C02 - Ep. 44 - Vengeance in Vainia - Can I Get a Vitness?

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Speaker 6 Compliments to all you kelpies.

Speaker 8 Swim on into the stinky dragon, guzzle our latest gulp, deep into the seaweeds.

Speaker 8 It's a mixture of drowned ginger, a grappling of lemon, faux nut milk, a slam of agave, and amphibious algae powder.

Speaker 14 Mmm, one drop of this dang drink, you'll see that all wood things moss come to an end.

Speaker 14 No laughing.

Speaker 9 Previously, our adventurers were frittering away on the floor of the fan pic.

Speaker 8 They came upon a cornucopia of coffins, creeped into the capillary, and probed an imprisoned Papa von Brath.

Speaker 8 Round of refreshment, let's resume this rank recollection.

Speaker 16 Hello, everyone. I'm Gustavus Rolo, the dungeon master of our future party.

Speaker 17 I'm gonna hit our four players with an arrow.

Speaker 19 Nami, I grab Quiffley, I put him in front of me, he takes it right to the face.

Speaker 21 Quiffly.

Speaker 24 This week's role-playing warm-up question is: what is your favorite type of cheese and why?

Speaker 28 I'll go first.

Speaker 30 Hello, I'm Barbara Dunkelman.

Speaker 31 I play Elga von Bras, the half-elf empire barbarian. And a little known fact, Elga does not like cheese.
Any type of cheese.

Speaker 32 No.

Speaker 31 Because she is lactose intolerant.

Speaker 34 What else?

Speaker 35 What other intolerances?

Speaker 30 Oh, food intolerance.

Speaker 31 Yeah, she don't like cheese. But, you know, if she had to pick one, she'd probably pick Swiss because the holes are kind of cool and she could.

Speaker 18 They're like fan holes. Yeah, exactly.

Speaker 31 It just makes a pretty kind of picture for her. I don't know.
It's a very visually appealing cheese.

Speaker 40 I'll go next.

Speaker 39 Hey, it's playing Gibson.

Speaker 41 And I play Chippaney and a little Tifling Rogue level seven.

Speaker 24 And I like my cheese like I like my knives sharp.

Speaker 2 So I enjoy cheddar.

Speaker 24 And I also like Swiss because of the holes as like I like like my victims

Speaker 18 with holes.

Speaker 44 What about curds?

Speaker 45 Oh, cheese curds are good.

Speaker 46 Oh,

Speaker 46 cheese curds.

Speaker 47 I think that is consonant cheese.

Speaker 30 Might be Matith's favorite, maybe for poutine.

Speaker 29 I don't know.

Speaker 26 Oh, no, Matith's not French Canadian.

Speaker 50 Not French Canadian, that's true.

Speaker 48 But I am John Reisinger. And I play Matisse Confisuse, the Eric Cochrane ghost monk.

Speaker 48 Picking your favorite cheese is like picking your favorite wine.

Speaker 39 That was good.

Speaker 18 That was very good.

Speaker 48 Just stole the words out of my mouth. Yes, it's as I cannot pick.
They're all perfect. They're all so fantastic.

Speaker 48 I mean, obviously, like Brie is fantastic with some honey and on bread, but then if you get some camembert or some monster, it's just all it's perfect.

Speaker 55 All cheese.

Speaker 56 I feel like, you know, since Mate says all cheese is perfect, I think Mati would probably have a really especially soft place in their heart for like craft American singles.

Speaker 24 There's the part of your art where hell is.

Speaker 60 That soft, squishy, hellish part of your heart.

Speaker 38 Craft American singles.

Speaker 60 It's good.

Speaker 26 It's not bad.

Speaker 18 It's garbage, but it's good.

Speaker 19 I wouldn't classify it as like

Speaker 18 fine cheese.

Speaker 30 They're okay, like in a sandwich. Like if you make a grilled cheese or something, but if you're just eating it on your own,

Speaker 63 I could shuffle a pack of like craft singles like a deck of cards and just eat the entire deck.

Speaker 33 Hit me.

Speaker 19 I'm Kristen Arris, and I play Barney Farney.

Speaker 64 I do, I do enjoy

Speaker 19 several different cheeses.

Speaker 65 There's just cheese, which some people call monster cheese, but in this area, it's just called cheese.

Speaker 67 Yeah, that's good. That's good.

Speaker 2 I like that.

Speaker 36 But

Speaker 52 my personal favorite is a good aged Gouda.

Speaker 26 That's nice.

Speaker 19 Because I think things always, you know, they get better with with age.

Speaker 36 I agree, Barney.

Speaker 32 I agree. Yeah.
Better with age.

Speaker 23 When you were young, Barney, there was just cheese, right?

Speaker 63 There weren't like different kinds. It was just generic.

Speaker 16 It was cheese, and that was it.

Speaker 18 Exactly.

Speaker 39 I'm so happy to have been around during the invention of aged cheese.

Speaker 30 Because you used to make your own cheese, like with the barrel and the butter, and the, I don't know how they're mixed.

Speaker 2 I was doing the button butter churn motion, and I'm realizing, don't think Elga knows how cheese is.

Speaker 25 I have no idea.

Speaker 72 Neither does Barbara.

Speaker 60 I would help with it, with the cows, but Marnie was much better with cheese.

Speaker 30 And animals.

Speaker 3 Well, I'm pretty good with animals.

Speaker 64 I don't know if you remember Hoofer.

Speaker 37 Remember? I remember Hoofer.

Speaker 31 He's doing so good right now out on the farm.

Speaker 36 Yeah,

Speaker 60 I need you to check up on him.

Speaker 48 I will do that bus station

Speaker 52 in the other plane. Yep.

Speaker 63 I really wish y'all had left Hoover behind in that room and just had the door close behind you and then hear the fire kick on in the refusary.

Speaker 40 So close.

Speaker 62 I was so close to having it happen.

Speaker 47 Technically, that was the end result.

Speaker 75 We just didn't know.

Speaker 76 As you're looking around trying to figure that out, everyone roll me a dexterity saving throw.

Speaker 70 16.

Speaker 77 18. 11.

Speaker 78 I rolled 10.

Speaker 50 The whole ground starts shaking.

Speaker 81 Mated, you're able to keep your feet, but everyone else, you know, falls down onto their knees, onto the ground.

Speaker 81 As the whole building itself seems to experience a violent tremor, shaking the entire vampspire.

Speaker 67 The ceiling above you begins cracking and debris starts falling, heading straight for all of you.

Speaker 24 I never want to be arrested, but if I were to be arrested, I do want to get locked into a completely silver cage with no door.

Speaker 86 Because it's just like, that's a bad dude.

Speaker 47 So, like, what did you? I don't know what your dad did, but he's a bad dude.

Speaker 35 It's almost like a Hannibal Lecter thing with the straight jacket and the mask on.

Speaker 60 Hello, Elga.

Speaker 29 Don't talked about my father that way.

Speaker 10 He doesn't eat people.

Speaker 7 He's a bad dude. He's a cool guy.

Speaker 87 Look at his cool prison.

Speaker 31 Actually, maybe he does eat people.

Speaker 12 I was going to say what?

Speaker 31 That's exactly probably what he does.

Speaker 88 Alright, everyone, go ahead and roll me dexterity saving throws.

Speaker 12 Avoid all the debris falling, raining down on you.

Speaker 10 What?

Speaker 90 Pronounce the Bris. 22.

Speaker 10 De Bris.

Speaker 30 16.

Speaker 91 11.

Speaker 90 19.

Speaker 90 De Bris. I just woke up.

Speaker 92 Where did the debris come from?

Speaker 10 I thought we were just talking to you. I was falling from the ceiling.

Speaker 92 I thought we were just talking to her dad.

Speaker 76 Yeah, and then at the end, the rocks were falling.

Speaker 93 Everything started to show.

Speaker 67 God dial.

Speaker 91 I must have blocked it. I already got hit.

Speaker 90 I already got hit. Blows your dexterity.

Speaker 94 It was 22. Yeah.

Speaker 90 Well, I give plus two to whoever had the two leads, but I think it was.

Speaker 62 Can you give it to yourself?

Speaker 27 I don't think I can.

Speaker 30 I'm not seeing Matisse roll. Oh, you did it.

Speaker 66 Because I rolled out real dice.

Speaker 38 Ah.

Speaker 3 He's got the silencer equipped this week.

Speaker 95 Oh, wait, not 19. 26.

Speaker 18 Oh, gotta add. That's when you roll a real die.

Speaker 96 You have to do your your modifiers on your own.

Speaker 19 All right.

Speaker 97 So everyone does pretty good except for Barney.

Speaker 11 Maybe like Barney has a pause.

Speaker 62 He has a delayed reaction compared to everybody else as huge chunks of the ceiling and the building start falling down.

Speaker 44 Everyone's able to dive out of the way, save.

Speaker 60 Well, except, I shouldn't say save, except for Barney Farney,

Speaker 56 who gets knocked in the noggin by a particularly large chunk of stone and takes seven points of bludgeoning damage.

Speaker 101 Oh, I remember everything.

Speaker 56 Count von Brassus.

Speaker 102 Hurry, we don't have much time.

Speaker 60 You see, gang, underneath the Earth's crust, underneath the crust of the planet, there are these large plates, okay?

Speaker 85 And then they start to move around and they separate and then they run into each other.

Speaker 71 That's how you get mountains.

Speaker 21 And you know what? That's how you get oceans.

Speaker 50 Ship does have a little bit of like Bill nye energy i'll say that yeah oh that'd be a good bill nye host they called plate hectonics

Speaker 12 is stuff only collapsing here in this room like what does it seem to be like yeah the whole building i mean you really can't tell since you're just in this room but it seems like the shaking was rather larger than the room i can say that did we figure out at the end of the last episode how to get to the belfry

Speaker 24 yeah i believe uh count von brass just told you was in the northern portion of the feng pitch you know how glurb was built on a giant snail?

Speaker 24 Is there any indicator that something is similar here at the Vampspire?

Speaker 107 Well, you all saw it from Vanya.

Speaker 97 You know, when you approached Vanya, you climbed up a mountain, and then, you know, you were in town.

Speaker 17 You could see the Vampspire.

Speaker 88 It was surrounded by that moat of blood.

Speaker 97 And, you know, nothing necessarily stood out that it was on a different surface than the rest of the town.

Speaker 30 You said it was built like all around like Blackstone? Was that what it is? Bloodstone?

Speaker 108 Yes.

Speaker 108 Ignis.

Speaker 39 Ignis.

Speaker 24 Then there was that big well that led down to some place and also like that's where we did the like ritual.

Speaker 30 The thing we had to do to get into

Speaker 73 Vania.

Speaker 87 Well, and also

Speaker 24 the bad guys, they got that big old rock monster. You might be able to manipulate rock.

Speaker 30 The gems?

Speaker 65 Barney's going to follow the gang, but he's going to start casting Laman's tiny hut as a ritual.

Speaker 64 He's going to start looking at it.

Speaker 65 It takes, it takes, I just looked it up.

Speaker 35 It takes a minute.

Speaker 30 We just hear him going,

Speaker 27 tiny hut.

Speaker 3 It takes, I think 10 minutes 10 minutes I think

Speaker 51 it's as a ritual so it doesn't take a spell slot oh got it but if we can you know if it's collapsing we could use it as a cover yeah okay so Gustavo that's me when we entered the first triangular room the one that had the opening on the southeast that went to the sepulchre nice pronunciation yeah I learned from the best

Speaker 3 your brother

Speaker 87 I mean, I guess

Speaker 87 through you, yes.

Speaker 83 You're admitting that your brother's the best?

Speaker 26 At Sane's Sepulchre?

Speaker 73 Yeah. The best rice.

Speaker 30 What else?

Speaker 48 You know, reaching high or things than me.

Speaker 83 Probably playing all instruments.

Speaker 22 Okay, that's tough.

Speaker 30 Yeah. So what did you? What's the matter?

Speaker 51 Okay, so when we came into this other triangular room that led us to like the bathtub room, the blood bathroom, the chapel and all that, that was to the southwest of that first triangle.

Speaker 62 You all entered one big triangle room.

Speaker 16 You entered like from the base at the south.

Speaker 114 Yeah.

Speaker 11 To the right, if you come in from there to the right, in the southeast corner of that triangle is where the sepulcher was.

