#609: Sarco

Hey kids, it's weekly Patreon plug time.

This week's release is one of the Patreon bulletproof shows as Tales from Behind the Fake Counter returns.

Now for those who don't know, Fake Counter is a show where three out of four of the original comic book men break down episodes of comic book men.

But the real star of Tales from Behind the Fake Counter is CBM showrunner Brian Nischell.

His unique, insightful revelations and memories have propelled Mr.

Nishell into a listener favorite.

Declan, if you'd be so kind as to play a clip from this week's show.

And let me ask you, do people, you know,

in the Tesdi world, are there a lot of questions revolving around?

Like Mike's absence from the table here and absence from you guys?

Not one.

So there's a lot of questions based on that reaction.

I mean, you just disappeared one day and nobody says anything.

It's like Chuck on Happy Days.

See, I told you, Michelle has the it factor.

So go sign up now to the TSD Patreon and hear more Brian Michelle, as well as more Sunday Jeff, more Jimmy the Hair Guy, more Tom Milishewski, more Tim the Recoster Clerk, more Gidem, more Frank 5, more Officer Troy, more Mike Buck.

Actually, no, wait a second.

We will not be hearing or seeing more of him.

More Ming Chen.

More Gidem Steve Dave.

More.

You know, you get the drift.

It's a galaxy full of all your favorite TSD town stars on the TSD Patreon.

All right.

All right, let's get back to the show.

I ain't no pencil.

I knew we had to talk about Hitler at some point.

And this is part of the comedy show here.

We're still trying to figure it out.

Yeah.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Is that what they say?

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tellum Steve Dave.

I'm here with Walt, of course.

Hello.

And two guys who are not usually on the show.

No BQ this week, Walt.

BQ is on permanent vacation?

I don't know.

I don't know.

He's always out doing something.

He's got a full life this BQ.

He's out there in L.A.

No, he told me he didn't want to go, really.

It's work stuff.

We have,

according to the bills, we have Mang Chen here.

Hello, everybody.

Hello, everybody.

What's up?

Well, you were called Mang Chen at the Buffalo Bills game?

Yeah, I went up and you know how you can get those, like, my first game certificates?

Okay.

I went and got one, and the guy's like, what's your name?

I was like, it's Ming, and he spelled it Meng, M-A-N-G, Meng.

I'm like, all right, close enough.

You didn't want to correct them?

It's Buffalo.

It's, you know,

their grammar's not so good up there.

So you had to go out of your way to get that.

I did.

Certificate.

I did.

Okay.

Yeah, I just let it go.

I thought it was funnier.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hilarious.

If we can stop laughing for a second,

we can introduce our next guest,

Brian Nichelle.

Hello.

All right.

Brian Nichelle is here.

Now, we just got done recording Tales Behind the Fake Counter for Patreon.

And if you don't know what that is, one, shame on you.

And two, it is about...

Just reflecting, right, Walt, you would say, reflecting on.

It's reviewing in chronological order every episode of Comic Book, Man, and we are up to season five.

We pull back the curtain, we tell you things that maybe you don't want to hear.

Maybe you like the magic of reality TV where you think all this shit's real, but it's not.

Turns out it's not.

Yeah, if you want really real, it's four guys who refuse to let go.

of a show that aired 12 years ago.

And you would be right.

That is real.

Yeah, I do not want to let go.

So, boys, you're going to help us out this week.

I have a couple things we can talk about.

If you guys want to talk about something, just bring it up.

We want to see Emerson, Lake, and Palmer, man.

Okay.

Well,

we saw Palmer.

Emerson and Lake are dead.

Oh, they are?

Okay.

They've been dead for quite some time.

Yeah, so it's just Carl Palmer touring by himself.

But he calls himself ELP, though.

What prompted this?

I'm a big ELP fan.

Really?

Huge.

And when I found out that he was going to be in the area and Rop wanted to go, I was like, sign me up.

Because I heard he was doing it hologram style.

Like Lake and Emerson were going to be holograms on it.

It's like Tupac.

Yeah.

That's what I had read somewhere.

And I was just like, I fucking, and you know, and these guys were all about technology back in the day.

So I was like, you know, that shit's going to be fucking wild, what they're doing.

It wasn't that wild.

It was not that wild.

There were no holograms.

Turned out no holograms, a video screen with old footage.

That's not holograms.

No.

I was hoping force ghosts from like Star Wars or something.

Or they did it with Tupac.

Like, they have the technology.

Yeah,

I don't think Palmer has got the bucks to

pull off holograms in 2024.

It was a smaller theater.

Yeah,

I think you're right.

It's not like it's Coachello where they have that kind of bankroll.

And how old is Palmer at this point?

He's got to be closing in on 80 if he's not in his 80s, but he is still got it.

Still rocking.

It was unbelievable.

Walt said at a certain point, he's like, it looks like his arms arms are going to fall off because the way he's drumming is just non-I've never been a big fan of the drum solos at concerts.

Me neither.

But watching this dude play was pretty interesting because you know what you're in for.

I mean, he's a drummer, so you know you're going to get some drumming.

Oh, yeah, you know, you're going to get a couple drum solos.

Right.

But

it was amazing that a guy at his advanced age can still play like that.

Like it's like it's the 70s.

We have a drummer here at the table.

We do.

Well,

if we're talking about about carl palmer as one of the great rock and roll drummers of all time i would uh hardly then mention myself as a drummer but it's true i play

i saw you play i'm the one who i'm the only one here at the table who was

lucky enough to see you uh hit those skins is that what they say yeah i think so and i was blown away

People in the audience are blown away.

I'm sorry, Carl Palmer might be a legend, but as I said earlier to you today,

fucking, he didn't have anybody taking their shirt off.

No, that's true.

And fucking Mr.

Brian Nichelle was fucking hitting them skins so hard, fucking blouses were opening up.

Whoa.

Middle-aged women were taking their tops off.

Whoa.

Oh, yeah.

You know, the drums conjure up, you know, lots of

primal feelings in people.

So, you know, you lay down that backbeat, and, you know, sometimes people go a little wild.

Fucking.

Is that how you account for it?

Because I was shocked.

I wanted to go.

I could have.

I ended up that I couldn't go.

um

but when Walt came back with his report I'm like god damn it I would have rather went to that than Karl Popler

it sounded so fun long and fun I mean yeah we did a three-hour set basically you guys did it the longest set I've ever seen anybody do without taking a break you literally just went from one song to another starting at 930 and stopping at 1230.

Yeah that was not what was supposed to happen.

We were supposed to do like an hour and 15 minutes and then we were going to have a and then we were going to do another an hour and 15 minutes.

But the singer turned around to us and said, We got to keep playing.

If we stop, everyone's going to leave.

So we were like, All right, let's keep going.

I thought he was going to say everybody was going to riot because I thought, like, you know, if you stop, you know, the fucking you guys are going to because I was stunned that you, how close you guys were to the fucking audience.

Yeah.

Like, anybody could have came up and fucking accosted you guys.

That's true.

Was that a concern?

No, I don't think we're on

the list of people who need security to keep wild fans away from three-quarters of the people that you saw were my friends and family.

And if not, and there were four other guys in the band, and I told them, I'm like, guys, if you guys didn't have me as the drummer here, there would have been like seven people.

Everybody else was like a friend of my wife, has so many friends in town.

You know, I lived in that town for like 18 years.

I don't have one friend.

My wife has lots of friends, and they came with their husbands and their kids.

So,

you know, I wasn't concerned that any of the close friends and family that were there were going to murder us.

So what was the venue?

It was a bar?

Well, it's so funny.

How do you explain it?

It's basically the train station where I used to wait for the train to take me to New York.

Okay.

But at some point they turned the train station into a restaurant and built a bar

alongside of it.

So it's all connected.

So during rush hour, It's a train station, but after the morning rush hour, they fill it with tables.

Like you didn't see it set up as a restaurant.

No.

So, it's apparently like I'm kind of a recluse.

I don't go out, but apparently, it's a very popular place in my town.

That's common in TSC town, right?

Are recluses?

I mean, I feel like when I go outside, my eyes are huge.

Yeah, what's going on out here?

I don't really go out.

Yeah.

So,

what is that?

What is that burning circle in the sky?

Hey, Beth!

It burns!

It's hurting me!

What is it?

Turn it off!

Turn it off.

That's the sun, Brian.

Yeah, it'll go out in about 12 hours.

Well, that's what it was.

We thought, and I was excited to play outside.

We thought we were going to be playing outside in the parking lot, but then...

There was like a teenage band out in the parking lot.

Yeah, well, we were supposed to go on after them.

But apparently there were noise codes in my town that forced us inside.

But it was cool, though, because when you was at a train station, they're playing their set.

And all of a sudden, train just goes by behind them.

And it's a cool, like, little

rock and roll kind of atmosphere.

Yeah.

Grandpunk rock.

Like, the train is going swing, whizzing by.

Yeah.

You know, they're pounding the skins.

They're fucking laying down the drumbeat and rocking out.

Better than Grand Funk Railroad, man.

It's a real railroad.

Real railroad.

And at a certain point, there was like

some lady, like, how old, I don't know,

55

on a good day.

Just gets up and starts dancing on the fixtures.

Yeah.

And the dirty looks from everybody in the room.

