C02 - Ep. 33.5 - Passé in Perrish - Between the Tales

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Hello, everyone. Welcome to Tales from the Stinky Dragon.
This is episode 33.5. It is a between the tales episode.
You do not get a spooky voice. What about a Buero? You get a fun game.

A game.

DD.

Did we get Chris Craigs for the game? That's pretty good. Am I guessing the game? I'm going to give one player a feat of my choosing.

If

they can accurately and succinctly,

Chris, you raised your hand. So go for it.
Recap. I don't know.

The timer starts now.

You buzzed in. All right.
Well, we started with the murder.

What murder?

No, no, no, no. Cheat codes.
Cheat codes. You put that down.

Juts and ladders. Barbara, the murder of of one of the 80 seconds.

Oh my goodness. Wolfman.
And then we were blamed for the murder. We went on a

try and figure out who the murderer is. Alchemist helped us break out of jail.
We went through and we found that Eddie's like doing all this bad stuff and blaming us for the murder.

So we went chasing after Eddie and then Eddie kept framing us for stuff. We were going through trying to get all the lands, you know, going through.
We went to Phoenix. 60 seconds.
And then

Phoenix Arizona.

And then

we fought a

cat Phoenix.

We went to Phoenix and fought this Phoenix.

And then so

we did that. And then

we've been doing more stuff. 40 seconds.

Barney is...

He thinks he's alive, but he might not be. And then

the cat's actually not a cat. 30 seconds.
And then also we just fought a bunch of

the hags and we beat them. And so we're they're trying to invade Parish

and take over more and we didn't and we stopped them and then also we saw Carol and she was a hag but then she had to she like passed out

wow all right that with 10 seconds to spare welcome to tales from the stinky dragon

I'm gonna finish the question now okay okay oh please let it be something completely different if they can accurately and succinctly recall the previous arc in 90 seconds.

I saw Blaine had their hand up first before Barbara. Technically he did it about nine.
He did. He didn't.

He didn't. Accurately? So I would like to see if anybody can do more on the previous hark.
Blaine, go for it. Okay, so we're on a train heading to Parrish.
At one point, Jacques the cat.

He already got something wrong. What? No, we're heading on a train.
Parish was one of the places that we ended up because we were chasing after Jacques. 80 seconds.

So we get there.

We get encountered by the headless horseman.

And then he thinks that we're bad guys. We're good guys.

Chill.

We run into Louis the Ice Giant who is terrorizing the town. We defeat him and then save a lady.
And then he... Who's the lady's name? 60 seconds.

Katrina. So her and the Headless Horseman have like a little rendezvous because Parish.

So we're looking around. We try to get out of Parrish into the hag territory and past them.
But in the process, we run into a plot by the hags to take over Parish.

They have somehow, Katrina, who's actually a hag in disguise, takes over the headless horseman's brain brainwashes him i think because they have uh his head in their uh uh under their his control and that somehow controls the headless horseman uh so we have to get back into parish we uh try to get the caval cavaleri uh to which is like the local police force to help us stop this hag invasion uh so then we encounter the hags as they're about to come in there's three hags that are like leading the whole charge.

One of them, Shivy, seems like they're not completely aligned with them. We get into this big battle.
Turns out out Shivy's actually my wife Carol in disguise.

But we're able to stop it, but Shivy gets away.

Two, two, one. One, happy New Year.

Barbara, your hand was up after Blaine. Was there anything you felt like he missed or anything you want to elaborate on? There's a couple things he missed.

One of them was us stumbling upon the grave of one Barney Farney. He covered that.

Where we discovered

Barney has a bit of a tragic backstory and may or may not be alive.

We also traveled to the Astril Plane where we discover a little bit more about Matib

Australian.

Where we learn that Jacques is actually Jack and then Matib got a new cat in the making. Named.
Named Fifi Gigi. Gigi.

Mark Mark.

We also

met the

also Barney's dog. 50.
Stinker.

We also met the

Hannah's character. The mummy.
Mummy.

The mummy who was a ghost in the tavern. She was kind of drunk.
That was cool.

The Covenord is. Covenord is where the hags all live.

What else? What else? What a Talon is

what.

Something.

Hey, no, that's good.

Something. 20 seconds.
Talon. And then.

They're controlling the

alchemist they are yes well kind of

yeah oh lewis they're using lewis um has a split personality for for bad yeah and he has no control over it yeah he's taking potions five i i wrote something that says ragnar has headdress there's also one there's also we find out there's another organization so chip used to work for dagger dagger uh carol worked for talon and then there's another one i think called sheath right well in chip's vision we saw uh the hag say something about sheath or chee-teeth or something like that.

But then in the last episode, we heard what they actually said. That's right.
Do you feel like they missed anything, John, that you want to you want to cover? I think they did a good job.

I think they did a good job. Sheath.
I think they did a very good job. I think they covered a lot of it.

I think, yeah, y'all hit pretty much all of the key moments I was looking for here from each of the episodes. So which feet should I add to my character?

We each get one lucky. We each get one left foot.
You know, I think nobody really mentioned Juzzy, the darkling, who led you through the mausoleum. I know, they missed that.
The traitor!

I even wrote Juzzy. I don't think anybody mentioned the dome of ice in which you had to fight Lewis initially.
You kind of mentioned that a little bit. No, I didn't.
I'll be honest.

Yeah, I think other than that, you pretty much covered all of that. I will say, I think Barbara.
hit the most points that I was looking for out of everyone here. For this campaign, this arc.
Yes.

Which was the question. When I saw Chris's arm go on it, all right, let's go.
Yeah, he did a pretty good job. He did.
Of the overall arc.

But for this, for the question, for this previous arc, I'm going to say it was Elga. What feet does Elga get? So you can add this under features and traits.

Feets, manage feats, and then add the feet name, Charger. Charger, okay.

You can use dash and gain a bonus action to melee attack or shove. That's actually really good for you.
Yes. Now, is this a 69 charger? Because those are pretty slick feet.

These days there are four-door sedans, but back in the day. It would have been cheating if I had tried tried to get for that because I already have a feat that lets me recall everything with accurate

recollection. Does not need more power.
What? I need another, I need another boost. Come on.
All right, I've added charger. Yay!

So it's when you use dash action, you could use a bonus action to make a melee weapon attack or show a creature. So it has to be when I use dash, not correct.

That's cool though, because that means you can go far and then still attack, still attack, which is really good for your character. Yeah.

Dash is usually like a charger. what is it, double your speed? Double move.
So you can double move and then it's still attack.

That's great. I'm coming to get you.
And sorry, what's the attack? It's an unarmed strike? Melee. Melee attack.
A melee attack. Yeah.
Okay.

Wait, wait, so then she can use her axe then.

Yes. Heck, yeah.
Meanwhile, back in Talon HQ.

What's going on there? Zlore. Yeah.

Carol very weakly murmurs, yeah.

Carol slumps into Chip's arms, unmoving. You look down and see the veins in Carol's face and body have quickly turned a sickly green.

Somewhere off in the distance, you hear a familiar high-pitched cackle of Eddie.

But suddenly,

a purple-skinned crone reappears before you all. Seeing the carnage that lays before her, she shrieks an incantation.

All four of you start to feel an intense drowsiness wash over you. The world around you blurs and your eyelids droop.
She said, Everyone go to bed, I think. Yeah, go me.

And just before you drift off to sleep, you hear a scream of outrage followed by a feeling of being cradled.

All four of you fall asleep and you can all but on the bright side, everyone gets a long wrist. Yay.

But my wife.

You guys are, you're next to each other. You're safe.
You're good.

Oh, can I, can I, like, am I still cradling Carol when I fall asleep? I think you're being cradled. Well, that's what, well, I would want to go for the, like, you know, if it's.
You can try.

It's like, you know, as you're dozing off, sure, why not? Because I don't know if I'm dying or if I'm going to sleep.

So I'm going to like do the last thing that feels right, which is hold on to carol oh that's sweet everyone make a perception check fine i could perceive how to kill eddie because he took my wife that's an eight or five twelve nineteen i have an eight oh that's a rare low perception check from elga chip and elga you start to come to and you know regain your consciousness and it's really hard to notice anything because you're laying on some rocky ground that's very uncomfortable it's hard for you to really look around and focus on anything anything else.

