C02 - Ep. 36 - Vengeance in Vainia - Speak Truth to Tower

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It's a mixture of Coke Cannot Catch Me Milk, a slingshot of gumdrops, a forking of mapled molasses, a crumbling of ginger realms, and coffee brewed as fast as you can.

One gulp of this gummy guzzler, you'll feel like one tough cookie. Previously, our adventurers ventured into the village of Vania with fresh vows.

After a trip to the Vladbank, they strolled through shops, spoke with citizens, but their townly tour was interrupted by the familiar face of Francesca.

Round up a refreshment, and let's resume this rank recollection.

Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Sinky Dragon.
I'm Gustavus Rola, the dungeon master of our Putrid party. I'm going to hit our four players with an arrow.

This week's role-playing warm-up question is

from last episode.

It is so different from last week. How does your character feel about receiving/slash giving orders? Are they more of a leader or a follower?

Hello.

That's me saying I'll go first.

Leaders. I am the leader of this party, Barbara Dunkelman, Elga Von Brath, the half-elf vampire barbarian.
And Elga, I think, is definitely a leader

because she's been kind of been given orders her whole life. And she's had to follow orders.

And so whenever she is separate from that, she likes to really take charge and really show her strengths, which are many multitudes. So you're a leader if you're not being given orders.
You know what,

Gustavo? Why don't you get out of the booth? I just want to clarify, Olga. That's all.
Get out of my booth. Get out of here.

I used to be a follower. Now I'm a leader.
I'm empowered. Oh, gotcha.
Got you.

Okay, yeah, that makes sense. Now get out.
Okay, sorry. I'll show myself out.

Hey there, it's Chipaney,

played by Blaine Gibson. Chipaney is a tiefling rogue, level seven, recently widowed.
And

what a terrible, oh my god.

Chip built his whole personality on the fact that he was happily married.

And look what you did to me, Micah. Look what you made.
Is that how Chip's going to introduce himself now to everybody? Hey there, Chip Haney, recently widowed. Yeah, yeah.

He's still grieving. He's still processing.
He should be.

I would say that Chip, you know, back in the day, oh, a heck of a guy.

He'd take orders, you know, if he'd listen to the leader, if they deserved it but you know his days of playing sports at Yanford his days of being a volunteer firefighter his days at dagger he's known to lead a group of you know ne'er do wells oh watch out for a bachelor party because if chips planning it oh buddy there's something happening every 30 minutes on the die it's gonna be a hoot it's gonna be a hoot and a hauler We call it like a bachelor party.

Yeah.

There's like different names for else places. There's also like hen parties.

What's the groteth version? Oh,

the monster mash. Yeah.

Battler party? Battler party. Yeah, that's good.
Bet Ben says maybe Beaslebud parties. Beaslebub parties.

Beaslebud parties. Like they're buds.

Dudes hanging out and doing dude things. Okay, so Chip is professing that he's more of a leader as well.
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Somehow I feel like that will not work well for me.

Rock, paper, scissors, shoot?

I'll shoot you, yes.

Ilga's got a gun. Where did she get that one?

Why does half our party have firearms? Well, I already have it. Did you give it to her? I already have nine arrows in me from the last episode when we shot ourselves.
Crossbow bolts in your brain.

You want me? Go ahead. Okay, I go.
I'm John Reisinger, and I play Matique Confiscise, who's an Eric Cochrane ghost monk.

And, you know, this will come to no surprise to anybody, but I don't really subscribe to the binary very well of this conversation.

And so it really is like, you know, I I feel in the moment and whatever it is, I'll go with this. The third option, yeah.

One, two, three. Deterred option.

You have such a beautiful way with the words. It's so beautiful.

Get back on their boom.

Does Mate find themselves

doing one more than the other, though? Or is it pretty even in the moment? I would say Mateed actually is more of a listener than a follower.

I'm not necessarily going to be be giving out orders, but I'm going to take in account what's going on around me. But if it's, I'm getting impatient, I'm going to go do things.

You successfully managed a bakery. That's

leadership, right? You're going to lead all those croissants around. Did you have other work?

No. You were the

sole proprietor?

Give yourself an inspiration, guys. I already have one.
Turn my headphones down. Fire Blaine.

He's fire resistant. Hey, there you go.
We're done. Two for two here.
This is our second recording of the day. We're on fire.
Tales from those sticky driveways. Blaine and I are drinking coffee.

Oh, wow.

So, Barney,

for the most,

as you know, Barney is a follower. Oh, I'm Chris Damaris.
And I played Barney Farney, the human cleric. I think the personalities are merging between Chris and Barney.

Like, the line's getting blurred. You're just realizing that now.

I was just waving to Chris. Yeah, but Barney is, for the most part, a follower in that, like, you know, he could be walking around town

and then just start following someone and not remember why or who and then be like,

oh, I'm trying to be catching. And then they finally catch up to them and then they realize they've never met them.

It's like when a kid gets lost at an amusement park and they think they see their dad and then they just start following some random adult. You're just describing how we got Barney.
Yeah.

That's how it was.

How we got Barney. I think there's a lot to be said for players who describe themselves as leaders or followers and the order with which you all did this.

Can I also, though?

I agree, guys. Yeah, I think it says a lot.

Barbara is sitting up so upright. My posture has never been better.
Yeah. But that is Barney more so as you know him for the most part.

But when it comes down to it, I don't think Barney's a leader or a follower. He's, I don't want to say lone wolf, but he does his own thing and kind of stubbornly sometimes.

Okay, got a big thumbs up from John. Is that good for the arrows? Yeah, I'm happy.
Gus, are you a follower leader? No more ammo. I'm a leader.
I'm a leader, baby. I'm a leader, baby.

Lead us, dungeon, mister. That's right.

As you all are walking over to the sign that says Oldenwares, you see a crowd forming near the middle of town in front of the vamp spire.

In the center, a few people shouting at the top of their lungs. Dracula, more like Dracula.
Uh-oh. Your own so-called leader has broken the Vanian vows himself.

And yet he refuses to answer for himself. The crowd begins to grumble and shuffle closer.
You catch a glimpse of three protesters interlocking arms blocking the entrance to the vampspire.

They start shouting in unison. You can bite! We won't budge till we get some oversight! People in the crowd start to shout at the protesters, Where do you come off?

Yeah, Dracula would never break the vows. Who do you think you are anyway?

The protester in the center steps onto a pedestal and you finally see it's a fetching woman with green eyes, fading long auburn hair, wearing a floral patterned blouse. She looks familiar.

Our names aren't important, but our cause is! The alchemist's jaw drops. That's...
That's my wife. Frank Esca! The crowd becomes irate and starts charging straight for the three protesters.
Francesca!

Everyone roll initiative. Whoa!

I don't want to fight her. Wait, do you think we're in a fight with Francesca? We had to roll initiative, right? The protesters who were protesting protesting Dracula?

Wait, yeah, was Frank Esca trying to... Francesca's one of the protesters.
Yeah. That's defending or against

us. They're protesting against Dracula.
Yeah. So they were rising up.

What's the ratio? Protesters to... There's three protesters.
To a whole crowd of people.

To a mob of people.

So this was not a popular protest. These odds are not in the middle.
Do we know what side we're on?

That's what we're going to figure out with these initiatives. It's probably Frank Eska's side.
I have a question. Yeah.
Yeah.

I do not remember how we said goodbye to Francesca last time. They rode off into the desert with Henry.
That's the last time you saw Francesca. Thank you.

And Robert was with them. Thank you.

I remember now. Appreciate it.
I have an advantage on initiative, but it's a 15. 15? What did I roll? 22 for Barney.
18 for Matid. Oh, thank you.

16.

Sorry, there's a leak in here. Surely we'll rest before we have to go into battle after visiting.
I'm out! Peace!

All right, you guys have won.

I regret nothing. There we go.

Down.

Barney, you're up first, followed by Mateed. So can you give me the layout a little more? Like, where are we in relation to the three protesters? And also, where's the alchemist? What's he doing?

The alchemist is with you all currently. I rolled initiative for him as well.

Although the protesters are outside of the vamp spire, and you see the vampspire is surrounded by a moat, and there's like a bridge that connects it to the side that you are on.

And the protesters are kind of blocking that bridge to enter the Vamp Spire. And it's kind of like a small semicircle courtyard that, you know, they're north of you.

And then between you and them is a bunch of bystanders and the mob.

Okay. The bystanders are between us and the mob, or is it just like the mob? Yeah, they're kind of like people.
Bystanders are like people who are milling about.

Maybe they're looking, you know, over at the protesters, but kind of like walking here to there.

Yeah. And then like feet wise, like how far away you have to

don't don't humor me bonus uh inspiration die i guess you're about 60 feet away from the mob from i should say you're 60 60 feet away from the start of the mob and then uh just beyond that like they're kind of encircling the protesters so the protesters are a few feet away further maybe let's say 70 feet away okay 70 feet away from me the protester okay yeah like the mob starts 60 feet away and then the protesters are 70 feet away like in the middle of the mob all right all right and we haven't really determined who we're fighting with.

Well, what Barney should do is just fire off a giant AOE attack just at everybody. Barney should just shoot his gun into the air to get everyone to stop.

I'm going to cast, Barney's going to move forward towards the group.

That's what he's casting.

And then he's going to cast calm emotions.

Barney's going to give everybody melatonin. Yeah,

so I got a 60-foot range on it, and it's a 20-foot radius sphere. So if the 20-foot radius sphere, then that would be a 40-foot.

