#604: Angel Boy

Hey, Walt here with this week's Patreon plug.

I really think you'll enjoy this Tuesday, August 13th release as the all-new Sunday Jeff Show returns.

This episode, we play a game called Make Sunday Laugh.

Let's hear a couple clips of this.

This is the douchebag who fucking was like, I didn't do fucking, I didn't do any effort at all.

I saw you were sleeping on the couch when I came in.

This is pitiful, you piece of shit.

You know, this episode was super fun to make, and and I think you'll be able to feel that fun while listening or watching this episode.

Who will make Sunday laugh?

Will it be Bry?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Do you want two CDs?

Two CDs, though.

Do you want a CDs nuts?

These nuts?

Will it be Giddem?

Knock knock.

Who's there?

Deja.

Deja vu.

Knock Kock.

Knock back who.

Knock knock.

Give it a nuts.

Will it be Tom?

You gotta go all out.

Maybe even use Didildo, if it needs be.

Jimmy, how far on this do I gotta put it in my mouth to get a laugh from you?

Or throw up from you?

Or will it be me?

Go.

All right, for this knock knock joke round, I want you to pretend I'm a 10-year-old girl, double amputee.

No arms.

Knock knock.

Who's there?

It ain't Susie.

Wait, did I tell you about it?

No!

Find out this Tuesday on the TESD Patreon.

Dude, I was like,

my kitty was purring.

Let me just tuck this dick back

at least you never fucking spread Mercury

A lot of football on the opposing team.

Tell him Steve Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tellum Steve Dave.

I sit here at the table with Walt.

Chillo.

Via StreamYard, BQ.

Hello.

The traffic was too much for him, Walt.

Too many beachgoers.

I get it.

Yep.

Yeah, there's only a few more weeks left of summer.

I know people are going to try to squeeze every last little bit of Jersey.

You know, we're the butt of all the jokes, but man, why is the fucking traffic so bad?

Why is everybody trying to get here?

We got to get to Jersey, huh?

Where all the beaches are?

Yeah.

A fucking hour and 20 minutes to go 28 miles.

I was like, I'm going to fucking

zoom this one.

You know.

Understandable.

I've never been a wall guy, but man, if the governor was ever run on Lake Evergreen to build the wall to keep all the New Yorkers out during the summertime, I might be into it.

Build that wall?

Yeah, traffic is sucked so hard because all you guys fucking running down here, soaking up all our sun, and we can't get any of it.

Yeah, but who are you going to fucking sell your framed photos of Bon Jovi to on the boardwalk if we don't fucking come there?

Yeah.

Q,

last week or the week before, I can't remember, but we took some lumps for

mentioning that a former president had been shot.

Yeah, I was surprised to hear that, but yes, we took lumps.

I think we course corrected well.

And we didn't mention it again.

No one can ever say we don't.

I think we course correct better than any podcast.

Yeah, we tuck our little dick between our legs

and hide it at the first mention of someone being unhappy.

It's I didn't even like

probably

third hand.

Like, I don't, I never saw with my own eyes.

You told me that somebody was unhappy, and I was like, oh, let me just tuck this dick back.

Hold on.

God forbid we fucking talk about something that you don't like.

Anybody got some extra tape?

I'm about to go to Target for one of their tuck bathing suits.

You don't agree with me?

100%!

Well,

my point being that even though we took our lumps for that, it wasn't even the biggest controversy this last couple of weeks.

The bigger one was Walt liked Deadpool vs.

Wolverine, or Deadpool Wolverine, rather.

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Wait,

a movie that is universally beloved.

Somebody has a problem with you liking.

Basically, called me a poser, and I thought that I had a higher standard for comic books and the characters in comics.

Was just disappointed that

one of the most backhanded compliments ever.

They said, We know Q has a career to worry about, but you don't.

So you should be able to say if you don't like a comic book movie.

And I'm like, but I did like it.

Yeah.

And by the way, I mean, so did I.

Like, I didn't go on about it to cover up not liking it.

I loved it.

I don't want to live in a world that if you if you you were just saying you like Deadpool Wolverine to be to help your career further

why would anybody even think that

I don't know what career like I'm not in the Marvel movies.

I'm not like

I got my little corner

it could affect him adversely if he were to say something negative about the movie like he went to the premieres you don't want to step in any big wig's toes I think that's that is you know some people think that that

you're looking for toes to not step on at every moment, which you got to in this world.

You got to watch the toes.

Yeah, you got to look for toes.

There is something about that, but I mean, that doesn't come in the form of like fake raving.

Like, it comes in the form of not bashing.

You know what I mean?

So, yeah, they're wrong.

They're wrong.

I told them, I was like, hey, man, you didn't like it.

I did.

I don't know what, I don't know what else more you want from me.

Right.

What didn't they like about it?

They said they felt that when you boil it down, there is no story.

It's just cameos.

And,

you know what?

I can get behind that.

I can see if someone's looking for story, but if they're looking for a lot of substance in a Deadpool movie, as far as that character goes, yeah, you're just looking, marking up the wrong tree.

That character is not known for like weighty, heavy

characterization.

It's fun, Bugs, Bunny, breaking the fourth wall, shit.

And if you don't like that, yeah, great.

I mean, yeah,

I don't care.

But I wouldn't, I don't know.

I just would never be amped up enough to write an email about if someone did like it, though.

Yeah, I think the most offensive part is that he came after you because he thought you were too highbrowed to like it.

Yes.

He came after Q because he's like, look, he's just protecting his career.

He totally glossed over me.

Yeah, you weren't even mentioned.

That wasn't even a fucking part of it.

He's like, Johnson's adults.

Of course he liked it.

He's a fucking idiot, just like everybody else.

He's a sheep.

It takes a special someone to look at something that is like universally beloved and not to not like it, that's fine, but like to not look and be like, well, there's something I don't see about it because everybody fucking loves it.

But I'm right.

I'm the one that's right.

I want to bash the guy because he is a loyal listener and everything.

And I'm sure he's not happy that Brian brought this up because I wasn't going to bring it

but I think he was more mad they didn't get mentioned in the email that's why he held on to this one oh yeah a week now it's been a week I've been like look at this fucking guy I liked it

but it you know it's it's okay not to fucking love universally beloved movies I mean there's plenty that I don't love that people rave and adore

you know

like what uh well name a movie that's kind of universally adored

uh In the past, Toy Story, like,

I mean, even Toy Story.

I'm like, it's all right, but I'm like, I was never one to be like, oh, we need a franchise on this.

For Back to the Future.

Oh, yeah, there you go.

Back to the Future.

Like, it's fine.

But, like, I don't fuck my

dick doesn't rise and fall on fucking Marty Marty McFly's fucking exploits.

Like, Frank Five.

Somewhere's like, hey, hey, hey.

Some of ours do.

You want to, I caught a little bit of a this is unsubstantiated, of course, but I know someone who read the new Jurassic Park script and said it's fucking awesome.

They're like they're they're fixing Jurassic Park with this, I was told.

But there's a franchise, there's a good example of a franchise.

I have never been in love.

I don't know what you can do after the first one.

So I'm very interested to see what on earth you can do different, what new spin you could put on dinosaurs attacking humans.

I got the sense that it wasn't a totally new spin so much as back to basics in an awesome way

is kind of what I was picking, the vibe I was picking up.

