#606: Aggressive Relaxation

Hey, it's Walt coming to you from the deck of my cruise ship.

Yep, I'm on the high seas vacationing, but I'm still so excited about this week's Patreon drop.

I just had to take a break to inform you that this Tuesday, September 3rd, TESD Game Night returns.

Let's hear a few hilarious clips from the episode.

Well, it's not the kind of kiss that you're thinking of.

Oh,

what other kind of kiss is there?

It's actually the band kiss.

Oh, I thought you were were about to keep it simple, stupid.

No.

And our second founding.

You wanted to hear about why I'm considered a kiss expert?

Okay.

It's my job to jump the gun.

Oh, man.

Now, can you see why I'm so excited?

So join up now and get in on all the fun.

All right, now I got to get back to cruising.

You guys got to get back to the show.

No, you don't do drugs for a couple years.

Next thing you know,

you're fucking a pussy.

Maybe lose that little fucking kangaroo thing you're doing, or whatever the fuck that is.

We'll take a recess.

Juror number 12, please do not buy any magic beans while you're out at recess.

They're so cheap.

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello and welcome to this week's edition of Tellum Steve Dave.

Hey, Walt.

Hey.

And hey, Q.

Hello.

You're here.

Oh,

not sick?

Looking good?

Feeling good.

Good.

In the middle of a sweltering heat wave.

94 degrees outside at the moment.

I thought it was supposed to be like 80s all week.

When I pulled up, it's like the old thing said like 94.

Yeah.

And then all of a sudden it was in 80s all week.

Yeah, that's all right.

I don't mind.

This is really my first week of summer.

So I'm kind of excited by the enjoy it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Tour's over, shooting's over.

Like, I got time to chill.

Now you're just laying poolside?

Dude,

enforced aggressive relaxation going on right now.

Never have I used the adjective aggressive to describe

relaxing.

I'm getting it.

What is that detail?

It's saying no to every single thing, no matter what it is.

And I've said no to some cool things already.

And even in my own head,

you know, when you calm down a bit, you start getting creative ideas and stuff.

I've just been like, nope, not paying attention to them.

Let them fucking marinate.

Not jotting anything down i'm just shutting off the uh the old brain huh everything oh i'm brain dead one nothing doing nothing for at least two weeks should have come to the master for that i could have given you some tips

it's only been two days and it's been great it's been fucking great yeah it's been pretty wonderful that's a big departure from about a week ago where you were down not not just sick but like down down i get down sometimes the end of a season the end of a tour you know what i mean you think it's like the adrenaline dump like after all that yeah work you're just like whoa i think it's a little bit of that and it's just like it's just so much purpose and

direction and and scheduling and and stuff and like and then it's like it's gone right so it's a little bit of adjustment for me every season but you know a little extra because i think this is the last impractical joker's tour uh

for years like i think this is while the i think this is the last tour certainly while the show is on the air so maybe there'll be like something down the line so that was that you know an extra heavy thing too just being like wow like all this fun on the road with my friends is kind of over for a bit.

Just a little bit.

Yeah, so you know, it was a lot of that going on.

I missed a crew.

Yeah, it's a lot.

But hey, man,

fucking whatever, bro.

Well, I need some tips how to turn it all off and go, Zen.

I'm going

to parting tomorrow.

I'm going to nine-day cruise.

Nine days, I would love to unplug.

Leave me in charge.

I don't know how to unplug.

What?

Leave me in charge.

What's that mean with the dog?

With the dog surrounded by a blazing inferno?

No.

Everything's fine.

Everything else would burn.

I'd take good care of those dogs, though.

No, no, I don't mean the dogs.

But how do you do it?

How do you just unplug?

I find it difficult to do it, to just focus on nothing but.

Well, you don't drink or smoke weed, so right away

you're a little behind on the line right there.

But I would start by shutting off your fucking phone while you're on that cruise.

Like, don't.

Okay.

Don't interact.

Okay, so I should see if I can get a refund on the internet package, which was exorbitant to say the least.

Well, $200 for internet on a fucking cruise.

And it sucks, too, usually.

It's like pretty horrible, man.

Yeah, you know, I wouldn't.

I mean, you have family and stuff, so it's probably good to have.

Okay, yeah, you're right.

Yeah, but I would say if the name get him comes up, you just

let it go.

I can't, though, because I because I have to know why he's texting me at two o'clock in the morning.

And then inevitably, it's always just like, there's a bum sleeping on the couch in the hallway.

What should I do?

Well, maybe get him.

It's on you to not leave him alone.

You know what I mean?

Like, leave the guy alone.

Walter, the bump.

Like, I can't have her up talking to you about fucking the internet.

I don't want to get him talking to Walter about anything.

About fucking anything.

Got to keep my guys going.

I'm going on a little cruise myself.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah.

Very little.

It's on the, what's it called?

The

sea streak, yeah.

For some reason.

So Edgar has gotten sick recently, and I think he's wanting to do stuff with the family and get together and that kind of shit, you know, without going into too much detail.

So one of the things he wants to do is go on the sea streak for a dinner cruise.

So I'm like, all right, I don't normally fare well in the water anyway.

Like on smaller boats, I get seasick pretty easily.

But he wants to go, so I'm like, fuck it, I'll get one of those patches.

I'll put it on.

Then I come to find out there is no real dinner cruise, you have to bring your own food.

That could still work, could still work.

Last week we were talking about this: a sea, a sea picnic.

Oh, yeah, like lashing our boat, our jet skis together.

Maybe, like, you transpose that idea on this.

Would you be the hit of the cruise, this little mini cruise, if you show up with a KFC bucket right across the street from the general store, you know, a couple of buckets underneath your arm?

Yeah, and everybody's like, whoa,

he's the man

And haters and Coleslaw, the works.

Could do it.

Could do it.

Although they're like, you're not allowed to bring a hard cooler.

It has to be a soft cooler.

And then, like, last night there was a Johnson family text chain that was.

Bucket, bro.

There's no bucket law.

Yeah.

You're right.

You're right.

Well, what if you

took the idea that he wants to do?

Right.

Which is go on a boat with his family and like step up and like get a private boat with a dinner and stuff like that.

Pick that up for your family.

How much

effort?

Yeah, I know.

And all of a sudden, John's now getting his own fucking personal captain.

I'm sure it's just an internet search, and like suddenly you guys are.

I'm laying out thousands.

I know.

Yeah.

This is dad.

I was going a little, you know, a little bit cheaper mode with a little KFC bucket.

I think it's $15.99 for three buckets now.

I think I like your family plan.

I like the family plan Walt's talking about.

You're talking about $3,000 just for a cabinet alone.

Yeah.

Not even use of the crew or the.

Think about like the private time with your family, nobody bothering you.

You don't have to worry about other families in the way.

That's a complete

hypocritical statement right there.

I'm with my family and nobody's bothering me.

How could that happen?

Yeah.

Yeah, because you probably, a lot of strangers will walk up to you and be like, hey, man, can I get a piece of that chicken?

Yeah, yeah.

Like, see us.

So you have a soft cooler and a bucket.

Yeah, so that's what I'm doing this weekend.

And there was a Johnson family

text chain yesterday that was started by Eric.

He was like, well, what if it rains?

Eric's in town?

Eric just got in town.

Yeah.

Nice.

Nice.

Yeah, I was actually going to, I didn't know that you were setting sail tomorrow.

Otherwise, I would have suggested a hasty game night.

Oh, that would have been awesome.

Yeah, but yeah, but just got here.

Can you guys maybe hire that fucking private boat with your private captain and maybe rendezvous with me at one of my ports?

Oh, you gotta do it quick.

That's not shutting off.

No.

You gotta say no.

A quick game night?

You're out on the boat anyway.

Yeah.

I could just get on a bigger boat.