Yeah, that would encompass pretty much the entire mob and the protesters. I love this because he'd be like,

oh, hey, what are we doing here?

And they have to make a charisma saving throw. 17.
I'll read the spell. Okay, thank you.
You attempt to suppress strong emotions in a group of people.

Each humanoid in a 20-foot radius sphere centered on a point you choose within range must make a charisma saving throw. Creature can choose to fail this saving throw if it wishes.

If a creature fails its saving throw, choose one of the following two effects: you can suppress any effect causing a target to be charmed or frightened when this spell ends.

Any suppressed effect resumes, provided that its duration has not expired in the meantime. Alternatively, you can make a target indifferent about a creature of your choice that it is hostile toward.

This indifference ends if the target is attacked or harmed by a spell, or if it witnesses any of its friends being harmed.

When the spell ends, the creature becomes hostile again until the DM rules otherwise.

It's a good, very timely spell to use so your target is the mob yeah and the creatures of your choice are the protesters is that correct yeah yeah is there a limit to how many creatures you can choose the the radius

yeah and then as far as like

you make a target indifferent about creatures of your choice yeah so yeah make them indifferent about the protesters and i target the mob right okay roll a hundred uh charisma checks and i i would also say

tell me more. I would like to include the protesters about the mob to make them indifferent towards the mob so that they don't.

I don't know if you can cover both. Chip's also feeling very emotional.
Can he make a movement into the spear? Chip that rolls into it.

Because you choose with the spell, you choose targets and

creatures. I think like you would need two spells to do it to have it go both ways.
All right, well, I will do that. So it's DC17 charisma.
Is that correct? Yeah.

Okay. I have plus three, so I need 14 or better.
Let's see.

But you roll. So I kind of broke the mob up into fractions and fragments to make it easier, so I don't have to roll a bunch of different saves.

So I broke them up into quarters and I rolled four times.

All four rolls failed. Yay!

Wow. Wow.
Remember Boss Nass and Star Wars? Peace.

I got a six.

A 15, a 16, and a 12. Good job.
And then. What's the the duration on that spell? Concentration up to one minute.
Okay, so you've got a minute.

Shake it. Way to go.
We have one minute, so then we need to get them out of there as quickly as possible.

I guess as a bonus, that. Set a timer for one minute.
Oh, my God. No, whoa.

Brutal.

Do it, guys. Ma'am, let's go.
You got 56 seconds. I like this.

Dan, then. All right, so

I rush. I rush forward.
We gotta get them out of here. I rush

forward to the

ladies, protester,

Francesca.

Oh, my goodness, it's Francesca Hexel and the mummy.

What?

You got 30 seconds. Oh, no, no, that's not real time.

And then, and then, and then, as a bonus act,

or in combat, that should take a lot

of six seconds.

And then

I throw a a healing word at Chip.

Okay. I support this hollow.
How much is that for? Well, you can't cast two spells. Do there was one.
Oh, shit. You're right.

Never mind.

Nothing. I do myself.
I go as far as I can, and then I use my psychic thing to push myself five feet forward. Build a tense.
Build a tent.

Hunt.

And that's fine.

I like how whenever Chris feels rushed, he just gets louder.

As if that's going to like... It's faster.
Swaster. 35 feet forward.
Okay, you are more than halfway up to them. And can I also have yelled like, hide, run!

Get out of here.

Hexel was from like the very beginning of the campaign, right? No, Hexel's the glerb. Yeah.
Correct. There's a

whole snail village was attacked by Phoenix. Yes.
This character. Correct.

All right.

So I would say that because you cast the spell and you, you know, you kind of placated everyone, that the protesters recognize you they see you obviously they recognize you barney and uh you know they kind of hunker down they try to back away from the mob as much as they can okay they they don't but they don't like hide there's so many bystanders and the mob is like everywhere it would be really difficult for them to hide especially because there are a lot of eyes on them even if they're indifferent eyes there are still a lot of eyes on them Usually when I'm indifferent, I just close my eyes.

Take a nap. Yeah.
I'm going to do that for the rest of this campaign. Oh, Barbara's so indifferent.
Wow, look at me. No one attacked.
Mateed, you're up after Mateed is chip. John, stop.

I said no one attacked. And John gave me a look like.

John's their own bird. They can do whatever they want.

Attack yourself if you want. I can't.
I'll die.

Chip.

No, I couldn't. One HP.

Okay. So Francesca and Hexel and Mummy are the furthest from us.
Yeah, they're like in the middle of it. They're at the bridge.
Correct. And is there something I can do?

I think I have a must-have hair in my mouth.

Is there something I can do? Sorry. It helped your accent.
I just have to.

Very good, Barbara. I want to try to determine if this is odd that the three of them are there and protesting.
I don't understand what this protest is about.

It seems like they're mad at Dracula claiming that he has broken the Vania vows himself.

I don't know what those are. Probably because they're being subject to them.

You read them. Oh, ironic.
So hypocritical. Hexel, Mummy, and Francesca are mad that Dracula broke those vows and the mob disagrees that Dracula hasn't broken those vows.

It seems like they don't want to listen to anything.

It's like a slander. Okay, okay, yeah, yeah, okay.
Thank you. Appreciate that.
Can I check to see if, like, I don't know, is this actually them? Are they being controlled? Is there...

It just feels odd. Dark magic? Yeah.
Yeah. I don't have to tech magic.
You do like insight. Yeah, I'll I'll do a little bit of an insight.
Do I get anything like advantage?

We'll give you advantage because you know these three people.

I think I might have something maybe. But yeah, I'll take it anyways just because you're being so sweet.
Just a sweet little dungeon mister.

That one's a 10 and a 6 and an 8.

So two bad rolls. It doesn't seem like they're under any control or duress.
They seem to be themselves. Okay.
This mob, they're just regular humanoids?

Yeah, various humanoids, people, you know, walking around. nothing out of the ordinary.
Okay, I'm gonna take to the skies and I'm going to

I guess the farthest I could get to them, I can go 120 if I double

if you move 60, yeah. Yeah, so would that get me to them? Yeah, uh, because 60 would be you'd get at the mob, but you'd be like 10 feet short of the protesters.

Okay, I guess I will land with the protesters, join them

viva resistance.

Petit has a guillotine.

Parisians love a good protest. Yeah,

all about it. Just out of curiosity side question, is Dracula spelt the normal way, or how do we spell Dracula? D-R-A-C-U-L-A.
Okay, so yeah.

I was gonna say if you did like a K or something, I'd be like, get out of town. Just make it a G.
Dragula? Dragula. Oh, I like that.
Yeah. And then I will, I'll cast Visage of the Astral Self.

What that does is as a bonus action or as part of a bonus action, I can make my face glow with that visage. And that gives me wisdom of the spirit, which gives me advantage on intimidation checks.

Could I actually cast that alongside arms of the astral self so that it's all a big display?

Like, you know, it's very cool. Like, Mateed flies up and then lands like

dramatically

next to the protesters and then glows and bursts open with all these extra wings that are glowing

and tells the mob. Oh,

what can I say to tell them to intimidate them? What's the protesters? Yeah,

the mob. You have garlic bread.
There's something about Dracula being like,

you know, appreciates

your

support, but wants you to get back to work.

Get back to work.

You know, like, go home. Go about your day.
I'll just yell at.

I advise you to disperse before this gets ugly. Ooh, intimidation.
If someone throws a single rock, you die.

They don't know that. Shut up, children.

You just go, ah.

Yeah, make your intimidation check. Come on, you can do it.
I am going to do it. I know you can do it.
I got a punch. I think you can.
Elga gives Matita a thumbs up. Ooh.

It's a Hardy Vanian thumbs up.

19. Ooh.
That's really good. Let's see if they're moved by this.

It's the gender-neutral term instead of king and queen. I love it.
My liege. I love it.
I did the four-roll thing again. How'd you do? 11-1-3-9.

They're scared. Not very good.
Not very good.

Out of 4D20s, wow. Yeah, the mob seems to like take a pause and like look around a little bit.
You know, they know that they have way superior numbers on you, but this is

actually very intimidating. Yeah, I know.

Yeah.

And then

I'm not going to actually do any sort of attacks as much as I want to. But I am gonna do, I'm gonna use my unarmored defense.
No, not unarmored defense.

I'm gonna use my patient defense and spend a key point to take the dodge action. Okay.
It'd be really funny if they called your bluff. You go down in one minute.

That is why I'm using the patient defense. All right.
You're the patient, and this is the defense.

I assume that's it for you, Mateet. We.
Okay, Chip, you're up, then Elga, then the mob, then the Alchemist.

Are they done? Are they dispersing or are they still? They seem like

they're taking a moment to reassess this situation. Okay, then I'm going to use darkness and I'm going to center it kind of amongst the mob, but also encapsulate the three protesters.
Ooh.

Just to just make this like big. You can't see anything.
And I feel like this is kind of like a... I do it so quickly after Mate's threat that it almost seems like that's a part of it.

Yeah, like lights out. Yeah, so I do that.
So it's a you have a 60-foot range and you make a 15-foot radius sphere, which I believe covers them all.

The 20-foot radius thing did, yeah, the 15-foot radius will also cover the entire mob. Creature with dark vision can't see through this darkness.
Non-magical light can't illuminate it. Ooh.

Okay.

And then I'm going to move a little bit closer and then I'm also going to use

his singing voice.