And basics would be dinosaurs eating humans.

I'm guessing they're in the jungle, you know, getting eaten by dinosaurs and shit like that.

So, yeah, you know, more of that.

But, like, yeah, here you go.

Remember this?

I don't, that I don't, that I don't know.

Pratt's not it, and I'm not going.

No?

You done?

Wait, did I just step on a toe?

I'm sorry.

I don't care.

Fuck Pratt.

Get him out of there.

Big winter listener.

I don't know what to say.

I had a

big weekend last weekend.

Did you?

Yeah, like probably what's going to be the biggest weekend of my summer.

Oh, maybe of the last five years.

Probably.

Didn't you do two things in one weekend?

I was worn out.

I know.

There was like QL to meet on Thursday.

You're like, guys, I'm wiped out.

I got to wait till Saturday.

I did two things over the weekend.

Like, four days of rest is enough.

Friday, hung out with

our new adult couple friend.

You have a new adult couple friend.

Yep.

Yeah.

Mary Jane Watson.

You know, the cosplayer.

She dresses up like Mary Jane with the red hair.

I would know this person.

She'll probably.

She's coming to the store, I'm sure.

Oh, okay.

I thought you meant this was like a famous cosplayer.

Like, oh, no.

You'll have like some have she's well known, but yeah, she's not, she's not like that level.

I don't think she's next level.

Like Doom Kitty.

Remember, um, Ming used to bring in Doom Kitty?

Yep, yeah.

Whatever happened to Doom Kitty?

I don't know.

Do these cosplayers age out?

I think you can.

I think you can age out.

I remember going to a con one time, and there was, I can't remember her name, but it was one of Ming's friends.

Little girl, very cute, very pretty, big boobs, the whole thing.

And she's cosplaying, like doing all the sexy cosplays.

And then she's wondering one day, like, why people aren't coming to her booth.

And I was like, did you fill her in?

Oh, yeah.

I was like, because you're dressed like a fucking Ewok.

You're not sexy at all.

Like, you're dressed like an Ewok.

That's like, look at the guys who are coming up to get pictures with you.

They're getting pictures with these Star Wars characters or whatever that, like, you didn't play.

You're just dressing up like them.

It's like it's Halloween.

Right, but there is an industry built on that, though.

But you got to, was she a sexy sexy Ewok?

No, she wasn't even a sexy Ewok.

That was the problem.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

If you want to get people to pay attention to you and you weren't in the movie, yeah,

you got to flash a little bit of something, right, Q?

Or else.

Only if you want people to be interested.

And you want to get a picture with you, there's got to be some hook.

Yeah, I can just take a picture with a fucking dog if I want to take a picture with an Ewok.

Let's get some skin out.

You got it.

So, where did you meet this couple?

i i've met them a couple times during kind of like said hello you know but um really met them on the joker's cruise okay like really started talking and saying hello and all that other stuff and marybeth and uh mary jane stayed in touch is that an is that confusing when you have two marries you have to say both names not really because one is like seven feet tall and the other one is like five two

she's seven foot tall she no she's not seven feet tall but she's very tall she's a very statuesque woman mary jane uh no because i just call him mj i call you just call her mj and mary beth so uh friday hung out with those guys what'd you do lovely evening uh just hung around had dinner talked shot the shit got to know each other that sort of thing just you know conversation

really you're not you don't really like that though i don't but i didn't mind it because i liked it yeah what about these people it's so fucking special oh see this is where this is where it starts coming out the jealousy what about what about yeah well we hung out on sunday he came over well to my place on Sunday Brian and we watched a bunch of nightmare in Elm Street movies which we got to talk about that fucking scene

and

he's going on and on about these fucking

these new friends of his okay well what was what was so

intoxicating

well they were drinking so they got intoxicated I didn't drink no there was no there was no

volcano use?

Oh no no no oh really no they they have they have high-level jobs I can't say what, but they have high-level jobs that

they're not allowed to do that kind of thing.

Oh, they get drug tested and shit?

Yeah.

Wow.

So they can't even have like,

wow, so like they may not get called upon on like random drug testing.

Probably, yeah.

Wow, this has got to be a government job then, I would have to think.

Could be.

I can't say.

We look at it out of them.

So, yeah, so

what did you guys talk about if they're so great to hang out with and talk to?

Just, you know, tell them Steve Dave stuff.

We talked about

talked about their jobs a little bit.

That's the last thing I'd want to talk about with like a couple.

Oh my god, yeah, I would be like,

I'd jump in the pool.

Yeah.

Before, yeah,

with all my clothes on, before I'd want to talk about that at like.

Well, they're not like hardcore.

They're just listeners, but I can tell they're not like hardcore.

So they're hardcore IJ then?

They're probably more hardcore IJ.

They also went on the view of skew cruise so like they're out there they're they're at all these cons and stuff man they're everywhere dressing up and all kinds of stuff yeah they try i mean i remember travel to japan and all kinds of places

she's she's easy to remember i'll grant her that yeah she's very easy to remember uh him for some reason i can't pull up the mental image of him i don't remember yeah

uh but we'll standing next to her it's tough yeah yeah you're like well i mean there's there's I mean, she's pretty, she's pretty attractive.

So I'm, you know, I'm like, what is that, your handler?

Who is this guy?

But it turns out they're, they're, what, married?

Yeah, looks that way.

They're lovely.

And what do you prepare for them?

What, like, how much, well, how much effort you're putting into this dinner?

Well, as much as the Japanese place we ordered from.

Oh, you didn't.

We didn't grill?

No, we didn't grill.

I thought you definitely asked him steaks.

No, no, I didn't even think of that.

To tell you the truth, I was like, we'll just order it.

It'll be easier.

Yeah, I won't have to.

Because I came home from doing Tell him Steve Dave that day, I think.

Yeah, on Friday.

Are you texting him?

Do you text him one-on-one or is it a group text?

I texted him.

He texted me, said, hey, thanks for everything.

And then I texted him back.

But then Mary Beth said she's going to start a group text so we can all be in on it.

Couples only.

Don't even try getting in on you.

Is there a follow-up date planned?

No, not yet.

I know they're going to be back in the area for TerrificCon, but that's all the way to Connecticut, Washington.

Washington, D.C., yeah.

It's not that far.

No, no, like if we want to meet halfway or something, you know, meet up in Maryland or something like that.

Grandmother loves it, though.

She really likes her a lot.

You got your own Five family, it sounds like.

Like your own new best friends, Frank Five and Mrs.

Five, people for you to go places with,

yeah, to text, to text, and have fun, and all sorts of fucking fun with.

Yeah, I hear my text go off.

I'm like, oh, maybe it's those guys.

Yeah.

But so then that was Friday.

Then Saturday, I went to Monster Mania down at Philly and

met the one, the only Henry Winkler,

which was more of a thrill than I thought it was going to be.

What kind of

line does the Fonds have at this point?

I waited about a half hour.

Okay,

that's a respectable line.

It was a respectable line, yeah.

I think they capped it at a certain point.

Like I was in the overflow area, and I waited there for about a half hour, somewhere around there, and then you get brought to the regular line.

And he steps out.

He's one of these guys.

He steps out from behind the table.

He's taking pictures.

He's talking.

He's having a good time.

I didn't know he was so old.