That would actually work for me.

Even on the bigger boat last time, this last IJ cruise, I forgot my little patches.

Yeah.

And somebody gave me

the what's it called?

Acid.

Yeah, I was just tripping.

My balls.

Balls off.

Um, no, the uh,

what's that, what's that stuff called?

The anti-sea signal.

Dramamine, yeah, dramamine.

And I thought I wasn't going to make it for the rest of the cruise.

I was so tired.

It just made me so tired.

Oh, man,

you have, I thought you had

built up a tolerance to almost all drugs.

So did I.

I thought I had some kind of constitutional.

I thought you were lightweight all of a sudden.

No, you don't do drugs for a couple of years.

Next thing you know,

you're fucking a pussy.

yeah.

Um, I was wondering, do you guys think that uh, I don't really have a whole lot this week?

I didn't do anything except, well, we did go to Whiskey Meyers.

That's right.

Oh, yeah, how was I?

I was thinking about you guys

partied on the bus, bro.

Really?

Yes, oh shit.

All accesses included the tour bus.

Oh, no, that sounds like my type of party.

It was, it was offered a stramamine, yeah, yeah,

I'm off that shit.

That looked like a nice crowd, man.

Yeah.

Yeah, that was cool.

It was awesome.

And these guys really fucking rock.

There was no slow songs, baby.

Okay.

It was all fast rocking.

They're like all southern rocking.

I've made it a point to say that I normally do not like to go to see bands I don't know.

I like to hear songs that I know.

I didn't feel that way about these guys.

Yeah, sometimes it's just so driving and so fucking undeniable.

You can't see it.

It was really, yeah, I would really recommend anybody to check him out.

If you like Southern Rock, yeah, definitely check him out.

So who is the aunt in the band?

Jamie,

right?

Jamie, yeah, Jamie.

He is.

He's sleeves.

He's a basis.

He's a basis.

Okay, all right.

So he probably doesn't have that much power in the band.

Why do you say that?

Gene's the basis in kissing, man.

He's got the fucking iron fist.

I guess, but that seems like the outlier.

It seems like, isn't it?

Paul McCartney was the bassist.

Kenny Lee.

Yeah.

All right, okay.

Maybe I'm wrong.

I've always heard that the joke is like, who's that guy hanging around with the band?

The

I was going to say, like, maybe he could do like a Telemsteep Dave song or something.

That'll really get the ants to their concerts.

Like, if they drop a reference in, you know, they don't have to make it about the podcast.

Well, he did have a shirt on.

He did a TSD shirt on.

Yeah.

He wore it on stage.

Can you get it to the lead singer?

Because that's where we start really cooking.

Why is it that the crowd only focuses on the lead singer?

I mean, it's

not saying anything new.

Yeah.

I mean, this has been going on since Elvis.

Sure.

It's everybody else is faceless except the singer.

How come?

I mean, he's front and center, you know, singing, singing his heart out, performing it like out.

You know, bass has kind of got to stand there and like something, you know, the wild man can go anywhere he wants on stage and go all over.

That's what he sells posters.

But,

yeah.

Yeah, so we went there.

First we went out to dinner, and

I couldn't believe

that they sell beer.

They sell what's called a beer bong.

Have you ever seen one of these?

I mean, if it was what it used to be, is it like the tall tube?

Yes.

Yeah, yeah.

A tall tube with a little spigot at the end of it.

Yeah, I've heard that they never really clean those things out as good as they're supposed to.

How could you?

The thing is like fucking four feet long.

I've had people been like, don't get the beer bongs.

It's like there's like old beer in the lines and stuff.

Yeah, somebody who's.

Not that that would stop me if I was rolling.

Somebody in our party.

Somebody in our party got it.

It wasn't me.

It wasn't Rupp.

It wasn't Walt.

Was get him.

Yeah.

For himself?

For himself, 50 ounces of beer.

Now, as a beer drinker, does that sound like a lot to you?

Because it looked like a lot to us.

It sounds like a lot to me.

Consumed within a half hour.

Holy fuck.

Well,

how many ounces is your average bottle of beer?

12.

12?

Okay.

It's 4.

It's not too bad.

Four beers.

A half hour is a little fast, but I could see somebody

an hour.

He might have milked it a little bit more if we weren't on a time crunch.

Yeah.

It's notable, but I don't think outrageous.

Well, I think he also drank that much so he didn't go to DT's on the way to the concert.

It's a lot.

It's a lot.

Well, I think he was still drinking even when he got to the show, right?

Because they were offering him some beers.

You can't say no to free beer.

No.

No.

Not when you get him.

He was dancing.

He was scoping out for groupies, which really was.

I'm sorry at a Whiskey Myers.

Concert seems to be a lost cause.

Really?

A lot of dudes?

A lot of dudes.

Usually the women appeared to be with dudes.

And it was, you know, like Walt said, we got on the bus.

It was the most groupie-free bus I think

I've ever seen.

Well, you've been on my bus.

There's no groupies out there either.

How many buses have you been on that you could say you're like, oh, wow, this bus bus had groupies?

Well, I've been on Q's bus.

I've been our Southwest.

Bruce Campbell's bus was no groupies.

So you've never been on a bus with groupies?

No.

You can't have.

Remember years ago, over 10 years ago,

we were told you can't, the one rule really is you can't have girls on the bus.

Really?

Yeah, Monster Magnet told us that.

No shitting on the bus, and you don't like girls on the bus because you can't get them off the bus.

Really?

And then

problems start.

Yeah.

More groupies, more problems.

Yeah, it appears to be the way.

But yeah, but get them with scoping it out.

Couldn't find any.

Okay.

And they told me they were like, Yeah, it's been a good long time.

They're all married or have girlfriends or something.

I think when you're hanging around with like older guys in a band, it's like, oh, that shit's behind them.

Well, it wouldn't be if it wasn't for social media.

Like, you know,

yeah,

if their wives and girlfriends weren't finding out,

believe me, they'd be rock and roll all the way.

Now they could fucking look you up, look up your Instagram, find your fucking girl, direct messenger,

forget about it.

Social media ruined everything.

Everything.

It really did, dude.

It ruined this country.

It ruined everything.

I don't know what it's good for.

Except for promoting jokers, I guess.

There you go.

I see plenty of that on Instagram.

Sure do.

Cat photos?

Yeah, cat photos.

But yeah, I think social media just took the fun out of everything.

Yeah.

Bummer.

What can you do?

Did you see,

I know you were very excited to see Oasis announce to getting back together after 15 years.

I saw a lot of people that were excited.

Yeah.

Way back when you were calling me gay in a parking garage for defending my Oasis CD.

I was, yeah.

I was like, what is this shit?

Like, did this come with the car?

I had no, oh, I didn't know you were a big Oasis.

Yeah, Low Oasis.

Okay.

I just saw

Liam in

the UK.

Is that, Oh, no.

You know what I was thinking of?

So are they just like Coldplay?

Just another version of Cold Play?

No, no, they're not.

They're a little bit more

street-level.

Wow.

Okay.

Okay, because they fight with each other.

Yeah,

they're from Northern England.

They're a little bit, you know, this kind of, you know, when they first started, they were kind of, you know, Manchester street guys.

Yeah.

Okay.

And anybody I know that knows them says one thing.

One of them is a big dickhead, but they're both like

they're in touch with their, they never lost lost touch with those

those roots okay and they uh

who knows how much i don't know so you're you're excited for this upcoming tour you're gonna be there i am i am an oasis fan yeah i'm excited i would you know i'm not like uh i never had posts of them on the wall right now i have an oasis tattoo like i don't want to make it right now there's an oasis fan out there like you know sizing me up and I'll tell you right now, you win.

But I do like them, you know what I mean?

And I'm excited to see them.

