C02 - Ep. 45 - Vengeance in Vainia - Eddie, Set, GO!

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Previously, our adventurers congregated in the capillary to commence the tribunal of Count Von Broth.

After an introduction of evidence and tantalizing testimonies, the tribunal was cut short by a battler disguised at E.

Which von Brath will fall victim in this vexing vany adventure?

Nab a nightcap, nestle in for this noxious narrative.

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Just shoot me with an arrow.

I'm going to to stop us all the dungeon master of our future party.

I'm going to hit Blaine Gibson with an arrow.

Do it.

Do it.

This week's role-playing warm-up question is, describe a moment when your character felt triumphant.

I'll go first.

Hey, it's me, Blaine Gibson, and I play Chip Haney, a level seven Kiefling Role.

Dude, looked at it again.

What do you mean?

This is our first time recording this.

And this was in universe because Chip canonically had taken a break to be with his wife, Carol.

He stopped assassinating, and he lost all of his power and didn't sharpness.

And then when we were in Carcassouk, and then we ran into that one guy and he was like, you're the legendary Chip Annie.

And I was like, I am.

And then I assassinated like eight people.

Yeah.

That was a good highlight reel.

Yeah, I feel like it was like, you guys were just letting me have it, though.

You know, but I was playing it.

You guys were like, it's fine.

He's having fun.

Yeah, a little momentum

checks.

Yeah.

You did good.

You did good, buddy.

You mean it?

Yeah.

Okay.

You're the best killer I know.

Okay, someone go else.

Someone else kills.

Someone go else too.

Someone go else.

Bonjour.

My name is John Reisinger, and I play Matid Confisuse, who is an Eric Cochrane ghost monk.

And when was the last time I felt triumphant?

Probably an hour ago.

I feel triumphant constantly.

I was able to procure emo pieces from that

Smradi.

That felt very triumphant.

I was able to hide under the ground for about a week.

I'd never done that before.

That was very interesting.

Yeah,

you got to find the little wins all the time, and then you're always winning.

You had some sad money?

Sad money?

Yeah.

Emo pieces?

Yeah.

Oh, emo pieces.

Just silent.

Yeah.

I was like, that one was Micah.

That was Micah.

Oh, you're blaming him now?

Yeah, if it's good, I'll take the credit.

If it's bad, I'll say it was Micah.

I feel like also Mateed might have like a particularly good queen of mom or something that comes out of the oven, and they're like, yeah, nailed it.

Oh, yeah, when they bake something good,

fancy words there dude well it's mateed i'm talking about fancy i forgot actually gus you did go through like a baking phase i've been known to bake i miss where i was a baking temped it up or you it's been a little while been a month or two it's been since we've been in lockdown probably no no no no he was doing baguettes and croissants i got a i get i was known to do a baguette baguette from uh gus i never had a baguette when i make them it's i'll have to fire up the baguette oven again he also made pickles one time i did make pickles i was inspired by a bad movie on max

Oh, the

American pickles.

Oh, my God.

That was bad.

I was like, huh, making pickles might be easy.

So I made pickles.

Yeah.

I was like, I can do that.

Seth Rogan plays a dum-dum who can make pickles.

I can make a pickle.

Heck yeah, you can.

That's funny.

That's the best thing to come out of that movie.

All right, who's next?

Hi, I'm Chris Damaris, and I play Barney Farney, the human cleric.

And a time that Barney felt triumphant.

Well, this takes me back.

Back when I was just a young a young lad

in the village, you know, there's just the prettiest girl in the whole village, Smarnie.

And, you know, at the fall dance, you know, I.

You fill at the dance?

I worked up the courage to ask her out to take a dance with me.

And right whenever she was, before she could respond, Archibald Sanders.

The biggest, the strongest.

He was the mayor's son.

The mayor's son.

Isn't it always?

The mayoral son.

Yeah.

And he's just brash, confident, good looking.

And he started picking fun

and it challenged me to a dance competition.

Oh, like break dancing?

Do you do like line dancing or square dancing or salsa dancing?

YMCA.

It was dancer's choice.

And so the whole town gathered around outside for the big dance off.

And I'll tell you this.

I danced my heart out.

Did you put it back in?

Yes, I did.

Did you win?

No, I lost.

I lost horribly.

I lost so badly, the entire town laughed at me.

But you know what?

That's sad.

I still won.

Because you won Marnie.

Because I got Marnie.

Aww, and that's sweet.

And that romance.

How did that story end?

Well, hello, everyone.

I'm Barbara's here.

Barbara Dunkelman.

I love Barbara Dunkelman.

I love you too, John Reisinger.

Thank you very much.

My good friend, John.

How come you didn't say that with me and Chris Win?

Hey, John.

How come you didn't say that with me and Chris Win?

Because he doesn't love you.

Could you check my mic?

Someone's cutting in and out of here.

I'm not quite hearing a...

Oh, Blaine.

It's me.

Blaine, fuck on your mic.

Good buddy Boyne.

And I'm voice.

Elga Van Brat, the female, half-elf, vampire, barbarian.

Thank you.

Welcome back to my studio.

Peep you.

Keep you.

And Elga feels triumphant quite a bit, you know, being a barbarian and being able to rage, it makes you feel very powerful, very triumphant.

But I think for Elga, it was really honestly the first time she left the vampire where she got to go to the peace parade.

She felt very excited and triumphant to be on this new quest and this new experience and this new journey.

And it just made her feel very, very optimistic about, you know, a new future.

Did you, by any chance, run up to a grassy hill and start singing about the hills are alive?

And to be excited, no one watches that stuff anymore.

Our age range is from 16 to 24.

What is that you're talking about?

The heroes are alive.

Well, you should know that.

You're old.

Sounds like music.

I've never seen sounding music.

All in.

But you know the reference.

I've never seen it either, but I know the reference.

Yeah, I guess you haven't seen it, Gus.

Yeah, I know.

Me too.

That came out like

when you were like 20.

Make a death saving show.

Wait, wait, wouldn't you be the one making the death savings?

You too.

Hey, it's just Batina and Elga.

The Mi Show, but and Elga.

Melga.

Yeah.

I like how it's just the M from Mate and then Elga's whole name.

No, it's the M-A.

Melga.

Melga.

Matilda.

I like that.

All right, was that everyone?

That's everyone, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

When were you triumphant, Gus?

Yeah, when were you?

How about you, Gus?

How about Arrow?

My recent triumphant moment was when Chip tried to provoke an attack of opportunity from Lewis.

That was a pretty good moment.

And Lewis credited him.

That was a pretty good moment.

That was particularly triumphant for me.

Did you feel triumphant, Blaine?

No, not at all.

That was pretty good.

A familiar battler steps forward to the dais.

The way they came in.

Count von Brath has been nothing but kind to me ever since we first met.

He welcomed me into his home, offered me a job, and I believe he should be free.

The battler lunges at the coffin, and with a conchunk, the lid opens.

The radiance around the casket subsides, and out steps a pale man with blonde, curly hair, wearing a top hat, black suit, and a red ascot.

Count von Broth addresses you all.

Oh, such hospitality.

Why, thank you, Eddie.

And with a whoosh, the battler's robes billow and swirl, transforming into a skinless figure with green veins, green eyes, and a grin of jagged teeth.

Don't mention it!

Hugo!

Everyone, roll initiative.

Hey,

real quick, when Eddie was in his like not W thick form, what did he look like?

Do we recognize him?

Is a battler?

Yeah,

when he's in battler form.

What are you getting at?

Have we met the family?

I think you have a you might have a train of thought.

Make your sound.

No, I don't think it's him.

I don't think it's them.

No, it's not Quiffley.

Is it the artist?

Is it Robert?

Who's Robert?

Robert's not a battler.

No.

The professor's

the alchemist.

I thought they had it.

Looking at Mike.

I thought they had it.

They don't have it.

Henry.

No.

Henry.

No, it's not Henry.

Who is it?

We know him.

No, you met them.

You might figure it out.

Just start naming off characters.

