C02 - Ep. 39 - Vengeance in Vainia - Tooth and Klawstred

Hey, I'm Arnie Nikam from the fully improvised comedy podcast Hello from the Magic Tavern. I'm here with my co-hosts, John the Doggy Badger, Bing Bong, and Usinor the Wizard.
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Good afternoon,

shut up.

Good afternoon, all you all.

Well, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Right into the mud. Right into the mud.
I saw. I looked over.
You put that in there.

Good afternoon, guys.

Good afternoon, all you Aldani. Swim on into the stinky dragon, throw back our latest thirst quencher within a pinch of life.

It's a mixture of grappling garlic, a bribe of butter, churned cholten cream, and two clothfuls of sea salt.

One swig of this shellfish swill will take you from prone to prawn faster than a snap of your pincher. Snap, snap.

Previously, our adventurers traiped into the Tower of Vampspire and trekked through Talesadock. They brushed up with battlers, barrels, books, and more.

But the cream of the crop was when they beheld Barney Farney's family. Cobble a cup of coffee.
Let's continue this Caucadorous Chronicle.

Totally forgot that happened. I forgot that happened.

Hello, everyone. I'm Gustavo Sorola.
I'm the dungeon master of our Putri Party. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow.
Okay.

I've accepted my fate. Here we go.
This week's role-playing warm-up question is, describe the last time your character had a really good laugh, and why was that funny to them?

I'll go ahead first. Hey there, it's Jip Haney.
It's your good friend, played by Blaine Gibson.

I'm a levels. What are we at? Level seven? Seven.
Ah, Teeth and Rogue. Last time I had a good old holler holler hoop and a holler and a laugh was, oh, we were at the camp.
And then

I watched Stinker. And he took a doo-doo by the campfire.
And then I watched as Matit in their corporeal form stepped in it. Oh, that was funny.
And then Elga walked over it with their little cape.

And oh, that got me. And then Barney stepped in it and he slipped in it and he fell down and he caught on fire because he's near the campfire.
Oh, I laughed so hard. That was so funny.

That was really good. I laughed so hard.
Get out of my booth. Get out of my booth.
And Barney was still cold, despite being on fire.

Old man. I'll go next.
That was a lot.

That was a lot. I like it.
I like it.

I'm inventing a story. I'm telling you.

What does stinker poops look like? It's just a pile of bones. It's like normal poops, but ghosts.
From where? It just comes out of the skeleton. So what do you mean normal poops, but ghosts?

Like, okay, man.

No. Like, is it like

slugs, kind of. Blue slugs.
Blue slugs? Oh, it's like ooze, like Seimer. Like ooze being more solid.
I mean, like normal dog poop, but blue and translucent. Yeah, like ooze, like Simer.

Doesn't have a digestive tract. He's ectoplasm.
It's ghost stuff. You're the ghost.

I don't poop.

Oh, wow.

A team draws pictures of poops and washes them down the toilet

because they want to be included. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hello, I'm Barbara Dunkelman, and iVoice. Elga Von Brass, the half-elf empire barbarian, level seven.
Hello, nice to be here.

Thank you so much for the subscription. Thank you.
Yep, yep, yep. I want a Twitch stream as Elga.
I think that'd be so funny. Yeah, yeah.

You know, Elga, she gets a good little chuckle out of a lot of things, but Elga needs to be careful with you know, really going and you know, doubling over laughing because if she goes out of control, she might accidentally rage.

Oh,

that to happen. But, you know, I think the last time Elga had a really hearty chuckle was when Matita and I were climbing the wall, and then Barney and Chip tried to climb the wall, and there was

some horns in someone's body. We had a good laugh about leaving them forever.
Yeah, those are funny. That wasn't funny.

I also realized, like, laughing and crying in a character voice are two of the toughest things as a voice actor. Yeah.
And I'm like, have I ever laughed as Elga? I'm sure you have.

But I feel like I've only laughed as myself. Haha.
What does an Elga laugh sound like?

It's a dolphin.

It's bat form. It's me calling quickly.
Yeah. Well, hi, I'm Krista Maris and I play Barney Farney, the human cleric.
Well, besides, besides when I caught on fire,

that was funny.

Is whenever just about a week ago, and I went to go take a big bite of a sandwich. And then when I pulled out from the sandwich, my teeth stayed on the sandwich.
Oh, Adventures.

Oh, that's disgusting. Wait, your teeth are not real? Well, they're real teeth.
To someone else.

Do you remember what kind of sandwich it was, Barney? Well, like, what kind of sandwich does Barney get down with? It was roast beef. Yeah, that sounds like a Barney sandwich.
That tracks.

Roast beef with like pimento cheese. Extra mustard.
No.

Oh, yeah.

Chris has a serious aversion to mustard tonight. Barney would love mustard.
Nope. It's an evil liquid.
He puts that on everything. How did I not know Chris doesn't like mustard?

You have to know that, Gus. Yeah.
I think Chris doesn't like two things, mustard and anything to do with ears. No, I don't mind ears.
I just don't like it. I got a video to show you.
No, don't.

I don't want to see your earwax video. On the inside of the ear,

earwax and mustard. He just said a second ago he's the ears don't bother him.
Right now, he is crazy. I don't mind

themselves on the outside. No, I'm talking about like the inner ear.

He loves it. I'm learning a lot.
He's so uncomfortable right now.

Chris is making the mistake of letting everybody know what he doesn't like.

What if mustard got in your ears?

At least I wouldn't have to taste it.

See, I hate pictures of cute animals and

free cars.

I hate it when people just give me money. Yeah, just

hate it. It makes me scared when they pass me blank checks.

Monjour, my name is John Reisinger and I play Matique Onfisouz as an Eric Cochrane ghost monk.

And I would have to say that the last time I laughed, I try to get a good laugh every once in a while, but there was a really funny time where I was at the bank and I was making a transaction and then I was done with my transaction.

And then my friend Barney, he helped me make more of a transaction. And I had such a good laugh.
I thought that was such a fun little joke that Bonnie played. Inadvertently gave you a loan.

Just free loan. God, we're still low on health from that.
Oh, I'm at six HP. Five.
Yeah. You got six hemo points.
Or yeah, yeah, hemo points. Got any of them long rests there, Gus?

Magic food, perhaps. Well, you're theoretically close to your home, right, Ilga? I would think so.
Theoretically. Theoretically.

You all hear a scream down the hall. Who cares? Coming from the other direction.
Then voices are shouting. Tell the truth.
Let go. I don't know anything.
Barney, that second voice is unmistakable.

It's her. You know it.
She's in trouble, though. What are you going to do? What? You know that voice.
She's just down the hallway you were just in.

I run.

You see her. A Sferatu is gripping her arm and won't let go.

But she's not alone. Two young boys run up and start throwing their fists against Sferatu's wings, but it easily knocks himself to the ground.
It's up to you, Barney. Your family needs you.

Marnie needs you.

Bernie runs in. Wait, so where's the space like right now? This would have been back, because you all were in the dregs, you know, doing your transactions in the black market.

This would have been back out in the actual commissary all right barnie runs in and shoots the nosferatu with a silver bolt from this crossbow this feratu oh yeah spheratu yeah make a make an attack roll i rolled an 11.

no do you have lucky no

why don't you sound so offended at that

so what does that do guys i'm just waiting it sounded like chris was hamming and hawing no that's it 11. he rolled an 11.

what yeah it must be because you're running you don't take time you know to set up the shot, but the bolt goes wide and clatters off the wall.

And already, you know, all the battlers in the room were kind of on edge with the scene going down.

And now that you run out and fire off a crossbow bolt, you know, the battlers that are in the room begin very quickly making a beeline for the exits. Then I also have a bonus action.

I mean, we're not in battle. Yeah, I am.

Oh, yeah. I mean, initiative.
Sure, yeah.

Can I take another shot? We'll say that you run up and fire the shot, and that was a we'll call it a surprise.

okay then I want to use my bonus action to cast a spiritual weapon you create a floating spectral weapon within range the last refrigeration or until you cast a spell again when you cast a spell you can make a melee spell attack against a creature within five feet of the weapon on a hit target takes force damage equal to 1d8 plus your spell casting modifier and I'm gonna do that at let me see my spells lots are you gonna do a silly weapon yeah I can't wait to hear what it is I'll do that at third level do a chair that'd be cool no I'm gonna do a vampire stake oh good old stake yeah What kind of like a ribeye?

I give myself an inspiration die.

As you should.

Don't do that. And so now that has its own turn? Castable, you can make a melee spell attack against a creature within five feet.
Oh, okay. Yeah.
So then can you make the attack?

I will attack with it. Okay.
Yeah, in

it's been a while since we referenced it, but in Baldur's Gate, it would get its own initiative. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

It's different in D in five feet. You love doing those in Baldur's Gate.
So convenient. Little axe buddy.
Yeah. All right.
That's a 20. 11 plus 9.
Nice. That hits.

Okay. And then I'm rolling for damage.
That's 8 damage. Does it have any extra bonus stack? Because it's made of silver, Gus.
Miss Nothing. Well, no, it's not made of silver.
I was testing you.

You passed, Gus. Well done.
Good job.

You get to keep DM. I can give myself another inspiration die.
We're screwed.

This Verachu's got so many now.

Oh, no. So what kind of damage does it do? Let me check.
Or does it do like what the weapon attack is? It does. Because it's a spiritual weapon.
Yeah. Force damage.
Force damage. Force damage.
Gotcha.

So Jedi damage. Eight points of Jedi damage.
But I'm not done. Oh.
But wait, there's more. Stinker.

Is he in the room with us?

Yes.