When I was in Scotland, we were doing a panel and there was a guy with an Oasis shirt, and I

made a little remark about it.

And you could tell this guy was like, I couldn't have said too much.

Oh, in the UK, it's different.

No, it's like a cult over there.

He would have been collecting my teeth from every corner of the room.

What's their big song?

Wonder Wall.

It's probably like their biggest.

Okay.

Champagne Supernova?

Champagne Supernova.

Don't look back in anger.

Yeah, there's a bunch that you would know if you lived through that period in the 90s.

The 90s, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm excited.

Yeah,

I saw that.

And my first thought was you and that CD that I was worried about getting stolen

in Pittsburgh.

Yeah, I was talking to somebody the other day about all these Kias getting stolen, and it reminded me, we may have talked about it already, but when Sal had that hoopedy piece of shit car that he used to drive down to Jersey.

He would put the club on.

And he would put the club on, yeah.

Like in suburban Jersey at a Perkins.

Yeah, yeah.

But like without fail every time.

The beautiful thing about Sal is like at first he wasn't doing that for effect.

Like it was only when his friends started ripping on him that he started doing it for effect.

But like at first it was a genuine thing.

Yeah.

I was wondering, do you think

people were too hard on Ray Gunn, the Australian Olympic dancer, the breakdancer?

Because now I'm reading just recently that

her feelings are hurt.

She's feeling pretty bad about everybody making fun of her.

I didn't see

what everybody's talking about.

I heard it's like really weird, the breakdancing moves.

I think it was just very

pedestrian, very clunky, not Olympic-worthy.

Oh, wait, I saw like a gif of it

where she was like folded out.

I mean, it didn't look like breakdancing moves.

It really didn't.

She said she has like a PhD or a doctorate in like cultural awareness or

cultural movement.

Well, it's a fucking dance that's going to get started in Brooklyn in the 80s with the fucking Australians.

I don't know.

I don't know what she would know about it, but I did think that if you're going to put yourself out on the board, I wouldn't go out on the world stage really for any reason.

Yeah.

Because I don't have any skill that's worth being on the world stage.

That's not true.

You don't think so?

Maybe not in the Olympics, but.

Okay.

I might have got something else.

Yeah.

But it's not breakdancing.

And it's not the Olympics.

No.

They've dropped it already, right?

They're not doing it.

Yeah, they're not going to do it anymore.

How do they even make it into it?

Like, are there other dances that

made it to the world?

ribbon dances?

Like, you know, they do those ribbons and shit.

Oh, yeah.

It's not the same, I know.

Well, it is.

It is the same.

And I'm just like, even that, I'm just like, how is that an Olympic-level sport?

Like, running around with a ribbon?

Well, I guess it's the jumping and the form and the

flips and all that other shit they do.

But they didn't do the tango as an Olympic competition or

the macarena or you know

I would like to see the macarena as an Olympic competition.

I would

yeah, I mean when there's other sports that are much more worthy that have never been Olympic sports, I don't see how you can make breakdancing an event.

Like if you don't have football in there,

which is mind-boggling that you have the most why don't they have football?

I think it's too American, but you know, Canada's been playing football for decades.

Well, isn't basketball like basketball is a major thing.

But isn't that like an American thing?

Right, but now other countries have real - I mean, they give America all they can handle

because they've

but that's how other countries get better at American football, though, by

turning it into Olympic sport.

Yeah,

I saw one team, I think, I think it was the Chinese team, it was a lady, she's like, Yeah, there she is, there's Ray Gun.

She was like seven foot eight or something like that, And it's just like all these really little, I mean, they're Asian, so they're pitsy in nature.

And then you got this seven foot eight

woman who's just like, they're just throwing it to her.

And she's just taking the ball and basically like just laying it in.

Okay.

It's like just putting it in every single time.

And it's just like, what are you supposed to do?

Like as an Olympic team, you're just like, fuck.

I'm fucked.

You got to get that ball stolen before they can get that pass into her.

Yeah.

I mean, that's what you got to focus on.

I mean, that's your only hope.

The only thing you can do.

It's try to pressure them so much, coming up

once they inbound a bunch of them.

Full court press every time.

Yeah, you just do everything in your power to not let them have an easy lob into her.

All right, now we're watching a regular guy.

It says Ray Gun Ruins, fantastic, awesome effort.

That is impressive, though.

Like the amount of arm strength and wrist strength and coordination.

Guys spinning on their heads, guys spinning on one hand.

And that appears to be what we're looking at here is a breakdancing competition, which is not the Olympics, right?

It's just yeah, that's all right.

Now, there's Ray Gunn, Ray Gunn.

She looks pretty confident in that one photo.

She looks confident in a lot of photos.

It's misplaced, I believe.

Yeah.

Now we're looking at a picture of her kicked way back with one foot up and her hair.

She's upset that people are kind of dunking on her.

I think so.

I think it's run its course for her.

I think she's like, all right, all right.

Yeah.

I mean, look,

it looks weird.

And, you know, what do you think was going to.

Okay, here you go.

Okay, so now we're watching it.

We're watching it.

It doesn't look like break dancing to me.

No.

And what do I know?

I don't have a disagreement.

Do you

think in any way, shape, or form, she had any inkling the night before she does her act or her performance that it's going to go

viral and that the whole world is going to be ridiculing it.

I think she's going to fall under the radar.

Nobody gives a crap about break dancing in the Olympics.

I just got a free trip to wherever that was, Paris.

Yeah.

And,

you know, I'm going to go do my act, but I'm not going to win a medal, but I'm certainly not going to be the focus of the entire internet for months.

Right, right, yeah.

I can't say that.

And also, like, I made it.

Like, the Australian government had enough confidence in me to send me to the Olympics to represent them.

Yeah, blame Australia if you don't like that.

It really is Australia.

That's the best I got, Aussie.

You know, don't blame her.

It just doesn't.

She thinks she's Australia's top breakdancer?

How else did she get the gig?

How else was she sent?

I don't know who she knew, whose niece she might be.

She's doing some breakdancing moves.

It's not like everything's a fucking disaster.

No, but when she's doing her spinning moves on the ground and stuff, it's pretty lame, yeah.

Wow.

What are we going to do?

She's got no friends.

Because a friend would have been like, I don't know, Ray Gunn.

Yeah.

Maybe lose that little fucking fucking kangaroo thing you're doing or whatever the fuck that is.

But, you know, what do I?

Look the kangaroo thing.

That's her signature move in Australia.

Yeah, I guess you're right.

Yeah.

I guess you're right.

I don't know.

That represents her home country.

Yeah.

Kangaroo step.

I guess.

Well,

I guess the world is wrong and Ray Gunn's right.

You know?

Yep.

Fuck it.

Look, man, I made Jokers Wild.

I had to live with that.

I didn't like Jokers.

Yeah, I like Jokers Wild.

I just say that for the joke.

Yeah, well, I think they just don't want to see the Jokers

in a different sort of context.

Yeah, I think so.

And also,

I don't know.

You know, we didn't really have the budget or the fucking, they cut our best sketches because they were controversial.

In retrospect, you're like, oh, yeah, knowing what was coming down the pike.

They did the right thing.

Yeah, I'm like, it's probably good that they buried some of them.

Yeah.

I had a story if

you guys want to talk about it.

Somebody on the internet either

tweeted me it or emailed me it, but I thought it was interesting.

Once get your guys' thoughts on it, but it's confirmation that reincarnation exists.

Nice.

So I have four ads today.

So do you want me to read a couple ads and get into the story?

Let's do a little

teasing what this story is going to be after one of the ads.

All right.

Reincarnation and confirmation that this is not all there is and that we will

be back

after this ad.

Incognito mode.

We all know about incognito mode on your laptop or your computer.

There's an incognito mode?

Yeah, so

they're not tracking your history and stuff like that.

Who's that?