Mateed, you stir, and you notice that behind you, you see some dense fog rolling over some hills. Barney, with the highest perception roll of all, maybe you're used to, you got like old man powers.

You don't need very much sleep or something. He's cleaned his glasses.
I slept on the way.

You took a nap earlier. Barney did, actually.

Before you, you see jagged, craggy mountain made of black rock. And you also notice that the alchemist nor Carol seem to be anywhere in sight.

You see a mountain, and it's just us in the middle of like wilderness. Yeah, you're all on rocky ground.

You see some dense fog rolling over some hills, and before you is a jagged, craggy mountain made of black rock. Does this look familiar? Like, do I recognize this mountain?

Make a. We'll call it a wisdom check.
Can I make it as well? Sure, why not? Every

eight, nine.

Nope, never seen this mountain before. Wise old souls.

I wasn't gonna do it, but now I wanna.

Before the party starts getting up and like perturbing the ground,

perturbing. Are you okay? What happened there? My wife!

Ladies and gentlemen, Borat has joined in.

I want to know what word he was trying.

Perturb? Perturb.

Disturb? No.

Blurble-gerbble, perturb.

Footprints. Do I see if, like, I know my wife's feet size? What size?

Seven.

That's canon. Make an investigation check.

I think you're perturbed. That'll be on our separate wiki page, Stinky Feet.
Oh, yeah.

It's a net one.

Plus four, five, five. Yeah, you cannot seem to find any kinds of tracks or anything or anything in the area.

I'm very perturbed. By the way, I rolled a nine, so we don't get anything else from this.
Can I roll a wisdom too? Do it. The wisest of us.
The wisest.

So much wisdom packed in in that tiny little back with your sandwich. And you're going to be so smart and get a 15.
Yay!

Yeah. So do you feel like your party members are looking kind of slackjawed at the mountain? Okay.
Like they're not comprehending what they're seeing. You see it for what it is.

It's a mountain, but you've just never seen this specific one in the past.

You know that confidently. Or what kind of terrain or like weather are we dealing with? Like, are we a snowy kind of blog? It's a fog somewhere.
Yeah,

it's kind of brisk, cold, and foggy. Oh.
Okay, but not something we're familiar with. No.
What does the air smell like?

So I will say, the dense fog rolling over the hills, that seems familiar to you since you roll so high on your wisdom. That does seem like

Parisian, reminiscent of the city of Parrish.

And even though maybe you think you've never seen this mountain, there is something about the black rock composing the mountain that seems familiar to you, Elga. Ooh.

Is it like the...

No. It wouldn't be like the rock from the fireplace.
no okay where have we seen black rock before uh it sounds familiar

i've seen it in uh warcraft did did we ever figure out who who just even hear my wow joke and he i just i don't need to i'm reading a couple

i made a wow reference and i need you to acknowledge thank you

i was also thinking of lost the ship the black rock oh yeah did we ever figure out who had who was the other possessor of the cartista oh you're sending you who was sending you letters yeah don't know do i know do i remember you should have asked Carol.

We didn't have much time there, Bernie. Barney.
Sorry. Bernie.
Bernie.

Bernie. Chip, did you lose your wife again?

This isn't funny. That's a very sensitive subject to Chip.

Hey, that's in character.

I said it in character. Normally, Chip is very chipper.
Oh, sorry.

He is not feeling great. Like, he's

probably looking around, just checking, like, manically looking for any have you looked in your bum bag honestly that might be actually a legitimate question okay i look into my bum bag because i remember there was there was an exchange of some sort you remember carol did put something into your bum bag right you reach into it and there is something unexpected in there you pull it out and it's a silver pin embossed with a symbol that appears to be a scabbard with an s wrapped around it oh that's that must be sheath yeah don't you have a silver locket ilga yeah i'm just curious silver silver jewelry should i look at my locket?

No, no, it was just a silver jewelry. Maybe think about it.
Jib, look, we match now. What's in...
What is that locket? This locket? Yeah. Some pictures.

Isn't it your sister? It's my sister. Oh, that's right.
Is there anything

to that? No, no, no.

It just triggered a mind. This just got me silver.
It's just me. This is a checkoff silver locket button thing.
Could I look at my locket just in case?

It's just how you're remembering. It's funny.
Carol pops out.

It's a picture of Carol.

Wait a minute. Carol is my sister.
What? What's like, what's our distance to this mountain? Is it like, are we at the base of it? Is it like in the distance? Yeah, you're kind of at the base of it.

I'll tell you what, make me a survival check for me, Matita. Oh, no, I always fail these.
You should probably also investigate what this locket is, this silver thing.

Yeah, 21. Oh.
Nice. Maybe we'll survive.
You are at the base of this mountain.

And, you know, as you're looking around, trying to figure out where you are in relation to it, you actually see there's a trail leading up the mountain.

And there's a pair of drag marks leading up the trail. Oh, there are drag marks.
Drag? As in, like, someone was dragged? Yeah, as in, like, presumably, like, two bodies have been dragged.

Oh, like, okay. Could be, could be Carol, could be Alchemist.
Okay, well, before I do that, what do I know of Sheath? Is this an organization that's even more like top secret than Dagger?

You have not heard of the organization Sheath in the past. Is there anything else, any other information that could be gleaned from this pendant?

your only experience with sheath so far has been carol mentioning it and then i guess this pendant or this pin and also that vision chip had right of the hag like on the ground all wasn't she like all like beat up going like she like you're trying to read her lips and she was saying like she teeth was that shy in that vision i think it was maybe you've seen this logo on the pin before but it's something you you haven't paid attention to or doesn't like really stick out in your mind maybe you've you've seen the logo written somewhere i don't know hey gang I got a gift from my wife in our very short amount of time together.

How do you know it's from your wife? What? How do you know it's from your wife?

Well, because, okay, so to catch you up, in the middle of that battle, whenever I went up to break Shivy out of the prison that she was in,

they revealed to me that that was Carol in disguise. Oh.

And if I'm alive? She's alive. And if I didn't kill my wife, first and foremost.

We don't know that. And no one else saw her except for you.
Yeah, we have not seen her chip. You didn't kill your wife, and that was definitely her.

Yeah, but saying that you did, it's just that we do not know yet. I've tried to be as friendly as I can.
I'm going through a lot emotionally right now, gang. So if you could just like cool it.

But did she, you said she gave you this little pin? Yeah. So, you know, I know my wife.
I know that she's a good person. So whoever this sheath organization is, I believe that they

have her,

on some sort of an assignment to infiltrate the Covenord. Or maybe they've stolen her.
I don't know. They're not mutually exclusive.
That's not true. Great insight from Barney there.

Very astute, Barney. I appreciate your input so much.
Barney just showed up, everyone.

Barney worked for Corporate America for many years. Knows you should be working for someone and a slave to the corporation.

Perhaps we should investigate these tracks that I found. We should.
But before we do, does anybody recognize this S, this sheath symbol? Does anybody, I need help, I need to know if anyone sees this.

Take a look. Yeah, if anyone who wants to look at it, can make a wisdom check.
I missed rolling with Muds, wisdom modifier. Nine.
I have good wisdom, but

I've got a 15 for Elga.

My bad.

Very wise, Elga. Barney, you've had bad wisdom checks today.
I know. You have a plus five modifier.

No, the.

Just to make Chris feel feel worse about it. I'm just saying, I expect him to normally roll really good on this.

No, the symbol does not seem at all familiar to anybody else. Okay.
I've never seen the letter S before.

But you know what it is. Elga von Breath has no S in it.

Gang, I think we should go follow these marks then. Oh, oh, and Chip puts his hood on.
That means that Chip's in his anti-hero face.

Oh, right. I like how billion points, like, anti-hero.

Tip of his head and finger-pointing.

Chip, hey, the chip you knew, he's away right now for business, all right? You're getting serious, chip. Oh, I am, I am so uh.

Don't mock me, Matine.

I'll kill you.

Too late. Minnesota chip just showed up.
You gotta be there. Wisconsin chip's gone.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. The chip you knew and loved, he's out.
He's gone on vacation.

