C02 - Ep. 37 - Vengeance in Vainia - Make Heads or Taelzadok

and Alyssa are always trying to outdo each other.

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Once there, Mike still did more laps around the pool.

Whatever.

You were made to outdo your holidays.

We were made to help organize the competition.

Expedia, made to travel.

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Salutations, ancient sea serpents.

Dive on into the stinky dragon.

Partake in our latest potation.

Poetry in ocean.

Needs a mixture of constricting coffee.

A cone of cold vanilla mint ice cream.

Garnished with peppermint minster leaves.

One mouthful of this monstrous mug, and your next breath will have no rhyme or freezing.

Previously, our adventurers rectified a riotous rally and reconnected with old friends.

After some resourceful reconnaissance, they finally found their way into the vast vamp spire.

Bring over a brew and buckle up for this bedtime tale.

I was looking at Chris the entire time.

Chris would drink that drink.

It sounds like coffee and ice cream.

Yeah.

I think he had a little bit of drool come out.

I think he had that.

I think I saw him with it a little earlier.

Is that the Damaris?

What was it called?

The coffee drink you got one time?

Oh, my God.

Oh, right.

I forgot about that.

Yeah.

You had like a week's worth of your sugar intake.

Yeah, because you get it all out of the way at once.

Yeah.

Hello, everyone.

I'm Gustavo Sorola, the dungeon master of our Putri Party.

I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow.

This week's role-playing warm-up question is: if your character could go back in time and change one thing about the past, what would it be?

I was going first.

A chair concert, that's for sure.

Is that what you're saying?

Blaine, I think you've just offered to get started off.

I was going to go last for dramatic effect.

Hey there!

It's no, no, no, no, no, no, Matina.

I insist.

It's me, Chip Haney.

Please let me step into the conversation booth or the confessional booth.

Hey, it's Blaine Gibson.

I play, oh, God, Chip Hangy.

He's a level.

Really got to get to the front of the line.

Chip Haney, Chief Ling Rogue, level seven.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Delga.

Previous are now widowed.

Oh, right, right.

That's funny you should say that because if I could go back and shape something about the past, oh, I don't know.

Probably

stop my wife from dying.

You know, that'd be great.

You know,

it's been my mission.

Was that a big deal for you?

It affected me.

You know, you know, random conversation interviewer, it actually hurt my feelings quite a bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It hasn't been the same.

That makes sense.

That makes sense.

I'm John Reisinger.

I play Meti Confisus, who's an Eric Cochrane ghost monk.

That's a very good question because I've lived a very long life and I've experienced so many things and I don't normally live in

a state of regret at all.

If I could go back, I would have probably, I don't know, packed a few more croissants before we left on this adventure.

I just feel like I i did not put enough bread in my pouch before we left it was very unexpected for you

i didn't i didn't think that i was going to go to this festival and then be uh accused of murder you know you never know and so maybe that's always how to be prepared if you you always always pack bread you've never been to a good festival then keep a croissant in your pocket yeah for a festival yeah croissant in the pocket for a festival Everyone listening, take note.

I've actually put croissants in my pockets before.

Not a good idea.

They get too, they're too greasy and buttery.

They're supposed to be fluffy and like

you can flake them.

You can try and put them in a wrap them in like a paper towel.

No, it doesn't work.

Anyway, who are you?

Croissant lover.

He's croissant de Mero.

And I play Barney Varney.

And

a level seven

guy.

But if I could, well, this is an easy one.

Oh, okay.

I would have done something when my family was taken from me.

Was that a big deal for you two?

Just a bit.

Gus.

Gus.

Tell us how that makes you feel.

He's over there just snickering.

I

second answer.

Okay.

I recently acquired a spell that allows you to bring someone who has died in the last minute back to life.

I wish I had prepared it.

This feels like it the other day.

You shouldn't bring it up.

I wish I had known.

Did you have it when Carol died?

I didn't have it prepared.

Oh, prepared.

That's my second.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, you know, I think for plot reasons, that probably would have worked out.

But also, wasn't that the one that came with like a cost?

There was like a cost.

Or was that, or am I thinking of that necklace that we came across?

The necklace.

Oh, well, Barney, it really

dropped that ball there, pal.

I didn't.

I know.

I didn't know.

Elga, wait, I need to go have a talk with Barney.

Why don't you get in there?

Get in the bathroom.

Bartony, you've been in there for 34 minutes.

Can I go in now?

In the show, you just hear like footsteps walking away and just like muffled arguing in the back or just the sound of like

flesh hitting flesh.

Barney really needs some more fiber.

Get out of there a little more quickly.

Barney, you've been in the bathroom for an hour and 20 minutes.

I'm Barbara Dunkelman.

Hello, everyone.

And Blurbal Gerbel, my friends.

Barbara Gerble.

I play Elga von Brath,

the leader of the party, of course.

Thank you, John.

Thank you for confirming.

The half-elf vampire barbarian, level seven.

And, you know, Elga doesn't regret a whole lot in life, but I'd say one of her biggest regrets is that one time Elga was partaking in a light breakfast of blood, and she accidentally spilled a little bit onto her favorite white frilly shirt.

And unfortunately, it didn't come out.

Blood stains pretty bad.

I'm surprised that when we went around the shops in Vania, there wasn't just one shop devoted to stain removal potions and stuff.

I think you can use like Prestigitation to help get some of that stuff out.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

But unfortunately, now Elga has to wear a different off-white frilly shirt.

I think what you can do is if you spill blood on a white shirt like that, you can just cover it with red wine.

And you won't notice the blood at all anymore.

They don't dry the same way.

Oh, they don't.

I wouldn't have done it.

Give it a shot at home.

Please don't.

Actually, I I was wrong.

I needed a diamond in order to cast that spell, and I don't have a diamond, so I couldn't have done it even if I had it prepared.

Oh, I have so many diamonds.

I bring all my diamonds with me everywhere.

I have lots of diamonds.

You could have just really

had the diamonds?

Carol's ring on her finger, her wedding ring from

Carol.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The body disappeared, though.

Yeah, that's true.

To her ring, too?

I don't know.

Was this like a Star Wars situation?

Everything disappears except the ring.

You had said that you went through and gathered her belongings.

So if there was a ring that you all had, that you had given or that you all shared, that you would have had a chance to recover that.

Maybe give that to me.

Yes, please.

Give it to the old man.

No, no, I'm saying, like, I, it was like one of those things.

You have to prepare a spell, like, in advance.

Material components.

Yeah, yeah.

And then do it during a short rest.

So you have to, you don't know what spell you're going to use at any given time.

And you only get so many.

So you have to like, oh, I think, I didn't think during the Between the Tales, there would be a main character deck we can keep going

as you move through the open archway you pass by two red robed bat folk you recall as the sviratu they pay you no mind as they chant in unison and conjure clearly powerful magics beyond them ornate sconces of torchlight flicker across glossy black stone walls leading further into the belly of the tower Aromas of rotten carry-on, sour sweat, and the choking of smoke waft through the passage.

The reverberating din of shifting feet, fluttering of wings, and the ringing of small chimes grows in your ears.

Until finally you reach a crimson door with one word carved into the wooden grain: Tails Adoc.

Elga, a small voice suddenly whispers in your mind.

Welcome home, Sister.

So, uh, the door before you

say Tails Adoc.

What do y'all want to do?

Could I look at the door and see if I know what that means?

Make me a

I'll say, make me a wisdom check with advantage.

Since it is my home.

Ooh, 19.

You know that it means tale of the tower.

T-A-I-L or Twitter?

Yeah, T-A-I-L.

Oh.

So this is the back entrance.

This is a butt.

Maybe.

Probably.

Or if it's the bottom.

Yeah, the butt.

Question.

You know that,

Elga, you have never spent much time in the Tails of Doc.

Oh.

So this isn't home?

I mean, I probably spent more time up.

Correct.

The Vamp Spire, it's a...

It's tall tall and skinny, right?

Right.

It's a tower or a spire.

So there are...

Presumably, there would be multiple levels.

Where we are, this is the only door.

This is the only door that we can see.

We're like in a hallway or an entryway.

Yeah, the entryway.

You just cross the bridge, past the spiratu, past the gargoyles.

Stand in there.

I mean, is this like a situation, Elga, where like the higher you live on the tower, like the higher on the, like, you know, the hierarchy you are?

Like, is this like a physical manifestation of like, you know,

I don't know, society here in Svania?

I definitely know the answer to this question.

Well,

you don't, you've never spent much time here.

So that should be

correct.

That should be a very big hint as to the structure.

Well, let's go in.

I'm tired.

I want to take a rest.

Yeah, you want to open it up, Mate?

A knock on the door.

You die.

You give a quick rap on the door, and there's no response.

Go ahead.

What are the lyrics of your rap?

Oh, I get it.

Could we just open the door?

I'll open the door.

Do it!

Okay.

Just in case, I'll open the door.

I acquiesce.

It's life.

It's live.

It's live.

Elga, you push forward and open the door.

Everyone roll me a perception check.

Everyone roll initiative.

I was waiting for that.

Some sort of saving through.

22!

Five!

14.

14.

Jinx,

we'll start with Chip.

The door opens, and it's just the clamor and chaos of fervent foot traffic and chaotic crowds so overwhelming to you, it's hard to absorb what it is that you see before you.

Barney and elga it seems to be a dingy congested network of passages thronged with hurried folk of every shape and size going this way and that mate you have maybe a slightly better vantage here you're able to see that just up ahead you know there's some stairs going up and beyond that there's a t-insection and you notice red drops on the ground near the eastern wall and blue drops on the floor near the western wall Oh, like the colors of blood, when it's oxygenated or not.

You know more about blood than than I do.

Oh, I've dealt with a lot of blood.

I just don't, I just don't consume it, but I really do produce a lot of it in different ways.

Gotcha.

Interesting.

Is there a little bit of an overshare there?

Is there anybody

to like greet us or anything like that or any signage?

Currently, no.

Nobody seems to even really be giving you any mind.

Everyone's bustling about on their way.

Okay, would everyone roll make me a wisdom check?

Wisdom.

Ah, ah, ah.

There's a nine.

Seven.

Fifteen.

Five.

Just five, five, five.

Five, five, five, five, five.

So, Barney, with all the chaos going on around here, I think in general here in Vania, Barney's been on edge a little bit.

What?

You don't say that.

I did not notice that at all.

No way.

Seems cool as a cucumber.

I think, Barney, you have an inkling that with all the chaos you see before you, it might make sense to make note of the path you're taking.

You think that you might be in for a maze of corridors ahead of you.

Ah.

