okay.

This game is cool.

No, no, no, no.

Blade.

Blast episode?

Would you hear it?

Maybe at least one of those words with an A?

She's not saying it, she's just mouthing it.

Oh, God, it's got to be something about the

medicine man.

Alchemist.

Yeah, pharmacist.

And then, okay, so Chip responds subtly, and he goes, What?

She kind of furrows her brow and puts her head in her hand.

Benicia steps out from, or like she frees herself from your grasp, Chip, and says, Oh, thank you for freeing me.

And, you know, she's got dust all over her and she begins shaking it off.

And, you know, once again, you, you see Benicia, the young human girl with olive complexion, brunette hair, hazel eyes, and full eyebrows.

All of you make a wisdom check.

See, you guys told me not to do wisdom.

Our history.

Don't worry, I got it covered, Barb.

That's an eight.

Matt, 20, 25, 9.

21.

Barney and Mateed, you look at each other.

and then look at Benicia and then look at each other again.

And then, you know, you look at Robert and you find yourself looking back and forth between Benicia's eyes and Robert's eyes.

Not only are they both hazel, but they both have the same golden ring of pigment around the irises.

What a coincidence.

That's so cool.

Benicia's Wolfman's daughter, but also Wolfman was in a relationship with Francesca.

Francesca, who is

the alchemist's wife.

Yeah, so is this like a literal love triangle?

There's some polyamory going on here.

I mean, hey.

Barney, make a perception check separate from the other one.

23.

You see Stinker, you know, get real antsy and then bark and start running up to Marnie and the boys and licking them with his bony tongue.

You see Marnie shaking her head and blinking her eyes, and you notice a bruise on the side of her head.

But something else strikes you.

Her belt is unlocked and lying on the ground.

Marnie looks down at her waist.

My head is spinning.

Where am I?

You're in Vania.

Harnie, I know you don't remember me, and I probably seem crazy, but my name is Barney, and I...

I'm your husband.

Or at least I used to be.

Barney?

Is that...

really you?

You remember me?

Of course, Barney.

Everything is fuzzy, but it's...

it's coming back.

Barney, you...

You look...

How long has it been?

Too long.

Barney, boys,

I'm so sorry.

I should never have let them take you.

I was just.

I froze because I was scared.

And then

you were gone.

And I promised myself that I'd get you back.

I studied holy magic, I became a cleric, and I trained every day to rescue you.

Every day.

But then it was weeks, and then months, and then

years.

Every year, I got ready to go after you.

But

I always convinced myself that I wasn't ready.

That I needed more training than the years they just...

I don't know.

Honeybee,

I...

You don't have to say anything, Marnie.

I know I'm a coward, and that I don't deserve you.

Or the boys, or anyone.

I understand if you want nothing to do with me.

Marnie springs forward and wraps her arms around you with an embrace warmer than all the sunsets that you've been apart.

I never gave up on you, Barney Farney.

And you never gave up on us.

Doesn't matter how long it's been.

You did it, honeybee.

We're together again.

Barney begins to weep as he holds her tighter than he's ever held anything in his life.

Marnie's gaze turns to Elga, and after a moment, a single tear trickles down her cheek.

Oh,

Calliope!

Calliope.

What?

Is that my name?

Barney, you found her too.

You found our Calliope.

I thought we lost her forever.

Elga, you notice the Countess looks down at you, and you think you see her eyes getting misty.

I'm afraid I'm somewhat in the dark about this as well.

I was always under the impression that I was a mother, but it would not put it past Hugo to spin a web of lies and deceive us all.

That being said, I would never want to stand between a mother and her daughter.

But I'm afraid this whole reunion must be put on hold.

I am needed.

We are needed elsewhere and must make haste to Faunalock at once.

The countess wipes her eyes, dusts herself off, and starts marching southward.

Could uh Elga run after her and embrace her and say, Even if you're not my real mother, I will always think of you as my mother, at least one of them, because I'll love you forever no matter what.

Her eyes get really teary, they well up, and uh, she, you know, gets down on one knee and then wraps her arms around you and holds you really tight.

Okay, we got to get a move on now.

Let's go.

The rest of you are welcome to follow if you wish, but there is no time to wait.

Chip joins the hug and says, What did you mouth to me earlier?

Okay, team, we must go.

We must save everybody and complete our mission.

And Elga, like, does the whole like, come on, gang!

The big waving arm.

Yeah.

Sorry, my brain just went to when you said that.

I was like, that's right.

Our mission of clearing our names of murder.

Oh, it's so much more than that.

That's what I mean.

It's kind of, it's kind of balloon.

Our multi-leveled mission that has come for a million different things.

Side quests and whatnot.

I leave Barney and Marnie and everyone to have their moment, and then I join Elga.

Yeah,

I join.

I join.

Also at this point, like, what does Elga actually know?

Like, she obviously realizes that everything has been a lie and that she's actually Barney and Marnie's daughter, Calliope.

But like, does she, is she starting to remember anything, or is it still kind of like...

If you got stolid when you were a baby, you wouldn't remember anything.

Yeah, it's still not clear.

You don't remember it very well.

Actually, I say you don't remember it at all.

I'd say as she's walking, she keeps kind of glancing back to look at Marnie and the other boys.

Can I have a side with Mateed?

Yeah, you can do your sidebar chip in Mateed.

