#611: Flip Floppery

It's like Magoo, I'm turning into Magoo.

Don't know for certain if it's urine, do you?

That's how much people are thinking about you.

They're not putting that much thought to you.

I have to remind myself of that sometimes.

I'll just sit there.

I'm like, nobody's thinking about you right now.

Nobody.

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave.

I look around the table.

I see Walt Flanagan.

Yo.

And I see see BQ.

Yeah, all right.

We're all here.

We're here.

We're all here.

How's it going, Q?

How you been?

Oh, you know, it's been one thing after another lately, but seems that way.

Yeah, it's been a little, I don't know nothing I really talk about too much because it's you know, all kind of like personal stuff, but also, like, it's normal life stuff, so not too bad.

But yeah, it's been a little bit fucking crazy week for me.

Some family health stuff and um

work stuff, family health stuff, yeah.

Everybody's getting older, me,

my brothers, my parents.

You know.

Do you find any

that you're facing any new health things?

As you get older?

I mean, I think it gets all within normal.

Like, my eyesight's now.

I might as well.

I might start walking into walls.

Dude, me too.

I was just trying to read something earlier today, and I was like, it's getting worse.

Yeah, it's getting worse.

It's getting bad.

It's like Magoo.

I'm turning into Magoo.

I can't see shit anymore.

It's crazy.

Yeah.

But you can see far away, okay, right?

Yeah, I can still see fine enough.

I'm exaggerating.

It's fine.

But it's just weird.

My whole life,

I was able to just read this without glasses.

Right.

So it's fine.

That's the Walt Flanagan font.

Yeah, yeah.

Makes it nice and big for you.

What is that, size 12, 12, 13 font?

Yeah.

That's how you compensate.

Right.

Yeah.

Everything has to be in fucking super fat ass letters.

Yeah, yeah.

I always like a fat ass, so let's do it with letters.

Let's see what I got here.

Well, Walt, you said you saw Joker.

So did Q.

Oh, I saw it.

Yeah, I went because Walt said he liked it.

Yeah, I did not get to see it yet.

I didn't have a chance, but

what did you think?

Did you like it?

I mean, I think I liked it exactly the same as I liked the first one, which is like,

I'm like,

it's like the first one.

It's not something I'm going to rush to go see again.

Yeah.

It felt like...

an absolute, complete,

connected two movies.

Yeah, I don't know why people would like the first one and not like the second one.

It made no sense.

Apparently, yeah, there's a lot of people who hate the second one and who love the first one.

I don't get it.

Or haven't seen the second one and just say they hate it.

Oh, no.

I think there's a lot of people.

Well, yes, well, they heard

what happens.

And I'm not sure what happened or didn't happen to send people into a tizzy about feeling betrayed by the film's choices.

You think just because it was a musical?

No, I feel like the fact that Joker didn't kill anybody was upsetting to people and he didn't like take down some people who deserve to die

it that's how i got it and he kind of copped that he kind of pushed out at the end i guess and admitted he was arthur flack and he didn't have a personality disorder i think that was just like when harley was betrayed yeah in the in the movie yeah

I think some members of the audience felt betrayed as well, which is because

she's crazy.

I liked her take on Harley.

I thought it was very well done.

I was completely entertained the entire time.

There could have been 10 more musical numbers, and I would have been fucking happy and sat there clapping.

I thought they were brilliant.

I thought they were very artistic.

I don't see what other people saw that upset them so much.

Yeah, I don't either.

I thought it was a little long.

Like, towards the end, I was like, all right, guys, let's fucking

cut a song or two

and get moving, but I thought, dude, I'm with you.

It felt like just a continuation of the first movie.

It felt like a seamless continuation of the previous movie.

So I am

enjoying it.

I did like it.

Yeah.

I loved, loved the Harvey Dent thing.

Yes.

I thought that was so fucking like what a slick way to do that.

Like, get him into it.

There's like a little nod to Too Face in it that I liked a lot.

Yeah.

There were

moments that I just could not help but be

breathless at the performance

by

the Joker character actor.

Yeah, Joaquim Phoenix.

And I know people rave about that first performance, but this one really made me take notice because he was doing so much more dancing.

Right.

The thought and

acting chops that went into when he's Arthur Fleck, he moves

differently.

He moves almost like

If you've been around people that aren't all there, they have a certain way they move their body.

It's kind of herky-jerky.

It's kind of stiff.

It's kind of just

different than a sane person moves.

When he was the Joker in dancing, he moved like an athlete.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

I know what you mean.

He stood confident.

He looked like a totally different human being.

And that is stunning to think that

possibly he had that kind of thought process

when he sits down and becomes this character.

Yeah.

The way he moves, he moves like a trained athlete.

Yeah, I know what you mean.

It's apparent in the movie.

Yeah, with confidence.

Right.

And he dances like well and so.

Yeah, it's like mesmerizing him, but when he's Arthur Fleck, he moves like he's helpless.

Well, it also helps out like when he's Arthur Fleck, like they really accentuate his physical frailty a lot.

Like they show his bones.

They did it on the first one, too.

Yeah, it's a lot more of that.

And then when he's Joker, he's just like in total command of the red suit and all that shit.

Yeah, he moves like the mask.

Remember the mask?

Yeah, yeah, like the Cuban Pete dance thing he was doing.

Yeah.

And it was something to behold.

I was mesmerized.

When he became a Joker, I was just like, this looks like a total, like it could be a different actor doing this.

The way he's moving.

Like they have a dance double, like the tap dance thing.

That was him.

Yeah, that was him.

That was cool.

That was the one sequence where they were on that stage with the lights that I was like, if anything could have gone to shorten this up, that could have went.

Are we talking about where it went, like, you don't know what it's like,

that number?

The one where it's the Sonny and Cher number.

That, I love that.

You didn't like that?

I'm just looking at things that could have went up with Sonny and Cher, and I think that

that hurts your appreciation.

I mean, I got what they were going for, but I just started feeling the movie so long.

Whereas the scene where the music where she was playing piano,

I was like, that's fucking awesome.

So I just, I don't know.

So we like the same things, just different versions.

But when the Sonny and Cher moment came on, I literally turned to my daughter.

I was like, you don't know who Sonny and Cher is, but this is freaking awesome.

I saw it with my daughter and she she didn't like it and she she said something interesting she goes I'm surprised you liked it because she asked me if I liked it and I was like I did like it she goes because I don't think it was made

for the people who like comics she goes and I go what makes you say that she goes I think the demographics of

the ages of of the guy because it's gonna be male dominant she thought are going to appreciate that type of movie and I was like yeah I don't know maybe you're right but yeah I like, but she needs a job at Warner Brothers

telling them what not to do.

And she said, because she thought that I would be turned off by all the musical numbers.

And she said, I didn't know you liked Broadway so much.

I was like, I love the theater.

I was going to say,

she grew up in that house.

She knows how often you went.

I had read somewhere there were 17 musical numbers in it.

Does that sound accurate?

Yeah, but they're not all full numbers.

Sometimes they'll just sing a line.

I'm telling you, man, you will not be.

I don't know.

I don't know because you're not a comic book fan, so I I don't know if you'll appreciate it, but you'll, I don't think you'll ever go like, this is boring.

I think you'll appreciate the artistic

people that put on like these

MGM old school Hollywood

like dance sequences like that are a throwback to 1940s Hollywood where like they're dancing on the rooftop.

Yeah, or even when he's watching the TV in the, in the, in the rec room with the, and he sings that song and he, it's, it's one shot.

He's just looking at TV and he, he just starts, I forget the name, so and he just weaves through all the

inmates just singing, and then look through the guards, and then he just comes back and ends back looking at the TV, and it snaps back to reality.

Like, it was a pretty good thing.

Should we talk about spoilers?

Should we just say spoilers in?

Because there's certain things I want to get your opinion on.

I think so.

I'm just going to know how you feel.

Because there was a moment where,

you know, Harley and him meet, or Lee, yeah, is her name, but they, yeah, basically it was Harley.

They meet in the same asylum.

Well, same last name, right?

Quinzel was.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And, of course, she's

infatuated with him because she's seen him on TV and everything.

And

he, of course, is attracted to her.

And she is led out of the insane asylum or checks herself out.

And she shows up in his cell and they have sex.

Yeah.

Did you think that really happened?

I thought that was a fantasy.

No, I thought that happened.