Tom Bigglebum.

Tom Bigglebum of the Vanian Bigglebum.

When I said name off characters, I meant actual characters from the campus.

What are your initiatives?

Was it the guy that I ran into in the club, the nightclub?

It's little Jimmy!

No.

No, no, no.

What's your initiatives?

Y'all don't know.

I'm just

10 for Elga.

13.

Oh.

I am a...

5!

Nat 20, 22.

Wow.

But, like, the whole vampspire is going to be fighting this guy, right?

Okay, I'm going to put you all in order here.

He rolls 3,000 initiatives.

There is a lot.

I've actually pre-rolled it just because there are so many that I have to take care of here.

Hugo goes first, followed by Barney.

I just want to point out quickly, since I didn't get to mention it in the last episode with all the chaos of the ending, pretty sure Elga's dad, who is now Hugo, was probably the person in Barney's vision.

Yeah, because of the description of the clothing.

Yes.

The tailored suit and the blonde hair.

Talking with a woman in front of the vamps fire saying it's either not ours or it's not the hour.

Is Count lots of good notes over there.

Is Count Vixie completely separate from all this then?

Probably not.

I think Vixie's got the family.

Right, but didn't he.

Hugo took them, but we don't know if they're serving Hugo.

Got it.

Dracula said he kept them as his pets or something.

Yeah.

Like akin to that.

Maybe there's like some type of nickname.

Thank you for vamping for me.

I have.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Oh, I'm going to go.

What else would we do?

In Mate's vision, there was two fangs dripping above a blood-red necktie, not an ascot, so it might be someone else or something else.

Hey, was this the guy that kicked your butt?

I don't know.

That's a good guy.

Because that was in the past.

Maybe he changed from necktie to besky i'm pretty sure you have to wear the exact same neck gear your entire life

these are cartoon rules

okay while he's doing his thing we need to figure out who eddie is because we've met them before he likes in battler form was it the one that we whenever we went to the yeah he went he used the arm he used the arm to get into that the tomb when we played hide and seek yeah

there was that butler that was he was the guy that was laying on the ground he was the guy that was laying on the ground oh was was that Eddie?

I think Barbara got there first.

Oh,

yeah,

in the sepulcher.

He was laying on the ground.

He's like, oh, oh, I've been passed out.

And it was Eddie.

That butt wipe.

That was Eddie.

Was it, though?

Because we saw someone go down who wasn't fitting in the cloak very well.

And he went in there.

Yeah.

And then did come out.

I thought the other guy pulled the coffin out and he was in the coffin.

The guy that pulled the coffin out was the guy.

That was Eddie.

Was Eddie?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Is that what we didn't?

We don't know.

Do we know that?

You may get some answers here very soon.

Up first on the initiative order is Hugo, then after Hugo is Barney, then Eddie, then Evena.

What about me?

There are one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

There's ten different characters in the initiative role.

John, stop rolling so hard.

Dude, I think they're heavy.

Yeah, I know.

I didn't do anything.

Hey, you can't be throwing those on the table, John.

All right, so it is Hugo first.

You could not have ruined that more.

What's Hugo do?

You uh see Hugo mutter some arcane incantations offensium pudenti.

I mutter back.

What do you mutter?

Your mutter was a hamster.

Ooh, that's not nice.

That's your grandma.

That's your grandma.

Don't give a banana.

That's funny.

And you're not quite sure exactly what that does.

Barney, you're up.

So the layout of the room and like.

So this was that big triangular kind of like temple y'all were in before.

So this is a rather large room with two rows of pews and

fiery red-hot braziers and red stone leading up the middle towards the dais.

At the dais, there's like one big throne where Dracula was sitting.

It's black.

Four smaller chairs with Spiratu in it and the coffin that Hugo was in.

Then off to the sides of the room are stone coffins and there are columns spread throughout the room as well.

And then to the south was that antechamber you came through, and then to the west was that baptismal room, and then to the east was like that dressing room.

I don't know if it's because it's triangular.

I'm having such a hard time picturing the layout of this place.

If you want to come look real fast, you can come look.

Cool.

Thank you.

For certain, because whenever I picture a triangle, I just picture something so small.

Oh, it only has three sides.

I'm just like, how could it all fit in there?

It's

a little triangle.

It's so small.

He's so small.

I'm just a little triangle.

I'm just a baby.

All right, Barney, you're up.

So, Count von Broth Brath, he started casting a spell, presumably.

Yes.

How far away is he from me?

From where you are, let's call it about 35 feet or so.

And then, what's the rest of the people doing?

Is there someone specific?

Just, I mean, what's the general vibe with this, like, him coming and letting Eddie letting the guy out?

And it's like...

It's very chaotic.

A lot of the counts and countesses that, you know, were sitting down orderly before, you know, they were kind of caught off guard by all these accusations.

And now they're making for the exit and running.

Dracula seems confused about what's going on.

Which I imagine he would be on our side.

Maybe.

Is there anyone else specific you're curious about?

Barney?

Or Chris?

I'm sorry.

And Eddie, what's he doing?

He's still laughing maniacally.

He's the one who let Hugh go out.

How does it work?

Do you guys need a sleep?

He stole my D20, okay?

Ah!

Thank you.

Blaine stole my D20.

That's going to be replaced by Andrew, anyways.

I did a live-action sleight of hands where John was looking away and I just swiped his D20.

And I knew he had it, so you failed.

No, you didn't know.

Perception.

So you said 35 feet or?

About 35 feet.

About 35?

40 feet.

Okay.

50 feet?

Just get it.

Get it.

Get it.

Now you're 50?

Man, okay.

Then what Barney is going to do

is he's going to come forward towards Count Von Broth, right?

Von Brath.

Von Brath.

He's going to go forward and he's going to try and shoot the count with his crossbow.

His name's Hugo too, if that's easy to do.

Hugo.

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah, I'll start on that.

Okay, making a tack roll.

It's 24.

Believe it or not, that hits.

So your crossbow bolt fires out, striking Count Von Brah.

That's five damage plus.

Let me read it real quick.

While you're attacking, Hugo pulls out a tiny little silver bell from out under his cloak and rings it.

And it really fascinates you and attracts your attention, distracting you.

Ooh.

Can we roll your attack roll?

He pulls out a silver bell?

Yeah.

Silver bell.

Hugo does.

Yep.

silver bells there's no safe for that i'm just distracted now yeah well you know you have to make it you re-roll your attack roll gotcha it's like lucky i rolled a one oh you taught gus to put lucky on the box what have i done i rolled a one yeah the the bell was really distracting so your crossbow bolt actually flies wide okay killing alga's mom

yeah who does it hit

who does it hit just hits the wall and then clatters down to the ground all right well then for my uh sorry one second that threw my because i threw my thing off excellent war everything's going according to plan i want to do uh cast uh spiritual weapon can you attack and cast or is that a bonus weapon

spiritual weapon yeah and i'm gonna cast that i guess this highest level i can which i guess is

not high Oh, and I'll take the form of a, I guess, a stake.

Okay.

Like a ribbon?

A porter house?

What are you talking about here?

How many times?

How many times?

It does sound like that every time.

That was a 15 to attack him.

Attacking Hugo again?

Hugo.

Yeah, that misses.

Man, that stinks.

And then, Stinker.

He

teleports up to.

He can teleport?

Yeah, he can teleport.

That's cool.

He teleports to.

Could Dutch teleport?

Yeah, all the time.

He teleports to behind the count and then attacks him.

Okay, kill Stinker.

Got it.

Bye, Stinker.

You're a good boneby.

You've probably got got like five HP.

He can go 40 feet with that.

Okay.

And I don't know.

I'm asking you.

Would that be like a surprise or like a...

No.

No?

Okay.

And then, so it looks like his...

Did I just roll D20?

Is that work?

Yeah.

Okay.

You try to figure out like his two hit.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Let's roll it.

We'll see if we're close.

We'll figure it out.

Come on, Stinker.

Come on.

Ah, one!

Stinker!