I think we just

looked up.

I thought the guy.

You didn't say that, right?

No, I was just, oh, my God.

I thought I was old.

Look at you.

But yeah, Waltz schooled me that he was 78.

Because

I thought he was younger when he was in happy days.

I didn't know he was as old as he was.

But yeah, 78 is.

78 is older.

Well, if I could be honest with him, like if I had a rapport with Arthur Fonzarelli, I would be like,

I would just say,

just try to look a little bit more like Fonz at this point.

You could do it.

He could still pull it off.

Get some.

Not like a bedraggled old man.

Yeah, you could.

Because he's got the wild hair to him.

Yeah,

get some fucking Just for Men in that fucking dude.

And I'm telling you, you would look like the Fons again.

Absolutely, with a minimal amount of effort, he could look fucking just as cool as he did in 1979.

You think?

Absolutely.

I don't know why his handlers aren't like somebody in his camp isn't fucking in his ear being like.

I think he's more focused on new stuff.

Like he writes books, he writes children's books.

He's doing a voice for like Monsters Inc, the Disney show.

I know, but look,

but I'm telling you, if you notice it,

everybody notices it.

And he could look like the same old Arthur Fonzarelli with just like a weekend's work worth of action.

It would be so weird.

You'd be like, hey, whoa.

Like, what happened to your hair?

Like, why is it check black?

Oh, I'm telling you, I think he would look marvelous.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's what, like, if I could ever get in close

with Fonzie, and that's the one thing I would try to do.

I would broach it very, very tactfully.

Right.

Yeah.

I'd be like, hey,

did you know that I dye my hair?

He'd be like, no.

Who are you again?

That's cool.

My bud would be just as white as yours, Henry.

But it's not.

If you notice, it's not.

That's what I should have said, too.

In fact, I was actually going to ask you guys.

Actually, I have to ask you guys,

what color is my hair?

White.

Is it white?

Yes.

But white, he has white hair, like white, like this paper.

Yeah, it's just

not blonde.

It's not gray.

It's not white.

It's just a more starker white.

So it's an absence of all color, then?

It's like a sandy white, maybe?

Yeah, it has some yellowish to it, a little bit.

Yeah.

Yeah.

What's up?

Yours or his?

No, mine.

No, his is all white.

Yeah.

His is like cotton colour.

He's like Santa Claus white.

Yeah.

But it doesn't have to be that way, though.

Right.

That's the thing that I just like, I'm like, why?

Why?

You don't have to do this.

I think now it would be noticeable because you kept it up like through the whole time.

Like at no point were we ever like, oh my god, that's fucking a shock of white hair.

Like you kept it up so like it was never noticeable, you know?

Whereas like if all of a sudden Henry Winkle looks like he did in 72.

Two days in, people would be like, would not even notice it, It wouldn't even be jarring anymore.

Do you think he wants to be the Fons again?

Or is he like, motherfucker, I'm 78.

Like,

I don't want to be the Fonz.

That's like saying, do you not want to be Q at 78?

I don't think you're going to be able to be.

Or do you want to be like a stuttering, fucking, doddering old fucking dope?

Those are the only two, those are the only two options.

I mean, if it's 78, they were like, let's fucking, why don't you go out there and be a dickhead in public again?

I'd be like, I'll just let me die.

Let me die.

No, I know you.

You don't want to, you want to be the same cat you were in your 40s that you are when you're 78.

I think most people do.

They just don't want to let it all just drop it all and don't give no effort.

Well, I mean, I, yeah, but I mean, I, you know, you want to evolve as a person and grow as a person, right?

For what?

I guess that's a good point.

I don't know, like self-discovery, learning new horizons.

But guys like you and Fonzie, though, you were always somebody.

For a lot of people, they were never somebody, so there is no standard.

You guys have a standard.

You got to keep up to it.

If you don't, then you got guys like Brian walking up to you and they like fucking jawdrop that you got white hair.

What the fuck?

I think it's too late, man, for that already.

People are like, look at me now and they're like, whoa, how long this show's been on?

And I'm like, yes, it's been on a while.

It's been on a bit.

No, don't kid yourself.

If you look at those early episodes, he is right.

He looks almost like downright cherubic.

He's got a little bit of a fat face, and he just looks like a big angel boy.

Angel boy.

Yeah, yeah.

It's, it's the, the, it's now, I'm just now in the phase where people in their early 20s,

if I leave my house, this is what I get now is people in their early 20s being like, oh my God, you're my, you were my childhood.

Oh my God, I grew up watching you.

Oh, my God.

It's it.

It happened once or twice, like in the past couple of years, but now it is almost 100%

what I get are people in their late teens, early 20s being like, I grew up watching you.

And it is

an adjustment.

It is an adjustment.

I'm not going to lie, but I, but I've made the adjustment and I'm kind of digging it now.

Like, it's kind of fun.

So I think I'm okay with it, Walt.

I think I'm okay with like.

You say that now, but I'm telling you, you're not, I just got this feeling, you're not going to be that guy that just lets himself go.

You don't think I've already let.

That's very nice of you.

Thank you.

There's no way.

There's no way.

You are definitely.

There's a certain thing you could just tell about certain cats.

And like Henry could be that cat, too.

I don't know why he's not, but.

I don't know, man.

At like 56, I'm like, fuck it all.

I can't imagine at 78, like 22 years ago.

But he still looks good, though.

But Fonzie still looks good.

It's the jarring fucking

stark white hair, yeah.

Which is like a

the fucking problem solver comes in a box.

You don't think more people would be

startled by

just black hair?

They'd rather have a couple of people startled and then some fucking some of them late, some of them fucking ladies are waiting in line being like ooh he still looks like Fonzie still gets me fucking

right but they're all they're also they're also 78 that's okay that's all right

they're still they're still younger than him

he's still he's still the he's still the only one that gets me this fucking kitty wet

his wife was right there by the way when he was signing stuff

i tried to get marybeth to say that i'm sorry even Even

a married man at 78,

if he overhears that in his line,

it's still going to give him a fucking little fucking bounce.

It would make you feel pretty good.

Yeah.

He still looks like Fonte.

He still makes this fucking kitty purr.

What good it does him?

I don't know.

I mean, aside from that brief blip of ego boost, I'm not sure how good it does.

I mean,

I might be saying it if I was waiting in line.

Yeah.

Yeah, if he had dyed his hair.

Yeah.

How much did it cost?

It was $35 a person, the ticket.

And you were.

Oh, and the selfie was $60.

And you were very

worried about that you had, not worried, but you had some,

you put some thought into what you were going to say.

You're like, I want to say something, but...

You know, he said, you know, he's heard a million different things.

What am I going to say that's going to be impactful?

So what did you wind up saying to Arthur Fonzarelli?

I wound up saying, I've had since the mid-70s to come up with something new and original that no fan has ever said before.

And I wanted to let you know, I'm still working on it.

And it made him laugh, and he goes, No one has ever said that before.

Oh,

that had to put a little bounce in your step, too, right?

Dude, I was like,

My kitty was parring.

Like, I don't mind your hair, Arthur.

Wow.

So, It's not that much money, 35 bucks.

For a ticket to the place?

No, it was.

Oh, how much was the selfie?

The selfie was 60.

Okay, all right.

