#607: BQE

Hey, hey, hey, Walt here, and it's time for that Patreon plug.

So last week, we released a show called Sunday Drive, and Sunday Drive is a real simple premise.

Sunday Jeff and I take a drive to some destination, and you get to tag along for the ride.

We've gone to pumpkin festivals.

One episode, we trace back and visit all the long gone stores where Sunday Jeff used to go on his toy hunts.

We went to a hardware store, a grocery store.

This episode, we went to the largest mall in New Jersey, the Great American Dream Mall in East Rutherford.

So, let's hear a clip.

Like, there's just should have been something to commemorate that last day of the consecutive thousand-plus days of going Toys R Us in a Row.

Something, like, some sort of, like, maybe like a parade in the parking lot,

like the devils.

I'm on a float with Jeffrey.

He's like, you know, this guy returned more than you bought, right?

That's a return.

How's that possible?

And I'm bringing in the UPC starting to curl up off the original one.

Hilarious, right?

So that's what came out last week.

What's coming out this Tuesday?

It's the return of Third Eye Radio.

Radio, radio, radio, radio, radio.

Now, for those who aren't familiar with that show, it's one of my personal favorites as I get the ridiculous honor to get to sit beside Monster Magnet Stave Windorf and talk about some of the most inside baseball baseball topics anyone has ever discussed on a podcast.

From 70s music, comics, and movies.

In this Tuesday's episode, in an effort to squeeze as many varied topics as possible, we play Third Eye Bingo.

So, whatever topic matches the bingo ball, Dave and I break down that subject in depth.

Let's hear a clip so you get the full effect.

Our topic is Devo.

Oh, what's

I wasn't sure?

I wasn't sure if you're a fan or not, or you're, or can can you uh admire if you're not a fan some of the bizarre

hands?

What's up, but don't say that about the same.

How good is that shit, huh?

How good is that?

I would be remiss if I didn't read this public message regarding third eye radio.

Warning.

Consuming too much third eye radio can turn you into a badass motherfucking 70s savant.

So please listen responsibly.

All right, so if any of those, as well as the many, many other shows on the TSD Patreon have piqued your interest, go join up today.

I mean, just Google Tell them Steve Dave, Patreon, and you can go sign up today and listen to all that sweet, sweet TSD fun.

And just a little housekeeping before we get back to the show.

$60 Ants, you have one poll that I desperately need you guys to go and fill out if you haven't done so already yet.

And $100 tier ants, you have three polls that just went out recently that I really, really, really need you guys to get filled out so I can get the order into production.

Okay.

So $60 ants, please check your posts or your emails.

$100 ants, please check yours as well because I desperately need those sizes marked down so I can get to production rolling.

And if you guys don't go and vote for what size you want, fortunately, you're going to have to get a different gift then.

And I'm not sure what that will be, but it won't be as good as the gift that I sent the poll out for.

Okay.

All right.

Let's get back to TESD.

I was the young whipper snapper.

Nice.

This is where we play billiards.

Yeah.

And I fuck you.

Miso horny.

Yeah, so much horny.

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell'em Steve Dave.

Hey, Walt.

Hey.

And hey, Q.

Hey, yo.

Q, Justin.

Wow.

People don't think it's a sacrifice for you to do this show, but

I feel like it sacrifices some of your mental health a little bit.

At times.

I mean, I live approximately 14 miles from this office, and then sometimes it just takes so long to get here because of the traffic.

But I'd rather do that than on Zoom.

Zoom's last resort.

Zoom's last resort.

Motherfucker, man.

Today.

Why don't you think about getting a summer home in Jersey?

Yeah.

14 miles away from this year.

A little chateau down

by the shore.

Maybe I could sleep on that couch.

Yeah, it was a horrific car accident.

But luckily,

my firehouse was at it.

So I was able to get around it a little lickety split.

It must feel so great to not be one of the suckers left behind, huh?

Yeah.

One of the guys who didn't put in the time to the firehouse.

Yeah.

You deserve it.

You deserve it.

It's 9-13, man.

9-11, did you find that there was

very little

said about it?

I looked in the post and you had to go way down to find anything about 9-11.

Except for a story that said that they did like a poll in Florida and a lot of the kids, like younger kids in Florida, like

did not know what 9-11 was.

I'm talking high school.

Not like little kids.

In New York, it's different, and I'm still so involved with the fire department that I always get, you know what I mean?

I don't think I'm the right guy to ask that.

Yeah, I heard a stat that 27% of Americans who are on the planet right now weren't alive when 9-11 happened.

Yeah.

And I saw a very nice ceremony last night.

I take the dogs out walking in Keyport.

right along the water and they had a really nice tribute with bagpipes and everything and yeah nice it was a nice little tribute that uh they did down there so i i actually did see some okay so there's still some people out there acknowledging and yeah i think there's a lot still especially tri-state area because so many people know people who died then and stuff florida may not what why did you why did you mention florida as well that's what i read in an article and it said that 20 or uh a lot of the kids didn't know

yeah florida

may not have been affected as uh yeah i remember going down to as raw as it was here in Alabama I remember going down to Alabama right afterwards and there were like signs about it but it wasn't like here yeah it didn't feel like here

so I don't know nine eleven

I don't know yeah I'm not surprised I mean like how much did we weep about Pearl Harbor growing up yeah and it would have been like what what year was Pearl Harbor 4 41 uh 42 42

yeah let's see okay so six months 71 yeah so it wouldn't have been that much longer forty

41.

Okay, okay, yeah, we got into it.

It wouldn't have been that much longer

than 9-11 to right now.

So, yeah, we were not fucking weeping.

We weren't weeping about Pearl Harbor, you're right.

No.

No.

We didn't experience it, so it's hard, I guess, to

well, also right after Pearl Harbor.

We were in World War II, so there were a lot of other things to talk about.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

We kind of got him back.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

I'm on the mic.

I know.

Coming in on he's back.

Unprompted.

People love that.

Keep doing that.

You want to get him.

Don't let him take your win away.

Somebody went on a big trip.

Where'd you go?

It was not me.

Who went where?

Walt?

Went on that cruise?

Nine-day cruise.

Yeah.

I did exactly what you said, Q.

I

decided I was going to try to go offline.

Oh, good.

And I believe I haven't slept as much in a nine-day period since I was an infant.

Ooh, nice.

That's a good thing.

Yeah.

That's well rested.

Every day, like long-ass naps in the middle of the day, just taking a nap and not waking up until about 4:30.

No, waking up.

Nice.

Then running up to the

Wind Jammer, which is the, I guess, the buffet

for the food and everything.

Found out that, yeah,

they have chocolate chip cookies on day one, but then

by day two, that's long past.

No more chocolate chip cookies, and it's all oatmeal,

raisin cookies.

What the fuck's going on?

Yeah, but it was a good time.

Good time.

I went to Boston, saw Fenway Park, I took a tour of Fenway Park.

Oh, cool.

The green, the giant green monster.

Yeah, it was cool.

And

it's nice, the tour guys, there was two older guys,

they hate New York.

Yeah,

and they had to take any reason to take a shot at New York.

Yeah.

And they thought they found out, they're asking, Where are you from?

Where you from?

And I said, Well, I'm from.

And they're like, Oh, you go.

And I was like, No, I fucking hate.

I hate all New York teams.

I'm piling on.

I said, I relish this.

I revel in this.

But it was weird because

I had my duffel bag.

We took an excursion off the boat into Boston, and I had this empty old 1988 Devil's Canvas bag.

And I brought it with me because my wife was like, bring a bag just in case we buy something and you'll have something to carry it in.

So that was the first thing we did was we went on the

Fenway Park tour.

And immediately the guy's like,

can't bring that bag in here.

No bags.

And I was like, well, what I I do with my bag?

And he was like, well, you could bring it over to the somewhere.

It's like four blocks over.

And I'm like, forget it.

I said.

So I went into this store

that was next door, like a silvenir store for like Boston Red Sox shit and everything.

And I hid it in the merchandise.

Wow.

Nice.

I like this.