How the f- In the real world, that would never happen, though.

Well, she said, she goes, he wakes up in the cell and she's there.

And he goes, Are you really here?

And she goes,

Yeah.

And then she goes, She said something about like one of something about one of the guards, and she goes, I would do anything for you.

And in my head, I was like, Oh, well, she just fucking blew a guard.

Really?

Yeah, but then she started kissing Joaquin Phoenix, and I was like, Maybe not, maybe you shouldn't be kissing that guy right now.

But do you think there was too much

things for you to assume in this movie?

Because there's a, we'll get to the end, but there's, but where I had a big problem with the the end but

the assumption that she used her her sexual wares to get into that cell

That was not to me.

I did not pick up on that.

Oh, that's all I thought when she said I would do anything for you.

I was like oh that my first thing was like she fucked a guard to get in wow, okay because she said a line about it that when connected to the two like I know one of the guards, something like that.

But it was funny that she turns out to be a fucking liar.

That made me laugh oh dude there's a fucking reveal what a fucking crazy broad she is you're just like oh

one of those all right here we go

and some girl that hits you with a door you know what i'm saying but one of the things that i know uh the internet was aflame about was the implied

gang rape of Arthur Fleck.

I don't like that.

I I did not get that that's what happened.

I assume they just beat him up.

Why does everybody make the fucking massive leap?

Because right after they throw him to the, right before, right before they throw him down, Brendan Gleason goes, get his underwear off.

And it was like, whoa.

And I was like, well, what the fuck?

That sounds like a hit.

Why are they unwilling to just let you know what happened?

Why is this

ambiguity or this?

I don't know.

I wish they that was one thing.

Not that I want to see that.

I saw it longer and that was enough.

I thought it was implied that they raped the guy so much so that I didn't like it.

To me, I have a problem.

That really pissed people off because

the Joker went out like

a wuss, I guess.

Oh, I just find that wasn't it for me.

To me, it was just more matter of,

I just find sexual assault and rape so upsetting.

You know what I mean?

That like I can't, in a way that I could watch somebody hack another person to death in a movie and be like, but there's something about like

rape and stuff.

Yeah, you know what?

But the thing that makes me think it wasn't that didn't happen was because when they dragged him back to a cell, his underwear is back on.

They wouldn't put his underwear back on.

Well, they put his clothes back on.

Remember, they had his shirts all shirt off and everything, and he was wearing his suit jacket when they dragged him into the cell.

Okay.

So anyway, so I was bothered about that.

That was like something I don't really like.

And then when I went and I went on Wikipedia to see what the plot breakdown said, and the plot breakdown just said that he got beaten savagely, that he didn't get raped.

Yeah, when Rubb told me that's what pissed people off so much, I was like, I don't think he got raped.

Yeah, you're saying he did.

No, I'm going to go with it.

But when you watched it initially, you thought that's what happened.

I was worried he got raped.

I was like, why would they go there?

Why would they do that?

Like, I just don't like it.

It's right.

That's all that happens in you.

Yeah.

No, I know, but it doesn't mean, you know.

It doesn't mean like the same thing with, like, um,

you know, it would be different if, like, Freddy Krueger, if, like, you you saw Man the Krueger get locked in, and then like all the mad men like start.

I don't know.

It's just like, I just, I don't know, I just don't like it.

If that's what happened, I think the filmmaker has to be, has to sell it a little bit more.

Like, that's definitely what happened.

And more so than ever at the very end, which I know pissed people off too, which I like, if you don't want to hear the end.

Yeah.

But

another inmate kills

the Joker Arthur Fleck at the very end of the movie.

and

I did not pick up.

I did not see because it was so soft in the background

that he had carved

a smile into his face, the guy who killed the murder.

I caught that.

I didn't see it.

Yeah, I caught that.

Why on earth would you choose to not do a close-up of that, to fucking hammer home what just happened?

I left the theater not realizing that that's what that was the implications.

That, okay, he was never going to be the real Joker is now this guy, and that's the Joker that's going to fight Batman.

but he's not going to fight Batman right oh oh oh the new guy the murder I don't know but isn't Batman still like nine in this continuity well that's a very young joker now that's that's got to be 20 years is his junior of Arthur Fleck yeah I I guess like some people are saying like that's a backdoor origin for

Heath Ledger's Joker oh really yeah because the way he cuts his face is the same scars that

I don't know why they allow the audience to just come to these conclusions on their own.

Well, did you hear the story about that?

That was supposed to be the ending of the first one.

And Nolan blocked it.

Why?

Because he didn't want it to be connected.

He didn't want that movie connected to his movies?

Yeah, he didn't want to do it.

He has that kind of juicy movie.

He used to.

He doesn't now, and that's why he was able to put that ending in this movie.

And why do you think he didn't want anything connected to this movie?

He didn't realize it was going to be a fucking monster hit, did he?

I guess, yeah yeah

a little cattiness huh i mean it made more money than his movie so maybe yeah and then like it's funny because todd phillips is like i guess now like well fuck you now it is happening at the end of this movie so did do you think that they should have chosen to have a like a clear

in focus fucking moment of what just happened i noticed it i i noticed it in the background so i didn't have the feeling that i was missing out on something i i i it took me two days before reading an article with the director before i realized like oh fuck fuck, that's what happened?

I will say this.

I saw it with some non-comic book people, and they loved that.

That was a twist they fucking loved.

They were like, oh, so it's the real.

Whereas me, I was just like, well, all right, I get it.

It's a little gimmicky, but whatever.

I might be showing signs of like slowing down that I didn't pick up on these things.

No, you're nodding, get them.

Nah, it was way out of focus.

Like, I couldn't blame you for that.

I used to be able to get around on everybody's fastball.

Now I can't.

Like, there's a little bit of blurriness in a a movie, and I'm like, what just happened?

Give me my glasses, Alicia.

What did you say?

What did Joker say?

Yeah, you know, again, it was one, it was,

you know, I get the people that I was with really liked it.

I really liked it.

That twist, though, at the end.

Oh, he created the Joker.

You know, it's one of those things that I could, but for me, it's like, and I was talking to my buddy Nick, and he does not like these movies, and he's a comic guy.

And my thing was like, it's just Else Worlds to me, man.

You know what I mean?

Like, I could really almost accept anything because it's just Else Worlds

stories.

And his point was, and I thought it was an interesting point, like, well, Else Worlds is for

comic book fans.

It's for those of us who know what the right thing is.

That's why it's funny to show you the alternate paths.

He's like, when they start presenting Else Worlds as the story, he goes, that's when you start fucking everything up because people don't understand.

And then you get all these different watered-down opinions into it.

He's like, so, which I thought was an interesting point, but he also thought about it way more than I did.

I was just like, it was all right.

You know,

I had that opening animation.

It was so cool.

A throwback to the old 1940s Warner Brothers.

That was cool.

I like that.

Yeah, I wish they had done a little bit more in the style of the Bugs Bunny cartoons, you know?

But I thought it was great that they did it.

Even the way that animation looked, the way that that character moved,

had that old-fashioned kind of thing.

Repeated over and over again type thing.

Yeah, the car going around the corner and bending as it went around the corner.

The art direction in this movie is phenomenal.

It's like it should be applauded.

I'm just shocked that it's going to go down as one of the biggest box office failures

in history.

I don't know why if you didn't like the first one, you didn't like the second one.

But you know.

Well, it seemed like people were predisposed to not liking it.

They heard reviews.

They heard it was a musical and they were like, fuck this.

It's a betrayal of the fans and all that stuff.

Yeah, I don't understand that mentality.

Just give it a shot.

Just give it a shot and see if you like it.

Did you see fucking the new Disney Star Wars?

That's fucking betrayal.

I didn't even bother watching it.

Yeah, there's like four other versions of The Joker you could watch at any second.

There's only one Star Wars series.

Yeah.

But yeah, it has been getting trounced.

It sure has.

It's been an anemic box office.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, he said it was like one of the biggest drop-offs.

Yeah, I think Terrifier 3 almost topped it this weekend.

Really?

Yeah.

That's something.

Yeah.

Who would have ever thought, like, when you heard that Lady Gaga was going to be Harley Quinn?

You're like, it's going to be a monster hit.

Yeah.

It was not her fault, that's for sure.

I thought she did a fantastic job.

When I saw that she was

Harley Quinn, I thought that they were just sort of stunt casting because I'm like, Margo Robbie is like...