Stinker nuts!

Stinker bites his own tug.

He bites his own tail.

He gets distracted.

That's also only bone.

Yeah, the anatomy of this skeleton dog is just befuddling.

Yeah.

That's a good word.

Bing.

And then, I guess

that's it.

Hugo has the upper hand.

All right, that's it for you.

It is Eddie's turn.

After Eddie is Avina, then Matit.

All enemies then exist.

So

just a quick question before we get to Avina's turn.

So during this whole like trial thing, when they were speaking up for Count Von Breath, Avina tries to call out Countess Von Brath.

Yes.

So I'm like, is she on our side, on their side?

Like, who is she fighting with or for?

Shot and Eddie's side, right?

Because if she's like, here's the chance to defend our father, but she's...

She's Daddy's girl.

Oh, but she...

She also has all those incantations.

Because Countess Von Brath is trying to get him free.

So maybe Countess Von Brath is also evil.

So maybe

Avina.

Was she trying to get him free?

Wasn't she?

Yeah, wasn't she?

Oh, wait.

No, did she not speak up?

She didn't speak.

It was Avina.

Avina spoke against her.

Her mom, saying, like, she's the one who's going to be aware of her.

Countess Von Brath was about to start trying to speak when Avaina interrupted her.

But I'm also confused:

does something happen to Count Von Brath to make him this way?

Because like, for me, Elga doesn't remember him being baddie.

Baddie Daddy.

Baddie or Batty?

Oh.

D.

Bad.

Not bad.

Anyways, sorry.

Oh, good.

I like this.

Luckily, for your questions, Evaina acts before you, so maybe you'll get some clarity on the motivation.

I was going to say, get some insight.

So it's Eddie's turn.

You see him charge straight for Dracula and run right at him.

He runs up to Dracula and wraps his arms around him.

Oh, he's hugging.

It's a really sweet hug.

That's crushing Dracula to death a bit.

Oh.

I'm playing D ⁇ D by myself for a minute.

Gus, I don't know if I...

Did I say where I moved?

You didn't say you moved.

Is it too late to say I moved?

Where did you move to?

I wanted to, like, shot and then moved forward towards the count.

How far?

Like, your full movement?

Like, as far as I could go, yeah.

What is that, 30?

30.

Okay, so you'd be about 10 feet away from him at this point.

Okay, yeah.

Eddie, you know, runs up, wraps his arms around Dracula, and begins crushing him.

You hear the sounds of Dracula struggling and fighting against Eddie.

Good thing he's not drunk anymore.

Well, he's not as drunk.

Yeah.

Coherent enough.

It's Evana's turn, and Avaina turns her focus and looks straight at Elga and runs straight at her.

That's not right.

Another hug?

This is not a hug.

Bat fight, bad fight.

Easter!

Your family's all over the place.

Yeah, there's lots of familial drama happening here.

We're like the Kardashians.

Isn't there always?

She is going to do something.

I'm going to roll a die and then we'll talk about it and explain it.

My family's the Kardashians' servants that are treated poorly.

I assume a 27 hits you, Elga.

Hold on.

Hold on.

I actually do want to see if I could use something here.

I have something that I haven't used yet called the Metal of the Horizon back.

No, but it still wouldn't be up to 27.

So it's something that increases my AC by five, but that would make it 20.

So.

Ah, that is really useful.

Yeah.

You might be able to use it again at some point in this combat, but yeah, it wouldn't work in this particular instance.

Okay.

Yeah, you feel Avana bite you.

It does.

Ouch!

Sister, your teeth are a lot sharper than my recall them being.

It does 12 points of psychic damage.

Psychic?

This is gonna go badly.

And make me an intelligent saving throw.

Jeez.

Quickly, fill out the scantron.

17.

17.

17.

You feel like almost like your mental energy draining out through the bite, but you're able to like snap out of it and hold on to it.

There's something about that bite.

It just like really takes hold over you.

Do I recognize that feeling?

It's very much like...

Like my dream?

Yeah, it's reminiscent of that dream you had.

I wish you didn't mean.

I woke up with the bite marks, huh?

Yes.

Okay.

That's not...

I don't...

I don't like that.

That's really not cool.

Mate, it's your turn.

After Mateed is Countess von Brath and then Elka.

Okay.

Farnie, Farney.

Bardone, I'm wondering if you'd let me use an item as a bonus action.

Maybe.

What What is it?

Let's talk about it.

We just talked about it.

I want to use the jar of the jackal.

I've had this thing since Carthage.

Carcadook, yeah.

And I specifically want to use this because I've noticed that a friend of mine, Monsieur Amy,

he looks like a glass that is one-fifth full.

Yeah, I'm not feeling too good.

He does not have much HP.

And what this thing does is it lets me open up and a spectral jackal leaps forth and releases a blessing.

And the blessing gives gives him a plus three on AC

for one minute.

Okay, yeah, we'll stay.

Go for it.

Bonus action.

You also don't need food or drink or air.

I hold my breath.

For one minute.

For one minute.

Yeah, so I use the blessing of the jackal.

And he, a little doggy, goes and kisses his face.

It wait, like, like, like,

yeah.

Oh, that's cute.

It's very cute.

I enjoy it.

And then what I do is with my action, is I

don't like that Eddie, man.

How far is he?

You were seated near the back.

Yes, I was.

If I recall correctly, let me do my.

That's where the best acoustics are.

Your favorite thing that I do, count.

You're about, let's call it about 60 feet away.

That's a good thing, because I think...

Nay, dang it, it's 50 feet away.

But,

I forgot I have projectiles.

Haha!

But I will

get like 20 feet from Eddie.

Okay, So you move up about 40.

I don't think that does anything.

It just makes me feel better to not be right on him.

Fair enough.

And I will hit him with Sling of the Sandstorms.

I was wondering why you were giving him odds.

I was waiting.

I was testing.

Yeah, I'll hit him with Sling of the Sandstorms.

And I will use...

Oh, shoot.

No, I don't want to do that.

But I will expend the charges for Ancient Sands, which will give me...

Oh, I can do this on the successful attack.

So I'll just go and attack and see if I do this.

If not, it don't matter what those things do

and this is on eddie correct yeah or ed or eddie or edward edward yep eddington oh poopies 12.

that does not hit i'll try again inspo die no two attacks oh oh 11

believe it or not also i missed

i do have inspiration attack fine fine fine fine maybe not fine No, y'all gonna lose.

Top of the fight?

That's silly.

Do it.

Okay.

You can just make Gus laugh again and he'll give you another one.

He gives him all the candy.

He loves him.

Oh, your inspiration dies.

See, there he goes again.

Okay, inspiration dies.

Zas is 15.

No.

Are you kidding me?

Sometimes you sometimes it's just not there.

I am sorry.

Finally, things are going our way, Micah.

No.

You shouldn't want this.

Hooray.

We're the heroes.

We're your characters.

That's all my turn then.

All right.

I sit down in a pew and I start reading from the hymnal and I start singing from Our Ma is an awesome maw.

Those Those are way too many bonus actions, John.

And I do the ASL for it because John remembers.

Oh,

I didn't know that about you.

Yeah, that's pretty cool.

They taught us that in scary ghost school.

All right, it's the Countess's turn.

Then after the Countess is Elga.

The Countess will make a B-line straight for Evaina and Elga.

And she tries to separate you two, trying to put herself between Evana's attacks to kind of shield you, Elga.

My mother is the only one who cares about me.

Is Countess von Brath, is she like a big, like, strong adventure lady, or is she like more of a prim and proper type lady?

Like she spent her time traveling, adventuring around Groteth.

Okay.

She knows how to handle herself.

She's an elf.

Cool.

Like hiccups mom.

Huh?

From How to Train a Dragon?

Oh, I never saw her.

She also like left and went adventuring and abandoned her kids for a while.

Spoiler, lad.

Yeah, it kind of is.

Elga, you're up, then after you is Dracula, then Chip.

So what did the mom do?