And my wife was going, like, you look so suspicious over here.

You're like looking around.

I'm looking around for the, like, it was basketball t-shirts.

Yeah.

Like Boston Celtics.

I'm like, it's not basketball season.

Yeah, you'll probably see.

Who's going to come over here at 10 o'clock in the morning and file through these shirts?

So I stuffed it in between.

The shirts were so thick.

I kind of had it so it like in between shirts, holding it up so it didn't touch the floor.

Nice.

Yeah.

Nice work.

I'm sure they were like, is he taking something?

I was like, no, he's leaving something.

I don't know why.

And then we went to Maine.

We did an excursion in Maine.

Maine is beautiful.

Maine is where you'll see some really wealthy, beautiful homes.

Other than that, man, there is a dearth of shit to fucking go on a tour and hear about.

In Maine, yeah.

In Maine.

I mean, they had like the, they kept talking about this one fucking poet for like a half hour.

Some guy named Waddle or something.

And I was like, here's a rock where it signifies where his mother gave birth to him.

And I was like, here's his home over here.

And I'm just like, holy shit, we've been on this boat for, I mean, mean, on this bus for a half hour, and all we heard about is this one poet.

And then it got so bad at one point.

There's like this house over here, right along the water.

A young couple moved in there last year, and the house got flooded, and they haven't been able to move back in since.

Oh, no.

So, like, local problems.

So then they come around, they go around the bed, and he's like, Now you've been able to see the house over the other side.

He goes,

It's a real shame insurance wouldn't cover that.

Wow, yeah.

All right.

But they,

you got to have moolah to live in Maine, it looks like.

Oh, I imagine so, yeah.

Holy shit, the homes are beautiful.

But other than that, there isn't much out there except if you like to go lobstering and fishing.

Well, you're real outdoorsy hunting.

Yeah.

Yeah, I was

shocked at how little there was to talk about on the Maine tour.

They, the bushes live there.

Okay.

45 and 52.

I don't know what the fuck.

You know how they have the numbers, the Bush numbers.

I don't think it's 45.

Get them?

43, and I think 41.

41 and 43.

They kept talking about the bushes.

And I think the bushes have, it's been long enough now where people don't despise them.

Oh, it's crazy.

Dude, I went to a dinner this week, Tuesday night, while the debates were on.

I was at a dinner in Manhattan, and people were talking about the debates.

And

the most hardest of hardcore liberals that I know, Trump has

like, they hate him so much that anybody else is great.

Then now he's a cute old man.

Now he's that village idiot.

I heard all this on the other night.

Oh, all this stuff about it.

Yeah, they love him now.

I think it's because him and Michelle Obama kind of buddied up, so it softened his image.

Bush.

Yeah.

I think also people were like, Cheney was running the show.

Like, so anything wrong?

It was, it was.

And 41 is no longer with us, right?

No.

No.

So then we went to St.

John's in Canada.

Woo!

There ain't nothing to do there either.

You thought Maine was slow?

Yeah, you thought they don't even have a hollowed-out house to show you.

We took an hour ride on the parkway to a little fishing village where only 500 people live, which you'd think would be quite, I guess, interesting.

But there's just, you could look at everything in 20 minutes and you're like, all right, well, what now?

Like, we get back on the bus, we go back for another hour and a half drive.

Oh, God.

Yeah, so there wasn't much to do, but I did save another old lady.

Again?

And it happened again.

We were, I don't know if it was Maine or something.

He's like Michael Landon.

Yeah.

That angel show.

He just walks the earth and builds all people.

Yeah, I would have him.

So they let us out on the bus, which I think was irresponsible because there was these

really smooth rock formations that

they looked like soft dough.

Whatever the weathering of the rocks had done in this location of St.

John's or Maine, I can't remember where it was now.

They all bleed together at one point.

They almost like

call to you to be like, you know, you can walk on me and it'll be fine.

and i guess people in their 80s forget they're in their 80s and they when this lady got out there and she was like i can't get back she goes and i'm just like i look at our tour guide and i'm like okay she's older than a lady who can't get back right well that's another thing on the on on this cruise i was the young whipper snapper nice

i was i i was the only one walking the boat at 8 30

looking for a cookie still taking naps though yeah i was like everybody was treating me like frankie Valley on the boat, man.

Like a rock star, because

I was still able to walk without a fucking walker or one of those rascals.

Look at this athlete.

So I had to help this old lady get back.

And at one point, I'm like, this is fucking treacherous.

Like, how bad is it going to be if she fucking can't make it and she falls on these rocks?

She's got to try to take you with her.

Oh, yeah.

I'm just like, so we finally get back and

we get back on the boat.

And she keeps calling me her hero and everything.

And

but I mean the fucking tour guy got more applause than I did, you know, on the boat after

everybody saw me fucking bring her back into the fucking bus.

Nobody gave you a tip or anything?

No,

everybody gave the tour guide a tip.

No tip

fucking saved a human being's life.

It's fucked up.

Did you see Bon Jovi talk someone off that bus?

I saw that.

Yeah, I saw that.

Yeah, Waltz Ken, nothing.

Not a single news article about the other hero from years ago.

I found a great comic book store.

Oh.

Strange Adventures.

I believe that was.

Great name already, yeah.

I believe that was in

Nova Scotia.

And I could not believe the fucking store that is in the middle of nowhere.

Yeah.

Like with an unbelievable selection.

Found the book I was looking for for years.

I could find it on eBay, but I don't want to pay these prices on eBay prices.

I found it for cover prices.

Oh, what book?

It was called Before the Darkness, Legion of Superheroes, a hardcover.

Okay.

And it goes for like 200 on eBay.

I got it for 50 fucking bucks.

Oh, we still got it.

Yeah.

Just in case if this was the old day, that'd be up for sale 200 bucks in the stash.

And

that was basically a lot of sleeping,

a lot of maxing, relaxing.

Feel good about it?

Yeah, it went quite quick.

I thought it was going to like crawl.

Yeah.

But nine days didn't really take all that long.

I didn't hear from Giddam once.

Whoa.

Yeah, nine straight days out of him.

You're right over there.

Yeah.

I was following him online.

Are you following the boat?

Yeah.

Yeah.

He put an air track, an air tag.

Because it's weird.

He's been in between two shirts, two t-shirts in Austin for now.

For almost two hours, he hasn't moved.

I wonder if he took another nap.

It's weird your approach because I feel like I might go next door

to the shop and be like, hey, is it all right if I leave my bag under your counter?

Oh, because I saw people doing that.

Oh, you saw people doing that?

You saw people doing, like, can I leave my bag?

Because a lot of people had bags.

Yeah.

And they were like, no, we're not going to be responsible for the bag.

Like, they were fucking so immediately aggressive, telling you, like, we're not going to be responsible.

Your fucking bags.

You're not even buying anything in here.

No, leave.

So I was just like, understandable.

Yeah.

I'm going to hide it.

And if, you know what?

If it's not there, it's not there.

I told Deb.

I was like,

you know, I'll take the, I'll roll the dice.

I said, right.

If it's not there and someone finds it and confiscates it or takes it, I go, what am I going to do?

But at least this way, there's still a shot.

Yeah.

You know, I'm not just like throwing it out because some people just threw their bags out.

Yeah, that's crazy.

But you did the right thing, bud.

You saved an old woman.

Yeah.

That's the second old lady that I've helped on a cruise.

Damsels in distress.

So then I thought, like, you know, that karma would pay off.

I saw this older lady.

She was on on the boat by herself.

I saw her every night in the casino,

and she had a crew hand

like following her around with a fucking glass suitcase, see-through suitcase of chips.

She had that much.

Yeah.

And

so, on the first night I saw her at the blackjack table, I watched her play and everything, and I was watching her what she was doing.

And then the second night I see her, and she's got this suitcase.

So then I start, I finally am like, all right, I'm going to, I'm going to actually talk to her and see.

Like, I was like, hey, did you win all that money?

And she goes, yes.

And I said, did you just win that since last night when I saw you here?

And she looked at me and she looked at the dealer.