I have this.

We're working to replace Micah's vocals. Yeah, yeah.
It's not good. If you need some vocals, just let us know.

We're here for you, bud. God, I have this thing.
Is it Thaumaturgy? Thaumaturgy. It's pronounced Thaumaturgy.
Thaumaturgy. Thaumaturgy.
Manifest a minor wonder.

Assign a supernatural power within range. Create one of the following magical effects.
I think your voice booms up to three times as loud

as normal for one minute. Oh, yeah, I can do that too.
I should have done that. So I don't know that you can do both darkness and thaumaturgy.
Is that not a bonus action?

They're both listed as actions i see

okay you got a loud voice anyway yeah i'm gonna use my loud voice i mean and regardless of the thaumaturgy i'll say like something very official sounding i'm gonna summon my

volunteer firefighter days you know like conducting the citizenry and just be like you know disperse immediately oh in a very intimidating way yeah

alarm alarm alarm that's definitely an intimidation check okay let me roll that uh It's a 15.

You have a plus 10 on that? I have a plus 10. Wow.
He's our charisma person. I'm going to...

I'm going to use my inspiration. Okay, go for it.

There you go. That's 22.
22. My rolls against it were 4, 10, 10, 15.
Not a good day for rolls over here. Nope.
Okay, yeah. You can't see what's happening as a result of that because it's dark.

There's just bumping into the sky. Even Chip can't see.
Yeah, dark vision does not work inside of it. I just guess I'd imagine if it was his spell.
I think I can see in it. Can you?

We keep talking about that, where I have the eyes that can see through magical darkness. Ooh.
Oh, right. If I put on my scarf.
You'll be very dapper.

Well, I have a scarf that's like, like, I don't need to see. I can hear.
Oh, right. But I don't have it equipped because I have to, like, attune it.
But is it a shadow shawl or whatever?

Astral sight. Astral sight, yeah.
It's part of your visage of the astral self.

so OP. You see, normally in darkness, both magical and non-magical, to a distance of 120 feet.
Yeah. Thank you, Michael, for finding that.

So could Mateed essentially communicate with us what's happening if they wanted to? Yeah. Mate, you see that the crowd does appear to be, you know, stepping back and dispersing a bit.

Thanks for the information, Mateed. It's not working.
I think you need to attack them.

Call it artillery.

Although, if it's dark, they're just going to shirt. Elga, just run in and start swinging.
Yeah, they're just going to start showing confusion.

She holds her fists out and spins and just starts swinging a Tasmanian devil into the thing. I love that.
Is that it for you, Chip? Yeah, I don't have any heels. Okay.

Elga, you're up, followed by the mob and the alchemist. Okay.
Elga, in a surprising turn of events, does not want to use violence in this situation.

Could she get up on that platform where Francesca was? It's in darkness currently. Okay.
It's in the magical darkness. Could she just try to get up high somewhere?

Yeah, there's like various barrels and boxes. You know, this is like a kind of like, it seems like a trade center.
Okay. So you could find like some boxes to climb up on it.

Yeah, she'll move to a box where like she could get above the people if possible. Yeah.
And then she wants to project in her loudest voice, People of Vania,

there is no need to fight.

It is me, Elda Von Breath.

I know you may have never seen me because I've never left the vampire.

But I am here to tell you, we must be peaceful.

There's no need for violence, especially towards my bird friends and purple friends. For they are very weak right now.

Oh no. Oh no.
Well, Gus, I think that's a triple advantage on that. Well, that's definitely an advantage on that for sure.

That's not intimidation, that's persuasion. Okay.
So you make it a persuasion check with advantage. What's your modifier for persuasion? Not great.
Plus one. That's not bad.

I'm going to use my inspiration die. The barbarians doesn't have a high persuasion mark.
Seven and a nine. Normally I think the axe does the persuading.

Okay, well I guess it's a nine is my highest roll. That tracks.
So I'm trying to think about this.

If you have advantage and you use an inspiration die, do you just re-roll one of the inspiration rolls? I'm sorry, do you just re-roll one of the advantage rolls or do you re-roll both of them?

Does the inspiration die cancel out the whole action roll? I'll just try to see what one more roll looks like. Let's see what one more looks like.
Ooh, 14.

It does.

Yeah. You can't see them, Elga.
Okay. You think you did a good job.
Okay. That's just Elga's confidence.
Yeah. Is that it for you, Elga? Yes.
All right. It's the mob's turn.

And you see them begin emerging from the darkness and like trying to blend in with the bystanders and leave the area and go about their regular business. Success.
Ha ha!

We'll never know who really truly convinced them.

The alchemist starts running up, trying to get closer to Francesca. I stop concentration on darkness so that once the darkness disperses,

he jumps into the bed. He's saying he just runs off the bridge.

Oh, yeah, he runs straight up to Francesca.

I'll say, everyone, I'll give you everyone the choice.

You can each have either an inspiration die or five temporary hit points.

I'll take the inspiration die. I'll take the info.
I need to have the inspiration die. I'll take the

hit point.

It's so desperately trying to give you guys HP.

I'm not joking. I'm taking it.

What happens if we already? I'm sure we've talked about it at some point. What happens if Mati dies? Because we're still dead.

You still go to saving throw. Yeah, death saves.
I watch the chip watches the alchemist and Francesca unite. Francesca.
And then he gets close to Mati and he's like,

I need a hug.

Be very careful with this hug. Don't squeeze too hard.

No promises. It's just like that kind of a hug where, like, yes, your arms are on each other, but there's like clearly a distance between the bodies.
So you're just kind of like tapping arms.

That's a gut hug.

That's how I live my life. Oh, I mean, that's what Mateed would go for, but

Chip would go in for like one of those deep, sobbing, heaving, you feel the moisture of my tears and snot collecting on your shoulder hugs. Come on, he needs this.
He needs this.

There, there.

This is one of my hugs.

Yeah, what do you all want to do? I guess at this point, you know, the protesters are there, the alchemist is up there with Francesca, and you guys are kind of standing in the

courtyard. So

should we get the coffee?

Want to go back shopping?

Yes, we should probably. What are you doing, yeah, Francesca and Hexel and Mummy? What are you doing? Mummy.

What are you doing? Mummy? I just like saying mummy. It was funny.
Obviously, Hexel, the mummy, Francesca, they all know you. Your timing could not have been more perfect.
Yeah, we know.

We each have our own motivations, our own reasons to be here, and we decided to unite our voices, try to effect change here, and to get to the bottom of this. What's the beef with Dracula?

Well, we've heard rumors about Dracula, and we have suspicions that Eddie may have been snuck into the vampire by Count Dracula. Oh.
Oh, we got canceled Count Dracula then.

Why would he want to smuggle Eddie in? And you know, of course, that Eddie has wronged all of us, and no doubt he is up to something again.

There have been rumors and sightings from locals that a stranger entered Vania less than a week ago, and they describe him as a person being sinewy, yet muscular, with green features, and laughs a lot.

That sounds like Eddie, uh, it fits the profile. There are also rumors that this stranger brought a gift, and suddenly the village was flush with gems.

And just like that, the sightings of the stranger went quiet. I mean, he did have the mold.

Oh,

smart. You have a resident of the vampire with you.
Perhaps you and your friends can infiltrate the vampire, find Count Dracula, and plead our case to him. Then we can find Eddie and take our revenge.

Distract. That sounds fair to me.
Elgo looks around and goes, Oh, right.

Yes.

I got a very important question for the three of you, okay?

One, two, three. Do you have any healing?

Potions?

Some special spells?

No, but that is a great point.

Before you enter the vampire, it would behoove you to look around in local shops to try and find some equipment and stock up.

Maybe find any rumors or word of mouth that may help you in your journey to the vampire. We'd also take payment for saving you because you were about to get dunked into that moat down there.

Just saying.

How much do volunteer firefighters make from the people who sponsor these voice?

What's going right now?

I'm a little emotionally unhinged right now.

This is all while Chip is still embracing Matea, just turning his head around to say all the same, bleeding profusely.

I like the idea too that Matina getting squeezed more and more, and their head is getting like blue. Yeah.

And don't forget that most residents in the vampspire are vampires. So it would behoove you, or most of you, to find some kind of disguise to blend in.
They really like that word, behoove. Behoove.

It's a good word to

be a good one. You should just turn Chip into a vampire.
What's the big deal? I'm trying.

What? What? What?

What led you to believe that the protesting would convince the people to uprise against Dracula?

We thought that once the people realize that Dracula imposes all these rules on them, that he does not follow himself, that they would want to rise up and bring about change to make things more equal.

Otherwise, let's go get you guys some cloaks.

Yeah, let's go. We should, we should head to the village and

we can find some supplies, we can find some information, and maybe take a nap or four.

It might be behoove the three of you to find a place to lie low because you've kind of

angered a lot of people. Yeah.

I like how Chris said it might be behoove.

When you hear a word, but you're not quite sure. I know what the word means.
I know what the word means. I just don't talk so good.

I only write good.

Right. The alchemist chimes in and says, if it's okay with you, I'll stay here with Francesca and make sure that she's okay.
Oh, yeah? You staying with your wife? That's nice. That must be nice.

That must feel good, huh? Huh, Alchemist. It does.
Yeah, I bet. But where's he? Go find.
Go somewhere not in the middle of town. Oh, yes, we're going.
If you need a hunt, I'll make you one.