We got two selfies out of it, and then

he gave Sage a couple little things that he signed for.

She looked like she didn't know what was going on.

Well, I can't imagine she's seen an episode of Happy Days.

I don't think so.

No, I think she has no frame of reference.

Freddie was there.

I heard that Freddie was

he had people waiting in line for like five hours.

This is what I hear from.

What's the actor's name?

Getting the original.

Robert England.

Yes, yes.

That he had people waiting in line for like five hours, and when he finally got to his booth, he only went through 40 people.

I don't know if he was sick.

This part I didn't hear if he was sick or just didn't want to do it or whatever, or he's getting older.

It's like all these guys, like you see all these people, like the cast of Nightmare on Elm Street.

I was like, holy shit, everybody looks like,

like, you forget.

The movie was in, what, 84?

It was a long time ago.

Yeah.

So, like, every, like, the mom is just like, she looks like a grandma, like an older grandma.

Heather Langenkamp, you know, the one who played Nancy, she looks like a mom.

I don't know them.

Yeah.

I've seen the movie once and I'm not a big fan of the franchise like you guys.

I mean you had a maybe

if I had known about this fucking this

what's it called binge of Nightmare on Elm Street at your house cube, I would have came up because I'm so out of the loop on Nightmare on Elm Street.

It wasn't planned as a Nightmare on Elm Street as binge.

We were just bullshitting and I don't know how it came up.

We were like, fuck it, let's throw it on and see

what it was.

But I mean, they're not, you know,

the later ones don't seem like you're missing all that much.

But we, we, Walt, it was insane.

We watched Freddy vs.

Jason as part of this spree.

And there's a part in it that was so fucking insane.

Like, in retrospect, we were dying laughing at it.

Where Kelly Rowland, who is in Destiny's Child, is Freddy's about to kill her friends by the way.

They pull Freddy out into the real world at Camp Crystal Lake, and he's about to put his knives into her friends.

And she's in Destiny's Child.

She's a black woman.

And

she's like, yo, Freddy, he's about to kill her friends.

She's like, yo, Freddy, yo, Freddy.

And he turns around and he looks at her.

And like, Freddy's instant reaction, he goes, oh, how sweet.

Dark meat.

And we're so thinking she's like, this is 2003.

Yeah, we're like, it's so funny that that's what Freddy like sees.

Like, that's, it's perfect for Freddy Cougar.

He is the guy that would turn around and say that.

But then he starts moving towards her.

He abandons the couple he's about to kill.

And he starts moving towards her.

But like in this creepy, like,

like...

houndish sidestep where he's like sticking his tongue out her and going

he's like moving towards her all sexy and you're like oh man but then she starts teeing off on freddy and like in a really interesting line goes uh what's up with that Christmas feta?

What are you, some sort of faggot?

She goes, and it's wild.

It's wild.

And then Freddy, who is a child molester, keep in mind, gets insulted to his core that she called him gay.

It's like, fucking, it totally throws his fucking game off.

Like, he can't take it, right, bro?

Like, he's just, he's blinkered.

Yeah, he's knocked back a couple steps more so than if she hit him with something

or had some inside information that could hurt him, he was really put off by the fact that she called him gay.

Really?

Yeah, it was so weird.

Oh, it was really weird.

You don't think that insult holds as much water nowadays?

I think if you went into a prison and you started throwing it around, you might get some pushbacks.

I might not get out of the prison alive.

I don't think so.

Yeah, but like he.

Oh, Master Gay.

It's me, in May Pry.

I still think that still still is a pretty incendiary, fucking insult.

Yeah, there aren't many people.

People are like, wait, what?

I'm just kidding.

I'm just kidding.

Jokes, I got jokes.

I got jokes for you guys.

But I maintain that, like, it is

a brilliant piece of character work because, like,

you got to imagine that Freddy Krueger would

immediately notice that a hot black chick is black and then immediately not like being called gay.

Like, it is in line with the type of person that I imagined Freddy Krueger to be.

So it was like, wow, it's fucking wild.

It was just me.

I haven't seen anything like it in a long time.

It's funny.

But all those 80 slasher icon monsters,

out of all of them, he would be the only one that would notice because I feel like Jason would not see skin color.

He just sees a victim.

Who's the other big 80s slash?

Michael Myers.

Michael Myers, again,

I don't think it would register.

I mean, he has also, none of these guys talk other than Freddy, though, right?

Right, only Freddy talks and quips.

Right.

Well, maybe Pinhead, but even he is like,

he's not dropping just

shit on a serious guy.

Yeah, in the grand scheme of things, Pinhead's seen so much heinous shit.

I don't think even calling him gay is going to fucking matter.

i'll tear your rectum apart

oh man it's a really funny we can't i mean i'm sure we can't be the fucking only it's got that clip's got to be on the internet right it's got to be somewhere yeah yeah do you feel the 80s iconic horror characters have are

and probably it's about time to start rolling them back out onto screens and shit and utilizing them more?

They feel like they've.

Yeah.

First of of all, Robin England's still alive.

Like, let's get him in there.

You know what I mean?

Like, it's not a heavy lift to do Freddy.

It's mostly just like leering and, you know what I mean?

Let the special effects do the work.

He's alive.

Get him in there.

Get Jason back.

Like, yeah, where are all these guys?

Like, let's fucking go.

Do you think there's still some money to be made off of making those movies in this day and age?

Or do you think that horror has passed them by?

Much like my beloved Universal Monsters, you know, they don't seem to be,

in the same kind of limbo right now, I think the 80s Slasher Monsters.

I'm not sure that that's the perfect comparison because, like, yes, the Universal version of those monsters may have fallen out, but they're still making Dracula films.

They're still making Frankenstein films, you know?

They're just not using that version of the characters.

So, yeah, I think horror is on.

Yeah, I think Slasher is going to come back because, like, I think with the rise of practical effects being something that people are interested in again, and

people love those terrifier movies and how bloody and gory they are, and shit like that.

People are taking notice.

So, I think I do.

I think the time is right for those type of films to make a comeback and those characters to make a comeback.

Cheap to make, you know what I mean?

People love to watch them.

Why not, man?

I would go.

It's been a while.

Yeah.

Well, I mean, the last ones would have been the Halloweens.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't know.

That I didn't care for.

And I didn't.

The guy who was in Roar, the guy who played Rorschach was Freddie.

Right.

Yeah.

Jackie Leonardo.

That was awful.

That was awful.

Was it his fault?

That was awful.

No, it wasn't his fault.

It was, I mean, it was his fault in so much that he wasn't Robin England.

But yeah, it wasn't that.

They went so far with the child molesting stuff that it actually made the movie uncomfortable to watch for me.

Like, there was no...

Yeah, it wasn't like, he's a child murderer, Wink.

Wink.

It was like, nah, he fucked those kids, man.

He fucked them pretty hard.

It was like, oh,

I don't really want to watch that.

It's the monster, though?

Yeah, that and the knife fingers, you know?

I mean, why don't we just lean into the knife fingers?

Yeah,

I didn't enjoy it for that reason.

I'd rather a bad, schlocky horror movie than a well-made one that's exclusively about child molestation.

Yeah.

You know, I hipped Jimmy the Hair Guy to something about Freddy Krueger that he didn't know.

And I don't know if you guys know this.

Do you know who

Freddy's father is?