She is Harley Quinn, right?

Yeah, it was a different take on it.

It was a different take.

She could not do that.

I don't think Margot Robbie could have done that version of Harley Quinn.

No, no.

Did she sing a lot?

I don't know if she sings a lot, but you just needed someone greasy.

You needed someone who looks mentally ill.

Yeah.

Margot Robbie's just too cool.

She's too pretty.

Like, I'll deal with that kind of crazy.

I have

Q, I know that you like to dispense advice.

Oh, it's my favorite thing.

Fix everybody else's problems.

This is a problem that maybe you can fix.

Let's see here.

Let me, it's sent in by an aunt.

How do I not allow other people to affect my own mental health?

Essentially, how do I be okay without giving a fuck?

For a bit of context, my friend, someone I considered my best friend, is having relations with a person that makes numerous people uncomfortable.

No matter how many people tell her, she won't listen.

She even said to me, let me make my own mistakes.

Anything helps.

Wait, I got.

Hold on.

Could you give me one more time?

I'm sorry.

Sure.

How does she not allow other people to affect her own mental health?

No, from the beginning, because I missed something at the beginning that put it, get him started playing something on TV, and I got this.

Okay, I'm looking for some advice.

How do I not allow other people to affect my own mental health?

Essentially, how do I be okay with not giving a fuck?

Oh, I see.

For a bit of context, my friend, someone I consider my best friend, is having relations with a person that makes numerous people uncomfortable.

And no matter how many people tell her, she won't listen.

She even said to me, Let me make my own mistakes.

So I guess she's buddies buddies with somebody who's banging somebody else that nobody likes.

How does she.

The art of not giving a fuck.

Yes.

This is a young.

There's a whole book about it.

Is there an age here?

Really?

I'm not sure the age.

I would say 20s,

I believe.

There's no way for her to win this battle until she's older.

Everybody cares what other people think about them.

There's not a person on the planet that doesn't give a shit.

So I think

the phrase, I don't give a fuck, is the most empty, hollow,

three-word, I don't give a fuck, four-words ever uttered.

Everybody usually somebody gives a fuck,

I don't give a fuck.

Well, it's condition-specific, I think.

Like, there might be some things where you're like, I don't give a fuck.

Just let's get over this and move on.

So that's the advice.

Just keep on not giving a fuck.

Or try to not give a fuck.

I mean, I'm 48, and it's just like I didn't even start feeling like I entered that sort of mental space till I was in my 40s.

So, you know, I just think there's no way around it.

But time will prove if she was right, though.

Well, think of it like this, I guess, is

how much time do you spend thinking about other people?

Honestly, like,

it's not that much.

Not a ton.

Not a ton.

You have an opinion on someone, you flip it around.

You know what I mean?

Like, that's how much people are thinking about you.

They're not putting that much thought to you.

I have to remind myself of that sometimes.

I'll just sit there.

I'm like, nobody's thinking about you right now.

I'll remind myself of that from time to time.

Are you thinking about me?

What about you, Sage?

What's that dog doing?

Show him my picture on your phone.

See if he reacts.

I don't feel like getting up, so just show him my picture.

Tell him I'm thinking about him.

Yeah, I think nobody's really thinking about you to begin with.

We all just worry about that.

And honestly, it's the people.

Like, I find the people that I like the most are

the ones that put themselves.

Like, everybody loves a party.

Like, Joe Gatto,

he don't give a fuck.

You know what I mean?

He's out there having fun, partying and dancing and shit like that.

I don't know.

I love guys like Ming Chen, another one.

Ming Chen don't give a fuck.

Ming Chen don't give a fuck about anybody else.

All that matters of him is like, who am I going to take a selfie with next?

Right.

Who's going to pay attention to me?

Whereas I'm going to get that next slice of pizza, free cup of coffee.

Now, that comes at a cost, though.

Yeah, your soul.

Yeah.

Yeah, but aside from a master like him, I think you just, you know, you just got to get through your 20s like we all did, bud.

It's hard.

Yeah, I mean, she's saying it's affecting her mental health.

So, I mean, I guess essentially you have to just say, I'm not going to allow it.

I'm not going to allow it.

Maybe don't hang around that person as much.

Maybe you don't enter social situations with them.

Well, it sounds like she wants to be more like that person.

Oh, you think?

Well, she's saying, like, how do I be like that person's not worried about what everybody's thinking about me, about them?

She just bees her

is what I took from that.

So I could be wrong, of course.

I'm usually wrong.

But he,

yeah, I mean, look, I think if you're that, I think you should realize that everybody feels this way.

Literally, fucking everybody feels this way.

And if it's affecting you that much, like, go to therapy.

Go talk to someone about it.

That's what I did.

You could even go online.

Therapist.

Yeah.

I don't think you should do that if it's that because just I think what you're feeling is normal and everybody feels it.

But have you ever, you say you think it's normal, have you ever had somebody that you cared about was in a was in a bad relationship?

Did you ever allow it to affect you so much that you're

like resorting to writing to into a podcast to

figure out how to not be affected by somebody else's relationship no that's never really happened to me

when if guy my friends start dating someone who's annoying i just kind of just fucking distance myself i'm like they'll break up eventually i'll get my friend back yeah especially if you're backed by numerous other people like she says you know it's like you're on to something if everybody's like look this person's a jerk off there's probably something there

so so in time it'll work itself out and if they i mean if this girl is like look i'm gonna have relations relations with him and I don't care what you say, there's nothing you can do about that.

Nor should you try.

Yeah, what do you got?

Why do you even have a say in this?

Yeah.

Well, I mean,

what if he's really no good?

Oh, he's like a total piece of shit, and it's your friend.

Yeah, like, there is a line, but I mean, if it's just he's

annoying, or what was the word she used to describe him?

He's no.

Let me see here.

Because, I mean, if it's just annoying, I mean, there's not much you can do about that.

But if he's,

you know, if it's detrimental to her welfare,

mental or physical.

Well, again, like, my friend, someone I considered my best friend, is having relations with a person that makes numerous people uncomfortable.

No matter how many people tell her, she won't listen.

So

you're probably, even if you're the best friend, you're probably not going to be able to change your mind.

Right.

And also, like, there's a very loose definition.

Like, what is she doing?

If it's like she's got a fucking sick body and she's wearing a bikini at the pool in the summer, it's like, and everybody's like,

I wish I was that hot.

You know what I mean?

Then it's just like, you know, we don't know what this girl's doing

to earn this

ire.

I don't know.

Oh, this, oh,

this is a male who sent this in.

No, this is the female who sent this in.

Okay, but her best friend's boyfriend is the problem, I thought.

Best friend's boyfriend is the problem.

Oh, I thought, for some reason, I thought there was like a...

But the same thing applies.

Like, she didn't say he was abusive.

She said he's annoying.

Right.

So he could just be.

I don't know.

What does that mean?

It could be like Telsay farming.

I don't even think he was abusive.

Just said it reminds me of the business.

Because Telson wears a Trump fucking t-shirt around all the time.

You don't know what it means.

So it's hard to say.

Yeah.

I think, though, no matter what,

it is really hard.

If somebody has their mindset, it's very difficult to change it many times.

It's not impossible.

In situations like this, nearly impossible.

It's nearly impossible.

Because that person is like, look, they don't see in him what I see in him.

Yeah, I know.

And also, like, the older you you get to you're like

i think it's easier to disengage from it because you're like i know i can't do anything and i also know this is doomed because that guy's an asshole you know what i mean so i'll just it's just a matter of time a matter of time i'll just go do it just wait it out yeah wait it out but definitely though if i was her though make sure you you don't forget to say i told you so no oh yeah definitely at the end you know what yes write it now in an envelope and date it yeah mail it to yourself yeah and then when she and then when she gets fucked over you could just give her that letter.

That's what a real friend would do.

Let's see what I got here.

This is what I wanted to read last week, and we ran out of time.

Piss bandit

taunts locals with urine bottles labeled HIV positive is California's number one menace.

You believe this?

HIV positive piss.

He's a comedian.

Is there such a thing?

There's a cure for HIV.

Like, what is going on here?

It says, someone has been pissing off the rich of California.

Every few days, a mysterious figure in a mask and latex gloves carries bottles of urine to an affluent neighborhood, carefully arranges them on a utility box, and then vanishes into the night.

