#610: T.O.M.

Hey Walt here with some very very important Patreon news that will possibly save you money.

If you answer yes to the below questions and this message is directed to you.

To everyone else, take it as a preemptive measure.

Do you have an Apple iPhone or iPad?

Do you use the Patreon app?

Do you use the Patreon app slash app store to pay for your TSD or other Patreon platform content?

So what does this specifically mean?

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And you've never logged in through a web browser to pay for the platform?

Did you answer yes to all of those questions?

Because starting this November, Apple will be charging all Patreon subscribers who pay for Patreon through the app slash app store an extra 30%.

Yeah, that's right.

An extra 30% that Apple's just going to take, which with all fees said and done is actually 43%.

So if you're in the $10 tier, for example, and you pay through the app/slash app store, your new monthly price will be $14.50.

To avoid these fees, what we suggest you do is change how you pay for your subscription through a web browser, whether it's on your phone, iPad, or desktop.

If you need any more information or assistance, I will do the best I can to help you out.

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So please.

just delete the app.

Don't even have it on your phone.

Just go through your phone or your iPad to the web browser and do the information there, and you're going to save money.

And I just can't even believe it.

When I saw this, I was fucking disgusted.

You know, it put me in a really bad mood.

But, you know, thank God we have an episode on Patreon dropping this Tuesday.

And so here's the fun part of this message.

So this Tuesday's release is a show we have been sitting on for quite some time.

It's the last show we ever recorded at the Old Stash.

Well, the old stash slash new stash.

It's a show where I play video games against TESD town residents, and it's called 8-Bit ESD.

Now, for transparency's sake, the reason we never released this episode is because the TSD Town resident starring in this episode is Giddem and quite frankly, he's never been more fucking annoying.

So I kind of was like, oh, you know, let's release something else.

Every time it was due to be released, I would be like, well, let's release that instead.

But people have been asking to be released.

You know, it's not like I haven't seen some people being like, release Giddem's 8-bit DSD.

And

that's what I do.

I listen to the people, and what you ask for, I'll do.

So we're releasing it this week.

And I'm just asking everyone to just lower the bar a little bit this week.

You know, don't expect making hay for because this 8-bit TSD is probably worse than taking hay, if anybody remembers that.

So I think that's it.

You know, get that app off your phone.

Don't even just delete it immediately, the Patreon app.

And

I'll talk to you soon.

Thank you.

Time Steve Dave presents and forget for

killing with encounters in the assistance of an old kind

with Brian Clinton, Roger Flanagan, and Grand Johnson.

This week's episode.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve.

Dave, I am here.

Walt is here.

Q is here.

Hello.

Hello.

Hello, buddy's here.

Hello, welcome.

What's up, boys?

What's up?

What's going on?

What's going on, guys?

Happy October, man.

We're here.

We're new.

Season.

Love October.

It might be my favorite month.

Yeah, I agree.

Halloween, Walt Finnegan's birthday.

What else do you need?

Nothing.

I don't know.

I love October.

Love the weather.

Yeah, it was like warm today and cool tonight.

Light of fire going.

Yeah.

Nice outdoor fire.

Yeah, I love it, man.

I'm with you.

It's the start of hockey season starts football is a month old

did you guys see the um i'm sure you guys didn't see it but there's a viral clip going around of connor mcdavitt in the finals last year who he's having a meltdown on his teammates because they're down three games to none and he fucking loses his shit yeah and goes off on all his teammates and it's rubbing people the wrong way

Because he fucking called them out.

Really?

He's like, this is the fucking finals.

Get your ass.

Get your head out of your asses.

Sounds like a team leader.

That's what you need, right?

I guess half the world is like, that's what you got to do.

And the other half is like, oh,

that's too harsh.

Don't call me out because I'm fucking not doing what I'm supposed to do.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It makes me sick.

It's creeping its way even into hockey.

Yeah.

Well, hey, when they stopped the fighting, that was the first sign.

I was CTE.

Oh, okay.

I guess that's a good reason.

Is it, though?

Everybody loves to fight.

If you don't want to wear a a helmet and you want to play hockey, you should be allowed to.

Like, he was right, though.

Everybody loved the fights.

It was like for me, it was the best part of fucking hockey, man.

Who made it stand out?

Other sport, yeah, just all of a sudden you're allowed to just fucking punch me in the face as hard as you want, other than boxing.

As long as you two don't go down, just well away.

You don't even have to know what's coming.

No.

No, it's fucking great.

Yeah, but it's a pretty fucking intense clip that just fucking

even took me aback how how angry he is so yeah and it did rally his team you know they were down three games and on and they came stormed back and tied the series at three but then they lost game seven though and i bet you after game six he didn't do the fucking tirade

they needed it yeah after every game even if we win

it's funny i was watching the new york uh the mets game last night i've been like now that i'm off of work i'm able to follow you know here and there.

And I don't know if you caught what happened.

A three-run home run.

Yeah.

But like, so that guy, Alfonso, has not been hitting.

And he's usually like one of their better players.

So when he came up, I was just fucking railing.

I was like, this overpaid piece of shit.

I was like, look at him.

He's going to get him

to the TV.

My friends in the TV.

And then he hit that home run.

And what do you do, Dan?

Got to be honest, I felt like part of the reason he hit it was because of me.

Yeah.

I thought you felt a little sheepish.

No, I love the improvement wrong.

I was like, it's fucking great.

I was like, here we go, do nothing, easy out.

I'm going to this room.

I was sitting at a bar with my friends, just ripping into him.

And he hit the woman, and I felt responsible.

Okay.

Well, I was thinking, you know, like last week, we had a pretty fucking people seemed to not like the episode we did, but you're not here.

There were a lot of complaints.

It was boring.

And I was wondering maybe if I should have fucking gotten everyone's face before we started recording this episode.

Screaming their faces.

I love that people like...

Come on!

Fucking these fucking Adrian sucks!

14 years later, you still get complaints about a free podcast.

It'll never cease to amaze me.

Get your head out of your ass!

We're talking about the Goldman Scaper, you fuck!

You show some excitement!

Oh, boy.

They let you know, man.

They let you know, huh?

Oh, they're not afraid to let you know.

But Declan, could you put in, um, can you put in when I mentioned Conor McDavid's tirade?

Can you grab a clip of it?

Right fucking now.

Right fucking now.

Right fucking now.

How fucking I know this happened so many fucking times.

That's not fucking good enough.

The fucking finals.

Dig the fuck in right fucking now.

Whatever the fuck you have.

That is not fucking good enough.

Let's go get one fucking win at home.

One win, and we'll see what fucking happens.

But dig the fuck in.

Yeah, I think he's right to yell like that in a team, in a sports team setting.

I do.

Right.

Yeah.

But do you have to be the best player to do that?

Or can you?

It helps.

I think it helps.

Yeah.

Yeah, you want to be, you know.

I watch Salem's a lot.

Oh, how was it?

No good?

Nope.

I have to advise: if you're a Salem's a lot fan from back in the day,

they try to squash, like, put too much into a two-hour novel.

Like, it's a sprawling novel.

Yeah.

And the TV movie was sprawling.

I think it was like probably two and a half years.

David Soules.

David Soule was in it.

Yeah.

David Sowell is in it.

No, he was not in it.

Because he's dead.

Yeah, he is dead.

Dude, get a fucking

lossinger.

Get your fucking head out of here if you're going to cough and interrupt us.

We don't cough on Telestate Dave.

Well, I'm enjoying this.

I don't know, that was instituted around home, too.

I've got all you had for

the last 15 years.

I'm the best player in this house.

You all suck.

But where is it streaming?

HBO Max.

Yeah.

Who's the star?

There really isn't a star in it.

There's no names that I recognize.

Some dude who looks like he's on cheese.

You know when people have chew and they like dip.

Yeah, and they stick out their lower lip.

It looks like he's chewing the whole time.

Okay.

I don't think he is.

Is it set in the 70s?

It's 1975.

Oh, nice.

It's a period piece.

I believe, yeah.

It's weird.

I heard something about.

Or wait, is that a different movie I just watched?

I'm watching one movie, one horror movie a day that I haven't seen.

Oh, that's your every day in October.

That's my goal.

That's your new life goals?

Yep.

Yeah, all right.

My mom and dad are proud of me.

They're like, ones you haven't seen already?

Not ones you've seen 50 times?

Nope, nope.

Nope.

All new ones.

Yeah, I'm trying to remember now

when it was set.

It's just like the guy who played Straker looks set in the 70s.

Yeah, the guy who played Straker, not good.

Yeah, it is.

I think it's 1975.

The guy who played Straker, not good.

How do you top James Mason in that role?

How do you even come close to James Mason in that role?

Well, you would hope that they wouldn't attempt to make this unless they had an idea of how to answer that question.

They didn't.

They didn't.

They didn't, man.

They just tried to rush through it because they made some choices I didn't like.

Yeah.

Now I'm surprised that they can't make that into a theatrical release.

Like that's a pretty

like they did with it.

They're pretty name recognition piece of work from Stephen King.

I'm surprised it's never made its way into a theatrical release though.

Yeah.

I think it would work.

I think it would work too.

I think if you did it like it, you just did it in two parts.

Yeah, you're right.

It would be much, much better.

You can make it longer.

You could be more involved with it.

It's just, they just try to jam too much into

less than two hours.

I had an interesting fact about the 70s.

You know, because the reason I wasn't on last week, I was in California and pitching some stuff.

And one of them is kind of based in the 70s.

And I heard from multiple places that

kids

today

have no interest in for whatever reason they have no interest in the 70s.

They don't want to see anything made it.

The music from there doesn't interest them.

That's because

I think to them, it's like to us, it's the 20s.

It's the Roaring 20s.

Well, it's that coupled with, at least with the Roaring 20s, because I asked all the questions, right?

Every time I heard this, at least the Roaring 20s, we were aware of them and we understood what it was.

What they're finding is like, I mean, again, I don't know how scientific this is, but I heard this from multiple entertainment companies.

They're like, kids don't do that research.

Like, they don't read up anymore in in the past.

Oh, fuck.

All they want to do is fucking digest five-second videos.

Yeah, that's what I'm hearing.

Yeah, like they have the attention span of a gnat.

Yeah, it's fucking crazy.

And the fact that they say they aren't into the 70s says everything about them, that generation, that they're fucking idiots.

It's the fucking greatest generation.

Well, they also don't like sex in movies.

They don't like sex in movies?

This new generation is like, they prefer.

I don't like it either, though.

They feel like if women are naked on screen, they're victimized.

I don't feel that way, but I don't like sex scenes.

I don't like sex scenes.

I don't like love scenes.

I think they're so.

If I'm watching a movie with my kids, man, that's the worst.

It's just like all of a sudden a sex scene pops up.

Or if I'm watching it, like, if my mom's over.

Yeah, but we're talking about kids, though.

They're not like, tits, I want to see tits.

Like, they don't like it.

But maybe they don't like it for the same reason.

It's awkward.

It's uncomfortable if you're watching it with your family.

All of a sudden,

all of a sudden,

everybody's humping and pumping and shit.

Yeah, but think of Stripes when he's looking through that glass and you just see some boobs a little bit.

I remember as a kid being like, Stripes is the best movie ever made.