Speaker 16 To the north of there was like a triangle set within the triangle, and that was the capillary.

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 16 And then to the southwest corner, that's where the sylvern is.

Speaker 115 And we're in the sylvern right now. Correct.

Speaker 116 And so he was saying go north, but north would be, unless there's a way to go north from the sylvern, we'd have to go back and go north towards where the capillary was.

Speaker 11 Correct. North past the capillary.

Speaker 21 No, so there's a way to get past the capillary.

Speaker 18 It's a triangle within the triangle.

Speaker 94 Okay, gotcha. Okay.

Speaker 46 It's like the triforce, except not an upside-down triangle in the middle.

Speaker 118 Like if they were both facing the triangle.

Speaker 3 It's the downward tree triforce.

Speaker 60 It's the T-R-Y force.

Speaker 31 Father, if we leave you here while this building is collapsing, are you going to be okay or should we try to drag you with us?

Speaker 19 It appears to be stable for now.

Speaker 119 Quick, put him in the bun bag.

Speaker 102 If nothing else, perhaps my confinement in this prison will protect me.

Speaker 24 Kinship slap his hand against the silver and say, oh yeah, that's good craftsmanship right there.

Speaker 42 This thing, hey, Elga, this thing's not going anywhere.

Speaker 47 Rattles in his ears.

Speaker 31 Okay, father, we will be back for you, I promise, and I'll be here to speak for you to make sure that you do not get prosecuted.

Speaker 102 I wish for nothing more.

Speaker 30 Okay, although if you did do something bad, you tell me, right?

Speaker 102 I am being punished for allowing you to leave the vampspire.

Speaker 31 Oh, my goodness. Okay, well, that makes it complicated.

Speaker 30 Did we ask why you're not really because they're not supposed to leave it in the oath at the time.

Speaker 24 Right, but did we ask why he was so adamant that you were able to go to the well?

Speaker 81 He had mentioned that his Elga's mother had also left and wandered around, so he felt that maybe it would be a good thing for Elga to see the world as well, like her mother.

Speaker 30 And go to that peace parade on his behalf.

Speaker 54 When Kermit left the swamp in the Muppet movie to see the world and meet friends, and he had to fight a guy who wanted to use him to sell frog legs.

Speaker 30 And it's because I didn't get Dracula's permission either, right? That's why.

Speaker 113 Correct.

Speaker 11 And according to Count von Broth, Dracula's been a little weird about the rules lately.

Speaker 84 What's your last name?

Speaker 30 Von Brath.

Speaker 111 Okay, he keeps saying Van Broth.

Speaker 28 No, I said Von Broth.

Speaker 78 And according to Count von Broth.

Speaker 106 Okay, maybe not.

Speaker 95 Maybe I'm hearing it.

Speaker 11 Am I okay?

Speaker 24 Van Broth is the Van Halen

Speaker 24 collaboration that they did back in the 80s.

Speaker 30 I like how it's always so funny when you make up something. Like, I made up Von Brath as a last name because I thought it sounded cool.

Speaker 3 Yeah.

Speaker 30 And it's just like, people are like, what does it mean? I'm like, oh, it's just like letters I put together.

Speaker 43 Okay, perhaps we should head towards the north of, head towards the Capillary and get to the Belfry.

Speaker 45 Oh, and actually, I want to stick my hand in Warren.

Speaker 83 I was like, you need a snack, Mr. Von Brath?

Speaker 26 Do you need a little snacky?

Speaker 112 He can't get away from you. You're really just getting on.

Speaker 9 No, no, I'm good.

Speaker 60 Thank you. You sure?

Speaker 102 Yes, I'm sure.

Speaker 24 Okay, and then I give him a thumbs up while my hand's still in the cage.

Speaker 95 I will say a chip does taste pretty good.

Speaker 24 I do taste pretty good. I worked out.
I got clean eating over here, Mr.

Speaker 40 Van Broth.

Speaker 31 I've had a a little sip or two.

Speaker 124 Take a nibble. Come on.

Speaker 3 Fine. Okay.

Speaker 87 I do.

Speaker 121 You insist.

Speaker 25 You're going to become his battler right now.

Speaker 62 He takes a chip of chip.

Speaker 87 How much damage?

Speaker 77 Well, I'll roll that.

Speaker 88 You just want to take that.

Speaker 62 Are you going to heckish rebuke him?

Speaker 18 No.

Speaker 3 Three points of damage.

Speaker 33 Ow!

Speaker 31 Don't even think about it.

Speaker 112 No,

Speaker 22 just pings. I have a question.

Speaker 65 While he's doing that, there were some, you mentioned some silver

Speaker 65 chains that were there.

Speaker 66 Are those attached to something?

Speaker 65 Can I take them?

Speaker 96 I thought you all took all of that stuff last time.

Speaker 65 I didn't mention the chain specifically, but if there are chains, yeah, I'd love to.

Speaker 16 I'm going to double check, but I believe that they may be fixed to the ground as a means to restrain.

Speaker 18 Arnie, you're going to be a little hell rider?

Speaker 11 Huh?

Speaker 51 You're going to be a little Kratos?

Speaker 18 A little heck rider. Huh?

Speaker 30 He starts banging the floor, and a vampire comes in, and he rides him.

Speaker 52 So the chain, the links of chain, they're not attached to the floor.

Speaker 68 Rather, they're attached to the surface of the table.

Speaker 33 Oh.

Speaker 3 Take the whole thing table.

Speaker 26 Well, can I just like

Speaker 65 hit him out or something really quickly?

Speaker 17 Like with my, just like

Speaker 17 smash the table.

Speaker 62 How would you want to do that?

Speaker 84 To describe it.

Speaker 19 Set me the... Paint me a picture, Chris.

Speaker 65 Yes, I will take my walker, which is very heavy and metal, and I'll lift it up and just smash the table.

Speaker 60 Oh, so you're going to break the.

Speaker 62 Okay, I see. That's smart.

Speaker 3 Break the table to free the chain.

Speaker 87 Yeah, sure.

Speaker 62 Why not?

Speaker 44 Yeah, you smash the wooden table.

Speaker 64 The service here is terrible.

Speaker 99 Thereby freeing the chain so you can take it.

Speaker 118 Are there keys for it anywhere?

Speaker 35 Like nearby? Make me an investigation check.

Speaker 30 Are these it like handcuffs on chains or just chains?

Speaker 87 Just chains. Okay.

Speaker 30 That was a three. Is there someone named Alex?

Speaker 19 I want to use inspiration.

Speaker 60 Okay.

Speaker 97 You don't find it, but you get a divine calling that encourages you to look again.

Speaker 127 All right, that was better.

Speaker 128 17. You do not find a key

Speaker 66 for these chains.

Speaker 84 Because they're not necessarily like they have a lock.

Speaker 60 Well, I guess they would.

Speaker 11 Yeah, they do have a lock.

Speaker 58 Otherwise, I mean, you do that for nothing. Yeah.

Speaker 97 No, you're not able to find a

Speaker 2 key. I think Gus made him do that for nothing.

Speaker 33 I'm going to help out Barney.

Speaker 24 I'm going to help out Barney so that it doesn't look like, you know, this table was smashed by him.

Speaker 111 I put like one of the rocks that fell from the ceiling.

Speaker 24 I put it like on the table as if as if the

Speaker 46 avalanche is what destroyed the the table and took the chains away.

Speaker 67 Yeah, I don't know.

Speaker 47 We're just covering Barney's tracks.

Speaker 43 Cool.

Speaker 24 Also, we're totally breaking the first rule about Vampire Fight Club, which is you don't bring silver into the Vampire Fight Club.

Speaker 60 There's a rule specifically about it.

Speaker 44 Yeah,

Speaker 65 there's a rule about not turning my family into slaves.

Speaker 71 Got him, Barney.

Speaker 31 I don't know if that was ever a rule.

Speaker 73 That's kind of what we do here.

Speaker 64 Oh, we!

Speaker 7 How quickly Elga's reacting to

Speaker 60 the surroundings.

Speaker 129 Yes, sometimes you need to stick with family, okay?

Speaker 114 All right. Exactly.

Speaker 130 I'm

Speaker 24 Mate, we got a boogie. Where are we going next? You seem to be the the maps person.

Speaker 106 I we're going north.

Speaker 116 So we had we had towards the past the capillary, towards the belfry.

Speaker 24 To the norse!

Speaker 20 The norse? The norse dog.

Speaker 120 That's what Mate's been.

Speaker 125 You exit the Sylvern and take a left, making your way to the north, like Count Von Brath suggested you do.

Speaker 111 Or Van Broth.

Speaker 15 Or von Broth.

Speaker 17 You're breaking my brain.

Speaker 118 And uh.

Speaker 30 You just say VB.

Speaker 18 Count VB.

Speaker 125 And you come come upon another door in the northern portion of the Fink Pic.

Speaker 8 Okay.

Speaker 104 Is it got a doorknob? Yeah.

Speaker 132 Does it have a lock?

Speaker 33 No.

Speaker 116 Does it have a knocker?

Speaker 7 Yes.

Speaker 109 Does it have traps? It has a knocker?

Speaker 27 Yeah.

Speaker 30 I knock.

Speaker 81 Okay, the knocker appears to be like a bat that's carrying an animal, a goat, and the knocker part is the goat.

Speaker 35 So you lift the goat.

Speaker 78 That's fun.

Speaker 112 I'll loud and bang it up against those doors.

Speaker 62 How many times do you let it knock?

Speaker 16 Like three loud knocks?

Speaker 24 Give us a taste of that knock.

Speaker 99 33 times. 33 knocks.

Speaker 59 Oh my god.

Speaker 18 Micah, add the 33 knocks.

Speaker 60 We will insert silence here.

Speaker 89 No, we don't need to do silence. We need to talk over and just, hey, you really giving that.

Speaker 24 You really like that knocker, don't you?

Speaker 11 There is no response.

Speaker 54 Okay, I've been very thoroughly checking if someone is on the other side of this door.

Speaker 18 Try 34.

Speaker 104 Oh, I do 34 more times.

Speaker 120 There's an additional 34 knocks

Speaker 7 for a total of 67 knocks.

Speaker 46 It's weird. The scene went missing during the edit.

Speaker 62 As you let out the 33rd and 34th knock, three Sferatu come walking up

Speaker 78 from the south, from the capillary area.

Speaker 100 That's not for the door.

Speaker 100 Hello, this guy is falling. What is going on?

Speaker 15 What are you doing? This level is off limits. I know, we're trying to get away from this level.

Speaker 116 Oh, the ceiling's falling.

Speaker 134 Yeah.

Speaker 19 Oh, I thought you said this guy.

Speaker 26 I heard this guy.

Speaker 84 I heard this guy.

Speaker 64 This guy,

Speaker 64 I will put more space in between my words.

Speaker 119 Need a hard K, not a lot of soft G.

Speaker 120 Yes, we agree.

Speaker 10 You should leave immediately.

Speaker 90 Take the exit to the south.

Speaker 9 Then they point back where you came from.

Speaker 31 No, it's like this exit.

Speaker 124 What?

Speaker 30 We're gonna go this way.

Speaker 18 How many of them are there? Three.

Speaker 66 Oh.

Speaker 48 Are these any by any chance the ones you're playing hide and seek?

Speaker 69 Let me make a roll. Let's see.
I forgot about that.

Speaker 84 I'm just telling him, like, I haven't started counting yet.

Speaker 21 You found me.

Speaker 25 All right.

Speaker 39 Go again.

Speaker 66 You allied, and you go.

Speaker 99 Yeah, no, these aren't, these were not the ones you were playing hide and sink with.

Speaker 24 Would you guys be interested in playing hide-and-go-seek?

Speaker 51 Sink-sink?

Speaker 8 How are you familiar with hide-and-seek?

Speaker 24 I am the guest of Elga, and we love it. It's one of my favorite vampiric traditions.

Speaker 65 Are you dressed up like your are you wearing a

Speaker 120 hideous feratuous for

Speaker 3 Sferatu?

Speaker 46 Yes, of course I know what hide and sink is.

Speaker 35 Let's see, make me a deception check.

Speaker 90 Ah, you've fallen right into my trap.

Speaker 10 Please, Rollgood.

Speaker 108 I hope I do. Oh, wait.

Speaker 35 I thought I had takes advantage on deception.

Speaker 60 Whose trap is this?

