#633: The Gay Corpse
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Transcript
Hey, Walt here with a very, very time-urgent request.
I need any Patreon subscribers in the $60 and $100 tier to please, please, please go fill out your sweatpants size poll.
I really need that filled out ASAP.
And speaking of Patreon, we have some top-tier TESD Town content coming your way this week.
And I thought I'd also give you a little peek at some of the shows coming out this summer.
But this week, it's rock and roll all night and podcast every day.
And we are covering the Kiss album Asylum, reviewing each and every song.
And I will pull the curtain back because this is without a doubt my least favorite Kiss album ever.
So if you hate Kiss and you want to hear me bash Kiss, then this is the episode for you.
Some other highlights coming soon on the Patreon.
Brian Nichelle's Time Capsule, Capsule, Capsule.
A new show hosted by the man who hosts Tales from Behind the Fake Counter, which puts one singular item, and that item can be a movie, an album, an episode of a TV show, a book, a comic book under the microscope to determine if it's time capsule worthy.
And what other Tesde Town residents will be on the capsule board joining Mr.
Nichelle?
Well, you'll just have to tune in and find out.
We are having a Tesde Town Gong Show on the all-new Sunday Jeff Show, and almost all the Tesde Town residents showed up in force to participate with talents that will both shock and amaze you.
We're doing a Jimmy the Hair Guy alternate hair story month where we look at four listener Patreon favorite shows where we insert Jimmy into the cast to see how these shows might have looked with the hair guy injected into the mix.
You can also look forward to the return of Third Eye Radio, Radio, Radio, Radio, as Dave Windorf and yours truly do a deep dive on the career of Steve Ditko, as well as you can listen to Dave and I froth at the mouth for our love of 1981's Road Warrior.
Whew!
That is a ton of content, all for the low, low price of five bucks a month.
All right, I'm pooped from all this shilling.
I gotta go lie down.
Thanks.
Some psychopath that's gonna come and murder us all, so be it.
Dead bodies will not get fucked up in my city.
Good stuff, Amy Schumer.
Tell him, Steve, Dave.
Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.
I'm here with Walt.
Yo.
And via Zoom or StreamYard, actually, BQ Quinn.
Yellow.
Hello.
Hey.
You're doing all right?
I hate to not be in there.
You look worn out.
You know,
it's back to work, worker five days a week.
You know, I didn't catch up like the 10 hours yesterday.
I'm like.
Because you're dipping out of a writer's meeting for this, you said.
Yeah, I was in the writer's room all day, and I'm jumping out for this, and then I got to go back in,
you know.
But it's good.
Fun stuff.
You know, there you go.
That's the kind of commitment BQ has, Walt.
I mean, I've never questioned it.
I didn't think so.
I don't think so.
Well, thank you, boys.
Thank you.
I'm going to see Hart tonight at Radio City.
Any thoughts or comments on Hart?
I like Hart, so I'm not going to mock you.
Okay.
All right.
The Wilson sisters, come on now.
Walt, yeah.
And I'm not going to mock you, but I have seen some photos or some video of Hart playing in 2025.
Yeah.
Is it more like heart attack?
It's not the heart of the 70s that I remember.
I think she was sitting down for most of the performance.
Yeah, well, I mean, what's my 80s?
Yeah, like, what am I going to do?
She's still up there playing, you know?
Let me hear it.
Let me hear alone.
Let me hear alone.
Play it.
Alone?
Was that your favorite heart song?
Well, I just picked any heart song, you know.
So you're telling me you like the heart of the 90s more than the 70s?
No, I just picked a song, man.
Okay, all right.
I didn't think I'd have to answer for it.
I forgot where I was.
What is your favorite?
But yeah, I do like alone.
Alone.
I think alone.
Yeah.
No,
I was saying that just to put a button on the joke there.
I mean, you know, that's all.
Yeah, Barracuda, a little overplayed for me in my life.
You know what I mean?
So if they don't play Barracuda tonight, you're going to feel like you got your buddies worth?
No, I want Barracuda.
Give it to me.
Give it to me.
Sit down on that fucking stool or whatever and give me Barracuda.
I want it.
I forget about the 80s heart that I wasn't that crazy about.
What About Love?
Oh, yeah, the 80s is really.
These dreams.
They have a ton of hits in the 80s.
You love that shit?
These dreams is awesome?
You don't like that?
I'm not a big 80s heart fan.
I think it might have been the overplaying on MTV had something to do with it, too.
When you compare it to the heart of the 70s,
it's not even comparable,
comparable.
Is that right?
Yeah.
Well, why?
Because the heart of the 70s is pure fucking rock.
Balls out.
You know, and then all of a sudden they're like, we need hits.
Oh, let's chase the radio hits.
Let's chase Q.
They chased them.
They got the hits and they got me.
Dude, these dreams, all I want to do is make love to you.
What about love?
Never?
I mean, those are all the 80s.
They're all sugary fucking ballad garbage.
Yeah.
Yeah.
They're not getting on stage at Radio City and playing Magic Man and Crazy.
Crazy on You.
Yeah, they got to play that.
Look, I like it all, man.
I don't want to turn the 70s versus the 80s.
It's hard.
You'll literally realize you were this bad.
That's a tough battle.
I knew I'd get something out of this.
I knew if I just said I was going to see hard, something would come.
Where'd they play it at?
Radio City, Radio City Music Hall.
I wonder what the crowd is.
I mean, again, they have a massive amount of hits under their belts.
Yeah.
Sure.
But you rarely hear anyone talk about them.
This is the first time anybody's ever spoken aloud, like in person.
Everyone's mentioned heart to me out loud in a sentence.
Well, maybe they didn't tour for a long time and they needed money, so they were like, let's get out there and fucking jam.
But I don't know.
I don't know.
I'm excited to go.
Yeah, I wonder how they're doing this.
You know, I'm doing this.
I heard him on Howard Stern not too long ago.
They sounded pretty good.
Yeah.
Yeah, I guess it's just like what I keep saying where it's like anytime one of these groups that you don't know how much more are going to be touring come to town, if I could see him, I'd try and see him.
I saw Barry Manilow, you know, not too long ago.
I'm just like, dude, get him.
Let me see him before they don't tour anymore, you know?
That's a good point.
Like, you don't think about that when you're younger.
Like, when you're 20 and you're going to a rock concert, it doesn't occur to you like this could be the last time these guys are playing live in my area.
Yeah, but as you get older, yeah, that starts to happen.
Well, it goes back to that thing of like I had tickets, I was in LA, I had tickets to Tom Petty's last concert, and I didn't go.
I was like, I'm only in LA for a few days, I'm gonna go see my friends, and then he was dead two weeks later.
So, I'm trying, you know, I was burned.
Learned your lesson.
Do you know what Magic Man's about?
Uh, isn't it just about getting laid?
Well, I mean,
not yes and no.
It's about
her leaving home.
I think she left home to join Hart at an extremely young age.
And her mother begged her not to go, and there was nothing she could do.
And she would call her on the phone.
And that's like her telling her mother that she's not coming home, that this guy's a mad.
She's in love with the guy in the band.
The magic man.
And
it's such a good song.
Yeah, I'm looking at the lyrics right now.
They're pretty good.
I wonder if she had listened to her mom and gone back home.
Like, what wah wah would she be working at today?
You know.
It's usually true, though.
Like, usually if a kid's like, I'm going out, I'm going to do my own thing.
I'm going to make my own way.
It's usually a bad idea.
It is.
Like, for every heart story,
for every girl that ran away and joined a band, and they didn't become fuck a worldwide superstar heart.