Known as the piss bandit, for the past six years, he's left his mark on Pasadena with soda bottles, juice cartons, and even gallon jugs filled to the brim with yellow liquid.

Years?

Years.

And they haven't caught this guy yet?

I mean, this sounds like a picture of it.

Oh, it's so fucking funny.

Is it really urine?

It says urine.

It says HIV positive on the bottles.

It looks like orange juice.

It really does.

Yeah.

Now, why would they call that a bandit, though?

He's just, he's leaving something.

He's not taking anything.

He's not taking anything, yeah.

The piss bandit sometimes strikes multiple times a week with bottles appearing in the morning and disappearing by nightfall.

And the bizarre behavior has been going on for so long that round rings have been etched into the paint of the utility box.

And it's always that same box.

Oh, they got a picture of him.

Yeah, he's like in some kind of hoodie.

They can't catch that.

How could you not catch this guy?

How can you not catch the piss bandit?

Because he's not breaking any laws.

He's littering.

Oh, I don't know.

Are you allowed to do that?

Leave your piss around all over the place?

It's California.

That's a great point.

What the fuck are you talking about?

The festering rot that is San Francisco is spread through the state.

Is that what you're saying, Walt?

Well, it says here the city outfitted the box with a pointed metal cover in an attempt to stop the flow, but the bandits simply tore it off and left a

fresh batch of bottles for their trouble.

So funny.

Okay,

some are calling him the piss artist.

The piss artist, huh?

Yeah, so this may, yeah, I like that more so than a bandit.

Well, he's not putting it on private property.

No, he's putting it on public property.

Yep.

You know, he owns that just as much as any of us.

So it's the urine.

That is an extremely

unhealthy looking color of urine.

It is very dark.

It's got sediment at the bottom.

When you got dealing with some of your stones, does yours look all cloudy and

mushroom-colored like that?

It can get cloudy, yeah.

Gidham says yes, could possibly get cloudy.

If you want to hear about Gidham's piss, his handwriting's on.

Can you just I want to ask you an honest question I want to get on Mike.

Let's say the Airport Plaza was dealing with with a piss bandit on your rounds.

All of a sudden, you just saw a couple bottles of urine labeled HIV positive.

What's your go-to move?

Cameras.

Look, look, look, look, look.

Tastes just like Daddy Light.

Now, you think you would have,

or would you be allowed access to the cameras if you went over to Jill the...

Oh, I'd set up my own.

I got better cameras than this place does.

All right, so let's say you see somebody in a hoodie doing it.

Would you call the cops or would you approach them on your own?

I'd observe and report.

Observe and report.

And what would you say?

We have a gentleman leaving a biohazard in our hallway here.

It's a danger to the public.

And our cleaning group.

What makes you think it's biohazard?

It's urine.

What makes you think it's urine?

It's labeled urine.

But we don't know.

You don't know for certain if it's urine, do you?

It's labeled urine.

I'm going to err on the side of caution.

You're telling me, sir, you're going to assume?

Yes.

You know what?

When you assume, you make an ass out of both you and me?

Yeah.

And someone wrote a urine on it.

When you confirm it's fucking urine, asshole, then call us.

Okay, Columbo?

Otherwise, get fucking shamble back up to your office and shut the fuck up.

The Hazzle police are not that.

If Walt were a cop.

Yeah.

I don't care if you're having a fucking heart attack.

You think you're having a heart attack.

You don't know.

So until you know.

Stop talking on my phone lines.

I'm watching Colombo.

You know that's how it goes down.

Verify the yearning.

It says here that a filmmaker launched a month-long investigation into the culprit with his partner, filmmaker Derek Milton.

Oh, you know they're involved.

They're trying to get documented.

They're Blair Witch all over again.

Yep.

I'd look the first people I look at are the filmmakers.

Yeah.

Well here it says this might lean toward your

assertion rule here.

The first video of their investigation gained more than 600,000 views on TikTok.

To the filmmakers, the bandit isn't a disgusting vandal, but a vigilante artist, a Robin Hood figure who has made the town of Pasadena his little John.

His dedication to the craft is what intrigued us.

Now, you're right.

It could be them doing it and then, like, just stooting around.

And trying to get views.

Remember the

clown on Staten Island that would appear?

That turned out to be Fuzz on the Lens?

Those guys who went on to play Terrifier and Scream,

that was their stunt.

Really?

Oh, really?

Yeah, they dressed up like the clown and

got waited till it caught on.

And then they did a thing where they discovered the clown or something like that.

It turned out like it was something they were pulling the whole time.

Oh, wow.

Pretty brilliant.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Worked.

I I remember I was driving along Staten Island and I saw the clown and I got out and I was like, dude, I got to get a picture.

And I got a picture with him.

And the guy in the mask, I was a little, he should have stayed in character because he started going, oh, I love the show.

And I'm like, no.

Be the clown.

That shit's dangerous, though, right?

Because everybody's not like you.

There's some like wackos out there who's like, if I fucking shoot a clown, I want to fuck him up.

Yeah, remember when there was that spade of clown settings and they were beating them and stuff?

Yeah.

The neighborhood is an expensive oasis of an oasis of expensive homes, swimming pools, and carefully manicured lawns.

And people are like, I find it disgusting.

Never did I consider it an art form in any way, shape, or form.

Could you rally a posse together of some of the Airport Plaza

residents?

Yeah, who would you go to?

Two Ron's.

The Irregulators.

Well, I go with Flow the Yarn Lady.

That way

we can tie them up.

We'll use her as a plant.

She'll walk up and down the fucking strip all seductively.

Oh, we'll get her like a

mini skirt.

If I learned anything, it's better to have a man dress up as a woman and do that.

It always works out better, yeah.

You're right.

Does it really?

Yeah, you're right.

Episode seven.

Kojak, yeah.

So Ron Chu starts a cigar so we get a smoke screen.

Are you willing to put on the skirt and go out there and mince about seductively?

We got the Elvira dress still from a couple Halloweens ago.

Don't think the beard will work.

You're going to have to shave the beard?

I can't.

Really?

Not even to fucking nab the piss bandit?

No.

You know, I'm much more of a piss artist to be.

This is how you can make a name for yourself.

Like, you could be the guy.

In all honesty, why do you treasure that growth that's under your chin so much?

This is my grief beard.

I know, but at this point, though, you're seemingly, it's

for the betterment of your life.

Don't you think you could just trim it and still keep the beard and have the grief?

I do trim it somewhat.

I mean, like close, like almost like a Burt Reynolds close.

Yeah, no, not yet.

Because you could look like Burt with a little bit of help.

Not yet.

Not yet.

A lot of liposuctions.

I remember Doe Bado.

He said the same thing to me when I started growing up.

Like, why don't you just shave it nice and tight, like Chuck Norris, I remember,

was the example you gave me?

Yeah,

if you halved it, would you feel uncomfortable with it?

If I halved it, so it's like right here?

Yeah.

No, that would still be okay.

Because I like to look.

I'm not suggesting at all.

Like, this is, I'm just, I'm fairly talking to him.

Like,

if you would like to put it here, it would still be

a wonderfully long beard.

Oh, sorry, David.

Sorry, I forgot.

I mean, it's going to sound strange, but it's...

Nah, you?

Part of me likes to think that there's still a part of this beard that touched my cats last.

I see.

You know, but I'm not saying shave it clean.

Yeah.

But I'm saying is there's in my mind, there's still hair here that touch them last.

You know, I have a I have it's like a little bit of a connection to me.

But even if you have to, that's still the same.

Not all no,

it just wouldn't.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's

you know, that's just how I feel.

It's like I saw a little bit of a connection to them.

There you go.

All right.

So is this then a lifelong commitment?

No, no, no, no.

When I when I get over my grief, then I, you know.

Beard will go.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'd like to get more cats.

So when you get more cats, you think that's what you'll.

So if we allowed you to get a cat in the office, would you shave it?

I'd like it to be house a cat.

Okay, there's always a fucking

caveat.

Always a caveat.

Right.

But you, Bri, would like, you think you'll keep this beard for the this length beard for the rest of your life?

Do you think the day may come where you have it or something like that?

The day may come where I have it or something.

Yeah, i just don't i don't know like marybeth likes it yeah i like it i like it no thank you yeah how much will you sell to jimmy for jimmy the hair guy yeah if if if he halved it and he gave me two grand yeah i would do that

i don't know jimmy jimmy goes around to too many cons i don't think he has hair money anymore i don't think so either

yeah

Well, he's fucking getting married, too.