No, no, we're good. This is good.
Then we can stop forgetting that he's with us.

Could Elga look at her cloak and see if there's like a tag on it of like where it's from? Other than your name written inside of it?

Yeah, you take a look at it, and there is no tag, but you know it's because that your clothing is made like bespoke within Vampspire specifically for you. Only the best.
Ezelka. And Nepo Baby.

What am I getting it? And I can't access my bank account.

Nepo baby. Daddy canceled my cards, okay?

Should we go to the mantle place or and get you that sash, or should we go try something like the Oldenwear place? We were about to go to Oldenwear.

I would say let's see what all we have available for purchase

and then decide from there. Okay.

The one thing I don't want is to buy like some stupid scarf and then find out like, this is the knife of

whatever. And it's like the perfect thing.
Knife of everyone dies. Yeah.
Before they leave, can I ask the

whatchamacallit? The protesters. Do y'all have any currency that we could use to prepare for this quest? No.
We came straight here as soon as we entered Fania to engage in our protest.

Name one of the protesters. It's the mummy.
It's... no, no, no.
He's talking to the protesters.

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

My brain was like, is Barney talking to the mob asking them for money? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I broke, I broke there. It's mummy, it's

Elise's character, and then Hexel, and then

Francesca.

Do we just call you Elise? No,

no, sorry, I didn't mean to do that. It's just how I connect sometimes, is remembering the voices because we don't get to hear the voices while we're performing.
Correct. It's always a nice surprise.

Yeah. I'd say Chip would like to go to the Wares store if they don't have anything else to offer.
I kind of tried to shake them down for money or anything and heels and they wouldn't budge. Let's go.

Everyone heads over to Alden Wares. Yeah.
You walk over and inside is a dusty shop with rows of glass cases housing rare trinkets and jewelry.

A sign at the counter reads in small red lettering, now selling gems. There's a gray-haired dwarf with golden eyes wearing a silk-gray suit standing there.
Welcome. I'm Duffy Alden.
Oh. Duffy?

Yeah, Duffy Alden. This is Alden Oyers.
It's my place. Is this due duty to keep our voices down, Duffy? Just making stuff between you and me, right? Oh,

or just to us. Yeah, just between us.
You, use and me.

Yeah. Yeah, we're you and me.

Duffy, what kind of stuff are you selling? Yeah, you know, gems. They're in stock.
Yeah. Gems or gems.

Yeah.

We're trying a real fine line not to go down that road. Is it gems or gems? Gems.
Gems. Gems.
Huh. Yeah.
Yep. anything right here he points at the sign g-e-m-s gems that's how i've always read it

any any weapons or any of these gems have uh to powers oh yeah you know it you know it uh here here here look we got uh some stuff on sale we got uh the ring of springtime here a necklace of neck saving and then full price not on sale we got the ring of animal influence ring of evasion ring of protection and a ring of resistance you have like a like a necklace of uh resurrecting wife dead wife anything like that

he looks at the his wares again no but i got some gems and he holds out like a handful of just like bulk gems in his hand when did you get those gems oh they're they're they're they're new they're a recent uh recent uh acquisition interesting uh you know maybe if uh you cross my palm with a little hp you can uh tell you where that came from how much hp i don't know what you got yeah how much we got i'm sorry i just had a moment where i realized that it's it's hp is health points but also it's uh

yeah it's the the curses.

Oh, that's a funny works both ways. What are they called again? Hemo points,

hemo pieces, yeah,

very close. It's funny because at first I thought you're like meta-ing it, but no, no, no, no, no, no, no, well, I think that's interesting.

Um, and let me ask you, how much is this uh was it a ring of neck saving? Necklace of neck saving. How much was this necklace? 75 HP.

Oh, it's and you see it. It's a it's very ornate.
It's a lavish necklace of ruby beads, each in the shape of a vital organ.

Because you spend a charge on this thing and put it on the neck of a creature that died in the last minute and cast Revivify. Oh, that's why it's expensive.

Could have used that about, you know, three episodes ago. Three episodes? No.
Why don't you guys just combine? But be warned, casting the spell comes at a great cost. Yeah, 75 HP.

What else do they have? You said you have some rings? A ring of springtime. That's on sale.

And then full price, you got a ring of animal influence, ring of evasion, ring of protection, ring of resistance. I have gems.
He holds up two handfuls of gems now.

I find this interesting that your economy seems to be based around these HP things, but you also took gems as a payment. Is that something we could figure out here? You can give me HP for gems.

I'm asking about, do you, is since gems clearly are valuable, would I be able to provide you a gem in order to exchange some currency?

You can exchange currency at the vlog bomb okay i guess he was just going he's a pretty ball aren't gems pretty is that all they are too why are they if

i feel like this if

they're so sparkly oh god gus

i think he's saying no i keep staring at them i have one right here would you like this one oh he's but then he looks he's got like i said he has two handfuls of gems

he gets distracted looking at his own hands where did you get all those gems give me a few hp and i'll let you know oh my good lord uh i give him

it's a long line between John and Blake. To get some information.
Start lower, start lower. I give him just fuck him one HP.

You give him two HP. He's like, much obliged.
You see, a few counts from the Vampire came in here in the last few days with some rare gems I've never seen before.

Rumor is they've got a wand that creates gems out of nothing. Was one of those counts count fun breath? I don't can't say.
I don't think so. Okay.
What's like the standing of a count in this place?

Is this they're like like government officials or what? Oh, very very high in the in the order of things very well to do.

But this is odds. This is oh, this is too rich for my blood.
What does the what does this the ring of springtime do?

And you look at it and it's it's a ring crafted from ignis glass and looks like it has like running like little red rivelets throughout it. See this?

You put this on and it can transform your body into a mature adult in their prime. Barbara's face.

Oh

So, metagame-wise, you have to use an action to activate it. Okay.
And now, while it's active, you have advantage on all ability checks, skill checks, and saving throws, but not attacks.

Could you, is it just like a one-time use thing? Can you be used once per long rest? Does it work both ways? I was gonna say, I'm sure it does. Like, it ages him down? Yeah, yeah.

Barney, I think that actually sounds pretty good for you. I think it sounds pretty good for you, too, Elga.
I mean,

what are you guys going to pay with it for? Yeah, how much is it? Oh, that's only 50 HP. Hmm.

What are the other items that they have for sale? The Ring of Animal Influence, the Ring of Evasion, Ring of Protection, and Ring of Resistance. And like, what is it?

And of course, the necklace of Mexico. Those probably all cast those spells.
Yeah, but I don't know what those spells do, John. Hold on, let me load them all up and I'll tell you.

Do these require tune myths? Some of them do. The Ring of Springtime does.

The Ring of Animal Influence, while wearing this ring, you can use an action to expend a charge to cast animal friendship, fear, or speak with animals. Ring of Evasion has three charges.

When you fail a dexterity saving throw while wearing it, you can use your reaction to expend one charge to succeed on that throw instead.

Ring of protection, you get plus one bonus to armor class and saving throws while wearing the ring. And a ring of resistance, you get resistance to one damage type while wearing the ring.

Which ones require a tunement? The ring of springtime, the ring of evasion, the ring of protection, and the ring of resistance. How much far is the ring of protection? Oh,

I let that go for 100 HP. You're crazy.
No, I'm a businessman. Could I put the ring of springtime on hold? Yeah, what kind of down payment you got?

Oh, I was just going to go swing by the bank. Oh, okay, okay, yeah.
I'll be right here. Yeah, yeah.
Can I try something? No.

I don't know if I could do this simultaneously just to like speed it up. Could I go to the bank and then or bonk? Yeah.

Why don't you go ahead and like do that, roll your damage, and then give us a summary while I deal with Chris here. Okay.
And we can role play that on the side as soon as I'm done here.

I wanted to cast fast friends on this guy. There's alarms are going to go off.
So fast friends, you cast a spell, choose one humanoid within range. So it's a humanoid target.

I got to double check and make sure Alden qualifies as that. Green dwarf, isn't he? Yeah, yeah.
Grey dwarf. All right.
Okay, so you just make him friendly up to you for up to an hour.

Yeah, and it's when you need to make sure something gets done, you can't rely on vague promises, sworn oaths, or binding parts. You cast a spell, choose one humanoid within range.

You can see and hear you. and that can understand you.
Creature must succeed on a wisdom-saving throw or become charmed by you for the duration.

While the creature is charmed in this way, it undertakes to perform any service or activities you ask in a friendly manner to the best of its ability. Okay, Barney's gonna rob this guy.

Wisdom saving throw. And uh, I think an important thing is at the bottom: when the spell ends, the creature knows it was charmed by you.
Yep,

okay, so yeah, I guess we make this wisdom saving throw. Okay, it's a DC 17 wisdom saving throw.

Rolling

rolling. You oh,

I rolled a one.

I rolled a one. This has not been a good day.
We're about to rock a good day for me.

So you cast fast friends on him.

Listen, my friend. I.

Yeah, friends. Yeah, friend.
I mean, we're.

How are you doing? How's the family? It's so good. And it's great to see you.
And it's like

we're in this place with vampires. And

why not? Why can't we just, you know, deal with things on like

a non-blood manner, you know?

So, here, let me give you, let me give you, I'd happily give you some trades and

gold for

well, I got, I got gold, and I got here.

Have you seen the,

I got this, what a scarf of the cyclist? Wow,

what about that? And he points at your hide-and-seek doll. Well, I could happily let that go.
Oh, I'll give you, uh, we can make a little trade, huh? I'll give you 10 HP for that.