And I think she was just like, he's going to rob me.

Stop bothering me.

Really?

Usually winners like talking about that.

And I was just like, how did you win all that money?

I said.

And she's just like, I like to play.

She just turns around and she goes, I'm going to another another table.

I said, oh, no, no, I'm not even playing.

I said, I go, no, just stay, please.

I go, I don't mean to make you go to another table.

I said, and she just

disregarded it and went to another table.

It felt horrible.

You fucked up our dirt juju, man.

This table's cold.

Here comes the cooler.

If she was out on the rocks, he would have let her die.

Really?

And I watched, she was on the excursion, too.

She, she, um, giving you dirty looks over her shoulders.

She took the the cruise by herself though.

She had to be in her 80s.

Good for her.

And I wonder though, like what,

how did she accumulate all this money to put it all?

Either she won all that money in the in the bingo, in the not the bingo chips, but the chips, or

she just cashed it all in, and that's what she's going to be playing with on the, on the boat.

She probably got a line of credit on the boat and stuff like that.

You could do that.

You could open up that and they just give you the chips.

It had to be $10,000 in chips.

But to me and you, like, that's an insane amount of money to gamble.

To people who love gambling, that is like nothing.

It's starting.

Gatto loves to gamble.

And

I lose $1,000 and I fucking hate myself.

I'm literally like...

A thousand?

Yeah.

I lost 20.

I was fucking about to throw myself overboard.

And he was like, it's okay.

I'm willing to, like, I'll do 20 without a problem.

Like, around 500, I start, I stop having fun.

Okay.

And I'm trying to win that back.

And then it's 1,000, I want to throw myself off a fucking cliff or something like that.

You come down and say, I was like, Gatto, I'll say goodnight to him in Vegas.

And I'll wake up the next morning.

He'll still be going.

And

my tour manager, sometimes I'll wake up.

It'd be like, I'm up 15 grand.

I'm down $8,000.

I'm like, this is nuts.

I don't get it, man.

They do it.

They love it.

I watched a guy.

I went down to the bar because they, I mean, the casino, because they had the football game on.

You couldn't get the football game in your room, which I thought was fucking.

in your room.

Yeah, but I'm like, I want to watch it in my room.

I'm like, I don't want to watch it on.

They had it on the big screen.

They had it on the big screen on the top deck.

Was this Brady's?

No, this was the first game of the year, Ravens and Chiefs.

Okay, it wasn't.

No, it wasn't Brady's debut as a broadcaster.

I did see that.

Was he any good?

I was curious about your opinion.

I don't think he was bad.

I don't think he stood out.

That's his first time.

I mean, I don't think he did a bad job.

I don't think he did a great job.

I think he had a poor matchup.

Okay.

He had Dallas and Cleveland, not a sexy matchup.

Dallas destroyed Cleveland.

So

maybe in a more exciting game, he would have a little bit more to work with.

But

I don't think he embarrassed himself at all.

I saw people online saying he was shit.

It was garbage.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

Yeah.

But so you could watch that first game up on the top deck, but it's fucking September.

It's cold.

It's cold.

It's windy.

It's 10 o'clock at night on the ocean.

It was way too uncomfortable.

So I went down and watched it in the casino, and I sat at a table that was closed, a card table, and I watched another guy who was doing, what's that thing where the thing spins?

And I watched an Asian guy.

I was texting Frank while it was going on.

He texted me how it was going.

And I took, I was sneaking pictures of this guy who was gambling with like so much fucking money.

And Frank called it.

He goes, by the end of the game, he goes, he won't have any of that money left.

And it was like 10 minutes left in the game.

And I was like, it took it.

I go, update.

He fucking lost it all.

He lost it.

Oh, my God.

He played for three hours, but he lost that giant pile of chips, which goes to show you that it is fucking a scam.

One of the reasons I don't like to gamble is because I know I'm not the guy that's going to walk away being like, I can't believe how up I am.

I know why not.

Why not you?

I don't know.

I don't know, but there's something with me that I'm like, I know I'm going to walk away and be like, I can't believe I spent that money.

I saw a lady win $10,000.

She went absolutely ape shit just doing the slots.

Really?

She was like, yeah, she was having an orgasm.

And she was like, I can't believe it.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.

And I kind of walked around the corner.

I was like, what's she yelling about?

Like, she just won $10,000.

And this casino had just opened because I guess they had to wait till they were outside a certain amount of waters.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

And you're like, she must have played only like fucking

two roles and she fucking won 10 grand.

No, if you do that, or say Deb does that.

Deb did one.

She won $350 on bingo.

She's a winner, man.

Yeah.

She's always winning money.

I was sleeping and she was so mad at me.

She was like, where were you?

Because I was supposed to go down to the theater before the bingo game started.

She was like, I fell asleep again.

She goes, I won $350.

I was like, so what's the problem?

She goes, I had too many bingo boards to

monitor.

She was saying I needed to help her.

Oh, right.

She brought too many.

But she won on one of them.

Good for her, man.

But I don't, yeah, why not you, though?

I don't know.

There's some sort of cloud that lingers over me.

And I think, like, you saw the movie The Cooler, right, with William H.

Macy?

I did.

I've seen the trailer.

Okay, so it's about a guy who, like, is such, has such bad luck and is such a fucking loser.

The casino hires him to go to winning tables and just sort of fucking true.

No, this is a movie.

Oh, okay.

I thought it was, but it's not based on a true story because there's no such thing.

No, I've heard in real life they have coolers, though.

I've heard in real life they do.

No way.

Can you imagine the fucking guy who gets like, yeah, you walk in, you're like, well, professional loser.

Yeah.

Like, I'd like to believe I'm not that guy.

I might not win.

And I'm also like, I don't know the rules enough to, like, like something like the slots, it's easy.

You just push the button and it does all the work for you.

But like, there are, like, you know, in Blackjack or the poker tables or even roulette, there's certain strategies, I guess, you used in order to up your chances of winning.

And I don't know them.

And I just know myself like I've gambled before.

Wait, why, why do you need to know it inside and out, though, to I think you can still win without being a fucking expert, though.

Without being a pro?

I don't know.

I feel like I don't know.

Blackjack can kiss people off if you don't know.

I know.

I played my first time ever playing at a blackjack table with a real dealer was on the cruise.

And I won.

I won $75 one night.

Hey, not good.

I walked away.

Yeah.

Well, how much per hand do you play?

Yeah, it was a minimum was $10.

$10.

Yeah, which is tough.

But I was like, all right, I'm going to fucking limit this to 50 bucks.

If I lose to 50, I'm out of here.

And I wound up winning 75, I think.

Very good.

A nice $5.

$5 is the number I'll play all night.

Yeah.

You know, you get the 10.

God forbid they only have the 25 table open.

Like, I don't even want to.

They did have, they had $15 tables, they had 10, and they had $100 tables.

There was only one man at $100 table.

And I just wanted to know what...

What does he do for a living?

What does he do?

And he looked like...

Yeah.

Looked like a rich guy.

No, looked like uh he just looked like something out of a out of a marlborough fucking cigarette ad he just looked like a guy who's tough

who fucking could take the fucking loss and still fucking come up like it wouldn't affect him he just looked tougher than nails right he's probably got like some ranch somewhere you know

fucking million acres yeah but yeah a hundred dollars a hand

that's fucking that would be stomach churning i wouldn't be able to do it

yeah i wouldn't wouldn't be able to do it uh very quickly i'm sorry we have to double up we didn't we weren't here last week apologies for that but we've got world travelers yeah yeah you went away too i was in uh i was in uh the keys the florida keys love the keys don't you that's where you got to get your second house that is i am getting the problem with the keys right now is

There's a house down there when the first time you and I went, like early 2000s, late 90s, there was a house that was for sale for like 300 and something.

It is now $2.5 million for us and it hasn't been updated.

And it's like, that's just it down there.

Like, everything's so fucking expensive

that it's almost like,

I don't want to, you know what I mean?

I know house is an investment, and you could always just sell and get your money back, but like,

I don't know.

No taxes in Florida.