Like all the women in the room, when she started doing that, every woman in that fucking place just looked at her and wanted to kill her.

Oh, yeah.

But men and women are the problem, all right?

Oh, yeah.

No, she was doing her best stripper moves up there.

She was living her best life, as they say.

She was not with you, not part of the Michelle crew.

No, no, I didn't know who she was.

My wife knew who she was.

I swear to you, when I say that if Lux could kill, she would have died right on the spot.

All the women that were there, I guess, friends and family of the band were just like, What the fuck is this bitch doing?

Yeah,

wow, she was looking at the music.

Yeah, man.

She was feeling it, man.

Hey, man, you just, you know, you gotta let her go with it.

Who am I to interfere with that?

You know, so you guys play covers, I imagine.

Yeah, we did songs that everybody would know, you know, the Stones, Allman Brothers.

You know,

we got a little modern, you know, apparently get them like that we did the middle from

Jimmy World.

Yeah.

You know, Tom Petty songs.

But listen, my heart was warmed when I saw Walter Flanagan and Giddem walking.

I'm telling you, don't even, it was more of an experience for me.

Like, I always used to say, man, I fucking really wish I had been at Woodstock, but now I don't have to wish that anymore.

Oh, yeah.

I saw Brian to show fucking,

captivate a crowd and have someone fucking get up and dance and take their shirt off.

That's fucking better than Woodstock.

No, she's in a bra, I'm assuming.

A sports bra.

A sports bra.

Oh, a sports bra.

Oh, not even a regular bra?

She didn't see Bear or anything there.

No.

No, that didn't matter.

That may have crossed the line.

Yeah, I don't think she would have made it out of there.

All the women in that fucking place, they would have beat the shit out of her.

That would have been fair.

All right, bitch.

It's over.

Yeah.

Yeah, she got out of there.

She got it.

She made it out.

In her little sports bra.

She was having a good time, man.

Everybody was.

That's rock and roll, baby.

Now, how long have you guys been together?

Oh, I mean, we got thrown together.

It was a big festival in the town.

So there was musical stuff going on all day at the parks.

And the one dude, I actually went to high school with the singer.

He was three years older than I am.

And, you know, he knew I played drums.

And he said, hey, I'm putting something together for Oktoberfest, it was called.

And he got.

I think it was called Roctober Fest.

Oh, Roctober Fest, right?

And so he threw us together.

We had, I think, four rehearsals.

We only had one rehearsal with the whole band, which was the night before.

We went into a studio and we played through the set list and try to work out, you know, some of the endings and how we're going to start and, you know, if we're going to do the bridge here or whatever it was.

And, and that's it.

And we just got up there and it was wrought with, you know, fuck-ups and mistakes, but we just played through them.

And again, you know, that's just, it's rock and roll.

Were you guys exhausted?

I mean, three hours is nothing to see.

It's sneaky.

Oh, dude, I was exhausted.

I had ice packs on my wrists when I got home.

Oh, I really did.

No, that's rock and rolling at 53 years old.

That's right.

I haven't played a game in 20 years.

That's rock and roll.

I was like, my hands were gnarled.

It's a lot of wrist action playing those drums.

And I hit them pretty hard.

I noticed at the Carl Palmer concert, I could smell icy hot quite a bit.

Oh, yeah.

There's a lot of icy hot there.

Oh, yeah.

A lot of older people.

Also, John Anderson from Yes.

I thought it was Yes with as many of the

remaining or the current lineup, but I guess what Rupert didn't fail to mention was there's two bands that tour under Yes.

Okay.

One is with the singer and then one is with a bunch of the other guys.

I agree with Walton as much as if you got the singer, you pretty much have the band.

Yeah.

Because those guys sounded sounded exactly like yes.

It did.

You know, and a guy of his advanced age still sounded like could still hit that, that, I don't know if you're familiar with yes and this roundabout thing, but he still sounded like he does or he did in the 70s, which I wonder if it was some help he got maybe, or if not, then it was phenomenal, his voice.

Yeah, that's impressive because I saw Robert Plant at the PNC a few months ago, and, you know, he changed everything to suit.

the voice of a 70-something year old.

It's not that high-pitched Robert Plant, and nor do I expect it to be.

But to hear that he's hitting those roundabout notes still.

I mean, easily.

Wow.

I'm talking like effortlessly.

Wow, his throat is preserved.

Yeah, I mean, we only heard three songs that we were familiar with, though.

The yes,

the songs go on, too, for like 15 minutes.

Yeah,

Rupert was like, this is the best song.

It was 20 minutes long.

Yeah, man.

20 minutes long.

What do they call it?

Is that Prague Rock?

Yes.

Yeah.

I love Prague Rock.

You do?

Yes.

Like King Crimson.

Yeah.

ELP is Emerson Lake and Palmer.

That's the kings of Prague.

Yeah, that was never my thing too much.

I appreciate it because the musicianship is amazing with Prague Rock.

So like Carl Palmer is one of the greatest drummers ever.

But I didn't gravitate toward it too much.

Are you guys going to do more gigs?

I don't think with the lineup that you saw at night.

There's already cuts being made?

Well, we got this guitar player at the last minute who was like a legit guitar player who plays in a bunch of real bands that they're out like every weekend at bars playing.

But I'm still playing with some of the other guys.

You know, I got together with the guy you saw on bass and his son, and we got together.

So I really saw, that was the only time that lineup that I saw may have played together.

So I definitely fucking am.

I lucked out.

Yeah, no, no, you lived through one of the

quintessential moments in rock and roll history.

It's almost like being an Altamont for the Stones.

So thankfully you were there.

You know, get him gossiping apart.

I was there.

You were there, baby.

He didn't get stabbed.

No calls, angels?

No, we had you check your collars at the door.

No colors at this game.

So Walt, again, warmed my heart.

And thank you so much for coming.

It was a great night, great evening, just fun and just, you know, rock and roll at its primal, in my opinion.

It went on forever.

I mean,

my daughter, she's a rock and roller, man.

My wife was like,

Daisy was, she had it toward the end.

She just kept saying, like, are they playing another song?

Are they playing another song?

And we did.

You know, it's weird.

You know, if I, the only thing that I would say is, like, when you, the elite singer, was singing, I could understand

every lyric and everything he was saying.

But when he spoke to the crowd, I couldn't understand a word he said.

It was the weirdest phenomenon of the sound system.

Yeah, it wasn't a great venue for sound.

I don't know what was happening.

Honestly, I could barely hear.

So I watched back some of the video that my friend was shooting, and I'm like, oh, my God.

You're going over the video, too.

You're

Doros.

Instant replay, man.

I love it.

Well, listen, I mean, I'm not lying when I tell you the last gig I played was 2004.

That was 20 years ago.

So my boy Chris came out and he was shooting some video of some of the songs I was watching.

I was like, oh, my God, we're speeding up so much, slowing down.

But in my defense, I really, we had no monitoring system.

I couldn't hear.

It was a loud.

No, I could only hear myself.

I couldn't hear them.

I'm like watching the bass players' fingers, like looking for the one.

And it was a tricky room to be in.

We're a big echoey

train station.

But we did all right.

I was happy with it.

It was very, very fun.

It made me really regret that I went 20 years without picking up a drumstick.

So now you're back into it.

I'm back into it, man.

I'm playing.

I got like three people I'm talking to about playing with.

And, you know, listen, this is a new life for me.

I'm an empty nest.

Please let me design a shirt for your band.

Yeah, I got it.

So some merch.

Is that a name?

I can revisit my 80s work with a band called Demonicy, where I'll have a demon shitting Hitler's head.

Oh, yeah.

What do you think about that?

What do you think?

It depends on the band's name.

It makes sense.

Okay.

That'll sell.

I'll let you know as soon as we get a band name, you're going to be my first call.

All right.

Awesome.

Yeah.

Did you toss any around or no?

No, I mean, that lineup that Walt saw that night was, for some reason, called the Bonsai Beach Band, but I really didn't know that until, you know, I showed up.

So you said a demon wearing sunglasses with a beach ball under one hand, shitting Hitler's head.

Yeah, that would have been appropriate.

Into a sandpail.

Of course, but I don't know if that band even exists anymore.

I don't think that band plays together.

I love it.

I love it.

You could sell so much merch.

Oh, yeah.

No, that's that's huge.

I will let you know because at some point I hope to be in a more permanent band.

And, you know, I hope

that we could play some more gigs because I got the bug, man.

I've been bitten by the bug again.

So,

you know, hopefully this becomes, you know, the next 10, 20 years.

You can't run from who you truly are, Brian Michelle.

No,

it really made me regret

not sticking with it, you know.

Because how much better would you be after the past 20 years?

I mean, yeah,

I'd be a very good drummer.

Karl Palmer.

No Karl Palmer, but

I was a very good and sought-after drummer when I was younger.

You know, I played, I recorded.

But, you know,

it's in you to play it.

I just, I lost some technique, some hand speed, you know what I mean?

I haven't fucking played in 20 years.

So I was surprised at how fast it came back to me just to even get to the level I was at.

And how come they didn't give you a drum solo during the whole set?

Oh, I wouldn't have taken a drum solo.

Oh, come on.

That would have been a fucking killer if all of a sudden, like...