He hasn't used stinker ever. Stinker runs and charges and then takes a bite.
Oh, the dreaded stinker bite. Jumps up and takes a bite at the Nasferatu's farm.
Speratu. There's no Nasfu.

Feratu, Feratu, Feratu. Speratu.
Oh, it's a Sphinx all over again. I was thinking the same thing.

It takes a bite at the bad guy.

If it's a Nasferatu, it has nitrogen oxide, so it has like speed boost. Yeah.
So extra speed. Nas.
Nice. Nice.

Flames come out the back. Yeah, yeah.
Yeah. That's a plus three to hit, and then it's a 1d6 plus one piercing damage.
Throll a d20 and add three. Are they called Nasferatu? Nah.
Sferatu. Nah.

Sorry, stop it. 20.
Or sorry, 18 plus

22.

21, that's a hit. Bra Sferatu.

Skull Sferatu?

The Sferatu is skanking.

Damage. Oh, damn it.
Sorry, sorry. We can't make jokes about Nasferatu all day.
I was reading about the Chris. You don't have to yell.
He does put a tank. You have a microphone in front of your mouth.

When he's going fast, he goes louder. Oh, I rolled a six.
So that's a six. Seven.
Oh, plus one? Nice.

The stinker took a big bite out of him.

Got a little bit of his paw, Sferatu.

They're diminishing returns.

That is good. That's so obvious.
Like, duh, Sferatu.

That's bad. I hate it now.
Yeah.

Welcome to my world. Wait, what? Claw, Sferaltu?

Alright, I'm out. I'm not leaving.
I'm going to get out of here.

Ha ha ha, Sferatu.

Okay, the last one. That was for Fratu.
Kill me. I feel really blossom for Autu right now.

All right. Is there anything else you can do, Chris, or anything else you want to do? I mean, that's all I...
I mean, I guess I move my movement towards as close as I can to get into range.

To get as close to what? To the

Ferratu.

Sephiratu. Ferratu.

What is it? Whatever it is. Just say Ferratu.
Ferratu. But with an S in front of it.
Saferatu. That is what I get.
I think that's as close as we're going to get.

Put an S in front of Saferatu.

Is that it? Yeah, you did it that time.

Whatever. Maybe it's debatable.

Order pizza. Good Zaw.
Seferatu.

Place his.

I already knew the alphabet. He's just sitting here with blankly staring off into the room, just going through stuff.
Y'all. Sferatu.
I already made that one.

Okay, in that case, we'll have everyone roll initiative at this point then. Wee!

Do we even know how many people or what's in there? Like,

do we have a lay of the land at all? So this came back into the commissary, which had the two long tables with the various

battlers. Why it said that they had started making space when they saw the confrontation, then when Barney came out and fired that crossbow bolt, they very quickly started making for the exits.

Sorry, I was thinking of different Sfraw 2 puns, so I didn't hear much.

You and me both. I rolled a 22 on initiative.
I rolled rolled a nat 20. I rolled a 21.
Did that do anything? I also rolled a nat 20. I also rolled a nat 20.
I rolled a nat 20.

Could we make it do something? We all rolled a nat 20. 22? Well, I did.
Mati did, and Barney did. I rolled at 19 plus 2.
21. Those were some of our collectively best rolls.
But I'm at 24.

Barney, what's your dexterity? My dex is 2 or 18. Nice 20.
No, sorry, 15, 15.

18, 24. Three numbers.
9 is 2, 15. Just say what the, yeah, the numbers.
So I'm 14, so you would go before me. Okay.
Well, I see Barney rolled an initiative of nine.

Yeah, I rolled twice because that's my initial role. Oh, right.
Oh, and I also have a bandage on initiative. Do it.
You'll get better than a Nat 20.

Or?

Yeah, thank you. Silly about that.
I have a question. What does my family look like? Just can you describe them to me? That's a great question.

Let me finish my initiative roll right here, and I will get right to that. We all see the family too, right? Maybe you'll find out on your turn.
Okay.

I'm worried. Top of the initiative order is Matique, but I know you did have that question there, Chris.

So, you know, Chris, when you came out, you know, you very clearly see Marnie, who's a female elf, and she's prone on the ground, and alongside her are two strapping boys who you recognize as being Samson and Titus.

Cool names. Actually, I'll tell you what, Barney, why don't you tell me how do they look? Well, I'm

like, I mean, Marnie looks exactly like you remember her and like you saw in your dream

several episodes ago. As far as Samson and Titus, they're not small boys.

They're strong. They're probably, you know, in their early to mid-teens,

you know, from a human perspective. Are those your sons? Yes.
Oh.

So I would say strapping young boys. Yeah.
Samson got dark hair and freckles and looks like his mom.

And it's the taller of the two. And then Titus has the more of a lighter kind of like dirty blonde hair.
It looks like his grandmother on his father's side so Barney's mom

yeah and it's just a little like a little shorter and then a little like just a little cute a little pudgy okay I recall your mom is a nice Irish woman named Blarney Farney

how did you know

Blarney

and then and then Barney is she's the most beautiful woman I've ever seen and she's got dark hair and and and freckles and a cute little nose I like how you described your sons in your voice, Chris, and then your wife is Barney, which is really sweet.

I think Barney has a soft spot for his wife. I think I want to go introduce myself.
They need to meet their Uncle Chip. We got to save this family, King.

Uncle Chip's got a few people going before him. Oh, shoot.

First up in the initiative order is Mate, then after Mateed is Barney. Do I see these people? Yeah, you run into the commissary, and the scene looks as I've described.

There is a female elf and two boys on the ground who are at the feet of a sferatu who is currently being bitten by a stinker and assaulted by a spiritual weapon did you say what kind of weapon it was a steak oh that's right a steak yeah because you made that super wicked steak yeah the new york strip

please give me this wish

i'm about to die how many spheratus are in the room one sferatu okay we can take care of that i'm sure he hasn't called us back up is he the only one that seems aggressive correct The only other people in the room are the battlers who are making their way to the exits.

Gotcha. Okay.
Well, I suppose I should assist in this battle. I guess I'd rush in.
Can I go in?

The Sferatu's probably facing away from us, right? Yeah, he was because he was dealing with Barney. He's probably starting to turn at this point.
He might be still.

Yeah, I'll say he's still facing away because of Stinker. Okay.
I'm going to stab him with a spear of Superior Baker. Remind me, I think I have two attacks or two damages.

I guess I should roll roll for attack first, see if it lands, and then I can ask this question. Another

20. Anat 20 twice in a row.
You're rolling good today.

We should shut down Russia teeth more often.

I was gonna say, you're rolling good at 20.

The 20s are wrong.

The 20s are off the charts today. Oh, my gosh.
Hey, you know, tragedy plus time equals comedy.

It's been a day. We've been 24 hours.
All right, yeah, that's a...

Yeah, 20. Wow, that's a 29.
That's a critical hit. 2d6 plus 6.
It has the little symbol that looks like a piercing thing, and then there's 2d8 plus 6. What is the 2d8 plus 6? So, yeah, it's versatile.

So if you wield it one-handed, it's 1d6. Then if you wield it two-handed, it's 1d8.
And if I wield it two-handed, what is that? I can do that and then switch off of it, right?

Because I don't have a shield or anything. Right, exactly.
It's just a gun. I do it with two hands.
Do it. Yeah, it's just to give you that versatility if you want to use a shield or not.

I'm versatile. Exactly.

that is uh 13 plus the crit great so it did one of your d8s in here it did two d8 so uh we're gonna modify that five to an eight so we'll add three to this so 16 okay i want to make that a stunning strike pick okay what does that entail that means you do a con save of dc14.

Okay, I have a plus four, which means I need a 10 or better. Don't do it.
A three.

Yeah.

Yeah. Seven? Does that make it? No, I don't know.
You are stunned, which is great.

So since you're stunned, I'm just going to go ahead and keep hitting you. I'm pretty sure it's like a punching bag.
You're just like going to use this for a like speed bag. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm going to go ahead and do the exact same attack on you again with the spear. All right.
That's a nat 20 again. That's a gnat 20 again.
That's a nat 20. Another one.
Oh, my God.

Yeah, so we'll do the same thing again.

It's going to automatically roll the 2d8. We'll make the second one an 8.
Alright, so that's 20 points of damage. Okay.
I'm going to keep hitting him.

I'm going to cast Flurry of Blows and kick this vampire. That one's only a 16.
That's good.

That hits, I should say. Then that does five points of

magic piercing damage. With your talents.
Yes. And then I will do it again.
That's a bad one. That one.
Critical fail. That misses.

No, I don't want to use it.

I hit him three times already. Yeah.
I'm silly. What?

I've got six HP. I'm fine.

He's stunned at you. You might hold on to the end spray for later.
All right. Just a peek behind the curtain.
I made a roll to see if you act.

Since you critically failed, if you accidentally stomped on one of the children and you made it, so you're okay. Oh, okay.
Oh, glad that that.

He has two. It's fine.

Stomped.

They were off balance because they

critically failed on the... Stomp is an aggressive word.
No, like trying to get the

Spiratu. It's also a show in New York.
Stomp. Oh, I remember watching that choir class.
I saw Stomp in Austin once. Oh, yeah? Yeah, like 20

25 years ago or something. Wow.
I just imagined Gus that night practicing in his underwear in his kitchen. Just going doom, do, do, do, do, do, do, dunk.
Why does he have to be in his underwear?

Because I always imagine Gus in his underwear.

It's how you're confident enough to speak in front of him, right? Yeah. The second I get home, it all comes off.

Okay, is that that's it for Mateed? Se finie. All right, so Barney, you are up.
Your friend Mate has come through and really put some damage on this Ferratu.

This Ferratu's looking definitely much weaker than before. And stunned.
And stunned? I want to hold up my crossbow to its chest and shoot a bolt into its heart.