Well, it's

100 Maniacs.

Yeah, 100 Maniacs who gang raped a nun in a mental instance.

Yeah.

Amanda Krueger.

What part was that in?

Was that in part?

That was four.

Dreammaster.

I mean, they talk about it in three, but in four, they show it to you.

Yeah, she gets locked in with all these nuts and stuff.

And I'm surprised that Jimmy didn't know that, but we were talking about Freddie Krueger comic books, and I dropped that, and he was just like, oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

I was like, it's hardcore, man.

That's a cool, fucking, well, I don't know what that cool might populate, but that's a fucking vile, sinister origin, though.

Yeah.

That's a fitting of a fuck.

You know what you're not going to see in those characters, and they shouldn't, is try to give them a backstory that you kind of like sympathize with them, like fucking, like what Star Wars does and everything is like, Well, I don't know if he's really a villain, you know.

Well, that's what Rob Zombies Halloween did.

It gave the kid like an abusive backstory.

So, when he becomes Michael Myers, it's hard not to sympathize with the kid who was treated like shit in tournament today.

Let's keep the heroes heroic and let's keep the villains fucking.

Yeah, just like, how the fuck did this happen?

Yeah, how did they, how did they become so evil?

Black and white, no gray, right?

Couldn't agree more.

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They always say first impressions are important, but what about lasting impressions, right?

You want to go in there half-cocked, so to speak.

Yeah, that could be

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Or wait a minute.

No, no, this is a nasty, naughty girl.

It's the first date.

Well, you might not get her to agree to a second date.

If you're not ready to go, yeah.

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I'll be real quick.

I didn't want to talk about it while we're doing the Blue Chew ad, but do you guys remember how prevalent

pills to make your member grow bigger were at a certain point?

Oh, yeah.

And they just kind of went the way of the dinosaur.

I guess they didn't work, huh?

I'm thinking they probably didn't work.

Those gas station embodigas that you used to visit to get drunk.

Yeah.

What happened to extends?

Everywhere for a while, though, you're right.

You just don't see any ads for it.

Nothing.

It's like maybe it's as if the FDA fucking maybe was was like, you can't do this.

You can't fucking sell a product that doesn't fucking actually do anything.

It's weird.

The FDA is really weird.

Like, people will put shit out like that K2 stuff and the FDA like doesn't do anything about it.

Then it turns out it causes like seizures and hallucinations and all this other shit.

There's this stuff called Kratom that I see advertised at gas stations and it's supposedly gives you like a heroin high.

Whoa.

Like feels like a heroin high.

And I'm like, how do these products make it past the FDA?

Is that for truckers so they can stay awake?

Probably, yeah, I would imagine.

Although, I mean, if you're a trucker, you probably want like the real stuff.

You probably want Adderall or Coke or meth or something

that you don't have to buy at a gas station.

Not that horny goat weed.

Not horny goat weed or that,

what was that thing, the five-hour energy drink?

Is that it?

They still have them, right?

Yeah, I think they're still out there.

Yeah.

Speaking of FDA, I had something that, a story that I saw that I wanted to get your guys' opinion on.

Have you seen this new sports league where you slap people into submission?

Yes.

Yeah.

Have you seen it?

It's usually like huge Russian guys, right?

Yeah.

I don't know what state

is allowing these competitions to go on when you see the footage of people.

It has to be causing massive brain bleeding.

When it's a sport where you have to have a couple guys ready to catch you if you get knocked down.

I'm not

sure.

How is this legal?

And who wants to see someone

slapped into unconsciousness?

Like, who is getting off on that?

Yeah,

it's not like MMA where it's like, okay, it's barbaric, but

it's a fucking.

You sit there with your arms at your side and allow yourself to be slapped as hard as possible to move your brain because that's what causes you to go unconscious.

Your brain hits your skull.

Right.

And

you just fucking fall to the ground and someone has to catch you.

And how is this legal?

I don't know.

What's it called?

Do you know?

I mean, I just can't imagine.

And that guy who is into the fighting, the owner of MMA, he calls it the new up.

Power slapping?

Power slapping.

He's called it the new sport.

Like it's the most popular sport

on the rise.

Like this is going to overtake a lot of um yeah like it's going to overtake a lot of other sports to become one of the more popular sports in america i don't get it i do not get it it is fucking brutal and just

i i don't know the uh like i don't want to be in the same auditorium with dudes who are fucking getting off on seeing someone fucking slapped into unconsciousness because you're going to get slapped next yeah let me let me ask you this because when i was in vegas i saw an advertisement for the same thing it was power slap but it was big booty Latino girls slapping each other on the butt.

And they were taking it.

You know what?

There's no brain hemorrhaging in that.

I'm all for that.

Yeah.

I'd get in the ring.

We could see if Tel See if Dave could sponsor a team.

Oh, wait a minute.

Wait a minute.

Oh, wait a minute.

But it's not slapping each other's booties.

It's slapping a dude.

Oh, okay.

No, no, the girls, they take a turn bending over.

But how did someone win that, though?

I think we all win that.

How did your participants win though I don't know I only saw the advertisement for it I didn't I didn't look into it but I'm willing to do the research Walt

I'll come back with some answers the so there's power slap the road to the title I guess that was on what does it say here TBS

TBS network yes and home to Impractical Joke

was exactly produced by PowerSlap's owner Dana White who's the MMA guy it was due to premiere on 11th July January 11th, 2023, but was delayed a week after White was filmed slapping his wife in a Mexican nightclub at a New Year's Eve party.

What's with this guy's slapping people, man?

But I am sorry, though.

Like,

we can't have hard tackles in football, but yet on another channel, we could turn the channel and see someone fucking helplessly knocked unconscious.

That could be absolutely face

down the line horrendous health issues by having like CTE.

Yeah.

It doesn't make any sense.

What about boxing and UFC?

Isn't it all the same?

Couldn't you say that about anything?

I just feel this is even more egregious in terms of

allowing an injury to happen because you have some sort of defense.

Here you're defenseless and you are just sitting there and allowing yourself for whatever money they're given for whatever they get for about, which I can't imagine is much, to

absolutely, positively

have some sort of brain issue, I think.

I don't think there's any way around it unless your skull case is so dense, how on earth can you not step out of that ring and not have some sort of

issue that's going to pop up at some point?

Long-term CTE is fucking a real thing.

I don't understand how this is legal.

That's what it's saying here in the neurologists.

It's licensed in Nevada, so I guess that's where they do everything from.

But yeah, the neurologists are saying that the show is a recipe for disaster due to how impact of the head from an angle can cause rotational forces on the brain, leading to hopefully temporary but sometimes permanent disruption to brain function and even more serious complications.

I mean, this could really only last until there's the first

catastrophic injury, and that would probably be coma or death.

And then it can no longer go forward because who on earth,

what fucking Roman gladiator shit are we fucking doing if we're watching people just see, well, how much, how much

slapping can I take before I have to fucking just succumb

to

my brain being fucking pounded around my skull?

Oh, there's pay discrepancies in the power slap league.

The initial offers for fighters could be as low as $2,000 for both participation and victory.

That fucking emergency room visit the night after you get slapped into unconsciousness is going to cost more than that fucking payday.

It's insanity.

Yeah,

it's a very strange event.