Metagame-wise, you're gonna have some advantages against attacks against you from Evaina.

But so will Evaina.

She's very supportive of her daughters.

Doesn't want to pick favorites.

How close is Chip to me?

From where you are.

Weren't they right by each other?

Yeah, y'all were really close to each other.

Yeah.

Hi, Elga.

Okay.

Well, first I'm going to rage.

Sister!

You will pay for this!

Rage.

That's good.

Don't get between sisters that are fighting.

And then, could I recklessly attack her?

Do you want to take your form?

Yes.

Thank you for reminding me.

I will take the form.

I did very bad on my turn, and I need you to do good on yours, so I'm here to help.

I'll take the tail.

I'm the support player now.

I gave him AC, and I remind you of your abilities.

Just wait till my turn.

Dog, and I knock him dead.

Big, powerful chip aney.

I hope you don't die with one it.

Am I able to recklessly attack?

Yeah, of course.

Could I do it using my battle axe?

Hey.

Is that the new one?

Yes.

does that with advantage then yes but then attacks against you are also at advantage yeah that's fine i like that elka has so many axes i can say is that the new one and that's it's a valid question i'm gonna use my inspiration to bad roll again would you roll the highest was a 15.

no with advantage go elka you can do it 21.

yeah yes but 21 does hit okay darn it dude that wasn't a critical hit though no no 30 20 it was a 12 plus 9.

so we just saw two little girls attack one bit the other one and the other one pull out a battle axe.

And there's

appropriate response to force.

Hey, that's ROE.

ROE?

Rules of engagement.

Oh, it's true.

If they put one of ours in the hospital, we put one of theirs in the morgue.

Oh.

Where does that align from?

Godfather.

Oh, yeah.

That's a boy movie.

Godfather?

Oh, no, wait, did I roll the wrong thing?

I have two options for my battle axe to roll: either 1d8 plus 6 or 1d10 plus 6.

Probably the two-handed one.

Yeah, you're using a two-handed.

You don't have a shield, so you would roll the d10.

D10.

Okay, so ignore that one.

So it'd be 15 points of damage.

Yay!

That's a good one.

It's made of silver.

Yeah, wasn't it?

Wasn't that the one you got in the

scourge?

Yeah,

yeah.

Gredge.

Where did we go?

The silver dregs.

Dregs.

Avina's not a vampire.

Yeah, she's not.

The only one.

Although, I don't know.

She's acting weird.

Why are you looking at me?

Make her a vampire and then hit her.

She did bite you.

And then, am I able to throw something to someone as a bonus?

I know I had a bonus.

Sure, why not?

Okay.

Chip!

Elga!

I've been wanting to give this to you.

What?

And she tosses her fang frost.

It's happening!

It goes into my chest.

Over to Chip.

Yeah.

Elga, this is the

greatest gift I have ever...

You're mental healthy!

He has to wait until the end of initiative.

So that fang frost should be in the items.

Good moment.

So heroic.

So I'm going to remove it from my inventory.

Okay.

I will add it to mine.

You have my fang frost.

Or I have yours, rather.

You have your fang frost.

My your fang frost.

And then that's my turn.

Good turn.

You know, you hit Evaina, and she angrily, you know, through her gritted teeth, responds to you.

It's about time you knew, sister.

Our father has only ever had one daughter he truly loves.

And then you hear Hugo, hmm, quite right, my dear.

Just look at her.

Elga clearly is no daughter of mine.

No.

Eddie looks straight at you, Matita.

Goes, Daddy issues.

Am I right?

I'm not your friend.

Do not talk to me like that.

Okay, we do not have to be friends.

No, we are not friends.

Elga very secretly and gently starts crying.

Aw, she says some tears coming down.

That's sad.

But she doesn't let them see it.

That's so sad.

It's Dracula's turn.

He's in a grapple.

He's going to roll to see if he gets out of it.

That's a three.

This is Eddie.

That's a 17.

All right.

Dracula is still.

You saw the rules?

They're right in front of you.

The progenator of all vampires couldn't get out of a hole.

Hey, man, sometimes you wake up and you roll a three.

Oh, yeah.

And he has been drinking too.

That's right.

Oh.

And Micah went, look, google.

I was like, what's Micah doing?

Oh, right, right, right.

Micah's drunk at D ⁇ D again.

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Chip, it's your turn.

After Chip is the Sfraud two, then we can go back up to the top with Hugo.

Okay.

Gus.

Yeah, yeah, what?

Buddies.

What?

Friend.

That's me.

I'm Gus.

He's our buddy friend.

I try to speed through my time.

I don't want to hold things up.

I want to keep the flow going.

All right, go with the flow.

But if you can remember back last episode.

Oh, my brain hurts.

I stuck my hand into the cage.

All right.

What?

And then that guy bit it, right?

Into the cage.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Do you remember that?

He attacked me?

What if I did?

He's been like,

he's been like telling shooting.

He's been just like, like, you're butt holding in a fart.

He's been holding in this this heckish rebuke for however long it's been since we did that.

It's a reaction.

It's only been like 10 minutes.

It's a reaction.

It has to happen at the same moment.

Sorry.

I try to enable the fun, but it's been a little too long.

That's okay.

Oh.

Okay.

Well, then I feel the weight of the fang frost in my hand.

Feels good.

Give it a nod to Elga.

And then I go for

her dad.

I don't like that he talks poop about my friend.

Ah!

So I'm going to attack him.

And I have plus sweat to test your AC sweats when someone attacks you.

Oh, that's great, because I need that.

That's what I know.

You're at 10 HP.

Yeah, I thought it was like me attacking them.

I get plus whatever.

Anyway, you see his armor class.

And you'll float.

You have advantage on stuff if people are nearby.

Oh, if people are within five feet, yes.

Yeah, I'm within five feet.

Yeah.

Well, it depends on if it was 35 feet because I went as far up as I could.

Yeah, that would be sneak attack.

Hugo?

Yes, Hugo.

Okay.

So, thank frost.

Here we go.

We.

Which, for those listening, Hugo is Count One Breath.

That's a 19,

but also, I think I get an advantage, right?

I think you should just go.

You can deal an extra 4GP.

You don't need advantage on the attack roll if another enemy of the target is.

I don't think you get advantage, but it hits.

Okay, great.

Cool.

I'm going to attack.

So that's three piercing, and then I roll a

D8

of cold.

Chill out,

dude.

It's a three.

And then I do, what was it, four D6 for sneak attack?

14.

So that's 20.

Okay.

So how is he looking?

Is he dead?

Really?

Really?

He is still dead.

Okay.

That's the only damage he's taken.

And

I had to ask.

And then now I'm going to use cunning action to

hide.

Okay.

I'd.

As my friend is saying.

Make your

stealth wrong.

Okay.

And stealth is with advantage, by the way.

Maybe they were like given those like readings of that ancient stuff and they were brainwashed.

Oh, Barbara's trying to figure this out.

I just like, yeah.

24.

I think Elga just so badly doesn't want to believe that her sister and father are like evil people.

Yeah.

Okay, it's a bummer, dude.

I don't know.

Apparently, if Hugo did that many years ago,

maybe

that's a history.

I found out my sister-in-law, they just used she shoes, and they were not nice, but a little different.

Yeah.

Anyways, my pants are fantastic.

They taught me how to bake.

It's wonderful.

You remember them?

Yeah.

Tell me about them.

I need lore.

John's like, what?

No, no, no.

You can't.

What?

It's someone else's turn.

Now's the perfect time for lore in the middle of a huge boss fight.

24 himself.

Okay, got it.

Thank you.

That's it for your turn.

Oh, oh, I mean, I moved.

What does that mean?

You know, into hiding.

Yeah, you rolled your chill.

24.

Great.

And I said anything else than you said, and you moved into hiding?

I moved.

I'm hiding.

He's just scared to say his turn's over.

Is your turn over?

No, it's it is.

I'm so confused.

Yes, go to the next person.

No, no, no.

It was just like you asked that in a way that's like that you were gonna do something because I forgot to say that

before I start to say what I'm doing.