You got advantage on this attack. Yeah, because of the stun.
Normally I'd say, you know, an enemy would try to move away or wrestle with you, but because of the stun, we'll let it go.

Barney's kind of John Wicked. He'll let it go.

They're stunned. Well, normally, all you would get is advantage.
I wouldn't say you could, like, hold up a crossbow to their heart. Oh, oh, oh, you're talking about him.
Yeah. 19.

This is going to be the coldest kill in the series yet. Yeah, that hits.

Did five damage. But, but the Silverbane bolts, they're code in silver and offer a plus two bonus to attack and damage rolls.
Alright, so that's seven points of damage.

Do you say anything when you fire the bolt? Uh come on Barney. Come on, Barney.
Do not Sveratu today.

Yeah, yeah. Can you use some working better?

Yeah, you say that and you pull the trigger on your crossbow and the bolt pierces the Sveratu's heart.

He's talking like Matit.

And it, like, for a brief moment, it freezes, then its entire form turns to ash, and it falls to the ground in a pile at your feet. I have a feeling we might get in trouble for this.

Matith starts shuffling the dust under a carpet. Just using wings to go through.
If someone comes in, they're like, have you seen Bill? It's his birthday today. Are we able to reclaim those bolts?

The silver bolts? I'll say you can reclaim this one. If you want to look for the other one, it might take a while because it went wide and hit like the wall.
Sure. Okay.
Barney turns to his family.

Yeah, I guess at this point, Marnie, you know, would look up and see the Svaratu has turned into ash and says, oh, this is bad. This is bad.

Marnie, it's me. Yes, thank you.
Yeesh. What?

Marnie, it's me. It's Barney.
It's good to meet you, sir.

I'm standing next to Marnie, right? Yes.

Since I'm just so awesome, can I tell if they're a ghost if I were to check? Do you have to make a check? You just know, right? I would imagine. Yeah, throw a chair through them.
It's like Gaydar.

Yeah, yeah.

It's been perfect up till now. Can I get that excuse for you? I haven't used it on you yet.
Marnie, from your perspective, what you know, Marnie does not appear to be a ghost. No.

It's Barney. Oh, yes.
I'm Marnie. These are my children.
Get up, boys.

Boys,

it's me. It's dad.
They like look at each other and, you know, then just kind of like start look. We'll say Samson looks at his feet and Titus just kind of looks at his mom.

It's Barney. Um, well, we have to go.
No, please don't go. Count Vixie will be very angry if we don't finish our tasks, and we'll get in trouble if we're found here with this pile of ash.

Please don't go. Wait, wait, wait.
I'm gonna interject here. Hey, hey, hi, hey, it's me.
It's Chipani. How's it going, everybody? Good.
That was a heck of a fight.

Hey, Marnie, how long have you been in the service of Count Trixie? Just out of curiosity. Count Vixie.
Count Vixie, so sorry.

How long have you been working under them? She kind of like furrows her brow and looks at you and says, That doesn't make sense. Do you not know how many years?

Or do you just, is it hard to recollect? We've always served Count Vixie. But I like put a number.
No, you haven't. Make me a wisdom check with advantage, Barney.
I have a theory. Not 2025.

You realize someone's missing here. Oh, your daughter, Calliope, is not here.

Where's Calliope? I'm sorry, sorry, who? Our daughter! Our daughter? What? She looks a little uncomfortable and says, like I said, we really must be going. Calfici will be very upset with us.

How are you able to get up to the quarters of the Vamp? She points east. All right, out that door, the room.

Out the door to the east. The stairwell is just through there.
In fact, we should probably be returning there right now. Come on, boys.
Wait, no, Marty.

She gets her boys by the hand and begins leading them out and leaves the room to the east. I'm sorry.

Well, this is awkward. Yeah, yeah.
Um, anyways, Barney, I think maybe your family has been brainwashed. Because I believe you when you say that that is them, right? Everyone, right?

We believe, Barney, that that is in fact his family, and he is not pretending that other strangers are his family.

Barney, I think it also could be a thing like, seems like you've aged, but they haven't, so maybe there's, you know, what's afflicting Elga is maybe impacting them. I would not say that.

That's not a good thing to say. They did not seem to even know who Barney was.
They're like, I'm supposed to be the one who's not supposed to have the tactia. And they also didn't know

his daughter, which would be also her daughter and their sister.

Well, why?

Perhaps what we can do is Barney. Barney's after him.
Okay.

So you leave east out of the commissary, and you enter a dark chamber echoing with snores and furnished with rows of shoddy coffins and cobwebs in the corner.

It seems like some of the coffins are occupied by sleeping battlers. And then from here, there's another door that exits out to the east.
And as you walk in you see those doors closing.

Okay, and so Barney runs towards it. You run through those doors and you enter a bustling chamber with battlers running in and out from the northern and western doors.

The western doors are the ones you just came in. To the east is a rack of identical robes and to the south is a bench of identical belts.
It's like a locker room for battlers, I guess. And do I see...

Make a...

call it an investigation check. 15.
Chip's also doing a loose tail on on this. So you're following Barney in? Yeah.

You don't see Marney and the boys, but you do notice that the door to the north is closing or has closed as you're entering. Barney rushes towards it.

Marnie and the boys is a great band name, I think.

That is a good name.

Yeah, you run to the north, and this is, you know, a wooden door that leads down a passage to a stairwell.

Can I also ask, and I know this might be too late to do a check or anything like that, did I recognize them at all? Make a, let's call it a wisdom check with advantage. Okay.

They were like your

chambermaids like that. The cleanup or poop.

Okay, that's a nat. Oh, gosh.

Those are bad rolls. Four is with advantage, because I rolled a nat one.

One and a three. And I don't have any inspo dice, so that is my roll.
No, they do not look familiar to you. You've never seen them before.
That you can recall. What if I go

and I like screen shoes? Rub your your eyes. As you're doing that, Quiffley runs in.

Yeah, I was going to say it sounds like

what are you doing? I thought you would have gone upstairs by now, Eric. Well, Quiffley, we have a bit of a situation going on.

There is just a

woman and her two sons in here, and my friend Barney here, this old man who is my friend, don't ask questions.

He claims that they are his family, but they don't seem to remember him. Do you know who they are? I don't see them.
Where did they go? Her name is Marnie, and their sons are Titus

and Samson. I want to say Marnie's not here.
He's left. He's ran.
You're like running. Yeah, you're up the other hallway.
Yeah. The doorway to the north led to a stairwell that went down.

The doorway to the north went down, they led to a stairway that I haven't talked about yet. Copy that.
Marnie, Samson, and Titus? That sounds like they could be Count Vixie's battlers.

Yes, that's correct. I know of them, but I don't know them very well personally.

Are they vampires? No, they're battlers. What does that mean? They're servants for Count Vixie.

Battlers are typically victims of vampire bites that are compelled to serve other vampires. Oh, like familiars.
Similar, but not quite the same.

Do they not age kind of like vampires as well? Yes, that's correct. And who is Count Vixie? He's one of the bigwigs upstairs.
Oh, does he, uh, he's like friends with with Dracula kind of bigwig?

Yeah, he's well to do.

Okay.

I don't want to interrupt your Quiffley conversation. Can I step in as well? Quickly, this is my friend Chip.
He's a... Don't tell my father, but Chip has kind of been like a little father figure.

Hey there, Chip Haney, pleasure to meet you. I'm about a sixth of the age of this little one.
Don't ask questions. It's weird.

Quiffley, when you have a vampire bite like a battler, does that also impact memory and things like that? Like, what are some of the effects of a vampire bite?

Typically, we can't recall our lives from before we were converted. Was that including you? You don't remember? Yes.
This is all I've ever done. Oh, that's very unfortunate.

Now I feel kind of bad for being part of this system.

Well, you benefited from the system.

Yikes.

But you really should hurry upstairs. Okay, yes.
And that is this way, correct? Correct. Just go east here, through the dressing room, then north, and you'll be at the stairs to go up.

Okay, and is that where uh Count Vixie is as well? Yes, definitely upstairs. All right, team, roll out.
Yeah, Quiffly, you could come with us, too, if you want. Oh, I can't.

I'm still running errands, but I will be upstairs shortly. Hey, we're we're the autobats.
Roll out. Well, that's good.

I like that.

Okay.

Hey, Chip, I think you and that Cliffly guy are gonna be good friends yeah yeah if i could help him get his memory back that'd be kind of cool because you know he's he has uh slave owners or you know

so you guys follow after barney going in the direction that quifly told i would say yes yeah yeah yeah so elga chip and mateed you go east following barney and you enter a dark chamber echoing with snores furnished with rows of shoddy coffins and cobwebs in the corner and some of the coffins are occupied by sleeping battlers and there is a door leaving this room to the east.

Are there name placards or anything like that that indicate whose bed is what person's? There are no name placards. Okay.
And Barney's already ahead at this point.

Yeah, Barney, we'll say you're, you know, going to the stairwell at this point. I'll continue into the locker room place to just keep an eye on Barney.

I don't want to let him get out of my sight too far.

Yeah, so you continue east and you enter the bustling chamber with battlers running in and out from the northern and western doors, which you just came through. Can I grab a belt and a robe?

Yeah, there's to the east is a rack of robes and to the south is a rack of belts.

So I guess on your way through, you could just grab a belt from the south then a robe from the east and then continue your way north. The robes appear to be like cheaply made black robes.

Make me a perception check. Six.
Sure is a robe. Yep, it's a robe and the belts are made of leather.
Wait a second.

Before I put that leather belt on, is this the kind of leather belt that like Carol had? Is there any like weird? Make an investigation check. 17.