This is true.

Well, I wouldn't do it until the show ended anyway.

So I wouldn't, you know, I'm missing out on that scam anyway.

But I do love it.

I love it down there.

It's beautiful.

It's just the fucking best.

And now when I go to QS, I know so many of the bar owners and restaurant owners that like, it's nice.

I would go out to dinner with like different people every night and hang out.

And they tell me stories of the island and stuff.

It's nice.

I get totally fucking relaxed down there, man.

And now they have these golf carts, dude.

I just fucking rent one of those for a week and I'm just cruising around the keys on a fucking golf cart.

It's the best feeling, man.

Yeah,

last time I went with you, you got the golf cart, and it's so much easier than a car.

It's easier to park.

It's open, so it's nice.

You You can yell at people.

And apparently you can drive them drunk, too, because a lot of people seem to be

a lot of people driving around down there having a few.

People just driving them and holding the to-go kind of like going around.

But yeah, I do down there.

I saw Beetlejuice while I was down there.

The movie?

The new one?

Yeah, good.

I liked it.

I really fucking enjoyed it.

I really had a good time.

They show, I wouldn't know spoilers, but what did you think of, like, they showed Betelgeuse who he was when he was alive?

Oh, oh, yeah.

God, dude, I thought it was one of the funniest things I had seen in theaters in a long time.

Yeah.

It's so fucking funny when they cut back to his old life, man.

I was like embarrassing myself laughing so hard in the theater.

Yeah.

Yeah, I took Sage to go see it.

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, she liked it.

She liked a lot.

Well, she had never seen the first one.

Neither had Mary Beth.

So we watched the first one, and then the next day we went to see the updated one, which it's like 88, man.

That is a long time between sequels.

Yeah.

Yeah, it is a long time.

Oh, I forgot to mention, I saw the Barnabas house.

Remember Dark Shadows?

Dark Shadows.

Oh, yeah.

In Maine, they did it during the tour.

They showed us the house that Barnabas lived in and the opening of Dark Shadows.

And the lady with the tour guy was like, and for those who may

remember Dark Shadows.

And I was like, everybody fucking on here is going to remember that.

I'm the only one that has vague memories of it.

Everybody on here was in their fucking teens.

They're watching

their soaps.

Did they hammer you over the head with Stephen King stuff or not really?

Oh, no.

No, never even once was he mentioned.

Wow.

Yeah.

The bushes were mentioned constantly.

No, Stephen King, no.

I went to a butterfly conservatory.

Wow.

Yeah.

I walked around a room with thousands of people.

You weren't dragged to it by

that sounds like a chocolate walk type situation.

No,

every time, because it's been there for you.

Decades and I've never gone and I was like,

fuck it.

Like, let me just go check it out.

Because I've been to them before and they were beautiful and it was fucking amazing.

So, I was like, just sitting there with them.

Can you let them land on you?

I let them do whatever they want, man.

It's so peaceful and beautiful.

Yeah.

It's not for you.

Not for me.

I don't want them on me.

You know, some butterflies drink blood.

That's all right, man.

Like, if I was talking to a kid who works there, he's like in his early 20s.

And he's like, he goes, I used to be so depressed till I started working here.

He's like, now it's like I spend my day surrounded by birds and butterfly, and they pipe in like calming music and stuff.

And he's like, it just feels so nice to come to work and be here.

I was like, I don't blame you, man.

It's pretty beautiful.

They have like little

things where they hang up all the eggs, the nest things.

And you could watch them if you stand long enough.

They break out and you see a butterfly getting born.

Well, isn't it born as a worm?

Yeah, but then they build the cocoon.

You see them coming out of the cocoon.

So you see the slimy little worm coming out.

No, there is no slimy worm.

It's a butterfly at that point.

It's a butterfly.

That's what I'm saying.

It comes out of it.

Yeah,

it comes out.

You just see their wings come.

And I was like, man, I was like.

Don't they only live for a day?

10 days.

Ten days.

Ten days.

That's how long butterflies live?

You should have told that kid when he was like, it's so fucking awesome.

I'm not depressed.

Like, you know, they only live for 10 days.

You're essentially a human butterfly.

You know that, right, buddy?

I hear some of them they're going to make a 10.

I'm like, I'm going to crush this fucking kid.

Oh, you feel good, huh?

All your doomed friends flying around you.

If only I knew that's what it took.

Not all the medication, not all the therapy and shit, just some butterflies.

Yeah, yeah.

And suddenly your whole life can turn around.

Yeah, it's beautiful.

Yeah, so yeah, it was, so last week we weren't able to

do it.

So last week we weren't able to do it.

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I got two more, but we'll wait for them until later.

I did want to, I'm surprised that it hasn't come up yet

because he does have his mic.

So I thought maybe that's why he was mic'd up today.

So he could tell you guys that he, in

our absence, since last time you guys were here and I was on a vacation, I came back to find out that Giddam has been deputized by the management of the Air Force Plaza

as a security guard who goes on rounds.

Oh,

my God.

How much does this pay?

Nothing,

They asked him if he could go on rounds, two rounds a night to make sure there's no homeless people or any shenanigans going out in the plaza for no compensation.

He gets nothing out of it.

Why would you do that?

I'm here the latest.

Yeah, but you're taking up, but you're putting yourself in like a what happens if you get there and there's like all there's like a homeless dude just sleeping there.

I call the cops and then wait outside for them too.

So what's on?

What are your two rounds?

At eight o'clock, I start locking the doors.

You go around, you make sure everything's locked.

I make sure everything's locked.

I have a sweep.

But what are you looking for?

I lock the doors.

Yeah, but what are you looking for?

Make sure there's no...

He's not hiding somewhere.

He?

Yes.

There's one specific guy that can't do that.

Yeah, he had it three times in four days.

Well, what does he do?

He sleeps under the...

the divan over in the back corner there.

So what else does he do?

He goes through the cigarette ashtrays and pulls out like the half-smoked cigarettes.

Well, what does he do that's bothering you?

He's sleeping here.

So that seems a bit hypocritical to me.

What are you pulling the ladder out once you get up to the fucking top?

What's going on now?

But he takes it so seriously that I said,

I asked him, you want to go see Michelle

has joined a band and he's performing this Saturday.

I was like, you want to go see Nichelle's band play?

He goes, well, Well, I got my rounds.

I was like, Who's going to do the rounds?

I was like, Are you fucking insane?

That's out there, bro.

Even for you, that's fucking out there.

It's in my blood.

Just like you fly fires.

You know, you can take a night off.

I mean,

he just got off.

Constant petulance.

I haven't fought a fire in over 10 years.

But if he, I think if he had had this job, he was doing it for a year, he might be able to take a day off.

But this is like the, not even a month.

And you wanted to take a fucking you know take a sick day already

from a job he's not just don't even give a fuck

how would they how would they know like how would they even know they would never know

they test me what would they say if they did know they got nothing to say

he's like oh i had to go out that night they're like but

to the deputy

a true fucking barney fife there has never been other than this guy this was this was the first night he was here i i thought it it was Wolf except for he's there for

a while.

Okay, that's a problem.

Yeah.

And I worry, like, you know, what if he sleeps late and then like one of the other tenants comes in and surprises him and he's you worry about that?

Yeah.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So what foreign lady?

You know, we don't want to she don't need that in her life.

No, Ron, whatever the fucking guy's name is.

Well

he's on our shit list.

He was complaining about the hallway clutter.

Yeah.

So what uh what what's your move?

What did they tell you to do should you come across this guy?

Not to confront him, of course.

Well, what I do is I try to make a lot of noise, and then I give him five minutes to leave.

And if he's not gone by five minutes, then I call the cops.

Farting in the

trying to wake him up.

Well, like the other night I was taking out the trash, like I shake the trash bag, which is all full of empty, so it like jingles.

You're not sure who the homeless person is like.

It's like a kitterbelle to you guys.

That's like when I go to someone, I shake the fucking can for socks and the fucking teddy, and they come a running.

I like that he referred to them as you guys.

You just

kindred spirits.