Yeah,
they got used and abused by everybody in the band, and fuck it.
And then they went home eventually, anyway, broken.
You were right, mom.
And spirit ended fucking pocketbook.
Let me get, let me get, let me get my
job application into Wawa, mom.
You must not, a magic man.
Yeah, no, but I'm, you know, I'm excited.
It's actually kind of a fucking 70s, 80s type day because there's this restaurant in Times Square that was a
revolving.
Remember revolving restaurants?
Sure.
And how they like swept the nation?
Well, there's this one in Manhattan that's been inactive.
Like they haven't even fired it up in like 20 years.
And they fixed it, all the hydraulics and stuff, and they started working it.
So there's now a rotating restaurant again in New York City.
So I'm going to go tonight and just sit there and fucking crab rancoun and spin
around.
Do you really want to be one of the first to get back on the fucking hamster wheel?
Because it goes nuts.
Yeah, and you're not worried about getting fucking,
you know, it breaking and you go flying through a window and you know, fall into the water.
Some final destination type of death.
No, what a way to go, man.
Like, I would be a proud to die that way.
Like, yeah, this motherfucker.
He ordered Crab Rangoon and they shot him out onto 42nd Street from the 13th floor.
I always knew it would end this way.
He hit the ground.
He hit the ground.
The fucking crab rangoon landed near him.
His last move was to just get his hand towards
the red.
Oh, God, I can't wait.
Why do you think if you own a restaurant that has that kind of mechanism in it, you let it
go dark or whatever you want to say?
You don't fire it up for 30 years?
It It probably, I think it became sort of kitschy and gimmicky.
You know what I mean?
In a way where people are like, we don't want to be like, we're in New York City, we're in Times Square, we're trying to build a reputable place here.
You know, why don't we shut down the gimmick?
Might have been expensive.
Parts are hard to get.
I don't know, but they're back, maybe.
That would have been my guess.
Like it broke and they're like, fuck this shit.
It's not worth it.
Like they were not in
salad days or whatever.
You think it could cost tens of thousands to fix something like that?
Oh, yeah.
I bet you like one little thing goes wrong and you're like, fuck.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But
I read an article about this place, and they said that
the mechanicals were in surprisingly great shape, and it started up right away.
So then they had to shut it down and fix all the
hydraulics and whatnot.
It was pretty interesting.
So
how fast do you think they can get it up to?
They say it takes like 45 minutes to do a full rotation.
So it's not fast.
But I don't know how fast they can get it up to.
you know.
Um,
that'd be cool to find out, though.
I'll ask, I'll ask tonight when I'm there.
You get a private tour?
No, no, no, I didn't, I didn't go that route, I just made reservations.
Yeah,
I thought I'm hoping when I get there.
I thought I remembered something.
Can I fire it up?
Like he's opening the stock exchange or something,
ringing the bell.
I thought I remembered something like this: Worst Nightmare: Parents Sue Hotel after a five-year-old boy killed in a rotating restaurant.
This is back in 2017.
Oh, when was that?
That was back in 2017.
I guess he fell between the wall and like the
big platform that it's on.
His skull is crushed in the rotating wall of a hotel restaurant.
That's a one of those.
Where was that?
That was in, I think it was an Atlanta hotel.
Oof.
So maybe that's why.
Maybe.
That has to be
a billion fucking accident, right?
Yeah.
Yeah, you think that like that family, now it's been what?
It's been 12 years since that happened, and I'm sure the parents are still sitting there going, like, a fucking revolving restaurant?
So statistically, what are the chances?
Yeah, it's got to be almost impossible.
Oh, God.
The dad says you heard his son's skull crack before somebody finally stopped the rotation.
Can you imagine that shit?
No, no, I cannot.
No.
It's cute.
It's awful, man.
Ask for a table away from the wall.
Yeah, definitely.
Make sure.
You got to go to the bathroom, you trip.
God forbid.
No.
This big head, this big head will break the fucking machinery.
They'll be like, God damn it.
Oh, well,
we're dark again for another fucking 18 years because
impractical jokers had to fucking sit next to the wall.
Like instead of crushing it still, it burns out the engine.
The motor's smoking.
Somebody get me my rangoon.
The CO from the smoke kills everybody in the restaurant, but I'm fine with my heads safely underneath.
Close enough to the ground.
I'm getting my grab rangoon, right?
This doesn't change anything.
Yeah, yeah.
Put everything in a doggy bag.
I'm going to see Hawk.
Throw a cup of Advil in there too.
My head hurts.
I'm not paying for that.
That Advil's on the house.
Wow.
So Walt went to see Stranger Things.
Oh, shit.
How was it, bud?
Oh, my.
I cannot say enough great things about it.
So ambitious,
so intense,
so dark
that I was
completely just blown away.
I'm like, because I saw a lot of kids there, like not real tiny kids, but you know, like 10 to 15.
I guess if they're into the show, they kind of get the vibe.
But there is something a little bit more disturbing about dead animals in bags and stuff on stage, though, when you see the bloody bag and everything.
I know it's fake animals, but it's intense.
And so
is it about it's about a, it's a prequel?
It is a prequel.
It is the origin story of Vector or Vector.
Remember that?
It's
Henry Creed or Creel.
It's how he became the big villain.
Okay.
So what they do, which is really, really ingenious and just a really, because I thought it was going to be
set in the 80s, just like the TV show, but it's not.
It's set in the 50s.
That's pretty cool.
That's cool.
That's cool.
So what they do is, you know how they implemented and got all that pop culture from the 80s.
They just kept throwing it at you in the TV show
with songs and everything.
Well, they do that, but instead of the 80s, it's just the 50s.
That's cool.
Yeah, it was very, very well done.
And you were right.
There was no singing in it.
Oh, there's no singing group.
There was no singing, which is very,
it's very,
and it's almost three hours long.
And some of the intense acting of like the the kid who becomes the monster of having to write and have like these
like conniptions
yeah you just see him spitting like you can see it in the lights him like going into character of like writhing on the ground and in
like well as he goes into a different dimension and shit yeah and his body kind of like moving and popping because to try to get that that feeling of like his bones are breaking and shit
so fucking dope they have a fucking gigantic battleship in the beginning of the opens up with a battleship in the, and they're doing a Philadelphia experiment.
And the battleship
only on stage for like less than five minutes.
But they made it out.
But they made it.
And they're just like, what are you going to do with that?
No.
I mean, it took up the entire stage.
This gigantic battleship.
That moves.
It moves.
And the lights make it move.
It's kind of like a strobe effect.
And
yeah,
I wish everything I saw was as intense as this.
Like, it was worth every penny.
Could you go see it if you weren't familiar with Stranger Things?
Would you enjoy it as much?
I think so.
Well, you're not familiar with it, then you still.
Oh, no, I am.
I'm saying if a person weren't, though.
Maybe not because.
Well, what it is, is you remember Hopper and what's her name's character Renona Riders?
Yeah.
Well, their characters are in it as teenagers in high school.
That's interesting.
So it's pretty dope.
And like they don't have major, like they're major characters, but they actually don't, they don't solve anything,
but they're always there like interacting with the two, like the female and the and the Henry Chris.
Oh, that's cool.
Yeah, like I can't say enough good things about it.
It was fucking dope.
Now,
just for clarification, the Philadelphia experiment was their attempt at time travel or something, right?
Wasn't that?
Yeah.
Yeah.
And when, so Henry, so it's Victor Creel
is on the boat.
He's the captain during the Philadelphia experiment.
And they, they, and they show you going, they try to show the ship going to another dimension on stage.
Oh, wow.
And it's fucking, it's so fucking cool.