He's got to hold down a family.

He can't be spent.

He can't be like, honey, hear me out.

Yeah.

Bryce says I can have half his beer.

Only two G's.

It's a bargain of a lifetime.

How do you think that conversation goes?

As it should go.

What?

Please tell me you're joking.

She's like, I can look past the Jungalo shit.

Well, she's Jungaloo too.

Yeah, yeah.

Did you see this, Walt?

This

excerpt.

Oh, wait.

Sorry.

It was false.

They just put it up.

There's this

footage of Bigfoot.

New footage of Bigfoot?

New footage of Bigfoot.

But it's already been confirmed.

It's been debunked already.

Oh, wow.

We can't have any fun anymore.

Everybody's got to debunk everything.

Differing religious, cultural, or that was quick footage.

That was what?

That was quick footage.

It says this is an excerpt from a video advertisement for

Bigfoot head shop in Oklahoma.

Man, I thought they fucking found him.

I don't think there's much

advantage or to gain by people doing fake Bigfoot footage now, because I don't even think I don't think you'll get a lot of views.

Nobody cares anymore.

Nobody believes it.

Nobody believes it.

Nobody cares.

Stop wasting your time.

Yeah.

Go put some grease paint on and fuck a walk around like a clown if you want to get fucking views and likes.

Pretty much.

That's definitely the way to go.

Wolver Bigfoot.

Oh, there he is.

I guess the thing I found out because an interesting thing about all the AI and stuff like that,

they're like within five years, you, you, and either of us are going to be able to make movies on a computer.

Complete fucking movies on our computers, and they're going to look real.

I thought that the strike

put that on hold.

No one's allowed to do that.

From the movie studios to do that.

We could do it.

They won't allow us to do it either.

no of course we they got no say in the matter oh they'll come down they'll figure out a way that they'll make it illegal for for for private citizens to make movies

ai movies i'm telling you it'll because that but how and the what law like that's the silliest thing you ever hear of cha-ching

i think but who's cha-ching like who's money pay off the software people

dude no way i i i mean we can go with that if you want but no way it's out of the bag that genie they'll never let that genie fully out of the bottle.

You are wrong.

That genie is

shit.

No way.

It'll always look like shit.

It'll never look like a real movie.

My friend made this in less than five minutes.

We were talking about a witch thing the other day, and he texted me 10 minutes later.

And he just, I mean, and for the guys at home, it's like a shot.

Oh, that looks good.

It's just.

But that's just still photographed, I think.

No, it's not.

She's moving.

I know she's moving.

Her car is blown.

Her eyes are open.

You know how they do that, right, with the software, though?

But the point is that this is what he's doing in five minutes while he's paying attention to me on the phone.

Like, there's no...

I'm talking to people at Warner Brothers who are like, we're all fucked.

Because anybody can make anything.

Within five years, we're all going to have the ability to make anything we need.

It'll be illegal because you don't own that.

that image of that witch because that was pulled from the internet.

It doesn't.

Everybody's photos will now be

illegal to use.

Doesn't AI put a spin on it, though?

Like, it's not really the same photo?

Yeah.

And all you'll get is people being like, no, I consent to AI to use it.

I'll draw a witch here, use it.

And it's like, what's more powerful than Hollywood?

What industry is more powerful?

Why do you think Hollywood's powerful?

They're floundering.

They're falling apart now.

They got nothing.

I'm telling you.

They're all running for fucking cover, man.

They're all panicking.

Because of some software that people will make their dude, it's not, you can't, there are shots now that you could make that five years ago would have cost Industrian Light and Magic over half a million dollars to make, that you could make in zero time on your computer.

It's done.

It's cooked.

Really cooked.

Are you calling Hollywood dead by

in 10 years?

I think if they don't, they're going to have to learn how to monetize that.

Yeah, but they're fucked.

But you already know that the special effects industry,

the writers, the actors will band together

the the most powerful unions on the planet from doing it.

They'll find a way.

Any more than they could stop us from buying a camera and making a movie in it with a tank.

Do you remember something called

the car that ran on water?

Dude, the technology is already here.

Nobody's driving around.

It's a technology that an engine that could run on water, and they killed that.

Right.

But you know what the problem with the car that runs on water is,

if that makes cars so available that anybody can feel it with water, you still need oil to grease the gears.

You still need oil to like make the parts.

Like it ups, it's the water-powered car is not the silver bullet that kills everything.

It makes things worse because it actually makes a higher demand for oil than was before.

Because now there's so many more cars.

Everybody's got a car that runs on water.

Why are there so many more cars than because what's the barrier?

Like, what's the barrier to cars?

Like, having to pay for fuel and shit like that.

So, right now, you think there's people who don't own cars because they can't afford the gas?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think so.

Or have no access to gas.

But I imagine

the water cars for short-will probably be cost-prohibitive at first until they get the cost down on the manufacturing.

Sure, but what does that mean?

We're talking about a long timeline.

You know what I'm saying?

I just see these industries when major, major change is on the precipices.

The precipice?

Precipice.

Somebody finds a way.

Rules and regulations come into play.

Yep.

And all those advancements all of a sudden are forgotten about.

And remember that video that Q showed us?

Oh no, I don't remember it.

Get him just made this cartoon right here.

That looks like shit.

Right, I know it looks like shit because we're in the shit period of it.

But like the fact that he made an animation

while we were talking

is the sign.

It's going to be not to say, like, look, people are still going to make shit, and studios will have access to Batman, and they can make the Batman movie.

But, like, you know, somebody else is going to be like, all right, well, somebody at home is going to make a Batman movie.

Well, they're going to make a superhero movie.

And we're all going to be like, fuck, there's no rules.

Like, you can make whatever the fuck you want, and you don't have to take studio notes.

Like, Nolan.

Not that he probably gets notes anymore, but like, if he has the power to just make the movie by himself on his his computer and not deal with notes and get to do the purest vision of what he wants out, why wouldn't he do it and sell it directly?

Two dollars.

You can watch my new superhero movie.

Two dollars.

That's where we're headed.

That's a bargain, man.

That's a bargain for BQ's super movie.

Even better, Christopher Nolan's superhero movie.

Yeah,

it's a matter of time.

It's not even like

within five years.

Within 10 years, this whole thing is going to be blown open and the technology is going to be insane.

Do you buy that?

I think so.

I mean, it's already, it's like since the AI was introduced on a larger scale, like Chat GPT and stuff, it's I feel like what we're seeing right here looks like the very first photograph.

And if you put it up against

what Hollywood's cats boxing or something.

It's so crude.

That's because you're looking at the early version of it.

I don't know if 10 10 years is enough time to

I think three years is enough time.

I'm being 10 just to cut a hedge of my bets.

This thing is learning every fucking keystroke.

It is learning more and more and more and more.

And you advocate for that though as somebody who works in the industry.

I mean, look, when the bullets coming your way, you can fucking advocate it for not.

It's going to blow you away.

It's going to come down to like, it's going to come down to

talent

making the best thing.

I don't even know if it's necessarily a bad thing.

Like, why not?

It just doesn't.

Because it'll put a lot of people out of work.

That's the nature of technology, right?

That's what the Industrial Revolution did.

It's what computers are doing.

I drove here, I go through fucking, I used to drive through five toll booths.

I drive through zero now.

Right.

But look at, but haven't we learned the lessons from the past, though?

It's like, if you eliminate everyone's job,

we're fucked.

Society is fucking.

Well, we're not talking about everybody's job.

You're talking about the people that brought you, name the movie that you don't like.

What did you say about Star Wars before?

Oh, yeah, but you got to lump them in with the guys who used to bring your bowling ball back to you.

No, you don't because when you're bowling, now you have a.

Pin monkey.

Yeah, now you have an automated system that brawls the ball back to you.

I'm talking about my job here.

Like, I'm going to get fucked.

I don't want to be lost either, but like.

That's why you got to fight it, man.

There's no fucking.

You don't lie and lay down.

I don't think there's fighting.

I will.

I'll make another season of Jokers.

Here it's my fucking swing.

You know what I mean?

Is this the writing?

It's all anybody's talking about out there.

And everybody does what I just did to you.

Pull out the phone.

Look at what they're making right now.

Look.