Now you see that because I want this chip to have like a Brooklyn accent or something. He's just totally different.

I'm walking here. Chip, hey.
Someone really chipped him off. Yeah.

Mate walks along the tracks. Me too.
As do I. Yeah.
Barney, do you want to come? I will come. And

that was me saying Barney will come.

Yeah.

Elga addressed you and you answered in Chris. Is Chris here?

I'd like to see if Chris is in this place with us. Make an investigation.

Is the Chris in the room?

10

you think there may be a chris in the room with you i think someone is in this realm with us we do not know before

while we walk can can can barney go up to chip

and be like i i just want you to know i

it's really brave of you to go after

to to go after her i've it can be scary to to go off uh just i i i i just look

i'm sorry i'm processing I'm processing. No, Blaine was like bracing for you to take another jab at him.
And so your sincerity has caught him off guard.

I have had

family missing for a long time. And

it's not always easy to go searching. It seems like it would be.
Chip rests a hand on Barney's shoulder. He says, I appreciate that, Barn.

We're going to figure this out. And by golly,

we're going to find out and get to the bottom of your mystery through Are you guys crying?

Elga? Are you guys getting emotional? Elga, we are having a moment. Okay, sorry.
Now you got to tinker to help you track stuff down.

He's a full-blooded bone ham.

No bone. Do you have a sad mystery that you would also like to, like, you know, Elga doesn't feel emotions

anymore? Why does you look like you're crying right now? It's the fog.

It's precipitate. It's precipitate.
It's crying on my face. The rain.

I think Micah pointed out that I think Elga does still have one emotion. Rage

now.

Elga Smash. The most important emotion.

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Bernie, let's get a move on, bud. Yeah, let's go.
We got to get to the bottom of this. Or the top of it, because we're going to the mountain.
You're right. What's y'all's march in order?

I'll be in front. I'll be second.
I was going to say I was in front because

it was my wife.

Should we roll off to see who's in front? Yeah. Yeah, let's go.
Let's see. Let's go.
Who can power rock fastest? Let's just roll a D6. Let's just do it.
Yes. Very good.
No modifiers. I'm a one.

What does that mean? Last or first? I assume that's last. Five.
Two.

So Barney's first. I know Barney was mine.

I'm a mine. Barney go first.
Barney's first. Barney, your dice.
Barney, Mate, Chip, Elga. This seems like a great marching order.
I just want to say. Why are we going so slow?

And nobody got what they wanted. That's what compromise means.
Barney, Mateed, Chip, Elga.

Barney's going to go fast. Chip's further back than he was intending.
I'm not in the front.

You got the old man on the walker leading the way. Well, why don't we just swap Chip and Barney? So it'll be Chip, Mateed, Barney, Elga.
Only if Chip and Barney are okay with that.

No, I'm just trying to get ahead of Chip. Okay.

So on a serious note, I'm trying to do something with the character. Okay.

So I wouldn't mind leading because this is, you know, like I'm getting to the point of my mission. Chip, would you like to lead the group? I would love that.
Oh, then all you had to do was ask.

That's all I had to do? That's all you had to do. I mean, why would I fight you for walking in the front of this place? I mean, what if someone were to come and try to kill us?

Oh, gee, whiz, I didn't. I didn't think of that.

By all means, you may shield me like the friend you are. After you, Chip.

So is it Chip Barney Mate Elga? That's a yes to move on. Yes.
Okay.

Strategically speaking.

I'm kidding. Yeah, that's fine.
That's fine. Oh, I hate you guys.
Chip, make me an investigation check.

I'm glad I led.

Oh, that's a

walking up the trail leading the party. You come across a trail of scarlet droplets leading up to a small red puddle in the middle of some large jagged rocks.

Look, Elga, a snack. Hey, Elga.
Yeah. I think that this falls under your purview.

Rocks?

Blood. Blood? Oh, wait, why would you

think that's not? No, no reason. I'll still check it out, though, just to make sure I'm not sure.

You have those special glasses. We just thought that would be very good fun yeah let me go take a look actually

if you don't mind she sticks her head in yeah i'll i'll i'll also investigate into the puddle

not in like like up close to the puddle could i do a little like i take a little dip dip lick lick yeah you get uh you get down real close to the puddle and the puddle tastes familiar oh that was not a word i thought you were gonna say are you are you uh positive a positive

it's uh it's a it's a vintage you you've had experience with in the past. Are you saying it's blood? Who has Elga drank from? It's not the hemoglobin, is it goblin, is it?

As you taste it and think about it, the blood congeals and forms itself into a blood method that strikes out at you, Elga. Okay, not cool.

It hits AC

that's like that's like if Chris was attacked by ice cream. Yeah.

She's his greatest love betraying him. That's DC20.
Yeah, that hits. The blood forms into two blood methods, actually.
Oh, no.

And one of them lashes out at you while you're not expecting it, Eliga, and hits you, doing two points of bludgeoning damage. Oh, no.
Each or like two total. Two total.
Okay.

Do you have like a new thing that you can use?

I'm not currently raging, so it's not like I take half damage or anything like that. No, like your level up stuff.
Oh.

Because we leveled up. That's a good segue.
This is a Between the Tails episode, so that means everyone is now level seven.

Even though it's we call them Between the Tales, but these episodes are part of the lore of the story, so people should be listening to them.

I think during the Infinite campaign, it was very much detached from the story. I think we're trying to incorporate a little more story now.
It's fun. We get to do roleplay and make chip cry.

What do you want to do?

I'll give you a reaction here since you're the one who got attacked. Yeah.
How close are they to me? Like, they must be right up on me because they just hit, right?

Yeah, one of them is right up on you attacking you. The other one is like booking it super fast away from y'all.
Oh, really?

Well, is it more than 60 feet away from me yet? No, but it is flying. FYI.
Could I throw my axe of the scarab at it? Yeah. Is that the one you can recall? Yeah.
Yeah. It's like a boomerang.

Okay, boomerang. Okay, boomerang.

18, does that hit? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm pretty sure it does. Yeah, it does.

That does...

Eight points of damage on it. It explodes into a puddle of blood that falls back down to the ground.
A great rock band. Elga sticks open her mouth and just goes,

and then I don't think it costs me any sort of action or bonus action to recall the axe. I believe you are correct.
So I want to use the same axe to hit this one close up on me.

Do you have to do anything cool to recall it?

That was better than I could imagine.

The shoulder shrug after, ooh,

it specifically says, as part of your attack, you can make the axe fly back to your empty hand. So it's not like its own action or a bonus action.
It's just part of the attack.

No, but what Barbara did is what I wanted. Yeah, no, no, that canonically, yes.
The evil must happen every time. Can it do a thing where like it hits the thing on the way back to you?

Or is that a double? No, probably not. I mean, if you want to incorporate it as like an attack roll, you can try that.

I'll just catch it and then hit the one in front of me. Yeah, go for it.
Pajing.

Nice. 26.
26. That, believe it or not, that hits.
Good hits. Shocking.
And that, oof, only seven points of damage on that. That's exactly what you need.
Yay!

This blood method also screens and disintegrates back into a puddle of blood in front of you. Wait, when we encountered the blood methods out in Carcassook, yeah? Yeah.

I love the way Chip says Carcassook. Carcassook.
Carcassouk. So.
Y'all been out there to Carcassook yet? These probably aren't native to this land.

It was weird that we were seeing these in what we think may be a parish. Yeah.
I wonder how they got there. Anyways, I'm going to just

take a little sip of this, if you don't mind. You know, clean it up.
You don't want anyone slipping on it. Yeah.

It exploded in your face, so it's all over it. You have a little bit right there if you want to get it.
Okay. Hold on.

Okay, I'll clean. I have a question for the party.
Does anybody remember how that hemogoblin encounter ended? Didn't we did we freeze it? I think we destroyed it, and then inside of it was the

Inspector Gadget. I think it gave kind of like one of those like, I'll get you kind of speeches before it.
Like claw from Inspector Gadget? Yeah, I think that something like that happened.

Like it was still alive. That's what I thought.
I just remember, I can't remember the specifics of how it retreated. I'm just trying to remember the alliances.
Who is it like aligned with?