If you watched it by yourself.

Sure.

If you're watching it with your mom, I'm sure you wouldn't have been so a fucking bad.

Probably not, but at the same time.

But I mean,

I don't know.

They just don't like it.

They don't like it.

That's real.

Yeah, I kind of.

Sex and 70s are out.

Sex, sex, and love scenes.

I get.

Tits, I don't get.

If you're a guy and you don't want to see tits in a movie, I don't understand.

I don't understand it.

I don't understand you.

I thought you said you you didn't like love scenes.

No, I don't like love scenes, but I do like tits.

Like in horror movies, you know, you see some boobs and stuff.

Oh, yeah.

That's weird.

Fucking that is not what no.

That is weird.

No, that is weird.

No, if you're like, I don't want to see them have sex, but I want to see them naked.

No, not the guy.

I didn't see the guy.

Go on.

I wouldn't mind seeing.

Yeah, I don't mind seeing the guy.

Okay, I'm talking about two boobs, fucking.

Oh, okay.

They.

They, the boobs.

Referring to the tits as two.

Okay.

I thought you were talking about the guy, too.

I just want to be short.

How do you care, Johnson?

Yeah, but if he thinks you protest too much, that you're like

you're too ready to to think that's what you're saying.

Do you want to see they naked?

You want to see them naked.

When you saw Ghost Story, the first thing you told me is there's a dick in it.

Right, there is.

That's the first thing you told me.

It's a funny dick, though.

A funny dick.

That's the difference, not just a dick.

Everything.

It's not like I'm watching a girl.

There's a dick in it.

Get the fuck out of here.

But you don't think it's strange, like a strange thing?

Like, you want to see nudity, but you don't want to see actors acting as if they're having intercourse.

No, I don't think that's weird.

That is very weird.

Is it weird?

No,

what's the difference if I look at that or I look at something online?

Then I don't understand why you don't want to see them having fake sex, though.

Because it takes up too much time and it's boring.

Oh, it's not about being awkward or being uncomfortable.

No, I didn't really watch a lot of movies like that with my mother when I was young.

Like, we watched we watched horror movies and stuff, but there really wasn't much nudity in them at the time.

It was like it was a 70s Baroque horror type shit, you know.

But so yeah, I didn't really have that experience.

And especially with, I don't have that experience with the kids either.

I don't have to worry about

watching a movie with kids and wondering what's going to pop up.

But doesn't Sage, don't you and Sage watch a lot of horror movies?

We do, but I know that they're not going to be, there's not going to be naked nudity.

How do you know you're watching new horror movies?

You don't know what's going on.

No, no, no.

I have to screen them first.

Yeah, she watches shit like haunted dolls.

Oh.

Yeah, she doesn't watch like real horror.

She watches shit like Jaws.

Oh, okay.

That kind of stuff.

Yeah.

Are you guys going to see the Joker movie?

Because I think I'm not going to.

I'm going with my daughter to see it.

She's a big fan of the first Joker here.

We're going Sunday night.

I understand you might not be a big fan of the second, though.

Why, because it's a musical?

It's a musical.

Yeah.

I'm all for a curve.

You love something different, though.

I'm all for a curveball.

Yeah.

I think that's what we need as a curveball.

You know, everybody's expecting another psychological, fucking, grueling, exhausting drama.

I am all for something like, give me something different I've never seen before and I've never seen.

I don't think

music or musical.

I like it.

That's a positive attitude, man.

A lot of people are positive.

My head's in the game.

All right.

I like it.

I'm going to go see it.

I want to see it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I think I might wait.

I only saw the first one once, but I knew that was an it was like so fucking

it was grueling.

Yeah,

put you through, like it felt like you, you know, you went through some shit after you.

Yeah.

So I do want to see the second one, but I probably will watch the first one again first.

But why?

You're hearing people aren't like it.

You hear people do not like it.

The fans feel they've been turned on.

Oh, God.

The fans.

Oh, my God.

They wrote letters.

The fans

are being turned on, the fans not getting what they want.

The fans complaining about every fucking thing.

Oh,

it's too true.

It's more exhausting than fucking the Joker.

All these opinions and every one of them correct.

What else did I have?

I can't remember what else I had.

I think that might be it.

Okay.

I think that's it.

So we could introduce somebody else who's at the table.

Since it's the beginning of October, I thought we would do something

very

special.

On cue, I have an intro that I'd like you to read for our guest.

Oh, fuck yeah.

Give it to me.

Do it up.

Good.

All right.

So you want me to do this in some sort of character?

Well,

give it some grandeur.

Okay.

You know, make it majestic.

All right.

Majestic.

All right.

All right.

I give you.

Wait.

Did I spell that wrong?

No, no, no, I got it.

I didn't intend.

All right.

I thought the person.

I'll explain afterwards.

Okay.

Okay.

Now I give you the insidious insider, the honcho of hair raising, the ominous orchestrator himself, the overkill maestro, Maestro.

Maestro for just T-O-M

for short.

Get it?

T-O-M, Tom?

The Overkill Maestro.

Okay, you can talk.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hello, boys.

Don't worry, Will Rogers is crying.

That could have been my intro.

But that acronym, T-O-M, would not have worked.

The Overkill Maestro?

That's perfect for

you.

It's been a while since you were able to come in and do something after winning that coveted.

I actually forgot he was it.

As I was reading it, I was like, what is this about?

Seven months.

Now, I'm not saying I didn't want Will to win, but if Will had won, I would not have been able to pull out that fucking killer acronym.

I actually

remember kill maestro.

There is no other reason for me to win other than for you to use that.

Yeah, I was thinking, like, Will, what could I

have get an acronym for Will?

And I don't know.

I was scratching my head.

And I was like, why am I even bothering?

He didn't win.

His head wasn't in the game.

His head was not in the game.

And I really thought that, you know, my original plan for the winner of the Overkill Maestro was that once a month, you'd be in here.

So it, you know,

where does that go?

Yeah.

It's just hard.

It's hard to get you in here because we really don't know sometimes if we're recording TSD maybe a day or two before we do it.

And there have been times when I've reached out to you, and unfortunately, you know, you're busy.

You got a real job and everything, so you can't just drop everything.

I would drop everything to come for overtime.

But you didn't.

Oh, that's what I said.

I did today.

I did today.

Is it as a pajama model?

His other job?

What kind of shirt is that?

What are you wearing?

Kiddom said the same thing.

The pajamas?

Yeah,

a shirt?

I didn't think of it until you said it, but they do look like pajamas.

It looks like pajama tops.

Yeah.

That's like youfner over there.

I got him out of bed.

But actually, like, I actually like it more.

I think, like, I wish I was a pajama-wearing motherfucker.

That'd be great.

This is, though, his casual Friday attire at work, right?

Yes, that's it.

Oh, it's Casual Friday?

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's the limits on Casual Friday?

How casual can one dress?

About this.

So you couldn't wear like a cat.

It looks like a concert tea.

No, no, no T-shirts.

No, no, no.

It's

business casual.

So are you in charge of the office?

I thought you were the boss.

Yes, I am.

But there are bosses above me

that make more decisions.

Let's say somebody came in and

didn't like meet

or kind of like was flaunting on the line of the biz the casual attire,

you know, the rule book.

Let's say the cleavage was a little bit too I thought this was overkill.

We were

just yeah.

I was wearing more of a DV that day.

The guy that had to address it like Nancy, let's say her name is Nancy, like Nancy.

Tits her out.

That's exactly how I would handle it.

She likes movies set in the 70s.

She likes tits out.

Not the sex scenes party, just the tits out.

She's a big, she's a fan of tits, and she's going to show them.

I got you.

So one day she comes in, and

it's just too much.

It's four buttons, all four are undone.

Oh, four buttons undone?

Oh, you'll see the bra peeking out a little bit.

It's got a little scallop there.

We got a button.

It's not cheap.

We got to buy some.

How do you say it?

Well, that's a good question since I've never had to really concern myself with a four-button person because I deal with adults that tend to actually dress up.

Oh,

that's judgmental.

What What kids do you know are running around?

Well, I deal with people that come to work that don't wear buttons that have four downs.

She's a new employee, though.

Oh, she doesn't know the rules of that.

Don't fucking lie to us like you don't want her working there.

Every one of you motherfuckers in that office are happiest since Nancy got hired.

Overkill.

How do you address it, though?

What do you think?

Can you address it as a male?

Or do you have to send it to a submission?

So that's a good question, but more than likely,

I would get guidance from HR on it.

So, yeah.

so that way it's kind of out of my hands that I didn't make the decision on how to handle those sort of things.

So you want to just write like whore on a post-it note and put it on a screen?

Yeah.

I would not.

Keep it in for the sign of her car.

Maybe whore on a lot, like on her locker, so it's more anonymous than that.

Okay.

Gotcha.

Yes.

All right.

Overkill.

Overkill.

Yeah.

Thank you.

All right.

Well, heavy is the crown.

I got you.

You're the boss of the fucking.

Yeah.

You're the boss of all those ladies.

You gotta get them in line.

Gameplay in this shit at home with your wife.

You're like,

all right, you take four buttons down, and we'll figure out how I handle the situation.

Now it sounds like fun role playing.

Yeah, I know.

It sounds like a fun night.

But your name is Nancy too.

I'll go have a great.

I get her a name badge ahead of time.

Yeah.

You could just not not say anything to her, you could just let her wear the four buttons.

I could.

Oh no, the other ladies are complaining, yeah, they don't like Nancy.

Do something about it, Nancy's young, Thomas.

Can I give it back to them to decide?

Like, like trial by peers, like let them do it.

I think if somebody else is complaining, you have an easy one then.

Just be like, You're gonna have to take that to HR and you're out.

Yep, yeah, they're like, They are basically hanging out.

What do you mean, they?

Which they?

Yeah, because they're dead falls.

I'm sorry, I was just watching a ghost story.

I got distracted.

No, hold on, because this was referenced before.

Was that the spinning dick?

Is that what it was?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You have said that he did have like a 10-story building.

And you see the shot of him falling down to the street and the whole time his dick is like wrangling in the wind.

What a weird choice, right?

I mean, what a strange choice for a movie, even at the time.

Yeah.

So I brought some overkills to the table.

Okay.

All right.

All right.

So, story number one.

Have you guys heard of the demon known as Karupi?

Karupi, I know.

Yes.

Karupi.

Karupi.

Yes.

What part of the world would Karupi be?

He is of Paraguay.

Oh, and all these, yeah, all these small

little villages and shit have their own.

All these weird demons.

All right, so he is described as a short, ugly, and hairy demon who resides in the wild forest of the region where he is considered the lord of the forest and protector of wild animals.

His most distinct feature is his enormous penis,

which he typically,

what would Orkill be without a penis store to start us off with?

Which he typically wraps around his waist several times like a belt.

Nice.

Due to this feature, Karupi was once revered as the spirit of fertility, but he is often blamed for unexpected or unwanted pregnancies.

So, according to legend,

you see where this is going.

That fucking Karupi on Karupi.

It's your fault, you fucking slut.

How could Karupi resist?

Hit the road, Nancy.

So, Karupi, his penis is so large, he could extend it through doors and open windows with it.

Nice.

Wow.