Yeah, these seem to be magical belts very similar to the one that Carol was wearing. However, these belts do not appear to have fangs or vials attached.
But it has like the sigil.

Yeah,

on the buckle is a sigil. It's the shape of a red blood drop, and inside is the outline of a white upside-down triangle.
Okay. Which would make a thick tattoo.
Yeah, bra.

Am I right? Had us up at Sticky Dragon Pod. What's his voice? Don't know.
I don't like it.

It's your broth raw, too. Yeah,

right about. I don't know.
I guess

my idea is that, you know, we

disguise because it seems seems like we're going further in. I know that we're already in disguise as vampires, but it's been a bad disguise so far.
It's gone fine. We haven't gotten in a fight.

So far, Elga, just tell everyone that you're her friend, and you're good to go. I mean, you can change if you want.
I like how I look. Yeah, yeah, I'll appear to be a battler.

Okay, you could be my battler. So you put on the

robe and the belt. Yes.
He's a battler in training. Save my battle.
But Elga's Elga and Mateed is still just wearing the cloak from earlier. Yeah, like a dummy.

Marty is a little further ahead up the stairwell. Yep.
I kick a chip. Is there anything else of note in this room? No, just the door you came from and then a door to the north.
Okay.

All right, shall we continue north? Go get me some dishes. I think I smell Barney went that way.
Yeah, you all go north and you see Barney just a little ahead of you.

You know, you're moving maybe a little faster than he is, but when you go through the door to the north, it's a small chamber with an ascending spiral staircase, and it is flanked by two ignis stone bat gargoyles on either side.

Oh, there's a passcode, probably, huh? Yeah, so at this point, I'll say you catch up to Barney here at the base of the stairwell. Should I go up to them and investigate the gargoyles? Guard goils.

See if they're the same type as the ones we saw out of the front gate. Yeah, make a, what do you want to call that? A wisdom check or perception check? I'll leave it up to you.
I'll do perception.

That is a 20. Nice.
Yeah, they appear to be very similar to the ones you saw before outside of the vampspire. You think it's the same password? Hello, gargoyles.
Stoker. Stoker.
It is me, Elga.

May me and my friends pass up here? They're not going to say anything like like the other ones as well. There is no response.
And you went through fine last time.

Yeah, and I'll probably be able to go up fine. All right, Chip, which one of us will go through? Barney, are you waiting for any of this?

Right? Barney seems to be on a mission.

I think Barney would be going for it. Oh, yeah.

Go ahead, Barney. No.

Like Matitz's son. Oh, yeah, you go on through.
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All right, so Barney goes through. Does he say anything or do anything? I think you just charge through it first.
Uh-oh.

You don't want to throw like a password out? What is a password? Oh, Stoker was the one that got us into the castle. Stoker.
Barney, you start rushing through and say the password as you go through.

And very like with lightning fast fast reflexes, one of the guard goils lashes out and claws at you. And he said Stoker? Yeah, I figured it was not going to be the same password.
Yeah.

It hits AC.

You never want to use the same password twice. No, it misses.
Okay. We'll say it hits you, but the claw bounces off of your armor.

Both guard goils kind of like pop to life and start blocking your way, hissing. Like blocking my way to the staircase.

They attacked you, Barney, and then, you know, the attack bounced off your armor, and then they, you know, kind of hopped to life and blocked the path going forward.

Are they like living gargoyles, or are they just like, like turrets, I guess? Yeah, what are they made of? Looks like they're ignis stone, but, you know, they started moving.

Like, I don't know if you would say animated or living, but they are, like, moving. They're not just attacking from like a set position.
They actually moved, got up, and then, like, stood in your way.

And they're stone. Yeah.
Well, one, I think I, do I still have my spiritual weapon? What's the duration on that? One minute. No.
Okay. Would you consider them a stone object?

Depending on the context, yes. Because they're not strictly objects, depending on what.
Look at stone shape.

You touch a stone object to medium size or smaller, a section of stone no more than five feet in any dimensions, and form it into any shape that suits your purpose. Maybe.

Let me see how big these are. They're medium.
It's probably not any bigger than five feet in any direction. Probably right around there.

We'll say, yeah, why not? A couple of short kings. All right.
Well, then I touch one of them and I shape it into

something silly, something goofy. Go on, because your imagination

is so silly. I shape it.
Come on, comedy podcast. You know,

I just don't think that Barney's in a comedic mood. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So then what's his form? He forms them into teardrops. He makes them into something sad.
I make it into a sword shape.

You've made them a weapon.

You know, but like an animated

weapon.

Okay, well, I was going to say a sword, then I could pick it up and stab the other one with itself.

Okay, yeah, you

know. You make the gargoyle into a stone.

Oh, yeah, a fire. Yes, sir.
That's fine. All right, no, this.
I do this. I didn't say don't stop.
I turned it into a stone that's attached to the ground. Like, so it's just a block.

So you just turn him into a stone block. That's

merged with the ground of the stone. Okay.
So you make like a Minecraft block. Stone block.
It makes it into a swamp for Mario. Yeah.

I don't want to be a negative person, but he just made something that blocked the stairwell more. No, no, like a ground.

No, that doesn't block the way, like, like a that's just like a thing on the ground.

Yeah, so a five-foot cube of stone. Yeah, that, and it doesn't block the doorway, right? The stairwell.

Visually, I, I, you can push it out of the way.

I'm not gonna be, I'm not gonna be. Okay, that's fine, that's fine.
I'm not gonna be doing that.

I was trying to point it out so that Chris could potentially turn into something that was helpful if needed. I got you.
So, uh, one of the guard goals turns into that.

Can you do anything about the other one? Well, that was my, I guess, action. So then, my bonus action, man, I'm running out of spills.
We're not in combat, just FYI. We're not.

Have you rolled initiative? Yeah, but I mean, if you don't do too much, otherwise we will roll initiative.

Let's keep it loose. Let's keep it fun.
Let's keep it rolling. Jeez.
I'm running out of things to do. I'm running out of things to do.
If only you got a stone sword.

No.

It's got to stop. You're just being that way.
I just got to imagine stabbing a stone standard.

I know what I want to do. I want to use my bonus action and I want to shove it out of the way with my telekinetic powers.
So it shoves to the side so I can continue on my way.

Is there a weight limit on that? No. A target must succeed a strength saving throw of DC-16 or be moved five feet.
I was about to say he's like, it can move anything, Gus.

He can move a mountain five feet. Yeah.

One creature within 30 feet. Can Matid do something while Barney's doing this? Yeah.

I want to go back in the last room we were in. Okay.
Okay. Grab my crossbolt.

No, the room before that after that gonna get a running start no this the sleeping room okay the sleeping room got it uh it failed its save i rolled an eight plus four that's a 12.

so it gets shoved aside and i run past it and continue okay yeah the guard go hill seems very shocked at this turn of events i don't know if it's ever anyone's ever shoved it

what the

doesn't make any sense and then yeah you run past as you run past mate runs back out to the room with the sleeping battlers well i was gonna do that because i didn't think that it was going to get shoved, but let's say Mate witnesses this.

Does the guard go get back into place? Yeah, I think the guard goal would reset back to its neutral position where it was initially. Okay, then I would like to go in the sleeping room.
Okay.

Can I find a little sleeping battler and just go up to Mungo and like, like, just try to like whisper, like, excuse me, um, I am new here as a battler.

Um, what's the password to get upstairs to the vampires? Um, uh, well,

just put on a belt. Oh, okay.
I forgot. You know, new new stuff.
Thank you. Go to sleep.

I go back in, grab two, four belts. No, you only need three or four.
Well, I want to give one to the man that ran, just in case he might. I think Blaine has one on already, right? You put one on?

Yeah, I'm in disguise. You said I was stupid.
You said, oh, I like the way I look.

I guarantee you, it men's warehouse.

Jim Aiden is not so dumb now, is he?

Oh,

i grab three belts put one on and i'll give one to elga although elga could just probably pass through right yeah do i need one uh

we have i grab one just in case could i try to go through before yeah you pass through and the guard goal does not move or react at all

Okay, then I just have my belt and I'm holding one for Barney. And I approach the guard goal and act like I'm walking through.
You strap on the belt and you're able to pass right through, no problem.

As I pass the gargoyle, I say, that's right.

I walk through as well. Okay, yeah, you follow your.
Oh, I tell the gargoyle, don't let him through.

Barney, I assume you put yours on.

Barney's off. Okay.
So y'all begin running up the stairs or going up the stairs following Barney, who seems to be charging ahead. Everyone, roll me a perception check.

That's going to be a good one, I can tell. Nat 20, 24.

What is it? This is the Nat 20 episode. Oh, I love it.
15. 12.
Yeah. Eight.
8.

You plus me, me because a 20. Yeah.
You're too busy looking at your belt. This is a new shiny belt.
Reminds me of my wife died.

Which you needed assistance for.

Go ahead and give yourself an inspiration. Hey!

Chip. It works.
You see, it's just, you just gotta, it's, uh, what is it? Uh. Pity? No, it's

not whatever quality. All right, so we'll deal with you, Chip, first.
It's just maybe the pressure of all of this, you know, the chaos of the Tales of Doc running up here to the next level.

Like, it's just, maybe it's getting to you because all you can see right now is red. Mate,

you see this is an extensive hallway that seems circular. It's adorned with red velvet carpet and is lit by golden sconces and ornamental glass chandeliers.
Pretty.

Barney, you're in the same boat as Mateed. Maybe you're like rushing ahead.
Get out of my boat. Elka, do you know?

You see, of course, each door is lavishly and uniquely decorated, either with gold, jewelry, you know, fancy things, but none of them are labeled. And in the distance, you think you hear bells.