Because at least in these other,

where you have CTE

type of sports like QSET boxing or

the MMA, you are able to defend yourself and you're just not sitting there defenseless where you have no

way of

shielding a blow that could be

fatal, I would think.

It's beyond words that this is something that can be illegal.

In an interview before the show, Air Dana White said, in slap they take three to five slaps per event.

Fighters in boxing take 300 to 400 punches per fight.

And guess what?

You know what my answer is to that is?

If you don't fucking like it, don't watch it.

Nobody's asking you to watch this.

Oh, you're disgusted by it?

Watch the voice.

It says Daytona White.

Wow.

I've never watched The Voice, but I'm not saying I just can't believe that there are people who are willing to do this, though.

Like, because you have to, it says here that it has to be like below the eye, but above like,

so are there rules?

So there are rules.

But that doesn't mean that somebody's game is going to be true.

Yeah.

Look, I get it.

Like, I know he's calling me a fucking wet kitty, but he is.

I just can't believe that there are other people who are so bloodthirsty, who are so fucking amped up to see somebody violently knocked out

that they're like, oh, I don't like boxing because they can defend themselves.

I want to watch a defenseless fucking guy get knocked out.

That's what I want to pay them.

See,

I just love the way they go lifeless.

The way they drop.

Man, you could do anything to them in that state.

I don't get it.

And you have to see the other thing in sports news that I fucking blew my mind.

Do you see about this fucking young girl who was a chess player?

No.

She wanted to win this chess

tournament.

So she wanted to win it so badly, she got caught fucking smearing mercury on her opponent's chess pieces to get her sick to drop out of her mother.

Oh, oh my god, really?

How old is she?

She's probably like 18.

Really?

She's got to be from Russia, right?

That's not an extra.

Yeah, those fucking, yeah, those Russians love to fucking use mercury.

Yeah, they love to win chess, too.

And you think to yourself, now you say, they always get caught too, but I don't think to myself, you know what?

They probably only get caught probably two out of fucking 20 times I use mercury on somebody.

There's lots of mercury poisonings that have gone unexplained.

I mean, could you imagine the fucking guy who was like, what is that on the chess piece?

We got to test this.

And then, like, yeah, it came back.

It's Mercury.

What the fuck do we do?

Like, we got to sit her down and be like, oh, she's got to go to jail.

Oh, without a doubt.

But it's like.

It was an older lady.

It was a 40-year-old chess coach.

Oh, it was a coach.

Yeah, she was accused of trying to poison her rival, 30-year-old.

You know what?

They called Belichick a cheater.

You know, at least he never fucking spread Mercury

on a football that the opposing team was throwing around.

But how badly do you want it, Q?

That's really you want it bad if you want really to fucking.

I don't know how you want it more than you want to be not the type of person that poisons other people.

Like, to me, that would be way more important than winning a fucking stupid chess game.

Have you ever won something so bad in your life that you're like, mercury?

No.

No, then maybe there were.

That's an interesting question.

Maybe there were things that I wanted bad enough to kill for him, but I couldn't even name that, but definitely not Mercury.

Well, I think it's so insidious.

I think the

excuse will be, or

the defense will be, well, I didn't want to kill her.

I just wanted to make her have to go get sick enough to drop out.

Well, good enough for me.

Fucking maniacs.

That's what a lot of fucking a lot like you watch a lot of forensic files, but did you ever notice a lot of fucking mensa people who murder they use poisoning as a preferred method of choice?

Women and really smart people.

Yeah, they always fucking go to poison.

And you know why?

Doctor?

Yeah, because they're so non-confrontational.

Like they don't want to get their hands dirty, so they fucking use poison like a fucking

like as Dana White would call them.

They fucking go watch the voice if you're fucking fucking use a gun or a knife.

All right, let's see.

We got some spots here, boys.

We got more.

Yeah.

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That's the only underwear I wear, but but I don't have a real batwinging problem.

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And I've seen a lot of bats.

You know, I've been to zoos, seen a lot of documentaries about bats.

Never once did I see bat wings and thought, man, those look like my balls.

Never?

Never.

Say it out loud in front of everybody.

The dark bat wing of the

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Hey, Dad, don't those look like like my balls?

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We have one more.

I'll wait on that for a little bit, but we also have

an aunt who's asked us to read some paper here.

Q.

Yeah.

Our friend Tommy Lincoln up in Syracuse has a design agency and art gallery, and in celebration of 10 years in business, he's throwing an art and design conference on September 6th.

They're going to be having slap fights.

Tommy has been helping Tom Steve Dave behind the scenes with artwork, websites, Patreon, and hand jobs for the last eight years.

Oh, hand jobs?

I didn't approve that.

For the last 10 years of his company, Stay Fresh has been creating artwork, shooting photography, and building online experiences for clients both nationally and locally in central New York.

Now he's bringing some of the people that have inspired him and he's worked with over the years to Syracuse to share them with his local art and design community.

He's bringing in designer and illustrator Jesse Hernandez, also known as Urban Aztec.

Now, we're not cool, so we're not going to know these names.

I think those are popular names in the graffiti.

I believe you're right.

right yeah like they usually be bigwigs but so we don't run in those circles no did you ever did you ever graffiti anything i've never graffitied anything yeah i don't have that i don't have that urban style you know big bubble letters i'm like i'm like they they say i have white vanilla style okay yeah i don't know why that's what they're saying about you

i don't have the flair to do fucking note that cool you don't have the streets in you

i don't have that flair that those those guys have in the in the city and when when they tag something.

Yeah.

Yeah, it looks cool.

I did, I could never do that.

It does look cool, yeah.

Yeah.

I would just draw like fucking

Homer Simpson or something, something corny and shit.

And you'd be like, oh my God, look at that.

Let's get this guy out of our grave.

It doesn't even deserve a nickname.

Artist and creative genius behind Retro Go-Go, Doug and Kristen Pagosh, an artist 1,000 styles.

And from Patreon, Laura Goldfarb.

Laura is actually the head of top creator management and has worked with Walt and Tommy on the Patreon pretty much from its inception.

So there will be some Tom Steve Dave discussion there.

It's a day full of talks and workshops, followed by an after-party with dinner catered by dinosaur barbecue and music from a local garage and surf rock band.

Tommy's fellow TSD AV club member, Chuck Staton, is actually going to be there filming all day and hanging out.

Chuck's going to be there, it says.

So if you're into some pretty cool art and design stuff and you live near Syracuse, check it out.

Head over to Tommy's website, stayfresh.design backslash shop.

It says to check snag tickets and more info.

I don't know what that means.

Probably to get tickets and more info.

You probably mean to watch it.

What does dinosaur barbecue mean?

I think that's the name of the restaurant that's.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, it's very good up there.

That Syracuse location is fucking awesome.

I've been there a few times at that dinosaur barbecue.

Okay.

We got one more.

Might as well knock this one out.

This is Raycon.

Look at that.

This is Raycon.

This is easy because we love them.

Well, it says, please personalize by sharing your favorite part of back-to-school shopping as a kid.

Oh, man.

Oh, yeah.

Mall, just getting dropped off at the mall with 25 bucks,

you know, trying to make that stretch.

Yeah, right.

Fucking five outfits.

The Trapper Keepers.

And you guys, Trapper Keepers was a little after you guys, right?

No, we still had Trappers.