Speaker 30 You sounded like gentlemen troll when you did that.

Speaker 67 Oh, I did.

Speaker 37 He did.

Speaker 37 Whose trap is this?

Speaker 16 That is a...

Speaker 27 13.

Speaker 49 Oh, my God. I rolled a one.

Speaker 10 I rolled a one.

Speaker 10 Deceiving.

Speaker 30 Into a trap. We've somehow managed to deceive these Ferratu at every turn.

Speaker 60 I hate it.

Speaker 18 It's so good.

Speaker 3 So you were on patrol and playing hide and seek?

Speaker 3 No.

Speaker 42 No, we are proposing hide and seek.

Speaker 31 It's because me, Elga von Brath, has requested it of them.

Speaker 67 Yes.

Speaker 83 Yes, Mrs. Von Brath.

Speaker 137 Mrs.

Speaker 18 Vendidani. Yes, madam, madam.

Speaker 87 Lady.

Speaker 109 Well, she just found us. Now we're gonna play another game.

Speaker 40 They're talking about her marriage. I'm not married.

Speaker 73 Oh, oh, sorry. I'm missing.

Speaker 52 When you said, when did that happen?

Speaker 74 I thought you were like, when did you start playing hide and go seek?

Speaker 40 He called her Mrs.

Speaker 62 Von Brath.

Speaker 53 All right, we are all going to go hide while Miss Elga counts.

Speaker 103 Are you ready?

Speaker 68 The three of them have a quick aside.

Speaker 13 One.

Speaker 114 And they start running.

Speaker 87 All right, open the door.

Speaker 101 I hate you guys so much.

Speaker 101 Yeah, you love us.

Speaker 35 They'll never find us in here.

Speaker 87 You open the door, and

Speaker 82 you see an expansive, ornate suite decorated with ornamental wooden floor, handcrafted furniture, and decadent decor.

Speaker 35 But it appears like it's all in utter disarray.

Speaker 117 That was sweet.

Speaker 30 Yeah. Does this appear to be Dracula's like room?

Speaker 55 Potentially, it's very fancy.

Speaker 76 It's a very fancy.

Speaker 117 It's a fancy room, and everything is in disarray.

Speaker 45 Yes. Chip walks in carefully and says, Oh,

Speaker 89 we knocked 67 times.

Speaker 25 Hello?

Speaker 99 Make me a dexterity saving throw, Chip.

Speaker 24 With pleasure, he fell right into my trap.

Speaker 62 Who fell into whose trap?

Speaker 26 That's a 12,

Speaker 52 but I have

Speaker 45 things that I can do.

Speaker 26 Some things.

Speaker 46 If I do, she would be.

Speaker 62 I can't even believe.

Speaker 62 Attack ships off.

Speaker 133 I've seen attack ships.

Speaker 45 Do I pass that?

Speaker 76 Mr. Costa.

Speaker 62 Are you allowed to know?

Speaker 91 He's got lucky.

Speaker 26 We'll know.

Speaker 138 I have the sneakers of the lost souls, and I have this thing. These shoes have three charges, and you regain 1d3 expended charge of daily at dawn.
When you fail a dexterity saving throw, you fail.

Speaker 138 While wearing it, you can use your reaction to expend one of its charges. So I'm to succeed on that saving throw instead.
So I just

Speaker 88 flat out.

Speaker 126 Yeah, you begin walking into the room and your foot, your sneakers, right?

Speaker 132 Yes.

Speaker 23 Your sneakers begin coming down on something and you stop at the last second.

Speaker 76 As you begin, you just ever so slightly begin crunching on some broken glass.

Speaker 13 Oh.

Speaker 79 And you stop at the last second.

Speaker 35 You realize you would have crushed the glass if you had continued stepping in.

Speaker 18 You're almost walking on, walking on, broken glass.

Speaker 88 Is this one of those lost songs that I've never heard from you?

Speaker 18 You've never heard? You've heard it. Who's this box?

Speaker 51 A music reference that he didn't know?

Speaker 30 Walking on broken glass.

Speaker 73 Yeah.

Speaker 60 Where is this from?

Speaker 18 It's like an 80s music. Yeah.

Speaker 109 Who's the artist?

Speaker 48 Annie Linux. He said it.

Speaker 96 Oh, I love Annie Linux.

Speaker 22 Apparently, not Anytime.

Speaker 2 Wait, let's sing

Speaker 18 from the Eurythmics. Eurythmics.

Speaker 60 Why does he soft sound? Soft self. Let's just move on.

Speaker 7 Wow, there's glass. Hey, guys.

Speaker 56 Okay, yeah. So, yeah, you see that there's a broken glass.

Speaker 3 Coughing on fire.

Speaker 18 Come on, everybody, raise me glass!

Speaker 18 It's a great song.

Speaker 43 I'm just gonna write in my diary that I made a reference,

Speaker 19 didn't I?

Speaker 30 Could I use, so I have climbing. Could I use that to kind of climb onto the wall so I'm not walking on the ground? Not walking on broken glass?

Speaker 22 Not walking on broken glass.

Speaker 30 Just to kind of get over that area? Yeah, of course.

Speaker 24 You're just like, Ivana, look at you, go.

Speaker 60 Which one is it?

Speaker 73 Is the room...

Speaker 2 I'm looking at distinction.

Speaker 20 Is the room

Speaker 116 dark?

Speaker 83 Is that why Chip didn't see glass?

Speaker 140 Well, it's just hard to see if you're not looking.

Speaker 12 Like, the room itself distracts you, right?

Speaker 16 Like, people don't walk around normally looking at the ground directly in front of them.

Speaker 20 I do.

Speaker 73 It's called anxiety, gus.

Speaker 2 Have you heard it?

Speaker 42 Okay, so, yeah.

Speaker 106 Mate would then also float into the room because I can float.

Speaker 48 And could I...

Speaker 139 You said everything disarray, but did you give any specifics?

Speaker 12 I didn't. I was waiting for y'all to walk into the room.

Speaker 62 That's my dad.

Speaker 20 I've climbed into the room.

Speaker 89 So, you know, amongst the disordered furnishings, you see velvet seating, a pool of blood, a disheveled desk, a dusty piano, a damaged painting, a roaring fireplace, and an iron vein rack.

Speaker 24 He kind of like cycled through a lot of things, but one of those things is a little bit more important than the other things.

Speaker 18 Oh, yeah, yeah, the roaring fireplace.

Speaker 22 Look into my living room.

Speaker 25 It's a cat.

Speaker 140 You gotta be careful. They just started a fire.

Speaker 60 A voluntary

Speaker 60 fire person like Chip could be very concerned.

Speaker 30 Take a look at the painting. Yeah.

Speaker 22 Gotta go look at the pool of blood.

Speaker 18 You can do that.

Speaker 25 Well, one will tell you something.

Speaker 22 One probably won't.

Speaker 88 You walk up to the painting.

Speaker 99 So, from when you walk in, you know, directly across on the north side of the room is where the fireplace is.

Speaker 62 And then the painting is just to the left of that or to the west.

Speaker 16 And you see, it's a marred portrait of three people standing side by side.

Speaker 60 All three are wearing red suits of armor.

Speaker 79 The person on the left is a man with a rugged frame, weathered face, but a kind smile.

Speaker 68 The next has piercing red eyes and well-groomed dark hair, which clearly portrays Count Dracula.

Speaker 12 And the third person's face has been clawed to shreds.

Speaker 44 Oh.

Speaker 30 Could I see what color hair that third person has?

Speaker 35 Make an investigation check.

Speaker 143 With Advantage?

Speaker 52 They're all in red armor.

Speaker 111 Yes.

Speaker 24 Yeah, that's kind of like Praetorian guards from Star Wars.

Speaker 65 While she's doing that, could Barney try and mend the shredded painting?

Speaker 105 Yeah, let me deal with her, and then we'll get to that.

Speaker 30 If you have Advantage, if you roll the same thing twice, that doesn't matter.

Speaker 18 No, that's it. So that's a 12th.

Speaker 116 Oh, you get to actually combine the two numbers and you get 24.

Speaker 104 12. But if you do it three times in a row, you go to jail.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 18 Straight to jail.

Speaker 75 You know, you look, you're not able to really determine that.

Speaker 23 However, you do notice something in your investigation, Elka.

Speaker 16 When you're looking at the painting, beyond the foreground of the painting, you know, you see that in the background there's mountains.

Speaker 16 But as you look closer, you realize that they're not mountains, they're dragons, or rather dragon carcasses lying lifeless in the background of the painting.

Speaker 78 Oh,

Speaker 30 so this painting clearly depicts Dracula with two other men.

Speaker 18 Two other people. For the people.

Speaker 39 In armor.

Speaker 30 Okay, so it's not clearly.

Speaker 87 Yeah, three people.

Speaker 87 Yeah, you can't really tell.

Speaker 24 When you were describing it, I showed John what a kind smile looks like because I believe he has never seen one in his life.

Speaker 77 So I demonstrated a kind smile.

Speaker 18 You've met my mom.

Speaker 88 That's right. She has the kind of smile.

Speaker 44 The person on the left is definitely a man.

Speaker 98 Yeah, you said rugged, kind smile.

Speaker 62 And then there's count directly on the third person you're not sure about.

Speaker 116 What if Elga like crosses her eyes and like kind of gets her nose really close to the painting and then starts pulling back?

Speaker 18 I never saw those.

Speaker 111 I didn't either.

Speaker 19 I felt like it was a trick on me.

Speaker 62 I learned how to do it like last week.

Speaker 18 I'm not even kidding, yeah.

Speaker 43 I never got to it.

Speaker 16 How did mending go, though?

Speaker 46 I got headaches trying to get those things to work.

Speaker 126 So, Barney, you cast mending on it.

Speaker 105 Yeah.

Speaker 55 And much to your surprise, the painting does mend.

Speaker 11 It all comes back together.

Speaker 68 And you get a very clear look at the third person.

Speaker 61 Oh, who is it?

Speaker 143 Who's wearing a helmet?

Speaker 8 Oh my God.

Speaker 52 Oh, my God.

Speaker 30 But is it more clear if it's a man or a woman? Or like...

Speaker 73 It's still unknown.

Speaker 87 Possibly a man, but yeah, still not very clear.

Speaker 52 Is he wearing a name tag?

Speaker 16 No, no name tag.

Speaker 47 I had to ask. I had to ask.

Speaker 26 This isn't a Walmart.

Speaker 30 So you said red suits of armor. Yes.

Speaker 56 Oh, speaking of which, there is a red suit of armor in here in this room.

Speaker 70 I should go look at it. I want to go put it on.

Speaker 30 Do you want to

Speaker 52 go look at it?

Speaker 56 Yeah, when you first walk in, now that you're in the room and you turn back to the entrance you walked in from, you see that the entrance itself, you know, there's a long woolen rug that comes out from it.

Speaker 56 And right by the door where you came in from, that doorway is flanked by a cracked alabaster sculpture and a fallen suit of red armor.

Speaker 45 That's the two sides of the door?

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 30 Does it look like the armor went on the figure? You said there was a statue?

Speaker 62 Oh, right.

Speaker 68 There's a yeah, there's an alabaster sculpture and a red suit of armor.

Speaker 16 It doesn't look like they're necessarily related.

Speaker 105 It doesn't seem like the armor necessarily went on the statue.

Speaker 35 What's the sculpture?

Speaker 12 Elga, you asked first. Make me an investigation check.

Speaker 30 With advantage, because I'm looking so close. 13.

Speaker 82 It just seems to be a generic sculpture of a person.

Speaker 118 You're not sure if it's a specific person.

Speaker 123 If it is, you're not sure who it is.

Speaker 30 Oh, I don't recognize it.

Speaker 18 Can I also investigate?

Speaker 14 Of course, go.

Speaker 65 Yeah, could Barney look look and see at the armor and see if there's any sort of like notice anything magical about it i guess he he he wears armor so i feel like he i got a 21 on that investigation by the way yeah it just seems no one you would know specifically chip and and what does that mean just so i'm clear what does that mean chris well i guess he's trying to determine is this like just basic red armor or is there any sort of magical abilities potentially to it what does it mean like how how would you do that like are you just looking at it i mean is it something he could put on you should try putting it on you So you take your armor off and then put this armor on?

Speaker 65 Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I don't know how long that takes.