These resonate much deeper. Okay.
Do I, like, recognize this hallway? Yeah, you know this area.

Like I said, all these doors are unique and lavishly decorated, and you remember what the door to your home looks like. What does it look like again?

At the same time, ready? One, two, three. No,

you can construct it. So the door to like essentially...

So it's a dark black door

and it has

it like Onyx or some exotic material or is it like a black wood? Okay. Onyx is cool.
Good Pokemon.

And it's got gems kind of decorating it all the way down.

And it says a big VB in gold with like kind of like cursive writing. When you say gems all the way down, do you mean covering the entire door or like in

columns going down the door? Columns going down. That bedazzled it.
Oh, pinstripes. Yeah, I got lord one afternoon.
No. Eternity of living gets a better entire

room.

But like the tiny little

game perspective, you know, Elga, since you grew up here and you know, you know, many of the count families up here, while you're here on this level of the vampspire, make sure if you do any charisma-based checks, you have advantage on them

when dealing with other counts and their families. There is.
I got there is.

Okay, cool. So I must know: if I'm familiar with this hallway and our door, I must be familiar with who lives where, right? To an extent, the problem is you don't remember where your door is.

But I know what it looks like.

You'll know it when you see it. Let's go find it.
Well, are we also not trying to find a count or count Trixie? Vixie? Vixie. Dixie? Sure, we could do both.

I don't know what we're trying to do first, because I'm home and I want to see my family, but I also know Barney wants to figure out what's going on. Barney's off, right?

Yeah, I'll say you caught up to Barney. Like, you're kind of like rubber banding here.

So you catch catch up to Barney here, and then it's up to, like, Barney or you guys if, you know, it's gonna happen. Alright, this finds a Vixie.

Wait, so we're all collectively in this, like, it's a circular room, you said? It's like a circular hallway.

Everyone else, you realize Chip is looking at the ground. He's looking at the floor.
Low perception, you know me.

That's why all he saw was red. Yeah.

So the floor is red. Looking all around, it's like, there's like a bunch of doors, like...
Yeah, it's just seemingly like almost endless doors. It's like your block, your cul-de-sac.

Okay, look through all the different...

Was there any movement when I came in? Well, we heard bells, he said. He wants to know if a door closed, kind of like he saw Helmardy.
Making...

Perception check for me, Barney. Okay.
Solid 12. That's better than a fragile 12.
It's hard to tell.

You didn't necessarily hear anything else. Just maybe the shock of the opulence and the ringing of the bells kind of drowned other things out.
The bells? And you said they are deeper sounding, right?

Yeah, like not like a small ting-ting-ting-ting, but like a deeper resonation. Like a big, heavy bell.

Not like a church, a cathedral or a church bell, right? But you know, somewhere in between. Is it because we're near the source, or is this a different.

Do you think that this is a different significant type of bell? I'll have to investigate that.

Yeah, we'll have to find out. And I'm sorry, I should have said this earlier.
Elga, you also know the name of this level of the vampspire.

Just like the first level was the Tails Adoc, you know that this level of the Vampspire is called the Clostrid. Welcome to the Clostrid.
This is where my residence is.

Yeah, what is it? It is

a claustrophobic.

I don't know if Elga would have ever thought to wonder about that or ask that. It's like, it's just reality.
It's like one of the things you don't

think about. Are we allowed to know? Maybe we'll find out.
Well, let's go to the website. Let's see if we can refresh your memory and find the Vixie house.
I hear those bells.

Should we go towards towards those? We could do that as well. I'm easy peasy.
So it's getting married. Or died.

Or both. You know, bells can mean multiple things.
Sorry, go ahead. So your door has a VC for your...
Nope. What was it? VB.
VB.

Do any of the doors have lettering that might indicate who the Vixie is? He said they had none of them had signage on them. Yeah, they're not really labeled.

Except for presumably the one that has a VB on it. It's also funny for everyone's V, because it's just vampires.
It's just V.

This is not helpful.

I I will say this just to expand on something that was asked a little earlier. From your understanding, Elga, Claustrid is like, it's a name.
It's like an ancient Vanian name. It's just.
Okay.

So it doesn't mean anything. Right.
It's just like... Because I know Tails of Doc was like...
Right, that had a mean. This is just more like a name.
It's named after something.

Is there a heads of doc? Perhaps. Get out.
Okay. I'm going to flip this coin.
Give you my encouragement. So Elga doesn't know where Vixie is, right? Correct.
Okay. I go to a door and knock on it.

Bolt. Yeah, well, that's what I am.

Okay, you knock on it, and you hear a voice from the other side say, Come in. Oh, this did not go the way I thought it was gonna go.

I open the door. You open the door, and it opens up into a foyer.
Oh, is there someone there? Yeah, in the middle of the foyer, you see a golden-haired mohawk halfling.

Oh, who's like looking around at the wall with their back to you? Looking around at the wall with their back to me. Bonjour.
Shush. Oh, I'm

right here.

Who's here? Do you hear it? Oh,

right there. She points at the wall.
Is it a rat? She's just pointing at the wall. I look at the wall.
There doesn't appear to be anything there. I hear them.
What do you hear? Rats. Okay.

I'm gonna let you deal with that on your own.

I'm here to deliver a package to Count Vixie. Do you know which door it is? Down the hall.
But what's it look like? It's the one that Count Vixie has.

Yeah, if I'm asking you which door, I'm asking for more than that.

I can't be bothered with that right now. I'm in the middle of something.
It's because it is what it is. What size is this person? It's a halfling, so pretty half.

I walk in and I grab them.

What are you doing? You put Countess Vixoft down. Countess what? Vixsoft.
Soft. Vixsoft? Yeah.
Which door is Count Vixie? How dare you lay your hands on me, battler? I'm not a battler.

I'm dressed like a vampire. She points at the belt you're wearing.
Have fun explaining that. It's underneath my cloak.
Fashion sticker.

It's like wearing Carhartt, but you're rich. I rip it off.

You rip the belt off? Sure.

Oh no. Yeah.

He doesn't have one on. This might not be good.
You go to take the belt off and you find you can't get it unfastened. That's cool.

Oopsie.

That's fine. I don't care that you think I'm a batla.
Switch doors and I will leave you alone to the rats. You are speaking to the partner of Count Vixie.
Oh.

Then why did you point this down the hallway? Because I'm busy and I don't know where he is. Wait, are you in your home or someone else's home? I'm in my home, looking for the rat.

Well, wait, do you live with Count Vixie? Yes! So when you point to Down's Allway... He's down there somewhere.
I don't know where. Oh, you're very bad at this.
I'm busy.

Okay, I put the halfling down, and I dust them off.

And I go, thank you for your help.

Are your battlers in here? No! That's why I'm looking for the rats. Oh, okay.

I will let maintenance know that you have a rat problem. Okay.
You have a wonderful day. Get out.
Knock, knock, maintenance here.

Get out of the door.

And tackle Tip to the ground and close the door. It's under the order of pizza.

Which direction did they point?

Which direction did they point? Further down the hallway. Because you all came in up the stairs, and then this was presumably the first door, and then there's more doors.

I make note of what that door is that I just came through, so I remember it. Okay.
Could we start going down, through the doors to see if I recognize my door? What did they say, Vicsoft? Vixoft.

Vicsoft, yeah. Vicsoft.
Yes, you can as well, Barbara. Vixie and Vicsoft.
Vixie and Vicsoft. I feel like they might be related.

They have their partners. Yeah, they're partnering.
Right, but like. It might be incestuous.
Yeah, that's what I'm saying. That's what I'm getting at.
Right about that. Let's go.

How dare you make that claim of empire? Yeah, nobility never does that.

Let's go down the hallway. Yeah.
Or Mate goes down the hallway. Yeah.
Did you explain what you found in there? No, I just just go without explaining.

Okay, no, I say that, okay, that's where Count Vixie's room is, but they are not Zanzio, Danza always. Let's follow me.
Okay, let's go.

And I'm gonna be looking at the doors to see if I recognize mine on the way down. And I knock on all the doors as I walk through.

I've got a lot of risk, a lot to talk about if you're doing that. I just ding-dong ditch every single one of them.

Awful. Actually, I'll tell you what, everyone make me a perception trip.
Does Dico need to go patty? I have a bag I'd like to put in right now.

18. 15.
What did I was I rolling? I was making a poop joke. Perception.
Yes. That's uh

14. I'm the perception master now.

Behold! He's looking up. Behold!

I see y'all.

Well, you are in a way, Chip. You can tell as you're going down the hallway that the floor is continually rising.
Like you're going in a spiral.

So you're even though you're overrising in a circular hallway, yeah, you're continuing to rise as if you're going up

a spire. Okay.
So yeah, you go for several minutes until finally you do see a door that looks familiar, Elka. What did it look like again? A big black onyx door with gems all the way down,

and vertical lines with a VB written in gold cursive. Oh, that was it, yeah.
This is the one. This is it.
I found it. He just goes, that's not the one.

This one has all of that, except the VB is not in cursive.

BV.

Oh.

Ponvat. Yeah.

Maybe they're partners. Yeah, yeah.
Pon Vat. Could I open the door? Yeah, you open the door.
Guys, this is this is my place. Okay, it was lovely meeting you.
We will see you later.

Be sure to take your shoes off. We're dropping your little girl off.

Yeah, I don't think Barney.

Lovely homeby. Well, maybe my family could help figure out what's going on and who where your family is and what's going on with them and how to maybe break this curse.