You had Trapper Keepers?

No, we had Mushley Finders.

Sure, those I had too, but Trapper Keepers were like the hip version of it.

I don't think that that was our era.

Yeah, we might have missed it.

Yeah.

Man, we trapper keepers took over.

Like, everybody had their own individual one.

Everybody

wanted a Trapper Keeper that spoke to themselves.

You could custom make them and shit like that.

It was fun.

Did they have any licensed characters on the Trapper Keepers?

Like, movies?

Yeah.

Sure, did.

They got your Batman's, just Superman.

Actually, I don't think I had a licensed one.

I think I just had a blue one with some stripes on it, some shit like that.

Sounds very vanilla.

Yeah.

White vanilla.

I wish I could.

You're no graffiti artist.

No, that's true.

I'm not.

But yeah, but I was excited about them traffic keepers.

The one thing I don't remember is getting headphones to go back, but it's a different world.

Oh, yeah.

Dear buds, you know, now you need them for your computers in school and on the bus, so you don't have to listen to everybody.

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And even on even on Sunday after watching the

Freddy's with Q, my weekend still wasn't over.

I still had Monday, which was a full day of Patreon stuff, which was pretty fun.

What was Monday?

Monday we did our Sunday chef.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

Sunday chef was very fun.

So we did Sunday chef, and then I took Mary Beth for our fourth anniversary to go see Marilyn Manson.

Something that

I wasn't really stoked about.

I'm not a big Marilyn Manson fan.

Like, I told you, I was texting with Walt, and I said I knew probably like four of the 13 songs that he played.

I'm not real caught up on Manson.

Do you remember the Urban Myth queue?

What, he had like ribs taken out to suck his dick?

Was that it?

Yep, yep, that was it.

Yeah.

Or all the girls he raped, which was the urban myth that

wasn't he the one?

That was the myth.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

I said that to Mary Pippa.

I was like, what about all these stories you hear about?

Are you sure you want to see them?

She's like, it's Marilyn Manson.

So I guess he gets a pass.

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

I was like, it's Ron Jeremy.

What do you think is going to happen?

Yeah, I guess.

I never bought his act.

It always looks so corny to me.

Oh,

I have to say, say,

but this is good.

This is a great example for some aunts who are ready to write some emails about me liking things

and they don't like them.

But I do like his shtick.

I like that pale, powder,

white,

what's it called, contacts,

the freakish way he looked and how jarring he was.

And he had one really great song, The Beautiful People.

I'll ask you this, though.

Like, if that myth, that really should have been dispelled quicker because how hard would it be?

How much doctor shopping would you have to do before you found a doctor who'd be like, Yeah, Doc, I want to remove a couple of my ribs so I can suck my own dick?

And he's like, All right, let's schedule you for surgery.

Like, what doctor is going to do that?

What doctor would believe it?

It's like, bro, you're a major rock star.

How many girls will do this?

Why do you want to do it yourself?

Probably in LA or Florida, you could find someone.

No, wait.

You really think there's doctors that would do this?

Yeah, I do.

I do this thing for you.

But

they could not book it in a hospital then.

Yeah, but some of these places, with the money he makes and the money he spends, they have private clinics and stuff like that.

Why would they say no?

Why wouldn't they be like, fuck, man, this guy wants to pay me six figures?

You swore a Hippocratic oath to fucking do no harm.

And you're fucking removing ribs just to fuck if someone can blow themselves i mean my dad had a bunch of ribs taken out due to cancer he seems all right are you sure yeah how do you see them lately what's what's the up

unfortunately like the ribs are on the upper part like he didn't he didn't even get some fun dick sucking powers out of it or nothing like that

oh that'd be funny if it was all a fucking cover

but can you imagine like he has to have other people in the room though if this is a private clinic and the nurses and the anesthesia anesthesia the with the person who gives the anesthesia,

they'd be like, Why is he having his ribs removed?

What's the medical procedure?

And the doctor has to come up with some reason

to slow himself.

He's like, No, I don't think he has to.

I think he's like, Nurse, you want that paycheck this week?

All right, scalpel.

There are people with fucking scruples, Q.

Money is not going to buy all of them.

They don't work in the fucking

plastic surgery industry in LA and fucking, you know, they just don't.

They're making these poor women walk around looking like fucking cats and wolves and shit, you know?

And that's their faces.

Why the fuck wouldn't they take out a rib or two?

Because what are, how do you,

how do they know he won't have a need for those ribs at a certain point?

It'll be, it'll be detrimental to him as he grows older.

I don't think they give a fuck.

Flop over, you know, if he takes a curve, takes a hard turn, he could be flopping all over the place while he's driving without those ribs.

Oh, you fucking, if you want this, the doctor and the nurses, they'll be at the bank cashing the fucking check.

I'll come back.

You are so jaded.

You got to get out of Hollywood and come to fucking.

You think

Hollywood, I'm about standing on

the bus.

You don't think that, like...

I mean, just the fact that there's even like a plastic surgery industry like that out there is like not indicative that people will...

Breast implants for years were poisoning women's bodies.

And they were like, yeah, they're safe.

Let's put them in.

Yes, that is a good argument.

That's a stronger argument.

But I do think the plastic surgery industry wasn't created, though, with this kind of vapid

requests.

I don't think that's what made people go in.

It's probably like World War I, where guys are coming back disfigured and shit.

Yeah, I think it was a more worthy, more

honorable

service or medical industry.

I agree.

It has been fucking hijacked, but to do some pretty fucking

stupid and useless shit, but I still don't think you could get a doctor to sign off.

I'm going to remove these ribs.

Aren't there stories of doctors putting in butt implants for women and they're filled with sawdust and shit like that?

That's in Mexico, though.

And that's usually like, yeah, like

unlicensed people.

They put like cement mix and stuff in their buttons.

So those aren't doctors.

Sure, but my point is that there are people that will do this stuff in the world.

Just because they're north of the border doesn't mean that they're suddenly not going to be like, I'll take out some ribs.

Yeah.

Like, you think Barrel of Manson had to go south of the border to get those ribs taken off?

No, that's what I'm saying.

I don't think he had to go fucking 20 feet from his house if he didn't want to.

Yeah, no.

Wow.

I don't think that's true.

I don't think it's true.

I don't think he did it, but I do think if he wanted to, he could get someone to take his ribs off.

Yeah, I think there are people out there that would do it.

There's some pretty shady doctors, unscrupulous doctors, some shady doctors out there, yeah.

That are like, you know.

And do both ribs have to come out of one side or do one rib on each side?

I don't know.

It's a great question.

I would imagine

how many ribs are there?

One on each side.

Get them?

12.

You could speak.

12, I believe.

I'll check.

It's his first on-mic contribution since the trial queue.

Wow.

That's correct.

The typical human thoracic cage consists of 12 pairs of ribs.

So, can you survive with just 10 of them?

So, you're only removing one set, one pair.

We don't know.

There's 24 ribs.

Okay.

So, you want.

There's 24 ribs.

Okay, yeah.

I would say probably, yeah.

I'm sure there's people who've been born with genital defects, so they don't have a full rib cage.

All sucking their own dicks, no doubt.

And for the longest time, people thought women had less ribs than men because of the Bible.

But that's not true.

It's not true.

So, if a woman had her ribs removed, could she lick her kitty?