And Matid, again, you saw the witchblood blood on which side and which blood on the other side?

It was red blood on the east side,

blue droplets, droplets

on the left side.

Western, yeah.

Wait, I see.

I've noticed something that we do, as I've re-listened to it, is that we add words into what he says.

Yeah.

And a lot of times it sends us down the wrong direction.

We are very bad at parroting.

I think I saw that entire table of Micah, Gus, and David all just go like,

it's why I try to put a lot of intent in trying to use use your words that you say because I know I'm prone to that.

Yeah.

Write it down.

Yeah, so in that vein,

Barney,

me telling you all that information about the chaos is the way for the DM to teleparty, make a map, because I don't want to have to constantly re-explain where it is that you're going or where it is that you've been.

You guys saw how good my last map was.

We've entered the building from what direction?

Just give me a second.

You are facing south.

You've entered from the north is to your back, the south is in front of you.

Okay.

And does this seem like it's primarily going upwards or are there hallways like

there's a stairway with a T-spot at the end?

Correct.

You're like going down here.

You know, you're in a long corridor currently.

That's probably about 30, 35 feet long.

Is it good that I have this long, tall paper with me today?

Turn it sideways.

There you go.

Okay.

And you're at the north and the hallway heads south from you.

Yeah.

Could I try to stop any of these passerbys to ask for directions?

Sure.

You hear the sound of a bell and turn around and see someone shuffling around.

It seems like the bell sound is coming from them.

What do you say to them?

Where's the bell coming from?

I don't know.

It's somewhere on their body.

Maybe it's tied to them.

Is that all that?

You said there was like ringing.

Like, is it like...

They're the bell tower.

Well, no, he said, like, faint sounds of ringing constantly happening.

Is it ringing?

And you said there was ringing at the bottom of the well as well, but I think you said it was more like a tonal.

Correct.

That was a different.

Yeah.

That one, I think you said, was like screeching, right?

Oh, no.

I thought that one was like a eeee, like a tinnitus.

I think you said it.

Yeah,

like tinnitus.

Okay.

Yeah, I grabbed this person.

A bonjour, my name is Matit.

I'm here visiting this

wonderful...

I was trying to figure out how to describe this place.

Wonderful

fire.

And I'm trying to get to

the top.

Is there like a system here?

Like, I see you got some coloring systems.

You're wearing a bell.

Is there like a normalcy here that I can understand?

Oh, hello there.

The name's Vinvon, the world's greatest thief.

Pleased to to meet you.

What's your name again?

Don't shake their hand.

My name is you steal something from me, and do you know, who knows what happens?

Find out.

Oh, no.

Do you have anything worth stealing?

Nope.

I am on guard, so if you try anything, I'm doing a check.

Don't forget at this point, you all also have your cloaks on.

You're trying to blend in.

Yeah, I know.

I'm just, I'm a I'm I'm from uh another place where vampires are from.

And uh

oh, where is that?

I'm only familiar with the vampire here uh that is from oh uh what was it it's called um scanslvania yes scan sylvania sounds wonderful yes uh must be related to vania uh anyway uh yeah a count like yourself should be right at home on the upper levels yes um i'm so is is there uh a way to um i've seen you got these stairways ahead of us uh which way should we go you think to get up to the top the ringing becomes louder and more insistent.

What?

And Vin Vaugh says, yeah, of course, just head up the stairwell.

We'll go up.

Anyway, I gotta go.

Really in in a big hurry.

Someone's calling me.

Bye.

And Vin Vaughn runs off.

I'm thinking that what we are experiencing is that these are familiars and that they have some sort of communication system involved.

You know, a lot of aristocrats would use bells to make

the servants come up and that kind of thing.

Elga, I want you to make me a history check.

Okay, I was going to ask if I recognized anybody.

Yeah.

You might be doing that right now.

Oh, with advantage.

I'm sorry I didn't say with advantage.

Yay!

Thank goodness.

15.

Yeah, I mean, you know that these these are battlers.

Battlers.

That are running around.

And even though you've never been on this level of the Vamp Spire, you do know that you had a lot of interactions with a battler that specifically served your family.

Do I see them down here?

You do not currently.

The battler you remember, his name is Quiffleyari.

Did I have a nickname for him?

Quiffley.

Quiffly.

Quifly.

Quiffly down under.

Quiffly Ahri?

Yeah.

He was a very young male dwarf battler with like an uneven color ginger hair.

You remember Quiffley?

What was that thing y'all got up to that one time?

That thing that y'all had?

That was lots of fun?

Yeah, yeah, we were playing hide and seek and we were just on the ceiling giggling at him that he had no idea we were up there, which is really wild that he wouldn't just look up there because he knows that we're vampires.

Yeah, that's a classic Quiffley.

I like to think that he was maybe pandering a little bit.

That's what I was going to ask.

You think that he was playing along?

Yeah.

Can I cast Visage of the Astral Self?

It lasts for 10 minutes and it gives me advantage on insight intimidation checks.

I feel like that might be handy.

Sure.

It also gives me the sight in magical or non-magical darkness.

Correct.

I had a theory that I want to throw by you guys.

I have a theory as well.

I was imagining that

Vania is like

the human anatomy, like a body.

Maybe this is like the heart and like the...

Because you said like the red and the blue in like the blood flow, like maybe this is like there's like aortas and valves.

well the

the vanyards had like the uh barrels of what did you call them man like veins pumping yeah yeah i don't know maybe maybe there's something to that you know what blaine you get inspiration to i see you marking it you think maybe elga since you've never been on this uh on the tails of the dock before that Maybe if you could find Quiffley down here, that he can point you all in the right direction and help you out.

Since, you know, he will remember you.

Maybe if we all squeam,

scream for Quiffley.

You scream.

I scream.

What are you screaming at?

Well, I like your theory, Blainison.

And the direction of heading to the heart is blue.

So let's go east.

I was just thinking of maybe doing our secret catchphrase.

Whenever me and Quiffley would get lost from each other, we would just, one of us would do the sound and then the other one would echo the sound.

what's the sound sound like?

It's like something you scream?

I was expecting Marco.

And then Elga listens.

Okay, I don't hear anything.

No, no, no sound, no sound.

No sound, no sound.

Okay, well, you know what?

We should try that.

We should be trying that every once in a while.

I can ringtone.

So the,

just because of what you said there a little while, just a second ago, John, you know, y'all are in like this main entrance to the first level of the, of the Telesa dock.

And on the western wall from here is a framed painting of a vacant chair.

And on the eastern wall is a floor-to-ceiling gold frame cracked mirror.

And then this passage continues to the south to the ascending stairs to that T-intersection.

Hey, Elga, whenever you look in the mirror, are you visible?

Let's find out.

Which side was the empty chair picture?

On the west side.

On the west.

So then the floor-to-ceiling gold frame cracked mirror is on the eastern wall.

So you step in front of the mirror, Elga?

Yeah.

Yeah, you see yourself in it.

Hmm, okay.

There's me looking fine as can be.

I was gonna say we don't want to add ourselves by walking in front of any mirrors because if they can see us, then we, you know, we're not vampires and they might use a mirror and what was the other one?

You said a painting with a chair.

Empty chair.

Empty chair.

Correct.

If you're going to be a stickler about words like John said earlier, I said vacant chair.

Vacant chair.

So like someone should be sitting there, but they are not.

So like are is the mirror.

You should be sitting in there.

Is the mirror opposite the chair?

So like theoretically, if you stood in front of the mirror, you could be looking at the chair also behind you, you know, like the reflection of the chair.

So, the, I mean, they're kind of close to each other.

The difference is that the chair is just like a framed painting, whereas the mirror is wall to ceiling or floor to ceiling is what I say.

What if I look at the reflection of the chair painting in the mirror?

Make a perception check.

So, you're trying to look into the mirror and examine the chair painting, right?

Get ready for this five.

Yeah, uh, that is a oh, 15.

Plus 10.

Plus 10?

Because I've been rolling fives all morning.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

It is a 15.

You know, you're examining

the painting of the chair.

Yeah.

And it looks like a normal painting, nothing out of the ordinary.

However, as you're staring at the painting of the chair, you know, you're looking at the wall around it, you see that there are, in the reflection, you see that there are grooves along the floor of that western wall

below the chair, the painting of the chair.

Oh, as in, like, uh.

Yeah, I urge you.

Don't keep it in the middle of the middle.

Groovy.

No,

I don't have to acknowledge every single thing you say.

Groovy.

It would be a lot if I had to.

Endless.

That seems like that may be

scrapings of where a secret wall might be coming.

Hello!

La la!

You don't need to make fun of the way I speak.

No, I am not.

I'm code switching.

I feel like we're actually making grounds towards a friendship here, and I'd like to do that as a mutual endeavor.

Of course,

I'm just trying to make you feel at home by saying your phrases and words.

We're both at one HP, and we both could just

end each other at any second right now.

What did you see?

Actually, the

chip, what did you see?

There's grooves on it.

So that's the secret entrance.

Secret entrance.

If we move that, there's like grooves so that you can move the painting.

Could we do a little

group investigation of that area to see if we find a switch or maybe like the painting needs to be shifted or opened?

Joker!

Could I look at the painting?

What?

Yeah, you look at it

up close or do you look at it through the reflexor?

I want to look it up close.

Make an investigation check.

I'm going to do it too.

With advantage?

Yes, you can.

Should I partake?

Oh, yeah.

That is a 12.

Seven.

Ten.

While they do that, can I look through the mirror at them looking at it?

Yeah, you're watching them through the mirror.

Okay, okay, sure.

We'll deal with you in a second, Barney.

We'll deal with you in a second.

Just you wait.

So yeah, Elga, you're able to, you know, you follow the grooves with your fingers and you're able to find like a catch, like a hidden catch that potentially could open up like a spring door.

Okay, but I don't see anyone on the chair, do I?

No.

Okay.

Barney, make me

an investigation check as well.

I assume investigation.

Like you're watching them, sip, right?

Yeah, not perception.

Yeah, we'll do investigation.

I love a good haunted house.

16.

Yeah, nothing seems out of the ordinary.

As, you know, you also spot those grooves and the mechanism that Elga finds.

Groovy.

At the same time.

Matit, groovy.

Matit passes through the wall.

Oh, okay.

You can do that, right?

No, I'm not doing that.

I'm not going to burn right now.

You found a switch.

A latch.

I found, yeah, essentially like a way to open it up, right?

Do it.

Yeah.

Okay.

Hey, everyone, come over here.

I think we should probably open this up.

Should we like stand against it if it like does like a rotate thing?

No.

Okay.

Fair enough.