Because if this is like an Eddie trip, I don't know. Then there could be like a, you know, this could be a rural Snake Mountain Skeletor situation.
We're going to the headquarters.

Yeah. Elga, are you all right? I'm so good.
If you see any more of those blood things hanging around, just let me know. I will do that right away.
You'll take care of it, right?

Could I also put some of it in my sippy cup? Sure, why not? Okay. I dunk my sippy cup in and you know, for the road.
Yes.

For the road. For investigative reasons.
You know, they say that you could, you know, blood.

Anyways.

Where's your wife, Jim?

Oh.

I.

Who was is in front?

No, Chip. Chip was in front.
Chip, would you like to proceed on the path? Let's get boogeying. Or would you like me to take the front? No, no, no.
Okay, I just wanted to check. My wife.
Okay.

All right. Yeah, you...

You continue your trek up the mountainside. Why don't you make me another investigation check, Chip? Oh, you know I'm going to succeed on this one.
Here we go.

I mean, succeeds relative, right? 16. Oh, that's really good.
As you are walking up, you discover a small cave in the side of the mountain, and there are drag marks on the ground leading inside.

And you feel like every now and then you hear a scream coming out from inside the cave. I silently pause the party, and then I ask Barney, don't you get some sort of dark vision thing? I do.

Let's boot that up. Okay.

We're going to have to, you know, go in there.

And then it shoots off. It does.
Shoots off. Eyes of night.
You have a dark vision out to the range of 300 feet.

As an action, you can share this dark vision with up to five willing creatures you can see within 10 feet of you. It lasts for one hour.
Who are you sharing it with? I'm sharing it with the party and

I guess Stinker. Yay!

I don't want him to get lost. We can throw the bone real far and he'll go get it.
It scares Stinker. He closes his eyes.
Oh.

He does that thing where he closes his eyes and just starts shaking a little bit.

Got it. Your dark vision activates so you can see pretty well into the cave.

And since you can see all the way into the cave, you see that the drag marks end in a mountain goat being held down to the ground and fed on by two giant bats.

Wait, bats? Yeah, two giant bats are currently sucking the blood of a mountain goat that they've trapped inside the cave. Oh, I'll attack the bats.
Yeah. I'm conflicted.

You say you're attacking the bats?

Yeah, yeah, get away from that poor mountain goat. Could I see a bat?

Could I communicate with the bats? Can you? I mean, I have echolocation. I have keen hearing.
I have something else. What'd you got? I don't know.
Spilled beans. I don't know if I should stay yet.

Spill the beans. Because I don't know if Elga's discovered it yet.

That's up to you.

It's how you

come across these things. Okay, guys, before we attack anything, you know, I think bats are just a little bit maybe misunderstood creatures.
Do you mind if I give something a try? Go fuck. Go nuts.

I've been working on this. I do prefer things that fly over the ground ones.
Okay. Well, I want to protect the baby goat.
I'm focusing. No, it's a baby.
No, it's a baby.

Well, everything's a baby in chip size.

Including Elga? I'm the babiest baby, Elga. What about me?

You are the ugliest baby.

There are some babies that look like old men. That's true.

Okay, I need to focus. Okay.

Bet.

Bet.

Bet.

With that, Elga very quickly transformed into

a bat. Whoa! Oh my god, this very normal little girl turned into a bat chip.
Can you imagine?

I think this little girl's become a little woman. Possibly that's best.
Shrieking and clicking. For both of you guys.

I'm very happy.

Yeah, you are now flying around the party.

Do you understand what I'm saying? I'm speaking, but then the moth is coming out and quickly shrieking for my voice. I'm just imagining bat body, elga head.

What do we hear? Yeah, you can understand her. Wow.

What size is bat Elga? Bat Elga is not giant bat size, just like a more average bat size. Oh, so just like

still like a fruit bat. Oh,

it's like six inches.

Yeah. And the bats that are eating on the goat.
Those are giant bats. In DD terms, they are large.
Mud turned into giant bat to carry the

aimmobile in campaign one. That's true.
Um, am I able to communicate with them? Yeah, oh, dang.

Hello, um, my fellow bats. It is me, also a bat.

Clearly, do you see my wings?

That's how I approach anybody new. Hello, fellow humans.
It is I also a human.

She turns back into Elga when she says that.

No, No, she didn't say Elga. Yeah, exactly.
I'm just wondering what the young people, fine bat people are doing

over here. Is this ghost? Uh, what's he evil? Or what's going on? What's your persuasion modifier? I'm just curious.

Feeding. Oh.
Feeding. Oh, very cool.
Um. Little bat join?

Yeah!

Guys, I don't know what to do. Do I look cool with my fellow bats? Did we figure out if we can understand understand her? We do.

I didn't hear your answer. So they don't know what the giant bats have said.
Only you know that. Okay.

So Elga says, I think they're having a meal.

Try to lure them away from the goat. We, you know.
But what, I mean, circle of life, you know? Yeah, but the goat, you know, might, I don't know, could be a shapeshifter of some sort.

Is there anything that I could tell us like special about this goat? It's a really good screamer.

Oh, it's like still alive. Yeah.
That's the screams that you all heard from inside the

cave. Um,

this goat sure does look tasty, but I have to tell you guys, just outside the cave, we actually found a whole puddle of blood that you don't even have to like chew to get to.

You know, you just have to go sippy-sippy, and it's right there.

That's a pretty good argument. You know? I'll tell you what, make an animal handling check with advantage.
A seven and then a three and then a seven. I'm gonna, I'm gonna use my inspiration die.
Ooh.

Because I really want to persuade. Yes, Nat 20.
Nice.

Ooh.

Free blood. Free blood, yeah.
Not that they have to pay for it normally. Free of being inside the creature.
They take to the air and fly out of the cave, leaving the goat. Okay, guys, I think

the coast is clear and the ghost is clear.

Elga!

Elga retransforms from a bat back to the Elga we all know. And I probably fall down onto the ground because I was in the air.
That is so fascinating. Chip, what can you turn into?

I don't know if I resist.

That's the first time I've had that. That's very interesting.
The goat bounds out of the cave and begins running up the mountain. You do remember this, yes?

That goat's gonna save our lives someday.

Can't wait for the finale. Daddy is about to bring down his ass pain.
You hear a scream from Nonhai.

It was the god of goats that we didn't know was there. It could be a druid.
Who knows, you know? Yeah. Yeah.

Sounds like John's been reading Greek mythology over here. There's a lot of goats in Greek mythology.
Well, is there anything else further than this cave, or should we go back out to the city?

No, that's pretty much it for this cave. Okay.

You kind of sidestepped a lot of it with your infernal night vision.

Matida does a nice little head bow and lets Chip go ahead. Okie dokie gang, back on the trail.
Here we go. And then I start head back up.

Everyone else is imagining like Chip doing that little like power walk kind of thing, like the shuffling. Oh, yeah,

the glutes are activated for sure.

I don't think we should get Chip longer shorts.

Five-inch theme is perfect. It shows off my meaty legs, but it's also conservative enough that it's not inappropriate.
Fair enough.

Blaine looks like he's power walking in his seat. Chip, make me another investigation check since you're leading the party.
Okay. Here's the good one.
17. Yeah.
Oh, yeah, it is a good one.

That's your best one so far, I think. It is.
It's because I said so. Yeah,

John allowed it to happen. Yeah.
As you're walking up the trail, you make a turn in the path and you stumble upon a fellow traveler sitting on the trail.

There appears to be a silver-haired dwarf wincing as she rubs her ankle. Oh, hey there, friendo.

Joe, God. Oh, you scared me.
Yeah, I'm a rogue. I'm kind of used to sneaking up on people, but I have no reason to kill you, friend.
What are you doing here? Well, we are searching for my wife, Carol.

She's beautiful. I can tell you all about Carol.
One time we were out at the theater,

and

wow,

I just didn't even pay attention to the play on stage because I was looking at my beautiful wife. The beautiful chip.
That's so beautiful. And she's just the loveliest person you ever.

Anyways. What play was it?

The.

Give me a... Come on, you're the thing.
Phantom of the Kophra. Nice.

That's actually good because we have coughs in there. These are rats.