Speaker 113 It's a couple minutes.

Speaker 104 I was just reading a Batman Superman comic where Alex Luther said that he could smell magic.

Speaker 144 So can we smell it?

Speaker 104 Can Barney smell magic?

Speaker 109 How about now?

Speaker 30 Or smell anything? Like maybe if it's like a familiar scent?

Speaker 88 So Barney's like a dog sniffing at it.

Speaker 56 Yeah, I mean, it'll take a little while to take your armor off and put it on, but you can definitely try that.

Speaker 24 Hey, Barney, while you're naked, I do want to warn you, this is Dracula's armor.

Speaker 45 It might carry some weird sort of weight to it.

Speaker 31 We don't know if it's Dracula's armor necessarily.

Speaker 24 True, but it could have some sort of curse, you know. Just be careful because, like, Carol died because of that belt that attached to her.
We don't know what's going on.

Speaker 24 So, let's like really thoroughly look this thing over before you put it on there.

Speaker 65 Can I, yeah, maybe do an Arcana like check on it to see if there's I notice anything or just feel any sort of energy.

Speaker 3 Yeah, make an Arcana check.

Speaker 65 That's a 10.

Speaker 89 It's hard to tell.

Speaker 88 There is a lot of magic everywhere, you know, in general around the Vamspire.

Speaker 56 There's a lot of unexplained things.

Speaker 16 So it's hard to tell if this is emanating magic directly itself or if it's part of something else that's strong in the area.

Speaker 97 Your armor that you normally wear is heavy armor, right?

Speaker 75 Yeah,

Speaker 75 it is.

Speaker 89 So the reason I'm asking is specifically in the player's handbook.

Speaker 44 Thank you, Ben.

Speaker 62 Ben sent me the section.

Speaker 16 Putting on heavy armor takes about 10 minutes, just FYI.

Speaker 122 Whoa.

Speaker 99 That's if you take the time to fully do it.

Speaker 126 And then to take it off takes about five minutes.

Speaker 62 So you'll take five minutes to take it off and then 10 minutes to put the next one on.

Speaker 30 Could we just maybe look at the armor and see? Like, could I look at the helmet and see if there's like any hair stuck in it?

Speaker 30 Like, you know how, like, if you put something on your head and you take it off, it might

Speaker 24 CSI Vampspire.

Speaker 116 Did his mom maybe write his name in the tag?

Speaker 17 Make an investigation check, Elka.

Speaker 30 15.

Speaker 105 You know, you take a look through the helmet and really analyze it, and there are some dark hairs inside of it.

Speaker 52 Dark hairs.

Speaker 42 Okay.

Speaker 24 From a metagame perspective, put Chris out of his misery because I see an opportunity for an armor upgrade.

Speaker 138 Is this something that could even fit Barney?

Speaker 46 Is this something that we have the potential to acquire?

Speaker 14 It's human size.

Speaker 62 Sure.

Speaker 69 I think it'd be kind of cool if you were red armor.

Speaker 30 If this is Dracula's armor and we find Dracula and Barney's wearing his armor, I'm not explaining that he's a cosplayer.

Speaker 22 Also,

Speaker 65 be helpful while going around the vampspire.

Speaker 35 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 19 Everybody's like, oh, it's Dracula.

Speaker 3 And Then you go, I am Dracula.

Speaker 101 I'm Varney Farny.

Speaker 26 Dracula Barnum.

Speaker 99 I mean, can I start by just putting on the helmet?

Speaker 108 See if I feel how that goes.

Speaker 94 Why does Dracula sound like Miss Piggy?

Speaker 29 So you don't normally wear a helmet, right?

Speaker 12 So you don't have to take anything off.

Speaker 56 It's just a matter of putting it on.

Speaker 29 Popping it on. Yeah.

Speaker 23 You pick up the helmet and put it on your head.

Speaker 19 Make me a dexterity check, Barney.

Speaker 24 The faceplate comes clanging down.

Speaker 65 Does it bump your nose? The nine.

Speaker 17 The helmet wrestles itself and fights against you trying to put it on to your head and then flies out of your hand back to the suit of armor.

Speaker 145 That's supposed to be more than magic armors.

Speaker 31 Okay, so now we're not supposed to put this on.

Speaker 30 Possibly not. But you said these things are knocked over by a door? Is that what you had mentioned?

Speaker 88 They didn't get knocked over by the door.

Speaker 62 It's knocked over next to the door.

Speaker 18 Next to the door.

Speaker 43 Next door we came in.

Speaker 30 Gotcha.

Speaker 95 Can I do a cool handshake with the armor?

Speaker 87 Make a dexterity.

Speaker 62 I'll let you choose.

Speaker 68 Performance.

Speaker 16 Yeah, make a performance check. Yeah.
Okay.

Speaker 11 For cool handshake.

Speaker 63 It's the first ever in D D, I think.

Speaker 41 18. Nice.

Speaker 44 You tried to do a cool.

Speaker 19 Do you want to describe your cool handshake?

Speaker 24 Yeah, I come in, come in wide, grab it at the hand, pull it in. Then I pull it out, and then I do like that clap

Speaker 26 on your palms. And then we fist bump, and then we go kapoo!

Speaker 87 Explosion.

Speaker 87 La la la la la la la la la la la la la la la

Speaker 61 la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la la yes.

Speaker 62 Yeah, the hand follows in perfect sync with you and then pulls away.

Speaker 24 This armor's chilly, y'all.

Speaker 40 This armor's cool.

Speaker 30 It's chill. Do you know if, are there any like windows or anything like that where you can see outside in this room?

Speaker 18 No windows.

Speaker 115 No windows is this this entire building.

Speaker 30 I'm just wondering if like we know because this is supposed to be at the very tippy top right that we're supposed to be going

Speaker 62 your dad said.

Speaker 52 But like could we tell?

Speaker 30 I don't know how we would tell if we're like at the top.

Speaker 24 Does anybody have a what do they call those things? The elevation

Speaker 9 an altimeter? Altometer.

Speaker 59 Altometer? That's the one. Altimeter?

Speaker 3 Whatever he says.

Speaker 77 He's the pilot.

Speaker 47 Yeah, I was going to say.

Speaker 3 Altimeter.

Speaker 111 Where's the blood pool?

Speaker 23 As far as you know, yes, for a couple of reasons.

Speaker 88 You all did not see a way to go any higher, and you've been, as far as you know, everywhere up here now.

Speaker 9 And who went out?

Speaker 97 Elga, you went out as a bat earlier.

Speaker 44 You know that at the very top of the vampspire, there were chimneys and ways for the bats to come in and out of the vampspire, as well as bells at the top of the vampspire.

Speaker 99 So you assume you must be near the top, if not at the very top.

Speaker 141 Okay, so that's the best. And our ears popped.

Speaker 31 This was Dracula's room after all.

Speaker 30 And there's...

Speaker 124 What?

Speaker 30 We keep looking around at the bottom. Pool of blood.

Speaker 30 Yeah, what's near the pool of blood?

Speaker 16 When you come in, the pool of blood is off to your left, kind of in the southwest corner of the room.

Speaker 44 And you see an extensive pool of blood cascading between two wooden partitions.

Speaker 95 Oh, like an actual pool. Like, not just like blood on the ground, like a pool of blood.

Speaker 12 Once past the partitions, there appears to be a golden tub that's overturned.

Speaker 13 Presumably, the source of the vast pool of blood.

Speaker 2 Oh, yeah.

Speaker 62 And next to the tub is a cracked full-length mirror splattered with blood.

Speaker 24 So no one skinned their knee.

Speaker 69 This is a fountain of feature.

Speaker 11 This is a bathtub. Yes.

Speaker 116 That had blood, and the blood has spilled over because they know somebody.

Speaker 14 Overturned.

Speaker 84 Overturned.

Speaker 111 And then there's a mirror that was cracked

Speaker 30 and has a splatter of blood. Yes.

Speaker 65 The blood. Is it how congealed and like coagulated is it?

Speaker 35 Make an investigation check.

Speaker 18 Cool words.

Speaker 46 I assume Barney's asking this leading, trying to figure out how long it's been here.

Speaker 108 Yeah, eight.

Speaker 59 So it still seems to be fairly fresh, not super congealed.

Speaker 24 Can I just do something?

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 18 I got a little,

Speaker 65 you know, I hate it.

Speaker 24 Is it a hemogoblin?

Speaker 46 Is this a hemoglobin?

Speaker 63 Can I check if this is a hemo goblin?

Speaker 35 Make me an investigation check, too.

Speaker 19 You're specifically checking for hemogoblin.

Speaker 87 Yes.

Speaker 30 And while he's doing that, could I go over to the mirror?

Speaker 134 Yeah. Nine.

Speaker 11 It's not a hemoglobin.

Speaker 53 Not a heboglin.

Speaker 30 Well, he only rolled a nine, so it could be.

Speaker 87 I know for a fact this is not the hebo goblin.

Speaker 30 What the hell?

Speaker 31 What is that?

Speaker 30 Could I go look at the mirror? Yeah. Could I see like what kind of splatter is it?

Speaker 30 Like, does it look like someone bumped into it or like maybe a bloody nose snot rocket or like a hand print kind of thing?

Speaker 47 We want to go full dexter on it.

Speaker 18 Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah.

Speaker 88 You walk up.

Speaker 30 Analyzing the splatter.

Speaker 82 Make me an investigation check as well.

Speaker 72 That is a

Speaker 10 17.

Speaker 99 It's cracked and spidered all over the place.

Speaker 88 Almost like it fell and then was, you know, put upright again.

Speaker 29 Oh.

Speaker 120 Are there footprints anywhere? Like bloody footprints?

Speaker 140 Make an investigation check. Sure.

Speaker 31 There must have been something very chaotic going on in here.

Speaker 26 I mean, there was an earthquake.

Speaker 30 Oh, that's true. But someone picked the mirror back up, though.
Yeah. So someone must have been in here recently.

Speaker 12 You all should leave the investigation to Elga, apparently.

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 37 That's why I haven't done one.

Speaker 73 That's why I haven't done an investigation the entire time we've been in this room.

Speaker 25 I mean, you have a plus one.

Speaker 130 I have a plus zero, but I do have advantage.

Speaker 47 You have advantage. Just my little glasses.

Speaker 16 Yeah, you don't notice any footprints. So while you're looking at, I'm going to step back to Elga for a second.

Speaker 44 While you're looking at the mirror, you know, trying to figure out what happened here, you know, your eyes go back to the blood splatter, and you see that the blood splatters actually has numbers written in it what

Speaker 88 the numbers 930

Speaker 107 930 does that mean anything to elga make me a wisdom check uh 18.

Speaker 30 oh sorry 19.

Speaker 68 you remember elga your mother set those numbers did she she asked her quickly to bring the 930.

Speaker 16 oh it's a wine oh

Speaker 24 what those we were they were offering us the party wines and we were like oh, it's a red, it's a Merlot, and you were like, oh, that's all this is.

Speaker 120 Yeah, I'm saying, what?

Speaker 95 Why is the wine number on this broken mirror?

Speaker 24 Oh, because you know, when you're in the wine business, you date it.

Speaker 46 So it's like, I want the 19th.

Speaker 120 Why is it written in blood on this mirror?

Speaker 24 Because maybe that's the maybe the blood that's on the ground is the wine.

Speaker 71 And so it was like, oh, rest in peace.

Speaker 47 The 930.

Speaker 139 When someone asks question, you could just say, I don't know, John.

Speaker 72 No, but he refuses.

Speaker 21 Zip.

Speaker 7 The only problem's not about just lying to me.

Speaker 30 I also find it kind of strange.

Speaker 31 I find it kind of strange that Dracula has a mirror right next to his bathtub.

Speaker 22 It is a little strange.

Speaker 60 He has a weird placement.

Speaker 31 I guess he likes to watch himself take a bath. I can't remember.

Speaker 47 I would have a reflection.

Speaker 60 Yes. Yeah, I think so.

Speaker 2 I think so.

Speaker 62 Yeah, I think we established that.

Speaker 65 So it's 930 written written in blood, like on the mirror.

Speaker 60 Yes? Like,

Speaker 65 and it's like, does it look like it's like someone did it with their finger?

Speaker 68 Or like, how does it look like it's written?

Speaker 62 Yeah.

Speaker 98 So you look at it again to try to figure out how it's written on here.