Sports bra would have come off.

Yeah.

It would have been too much for somebody.

I would have to put some of the fucking undergarments on, like, the lower garments may have came off.

Oh, God.

You know, the drum solo.

No, you know how, like, a clean flu master's hands are registered with the police.

Yeah, that's what it would have been like.

I couldn't unleash a drum solo on that woman.

She was all riled up.

Next thing you know, she's writhing on the floor.

It's almost like she's at a black mass.

How was your wife at the end of it?

Was she like, my man?

She was

she was very complimentary.

You know, if we had been able to get home an hour and a half earlier, maybe I could have gotten some, you know, groupy action.

But as Walt said, it was the longest show ever played.

I mean, listen, we're not young.

She just wanted to go to sleep.

I wanted to ice my wrists and she wanted to go beddy time.

So,

you know, if we wrap things up around 10.30, maybe I could have lived out some, but she was very complimentary.

And look, she was at my last gig 20 years ago.

And, you know, we went out in high school.

She used to come down in the basement and see me with my bands in high school.

And she loved it.

So it was like she was very happy.

And she was, you know, I was hard on myself about, oh, I fucked this up and I fucked up this song.

And she was like, oh my God, stop it.

You sounded amazing.

You haven't been playing.

So she was great.

It wasn't any hardcore groupie action going on, which I was, you know, hoping for.

Groupy action is at an all-time low.

We went to Whiskey.

Whiskey Meyer, no groupie action.

We don't know that.

I don't know.

We went on the tour bus.

They said no groupies.

What?

That's true.

Yeah.

Well, they're all married, I think, and have

girlfriends, yeah.

It was a band we went to see.

One of the guys is a listener

down in Asbury at the Stone Pony.

And

we hung out with them for a little bit afterwards.

We went on the tour bus and stuff, but it wasn't like the rock and and roll tour bus that you hear about.

No, huh?

Very sedate, very relaxed.

I still,

even that show, I didn't see anybody take their top off.

Yours the only show it ever happened at.

Yeah, no, we have that kind of power.

I've seen it like on Motley Crew videos, but I didn't think it really did happen in real life.

I don't even think it happens at Steel Panther shows anymore.

Right?

You're laughing, but it was like fucking mind-bending.

I was shocked, I got to tell you.

I understand your dismay.

It was very unexpected

to see a woman.

All she needed was a pole, and it would have been a full-on

burlesque show.

She was having a good time up there.

That must make you happy to see that, right?

Oh, I loved it.

Yeah.

Yeah, it was great.

You inspired the hell yeah, man.

Yeah, I'm telling you, you start laying down those jungle beats, man.

You know, you unleash the demon inside.

Oh, yeah.

That's why they banned music in that town in Footloose.

I thought you meant the town that you were playing in.

No, no, no.

Update, update.

Music is now bad.

Middle-aged women, strips and train station.

Short hills, New Jersey.

Yeah, you got to get handed to Walt.

That's no short drive up to where you're going.

No, I mean, I, from the bottom of my heart.

Oh, I wasn't missing it.

I was not missing it.

And I even told you, like, you don't have to stay for the whole thing.

It's going to be late.

Check out some songs.

Could you imagine if I had left and then I found out

grandma was fucking

getting her freak on?

Yeah.

And I missed it.

I would have fucking, I never would have forgiven myself.

I'm so glad I stayed to the very, very end.

Yeah, no, you did.

Yeah,

much appreciated, my friend.

That happened.

Now,

the next thing that's going to happen at all your gigs, right?

Ooh, that's a high bar to hit, man.

Paul's going to follow you like you're the dead.

Like if you see a sports bra.

I don't know if it's a guarantee.

Okay, well, there's only one way to find out.

We'll keep playing.

Maybe we add some more motley crew to the set.

Oh, yeah.

A little Dr.

Feelgood may get him up there.

Oh,

you can't not strip if you're girls, girls, girls.

Even the guys will start stripping.

Oh, yeah.

So, what was your set list mostly?

Was it 70s rock or 80s?

Yeah, I think it was mostly 70s.

We went into the 80s with the Tom Petty stuff.

Beatles, Allman Brothers, Stones.

Play some Zeppelin?

We didn't play Zeppelin.

The Zeppelin stuff was a little too hard.

We tried some Zeppelin stuff, but it was a little too hard.

Those bass lines.

I mean, the bass player I had was only playing bass for the last four years or so.

We did some who songs or maybe a who song.

Yeah.

I think that's what you pointed out.

That's the one where you just fucking took over.

Yeah, Long Live Rock.

You really, like, you elevated yourself on Long Live Rock.

Long Live Rock.

That's why I was like, they have got to put more songs like that into your set list so that you can fucking just slay it.

Yeah, we had like good times, bad times we were going to do, but those bass parts were really hard.

Like Zeppelin's hard to play for a band, especially a band that's been together for three days.

You know what I mean?

Zeppelin's not right.

You know what I mean?

So understandable.

But I'd been playing Zeppelin songs my whole life.

So like, you know, we had good times, bad times.

We had Misty Mountain Hop at some point, but they were just a lot for a band that's like thrown together.

Right.

So,

yeah, man, it was a lot of shit.

What are you going to do if somebody comes to you and they're like, we want you, but not the rest of the band?

I mean, we're not a band.

We're not a band at all.

So one performance, that's it.

Yeah, I'd like to get in a steady gig where I'd love, look, my ideal thing would be like, okay, once a month, I'd love to play out at a bar or something.

That would be fun.

Yeah.

That's pretty good.

That's a reasonable.

No, we didn't get paid.

Oh.

Didn't get paid.

And you probably had to load your own shit in and out.

It's true.

No roadies.

No roadies.

But you guys should have got paid, though, because the amount of people you brought into there to buy drinks and everything.

Yeah.

They should have thrown something your way.

Because you definitely filled that room.

Yeah, I think it was just part of this whole Rocktoberfest deal.

Oh, okay.

You know, where it was just

celebration of music over town.

All right.

Right.

All right.

All right.

So, you know, we beat that horse for it.

It's almost longer than my set talking about this.

Yeah, that was curious.

They just took his shirt off.

Yeah, yeah.

I'm feeling it, man.

I'm feeling it.

I love it.

I love it.

Where are you going this weekend, Walt?

I know I like to live vicariously through your travels.

Oh, I'm just going up to Pennsylvania and to spend

the birthday with not my birthday, but my wife's birthday with our daughter who lives in Pennsylvania.

And then Alicia's coming up, too.

Oh, okay.

So it's a whole family thing.

Yeah, just going out here out in Pennsylvania.

Well, because I thought it might have been like a romantic polka-not getaway or something.

No.

Heart-shaped revolving bed.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Martini Glass.

They closed that place down.

Mount Gary Lodge.

Yeah, they closed it not too long ago.

Mount Gary Lodge.

I think it's closed down.

Within the past year or so.

Yeah.

I think they closed it down.

Yeah,

they weren't getting the same turn, like, you know, same amount of people.

And because they stopped running those commercials, man.

Those commercials really lurge in with the mirrors on the ceiling, the revolving bed, the heart-shaped jacuzzis.

Yeah, you're like, this place is built for me.

It's like Austin Powers' bedroom.

I remember seeing those commercials when I was like seven years old, going, man, I can't wait to grow up and take someone to that hotel room.

I don't know what I'm going to be doing in there, but it looks sexy.

Is it just the proximity that the Poconos seem like the most romantic place in the area to go?

Yeah.

Or even when you're younger.

Yeah.

It's like, if you're going to, like, you went to the Poconos a lot when you were younger too, right?

Why, though?

It's in the mountains, man.

Is that it?

Yeah.

There's really not that much there that isn't here.

Is it just the mountains?

I think you're in the mountains and it's drive.

There's elevation.

Is there some water, right?

Is there a river right there?

Yeah, a little river.

You get out of civilization, you know?

Running away like a Banshee.

Yeah.

Check it out, bro.

I mean, I've been to the Poconos lots of times.

Did you find it sexy?

Yeah.

I just didn't know why, though.

I can't figure out why everybody from this area goes to the Poconos to have a romantic weekend.

Mink thinks it's the elevation.

You get the scenery.

The air gets scenery.

Scenery.

Get back to your roots, you know, your natural self.

You don't use deodorant up there, you don't shave your underarms if you're

a woman.

You get untame and wild.

Is that oh, really?

So it's more about the wilderness now.

I think so.

All right.

Does that make sense?

No.

Well, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

Let me see.

Walt, you're going to be blown away by this

Kmart.

Yeah, I saw this.

To close its last remaining store in the contiguous U.S., here's where it is.

Now, it's the last big box store, but it's not the last Kmart.

Kmart will shutter its location in Bridgehampton Commons Mall in Bridgehampton, New York on October 20th.

It's the retailer's only remaining full-size

store in the U.S.

And it's confirmed that Kmart is leaving the shopping center.

Now, this is just another

little ding in Kmart.

Now, is the one in Jersey still open?

No, that's gone.

That's gone too.

Yeah.

And then there's one in like Hawaii or something.

I thought it was Puerto Rico.

Puerto Rico, is it?

Or is that Sears?

I can't remember now.

Yeah, I mean, it's, it's, on one hand, it's sad, but on the other hand, it's Miami, Florida.