Okay, we'll just try to crack it open.

Yeah.

You activate it and open it up and the wall, you know, slides to the side, revealing a cramped hidey hole.

Oh, what's inside it?

It's filled with rancid meat, some vials of water, painter supplies,

a red towel, a key, and a cot.

Oh, I should probably take that key.

This is like someone's quarters.

Yeah.

This is like someone's quarters.

I say.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I say.

So we ran meat.

Red key.

A cot.

Red towel.

Red towel.

Vials of water.

Towels of water.

What was the last thing?

I don't know, John.

You were doing so well.

I know.

You got all that.

I was doing so well.

I was like, I was like, I was giving it.

It was like

paper.

Oh, yeah, painting stuff.

There you go.

Painter supplies.

So maybe they did the

chair.

Maybe the person who

lived in here painted this painting.

Is this where Quiffley stayed?

I hope not.

That would be kind of unfortunate.

Can we go?

Oh.

Could uh

we look up.

Gus is done with us officially.

He's so done with us.

You look at the cot and there's someone snoring, sleeping on it beneath a blanket.

Oh!

Who is it?

Barney, go wake him up in your special way.

Does Elga recognize this person?

Good morning.

I'll never not find that funny.

Terrifying.

Does Elgo recognize the person sleeping?

No, this is some bald human you've never seen before.

He appears to have an unkempt, multicolored beard and paint stains on his tunic.

John's raising his hand.

Can I get Gigi to lick him?

Oh, sure.

Brilliant.

Well played with deep.

That's all that's going to be.

You deploy the Gigi.

The Gigi.

Gigi.

Where do you want GZ to lick him, or how do you want to approach this?

I don't want to like...

Yeah, just like get Gigi in my hands and just kind of point him at the bald head.

Okay.

Yeah, Gigi, you know, lets out a little lick on the bald head.

The human, you know, kind of shuffles around, and you see a vision of his dream appear, start appearing before him, or above him, I should say.

Vasis das.

You see...

Visions.

It's almost like first-person point of view, like you're seeing through someone's eyes going down a maze.

Seems like they're searching for someone and they're they have painting supplies in their hands.

This is a rerun.

Change the channel.

Okay, so they got painting supplies in their hands.

They're trying to look for somebody in a maze.

And it seems like maybe they're lost.

This seems like he's not making progress.

Oh, okay.

Been there.

Bonjour.

Good morning.

Good morning.

Who are you?

Oh,

my name is Matith.

Count Matid.

Thank you very much.

Sometimes I forget those little eccentricities that we should use.

Right.

Can you close the door?

Okay.

Sure.

Elgo closes the door.

Oh, thank you.

What are you so afraid of?

I'm afraid of getting caught, and you all seem to have caught me.

Oh,

I mean the hunt.

Yes, we did.

Oh, okay.

You're very naughty.

Caught me in my cot.

Snapping off when on duty.

What's your name?

I'm Graf, my liege.

Graf?

Graf, what you doing is there's a hole?

I'm painting.

See?

He points to the painting supplies and the paint stains on his tunic.

Are you not supposed to be in here?

Or in this...

Or in the vampire?

You see, I want nothing more in life than to paint a portrait of Count Dracula, but I can't find him.

I keep getting lost.

Are you all vampires?

Could I maybe paint you?

We

all of us are vampires.

That's right.

Yes.

We're from

Campsylvania.

Scampsylvania?

That's the one.

Sounds wonderful.

It's beautiful during the fall.

Yeah, and they're visiting me.

I'm Elga.

I live here in the Vampspire.

Oh, wonderful.

Do you know how I can find Count Dracula?

Uh,

yes,

I do.

But it's hard to describe.

So we are actually on our way to go find him as well.

So.

If you can help us, then we can help you.

I keep getting lost.

That's why I was hoping you could help me.

Yeah.

Well, you know, this place is pretty complicated.

I get turned around all the time.

Have you ever tried using your painting supplies to like mark places you've gone so that you can kind of retrace your steps?

Well, I'm afraid of leaving evidence of my presence here.

Oh.

Why do you not want his presence to be known?

I'm not supposed to be here.

You're not supposed to be here.

But you're trying to find Dracula himself, even though you're not supposed to be here.

Don't you think you're getting turned?

I will gift him with such a wonderful painting that he'll forgive me because I paid tribute to the almighty Count Dracula.

Can I look at his paint?

Yeah, sure.

What color paints he has?

He's got like a full palette of all different kinds of paints.

Uh, Graf, that's your name, right?

Graf.

Graf, did you perhaps leave maybe a little trail of maybe some red paint or some blue paint previously on the floor?

I hope not.

I've been trying very carefully to not leave any evidence of my presence.

When, um, Gustavo, when you described the droplets, what's the like the pattern of it?

Is it consistency?

Is it, is it, does it look intentional or accidental?

Yeah, because that's very different.

Yeah, they would seem accidental.

Okay, how far apart were the droplets?

Were they like close to each other?

Yeah, pretty close.

Pretty close in proximity.

Okay, okay.

So they're either walking slowly or bleeding.

So, Graf, did you paint the empty chair, and that's supposed to be where the painting of Dracula sits?

Yes.

Do you like my work?

Oh, it's magnificent.

The gold,

it's the detail, the detail, the brush strokes.

Good.

Good work.

The imposto?

Say that.

Anyway,

have you made any progress on finding Dracula?

Like, is there any directions that were completely at dead ends?

I just keep getting lost.

It seems like no matter where I go, I keep ending up back here.

All I really know is that the commissary is to the southeast.

It seems like I end up there all the time.

Is that why you keep ending up with all this rotten meat?

Yeah.

Ransom.

I probably need to go get some.

Yeah.

I feel like I might have put my foot in my mouth with another dumb fact.

Like, I know that in the diagrams it's red and blue blood, but it doesn't actually look blue, does it?

Yeah, it doesn't.

Now I'm remembering, like, I learned later.

It's like, that's just the diagram way to do it.

I'm saying that so the comments don't make you feel stupid.

Even though they probably already commented on it.

It's okay.

Hey, comments, I am stupid.

Go back and delete your comments.

No, I'm stupid.

It's okay.

Why don't you all pose for me and I can make a painting of you?

I can just do a quick sketch for now and I'll remember you and make a more worthy painting.

Can you do it fast?

Well, I'll just do the quick sketch for now, and then I'll paint it later.

Okay, team, ready to pose.

Yeah, I pose.

Is there any special pose any of y'all want to do?

Elga wants to jump into the air and like spread her arms aside.

It's a sketch.

I don't know.

But she wants that to be how she sketched, so she keeps jumping and posing.

Okay, okay,

so that he could.

Yeah.

Barney wants to hide his face, like, I guess.

Like with his clothes?

Cow, scowl.

What do you call those things?

Yeah, cowl over his face.

Like a classic vampire pose where you're like lifting the cape and your elbows pointing out in front of your face.

Yeah, he also just doesn't want to be like...

Yeah, he wants to stay hidden.

Everyone make a perception check.

17.

7.

14.

6.

Mate, you hear footsteps walking down the corridor outside in the hall.

That's Ferratu.

Oh.

Okay, they're gone.

That's why we wanted you to close the door.

Oh, yeah, yeah, it's good we did that.

I'm gonna pull Mate to the side.

Should we share the password?

That way, this guy, he's like a nice guy.

He's in already.

I know, but like, in case he gets caught, then he can say the password, and then he makes it think that, you know, he's meant to be here.

I mean, you do, you.

What happens if the frost catch you?

They'll toss me out and destroy my work.

Yeah, they do not seem like they like people who are not supposed to be in you.

Can I get a roll for a vibe check?

Like, is he.

I like that's what we call insight check.

Is he here to say what he does, or do I sense any deception?

Yeah, go ahead and make that insight check.

Can I as well?

Yeah, of course.

And I got advantage.

That's a whopping four, 25, 20.

All of you think that Graf is being sincere.

I like this little guy.

He's very cute.

He's a little painter.

I love artists.

Let's pose.

Graf, you know, you seem like a decent dude, so I'm going to let you in on a little secret.

If you need to get in or talk to a Sferatu and they ask you for the password, it's just, it's Stoker.

You say Stoker.

That is so helpful.

And you know what?

That is way easier than the way I got in.

How did you get in?

Across the hallway behind the mirror, there's another secret room, and that leads to a pool of blood.

If you swim through it, you can go down and you'll emerge in the moat.

Oh,

that sounds dirty.

So that explains the red towel.

Yeah,

it was

very unpleasant.

Yeah, it sounds so unpleasant.

Where did you say that was across the hallway?

I'm just kidding.

Behind the mirror.

Mate poses.

Okay.

He very quickly does a sketch.

He turns his back.

Mate has their arm outstretched or their wing.

Their wing outstretched up in the arms.

Yeah.

What about Chip?

Normally he'd have like big, beaming, small hands on hips, but you know, because of recent events, he's going to do like a more moody, like kind of like that, like Spider-Man crouch.

He's going to wield his blade.

I think that's in character.

I also would think that Chip would do the other MCU pose is when they make all the females do, which is facing away and showing their rear, but

their head face turned around.

So

you're emphasizing buttocks.

Like the original Avengers poster.

It's Scott Johansen's pose in every paint, every

I would just think that Chip would lean into like, oh, well, I'm supposed to be a vampire, so I'm going to do like a vampire pose.

He's doing his little assassin thing.

I like it.

Yeah, yeah.

Some combination of vampire, assassin,

assassin.

Yeah.

Cool.

I'm a daywalker.

That's very cool.

Chip pulls out these sunglasses we didn't know he had the entire time.

Yeah, Graf turns his back to you and begins feverishly working on his sketch.

Okay, so I think we should probably leave you to it.

We'll let you know if we find Draculo, okay?

Okay, great.

Yes, please, please.

Real quick, Graf, what's that key to?

The key?

Oh, I don't know.

I lifted it off of a Speratu.

Oh.

You want it?

Yeah.

Yeah, we'll take it.

Let's borrow it.

Alright.

What's the key made out of, by the way?

It's just a very mundane-looking iron key.

Silver.

He's not allowed.

Alright, so we need to head up to the stairs and pick a direction.

Which way should we go?

So are you all heading up the stairs down to the T-intersection?

Do we want to check behind the mirror?

No, we know that's where the blood moat is.

I think it's an extra.

Is there any other places behind that mirror besides just out to the moat?

No, just the blood pool that goes down into the moat.

You've been very helpful, Graf.

I appreciate it so much.

Thank you.

I appreciate patrons of the art.