Speaker 23 And yeah, it looks like someone traced it out.

Speaker 12 Potentially, it could be traced out with a finger.

Speaker 40 Oh, really quick. I closed the door.

Speaker 111 Oh, okay.

Speaker 62 Screw your spiratus.

Speaker 82 Make me a dexterity saving throw.

Speaker 50 Oh, the glass.

Speaker 49 Eat my butt.

Speaker 67 I'm floating.

Speaker 18 When they know it's there already, though.

Speaker 39 But they did.

Speaker 9 17.

Speaker 46 Okay, yeah, you're floating over there, and then you remember at the last second about the glass and float over it and close the door.

Speaker 47 I'm floating this entire time.

Speaker 24 Can we

Speaker 24 vibe with the mirror and see if there's anything magic about it?

Speaker 45 I want to talk to it.

Speaker 63 It could be a magic mirror.

Speaker 104 Let's talk to it then.

Speaker 29 Mirror, mirror on the floor.

Speaker 42 Who's

Speaker 45 who just went and closed that door?

Speaker 24 If it says Mateed, then we know it's magic.

Speaker 32 Mateed.

Speaker 2 No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Speaker 101 No, you get no response.

Speaker 35 It was the most primordial scream ever from.

Speaker 46 You almost made his day, Gus.

Speaker 14 Oh, no.

Speaker 105 I made my day, though.

Speaker 94 Did Barney check out the fireplace?

Speaker 118 Yeah, why not?

Speaker 48 Can Mate ponder kicking Barney into the fireplace?

Speaker 22 No.

Speaker 18 No, just ponder.

Speaker 20 There's nothing wrong with pondering.

Speaker 26 We aren't our thoughts, we are our actions.

Speaker 18 Thoughts sometimes can be kept in your head.

Speaker 30 calling test i gotta let people know that mate's thinking about whenever mate is thinking just have an echoey like sound effect oh yeah i wonder if i should barney do that

Speaker 35 when uh you so everyone's looking at the mirror and you know like a like a typical old man barney's cold so uh he begins walking over to the fireplace to to warm up a little bit it's a white marble fireplace that's blazing with a scarlet fire

Speaker 65 i'm not getting colder as i get older but that just might be because i live in austin texas you're also not old enough yet Scarlet, does it, I mean, I think it fires typically is more like orange and yellow.

Speaker 65 Is it like...

Speaker 99 Yeah, there is sometimes red in fire, but this one definitely is redder than normal.

Speaker 81 Okay.

Speaker 66 And is there a lot of heat coming from it?

Speaker 18 Yeah, a good amount of heat.

Speaker 87 Feels nice on your old bones.

Speaker 31 Does this look like a normal fireplace to you, Barton?

Speaker 18 No, it's...

Speaker 65 This is not a normal fire.

Speaker 27 It's got to be a portal, right?

Speaker 111 Jump in.

Speaker 26 You're fire resistant.

Speaker 35 I am fire resistant. Yeah, try sticking your...

Speaker 51 Just, just, just full sand flying squirrel it.

Speaker 69 I dare you. I'm going to do it.

Speaker 21 he won't do it he's a coward i dare you guys i'm gonna do it now is it burning on wood so easy

Speaker 73 i can see his face bleeding stupid

Speaker 97 do it do it i'll pay you an emo piece i'm gonna go join barney to help him investigate this fire thing is it burning on wood like what's it yeah there's um there's wood in the uh fireplace can't dip my tail into the fire that's that's your temp check of everything yeah it's my tail i don't need it are you asking them or are you asking me you oh i don't need

Speaker 20 yeah you can you can totally put your

Speaker 105 tail in there.

Speaker 56 Oh, yeah. You dip your tail into the fire.

Speaker 35 I mean, there's no saving throw for that.

Speaker 111 You're putting yourself right in it.

Speaker 126 The intense heat does burn you.

Speaker 99 However, you are fire resistant, so you take three points of fire damage.

Speaker 24 So I take one point fire.

Speaker 14 No, no, no. You take three.

Speaker 62 I rolled a seven, so you take three.

Speaker 65 I have a thaumaturgy, and I can cause flames to flicker, brighten, dim, or change color. Can I try and dim the flames and see?

Speaker 44 Just because I imagine if they're like normal fire, I would be able to do it if it's magical I may not doesn't thaumaturgy also work on magical fire I don't know I assume it does it's just and you fire Barney set in the mood lighting yeah yeah I mean you can try it you want to do that yeah yeah you caused the flames to dim significantly Barney make me a perception check Barney track those in the fire 12 you know as you're staring at it you're watching it diminish and get smaller you swear you can see like the fire almost go out like it really flickers as if it's hit by like an intense gust of air and then it, you know, it regains itself.

Speaker 65 Gust of air from what direction?

Speaker 99 Maybe from the west? Oh.

Speaker 62 Could I.

Speaker 116 Grab the little girl that has special investigative abilities for things up close.

Speaker 31 Hold my eyes up to it.

Speaker 33 Yeah.

Speaker 47 Guides her face.

Speaker 114 There's something.

Speaker 65 Maybe an opening to the west.

Speaker 30 Could I take a look?

Speaker 35 Yeah, just to the west of the fireplace is that painting you were investigating earlier, Elga.

Speaker 87 Oh.

Speaker 35 Opens a painting.

Speaker 30 Okay, yeah. Let's try looking around, see if it comes off off at all.

Speaker 3 Opens. Oh, like, like, pulling at it?

Speaker 65 Yeah, or, like, any check around.

Speaker 30 Seek a door?

Speaker 107 Yeah, make me a perception check, both Elga and Barney, since you're right there looking at it.

Speaker 144 They found a gus of wind.

Speaker 61 24.

Speaker 67 Eight.

Speaker 24 I know it's a bad joke when Gus goes

Speaker 26 to you.

Speaker 20 It's true.

Speaker 17 So, Barney, as you're looking, both Barney and Elga, you're pulling at it, trying to shove the painting around.

Speaker 82 It doesn't seem to budge at all.

Speaker 75 However, Barney, you notice a little corner of the canvas rippling in the air like as if it's being hit by wind and as you're looking at it a sheet of paper floats by can i kick the painting let barney finish okay so wait so so the painting the painting itself is rippling yeah and then a sheet of paper like yeah floated by on the wind yeah like a force of the paper yeah you pick it up and it's a piece of sheet music okay maybe you you play piano no you play piano organist here you go okay what's on the music is this is it labeled yeah does it have like a title Yeah, it's titled Sonata of Sacred Lips by Brom S.

Speaker 126 Van Helsing.

Speaker 135 Oh.

Speaker 24 Van Helsing. That was the guy that was trying to, they like let us pass because I said it was Van Helsing.

Speaker 87 That's you.

Speaker 85 Wink, wink. Wink, wink, wink, wink, wink.

Speaker 47 Oh, yeah, you can play.

Speaker 83 Is there an organ or a musical instrument around?

Speaker 95 Yeah, it's a dirty piano.

Speaker 76 Yeah, it's a dusty piano.

Speaker 20 Can I play it?

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 19 You walk over to it.

Speaker 89 The dusty piano is just a little to the west from the painting.

Speaker 16 So it's in the center on the north wall is the fireplace.

Speaker 78 To the west of that's the painting, and to the west of that's the piano.

Speaker 97 And so it's a dusty piano, and all of its keys are painted black.

Speaker 52 I play the sheet music.

Speaker 75 Yeah, make me an investigation check.

Speaker 30 A sonata of sacred lips. Yes.

Speaker 112 Knowing that Blaine doesn't actually read sheet music, I would love to have Blaine handed sheet music and then just have him take a just a wild guess

Speaker 43 at what it is.

Speaker 17 I could sing it. I used to be in choir.

Speaker 26 Oh, did you do sight reading?

Speaker 18 Yeah.

Speaker 41 You want to try that again with more confidence?

Speaker 26 Yeah.

Speaker 62 Okay, there you go.

Speaker 87 20.

Speaker 24 You sure did. Dirty 20, this barber would say.

Speaker 35 Third.

Speaker 82 Yeah, you're looking at the piano and at the sheet music, and you notice some of the keys aren't dusty like the rest of it.

Speaker 18 And what's more, they're wet, but not with blood.

Speaker 88 Tears.

Speaker 16 The liquid is transparent and salty to the taste.

Speaker 141 Ew!

Speaker 24 Why did I test the taste?

Speaker 30 Gus, is this someone with some sweaty palms like you and me?

Speaker 3 It could be.

Speaker 141 Sweaty high-five.

Speaker 39 Yeah.

Speaker 117 Just eroding the keys.

Speaker 26 Dude, the, because I know sheet music, Chipaney,

Speaker 24 does the keys that are still kind of like wet correlate to the sheet music at all?

Speaker 97 Yeah, the keys that are wet and not dusty are the E, G sharp, A, and B flat.

Speaker 17 Ah, of course. My favorites.

Speaker 68 So like, I think you did say a chord a while.

Speaker 136 What chord did you say? B.

Speaker 106 B minor. That's what you said, B minor.

Speaker 30 You said A and B flat?

Speaker 35 That is B flat, right? Did I say that right?

Speaker 87 Okay, yeah.

Speaker 46 Sorry, I'm not a music person either.

Speaker 65 While Chip's doing the, looking at the piano, could Barney light a candle and then try and follow the wind to find the source of the...

Speaker 16 Yeah, do you have a candle? Yeah.

Speaker 87 Okay, yeah.

Speaker 30 And we have fire.

Speaker 65 And when I light it with that fire, is it still red like that or is it normal colored?

Speaker 44 It appears to be normal colored, like the candle.

Speaker 12 What was the key? What was the sheet music?

Speaker 105 Oh, I selected Blaine the sheet music if he wants to perform it for us.

Speaker 66 Here it comes.

Speaker 30 Yes, sonata of Sacred Lips performed by Chip Haney.

Speaker 120 Okay.

Speaker 115 Choir time for Blaine.

Speaker 30 F1.

Speaker 70 A two.

Speaker 30 A one. Two.
Three.

Speaker 139 You didn't send the sheet music. You just sent the notes.

Speaker 105 I sent the notes.

Speaker 60 Hey, hey, hey, wait.

Speaker 87 AGE, baby, hey, hey, hey, wait. I can do this.

Speaker 72 Here, I'll help you out.

Speaker 38 Ready?

Speaker 87 Oh, do you have a

Speaker 30 piano on your phone?

Speaker 85 Yeah, I do. Oh.

Speaker 3 Great. Yeah.

Speaker 24 Everything's coming together.

Speaker 115 I'm going to give you the first key, okay, and then you'll go from that, okay?

Speaker 112 Yeah.

Speaker 30 okay, maybe if you do this, something will open.

Speaker 55 I think so.

Speaker 98 While you're setting that up, Barney, you do light the candle and follow it, and it appears to be coming from the painting itself, from the corner of the painted.

Speaker 65 Painting is blowing air, yeah, like it seems to be like emanating from the painting somehow.

Speaker 139 Here's your starting pitch.

Speaker 18 Ah, all right, give me the piano.

Speaker 47 It has all the keys on it.

Speaker 9 Yeah, ready? Boo! Boo! Boo!

Speaker 9 Boo!

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Speaker 18 Inspiration divergence.

Speaker 30 Mike, I can't wait to hear what song that will be.

Speaker 87 I'm the biggest fan of playing Gibson.

Speaker 115 Let it be known.

Speaker 85 What was it again, actually? Yeah.

Speaker 139 The right guy can actually play it since we have this.

Speaker 101 What is it?

Speaker 87 Show it to John and let him play it.

Speaker 132 It's

Speaker 120 nope, wrong one. Oh, that sounded cool.

Speaker 104 Wait, I'm doing it wrong.

Speaker 119 I'm not used to playing on like this little tiny thing right here.

Speaker 30 Phone keyboard.

Speaker 132 And then it's

Speaker 98 and with that, you hear a loud gong, and a large bell resonates to the north and shakes the room.

Speaker 76 The portrait on the northern wall slides behind the fireplace, revealing a secret chamber. Yeah,

Speaker 24 is that where the wind was?

Speaker 67 Every single sirachi shows up at the same time. Two chops kicks.

Speaker 60 Barney had a little

Speaker 67 goat.

Speaker 147 Um, they go.

Speaker 67 Okay. This pack tick just opens.