And everybody's panicked.

Really?

Yeah.

Panicked.

Wow.

I mean, they would know more than I would about it, but I still feel that

the movers and the shakers, the people that you don't even know about.

If the right people will squash this.

I mean, look, they're going to still have the money to promote in a way that regular people aren't going to do.

They're going to sell distribution methods that regular people won't have.

But even that, I think, is just because all somebody's got to do is make a hit movie by themselves and for people to be like, this is fucking awesome.

Watch this.

What's supposed to happen to South Park?

Watch this, watch this, watch this.

Every South Park spread.

Once enough people, once there's a critical mass with that and people are trained to start taking shit like this seriously, and it's good.

What about directors?

What about

directing the movie?

No, but like, you know, you're

the directors that we grew up with, the directors who, you know, don't have.

I don't know.

Like, they have to make the software so cost-prohibitive that the common man can't.

But why?

To save the fucking universe.

What universe?

The universe that...

Or else nobody will be able to do anything if we're going to allow computers to do everything.

But I'll tell you what, like, if I went to the movies,

if I went to the movies, it wouldn't matter to me if it it was an AI-written script or a human-written script as long as I like the movie.

Like, it just wouldn't bother me either way.

No, but that's the mindset that allows us to

ship all our jobs overseas or to, you know, just bring automation in.

And then we have stuck with people that are like, well, what about me?

You know, okay, you got your fucking movie you like, but now I can't eat.

You happy?

Go to the movies, get some popcorn.

Come see the movie.

I don't have a job.

Oh, shit.

Does your car run in water?

Well, yeah.

I mean, look, I don't love it.

I don't love the idea of people being replaced by computers.

You know, it's pretty horrific.

And what Guinness's typing right now looks like something out of my nightmares.

But

it's just a matter of time for the technology is perfect.

Perfect.

Or maybe somebody has to go in and sabotage it all, put a virus in.

and just like wipe out this technology.

I guess.

I mean, there have to be an unbelievable number of companies working on it.

You can't sabotage them all.

Well, you got to make it, you got to fucking make it to make their lives miserable so they can't, you know, make regulations.

Regulate, regulate, regulate.

Government, government, government.

That's what we need.

This has been another school shooting.

Fucking, I'm trying to work on the AI issue here.

Spielberg might not be able to make a fucking movie next year if we don't do this.

Well, 12 kids are dead.

What did I just tell you?

You regulate them out the ass.

Yeah.

So they're like, fuck it.

It's not worth working on this software.

Yeah.

They're like, because either you guys could either make a War of the Undead movie on a computer or we could all go watch fucking Mobius or whoever the fuck the studio wants to shut shit into our mouths.

Like, why is that better?

Look, man, I'm talking about my job.

I'm not loving it, man.

I'm finally getting some progress in my career, man.

I don't like that I'm going to be supplemented by a computer.

I hate it.

But on Jokers, you could.

I mean, like, they couldn't AI you guys.

They wouldn't AI

the punishment.

It's going to come to a point, though.

Yeah, you don't.

Accused too loud.

He's too much of a problem.

Here's Joe Rogan podcast.

It takes me out.

There's Joe Rogan podcast that he didn't make.

Oh, they just use his voice?

Computer-generated podcast, like the things you like about certain Joe Rogan episodes, and they created one, and you can't tell it's his voice and everything.

I read that online somewhere.

It's not great.

That's like damaging for humanity.

You can't believe anything.

That's, I think, going to be the bigger problem, not whether a fucking screenwriter is out of work.

Like, you're not going to be able to believe anything.

I mean, you see it now with like all the the Trump stuff and the Hillary Clinton stuff.

Like, I see stuff on Twitter all the time, AI, where I'm like, like, I know it's not real, but I'm like, it sure looks good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Like I said, man, they're going to have to go after hard

these software companies that are making these strides and make it.

make it very difficult for them to continue with these advancements.

You know, we got to go back.

We got to take 10 steps back before we can take two steps forward.

Okay.

I just want to see Walton C-SPAN.

Luddite emerges from pain

from windowless cave.

Call the TSC Touch on this door.

Oh, it's scary.

It's a scary world.

It's fucking scary, man.

It is out there.

Yeah, like these kind of, we're looking at some Trump stuff right now.

A lot of cats for some reason with the...

Did you put Trump in cats?

This is just Trump saving kittens.

Trump saving kittens.

And ducks.

But somebody will believe it.

Somebody will believe it.

Yeah, did you see that?

Yeah, holy fuck.

He brought a cat up there on fucking stage with

Yeah,

it's not great.

It's not great.

But they said, but I heard Facebook is like, you're just going to be able to start making short films in Facebook in the next like two, three years.

It's nuts.

It's crazy.

It's scary.

Yeah, you don't know what it holds.

It becomes like, I mean,

we say it all the time, or not, we don't say it all the time, but it's been said in the past, like Terminator or two, you know, like

machines becoming self-aware.

And it's like, it doesn't, to me, I would be like, I believe it.

I believe a machine could become self-aware.

Why not?

Yeah.

But we used to like scream, you know, and pound our, raise our fist and be like, buy American.

One day we're going to be like,

buy human-produced content.

Ah, humans versus the robots.

The lines will be drawn.

It'll be another division, another divisive thing as you're like, you know, like

you

turn your nose up at somebody who devours content computer generated.

You know, it's just another reason to divide us.

Well, the fucking problem is going to be the computer is going to spit out like an awesome shot of like Darth Vader fighting, like in a TIE fight or jumping out of it, landing on a planet, like slicing bitches to shit with fucking laser swords and killing rebels and stuff like that.

And then humans will be like, what if the Jedi was a female?

How do you guys feel about that?

And we'll be like, well, okay, what else you got?

No, no, that's the thrust.

And then everybody's going to be like, well, can I I just watch Darth Vader slice up people over there?

Because that seems way more fun.

No.

Yeah.

It's scary.

Oh, man, you're bringing us down, Q.

I'm sorry.

He's dropping truth bombs all over the place.

Well, I mean, look, always remember that, like, I'm repeating

what I heard from other people

who work in Hollywood.

You got the skinny, though.

I do feel I have the skinny on this because you have to see the look of fear on the faces.

Yeah, people are fucking nervous.

And I get it.

I totally get it.

Well, yeah, well, you know what?

We allowed it to happen to the musicians.

You know,

we took away their ability to make money producing new music.

Yeah.

Hollywood didn't fucking stand up for the fucking rock stars.

Yeah.

They fucking just sat there.

It never happened to us.

Yeah.

Well, the chickens have fucked up.

I said nothing when they came for the Jews.

You know, nobody, nobody wanted to fucking get.

I was the only one.

If you look back at like history, it'll prove I was on the right side of history.

Remember, early on in TSD, I was like, it's bullshit that you could just take music from people.

Yeah, the EMP3, right?

That you were.

And I fucking changed my total fucking personality because of that.

My on-air personality.

Mom, why is dad acting so weird?

Free music?

I don't know.

Oh, it's fucking funny.

Oh, man.

See, what else do I got here?

What's Sage being for Halloween?

It's something called Mommy Longlegs.

It's from

a cartoon she watches, or like a CGI-type cartoon.

Oh, yeah, I know.

They got her too.

They got her already, yep.

Called Poppy's Playhouse.

And it's like, it's the one character in the whole show where they don't have a fucking costume at Spirit of Halloween.

You had to make it.

So, not me, Mary Beth is going to make it.

Yeah, she's making it right now.

So, yeah, she doesn't really like trick-or-treating, though.

That's why I don't understand why she wants to get dressed up because she gets dressed up, she goes to Pam's house, that's it.

She doesn't like trick-or-treating, she doesn't eat candy, yeah, so it's kind of pointless.

I have two people in my house going out trick-or-treating this year for Halloween.

Oh, yeah,

uh, Alicia is going to be going out for Halloween for the first time in many years and taking Teddy

dog as Mario, some sort of Mario character.

That's fun.

Oh, really?

How the hell do you know Mario?

Like, I can't believe that she's even aware of Mario.

I thought Mario was like.

They just had that hit movie.

I mean, it was like the biggest movie in the world.

I thought that shit was over, man.

I was like, I thought Mario was like that movie just

Chris Pratt did the voice of Mario.

I took a lot of shit for calling him Mario.

Evidently, it's Mario.

Mario?

That's, yeah.