And when he comes back, he moves to this small town in Indiana and has a family and this captain, but he comes back changed.
He has his blood, they say, it changed his blood or whatever, like up blood, a type you've never seen before.
So when he has kids,
his kids are kind of like cursed.
And
that kid becomes the gateway to
opening up that doorway to the hell dimension in
Oh, very cool.
I got to go see it.
Yeah, and it takes you up to the point where that guy, that kid who becomes,
what's his name?
Vector?
He meets 11, and that's that's the end of the play.
Oh, very cool.
You know what I don't like, though, and some things?
I don't like when you try to humanize villains.
Why?
I don't know.
Because
I like an old-fashioned fucking evil villain.
I don't need to feel sorry for a fucking murderer.
You know, I don't like that.
I don't like the attempt to make you go, well,
he murdered hundreds of animals and his parents and his sister.
But I should feel sorry for him.
But they still do it pretty well, though, in this, though.
Did they get you?
Yeah,
I like when they do that.
Yeah, man.
Humanize a villain?
Yeah, I like it.
I mean, Hans Gruber and Die Hard, he was pretty humanized, wasn't he?
It turned out interesting shit.
Or it's like a family guy.
What's that?
Like history of violence.
It's a family guy.
Or like Liszt?
Or like List.
Yeah, you can't humanize List.
I mean, in today's world, you attempt to, though, I think.
Well,
you like it like Lex Luther lost his hair and that just turned him into a fucking asshole.
Like, that's it, right?
That's all you need?
I mean, I will say, yeah, it's, I prefer something a little bit more pivotal than, you know, losing your hair
in an attempt to save your life.
I do feel that maybe he was a little bit overboard and kind of he was probably bent to begin with.
Isn't there some versions of Superman where like he goes to blow something out and it blows Luther's hair off?
And that's how he got walled.
Yeah, that's exactly how it was.
The very first origin story of Luther, which they've kind of taken,
that's not cated anymore.
Yeah, Superboy.
He was experimenting.
Luther was experimenting with shit as a teenager in his bedroom
with chemicals.
Chemicals.
Join the club.
And there was an explosion and the house was on fire.
Superboy came came in and with his super breath blew out the fire.
But while blowing out the fire, he blew out
Luther's hair.
And it never grew back.
And he hated Superboy for that.
Even though he saved his life.
And vowed to kill him for that.
Because he blew his hair up.
A lifelong obsession, it became to kill Superman.
It's actually kind of a way more interesting origin than, like, he doesn't like that Superman looks down on him.
Like, it says so much more about Luther
that way.
It's funny.
Speaking of losing hair, I want to see if we have in the bank account enough because we do it on Patreon Q, we do this series called Bride Tries,
where I go and try different things.
You know, like just recently I tried juggling.
Somebody tried to teach me how to juggle.
And then me and Walt sit down and we go over like if that's the right hobby for me.
So I want to see.
Sure, I know.
I want to see in the bank account if we have enough for Bride Tries hair plugs.
Because my fucking walt spot, dude, I got a picture back from Key West.
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.
Really?
I didn't even know you had it.
You're so fucking tall, dude.
Nobody could see it anyway.
It's only as soon as I sit down, people are like, oh,
I don't know about this.
Ew.
We may not have enough for hair plugs, but I can get you a really good toupee.
Or what about the Ron Pope Heal shit where you just spray it?
We can afford that.
Okay.
Bry tries to be human.
But didn't like, don't they have that thing in Turkey where you can go for like, it's like $2,000 you go and it's like, it's the best place in the world to do it?
Good up saying saying yes.
Yeah, we know people who have done it.
We do.
Oh, yes, we do.
Yeah, I don't know if we want to reveal their name on the air, you know, but we know we know people who have gone to Turkey and got it.
So
maybe.
Let's see how much it is, dude.
Bright dries hair plugs.
In Turkey, they love cats, too.
There's cats everywhere.
Ah, it sounds nice.
You don't want to get down in Turkey and then get in trouble or something and get thrown to a Turkish prison.
That's true.
Yeah, I come back with hair strapped under my
shirt and stuff like two pace.
All right, let me read some.
I'm going to read some sexy ads and then I got a sexy story for you.
Oh, nice to see what you guys think about this.
Let's see.
Where are the ads here?
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Now, how come Adam and Eve isn't sending us samples of this?
I don't know.
That's a good question because we do get samples from other people.
But yeah, Adam and Eve has never sent us a free plug or anything.
Are we doing a golf week?
Yeah, man.
No, not today.
Okay, I was going to say, because I didn't want to talk about the golf.
I mean, when I got the golf shirt sample,
it was so funny.
My wife opened the bag, and she's like, why did you order a shirt with a collar?
And I was like, what?
I go, what do you mean?
I go, I didn't order any shirt.
She goes, it has has your name on it.
She goes, you didn't buy this?
And I was like, no.
I go, why would I buy that?
There was no note or anything.
Oh, you should have totally went for it and been like, oh, I'm just trying a little look.
What's a big deal?
I couldn't figure out.
It took me so long.
You don't know where it was from.
I was like, I don't know where this is from.
I said.
What a nice shirt, though, man.
Because I actually did wear it.
Yeah.
I've been experimenting with collared shirts recently.
I gave mine to the only man I know that wears a collared shirt.
It was Frank Five.
Frank Five?
Yeah.
He'll enjoy it.
He'll put it to use.
Yeah.
Yeah.
I didn't want to say that last week during the actual ad.
We didn't have the ad last week.
Did we?
Yeah, I thought we did.
Jiggy was here, wasn't he?
Who was?
Oh, yeah, that's right.
Jiggy was here.
You're right.
Okay.
My mind.
You're right.
My mind.
Who are you?
What's going on here?
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I'm not sure if you want that.
I don't know what my neighbor's feet look like.
You'll have to move towns.
My neighbor's a 67-year-old man.
I don't know if I want to be known around town as I knocked his socks off with my Moochu prowess.
Word spreads throughout the neighborhood.
Hear about old Joe.
His socks got knocked off by that Flanagan guy.
Came out wearing a collared shirt with blue choice.
He can't get his socks on.
Yeah, I don't know how it's going to knock your neighbor's socks off.
That's a pretty bold claim.
You'll have to move towns with the amount of noise you'll be making.
You're going to have to move, Walt.
Here is a sound ordinance.
Can't be good.
Rigorous lovemaking is definitely one of the top
things that they ask you not to exceed certain decibels in port mom.
Oops, should I say port mom?
That's too late.
Anyway, everybody fucking knows where to get the Patreon gifts from.
My address is on it.
Yeah, I've never had a problem.
Like a lot of people, they want to protect their, you know, their address.
I wanted to, but then we couldn't figure out how to get it off fucking ship station.
We couldn't, and then we couldn't mail it without having it on here.
And eventually it's like, fuck it.
If some psychopath is going to come and murder us all, so be it.
I can't fucking, I can't.
I'm tired of fucking trying to get them to change the address.
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You know, I was thinking about people who don't like to swallow pills because I'm one of of those guys.
I wonder why if Blue Chew could make like a spray where you just spray it on your bone.
Well, it's not a boner yet, but you just spray it on your flaccid thing,
and then all of a sudden it rises.
I have a pill aversion.
I don't know if you knew this.
I didn't know that.
No, pills were
chewable.
So you don't have to swallow pills.
I'm sure they taste great.
They put an endorsement.
Can we get another read on that wall?
But a nice little spray pump, you know, you just keep it by your nightstand.
Yeah, you can make it minty tasting too for her.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Or it looks like the fucking liquid that you put a comb in at the barbershop.