Oh, rats.

Oh, was it the musical rats? Yeah. Yeah, rats.
It could have been better. Was Taylor Swift in that one?

Anywho, we're looking for my missing wife and our friend, the alchemist, who may also be an ice giant named Louis. That was a very unconfusing way to tell me what we're doing.

I'm pretty confused, and I know what's going on.

Is everything okay? What's wrong? You seem to be in a little bit of pain here. She's kind of like rubbing her ankle and wincing.

And you can see that she uh she has it looks like she has an injury on her ankle i was attacked by some red viscous creature that tried to drag me away oh was it made of blood

maybe but blood shouldn't move around where were you going i'm mountaineering mountaineering just for fun yeah looking for treasure oh looking for uh precious metals there are a lot out here well it's a mountain okay The name's Charlie.

Charlie Graves. What's yours? I'm Barney Farney.
Nice to meet you. What happened to your ankle? It's all hurt.
Well, yeah, I was attacked.

The red creature tried to drag me away by the ankle. And did you say that what kind of creature was Charlie? Silver-haired female twerk.
Charlie Graves. Yeah.
Cool.

Well, Charlie, maybe we can, you know, help you out. Has anybody got any heels?

I can help. Chip honey, by the way.
Plus for me. Do you know what the blood method is? No, what's that? It might have been the creature that was taking you away.
Was it? It was flying? Yeah, like a

creature made of, I guess, blood that can move around. Yeah.
Yeah. Okay.
Okay. It had wings like, oh, what is it called? You know, those flying things?

What are they called? I know what you're talking about. Yeah, what's the name of them? A bat.

Discharge of bats. What she has to do is

she says bat just to willingly want to turn into a bat. Otherwise, you don't know if it's like if she's watching a baseball game.
Like, oh, broken bat single.

I could also only do it, I think, once per long rest.

Right? I can fly all the time. Yeah, it's once per long rest.

That's nice, Linda.

So, should I check that off since I did it? Okay. And, Barney, were you going to try to assist Charlie? Does Barney have a new way of doing this? No.
Nope. Just the same old ways.

Yeah, I can do it stronger. Oh.

That same old. I have a disabled spells.

Disabuse spells? Yep, that's what he's going to do. Some new spells.
I'm not going to use them because they're not really. I don't know if they're going to.
Why don't you just fire one off for fun?

Yeah.

I'm sure we will rest before the next time we really need to be using our ability. So maybe let's just see what it looks like.
I love magic.

Okay.

What you gonna do, Chris? Well, I mean, I have two new spells that are fourth-level spells. They're aura of life.
What's that do?

30-foot radius of life-preserving energy, and it basically, everyone has resistance to necrotic damage, and its hit point maximum can't be reduced. So it's like a buff.
Yeah. Aura.
That's a buff.

And then if you, a non-hostile living creatures regain one hit points when it starts to turn in the area and has zero hit points. So kind of it can bring people back to life.

And then I also have greater invisibility. Did you have lesser invisibility at some point? I don't know.
Okay, no. I just didn't curious.
But now we do. I have greater invisibility.

We're going to lose our old man. Why? Because they're going to turn invisible and then we're just going to lose you.
Bye-bye.

But I can also cast my other spells at fourth level now. Oh, yeah, fourth level spells.
I got A4. Yeah.
Well, what are you going to do to heal this person? I'm going to do a third level of spells.

I like when Chris stays in Barney voice while he talks meta. I'm going to.

I mean, I could do lesser restoration.

No, no, that's not right.

Where's my healing? I'm sorry, Gus. Listen.
It's a lot of spells to keep track of. You've been looking at your computer this whole

recording. This is his method, everybody, okay? His method.

As a cleric in Boulder's Gate, it's a lot.

And then you can change them out during. So they're always different.
Note to self, don't play cleric next campaign.

Clerics are so OP, I think. I think they're like a really powerful thing.
They're very

complicated.

I want to cast, I guess, Aura of Vitality. Healing energy radiates within 30-foot radius until a spell.
And Aura moves with you, Center on you.

You can use a bonus action, cause one creature in the aura and clean you to regain. 2d6 hit points.
Does he say Aura of Vitality? I understood about it. 50 for Vitality! Vitality.
Vitality? Vitality.

Vitality! There you go. I thought the guy was going to sprout like a very thin mustache and talk about...
No, they're just going to eat a small meal of vittles.

Okay, so your aura of vitality springs forth, and I assume you are using it to heal Charlie? Charlie. Yeah.

It was a glowing aura, right? So he like lights up. It just says healing energy radiates from you in an aura.
I guess visually I translate that as like

golden light go ahead and roll your 2d6 uh hit points to heal eight oh yeah charlie uh you know stops rubbing her heat her ankle i almost hit heel and says oh that feels much better he like stomps around a little bit on it walking around make sure you don't get a charlie horse good one ship high five high five my wife You want to make sure you massage it before you go to bed or it might swell.

Drink plenty of water.

Do rice. You're hurt a Bengay? Bengay.

This is Dr. Barney.

We had like two trails of dragged bodies. Yes.
Has one of those ended

Charlie? I think it was both feet of the goat. That's what I'm asking.
Well, no, I'm asking like, is the trail still there? Are there two trails still? The trail has kind of come and gone.

At this point, you don't see it anymore currently. Okay.
Thank you.

Charlie, perhaps you could help us understand how we might be able to get to... I would assume that the peak of the mountain would be the direction we want to head.
Do you know

where that is? Oh, yeah, absolutely. Charlie points out a very difficult-to-see trail.
It says, head up in that direction.

That's where you want to go. Missy Buku.
Can I roll a check at Charlie's chill? Can I roll for chill? Yeah, you're going to make a vibe check? Yeah, I'm going to check a vibe.

We should have a vibe check. We call it

an inside a shot.

It literally is a roll. How's your insight? It's a minus one.
Okay. That's a six.

Charlie might be the most trustworthy person I've ever met. Charlie seems super cool.

Charlie! Hey! Hey, Charlie! Charlie!

You said you were looking for treasure, Charlie, right? Yes.

Where are you headed to for that? Oh, I'm gonna head deep into the mountain. Should we come with you? It's very treacherous for non-dwarves.
Like, is that a size thing or?

Well, just the knowledge of mountaineering and moving around through mines. Alright, so you're saying you don't want us to come with you?

No, I appreciate the help, but I travel faster on my own. Have you ever been to the Under Globula?

Yes, I have. Yeah? Yeah.
Oh, yeah. Lots of gimmes down there.
Lots of gims. You ever heard of...

What was that guy called? Aren't you looking for your wife?

Listen, I'm trying to distract myself. Alright, very emotional.
I'm trying to keep things light. Well, I don't want to hold you up.
It sounds like you're very busy looking for someone.

Mate just shuffles Chip along and just pushes things up the trail.

Please remember the kindness that we gave you today, Charlie. Thank you.
I'll eat a goat over the campfire tonight in your house. Oh, no, no, no, no.

Oh, oh, okay.

Everything's been forgotten. Charlie Risen on the goat in our final boss.

Yeah. Charlie and the goat.
You're still just saying Marchard, right? Chip Barney Matilda go? Yeah, sure.

Yeah, you all continue up the path that Charlie pointed out, and up the mountain, you hear the sound of rushing water.

After some trial and error, you eventually unearth some loose rock in the mountainside that leads into an indoor waterfall of gurgling gurgling scarlet icker.

Scarlet? Yes. It's a red goo.
Yes, out from the crimson waterfowl emerges a horrendous horned creature made of swirling blood. You're even more foolish than I remember.

You shall all drown in the vengeance of the evil goblin.

Well, I don't need to breathe, so that's not really that much of a pet.

Everyone roll initiative. I have advantage on initiative now.
Oh, you do? Yeah. I don't know why.
Maybe it's just a level up thing? But a little A showed up. I rolled a nine.

I have a thing that gives advantage. I forgot to use it.
Mine's an 18. 23.
I rolled an 18. What's your dex? You rolled an 18.
My dex is 14. I'm 15.
Cool. So chip first.
Chip before Elga.

Oh, it's your feral instinct.

It's new at level 7. Your instincts are so honed you have advantage on initiative rolls.