Who takes Mary Beth?

Is like, Mario?

Like, yeah, isn't that his name?

It's Mario.

All right, all right.

Yeah,

we don't get any trick-or-treaters at Halloween.

It kind of sucks.

That's why I like to go to Pam's house because the houses are closer together.

So if people actually go there.

I don't have a sidewalk now.

It's like nobody's coming to my house.

There's nothing on my street.

There's no sidewalk.

No sidewalk, right?

I don't marry at anybody.

But my wife continues to buy two big giant bags of candy, fill them up.

He's getting hungry.

We usually put the bowl on the

porch so people can just take it and don't ring the doorbell and bother the dogs.

But usually nobody can do it.

You don't watch them on the ring?

The bowl never

diminishes?

Never diminishes, no.

Yeah, well, usually when, like, my mother will do the same thing.

She'll buy like huge bags of candy, fill up this big bowl, and then like three people come.

So like when the kids come, I'm just like, take as much as you want.

I'm not kidding.

When I say take as much as you want, take as much as you want.

You want the whole fucking bowl?

Take it.

Leave the bowl.

Yeah.

Leave the bowl.

Yeah, you've, many years you've gone out, you've done the New York City parade.

Yeah, I love it.

Are you doing a Halloween parade this year?

I was supposed to have a float in the parade this year.

Your own float.

My own float.

What the fuck?

I know.

What's going on over here?

No, no, anybody can do it.

You just got to pay.

And then, uh, and then, um,

and, uh, I got casting.

Talk about fucking disposable income.

You know what I mean?

Have I hired this year?

Yeah.

My own personal float.

Right.

No, what you do is you invite people on and you'd be like, hey, if you want to come on the float, it's 50 bucks or 100 bucks and you pay for it.

Unfortunately, I had to tell you this, too.

I'm going to be out in California for Halloween this year.

I got casting something I got to go do.

Really?

Small.

Not even worth pointing.

Not even worth mentioning.

Not even worth mentioning.

No.

But

so you'd be spending Halloween out on the West Coast?

Yeah, unfortunately.

I would have been on that goddamn float.

You should go ask the piss bandit.

Oh, shit.

Oh, that is awesome.

Only the West Coast would get it.

Yeah.

Oh, you might be right.

And they don't have that at Spirit Halloween.

Oh, they fucking not yet.

Thanks for piss bandit.

They do have those Spirit of Halloween, like the fake costumes.

I'll bet you something.

I'll bet you BS Jet can make a piss bandit fake costume for Spirit of Halloween.

That'd be pretty easy.

Yeah, I could do that.

I don't even know what I'm doing.

I think when we were out in L.A.

for Halloween, I never remember anything going on.

Like there's parties that I'll never get invited to here or there.

Yeah, well, West Hollywood has a huge parade.

Do they?

Oh, yeah.

It's like so huge that it's hard to get into, like, get into the actual area.

Or at least when I lived there, which was Christ going on.

It wouldn't make sense.

Heavy, gay area.

Those guys, they love to party.

They love a party.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe that.

I don't know.

You doing anything or no?

Halloween?

Yeah.

Sitting around.

I wish I had a party to go to.

Yeah.

Sorry about the parade.

Yeah, what can you do, man?

Start your own pot potte.

I should, but who would come?

Not me.

Not you.

Q's out west coast.

California.

Get him would come.

Would you come get him?

Hell yeah.

Yeah.

Lots of candy.

No, you're going to have to have some candy and natty, I think, because you're just not going to get by.

You're not going to get him to come with

fill up his pillowcase with natties.

Yeah.

No costumes we shouldn't wear?

Nothing?

No guidance for us on when.

We have our Halloween episode.

Yeah, when are you going?

Because that really is going to factor in.

No, no, I think I'm flying out the day before Halloween or something like that.

We're really trying to, I'm fucking busting my ass to get this Halloween episode fucking coordinated with a special guest.

And

it's been difficult.

So we might have to go to Plan B, but we'll wait till the zero hour before pulling the plug on the original idea.

Yeah.

But I don't want to wait too long if you're out of town, though.

Well, like I said, I think I fly out like October 30th.

So, yeah.

And that might be a good thing.

We got a couple weeks at least, I think.

At least two weeks, right?

Today's only the 10th, right?

Yeah.

Yeah, we got time.

And then, and even then, like, originally we were supposed to shoot on the 7th of November.

Then it was moved to November 1st.

So it might get moved.

You know, who knows?

So I might even end up being home, but I just can't lay out for the float.

I almost forgot to ask you, and I want to ask you this for weeks.

Do you still have that motorized thing that you used to ride on?

Like

the little Segway thing?

Yeah.

Gidden wants to know if he could borrow that for his rounds.

Yeah.

Yeah, I'll bring it.

Awesome.

What's the weight limit on that?

It would cut his time in half.

Well, here's the thing.

Is that the only exercise this motherfucker's getting?

Because I don't want to take it.

I'm not giving it to him if that's it.

It is the only exercise.

Then no, I'm not giving it to him.

We'll be using it to go from the couch to the desk.

To be honest with you, I would be afraid for his safety.

He's not the most nimble

person.

He's not?

No, and I would be afraid he would injure him.

Come on.

Dude, you can barely walk.

Now, you think you're going to have a Segway?

And you're going to be able to maintain your balance, you think?

Yeah.

Have you ever been on one before?

Yeah, at the studio.

At the store.

At the store?

Oh, that was a long time ago.

And about fucking...

I don't know how many pounds lighter you are.

If I brought it,

he'd have to sign a waiver.

Yeah, I'd have to be totally not responsible.

How would he be responsible?

Dude, I don't know, but I want paper saying he knows that.

So when he cracks his head open, no, if that's the only exercise he gets, I can't give it to him.

This guy, okay.

No, look at him.

You need to get out there walking.

Are you sure?

Yeah.

I got to do something with that thing, though.

Have you used it?

I charged it over the summer, and I went around my yard with it, and I was like, all right, what am I going to do now?

Sell this thing.

No ads this week, huh?

It's my gift to the listeners.

And my finger.

Let's give it up for Brian Johnson.

Yeah.

And my finger, double middle fingers to Reddit.

Because I want to hear some positive shit.

Yeah, gifting to the listeners.

Give it back.

Yes.

So check us out next week when we have eight commercials.

They're not going to say anything positive.

No,

you can't go.

I don't know why this is hard.

And not allowed to go.

You're not allowed to be told what they're saying.

Has he still been doing that?

No, Ghiddo doesn't tell me anything.

Yeah, even Rupert has cooled on that.

All right, good.

Good, good, good, good, good.

Is life better?

No.

No.

No.

Because I don't really care what Reddit says.

Like, it doesn't really bother me.

Because we were just talking about it the other day, and there's somebody who was on there being like, I haven't listened in eight years, and I can't stand a minute.

Eight years?

Yeah, it's just like...

Not even the same person I was eight years ago.

So it's like that kind of shit where I'm like, I think some of these people just don't listen, but they just don't like me or you or Walt or all three of us for whatever reason.

If you hadn't listened to a podcast in eight years, why would you go to their that was the question, yeah?

That is a weird one.

Did you, I mean,

you can't believe some of the shit they've been saying about you

for the past I've been doing.

I don't say I'll play fiddle.

I really couldn't even defend it.

Yeah.

Yeah, they were talking about how you're a typical New Yorker rooting for the Mets when everybody knew you're a Yankee fan.

But I'm rooting for the Yankees, too.

You can't do that, as you can.

You can't root for both teams.

As long as it comes to the Subway Series.

You're hedging your bets.

No, if it comes to the Subway series, I'm for the Yankees.

Yeah, but you have to be a hater of the New York Mets.

New York.

I mean, I like New York.

This is like what bothered me on Sunday, Jeff.

He roots for the Giants and the Jets.

And I'm like, fuck with.

You can't fucking root for both.

It's just not.

I mean, you can.

It's not the way it works.

Why?

Because you have to hate that other team.

But

why?

That's just the way it's always been.

Either you're for one team or the other.

You can't be for both because it's like, it's called the safety net.

Oh, if

one of my 17 teams doesn't win, well, then I still have 16 others to root for.

What's wrong with a safety net?

Because it's like, because you're supposed to be.

It's not like I'm like Arizona.

I'm never going through the fucking misery and the pain.