Yeah, Barney, I think we lost the scent, and you know, I think Elga's family could probably help us. But if you wanna go off and separate from a group that's great dd tactics you know

i i don't i can't leave them again right we're not saying

uh they're in the building we are going to figure out where they are in the building and maybe more information of what is their uh situation from experts of the building and the situation we gotta formulate a strategy here barn we can't just rush in headlong you know i i think we're i think that this is the right path forward i know i know how you feel though at least we know they're here they could not have left the building yeah do you know if they're in elga's room

okay okay let's go in so you did you open the door yeah yeah is it open you yeah yeah it's unlocked you open the door and similar to the previous home uh you went into the door opens into a palatial foyer adorned with immaculate marble fountain bubbling with blood on either side of the fountain are two respective chains one with a ruby handle and the other with an ivory handle do i remember what these chains do make me a wisdom check with advantage.

That is the difference between the types of bells that it rings. One's battler and then the other one's that deeper one.
Okay, that is a 17 and then a so 17. Yeah, you do remember.

The ruby chain, if you pull it, it rings bells alerting Sfratu of an emergency. Oh.
The ruby one. Okay.
Yeah, and then the one with the ivory chain rings Quiffley's personal belt to summon him. Ah.

You said his belt? Bell. Bell.
Okay. Wait, does that mean that those bells that we heard earlier, the deeper ones, are summoning Sfrat to here? Don't Don't know.
We don't know. But possibly.
Uh-oh.

And from this foyer, you can either go west or east. Let's go west.
Alright, come on, guys. Come on to my mikasa sukasa.
Welcome in.

Sukasa, so formal, Elka. Don't touch any of anything.
Okay, thank you. It's like that feeling when you were a kid and you went to one of your friends' house and you're just kind of like, the little

things anxious, you know? Or like when you're showing people around your house as a kid and you're just like, that's where I sat and I ate my bubble gum.

And then this is the window I looked out and I saw a pigeon flying. That's how Blaine introduces his house as an adult.
Yeah, it's true. Very true.
You walk west into the unliving room.

Oh, Micah, you.

Here, you find a brick fireplace that lights what would be a cozy unliving room, but right away you notice all of the furniture is overturned, including overstuffed aurochs leather armchairs and a couch made from scales.

Like someone was looking for something? Or like a cool man?

It's been ransacked. Like it doesn't look like intentional.
It looks like... Correct.
Okay.

A jewel-framed painting that clearly once hung over the fireplace now lies ripped near the cinders of the fireplace. Oh my goodness.

Well, can I see what the painting showed? Yeah, you take a look at it and it appears to be a family portrait with a jacinth-encrusted frame.

The painting has been marred and it looks like it fell on the fire stoker and some ember-singed parts of the portrayal. All that's left are two little girls.

You recognize, of course, Elga, but on the portrait as well is Avina, who is straight-faced with piercing blue eyes, wearing a black blouse and blue skirt.

Elga, what did you look like in this painting? In this painting, I look the exact same as I do now. I'm holding Boris, my teddy bear.

And I also have a red cardigan over my clothes that I don't currently have with me right now. Yeah, nice.
But curly blonde hair, kind of cream blouse with my locket on, and then my red skirt.

May I see this? The painting? Yeah, I'm not gonna tell you what to do with your eyeballs. No, I mean,

is it on the floor or on on the wall? Yeah, it's on the wall. I'm sorry.
I'm sorry, it's on the floor. Otherwise, on the wall, yeah.
Could Barney pick it up and cast mending? Yeah, why not?

I'm imagining it's the scene in Beauty and the Beast where she sees the painting of the prince and like pushes the fabric up and it like reveals his face. She goes, oh, gross.
Puts it back down.

Reading through mending, it wouldn't fix the entire painting, but it would kind of restore it a bit.

It kind of, you know, fixes some of the singed portions and repairs some of the tears. Parts of it are still missing, though, because they're burnt off.

So mending can fix tears, but not necessarily things that have been burned and destroyed. What's happening here? Something.
I feel like those faces are going to be important literally.

Yeah, do we see the faces? No.

But is it clear? No, you can't see. It's not just the faces that are missing.
It's like a lot of the body as well. Could I tell if it's just one body or if it's like two or more?

Like where there originally, is there room for like two people? If there's me and my sister,

you would presume there's enough room for two people in that space. Oh, wow.
This is crazy, because I haven't seen my mother in a very long time. Perhaps we should investigate the other side of your.

Or maybe there's a smart investigating here. You haven't seen your mother in a very long time.
No. Can you elaborate? She left when I was when I was pretty young.
Hmm.

To get like cigarettes or something.

I don't really know why.

But

she was an elf. So I don't know what else.
Maybe she had some to do, I don't know.

And what was she like like you? No. We really should have asked each other more questions when we met each other.
You know, I'm starting to realize we're all just kind of strangers.

I don't know anything about you guys. We've only known each other for a week.
Yeah, it's true. You're learning you, Chip.
You tell us everything. Anything that comes into your brain.

I'm in my fitting book. I'm a big old purple boy.
Maybe we close some of that book. No, no, no.
I'll tell you more. Let's save some of that book for later.

Yeah, do we see anything else in this room? Like anything? Nothing else. Just a door leading to the north and a door leading to the south.

And you, of course, Elga, know that the door to the south leads to your room and the door to the north leads to Ivana's room. Can I look for Count Von Brass's Vlad bunk card?

Nice. It doesn't appear to be in here.
Dang, Robin. Let's go to my room.

You guys want to see my room? I'm sure everything will be perfectly intact in there. Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah, it's like I said, it's the door to the south.

Why don't you tell them what it looked like before you lead everyone in there? How did it use the ship? What is that?

Fear of the mind here, guys.

Barbara gets to play Sims right now. We're coming into my room.
It's not that big. It's pretty humble size, but I have one little twin bed, and it has a black post on it.

It's like one of those canopy beds

with white sheets. And then I have my toys in the corner.
I have my play stuff, like my dollhouse. And Boris should be in there, I think.
Oh, I see you had the latest SlayStation 2.

I like to play Bloodborne on it.

That's good.

Yeah, yeah. That's a PlayStation game or not.
It is. Okay, cool.
It's actually a PlayStation exclusive. Or it used to be.
Is it PC now? I think they ported it. I don't know if it's PC.

I think it is. I think people complained about the quality of the PC port, if I remember right.
Anyway, let's talk about that a little more. That's not the indeed.

Starting your business isn't just about opening the doors. It's keeping the dream you built secure.
With New York Life, you get the financial guidance to make it real. Start today at nyl.com.

Yeah, as you're saying that, you know, you open up the room, or you open up the door to your room, and as it opens, you see, much like the unliving room, it is also in disarray as if it's been ransacked.

Goodness, is Boris still here? One item does stand out amongst the rest. You do see your teddy bear Boris.
Boris! She picks it up and cuddles it. Yeah, I shake Boris's little paw.

Hey there, Chip 80, Budget meets you.

Oh,

Oh, Boris is talking. Hello.

And then Elga, like, proceeds to like dance with him. Yeah, oh, cute.
I feel like you guys should have a talk with Quiffley. He's not doing a very good job of keeping your house in order.

Yeah, I'm very confused with what's going on here. I did not leave my room like this.
I'm not very, you know, I'm a little messy sometimes, but no, not like this.

Maybe we get Quiffly in here and get some man sales. Do I see any clues of like who might have done this? Make an investigation check.

Can I also look around just to see if there's anything of interest or any barney's gonna steal from elga not not i don't want to steal but

like starts putting like silverware in his little thing

it's silver for later i roll the investigation i don't know if it matters uh tell me what you're old 16. 16.

okay i'm gonna deal with uh elga first you don't find any clues like nothing nothing like footprints or nothing very obvious that would lead to

to make you think it was a particular person barney uh the only interesting things in here are would be if you were elga i I think.

Boris, yeah, Boris, dolls. Okay.
A black canopied bed. I pull the white chain out in the foyer.
You don't want to go to the other room? There was another room? Yeah. Yeah, well, there's Avina's room.

We could also go east. East of the statue.

Yeah. Okay, well, let me go see if my sister's room looks like this too, because if it doesn't, I have high suspicions she might have done this.

You walk across the unliving room to the northern side, and, you know, Avina's room, the door is closed. I assume you open it and walk in.
Yeah.

You open up the door, and it's a dark room with clothes, bedding, and belongings strewn about the room. A ripped book sits open next to the bed.
What is uh, can I go to look at the book?

There's a ripped book. Is it ripped pages or ripped, like cover? Cover.
Okay. So you said you looked at it, right, Elka? Yeah.
Elka? Yeah, you take a look, and the cover says Botour des Minté.

Seems to be a book written in an ancient form of Vanian with strange symbols, diagrams, like teeth, stars, moons, and more. Oh, really? And hearts, stars, and rainbows.
Do I understand it?

Like, could I read this language? You're familiar with Vanian, but this is, like, an older form.

It would be like modern times trying to read, like, old English, where you can pick up on some of it, but a lot of it's very different. And does it look like her room also got like ransacked?

Yeah, I mean, things are strewn all around. And, you know, as you're flipping through the book, you notice a page seems to be ripped out and is missing.

I noticed a dumb question. Which page? Like, is it like...
It's hard to say. It's like in the middle of the book.
And I can't tell by context of what was before and after it.

No, it's like you're able to pick out words here and there, but no real greater context. Butter demon? That's an interesting book.
What's that about? Butter demon.

I was like, what is he talking about? What are you talking about? The joke came and went, and then I was just like, I'll throw it in.

Hold on to that one for later. It's definitely later in the book, like in the mid-200s pages.
Okay. We had an encounter with missing pages in the library, too.

Do I also recognize this book as something Avina owned before?

You see, you feel like this is a book she would have. Okay.
Check the front, see if she stamped her name as a library. Ivina's into all sorts of weird stuff.
She's more of the reading type.