I guess,

who would that be?

Who would be tracking?

The beast.

Okay.

Government.

The government.

Oh, please.

Facebook.

Advertisers.

I was telling Giddam the other day about his love and his affection for the government is fucking sickening.

Is it really?

I wasn't aware of it.

Oh, my God.

Uncle Sam could shit in his mouth and call it fucking chocolate and Giddam would be like, best fucking chocolate I ever had, boss.

Oh, no, he's one of that.

Oh, my God.

It doesn't matter what fucking regime is in.

If the government tells him it's true, hook, line, and sinker, he buys it and fucking, and it's gospel.

Even my mom isn't like that.

She's almost 80.

She was born and bred to believe in the government.

Everything they're telling you is true.

Even she doesn't feel that way anymore.

Get him up.

There is no tinfoil in his wardrobe.

He believes everything that comes down to Pike that the government issues.

Any statement,

any press release,

it's got to be true.

They've never lied to me.

It's got to be a safe feeling.

The government loves you that much and is always looking out for you and always tells you the truth.

What a lovely feeling.

Somebody has to love me.

The government is made up of people.

And you trust people that much?

If they love me, yes.

But why do you think anybody loves you?

Because they're looking out for me.

They're looking out for me.

Yeah, you and everybody else.

Yeah.

So they just love everybody?

Yeah.

So your opinion of the United States government is they just love everybody?

They only do things for the best interest of the people.

These people.

This is why people don't want them to talk.

But this is honest reaction.

This is honestly what I deal with.

He's telling me, and I'm telling him, I'm like, dude, they don't give a fuck about you.

And he is just like

giving me all these instances why I'm wrong and why the government does look out for us and everything is in our best interest.

It's like I've never met a person that wasn't on some level like out for themselves.

You know what I mean?

It's like, but you think that they are existing and they're working the government.

They transcend that.

Yeah.

Okay.

And he's not about a political party.

It's not because he's.

This was under Trump.

This is under Biden.

This was under.

No matter who's in charge, they love him.

Yes.

If he gets the message

from the government of what to do or what not to do, you could bet he's fucking following it lock, stock, and barrel.

But didn't they put out like

doesn't the government put out like health,

you know, like how to eat, how not to drink, how to stay in shape?

Doesn't the government put out all sorts of like personal health info that they think that you should be doing?

That get him does not appear to fucking he's drinking gear bongs.

I don't think that that's in fucking the government's like I

defy you.

He's not watching C-SPAN 24-7.

He's just getting

the most, you know, he's just getting his news on little tidbits on Twitter or something.

But he's not, he's talking about the big information.

So if I said, well, I mean, what do you mean?

They love you, they don't.

So they love you.

So I'll just forward you all the health recommendations from the U.S.

government, and I just expect you'll follow them?

Not necessarily, but but I know they're looking out for me.

That's why they're putting those out.

That's the big point they're looking out for.

He told he said one of the you know, he was he said that

Big Brother was looking out for him during the pandemic by keeping the liquor stores open so that he wouldn't have the fucking shakes and go into a fucking

coma without his beer.

And what going on?

Because I was kind of mad that they kept the liquor stores open and he fucking put his finger right in my face and fucking told me how wrong I was.

And how do you want the hospitals full of all people who need that alcohol every night?

Yeah.

No, I want to know, like, what's going on that all these people need this much alcohol every night?

Well, you know why.

I mean, are there that many hardcore alcoholics out there that like...

Oh, yeah.

What?

Really?

Like, I know there's a lot of liquor store in every corner of every nation.

I just thought it was like casual drinkers.

I don't know really any hardcore drinkers except for Gidem.

Q sometimes.

Yeah, I think that there is a major alcohol problem in America.

Even people who say they just casually drink, I mean, they need it.

Yeah.

And it would be, yeah,

shit would have been 10 times worse, according to Gidem, if they had closed all the liquor stores.

People would have been losing their fucking mind.

Even breaking into the liquor stores.

You know, my mom and sister just recently were true.

They figured out that you can get this stuff called Proseco.

It's like a champagne or a wine or something off of Instacart.

They spent hours figuring it out.

That's how badly they didn't want to just go out and get the wine and have it delivered to them.

During the pandemic?

Yeah, not during the pandemic.

This is recently recently.

Yeah.

They need to spend hours figuring out how to get wine they like instead of just going to a store?

Instead of just going downtown.

I don't know why.

Isn't there a liquor store?

Like she could spit and hit a liquor store in Highlands?

If they were like, hey, let's take a healthy 10-minute walk.

To get our what?

To get our sangria?

To get our wine.

Yeah, we're Proseco.

Proseco.

Proseco.

Yeah, that's their drink.

You say you don't know anybody besides Giddam who needs it barely?

It'll have been my mother and sister.

So far, that's who I got.

Yeah,

I just wouldn't have imagined

that the government would be like, hey, we got so many alcoholics out there that if we close down the liquor stores, it's going to be a problem.

You get them, isn't that the case?

Yeah.

That's why they did it, right?

Wow.

Some hospitals will actually prescribe alcohol if like a patient's going in for surgery and they won't be able to drink

while they're there.

So they don't go through TTs.

Wow.

Which can actually kill you.

Yeah.

That's a nasty withdrawal from alcohol.

It's impossible, though.

For me, I don't know why.

I just don't have the

makeup to believe the government at this point.

It just feels like

they had their chance.

Yeah.

They had their chance.

And the list of things that they fucked up is pretty extensive.

I'm sorry.

Yeah, it's just white noise now

when a politician is talking.

I think so.

Nobody gives really a fuck, do they?

I think people do give a fuck.

I think that,

you know.

Well, there are definitely two teams.

If you're not on a team, then you don't give a fuck.

But each of those teams really give a fuck about their

candidates.

But then there's people who realize there's only one team.

There's only one team.

There ain't two teams.

It's all the same.

It's all the same shit.

It's all the same shit.

Told by a different fucking set of fat lion lips just telling you.

Yep.

That's all it is.

Yeah, probably.

It may be cynical.

A little bit.

But realist.

Now.

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Cute.

It's unusual that

they would make a point

to

hit, keep it a secret from your parents.

That means that this is being peddled to a child then?

No.

To hide their...

Well, why what other...

I mean, I'm sorry.

I don't care what my mom thinks about my internet history.

Right, but like, like, let's say you're a teen boy.

That's a child.

Well, you know.

And you're trying to

keep your before

your parents.

Well, a lot of kids still live with their parents through their 20s, you know?

Is their parents

checking up on their browsing system?

So I doubt it.

Yeah, I can see some parents doing that.

Really?

Yeah.

Does your dad

take a look at your Internet browsing history?

No, and I definitely don't want to look at his.

Didn't you tell me that you have to clean it up sometimes?

Yeah, because

he's

like father, like son.

Let's not give out any info on your dad.

He's just looking for gals about 50 years older than you're looking at.

Gilfs.

Now,

his boss got hit by one of those things where it goes, where it copied

his contact history and then sends out emails like, hey, look at these photos of us from like 20 years ago.

And he clicks on the link and it just instantly, like, the whole screen just explodes with pop-ups for porno and just crap.

Good cover.

It's what happens.

Did him, you got to tell your dad to get ExpressVPN.

Yeah, you got to use that, especially because all you have to do is press one button.

Yeah, yeah.

It'll hide his IP address, making it extremely difficult for third parties to track his online activity.

And this is a case.

This is a case that he could use ExpressVPN and

not have to worry about you coming in and sweeping up his dirtiness.

Yeah, yeah.

All right.

It's always awkward when your son's got to come in and clean up the mess that's on your computer.

Yes, yeah.

I was lucky I never really had that issue.

You'll never have to worry about it.

But there's some out there

who are listening right now.

At some point, their children are going to be like, oh my God.