Oh, that's funny.

Hey, I mean, I can do it because I have been

taken for a homeless person.

Yeah.

Me and get them we're out.

I told you that story.

We're in KFC and some guy walking.

Oh, you won't have a walk.

Hey, you guys, going to, I don't take offense to this.

I'm going to give you guys some money.

And I'm like, what?

You're like, okay.

Wow.

How did this come about?

Like, who?

I found the guy who was leaving one night.

I found the guy.

So, you know, I called the cops.

Usually the usually call one time and they don't come back.

Yeah.

And then the second night he was there.

And like I said, I should.

Do you know his name?

No.

But I shook the bag, like I said, as I was leaving,

and he kind of of moved his head a little.

So I know he knew I was there.

And then I went outside, threw the trash bag out, and I watched the doors.

He didn't leave.

So then I called the cops again.

And then it happened a third time.

And I reached out to our maintenance guy.

And I'm like, I don't want to cause any problems.

I said, but the front door key lock, it said,

my key doesn't work.

I go, did the locks get changed?

He said, no.

So

we realized the key, when the key got copied, they gave us the wrong block.

Yeah, you didn't need to tell all this.

I was just wondering, I was like, where is this going?

Nowhere.

Nowhere.

How did you get the position?

But I had had,

it got escalated to the property manager, Jill.

And she's like, she's like, she was like, she deputized them on the side.

She's like, everyone's supposed to lock the door when they leave.

No one's been doing it.

I'm getting very upset.

She's like, make sure the door's not locked.

Only I had a fucking snitch on my side.

Only if there was a fucking sell-out snitch that I could deputize.

There it was.

She gave me the key, and

I got a snitch.

And she said, you know, can you do a little sweep?

Can't even get a sweep.

Multiple sweeps per night.

Yeah, it's shocking that there's nothing offered in return.

Yeah.

Like not even pay, like we'll knock, you know, 25 bucks off your rent per month or something like that.

You know, I mean, do we need to be compensated for everything just being good neighbors or tenants?

Is that just being a good neighbor?

Being a good neighbor is like keeping an eye off for your neighbor.

If like, hey, somebody's like on their porch taking their package.

Not like I'm now committed to two nightly rounds walking around and like checking locks like I'm an old school like cop or something.

He's been going around to the local businesses seeing if they want to do like a neighborhood watch thing.

They all go around and they patrol together.

The Jersey coin guy is just like,

I thought your guys are coming for me.

Sweating bullets.

We rocked out the other night.

Yes.

Yeah.

You went to see Alex Cooper, right?

Zombies Cooper.

Yeah, zombie.

How was that?

PNC?

PNC.

Good times.

Yeah,

a lot of people.

A lot of people went.

A lot of residents.

All,

what's it called?

All orchestrated.

Who was the, what would you call him?

The facilitator?

Yeah, Jimmy the Hair guy.

Jimmy the Hair Guy.

Yeah.

Brought us all out together.

Nice, man.

Do you wonder why he didn't ask you?

Well, I thought I wasn't around, right?

You weren't around, but we got these tickets a long time ago, so he wouldn't have known.

Do you know why he didn't ask me?

He told me he thought that you can't hang like a normal person.

Probably

no, he told me he didn't have your phone number.

That's definitely true.

Anybody he didn't ask.

Chuck does.

Chuck got to reach out.

Anybody he didn't ask, he said,

I asked everybody I had a number for.

That's all right.

The person that he asked that I'm like, look, I know he likes to drive.

I know he doesn't mind taking a six-hour ride to come down and hang out.

But Frank Five at that concert, I was like, Yeah, because he's not a fan of either one.

Either one, yeah.

Like, why'd you eat it?

He's on his phone the whole time.

Yeah, sitting down.

Sitting down on his phone the whole time.

Hallis Cooper's still got it.

I mean, how old is he now?

78.

Yeah, he's still got it.

Yeah, I think that has to be the key to,

you know, staying as young and vibrant as he is.

It has to be the performing

on that

every night.

It's got to be some sort of exlixcler.

How do you say that?

Exlixir.

Excel elixir.

There we go.

Yeah.

Yeah, he's not slowing down.

Death has got to catch him.

He's not just waiting around.

And he's got the young bride, the young wife that he likes to show off.

That's not his.

That's not his wife?

That's his daughter.

Oh, that's his daughter?

Yeah.

Oh, because he's like, she belongs all to me.

Like, it made it sound like it was his daughter.

That's his daughter.

It took over the role.

His wife used to have that role.

Okay, so maybe I have seen his wife do it in the past then.

Did she do it in?

Was it his wife or his daughter in the last time we saw him?

It was only a year ago, yeah.

That was also his daughter.

Doing what?

She just comes out and does this, like

Marie Antoinette.

Yeah.

And because like they do the guillotine.

Didn't we see him with Troy?

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Okay.

That's her cottage.

Yeah, that's that's his daughter.

She's mine, I think, because that's his daughter.

Okay.

Yeah.

It works for wife or daughter, I guess.

I guess so.

She's all mine.

Yeah, I

take that as a wife but i don't know you would yeah

this is the butterfly there's a there's a webcam in it see how peaceful that looks well yeah i've been in one this this flamingo is where butterfly can

ret are their names the two flamingos

i'm surprised uh i guess they have to do some

they have to know their shit though that they don't put any kind of birds in there that are going to eat butterflies tons of birds in there yeah but none that would eat them Then again, I guess if they do eat a butterfly every once in a while, it's not that bad.

They've got it, right?

Yeah,

they get new cocoons in weekly.

They buy them from a farm because they die after 10 days.

Oh, they got the sounds going?

Birds.

Yeah, beautiful stuff.

Well, if you're down in Q West, hit the Q West Butterfly Nature Conservatory.

They actually even let me in.

It was so beautiful, Walt, that I took some pictures with the staff.

They let me in for free.

When I walked out, I was like, I want to pay for tickets because I want to help support what they're doing there.

I I didn't realize tickets were 17 bucks each day

5'10 might have re-evaluated but you are the fucking king of fucking Key West yeah he's the king of Key West he's the king of Staten Island yeah no that's Pete Davidson no I would I I think I'm I think I've graduated to like a beloved local ascent like like vacation I like I'm not the king of adopted home they like when I come down ambassador yeah but I don't think that no I don't think that I think they just they it is nice when I'm down there for some my friends down there.

I don't think anybody looks at me like a local.

I'm not getting local discounts.

I'm like the fucking pancakes and shit like that.

But at this point, I try to get down to the keys like two, three times a year.

I just got to retire down there, man.

I wonder how, I mean, I guess it must be far less crowded during the winter, right?

No, the winter is more crowded.

Oh, really?

Yeah, because when I went down there, it was loony getting in and out of there.

I drove in and out.

Well, yeah, the only that one road, you got an accident, like you're fucked.

It's like me trying to get off Staten Island.

Yeah, it's like a hundred-mile road.

Yeah, you're drawn to these places where there's only one road in and one road.

Why fly in, you know?

Yeah, and there's only one road off Staten Island.

It's just that one road that brings you down here.

Yeah.

Once they started direct flights from Newark to the Keys, like I just started going down as much as I can.

It's beautiful.

Good time.

Good times, man.

I

was wondering if you guys saw this.

The you know, Rachel Ray gun,

the breakdancer.

Oh, yes, that's right.

I'm reading that the drama has arguably taken its biggest twist after she returned home.

She touched down in Sydney on the same day she was revealed as the new world number one breakdancer.

Now,

she made worldwide headlines following her divisive performances where I saw her finish second to last.

The only person she beat was somebody who got disqualified.

Okay.

Despite those displays, which resulted in her in failing to register a single point, the World Dance Sport Federation released the latest rankings with her sitting on top of the list.

This doesn't make sense to me.

She was catapulted into the number one world ranking thanks to the thousand points she claimed for winning the Oceana, WDSF Oceana Championship, which booked her a spot in the Olympics.

And then there's four Aussies find themselves on the top eight with her.

But the people who won the Olympics, it says the three women who took home medals in Paris failed to appear on the list with no points offered for for world rankings.