A barbershop.
Yeah, that's it because it's a blue liquid, I assume.
If it's a blue chew, they want it to be a blue liquid.
And you just tell, you can tell, like, if your mom comes over, you'd be like, oh, no, that's just for my combs.
That's not a boner spray.
You're leaving it out?
Yeah, I was wondering.
My combs.
Hock them,
there are no combs in it.
And
there's a spray attachment on top.
There's just a lot of pupic hairs in it.
Right, I dip my dick in it to get a whole boner.
That's not bad, though.
That could be
another
way to deliver the system, you know?
Right.
we might get rich off that yeah nobody steal that because aren't blue chew pills are the size of horse pills no they're pretty small actually
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Now,
the sexy story, as promised.
Oh, yeah.
Give it to me.
So this happened in New York, Walt.
I was just there.
First time in over 18 months.
Really?
Yeah.
Yeah, I haven't been there a long time either myself.
Hooch!
Indeed.
Quartz was sexually abused on New York City subway.
I saw this.
Did you see this story?
No, I saw it happen on the train up to see Stranger Things.
Get out of here.
You were there.
I'm not kidding.
I heard about this story here.
Oh, this is fucked up.
Have you heard about it?
Wait, what happened?
So,
a strap hanger, he was on the R train, which I guess is a subway, right?
Sure, yeah.
Was a hardworking dad whose presence is dearly missed by loved ones.
Now, what happened was he was remembered as a family man who had so many dreams before the 37 mysteriously died on the subway, and his corpse was sexually abused by another man.
He wasn't just a, okay, he wasn't just a, we don't need to read about him.
Uh,
he had been suffering.
He was battling alcoholism and he had cirrhosis, so that pretty much caught up to him.
Do you know how much you have to fucking drink to be be 37 and have cirrhosis already?
A lot, right, Giddem?
Yeah, even Gidem doesn't have cirrhosis.
He's got cirrhosis of the elbow.
Yeah, that is very difficult to fix, evidently.
The Twisted Fiend remains on the loose, so he stumbled across him at about midnight one night and started.
He saw that the guy was knocked out and he robbed him.
or robbed whatever the other people hadn't robbed already because he got robbed by several people, evidently.
And uh the this this guy who's on the loose still evidently pulled down his pants and had sex with uh not only one but two orifices from what i read oh my god the guy was dead
people were still yeah the guy was already dead and anytime people got on the train like he would stop but then if they got off he would start going again now how did he get caught was there cameras i think there was cameras yeah yeah there's cameras in the subways now right yeah security footage captured the sickening moment the suspect engaged in sexual acts with the victim
and they have a picture of the guy
and they haven't been able to catch him yet.
A pretty decent picture, too.
Like, this is the picture.
It doesn't look, you know?
I mean, it's not that blurry.
Yeah, but his face is, I mean,
we don't know if he has hair.
We don't know.
Right.
He's got a hoodie on and then a hood over the hoodie.
I don't understand what's going through some person's mind to do that to a lifeless body.
I want this person off the streets.
He's willing to do that.
What else is he willing to do?
says the wife.
Oh, he's willing to do fucking just about anything.
Pretty much anything.
Yeah, I think he's proven that.
Yeah.
Like, where do you go beyond that?
Q, you're the mayor.
You're the big apple.
Are you putting out a,
is this a manhunt?
I'm campaigning on this.
I'm like
for re-election.
I'm like,
you know, men will not, dead bodies will not get fucked in my city.
And would you put a task force together justifying this guy?
How much resources are you willing to put towards capturing this fucking man?
He
dead body?
Not too many.
Not too many.
I mean, how many opportunities is this guy going to get to strike?
You know, it's like,
I don't know.
I'd rather go after a guy who rapes living people than someone who rapes corpses.
I mean, it's not that far to think that he probably has that, has done living as well as dead.
Or he's at least planning on it.
Yeah.
Oh, I think
I think I'm diverting people away from all sorts of cases to find this guy.
Yeah.
Yeah.
He's got to be found.
Only because we need to know who this guy is so we can fucking ask him questions.
Like, what is going on?
Dude, what's up?
How do you get it?
Like, how do you?
How do you get hard enough?
Like, maybe he's a blue chew.
Maybe he's kind of hard to get out of here.
Many circumstances.
I wonder if he just thought the guy was passed out.
That could be.
But
still.
No, it's fucking weird.
But it is.
I wonder if the guy's reading the paper somewhere being like, that guy was dead?
Oh, that's how he's
disgusted with his own behavior.
He's like, I fucked a dead guy.
And now they're looking for me.
Oh, fuck you.
They got a good picture of me.
Look.
Is this guy sweating bullets?
I would think so, yeah.
This is a story that fades away, though.
Probably by next week, no one's even looking for him.
No.
Yeah, probably.
Because Because there's something new just happened, and now they're looking for that guy instead.
They said they're also looking for a woman who was seen rummaging through his pockets, so more than one person robbed him or tried to rob him anyway.
He,
you think we go back to that guy who heard his son's skull crack with the restaurant, and him 13 years later, being like, he can't get over it.
Like, what is the family like at the funeral?
That body's in the coffin.
Is anybody looking at it thinking anything other than that's a gay corpse
if I were the family?
Oh, I mean, that's my dad, and he got fucked on a side.
I mean, how do you even process?
You have to go for cremation, right?
You can't have an open casket.
No, you can't.
I would have asked the authorities not to release his name.
Yeah, that would have been nice.
Right?
Yeah, I mean, there's really no, like, we don't need to know his name.
Yeah, we don't know.
Because we don't know him anyway.
The people who know him, they know him.
Yeah.
And now they're like, oh, my God, that happened.
Exactly.
There's no reason to reveal his name.
Yeah.
And you know, there are some people that hated him that are happy about it.
They're like, good, fuck him.
Fuck that drunk is what they're saying.
Yeah, he's an asshole.
He started a bar fight with me fucking five years ago.
I'm glad his corpse got fucked.
Defiant.
There are people like that.
Yeah.
There are plenty of people like that out there.
Yeah, what do you do?
What if you're going to see Stranger Things and you do stumble across it?
Well, you don't take the subway, right?
You would never be in the subway?
I've been on the subway once recently.
Not recently.
You take the subway.
I don't not take the subway.
I usually don't.
But I'll take the subway if I need to.
I like, you know, trains, baby.
I like being down.
That's true, yeah.
Trains go.
Yeah.
But no, generally I drive.
Right.
I would try to rally the other passengers around.
If I'm going to take them out, I'm be like, hey, I need you to help me.
Pull him off.
Yeah,
we need to take this guy down and hold on to him so we can hold till authorities get here.
And Deb is saying to you, don't you even fucking think about it.
Let's get off this train at the next stop.
I don't care where we are.
What if you start approaching him and he's like, you take another step and you're next, motherfucker?
Take a step or two back.
That's it.
I don't want to be the next guy.
I don't know if he killed him.
You know what?
I'd be like, I ain't going to be as easy as a dead motherfucker.
You're going to to get into my fucking asshole.
You're going to have to fucking
have to break a sweat.
You're just fucking over there.
You know,
it's going in real easy on that fucking dead guy.
It ain't going to go that way.
You're going to know you fucking, we're in for a battle.
I'll win.
It would be.
I think that's a battle you could win.
On the subway, you know, enough people would be like, yo, yo, what's going on?
You know?
I saw, speaking of subways, I saw Bernard Goetz just turn 77.
Bernie Goetz.
I didn't know you were still alive.
Yeah, still alive.
If you don't know who that is, in the 80s, it was a very famous case where
the subways were like Fort Apache, right?