Let's hope so.

That would be a new fucking porn fucking sensation, right?

I'm sure there actually are some gymnasts that probably can't remove it.

There's got to be, yeah, I would imagine.

I hope so.

Yeah, I don't want to live in a world where that doesn't happen.

You don't see that in the Olympics.

Forget breakdancing.

It's just rolling This is rolling around like fucking potato bugs slicking their own fucking boxes.

I'd watch.

I can't lie.

I'd be like,

that's appointment viewing.

So, how long was the Marilyn Manson concert?

The actual show is probably, well, we got there for a band that I told you was called Slaughter, but it was actually a band called Slaughter to Prevail, which it's one of those like Screamo type bands where I'm like, I cannot understand a goddamn word this guy is saying.

And they were on for probably like a half hour, and then then Marilyn Manson came on, and I would give him a good, like, probably close to an hour.

Is everybody there to see him?

There were a lot of people there to see Manson because we didn't stay for the main band.

He wasn't the main band?

No, he wasn't even the main band.

He was like

Five Finger Death Punch.

I had never, I was not familiar with that.

Is that kind of like limp biscuit shit?

I don't know.

To tell you the truth, I'm not sure.

You didn't stay for it?

No, we didn't stay.

We left.

Oh, wow.

Because she didn't know who they were, and I don't like seeing bands rot on the bottom.

Do you want to just sample a little bit and see if you liked it?

Nah.

You want to fucking grow grow and maybe

i had a rough week

i was hosting i was talking to arthur fondzarelli it's like ryan wake up manson's on uh

it almost was that it because the actual show i gotta say like if man is listening right now you can't totally backlight yourself and put smoke on the stage because you can't see

Like that was what would be my one big complaint.

Like the sound, the sound quality, especially for the first band, I was like, I can't hear guitars.

I can't hear hear anything.

It just sounded like noise.

And then

when Manson came on, the sound was a little better, but they had all these like, not crosses, but they were like shapes.

They looked like crosses.

TVs?

No, they didn't have any TVs.

TV shaped as crosses.

That's what he used to do.

Oh, really?

Like his stacks of TVs and then a cross.

Oh, no, these are just like the cross things.

And then these big white flashing lights behind him.

So it's like most of the time you couldn't see see them.

And we weren't far away.

We were pretty close.

Did he come out on stilts?

Nope.

Didn't come out on stilts.

Nope, but he did wear like certain hats that he wore from different eras, I guess, like the motorcycle cap era.

I'm sorry, man.

Yeah,

you got to see the hat version rather than the stilt version.

You got fucking gypped.

That's what Mary Beth said.

She goes, I liked it.

I really liked it.

She goes, I think I would have loved it 10 years ago.

Yeah, when he was in his prime, he could get on the stilts when he was in the middle of the day.

He could get up on the stilts.

Yeah, he's like, I'm not walking.

Like, he did have those big, chunky boots, though.

He's still wearing them around.

And he still has, like, you know, the makeup and all the contacts and all that stuff.

And I do like that, too.

I do love that horror aspect of it.

It's just the music I'm not really familiar with.

She was.

She knew every song.

She's singing along.

She's like, she can understand his words, too, though.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That's a big plus in my book.

Yeah, the first guy, I was just like, fucking forget it.

Like, if someone were to say, I'll pay you to fucking decipher one lyric.

One lyric.

I would be like, I'm sorry.

I'd like the money, but I can't.

Yeah.

And then

our next show is going to be there anyway.

It's supposed to be Rob Zombie again.

Yeah, looking forward to that.

Yeah, that should be pretty good.

Much more clear.

That should be fun.

Hopefully, he changes the set list.

I was hoping the same thing.

I hope it's not the same as last time.

Yeah.

Hopefully, he I would get bored if I was a performer if I didn't change the set list, you know, from time to time, just add some deeper cuts once in a while.

Yeah, you know what?

My buddy, Piggy D, is now in Marilyn Manson.

He's not in Rob Zombie anymore, the bassist.

I saw, I didn't ask him about it, but I wanted to.

I did see a post where he was like,

you know, thank you to this one and that one and this one.

You know, I'm now joining Marilyn Manson.

But in that post, he did not thank Rob Zombie.

So I'm wondering if there's some bad blood there.

It's very possible, you know.

That's a

glaring omission.

Yeah, you've been with him for a while, so I wondered if something had happened.

Manson doesn't have his band doesn't go with the with these with the model as the first name and the

and the serial killer as the as the

second name?

Not anymore.

They used to, I think.

All the band members were models like Twiggy,

Marilyn,

and then they would have serial killers as their last name, which was a a fucking great hook.

I mean, do you remember how fucking he the world was on fire?

Like, he was public enemy number one.

People hated him.

They blamed him for Columbine.

They blamed him for everything.

Even when that bad credit or that bad press goes away, it's got to be detrimental to your fucking, your bottom line of it.

Oh, sure.

Yeah.

Yeah.

You want people talking about you regardless.

Unless it's like they were talking about him recently with his

saying he was mentally and physically abusive to

his girlfriends and stuff.

He had to quickly fucking, hey, I just removed three more ribs.

Forget about all that fucking assault shit.

Yeah.

I could lick my asshole for the fun.

I did take a look around, though, because I said to, you know, like I said to Mary Beth, I was like, ah, none of his charges bother you, you know?

And she's like, yeah, it's Maryland Metz.

And I think there was a lot of like-minded people there.

I don't keep up on it.

Was he found guilty or was he?

I don't think so.

I think it was just one of those things that was

brought out, and then he sort of like caught some shit for it, but it went away.

I will say this.

Go ahead, Q.

No, I was in Manhattan the other day, and there was this girl walked by me.

She was young, early, mid-20s, beautiful, wearing a crisp brown shirt.

I was like, wow.

I was like,

rocking the merch down the block, you know, and if you, and he sells out, like, he's doing great.

So, I guess there were just people who were like, hey, it's not a concern of mine.

I like it.

I like their music.

You know,

what are you going to do?

I can't judge Chris Brown listeners, I guess.

I don't know.

Yeah, there's like a whole,

I'm looking at the

at billboard.com and it's a whole timeline of the

allegations and stuff.

What I was going to say earlier was

I couldn't believe.

Now, it's not like there were Legion, but I saw two kids who were small enough to have binkies and ride on their parents' shoulders, and then siblings that were probably no older than four or five at this Marilyn Manson concert, no hearing protection, no like headphones over their ears or anything.

And it's just like, I don't know if you think you're the cool parent,

but I think people are looking at you like you're the asshole parent.

Yeah, we have to be.

I mean, you maybe give them the benefit of a doubt.

They didn't realize how loud it was going to be.

Yeah, I mean, you're that old and you have kids and you have to have been to a concert before.

Yeah, that's tough.

Yeah, I don't want to give them the benefit of the doubt.

I don't think they deserve it here.

Usually I go with a baggie of earbuds, of protection, so I could have walked over and given them some if I was there.

Or just like taken license and just stuffed them into the ears without asking.

Teddy's getting restless.

Oh, is there a dog under the table?

Yeah,

he wants to go home.

All right.

Oh, boy.

Teddy's

trying to say, Tom, Steve, Dave, in dog language.

Say it around the asshole.

Tell them, Steve.