I did.

The girl I was dating in high school, her father got a porn tape stuck in the VCR.

Oh, no.

And he asked for my help getting it out.

And I was like, oh, I don't want to be involved in this.

What could I do?

I had to help the guy.

I was fucking his daughter.

I had to do some help.

Did he ask you not to tell the oh, yeah, it was a top secret operation.

That's that's very and it was African-themed to the porn.

Really?

Oh, wow.

Like, I remember the label had, like, I mean, you got to remember, this is the 90s.

It would have like a cheetah print with a bone on it.

you know and I was like okay

but think how desperate he was like and he was like please don't tell the family did you keep it did you

kept it even from the girl yeah yeah that's solid yeah yeah I got it solid at least at least now you waited 30 years to tell about it he's been 10 at least 10 years so I think it's okay yeah and that's the kind of secrecy you can get from Express VPN

but that is like that's a man that's at his lit on his like please you got to help me get this out before yeah before my daughter sees it.

He didn't go that deep into it.

He was like, he more was like, I need help getting this out.

And then we just didn't mention what the tape was.

But it was crazy because

he was kind of like a racist dude.

And

it was a surprising choice of forms.

To see the genre.

Yeah, to see the genre.

Yeah.

Anyway, protect your online privacy today by visiting expressvpn.com slash t-esd.

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Now, what do we got next?

I mean, the only other thing he could have done was just he would just have to throw away the VCR.

Throw away the VCR, yeah.

Yeah, and be like, it broke.

Yeah, maybe he rented the tape, though, and he had to get it back to the store.

Oh, shit.

He probably didn't own it.

Yeah.

And then, if you, did you, did it get eaten, the ribbon, or did you get it out?

Were you able to get it out intact?

I don't recall, but I don't recall exactly, but I think we got it out relative, like a little crinkle tape action, but I don't remember.

So it's possible he could have returned it and got it.

Oh, he definitely returned it and was like, I don't know, it worked when I gave it back, you know.

It must have been my daughter's boyfriend.

That little pervert.

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And I take that back.

If there's any nation that deserves to be rock hard, I think it's America.

We fucking, we deserve it.

All the good we do.

Yeah.

How fucking anytime somebody needs to help,

there we are.

Yeah, we deserve fucking help.

They love us.

We know that much.

Yeah.

Like, yeah, I'm.

Yeah.

If not us, who?

Exactly.

Who?

Definitely.

All right.

More than deserving.

Walt's story.

So, reincarnation, believe it?

Any possibility of it?

Or do you discount it entirely?

Or is there any part of you that...

My philosophy has been for a while now that I don't know what the fuck's going on.

I never will know what's going on.

If I think it's one thing, it's almost definitely not that.

So, sure,

I'm open to the possibility.

It would be

an incredibly comforting

thought to think that, like, hey.

We're going to get another shot at this

this thing called life you know if you if we knew that we were all going to come back as a different person

yeah that's but some most people don't I guess don't even realize it but there are a few special ones who who remember their past lives and that's what the story is about

there's a boy who claims he is rein a reincarnated Hollywood actor from the 40s and 50s

He's from Oklahoma, and when he was four or five, he began having intense nightmares.

He would wake up screaming for his mom and

asking to see the Hollywood reporter.

Any variety.

And he would be.

Gonna do buffo business.

What are you saying?

He kept telling her, I used to be somebody else.

Now, this would be

because it's either he's telling the truth or the other,

only other option is that he's having some issues, which is scary and kind of like very alarming if you have a child who

would be very upsetting.

It sounds like mental illness if you don't believe in reincarnation.

But thankfully, you know, his parents took him to a lot of good doctors, and the doctors are befuddled by all the facts that he's getting right about this former life.

Down to

things that he could not fake

about getting beat up by Meryl Monroe's bodyguards.

Oh, nice.

This is a kid who's got pants in the middle.

He's five years old.

But

he was an actor in the 40s or 50s who died in 1962.

I only seen his IDMB

account, this actor, only has one movie, and it's from 1930.

He remembers

dancing with Rita Hayworth.

Oh, fuck, nice.

Like, what fucking five-year-old even knows who Rita Hayworth is?

Yeah.

Like, if you could have that, would just be like, that's it.

I'm sold.

As soon as he Brent mentions Rita Hayworth, I'd be like, yeah.

Unless he grew up in a house where they were like obsessed with the golden age of Hollywood and like he might have heard it around.

Otherwise,

I think a lot of people today would be like, who the fuck are you?

His name in his previous life was an actor called Marty Martine,

who died in 1964

now again no this has to be

sad but also

it's sad on 1k and they but it's also like confirmation that there is reincarnation so that it is that great aspect of it but those poor parents though yeah like they kind of get robbed now out of raising a child because now they're raising a 60-year-old actor.

What is he just the same person in the body or is he just recalling memories?

Like,

he seems to just only be talking about his past life.

You know, that's what everybody wants to talk about.

Nobody wants to ask him what his mother is.

Can he dance?

I mean, get that kid a fucking agent.

I mean, because you can't take him to Disney World because he's going to be like, I dance with Rita Hayworth.

He gives a shit about Goofy.

Right?

It would be very deflating if I was a parent.

I don't know.

I mean, is it getting that serious?

The kid doesn't like Disney?

I don't know.

Bri, you on board yet?

Because I have one fact here that just

if you're not on board, this will make you a fucking

on the reincarnation train.

I'm the kind of person that, like, I'll be watching like a procedural, like, you know, a trial or something, and like the defense will present their case.

I'm like, he didn't do it.

Then the prosecution will come and be like, he did it.

Like, I'm swayed by both sides all the time.

Wishy-washy.

You can't get wishier-washier than me.

Whatever.

I'm looking at it.

I'm trickable.

Easily led.

Followers, me.

What's so great about leading anyway?

The court will take a recess.

Juror number 12, please do not buy any magic beans while you're out on recess.

They're so cheap.

It's a deal, Your Honor.

I'm going to go steal a pig that shits gold from a giant.

I don't need you're lost, don't apply to me.

You're the government.

You're supposed to love me.

Well, if you aren't a believer, as of now, wait till you hear this little tidbit.

Ryan would offer,

I didn't want to say the kid's name, but now it's out there.

Ryan would often ask his mother for true aid.

I want true aid.

I want true aid.

And nobody knew what he was talking about until somebody stumbled upon it.

It was a a defunct brand of orange soda

that went out of production

in the 50s.

Get out of here.

Let me spend the money, a bunch of money to bring it back.

Is there a pandemic coming?

I'm going to fucking run into like a brick wall.

That sounds fun.

Well, now you don't have to worry about all those pesky liquor laws.

Yeah, you're right.

You can ship that shit everywhere.

True aid.

Brian Quinn's true aid.

Doesn't have the same ring as Roxanne Horvin.

So

and then

there was a documentary about this kid.

And to go back to the soda, it was discontinued 50 years before he was born.

And then a documentary crew tracked down the actor's daughter and confirmed that her father had a craving for orange soda.

And it's not like this guy has a lot of internet footprint.

Sure.

There's not a lot of.

You got to study up on him a lot.

Right.

I mean, he was in basically one movie, it feels like.

What movie?

Let's see.

I have

Marty

Martine.

Marty Martine.

Marty

Martine.

He transitioned from being an actor to a talent agent, and

one of his clients was Glenn Ford.

He died from leukemia

and the kid nailed that though, too.

Wow.

Oh, there's a lot of stories about this kid online.

Yeah.

So far,

his big movie is Night After Night, 1932.

Otherwise, that's the only

credit he has on IDMB.

The biggest thing about him, like, it's not even his career, it's about that there's a 10-year-old kid claiming that he, you know, that's the biggest thing about this guy's career is

in 2023, this kid started saying that he was Marty McMc McFlea.