Uh, I was looking more for that spring ring. Oh, are you crazy?

That's not a friendly thing to say. That's not very friendly.
That's not very,

you're crazy guy. Yeah, but you know, for someone first, for me, you know, if you want, if you want to trade that clothing, you can go over to Marin.

He'll maybe trade you for some clothing.

Who? Marin? For Marin's mantelery? The third person.

Oh.

I guess what do I need to get that ring? The spring ring. 50 HP.
50. No, but like.

And I just real fast, I do think Elga has it on hold, and Elga just finished up her damage rolls, I believe. So do they only have one? Yes.
Elga went to the Vlodbonk. How'd that go? How'd that go?

Yeah. So

I got the 50 HP. I actually got 53.

Or 50. Yeah,

53. How are you feeling? Not so great.

Probably better than us, though. I use my ass as a scarab, and I just kind of let it go back and forth and back and forth, spicing me up.

Does it give you a new appreciation when you attack people a little bit

all right we'll say here in a in uh a little while elgo will finish and come back but for now uh it's still you haggling barney yeah i guess there's like are there two of them because i wouldn't have cast this if there no there's only one it wasn't rings of the springtime it's ring of springtime well i i out of gaming i i wouldn't

like i started casting this i mean i did say i'm putting the ring on yeah going to go get the blood for it

or hp for it yeah and i i didn't know that's what you were going after you didn't say like that from the beginning is there anything else you want to

go anywhere friend uh we can trade i'll give you i'll take that uh i'll take that guardian emblem from you too for what uh 15 hp well i i'm i'm curious about the extent of this spell like in terms of like if he's supposed to do stuff that like any any of my wish like wishes and stuff would he not then trade for something other than the blood well it undertakes to perform any service or activity you ask of it in a friendly manner to the best of its ability the problem is that in this town of Vania, precious metals are worthless.

Like, he's trying to meet you in the middle here by making these trades. Like, I think the Nintendo spell isn't like you rob someone blind.

It's like they're more pliable and willing to try to figure things out with you. Yeah, and I'm not trying to rob them.
I'm just trying to.

But then, like, gold and platinum, like, that's like giving him a rock. You know, he can't do anything with that here in Vania.
Okay, well, then, what does he need to what?

I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what, Heinstein doll and guardian emblem just because we're friends instead of 25 HP, I'll give you 40 HP for the two.

I take that deal. It's pretty good.
Actually at this point Elga walks back in.

Elga seems a little more pale than normal. Yeah.

Gotta do what you gotta do. My father will tell her about this.

She just lunges that chip and takes his last HP.

Wondering of springtime, sir.

Oh, yes, yes, yes. The lady will be wearing it out.
Thank you very much. Could you cut the tag off?

Not to wear it out. He opens up the glass case and pulls it out.
50 HP. Okay, here you go.
Yeah, there you go. And metagame-wise, if you look, you should be able to add it to your inventory.

Ring of Springtime. Okay.
You know, if you have to lose something that, you know, wasn't tuned to you, you know, that fang frost is pretty nice. Just saying, I all got it.

That's a very interesting perspective. I bet you she could could get a lot of HP for it.
What does he have that doesn't require attunement?

The necklace of neck saving, the ring of animal influence, and that's it. All right.
I'll trade for the how much? Blood points? 40. Okay.

HP. Not blood.
Nemo pieces. We should have just dragged the goblin's butt here.

Just go ahead and take the hide-and-seek doll and the guardian emblem out of your inventory, and you can't give you 40 HP for that. Okay.
That's just endless money. Shopping spree.

Okay.

Are we done here? I am.

Yeah.

Uh, so we've been to the vineyard, the mantle place,

oldenware.

What's left, Gus? Two places? We have the lows hanging fruit. Lowe's hanging fruit, and so I mentioned this in second wind, and we might have to do some pickups for it.

I kept saying vineyard, it should be vainyard. Vayneyard.
That makes more sense.

Yeah. It's like when you see like a word that's close to a word you're used to, like my brain was just kind of broken.
I think I was saying vineyard the whole time.

Anyway, there was the vlodbunk, which you you went to oh okay so is it just the low hanging fruit lows hanging fruit oldenwares uh marin's mantlery and uh vanyard valhara let's go to low hanging fruit and see what's there could i can i say something to elga yeah go for it elga i'd like to apologize for for what

this ring of uh that would take you back take to the prime of your life the spring ring i i saw that and i thought how great it it would be whenever I finally confront the creature that took my family from me for them to see me as I once was

and

as I should have been whenever I and for me to want to have

for me to want to have taken

to witch back

my my youth when it was robbed from you when I wasted away mine it's just I'm sorry I think I accept your apology.

But I'm not quite sure.

It's okay. Thank you, Barney.
Yeah, let's go to Lowe's. I will drain you last.

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It's just,

Elka has a list that she's constantly like crossing out and realigning everything like that. Every day.
It's a constant realignment. But Matit always is not even on the list.
Not even on the list, no.

It's just Marty and Chip swapping back and forth. Oh, so that means you're going to drain Chip first.

Chip's just looking through the shop window waving, just smiling, waving. He doesn't have much blood left.

I've already tasted it.

So you head over to the shop that has a sign that says Lowe's hanging fruit. Inside is a moist, sweet-smelling greenhouse made of black glass.

Hanging from the ceiling are trees, upside-down trees, bearing various fruits.

And inside, you see a male orc with red eyes, calloused hands, wearing overalls, who seems to be pruning some of the trees. Bonjour!

Bonjour.

You speak Parish? Parish. Uh, no, I don't.
Oh. I think you just copied these.
Oh, okay.

Code switching.

Hello, we are here to see what you're wear. So we are new in town and we'd love to know what you sell.
It seems you have some sorts of interesting agricultural things happening here. Here.
Yeah, yeah.

I have some seasonal hanging fruit for sale. Could I interest you in some? I have vlod orange, glareberry, and more tap.
I wonder, is it like vlod the impaler? Like a blood orange. Yeah, but like

Vlod, yeah. What is that? That's what a Dracula is based off of.
And are you named Lowe's? What's your name? Name. Low.
Yeah. Low.
Hey, Lo. Got it, Jipany.
Pleasure to meet you. Hi, Lo.

Hey, Lo. Hey, hey, Lo.

What are the effects of these tier three fruits, these hanging fruits? Fruits. The Vlod Orange grants the effects of false death for one minute.

What if you seek real death, you know?

It's dark. But every orifice orifice on your body loses scarlet juice for the duration.
Oh. This glary berry metagame gives you advantage on perception intimidation checks,

but you can't blink for the duration. They're my favorite judge on the British pay-off.
And then you're blinded for one minute. Oh.
Because your eyes need to rest.

And finally, this morked apple gives you the effects of feigned death, but only for five minutes.

So one's feigned death, the other one is false death. They're specific DD spells, so they have different abilities.
If you want, I can go over them or you can read them.

How much are you charging for your fruits? Fruits. Five HP each.
I'm sorry. I can't have to cause that.
You keep repeating when we say fruits. Do you sell something other than fruits here? Here.

No, no, no, just fruits. Is this town full of sketchy people? I'm not quite sure.

Shop owner seems to have a squirk to them.

Okay, I didn't mean to interrupt your transaction if you're trying to figure out something. Well, technically, I only have three left, so I can.

I can donate to coin to HP. What was the one that you said? I've been donating blood this entire campaign.

Gives you advantage on it. Was it strength and perception? Perception and intimidation checks.
It's the glary berry. You get blinded, though.
It's a pretty bad trade-off. For one minute after.

After, for once, yeah, once you're done. I'd like to buy one of those.
How much? It was five.

I have three left.

I'll chip. Elga, two.
You'll chip. Yeah, yeah.

I miss my wife. Chip, your kindness will not be forgotten.
I will put you now second on my list. Uh-oh.

All right, the rankings got updated.

It's just a dead pool.

That first one, the feigned death one? The Vlad Orange? Yeah, yeah. That's one minute appears like dead, right?

False death. False death.
And you ooze red. False death or feign death.
False death. Mort apple is feigned death.
Okay, and then you ooze red and stuff. It's for one minute at the last, right?

Correct. Is it anyone who eats the berry, or do you like, like, I guess what I'm saying in theory, could you give it to someone with them not realizing it, and then they fall dead and appear dead?

Well, that's up to you. But, okay, so it's interesting.
Orange. An orange.

So you go to a little kid's soccer game, you see? And they're passing out the orange slices. Slip one of those little boogers, one of these.
Puts them right to sleep.

For how many, how many? Five for all the fruits? Or just that, the berry? Berry. Yeah, five for all.

I suppose I'll take that one, the blood orange. You have money left over? I didn't spend anything.
Oh, you did it, you just exchanged. You're right.

Yeah, 40 blood coin.

Oh, you know what? I'm not gonna do it. Never mind.
Sorry. That's the uh decisive leadership of Barney Farnham.
No, no, I just realized I can do that spell, so I don't need it. Oh, gotcha.

I have a question for uh low.

Lo. Get low.
Lo. Look,

what can you tell us?

We're new in town. We're very interested in Monsieur Dracula

and wonder if you know anything about these outrageous rumors about him breaking the oath of Vamspire. Vampspeier?

Yeah, there's protesters in town, right? Yes. Yes, troublemakers, stirring up trouble for no reason.
I would agree.