And then impregnate sleeping women without avoiding physically entering the house.

Sigma fantastic.

Yes.

As a rapist.

So adulterous women sometimes do use Karupi as an explanation to avoid punishments from their husbands.

Wow.

Oh, so if they're stepping out.

Yeah.

So the fucking Dimwin.

The women are using it.

The Dinwin at home is like, oh.

Karupi, huh?

Son of a bitch.

Can't blame you for it, Nancy.

God, I heard the window open.

Yeah, so children fathered by Karupi were believed to be small, ugly, and hairy, resembling their dad.

So if your child came out looking like that, that was how they explained it.

Really?

Yes.

Most children don't come out.

I mean, they do come out small, but ugly and hairy.

Well, some come out pretty hairy.

Do they?

Yeah.

Danny DeVito.

Yes.

Wow.

Yes.

So a demon implies he fits into the is

the

hierarchy of devils and angels, or that's not part of it.

No, because that's more Catholicism.

So demons just sort of catch-all word for like...

Yeah, throughout different, you know, religions as they believe the demon was bad, basically.

That's how they went with it.

So and obviously something that has a dick that wrap around its body several times and impregnate you while you're sleeping would be a bad thing for most people.

Good to be the demon, I guess.

You're Karupi.

Nothing but W's.

You're stacking them up.

Nothing but W.

W's.

What country?

That was Paraguay.

Can you look up what

the biggest

religion is in Paraguay?

Yes.

So, and just to preface this, most of this was during the early colonization of Paraguay, so between 1500s and the early 1800s.

So that was mostly when Karupi was prominent for about 300 years.

Karupi messed with dudes or just women?

Just women.

Just women.

Yeah, he's not Papa Bawa.

There was no anal rape, just impregnation.

Yes.

Roman Catholic is the dominant religion in Paraguay.

Yeah, I think after a while, with all the colonization that took place, Roman Catholic became the predominant religion.

But for a while...

It's like Staten Island's Karupi.

See, now if Karupi was in America,

he would not be allowed to just only rape women.

No.

He would have to be like,

he'd put the gay in paragay.

It's paragay.

Well, Roman Catholics, they don't, you know, they don't really fuck with that stuff.

They're still holding the line.

Yeah, but he's not a part of the Catholicism lore, though.

True.

Yeah, that's true.

I don't know.

Even our demons have to.

So he basically looks like a human, though, other than his schlung.

No, he's much shorter.

He's

in town.

We have some fucking short members.

That is true.

Short hairy.

Someone's like grotesquely short.

Right?

So, but you wouldn't be able to tell, like, if.

But do they get the big dick?

You can't really tell.

You can't really tell because it wraps around his waist.

But no, but his son, but his kids.

Yeah, if he passes.

Yes, it actually,

hold on.

So it does say that they do inherit his, well, it inherits his virility.

It doesn't necessarily,

but his virility, so his ability to impregnate people.

I would assume they would get the giant dick.

Do you know when the last time somebody spotted him, like the last known recount?

It's in the mid-1800s.

So it's been over 100 years since he spotted him.

Since Karupi, yeah.

Well, since the last guy was like, bullshit.

So what happened?

What did they say happened to him?

Why did he stop?

A lot of it was the religion taking over, like the Roman Catholic religion, but also a lot of it was just.

Fucking they ruined everything.

Everything, yeah.

No more Karupi.

And obviously, just as you know things progress some just become you know handed down stories as opposed to actual belief and i think you sort of fell by the wayside of more myth than you know uh cautionary tale but if he just wore trousers

you would never be able to tell he was a demon though i think you'd have uh you might have to wear a shirt mascots demon drink shirt pants on somebody

right i mean he basically could blend into normal life if he just kept his pants on.

So maybe he just became, you know, he went into hiding in sight.

Yes.

Okay.

All right.

It definitely could be a possibility.

He stopped maybe running around the woods.

Yeah.

You know what, man?

Like, I'm taking the chance.

Every time I put my dick through a window, I'm taking a chance of someone catching me here.

That is true.

So, what, I mean, so that brings up, what would you guys do with a dick that big?

I mean, I'm not going to mess with the formula.

It seems like he knows what he's doing.

Yeah.

Villagers' houses.

I imagine more laziness from you, Brian.

I expected you to, like, open the refrigerator, make a sandwich.

Yeah.

I keep saying,

I don't know if you guys, I don't know if you guys remember it, but remember in I Love Lucy when the bread came out of the fucking oven?

It just kept going.

I can't imagine that I would use it.

In that manner, though.

Oh, Giddam just pulled a picture of Karupi up.

He looks like the...

water.

No, even with pants.

Oh, it really does.

It kind of looks like that thing that Walt used to be scared of.

The Zooni fetished off.

Yeah, Zuni fetished off from Don't Be Afraid of the Dark.

No,

trilogy of charity.

It's like Crumpy.

It looks similar to it.

Yeah, where'd he go?

Oh, God.

Karupi.

There he is.

Wow.

So is that the mummifying remains?

There's his dick wrapped around him, yeah.

It's a thin dick.

He's got a bit of a pencil dick.

If you want to look it up, it's K-U-R-U-C.

It's about birth.

That is true.

Yeah.

I probably would go into like,

I would have to go into porn, though.

I would think that would be a sensation.

But it would really be like that fetish porn, though, right?

I mean, you couldn't do mainstream.

You don't think mainstream?

You don't think mainstream would be up for that?

You know?

A dick so big it wraps around his body?

That can get in windows?

Yeah, I think after a certain length, people are turned off.

Yeah.

Like, really turned off.

Yeah, and if you can wrap it around your waist, it's reached that length.

Where have all the size queens gone?

That they're turned off now.

I'll tell you what, if I lived in this country, I would make my girlfriend call me

Karupi.

Yeah.

I make her call me Kruppi.

Oh, I know.

It's a little bit like.

That's right.

You know, he kind of resembles Crumpy.

That's what I said.

Yeah.

Did you say Crumpy?

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

I wonder if Crumpy.

The name starts with a K?

Yeah.

We got to go look at him.

Yeah.

Get him.

Can you look at his dick?

It's very, very tiny, Giddam.

Maybe it was.

I'll be the judge of that.

He was cut off

when he was murdered.

Oh, yeah.

We'll have to look into this.

We may have the Karupi.

Like an angry fucking husband of a woman who claimed it was Crumpy man.

Nobody's seen him either.

That would explain a lot.

Maybe we have a Karumpy carcass.

Yeah, maybe you guys have been marketing it the wrong way.

Yeah, I mean, if you market this thing as a dick so big it wraps around his body, you're going to get lines out the door in Airport Plaza.

I certainly didn't fucking see any bump.

Nothing.

Bad marketing.

It was a really like, it was a non-metal mover.

Trumpy did nothing to the bottom line for the stash.

Yeah.

I mean, another stash.

The studios.

I enjoy the picture of him carrying it in a wheelbarrow.

That one in the second row.

Yeah, that's a good one.

I've seen guys like with Elephant Titus of the Balls doing that, carrying their own virus.

Well, that's no fun.

Is that a disease that's been eradicated?

Elephantitis?

I don't think so.

In some African countries, I'll bet you it's still around.

What causes that?

I don't know.

Is it a virus?

What is it?

I don't really know what it is.

I mean, I would assume maybe like a...

I don't know.

It could be like a bacteria.

Like if you're walking around in a barefoot and you stepped in elephant shit.

That your balls.

And you had a cut on the bottom of your foot.

Okay, so you got infected.

You had giant balls.

And then you can get elephants.

Some kind of bacteria.

Yeah.

I don't think that's it.

No, no, no.

There's diseases where if you walk around barefoot,

there's feces or fecal matter from an animal that can get into your body, your bloodstream that way.

Yep.

And I think that's how you get elephantitis, though.

I don't know about that

part.

Must be specifically elephant shit.

I like that.

It's the connection.

Let me see here.

Or have they eradicated that as a like with a shot or something by now?

that can't be that can't be fun, though.

Come down with a case of elephantitis.

Wow, we can.

No.

It's a parasitic infection

transmitted by the bite of an infected mosquito.

Oh.

That probably stepped in shit.

Yeah.

It probably was easy to get.

He got his little

mosquito.

We can eliminate that then.

That's easy enough.

And God

is.

Parasites classified as nematodes.

Nematodes?

Nematodes.

Yeah, you see them on Spongebob.

They're the bad guys.

Yeah,

you affected mosquitoes.

Interesting.

Shit.

And you learn shit on this show.

That's a problem with last week.

We didn't learn anything.

We're upset.

What did you guys do last week?

Well, they were annoyed that Nichelle talked about his bed for an hour and a half.

Oh, his expensive bed.

Is that what happened?

Listen, I enjoyed it because I have the exact same bed.

I have a tempurpedic bed.

Yeah.

Oh, don't fucking do it again second week in the middle.

I'm not saying that back to you.

I'll touch that one in that one.

All right, do you have anything else for us?

Anything you guys want to like?

Yeah, anything more about Karuki?

Well, he's essentially a rapist.

Yes.

So if we're going to, you know, he's got to, if he wants to make a comeback, it can't, he's got to change.

He's got to be like mothers who can't get pregnant are asking him to come.

He's a prey.

They're prey.

Yeah.

So he becomes like the patron saint.

Yes, he's granting boons, not rape.

Oh, like he's seen the error of his ways.

So, husband and wife, they can't pregnant.

They're like, oh man, I hope Karupi shows up and fucking knocks a clean.

Okay.

Let's say you're trying to start a family.

Yeah.

And I tell you, like.

And I'm trying, I can't get it done.

You can't get it done.

It's your fault.

All right.

No doubt about it.

Shooting blanks.

Yeah.

Okay.

Would you be okay with a little three-foot demon with a fucking hundred-foot long schlung?

Can I watch

and record?

I mean, you might not even see it.

He might just open the window.

Yeah.

And then do you tell the family?

Do you like, you know,

the kid comes out?

Oh, I was going to say,

I think you're going to find out pretty quick.

No, no, no, no.

It's Q.

Yeah, Q.

Q Roopie.

I'm not shooting blanks.

That's what I looked like as a baby.

yeah i mean what are you gonna do you want a kid you want a kid you know if it's got to be karupi i still think i would be like you know we can adopt baby yeah i'm not gonna let this i cannot abide by this you know that's a little much she's like she's like go in the other room karupi's here

you can still hear

i guess i'll just sit outside the room

Got out by a little demon.

Yeah.

Terrible.

You got to go sit in the chair.

Yeah.

So maybe, you know, maybe, maybe there's a comeback for Karupi, but not as a mythical rapist.

I want to know if the guys in the village got together and were like, did you get Karupi too?

Because I did.

At least that's what I'm being told.

Yeah.

Everyone but this one short, hairy guy who's like, yeah, no, my wife didn't get Karupi.

It looks like a Cobra wrapped around his back.

By the last release.

It looks like Yoda right there.

That was green, the ears.

You know the eyebrow.

If you look at the original art or the concept art for Yoda, that's what he looked like.

He had long hair and a really bad fucking bang job.

What do you think that says about Yoda's penis size?

It's under that.

I think he's based on it.

Under that tunic?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wrapped around them.

Jedi Master.

Fuck, man.