Marty McFaa wasn't

Marty Martin.

Marty Martin.

Marty Martin.

So what do you do?

I mean, if you, let's say you did,

you were the kid's parents.

Like, what's your first thought?

I mean, do you.

Well, the first thing I do is go see his internet search history to see if this kid's been looking up all sorts of Marty Martin.

Hopefully he doesn't have Express VPN.

Yeah, I get you.

I don't know.

Like, is it ruining this kid's life?

Is he himself with flashes of Marty Martin?

Is he claiming he just flat out is Marty Martine?

Is this going to be a problem, though, for him growing up, though?

Is other kids going to start making fun of him?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I would say.

Do you think so?

Because this, to me, would be too spooky.

If there was a kid in our class who was like, and he was like,

I am reincarnated from an actor from 1940.

Right.

Like, I don't want to fuck with this kid.

This is is too weird.

You would definitely steer clear of him, but I think in your quieter moments with friends, you'd be like, hey, how about Marty?

I might, but not too much.

But yeah, but I would be very leery

of some bad mojo.

I mean, this guy's got a connection to the afterlife.

I don't want to be fucking with him.

Did they ever address

the difference in age?

In terms of.

If this gentleman, if Marty died in 64,

and this kid was four years old in 2023.

2023.

Oh, I think you're well beyond time and space when you're talking reincarnation.

Okay.

I would say, yeah, who knows?

You think you come back and he dies in 1964?

You think in 1965 he's in a new house, a new model?

I would think so.

Why would you think that?

You have no idea how the shit works.

So you just, okay.

I mean, he was just floating a theater, man.

Who the fuck are you?

Jeez, bud.

It's crazy.

He's like, well, that's not how it works.

Shouldn't he have been in his new body in the 60s?

Yeah.

In high school, my buddy Jay's mom was a psychic.

She had like a little booth and stuff.

She told me I was JFK reincarnated.

How is this?

No, I think we've said it on the show before.

I think it's come up on the show before in passing.

Yeah.

She claimed I was JFK reincarnated.

It didn't fuck you up.

It didn't.

I don't think I'm Jay.

She just said his spirits.

I have his spirit.

Did she come on to you?

He was a ladies, man.

No, she didn't.

That would have been interesting.

Yeah.

Yeah, I probably would have welcomed it.

But no, yeah, she told me a few times senior year that.

So it wasn't when you were a little kid.

This was something.

This is high school.

And do you just laugh that off?

There was part of me that was a little bit like, you know, like,

that's a pretty cool person.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

And I was like, all right.

Yeah, it's not like your

Wilkes Booth.

I don't think I've ever felt like him.

You know, I never felt a connection to him in that way.

You know, you've had headaches, though, right?

Maybe that's true.

Yeah, you're right.

Yeah.

So, you know, I don't know.

Wow.

JFK sitting right next to us.

Could you believe it?

For all these years.

I know we didn't respect it.

You should wear your hat.

Yeah, it's rough.

Yeah, but what would you do if you're at his parents' kids?

Well, why not?

I mean,

this kid's parents.

Yeah.

I bring him to a psychiatrist.

I think they have.

And the psychiatrists are like, it's kind of spooky.

Like,

he's gotten a lot of shit right.

This kid's spooking me out.

What could you do?

Like, I think your options are limited.

Like, it's either get the kid on medication or you just live with this weird.

I mean, isn't that sad, though, that you put him on medication and he doesn't need it if it's true?

But how does it serve him anyway?

Let's say it is true.

Like, how does it make this, it's only going to make this kid's life harder?

Or it could make it easier.

In what way?

You know,

he's a trained actor getting to the business.

He didn't do that great.

He did one fucking movie.

He got beat up by Melvin Old Body.

Touching our ass in a restaurant or whatever.

Doesn't sound like he's that great.

It's no JFK, I'll tell you that.

Apparently, he's gotten so many things right.

We're in Overkill.

This is an Overkill episode, eh?

I didn't know if it was Overkill

territory, but there's also

somebody also, some haters online are saying he also got 97 facts wrong, though.

97?

That's a lot.

How many did he get right?

Well, he picked a photo out of this old book.

He's like, that's me.

Okay.

He didn't remember his name.

How many pictures were on the page?

That, to me, is strange, though.

He kept saying I'm an actor from the 40s, but he didn't know the name until his parents brought him an old Hollywood book, and he was looking through it and he goes, that's me, that's me, that's me.

And then they looked up the picture, and it was Marty

Martin.

Where's Marty Martin buried?

I mean, I don't know, man.

This sounds like the parents are

yeah, like it's like the um what country like the balloon boy.

Remember that balloon boy that they sent up?

Yeah,

bahinies.

I mean, I don't know.

There's there's a lot of potential, though, for you know, some money-making opportunities here, though, too.

Is there?

Oh, yeah.

In what way?

People have been running this for

the entirety of the human race.

Like, where's the money coming in from?

You could get a group of people to believe it.

And if you put him up there and he had enough facts and he came off as spooky enough, yeah, you would get people to be like, holy shit, it's true.

I mean, you see, you see these large crowds of people who go to like a, what's his name, John Edwards?

Yeah, like, like, something like that.

And like, we all know it's fake.

Yeah.

But there's some people like they just want to believe so desperately that they let it overtake their common sense.

Does it give you hope, Walt, reading this?

It does.

Yeah,

I think it's so obscure of a person to pick that it almost has to be

lends credibility.

Yeah, it's not like he's doing JFK.

Right.

He's not coming out yet with the big ones.

He's coming out with an obscure actor that no one's ever heard of was in one movie, and that makes me give pause to like, this shit is very, very possible.

And he started saying this when he...

How old is he now?

He's 10 now?

In 2020, so he's probably like seven right now.

Seven now.

Yeah.

Jesus.

Well, he's going to have like outdated ideas of like society.

It's half the country.

I don't want to worry about that.

That's covered.

Mom, you can't vote.

Yeah.

Yeah, he's gotten some things wrong.

Like he said that his father, Marty Mickin.

Martin,

his father died when he was a child, but his father actually died only six years before Martin died.

So he has gotten a few things wrong, but can you give him a break, though?

I mean, it is kind of like it's got to be a little fuzzy.

The connection to the past life has got to be difficult.

That's the question.

It's like, how many things did he get right?

He got 97 wrong, but if he also got 100 right,

that's not a bad batting average.

I don't know.

I mean, if you're talking proof of reincarnation, I think you've got to to be batting a thousand.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You need a thousand to a hundred.

He uses proof?

True aid.

Orange soda.

True aid, orange soda.

Yeah, I know, I know, but I still think, like, what soda he likes isn't as important as when his father died.

You know?

It's a bigger deal.

But a defunct brand 50 years before he was born, and he's a little kid.

Yeah.

It seems like it's either true or he's getting fed by his parents one of the times.

Well, yeah.

Yeah, I think it's something like that.

I don't know.

I don't know.

What What do I know?

I literally know nothing.

I think it gives

there's some

nice, warm, fuzzy feeling, though, that there is hope out there that we could be coming back at a certain point.

Can I float a theory by you?

As long as it's not as half-assed as Giddam's was.

It's not.

It's a short story I wrote.

God, I don't even know if I could still find it, but it was about a guy who found out that

we're all, all of us, every person that ever lived, every person on the planet, is God.

And the idea that I had written was: God was alone in the universe, right?

And went insane.

So he created all this world and stuff to give him something to do.

And he just lives all these different lives.

So it's like me talking to you is essentially

you're God, I'm God.

We're all the same thing.

I just, every time I fucking go through a life, I just purge the memories and then start it over again.

So we're all the same person with our memories wiped, just trying to entertain ourselves in an empty universe.

So we're all like different chapters in the same book.

He's like, literally, like, time and space doesn't mean anything to him.