Yeah, I'd hate if you, you you know turned around stabbed us in the back oh he turned his back to you first yeah

all right thanks craft thank you be back let me know if you find dracula

so we leave and then where did you say the staircase was immediately to the south there's some stairs that begin going up and then the corridor continues for probably 30 feet to the south commissary to the east southeast yeah and so let's go west for the echo bit so you go down to the t intersection which branches out to the west and to the east.

To the west, there are some stairs that go up a little bit, and then it's just an open passage to the east.

So y'all are going west?

Yeah.

This is the red.

There's blue.

No.

I'd imagine that the red came from the mirror and the blue came from the commissary or some version.

Well, the red is probably the blood drops from the moat.

Correct.

And then the blue is, yeah, probably paint.

So just FY, the red and the blue was up closer to where you all entered on the northern side, like under the painting and under the mirror.

Oh, they weren't at the T.

correct okay yeah okay then it's blue is probably the paint so we're just we're looking at a at a west or east direction east had a stairway that went up and west west has a stairway that goes up east is just an open pass so let's go west Seems like graph only just went to the coast area over and over and didn't really find anything else.

Yeah, let's go let's go west on that staircase.

Yeah, so you all begin heading west.

The stairs go up maybe 10 feet and then the top of the stairs rounds a corner southward and looks into a room where you hear the clanging of metal and the buzzing of wood.

Were you at a door?

Yeah, so after the passage turns south, the passage continues for another 30 feet and there is no door.

It just goes straight into an open room.

What's in it?

Y'all walk up to it and it's a large chamber filled with the clanging and banging of construction, repairs being performed on furniture, jewelry, clothing.

There's two rows of four workbenches, each tailored seemingly to different trades and crafts.

In the northeast corner, you spy one of the tables is paint-stained and turned on its side.

Along the western wall is an upright unfinished coffin and to the south is a door and then to the east is an open passage.

Where's the coffin?

It's along the western wall.

And the painting was on the north.

And you said that they're repairing or is this just like the manufacturing wing?

They're just

new.

I just don't know if these are battlers.

Yeah, it seems like it's battlers toiling away on stuff.

And it seems like they are repairing things as opposed to creating things, to answer your question, Chip.

Can I walk up to a battler, the one that's working on the desk?

Yeah.

Is there a specific craft you want to investigate?

I guess the carpenter who's

doing the table.

Yeah.

Hey, Jesus.

He looks around.

Me?

No, I'm...

Bad joke.

Just a friend of his.

Yeah.

Yeah, I see you're working on this

table.

What happened to it?

Why are you repairing it?

What happened?

It's a gnome who's working on it, and he looks up at you, and he says...

Someone fell on the table and cracked a leg, so I'm just trying to repair it.

Oh, oh, okay.

Do you know who that someone was?

Or like, is this your trade as a carpenter?

Not really typically.

I'm typically out there on the field, you know, breaking monster legs.

I don't often repair them unless I'm summoned to.

But yeah, no, I just got summoned to the fix this table.

I've been known to do some carpentry on the side.

You've probably heard of me, Beowarg.

Kind of a big deal.

As I said, slaying many creatures, kind of a hero around these parts.

Does Helga recognize anyone in here?

Make um

perception check.

Oh, yeah.

Say Beowerg?

Balwerg.

I only rolled a nine.

No, you know that these are all.

It seems like they're all battlers, but none of them stand out to you.

Maybe trip, maybe try.

A few of them stop and look at you.

They turn and look at you, and then they look at each other, and then get back to work.

Mind your own business.

Barb fully bares all her teeth when she's making that sound.

It's a very teethy sound.

It's great.

Balwerg, I'm a little turned around here.

so is this this just like the repair you know manufacturing wing of uh the vampire vampspire maintenance yeah what is this this is a workshop this is where we fix things in the vampspire

who's who's who's who broke the table whose table is it i don't know i just get summoned to fix things every once in a while i just you know when i'm available it's when i'm not off on a mission doing important things saving the kingdom all that you know who summoned you it's the counts

so do they do you go up and get the stuff from them, or do they bring it down to you to fix?

Of course, we go up and get it.

Yeah, okay.

So, you know how to get up there?

To Dracula's place and all those places up there?

Yeah, good luck.

The stairway.

The stairway?

Right where?

To the east.

Yeah, he just points vaguely to the east.

Okay, thank you.

That's helpful.

Can I look at the painting?

Did I say there was a painting?

Wasn't it like turned on its side?

There's a paint-stained table on its side.

Got it.

Thank you.

Can I see if, and this is a bit of a stretch, is the paint from,

what's his face?

Graph?

Graph.

Graph.

This is graft paint.

Give yourself an inspiration die if you don't have one.

All the paint supplies are missing.

The table's just stained with paint, and it's turned over on its side.

Graph's a little borrower.

Interesting.

Kraft might not be.

No, you know, he seems like he's trying to make his way in this vampire world.

He wants to paint Dracula to prove his worth.

Could Barney look at the coffin and see how big it is and also if it has a name or anything or like embarrassment?

Do you want to see if it fits here?

No.

It's getting about that time.

We got to make the preparations.

That's the authority has a coffin and he's already in it.

Do you remember?

No.

Yeah,

I will get to that with you in just a second, Barney.

Let me do one thing I forgot to do here real fast.

Beowar pulls you in a little close chip.

He goes, hey, we're real busy here.

Do you think you could lend a hand?

Oh, yeah, absolutely.

What can I do for you?

We have a lot we need to get done.

We'd use some help cleaning up some clothing, delivering some letters to the aviary, or you could do something about this darn rat infestation.

They're overrunning us.

It's ridiculous.

That'd be great.

I'll deliver letters.

That sounds fun.

I've always wanted to be a man.

He shoves three letters into your hands.

Take these over to the aviary.

Make sure they're delivered.

You got it.

Where's the aviary?

Again, he points vaguely in the eastern easterly direction.

Who are the letters addressed to and from?

They have no writing on them.

They're just in sealed envelopes with like a wax seal, and there's nothing, no writing on them.

In the sigil, there's no like thing on the wax seal.

They all have the vania sigil.

Should we not ask about the rat infestation?

I feel like that's important.

What it resolve you?

Do you?

Oh, I have, yeah.

Oh, yeah, the coffin.

Yeah, I'm going to hit the coffin here real fast.

So you were trying to see like if it had a name on it or something.

Do you want to make like a perception or investigation check?

Yeah.

A perception it is.

14.

You give me the option, I'm going to go for the one with a higher modifier.

You notice that

there's no name on it.

It doesn't seem to be personalized.

It's, you know, it's roughly...

It's a little bigger than you, Barney.

But you notice that there are many nails sticking out of it.

It's really weird that it has that many nails.

Maybe it's poor quality.

Maybe it's broken.

Who knows?

Maybe it's a kink.

Maybe it's an Iron Maiden.

Nails sticking out of it.

Maybe it's Nadaline.

Like

inward or like out of it.

Like not fully driven in and some that have been driven in all the way and are coming out the other side.

Who's this?

Matt?

Is there anyone around who's working on it?

Isn't Barney a carpenter or wasn't he?

He has some carpenter.

Yeah.

Remember the heart pin?

Yeah.

You could ask Beowarget.

Bayoworg.

Because Beowarg was doing carpentry.

Yeah.

What's the deal with this coffin?

Why is it so poorly made?

Oh, that's for no one in particular.

That's just an old relic.

Old relic from who?

It's been there for as long as I can remember.

And it recently broke?

It's just been there.

I don't don't know.

You guys haven't fixed it.

You aren't doing a good job.

No one works on it.

There's no work order for it.

Does it look like it's been used, for lack of a better word?

Dusty?

Like, does it look like someone laid in it for a while?

Like a dead body or a body or any...

Does it have like...

It's very dusty.

Can I go in it?

Just for the heck of it.

Yeah.

Were you like sit in it or like stand in it?

Yeah, I just go like it.

Is it propped up or is it laying down?

Careful.

The nails are.

You're very injured right now.

Oh.

Don't do it.

I very carefully step inside of it.

I'm trying to see Gustav specific.

And I cross my arms.

Make a dexterity check with advantage because you specified you're being very careful.

Very excited.

That's a

20.

All right, yeah.

You very carefully get into it because the nails are rusty and sticking out everywhere.

You managed to avoid the one point of damage I was going to give you.

Matik goes up and he goes, boom!

And it seems like

it's a pretty solid fit for you.

Hmm.

Okay.

Making a an investigation check.

Oh.

I'm trying to see if this is like some sort of weird portal or something.

I spy.

18.

The weird thing is it won't move.

Like when you get in and out of it, it's like it's

it's affixed, right?

It's like affixed to the wall, maybe?

It's just it's just not rotating at all.

Can I like see if there's like a doorway hidden behind it?

A button?

Or should we close it?

Grooves, perhaps?

Oh, yeah, close it.

Close it.

Yeah, as you all are looking at it, three Sferatu walk in to the workshop from the northern entrance, for the entrance you all came in from.

Mm-hmm.

And they look around the room.

Everyone make a either like, I guess like a stealth check or a deception check.

I'll leave it up to you all.

I will do stealth.

It's now one, but I have advantage.

I will do deception.

Nat 20, 27.

Don't see me.

Don't perceive me.

I'm not even here.

15.

19.

16, but I might have something.

I have something if I fail it.

I have a thing.

That was with your advantage.

Yes.

They like survey the room, look around, they look at you for a second, Elka, and then they turn and exit the room to the eastern corridor.

How did you like grow up in this place with those dudes creeping out?

I didn't really see them very much.

I haven't really been in this area of the Valm Spire.

They spookies.

Anyway, so now that they've left the room, what we all doing with this

coffin.

Close me in.

Ah, ha, ha, ha.

Look at me.

I am in the coffin.

Time to go nannies.

Nanny's.

It's like we're a bunch of tourists taking pictures of you.

You all close it and nothing seems to happen.

It gets dark for your chip.

We open the door and go, all right, chip smile.

Go, blam.

So nothing happens.

Yeah, when they open it, or yeah, okay.

Can we open it?

Yeah.

You open it up and there's chip.

And I hiss at him.

Does chip feel any different or look any different?

Make a

perception check, Elga.

21.

Ah, good old chip.

Could

Barney

tap

the walls around it to see if it echoes like as if there's a chamber behind it or below?

Yeah, like yeah, make a let's call that an investigation check.

There's gotta be something in this coffin.

There's gotta be.

Nat 20.

Wow.

It's all solid stone, so it's hard to tell.

It's a solid stone wall, so it's not like knocking on dry wall or wood where you can tell if it's hollow.

It's it's all stone.