Speaker 67 Tip whatever you did.

Speaker 60 It worked. Yay.
First try.

Speaker 21 I'm going to pack away the sheet music and the bum bag.

Speaker 24 And then, I mean, does this correlate with what Barney was doing with the candle?

Speaker 46 Like, the candle was...

Speaker 65 I determined that the painting itself was blowing the wind.

Speaker 43 So then there was indeed a

Speaker 24 door behind it.

Speaker 69 Yeah. A door or

Speaker 65 a magical painting of some kind.

Speaker 29 Cool.

Speaker 113 Is there anything else in this room that we can do?

Speaker 116 Do we want to close it behind us?

Speaker 15 If we can, yeah.

Speaker 31 Well, maybe we should go inside first.

Speaker 30 I go through the opening.

Speaker 52 Okay.

Speaker 111 I follow. Okay.

Speaker 74 That's it. Barney, Matib.

Speaker 95 I'm following. Sorry.

Speaker 139 I totally disassociated there for about a second.

Speaker 84 I thought that's just me.

Speaker 95 I was not here for about 10 seconds there.

Speaker 51 I don't know where I went.

Speaker 95 I think that that music that Micah sent was like John's activation music.

Speaker 18 Winter Soldier.

Speaker 28 Barney will go through it.

Speaker 29 Okay.

Speaker 46 And I guess what do we see on the other side?

Speaker 125 Yeah, you enter a towering torchlit hall housing three massive bells hanging in the rafters in a triangle.

Speaker 17 At the far northern end of the room is a pale man draped in a black cloak, unmoving.

Speaker 30 Could I recognize that this is Dracula?

Speaker 76 Yeah, you do recognize this, Elga.

Speaker 12 It appears to be Dracula.

Speaker 65 And sorry, he's hanging upside down.

Speaker 60 What? No, he never said that.

Speaker 33 Sorry,

Speaker 30 he said he's a pale man draped in a cloak, unmoving.

Speaker 35 Yeah, he's a draped.

Speaker 78 I heard, like, my brain went to upside down.

Speaker 143 Oh, like, drapes upside down.

Speaker 10 Yeah, he's dressed.

Speaker 12 Are your drapes upside down?

Speaker 10 Well, I don't know.

Speaker 67 How do you...

Speaker 31 No, that's just a stereotype of vampire.

Speaker 82 So from here, you can't see too much.

Speaker 76 He's on the other side of the room, but he's lying motionless on the ground.

Speaker 30 Could I run up to him?

Speaker 76 Yeah.

Speaker 80 You run up across the room, and you see, as you get closer,

Speaker 80 you can tell it definitely is Dracula.

Speaker 46 It's a pale man with well-groomed hair, dressed in a black cloak that glistens red on the inside as if trickling with blood.

Speaker 76 His eyes are closed, and he's lying motionless on the ground.

Speaker 80 One hand is holding an empty vein bottle.

Speaker 2 Vein bottle?

Speaker 104 Like the vein thing something.

Speaker 30 Does it have the number 930 on it?

Speaker 17 Make me an investigation check. Maybe it's poison.

Speaker 83 Maybe it's Maybelline.

Speaker 128 Uh 11. Maybe Grift kiss now.

Speaker 76 Uh yeah, it does have a very fancy label that says 930.

Speaker 65 Can I determine if he's dead? Like dead, dead?

Speaker 62 Make a medicine check?

Speaker 7 Question mark?

Speaker 65 Yeah.

Speaker 83 Because if he has no pulse, we're like, oh, thank god he's still Dracula.

Speaker 18 Right.

Speaker 25 Oh no, he's beat.

Speaker 64 His heart's beating.

Speaker 111 That's 15.

Speaker 46 And here's what I could do.

Speaker 65 If I don't trim anything normally, I have a piece of silver and I could like press it lightly up against it.

Speaker 30 I mean, that just drains their energy.

Speaker 62 Well, wouldn't it like hurt?

Speaker 65 Yeah, does it just drain their energy or would it like burn them?

Speaker 18 It would hurt.

Speaker 46 However, your medicine check was sufficient.

Speaker 58 You know, Dracula is not dead, dead.

Speaker 30 Re-dead. Not actual dead.
Yeah.

Speaker 24 If he's on his last limb, maybe we should not do the silver.

Speaker 43 Is he laying down, like, face down?

Speaker 88 No, on his back.

Speaker 30 Do we have any like potions or something that would help with this? Like, were we ever given. I think we.
I think I might have a healing potion.

Speaker 109 Wouldn't Dracula want blood, though?

Speaker 106 Is there any chance that Chip Payney

Speaker 54 would have, you know, because it's such a pivotal like core moment in his life, would have memorized the smell of that poison that was in

Speaker 109 Carol's thing.

Speaker 79 Well, I mean, Chip worked for many years as an assassin, so he would have intimate knowledge of all of this stuff.

Speaker 35 So I would say he would definitely remember that.

Speaker 139 Check the bottom for the same poison. Okay.

Speaker 106 Oh, yeah, and you tasted it.

Speaker 96 Who are you pointing at? You're pointing at something.

Speaker 119 Because you tried to

Speaker 116 suck it out of

Speaker 18 Carol.

Speaker 47 Oh, right, nice.

Speaker 116 And you had to do like a check.

Speaker 72 Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 73 I felt a little gross.

Speaker 9 All right, let's freeze this out.

Speaker 66 Is this the poison?

Speaker 73 Is this any?

Speaker 12 Make an investigation check for me, Chip.

Speaker 46 Okay.

Speaker 143 We'll deal with that first, and then if necessary, we'll deal with Elga.

Speaker 87 It's a 13.

Speaker 128 No, you do not smell any poison in this bottle.

Speaker 65 You said he has wounds of some sort?

Speaker 22 Nope.

Speaker 30 Nope.

Speaker 47 He never said that.

Speaker 73 He said he's holding the box.

Speaker 60 All the blood and stuff.

Speaker 65 I was like, and he's...

Speaker 30 He doesn't have any blood. He doesn't have any blood.

Speaker 141 So, guys, so he's wearing orange parachute pants and he's holding a trident made of jello.

Speaker 62 You know, Dracula stuff. Okay.

Speaker 30 So here's what I'm confused about, amongst many things.

Speaker 35 He's holding this bottle, says 930,

Speaker 98 which is the bottle that Elga's mother asked Quickly to get.

Speaker 30 And it's also written on that mirror. So it's like, was...

Speaker 51 She has to get it for who?

Speaker 30 For us. To like celebrate.
Your mommy's bad. Was she bad? But also, I'm curious, like, who would write it on the mirror?

Speaker 14 Dracula.

Speaker 30 Like, is he trying to give us a clue?

Speaker 116 Is someone trying to say, like, he might have like swigged it, known that's poison, tried to do the little thingy there to like let someone know what did it, and then he stumbled into his secret room.

Speaker 46 Can I check Dracula? This is a theory.

Speaker 24 Can I drag Dracula's fingers for blood from figure painting time?

Speaker 12 Sounded like you said Drechulus.

Speaker 141 Drechtraculus?

Speaker 24 I'm just very excited.

Speaker 23 Yeah, make an investigation check.

Speaker 35 Why not?

Speaker 117 What's the button I have to push to see investigation view? So I can see the thoughts.

Speaker 62 202.

Speaker 120 Nice.

Speaker 17 It's a right bumper. Thank you.

Speaker 62 You see some on his hand, but it seems like it's not just on one finger, it's on like all four.

Speaker 46 And like on his palm.

Speaker 58 Like he's got a lot on his hand.

Speaker 24 Does this match any of the stuff from the piano?

Speaker 146 Has he been crying?

Speaker 52 Are his eyes popping up?

Speaker 30 Well, no, it wasn't blood on the piano. It was not blood.

Speaker 112 What would happen if

Speaker 54 perhaps you gave him some blood?

Speaker 30 Yeah, sure. I still have my sippy cup of satiation.
There you go.

Speaker 111 Before

Speaker 65 they... Or if you...
Could Barney take his chains and wrap them around Dracula?

Speaker 22 Why?

Speaker 136 Dracula might give you a cookie? Because I don't.

Speaker 31 It's pastel Barney. He's not going to hurt that.

Speaker 58 Maybe if he wakes up.

Speaker 46 Are you going to put it around his body, around his hands?

Speaker 98 Paint me a picture.

Speaker 124 Well,

Speaker 65 put it around his body and I'd use one of those nails and like bend the nail so that it like keeps a link.

Speaker 97 Yeah.

Speaker 46 Yeah, you kind of like put a bend into it.

Speaker 79 Yeah.

Speaker 19 Yeah, you start, you know, messing around, you know, trying to put this stuff on Dracula, and as you're doing that, he very quickly shoots up and sits up and screams, aha, you've come for another bout, you behave myself, Skyos.

Speaker 46 And he lashes out at you with a weapon he has hidden.

Speaker 76 Okay. Hitting AC-29.

Speaker 70 Yeah, that's gonna hit.

Speaker 87 Yeah,

Speaker 98 he hits you with his pike, Barney.

Speaker 133 Doing...

Speaker 34 Is he drunk?

Speaker 62 We'll address that in a second, huh?

Speaker 30 We all assumed it was poison, but he could have just drank it.

Speaker 139 He was having a night.

Speaker 89 He just like renova self by the 930.

Speaker 88 16 points of piercing damage.

Speaker 10 That's good.

Speaker 90 16? 16. Yeah.

Speaker 76 60?

Speaker 90 16.

Speaker 33 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Speaker 50 All of you make a charisma saving throw.

Speaker 30 Charisma, okay. Charisma saving throw.
I rolled an 11 on that.

Speaker 114 I also rolled an 11.

Speaker 10 I rolled. Not an 11.
I rolled.

Speaker 113 7.

Speaker 10 I rolled a 13.

Speaker 96 And I might have some sort of thing that can help me.

Speaker 62 I don't. No, I don't.
I don't. Gone.

Speaker 46 He lashes out with a pike that he had on his person.

Speaker 55 He has a fish!

Speaker 80 So as he strikes at you, Barney, the pike lets out a really loud shriek of supersonic energy that hurts all of your heads.

Speaker 84 It is a fish. It's a screaming fish.

Speaker 98 And then everyone takes seven points of damage.

Speaker 94 Seven points of what damage?

Speaker 46 Supersonic damage.

Speaker 35 You stop it.

Speaker 18 Thunder damage.

Speaker 30 I had seven tenth HP portion.

Speaker 65 That's addition to the

Speaker 133 correct. Okay.

Speaker 18 I wait you.

Speaker 48 Ah, he's drunk.

Speaker 30 Dracula Dracula? More like drunkula.

Speaker 31 I'm alright, everybody.

Speaker 114 Inspiration die.

Speaker 24 Everyone can't even dodge when an attacker you can see hits you with an attack. You can use the reaction to half the attack's damage.

Speaker 12 It doesn't hit. It's like an area of effect.

Speaker 60 It's not like a damage.

Speaker 14 Sorry, I'm sorry.

Speaker 59 I'm trying to be maximum.

Speaker 34 I've impaled you once, you fanged fire breather.

Speaker 20 And I shall do it again.

Speaker 27 Trouble.

Speaker 104 Oh, he's like having like flashbacks.

Speaker 31 I think you are thinking we are someone else and we are not the person who you fucked before.

Speaker 12 He turns away from you.

Speaker 134 Come now, Brad.

Speaker 87 Show yourself and aid me once more.

Speaker 34 Let's send them all back into the ground.

Speaker 91 That's Van Helsing.

Speaker 22 Bram, what did you do with Bram?

Speaker 49 Bram.

Speaker 78 Bram? Bram Van Helsing. Van Helsing.

Speaker 83 Yeah, I'll double-check the sheet music.

Speaker 45 That's Bram Van Helsing, was the name, right?

Speaker 76 Was it Bram Helsing or Van Helsing?

Speaker 73 Bram.

Speaker 30 Yeah, what was on the sheet music? Could you look at it, Chip? Yes.

Speaker 96 That's what I Bram S.

Speaker 50 Van Helsing.

Speaker 18 Bram S.

Speaker 43 Van Helsing.

Speaker 54 He writes wonderful lullabies.

Speaker 69 Maybe they were lovers.

Speaker 46 And then he turns back and faces you all, somehow a little unsteady on his feet.