Interesting.

I don't really have much more for Krup.

You guys ready for story number two?

Yeah, that's the stories we got.

Three.

If we got three, let me do a couple ads.

All right.

I thought you were doing seven because the seven pillars stuff.

Fucker, you told me to bring three to the table.

I got to pee while you do ads.

Okay, exactly.

All right.

Just fine.

Oh,

get your head in the game.

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And then we have,

we got, speaking of manscaped, we got manscaped again.

Jimmy the hair guy texted me this morning.

He said he bought one.

He's going hairless.

All over.

How come?

I don't know.

I think

he's getting ready for the wedding.

He wants to be nice and smooth like a seal.

Yeah.

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I'm having trouble with S's today.

First, the updated trimmer blade features what...

They just said that.

This is what I don't like about these ad reads man is that they're like it's like

here's the bullet point oh here it goes here's the next bullet point exactly the same thing

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Those new LED lights also feature...

See?

They did it again.

The same point, just the next fucking

asterisk down.

Okay, this stuff we don't need to need.

No, if you buy it, you read.

I'll tell you what.

If you buy it, and you should, read the instructions because half of what's in this fucking ad copy

is just something that you can read and don't need to know right now.

I know you want to move on, so let's do it.

Are you sure we're going to get paid for that?

We're going to get paid.

Don't worry.

If we're not,

are we certain we're going to get paid for this?

This isn't the company, man.

This is the spot writer who just writes the same shit.

LED, turn it on, light it up, clean it up.

Oh, well, we're falling apart, man.

The wheels just about fell off.

There's these ad copies.

It's like they'll say something about, you know, like a point about the product, and then the next bullet point will be the exact same thing, except in different ways.

So that's what's...

That's what's gotten me going here.

Hey, can I ask you a question, Tom, about Perupi?

Let's say Nancy comes to work and she's like, and she's really dressed like, you know,

five buttons down now.

Five buttons down.

Mini skirt that's basically showing that she used manscape.

All right.

You can tell she used manscaped.

It's so short.

Did she use the LED lights on it?

And she's, well, hold on.

Don't you have to worry about that?

And you have to go tell her this is not appropriate attire for work.

And she's like, well, my religion says I can dress like this because I worship Karubi.

Karupi.

Karupi, whatever the fuck she's doing.

He needs like easy access.

She lets the religion card on you.

She just plays the religion card and she's like, my God.

I got to let it go then.

I got to let it go.

Okay.

I do have a question about Adam and Eve when you get down that read, though.

Okay, let me finish up.

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Okay.

What's your question?

So my question was, Adam and Eve, so I know that some of these places have like those weird sex toys of like mythical creatures.

Right.

Like Loch Ness Monster.

Do they have a Karupi?

And if not, who do we contact to start getting TESD money to get a Karupi one of me that we we could sell?

What is the product?

Adam and Eve.

So they have those dildos that are in the shape of like

lobster.

Yeah.

I've seen it.

Alien?

I don't know if Adam and Eve sells them directly, but I've seen those like weird dildos of like mythical creatures.

And you're coming down on Nancy?

Not if it's a religion.

Religion or you?

Religion.

Yeah.

No, my thinking is just money.

There we go.

Look at these.

Look, look, look.

Go back.

Go back.

So, yeah, bad dragon.

There it is.

See, look, the dragon, there's a tentacle.

So, my question, see,

see, can we get in, can Adam and Eve put out a special Karupi

and maybe we can get like half of it like TESD sponsors then?

Well, why?

Karupi's public domain.

Well, I mean, no one's thought about making a Karupi dildo, so I'm sure we can TM it right now.

Plus, we have his body.

Exactly.

We don't get credit for that?

I mean, you want to look into it, Tom?

I'll reach out.

Well, I mean,

Can we have Mary Beth reach out to Adam and Eve for Valentine?

If you reach out to fan roll every other day, it seems like

they ask for silicone dice.

You can't ask for a silicone cock.

That is true in the shape of a.

Wait, should I reach out to fan roll for that?

Or should I reach out to, oh, gotcha, cover both all your faces?

These are fucking crazy.

I ordered something similar to Duke's Paul

for Mary Beth for Valentine's Day.

It was Deliene inspired.

When I got it, I was like, this is not happening.

It was so big, I couldn't fucking believe it.

Right.

Oh, my God.

That was just a fucking ornament.

So, Karupi's not the T-Rex one, right?

Go up.

What the fuck?

Who would put that in the T-Rex?

They're in the T-Rex?

Wow.

Yeah, go to.

You're assuming these are for the ladies.

I'm hoping they're for the ladies.

It's true.

It's true.

We'll have to have to talk to Adam and Eve to get them on this Karupi deal.

Wow, you could fuck an alien.

They have holes.

Oh, good.

You got the male ones.

There you go.

Sandworm?

Jesus Christ, man.

Dune.

Oh, get them.

You're into Dune.

What's the name of that fucking world?

Or is it called Dune?

Arrakis.

You could fucking put your dick in a dragon's mouth.

Hazel the werewolf lists.

Look, man, I don't like to.

Whatever people are into, I'm all.

You're not going to kink shame, are you?

I'm not going to kink shame.

I don't get this one.

But I'm not here to fucking tell anybody not to do it.

That's a lot of choices we got there.

All right.

I'm just saying, I'm trying to bring in some money for you, guys.

That's a mythical dildo.

All right.

So, number two,

have you heard that Vladimir Putin,

charge of Russia, right?

White Roll, got that?

Yeah, president.

Yes.

That he, former KGB, yes, is either a time traveler or immortal.

Well, I know that he played Russians' greatest hockey players in a game.

And he beat them all right.

He beat them all.

He scored eight goals by himself.

Yes.

Oh, it's just like a North Korea thing where

he's that good at hockey.

If he wasn't the president of Russia, he would be the NHL's greatest

hockey player ever.

Better than Gretzky, Lemieux combined.

He's that good.

I saw highlights of him.

Oh, it's not like a North Korea thing?

No, no, he's wow.

He's fucking awesome.

And Ovechkin, you know, had a harder shot than Ovechkin.

Wow.

Or it's possible they weren't trying on it.

So what he learned that is.

So Giddam has popped up on the screen.

Giddam, if you could zoom.

Yep, right there.

So in case anyone's wondering, if you Google Putin time traveler, you can see a picture of 1920, 1941, and 2015

of.

I brought a little physical evidence, Walt, if you'd like, a little bit easier for your readers.

So the picture from 1920 is of a Russian

soldier during the Civil War.

Then 1941 was during World World War II.

And then a current picture of Vladimir Putin.

And if you notice, same structure, same nose, same everything.

This is compelling.

I'm going to throw a really good one at it.

You ready for the big one?

This is not the big one?

This is not the big one.

Something bigger than this?

Because this is fucking guaranteed.

This is real.

Holy grail.

Are you ready?

Yeah.

Why do I feel like Tom and Walter just talking to each other?

We don't even need to be here.

Give us the cue first.

All right.

Look at Dimona Lisa and Vladimir Putin.

Oh, whoa.

Tell me, not the same person.

Compelling.

It looks very similar.

All right, but I don't get why that's the big news, though.

So he's been around since then.

He

is the original.

He was the inspiration.

So

he was a chick first?

Well, not a chick, but could have been in a lifetime.

But he was the inspiration.

And

look at that bone structure.

Everything matches.

So gender is fluid.

Yes.

He's a mortal.

Oh, my God.

He's been around forever.

They've been telling the truth the whole time.

So why is he only hanging out in Russia, though, if he's this big-time time traveler?

Well,

it differs whether he's a time traveler or just a mortal.

Was the Mona Lisa painted?

Who was he painted by?

Mike Da Vinci, wasn't it?

Da Vinci.

Michelangelo?

I think it's Da Vinci.

Yeah.

Da Vinci.

Yeah.

I mean, I could be wrong.

What the fuck?

No, I I think it is.

I think it is.

McGinnem, who painted the Mona Lisa?

Da Vinci.

Da Vinci.

Da Vinci.

So Da Vinci and Prince.

The Da Vinci code, right?

Isn't that like Mona Lisa is part of that?

There's like hidden things inside of it, I believe.

Now, was Da Vinci poking Mona Lisa?

I don't know.

Maybe.

There's a strong possibility.

Why else would you paint a picture?

I bet you he fucking he probably killed Da Vinci to keep the secret.

Possibly.

With the nerve agent.

With a nerve agent.

Delivered through an umbrella tip.

Because that's his go-to.

It is.

It is.

He loves to use the nerve agent.

He does.

I've read that Da Vinci, it's the Moda Lisa is a self-portrait, too.

I've read that.

It's Da Vinci.

It's actually Da Vinci.

It's just a self-portrait as a girl.

So do you think maybe Da Vinci and Putin are the same person then?

It could be.

That probably is.

Yeah.

Layers upon layers.

It's like an onion cue.

Yeah, I hate to be this guy.

Well, you've been here.

You always are here, so yeah.

You hate him.

You always are.

You always go right to this.

We're still allowed to do that, right?

Yes, yes.

For now.

Why

would a guy who is functionally immortal bother becoming president of anything?

And, like, wouldn't you want to, A, keep a low profile

and B,

like, why would he want all that work and responsibility?

Like, I mean, low, I would think low profile would be the way to.

You probably get bored if you're a mortal.

So, yeah,

so I thought about this because I actually got in your head a little bit and thought this is some of the questions that Q is going to come at it.

Let's think about this.

Okay.

So, obviously, if you're immortal, you're going to get very bored, right?

So, you're going to take chances.

But here's the way you got to look at it: nothing really lasts forever as far as

think about this.

CSD is going to last forever.

Absolutely.

Look at your mouth.

In 30 years' time, if you went into a coma and woke up

30 years later, you would have missed CDs completely, correct?

Wait, why not?

Sorry, I was laughing at it.

All right.

And I was thinking about a joke about Genham.

So if you went into coma 30 years ago and woke up, you could have realistically missed CDs almost completely, right?

The whole medium of C D's.

Sure.

Slive Aid.

You missed a lot, yes, obviously.

But what I'm going is, though, the fact that there is.

Thank you.

there's no medium that lasts forever so in essence even social media think about how it's evolved in five years tick tock to facebook to everything that's gone all it's got to do is disappear for 10 15 years everything changes everything goes away nothing

you get pictures like this but i mean all they have to do is go well that's not me and that's it Yeah, but I mean, I would see that if like he wasn't picking one of the most famous men on the planet.

So you disappear for 10 years.

You die?

You think 10 years is enough?

You die 15 years later, you come back, you start somewhere small, you build up again.

Hey, you look like people, but like, what is the point?

Like, he's aging?

Well, that depends.

I mean, some immortals have the ability to age and de-age when necessary.

Okay, so

which immortal?

Not aging per se.

It's more of a change of their status.

So they can appear to be older and appear to be younger.

They're not actually like their actual physical.

Let me ask you this: Walt just brought up a great clue, of course.

Yeah, absolutely.

Thank you.

So, you tell me, when did this take place?

This hockey event, this hockey event?

Oh, gosh, a couple years ago, at least 10 years ago.

So, 10 years ago, Putin's, I believe,

he also wrestled a bear, too.

Yes.