I was asking.

Okay, good.

Okay.

We're all settled.

It's the Sferachu turn.

Is that okay?

Can I go?

You're talking to me.

Yes, you may go, Kevin.

She's gonna murder you.

All right, there are eight Sferatu around that.

So they're on our side.

I would think they would be.

I'm a Sferatu.

Elga, make me a Arcana check.

No.

Arcana check.

Oh, they're under some spell.

No!

Yeah, that's why the Arcana check.

Man, I rolled from a 16 to a 6.

With advantage.

Yay!

Because

I'll explain in a second.

Nat 20.

Do you think that when your father was casting earlier, you know him so well that you recognize that he's exerting some kind of magical manipulation over the Sferatu.

Gotcha.

Like a charm?

Kind of.

He's using the force.

He has that little bell that he did something with.

So the Sferatu are going to split up and they're going to...

Two of them are going to go after each of you.

I don't think we're walking away from this one, guys.

This seems to be

only level seven.

We've got Eddie and Hugo and Vania, Avania, and Sferatus.

Avina.

And Avina?

Oh, yeah, I keep calling her Vania.

We're in Vania.

That's kind of confusing.

Vania keeps missing me.

Yeah,

this might be the final episode.

Mateet, you recognize this, but one of them conjures a deluge of blood over Barney, and this blood forms like a tidal wave, trying to knock him off of his feet.

Go surfing.

Barney, you make a strength-saving throw.

Surf it.

My father is doing some type of magic on these guys.

We need to dispel it or something.

How's a 14 for surf?

That actually you almost get knocked off of your feet, but you put your walker down and lean into it.

Cool.

And you manage to maintain your feet against the tidal wave of blood.

I'm just imagining the scene from The Shining where the elevator opens up, but Barney surfs out.

Gross.

Another one casts a fog cloud that's obscuring the area you're in, Barney.

And I guess actually this is big enough it would obscure the area chips in as well.

Good.

It doesn't mean it's just obscure.

Yeah, it just kind of makes it difficult to see a bit.

A Mate,

you get a couple of attacks on you here.

And you get a sprawl too.

And you get us fraught too.

I'm good.

One of them hits.

Didn't even ask.

Oh, it's an 18 plus 6, 24.

Okay, it hits.

Yeah.

One of them bites you, doing

six points of piercing damage.

Okay, that's not so bad.

And

what?

Nine points of necrotic damage.

No, I'm resistant to necrotic.

Are you?

I am.

I'm dead.

Ah.

So if if you're resistant, you take half.

Yeah.

So you take four.

Okay.

So six, four, ten.

Elga, you kind of get the same thing.

Ooh, one of them's gonna do something a little different there.

Go for it.

It's gonna stunt on you.

Do an ollie.

Do a kick flip.

Parkour.

One of them runs up close to you, pulls out a knife, and cuts its own palm.

Oh.

And a splatter of boiling hot blood shoots forth at you.

Make a constitution saving throw.

Gross.

This must be for the hide-in-the-sink that he didn't get chased by.

Yeah, he's mad at me.

23.

Oh, I think that actually succeeds.

Yeah, you make it.

So the hot blood goes all over you, but nope, nothing bad.

Ah, a nice warm cup of soup.

Grouse.

Tomato soup.

And then

Chip.

Oh, they might not see Chip.

Chip's role was really good.

Let me see if they actually even see him.

Between your stealth and the fog cloud interfering, they don't actually even see you, Chip.

I am the night.

They do hear that, though.

What there is!

All right, so that means that back up to the top, it's Hugo's turn.

You all see Hugo pulls out a sapphire gemstone and crushes it on the lid of the silver coffin.

The coffin explodes into a silvery mist, and in its place is an old coffin now, labeled Count Vlod.

When Eddie sees this, he drops dragged to the ground and begins running for the new coffin.

Count Vlod?

Who is that again?

That was the guy that Eddie pulled the casket from, if Eddie was the dude in Sepulchre.

Pulling that casket out of that yeah oh yeah what's the significance of this coffin over the other ones though don't know but you said Eddie's running towards it now yeah can I trip him wait wait does he open an attack of opportunity get an attack of opportunity yeah

yeah attacks of opportunity then yeah

yeah who is he next to I believe he was within range of Barney and Chip and stinker and stinker and he's also running towards you said so if we're looking at the triangle it's like the top of the triangle

okay okay well Fang Frost all day.

All day or day.

Did you roll it?

Oh.

Yeah, roll your attacks opportunity.

Do I get any additional stuff because I'm coming out of stealth?

Oh my god, that's a nat 20, Gus.

No.

You're near the yellow.

So that rolled a eight.

One of those rolls was already maximum damage, so we're going to go with that.

Eight.

K plus a D8 of ice damage.

So that's five.

And then because I'm within five feet, can I proc sneak attack and all that stuff?

Even though it's a reaction.

I'm seeing some head shaking yeah I think sneak attack you cannot do because that that's a specific thing that has to be on your turn I think you cannot use it as part of your reaction for an attack of opportunity what if I said please goose okay no no no if anything that would make it takes it away you never get to do it again all right Barney attack of opportunity yeah so I'm gonna have Warcaster right and don't forget if it's a ranged spell since you're at melee range it's gonna be a disadvantage gotcha and he's running towards the coffin?

Yeah, correct.

And how far away is the coffin?

It's actually really close.

It's probably only like 10 feet away.

I love my fake frost.

Thank you, Barbara slash Elga.

I like to imagine Chip's already engraved his name into it.

Like he pulled out like his little

tools.

Those two cool knife chicks, you know, like flipping it and...

Yeah, so ranged attacks if they're up close to disadvantage.

Even like cantrips and stuff.

Level of spell doesn't matter.

Okay.

You know, just swing your walker at him.

Remember, it's just an attack of opportunity.

Yeah, we don't need him.

I'm hitting him with my

walker.

I'll try to keep him from walking by hitting him with my walker.

All right.

Walker.

Barney Ranger.

Barney swings his walker.

That's a 20.

AC20, which is a hit.

Do I have a shield on?

Break his kneecaps.

I do, so okay, I can't do.

Oh!

10 damage.

Oh, that's a maximum damage.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Get him meet him.

And then stinker's gonna attack.

Okay.

I thought stinker was by Dracula, though.

But he's right by where Barney is.

It's such a tight space, they're all in pretty much the same area.

He rolled a 12.

I don't think he's gonna have enough.

Let me see here.

Plus three, that's a 15.

No, that does not make it.

His bite is plus three, by the way.

Okay.

Thank you.

So Eddie takes a good amount of damage, but that guy, he's a little off his rocker.

I don't know if you noticed that.

No.

He's off my walker.

And he just laughs and continues moving towards the coffin.

Once Eddie reaches the coffin, he uses his claws to shred it to pieces, and it seems to have an effect on Dracula, leaving him frozen on the ground.

Hugo at this point walks over to Dracula, and as he's doing so, he's unsheathing a silver rapier.

Sheath, huh?

I'll remember that.

And you hear him saying, Vlad, Vlad, Vlad.

You've always been too inflexible.

Don't get me wrong.

I'm a stickliff at etiquette, but there's one thing I've learned over the years.

Always stick to your gut, no matter what it wants.

It just so happens my gut wants to stick yours with this.

And Hugo runs his silver rapier through Dracula's torso.

The impaled vampire collapses to the ground, writhing in pain.

You.

You have no idea.

Dracula exhales and his body turns to ash.

Eddie seems to really get a kick out of this.

Speaking of reunions, I was hoping to be there when Carol finally kicked the bucket.

Did she mention me, Chip?

After all, I gave her a friendly gift.

And believe me, I paid a pretty penny for that belt.

Hugo doesn't work for cheap.

I'm gonna end you.

You're-I got your name, Eddie!

I will end you!

Keeping his cool.

Clayton's eyebrow was twitching as he just said that.

Wait, so he...

He paid Hugo to make the belt.

Is that what he was implying?