Can we do another little like like

Elga was able to find that little latch.

Could we do another little investigate?

Yeah, groovy.

Like put like look for walking your fingers around it.

Scrapes.

Yeah, whoever wants to do that can make an investigation check.

I'll pitch in.

Maybe this thing is just so old, it's like solidified itself to the wall just from time.

14.

Nine.

Yeah, it doesn't seem like the coffin moves.

It just seems it does seem like it's a fixed.

There's no scrapes on the floor from it like moving out of the way like the door before or like the other secret door that you found.

Is this a red herring?

Are they messing with it?

Okay.

All right.

Chip puts his hands up straight and like kind of does like a hover walk over to Barney.

Roll me a dexterity check, Chip.

Is this free Steve?

He scrapes on his way out.

Dexterity check.

Are you leaving gently and carefully?

He didn't say that.

No,

he said he was messing around.

What'd you roll?

What you roll?

Yeah, go down.

Hey, he's already where he needs to be.

Yeah, yeah.

You're goofing around, trying to get out of the coffin, and you step on a nail, and it goes up through your shoe,

doing one point of damage to Chip.

Oh, no.

Wait, are you down?

Yeah.

Chip is at zero hit points.

So good.

I go down.

Can I...

So good.

Try and stabilize him.

Yeah, you're able to stabilize it there.

So he stays at what?

Zero and can't move?

Correct, unless you get some kind of healing.

Do you have healing?

I don't have.

Elga, I genuinely don't have anything else.

Since you're stabilizing him, Barney, make a medicine check.

Because if you roll a nat 20, then yeah, he comes up to one.

Yeah.

I rolled a 20, but not a nat 20.

It's a 15.

Nah, so he's at zero.

Here's what I'll do.

We could just leave him here.

Just close the door.

They never mess with this coffin.

Do it.

Just do it.

You're like in limbo, like in the afterlife.

Chip, all you hear is the ringing of hammers from the workshop.

Carol, I'm coming, baby.

I'm going to cast eight.

What does that do?

It's a permanent increase of HP for eight hours on three creatures.

Oh, how much we get.

Chip gets five.

Barney gets five.

I don't care.

It's so fun.

Do you live in on the

I would like some?

Why not?

I mean, I was gonna give it to Matig.

Oh, yeah, you should give it to Matig.

And Matig gets five.

In case they touch a screw or something like that.

Guys, really quick, I need to go to the bunk.

No!

Oh, there's an ETM here.

Beowark sees you all doing all this and kind of like shouts over.

You guys need a hammer?

No.

Wait.

Mind your business.

Oh, the nails.

Yeah, we do actually.

Yes, give me damma.

Just don't throw it.

Do it, I dare you.

He hands you a hammer.

Here you go.

Don't drop it.

Be careful.

This thing, I killed like six monsters with this just last week.

How many nails?

Lots?

He doesn't hand you a nail.

No, there's not any nails in the coffin.

Oh, there's lots of them.

I hammer the ones that are sticking out.

Yeah, you hammer one of the nails, and the first one you hammer in, immediately the back of the coffin opens up.

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Yes.

What's inside?

It's hard to see.

It's very dim.

It's candlelit.

Bailwork says, give me my hammer back.

I hand it back.

I hand it back.

I don't.

Did you guys really never find this after having this coffin with nails that are loose all this time?

No one's ever tried to fix the nails.

He just smiles at you and shrugs.

Oh, he's messing with us.

I got really good eyesight right now, so I go into the thing.

But, dude, I'm just telling you now.

If you find a cool knife, I call dibs.

So, you look in, and it's a quaint candle-lit library with a rather empty bookcase on the western wall and two chewed-up couches, one to the north and another to the south.

There's currently two battlers sitting on the couches, reading.

What they knew about this is their little break room.

They kind of look up at you and then look back down at their books.

Is this your break room?

One of them looks up and just kind of like nods and gets back to reading.

What's that break room?

What you reading?

He holds like the cover of the book up to your face.

It says, Ales from the stinky dragon.

That's funny.

All right, now tell me.

Every book on the shelf.

Great.

It's a miasmatic manual of mixology for beginner bartenders.

I'm hoping to be a bartender one day.

Oh, what's your name?

It's a cookbook.

Cardinal.

Cardinal.

We can go to the chapter that we're in and look and see what we're supposed to go to.

Yeah.

I don't get it.

It's a Kenku.

So he's looking at he looks at Matig and he gets looks back in his book.

Kenku.

Oh, Kenku, dude.

You guys are like distant relatives.

Kenku's bird people.

I go to the empty bookshelf.

It's rather empty.

There are some books on it, but it's, you know,

it's not a well-stocked library.

That's the only bookshelf?

Yeah.

That's not a good library, dude.

Can bar the letter.

Ladder?

The letter.

Letter.

Got three.

Sure.

Could I take them and kind of off the side to open them?

That's illegal.

He's breaking the seal.

Yeah.

I'm ripping the, the, the, not the seal, but ripping the paper.

Chip acts like he doesn't see this.

Okay, yeah.

You open one up.

Yeah.

And then as you open it, the entire letter and envelope poops and disappears into red mist.

Well, I can't mend it.

Marnley, Marnie, Barnard.

Can I try and mend it?

What are you going to mend?

The atoms.

You know.

I'll take the other letters back.

Thank you, Barnard.

I'm just going to put all those little electrons and protons back.

Wow.

Most letters are able to be mended.

Cardinal looks up and says, shh.

Oh.

Shh.

I stay back.

Oh, no, that's the Kinku's job.

Yeah, I know it seems like you're there.

Yeah, I could do this too.

Ah, asserting dominance.

Are there any grooves on the wall?

Or can I move some of the books around to see if there's another secret latch?

Just chip going up to the bookshelf and just shaking it.

Yeah.

Yeah, make an investigation check.

Okay.

I will go with my investigative partner.

That's a 13.

17.

No, it doesn't seem anything suspicious about it.

Nothing out of the ordinary.

No manga?

No, there's like a couple of books on there, but

nothing with drawings.

Two couches, one dude.

Oh, wait, there is one with drawings.

What?

Yeah.

Is it Demon Slayer?

You see.

Is it a Hex-Men?

Nice.

Give me some inspiration if you don't have one, John.

There's a book that's filled with drawings.

It's Fantastic Beasts and How to Cook Them.

Oh, good lord.

It's a graphic cookbook dealing with monstrous recipes.

Well,

where are we...

We went out of the workshop.

Into a secret coffin room.

Well, they did.

When we asked where the counts were bringing or the goat to the counts, they pointed to the east.

So maybe we should just continue that way instead.

I'm with Elga.

I step through the coffin door carefully.

Is there anything else in this room besides the bookcase and the cat?

No, just a couple of couches and a couple of battlers reading, taking the load off.

It's like a break

or yeah.

Yeah, which we asked them about already.

Did you confirm just one dude?

Two.

Two.

Where's the other dude?

It's an older elf lady.

She's like mean mugging you giving you a side eye.

Wait, do I recognize her?

Make a

history check with advantage.

You should see if you recognize either of them.

We got

14.

Do you think you've seen her in the past?

Do you remember her being very mean?

You know her as Mrs.

Lofty Bottom.

That's great.

Mrs.

Lofty Bottom.

That's a fun part to say.

My favorite queen song.

Is she like a like some type of nanny or teacher or like servant?

All you remember about her is that she loves cats.

She's a bat lorette.

Oh, do you want to share that information, maybe?

Hey, Matida, that's Mrs.

Loftybotham.

She's not very nice, but she loves cats.

So maybe if we're trying to ask these people questions, you could show them Gigi.

Oh.

I do a little like magic trick and like twiddle my fingers around my

talents.

My talent.

No, my hands.

And then poof, out comes Gigi.

And he does a little mew.

She looks very lovingly at the cat, but then, like, gives you a disgusted look, Mate.

Well, that's not necessary.

And then she looks back in her book.

I put Gigi right up to her and be like, would you like to pet the kitty?

You seem like you're having a bad day.

Petting a kitty always makes me feel good.

Except for when my wife dies.

It doesn't really solve that.

She looks at you, Chip, and says, Did you know?

Between you and me,

there are over 1400 species of bats.

Oh, that's very interesting.

Elga, that's not just between you guys.

Pretty relevant, Delga.

Uh, Madame Bottom, we're trying to find our way to the top of the tower to find our friend's residence.

Could you help us maybe with some information on how to find that?

She like claps her hands.

I'm ready to give to serve this woman's demands.

I hissed at her.

That's my friend.

Get your bat facts out of here.

Is the hiss because she likes to be a little bit more of a drink?

Miss Bottom, between you and me.

I don't like you.

Well, I don't like you either.

You and that Kenku over there.

What's wrong with Zakinku?

Oh, birds.

Oh.

She's got a book?

Yes.

I smacked the book out of her hand.

You see,

this is the kind of thing I would expect from you.

A bat would never do anything like this.

She looks at you, Olga.

I don't care about your bats.

Did you know that bats have few natural predators?

Disease is one of their biggest threats.

Why are you talking to me when you've been so mean to me in the past?

Miss Loftie Bottom.

She likes narrows her eyes.

Oh,

fun brass, right?

Correct.

She picks her book up and then goes back to reading it.

Interesting.

You know, interesting reaction.

This lady's bringing down the mood for the whole party.

I think we let her mellow in her bad vibes, gang.

We're not gonna let her bring us down, Miss Tootie Bottom.

Nailed it.

Alright, well thank you for your time.

Mati kills her.

I wanted to leave one of the more apples.

As you all are turning to leave, Barney, she grabs you and says, Hey, don't forget!

Like cats!

Bats cleaned themselves!

Remember that?

I never forget.

Could never forget such a thing.

All right, should we go to the east corridor that they kept motioning towards?

So, just to remind you, when you're in the workshop, there is a door to the south and then an open passage corridor to the east.

Okay, let's go east.

Did we come in through the door?

We came in from the north where there's no door.

We went to the coffin to the west, and then there's to the east is the from the workshop, is what he's describing.

Oh, there's a passageway to the east from the workshop, correct, and that's the one that uh that uh bull work, ball, ball, bailwork, bailwork

was referencing.

Yeah, and they're kind of

where we're supposed to take our three letters.

But also, there's like.

Oh, I thought Mindy would be a good solution.

There's also a door, though.

Do we want to just really quick bit by?

Because we got a key.

Bailweg.

Yeah.

What's through that door?

That's a closet.

What do you keep in there?

Junk.

Cool.

I look in there.

One man junk is another man's treasure.

You know?

You open up the closet, you give a little city.

You're a giant dog named Junk.