If you never go through the misery and the pain, then you can't fucking rejoice when I finally win.

Dude, I'm a fucking Yankees fan.

Like, what pain am I going through?

Like, there's no pain.

There's no pain to feel except, oh, we didn't win.

That's why people can't stand it, though, that you're like, now then you're a Yankee fan, and yet you're also a Mets fan once every 30 years when they're good.

I was talking about the Mets last year, and they were not good last year, and they weren't good at the start of the season.

No.

No, they were fucking, there was shit in the bed the start of the season.

So you're telling me you're going to continue to root for the Mets?

Absolutely.

Up until the point that it becomes a Subway series.

And then you'll put your Yankee hat on exclusively and you'll actively root against the Mets and wish for their downfall.

Then I will, yeah.

Yeah.

But until then.

I don't know if that's good enough.

For who?

These are the unwritten rules of sports.

And if you don't follow them, you will get fucking called out.

Okay.

That's the thing on Reddit.

If I don't go, I don't care.

You also got called out because I think you pronounced somebody's name as Alonzo versus Alfonso, or the other way around.

There was some player.

Yeah, Pete, Peter.

Yeah, sure.

I could see that.

Yeah, they got on you for that.

But they got on me for, somebody got on me for mispronouncing neuropathy, I guess.

But I don't remember saying it.

I don't remember the context.

And I was like, I just would like to meet this guy.

I would like to be like, I want to see you on Mike for 15 fucking years and not mispronounce a word, you fucking piece of shit.

Well, to that, I would be like, dude, half of my time on this podcast is spent making fun of me and the way I talk.

What a mustnot I am.

So

now I mispronounce things.

Now you're like, oh, he's a fucking jerk.

Yeah, he's a little bit stupid.

Yeah.

I'm smart.

I mean, you got me, guys.

You got everybody on who said that about me.

You got me.

A P-word.

A pussy?

No worse.

Poser?

Poser was bandied about.

Okay.

Fine, I'm a poser.

I know.

In what way?

In what way?

Again, because you root for two teams.

Yeah.

It's not the way you fucking do it in this world.

It's one or the other.

You can't have both.

You can't have your cake in your life.

Here's Gidden.

Pulled up Reddit.

So, love listening to Cuban Donald.

I know about baseball in Peter London.

Isn't Pughyoizy hopping on the Mets player and sits in it?

He's a New Yorker.

They always do this shit.

Front-running losers who hedge their bets when it comes time for the playoffs.

That's what Walt just said.

Yeah.

Stein Liland is a part of New York.

Because at the end of the day, you're going to have something to be happy about.

What a horrible thing.

What a horrible thing.

Oh, no.

Oh, oh, no.

I have something to be happy about.

What a goddamn problem.

An adult's playing a game has made me happy.

And Reddit doesn't like it.

Reddit does not like it.

What a shame.

God forbid.

They don't want to see

you be able to have this safety net of happiness, though.

Or you could be excited.

It's just not right.

It's cruel.

What's worse?

What Q's doing?

Why do you keep pulling this stuff up?

I've told you I don't want to see it.

Like, I don't want it in my life.

So, like, why are you pulling it up?

I think he took his cue because

ironically, he took his cue from me talking about it.

Yeah.

I only brought it up because I know because it's so fucking absolutely ridiculous.

Someone's so mad about that.

I mean, they are really, when they are complaining about that, then you know you're doing okay, though.

They've run out of other shit to complain about.

If that's the worst they can say about you, yeah, then you're doing fine.

It's like, look,

here's what happened.

You don't have to explain it, Q.

We shot at Citi Field a few times.

I got to know the players, some of the players, got to know some of the crew that works there, some of the staff that goes there.

They invited me to games.

What am I going to go?

Being like,

I'm here, but I'm a Yankee fan.

Like, fuck you.

No, it's like.

To be fair, Q, I was on a TV show once, too.

A lot of people forget.

And if they were like, hey, the Rangers want to do a segment with you and they want you to come out and

you got to

put on a hat, I'd be like, no.

Right.

Fuck off.

But you hate, but you don't like the Rangers.

No.

Well, that's the thing.

Like, my dad was a Mets fan when I was growing up.

Like, there's Mets fans in my family.

So it's okay.

I went to Feel it because

you'd give a fuck.

But like, I before I started buying like

how could you?

but like before like sal and i were buying like season ticket packages to the yankees in the like 90s and 2000s i had all my games growing up were mets games because my dad would bring me to mets games so it wasn't until high school that i was like started going to more yankee games when i when i started like going on my own wasn't that um kind of uh just a coincidence i'm sure that is when they're they're fucking no it was before winning their all those championships again with cheetah before that it was mattingly who got me into the yankees really and the The hitman, huh?

The hitman.

So I liked Mattingly, and then that team, and then Mattingly left the team, and then that's when they started winning all the things.

So what am I supposed to do?

Bernie Williams.

Yeah.

Paul Williams.

No, Paul O'Neill.

Paul O'Neill, yeah.

Paul O'Neill is my favorite ball player of all time.

I love Paul O'Neill.

You don't think it hurts him a little bit to see you on TV wearing that Mets hat, Paul?

If Paulie could see that?

I don't think so.

I don't.

I don't think so.

He's just sitting in his mansion.

Yeah.

You know, he turns on the TV and he just sees it.

He just comes across you.

Whooping it up with Mr.

Mett.

It's fucking BQ chumming it up with Mr.

Mett.

Fuck.

Yogi Barrett himself went to the Mets.

So you're saying this.

So you're telling me that it's good enough for Yogi, it's not good enough for Q to sit and stand and eat a free hot dog?

So are you trying to tell me that you think it's just a fan mentality?

This says that the players themselves don't really hate each other?

Considering they go to whatever team team pays them the most,

I would say no, it's probably, probably not.

Probably not.

No, but look, it's sports, so I understand the shenanigans that they're doing and saying, and it's like, whatever.

But, like, who cares a fuck?

People do.

Well, look, as long as if it comes down to the wire, I pick a side.

And I'm publicly saying that if it's the Subway Series, I go for the Yankees, then what's the problem?

I can't just be happy.

You can't just enjoy enjoy baseball.

I can't just go to baseball.

No.

City Field rolls out the red carpet for me.

Yankee Stadium does not do that.

Yankee Stadium, I'm waiting online with the rest of the fucking normies.

You understand?

So your loyalty can be purchased.

Without a doubt.

I'm sorry if anybody else had that opinion of me that it wasn't.

Yes, yes, I go where I'm wanted.

I'll always go where I'm wanted.

And the Mets, they treat me really, really fucking good.

So between that and the connection I had when I was a kid, I feel in my heart of hearts that I could look at myself in the mirror and be like, yeah, I'm a New York fan.

But if it comes down to the wire.

All right.

And if you could sleep

at night knowing that there's a certain segment of the ants

who are really upset and turned off and

have come close to disowning you.

Yeah.

It's gotten that serious.

And if you can live with that, then I guess

everything's

kosher then.

Yeah.

Okay, for the same reason, because I'm not a basketball fan, and I think

I got to start watching basketball.

And I'm like, all the people that I know in basketball, the players, are on the Lakers.

So to me, I'm like, well, my friends.

Why do you have to start watching basketball?

Because I've made friends with some of these players.

So I'm like, now I'm like, well, I want to watch.

You're friends with fucking LeBron James?

No.

You're friends with Lil Brony or Brony?

no never met those guys never met those guys who's on the laker who else is on the lakers Anthony Davis still on the team yeah okay yeah it's considered has he he's not introduced you to LeBron King James he met me to a few others but LeBron no no really yeah so what am I gonna do like I don't know anybody on the Knicks but if the Knicks want to give me quite side seats we could so we could start debating this right now on where I stand you know what I'm saying

yeah so I don't know I you know I understand I guess people need something to say but why are you you not going to be able to do that?

And they want you to bleed when you get cut, they want you to bleed pinstripes.

If it's a Subway Series and the Mets win, I'll be bumped.

Is that not enough?

Nope.

Because we both know you won't be.

You'll be bumped for like a second.

You'll look over at a stack of money and you'll be like, oh, well, if the Mets win and they throw a big party celebrating it, what am I not going to go and fucking celebrate?

This is who I am.

You got to accept it.

Yeah, if you don't like it, I don't know what to tell you.

At least I have my reasons.

And you still have your dignity.

Sure.

Steve Dave.