It was just.
I mean, so we were told.
We were never on.
We were never on them, no.
But if you look at pictures and you read articles and see news footage from the time, you can pretty much surmise that it was not a good place to be.
And wait, what was I just talking about?
I just.
And so this guy, Bernie Goetz, was tired of being harassed and victimized, so he brought a gun.
He bought a gun and he went on the subway.
And of course, a couple of youths with, I think they had like ice picks or knives or something.
Screwdrivers, screwdrivers, yeah, screwdrivers.
Sharpened screwdrivers, you're right.
And threatened him, and they, so he pulls out his gun.
And this is where it got dicey: they started to run away, and he shot them in the back.
And I think three of them survived, and one survived with some like brain damage or
injuries or something.
How old is he?
77.
Wow, he wasn't that much older than us then,
when this happened then.
Well, he's 20 years older than us, so when this happened, I think it was 1985, so he would have been about 17.
So, yeah,
he would have been, yeah, wait a second.
20 plus 17.
Yeah, boy.
Snooch to the nooch, Bernie.
So, anyway, yeah, Bernie.
Now,
there's another story, and I don't know how you guys feel about this.
But I've often taken lumps for being for being anti-woke, being anti-PC, hating all that shit.
So, when I saw that an all-woman crew went to space,
I wasn't like, fuck the women.
I didn't think anything of it.
I didn't think it was woke, I didn't think it was PC, I didn't think it was any of that.
I was like, oh, it's pretty cool.
Like, they go up to space, and like, they're even though they're there for only 11 minutes or 11, 11 minutes, or whatever.
Was there a singer on it?
Katie Perry was on it, yeah.
Who took lumps?
Katie Perry, all these women took lumps for going on this this flight what is that noise you hear that yeah i think it's like this oh are you scratching something q no it sounds like
it it sounds like i don't hear anything like feedback or like we're getting somebody else doing hearing somebody oh like somebody else's yeah now it's uh yeah now it's gone
i don't hear anything okay yeah i think it went away so anyway when i when i see this i'm like wow what a what a step for women right like an all-woman crew all women uh they were calling themselves astronauts which i think some astronauts took offense with.
But I see this, and I could not believe the outpouring of hate for these women who went on this.
It's a little hating.
Because they're like, you could be doing other things.
What's the big deal about going to space?
You could be saving the environment.
What the fuck is that fucking noise?
I apologize.
I don't know what it is, everybody.
I don't hear.
I'm getting nothing on my end.
Yeah, we're hearing it on this end, I think.
Yeah, it's not on you.
Huh.
All right, anyway.
It takes some fucking going ads, though, to get up.
Jekyll fixed that.
To get up
and get into a capsule and go into space, though.
I wouldn't do it.
No way.
And I'm not afraid to fly, but I would not do it.
I think it takes some balls to get up there and do that shit.
And I agree with you.
I could not believe it, especially since they were women.
I was just like, I can't believe it.
Like, if it was like eight white guys, middle-aged, like, I would totally understand.
I think it's just that it's not that big of a deal, and they don't like Bezos.
It was like a Bezos rocket.
But didn't Shatner just go up with Bezos?
He didn't hear people being like, fucking Shatner.
People were excited.
No, like when Katy Perry got out, she kissed the ground and everybody was like, oh, fuck you.
You were only up there for 11 minutes.
I mean, what?
And they're like, it was amazing.
We could see the moon.
We could see this.
We could see that.
And I was like, when the fuck did the world turn into like not being amazed that we could go to outer space?
Dude, I think.
And that regular people are doing it now.
Like, you don't have to even be specially trained astronaut.
Like, you could just take a ride as a
regular pedestrian.
It is interesting because you're like, you would think that people would be excited because the more,
not that they're regular Joes, but the more non-astronauts go up there, the closer we're getting to everybody being getting up there.
Sure.
It's interesting.
I wonder.
I think it's because it's really for like the super privileged and wealthy.
Like, Bezos' girlfriend was one of the people on it.
Yeah, because it costs fucking billions of dollars.
So they have to, it's like everything else.
Like the costs have to come down after the original people are using it.
And, you know, the shit costs money and then it trickles down to the rest of us.
I don't understand why people are upset.
Like, I don't get it.
I don't get it either.
Gail King is another one that was on there.
Oprah was crying when they landed.
But I thought everybody loved that.
Oprah was just there to see her friend land or take off and land, I guess.
Pop star Katie Perry, Lauren Sanchez, former NASA rocket scientist Alicia Bo, a film producer Carrie-Ann Flynn, journalist Gail King, and bioastronautics researcher Amanda.
I'm not even going to try to pronounce that last Vietnamese name.
I don't know how to pronounce it.
However, celebrities like Amy Schumer, Olivia Wilde, and Olivia Mund appeared less than pleased that the women were participating in the historic space mission and made their opinions known publicly.
But what are their opinions?
I don't understand.
I can't get my head around what they're doing.
I can't get it either.
Because I've yet to see an article where they're specific, aside from, like, you could be doing other things with your time.
You could be doing other things with your fame.
Like, you could be helping
humanity rather than going and flying around in a spaceship and a rocket.
They're not allowed to do anything for themselves?
Like, I don't understand.
Like, it makes no sense.
I don't get it.
I guess not.
It's like, I guess earlier
this month, Munn, Olivia Munn, called the mission Gluttonous.
I know this probably isn't a cool thing to say, but there are so many other things that are important in the world right now.
What are you guys going to do up in space?
What are you doing up there?
That's what Olivia Munn says.
So we want Katy Perry to stay on Terra Firmer to solve our problems?
Like, what the fuck is Katy Perry doing?
I'm not looking to Katy Perry to solve any of my issues.
Like, why?
Why would anybody?
I don't understand.
But all right.
Hey, man.
It's, dude, everything.
There's fucking...
will come out of the fucking woodwork tonesay anything.
So it's like.
And dude, do you want to hear the hysterical, what is the hysterical Amy Schumer had to say?
Guys, last second they added me to space and I'm going to space, the comedian joked in an Instagram video.
I'm bringing this thing.
It has no meaning to me, but it was in my bag and I was on the subway and I got the text and they were like, do you want to go to space?
So I'm going to space.
Good stuff, Amy Schumer.
But I don't understand.
I don't get it either.
I don't understand anything.
Maybe she's just a little catty because she didn't get invited.
Wilde?
Wait, there's Olivia Wilde?
Olivia Wilde, I guess.
Maybe she was the cutoff.
Maybe, you know, they're like, we got room for one celebrity.
Billion dollars bought some good memes, I guess.
Says Wild.
So there, I guess what her wild is saying if you have a
billion dollars to spend, you should not be spending it on going up to space for 11 minutes.
You should spend it on
probably
what they think you should be spending it on.
How would you want to spend it on?
Why?
Did Katy Perry have to pay to go up?
I don't know.
It doesn't say, but I mean,
probably.
I mean, I know they're charging people, although, I know, maybe Bezos just ate it.
And he's like, well, this is good publicity for the space program, you know?
And that's the meme is Katy Perry kissing the ground after returning.
Oh, even Model Emily Radojowski, however you pronounce her name, that blurred lines girl.
She went on a rant about how the women's short space voyage and others like it are damaging Mother Earth.
That space message in this morning, that end time shit.
That's end time shit.
This is beyond parody.
That you care about Mother Earth and it's about Mother Earth and you're going up in a spaceship that is built for and paid by a company that is single-handedly destroying the planet.
So I guess that's their problems.
So every nobody.
I mean, I get four packages from Amazon a day.
You know what I mean?
Like, what do you...