Just so I understand why do you why would you think that there's no way that this could be something that he would be doing? Doing? Count Dracula's an upstanding beacon of righteousness for us all.

Oh, and have you had direct interaction with any of these counts of the area? Area. Sometimes they'll send some of their battlers here to purchase some

fruit. That's so good.
Even if they, even if he did break his oath, who cares, right?

Like, would you care? I mean, does it even matter? Matter? Yes, of course. The vows of Aenium matter quite a bit.
So you would be upset if you found out they were true. True.

Yeah, but that's impossible. Yeah, of course.
Well, it seems like it was a bit of an echo. Echo.
Echo. Echo.

Echo. Echo.
I'm missing something.

He's just repeating the last word that everyone is saying.

It's just funny. I was trying to think of something to make you say it.

I was focused on

discovery.

Lo,

breakers of the vow say what? What? No.

Oh, we're going to report you. Uh-oh.
Give yourself an inspiration, but I don't have one. That's funny.

So good.

Well, Lo,

this has been wonderful, but I have nothing else to get from you.

You, are you sure you don't have some HP you want to exchange for some

information? You got information? Information? Would you give it to us for free? Free? Yeah, okay, we'll take it. No.
Oh, oh, okay.

No.

I tossed Low two

HP.

He deftly picks it out of the air and pockets it and looks around, you know, with his red eyes and kind of like leans in.

You know, there's reports coming from Carcassouk and Glerb about earth tremors and water sources drying up. And I'll give you a little extra because your friend here purchased some fruit.

You know, most folks know vampires only drink blood, but there's some whispers about vampires thirst for other things. Things that you can't even see.

Like what?

What? I don't know. People coming in and out of the spired? Like, what's the

typically, how do they get in and out? And, you know.

No, the bridge, of course. Any other ways? Like,

the battlers, do they ever

fly in or anything? Anything. Typically, they walk in here.
Yeah, but they don't ever fly in because they're battlers. Battlers?

No? No? Okay. I like to think that when writing these NPCs, Mike could just put this NPC repeats the last word of anybody.
100%. That's what's in the modules.

Low, I think we're going to go unless you got anything else to say. But it's been a pleasure talking to you.
Yeah, okay.

See you next time.

I'm gonna head to Marin's. What it says is Lowe involuntarily repeats the last word you say before responding.
That's so good. Cute.
I love that. A funny gimmick.

Okay, so we have visited Aussie establishments, and I feel like you might want to go back to the mantle place and get some of the things. I love Marin.
I just miss Marin, you know.

I haven't seen a tiefling in so, so long. And we need disguises.
That's true. Oh, yeah, they did say that we should blend in, and by we, I mean only you guys.

I'm gonna head to Marin's.

Okay, yeah, what is the observationally the aesthetic of all the

mostly vampires, right? Yeah, so is it like cloaks and like I don't know, like traditional vampire?

Well, yeah. Wait, I'm sorry, I don't understand the question.

Okay, in Marin's mantles, what's the aesthetic? Does everything feel like it looks like it would be the typical garb of a vampire? Got you, yeah.

I'll reread the description that we said last episode, because I think that'll answer your question.

Inside, Inside, the smell of fresh linens wafting from racks of cloaks, capes, scarves, mantles, and robes.

And you see the male pre-pubescent tiefling with adorable dimples wearing a violet cashmere shawl that occasionally shimmers to a pastel turquoise.

So yeah, lots of cloaks, tapes, mantles, robes, things of that nature. And that would be disguise, essentially.
Could be. Marin, Chip's back.
Hey. Hey, Chip.
Marin's happy to see you.

I do the tiefling handshake thing. Oh, yeah.
Okay, so you had a cool scarf that seemed to do some sort of a smoky thing. What's it called again? That was called the vapors, the sash of

shadows. Shadows.
The sash of shadows. Shadows of Sasha.
There it is. The barber remembered.
Oh, yes, yes, yes. Shadow sash.
Are you interested in that? 50 HP.

Remind me really quick what else you got, because we're interested in like looking like locals. You know, we're at from out of town.
We want to fit in. We don't want to look like a bunch of tourists.

We We got the neckerchief, which is also on sale. And what does that do? You look at it, and it's a velvet white neckerchief, redolent of a crackling fireplace.

A metagame where you take damage, you can use your reaction to reduce the damage by spending hit die. You may spend and roll up to three of your hit die and your constitution modifier to each.

You can use this feature once per short rest. How much was that one? Marin charges 50 HP for that.
Meow, I see you have all these very magical

items. Do you have any mundane items that will be of more cheaper scales that still make us look like part of the local? Oh, of course.
Marin's got you covered. That's my say.
I've heard of it.

That's good. Whatever you want, cape, cloak, anything mundane.
Marin can get that for you real quick.

You know, I, you know, I saw one of the counts traveling around here recently, and I loved how they look. Do you have something that would make us look like we a little bit like them? Oh, absolutely.

Marin caters to all of the counts. All of the fine merchandise here in Vania, Marin can get for you.
How much for, let's say, like three sets of that? Marin can do that for three HP. One HP each.

Oh, there you go. Then I toss him an HP for mine.
All right. That's a clue for you guys to also do that.
I think they're all reading.

We might. I was going to use Shadow Sash.
Oh, I'm saying for like a disguise. I was going to ask,

Marin, do you think if I got this here Shadow Sash, would this help me kind of like blend in with the locals meta game perspective? Is this a sufficient enough disguise? Sure, we'll say, why not?

Just because if you're spending 50 HP on it, sure. Okay, Marin will do you a solid.
Marin will throw in a local cloak free of charge. Marin, you're the guy.
It's the thiefling hookup. Damn, I love it.

Just because we did the thiefling handshake. That's the one.
Which one are you going to be buying? Shadow Sash. Okay, can I get the necrochief? Absolutely.
Marin's happy to sell.

50 HP for the Shadow Sash and 50 HP for the Necrochief. I think I'm short.
How much? Marin thinks you look very tall.

Marin, you do not, Marin!

I think I'm like missing one in HP. I give you one.
Okay. You know, Marin, I also got a...
I got something that you might be interested in. What's that? Robe of Serpents.

You want to buy something like that? Hmm. Marin could do a little trade.
All right.

It's a thiefling hookup. Marin can do 20 HP for that.
Okay. That's a deal.
Don't think I have like 19 HP now.

Oh, okay.

And I'm going to remove that, and I'm going to add Shadow Sash. Okay, I have 20 left.
There's no reason for me to hold on to these. I might need like a few.
For what? For a Kate thing.

Are these all 50? The Necrochef and Shadow Shadow Sash are 50. The other ones are...
No, because they're on sale. The other ones are full price.

Marin has not talked about pricing on the other ones yet. Mate looks at Barney and goes, I see you still have blood.

You still have plenty of HP to play with.

So how much were those? Which one can Marin interest you in? Cape of Mont. I mean, I was just Cape of Mont Blank Mantle Spell Resistance and Rogue.
Probably not Rogue's Mantle.

The Cape of the the Mont Bunk? That'll be 100 HP. And the Mantle of Spell Resistance.
Marin will do 100 HP for that as well.

I'll just get a regular cloak. And can I just buy one of those other mundane items at the other store? The, like, animal one or something like that.
Animal one?

One of the ones that didn't require attunement. One of those.
Oh, like, well, yeah, yeah. One of the other items you saw before.
Yeah, yeah, absolutely.

Just, I just want to backtrack through it, but I'll just get a regular one. Oh, you want to just knock it out right now? Yeah, yeah.
Which one were you interested in? There is the animal one.

The ring of animal influence? Is that the one you want? Yeah, I'll do the animal one. Alright, that's 100 HP.
Oh, never mind.

Yeah, I was like, I don't know where Barney's going, where Chris is going with this. I don't know what I can do with this.
You got plenty of blood, right? You can bleed. I mean, you have 40, right?

From that trade, and then you still have full health. Yeah, but I don't think Barney wants to do that.
Yeah. Marin can maybe unload something for you there.
And what are you interested in?

He kind of rummages through your bag and pulls out your scarf of the sightless. Marin's very interested in this.
How much? Since you're a friend of Chip, Marin will hook you up and do 15 HP. Hey!

15 HP, but I don't know what I could buy with that. What was available for 50? I'm sorry, it's hard to keep track of the...
450. Yeah, because I would have 55 at that point.
Gotcha. The fruit, Varney?

The fruit. Yeah, I think everything at this point is 75 or 100.
Which one's 75? The necklace of neck saving. But it's kind of deep price.
Do you want another cloak?

Is there another thing you could use? Who are you asking? I'm asking Chip because he has like all those rogue stuff. No, Shadow Sash is enough.
Because I don't think I'd be able to put a cloak on.

I'll tell you a cloak. Yeah, hat on a hat.
I already have something else. The three fruit were what? Really quick? They are

Vlod Orange, Glaryberry, and Mort Apple. I took the Glaryberry, although I'm sure there's

plenty. All right.
Somebody don't backtrack. Give me two Mort Apples.
Mort apples. Two of them.
Yeah.

I'll

not sell my cloak and then just grab

the with my 40 gold, the

HP. 40 HP.
I guess. How many fruits will that get me? Eight.
Yeah, I'll take uh two of each of them and uh the keep the extra ten for bribing. Good idea.
All right. I'm done.
I'm done.

And I just got a regular cloak cloak too.