He's like, this time I'll be Gethem.

This time I'll be Brian.

So you, under this storyline, you think that when you leave this room, if you're not in our presence, that we don't exist?

No, no, no.

He's living out the complete lives.

Like he is, time and space doesn't matter.

So he's literally everyone.

He's living everybody's lives concurrently.

So

you don't believe that

whenever you're doing, if you're not around another person, they don't exist.

They only come to life when you're around.

No, no, no.

Not at all.

Not at all.

Well, I don't believe any of it.

I know, but in your story, yeah.

Yeah, he was just like, literally, like, every single one of us is the same person, basically with memories purged.

And we're all, and it's all, we're all just interacting with ourselves because we've just lost our shit being alone in the universe.

How did you come?

How did you come up with it?

What spawned this?

It was a while ago.

It It was in my late 20s I came up with it before the fire department.

But it was like, not just that.

It was like, it was every bird, every fucking blade of grass, everything.

That's how massive the time scale is with this dude.

He's like, I can live every single living thing on this planet, all interacting with each other.

And from a distance, it seems like it's society, it's people, it's humanity, but it's really just this fucking one thing.

Who's the real?

Who's the

there's no big one.

There's no big one.

We're all it.

Like, you live your life, you die.

And then, and then, because time space doesn't matter, he's like, well, now I'll be a king in fucking England.

And so he's like, it's just all this history is just all this.

Was this a horror story or a comedy?

It wasn't a comedy.

It was not really a horror, but it was like kind of like...

Trama?

Yeah, I was just writing it out.

I was just kind of

doing a thing.

Poor man.

Yeah, he fucked himself for sure because he did.

But

it's an interesting theory, I always thought.

So, then why would he want to deal with people who

like he didn't get along with then?

Because he is the people that didn't get along.

It's just, it's just everything.

He's everything.

He's just nuts, man.

Okay.

Yeah.

All right.

That makes more sense.

He's just nuts.

He just lost it.

So he created this planet and just populated it with himself.

over and over and over and over again because the alternative is just floating in black inky nothingness for all by himself for all eternity.

Yeah, that does sound better than that.

Then what?

That your version does sound better than floating in black inky nothingness.

So we're all the same person.

We're all literally not even

kind of the same person.

We are the same person having conversations with ourselves just to kill time.

All right.

Oh, you don't mean like it's all like just some sort of inbreeding thing.

No, we're literally the same same person.

Yeah.

What was that Mountain, the Mountain family?

Oh, the Whitakers.

Yeah.

He's them, too.

He's every one of them.

It's all masturbation.

It's all masturbatory because even when you fuck someone, you're just fucking yourself.

There's certain guys you probably wouldn't want to be, though, right?

Like you wouldn't want to be Hitler.

You wouldn't want to be Charles Mannon.

Talk to me when you have unlimited time on your fucking hands.

You don't think eventually you're going to be like, I don't know, why don't I start a cult?

Or why don't I try and kill as many people as I can?

Or why don't I be Jack the Ripper?

Or why don't I be be like literally there's no repercussions, and your only victims are yourself.

So it doesn't fucking matter.

By that theory, though, what point does he get to where he's like, you know what I want to be?

I'll get him.

Unlimited time.

Unlimited time.

Eventually.

I could be a king.

I could be.

But he was a king.

He was a king a billion times over.

What better penance for being Hitler?

But Hitler is not a...

If all of Hitler's victims are just himself,

there's real no evil.

There's nothing.

It's all just fucking the guy moving around.

What was the name of the story?

Oh, I forget.

I forget that.

And I forget the name of the guy who realized it.

I got to tell you.

Did somebody else find out about it?

No, he really, he gained,

he,

for whatever reason, whatever

safeguards this God puts up to prevent himself from realizing.

Firewalls in the brain.

Right, the VPN.

There was a break in it, and he got a glimpse of what it really is.

And he was kind of freaked out.

So then everybody's had to get him?

Well, no, no, because there's no wrong answers.

Nothing you do is right or wrong because

nothing really matters.

Anarchy, though, then

anarchy.

Oh, anarchy.

Sure.

Sure.

So they would want to silence him.

No, like a Logan drone.

It doesn't make a difference at all.

They don't care whether they silence him or not.

Who cares?

Who's going to believe them?

Much like this kid Ryan in Colorado.

No, fucking hey.

Now look at that.

What's more real?

You don't even have True Aids to fall back on in your story.

Well, in my story, the guy was also the guy that created True Aid and every single person that drank True Aid.

Okay.

You know?

It's everything.

He's everything.

He's the bees.

He's everything.

That's how bored this motherfucking guy is.

Let me come back as a fucking platypus.

Yeah, you do have to platypus.

Oh, he even comes back as the animal.

Everything.

Every form of life.

Nobody would choose to come back as certain animals, though.

You know, like those fucking mollusks or those worms that eat shit.

No one's going to be like, well, you know what?

I was fucking...

I'm bored.

I was Tom Jones in his last life.

Now I'm going to come back and eat shit as a slug.

Yeah.

No.

Well, I'm not bored.

But everybody that Tom Jones is fucking and is cheering with is just you.

There is no good or bad.

Tom Jones is hot.

Sure, but you're Tom Jones.

You're also the girl that's throwing throwing your panties at him.

You're the guy who made the panties.

You're the guy backstage running the spotlight.

You're everybody.

That'd be cool.

That would be cool to find out that you and I are literally, Walter, the same person.

The same person.

It would be cool, yes.

But it would also be like the realization that also that other motherfucker out there that you're like, oh, God, I'm also him, too.

Yeah.

Hey, guys.

Another ant.

I got two more, unfortunately.

Let me read this.

Hey, guys.

Prize picks.

How to play.

Yeah.

How to play.

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So, Walt, you're probably going to know this kind of stuff.

Yeah.

Do you think Tyreek Hill will get more than 90.5 yards in week one?

I absolutely do.

Aaron Jones, run for more than 66.5 yards?

No.

No?

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Wait, man, am I going to be responsible for that if people lose money?

I don't think so.

Yeah, you might be able to count.

Sue the guys for that crypto stuff.

I really don't know anything about Tyree Kill or Aaron Jones.

Don't hold me responsible if you lose

a mortgage payment.

Right.

Waltz picks not applicable.

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Will Patrick Mahomes throw for more or less than 4,300 yards?

I think more.

More, you think?

Yeah, he's sure you want to commit.

Last time you met him?

I know.

It's so tempting

because he is the be-all, end-all.

He's the greatest quarterback.

I mean,

it pains me to say it, but he is better than Tom Brady.

Whoa.

Really?

I think he, yeah.

And when it's all said and done, he is going to be the,

he will stand alone at the top of the quarterback mount.

Tom Brady will be right there next, like a little bit notch below.

But this guy's not there yet.

He's well on his way, man.

There is no stopping this guy.

It It feels like he is on a collision course with history.

But he's not there yet.

He's not there yet.

Part of the thing that Brady possessed is that focus and dedication.

This guy might still falter.

He might not have.

Yeah, there's always a chance.

He's caught in a hotel room in Vegas.

You don't know.

You really don't hear much about his dancing brother anymore.

Yeah, he kind of quieted that shit down.

Yo, asshole.

You hear what Walt's saying about me?

You're going to fuck this up.

Yeah, but I've never seen anything like that, especially right out of of the gate.

It's like this guy was amazing day one.

Tom Brady became Tom Brady, probably only.

I mean, he won Super Bowls, but he wasn't a dominant quarterback until at least five years it took him.

This guy's just

right out of the gate.

Yeah, he's nuts.

It's like mental how good he is.

Wow, nice.

I just wish that, like,

he was on the Lions or a team I liked.

It fucking sucks that when you have a

generational quarterback and it's never on the team I like.