Putin's, I think, 70 years old now.

Is that correct, Giddam?

Can you check on that?

But

I think to answer your question, Q, why is he the president?

Why does he want this responsibility?

And to be doing it so violently and badly.

I think he's...

Oh, badly is in the eye of the beholder if you're looking at what he thinks he's doing.

Oh, but guess we can tell who's not for Ukraine.

That's not what I mean.

That's not what I meant by that.

Oh, wow.

I don't see European.

I mean, every Ukrainian pig.

Every villain thinks they're the hero of their own story.

But he may be on a mission.

And this is part of the mission, whatever he's trying to achieve right now.

And to do, to complete the mission, he has to become president of Russia.

Maybe.

We don't know.

There's probably a game plan here rather than him just being nilly-willy, oh, I'm going to be the president now.

Yeah.

But my thinking is, so you're saying,

if

he's 60 years, if he's 70 years old now, and this hockey game took place 10 years ago, and 10 years ago, he was 60 years old, and he beat some of the best Russian players that are in their prime, in their 20s and 30s.

That's remarkable.

60-year-olds don't do do that.

You know who does that?

Immortals that don't actually age.

They just change their appearance.

Yeah, but what about, like, if I was immortal and I was an immortal being, like, the first thing I would make sure is that I don't lose my hair.

This guy's fucking walking around with a horseshoe like a middle manager.

That's how you change it.

That's how you change.

That's how you fuck.

Listen, he's not dumb.

If you stay the exact same age, he's been running Russia for over 25 years now.

You have to slowly physically have

hair like Brad.

No, come on.

Why not?

It just draws attention to yourself.

Yeah, exactly.

You age.

Look at this fucking hair.

This isn't calling attention to yourself.

He's shooting fucking high.

All he's got to do is.

Yeah, but he's aging.

He doesn't look the same way he looks.

You could age and still have your hair.

That's my point.

Some people do.

Some people don't.

It's easier to hide.

How is it easier to hide?

I don't think he's even hiding.

It doesn't seem like that.

Maybe this is the end game.

Who knows?

I don't know.

Maybe this is the last end of it.

Oh, God.

Who's checking him against the fucking.

Yeah, you'll end up in a fucking gula.

Yeah.

or you fall out a window oh look at this falls over on victory lap i mean who's blocking this guy's fucking it is nuts

that is so fucking funny looks like he's wearing a diaper his movement so slow

he scored eight goals that game yeah no but nobody is there to stop him

they're there who's gonna stop there to stop him that's the wow so so any credibility to this uh immortal theory?

I don't think so.

I mean, the Mona Lisa.

I mean, look at these pictures.

You could also put Joe Gatto's picture next to the Mona Lisa, and it looks similar.

You don't have to assume that he's immortal.

You could just assume that he's a time traveler.

That's what I said.

It could be either way.

I mean, I don't know the truth of his mission.

Time travel makes a little bit more.

Oh, he fell.

What a dirt.

On the rug.

Oh, what an asshole.

Oh, my God.

He's got to feel like such a prick.

How could you not, like, that?

That has to be the height of narcissism, right?

To be like, we're going to play hockey.

We're going to go so soft on him that he's going to score eight goals.

You don't think they would have done that to Reagan at the height of

Reaganomics?

They wouldn't let him go down and score a bunch of goals.

Isn't that what you did for Get On 600 Trials?

Joe Gatto.

It looks like Dimona Lisa, man.

It's Joe Gatto with time traveling.

I don't know.

All right.

Oh, speaking of Gatto, he said something very nice to me.

He said,

you know, his comedy special is on YouTube, and it's doing really well.

And he said, so many people who come up to him are ants.

He's like, I'm getting a lot of support from Tell him, Steve Dave.

That's awesome.

Yeah.

So

thank you guys.

He called me up to tell me that.

He was like, I just hear it every day.

So thank you guys for supporting our boy.

I really appreciate it.

So what do you think the end game is for Putin with all with this Ukrainian war, though, Tom?

as the overkill maestro, or Tom for short.

Well,

if he's a time traveler and maybe he can see the future.

No, at all, seriously, I don't want to joke.

I know you know.

If he sees the future, well, he's a time traveler, so he absolutely could take a jaunt to the future and see the missteps and everything.

Correct.

So

maybe

if whatever he's doing is keeping other other things at bay.

So he has to do this.

He has to fight this war.

I mean, I don't want to get too serious about involving actual people dying to the Overkill zone.

Why not?

What difference does it make?

This isn't the right guy.

I promise you, your words will have zero impact

on the real world, my friend.

Don't worry about it.

You're not doing anything.

Have we told the Overkill Maestro's real name?

Because it's.

Have we ever revealed your real name?

I don't think so.

Okay, so you don't have to worry about it.

Yeah, no, because it's mispronounced every time.

Yeah.

But what do you think the end game is?

Like, we were told that the Ukrainian war was only going to last a week by some pundits.

Q stood by them, if you recall.

Yeah.

Now we're drifting.

We're drifting out of the street.

We'll just stand by them, for Christ's sakes.

But now we're going on, how many years now has this war been going on?

Two.

It seems like there's no end in sight either.

I think we're closer to the end than the beginning.

How so?

This is where I was like, I know you, I know this is where people want to hear.

Yeah, this is exactly what they want to hear about the Ukrainian war.

I'd rather hear about Nichelle's bed.

Yeah.

I'd like to come back as another overkill.

And they're like, fuck Tom in Ukraine.

I know Giddam has strong feelings about it.

Can you weigh in, Giddam, about like, where are we at in the Ukrainian war?

How long?

It's been a long time.

No, you don't want to weigh in, huh?

Gun shy, huh?

Saw a couple bad posts.

Now you're not going to tell me to talk at all anymore.

Is that what happened?

You gotta stop, you got fucking beat up.

Where?

Reddit, Reddit?

Yeah, oh my god, 100 fucking comments because of last week?

Oh, no, just because of his

general

two or three weeks ago, yeah.

His general misinformation that he likes to fucking

his Reddit comments are just vomit out onto the internet.

Guess what, guys?

Are you a moderator?

Can't you just wipe it all out?

You can't or you won't?

He won't.

Won't.

I would.

I would wield that fucking power and be like, done, gone, block.

Could you block people?

Why is there a single person left to talk shit?

Free speech.

Answer Nick Man's question on Mike, please.

I'm a benevolent ruler.

You mean you don't have a ruler?

You mean you could just go on Reddit and every cocksucker that's talking bad, you could just ban.

Yes.

And you don't.

From the subreddit, yes.

Well, what's the difference between a subreddit and a Reddit?

And all Reddit on a whole.

I can only do our subreddit.

Oh, well, of course, yes.

You could do that.

Yeah.

Why don't you do that?

What the fuck are we.

I don't like to interfere.

I mean, to be fair, though, they could probably just circumvent it, make a new Reddit, and all the banned people could just go over there.

Well, that's all right.

Who cares?

Well, then they'll really go to town on it.

Maybe bans everybody.

Oh, man.

I don't know, but you're living life wrong.

You see heroes that fight you.

You you think so?

Oh, yeah.

You think the fact that that counts as he watches the deal is that he isn't banning assholes on Reddit?

That's the thing that tells you he's not a man.

He's just taking a beautiful.

No, he's an asshole for going on Reddit to begin with.

Like, first step, I would be like, just don't go on.

But then, if you're going to go on, like.

He cannot help himself.

He goes on, he's not even posting in TSD.

Like, he's getting fucking beat up and slapped around for posting on other Reddits.

Oh, they looked up his.

Yeah, yeah, and they're following the breadcrumbs.

You know, he's got to use his all-related money.

What stupid shit is he saying?

Oh, God.

There are people who have followed my comments for years.

I had one guy go back 12 years to find a post that I made to find something that offended him.

That's how far they go.

Why don't you

just block?

I don't understand.

Yeah.

Just block everybody, dude.

He has a sense of morality, though.

Giddam.

And he doesn't feel that's the proper way to handle things.

Censorship is not in Gidham's, you know,

in his...

It's admirable.

His tool belt.

This sounds like self-flagellation at this point, but.

But we've seen censorship works, though.

Yeah, in eight episodes without Giddem.

It works great.

We loved him.

We're not looking to suppress fucking society ideas.

We're looking to, like, have people stop talking shit about our friends.

That's it.

I mean, that's why these things were put in place.

That says a lot, though.

He could ban people that are talking shit about him, but he just lets it go on.

And aren't you always saying that you're all constantly getting hurt?

Yeah, so why don't you just be like, you can't say that shit about my friends and block them?

Abuse.

There's more about free speech.

If you go on Reddit during work hours, you have to start doing that.

That's it.

Which work hours?

Like these work hours or when he does his nightly two toy no the ones i pay him for yeah

yeah

wow okay all right so is anything before we anything else time traveler immortal so you would keep a low profile i lean towards time traveler i don't think he's immortal i think he had a facelift probably

and i don't think an immortal would have to get a facelift so i think he could be more of a time traveler than immortal and i believe

the mota lisa thing

that's spooky.

I don't have an explanation for that.

I don't know why,

why on earth he's like, Shupin is such a fucking man's man.

Why would he allow Da Vinci to paint him as a woman?

He's a man's man in this lifetime.

Oh,

you got to mix stuff up.

Saucy.

It's hard to worry about.

You know what?

They're going to smoke.

He's Nancy.

Someone's going to smear your doorknob with nerve gas.

Yeah.

Or what did they do in North Korea then?

Conrad, you ordered sandwich?

Oh, hold on.

Let me just wipe up my my greasy hand all over this fucking doorknob of yours.

Yeah, even as a kid.

Butin, not a man.

No, no, no.

Any era he lived.

Suddenly, you're dead at Nancy's feet,

dying, looking up her skirt.

Even as a kid, reading like Raza Ghoul and Vandal Savage, these immortal characters, even as a kid, I was like, if I was immortal, like,

I would do none of this.

I mean, at least Raza Ghoul is like, kind of like, I got to save the planet by killing people.

But, like, Vandal Savage just wants to run the world, right?

Yeah, most immortals do.

But why?

I'd rather be like, fuck that.

But that's what you're like now, and you're not immortal.

Yeah, but I put money in the bank and it would just grow and grow and grow over fucking thousands of years.

I'd be as rich as I want.

Like, I wouldn't want to be.

Like, I would literally, like, wouldn't you just want to chill the fuck out?

Because you just see how fragile life is, and you're like, man, I can make the world better.

I can make it better.

You know, I have the power to do it.

I'm the only one who can.

Yeah.

Sure.

Or chill the fuck out.

You know, one or the other.

I guess.

Yeah.

Maybe it speaks to a lack of ambition.

It could be.

You know, I mean,

I mean,

running a country is not for everybody.

No, I don't think so.

But maybe he takes like every other lifetime to chill the fuck out.

So maybe we're only catching the ones who's doing things.

Maybe every other time he's just like, yeah, no, I'm just going to chill the fuck out for 100 years.

Yeah, but then he sit here and pose for a portrait.

Exactly.

Yeah.

But he's also kind of a prick.

How so?

What do you mean, how so?

Like, are we in this lifetime in general?

Tom.

I wasn't sure where we were going.

All those fucking liberal fucking leading arts are running.