So does this make you take this

World Dance Sport Federation a little less seriously?

Did anybody ever take it seriously to begin with?

I don't know.

I mean, at zero, how much low could you go?

Yeah, they're a federation, so I don't know.

I mean,

it seems official, right?

Yeah, but I mean, before the Olympics, did this federal dance?

Who was acknowledging this?

Who was even

looking at the daily stats?

Well, who's the number one dancer this week?

Who's ranked number one?

And who's the judge?

The picture of her.

It's so great.

Dinosaurs.

So funny, man.

Did you guys hear about Dave Krohl?

I did.

I heard about.

The only reason I even clicked on this story was

because I said to myself, why on earth is he breaking the news?

It's like, why would you break this news?

Are you so desperate for attention that you...

Oh, no, that's not what I got.

I got like, this motherfucker's wife is riding his ball.

Yeah, he got caught.

Yeah, he got caught, man.

So James Rowell had a child at a wedlock.

So I'm going to reveal to the world this because doesn't that even make, doesn't that just make it even more

hard to like there's no way you could keep it quiet.

Like it's going to come out eventually.

So I'm sure his, like, he has got to be

fucking on all fucking, like, high alert with his wife.

He's trying to save his family.

I understand that.

So wouldn't it, wouldn't the smart move to be is like, I don't want this.

Like, I can't imagine like this.

this like if another rock star has a baby out of wedlock does the world even notice

like why on earth bring this to the forefront and make this a big deal like i think on social media well only because it's going to come out eventually i think and when it comes out i think the world goes yawn

i agree but i think i i i think what he did was just like let me just put rip the bandaid off get it out and i don't have to fucking talk about this again i that's what i took public

He's probably a lot of talking about this at home to do.

Yeah, that fucking poor bastard is in hell.

Anytime you see Dave Rowl,

no, that man's in hell now.

For the next month, I saw a picture with him and his wife and his two daughters, and the two daughters did not look happy in the least.

I've heard they closed all their social media accounts.

Yeah.

But yeah.

That seems like overreaction.

I didn't know why, but that's part of it.

Part of his statement was: like, please respect

the family's privacy.

Well, So it's.

Oh, and I clicked on the comments.

It is fucking crazy how the world

is so happy to revel in someone else's misery.

Holy shit, the comments that were being left, I was like, what a miserable fucking society.

I thought he was beloved, too.

He was.

Well, I think that's part of it.

Like, he's known for being like super nice.

And he is a nice guy.

Like, I've never, I don't have, but I know people that have worked with him and they're like, he's the best.

Yeah.

So.

Well, he did just piss off a certain segment of the American population by going after a certain candidate for using their songs in his campaigns.

Maybe that could.

But I swear to God, though, some of the fucking heinish comments being left on there, I was just like, how miserable do you have to be to be this happy that

someone's fucking.

Dude, it's why you never see him on social media anymore.

You never see me on fucking Reddit anymore.

Like, I never do anything because people are just nasty fucking.

They fucking were reveling in this guy's

mistake or whatever you want to call it.

I don't want to call it a downfall because I'm like, who the fuck's not going to buy this next album?

Nobody gives a fuck.

Who's not going to buy the album?

If you're a fan, you're a fan.

I can't imagine this stops you from being a fan.

Yeah, but I think it goes back to what I've always said, which is like, I read that and I was like, no part of me was like, were you, or you, or you?

is like, I got to go online and comment and give this for a shit.

Like, we're just like, it's a shrug.

It's like, oh, man, you he fucked around.

I guess you can only be a rock star for so long before you.

He fucked around, he found out.

Yeah, before you fuck around on your wife.

But, like, he, but the people who were like, I'm going on, and I'm going to make him know exactly how I feel.

And then, and the moralistic, judgmental, fucking glee, it's just like, fuck.

As if anybody other than other commenters are going to see it.

Like, Dave Grohl's not going through that shit.

Oh, I bet you.

Somebody.

His wife might be.

But, like, let's say we're at the concert and Zombie or Alice Cooper chooses that moment to be like, I just, you know, I just want to let everybody know I just had a, I had a baby out of wedlock.

I think people would be like, oh, yeah,

you still got it.

I don't think people are getting up and walking out, though.

So I don't know why he felt, unless he thought it was going to break in People Magazine or something and he wanted to.

That's entirely possible.

That's entirely possible that he knew it was going to come out.

So he's like, let me just, before all these outlets get it.

I don't know.

I guess I live in a world where this to me isn't newsworthy.

He's not that big of a deal in the grand.

He's not that big of a pop culture figure that he needs to get in front of this.

And he's not somebody we rely on.

It's not like it's a politician where you have to be like, oh, well, his scruples are fucking out at all times.

He's a fucking rock star.

He's a rock star.

Yeah, like it would be shocking if he didn't have a kid out of wedlock.

Yeah.

There it is.

So a new baby dwarf.

So this just happened then.

It wasn't like it was.

God, the kids.

No, it wasn't in hiding, like the kid is now 10 or something.

Right.

Oh, when he got that call.

Oh, brother.

I feel for you, Dave Girl.

You get that call.

Like, I'm pregnant and I'm keeping it.

It's like, oh, mother.

Fucker.

Why?

Why did I?

All I had to do is not

do that.

And I could have been fucking fine.

Yeah.

I mean, that guy's in fucking jail.

One of the guys

that I was down in QS with his wife just looked in his phone and found pictures of some girl had sent them and and he was telling me about it and he was like he's like it's been he didn't I didn't know about it.

He just told me about it and he was like, it's been a year and a half.

He goes and he's like

she she is I have to like basically hand over my phone when I come in and she tracks where I am all the time.

And I was like, bud, I was like, oh, wow.

And he's like, I care about her.

He's like, what are you going to do?

I'm going to try and fix it.

It's just crazy.

But he was talking about.

So you guys don't want to let your significant others track you?

I mean, it never occurred to me to be tracked.

Mary Beth.

Mary Beth does.

She's like, wait, he's in the living room now.

He moved into the kitchen.

It's like an alien.

He's outside.

He's outside the walls.

Oh, no,

I've been tracked since, you know, day one.

But that's probably more of a safety thing than a kid.

But we have the family tracking plan.

Yeah.

Pam has that.

For some reason, you know, if you, yeah, like, I, you know, I wanted to give the codes to get him, but he doesn't have an updated phone that, you know, so he doesn't have to track me via fucking the ship.

Yeah.

Just track the phone.

But

I don't think his phone would handle the app, though.

Pam tracks Eric,

the kid that Eric raised.

You know,

that's crazy.

Eric's new girlfriend.

And then one other.

How on earth did she get the coordinates for his new girlfriend?

No, he must have given them for some reason.

But she'll sit there at home and she's like, Look, Ethan just got in his car.

And like, there's a little, like, an image of a little car driving down the highway and shit.

And I'm just like, Yeah, no, yeah.

I try so hard to not go on those things and fun follow where my daughters are because it could just fucking

go,

what's going on?

It's fucking 12 a.m.

What are they doing out

at a bar?

At 11 on a Saturday?

Yeah, so the guy, your friend, like,

what hoops has he had to jump through to try to make the shit crazy thing?

Is

he has agreed to and has been

going to church every Sunday.

Oh, yeah, he had to go to confession.

Was she, now, was the missus religious before this, or did she was like, no, we're going to church now

To beat this out of you.

I think it got kicked into high gear a little bit.

Because he was down there.

He was down there.

She wasn't there with us.

Oh, how did he manage that?

How did he swing that?

I don't know.

I do know, but I can't say.

It's one of those things.

But motherfucker, he got up early Sunday morning, went to church.

Did he really?

Even without the wife?

Because he was like, she'll look on the phone and see him out of fucking church.

So it's like, oh, man.

You just park in the parking lot and go to sleep in the back.

Go to church, hide your phone under the altar for an hour.

Go have a drink.

Yeah, like I did with my duffel bag.

I got another buddy who got cute.

He got fucked.