Sorry, bud.

Yeah, it bums me out.

It's still time.

For me,

I don't know.

I think my time is dwindling.

Well,

everybody's time is dwindling.

The clock is ticking for me to see my team win a Super Bowl.

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Prize picks.

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Pink picks.

Picks, picks, picks.

P-I-X, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks.

Yeah.

That's a super local reference, man.

No, he knows what I'm talking about.

It was the station WPIX in New York, tri-state area, I guess.

And

which PIX is still around, but they used to have this thing where you could call in at certain hours, and there were games.

Like right after school.

Yeah, and there was one game that the more you said the word picks, right?

It was like picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks.

Space

shooting spaceship.

Yeah.

If the ship went into the circle in the middle of the screen, if you said picks, it would blow up and you could win prizes.

So you'd be there on your phone going, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks.

Yeah.

Yeah, wow, man.

There's got to be video.

It's got to be on YouTube.

Yeah, look up, see if there's Uto.

It's P-I-X.

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That's it.

Yep.

So, right now, we're watching the old picks game that was on Channel 11 after school.

This is the one I remember, like firing.

Wow.

Your games have come a long way.

Long way.

Really?

What year do you think this?

Like early 80s?

Mid-80s?

Yeah, you're probably 80s.

It had to be 80s.

Yeah, for me, anyway.

Picks, picks, picks.

That's what I remember from that: the picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks, picks.

I'll say it as fast as they can.

Yeah, and you could watch people play.

You turn on the channel and watch people play.

Yeah, I guess it was like live streaming before live streaming was a thing.

Look at this.

Cougar.

Well,

What a job.

What a gig, huh?

It sounds like he's talking over a CB.

It does, yeah.

The Marvel Man.

Oh no, that was the Marvel Man.

There's a Spider-Man.

Oh, so it must have been the block of those old 60s cartoons.

Yeah.

The Hulk, Captain America, Thor.

There's some very limited

animations.

When you went home from school and you were a kid, were you go home and watch TV kid or were you a go outside Roger Biden?

Probably go outside a little bit more.

Yeah.

Yeah, probably go outside.

Although I did remember liking MTV quite a bit when they played music videos.

Because remember back then,

it was real no access to the music.

You had to wait for songs to come on the radio, wait for songs to come on

MTV and stuff like that.

so it was fun to have them it was different back then you know like that was your only access to it so i remember mtv being cool but i liked being outside but the winter was different like fucking all right yeah

yeah what about you i was outdoorsy uh light of bike riding basketball playing that kind of stuff yeah unless like it was a good stretch on the 430 movie that week you know if it was like monster week or something like that then I would stay in.

And also winter.

Fuck it.

I hated going outside in the winter.

The monster movies, the Godzilla, and stuff like that, because we would go see my grandparents every weekend.

Every weekend, Saturday, Sunday was spent at my grandparents.

So we would put on Channel 11 and watch like the Godzilla movies and stuff like that.

And, you know, because you weren't home, you didn't have all your toys and shit like that.

You were with your cousins.

So that's how I got into all that stuff.

It was the best, man.

Different now.

Yeah.

It's all different.

It's all different.

We're dinosaurs.

Picks, picks.

Picks, picks, picks.

Oh, man.

Got anything else, Walt?

No, basically, I'm on vacation.

You know, I really.

Well, next week.

No,

I started my vacation yesterday.

Oh, did you?

Yeah.

You're working.

I know.

Yeah.

I forgot that working.

Working vacation.

Did you?

Yeah.

That's the one I remember.

Okay.

Yeah, I see that one, too.

Yeah, I don't know.

I mean,

I know there's a

like some level of a Broadway show on the ship.

Oh, nice.

Do you know which one?

Yeah, I'm really looking forward to it.

It's a Broadway adaption of Saturday Night Fever.

Oh, that'll be fun.

Oh, fuck it, cool.

Yeah, that'll be fun.

You'll be lucked out.

Because sometimes we've seen some shows on the ship that you're kind of like,

no interest.

But this one really.

Trust me, I've been on IJ Cruises.

I know what you're talking about.

Well, this one, too, is like, you know, they're putting the

cast members in the nightclub scenes.

They're not putting ugly cast members in those fucking 70s scenes and those 70s dresses.

So that sounds like a fun watch for the middle of the night.

I might see that multiple times if it's good.

But I'm looking forward to that.

I mean, we're not going anywhere exotic.

I mean, we're going to Boston, New Hampshire, Nova Scotia.

Beautiful.

But it's not that tropical kind of like island.

Well, you're not going on a beach either way, so who cares?

But I did go on a beach.

Yeah.

Yeah.

On my other cruises.

I suffered.

Crab apple poisoning.

Yeah, I got the apple poisoning.

Well, these sounds like great.

I mean, Boston's a great fucking town.

Yeah, I've been to Boston.

It's nice.

You got to go to Cheers, check it out.

I went to Cheers at another location in New Jersey down in

Wildwood.

Yeah.

Or what's that called down there?

All the way down there.

K May.

K May.

There's a Cheers bar.

It's called Cheers, and it doesn't look anything like Cheers.

Yeah.

I'm not sure how they get away with calling it Cheers, but it's paying for the rights of calling it.

Well, the one in Boston, like the top level, the original restaurant doesn't look anything like it.

They put a recreation in the basement.

So now you go down the stairs and you go into cheers.

But you can't eat there or drink there.

No, I think you can.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, yeah.

It depends.

So it depends how close it is to port because I get off the boat and then I can only go to a certain area.

I don't know if I'd get an Uber for the Cheers bar.

I don't know, maybe.

Well, there's more to do in Boston than just a Cheersbook.

You'll have a good aquarium, I know, if you're into aquariums.

Yeah, I would go see an aquarium.

Yeah.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

Yeah.

Nova Scotia's a tough one.

It's Canadia.

Yeah, what are you going to do up there?

What do they have up there?

I think it's a lot of wildlife.

Oh, that's nice.

Yeah.

What's going on the cruise?

Just me and my wife.

Oh, wow.

Oh, I thought the fives would be involved.

No, no, just me and my wife.

She's hoping to see a whale.

Was it ever discussed?

That they would go?

Yeah.

No.

Oh, wow.

Is everything all right?

I don't think so yeah everything's perfect they got a dog they can't get away now right

um but yeah this cruise was

it's been years in the making because i've had to cancel one time and so there's been a lot of like

things that have

blockades in the way of getting on this cruise finished nice so hopefully this one goes off without a hitch

i have that nagging feeling that we're not going to make it through the nine days why i got this premonition really good way or a bad way A bad way like that.

We're going to have to get off the boat and get an and get a rent a car and come home.

I don't know why, but it just got this feeling.

Well, hopefully,

hopefully, that doesn't happen.

But boy, every day it gets closer, I feel I got this feeling that it's like we're not going to see the nine days on the boat.

We're going to come home early.

Hopefully, it doesn't happen, though.

Huh, yeah, man.

What a bummer.

Don't bring that up.

No, I'm not going to say that.

Check that on the demo.

Wow, nine days.

Nine days, yeah.

Wow.

Do you have excursions planned like that?

Oh, yeah, yeah.

We got all the excursions.

Well, my wife did all the excursions.

I don't know anything about them until

the night before, and she tells me what we're doing.

Yeah.

It's nice.

Yeah, it'll be cool.

It'll be fun.

It'll be nice to

just unplug Q-style, aggressively unplug.

Aggressively unplugged, man.

That's the way you got to do it.

Yeah, so next week, so next week they'll either be the Space Monkeys or nothing.

One of the two.

Yeah.

All right.

Cool.

Is that it?

Yeah.

I guess so, man.

Have fun on the trip, man.

It's pretty cool.

Going Viage.

Tell them, Steve, Dave.