It rips the door apart.

Exactly five points a damage.

Yeah.

So you walk over and open up the door, make a dexterity saving throw, chill.

Gus is trying to kill Blaine's character.

Yeah, 2025.

Right as you open it up, the door opens, and then just like a huge pile of junk just falls out,

filling up the room, the area right in front of it with a bunch of useless things.

And then right as you do that, you know, it makes a loud noise.

Uh-huh.

Two Sferatu walk in from the eastern passageway that y'all were just about to go to.

I say, Miss Lofty Bottom, you got to stop opening the the junk drawer door.

Goodness me, clean this up, Miss Lofty Bottom.

Miss Lofty Bottom did this.

Make a deception check.

Miss Lofty Bottom did this.

Everyone else can also either make a deception check or a stealth check if you want to try to like

you have you have inspiration.

Yeah, I rolled an 11, but I'm gonna roll an inspiration on that one.

I'm doing another stealth check.

I rolled a nine.

I rolled a one.

14 to make a three

on what?

Deception.

I did a

seven.

Only one of us had said we should just go through the east corridor.

If only.

I would have had you all bump right into them in the eastern corridor there.

It would happen.

Yeah, they

hear all the noise and their eyes immediately turn to that closet and they walk straight over to you all.

Bonjour.

Hello.

Identify yourselves.

My name is Elga.

Madame, you are okay.

And these are my friends, Elga's friends.

Who are they?

Elga's friends.

What are they doing here?

Meeting Elga's friends.

Visiting Elga.

Distracts.

Why are you in Zetelzadoc?

Shouldn't you be upstairs?

Oh, you know, I'm being childlike and exploring, you know, as children, young, very young children do.

Full of wonder, you know.

Yeah.

Just being a little curious.

I'll let you make a deception check with advantage.

What's uh, Elga's deception modifier?

Plus four.

Nice.

That's what you're talking about.

Eighteen.

Yeah.

What do you say to that, Gustavo?

Alright.

Take the stair sterabel.

Don't spend too much time down here with your friends.

Okay, thank you, Elko's friends.

Thank you, too.

Everyone said thank you.

Messy Buko.

Like vampires.

They leave the room, exiting out the northern pathway.

Chris just nodded silently on an audio podcast.

In my canon, right there, Barney was going to play as if he was a mute.

Yep.

So if they talked to him, he would have just gestured or written like, I guess.

You know?

Yep.

That was his plan.

There you go.

The mute on the podcast.

It works.

Well, we are describing it very thoroughly to the audience, yes.

All right, we go down the corridor.

You're just going to leave all that clutter out there?

Miss Lofty Bottom.

All right, all right.

I mean, that's up to you.

I do a little like two fingers on the eyes, two fingers on bailwords, and I'm like, I see you.

I see what you're doing.

Barney, look at the clutter, see if there's anything that might be of note.

Of note.

I mean, there's like a well-chewed femur.

I mean, you could probably use that as a club.

That might be worth something.

A well-chewed femur.

Yeah.

It's a bone.

Okay.

I'll take that.

Oh, there's another weapon.

What?

There's a sword, but it's twisted into a pretzel.

Okay, that's fun.

Pretzoord.

Like, purposefully done so?

No, it was by accident.

I don't know.

What is that question?

Like, cut your face.

I don't know.

Oh my gosh.

Oh.

So, all out of all the jars.

Oh, there's been multiple murders this episode and one just happened.

I'll take my femur and get it.

So

that's it.

A pretzel sword and a femur.

I mean, there's some candles.

There's a broom.

And this is all the junk?

Yeah.

Why don't we just shove it in like Sherry Bobbins did on The Simpsons?

Yeah, you can do that.

Gals, I want to get going down the east.

You're going to kind of like reset it how it was, just kind of shove everything back in and close the door.

Close the door.

Yeah, take a broom.

Yeah, it's made of wolf whiskers if you cut every corner it is really not so bad yeah you all shove all the clutter back into the closet and very quickly close the door for the next unsuspecting person to the east to the window i was thinking that too i don't know

i'm gonna start listening to all the more

it's almost as if this is my place it's almost as if it is you walk out the passageway to the east and it kind of dead ends and then there's a corridor that goes out to the left to the north and then a door to your right to the south.

So, like, we hit a fork?

Correct.

This isn't that hallway on the east that we saw, right?

No, no, you're further south from there.

So, like I said, there's a door to the south, and then the corridor continues to the north, and you can see that there are a couple of branches off to the north in various directions, left and right.

Let's keep heading south.

Like, into that corridor?

Why not?

To the south, it's a door.

There's a wooden door, and it's got a word carved into it.

What does the word say?

It says bestiary.

Bistiary.

Oh.

That's where they keep the beasts.

Very good, buddy.

Where would we be without you, Barney?

Probably further along this treasure's path.

One plus one letter.

Yeah.

I say we possibly avoid that one.

I like animals.

Never mind.

Let's go on.

Do we hear any noises through the door?

Yeah, what kind of sounds?

You hear like the moving, like the rattling of chains.

Like things are being chained down.

It should check what the north leads to.

He said it branches off in a few places.

Yeah.

Yeah.

If you go north, there's immediately a branch to the east, and then a little north of that, there's a branch to the west, and then even further at the end of the corridor is a branch to the east.

So that's a three-way.

Just oh, good lord, my dude.

All right.

It's winding paths.

It's a good thing Barney thought to make a map.

I have one.

I'm making one.

Okay.

I feel like my map almost is like hurting me more than helping me.

Yeah, one time we did this in the Infinite Campaign and I ended up just, I think, making it harder for myself.

Yeah.

Okay.

Gonna follow my gut.

What you have cut?

The first path to the east.

What does that lead to?

If we go north?

Northeast.

Yeah, go north and then look down that first path to the east.

You see it's a descending staircase that ends in a T intersection going north and south.

Good.

Any signage in this place?

No.

And then the...

We're just like, okay, we're just like going down and tracing our steps.

And so if we go back and go to the west, which is the only western one from this corridor, where does that go to?

I think we're going to make some choices here.

I thought there was two paths to the west, were there not?

There was one to the one.

Well, you came from one that went to the west.

Yeah, and then it came to a hallway.

And the south was the bestiary, and then north were all these off-paths, right?

Correct.

There's two to the east and one to the west.

Yeah, gotcha.

The one to the west, it's the staircases that lead down, and then the corridor turns to the north.

Okay.

I say we go upwards.

We need like up progression.

And by up, you mean south.

Oh, oh, no, no, no.

Well,

yeah.

Which of these stairways, I haven't been keeping track of that.

Which of these stairways have been going upwards?

The one to the east.

When you came out this way, then you turned north, and the first one immediately to the east,

it does go up slightly.

Let's try.

Let's go.

Yeah, let's go that way.

Let's try.

So we're at a T.

Well, we get to a T that goes north-south, right?

Correct.

It's the T intersection that goes north and south.

From there, there's a descending staircase to the north that seems to turn to the west, and then to your south, the corridor goes a little bit, and there's a door there.

And that goes up a little bit to the south.

No, you said descending,

descending.

Staircase to the north, then to the south, there's no stairs there.

It's just the corridor continues.

So I say south, then.

Okay, let's go to the door.

Yeah, there's a wooden door here.

Is it locked?

You can open it.

A sign?

Has it got a sign?

No sign.

No sign.

Listen, check for traps.

If you want to listen, make a perception check.

If you want to check for traps, make an investigation check.

Okay.

Let's double-team it.

I'm going to do perception.

I got higher perception.

I'll do perception.

I'm not even going to bother telling you my role.

23.

21.

16 investigation.

I'm just sitting in the hall with her fingers in her ears going, blah blah blah.

Ba-ba-ba.

Planning to kill Miss Latte.

She's not number one on my list.

You don't detect any traps.

When you listen, you feel like you can hear almost like the scraping of chains every now and then and then footsteps.

They must be doing the monster mash in there.

It was

a graveyard.

Some sort of vile torture chamber.

I opened the door.

You open the door and it's a rather confined room, smelling of copper with crimson-stained floors, and there's a stack of barrels to the north and to the south.

Obviously, from the north side, you all just enter through a door, and then to the east is a swinging double door, and then to the west is like an open corridor that seems to lead down.

Is there something in here?

Currently, no.

And it's crim.

It's cop.

There's copper with crimson-stained floors.

Smelling of copper with crimson-stained floors.

Smelling of copper.

That'd be blood.

That's blood, yeah.

Yeah, because blood typically has like a coppery smell, right?

Betit looks up.

There's a stone ceiling about 20 feet over here.

Could I look in one of the barrels?

Yeah, you go over to the barrels, and it seems like there's a liquid inside of it.

Could I tell if it's blood?

Yes, it smells like blood to you.

Okay, could I taste it?

Yeah, dip a little fingy in there.

You know, the barrels have, you know, lids on the top and the bottom.

They're laying on their side, and there's like a little cork stopper in the side.

You open it up, and it's just like filled to the brim.

You give a little taste.

Ooh, yeah, goat blood.

Goat blood.

Goat blood.

Oh, no.

Remember that mountain goat we saw?

Oh.

Is there a...

Am I alive?

With it?

No.

Is there a chain on the floor anywhere or anything?

No, but as that moment, as you're looking around, a battler wanders in from that western corridor, leading a tethered goat into the room.

Just the man we were looking for!

Hey, you.

He kind of looks up at you and then looks back down, continuing on his way.

Where do we...

Where's stairs?

Uh

little turned around we're from

scam

sylvania i like how you're just telling people where you're from even though they're not questioning you at all

master of deception

a rogue it's a dwarf who's wandered in with this goat and uh he says yeah you go over there with her

does he indicate where when he says this

I was told to take that goat.

He looks at you and then looks at the goat.

He just kind of shrugs his shoulders and gives you the chain to fleeing the goat and then wanders back to the west thank you a new friend hello goat

i didn't want it to die that is your goat now by me that goat will not survive this campaign everyone you get a pet

congratulations did i recognize that battler make a history check with advantage oh my god i rolled two ones oh no no didn't seem familiar to you i think that was your dad

I think I didn't say this.

It's a really big goat.

It's a giant goat.

Oh, no.

Like horse-size riding?

Yeah, it's probably about that size.

Wow.

Okay.

You can get a lot of blood out of that guy.

Like mileage.

You pat it on the back.

Wow, there's a lot of blood.

A lot of goat power in there.

Here's the problem that's going to arise from this new companion.

We are trying to blend in, yeah.

We are trying to seem like we are counts of this area.

And I do not think walking around with the foot on the giant.

I don't think so.