Get a belt?

So Hugo is the one who makes those belts.

Your dad.

Oh, man.

Crisis.

Also, I guess Vlad is Dracula's name.

Vlad the Impaler, right?

Yes.

Because he called him Vlad.

Yeah.

Okay.

So that's Dracula.

That's a good connection.

Yeah.

Just want to clear that up in case we're still like, who's Vlad?

Yeah, actually, I figured that.

So his coffin is...

his power where's your daddy's yeah i'll uh wait for my turn but we should probably see if there's other coffins in here hugo that was his turn yeah that's how he's gonna do it right now barney you're up then after barney is eddie then a vena so that was hugo's turn yes and now eddie is he just shredded up the the coffin and then like stabbed dracula hugo stabbed dracula but yeah

yeah eddie just messed the the coffin up how far away is hugo he's pretty close to you at this point probably 15 feet okay then can I try and take my chains?

Those chains that I have.

The silver ones?

I thought you used those to put them on Dracula.

I think he started to, but then that's when Dracula stirred and woke up.

Okay.

So, like, I would think that Barney would have reclaimed them.

Okay.

And can I try and put them on Hugo?

Sure.

I would say you'd have to, you know, move up close to within melee range, and we can figure out some roles for that.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So you move up and you pull the chains out and try to use them on him.

Just make like an unarmed strike.

Okay.

23.

You get close and begin pulling the chains out.

And once again, Hugo pulls out that little bell and rings it, distracting you.

Rero your attack roll.

That was a good roll, too.

10.

I don't like that bell.

Once again, there's something about that bell.

It just like pulls your attention, and you look away for a second, and he steps aside as you try to put the chains where he was standing a second ago.

I'm going to eat that bell.

What?

I'm going to eat that bell somehow.

That's how Barney died.

Could.

Just ding-a-l-d-ling.

Weird question.

When he has that bell up, could I use my bonus action to use my Mage Hand to try and grab the bell from him?

Is that even possible?

You can cast Magehan as a bonus action?

Yeah, because of my telekinetic feet.

I'll let you try it.

I will say it'll probably be difficult because Magehan can only move like 10 pounds and most people can overpower that.

Yeah, I was going more for like the surprise element.

Like all of a sudden he's like ringing.

Yeah.

I'm just telling you, we can figure it out and you can try it, but it's probably going to be a long shot just because Magean is so weak.

So do you get a 20?

Personally, it happens.

All right.

I'll try it.

And I'm going to eat that bell.

Eat the bell.

Yeah, I'll just try that.

I'm going to try and get that bell with my mage hand.

Yeah.

You cast Magehand.

Go ahead and make like a...

Russ roll a D20.

We'll call it an unarmed strike with the Magehand.

Okay.

Ding, ding.

Even though it's not really an attack.

We're just trying to see if you'll be able to grab it.

That 20!

25!

Guys, what do you do now, hot shot?

What do you do?

The bell rings distracting the...

No, no, no, no.

I'm going to roll something for me.

This is just for me.

How many bells does he have on his person?

All right, yeah.

Your mage hand grabs the tiny little silver bell.

Eat it.

And then does it.

I tried to get you not to do that.

I can't believe

it actually worked.

Can I?

Too generous, Gus.

I rolled a D20 myself.

If I had a good roll, I would have objected, but I rolled an eight.

I gotcha.

How far away is Mateed?

Mateed had stayed, I want to say, about 20 feet away, and then they moved.

So from where you are, probably about 30 feet.

All right.

Well, then, that should should be just enough for me to take the bell to Mateed.

You will provoke attacks of opportunity.

A geef.

With the hand, though?

If the hand does not.

Oh, the hand does it.

Sorry.

The hand.

You said I will, so I was thinking Barney was going to do it.

Could it go that far?

Yeah, 30 feet.

Oh, yeah, the hand did just do something, though.

What am I supposed to do with this bell?

A geefed.

Yeah, well,

it appeared, grabbed the thing, and then I'm trying to give it to Mateed.

I think you can do that.

Well, I can't eat it on the same turn.

I'm going to have to eat it on another turn.

Could you just take in your your possession yeah i'm worried about them trying okay i'll just put it in my my possession or if chip is closer you can put it in his bum bag or if you give it to me they can bake it into a nice cake high in iron silver bell uh the thing comes back and i guess goes into barney's nether regions what

you drop it in your pants yeah okay it's i i it's hidden don't have to say nether regions yeah just other ways to say that well i wanted it somewhere where it couldn't be taken back okay what else barney i guess you fart and we just hear dealing

Yeah, I mean, I guess he's gonna stay there.

I mean, when I had the bell, did I get anything from it?

Or is it just look like a regular bell?

It just looks like a regular silver bell.

All right.

That's it.

Okay, it's Eddie's turn, then Evaina, then Mate.

Hmm, Eddie has a few people around him.

Oh, I could be really mean, and I'm gonna do it.

I didn't just take your bell.

He didn't say who he'd be mean.

Ooh, okay.

Yeah, Eddie goes up to Stinker.

Oh.

Oh, wait.

Stinker didn't get his turn.

Okay, what's Stinker gonna do before he dies?

I have a question real quick.

Yeah.

The teleport says recharge four to six.

What does that mean?

Like four to six turns?

You roll a d6, and if you get between a four and a six, it recharges.

Okay.

Three?

No, it does not recharge.

Okay.

I rolled a four.

Can I tell you?

No.

He's going to attack Hugo.

Okay.

And I will roll 12.

That misses.

It's okay.

You're a good dog.

For now.

All right.

Eddie goes over to Stinker.

He makes a claw attack.

He has claws?

Yeah.

Corrosive claws.

Hitting 19.

That hits.

Oh.

Doing 16 points of slashing damage.

Stinker is still up, but it also does a little bit of poison damage.

That's 20 points of poison damage.

Literally.

So Stinker falls unmoving to the ground, which just makes Eddie laugh.

So all you make a wisdom saving throw.

Everybody?

Yeah, I'll for you.

Yeah, 17.

10.

14.

11.

Yeah, there's something super creepy.

This has happened to you before, actually.

There's something super creepy about Eddie's laughter that makes all of you frightened.

Nope.

You don't get frightened?

Nope.

Except for my teeth, but T's not frightened.

Wait, I rolled a 17?

That's a little.

Not enough.

Oh, and I will say, the Countess covers your ears, Elga.

Oh, earmuffs.

And puts earmuffs on you, so it doesn't affect you either.

Barney takes out his hearing aids.

So Barney and Chip are frightened.

Thank you, Mother.

You widow scared?

Woke.

Frightened of him?

Yeah.

Your condition is frightened.

I just want to make sure who we were frightened of.

Yeah, and if you look, there is a specific condition you can toggle.

That'll affect it.

Alright, that's it.

Evana.

So you can't willingly move closer to him.

Right.

Evana, at that point, since the Countess, you know, is using her hands to cover your ears, Elga.

It kind of opens her up to attack, and Avena takes her moment and she scrambles behind the Countess and begins trying to bite her in the back of the neck.

Would that provoke an attack opportunity from me?

Yeah, actually, it would.

Go ahead and make an attack there.

So, what would that be?

Just you make an attack roll with your axe.

Just an attack roll.

Mm-hmm.

Okay.

Doesn't matter which axe.

You would use the same one you used before.

It was already in your hand.

The bat toll.

17.

Yeah, that is him.

Cool.

And I'm still raging.

Yep.

So that would do 16 plus two, 18 points of damage.

Yeah, you slash at her as she darts past you, kind of like clambering up your mother's back, and begins trying to bite at the back of her neck.

Your sister saw.

You sit off mother!

I was a fan of her.

I'm not a fan of her.

That's gone.

When were you a fan of her?

He liked when she was being sassy earlier.

Matie liked that.

One of them hits.

On a Countess?

Yeah, on the Countess, doing some damage.

That's a decent amount.

How many members of your family are you ready to lose today?

You know,

it's really complicated.

Three up for grabs.