He had an Apple Watch and the phone, and she tracked them both.

He didn't know that.

He left his phone in the room, went to a strip club with his buddies, and she fucking, she looked at that.

That's

there, Derek.

You can't, that's it.

You can't trust them anymore.

Still together.

That's it.

I'm sorry.

Strike two.

There is no chance for strike three.

Well, this was a different friend.

Oh, it was a different friend.

This is a different friend.

I got dogs all around.

Oh, God.

I forgot.

This is a fun.

It's not a great story, but on the boat,

they did this game show with couples.

Okay.

And they were asking to come up on board.

They asked, who's been married for 20 years, 30 years?

And they had somebody who was

all the way up to the 50, who's been married for 50 years.

And they're like, they've been married 60 years.

And there was some applause.

70?

And there was one applause, one couple applauding for 70 years.

What's that like?

And they had them come up and play.

And so it took a while for them to get up on the stage.

And they, they,

they may never get off the boat.

Every minute they have is maybe the last minute on the planet.

They're that old.

And they were playing against a couple that was married 25 years and a couple that just got married

a couple months ago.

Okay.

And of course, all the questions are going to be a little risque.

Sure, it's how you make everybody laugh.

You're right.

Yeah.

You know, you want, you want the.

So one of the ones was, what's the weirdest place you ever made sweet love?

I've yet to start.

Sweet love, you say.

And like, so they're the last couple that's going to answer.

So they have to go after the newlyweds who are like, you know, we pulled over and did it by the side of a corn stand that was selling corn on a road stand.

Sure.

And they went inside the stand that was empty and did it in there.

Okay.

Another couple was like,

I can't even remember.

Like, it wasn't that crazy, though.

So they get to the fucking Methuselah couple.

Yeah.

And first off, she's all she's talking about, every answer has to do with God.

She's like, you know, like, why they've been able to maintain this marriage.

She was like, this is why you brought it up when you said the church.

Yeah.

Because every single answer, she chalked it up to like, God's the reason that their marriage is still.

She's expecting to meet him soon.

So she's like, all glory to God, man.

I want this guy happy, but it seems we've worked through those brilliant meets.

So she was saying, like, he's a good Christian.

And all they kept saying was they were good Christians.

So what possibly are they going to say, you think, when they have to answer this question?

A couple who've been married since the 20s, it feels like.

Like a barn.

It sounds like.

You know, a cornfield or something like that.

It was

both

hilarious and gross.

When the lady goes because the man couldn't answer any of the questions because he couldn't hear anything.

So somebody had to take down his answers, and then she had to read them.

It's a long, convoluted story, worse than what Giddam was talking about with the security guard.

All I'll say is the lady reveals, this good Christian who spent the whole fucking game show talking about Christianity and everything, for the fucking a few fucking yucks,

reveals that her husband took her on a pool table and yo,

and that was her go-to place place was the pool table.

Really?

And I'm just...

In their home or like a local home?

And they still, whenever they see a pool table,

you know, they make jokes about like, hey,

you want to give the pool table a shot?

Oh, I kind of like this.

But I'm like,

it's still like you're looking at two fucking pieces of dust.

Yeah.

You know, with thinking of them doing that.

Yeah.

It just didn't have the same like.

titillation as the

as the other couples though.

You had to see them 50 years ago, though.

Yeah, maybe.

But

it just blew my mind that the whole time they're talking about, you know,

God, God, God.

And then

they just get caught up in the moment that they'll reveal something

intimate.

Like, their family had to be on.

I'm telling you right now, if I took the family cruise, I would have enough sense to not get caught up in the game show on a fucking cruise to embarrass my daughters and everybody else in my family to be like a kid.

Oh, they were with family?

They had to be.

Right.

They had had to be.

They could not have been.

They could have done it on their own.

They couldn't have gotten anywhere on their own.

They were that decrepit.

And a pool table is generally like, hey, man, you remember that slut that got fucked in the pool table?

In front of a bunch of guys?

That's usually where the pool table comes in.

In fact, every real pool story sex I've in my life, I've heard like two or three of them, have usually been involved with people, other people like watching.

It's 50%.

It's true.

I know a girl started dating a Hell's Angel, and she's like, yeah, you would fuck me on the pool table in front of

the gang?

In front of the gang, yeah, yeah.

Wow.

Well, you know what?

She didn't say that, this lady.

I think this one was, there was no viewers.

Didn't look like a gang.

I mean, I like it.

They won the competition, though.

Yeah, the crowd went crazy when she revealed that.

I was just like, why?

This is like the Dave Grohl thing.

You don't have to fucking reveal this.

You could have said, you just could have made something up.

You didn't have to reveal this for the sake of a fucking million strangers on a boat.

I will say though, the Dave Grohl thing, he wouldn't have done unless it made sense to him.

It's got to be his fucking for everything he's doing now is exactly what his wife tells him to.

Every single fucking thing.

So he's going to church.

Yeah,

there's some reason that ended up from that fucking kitchen table to that post.

He's doing anything to keep him.

Anything.

But a pool table, though.

Sexy.

Is that sexy?

It's

so hard.

Why is it more sexy?

Like, I know a lot of guys would be like, yeah, pool table.

And I'm like, why?

Like, why is that more like

dirty than a bed?

Well, I mean, you know, everybody fucks in a bed.

I know, but, like, all right, why that?

Why is that more dirty than the dining room?

Maybe dirty is not the right word.

Maybe different.

Titillating.

Why is that more titillating?

Because it's not the bed.

It's not like, you know, it's not, we've done it a billion times.

This is where we play billiards.

Yeah.

And I fuck here.

It's like, like, like, I don't get it.

Yeah.

I don't get why that.

There's definitely guys that were like fucking totally like, you know, like pumping their fists and clap.

And I'm like, why is that so much more titillating?

It's just a table.

But it's public.

Nobody expected her to say that.

That's probably why they went crazy because they're like, she leads off with all this God shit and Christian stuff.

And then the very last answer is she's like yeah i spread my legs and get fucked on a pool table and people are like whoa

all right now we talked up my tits

so you don't think it's more i don't know i disagree i think i think guys would be like i did it on a pool table our first time is on a pool table guys would be like i did it anyway right but don't you think it like you did it on a pool table get the fuck out of here on a pool table but why like i don't know if they'd be that fucked up

it definitely sparked my interest I'd be like, really?

A pool table?

If I was like on a date and I was in a bar in a back room and there was a pool table and I fucked a girl on the pool table.

In a bar?

Yeah, that's different, though.

You have a pool table at your home.

I have a pool table, yeah.

So far, nobody's been fucked on it.

But I would imagine at this point, when they were around, pool tables weren't in every house.

Is it a brand new table or did you buy it used?

Not only is it not brand new, it was made in 1928.

Someone's been fucked in that pool.

And it was a lady.

It gets even worse.

It was in Chinatown in Manhattan for 30 years in a Chinese

pool hole.

So for sure.

Miso horny.

Yeah, somebody's been fucking.

Somebody's been fucking on that pool table for sure.

But I hit the felt.

I read it in the felt.

All those stains are gone.

That's so fucking funny.

Yeah.

I've never fucked on a pool table.

Now I kind of want to.

Yeah, I'm not even prompted by that.

I'd be like, it just seems like it's...

Well, it's a very hard surface.

Yeah.

You know?

Oh, you don't think she was just kind of bent over the side?

Oh, maybe bent over as opposed to like legs akimbo.

I mean, I'd rather do it with legs akimbo if I'm going to do it, right?

Yeah.

But go for it.

But it sounds painful.

It does, yeah.

If you got something on the felt,

would you keep it as a side, like as a member of a remembrance?

Carpet cleaner thing for like when the cats like throw up on a carpet and stuff.

You wouldn't want to keep it there.

I'd probably try to silk up the cum.

But you wouldn't be like, guys, see that stayed on the full flavor?

And you're winking.

By saying that to me.

You're playing for me there.

Hey, Jimmy, that's not catharong.

Fuck yeah.

Really?

Get the fuck out of here.

I'll give you $1,000 for it.