That's not a challenge.

You're a chum.

You're a chum now.

Like, I hear knives being sharp.

100% pro-Ukrainian.

That's not where my my stance was.

Hey, you're the one that brought this up.

I meant

where were you going with that?

How much more money should we send to the Ukrainian?

How many more billions, Tom?

All the billions they want.

How do you feel about Zionism?

Let's think about this for a second.

Let's talk about the third.

Which actually kind of

awesome.

Yeah, you're going to go to the show.

Wait, you guys did TSD last week.

I thought you didn't have to double up.

That's the complaint.

Doubling up?

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

Double dong.

Double-headed.

That's what it feels like in people's ears, right?

They're getting double dong.

Two karubies.

Two is, two dong.

Get ready.

Get ready for the dong.

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So we call them out on it, Tom.

That's what's wrong, though, with society today.

No one wants to jump through hoops anymore.

No, of course not.

But hoops made us who we were, though, made America great, all the hoops we had to jump through.

Yeah.

So Mint Mobile is actually communist, is what you're saying,

by taking away the hoops that made America great.

Just give us a couple of

side.

Just give a couple hoops.

Yeah.

Come on, Mint.

Just make it a little hard for us to have to have.

Yeah, like put in the social security number wrong or something.

Just to give a little bit of some bullshit.

Let's see.

It is that easy to get wireless for 15 a month.

The longest part of the process was the time he spent on hold breaking up with his old web provider, with his old phone provider.

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Very competently done, bud.

Thank you.

Thank you, Q.

Real quick, before we move on to that third story, though, back to the war and everything.

Why should I go back to it?

Why are you such a warmonger?

What does Ukraine have to do to win the war, in your opinion?

I think...

Why are we talking about this?

Do you fucking think people want to hear about this?

I almost fell into the trash.

This is so nice.

What do they have to do to win you?

I don't know.

I'm not in the government to decide these things.

Treat the Russians like the dogs they are.

But what do you think they have to do to try it?

What do they have to do to win it?

I don't know the answer to this, Walter.

No, okay.

No clue.

I just thought maybe a naestro of overkill.

Of overkill, yes.

Not real life.

You had every answer.

No, just the supernatural one.

I wonder if it was to text Will Rogers right now.

I wonder if he would know the answer.

Oh, God bless.

Let him know where it had it.

Do you really think that Russia has no good points?

Nice try.

Well, you think they have a good point or two?

No, I don't.

What?

What?

Should have kept with all dong stories.

Oh, yeah.

That was my mistake.

It's too topical, Topic.

Hot button.

Yeah.

Well, we're going to go Dong Light in this one.

So

have you guys ever heard of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn?

Secrets from Hermaphrodite?

No.

Hermetic?

Hermetic.

Like Hermit?

Yes.

Like they stay away from hermit.

It's a word.

Hermetic Order of the Golden dawn.

No.

No.

It has nothing to do with hermaphrodites.

Or hermetically sealed.

Maybe.

Not hermetically sealed.

I think hermaphrodites would probably be closer, but

hermaphrodite is I am aware of what a hermaphrodite is.

Have you ever treated one at your job?

No, I don't believe so.

Ever dated one?

No.

Not that I'm aware of.

What's the problem with this?

Why are you so filled with hate?

So is it golden dawn or golden dong?

Golden dawn.

Dawn.

Dawn.

Is this a cult?

This is a one-secret society.

Not a society that you don't know about, Walt.

I don't know if this is just something that he's making up.

Maybe.

We're going to see.

Oh.

Because I thought I knew every secret society.

All right.

Founded in 1888 in Victoria, England, the Golden Dawn aimed to revive ancient magical traditions, blending elements of Kabbalah, alchemy, and Egyptian mysticism.

Its structure was that of a mystical school.

In 1898, Alastair Crowley joined it.

Oh, are you aware of Alastair Crowley?

Yes, I think so.

Yes.

And he quickly made his mark.

Is he condescending to you?

No, no, because he asked you a lot of easy stuff that you definitely know.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

All of a sudden, yeah, he thinks he's the real Maestro.

Give him a title.

Guess who the real Maestro is.

Oh, your puppets are inside.

See you guys next time.

We're getting free.

Maybe I can come back in 2025 for next time.

All right.

So when he joined and became their leader, he made a couple changes to the group.

So

he was a Satanist, right?

I think he was portrayed as a Satanist, but

I think Satanists is, you know, how they describe people that they can't really put in a box.

So one of the things he did was

something called the Gnostic Mass.

So what that is, it's similar to a Catholic Mass in the sense that there's a Eucharist, but it's very, very different.

So this Eucharist is made out of

wafer.

Moody Eucharist as well.

Yes.

It's the body of Christ.

It's that little symbol thing that they give priests give the alternative.

The Euchar.

Wafer,

semen, and menstrual blood.

I

Catholicism one.

Oh, same thing Catholicism is made out of it.

Maybe.

They call it the cake of light.

That's the jizz cookie, right?

Yeah, well, it's also got menstrual blood in it, too, so I don't know if you grew up.

Yeah.

It's all dried, dehydrated, though.

In the end of it, yes.

We're not a filling.

That's a filling.

No, I think that.

It's not like a jelly donut?

It is not.

No, no, no.

I think they dry it out afterwards.

Yeah, they don't want their people choking on anything wet.

Okay.

So all of their members every week would receive Cake of Light, it's called Cake of Light, yeah.

And it's made out of what again?

A wafer.

Wafer, which is what semen, Aleister Crowley semen?

No, everyone in the group participates and donates their semen towards it.

That definitely sounds like a college frat thing, which is cooking.

This is the 1800, so

and menstrual blood as well.

We should sell our TSD town wafers

made of everybody's.

I'd like

The FDA or something like that.

That'd be funny.

Yeah, they sell all kinds of

supplements and shit without getting approval from them.

People sell hot sauce all the time.

I always wonder, how are they able to get everybody and their brother as a hot sauce?

As a hot sauce without approaching.

And nobody approves of it, right?

That and coffee.

Those are the two things, especially podcasts, love to sell that stuff.

So why?

Yeah, so who's to say you can't put semen in your hot sauce?

You, Tom?

No,

Tom.

I'll make it.

I'll participate as soon as as Walt tells me he wants it.

Well, let me put this to the table.

Would you rather eat a wafer in which you knew there was menstrual blood in it or semen in it?

Oh, I don't want any semen in it.

You're going menstrual blood in it?

Give me the blood one, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

The semen's too gay.

I'm not going to say that.

I already know I can't.

You know, semen's not for me.

It's just not for me.

It's not because of the gay thing.

It's just, I mean,

I've heard it tastes like salt and everything.

And yeah, I would.

It's a seasoning, yeah.

Yeah, I probably, you know, I don't do well with salt.

I get, you know, I get

indigestion and heartburn.

So

menstrual blood.

I don't know.

I mean, I'll give it a shot at least.

Okay.

It has nothing to do with it being, you know, nothing to do with gayness or anything.

It's purely, I just don't want heartburn.

I'd be gay otherwise

it's the only thing holding me back

what about you Q

I'd probably

I mean it's all dried and in the in the cookie I'd probably go for the menstrual menstrual blood yeah yeah I've gone this far in my life without having semen in my mouth I'd probably like to

you know finish the yeah I'll finish it I'll finish the rust it's probably relatively relatively tasteless, but you'd know.

Yeah.

Know you ate it.

Man, he'd know.

Yeah.

Whoever he was.

Yeah.

All those guys, because it's a whole bunch of guys that are.

A bunch of them.

Yeah.

They're all like, hey, Q had a taste.

Yeah.

What do you mean?

Why are you smiling?

Who had pineapples last night?

Oh, God.

Yeah.

Whereas Menstrual Blood,

I've probably had it at my mouth already at some point, you know, so we can do.

All right.

So here's some of the other rituals that they do.

Can you give us more detail?

I'm sure everybody listener at home is wondering wondering how.

Oh, well, you know, sometimes you just get into everything and then you're halfway through and you're like, oh, shit, you're bleeding.

I'm sorry, halfway through when you realize?

Wait a minute, hold on.

Hold on.

So when you say you get into everything, what are you talking about?

Like

the little garbage can in the bathroom?

No, I meant sex.

Like you're getting into

the business.

Yeah.

The lights click on.

I'm like, what?

What are you doing?

Well,

I would think, though, that if you're doing that activity,

she would have been kind enough to have been like, you probably don't want to do that.

It's not a cool thing.

I mean, the times that I've been in that situation, they've

been thoroughly a week.

It's been, you know what I mean?

And you're in the middle of it.

But not in the waste bin in the bathroom where you're just fished out an old

bed.

No.

No, no, no.

I want to be very clear that I have not, in any way that anybody could prove,

digging through trash for for tampon.

Which one are you doing?

That or the semen cookie?

Wet, a wet tampon

or semen cookie?

Moist.

So, so not fresh, but I mean, probably at that point, I guess I'd go for the cookie.

You're gonna throw up.

You're gonna throw up otherwise.

Yeah, it just seems like, yeah, maybe I'll just

take the shot.

You got any more chocolate chips?

God damn it, only dark chocolate.

So, Wayba, why did you bring this story, though?

We're getting there.

We're getting there.

Okay, all right.

We got more.

We got more.

We derailed.

All right.

So another one of his things is

sexual magic and how to harness it.

Alan Moore is into sexual magic.

Alan Moore is into sexual magic?

Really?

Comic book writer.

Yes.

He's a warlock.

Is he?

Like an official warlock?

Wow.

Well, I don't know if he's going to be official, but

he practically labels himself.

So I wonder if any of his sex magic, are you aware of what he does?

Let's see if it guides him.

Maybe he is part of the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn.

Oh, he is from England.

Ooh.

All right.

So, this one's called The Sleep of Celoam.

So, what happens is one person is picked and they ingest some drugs, hallucination drugs, and they are brought to the very edge of orgasm multiple, multiple, multiple times, edging, if you will.

Again, over and over until they get to a point of exhaustion.

And then they go into this somewhat.

That's me once I get an IV.

I thought that was just because you didn't drink any water.

No, I didn't tell you the real reason.

It was sexual exhaustion.

I was edging ferociously

all weekend.

But wait a minute.

But wait a minute.

You say they are brought.

Who's they?

Like, is this just a males or is this females can be brought to the edge?

Either one, either one.

So there's a specific person they pick.

That's the host that they do it with.

And multiple people.

In fact, the way it was described in the articles I read was that

they have three or four people because sometimes the people doing it actually get tired from bringing these people to that.

It's stimulating.

Yes, over and over again.

So they have to bring in multiple people to keep doing it.

This goes on for hours.

Sounds like a Diddy party.

Do you not want to talk about that?

Oh, you're getting there?

Yeah.

You really thought he was waving you off.

You buried the lead.

Oh, you buried the lead.

He even thinks that Diddy could touch my body.

You buried the lead.

God damn it.

We'll get to it.

All right.

Okay.

So

over and over again, what happens is eventually they fall into this semi-lucid state in between sleep and consciousness.

And during that time, they're able to speak to otherworldly, yes, otherworldly beings.

Yes, they can speak to higher levels of people.

And that's what it's through, through the ability of that right to the edge of orgasm.