It's just

reality is that in 2024, there's just no need for a store of Kmarts.

Who needs Kmart?

But it's just, it's just a Walmart, really.

That's the thing.

Their sales are sagging among rising competition from players players such as Costco and Walmart, along with the advent of e-commerce.

That's really what first and foremost.

Yeah, that's really the culprit.

Now, where does this money go?

Like, an $11 billion merger in 2005 with another fading retail brand, Sears,

led by hedge fund manager Eddie Lampert, failed to stanch the bleeding.

Now,

you put $11 billion into a merger, and then both places go bankrupt.

Like, where does that money go?

The fuck's that money?

CEOs?

Did they all just take it?

Yeah, did they all just take it of bonuses and shit?

I would imagine.

Or is it merchandise that's purchased that does never get sold?

Oh, maybe they have to turn around and then try to sell it to somebody else.

Yeah, real estate, property,

salaries.

Yeah.

You need to go quick.

Here you go.

Bed Bath and Beyond, Rite 8, CVS Health and Foot Locker shut a total of 4,600 stores in 2023, up 80% from the previous year.

Now,

will we see a time in our lives where people are just not going to the store at all?

No.

No?

We'll always see, yeah, there's always going to be a need for a store of some sort.

Because the mall near us closed.

And that's almost, I mean, not shocking anymore because you saw the downward trend, but it is like at one point, if you'd have been like, someday the Mammoth Mall will close because not enough people go to it, you'd be like, get the fuck out of here.

Yeah.

I still think, though, that there will always be a need for a Target or a Walmart.

There'll always be, it may not be a Target or a Walmart.

Like, they're going to, both of those stores will have the same fate as a Kmart.

Somebody else will take their place.

I don't know when it'll be.

It may not be in our lifetime, but nothing lasts forever.

Nothing stays golden.

Nothing golden.

We learned that on Patreon just earlier.

Yeah, thanks, Ponyboy Counter.

Thanks, Pony Boy.

Right?

I mean,

Walmart will have its final day just like Kmart did.

Target will have its final day, just like Sears did.

It's inevitable.

But something will fill that vacuum, though.

I don't know what, though.

A different kind of

department store.

I hope so.

I think we're seeing a lot of things that owned

the second half of the 20th century are now becoming obsolete.

I think that by the mid-21st century,

lots of the stuff that we take for granted as just part of civilization and society will just be remnants of the past.

Examples?

Stores,

you know, even the way we travel cars that stay on the road,

laptops,

things that we just use, the tools we use

in society.

You think laptops will disappear?

Yeah.

Because, you know, I think there'll be things, and listen, and I'm no Ray Bradbury, I don't know, but I just think like, you know,

we sit down, we use our fingers to type at these keyboards to,

you know, look online, to type out a

treatment or something.

And then maybe, you know, mid-21st century, we're just sitting there, you know, thinking.

We're shoving a USB into our brain, and those thoughts are coming out there, and then that's transferred somewhere.

And cars that stay on the road, what does that mean?

Yeah, maybe they're all flying like the Jetsons.

People can't even navigate their cars on the road like they would fly in a row.

No, I think it's like what was that movie with Tom Cruise, The Minority Report, right?

Yeah.

Maybe it looks like that.

I think, I don't know what it is because I'm not that, you know, I'm not smart enough to know.

I'm no visionary, but I just think that technology is moving so fast that by the mid-21st century, the world is sort of unrecognizable to dinosaurs like us.

And is there

Is there opportunity then for like is there economic opportunity for people in that world, in that existence, though?

Like there was

as more and more technology advances, it seems like there's less and less

for people to like occupations to, you know, like they're disappearing as the technology advances.

Well, I think the occupations just change radically, right?

Like if you look at a big factory from

the mid twentieth century, so many of those jobs are just have been replaced by a computer or

robot or whatever.

And that trend will continue.

So you'll need less and less people, I think, to operate those systems.

And eventually, maybe no people or one person.

I I again, I don't know what bleak outlook is.

Well, it is

for people and how they will earn an income, though.

Well, I think but I think it's bleak for people like us who grew up as products of the 20th century, but I think people who are born now

are just going to be folded into whatever that world is.

But will they be able to carve out an existence like our parents did and we were

able to?

Or that existence will be unrecognizable?

I think it'll be unrecognizable.

I think maybe even the idea of

earning money,

doing a job and earning money may seem archaic to people of the future.

I mean, I think people of now, nobody wants to work, right?

Isn't that

the biggest problem?

Walt tried to get a burger over at IHOP recently.

One waitress for all these people.

She couldn't get it.

Wow.

Yeah.

I mean,

I just know that, you know, even in my TV business that I'm in, I'm starting to feel like a bit of a dinosaur just because there's a whole, you know, a whole revolution that exists, you know, online, on YouTube, you know, whatever, TikTok that's different than the model I grew up on, which was we've got these networks that own the whole world of entertainment, and we have companies that produce stuff for those networks.

And those companies hire me and my friends, and we make stuff like comic book men, and it goes on television.

And those were the gatekeepers we needed to keep us employed.

And they, you know,

they sprinkled some of their proceeds around to, you know, the hardworking bees like me and my friends to get those jobs done and put them on.

But that whole thing has kind of shifted.

So there is.

Is there any part of you that's like, well, maybe I should start trying to find out, like, make viral videos to put on YouTube?

Playing drums.

Yeah, I see how it's done, but

I'm hoping I can

last the next 15 to 20 years, you know, of taking the

dying industry I'm in and still earning a living that way.

Yeah, you're talking about networks, but I mean, they've just been replaced by streaming services, right?

It's like, it's kind of the same thing almost.

Yeah, there's a whole bunch of jobs already in my business that are being replaced by AI.

So what's going to happen in the next few years is like guys like me will hopefully still be able to work because what I do is i'm like the head of a sort of creative vision right aka like okay we're going to do a show like comic book man we need someone to run it but a lot of the jobs i used to give people especially in post-production uh are going away they're figuring out how to make ai programs that could do those jobs a lot of those entry-level jobs are just going away And it sucks because those entry-level jobs, like let's say you're an associate story producer or an assistant editor, those are tomorrow's showrunners those are tomorrow's you know senior editors but

it's almost like the path forward is being stymied in a way because technology is already replacing those jobs we did a we did a series recently for discovery and they said okay we're going to send it to focus group we'll get back to you we're like when's the focus group we'll have the tape ready for you and they're like well we can just do whatever we want and normally you would have to have advance notice and you book people for the focus group.

They're like, no, no, no, we're doing it AI.

So the last series I did for Discovery did not have a human focus group.

It had an AI focus group.

So they ran the episode through a program and

extrapolated reactions from

a non-living thing.

A non-human.

And that's wild.

It didn't work well.

And it was, it's

kind of new because what was funny was it was like, so you guys had the focus group go with the the robots or whatever it was, right?

And it was like, eh.

Well, they, and they really had

the program had the opposite opinion of most of us and the execs at the network.

And so they decided to like put a just very little weight on the actual AI focus test, where in the past, if it was humans, it was at least close to what you thought it would be.

This focus group was way off.

And like the characters that we were diminishing, they were like, no, that should be, that's your strongest character.

And everyone was like, no, we don't think the robots didn't get it right at this point.

So, you know,

needs work.

Yeah, man, but that's where it's going.

And even that was like, okay, there's like 25 people who would have come in, got paid 100 bucks, gotten a pizza lunch that aren't doing that anymore.

You know what I mean?

Right.

And a lot of these jobs are already

being replaced by AI.

And

it's like in the infancy of it, but it'll move fast.

So, what I'm hoping is that there will be less and less people on a show.

There will be, but I'm hoping that, you know, the person who can oversee, you know, the automatons is still needed

to keep them in line.

And so,

you know,

things are changing.

And I look at, you guys know me, I'm kind of a Luddite.

I don't follow technology.

I don't know too much about it.

And I'm certainly not the one who's going to predict the future.

But just me as a layman looking at it, I just think like in 50 years,

the world is a little unrecognizable to people

who grew up steeped in 20th century

thought.

So much so that I can't even imagine what it's going to be.

But I know I'm not going to like it.

Or be around in 50 years.

Or not be around, thank God.

You know what's going to be around, though?

Will always be around.

Do tell.

Forever and ever.

Prize picks.

Oh, yeah.

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What's your Super Bowl pick, Ming?

Super boy.

Oh.

Boy, I just got back from the Bills game.

They're looking really good.

So you're picking the Bills?

I'll pick the Bills.

I'll pick the Bills and win it all.

Why don't you go put some money on PrizePicks?

Oh, yeah.

How do I sign up?

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And then we have something else, which is very sexy, Brian Nichelle.

Ooh, what do you think?

Very sexy advertiser.

I like to turn down the lights for this one.

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It's almost like a supplement.

Right, right.

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So don't anybody hold it.

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You pop a blue chew.

How long does it take from the time you take it until you're rock hard and ready for action?

I think it's about a half hour, I've read.

It doesn't say here, but I'm pretty sure.

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I mean,

talking about like, you know, years ago, I feel like Brian could have had

a nice career in radio.

Oh, you think so?

I mean, that was impressive watching you do that read.

Oh, thank you.

Yeah.

All right.