Do we count Quiffley in there?

Where's Quiffly?

Where is Quifflin?

Quickly should be helping.

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So she sinks her teeth into the back of Countess von Brath's neck and the countess falls to the ground.

Vena looks at you, Elga, just rage in her eyes.

Elga, we never did finish our game earlier.

Perhaps we can settle this the old-fashioned way.

She bears her teeth at you and hisses.

Does it look like she has like vampire fangs when she does that?

It doesn't look like it.

She's weird.

Maybe you should take out some of those teeth.

Mate, Mateed, you're up then Elga.

The Sferatus are on my butt?

Yeah, there's some everywhere.

Are the Sferatus a humanoid?

They're like humanoid bats.

Yeah, but are they...

Oh, are they classified?

Classified.

Don't think so, no.

Well, you should.

Eddie is.

Yeah, but I don't think I could do this to Eddie.

Well, then, I

banish or attempt to banish.

Let's say your sister.

Yeah, let's do that.

She's timeout.

She's a nuisance.

I cast banishment with my really cool fork.

And she has to do a DC saving throw of 14.

Charisma, 14.

Charisma 4.

I'm hoping she's low on charisma.

Her charisma is plus 6.

Okay, I made a bad call, everybody.

She needs an eight or better.

I'm going to need a mulligan on this one.

I should roll a five.

She fails.

I did it.

Yeah, she's going to.

Australia.

If I send her there, could Jack beat her up?

Maybe.

And Hoover.

Yeah.

I mean, she is a little brat, and I don't think Jack would really appreciate that.

So yeah.

I don't think she got her visa.

Okay, so I banish her to Australia, and then...

And that lasts for a minute?

Yeah.

You, uh, yeah, you banish her.

Your weird sister is gone, which is very nice.

I'm a lonely child.

For a minute.

Then, what I'm going to do is I'm going to...

That was a...

Is it an action?

So you cast banishment.

So that's an action.

It was an action?

Yeah.

It doesn't perform the banishment on its own.

It gives you the ability to cast banishment.

Yeah.

So you cast banishment.

Yeah, I just don't know if like with attacks, if it's an attack or if it's just an action.

It's an act.

It costs an action, so then what I will do with my bonass is to stinker?

I hate that.

I will cast visage of the astral self, which also procs arms of the astral self, and I am glowing and glorious.

And everybody within 10 feet must succeed on a DC saving throw at 14 or take some force damage.

So So, is that everyone?

Including us?

No, I mean, like, all of them.

I don't think it's you people.

I think it's my people.

Each creature of your choice.

So, anybody who's a no-no, who's within 10 feet of me, needs to do that, Jip.

It's going to be Hugo, Eddie, and Force Ferratu.

Oh, that's cool.

Who's Ferratu's?

My Sferatu.

I knew that, but like, which you assigned two to each of us.

I couldn't help it.

It's gonna be the ones close to Mate and the ones close to you, Chip.

Okay.

Aye, thank you.

And what do they need to make on this?

Dex say 14.

Only two of them make it.

And I'm going to roll randomly to see which two.

So one on Mate and one on Chip.

Okay, but Hugo fails?

Yeah.

Cool.

Everyone, did just the same damage for everybody?

Yeah.

Okay, nine points of force damage.

Nine points of force damage.

Thank you.

Why not?

And then, since the banishment was my action, does my bonus action.

I don't think there's any other abilities that this causes.

I will hang there and look very, very cool.

It's true.

Okay, fantastic.

For Mate,

that that means it is Elga.

You're up.

Then after Elga is Chip.

So now, I guess, Avina's gone.

Yeah, she's gone.

Temporarily.

So it's now just me and my mom.

Yeah, who she's laying on the ground currently.

Could I help her up?

Yeah, you look at her, and it looks to you like she's unconscious.

Okay, I guess that bite was pretty bad.

Okay, so do I know if Count Von Bra, I think Hugo's coffin is in this room?

It does not appear to be.

I think they were all in the sepulcher.

Yeah, you did see it.

You took a nap in it.

Yeah.

Because remember, that's where they said they were all sleeping.

And that's why Vlods is in here because he brought Vlods.

Right.

That's why I said earlier, if you couldn't figure it out, you're going to figure out who that battler was during this conversation.

There we go.

Okay, so I am going to instead, I'm going to try to cast hold person

on Hugo.

Why do you have that?

I don't know.

I just do.

I think I was able to pick this from something.

Okay.

So he's doing one of the levels ups, I believe.

Yeah.

Do it.

So I choose a humanoid that I could see within range.

I will say he is not classified as a humanoid.

He isn't?

No.

He's not a humanoid.

What is he?

Well, you would know.

It's not like a big mystery or anything.

He's undead.

So am I not a humanoid?

Not classification-wise.

I guess not.

Huh.

Okay.

Never mind.

It's complicated with you, right?

Because you're a half-elf vampire.

So the half-elf part of you is humanoid, but you're a vampire, which makes you not humanoid.

Gotcha.

I would say say use that when it's advantageous.

Yeah.

We can toe that line when we get to it.

You're like, sorry, that only works on humanoids.

I'm not a humanoid.

Not today.

Not on Thursdays.

Okay, sorry, this messes up everything I was going to do.

No.

Okay.

You are raging.

How far is Eddie from me now?

From where you are, he moved to the coffin.

You were over there.

Probably only like 25 feet or so.

Okay.

I would like to go attack him.

I'll do it.

So I will run up to him.

Eddie.

Move up to him.

And I will use my bat toll axe.

That is a 25?

Yeah.

Yeah.

And then that does

nine points of damage.

Okay.

And then...

I'm going to do it again.

Elga.

Elga, she's our van.

She can't do it.

28.

Let's go camp.

That hits.

Doing an additional

14 points of damage.

Yeah.

That was Eddie.

Eddie.

Yeah, Eddie's.

Eddie's taking a beating.

Not going to lie.

And then as a bonus action, I would also like to cast Hunter's Mark on Eddie.

Okay.

So I choose a creature I could see within range, and I mark it as my Corrie.

Uh-oh.

I should have done this before, but until the spell ends, I deal an extra 1d6 of damage on the target whenever I hit it with a weapon attack.

What if Barbara casts that before she?

What if I did it before?

I know, I should have done that before.

I forgot it was available as a bonus.

What if our dean was like, ah, it's fine,

no big deal?

Just say Broccoli.

Broccoli.

All right, well, I thought you did cast it.

I'm pretty sure you did.

Yeah.

So I do just a extra each attack.

So an extra D6.

So I'll just roll two D6s.

Yeah.

They were both six.

So an extra 12 points of damage.

Yeah.

You got to roll your damage after he says you get it.

And then I also want to say I also have advantage on any wisdom perception or wisdom survival check I make to find this person.

Okay.

Cool.

That's a good turn.

Okay, that was a really good turn.

Chip, Europe, then the Sfra 2.

Okay, so I know that with my condition of being frightened, I can't directly attack Eddie, right?

Yeah, you have disadvantage.

Disadvantage on Eddie, but what about that doesn't apply to Dracula.

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Hugo.

Hugo.

Correct.

Okay, so, and then I have to ask a couple of questions leading up to this.

I promise we'll be off.

Argentina.

How'd you know?

I have the cone of cold with my new fangled thingfrost for my friend Velka.

Youth of World Tip.

Yes, of course.

Why did I sound like that?

60-foot cone, so that's a lot of parroting.

Can I like angle it in a way that I'm able to get

focused on Hugo, but also catch Eddie?

Yeah, you should be able to do that.

Yeah.

Okay, then I'll do that.

And basically, a blast of cold air erupts from your hands.

Ca-chow!

Each creature is in a 60-foot cone must make a constitution saving throw.

A creature takes 8d8 cold damage on a failed save or half as much damage on a successful one.

8, 8, 8, 8, 8, 8, eights, eight, eight.

This is constitution 13.

Okay, this is, I'm gonna roll Hugo first.

He has a plus three.

That is a 21.