I'm Elga.

Bonjour.

All right. We are done shopping.
We all have our disguises. We? Yeah.
Yes. Marin.

Chip and the crew are going to take off. Pleasure to see you there, pal.
Anytime, Chip, come on back and see old Marin.

Okay.

I throw my sash and go.

I like to imagine you walk with more like pep in your step now.

Yeah. Yeah.
More hip shaking. Which is hard to do with considering how you already power walks.

Should we try to make our way into the vamp spire? Let's do that.

Oh,

no.

Yeah, we should rest. We should rest.
Oh, so tired. I'm not about to say it.
I'm so tired. Oh, it's been a day.

You guys ready to initiate the bottom?

It's important that we press on.

Elga, you know a great place to rest up. Don't say the vampire.
Yeah.

You got a room there and everything. Ah!

You guys could crash in my pad. Nice.

Yeah.

I'm sure it won't be an issue at all, and we'll be able to go right to sleep when we get there. No questions.
I'm sure the moment we meet your papa, that everything's going to go smoothly.

No one in our party is going to have any issues with him. And everything's going to go great.
We're going to take take a big old team nap. He's probably at work right now, right? Uh, yeah.

Is there like an inn or anything like that not in the vampire? Like anything that we could sleep in not in there? There's no inn, there's no place that advertises lodgings.

Who the vampspire is? Barney, set up the tent. Set up the hut.

I can.

Should we hut? I don't know if we'll be able to. Yeah, what's our timeline like? Well, that's up to you guys.

I was writing in the Mortaboo. Why can't we go into

your family's house? I think we can. Let's go do that.
That's our time.

I would love to see where you are, where what made you. All I'm saying is, every time we've

entered a city, we've had an encounter. What's the worst that could happen? We die.

I've done that before. It's not that bad.

Let's go. It's almost the closer you get to death, the more drunk you get.

I am Parisian, okay? Sorry, Olga. What are you doing? Please put your oxygen mask on before.

Okay, so I guess we just crossed the bridge. Do we need

pseudonyms?

Uh, no. For in disguise.
Oh. Like, are we doing a disguise? Yeah, you can be vampire Barney and you're vampire Matid and you're a vampire chip.
Bah!

I wanna suck your blood!

Is that good? That's very inappropriate.

We don't outright tell people we want to suck their blood.

Don't gay. Yeah, that's why Barney has a a problem with it.
They're so sneaky about it. What is your marching order walking up to the vampire? Me first.
I'll be right behind her.

I'll go next. Oh, yeah, I'll be behind Barney.
Chip bringing up the rear. Yeah.
Okay, so Elgo Matid, Barney, Chip. You begin walking back towards the vampspire.

You know, it's where the protesters were and where you encountered that mob earlier. And there's, like I said, there's a black stone bridge that sits over a moat of blood.

And there's a large open arched entrance into the tower. And it appears to be flanked on either side by Ignis stone vat gargoyles.

Ignis stone. Black gargoyles.
Black gargoyles. Ignis stone is like the stone of this mountain.
So that same black stone we saw on our way in. Correct.

And it appears that the bridge is probably made of the same thing. Beautiful.
So homey. Wow.
I like this a lot, actually.

Okay, onwards and upwards. Yeah, as you walk through Elga, you see that there are also two Sferatu in an antechamber right there behind the gargoyles.
And it seems like that's an antechamber?

A little antechamber?

How does that look? So it's like you walk up

on the bridge and there's like a little alcove behind the gargoyles and that's where the two Sferatu are before you like really enter the main part of the garbage fire. A room before a room, correct?

Gotcha. Okay, gotcha.
And it seems like they're concentrating on something. Hello? I'm home.

They don't seem to pay you any mind. What are you guys doing? What are you looking at? Could I follow their line of vision? Yeah, make me an Arcana check.
Uh-oh. 14.

It seems like they're concentrating on maintaining a spell. Oh, no.
Some kind of warding spell. Am I going to have to turn into a dinosaur again?

What kind of spell are you doing?

You somehow sound more Minnesota. I have.

They don't seem to reply. Can I see what they're looking at at least?

They're looking at each other. They're like on opposite sides of the antechamber.
But they are an entryway barrier, is what they are.

And it's the entry for the spire? For the vampspire. Vampire and their.

Not the black. The black obsidian gargoyles or.
No, these are ferroxes inside the antechamber. I don't know how we're going.

Team.

I think that these are going to be checking via a spell, but we are. Yeah.
they have like a staring contest going on that was gonna out us. I have an idea.
Oh, no. I also have an idea.

I want to hear Elka.

Unless Barney, I doubt our idea is the same one, but what is your idea? Say them at the same time in three. One, two, three.
No, no, no.

I can shape stone.

And I touch a stone object, medium size, smaller, and can shape the dimensions and format in any shoot, any shape that I want. So I could just

basically make our own way in and avoid the as in make of doors somewhere else in the building. There's a moat around this whole place.
Correct. We are entering via the only bridge.

We can't cross a moat. We can all everyone can fly.

Everyone.

This is not true. Anyway,

go ahead. Could I jump onto one of the Sferatus and give him a hug?

I was gone for so long.

It's so good to be home.

Yeah, um, make him.

I love it. Let's make a strength check.
Yeah. Yes.
I have a follow-up on this. I'm going to let her resolve that.
I hope this cooks. 16.
There's something to do.

And then I'm going to make the Sferatu make a concentration check. Good call.

17. Darn it.
Yeah, the Sferatu, you know, doesn't shove you off or anything, but doesn't, you know, warmly return your

hug and your embrace. It still seems to be maintaining whatever concentration it is that he has.
My father will be very upset to hear that you guys did not acknowledge me getting home.

Your father will be very upset if we do not do our duty. But what will he be more upset about? The duty.

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You look hungry. Do you want a fruit?

The Sferatu does not acknowledge you. I got a lad orange.

The Seratu looks at you and then, you know, narrows its eyes. We do not need to eat.
Yeah, but you don't need to, but it's certainly tasty.

There's lots of things you don't need to do in life that you do for the pleasure of fruit. We do not eat fruit.

It's always worse in parties.

Good morning.

Do you want to maybe ask if you could come in and see what happens?

I think if you walk through, it's gonna be fine. It's fine, but yeah, I wonder, like, if um miss sirs, is it okay if I bring my friends up? Um, we are going to I was gonna show them my room.

As long as they have been invited by Count Dracula or delivered their password. Oh,

oh, could you I've been away for so long. Could you remind me what the password is? Just whisper it to her.
Cannot do that.

Okay, the password is can't do that.

can i can wait we could figure this out wait can i ask i have a question to helga

no that's

it only uh living creatures that can't pass through no i think you just have to be invited but like if we are dead for all intents and purposes i don't know if it has anything to do with she's not dead she's undead no but like

i guess that we got these fruit that make you literally like you are dead not mine i have three i have them so i was like could we just like could could we get in it and you carry us in on like a wag yeah like a like if I'm like I'm bringing in a corpse yeah yeah I think it well yeah

yeah yeah sorry

but I feel like it's it's more like in a in a world where there's like dead undead and living combined I feel like these guys are just screening for people that may or may not trespass into the world have been invited do you think any of the shopkeepers would have had the password were any of the people that we talked to in the shops were they vampires you said a lot of people in the area were vampires but we never asked about any of the shopkeepers make a wisdom check i i have perfect recollection of things i see yeah but you have to interpret what it is that you saw did i see fangs no i have an idea i didn't see fangs no okay and what am i made what check was it again just so i can run it uh wisdom oh sure why not let's just see what mr i don't know what the password i have an idea 19.

no you don't believe any of the shopkeepers you encountered were vampires

i'm gonna pull out the cartiste aya the the yonder letters and i'm just gonna write what's the password to vania the secret password to Vania. Oh, that's a good idea.

Okay, so I think we've been thinking that the wrong person's been writing these notes to us.

This could be a total shot in the dark, but we're just gonna see how it goes. And just so I'm clear, where are you doing this?

Are you still doing this in the antechamber up there by the gargoyles and the Sferatu, or do you walk away from the vampire? Chip's a stealthy wall. Chip is one stealthy dude.

He's gonna kind of just like wander back maybe over to the drawbridge and just kind of yell, you know.

You know, you know, kids, these days at school, and they're texting under their desks, and it's kind of out of sight from the teacher and they get by thinking because oh, they're so stealthy.

Okay, so you're at the other side of the moat, like away from the vampspire, back kind of where the protesters were. Sure, yeah, I kind of wander back over that.

I think, I think you should do that in case there's like alarms. Yeah, yeah.
So you send off the cart to say, oh, yeah,

and you feel a tapping on your shoulder.

I look at the tapping. You turn around and the alchemist is standing there.
He says, I don't know.

Yeah, it's the alchemist because he's the one who's been sending the messages. What do you need the password for? We gotta get into the darks.
The spire- the tampon

the tamspire or whatever. Yep.
Right, right. Tampon spire.
We gotta get in there to talk to Dracul. Juno, do you know a better way to get in there?

Just because it's a long thing that's in the volt's blood, does not make it a tampon.

Barbara trying to take a drink out of her. I have to make the joke.
I have to make it. That's a good one.
Well, it would seem to me that perhaps the password can be perceived or overheard somehow.

Perhaps there's an alternate way to get into the vampspire. We can use our rogue.
This is your moment. This is your moment.
That's what I was trying to do, but yeah, okay, right. This is your moment.