The dwarf wanders back into the room from the west, this time with a chain leading a giant brown bear.

I'll let him keep that one.

He doesn't even look at you all.

He walks over to the center of the room, and he slices open a vein and begins draining blood from the bear into a barrel.

Bummer.

Anyways, let's leave this place.

Should we go through those double doors?

Yeah.

To the east?

Yeah, it looks like it's swinging double doors to the east.

And that's not where they came in.

You said the west is where they came from.

Correct.

This one came in from the west.

I feel like that is connected to the beastie area, the one to the west.

Yeah, so

we should go east.

Okay, yeah, double doors.

Ilga, you said you were going through first, right?

Yeah.

Which double door do you go through, the left side or the right side?

I swing them both equally open in the middle.

And then Chip makes like little

like spurs.

She's a little cowgirl.

You ain't seeing none of this in this town.

Are you taking the goat with you, Barney?

Yes.

Okay.

We are now going to be rolling at disadvantage on every check we do.

Marley, I don't know if we should take that through here.

It might be hard to navigate.

We can't leave it here.

The dwarf begins leading the bear back out to the west.

Oh, so it lives.

He just gets a little bit of blood out of it.

Yeah.

He's fine.

Can I pull Chip aside really quick?

Ader.

Hey, Chipani, how you doing?

Chip and I are going to have a moment, okay?

Okay.

Chip.

If we kill this goat,

the goat won't be a problem anymore.

So.

Which means Barney won't be a problem at this point.

Ed, you're not part of this.

I wash my hands of this.

I don't want any part.

I will distract Barney.

And you will do what you do best.

Kill goat.

Barney, make an animal handling check.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

It's going to kick Barney, isn't it?

That's a 17.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

The goat's really stubborn.

It doesn't want to follow you, but you manage to get it to continue to follow you.

It's fine.

It's fine.

Let's just go.

So, Elga, you push open both doors and walk through.

You nearly hit a battler who's coming out

in the opposite direction.

The opposite direction.

But they definitely dodge out of the way at the last second.

Say, oh, careful.

And they keep going.

They keep walking past you.

My apologies.

You know, I'm very familiar with these parts of the castle.

Town area thing.

Spire.

You burst through the swinging doors and you find yourself in a large dining hall, bustling with a cacophonous carousal.

There's two long tables running parallel through the center of the room, occupied by probably a dozen or so battlers all sipping from rusty goblets.

To the north, there's a few tapped barrels resting on a bench next to some empty goblets.

No outlet?

There is a door to the east.

Like on the opposite side of the room came in.

Okay.

Make a history check with advantage.

Are the battlers vamps?

Because if they're eating blood,

what are they eating?

They're drinking out of rusty goblets.

I mean, I assume they're bats.

Or like some type.

Well, he said like there was like a uh there was a gnome and there was a dwarf, and yeah, maybe it's just all they eat.

Like, that's all they have.

They have no choice.

I don't know.

Interesting.

I don't think I recognize anyone, but just in case they go, eee, ee, eee, ee, ee, ee, eee, no response.

Oh, it's gonna happen.

What was his name?

Quiffler?

Quifler?

Quifl.

Quiffly.

Quiggly.

Quiffliery.

Quiffly.

Sounds like a Quiffliery.

Yeah, you do not recognize anyone else.

Did you ever feed Quiffley?

I do.

It was not my responsibility.

He could take care of himself and depend on

She didn't blut her cliffly before she left.

Try explaining that phrase to anybody who doesn't listen to this podcast.

Yeah.

As you all are standing there, two Sferatu walk in from the room you all were just in, coming in through the double doors.

They nearly bump into you.

Hello, again.

Me, Elga, remember with my friends.

Same ones?

No, these are different ones.

Uh.

What are you doing down here?

They look at you, Elka.

Again, just exploring, you know, like kids do.

Elka, are you lost.

Barney, make an animal handling check.

Okay.

No.

Chip is turning his back to just kind of join a group of battlers.

23.

Hoofer's great.

I love Hoofer.

Hoofer is about to let a loud, really loud bleed out, but you like kind of

hold his mouth and keep him from making too much noise.

I thought you said he was going to bleed out.

Oh, bleed.

Bleed.

He's like, no, so he bleats.

That's so funny.

Yeah, no, I'm just a little lost.

Can you guys actually help me get back to my chambers?

I'll say make a deception check with advantage because you're not entirely lying yeah okay there's a 23 a 23.

wow they uh look rather annoyed with you and they just kind of point vaguely to the northeast and turn around and leave out to the west i imagine these guys just kind of hover right they just got like a creepy little gate to them so so that could be through that door maybe or where we first started in the initial hallway where we could have just gone to the east down that corridor and instead we went to the west did they were they motioning in the room towards the end of the room?

But it seemed more like they were pointing in a direction rather than something in the room.

Oh, well, there's a door on the opposite side of

which is to the east.

So

let's go through there.

Anything of an of interest in here to anybody?

No.

Pretzel weapons?

Hopefully this is not the area where the red wedding happens.

You guys would love that.

As you're walking through, one of the battlers tugs at you, Chip.

Does he tug my tail?

You know, it tugs on your cloak.

Oh, okay.

Ah, hey there.

Hey, uh you're the guy that's taking the the letters to the aviary right yeah yeah i'm a bit turned around where is the aviary

he uh points to the north actually he points to the northwest okay he goes hey can uh can can y'all do any more work can you do any work for me i what you got what do you got we need to uh get rid of some uh some carcasses from the beastiary take them over to the refusiary

So many side quests.

Could you use some help

maybe,

you know.

He kind of looks around, make sure the spheratu have left the room.

You could uh sneak into the scrienery see what the spheratu are up to over there see if they you know we can figure out some stuff.

I look for approval from from the gang.

What are we feeling about this guys?

What's in it for us?

We get to sneak in and listen to this for

if you help out I could uh maybe get you into the dregs maybe uh hook you up with some hemo pieces.

He just he just named four new places

or if you could do something about these gosh darn rats and he kicked the rat from under the table.

I stabbed the rat.

What's up with the rats?

I don't know.

They're everywhere.

They're making the creatures in the bestiary sick.

When did they start showing up?

It seems like it's gotten especially worse in the last month.

And you don't know where they're coming from?

No.

If you could help find them, that would be so appreciated.

I can tell you what, we will definitely kill any rats that we see along the way.

How does that sound?

Great.

As far as the bestiary and the refusiary, if it's on our way, absolutely.

But we kind of got a thing to do.

Yeah, I already got my hands full with these letters.

All right, well, I mean, I just might be interested in the dregs, that's all.

What is the dregs?

You know, the black market.

Oh, is that here in the spire?

Yeah, you know, it is.

Is it up or down?

I don't know.

If you do me a favor, maybe I can tell you.

What's this guy's name?

So many NPCs.

The name's 20 Wayne.

Count 20 Wayne.

What?

Count?

Yeah.

Are you a battler?

Count 20 Wayne.

Is he a battler?

Makeup perception check.

Yeah, is he dressed?

Yeah, I'm going to check on this too.

Oh, you better check.

I got a nine.

I got a seven.

I got a twelve.

Elga, you know, this is a this is a battler.

This is not a count.

They're all messing with us.

These little, these little...

He's got a very dilapidated, like a very threadbare, torn cloak on.

I think these battlers are from Scamsylvania.

Can I...

I can get Hoofer to help us carry the bodies.

Again, I say if we bump into the beastiary,

and we're just kind of, it's on our way, then yeah, let's do it.

Let's go to the beastiary.

Okay, fine.

Scamsylvania.

Sounds great.

So we'll have to backtrack then to go back to the beast here.

Yeah, just right over there.

He points

to the west.

He's very insistent about this rat problem, and it is involved in the bestiary.

Maybe we should investigate.

Okay.

Two birds, one stone.

Oh, sorry.

That's a bad

standard.

Miss Lofty Bottom would be your friend.

We go.

Miss Lofty Bottom, we know what channel she watched on TV.

We go west and west, I guess, through the room that smells like copper into the beastiery.

Correct.

Yep.

All right, let's go.

What's your marching order?

Elga first.

Elga, when you get to the double doors, which one do you go through?

The right one.

You go through the right door, and someone's coming through the other side at the exact same moment, and you bump into each other.

But if they're coming the other side, would I not bump into them?

Yeah, you say that you pumped it.

They came in on the same side.

Elga's tried to go out.

They tried to open

the left door for that one.

Correct.

Yeah, they bump right into you and you take...

What?

Were they just running around with swords forward?

They're running in with food.

You take three points of bludgeoning damage.

Pretzel swords.

Pretzel, swords.

Pretzel swords on a tray.

The battler's holding their nose going.

Ah!

Do they take any points of damage?

Yes.

Oh, their nose is bloody.

Oh, no.

I'm so sorry.

Okay, no need to cry.

Left, left.

You left the room.

Okay, okay, okay.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

I was just.

I did a little bit of spinning before, and I was just a little dizzy, and I think I just went through the wrong door.

You know, kid stuff.

The battler continues on their way.

Okay, let's go to the bestiary, which was...

You walk to the west, which takes you back into the cellar.

And then from there, that's the room that that battler was bringing creatures in from that room

to the west of there.

It looks like a

ramp.

Okay, let's go down the ramp to the bestiary.

Yes, I'm saying.

I'm not the code here.

Yeah, you walk further west and it's a large, cool chamber reeking of fecal fetidness

with straw covering the floor stocked with stacked cages confining various creatures along the western wall to the east on the side you entered from there's chains and metal harnesses hanging on the wall a steaming cauldron of topaz liquid and this ramp leading to the cellar that you came from are there any bodies like because they said they wanted to dispose of bodies that was a separate thing i think but that was in the bestiary though oh yeah make a was it yeah make a perception check we had to go from bestiary to refusiary is what i was saying and the rats were a problem in the bestiary too yeah they're everywhere 17.

you notice that some of the cages have dead creatures in them poor things

could i like looking at the way the floor is laid out does it look like the blood and bodies are dragged towards a particular place oh that's really astute make an investigation check five yeah it's hard to tell with all the straw on the floor i'd like to look for holes that rats would be entering through yeah you find like various missing stone well never mind make an investigation check i I already found it.

You messed up.

Seven.

No, there's no rats here.

Aw, dang it.

Are there any rats in the room with us?

Are the rats in the room with us now?

Are the rats in the room with us as we speak?

You see one rat chewing on some straw.

I shoot at it with my

crossbow.

Make an attack roll.

Okay.

Miss.

18.

Yeah, it hits.

Doing.

Why do you want him to miss?

Yeah, you skewer the rat and it falls over dead.

