#603: The Eel and the Lime

Hey, Walt here, and I just want to take a quick moment to hip everyone listening to some of the recent content on the TESD Patreon.

Now, in the past, I don't think we really pimped the Patreon really hard because you know there were concerns about hammering people with the hard sell.

But lately, I've been talking with listeners who say they've never sampled any of the shows or content that's available on the Patreon.

So, I thought we'd be remiss if we didn't do at least a couple of commercials and give people an idea of what we're up to over there.

So, with that, we are extremely excited about Tuesday, August 6th release, Bri Tries, the podcast where Bri tries his hand at various hobbies.

Bri and I interview hobby experts in the field of bottle collecting and crocheting.

And I truly believe people will be having making hay vibes after they've seen or listened to this episode.

So, I know that's pretty lofty, but let's hear a few clips.

Declan, if you would please.

So, I always have a digging, buddy.

If you're in a dump, you know, a wall could collapse, it's not shored up, right?

It could collapse.

This is a dangerous hobby.

Could you imagine that?

Like, you need a buddy to go look for bottles?

Yeah, like, I feel like my bench is not that deep as far as digging buddies go.

You call up Q, you're like, you know, want to go out and be my bet, my bottle buddy.

Yeah, I'm like, what are you doing today?

He's like, yeah, just sitting around being rich.

I'm like, hey, I got a better idea.

Let's go to some privy pits.

You're my bottle buddy.

Yeah.

In case a fucking wall caves in on me, I need you.

We decided we would pick up Gidem to show us the location of the bottle dump.

What do we want us to do, Giddam?

I'm just trying to, right now I'm just trying to figure out.

Look at him, he's like a shaman now.

Yeah, he's like feeling the earth.

He's trying to feel for the glass.

The boy of the earth talks too.

It's hard.

The sound of gunfire is just so unsettling.

Yeah, it really is.

Because it sounds close now.

It sounds really close.

That was real gunfire.

Could you imagine one of us gets like picked off and just nicked or something, you you know if somebody misses they're their target and all of a sudden we just get hit out there yeah who would find you that's why you need a bottle buddy

for instance the cheeseman's cough cure right there that's the one-of-a-kind bottle that i dug that's the cheeseman piece yes

as if i've heard of it before right

diamond

well what i tell you and if those clips were enough to sell you this episode features for the very first time ever on camera Giddam's fabled bottle dump.

Still not convinced?

Then how about this?

For this very special episode, all tiers, including the $5 tier, will get both audio and video of this historic episode of Bry Tries.

So go over to the TESD Patreon now and join in on the fun, as every Tuesday, a new podcast is released with an array of TESD town residents.

And I'm very, very proud to say we have never missed an episode drop in the history of the Patreon.

Okay, enough of the hard sell.

Back to the show.

We fall for the same shit.

Time after time

after time.

So, this sounds awfully suspect.

It does it?

How do you win that, though?

Like, you have to just by fucking dropping six beats, man, and popping and locking.

What are you talking about?

tell him steve dave hello and welcome to this week's edition of tell him steve dave

live

from the general store down in hazlitt new jersey with walt flanagan hello and in studio be q hello

here we are boys

what's up well what's the word i couldn't find my chair but i guess it's holding the games it is your chair this is the queue on it that's a q chair

because it's the queue.

You're okay.

You're there.

It's behind me.

It's in the past.

Big news.

Big news.

Well, not news, I guess, but the big topic would be.

I had to stop you, I had to stop you from talking to Rupp about it, Deadpool Wolverine.

Yes.

Seemed like you really loved it from what I see on Instagram.

I had a blast, man.

Yeah, I took, I got to go to the premiere.

Very lucky.

But who was luckier than me is my nephew who came to stay with me for a week.

I saw that.

I saw him in the the picture.

Just happened to fucking pick the week where he stepped off the train for Virginia and like a half hour later he was on a red carpet.

His eyes were like spinning in his head.

Oh, so he basically comes from like a town from a population of 80 in Virginia and then comes

and you're thrust into like, you know, the

like the fast-paced world of fucking Marvel Universe celebrities.

Chris Evans was there, right?

Yeah.

Just Deadpool himself was there.

We saw them all.

We saw them.

We didn't talk to him.

We saw them all.

He was most excited to meet the guy who does Hotwings, Sean.

He does a great job.

He was excited to meet him.