Like, nobody should.
It's easier to blame them for going up on the rocket, I guess.
I guess.
And I wonder if these people buy from Amazon too, or if they're staunchly at the bottom.
Of course they do.
Yeah.
Of course they do.
I mean, come on.
Or work for Amazon Prime or blah, blah, blah.
It's just, I mean, if their underlying messages that, hey, man, there's probably better things we could be spending money on, then I'm like, yeah, yeah, I probably agree.
But like,
you know,
that could be said about anything and anybody.
You know, I don't know.
Here's the thing: like, let's say they didn't have to pay Walt.
Let's say they were just invited.
Like, why would Katy Perry say no if she like the rockets going up regardless?
So, why would Katy Perry say no if it's something she wants to do and it's a function of the
reason, though?
She should, you know, her team should have been like, Katie, here's the here's what could happen if you go up.
People like Amy Schmoor, Schumer, Schumer, yeah, could and others of her caliber could criticize you.
And it could be a career suicide.
I don't think it is.
I don't think it's made, their comments have made those kind of waves,
but she's definitely taking some dents.
Well, I think because most people would be, the reaction would be like, what?
Who cares?
I mean, you know what I mean?
Like, why do we even...
I think most people wouldn't care about it either way, right?
Yeah, like when I first saw it, I was like, oh, it's pretty cool.
They got to go into space for 11 minutes.
And then I read the article about all the haters and shit.
I couldn't believe it.
And I'm sure Reddit's a buzz with it as well.
I didn't go check.
Yeah, well, that's for the best.
Yeah.
I have a feel-good story.
Feel-good story?
Okay.
Does it involve a corpse or a crushed head?
No,
it's our own backyard.
All right.
So
we have multiple listeners who are doctors.
And believe it or not, it's true.
Nice.
And I received an email from a doctor who listens.
and I'll try to like make it brief and kind of give you the gist of the message.
But he told me there exists something called voice banking that some patients who have ALS will pursue as their ability to speak becomes more impaired.
Voice banking is a way to make an artificial version of a person's native voice that can later be used to communicate.
potentially like a text-to-speech
generation with the goal of it sounding as close close to the person's original voice as possible.
This doctor now spoke to a speech pathologist
colleague at the ALS clinic at Mayo, and there is a company who has partnered with an AI company that can generate a very close copy of someone's voice using previously recorded audio files.
This company actually offers free services to patients with ALS, it would appear.
So, with this service,
I got Declan and I got Chuck to pull all episodes with Tim in it.
And we're going to submit it
to this company, and they're going to create
an ability for Tim to communicate with it.
Oh, wow.
But
it's a really great cause, but I'm asking if we can get maybe 10 or so
volunteers, because there's a lot of files.
This is hundreds of hours of stuff.
Right.
And we need somebody
who has the ability to edit audio, which isn't that hard, if you know what you're doing.
I mean, I guess I shouldn't say it's not that hard, but
if we get 10 or 20 people to volunteer, we can knock this out quick because it has to be done rather quick.
And so I'm asking anybody who wants to volunteer to listen to files that Chuck or Deccan will send you and edit out anybody but Tim's voice.
Then we will take those files, files, submit it to the company, and they'll build a library of,
I guess, limitless words that Tim will be able to use when he finds it that he's not able to speak any longer.
Oh, I mean, wow, man.
It is feel good, but at the same time, it's kind of a downer.
Well, I mean, but we're helping, though.
Yeah.
We're going to help.
Yeah, we're going to help.
So if you want to volunteer and you know what you're doing, like if you don't know how to edit audio, please don't volunteer
and contact me at kmuse, that's k-m-e-w-es-2 at gmail, and we will send you like three or four episodes.
And you just take out everything, no music can be behind it, no, but a chuck or decklin will
help
clarify exactly what we need.
But it really is kind of simple, but the more people we have that can do it, the quicker we can tackle it and get it into the hands of the company.
Because
if we just do it with us, it's going to take forever.
So I'm hoping that we get, and I know there are, I know there's a lot of people who have podcasts who listen or who know how to edit audio that will.
I mean, so it doesn't even have to make sense then.
All you're doing is like, let's say it's one of the KISS episodes.
Sunday, Jeff is talking, then you take out Sunday Jeff.
Jeff, Sunday, and then Tim talks, and then you're talking, I take you out.
And then you send back us back a file that just has just Tim's speaking on it, nobody else.
Yeah.
So it won't make much sense as a no, no, no.
And then when it goes, when this goes to this company that's going to be doing it,
they're just building like
millions of words.
I don't know if there's millions of words, but
a shit ton of library
words that you'll be able to use.
That's cool.
Yeah.
So if you want to be a volunteer and help us out with that, yeah, contact me at kmuse2 at gmail.com.
KMUS2 at gmail.com all right
that's pretty good
yeah man that's great here well that's really that's really special where'd you see that comes together what where'd you see that article no no no it was a it was a doctor who contacted me oh a doctor contact oh he has a colleague at the mayo clinic who told him like hey yeah if you censure an article my bad usually what a ls uh people people have the disease do is before their voice gets really bad they go in and they record hours.
Prior.
But he doesn't have to do that.
He has all this library that we have of him on Mike.
Right.
Yeah.
Back when his voice was a little better, too.
Yes.
Which is good.
All right.
Jeez.
You want some fluff to follow that, Walt?
You got a fluff cue?
I got some fluff for you.
If Giddam didn't already tell you about the King Kong pinball machine.
No.
Oh, my God.
dude, I couldn't find a pinball machine, another one, dude.
You couldn't help but find out about this pinball machine.
This fucking shill was on Instagram all yesterday.
Fucking
with like a tome, brother.
I mean, this text was so long on this pinball machine, like
five, six different posts.
I'm like, this motherfucker's getting a free King Kong pinball machine.
Well, I did the voice for it.
Oh, did you?
Yeah, I do one of the voices.
Oh, that's awesome.
I didn't know that.
Yeah, yeah.
I'm in the I'm in the game.
Like,
they released this video of the
announcement video.
And towards the end, you see me.
I didn't know they were recording me visually when I did it.
So
I'm actually where I am right now in my basement.
And I'm sitting there just doing like fucking, that monkey's not going to steal that girl.
Like lines like that and shit like that.
Yeah, I didn't realize that they were going to, I didn't realize they were going to include me in the release announcement.
And they refer to me as a comedy legend, which I sure wish they had run that by me
before they chose that.
I would have been like, guys, maybe we could just say, you know, comedian or even better, just you know, Brian Quinn.
But
yeah, I got to do a bunch of voices for the King Kong gang that's coming out next month.
And
I thought you'd be excited about that.
That is pretty awesome.
Which version of King Kong is it?
Is it the one in the new Godzilla movie or is it?
I'm sure.
No, no, they went back because the original story is in public domain now.
So they go back to the original.
Is it the 30s one?
yeah it's set in the 30s and it's andarow and all that shit that's fucking cool because i i thought there's no way any company doesn't want the fucking ridiculous i almost said the wrong r word um
version of the new king kong and gozilla movies you know that are out the monsterverse garbage they went back to the classic fucking the classic ray harry housing king kong shit It's he's there, dude.
And like he's fucking like, it's not, it's, it's based on the, I guess, yeah, the original story.
Like, there's a subway car from the 30s that holds the multi-ball, and when it's time for multi-ball, he tips the subway car over and all the balls come out.
Yeah, it looks like
that's crazy, man.
Yeah, yeah, that's that's you get me one?
I can try, I sure can try.
We could use it for the office, you can come over and play,
I sure can try.