Hopefully somebody buys it.

Yeah.

You missed your calling.

I mean, I don't need the blue chew after listening to him.

No, I'm laying down that blue chew read.

You're both rock hard over here, man.

Don't say that.

No, say that you need blue chew.

Oh, yeah, well.

Well, I would be rock hard if I had a blue chew.

That's right.

Is there someone under the couch behind me here that I can run for under the cushions?

There is a segment that we used to do years and years ago called Suicide of the Week.

Bringing it back for this week.

Really?

Yeah.

First time in years now.

I'm not familiar with this segment.

Arrests made after suicide pod used for the first time by a U.S.

woman.

An American woman became the first person to take her own life in the new suicide pod.

Hey, in Switzerland, Walt.

Didn't we just talk about Switzerland?

Oh, no, that was a fake counter.

That was a fake counter.

Okay.

Sweden, Sweden, but

what's the difference?

It was given a chilling command by the Morbin machine before she took her last breaths.

The machine says, if you want to die, press this button.

The machine allegedly asked a 64-year-old woman who's not yet been publicly named to press that button that would euthanize her.

Then the 3D printed chamber, it's a a 3D printed chamber called Sarco, short for sarcophagus, floods its chamber with nitrogen gas, causing the user's oxygen levels to plummet to deadly levels, and it usually knocks them out

and then death occurring within 10 minutes.

And the pod comes with an emergency exit

button if you change your mind.

Yeah, if you change your mind.

Has not been approved for use in America.

But it has been in Switzerland?

It has been in Switzerland.

Yeah, their laws are a little looser over there.

It says Switzerland is one of the few countries where foreigners can travel to legally on their lives through assisted suicide, which must not involve a doctor, but can include outside help.

The law states that the person must take their life without external assistance from a doctor, and those who help them to die do so not for a self-serving motive, like you're going to get some of their insurance or some shit like that.

So is Sarco a free service?

I don't think so.

I think you have to do that.

Somebody's then like

somebody's profiting, though.

Somebody's making some money.

I did, there was a second follow-up article.

Wait, so can you use this if you're just like miserable or do you have to have a legitimate like terminal cancer, terminal disease, dementia,

Parkinson's, whatever it be like?

Yeah, I think it has to be some sort of like real

life

like the quality of your life is so low now,

you know, regardless of what it is, you know.

I mean, I guess, I think depression.

There was a lady, I was reading about a lady who had crippling depression.

Did she use Sarco?

No, she was talking about doing it, though.

Like, she hasn't done it yet.

I just find it weird that they would playfully name something

and give it a name that

googly eyes and stuff.

Yeah, it's the future, God.

The future we're looking at is a grim future.

The way you were just talking about it would have made it death.

But

there could be ulterior motives, according to this second article that that I saw.

An American woman who was meant to be the first person to use it

accused, backed out and accused the company of behind it being heartless and exploiting her for publicity and trying to get her life savings.

Her allegations surfaced after Swiss police on Tuesday arrested four people when the news broke that the Sarco capsule had been used for the first time.

So I guess it's not legal if they just got...

arrested for it.

She was this lady who was supposed to be, she was a wheelchair-bound Alabama native, but she claimed she was being taken advantage of by last resort and two of

its executives.

It's called them deeply heartless people.

She suffered from kidney disease and a debilitating nervous system illness called polyneuropathy.

She said she cashed in her $40,000 life savings to travel to Switzerland in May to end her life with the help of the organization.

But once she arrived, she was inundated by a media circus and was allegedly made to conduct embarrassing interviews as publicity for the organization ahead of her scheduled suicide date.

You can't have, I guess, you can't have

some sort of

like it can't work out for you financially, right?

If you're doing the suicide pod, you can't like make a ton of money off it without looking bad.

I would think so.

I mean,

this is grim, man.

Yeah, I mean, it looks like it's all for profit, suicide for profit.

It really does, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's commercialized, yeah.

Yeah, she also accused the two executives of pressuring her to pay for some of their personal expenses including groceries and restaurant bills during the media tour and she said that at one point one of them said you're gonna die anyway you don't need your money anymore and then she backed out you know what i think they would in a just world sarko would turn spit her out

and then gobble up yeah those two assholes that's how you'd like to see that movie end at a drive-in movie theater yeah oh yeah sarco the revenge

the revenger sarco sarko gets a conscience yeah

he becomes self-aware.

One of the executives was among four people taken into custody on Tuesday over the other woman's, American woman's assisted suicide.

What would the.

I just question,

right?

It goes right back to my first point.

I just question

the person who creates this device and then playfully names it Sarko.

That to me says everything about that fucking human being.

How seriously they're taking people's deaths.

Yes.

Look, check out my Sarco, short for sarcophagus.

It's

that right there is a statement in itself.

Yeah, I don't.

You want to see the pod?

It looks pretty streamlined.

It looks kind of cool, like a race car almost.

Dude, it looks like a giant shoe.

It does look like a shoe.

Yeah, like a clog.

A Dutch clog.

So you go in there, and I guess they put it out in the wilderness so it's like you're not dying and like with fluorescent lights above you and all shitty and stuff.

It's peaceful, you're in nature, right?

Like Mount Airy Lodge, like Mount Airy Lodge on the Poconos.

So, this is the segment.

This is you're bringing the segment back.

The suicide segment's coming back.

We're testing out the waters.

Just dipping our toe in.

It's going to become a weekly thing.

Yeah, the fans have been clamoring to get this.

Last time you did this.

Oh, God, 2010.

Yeah, it was

47 or something.

It was like in a very like the infancy stages of TSD.

I mean, you're a curator.

Look that up.

And this is part of the comedy show here.

We're still trying to figure it out.

Yeah.

Okay.

Hey, were you happy to see all those explosive pagers?

You must have been, right?

Oh, I don't delve into the world of international politics.

Guys, no.

He's trying to work immediately.

I talk about rock and roll and,

you know,

sports bras coming off.

That's, you know.

it's not safe these days anywhere either.

You never know.

What?

Sports bras coming off?

Talking about ladies and their sports bras coming off.

Oh, in the most, you know, in the most

respectful way.

I told you, man.

What's up with the Maverick?

Quickly, step in.

What's going on with the Maverick?

Change the subject.

What's up with Maverick lately?

Haven't seen you in a while.

I've been traveling.

I had a couple weeks off.

I'm gearing up for

weeks off from what?

From Cons.

Oh, okay.

Yeah,

I had two movies open up with one week.

Two, I know you were in the 430 movie.

Two movies that you're in?

Yeah.

What are these movies you're in?

The first one was Kevin says 430 movie.

Oh, yeah.

I played an angry Chinese restaurant owner, which was fun.

Which you saw, right?

You went and saw it.

You saw the whole movie?

Yeah, very sweet.

Yeah.

Very

unexpected.

You know, there's no crazy, like, vulgar,

you know, like sucking 37 dicks.

It's just a very sweet love letter.

There's no Walrus.

Yeah, very sweet love letter to

the days we yearn for.

And I think that you do as well, Brian,

telling from how you're getting so worked up about those cars that don't stay on the road anymore.

Yeah.

You know, this is a time when the cars did stay on the road.

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

I like those times.

Yeah, but it was sweet.

It was nice.

What was the other movie you were in?

About

a couple of years ago, I was at Kevin's Film Festival.

Met a filmmaker who I befriended.

And as we're drinking that night, he's like, hey, man, I'm working in a movie.

I have a one-day role as an Asian mob boss.

Oh, yeah.

We're shooting in Albuquerque in February.

Would you be interested?

And, yeah, I jumped at that.

I was like, hell yeah, man.

He said, you got out to Albuquerque on your own dime for this?

No, no, they flew me out.

Oh,

I thought this was a real small.

No, I mean, it's independent, but they had a budget.

And, yeah, yeah, four months.

Yeah,

the festival was in October, four months later.

And you got to be a fucking good actor to pull off being an Asian mob boss

with your stature.

You know what I'm saying?

I'm not saying it a bad way.

I'm just saying, because you're kind of a short guy.

Guys, I'm the boss.

We call ourselves the lollipop guild.

I mean, because you think of an imposing mob figure, you think Tony Soprano.

You don't think Ming Chen.

Sure.

So how did you do it?

What did you do to bring it to this role?

I had a pretty cool outfit.

I had a few lions.

It looks like he looked in Wild West City.

He had a mustache.

I had a hat and a fur coat and a sunglasses.

You know, it was a comedic role.

Oh, it's comedy.

Yeah, it's comedy.

Okay, so it's

okay.

It's like whacking people.

I thought it was a lot of fun.

I thought it was just a drama.

So I was like that.

The comedy, it's a little bit more easy to accept somebody, you know, in a,

you know, somebody that doesn't look like Tony Soprano.

When you think mob boss, you think fucking, you know, Ruthless.

Yes.

Yeah, Yakuza.

Yeah.

Like somebody you would be afraid of if you saw him.

Yeah, you would just cross.

I think you would see me and start laughing.

Did you have a lot of lines?

It was a, you know, not a ton, but

it was more than I usually have.

Yeah.

It's a meaty role?

I feel it was pretty meaty.

How many screens did it open on?

It

just played at the New York Latino Film Festival.

The filmmaker's Latino.