You're more of the beating.

Yeah. You know, I read my own books like Here Come the Choo Choo Trend and things like that.
I never got past the sixth grade level.

One bat, two bat, red bat, blue bat.

I do not like green eggs and blood.

Everyone make me a perception check. Eighteen.
I think that's that's the version of Gus being in the room as the teacher and putting their two fingers up to get our attention.

20, 6, 8. Not one, or critical fail, so five.
So the highest ones were Barney with 20 and Chip with 18. Is that correct?

I see all, know all. Barney and Chip, you know, as Elga is flipping through the book, for some reason, something draws your two set of eyes up to the ceiling.
Yeah.

And you notice scrawled on the ceiling in blood are strange glyphs and candle wax laid out in a triangle. Oh.
Oh, that's a Vina.

Always with her art products. Always with doing arts and crafts on the ceiling.
Are those like constellations or is that like a new band? Like you're you like a poster? There's candles.

Could I ask if I recognize this as being the room from that nightmare I had? Make a wisdom check with advantage.

16. Yes, it is the same room from your nightmare.
Okay. Because I was on the ceiling.
Yeah, the blood and the wax and stuff.

Did she like summon me in a dream to the ceiling? You know, summons her back. Maybe.
What's your relationship like with your sister, Elga? You know, it used to be okay, but

I guess just started acting weird

at some point. And

I don't know. Was this like in the most, like, like, like before your trip, like, very recently? Or has this been like a long-running thing?

Not too long, but, you know, my barometer of time time is kind of off a little bit. So is mine.
Yeah.

You and me, Barneau. So old.

This things, is it? Do we can I? I guess I don't have like some detect magic, but I'm kind of like, is there anything I can? Do any of us recognize the glyphs or anything?

Yeah, like do they look like what's in the book? We could do an arcane.

Exactly. Y'all can make an arcana check if you want to try to figure that out.

We're all good on intelligence. I yeah, it's like your forte, right? Seven, nine, eleven.
Yeah, it's uh, it's Greek to you. But does it look like like what I saw in the book? Like in the book you just

saw. Yeah, sure.
Okay. So it's probably page she ripped out, maybe, is what she used up on this.
Probably. And none of us can read the book, right? Have we all checked? Correct.
Okay.

Do you want to go to the other space? I know there's one more room. Why don't you hold on to Zetbook, Elka? Yeah, I'm going to take it with me.
Yeah. Okay.
Put it in my bum bag. Cool.

Okay, well, this is weird. Something is definitely amiss in the Von Broth household.
Yeah, your ass is a little creepy. You might

fire quickly.

I don't think you can be fired. Set him aflame.

That's a bit dark. Cool.
So shall we move on? Yeah, what's the other rooms? Yeah, Elga, you know, east of the foyer is the parlor and the room for Countess von Brath and the room for Count von Brath.

Oh, there's those kinds of people. Countess von Brath is your mother.
One would assume. And they sleep apart? Oh, I guess your mom's no longer around.
Real smooth there, Chip.

I just assumed you was a big snorer. Yeah, you know, everyone likes having their own space.

And, you know, like me and my sister, we're twins, and we have different rooms, which some people might think is weird. But it's a big place, you know, we want to take advantage of the square footage.

Yeah, it's rich folks' stuff. Let's go to the parlour.
Yeah, you cross east of the foyer and walk over to the parlor. What would be a posh parlor is now tarnished.

Nevertheless, it is furnished with a marble countertop bar, jasper stone stools, a fire opal chandelier, and a pipe organ ruby keys. Cool.
I kind of want to play a Diddy on that. Do it.

Can I play the performance check? Can I play the organ?

You can try.

You got experience? Does Chip have experience playing the pipe organ? Oh.

You know, sometimes I volunteer at the Little League baseball games.

Yeah, make that performance check. Let's try it out.
Okay.

Oh, that's a 20. Oh.

You tickled the ruby and let out some old ballpark tunes.

Hot dogs, get your hot dogs.

Oh, God, I missed my. We need to find my family.

So many families are missing right now. I know where mine is.
Where? They're dead. Oh!

You know, Matida, I'm starting to think mine might not be alive anymore.

Maybe, we don't know. It's so mysterious.

I'm scared let's go to your mother's room why not well we are in this parlor in the parlor yeah to the south from here so it's like a mirror image of the other side the parlor's like a mirror image of the unliving room

to the south like a mirror image of your room is countess von brath's room okay and then to the north is count von brath's nothing else in here that we could like look at no okay so do you want to head south to the countess's room yes you head south and open up the door and you find a room filled with bookcases and shelves of books tomes maps sky charts, and scrolls.

A wooden rickety rocking chair sits in the center atop a simple rug.

Many of the reading materials are in an unrecognizable language, but they all seem to circle around the subject of conjuration and divination magic, specifically planar arts.

Mom was a bit of a nerd, huh? Yeah, she studied a lot, and I think that's where Avina got her love of reading and science and all this stuff.

But plan, I wonder if she knows about the Fey Wild or anything like that or other planes. Australia, that's relevant to my interests.

Should we start taking a look at the bookshelves? Yeah. Your mom has

been gone for a while. You seem to be very interested in my mom, Barney.
I'm just trying to understand what's going on. Yeah, she's been gone a while.
I don't.

We don't really know what happened. My father hasn't really told me much.
I just kind of dealt with it. Can I look and see?

Kyla look and see if any of the if there's like dust that has been unsettled recently like that's a smart call like any you know like something's disturbed yeah like because if if assuming no one's been in this room for a while possible Avina though has been in sure but then that would might also indicate yeah something yeah why don't you make me a perception check Barney and I say loud my plan okay okay I will also look around for unsettled dust

I got a 23 Matit flaps her wings and disturbs everyone.

Yeah, the room appears to be undisturbed, Arnie.

However, in your investigation, or when you're looking around, you do notice that the rug appears to not be centered in the room, and one of the corners is folded over. Can I pull back the rug?

Yeah, you pull. You pull the rug out.

You pull back the rug, and you find there's a trapdoor hidden underneath the rug. I didn't know about this.

I don't think I've known about this. It seems news to you, Elga.
Well, my mother couldn't possibly be under there.

And if she is, I'm worried this will cause me lifelong trauma if I see something.

Anyways, shall we open it up? Let's open her up. Yeah, we go.
Yeah, let's open it. You open up the trapdoor, and the chamber it leads to is quite cramped.

It's only big enough to hold a small chest that's sitting inside of it. Could we look in the chest or see if it's open? Or check it for traps first.

What are you doing?

A lot of suggestions here. Can I check it for traps?

Yeah, make an

investigation check five it looks good to me no traps could i check it for traps mitchie takes one large step back with advantage right because i'm close up yes

she says as she rolls along gosh dang it seven still yeah no traps no traps can i check it

i take a second step back go for it go for it okay what am i doing investigation investigation all right sixteen yeah no traps no traps Okay, well, looks like I ever put this down here.

Didn't think it was that valuable. Maybe they just are,

you know, being silly, like keeping the front door of your house unlocked. Everyone's very trusting, right? Very trusting.
Uh, let's open it. Yeah.

You uh open up the chest and inside is a picture of a young girl with dark features and black hair. Is it a Vina? You take a look and uh it does not look to be a Vina to you.

You don't know who this is. Is it my mother? Wait, it's describe the person? It's a picture of a young girl with dark features and black hair.
Do I recognize the picture?

It's a a young girl, so it's hard to say. It doesn't look like anyone you know.
Just to clarify, just so I know, and maybe the audience wants to know this too.

Has Elga ever seen her mother, or like, when was it, like, when was the last time she saw her? I mean, I think she would have been probably like seven, like in actual years.

Um, so it's been a long time. Because Elga's like, what'd you say, like, 300 years old or something?

Oh, no. I think you said something like 180 to 300.
Somewhere between there. It was a huge number.
So it's been, I'm non-committal. It's been a couple of years.
Yeah.

Make me a wisdom check with Advantage, Elka. I'm so not wise.
But you have Advantage. Not gonna help me, nine.
You don't recognize it. Okay.

Do I recognize it?

Does Chip recognize a girl? Do I remember anything about what my mother did look like? Because I feel like if you're seven, you would. Yeah,

you have some memories, but you know, it's fuzzy. Did she have dark hair? Yes.

Does the person look like Elga to the rest of us outsiders' perspective? No. No, it doesn't look like her.

Is there anything? But it's hard to say, you know?

It's an old photo.

You said it's a young girl, right? Yeah. With dark hair.
The only thing that's in the chest? Yes. It's just the photo.
Yes. Is it Frankesca? No.

Is there anything on the back? You flip over the photo and take a look at the back and you don't see anything on there. Okay.
Is there anything else in this little

nook that we just know? It was so cramped. This chest was all that could really fit in there.

Do you think we should take this photo? Yeah, why not? What if it's that uh, what's that story about the guy that has the Dorian Gray? Yeah. Huh? Huh? I don't know who that

is. I don't think it's Orange.
Okay, okay. Maybe it is.
Basically, a person that couldn't age or like whatever because they had a painting of them and the painting aged in their stead or something.

I can't remember the story.

Yeah, but I mean, that means that the painting would look like poop, and this is an ice painting. It's a picture.
And it's its own picture, right? It's not a part of a picture. Correct.
Okay. Okay.

Well, I guess I should maybe take it. Why not? I mean, it is in my house, which means it's my property.
Right. The chest, is it just a regular ordinary chest? Is there anything organized?

It seems to be a very plain wooden chest.

Why would you block away a picture if you're unless you're trying to hide something? Okay, well, we take it. Yeah.
And close up the chest. Find my room.
And I guess let's, yeah.