Yeah, between that and the Evil Dead pinball machine, I just sold two pinball machines, and I got two more coming in.
But what are you going to do?
Are you running out of room?
No, I have the room for them.
I just like, after a while, I'm just like, I'm not playing the monsters pinball, man.
Let me get, let me find this a home that, like, somebody's going to love it and stuff like that.
So, but, um, but yeah, no, Evil Dead, I had to get, and this one they're sending me because I'm in it.
So, but I'm just fucking, it was super excited to like be a part of it.
You know how much I love this shit.
So, it was like, oh, this is the fucking cool shit, man.
But, uh,
yeah, you are legitimately
the 2025 version of the pinball wizard.
No one is more a pinball ambassador than you.
I don't know about that, man.
You are.
I'm not saying you're good at pinball.
I'm just saying like you're.
No, I'm not.
You're the ambassador, though, for
the
hobby.
Well,
I guess.
Are you a bigger name than Jack Danger is the question in the pinball world?
In the pinball community?
No.
Jack Danger's pretty up there, and he deserves it, man.
The guy's, you you know, he's great at what he does.
Is he a pinball player?
He was a pinball player.
He was a professional pinball player for years.
Now he's in designing them.
He designed the X-Men one that just came out, and apparently it's fucking awesome.
I did play a little bit, and it was pretty great, but apparently, if you spend a lot of time with it, it's great.
So he's moving up.
So I think in the pinball community, Jack Danger rightfully is the guy.
But in the mainstream.
But yeah, but to the common man,
it's Peak Human.
Is that on his birth certificate, Danger?
Is that his?
Yeah, isn't that crazy?
Out of here.
It is, yeah.
That's nuts.
You got to be doing a lot more fucking cooler shit than fucking designing pinball machines if your fucking name is Jack Danger.
Right.
You should be jumping off the sides of buildings and shit.
No, he's a fucking, he's like a good-looking guy, too.
He's got tats.
Like it all comes together.
He should be a fucking international fucking spy or something to have that name.
Not designing King Kong fucking pinball machine.
It's almost like something like Michael Scott would come up with.
I'm Jack Danger.
I'm Jack Danger.
No, good guy, nice guy.
But yeah, I'll see.
I'll work on getting one for
the office.
Okay.
But I'm real excited to.
Yeah, that's why I reposted those, Brian, because, you know, I figured.
I figured I'm in the game.
I know you're in the game, though.
That's pretty awesome.
That's cool.
So anybody can use the King Kong name now?
Yeah, he's public domain.
Like
the original story is public domain now.
What are you thinking?
King Kong porn?
All right, I'm in.
I'll do the voice in that too.
I mean,
imagination is limitless.
Yeah, anybody could do their King Kong or use King Kong in anything they want to do.
As long as it doesn't have any of the
trademarks that were added on later, yeah, you could make King Kong whatever you want now.
I don't think you could do Godzilla, but you can do King Kong.
Yeah, why would you bring Godzilla up?
Well, it's just another giant monster that would be fun to do.
And they're tied together, you know?
Yeah,
I mean, but one came so much later than the other.
What's Godzilla 50s?
Yeah.
And it's also from Japan.
Yeah, the Tom Bombs.
Did you see they announced the officials?
Pinball from oh, yeah.
Godzilla came out a couple of years ago, and it's awesome.
It's considered one of the greatest games of this new era of pinball.
It's fucking awesome.
You knock a building down if you hit it with the ball enough, it actually sinks down under the playfield and shit.
It's so much fun.
And it's based on the old Godzilla 2, so it's Mothra.
It's like not the Montana.
Can you get me that?
I can try that.
I got that one too.
And I can stand next to you and do voice.
Can you get me all the giant monster pinball machines?
machines.
I'll work on it.
You're the pitball wizard.
If the wizard can't make it happen, nobody can.
I don't know that I can make anything happen.
I'm going to try though.
I'm going to do my best.
Remember how you're going to give me one machine?
How would you think about three?
It's for Walt.
Yeah, my friend Walt's really into big monsters.
Yeah, I'm pretty excited about that.
But anyway, so there's your fluff.
There's a little fluff for you.
Pinball news.
I have some good news, too.
What do you got?
The thing about being a guy is we're pretty much stuck with what we've got, appearance-wise.
Did you know that, Q?
I don't want to read this again.
They really need to come up with a
new copy for this Miundis, because Miundi's is better than this.
Miundis is unveiling their latest gifts to help men feel big, the contoured pouch and ball caddy, the micromedow sling to keep things separated and lifted.
Nine out of ten women swear they're sophisticated.
This sophisticated brief technology will make you look huge, and that's all that matters, right?
I don't know.
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Miyandi's has a look for everyone.
Plus, they come in sizes extra small to 4XL, guaranteeing a flattering cut for everybody.
Hold on, real quick, though.
I want to ask you, because you brought up a great fucking point.
Okay.
Something that can be
the debate will never be able to be put to bed or rest.
But what's what's more important to the female community?
Bigger wallet or bigger package?
Oh, that's a good one.
I mean, bigger wallet, I'd say.
That's probably the answer.
That was answered so quick.
You didn't even ponder it.
In my experience, I know.
So, all I know is some big dick motherfucker living in a shack by the train yard
isn't pulling people like a small dick guy driving around in a Maserati.
Okay.
That's a good point.
I thought this was going to be a debate for the ages that we'd sit here for the next three hours.
You barely got it out.
I just don't think it matters.
There's diagrams and fucking bullet points and
charts.
What, you disagree?
Go ahead.
What do you got?
You disagree?
Yeah, I think that
if you were to...
get some older women with who have led long lives,
I bet you they might be like, you know what?
Yeah, I may have lived maybe a comfortable life
with
never needing or wanting anything.
But I was more fulfilled when he was hitting that fucking G-spot.
Down in the shack.
When he was pounding that G-spot, I was never more happier.
I mean, yeah, I had 10 limousines, but you know what?
I remember the 10 orgasms in a half hour more than I remember the 10 limousines.
I'll take the limousines.
Like a big dick, you could rent.
Like you can't rent wealth.
You could always search out a big dick somewhere, but money's hard to find, I think.
Yeah,
I think I have to lean towards Q on this one.
Yeah, I think we have a bigger wallet rather than a bigger dick.
Yeah.
Because you have to say, ultimately, for my survival, what's going to matter more?
Like, if I'm entering a relationship with this person, you know, no, no, again, you're not, you're just fucking disregarding my
older lady.
Yeah, she said she lived it all.
She lived it all naturally.
She had a big dick, poor boyfriend, and she had a small dick,
you know, millionaire.
Right.
And she says, you know, as she sits there with her grandchildren, we're spread
spreading the wisdom.
tell them stories.
Kids.
I've seen both sides.
Gather around.
Yeah.
I've seen both sides.
Big wallet, big cock.
Grandma used to have 10 limousines.
She doesn't give a shit anymore.
She's not going anywhere.
I think the bigger question is: what would a guy choose to have a giant 10-inch hog
or 10 million in the bank?
I think most guys are going to take 10 million in the bank.
Yeah, I'm taking 10 million.
I think most days are taking that big dick.
What?
I think the opposite.
I think men will be like, nah, I'll take that giant dick, man, because
that's a value added every day of your life.
You know, I can make money.
You know what I mean?
Yeah, you can't make that up, though.
You know what?
Yeah.
It's almost
I'm not even close to fucking 10 million.
Yeah, guess what?
You can work till you fucking
drop dead.
You're not going to get that much.
And it's like,
I don't know.
There's
it's good enough.
We're not talking about us.
We're not talking about the average man.