So it's seeking

a buyer now.

But it's a good movie.

It's called The Unexpecteds.

And yeah, I hope everybody gets to see it soon.

Are you in the guild?

I am now.

Yeah.

I had to join the union because of the 430 movie.

Really?

Yes.

So now you got to pay the union dues in the middle.

I had to pay dues.

I had to pay the joining fee, which was not cheap.

Joining fee is a lot.

It's a lot.

Yeah.

Hopefully they don't go on strike.

The guild fucks me over constantly.

Well, first of all, they thought you were dead.

Right.

And then it happened again.

They thought you were dead again?

Because

I got some sort of statement that I got all this money.

Not a lot of money.

No, but a good chunk.

And I had to contact the guild again and be like, you know, I didn't get any money.

I haven't gotten a check in years.

And they're like, well, and they did some research.

They're like, yeah, we have a couple.

We have some money here for you, but it says here that, yeah, you were deceased.

And I was like, this is the second time this happened.

I'm fucking dodging bullets that I don't even know about.

Cheating death.

Yeah.

So they had to release the money again.

They said the same thing to me, but they said you moved.

It wasn't about me dying.

Really, do you think that they're

doing everything they can to get these people their money?

I think they can make sure they get like Al Pacino gets his fucking check.

They're losing that shit.

Yeah, but like us.

They know he's alive.

Yeah.

Throw out a couple of huwas, Wolf.

Get your check.

Give me all you got.

Give me all you got.

That's it.

Ming's got the right idea.

But I do think it's a little fishy that they keep fucking.

Yeah, they keep trying to stop sending me my money that I'm owed.

What do you think's happened?

Do you think there were other guys named Walt Flanagan that are dying?

I don't know what's going on.

It's a real mystery, though, that this is two times this has happened now.

Someone's out to get you.

Somebody is, yeah, somebody in Hollywood does not want like me.

You're on a list.

Blacklist.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're black list.

That's why you haven't acted in a while.

I don't think that's the reason.

I have in my hand a list of comedy communist sympathizers.

Walt Flanagan is on that list.

Do you call yourselves?

Are you now officially changed your name to Ming the Maverick Chen?

I'm not listed in the SAG as Ming the Maverick Chen.

Since Ming Chen.

Do you add it to your bio, though, actor?

I'm not an actor.

I am not.

You keep acting.

I know, I am not an actor.

I'll tell you what.

You are really fucking good in that in the.

Thank you.

Yeah, I thought you texted me.

I was like, wow, man, you really, you know, listen, Walt Flanagan does not throw compliments around at all.

Very lightly.

That's right.

But he texts me.

He's like, I thought you were really good.

I thought you said

I killed him.

I'm going to see it now.

You look sweaty.

Yeah.

You know, like where you should be because you're in a hot kitchen.

So you look great and the way you delivered your lines, perfect.

Thank you.

Thank you.

That is high praise.

I think you're thinking of Ken Jong.

Oh, yeah.

You were Mike the Manager, Mike?

I wish that man, Mike.

No.

When you jumped out of that truck, making.

Yeah, you were great, which I would do and and he beat me to it, though, man.

Yeah, right?

Yeah, hey, I wanted to ask you a question: Manager Mike in the 430 movie.

Yes, was that named after Mike?

Mike Sasick?

Yeah, no, I don't, I don't.

I mean, it makes sense, right?

But didn't he call himself Manager Mike?

He did at one point, so yeah, I

nothing that was like some sort of nod to Mike?

I

mean, everything led me to believe it because Manager Mike in the movie was an asshole.

Right.

Right.

All right.

Sure.

I mean,

what

things dodging that like it's a pager question.

But it's like, go take the bait, Ming.

Go take the bait.

You pay homage to perhaps Mike Sapsik, but you don't put him in the movie as well, even in a bit.

I don't know.

I could not figure it out because it was such a unique name for a guy.

Mike?

Well,

he's Asian Mike.

I mean,

I don't know.

I just thought maybe it was a

little like, you know, the homage.

Yeah, homage to him.

To Mike.

I mean, to the real manager, Mike.

Could have come manager Zap could have, like, yeah.

I don't know.

I would have.

It's one of the questions I would have asked.

If I feel like

I will.

But you know what?

I will ask him when I see him in three weeks at Cronicon, Kev, which is what I'm scaring him for, yeah.

If manager Mike was inspired by the real manager Mike.

I will.

I'll ask him him that at his Q ⁇ A.

I'll get up to the mic and microphone.

And let me ask you this.

Were there any characters in the movies that were representative of a young Bry or Wald?

This was an era where

Mike Bellicose and Ernie O'Donnell were in Kevin's life.

Yeah, two high school friends before they met.

Yeah,

I know Ernie, yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah, you got to see it.

It was good.

Yep, good movie.

Really good movie.

All right.

I will definitely see it.

Certainly now that I know Ming Chan's one of the stars.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was fun.

No, Kevin just texted me about a year ago.

He was like, hey,

how's your Chinese?

I was like, it's not great.

But

I told him I knew enough Chinese to order drinks at a bar, find the bathroom, and flirt with Asian women.

And he was like, all right, good enough for my purposes.

Very cryptic text, though.

And then a couple weeks later, he revealed that he had a part for me in his movie.

But

the line is in Chinese, though.

Nice.

And yeah, I play Angry Chinese restaurant owner that yells at the female lead to stop goofing off in Chinese.

I was really hoping that you were going to reappear later in the movie.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I have my fingers crossed.

Yeah, well, now I got that sweet sag, you know, union money.

You got that money yet?

Yeah, I got that money.

You got paid?

Yeah.

There you go.

It's a pretty sweet paycheck for

a one-day roll.

Yeah.

It's not the first time you've been cast as a crazy store owner.

No, no.

back in 1997, Brian, Michelle, I was cast, oddly enough, or maybe not so oddly, as an angry comic book shop owner in a movie called Vulgar, written and directed by Brian Johnson.

Oh, yes.

I saw, man, I haven't seen Vulgar since I started shooting the show with the stash.

I saw Vulgar.

Probably me neither.

Yeah.

I haven't seen it in some time.

Yeah, I'll have to watch it again.

Yeah, it's a good media role as well, which kind of came true to life later on.

How so?

Oh, I even got the comic when we're working a comic book job.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

All right.

I thought you were talking about clowns, clown killing.

That came to be.

I was like, I haven't seen that news story.

Yeah.

No.

If there's one thing I know about Mavericks, Walt.

Yeah.

They love Raycon.

Oh, yeah.

That was a smooth segue, baby.

You may have heard us talk about Raycon's everyday earbuds before and thought, hey, the same audio quality I expect from the big guys, but at half the price sounds pretty good.

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They're available in a variety of vibrant new colors.

to complement any and all skin tones.

I don't care what color you are.

That's how diverse Raycon is, Nichelle.

They're for everyone.

They're for everyone.

Yes.

They have optimized gel tips for

fit.

Go ahead.

I'm going to give them the skin tone that they cannot match.

I'm sorry.

I got

Sunday Jeff.

Sure.

I have like ivory white.

But it's not white, white.

Sunday Jeff white.

That's what they call it.

Yeah.

Is that on the Crayola box now?

They have three

customizable sound styles in awareness mode, new active noise cancellation, new quick charge function, new multi-point connectivity, new weatherproof and or sweat resistant.

I use them at night to listen.

I listen to anything that keeps the ringing out of my ears.

Yeah, you can sleep comfortably with them.

I love that's your selling point.

Yes.

Did you pick up on sweat resistance?

How often do your earlobes sweat?

Well, if you're working out.

Yeah.

Your earlobes will sweat?

Fully inside your ears.

Really?

Inside your ears sweat?

I never took notice of it, but I would guess they do.

I don't think there's any sweat sweat ducts in there.

I mean, I think there's sweating little pores throughout all your skins, huh?

If you have a Raycon your ear, yeah, that it forms a seal.

It's going to sweat.

Yeah.

Forms a seal.

Yeah.

With your ear, right?

So you can hear.

Yeah.

It's

active noise cancellation.

Active new.

Active noise canceling.

And what you're saying, Brian, is when you're sleeping in them, you don't feel them annoying you.

Is that true?

I don't feel them there.

Really?

Yeah.

Huh.

I like it.

You know, this guy is very sensitive.

Yeah, yeah, for sure.

Yeah.

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That's buyraycon.com slash T-E-S-D.

I mean, he is like an old school pitch man.

I know.

Go on now.

I mean, Casey Kasem's got nothing on Brian Johnson.

Look at him talking into that can, man.

Who's that dude that was doing the Vegematic?

The Vegematic member?

Oh,

the guy who died and the slap chop guy?

Ron Popil?

Is he still there?

Or the other guy?

God, I can't remember his name.

He's got the, yeah.

Yeah.

Not Ron Popilo.

Who is this?

Steve Goodman?

No.

Vegematic Pitch Man.

Let's see.

I know what you're talking about.

I can't remember.

No, it is Ron Popil.

Okay.

Ron Popil hawked the Vegematic and made the world.

Then it cuts off, so I can't see it.

Yeah, I didn't think it was Ron Popil.

I thought it was that other guy, the Slapchop.

Yeah, the Slap Chop guy.