He had no idea who InSync was.

I didn't know Fatone was going to be there.

How old?

He's 15.

Oh, man.

Just a baby.

And he was hanging around with all the guys from InSync.

And

I was like, you know how happy

a bunch of people would be to be who you are right now.

And he was like, what are you talking about?

People who would kill to be in your position right now.

Yeah, he's like, he was more impressed with the visual of Fatone's girlfriend than

anything else.

But of course, we all are.

Who isn't?

Yeah, he's quite a beautiful lady.

But yeah, it was great.

I loved the movie, man.

Loved it.

Loved it.

Did you saw it, Walt?

Yes, I did see it.

You saw it?

You didn't see it?

I saw it.

Yeah.

I told Walt yesterday, the 60% that I understood I loved.

Yeah.

But like, I can tell, like, as I'm watching it, I'm like, it's so much to take in.

Like, so much that I'm like, I probably have to see it again.

Yeah.

Because I know, I don't get them all, but I know there's references being thrown out.

That's interesting.

I know that, like, I know in the moment that there's fan service being done, but I'm like, since I don't know that much about these other characters,

you know, like the

guys that

are doing a spoiler alert on this, so we could talk about it?

Should we?

Yeah, I guess so.

It's been a week, two weeks by the time this gets released or something, right?

Yeah.

If you haven't seen it by now, shame on you.

Yeah, just skip.

But there's plenty of YouTube videos that'll explain

all the references and Easter eggs.

Oh, yeah.

It's like.

I should watch that and then go see it again.

Yeah, they'll give you a rundown of every little minute detail, you know, even things that I'm like, wow,

someone's paying way more attention than I am.

Yeah, but it was just fun.

It's just a fun movie.

And it's like, except for when Wolverine's in it, it never slows down.

You thought Wolverine slowed down?

A little bit.

I mean, compared to when Deadpool's in it, sure.

Sure.

That's the only time that I would see it slowed down a little bit.

And time stopped when fucking Hugh Jackman took his shirt off.

And I'm like, this is not a human being.

He's 55.

Yeah, I told Will yesterday,

you know, that was a moment where I'm like, she's not going to be thinking about me tonight.

She shouldn't.

No, no.

Not with Hugh Jackman up there.

But she was like, how old is he?

You know, because we went to lunch afterwards.

And I was like, I don't know.

He has to be like my age, I guess.

And then like, she's already on her phone.

She's like, no, he's younger.

He's only 55.

When you get into the female equivalent of Wolverine shape, then come at me.

Sure.

Christ, this guy probably worked for a year to do this so that he could be on, I mean, his abs could be on camera for, what, 30 seconds?

Well, I was talking to one of the producers after the movie, and I was like...

I was like, how'd you get him to get back in that shape?

I was like, because he's been in that shape for 20-something years now.

It can't be fun.

And he said the real problem was like they had to stop down during the pandemic, and him and Ryan Reynolds had to stay in that shape

during the pandemic.

That was filmed all the way back then?

Yeah.

Yeah.

He goes, it was.

In 2020?

Well, whenever the shutdowns was.

Well, remember, there was a whole everybody had the virus to testing if one person got sick.

And they had to shut down at one point.

He's like, those poor motherfuckers

had to stay in that shape.

They could have just eat like everybody else did.

No, it was boiled rice and broccoli and like bits of chicken and shit like that, he was saying.

Somebody was saying that he had to wake up like every three hours to do, to eat protein or something because otherwise he couldn't get into that shape.

At this point, can't they just CGI it for him so he can

there's got to be a part of him that's like, no, I'm want to do it.

Like, I'm not coming back unless I'm doing it, right?

Right.

Like,

you know, because he had said he wasn't coming back, right?

Yeah.

How quickly does that,

like, if you don't keep up with that regimen, how quickly does it start to like fade away?

I mean, I love that you think I know anything about that regimen

my nickname is fade away

but how quickly do you think it all starts to like is it like a week I mean that pristine shape

god it's you got to start I mean it's got to be a couple of weeks before you start losing the definition of the bulges on the stomach you know I read like with Brad Pitt an in-fight club.

It's like he wouldn't drink water for a couple of days so that he'd become dehydrated.

Then you can see.

Try for fucking 50 years, bitch.

Then come out.

Drinking water now on a hard bike.

Yeah, like it it once even drank water, the definition started to disappear.