Additionally, if you're surprised at the beginning of combat and aren't incapacitated, you can act normally on your first turn, but only if you enter your rage before doing anything else on that turn.

Oh, good to know. And I'm gonna roll initiative for the hemoglobin.
Do you think professor? I mean uh inspector easer is in the hemogoblin again this time? That'd be embarrassing.

Twice getting hit caught up by the hemogoblin. So hemogoblin will go between Elga and Barney.

Alright, Mateed, before you stands, or not stands, but before you is the giant hemogoblin, laughing maniacally threatening to drown you, which really doesn't leaves, it leaves you non-plussed.

Listen, I spent an hour and a half in the the ground you cannot drown me

yeah okay let's have some fun let's party let's do this you want to go nuts let's go nuts let's go nuts yeah i'm gonna get up on his on his business man i really wish how we defeated him last time we will do it this time i'm gonna attack him with the spear of the superior baker oh just do a nice little nice little attack roll for that attack oh that's only a 13

that hits

that is that is the exact number you need Fantastique. Oh, man.
Bad rolls. Seven is the damage.
That is piercing damage, I assume? Yeah. Yeah.
Magical piercing damage.

I'll do it again. Why not?

11. Well, that is not enough.
Oh, actually, wait. I forgot to do something with that last hit.
I did a hit and did damage, so I can do a stunning strike. Oh, yes.
Why not? If it's the use it.

Stunning strike is when you hit with a melee weapon attack, you can spend a key point to make the target stunned until the end of your next turn if it fails. Con saving throw of DC14.

And spoiler alert, I got another key point.

I have seven. So, how many things could you do now? Well, the key points are the currency, but my limits of actions and turns stay the same.
Okay. Do you have a keychain?

That's pretty good.

That's pretty good.

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So So it's a DC14 you say constitution saving throw? Yeah, why not? I've got a plus three, so I need an 11 or better. Okay.

He rolled a one.

That's a one.

That's a failure, which means the hemogoblin is stunned, which is a stunned creature is incapacitated, can't move, and speak only falteringly.

The creature automatically fails strength and dexterity saving throws, and attacks against the creature have advantage. Okay, so then can I have my next attack at advantage? Yes.

Okay, then I shall roll again. Is it only the next attack or the cumulative will still be stunned? The stunned lasts until the end of your next turn in the team.

Ooh, did you want the monk to stun your character at the top of the ring? No, I've got a lot of immunities, and I read it like four times.

Stun is not in there.

Vancis, 26. That hits.
Take nine magical piercing damage.

Are we able to just kind of perceive if

what they're like

open to attack to what they're vulnerable to are you asking like is there a check to see what a creature you're fighting is like

sorry balder's gate you can just like right click something and examine it and then it'll be like oh this person's like prone to this damage can blain right click the hemokahoblin there is no right clicking but you have encountered this creature before so if you ask on your turn i can probably give you a little bit of a

good question good question you remember when you got that note in your bum bag blain yeah where it said i'm amongst the dead now Yeah. Which is a funny thing that I just remember.

Because she's among, I mean, she's in Parish, right? Yeah. So that's like the dead people.
In the agling. Anyway, sorry.
Complete departure from the. I'm happy to talk to you about character.

That is exactly the kind of thing we should dive into and talk about on Second Wind. Okay, yes.
That is a great thing. I'm a great thing to theorize.
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I'm going to round out this

fight with just a, I'm going to use for flurry of blows almost said flurry of blows I did not write down that nine points of damage I'm gonna let me make sure I get that in here well get ready to write down some more damage because I rolled a 25 that is a hit

and that is nine magical feet damage show feet damage yep show feet damage that's a gnat 20 27 oh my okay so it's a crit that's that crit i'm gonna take a look at the damage you roll and i'll make sure it's modified for the way we do it i rolled a 114 so take away one of the ones and put a six yeah so then that is

11 points of damage. And it emits magical feet damage.
Magical feet damage. It's very important for you to remember that.
But it's like, it's talent. Yeah, talents.
Okay. Talon! Yeah.

Matit's working with them.

I have talents. Matit's foot deep in Talon.
I have many.

The most talented.

Yeah. And I'm just going to stay up in its business.
Alright. I believe that's 32 points of damage total from Matit there, if I'm counting that correctly.
It is nothing.

That's a great start. It's true, it is nothing to the Hemogoblin.
Chip, you're up. He has 550 hit points.
Are they still

proner or whatever? Stunned. Stunned.
Yeah. Okay.

You.

You remember from your previous encounter? I'll tell you what, make me a let's call it a survival check. Survival check.
You got it. That will you survive? He's a four.

Let that be a lesson to all our listeners. Don't neglect your intelligence and wisdom stats.
I always do.

You know, sometimes I do it intentionally because it's like, oh, that's a funny character trait. They're dumb.
And then most of the time it's just like, no, I can't do the basic roles.

I'm going to make a character next round that has zero physical abilities and is just a mind roaming around with you guys. You need that.
Why does four get blame?

You remember you fought this creature before. I knew it good job old foe i mean he did say nice to see you again or something

didn't he since they are stunned i have the assassinate feet you're going to use your feet too to fight you have advantage on attack rolls against any creature that hasn't taken a turn in the combat yet and any hit you score against a creature that is surprised by a critical hit so they haven't taken a turn in combat so i have the assassinate thing correct so i have attack at advantage correct and you have advantage anyway because he's stuck

Uh-huh. Yeah.
But he's going to use his advantage. Okay, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha, gotcha.
So he's his own rogue. Well, no, like...

But also, on... I'm going to use the Kopash of the Desert Storm.
I feel...

The Desert Storm of the Desert Tempest. Yeah.

You gain a plus one bonus to attack rolls. You made this weapon on hit.
On a hit deals an additional 1d4 lightning damage, so I'm hoping that the lightning damage does something.

You know what they say? What happens when you hit a Habel Goblin with lightning?

what does happen

same thing as everything else

god awful writing i love it oh oh oh oh i have sneak attack sorry i'm just throwing all my things at you once per turn you can deal an extra 4d6 is going through his character sheet for you 46 damage to one creature you hit with an attack with a finesse or range weapon if you have advantage on the attack roll so i get an additional 46 to what I'm about to roll.

Correct. And that is an upgrade now that you're level 7.
It was 3d6, I believe. It just became 4d6 now that you're level 7.
Damn. Also, I would have had this anyways because Matid's within 5 feet.

So, I don't know. Whatever.
Let's just roll this. Let's get this bacon.

Let's get a roll on. So that's a.
Well, that's an At 1, so we're going to roll that again. That's a 18.
Critical.

Critical favor. After all of that, good job.
I had advantage.

Because Chip has advantage. But Chip has advantage because of his own ability, so that ends up being an 18.
Okay, so I'll roll for damage.

What'd you roll? That's a four, four, but that's just for the slashing.

And then I get a 1d4 for the lightning. So that's a four.

Where does the four d6 come from?

That's the lightning damage. No, that's your sneak attack.

Sorry, yes, that's not. Just your sneak attack.
So I'm going to roll that now. That is a series of bad numbers.
Nine. Oof.
Yeah.

Two ones.

Yeah. Yeah.
It's okay. It's okay.

That's 13 damage. And then you had to do another one? Uh.
uh...

Uh...

I think that's everything.

Uh, yeah! Okay.

I'm so good at this. Well then, in that case, so good at this.
I will also

use

cunning action, and I'm gonna...

I'm gonna...

I'm gonna hide.

Ooh, okay. Are you moving away or just staying right up there?

I'm gonna hide.

I'll stay nearby. Does this thing had the thing where you made a loud noise and it would like spew blood at you? Is that that was the fountain though that had that? Yes, that is correct.

But I thought that's because it had the hemogoblin in it. Yeah, but that's how since the hemoglobin was attacking through the fountain, that's the way it sounds.

Like it was like you would make noise and it would attack at you. Oh, I forgot about that.
Did that lighting damage do anything extra? Yes, absolutely. Oh, look at Gus.

Straight face. Yes.

Just is always at advantage on persuasion checks.

Do I roll stealth to go into hiding? Sure, roll it and I'll just make a note of it here for now. That's a 20 and a 16.