And that's what does it over and over and over and over.

How long?

How many times?

Hours.

Now, what happens, though, if you're not a great edger and you bring that person to full orgasm?

Get carried away.

After all those hours, you know, what happened?

You're probably not allowed to edge anymore.

Probably not.

No, I think you've got to be pretty good at

getting them right to that.

Like, facial features probably get tied into it.

I don't know if you can.

Well, they're probably.

Like, grouping.

Nancy, get in my office.

Yeah, but I mean, the people who are edging, though, they don't want to finish.

So they're probably like, stop, stop, stop, stop, right?

Correct.

Yes.

Nobody wants to finish.

Everyone.

Yeah, but how do you know when someone's on the

butt almost that like, all right, stop, stop, stop.

And then you got to calm down and then rile back up.

Dig a Spider-Man.

Yeah, the Spider-Man's right.

Yeah.

Over and over and over and over again for hours until that exhaust.

So do you think that everybody in the church is just like, please pick me?

Because

I want to see the entity first off, and I want to be pleasured for hours on end.

So I know that they say that.

It's much rather better positioned than to be the guy that has to be like, well, I got to jerk this guy off now for hours on end.

There are women that are picked as hosts, too.

So you could be the one.

Yeah, you could be the one.

So

how would you do that, though?

What would you do?

If I have to explain that to you, we have to.

But what would you do?

Because you can't really tell.

What can't you tell?

Like, you don't know how close it is.

Unless she has to tell you to stop then.

Do we have to have a sex ed class next time with you to explain that to you?

Really, though?

I'm pretty sure she can tell you.

All right, I'm right there.

I'm right there.

Stop.

They could use words.

Okay.

And

you think that you're

conditioned or disciplined enough to be like to stop when you know you're not.

Well, you're not.

You finally got her on the edge.

And now you're going to, now you're going to be like, okay, I'm going to stop.

Well, it's not because it's not sex.

You would be.

Oh, you're not using your hands or anything?

You would use your hands, yes.

So not your penis.

So you would easily be able to stop.

You're not in your mouth.

You don't have a mouth or not.

Yeah, I would assume so.

Have you ever heard of penis warming?

A sex act called penis warming?

I don't think I have.

Explain more.

That is like where you get hard and the girl puts your member in her mouth and then just leaves, doesn't move, just keeps it there while you read a book or play a video game or do whatever.

Or edge.

I guess, yeah, like eventually they get it.

So, do you think

you'd be able to do that?

No, I don't think so.

No, you wouldn't be able to warm people.

Like, if that brought you.

Oh, whoa, whoa, it's me.

Wait, which one?

You're warming it up.

I was going to say, am I warming it up?

No, I'm out.

No, you wouldn't be able to warm it up.

No.

Not to see God?

No.

Well, I wouldn't see God because I'd be the one warming.

Yeah, but you get your turn.

You're next.

No.

Warmers go next.

No, because the way it explains is they use the same people over and over again because you sort of get a.

You become conditioned.

Exactly.

Like,

you're not a three-pump chump.

That's correct.

Yes.

Exactly.

You're not going to blow it in the first five minutes of someone touching it.

And that's not going to help.

No one's going to see God.

Then you just wasted everyone's time.

Yep.

Wow.

All that effort for nothing.

That's amazing.

They worked that into like, you want to see God?

That's one I haven't used.

I think they've been using that since the dawn of time.

Yes.

So, any other questions about the sleep of Salom before I move on to the last?

The last?

Wait a minute, but

so

everybody gets to see God?

No, only the host.

Only the person who's getting manipulated.

Correct, yes.

And there's only a certain amount of people in there.

So obviously.

But it's not, it's not the Catholicism God.

No, it's a higher being.

Yes, it's a higher being, yes.

In fact, there's actually a separate section where Aleister Crowley wrote a book called The Book of Law, and it was during one of those sleeps of Salom that he

talked to a higher being known as Awis.

And that's how he actually wrote the book.

He wrote a whole book based on his conversations with Awis.

Wow.

Really?

Yeah.

Yep.

So, what did they talk about?

Do you know?

There's different parts of the book.

The most of the book consists of being an individual and not conforming to societal norms and just

doing what makes you happy despite anything else.

It's

your happiness.

It sounds like society today.

Well, your happiness uh it supersedes every other laws everything that that's that's basically what does sound like society to them holy fuck they won yeah

let me ask you something after you speak to this entity are you allowed to finish up are you allowed to be like all right top me off i'm done i'm sure you yeah it's probably not yeah

yeah

i agree yeah

yeah so that's what's your record tom my record of for holding out for warming or holding out

well what's the lot?

Actually, what's your like.

Can you stand up?

I don't know.

You've seen the size of the books I read.

Can you stand toe-to-toe with some of these guys that edge for hours?

Nah, I don't think so.

I think I'm probably at most

start to finish, probably about 40 minutes.

So I'm not going hours.

You haven't tried to beat that?

40 minutes.

But for what reason?

What reason am I trying to beat that for?

Just, you know, just for shits and giggles.

For your own sake, I've written it.

Well, I mean, now, after reading this, now I probably got to challenge myself to see if I could speak to a higher being of it.

40 minutes, though, huh?

You're a young man, too.

Oh, I'm 40 minutes.

Yeah, you're much younger than I am.

40 minutes of actual sense.

You're pumping nonstop for 40 minutes.

No, no, no, no, no.

Yeah, you should be involved in the party.

But there's

involved for 40 minutes.

You should be into the 90-minute range.

Now, you know, you're a young buck.

When I was your age, I was into the over, and then it was a triple-digit minutes.

Triple-digit minutes?

Yeah, no.

I had to go.

I wake up at 5 o'clock in the morning.

Homeboy had to use a calendar.

Oh, I'm sorry.

You had to wake up at 5 o'clock.

I have to wake up at 5 o'clock in the morning.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, we don't got time.

There's no time for fucking.

We don't have an extra 30 minutes.

No.

No.

And 40 is like weekend sex.

Weekday sex.

20 tops.

20 tops.

Yeah.

You'll never make it in the fucking Buddhist religion.

Well, listen, I just found out about this.

I haven't tried.

Now I got something to shoot for.

Are you interested in trying the warming?

I got no.

Well, I'm the one.

Which part?

No, receiving.

Do you think that's something you would use?

I don't think my can talk my wife into that.

No, you don't think she wants to sit there for 40 minutes with a

penis in her mouth?

I'm thinking if I'm saying, like, hey, can we go like...

Can she do a Sudoku puzzle while she's doing a pudokoo?

She does.

It loves Sudoku.

She does.

And tangrums.

If I could get her like a tandrum puzzle.

We call this tom warming.

You know, guys, it's Friday night.

We don't have too much recording.

I will start.

I will bring it up tonight.

I've had girls cool enough to give me a blowjob while playing video games, but like not just sitting there.

She's not going for that.

She can't go on to Amazon and just search

for shit to buy.

Maybe if I set like a, hey, if it sits in for five minutes, you can search the price range of like zero to a hundred.

Give her something to shoot for, maybe.

Sting talks seven-hour tantric sex with Trudy Styler, who I guess is his wife.

Sting can do seven hours.

Yeah, I'm not Sting.

How old's Sting?

He's got to be like close to 70, right?

He's older than you.

He is.

I know.

That doesn't like, you know, make you think to yourself, shit, man, what am I doing here?

Because there's going to be a point, like, you're right at that cusp of old man.

I was a young boy a minute ago.

Now I'm an old man.

How old are you?

42.

Oh,

definitely.

You're on the cusp, son.

You're about your days of trying to reach seven hours

are fucking

fast approaching.

Did you sound like a balloon deflating?

Listen, but I do have the vasectomy going for me.

Sex is easier.

I don't got to worry about anything else.

Why, because of the sense of the vasectomies?

Yeah, you don't got to worry about any of those things.

But did you worry about impregnating?

Was that something that was in the back of your mind?

Is impregnating?

Yeah, absolutely.

You know how expensive kids are?

Yeah, I had it too, but I never once said to myself, like, I allowed it to creep into

what I was doing, though.

I never once was like, boy, I better

pull out.

I better be careful.

No, but that's why we use condoms now.

I don't have to worry about condoms.

I'm saving tons of money.

You're using condoms?

Oh, yes.

You haven't been able to go seven hours?

If I had a condom, I could go for seven days.

You know what?

I think my wife's going to look at me really weird if I try to pull out a condom now.

But

listen, next overkill, I'll shoot for 90, okay?

I'll report back.

Sting says tantric health is very sexy.

I mean, very, very healthy.

Sorry.

Yeah, you see God.

Well,

he's just a rock star who wants to fuck weird.

Like, he's got a kink.

Eight hours.

He's not about health.

Like, doesn't eight hours seem like a long time, even for that?

He says seven hours includes dinner in a movie.

All right.

I like his attitude.

Look at even his fucking build.

He's 71.

Man,

he must get beyond something.

It does look healthy.

Yeah, he looks like he's a bad one.

It's sucking the life out of him, though.

What?

He has not a zero ounce of fat.

That's what's going on.

He's got seven hours of sex.

Oh, so the more fat you have him, the more life you have?

No, I'm saying the life

going to live forever.

All right, I'm sorry.

Ready for the third one.

All right, all right, last one.

Yes, sorry.

All right, last one is that there's just a regular sexual magic that is performed where the whole church circles around two people having sex, and they all chant one person's name, and the sex goes on as long as possible while every single person is chanting that.

And what is supposed to happen is that primal urge and everything attached to that sex that's currently happening feeds into the energy of that one person and gives them strength and luck and according to Alistair Crowley, magic abilities.

So that was one of the big sexual things that they did was

like it wasn't it was sex with a group of people around everyone chanting the exact same words over and over and over and over.

It was the person's name.

So it was one of the two people.

No, it's my chant during sex.

It was one of the two people.

It tended to be Alistair Crowley because he wanted to harness that power.

But one of the things that I discovered on the dark web while researching.

Oh.

You are able to go on the dark web for a while.

As the maestro of overkill.

Yeah.

That's your playground.

Yeah.

That's your playground.

That's where you live.

You don't ever go back into regular.

Never.

I don't want to see you on eBay.

Dark eBay is the only one I'm going to let in.

Is that there are some connections between a certain famous, currently now in trouble music producer, and things that happened at his parties that could be connected to Alistair

Crowley and the Hermetic Order of the Golden Dawn that they were having these sex parties.

Freak off.

Yeah, the freak off.

So,

do you put any credence on the urban myths that Hollywood is full of Satanists and pedophiles?

No, I don't have any credence to that.

But as long as it's not not,

I don't think anything could be filled with that, yet.

But,

I mean, so think about it.

He changes his name from Puff Daddy to P.

Diddy.

So he has a new name, a virginal name, if you will, right?

He starts at virgins because it was, it didn't have anything attached to it prior.

So Puff Daddy was what he used for years.

So he takes this brand new name, this brand new identity.

P.

Diddy.

Yes, he becomes P.

Diddy.

He starts having these freak-off parties.

Everyone has sex, chants, P.

Diddy's name.

He starts channeling that power.

More money.

More problems.

And he becomes much more popular.

He harnesses all that energy into what he has today.