Yeah, I realize that there's a lot of like reunions happening, like mother-daughter and husband-wife and families and all that stuff.

And I kind of pull Matid to the side because they're also not having a part of the reunions.

And I'm just kind of like, it's kind of...

It's beautiful.

I'm glad everyone's getting back together, but I really miss my wife.

And I'm really sad.

Can I have a hug, Mateed?

I'm just,

I'm just having a hard day.

I give him a big old hug with all six of my arms.

Oh, that's a solid hug.

There's Mateb.

Mateb's attacking, Jip.

So you all begin walking, and then after a few hours of trudging down the mountainside, your already aching bones and fatigued feet pound with pain in every step.

The high noon half sun peeks out from behind what was a relentless curtain of Vanian clouds.

Everyone make everyone make a constitution saving throw.

The hemo pieces, we forgot to trade them in.

I was too busy hugging you and not telling you about

you've got souvenirs now from your trip to Vania.

And who knows?

You could change them at the bank back home.

You get a bad exchange rate, but you know, it's better than nothing.

Just don't do it at the airport.

And I'm my constitution saving through.

18.

18, 23.

Elga, maybe it's from carrying the countess earlier, the weight of all of this that's going on.

You just feel exhausted from this long walk.

And the Countess looks at you, Elgin.

I know your pain and we will rest soon enough, but we must secure safe travel to Fonalock while we have the light of day.

And you all press on for another 15 minutes and eventually the black graveled ground gives way to lush brush and tall grass.

The Countess parks some reeds and steps onto a dock.

She turns back to you all.

I told you it wouldn't be long.

Soon you'll be resting on the

boat?

She stops dead in her tracks and you all do see a boat.

In fact, it's the familiar ship, the SS Betterprize.

But the riverbed is utterly desiccated, and the ship is beached on the arid ground.

Not a single drop is left in the channel.

It's worse than I thought.

The timetable is moving much quicker than I anticipated.

Captain Kerg oozes out from the boiler deck with Spork on his shoulder and waves to you.

No.

Blurbo, garbo.

The countess ignores him completely and starts looking around for something.

She licks her finger and sticks it into the air and immediately starts jogging along the shoreline.

Follow me.

I have another idea.

It's not as direct, but it will take us most of the way there.

Everyone make another constitution saving throw.

I'm tired.

14, 21, 12, 22.

All right, uh, metagame speaking, Chip and Elga, you each have one level of exhaustion at this point, just from all of the walking.

You all forge ahead, trying your best to gain a second win and ignore your splitting sides.

It's tough to say how much longer you all travel.

Oh, your focus is preoccupied by the humidity thickening around you.

You can feel your clothes sticking to your bodies.

In a choo-choo, you all spot a column of white smoke trailing just past the tree line up ahead.

We're almost there, but we can't afford to miss this train.

It will be hours before the next one comes along.

Everyone needs to sprint this last leg to catch the Grotath Express, which is pulling out of the station.

Everyone, make an athletics check.

I have disadvantaged because of fatigue.

Yeah, that's a

11.

Doe, do I need to also do it with disadvantage?

Yes, okay.

Uh 14 with disadvantage.

Wow,

it was 27 with

four.

I know, right?

18.

Everyone, you're barely able to do it.

You're able to overcome your heavy feet and just at the last second able to reach the caboose of the train and safely climb aboard.

Can Chip just grab onto the stairs and be dragged for about 20 feet before

and urges all of you inside with a nod of her head.

The Countess closes the door, and you find yourselves in a train car stacked with luggage and box supplies.

She sets down on a nearby crate.

As I was trying to explain earlier, I'm not really a Countess, I'm an agent of a covert organization called Sheath.

We are protectors of a great secret that must be guarded at all costs.

That's why we're headed to Fonalok.

My name is not von Brath, it's Tempur.

Sadate Timpur.

Where do I know that name before?

Timpur, like time.

Ah, Dan, and I am Haney.

Chip Haney.

We've heard that before, I think.

I don't know.

We'll have to find out if you have or what that all means in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Can we long rest?

Can we longer please?

Come long.

We'll see you guys next week.

Bye.

Bye, Bubble Grabble.

Did you know you can directly support the show by becoming a patron at patreon.com/slash stinky dragon?

Become a patron, you could get your name shouted out at the end of the show.

Our patrons directly support the show and get ad-free episodes, access to our patron-only Discord server, bonus content like Second Win and Behind the Screen, and more.

Again, that's patreon.com/slash stinky dragon.

We can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show.

We also want to thank some friends who provide a voiceover for characters in this episode, like Countess Von Brath, aka Sedate Tempor, voiced by Patty Reisinger, Martini Farney, voiced by Stephanie Ard, at Stephanie Michelle, that's Michelle with an S.

The Alchemist, voiced by Blizz, at BlizzBear, instead of an E, that's a three.

Venicia Wolfman, voiced by Griff Milton, at the underscore indoor kid, and Captain Kerk, voiced by Armando Torres, at Mondo DoesStuff.

This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Ben Ernst and written, edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger.

Head over to patreon.com slash stinky dragon for all things stinky.

Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

It's not about me, it's about the survivors.

I gotta save them.

A second celestial being has hit the

inspiration, die.

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That might get cut, but give yourself an inspiration, die.

No,

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