Okay.

Very good follow.

Do we see where the refusiary entrance or whatever is?

So, you know, you came from the east, so you know that the cellar's over there.

You see a door to the north, and you know that that must be the other side of the door you saw previously that said beastiery on it.

So those are the only two exits from this room.

You can make an make an investigation check from each other.

So we have found a circle, is what we have found.

Yeah.

That's a 15.

You think you see drag marks leading to that northern door.

All right, gang, let's get our hands dirty.

Drag marks?

Like, isn't bodies have been dragged?

Yeah, so the refusary must be to the north.

Okay, so maybe if we go down to that west path, it'll take us there.

Maybe.

Or there's another, because there was another east path.

Correct, further down.

What sort of bodies are in the cage?

In one of the cages, you see a dead giant goat, and in another one, you see a dead elf.

Come here.

A dead elf?

Yes.

Bomer.

Do we hear any squeakings or any mice noises?

Make a perception check.

Ooh, 19.

You don't hear any other scurrying or rat noises.

Do we actually actually need to be disposing of these bodies or should we just be following this path?

I think we'll fall.

We'll follow the path.

Yeah, I feel like the battlers are just trying to get us to do that.

Yeah, and we are supposed to be counts, and we are not supposed to be doing slowly work.

A count asked you to help.

No, he did not.

No, he did.

I had a bad vibe about that guy.

All right, let's go to the refusary then.

All right.

Well, we don't know.

We haven't seen a sign with the refusery.

Go to the drag mark place.

Okay, get the bodies.

You're going to gather the bodies?

Yeah.

And with Hoofer.

Yeah, he said he's going to put them on Hoofer.

Okay.

Yeah, you go up to the cage with which one would you pick first the the goat or the elf probably the elf okay you go up to the cage with the dead elf in it and it's got a lock on it does our key open that lock do you try it i try it because i think i'm in possession of it yeah you uh take the key and try to open the lock this seems more like uh it doesn't seem to fit this seems more like an arcane lock

Are they both locked up?

Yes.

Are there any keys in the room, like hung up or anything?

Barney, make me a wisdom check.

15.

You think that there must be a password that can open these locks.

And as you're staring at it, that dwarf battler is putting a bear back up into a cage.

He sees what you're doing and whispers over to you, Barney.

He like motions for you to bend down so he whisper to you.

Yeah.

Bram.

Then he keeps walking.

Bram.

And it's open.

Yeah, you say that, and then the lock on the cage with the elf opens up.

Okay, and I load him up on hoofer.

Okay.

Does he have anything on him or anything?

Is it just a...

No, very clothes that are very big, oversized.

It seems like the elf is very emaciated and i guess can do the same with the other goat yeah you go over and open up the lock with the goat in it as well and uh load him up with hoofer okay make an animal handling check not 20 25.

yeah i was gonna give you a hard time about it but no hoofer's playing along yeah you load up the elf uh the dead elf and the dead uh giant goat onto

hoofer okay now we go to the the follow the scratch marks marks blood marks drag at the uh the north yeah who opens that door i will go why not Show up as the left side of the door.

It's not a double door, but that's good to know.

Yeah, you open it up, and it is that hallway you saw before.

And then from your perspective now, it just goes straight ahead of you to the north.

The passageway to the west, which leads to the workshop, you know.

Passageway just a little to the north and to the east, which you had already taken.

Then further beyond, that's another corridor that turns to the west, and then at the very end, it turns to the east.

So there's like two corridors we haven't explored down there.

Correct.

One to the west and one to the east.

Could we tell where the drag marks are leading?

Make an investigation check.

Can I participate in this?

Sure.

Do I have advantage since I'm looking up close?

Yes.

Sorry, I ask every time.

And I rolled a four is my better roll.

Really?

Two and a four.

Yeah.

Ten.

Yeah, it's on, it's unclear.

It's hard to see.

Maybe by this point, you know, a lot of the blood has dried up, so you really can't tell which direction it goes.

Barney, question for you.

Yeah.

Do you think Stinker would be jealous of Hoover?

No, I don't think so.

Okay.

Different animals, right?

Yeah, different farm animals.

Gotcha.

Okay, just asking.

I mean, by Casey.

Yeah, make an animal handling check.

13?

Yeah, Stinker seems very indifferent.

Okay, see if Stinker can sniff towards the dead bodies, whatever you call it, room.

Oh, like a guide dog.

How are you gonna try to get Stinker to do that?

I point at the dead bodies and go, and then point, like, forward, like, where, like, have him sniff them and be like, go find him.

You know?

Alright, make an animal handling check.

Lots of an animal handling check this episode.

This is the animal handling episode.

Stinker poops on.

14.

does he poop please is a skeleton i don't think so does you just don't see it stinker just starts licking your foot uh and then he begins whimpering oh sorry and then right at that moment one single spheratu walks around the corner from that furthest one that goes to the east and looks at you all don't engage don't engage i just keep walking towards where he came out of i walk towards the op to the other door

I doubt the Sferatu would be heading towards the dead bodies.

So what do you mean?

So Chip's going in the direction the Sferatu came from.

It was just the east.

Right, the the east.

That's the place we haven't gone through.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm going that way.

I guess I'm saying I would imagine the Sferatu wouldn't be going to where they dispose of bodies.

They seem to be just patrolling.

Yeah, I think there's just patrols.

Because they keep going around and everywhere.

Okay, what about Elga and Mate?

Yeah, I'm following.

I'll follow.

Okay.

The Sferatu looks at the carcasses on Hoofer's back, looks you all over, and then just seems to ignore you and keeps going on his way.

Yeah, we just gotta not engage.

Do suspicious stuff.

So what do we see?

Do we find the...

Yeah, you turn that corner to the east, and it's a very long long hallway that ends in a door at the far side on the east.

Uh-huh.

About halfway down the corridor to the north is a door.

And then as well on the right side to the south is another door.

And this whole hallway kind of goes up a little bit.

Elga, I hate your home.

Hey!

I didn't make it.

So there's three doors?

You say one on the south wall, one on the north wall.

And then one on the east wall.

Do any of these doors...

Could I look at them and see if any of them look significant?

Well, they're all significant.

But I mean,

are there any symbols or anything written on any of them?

None of if, like, if you're asking if any of them are labeled, there aren't any really labels on any of them.

They're just unmarked doors.

No symbols or anything?

No.

Okay.

Are they all open?

Like, could I just try the handle?

The one thing that stands out is the one to the east and the south are wooden, whereas the one to the north is iron.

Oh,

I think we should check out that north door.

Iron door.

Iron door first.

Yeah.

Is it open?

I bet that's the ABA and then the

dumpy bodies and the wooden doors.

Either way, we get something accomplished because we got tasks.

Yeah, you try to open it, it's got a lock on it.

Does our key open that lock?

Yeah.

And it's a very austere room with a red sigil on the northern wall, just above a kneeling bench.

And there's a bloodstone font in the center filled with swirling crimson icor.

Seems like from that room, there's another passage to the east.

Oh my god.

Like a fountain?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Filled with liquor.

Or icor.

Icor.

What is acre?

Like a gore?

Like a thick liquid.

Okay.

Is that like...

A thickwood.

Like a thing you would dump bodies into?

That's what you are.

You don't think so.

Okay.

I will say, Barney, make me a religion check.

Oh, this is like a...

There's like a kneeling bench is what he said.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe like a three.

That's a three.

Yeah, definitely no bodies here.

And Ben Church, Cleric.

And Ben Churchman.

Hey, Barney.

Could I go look at the fountain?

Or the acres?

Yeah, you begin walking to the north to walk up to the fountain, and as you're doing that, Elga, you hear footsteps around the corner getting closer and closer.

Are they coming from the east?

Yes.

As they quickly approach, you hear a voice speaking in hushed tones.

Oh, this just isn't my day.

You know this voice.

It's a young male dwarf with uneven ginger hair runs straight into you and spills a bottle of blood everywhere.

Oh, my ba.

Are you okay?

Elga?

Quiffly?

Yeah, you found Quiffley the battler.

Kiki kiki!

Cliffly!

Oh my gosh.

Hugs him.

Yeah, and he gives you a big hug back.

I joined the group hug.

Iki Geeky!

Ikiki Giki!

These are my friends, Cliffly.

Oh, I can't wait to meet them in the next episode or chase on the sticky dragon.

Hooper, we're just gonna.

I don't know what's gonna happen to you.

Thanks for listening, everybody.

We'll see you guys next week.

Ikiki,

Blobla, Gerbal is hello.

Ikiki is bye.

Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

Did you know that you could directly support the show by subscribing at stinkydragonpod.com/slash first?

We have some amazing little stinkers that we want to shout out this week, including Misfit Weird Girl, Aphelia, same.

We got Vixie Soft Paws, Norse Ingram, Poke Inspired, and Subangelis.

Thank you guys so much.

You are directly supporting the show and you get access to more great content like Second Wind, interact with us on subscriber-only Discord channels and events, and so much more.

Again, that's stinkydragonpot.com slash first.

We cannot thank you guys enough for your support.

It really, truly helps us be able to make this show and hopefully do so much more in the future.

We also had some listeners who interacted with us on social media and Discord, who had NPCs named after them in this week's episode.

We had Graf the Painter at the Zero Photographer on First, voiced by Christian Young, who is X Chin Young on social media.

Vin Vaughn, the stinky-fingered halfling, named after Vin Culprit on first.

Beowarg the Monster Slayer, user Von Beowulf on Reddit, voiced by Andrew Panton at Andrew Panton on social media.

Card Eye Now, the aspiring bartender, named named after Tusked Centaur on first.

Mrs.

Loftybottom, the bird hater, named after Jeremy Smurf on Discord and voiced by Larry Matavina at Larry Matavina on social media.

We also had Gally the Mumbling Animal Handler named after Unicorn Dookie on first.

Twenty Wayne the Count, who's at BB on first.

And finally, Quiffley, who is Elga's butler, named after Aaron the Ace on first and voiced by Ben Ernst at Halcyon underscore Ben on social media?

Additionally, we had the Sferatu who are voiced by our very own David Sonye, who is at David underscore Sonia on social media.

The Stinky Dragon channel is managed by Ben Ernst.

This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Kai Cook, written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger with additional editing work by David Sonye.

Head over to stinkydragonpod.com/slash first for all things stinky and make sure to tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

That's me being spooky.

I walk over to another cage and I whisper into the lock, Stephanie Meyer.

The lock begins sparkling.

I also understand this reference.

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Author of Twilight, which is another vampire.

Bram Stoker is a vampire.

Okay.

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