Could they be connected?

I mean, we're learning a lot about all those, was it thousand bottles of baby oil he had everywhere?

People were having sex with him.

Could they be used?

But are these rumors or are these facts?

The dark web says it could go either way, but I mean, there are definitely rumors of this.

Well, they were in the indictments, right?

They were in the

do you think that there's

an unbelievable guest list or that like some big names that are going to be exposed?

Nope.

Because they never are.

I don't know the real answer to that.

This is where you guys get derailed.

This is where you guys get derailed.

This is where people start losing you guys.

You start going on the real end.

Stick with Karupi.

The circus surrounding Epstein.

And then the income.

I'm going down a dark hole, guys.

You know, like the same thing's going going to be with Diddy.

I mean, it is.

This is weird.

What don't they like?

They don't like

people get exposed.

People in power being exposed for being fucking perverts and

I think that you have half your audience that believes one way, half your audience that believe the other.

So one half of your audience is going to hate it.

But I guarantee you

that everyone's going to love it.

Why would any part of our audience?

I'm really pushing Karuba.

If we talk about Jefferson.

I want that sex doll money.

That's what I want, Jonathan.

You think there's people upset if if we talk about Jeffrey Epstein?

Well, I think there's groups of people that believe different things about it.

So, yes.

Really?

Yes.

What?

There's a certain segment of the population.

Who's pro-Epstein that we got to worry about?

Who's pro-Epstein?

Let me rephrase that.

I think there are people that believe, like, yes, there are things that want it, but there are other people that believe that, like, every Hollywood celebrity has been there and is connected to it and everything.

While other people are like, no, plenty of bad things happened.

He should be punished.

This is where it is.

But I think other people think that everyone was connected to it.

I heard very powerful politicians, maybe some that even slept in the White House.

Maybe.

Are a part of it.

And it's about to be exposed.

So Jimmy Carter?

Happy 100th birthday, Mr.

Carter.

I can't wait to vote for Kamala Harris.

That's all I care about.

Have you ever heard such bullshit in your entire life?

The dude does not look alive.

They were wishing him a happy birthday, and he said, this is just another birthday.

I'm really excited about voting for Kamala Harris.

He's still pulling for party, huh?

Even at the end, that's what they say.

He's still doing it.

He's been in hospice for years.

I think, yeah, I think like two or three years he's been in hospice where like every day they thought he was going to die.

But nope, just celebrate 100th birthday.

Awesome.

I would like to live to be 100, but I don't know if I'd like to be live, like if that was the conditions, though.

you know, that I couldn't do anything.

You're on a bed and your mouth is hanging open and people are like, is he alive?

Yeah, that would be rough.

I wouldn't want to live it that way, but I also wouldn't want to die either.

I don't know.

It's a rough one.

I don't know.

I think, though, like, I mean, we're still, I mean, we're not young, but we're not 100.

I think by the time you get to that point, you're so tired of all the bullshit that comes along with being old that you're like, I'm ready.

I don't care anymore.

That's what I don't care.

Yeah, my grandparents and everything.

Even my parents are getting older, and they're like, My dad's like, fuck this.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I get it.

I get it.

So I do appreciate you, Tom Neo, bringing a story like this.

Two stories

that are kind of, you know,

that go into areas that could be dicey for you personally.

Yeah, that's me personally.

Yeah.

You personally could take a hit.

I know

that dick tied around his place, so I really worried about that.

It was the Putin and

your anti-Hawkins.

All right, well, book those.

So, Q, you get invited to one of these free call parties.

Freak off or a white party?

What was the other one you said?

Or the white parties he used to throw?

Oh, the sex party one.

Yeah.

That's the freak off.

Yes.

Yeah, I would never have gone.

That's the sort of thing where I'm like, yeah, I definitely would never have gone.

No cameras.

Everyone wears a mask.

I mean, so now you're just talking about something else completely.

Well, yeah, sort of.

I'd probably still be too afraid of STDs, but I'd like to think that if I got invited to an honest-to-god orgy,

I'd like to think there's a chance I'd go.

I'd like to about myself.

Even as a spectator, yeah, yeah.

Well, I've been in like the sex clubs in Manhattan, like I've dipped in here and there and like seen it.

It's always lame.

Like, I just wonder, like, I don't know, like, an actual orgy.

Got to be fun, right?

Satanic orgy.

What do you think?

Like, you get there, and you're like, How do you get there?

And it's like, oh, we saw you in Philadelphia where you're like, holy fuck.

It's like, well, that, you know, you said you hadn't had sperm in your mouth, so that probably would

probably be the place where it finally would get.

But I'd rather, can't I be distributing the sperm?

Like, why do I got a receptacle?

You're in an orgy.

Yeah.

It's bound to splash.

Everything is going to be all over the place.

It's not what it is.

You didn't say it was an orgy with fucking women.

You take a friendly fire.

Hey, look, if I'm there,

I'm there.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm in it.

What do you want from me?

But I think in reality, I'd be too chicken shit.

I think I'd be like, I can't go.

Really?

I hate to think of a BQ that's chicken shit.

At this age, in my 30s?

20s?

Yeah.

You could have stopped me from going.

You couldn't have stopped me from going.

But now, yeah, at this age, I'm like, I don't know.

White party, though, you're in?

I mean, they sounded like pretty good fucking parties, but like, I've never been invited to a party like that, so I don't think there's like any difference.

What is that?

I don't even know what that is.

It's like he would throw these huge parties, and everybody had to wear white.

That's why it was called the white parties.

Like, head to toe white.

If you weren't in white, you weren't allowed in.

And he would throw it in the Hamptons.

He would throw it in Manhattan.

And apparently, they were fucking great parties.

It was at night when the sun went down that they would switch over to the other stuff where they became the freak offs.

But

I don't know.

There's never been a danger of me getting invited to anything like that.

Yeah, like nobody's ever been like, we got to get the impractical drink this day.

Definitely not at the freak off.

Let's get these four assholes.

The only thing I can see finding his way into a freak off is Ming.

Is Ming?

Yeah, that's true.

Somehow he just ends up, he's on Instagram.

He's on a con, gets invited.

Big ups to Pete Diddy.

Oil doused in baby oil.

Like a naked Leonardo Diaprio in the background.

Thumbs up.

He's got that speedo from the Colin McCorne episode.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, there they are.

The fucking white part.

I mean, you always heard about them.

They were legendary.

But.

But what makes them legendary?

Is it like the people who are using the

people, the musical people?

Like the.

I think it's all the above, above right it's the people the location like the connections that you make with people i guess like yeah i guess yeah for sure but a good party is a good party too

you know look at them yeah look at them partying down and i just also would be like i don't want to fucking wear white like i'm not doing this like now i'm part of something yeah that's that would probably kick in right be like i'm not putting on white for this asshole but you would be surrounded by celebrities though i know i know and we'd all be in white and i but that would be wild though because you look up you know there's you you know, there's somebody you admire, you know, from this show, and there's somebody you're like, oh my God, there's this singer.

And they're like, oh, my God, now they're fucking, oh, my God, now he's fucking me.

Yeah, the movie's all just thoughts going through.

It's just like, shit.

And I'd see it going this way.

Now they're fucking me.

Now he's fucking me.

Yeah, look at it.

Yeah, they all look like they're having a good time.

They're for sure they're having a good time.

I would just feel like a little bit like, I'm not wearing white because P.

Diddy fucking told me to.

You feel too self-conscious.

Yeah, like, fuck off, man.

You don't usually wear white?

I don't even think I'm...

I might own two white t-shirts.

Is it because you feel you don't look good in white?

Hey, it's just New York, man.

You know, we all dress in black.

Okay.

Yeah.

I've never seen you in white.

Yeah.

I'm sure you'd look fine in white.

I don't think you'd

have a bad eyelash.

You got what you got.

So even if I wore white, I don't think I'd suddenly look gross or better.

You know what I mean?

I just, it's more for like stains, I think.

You know?

Well, it has to be some sort of ritualistic thing, though, that he made him wear white.

Well, that's what my boy would be in.

That's what I mean.

Maybe that's because

everyone would be equal.

No fancy colors, no anything like that.

Everyone's wearing the exact same thing.

I think it's more to like, you know,

it's more to look like a virgin, but you

ain't no virgin.

When the freak offs, you got a giant pile of white clothes.

It's like a costume.

You're wearing a virgin costume that you shed like a snake skin, like a serpent,

like a satanic serpent.

Yeah.

Do you think they get told ahead of time, like, hey, you get invited to the white party, and then, but later, the freak off?

Or is it just sort of like...

You drift into it.

Were they the same party?

They were definitely the same party.

I thought that's what you were saying.

Oh, that's what I say.

Who knows?

Well, I think it's only the biggest of the bigwigs.

You know, it's like superstar athletes, superstar actors, Kardashians.

Musicians, influencers.

You know, that's who are they?

They ain't just accepted anybody.

Tommy Lee.

Tommy Lee from Motley Cruise.

Yes.

He was up like two pictures ago.

Why did you try to have a white party with your friends?

Like, like you select some, leave some out so people know that there's a pecking order.

Oh, like I have a watch.

Jimmy out.

Yeah, I'll let Jimmy come.

Because you know, look, we've got the deepest.

Jimmy.

I send out the group chat.

Everyone else responds to it.

And Jimmy's like, what's going on, guys?

Look at this shit, man.

Yeah.

Tommy Lee.

Tommy Lee.

Well, Tom, I think for your first official act as the

overkill maestro, I think you've proven why you got the title.

You know,

no one could have brought better stories.

Thank you.

Thank you.

But

try to mix it up a little bit, not so sexual.

Wait, you don't want

the family showing up.

Just one, not two.

Okay.

I mean, I know that's what that's like good fodder for you guys to jump on, though.

Either you're jumping on me for bringing dick stories, or

I just want to give you guys as much for not supporting your cream.

Yeah, I'll make sure I stick that out stories next time.

I'm trying to bring as much possible for you guys to talk about with it.

All right.

All right.

Very, very well done, though.

I appreciate it.

Nice job.

You've proven why you were the guy for the job.

Thank you.

Thank you.

I feel like a razor is mere inches away from Will Rogers' wrist right now as he hears you slice elevating all over Tom.

Well, I mean, he did a good job.

Yeah.

I mean, he did a good job.

Just because he did a good job doesn't mean somebody didn't do a good job.

You know, they didn't get to do the job at all.

Yeah, but that's okay.

I don't know.

Everybody, everybody's got to do every job.

Anything else then?

Anybody else, any other questions?

Any other topics?

No, let me see what else I had.

I wrote down a couple of things.

Can I come back more than once a year?

I wanted you to come once a month

for this.

Give me at least two days' notice.

It's hard.

I know.

I know.

It's hard.

Q can give us two days' notice.

Try and burn.

All right.

You got some time off.

I got some time not to get off.

You got holidays coming up.

You know, it's hard to squeeze in overkill.

Gotcha.

Big news about the Christmas pod this year, too, people.

I don't know if we want to talk about it now, but major news.

You know, we need

to address that maybe soon.

Maybe after Halloween, we'll address the Christmas pod.

I'm going to save that other story.

Go an hour and 45 minutes.

Oh, tell them, Steve Dave.

Or Zoom.