Do you want to look around this library type room? We did. And there's nothing.
Yeah. Okay.
Oh, right. Nothing got because we did our little checks.
Okay. All right.

So you head to Count von Broth's room? Yes. You head across the parlor to the north over to Count von Broth's room.

Oh, before we do that, was Countess von Brath's room also like disturbed as if people were looking around? I know? No, and Barney even investigated, and it seemed undisturbed. Interesting.
Okay.

I kicked the chair over so it looks the rest of the rest.

Everything's a kick with Mateed. Yeah.
Wait, you can touch things with something gummy. I like the idea that their pants are just always in their pockets.
Remember when you did

realize Mate had arms?

Yeah.

He's playing a lot of Breath of the Wild.

Cool. So, across the parlor is Count Von Broth's room.
You open the door, and this room is in disarray and is decorated with trophy after trophy of beast and humanoid heads mounted on the wall. Cool.

There's a shelf with an assortment of goblets, chalices, steins, and other stemware. And most curiously, there is a bloodstone font, but it is empty of liquid.

Von Broth, he papa's a bit of a hunter, huh? Yeah. Sierra go like have trouble sleeping with like 80 heads staring at at him? I like his style.

Maybe. Are there any Aracochrans or tieflings up there? No.
Okay.

Does it look like this room's been like... I think you said, yeah, it looks like it's been turned over.

What else could we gather from here? Like, does anything look out of pl other than it being a mess? Does anything look like it's been taken or make a investigation check?

Sure.

Oh, my God. You got bad rolls? A ten, a nine.

Yeah, I rolled a one and a nine. I don't know what's at my dice.
Yeah, it seems

nothing stands out.

Are there any weapons or something?

I'm assuming there's like a hunter with his mouth.

This seems to me mainly to be more almost like a trophy room. There aren't any weapons that you can see.
Is there like a bed? Yeah, is there a bed? Coffin? I look up at the ceiling.

There's nothing on the ceiling. And no, there's no bed or coffin.
Closet? No. Does it also look like there might have been any sign of struggling?

You know, things are turned over like every other room. Like, it's kind of in disarray, but not necessarily any signs of a struggle.

Okay, if I had to guess, maybe the person was looking for that picture for some reason.

Why wouldn't they go into one room? Well, it was underneath the carpet, but they didn't even look in that room.

Yeah, it's true, unless they lived here and they knew that it wasn't in there or something. I don't know.
It wasn't me. What is up with this house?

Is this a haunted house? Yes, thank you.

Perhaps now is the time when we should go out quickly. That's a good idea.
That's a good idea. Could I go back out into the foyer and ring that

ivory? Ivory. Pretty sure it's the red one.

Yeah, you pull the ivory chain. Okay, do I hear Quiffley coming down the hall?

It's a distant running. It's like whenever Chris is running into a room.
Apologizing profusely. Everyone, roll me a perception check.
Those have been going so well.

Oh my god, six, five, four, eleven, fifteen. So, no, you don't hear necessarily any footsteps or like the sounds of anyone approaching.

However, Barney, you hear howling coming from somewhere down the hall in the vampspire. It's wolves.
Howling, like, down the hallway that we just came through?

Yes, but like not the direction you came from further down. Like werewolf howling or like howling like someone's in pain? It's hard to tell.
It kind of reverberates through the hallway.

I don't know what that is, but we should probably go check that out. Yeah.
There's not typically a lot of howling here. Is there a no-howling ordinance in the vampspire? In the classroom? The H-OA.

That's 10 o'clock p.m.

Right, yeah. Barney, since you made the highest perception check, why don't you make me a survival check? Okay.
Also, I mean 10 a.m. because

21.

Yeah, you were able to follow it. You know, something about it like strikes a chord with you, and you track the origin.

You know it's coming from behind a plain wooden door with a doorbell, and you know that the howling is coming from the other side of it.

When you say doorbell, do you mean like a ding-ding-ding-dong or like a button? There's a button. You want the ring or you want to just go inside? I wait, we're all uh, what are they called?

Not coughs. Colds? Sattlers? No, no, no.
We are. What are those things called? Cool.
What's cooler than being cold? Ice.

Ice. I open the door.
What?

What are we? You open the door and it appears to open to a vacant unfurnished apartment.

Nobody's in there.

I'm just saying, wait, wait, cold. Get out of here.
Well, this is where the howling was. A single room or like multiple rooms? Like a couple of small rooms.
And it's unfurnished. Yes.

When you say howling, did you mean like oh or like wind howling not wind

a creature yes can i look and see if there's any go ahead anything in this room that's not just vacation yeah any anything make me an investigation check i have to look around 15.

don't forget to look at the ceiling you got really good rolls here uh

lucky you look around and there doesn't seem to be anything in the apartment however you do notice that there are claw marks on the outside of the door that you came in through oh on the outside or inside?

Like in the hallway or like when you're in the apartment? On the side of the door facing the hallway. Oh, okay.
So the one that we,

when we approached it. Correct.
Which makes me think something is inside right now that clawed its in.

Hey, do your sound. Eeeeee, eee, eeeeeeeeeee eee eee.

Nothing.

Nothing. I figure it was worth a try.
I realized we were recording an audio podcast. I was looking around, like up in the air.

She goes, do your sound. I'm like, wait, what am I doing? So we heard, it was a howling coming from this room.
Wait, doesn't Barney have a bear? I forgot about the bear. What?

Oh, I forgot I have a bear. Yeah,

yeah. You forgot you had a bear, so you didn't bring it along.
I did. I did, guys.

You know, I would.

You gotta remember.

Make me three animal handling checks.

I got that soap stuff. Oh, the blue topaz or orange topaz.
I got that soap.

All right. Yeah,

you have a bear with you. Oh, my God, there's a bear.

Did you smell it? It's where your family family ran away. I should have shut up.

I'm sorry.

I just remembered. It has nothing to do with what's going on right now.
I just remembered. The bear puts its nose on the button for the doorbell and takes like a big sniff from it.

I push the doorbell. You hear like a deep bell ring.
Wow, it's a deep bell. Maybe, but nothing seems to happen.
I push it again.

You push it again and the door spins around, revealing a dark, cramped stone room with an angry young girl blindfolded and chained up. Oh, gosh.
Oh. Oh,

look what I did. Do I recognize that as Avina? No, it is not Avina.
Okay, is it the little person in the... It's a young human girl with olive complexion, brunette hair.

You can't see her eyes because she's blindfolded. Do I recognize her? She's covered in scars and clothing, blood-stained rags.
You do not recognize her,

but it's the one from the painting that we found. Or the picture that we found.
It does not look like that.

All right. I'm going to assist the little person.
Yeah, I'm going to help them.

Is there anyone or is there anything else around?

Or is it just the girl?

Just like a small cramped room. Yeah, chimpus help her.
So that I understand what happened. Was it that the second ringing of the bell, like, revealed a secret room? Correct.
Thank you.

Okay, I'm gonna help her. Yeah, she kind of hears you approaching.
She can't see because, you know, the blindfold.

She begins, like, growling and like trying to lash out as much as she can in your direction. Hey, oh, hey, oh, it's okay.

I'm here to help you. You seem like you're in a little bit of trouble there.
You okay? She She doesn't reply. She's still very restricted in her movement and blindfolded.

Okay, I'm gonna pull off the blindfold. You see now that she has hazel eyes and full eyebrows.
Who are you?

I'm hey there, I'm Chipane. Pleasure to meet you.
I feel like I set that up for a chip.

This is a secret sentence.

What's going on here? Are you have you been kidnapped? What's going on? No, I'm here of my own free will. Listen, I got it.

I love it here. This is so

I'm just kidding. Well, let me...

Help me, okay? Let me out of here right now. I think we should exercise caution right now.
Yeah, can I do like some sort of

insight? Yeah, like some sort of vibe check. Vibe check, yeah, insight check.
Do you think she might be the one who clawed? I think so. She's very feral, spicy kids.
Ah, yes, I see y'all. Well, one.

Yeah, she's uh didn't doesn't seem to be concealing anything. Should I do an inspiration? You do, you.
You all will free me right now and take me back to my mother. Who's your mother? Lorenzo Wolfman.

What, why, why, who took you and why? Maybe we'll find out. Now, next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
Oh, no.

Thanks for listening, everybody. This is a fun one.
I'm loving the vampspire. Me towards it.
Rits and turns. Ritz and turns and tents.
Yeah, I know.

Families coming together.

Breaking apart.

Thanks for listening, everyone. We'll be back next week with another episode.
Wee. Bye.

There are many ways little stinkers can support the show, commenting on social media, rating us on podcast services, or interacting with us on Discord, or telling friends about the show by word of mouth.

Stinkers like at starman underscore solar, at cat donut, at alexarts16, at fin cougar, and at big moose mic.

Listeners Listeners that interact with us on social media and Discord also had NPCs named after them in this episode.

The Quiffley Elgis Battler named by at Aerie the Ace, voiced by Ben Ernst at Halcyon underscore Ben. Countess Vixsoft, named by at Vixie Softpaws, voiced by Ash Schmidt at FafNYRD.

And additionally, Marnie Farney is voiced by Caroline Grossman at Caroline underscore Constnar. And Benicia Wolfman, voiced by Griff Milton, at the underscore indoor kid.

The Stinky Dragon channel is managed by Ben Ernst.

This episode of Tales of the Stinky Dragon is produced by Kai Cook, written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by David Sonye.

Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

That's a natural one. Oh my my God.
Yeah. Ben asks, what are these misty mountain dice? Ha ha!

We need your money now more than ever.

We're all laughing, but it's true.

I'm going to need you to cry in Barney's voice so we can practice that, as Barbara pointed out.

We'll see what happens when it happens.