Speaker 62 So he's drunk.

Speaker 144 Why is he drunk?

Speaker 106 Do you guys get drunk?

Speaker 9 What are you doing to you?

Speaker 31 We came to find you.

Speaker 49 Well, here I am.

Speaker 22 So

Speaker 31 we've heard that you've been acting kind of weird.

Speaker 135 You're acting weird.

Speaker 90 This is fantastic.

Speaker 73 Okay, well, I don't know how to do it.

Speaker 115 We finally found the guy we need to talk to, and he is inebriated out of his butt.

Speaker 148 You're inebriated out of your butt.

Speaker 149 Does anyone have anything that could like?

Speaker 35 Is there a cold shower close by?

Speaker 111 Maybe some bread.

Speaker 150 Do you have any coffee?

Speaker 87 Oh,

Speaker 16 no. I think I stole that from an earlier, earlier intro.

Speaker 91 Where's mud when you need him?

Speaker 30 I have something in my inventory called Baltor de Mint.

Speaker 43 Wait, we're in like the room with a bunch of bells?

Speaker 116 Yeah.

Speaker 104 I go up and kick the bells a bunch.

Speaker 111 What? What? I don't know.

Speaker 117 I'm just trying stuff.

Speaker 89 Yeah, so they're massive bells yoked high in the rafters, arranged in a triangle.

Speaker 79 They appear to be crafted with bronzed waists, blackened clappers, and red lips.

Speaker 121 And dangling from each bell are silk ropes. Maybe pulleys?

Speaker 112 Yeah, I pull bell number two, bell number one, and then bell number three. Okay, the bell free ring begins, or the bell tower begins resonating with the sounds of the bells ringing.

Speaker 118 Everyone!

Speaker 66 I start yelling, sanctuary!

Speaker 30 Wait, but you said something was a lip. What does that mean in this?

Speaker 78 It's a design.

Speaker 125 It's like the rim around the...

Speaker 52 Like the edge. Yeah.

Speaker 30 Is that sacred lips? Could be this.

Speaker 14 Oh!

Speaker 30 These are sacred lips.

Speaker 106 Wait, how many notes were on your thing?

Speaker 112 That was more than three notes. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Speaker 30 Well, it

Speaker 30 opened the room to the sacred lips.

Speaker 109 Oh, that's smart.

Speaker 116 Inspiration dice to Barbara.

Speaker 140 She already had.

Speaker 101 I just gave her one.

Speaker 115 I'll give you another one.

Speaker 46 Everyone make me a constitution save.

Speaker 61 Me?

Speaker 87 Yeah, everyone.

Speaker 30 16.

Speaker 92 16.

Speaker 138 You're 13. Here's your dice.
Look at Pickboy.

Speaker 54 Oh, yeah, thank you.

Speaker 104 I just need to see my modifier. Plus one.

Speaker 106 Seven.

Speaker 116 However, I have a constitution thingy that helps me be constitutive.

Speaker 69 You're also drunk.

Speaker 101 Mate, take it to the poddle.

Speaker 77 Maybe I don't. The poddle?

Speaker 117 I know I have something on my sheet that says constitution, but whatever.

Speaker 35 What happens?

Speaker 98 The sound is so loud, it like shakes you to your core.

Speaker 118 It makes you unable to concentrate or think for a little while. Okay.

Speaker 24 You weren't thinking straight, anyways, Mate.

Speaker 30 I like bells. Does that happen to just Mateed?

Speaker 118 Yeah, everyone else rolled well enough.

Speaker 58 Dracula's covering his ears with his hands and like squeezing his eyes really too close really.

Speaker 80 He still seems a little unsure on his feet.

Speaker 30 Could I take my sippy cup of satiation and stick the straw in his mouth and take and give him some sips?

Speaker 12 Yeah, why not?

Speaker 46 You know, as you know, his eyes are closed and he's covering his ears, so you stick the straw from the sippy cup in his mouth.

Speaker 117 He instinctively begins drinking.

Speaker 30 And this should regain four d4 plus four hit points for him.

Speaker 87 Yeah, go ahead and roll that for me.

Speaker 5 He's becoming more powerful.

Speaker 30 So that's going to be nine plus four, so that will be thirteen

Speaker 67 HP.

Speaker 120 Okay.

Speaker 62 Yeah, it seems to have a restorative effect.

Speaker 118 He seems a little more sure-footed, doesn't isn't swaying as much on his feet.

Speaker 49 Then his eyes open and looks at all of you all and says, Oh, I'm so sorry.

Speaker 24 What you celebrating, Dracula?

Speaker 31 You've been hitting the bottle a little bit there. Yeah.

Speaker 86 I've much on my mind.

Speaker 49 Any regrets.

Speaker 143 And he looks at you all, each of you directly in the eyes.

Speaker 144 Bonjour, my name is Matik Conficient.

Speaker 54 We are here on behalf of Monsieur Von Brath, who is currently incarcerated in your Sylvan.

Speaker 24 I am his esteemed counsel.

Speaker 10 Barney doesn't Barney doesn't say anything.

Speaker 31 And that's Barney. He probably won't talk to you.
He's got a bit of an attitude towards vampires for many reasons.

Speaker 49 You hate to understand.

Speaker 4 It was over a thousand years ago, and we were all delirious when we arrived. Back then, it was the Adrian Van Rieper, Immo Tech, Dr.

Speaker 60 Frank Victor, and his brother Stein, the Blob, Nessie, the Wolfman, myself, and of course, my half-brother Hugo.

Speaker 73 That one into the peace treaty?

Speaker 15 Yes, of course.

Speaker 9 It was difficult.

Speaker 9 None of us could recall our lives from before, just vague impressions and details.

Speaker 136 We were all scrambling for answers, nearly at each other's throats with threats.

Speaker 110 That's when we came upon a man, a human man, and his family at the edge of some farmland.

Speaker 14 I tried asking the man where we were and how we had arrived here, but he wouldn't say.

Speaker 136 In retrospect, it was simple miscommunication, but tensions were high.

Speaker 135 Hugo, my half-brother, flew off the handle and took the man's family as ransom.

Speaker 136 I think he thought this would motivate the man to loosen his tongue, but it had the opposite effect.

Speaker 9 The man did nothing.

Speaker 15 He stood frozen and didn't follow after us.

Speaker 136 I don't think I ever saw the man again.

Speaker 3 Until today.

Speaker 80 And Dracula looks straight at you, Barney.

Speaker 3 Sorry, it doesn't begin to express guilt and regret for not stepping in. I could have spoken Hugo, but blood is thicker than water.

Speaker 34 As I understand it, they are all still here.

Speaker 87 Hugo kept them for himself, put them to use.

Speaker 111 I wanted no part in it.

Speaker 34 I was more focused on searching for meaning in this world.

Speaker 137 I found faith in something bigger than me.

Speaker 4 I became a devoted believer in the Great Mall.

Speaker 110 I now know it was what we now call Fonaloch.

Speaker 34 That's also where I met the man who inspired me with such devotion and fierce fervor like I had never witnessed before.

Speaker 150 Abraham Stoker van Helsing, or as I called him, Bram.

Speaker 147 He was a man of unfathomable faith and persistent passion.

Speaker 34 I couldn't help but fall in love with him.

Speaker 136 But it wasn't just our spirituality we had in common.

Speaker 49 We were both skilled warriors.

Speaker 147 Between Hugo, Bram, and myself, there wasn't a beast alive or undead that could match our power in passion.

Speaker 148 But none of us were ever satisfied, each in our own ways.

Speaker 148 It wasn't until later that I learned that the root of Prim's passionate faith was an unhealthy obsession with a way out of this world.

Speaker 4 A life beyond this one.

Speaker 4 He hoped, or rather was convinced, that his faith would free him from this world.

Speaker 34 A world plagued with monstrosities and bloodshed.

Speaker 136 He was unshaken with the belief that if he baptized himself in Groteth's sacred lake, Loch Sasenus, then he would be rewarded with a world beyond this one.

Speaker 135 For weeks I tried to dissuade him, thinking it was going to change his mind.

Speaker 136 But I couldn't stop him.

Speaker 148 He took the plunge and we never found his body.

Speaker 110 Not only did my love die that day,

Speaker 150 but so did my faith and hope for this world.

Speaker 34 Now I leave it to those who are still devoted,

Speaker 136 like this Faratum.

Speaker 49 As for my half-brother, well,

Speaker 34 he couldn't outrun his baste of misdeeds.

Speaker 136 His ravenings caught up to him, and none of you will ever have to worry about Hugo again.

Speaker 148 I only wish I had done something sooner.

Speaker 65 Barney pulls up a crossbow and aims it right at his chest.

Speaker 136 You express regret.

Speaker 49 Oh, very much.

Speaker 66 But you've done nothing.

Speaker 31 You're complicit.

Speaker 31 You didn't do anything either, Barney.

Speaker 4 Barney gives the most.

Speaker 30 Could I grab the crossbow out of his hand?

Speaker 10 Uh, you can make um uh like a strength check to see if you could be able to grab it.

Speaker 46 And then Barney, if you want to hold on to it, you could also make a strength check as well.

Speaker 133 18.

Speaker 69 I share a very uncomfortable look with Matig.

Speaker 72 The party's fighting.

Speaker 56 17. 17.
Yeah, Elga very quickly.

Speaker 62 You know, Elga's really super strong.

Speaker 46 She's able to grab it quickly out of your hand, Barney, before you have time to think.

Speaker 35 And Dracula says, I wouldn't blame you.

Speaker 136 I did not perform the actions myself.

Speaker 148 However, I waited too long to carry out justice.

Speaker 34 You did nothing!

Speaker 148 I wish I had done something sooner.

Speaker 111 You did nothing!

Speaker 127 But I am trying to rectify my past mistakes now.

Speaker 144 Wait a second.

Speaker 106 You're saying that you and your friends are you and your companions like half-brother and then well no, I'm going way back.

Speaker 95 All the people, like the blob and all of that, you don't remember how you came to this land?

Speaker 34 No, we don't.

Speaker 14 That is interesting.

Speaker 136 Very, very vague recollections.

Speaker 24 Anything to do with the Ma and the Pa?

Speaker 139 Wait, what is the Ma?

Speaker 116 I do not know what this Ma is.

Speaker 120 He's a deity of some kind?

Speaker 147 I believe that the Ma provides order and provides a way to better ourselves.

Speaker 144 Did you meet Zema?

Speaker 8 No.

Speaker 144 Then what inspired you to make a treaty together from the Ma?

Speaker 106 How'd you discover the Ma?

Speaker 139 Who told you about it?

Speaker 48 Do some nice people in white shirts and ties come and talk to you about it with a book?

Speaker 115 Do they knock on your door and

Speaker 58 they came on bicycles?

Speaker 104 Yeah, they came on bicycles.

Speaker 15 We learned from those who were here before us, the dragons.

Speaker 30 I also am assuming the painting we saw was of Dracula, Bram, and Hugo.

Speaker 31 The painting in your room, Dracula, is that you, Bram, and Hugo?

Speaker 18 Yes. Okay.

Speaker 13 There we go. Problems off.

Speaker 75 With that, you start to hear footsteps and about ten Spiratu rush into the room.

Speaker 119 What would have have included them in to come here into this room where the bells are?

Speaker 3 Maybe there's all the ringing of the music.

Speaker 73 We will never know.

Speaker 99 We will never know.

Speaker 31 Is Hugo's last name Vixie by any chance?

Speaker 46 Before you get a chance to get an answer to that, the Sferatu address you all, and you hear a loud voice booming throughout all of Fingpik.

Speaker 4 The tribunal is about to commence.

Speaker 90 Those wishing to provide testimony should proceed to the capillary at once.

Speaker 31 Becky, you need to help me. They're going to prosecute my father.

Speaker 133 Prosecute. Prosecute.

Speaker 22 Oh, you're

Speaker 31 suddenly you care about family oh shut up barney

Speaker 34 the bells have rung it must begin you should come and provide a testimony

Speaker 12 i go up and i'm still up there i ring the bells again does that does that negate we must proceed with double time i do it again quadruple time has got to be

Speaker 30 but i thought this was the next morning though that they were gonna do that it says it's been like a whole day

Speaker 62 I-I-I- The bells have been rung.

Speaker 24 Amongst all the chaos, I pull Barney to the side.