That's crazy.

So, yeah, I think it's probably a couple of weeks before you start to see noticeable changes in what was once looked like you were carved from marble to like, like how did all those motherfuckers back in Sparta land do it because they didn't have that kind of like if we're to believe the movies I guess that that's the kind of shape these guys well I've seen the pictures the drawings too though yeah and they're drawing they're all ripped they're all ripped and stuff and

you don't think that they they wouldn't be

so vain back in whenever it was whatever BC it was

to be like well we have to make these our warriors look like they're muscular I wouldn't think it mattered it wouldn't matter and there's there's no like PR, so it's like

well, maybe for them it was just like necessity.

Like, I don't even think like even somebody out of shape wouldn't be something that would be like up, wouldn't be no big deal.

There was no body image back then, probably, I wouldn't think.

I don't know.

You don't think there were guys that were like judging fat chicks and stuff back in the day?

I don't think so.

I think they have

a lot more things to worry about, other than like, yeah, then

I guess if your life defended on you being able to overcome adversary and enemies and

nature, you know, you would probably just naturally be in good shape, no?

But like you Jackman shape, though?

That's where they were depicted in the drawings that I've seen.

Do you think they had a little PR going back then in

the

old days?

I don't think we had an apple.

See, I would be shocked if they were like, make me look more muscular.

Did they even know what muscles were back then?

Well, they also had nothing else to do besides like workout,

and there was no trans fat or you know what I mean?

It was all that was just eating from the garden.

Yeah, you're right.

You know,

so it was easier back then to look like a third.

Life was probably harder, but yeah, it was probably easier to look a certain way.

Yeah, you don't have time to get like

become a couch potato.

They're not arguing on Twitter

like men do today.

That's where our warriors are.

The keyboard variety The world, one stroke at a time.

I wonder, though, like, were you allowed to fight?

Like, let's say everybody's like, they're getting all psyched up.

They're ready to invade whatever country.

And a guy who's in the same shape as me shows up, like, all right, guys, who are we fighting?

See, I don't know.

I think you hang back.

I think they hang way back.

I think they're like, oh, this is going to sort itself out

in about 20 minutes.

Here's your sword, bro.

Good luck.

But let's say a guy

who was injured in a previous battle, you know, maybe does have to, between battles,

he has to recuperate.

Maybe he doesn't have enough time to be working in the fields or picking up rocks and building fucking temples and shit.

Maybe he does get a little flabby around the middle.

I still don't think that that was anything to raise an eyebrow.

Like, especially when they're getting off the boat and they're seeing the, you know, two armies are running at each other.

I don't think one of them was like, oh, we got this.

Look at that fucking guy with the fucking paunch.

No way.

I don't think it mattered.

Yeah, I mean, the Vikings weren't known for being like, weren't they known for being big burly guys?

Yeah, like bigger.

Like Christian.

Yeah.

So, yeah, probably not.

Yeah, I just, I can't imagine.

I remember looking up the 300 workout

when that movie came out.

And I was like, you know, into working out at the time and shit.

And I read that workout.

I'm like, no.

Like, the only way that you would do it that you could be fully committed is if somebody's paying you a bunch of money to do it, I think.

Yeah.

Or you're in the hopes of becoming like a muscle guy, like for a contest or something.

Yeah, otherwise, what's kind of the point?

Right, exactly.

To your vanity.

Yeah.

That's all it is.

I mean, I would love to get into

good shape again.

Snap a finger.

Yeah, it's got to be something that maintenance can be enjoyable, not like,

but, you know.

Yeah, you can't loathe it.

Yeah.

Yeah.

It's, you know.

Yeah, if it's, if it's that much, if like you detect, like, don't look forward to it at all, it'll never work.

Yeah.

Especially at my age, like, you know, we're hitting that thing where it's not as easy as it once was to even get out of bed, let alone fucking go to the gym.

Speaking of age, did you hear that Ming Chen hit the big 5-0?

Ming Chen hit 50.

When?

The Big 5-0?

Yesterday.

Oh, shit.

I gotta text him.

Yep.

Whoa.

Wow.

I was surprised at that and disheartened at the same time.

Really?

But yeah, because I thought he was 48.

And then Walt was like, hey, you know, it's the the big, because we recorded some comic book men for Patreon yesterday.

So Ming was here.