Just a felt.

Just the felt.

Oh, man.

I got to get out of here.

I got to pick someone at the airport in a half hour.

All right.

I got to keep it airport.

I got to keep it.

Newark, yeah.

Yeah, you got a fucking trip then.

Yeah, I got a little

40-minute drive.

All right.

Well, I got to read these other two ads.

All right.

Yeah.

Sorry.

I got to go.

Okay.

If it wasn't

fucking horrible fish-ops in the middle.

You better not fuck up.

All right.

You got any cool pool stories?

You must have fucking had some sex in the pool.

No, he's like, but I can tell you about the time I jerked off on a podcasting table

win out

i tell you guys later sorry everybody see you later

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And then I'm going to.

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Yep.

Then I had one question.

Q had to go, so he's not here to answer.

What would the circumstances have to be?

You too, Walt.

What would the circumstances?

Because I've been watching

these body cam compilations.

Okay.

And it's crazy how many people just don't listen to the cops.

Yes.

Like, they just will not listen.

They won't get out of the car.

They won't identify themselves.

They won't do this or that.

And

it's Legion, man.

There's people everywhere.

It's Walmart thieves.

It's people without licenses.

It's all this stuff.

But the one thing that always strikes me is when they go to somebody's house or apartment or hotel room and they answer the door without a shirt on.

Like, what would the circumstances have to be for you to answer any of those doors without a shirt on?

Well, knowing you're probably going to jail.

Like, if they're banging on the door and saying, police, please, I'm going to assume something's important and I'm just going to go.

I might just grab a shirt as I'm going down.

Like, you'd probably catch me in the process of putting one on if I'm shirtless, which is really rare.

Right, me too.

I'm rarely shirtless at the home.

You know, maybe in a, maybe in a hotel room, like you're going swimming or something.

I don't know.

But

this, this guy, he got busted for domestic violence in a hotel room, and he answered the door in just shorts and socks and like no shirt.

And I'm like, you know, you're probably going.

They're probably going to, like, with domestic, with DV stuff, they always take somebody.

Yeah.

Well, they usually have to because now they can, a lot of places now, the police are allowed to press charges.

So, even if the victim doesn't want to press charges, the police can press charges on their behalf.

So, they will at least get the party separated for 24 hours.

Right.

Yeah.

This guy didn't want to go, he got all scraped up because he wasn't wearing a shirt.

Do you wear a shirt at home at all times?

Yeah,

I don't think I do anything without a shirt on.

Yeah, I think that

the only way my shirt is off is if the cops take it off or whatever.

You take it off.

If you tussle or something, it just comes off.

But there's definitely been a change because back in the 80s, 90s, I remember a certain t-shirt was called a wife beater.

Right.

And part of the reason was whenever you turned on cops, when they responded to a domestic violence call, these personnel.

Did you ever sport one?

What, a guinea tea?

Yeah.

No.

How come?

I think I had to wear.

You look good in one.

I think I had to wear one for Jim once.

I had to wear one.

Do you think you would look good in one now?

Yeah.

You think?

I think it'd be a great look for you.

Yeah, I don't think doing his rounds.

Security ring across the front.

I like sleeves.

How come?

I just, I like sleeves.

Sleeves are for losers.

I'm a little bit of a sweater, and I think it, you know, it just, you know, absorbs it.

I don't want it, like, dripping down my side.

Just, yeah.

Yeah, like, wife beaters don't look great if you're not in tip-top shape.

Yeah, if you're like sporting some gut, it doesn't really look well, you don't have to wear a skin-tight one.

But usually, I think also

baggy the wife beats.

Usually people

falling off

like a bra strap sexually falling off his shoulder.

I think also back in the day, they were usually worn as undershirts.

I've never worn an undershirt.

No.

I'm always, I can always.

Never.

Yeah, I'm just one layer.

How come?

Just, I, I'm a little, like I said, I sweat a little.

I'm hot.

So I just always usually go with one layer, unless it's like winter.

So.

Yeah.

But now it's, now it's no shirts.

Now it's no shirts?

Well, domestic violence.

Now it's no shirts, yeah.

Yeah.

What do you think of this?

We've been watching this butterfly and flamingo

conservatory for a long time now.

Webcam?

Yeah, the webcam, do you think it would calm you?

I think if they put the volume up, we're hearing the birds and all.

I just find it shocking how many people are there.

Yeah.

It's heavily

traveled today, and there's a lot of clients, or not clients, but the public are

in force today.

You were talking about didn't you you had a fucking interesting story, didn't you before we turned on the mics?

You were talking about how your the your your priest at your church used to run nude every day.

No, no, no, I was

tell us that story because that's a story that it like blew my mind that he that the

brother at your at your boys' school used to jog nude in the mornings and nobody thought it was weird.

No, it wasn't it wasn't my the priest at my school.

It was there was a priest in New Jersey who for like months, well they didn't know he was a priest.

For months they were getting reports of somebody running naked down the side of like the Gardner State Parkway.

You can't even walk on the Garden State Parkway, let alone Jog.

No, like down south, like on the median, like on the side of the road, where there's where there's like...

Wait, the median, so he'd cross the side.

No, like the side median.

Again, maybe not the median, you know, the side of the road.

You're not allowed to walk around on the parkway.

Well, you're also not supposed to be naked either.

So

he would go, I guess.

So he would pull, he would get...

No, he would leave his house and then jog along the side of the parkway and then cut back and then go back to his house.

And I guess by the time people saw him and called it into 911, the cops could get there.

It would just be early in the morning when it's still dark.

It seemed like it was early in the morning, yeah.

And you told us that his excuse was it just felt like he just felt more relaxed.

From what I remember from the article, he said, like, this is what they used to do, like, back in the seminary.

And

that sounds weird, a bunch of guys running around nude together.

You know, I.

Priests.

I don't know what the seminary is like.

I've never been in one.

But I remember I did have a priest who would tell us how they used to constantly play volleyball in the seminary.

Nude?

Nude?

I don't know if they were nude, but he was European, so I pictured something like in Speedos, so it's pretty much there.

Now,

and it was like to burn off energy.

That is the sport of choice at nudist camps, volleyball.

They love that, right?

They love it.

They love volleyball.

They love to play nude volleyball.

Could you play nude volleyball at a nudist camps?

I can barely play volleyball to begin with.

Let's say, all right, you like to keep score.

Could you keep score of a nude volleyball game without having an interruption?

Ooh.

Who's playing?

Couples?

Mixed couples.

Okay.

I would, at first, no, but I would imagine you eventually get so used to it to get desensitized to it.

So you'd have to keep score nude too.

too, so they would have to.

Yeah, I've got a clipboard.

You wouldn't feel so self-conscious that you, it's not like to me, I feel like it would be so weird.

The last thing I would, I would think would happen would be arousal.

Well, I still get paid for this.

It would be so uncomfortable that there's no way, but I'm assuming I'm getting paid for this.

Like, are we going to do this?

It's just like your volunteer service here as a security guard at the airport plaza, which I hope you're not doing you as well.

Your rounds.

No.

No,

I think eventually you get used to it, though.

So, like, it's not as titillating.

You know why they love volleyball, right?

All the bouncing?

Yeah, everything just fucking bounces crazy when you're playing volleyball.

That must be distracting.

Oh, yeah.

And if you're the scorekeeper, people are going to constantly be looking to you to see if a point counted.

So, like, there's going to be a lot of attention on you, too.

Yeah.

You don't mind.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Have you ever thought about it?

What?

Join us college?

Oh, no, no.

It's not for you.

No.

I won't let you get my shirt off of the podcast.

Well, if you're around other nudes, though, I think it's less.

And you see other people's bodies aren't fucking.

They're not Adonis's.

I get annoyed if I'm wearing pants that don't have pockets because I carry so much stuff on me.

So I can't.

What's going to wear a fanny pack?

Just a vision.

That's what we're going to leave you with here today, people.

But in your mind,

the vision of get him nude with a fanny pack on.

Tell us, Steve, Dave.

That's a week.

That's just going to be in your head for the next week.