I think Brian has sold more Raycon

than Ron Popil's moved to Vegematics.

Is that right?

Has Raycon seen an uptick since Johnson's been doing it?

I mean, yeah, they

signed for, I think it was the longest-term contract with, like, for ads, a 10-year ad commitment with us wow is that right yeah you're like dak prescott over here i knew i was witnessing magic term contract guaranteed money you got guaranteed well it's not up front because there are stipulations like we can't we can fuck it up if we if we say the wrong thing you know that that'd be they'd be crazy to give us guaranteed money

that's happened before yeah hello burrow yeah

well if i had a product to hawk i would hire Brian Johnson to sell it.

I mean, I am amazed at these reads right now.

Yeah.

You got conselled, man.

Yeah.

No steak nights for this guy, man.

No.

He's a winning Cadillac.

Yeah, Slap Chop

was Vince Offer.

Yeah, Vince.

Oh, yeah, he was also Sham Wow.

Yeah, but he's no longer with us, right?

I don't know.

I know he was, he looked, I think he was a crackhead in real life.

You're very close to it.

Well, because he got arrested in 2009 with a 26-year-old prostitute after a physical altercation, the police reported that the women had bitten onto Offer's tongue and refused to let go.

At which point, Offer Offer punched her in the face and left her with lacerations and fractures.

They later released photos of the bloody Offer in a hotel room and the battered woman, and they declined to press formal charges against either person.

Okay, so I was wrong.

He had nothing to do with crack.

No, that was the Mr.

Pillow guy was a former crackhead.

Oh, yes.

What was that guy's name?

Yeah, the Pillow, right?

That's what it's called.

Those pillows.

Yeah, my pillow.

My pillow.

That guy, you know, very publicly declares he was a crackhead and a serious drug addict and then found God, Jesus, and made saves.

Mike Lindell.

Lindell, yeah.

Is that who you're thinking of?

No, I think a lot of pitch men actually go crazy.

So, yeah, so

a lot of crack in the pitch man.

Flirting with a very dangerous game, right?

Right, right.

That's why I don't read the ads.

Ride the line, Brian.

Ride the line.

I'm a sacrifice.

Oh, wait a second.

This is just from two days ago.

Mike Lindell has hit back against claims that his new My Pillow Price is inadvertently linked to neo-Nazi problems.

I knew knew we had to talk about Hitler at some point.

Okay, so My Pillow posted an advertisement that marked the pillows down from its sale price $29.99 to an even lower price of $14.88.

Oh, 88.

The number 88 is used for shorthand for Heil Hitler as an H, the eight letters of the eighth, the eighth letter of the alphabet.

The number 14 refers to the 14-word slogan by David Lane, a member of the white supremacist group, The Order.

Wow.

Lane, who died in prison after serving 190 years for racketeering and violation of civil rights, said people are doing Nazi algebra to fucking.

Yeah, really.

Yeah.

Well, listen, as a businessman, Walt, just it's good for you to know not to price anything at 1488.

We have a Black Friday promotion coming up that I was going to price everything at 1488.

Now you know.

Thank God.

You dodge no bullet baby.

Oh, my God.

Hile, these prices.

Lindell told the post that 88 cents price point is commonly used by such companies as Walmart.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Well, everyone's doing 99.

Right.

Right.

Let's do 88.

He may want to take that down to 77.

He's saying that attacks on his price point were retribution for his election claims.

The whole thing is another attack on Mike Lindell and my pillow because I want to go to paper ballots hand-counted in our country.

Just sell pillows, bro.

Yeah, stop talking.

Crack and make all that money.

He expanded.

He's selling slippers, apparently.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Stick to that.

All made in the USA, though, right?

I think so.

What's going on here?

She's got nothing on Pride Johnson.

What's she selling?

Listen to that.

Well, anyway, I just bought a new bed, by the way.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, we went Temper-Pedic.

What does that mean?

It's the foam

body-conforming foam bed.

Yes.

And we spent about two hours at the mall in the Tempur-Pedic store hopping from bed to bed,

snuggling, getting cozy.

Spooning.

We did a little spooning.

Yeah.

Really?

Yeah.

And you picked a good one?

Well, the jury's out because we, I somehow convinced my wife to pick the absolute firmest model.

That they sell.

Okay.

The salesman was trying to convince me to buy the one under the absolute firmest, like sort of like the medium firm.

But I was stuck between the firm

and medium firm.

I ain't no pinko.

I'm not lighting the fucking feet.

That's right.

I didn't like the insinuation.

At least we're a stomach drummer.

Like, I can't handle full firm.

But what happened was we're going back and forth.

I'm trying to convince my wife.

She's like, kind of wants the medium firm.

I want the full firm.

But then I was like about to cave for the medium firm.

And then on the sly,

my wife went to the bathroom and I asked the salesman.

I'm like, all right, so what are we talking about?

What are we looking at here?

He's like, well, the medium firm is $5,000

and the full firm is $3,000.

So I was like, all right, buddy, thanks a lot.

Thank you for that intel.

She comes back.

I'm like, I got to tell you, babe, I'm really feeling this firm.

And he says it'll loosen up in about 90 days and we'll regret not getting the medium firm.

Dude, are you crazy?

So anyway, I got the full firm.

It's really firm.

It's like this table firm.

That's what I'm paid for.

In 90 days, I'm hoping it relaxes.

So you just made that up the 90 days.

No, the 90 days.

It's going to be true.

That's true.

No, I'm a firm guy, too.

I love a firm.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I like the mattress to be very, very firm.

Yeah, this is very, very, very firm.

Like a bus stop fucking

bench.

But I think it's going to ease in, and I think we're going to hit a sweet spot at the 90-day mark.

mark but i must say in my defense that you know my wife's got some hip arthritis you know from running all those years but she said since i got this new bed in the house she wakes up in the morning and no hip pain does it move the bed no no oh so it doesn't have like you can sit up and she lies no you could get that feature but we didn't get that feature that was another for all that money you didn't get that no geez but we haven't bought a new bed in you know well over 20 years and this was like really we needed it was all sunk in cool does one side cool the the other side heat?

No, I didn't get it.

You could get that.

I didn't get any features.

I told the guy, straight up tempurpedic, I don't need any of the special features.

I want a bed.

But I couldn't believe the price difference between the medium firm and the firm.

I don't know why there was such a difference.

I think the firmer it is, the more expensive it is.

Right, more foam, I guess.

I don't know.

Now, does that come with a

headboard and all that stuff?

Is that just the mattress and box spring?

Just no box springs.

Oh, no box springs either?

Or just the mattress.

They say just slip some blue chew underneath the mattress.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, that'll send me to you.

That'll loosen it up.

That'll make it firmer.

Yeah, man.

90 days.

There'll be loose as

a real loose.

Is there a return policy?

Yeah, there's a return policy.

I think you have maybe a year or six months to return.

We could still return it.

Are you thinking that it might be returned?

I initially was thinking that I might return and go for the medium firm, but then I'm like, if I return this, I need to give them another $2,000.

And I'm not doing that.

I will get used to this bed.

Do you think if you sleep on it more, you'll break it in more?

Yes, that's what he said.

So So you should be trying to take a lot of naps

and try to break that bed in.

I'm tossing and turning, baby.

I'm jumping up and down on this thing.

There are other ways to break that bed.

Yeah, you got to hit it, bro.

You got to hit it every night.

Had you christened it yet?

Yeah.

And the bed's been christened.

It's not every night.

No,

you know, I'm not on the blue chew just yet.

Not yet.

Not yet.

But according to Brian's pitch,

that's all you need.

That better be broken in in 60 days.

Oh, yeah.

Anyway, that's my bed advice, you know, to you guys.

If you like a firm, I'll tell you, this thing is phenomenal.

Yeah, we have a bed that we paid for a while ago.

There's no way we're upgrading because we have the bed that goes up, one side goes up, one side goes down.

Yeah, so we're not definitely not in the market for a bed probably until

I probably need like

railings on some hospital bed.

Yeah.

What size bed do you go with at the Flanagan?

Queen.

Queen.

Yeah, we're queen bed people, too.

We should have got a king.

I don't think so.

The king's too small.

I don't don't think so.

I don't like a king.

What's wrong with a king?

But you're a much bigger fellow than I am.

Yeah.

I feel like I get lost, and I feel like she's so far away from me.

I'm the king.

You're a needy bastard, aren't you?

Yeah, but I got two dogs.

I like to have a little contact.

And you guys got a lot of people.

Yeah, so that's why I'm like, maybe we should have got the king.

Yeah.

Well, you got two dogs.

You're like six foot two, whatever the hell you are.

Yeah, plus I got a dog on the bed now and a cat.

Yeah.

The dog sleeps

at her feet and the cat sleeps on top of her.

Okay, you got a lot going on in your beds.

You guys need kings.

At the very minimum, you need kick beds.

You guys got whole villages living on your beds.

Yeah, our bedroom is so small, though, that it would look comical, like a clown bed.

Like, all of a sudden, clowns are going to come out from under each mattress and shit.

It's like knitting.

By the way, I forgot to tell you, Walt, you know, you sent me the videos of Teddy, the dog.

Your property is beautiful back there.

It's nice back there, isn't it?

Yeah, I thought it was a good idea.

Wow, what an oasis.