And Walt

congratulated him on the Big Five O.

And I was like, no, he's 48, isn't he?

Like, even these years have been escaping.

And I'm like, Ming Chen, little Ming Chen.

The boy wonder.

Is 50.

50.

And he keeps it up.

He keeps up that childlike glee.

That energy.

Yeah.

That he has.

He didn't give a shit.

He didn't think twice about potting on his birthday.

He's like, let's do it.

You know,

he's ready to go.

Yeah.

That could be it, too.

I think going back to Deadpool Wolverine, I think my favorite moment, favorite line, it just like, and if I was a bigger fan, I think it probably would even mean more, but when Blade was in it, and he's like, only one blade, only ever going to be one blade.

I was like, that's a nice, that's a nice line to give.

And then the fucking brilliance of just the

no spoken line, Deadpool just looks at the camera with.

You can see the smile that's not there.

You can see that, like, you know, like, oh boy, what is this poor sucker?

Doesn't know.

But I guess you're going to give out spoilers?

You're going to fucking risk the eye of the internet?

We're going to piss people off because we're going to give away spoilers.

Yeah, well, at least we told them.

You guys are scum.

The

blade, for me, by far, my favorite thing thing in the whole game.

Boy, do I wish it just became all of a sudden a threesome and it was just Blade, Wolverine, and Deadpool.

Like, that would have been an unbelievable fucking curveball.

It would have been amazing.

Yeah.

He, the reaction to him has been overwhelming.

Marvel has to be looking at this being like.

But why?

Why is this a surprise?

He was fucking awesome.

It's not a surprise to me.

That's what I'm saying.

Why is this something that, like, wow, I didn't think that people would react to Blade this way?

He was a fucking,

he was the original fucking Marvel Cinematic Universe star.

Why did they not realize that people would fucking gravitate and be so happy to see him back in that role?

Yeah.

He looked amazing.

The white hair they gave him.

I mean, like, that's the movie I want to see.

Yeah.

Is him.

Yeah, this, this new Blade that they're talking about that's coming out.

I mean, if it doesn't have him in it,

now they're going to, it's going to be, whoever has to play that role now is going to be like, well, I don't want to follow that reaction.

I can rewrite the script so it's a, so him and his son, or something like that.

You know what I mean?

And do it because, man, he even said one of my favorite lines in movies: bar none is him going some motherfuckers, always ice skating uphill.

Yeah.

And when they brought that back, I was literally like, I just felt joy in my heart, like actual joy in my heart.

I was like, oh, wow, they get it.

They get it.

They get it.

This fucking guy.

He looked when he had the knife up in the same position and stuff.

Yeah.

Jesus.

Brilliant.

And it's a testament that

Ryan Reynolds was like, okay, let's bring him back because I heard they had a fucking miserable time on Blade 3.

On Blade 3, he wouldn't even talk to Ryan Reynolds.

He wouldn't talk to the director.

He would close his eyes and

paint eyeballs on his eyelids

and

pretend that he was awake

while the director was talking to him.

He was a complete nut or nut job on this set of Blade.

I was at Trinity?

Yeah, Trinity was a little bit of a shot.

Yeah, that's why the last shot is so bad.

Because the last shot of the Blade Trinity is him on the slab, and then he opens his eyes, but he refused to open his eyes for camera.

Yeah.

So like CGI open eyes.

Oh, is that it?

Okay, maybe

I'm getting my stories fucking commingled.

It's terrible.

It looks so bad, but he just refused to open his eyes.

And they're like, come on, just do it.

Like, do it your way and our way.

And he's like, nah, fuck you.

i also liked um

the taking the shots at fox and disney and all that stuff like all that insider

yeah and get it in a way like like i thought really what they did with gambit was so perfect where they spent so much time making fun of him and making fun of the situation around it but then when the time came They're like, here's some fucking badass Gambit moments.

Him with the cards, him with the staff, him fighting.

And you're like, they get it.

Like, he gets it.

He just fucking gets why it's awesome.

But why was, what was the thing?

Because I didn't understand the Gambit thing.

I knew that there was some sort of story behind it.

The actors.

That's right.

He signed to play Gambit so many times over the years and tried to get different movies made.

He just couldn't get it off the ground all these years later.

And so that's kind of what he was making fun of.

Is he

a pretty big actor in Hollywood?

Johnny Tatum?

Yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Pretty big.