We'll take my 20. I have advantage because of my sneakers.
Yep. Roll me a perception check, chip.
Oh, yeah? That's a nat 20. There it is.
Minus 19. Whoop, whoop.
You see Carol. What? What? What? Huh?

Where? In the Hemogoblin. Really? What? Uh, okay.

You see Lewis in there, too. What?

Guys, guys, guys.

Like, Lu like the like frost giant? Yeah. The hemo goblin it's got my wife she's in there and that other guy

did weezer get hurt whenever we were attacking the hemoglobin last time or was it like protected

he was protected

yeah after we like finished up he like kind of came out

yeah

just like hey hey gang like let's not like stab too deep all right cuz you might hit my wife

aim for a limb that's not near my wife

Are we able to see through the Hemo Goblin? It's like opaque, so it's like you can't constantly see Lewis and Carol. That's why I didn't say anything earlier.

It's like they kind of like come up to the surface and then like you know, go back in. Do you think it's like warm like a like being in the womb as a baby? Maybe.
Maybe it's very comfortable for them.

All right, so I did the hide, but this is before I knew that that was in there. Otherwise, it would have used a bonus action to maybe like try to reach in there and grab her out.

But if that's too late, it's fine. It's fine.
It's fine. It's too late.
Sorry. It's fine.

You look really

shook enough about that, Gus.

Wish I'd said it earlier and I didn't plan it that way.

We have fun here.

We have fun.

Oh.

Oh, Elga, you're up. After Elga's the hemogoblin, then Barney.
I'm such a big fan of playing Gibson. So only Chip saw that Carol and

he bring it out. My boy! My boy Chip, I'll take care of it! Rage!

I would love to see Elga pull out just like a giant straw and like extend it. Yeah.

A telescoping straw. But yeah, I'm gonna rage.
Okay. Now, Elga would do it like a Jedi Knight coming out and then bringing out their lightsaber.

Straw. How far is the Hemogoblin from me? Not too far away.
We'll say 20 feet. 20 feet.
Okay. You're gonna go play whack-a-carol? Don't you dare.
I won't do that. I am gonna run up to it, though.

Okay. Right up on it.
And then am I able to see Carol or Lewis in there? Make a perception check. Here's hoping.
Nat 20, 24. Dang, two Nat 20 perception checks.

Yeah, you see them both kind of floating relatively near the surface. Okay.
Her beauty shines through.

The most opaque of

things.

The poetry ended.

Giant size seven feet. Yeah.
Could I go to swing to where I'm not going to hit them? Oh, absolutely. Okay.
I'm going to use my great acts of gaining for that. And then go slice.

And then it's a 15. Oh, that hits.
Okay. You slice.
Oh, and you have advantage anyway. Roll that one more time just to see if it crits.
Okay. Yeah.

It does not crit. Okay.
But I rolled 12 points of damage. Okay.

And then... Oh, also when I raged, I took the form of the beast with a tail.
Alright, good to know.

And then I'm going to do another attack. It's 14, but do I get advantage again? Yeah, you do still have advantage to roll that one more time.
Okay.

Oof, 12. Yeah, 14.
14 does that. So you're good.
Okay.

During 13 points of damage. Oh, oh, wait.
I get

add to

for both. So the first one would have been 14, and then this was 15.
So it's another four points of damage total, right? Yeah. Okay.
That's 13 on that one.

Rage for bonus, two attacks. Do you want to move anywhere? I want to stay here.
And I think it would be a bonus, but could I try to reach in to grab Carol? Or would that be a bonus?

Can it be a free action? It would be a bonus, but why not? Let's give it a shot. Okay.

I'm going to try to grab Carol. Make a

unarmed strike. But like, not too hard.
Be gentle. Okay, I'll be very gentle.

16. Oh, sorry, 26.
Oh, man. That's really good.
Yeah. I mean, you see both Lewis and Carol.
Which one are you trying to grab? Carol. Okay, yeah.
You reach in and grab Carol and make a

strength check. I'm going to do it opposed with the Hemogoblin, but I'm.

Oh, wait, he automatically fails because of stun.

Jerry Blapa. Nice.
Creature automatically fails. Right? Yeah, I was going to give you advantage, but no, he's stunned, so he automatically fails out.
Yeah.

Just make a strength check just in general to see if you're able to pull her weight out.

14. You have advantage for Servasion.
On strength checks? Yeah. Don't you? You said it's so convincing, didn't you?

Well, 14 would be the higher roll, so 14. Either way.
Yeah, you're able to grab on and pull Carol out free from the hemogoblin. Carol, I think.

She seems to be unconscious. Elga holds up Carol under the armpits and goes, is this your wife? My wife! It's my wife!

Be so, so careful! She's so tiny! I know, but she's strong. How close was this to us casting the, whenever we healed, what's the dwarf?

How much vitality? Yeah. How much time has passed? Oh, probably 20 minutes.
Okay, never mind. Yeah.
Cool. You have to climb up the trail always.

And then, since she's kind of covered in goo, I imagine, could I kind of like slide her a little, like, away? Like a bowling ball her. Like a curly.
Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, because I don't want her to be too close.

I'm going to say no because you already had the extra action to pour her. Very true.

Okay, so I got it. She looks kind of like Neo when he's removed from the Matrix.
He's got all the goo on him. Is she bald? I set her down just behind me, if that's okay.
Okay, yeah, that's fine. Okay.

That's it for Elga, I assume. It's the Hemogoblin's turn.

Who is stunned? Who did that?

I think he can still attack. Can he attack? They can attack when they're stunned? Oh, wait, does he have to go? No,

so they're incapacitated, which means they can't take actions or reactions.

I hate you. I'm sorry.
It looks like he's got

a kidney stone, you know, because Lewis is a big old rock ice guy. Got him.

Carol, are you you sure this is the guy who wants to be a shot? Hi, honey.

No legendary resistance to make you angry with? I was just going to just start attaching that to every creature we fight.

Alright, yeah. I mean, the hemogoblin can't do anything.
Barney, it's your turn. Then after Barney, we go back up to the top to Matit.
Yeah, I will say that the... Oh, wait, no, it's

can speak only faltering. The hemogoblin goes...

It did not catch that. Could you say that again?

It's not quite coming through. Are you okay? I thought you spoke common.
What is this? Yes.

Speak back to it in its native tongue, Matid.

Barney, you're up then after Barney. Go back up to the top of Matid.
Nothing. Barney's going to

do...

I'm gonna. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna do my spiritual weapon as my bonus action.

Catch that, and that'll make a spiritual weapon in the form of Barney's angry fist.

I think, guys, that you you couldn't do a fist. No, no, I couldn't do a whole cat is what we just.

Can you get the paw and

the paw, so I could do Barney's angry fist. Okay.
And then that punches at

the Hemogoblin. Now, does this giant fist also have carpal tunnel?

Erthritis. Yeah.

And that's...

I shall roll for that. Wait, no, it would just hit him without at advantage, right? Yes.
Okay. This is like super mage hand.
Mage fist. fists.
18. Wait, what was the first one? I already forgot.
17.

Okay, 18. It hits.
I will roll for it. That does seven points of damage.
Alright.

And then, with my turn, I shall cast. Wait, can you cast again? You cast forward to it.
You can use a cantrip, right? Yeah, you can use a cantrip. Yeah.
So I'll use toll of the dead.

Who is it?

And that is two. Oh, wait, oh, I gotta roll to see if it attacks.
I already rolled my damage. It was 16.
So I need to make a wisdom saving throw DC 17.

My wisdom is plus one, so I need a 16 or better.

Three swords of vanish, because it was exist.

No, I fail on strength and dexterity. Not on wisdom.
I rolled a 14, which is a 15. So that fails.
Yeah, so that should do 2d12. I rolled 2d8 and rolled 16.

I'm okay with just leaving the deck because that's...

I mean, that's.

Can you not...

Well, I mean, no, no, I could re-roll it. I rolled...

Do you do 2d8, not 2d12? Right, because normally, if the creature is undamaged, it takes 2d8. But if the creature has taken damage, it takes 2d12.