It's swampland, though.

Oh, it doesn't look like swampland.

Beautiful.

Yeah, my wife hired a landscaper, and she made it the way that she wanted it.

It looks good.

Yeah, we're happy.

She's happy with it.

You know what?

I would have been happy with Swampland.

It didn't matter to me.

It didn't matter how nice it looked.

Kind of guy you are.

Yeah.

Low maintenance.

Low maintenance.

Great at the Picnic Olympics, man.

Oh, that backyard.

Can't play the Picnic Olympics there.

The first one, the one that you were at the second one, but the first Picnic Olympics was in my backyard, but I don't think we could have it there ever again with all the landscaping.

Right.

Yeah.

Right.

The famous clip where Giddamba.

Yeah, fullest.

It's collaborative.

Yeah.

Oh, my God, man.

We had a blast at that Picnic Olympics.

Yeah.

I would do that again.

I'd love that.

We're probably, well,

it's too dangerous at this point to keep going back.

Every time you go back there to do something like that, you're taking a big risk on someone getting major injuries or worse.

It's true.

Could you imagine if someone died at the Picnic Olympics?

Yeah, he's

as long as it wasn't wasn't me.

Well, it could happen, man.

So we could have a heart attack right there.

You're at the age where you can't

discount that some major shit could go on.

Definitely.

Yeah, but at the same time, you can't live your life like that.

I better not exercise.

If somebody

wants to rally and make their own Picnic Olympics, not on our fucking dime, where we're responsible.

That's true, too.

I am not going to be the guy that's going to be held responsible.

Well, how about this?

You require a doctor's note.

Everyone's got to get a physical

note from their doctor.

Nobody would pass.

Giddam isn't going to the doctor to play the Olympics.

Well,

I think that's about it.

I did have some stuff I was going to advise you guys on how to stay happily married, but...

Oh, what do you got?

We have no time for that?

I don't know.

I'm at a new phase in my marriage, Brian.

We're empty nesters now.

I need some advice.

You're actually going to start giving marital advice.

Yeah.

You think you've crossed over that?

You feel you've crossed crossed over a time a certain time frame where you now you can start giving i can give some helpful hints to people all right companies cross the four-year mark yeah man do we have time for this yeah give us at least one all right well this is actually this is just something i looked up because i was like oh i thought these were your brian johnson's old-timey marital advice this is this is married men uh conversations if you're a married man conversation starters for couples oh i need this yeah let me get out my pen uh i'm i'm gonna be really surprised she's tired of hearing about get them

she's tired tired of hearing me complaining about fucking Giddam.

All right, no more Giddam.

That's on your list.

This is the kind of shit I would never, like, if she asked me this, I would be like, I want a divorce.

Okay.

She's like, what is one action that your spouse has done in the past that has made you feel most loved?

Like, this is what I guess like you would be asking your wife or she would be asking you.

Describe what love is to you.

Oh, God, this is just too corny.

This is painful, isn't it?

Yeah, it's just too full of fucking

misery zaps.

How did you see love expressed in your home?

Like, if she asked me any of these questions, I'd be like, are you high?

Yeah.

What the fuck's the matter with you?

Yeah, there are so many, though.

And then

there's 75 of them.

Oh, God.

Five.

What song do you want to serenade me to right now?

Do it.

If you were a musical artist, who would you be and why?

Oh, my God.

These are like the worst banter questions ever.

Yeah, like if any of these came up in the banter, the person would probably get fired.

Right.

They came up with it.

You're right.

These are grounds for divorce.

Yeah, that's what this is.

What's your favorite form of non-sexual physical touch?

Hand job.

That doesn't count as sex, right?

Yeah, it's just, it's everything like that.

That's why I didn't

take too long.

No, but it's funny.

It's funny to mock.

I don't think it's great advice.

Yeah.

Well, how long have you been?

Well, you're 30 years now?

1994, 30 years.

30 years?

23 years.

You said empty master, huh?

Yeah.

How's that feel?

It feels like we accomplished something.

You know, we raised them right, got him out of the house.

Did it feel

very...

For me, it was very

traumatizing.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Wow.

I felt a real sense of

loss

and had to to get used to.

I'm used to it now, but initially when it happened,

it was hard to get over.

It was hard to accept.

It was hard to realize that like everything that I enjoyed about having a family was really

that state, those stages, those kid stages, they're gone and ain't never coming back.

Until you have grandkids.

Yeah.

Right?

Right.

Yeah, I don't know if I'm traumatized, Walt.

It's very new.

It's, you know, it's very very quiet.

It is.

I miss him around the house.

But yeah, we've yet to, it hasn't really taken full shape yet.

It's really new.

If you guys

want to increase the volume at your house, Sage can come over anytime.

Yeah, I don't worry about that.

Always welcome.

Always welcome.

It's unending.

It is fucking ceaseless.

The talking to herself and the hooting and hollering and the like, woo!

She does wrestling, so she watches Ric Flair and she's wooing and she's playing wrestling games.

And

I've never seen somebody have such a good time by themselves.

Yeah.

It's unreal.

Oh, it sounds great.

And I will let you know if the quiet ever gets to the point where I want to inject some lively hooting and hollering.

Yeah, she's your gal.

Yeah.

Love the enthusiasm.

I also love that she's bugging the crap out of you, which

is not, it's not me as much as Mary Beth, because I'm so used to it after all these years.

Like I barely hear it, but Mary Beth still is relatively new to it, I guess.

She's like, can you please close the bedroom bedroom door?

Because

Sage's door is closed, she's all the way at the end of the hall.

Our door is closed, still here, you can still hear it.

Yeah, imagine how eerily quiet it would be, though.

You do on weekends because she'll go see her mom sometimes.

Yeah, and it feels it does.

It feels empty, it feels too quiet, it doesn't feel right.

It does, it does.

There's a feeling, like especially at night, like there's nothing

nothing's going on.

There's no one, there's no one around.

It's just a weird, weird feeling.

I will tell you, though, that like

a real nice gift was

getting Teddy.

I feel like me and my wife need something to nurture.

And Teddy was very,

needy is not the right word, but he needs somebody

around him at all times.

It seems like it would be a bad thing, but for us, it felt like we needed it too.

We needed him to need us.

So he's been nice.

Yeah.

That's great to hear.

Yeah.

You saw him today, right?

I got to see Teddy.

He's very happy to see you.

It seemed like you remembered me, right?

He did.

I didn't see him, you know, that often.

I only met that dog a couple of times, but he definitely was excited to see you and was trying to kiss you and trying to get up on you.

He's a sweet dog.

Oh, he looks fantastic.

Yeah, that worked out, man.

It's costing Walter Bundle, but he's a nice dog.

At least he got the dog for free.

That's right.

That was an expensive dog.

He dropped like 10 grand on that dog.

I would never complain about

his vet bills or whatever the special food he's got to eat or anything.

That's a small price to pay for

what he's injected into our life, though.

So, you know, I never bitch about that.

I'm very glad to hear it.

Yeah, I'm very happy and very grateful that you thought of me when you did.

Yeah.

Because I can imagine, because it really wasn't.

your dog or anything.

So, you know, so for you to step in and take control of that was

then vouch.

Yeah, man.

Well, I knew

it was something that had to be dealt with.

You know, my wife's aunt was dying, and

I knew it was just one more thing they were all talking about.

I heard them talking about it, you know.

But I knew Flanagan was a fan of the Frenchies, and I knew he lost a dog, and it seemed like, you know, everything was coming together.

And

I knew if the Flanagans wanted him, it would be the perfect home.

And I told Fayette there was, oh, she goes, oh, well, my cousin spoke to it.

I said, tell your cousin to forget about it.

That's what I said.

I said, you're not going to get a better home than the Flanagans.

You know, they're talking to people that live on the Upper West Side.

His apartment living is not right for the dogs.

Oh, he loves to play.

I don't know how often he got to play, but he is getting all the years.

He didn't get to run around, I guess, as much as he didn't.

Yeah, so he's getting it all out now in spades.

And,

you know, he's never alone.

He's with me or he's with my wife.

And even my daughter comes home and immediately wants to be like, I'm going to take Teddy.

I'm going to walk him over here.

I'm going to take him up to the woods.

She just wants to spend time with him.

He's just a very affectionate, lovable dog.

Meanwhile, Sox is sharpening a shiv.

Socks is a different kind of

different kind of dog.

Socks is as sharp as a tack.

Socks is smart as a whip, but Sox isn't needy.

Socks is just like, if you feed me, you know, that's all, you know, she doesn't need much more than that.

He needs, he needs attention and he needs to be on your hip, and he needs to be like,

uh, he needs affection.

Sox is more like a cat, in my opinion, right?

Aloof, yeah, she's she's just like whatever, you know, yeah,

yeah.

No, it's great that it worked out.

And let me tell you, Faith's, uh, my wife, Faith's mother, gets so happy when I send her the videos of Ted.

She came up to me.

I didn't know who she was at the rock show.

Yeah,

and uh, she told me, and over

you guys playing super loud, you know, she's like, I don't know if you know who I am, but I'm Brian Dischelle's mother-in-law.

And I didn't put it together right away because I was just I thought she was going to be like, you know, are you going to take your shirt off?

She's not bad, Brian.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.