You just need to hide in the antechamber and listen for someone else to enter. Gus,

I hide.

Sorry, like you said, I hide. I hide.

That's that should work, right? I don't know.

It's a plan. Okay,

you're very sneaky. I'll whistle for the gang.

And I have them huddle up around me near the alchemist. Okay, what are you doing? I think I'm going to try to hide.

Maybe I can kind of linger off the drawbridge and then try to overhear the password as someone else passes through. That is a fantastic idea.
Yeah. You came up with that all on your own, didn't you?

Yeah.

So proud of you. Thank you.
I think it's a great. While you do that, we'll go take a rest.

We won't.

I don't know.

It's worth a try.

And also,

don't you have. I have a jar of the baboon.
Oh, wait, do I still have that? I can't tell you. I think I used it.
I thought you used it.

I think I had two climbing potions, and I used one, but I don't know if I used the other. You just need to be able to hide, though.
Yeah. So go do that.

Yeah, I'm going to hide under the drawbridge and try to listen in to see. Under it.
Yeah. Okay.
So you're from the far side of the drawbridge or bridge.

You're going to get under it, climb across across the bridge and then listen from down there just to try to figure out what the password is yeah and they're just going to hide that can i can can i give them a scroll of guidance so that uh cast guidance on yeah so are you going to cast guidance on him or give him a scroll of guidance

yeah it just casts guidance on him there you go okay yeah and what does that do d4 spell yeah it's just a you roll a d4 for it's like additional for an ability check is it one time or how long does it last uh i think it's just a one-time use thing uh yeah you touch one willing creature once before the spell ends target can roll a d4 and add the number.

Roll to one ability check of its choice. It can roll the die before after making the ability check.
Spell then ends. Oh, useful.
How do you touch him? I go in for

we can do this.

Okay, I accept. Okay, first of all, I'll say make um let's call it an athletics check to have you scamper around under the uh under the bridge.
Okay, excited. I'm here to watch.

And use my inspiration to yeah.

That is a 13. 13? No, it might be better.

Yes. Sometimes it's just a 10.
13. Yeah.
This isn't like the stealth check. This is just to see if you're able to.
Kip you fall into the blood and die. To crawl around.
Yeah, it's not easy.

It's very smooth on the bottom of the bridge, but you're able to make your way to the far side. Okay.
And

make a stealth check. Oh, yeah.
I know how to do these. I'll give you advantage because you're also under the bridge, like out of sight.

I'm going to get an advantage, but I'll take super advantage if you want. Nah, we're going to get it.
No, I mean, I could, I'll, you know, hey, just give it to me.

Because, you know, those rules might not have been that good. You rolled bad.
What'd you get? A 10 and 11. Hmm.
You don't have any like items or anything to help you out with that?

You have a plus eight. How'd you end up with a 10 and 11? Roll a two and a three.

A little out of my element.

I think I have some sort of reaction. Use your guidance.
Oh, yeah.

This is exactly what it's for.

Rolls. Roll a D4 and get it.
That's

plus one. So 12.
Woo!

Remember when I said this is our rogue's moment?

I remember those words. It's my moment.

you're uh hanging under the bridge and uh after several minutes you hear uh footsteps approach okay

make a perception check

you gotta hear it you gotta hear it here's my moment that's a tree

I'm gonna oh my god I'm gonna roll

for like without modifiers you rolled an 8 and 11 and then have then rolled a 2, 3 a 1 and a 4

i'm gonna use a lucky and I'm going to use perception again.

Oh, thank god you have lucky, and that's a. Come on, dude.
You have a negative one? That's a zero. You rolled a zero.
You rolled a zero. Do you have any more lucky? I'm going to roll another lucky.

Oh, my gosh.

This is just.

We need this, dude. It's my moment.

Could I try to listen from where I am? Cause I have keen hearing. That's what? What's the point of me doing anything?

Let's get through this roll chip and then, yeah, we'll get to you. That's a two.

Oh my god.

Do you have any more luckies? Don't worry, gang guys. One more.

Chip's just underwater the whole time. He is drowning literally and like figuratively.
Three times a charm.

You're using all your luck points. Carol, if you can hear me, honey bunny, give me the power.

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

That's an eight. What does he hear with an eight? Let's just hear what he hears the nate.

Then you hear the footsteps receding away going into the vampspire. Okay.
All right, then I'm going to wait till the next person comes by. Wait.
Maybe. Elga, you have some kind of...

I wanted to use my keen hearing ability. For one minute, I have advantage on perception checks that rely on hearing.
Okay. Okay, so I would say normally at this distance, you would have

disadvantage because it's so far.

But your keen hearing cancels that out. So you'll just roll a normal perception.
So you get to just roll a good perception. But Elga rolls good perception.

But there's two of us rolling perception, though. Yes.
17. Stoker.

Stoker. Like Brom Stoker.
Stoker. Yeah, Brom Stoker.

They make good breakfast sofers. Yep.
Since you are not under the bridge, Elga, you know, you're up where the protesters were earlier.

You see that the people who walk up to give the password don't say it to the Sferatu. They whisper it to the Gargoyle.
Copy. Okay.
And then they walk into the vamp spot.

Okay, so he has to get out from underneath this thing now.

What'd you hear, Chip?

Elga and I heard it together. I think I saw her perking her ear up, and between the two of us, we got it covered.
Yeah, okay. Two syllables.

Stoker. So yeah, I was going to say at the same time, you pooked up the words right on the left.
I went faster than he was prepared. Stoker.
Stoker, but you guys have to say it to the Gargoyle.

Guard Goyle. Right.
Yes.

Betita's just shaking their head. Come on.
This is perfect. Skipper just brought me another letter.
It says, both of my parents just died.

The alchemist says, looks like you have this perfectly under control. I'm going back to Francesca.

Okay.

we'll be back, Elkomister. All right.

Okay, everyone knows what to do. Yeah,

okay. I'll still lead the way.
Okay, you all begin crossing the bridge with Elga leading the way. Could Elga just go through? Yeah, Elga, you walk straight through.
No problem.

Did Elga talk into the thing? No. Okay.
Mate goes to the Gargoyl and goes, Stokia.

Okay.

Oh, and I and I walk proudly through. Okay.
Yeah. You walk right through and join Elga.
I do. Barney goes to the gargoyle, says toker, and then walks through.
Okay.

And then Chip walks up to the gargoyle. Gargoyle.

The blurbable gargoyle. I want to mess this up, but I'm not going to.
Choker. And then I pet the gargoyle, and then I walk through.
Okay. It'd be real bad if you messed it up.
What do I say?

It's me, Chipping.

It's me, Chip Aini. Oh, no.
You mean count, Chip? Yes. Yeah,

chocolate. Chocolate.
Chipula. Alright, what happens? As you move through the open archway, you pass by two red-robed batfolk you recall as the Sviratu.

They pay you no mind as they chant in unison and conjure clearly powerful magics.

Beyond them, ornate sconces of torchlight flicker across glossy black stone walls leading further into the belly of the tower.

Aromas of rotten carrion-sour sweat, and the choking of smoke waft through the passage.

The reverberating din of shifting feet, fluttering of wings, and the ringing of small chimes grows in your ears, until finally you reach a crimson door with one word carved into the wooden grain.

Tails the dock. Elga, a small voice suddenly whispers in your mind.
Welcome home, sister.

That gave me goosebumps alive. Find out what happens in the next episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
Turns out it's just a mixed identity. Like they did now.
It was the wrong sister.

Oh, oh, oh, you're held. Oh, sorry.
Sorry. Sorry.
Oh, I thought you were someone else. Tails Adoc.
How do you spell that? T-A-E-L-Z-A-D-O-K. CODS.

Sorry, I'm going backwards. All right.
Thanks for listening, everybody. We'll see you all next week.
Oh, gosh. Bye-bye.
Bye. Bye.
Oh, dear.

Did you know you can directly support the show by subscribing at stinky dragonpod.com slash first?

You can join the ranks of amazing little stinkers like tusk centaur scarlath 7 duffinator 56 dino sa and know how these people are directly supporting the show and they get access to more great content like second wind they can access our subscriber only discord channels and events and more check out stinky dragonpod.com slash first we can't thank you enough for your support and helping us to make this show listeners that interact with us on social media and discord had npcs named after them in this episode like marin the shopkeeper was named by talaya who's a first member and is voiced by carrie shawcross at carrie shawcross The Alchemist is voiced by Blizzbear at Blizzbear with a three instead of an E.

The Sferatu is voiced by David Sonye at David underscore Sonye. Francesca Esteban is voiced by Jessica Vasami at Jessica Vasami.

The Mummy, aka Ryder Rajad, voiced by Hannah McCarthy at hi Hello underscore Hannah, and Hexel the Glerbian, voiced by Elise Willems, at Elise Willems.

The Stinky Dragon channel is managed by Ben Ernst.

This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon is produced by Kai Cook, written, edited, and composed by Michael Reisinger, with additional editing work by David Sonye.

Head over to stinkydragonpod.com first for all things stinky. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

You can bite, we won't budge, till we get some oversight. People in the crowd start to shout.
You should use some words.

Come on, yeah, but like the rhythm, you know. Well, sorry, keep going, keep protesting.
You can bite, we won't budge till you give us some new fudge. That's what I was thinking.
Hey,

Micah, do you want to put Micah?

Do you want to put it in there? Nefuddin.

Long thumb.

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