Speaker 24 I know, pal, this is a real complicated mess, my friend.

Speaker 31 We will get your family, Barney. They are here.

Speaker 4 Barney looks at you.

Speaker 65 Say, if you get between me and my family again, we're- How have I ever gotten between you and your family?

Speaker 30 What you just did.

Speaker 31 From stopping you killing Drakyard?

Speaker 65 I'm trying to find out answers, and you're trying to stop me.

Speaker 31 No, I'm trying to keep you from killing the one person who has the answers.

Speaker 77 You did not.

Speaker 43 What you did is you're interrupting my business.

Speaker 31 Of killing the person person who can give you the answer?

Speaker 30 Did I kill him?

Speaker 31 You almost did.

Speaker 66 Did I kill him, yes or no?

Speaker 30 Barney, no, of course not.

Speaker 62 Okay.

Speaker 31 Jesus.

Speaker 73 Okay.

Speaker 30 I mean, Ma.

Speaker 14 Great, Ma.

Speaker 12 The Sferatu kind of put some space between you.

Speaker 46 A couple of Sferatu stand between you and begin guiding you all to the doors that you had just entered from.

Speaker 31 Dracula, can you come with us to help?

Speaker 111 Well, yes.

Speaker 150 I must oversee the tribunal.

Speaker 46 But like, you like, you know, go in favor of Count Van Brath, because he's a he's a good dude.

Speaker 150 Judgment will be passed against the accused on the side of justice.

Speaker 104 I go in for a handshake with Dracula, and when he takes his hand back, there's a hemo piece in his hand.

Speaker 18 And I wink at him.

Speaker 18 Left or right eye?

Speaker 10 Left.

Speaker 87 Oh.

Speaker 146 The best one.

Speaker 75 Okay. Yeah, Dracula.

Speaker 35 What do I roll to see if I fixed everything?

Speaker 12 Make a

Speaker 123 persuasion check.

Speaker 86 I rolled a two

Speaker 35 modifier of 18.

Speaker 45 Persuasion plus two, so four.

Speaker 116 You did it. Do you advise me to use my inspiration dice for this moment?

Speaker 34 He puts the Hemo Piece back in your hand and says, Justice cannot be slaved.

Speaker 125 And he's escorted out of the room by the Spiratu.

Speaker 31 I just want to remind you, Barney, they also did not kill your family. They are here.
You have seen them with your own two eyes.

Speaker 113 Turned them into slaves.

Speaker 65 They stole them and turned them into slaves.

Speaker 31 Well, he did, and Dracula didn't. He says Hugo did.

Speaker 67 Remember?

Speaker 31 You were also there.

Speaker 71 Barney, there's been a lot of mistakes that were made.

Speaker 24 And, you know, like, is he super innocent?

Speaker 46 No, but he's also not, like, the sole person that's responsible and is guilty.

Speaker 24 But I understand the emotions are high. This is a super stinky situation, but I do think right now we need to gear Dracula to work in our favor.

Speaker 24 And then, you know, we can pass judgment if the time comes to that. But for now, I think we got to just play cool.
Don't make any rash, sudden movements, decisions.

Speaker 40 Okay, I'm gonna leave.

Speaker 24 Okay, bye-bye, gang.

Speaker 12 Do you head to the capillary then?

Speaker 65 Yeah, I'm gonna start that way.

Speaker 88 And everyone? Okay.

Speaker 76 Y'all walk out, you know, to the south, and the iron door to the capillary is open wide, and you enter that same wide antechamber with a font of blood in the center.

Speaker 82 You notice as other counts enter, they dip two fingers in the blood and touch their fangs.

Speaker 76 Beyond the font, you pass through an archway into a long triangular hall with barbed columns, rows of pews, stone coffins along the wall, and several red-hot braziers.

Speaker 76 Bloodstone tiles run northward down the center of the room.

Speaker 62 And you all are free to sit wherever you like here.

Speaker 10 I think, Mate, you might have a favorite seat already in mind.

Speaker 117 I sit back next to my friend.

Speaker 58 Is he still there?

Speaker 95 Is he still there?

Speaker 10 Yes, still the same spot.

Speaker 144 I sit next to him and I go DJ, am I right?

Speaker 120 What did you say it was with Dan Business's fing pic?

Speaker 2 Yeah.

Speaker 10 Yeah, so you can sit wherever you want, but I assume you all are going to want to sit in that main room.

Speaker 83 I'll sit next to my client, Mr. Van Broth.

Speaker 18 So if you don't want me to do this,

Speaker 60 Von Broth.

Speaker 12 So you would have to sit up close to the front end at the northern end of the room.

Speaker 83 I am his legal counsel, I would seem so.

Speaker 132 I think so.

Speaker 76 Elga and Barney, do you have any specifications for where in the room you would want to be?

Speaker 30 Is there something that, or some place that Elga should sit or stand if she's the one, like, defending him?

Speaker 76 Uh, you imagine that you will probably be called upon for that.

Speaker 30 Okay, so I'll sit somewhere that's easy for me to get up to.

Speaker 65 On the way there, Barney would want us to crossbow back.

Speaker 30 Elga hands it to him.

Speaker 31 He says, okay, just don't point it at anybody who might be able to help us, okay? That's not the way to get answers here.

Speaker 77 Don't tell me what to do.

Speaker 31 I just did.

Speaker 76 As you find your seats, you see a raised dais with black seats arranged in a V, and at the peak, a large bloodstone throne where Count Dracula sits with his head in his hands.

Speaker 13 You hear another loud gong.

Speaker 76 Force Vratu come marching in from the southern archway down the center aisle.

Speaker 125 On their shoulders is a silver coffin that gleams in the red firelight.

Speaker 76 As they reach the steps of the dais, they lay the coffin down, fasten it to silver chains attached to the ground, and take their seats alongside Dracula.

Speaker 34 The tribunal for Count von Breath has now commenced.

Speaker 34 An anonymous informant has come forth and accused Count von Breath of breaking the Vanian vows.

Speaker 34 He has granted a foreigner entry into the Vemspire without permission, smuggled the Vempire outside the Vania without permission, and trifect silver into vania.

Speaker 4 What does the accused have to say for themselves?

Speaker 80 A small trapdoor opens at the head of the coffin, and a voice calls out from it.

Speaker 68 Not guilty.

Speaker 102 My actions have been wildly misconstrued. You all know my stirring reputation.

Speaker 76 Dracula eyes the coffin with raised eyebrows for a moment, then proceeds.

Speaker 49 Very well.

Speaker 150 We will now proceed with testimonies.

Speaker 34 Does anyone wish to come forth and testify on behalf of Count von Brett's character or actions?

Speaker 99 I do. Everyone turns and looks at you, Elga.

Speaker 34 Dracula says, We recognize Elga von Breth.

Speaker 31 Okay, where do I go? I stand up here.

Speaker 64 Please step forward.

Speaker 123 And he points up front, close to the dais.

Speaker 31 Okay, so I'm like an open book. Just feel free to ask me any questions, and I'll be happy to answer them.

Speaker 127 What experiences do you have to testify to the character character of the accused?

Speaker 31 Oh, where do I begin? So, my papa is just a wonderful person who has only ever served the vampire and kept us safe and kept everyone here safe and just a good person.

Speaker 31 All around take good care of me and my sister Avina.

Speaker 3 This is exactly how a child would testify.

Speaker 31 And he gives us late night snacks and lets us watch TV late at night, in the early morning, should I say.

Speaker 31 And, you know, he only wanted me to go to, you know, explore the world and also to do, you know, check out the peace parade, which I think is good research for us here in Vienna, to know, you know, how the other cultures and people are living.

Speaker 31 You know, important things. Yeah.

Speaker 34 Thank you, Miss Von Bright.

Speaker 31 You are welcome. Thank you, Mayhem.
My father now.

Speaker 26 One father, please.

Speaker 147 We await further testimony from Countess von Breith.

Speaker 123 Countess von Braith steps forward, but as she's walking forward to where you like how you were at the front of the room, you hear your sister Avina shout out, This whole affair is ludicrous!

Speaker 84 You know my father, he bravely fought in the draconic discord.

Speaker 142 He has been a faithful count in Vania for hundreds of years, and no one has contributed more to the vampspire's architecture and infrastructure than him.

Speaker 53 He should be released immediately.

Speaker 142 Yeah, the true culprit of these crimes is in this very room.

Speaker 149 Someone who left the vampspire and just so happens to arrive back in Vania on the day my father is accused and apprehended?

Speaker 67 I stand up with the guy next to me, I go, Yes, he's right, you know, I got him, I got him, he's right here.

Speaker 30 Elga does that thing where she's like looking all around her because surely she cannot be talking about her.

Speaker 76 Well, like you, there's whispers and shifty eyes furtively passing around the room. I am, of course, talking about someone in my own family!

Speaker 76 My mother!

Speaker 139 That twist!

Speaker 76 The whole room erupts into gasps and scoffs, and everyone make me a perception check.

Speaker 90 Getting juicy.

Speaker 30 21 for Elga?

Speaker 15 24.

Speaker 120 23.

Speaker 87 18.

Speaker 76 As everyone's, you know, gasping and scoffing at these accusations, all four of you notice something in the corner of your eye.

Speaker 143 Uh-oh.

Speaker 76 You see a battler come in late to the proceedings and sit down in the northeast corner of the room.

Speaker 121 Avaina continues. She has always been jealous of my father and simply wants him out of the picture.

Speaker 34 Order, order, that is enough. Miss von Breich, that is a serious accusation.

Speaker 127 But if you have no evidence to back up such a claim, I will ask you to return to your seat.

Speaker 34 Does anyone else wish to testify?

Speaker 76 Navena once again sits down, and a sneer widens across her face.

Speaker 98 She and the Countess immediately start quietly going at each other with sharp whispers.

Speaker 80 A familiar battler steps forward to the dais.

Speaker 67 The way they came in?

Speaker 9 Count von Braath has been nothing but kind to me ever since we first met.

Speaker 120 He welcomed me into his home, offered me a job, and I believe he should be free!

Speaker 80 He lunges at the coffin, and with a kunk, the lid opens.

Speaker 98 The radiance around the casket subsides, and out steps a pale man with blonde, curly hair, wearing a top hat, black suit, and a red ascot.

Speaker 123 Count von Braath addresses you all.

Speaker 60 Oh, such hospitality.

Speaker 92 Why, thank you, Eddie.

Speaker 76 And with a whoosh, the battler's robes billow and swirl, transforming into a skinless figure with green veins, green eyes, and a grin of jagged teeth.

Speaker 142 Don't mention it!

Speaker 133 Hugo!

Speaker 133 Barbara's face! Barbara's face!

Speaker 18 So this is awkward.

Speaker 24 I let him suck my finger.

Speaker 124 I want my butt black!

Speaker 19 Find out if Chip gets his blood back on the next episode

Speaker 3 of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Speaker 60 You're bad as Hugo.

Speaker 123 Well, find out what happens on the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Speaker 19 There are many ways little stinkers can support the show, commenting on social media, rating us on podcast services, interacting with us in Discord, or telling friends about the show by word of mouth.

Speaker 97 Stinkers like Sticky underscore Charles, Demonic Turtle, Travioli 98, Watermelon, and Buggy52.

Speaker 82 These people are directly supporting the show and they get access to more great content like Second Wind, interacting with us on our subscriber-only Discord channels and events, and more.

Speaker 128 Again, we can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this show.

Speaker 99 Want to give a quick shout out to a couple of our friends that voiced NPCs in this episode: voices like Count Dracula, voiced by Andre Olette at Andre Krant, K-R-E-T, Count von Broth, voiced by Trevor Collins at underscore Trevor C, Evenna von Brath, voiced by Kristen Nelson at Kristen Alin, Eddie, voiced by Andrew Rosis, at Mr.

Speaker 23 Andrew Rosis, and Svratu, voiced by David Sonye, at David underscore Sonye.

Speaker 82 The Stinky Dragon channel is managed by Ben Ernst.

Speaker 16 This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Kai Cook, written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by David Sonye.

Speaker 68 Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Speaker 68 Yeah, I could eat like a sky. I could eat like a f ⁇ ing.

Speaker 13 Wow. Leave it in.

Speaker 26 Gus gets talking about cheese and all the explicits come out.

Speaker 33 How dare you?

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Again, that's when I told her about CAPE.

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