And then I'll roll Eddie, which has a plus two.

Not very good.

That is a seven.

So Hugo succeeds, Eddie fails.

Cool.

Eight, eights, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight, eight.

Eddie.

Oh, I see some eights.

I see some sevens.

I see a one, though.

34.

34.

So 34 on Eddie, 17 on Hugo, correct?

That's quick math.

That's fast math.

You're good.

Look at Hugo.

Wow.

You're an inspiration bag.

You're so handsome when you do math.

Stop it.

Wow, look at that.

Oh, my God.

Beautiful.

It's exactly how high school didn't go against it.

Did you use a new product in your hair today?

Because this is looking quite full.

He's actually, he's demanding us to stop this.

Gus is so nice to us.

Now he's going to be mean.

Those new glasses, they really accentuate your brow.

I just kicked barney's dog

so i used that fang frost that's my one time being able to chill yeah how do they look they look on ice okay not good i couldn't think of a good punishment

and then i'm going to i'm going to hide roll me that stealth check okay advantage advantage advantage advantage kbh always be hiding that's an 11 i can do better That's a

17, 17.

All right.

It's better.

It's not bad.

I I could roll my inspiration die, but.

No, I'd say hold that there.

Okay, 17.

Okay.

That's it for you, Chip.

I hide.

Yeah, you said 17.

Yeah, declaring it.

I hate trying to end your turn with you because you always think I'm trying to pull something, pull a fast one on you.

Why, are you trying to?

I move.

I move.

Oh, yeah.

You can make another save to see.

Now that at the end of your turn, you can make another save to see if your frightened condition goes away.

And that was a wisdom.

Let's make a wisdom save.

Okay.

What's the chat?

We'll see if he gets it.

18.

Oh, so close.

Really?

It's a 19.

Wow.

Did I have to roll a net 20 because I have a minus one to wisdom.

Believe it or not, Chip's got a minus one to wisdom.

Can you believe it?

But

it's why you keep bad perception checks.

What?

You think that?

Yes.

Why did you tell me this earlier?

We're going to go back up to the top of the order here with Hugo.

He's now bell-less.

He has no bell.

And he's cold.

And he's cold.

And he's a little cranky now.

Took his bell, you made him cold.

Messing with his plans, being a little speed bump.

And you see Hugo begin like whispering and muttering under his breath.

And all of you can hear it in your head.

While we're at it, everyone make me a charisma saving throw.

Just ancillary to this.

Also, I have an advantage against being charmed, by the way.

Okay.

In case that's something.

Let me look.

I don't think this is a charm.

No, it's not a charm.

19.

14.

11.

19 for Matid, 9 for Elga, 14 for Barney, 11 for Chip.

Yes.

Okay, we'll deal with that in a second.

Actually, let me deal with that first.

I don't know.

You do you.

You told me.

I mean, I rolled a nine, so whatever is going to happen is going to happen to me at least two.

Yeah, and 14 to 10.

We don't know.

You're already frightened.

Who cares?

I'm about to die.

That's why I care.

Oh, that's right.

Are you going to use an inspiration dungeon?

Yes, I am.

Okay.

That's all he needed

was for Gus to push him on it.

And by push, I mean acknowledge it.

Charisma?

Yeah.

Because I really think you should.

What'd you you roll you rolled a 10 oh all right mate you're the only one who succeeded on it that's okay i figured i'll carry everyone else takes some psychic damage yikes is it more than 10 17.

are you dead

i am oh no

no you are incapacitated i have i have

so would i take half if i'm raging but it's not piercing no it

goes through that Yeah.

That's mainly for like physical attacks.

17 points, you said?

Yeah.

Yeah.

So then like my stuff where I can like take half damage by what was it, uncanny dodge or whatever.

I don't think that's

this is charisma.

Okay.

And then like my clothes.

You know, does not do anything.

All right.

So yeah, like I said, Hugo's muttering and you can hear it in your brain.

So Chip, I guess you're dreaming of this.

Yep.

My, my, this certainly is a round of reunions we have here.

It's so lovely to be surrounded by old friends, isn't it, Varney?

But that's alright.

Your family was much more amiable.

Oh, and talk about attentive.

For years, they've been waiting on my every beck and call.

And the deed, it's so good to see you again.

Or see through you again.

Oh, I'm just teasing, my feathered friend.

Besides, we both know what trouble that nosy beak of yours got you in last time we met.

Talk about a grave mistake, hmm?

Then there's Elga.

Sweet, innocent little Elga.

I'm so glad it was me who got to inject some feigned fury into that frilly demeanor of yours.

Who knew such a kind little girl was born to be a vicious vampire?

Or I suppose Reborn would be more apt.

Looks at Chip.

And then...

Hmm.

I don't think we've officially met, but I'm a huge fan of your wife's work.

Oh, sorry.

Late wife, isn't it?

My mistake.

Once again, you feel your feet jostle as the entire tower begins to quake and rumble.

What's going on?

Bro, there's way too much lore that just dropped out right there.

Then with a crack, the floor splits in half, like a seam on a tattered tunic.

Everyone Everyone makes a dexterity saving throw.

What about Chip's corpse?

Does he make a dexterity saving throw?

No, no, no.

Um, I have advantage on deck-saving throws.

Yep, you get it.

Okay.

Great, so when you pass yours, can you grab my body before it falls into the crevice?

I should.

Sure, but.

Is any allies near me with M5P?

Chip?

Uh, I rolled an 18 on them.

Okay.

26.

Nice.

13.

I don't roll, right?

No, you don't.

You're already on the ground, so it's fine.

Your body just goes freaking.

Elga, you look down and see your silver locket is shattered into pieces as it falls to the ground.

It must have fallen from your pack.

You see the picture inside has fallen out on the ground, but it's a different picture.

You look closer and see you in a family portrait, but it's not your family.

You're standing next to a strapping Elven woman, two boys wrestling with each other, and you're looking up smiling at a balding man wearing glasses.

While you're looking down, Elga, Eddie charges straight at you, ramming into you.

And make me a dexterity saving throw.

Me?

Yeah.

With advantaged?

Yes.

That 20.

There you go.

22.

You roll pretty well.

You're expecting it, but it still kind of throws you off your feet a little bit with the ground shaking and everything.

And you begin falling off of the ledge into the fissured floor, but at the last second, you're able to deftly grab the crumbling ledge.

And as you dangle on the verge of falling, a pale hand reaches out over the edge.

Here, take hold of my hand.

I shall pull you to safety.

You look past the hand and see a sneering Hugo wearing a black top hat and a red ascot.

Whew!

I just just got some deja vu.

A sinking feeling plummets in your stomach like you've been in this situation before.

And with a rumble, the entire vamp spire shakes violently, and the stone walls begin to crack and buckle under the tremendous pressure.

And before you know it, the whole tower starts to fall over with all of you inside.

Tiny hut

Does the tiny hut come out in time?

You're gonna have to find out in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Is Barney Oga's dad?

Sorry.

I think he might be.

Oh, no.

I am your father.

All right, we'll find out more in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

What the heck?

Bye.

What?

There are many ways little stinkers can support this show, commenting on social media, rating us on podcast services, interacting with us on Discord, or telling friends about the show by word of mouth.

Stinkers like Eurotyrek, you're Erotark, Euro Tyrk, you know who you are, Ryan Elpecador, Whiskey Tango, Kira's Coffee Cup, and the Real Decoy.

Quick shout out to a couple of our friends who voiced NPCs in this episode.

Eddie, voiced by Andrew Rosas at Mr.

Andrew Rosis, Count Dracula, voiced by Andre Olette at Andre Krot, Count Hugo von Braath, voiced by Trevor Collins at underscore Trevor C, and Evena von Braath, voiced by Kristen Nelson at Kristen Olin.

The Stinky Dragon channel is managed by Ben Ernst.

This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Kai Cook, written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by David Sonia.

Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Hot-blooded chicken sea.

Block of beaver.

What?

What song is that?

Broken glen.

Sorry.

It's so in my head now.