He's gambling that he can't roll higher than 16 on 2d. You could let him roll 2d4 to make up.
No, 2d12. No, no, because it's different.
I could roll like 2-1. He doesn't get to pick.
Yeah.

So you're going to stick with the 16? Yeah, I still feel like that's... Because that's...
Dance with the one you know.

It's still more than half. Can we treat this like lucky where he could roll the 22 with the 12? Nah, I think I gotta go one way or the other.
16. Yeah.
I'll stick to the 16. Roll me 2D12.

I just want to see what you would have got. I just want to see that.

Just a headache. Just for fun.
Just for whatever's. Yeah.
This is when the power goes out in the building.

19. Hey, you know,

no, no, I didn't. Christian came in.
It was last week. He was so excited.

No, we're sticking with 16. Yeah.
You know, campaign one, Gus would have been like, it's okay, I understand. Now he's like, no, no, I need to hide.

We got to start thinking.

We got to have rules. I rolled two eighths, so I was like, that's pretty good for...
Yeah.

Anyway, the Hemo Goblin wipes the party. It was 3-8 feet away from dying.

The end of Stinky Dragon. Is that it for you? That is the end.

Okay. That is the it.
That is the ick. Alright, up next, we're back to the top with Mate.
Then after Mateed is Chip. Barney got the ick.

Hemo Goblin is no longer stunned. At the end of your turn.
So still stunned through your turn.

You know what? I'm going to start. Agree with the comment section.
Matith's broken.

Yeah, so when you hit with a melee weapon attacking, spend one key point to make the target stunned until the end of your next turn if it feels a constitution saving throw.

Then I will use my bonus action to cast arms of the astral self. And I can use my spectra arms to make unarmed strikes.

But what does happen is that I get to do a little force damage as the arms protrude out.

When you cast arms of the astral self, each creature of your choice that you can see within 10 feet of you must succeed in a deck saving throw DC14 or take 2d6 force damage.

And I believe I automatically failed deck saving throws because of the stun status. That you do.
Alright. Ooh, that's a very good roll.
11. I'm planning to damage that again.
Force.

Alright. Since I'm up on it, I will go ahead and continue to use the spear of the superior baker and I'll just hit it.
That's a 15. I just love how you have that weapon.

Roll it again just because you have advantage. I forgot about that.
That's a 23. Okay.
Yep. You hit.
I roll 10 magical damage. And,

you know, let's just be fun. Let's make that a stein strike again.
This really shows like the evolution of the group, you know, now we're facing them. Yeah,

I said I have because they've been stunned and not been able to use my new abilities. So DC con 14.
Con 14,

my DC is... Or my con is plus three, so I need 11 or better.

Just stabbing this guy. Yeah.
Big old spear. 19.
So I successfully made the save. Okay.
I'm going to do another attack. Curses? Because that's what I do.
I'm going to roll for advantage.

That was a 23. That's a 24.

That hits. That's 10 piercing damage.
Ow.

And that'll be it.

Well, that was a ton of damage. The Hemogoblin is bloodied.
What?

Get it. That's so...
That's fair. What?

Chip, you are up then after Chip is Elka. Okidos.
And the Hemogoblin is no longer stunned. Oh.
You didn't want to just do it again, Matit. I got to save some of my key points.

Matith's still within five feet. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm still right there. Melee damage.
Okay, so then I have sneak attack still. Would they be surprised if I'm coming out of hiding to attack them?

Let me make a check to see if I'm able to see where you are. Good question.
Do I need to roll out an opposing sneaker? You already rolled your sneak. You had a 20 on it? Yes.

And I'm going to make my roll here. Tokyo was writing it down.
Look at you. Yeah, you are successfully hidden.
Cool! Then I'm going to use Swing, the Armblade of Blurbling, who add advantage.

I'm going to roll that. So that's a 16.
And do advantage? Yeah, because of the sneak. Oh, right, right.

16. Yep, got it.
We.

I forgot. He makes his own advantage.
And then I think that this

is 0 T Fling.

That's a 3 for the, I think, piercing. And then I also get 1d4 acid damage.
That's an additional two. Plus, I get 46.

46 for D6.

Oh, 46. That was really Gus going stop for sneak attack.
That is

nine.

You pop out of hiding and take your attacks against the Hemogoblin using your arm blade of blurbling

and you poke him in just the right spots to have him lose his shape and begin dissipating into the ground. How could I be defeated by such buffoons? This whole ploy was in

vain.

Yeah, the tornado of blood collapses. I just imagine Chip just running, steps on his face to just get to Carol.
Doesn't listen, jumps over Lewis, runs straight to Carol.

Chip.

Chip, are you? Are you there? Chip, I said you're what?

I do a baseball slide in. I kind of like, sorry, kick

out of the way and then just like catch Carol instead.

I said you're right.

You kind of get kicked out of the way, Elga, but Lewis, you know, also came out from the demographic.

Good talk to Lewis.

And you kind of stumble backwards onto Lewis. I kind of want Elga to oppose that, but we shouldn't.

Carol, my sweet wife. Though her clothes are soaked in blood, Carol is ghastly white, her frail body gaunt with throbbing green veins.
She looks up at you with a hollow face.

Hey there.

Two.

Chip.

Chipaney.

Said hey there.

A weak smile comes across her face. You notice a sigil on her belt.
Do I, uh, or does Chip recognize the sigil? Why don't you roll a wisdom check? That's a 19 minus one 18.

With a roll that high, I'll tell you that you don't recognize the sigil, but because you don't recognize it, that's why it sticks out to you.

This is something older than knowledge of clan sigils that you know.

You found me.

I'm so so sorry for

everything.

Well, it's up to you now, honey.

Find Sheath.

Complete

my

mission.

I.

I love you, Chip.

Her feeble hand reaches up to touch your face, but it falls to the ground and her body exhales one final breath.

Oh my gosh. Lane, if you want to examine Carol and find out what happened, roll a medicine check on the next episode.

Are you kidding? No, she can't be. Bertie, get a healing spell.

Stat! My scroll of Revivify!

Thank you so much for listening, everybody.

It was an eventful between the tales. Yeah.
I was in tears at the end of the last episode. I am also in tears at the end of this episode.

Are you crying? No!

Yes! I am in touch with my emotions. You're allowed.
That's very healthy. Thank you.
All right, thanks for listening, everybody.

Gurble, gurble.

Stinky. This episode is brought to you by our first members who are pretty awesome.
We got amazing little stinkers like Gin Collects, Aurak 13, Rose 8, Juan Person 1, or Roll for Backflip 916.

They all directly support the show. And if you didn't know, they get access to more content like Second Win.

They get to be on our subscriber-only Discord channels and attend our subscriber-only events and so much more again you can find that all at stinkydragonpod.com slash first we can't thank you enough for your support that lets us make this very stinky show listeners who interact with us on social media and discord they had npcs named after them in this episode like charlie graves the weak ankle dwarf we got that from goshkali graves on reddit additionally carol haney is voiced by laura rothimel at laura rothimel and hemogoblin the blood elemental is voiced by mikey spandex at mikey spandex 1992.

The Stinky Dragon channel is managed by Ben Ernst.

This episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon was produced by Kai Cook, written and edited, and composed by Micah Reisinger, with additional editing work by David Sonia.

Head on over to stinkydragonpod.com/slash first for allthing stinky. Tune in next time for another thrilling episode of Tales from the Stinky Dragon.

I missed the fact that we didn't get to do a coffee cocktail because today I had a coffee experience that was very cool.

I went to HEB and I became an adult because I used the coffee bean mixer.

No, the mixer, apparently. But it was like that's something I've always seen adults do.
And I never, I was always afraid. It's a big, scary, loud machine.
Big boy, beef for blame, bee for big boy.

So I opened up a bag of beans, felt so wrong, poured it in.

You did it before you purchased it? Yeah, that's what you said.

Gus, you ruined it. I had him.
I had him. I realized it as soon as I said it.

Audience, you couldn't hear this, but if you could, you would have, you would have heard Blaine's soul leaving his body.

At Arizona State University, we're bringing world-class education from our globally acclaimed faculty to you. Earn your degree from the nation's most innovative university.
Online.

That's a degree better. Learn more at asuonline.asu.edu.