I'm talking about a guy with a little dick who's got like one of those micro penises.
Oh, microphallus.
Yeah.
Does those really exist, though?
I just assume so.
How would I know what?
Those were just things that were like internet myths.
Well, they're definitely there's got it.
I mean, there's smaller dicks.
You got a guy with like a two.
Yeah.
But no, like the centimeter.
Oh, like.
Even if you get like a, like one of those weird ones that's like three or four inches erect, like I think those guys would still be like, no, I'll take the 10-inch penis.
I'm looking at some disgusting pictures of micro-penises.
I don't even think you want to see them.
No, I don't want to see it.
It'll exist, though.
Significantly smaller than the average size for an adult male.
It's typically diagnosed when the stretched penile length is 3.67 inches or less.
Micropenis is usually the result of abnormal fetal development and can be indicative of an underlying hormonal or genetic condition.
So.
It's awful.
But in the grand scheme of things,
I'm kind of undercutting my argument, though, but you spend more time doing other things than using that 10-inch hog.
No, I know, but like, if you have a three-inch penis and you go to take a piss, you're confronted with that every time, man.
And, like, every time you get into a relationship with a woman, you're like, oh, man, how do I fucking broach this?
I think the 10-inch peace of mind is worth more than $10 million
to a guy with a bunch of people.
Probably.
Well, I didn't need to buy a bigger dick.
I'm happy with the one I got.
Yeah.
All right.
back to meundis.
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This is for basketball people, basketball playoffs, which are already over.
I don't know why I'm reading.
They're not over.
They just started.
They just started?
Okay, because...
Oh, okay, this is 414.
Yeah, okay.
NCAA.
You're right.
No, no, NCAA is over.
It is over.
Oh, the NBA is going on there now.
Okay.
Okay.
Blah, blah, blah.
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The championship.
Okay.
Oh, boy.
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Now I got to guess what the ship is.
Prize picks is...
Oh, Jesus Christ.
That's what the kids are fucking
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I don't know.
They're not going to be able to do that.
I don't know.
I don't know.
You should see how much they're fucking yellowed here.
We don't deserve the money for this read.
This is fucking crazy how much they want me to fucking read.
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Run your game.
You can't.
Holy mother, you can't turn that commercial in.
That commercial's is going in.
They have to fucking send me a better copy if they want me to read stuff like this.
There's four pages of it.
You heard fucking Blue Chew and
Aben Eve.
They get to the point.
They do it nicely.
Everybody knows what's going on.
I saw this.
It's very overkillish, and I definitely want to get your opinions on it.
Recently, it has been
revealed that beneath the Vatican vaults,
there there are hundreds of Tartarian bells.
These are bells taken from churches during World War II.
Each bell is dedicated to a saint and etched with a sacred prayer that allows the bell to emit divine healing energy when rung.
Why are they holding that shit in a dungeon?
When there's so much sickness and disease out there, they could could get these bells out there and ring them
and fucking get people better.
They said there's thousands of bells down there?
Yeah.
Wow.
Because they're like, we're going to drag all this shit up out of the dungeon and it's not going to work.
So fuck it.
People are going to get pissed and fucking lose faith.
Yeah, that might be it.
The reason they took them because they're all made out of gold and shit.
Yeah, yeah, that's the real reason.
You're right.
But But Q,
you're the caretaker for the bells.
You got to keep, you know, you shine them.
You know, they definitely aren't on display anymore, but you're in charge.
That's your little,
you're like a little priest, and that's your
duties.
Yeah.
You get a cold.
You get a cold.
Do you go down here and ring the bell?
Oh, yeah.
You take advantage of that position?
Of course.
Why wouldn't I?
I'm there special to you.
I want to give it like a little bit of a.
Brother Q, you cannot ring the bell for your own purposes.
Just like
Pope said the same.
What?
His girl said the same.
Can't ring the bell.
I would say you got it.
You forgot, Wallet.
Yeah, she's like, oh, you ragged.
Oh, you ringing.
Ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding, ding.
He carries all his money in a wall.
But, yeah, yeah, the Pope said to you,
you can never ring the bell for your own personal usage.
You know, you're not feeling well, it doesn't mean you can go ring that bell that takes away sniffles.
Why, Pope?
Why?
Why can't I do that?
Because it's God's will.
Oh, I don't even argue with that.
Oh, shit.
All right.
Well, you got it, Pope John Paul.
Whoever's in charge.
But once I'm alone in that room and I got the sniffles, I'm ringing that bell.
I'm going to ding it a little bit, just get a little ding.
Especially like if you have family members and stuff, you know, bring them on down.
Be like, hey, I'm just going to give you a tour of the dungeon.
And then once they're done,
oh, no.
We all disappeared.
There you go.
You're back, Q.
Oh, hey.
I don't know where we went.
Oh, probably the internet just dropped out a little bit.
All right, we're all back.
I think the heat just turned on for scooter next door.
Oh, good.
Nice.
I got to jump back to the writer's room, guys.
They're texting me.
I told them I would be gone an hour.
All right, Q.
So as much as I love, you know, the bells, we can finish up the bells.
I'm happy, you know, because these bells are fascinating to me.
Do you think each bell?
Yeah, each bell represents a different malady,
right?
So, I could bring like my grandfather with cancer down and I ring the bell near him and it's cured.
Why wouldn't I do that?
I would do that.
Of course, I would do that.
Because what's the worst that happens?
They have to forgive me.
Ostracized, or you get thrown out on your ass.
No,
I'm like, I'm so no.
And then they're going to do that over ringing a bell.
And they're like, how dare you, BQ?
The Pope himself has cancer, and he didn't ring the bell.
But you thought you could ring the bell?
For sniffles?
Die.
You know, all of a sudden it's fucking Papal from fucking Star Wars.
Yeah.
I think that I would throw myself on the mercy of the Lord and be like, hey, man, you know,
everybody sins.
Better to ask for forgiveness than permission.
And
yeah, yeah, I think so.
I think so.
Get in confession, promise never to do it again.
Get back then the next day, polish up those bells and don't ring one.
Once you got the sniffles, well, you know, you're not going to be allowed to take care of the bells anymore after this.
You're going to be fucking scrubbing toilets
in the dungeon.
Magical toilets now?
Yeah, like everything in the water.
Yeah,
I don't know, man.
I mean, maybe I wouldn't do it on the sniffles.
But what counts is a ding?
Like, if I'm down there cleaning it and I just give it a little tap and it cures my,
I'll just be like, oh, that was a mistake.
I didn't mean to
cure my sniffles, you know?
But if it has to be like a full-on dong on the bell, then yeah, probably.
No, it has to be something like a big pendulum has to hit it.
It can't be just you hit it with your fingers.
Other people can hear it.
Yeah, with your duster.
You just can't hit it, you know, and expect that.
It has to have a be a true thunderous gong of the bell or whatever, the ringing of the bell.
Could you imagine bringing Gidem down there?
Trying to heal him of all his melodies.
You have to ring all a thousand of them at once.
Just all the way down the road.
The Vatican's just fucking crumbles
for once.
But out, but from the rubble emerges a handsome, thin, new
get him.
Yeah, lumps.
Fucking get him.
Lump-free.
Yeah, looking good.
You know, that, I don't know.
Might be worth it.
Might be worth it to get him.
If I have cancer and there's a bell that can be rung, I'm ringing it.
I don't give a shit what the Pope says.
Me thinks if it really worked, those bells worked.
Yeah, and all the popes that we saw parrot like fucking wither away,
they probably would have rung those bells if they actually work.
I think so, too.
Pope's only human, man.
Tell him, Steve, Dave.