Oh, yeah.

He's got a lot of big, big movies under his belt.

The 21 Jumpstreet movie, 22 Jumpstreet movie was his.

He's got a ton of them, man.

I didn't recognize him, so I wasn't.

I've seen Matt with Mike or is that a different movie?

Magic Mike's him.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But he looked.

I mean,

come on, man.

I mean, they just showed you, whoever was in charge of that just showed you, like, hey, you know what people love?

Screen accurate costumes.

Yeah.

It took you fucking this long to figure it out.

And they were doing it as a joke, but then it's like,

fucking pretty goddamn good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm sorry, comic book accurate.

Right, Right, yeah, I know.

And then, and then Wolverine, when he fucking pulls the hood up, I heard like orgasms going off.

I forgot about the hood

until he pulled it up, and I was like, holy fuck, I don't know why I didn't see this coming.

There's like even nods to like comic book geeks, like there was the John Byrne

name drop.

Yeah, the store's name behind them and all that stuff.

Apparently, Gatto was supposed to be in it.

In the fight scene at the end, there's a woman who runs out of the store and then runs off to the left, and Ryan Reynolds make a joke about it.

Apparently, it was supposed to be Gatto at one point, and then because of the shutdowns on set or something, he wasn't able to do it.

Was the shutdowns for COVID or was it for a writer's strike?

I think they shot through the writer's strike.

Oh, okay.

Yeah.

But man, that fucking movie was four years in the making?

That's nuts.

Yeah, I read the, I went on Wikipedia and I read all about all three of them and what it took to like get them made.

It's crazy.

Like it's starting out in two thousand four or something.

Yeah.

And they finally got the movie made in what was it, twenty sixteen, I think, the first Deadpool?

Uh yeah, it was like the test footage he made of it and got it made or something, right?

Yeah, it was cool in the credits too, where he's like, I'd really like to play that character.

He comes off as so like innocent like when during the post.

Yeah, the wrap-up for Fox.

Yeah, that was pretty cool.

That was nice.

I thought Johnny Storm was great.

What they did with him was great.

Great ending.

Like the post-credit sequence was him.

You're just like,

I love that they made them make this movie.

Yeah, because I think it shows you the path now.

Yeah.

Here's the fucking path you should go down.

All that shit you've been doing.

Uh-huh.

Stop doing that.

Stop doing all that.

It didn't work.

Prince, stop it.

Stop.

How do you feel about Downey coming back as Doom?

Oh, you don't want to hear this.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that's not true.

I just don't know if, like, if it gets my, um,

it just doesn't give me the same boner that it that a lot of people are getting.

I'm just like, I'm sure he'll be fine.

I'm sure he'll do a great job, but like, I can't get at this stage of my life, it's like, yeah, it's like, oh, when's it coming out?

Oh, seven years?

I'm like, yeah,

let me back up again.

Let me take my temperature at that endpoint.

Right now, I don't give a fuck.

You don't care.

Yeah.

Yeah.

On one hand, you're like, Doom is such a good fucking villain.

I felt that, like, ah, why are they going to make him a Tony Stark variant?

Like, let's give us.

Oh, is that confirmed?

It's not confirmed, but I mean,

the second I saw that, I was like, oh, they're going to do Infamous Iron Man.

Which was a great, which I liked that run where Doctor Doom was Iron Man.

I don't have any insight.

I don't know anything.

Oh, okay.

But I just thought, like, I see what they're doing.

They're bringing him.

They're getting this Iron Man back, but it's going to be through this.

It's going to be Infamous Iron Man.

It could be wrong.

What the fuck do I know?

But

so I think that's cool.

I'm excited to see that seven years from now.

But a part of me is like, oh man, but what about Doom being his own standalone?

He's like one of the greatest villains of all time.

But I mean, I got to figure they know what they're doing.

I am excited for it.

I'm looking forward to it.

Sure.

Yeah, I mean, it's not like I was like,

I was like, all like pissing and shitting on it.

I just was like, I just can't get the same giant boner that a lot of fanboys.

Like Ming walked through the door with a boner still about it.

I don't need no blue chew.

He said people in San Diego, I guess, they announced it in Hall H or something, and he was like, fanboys were like crying practically.

Yes, he said

people were crying

leaving the

seminar or the panel.

Oh, Hall H.

Like, so emotional, like, over, overwhelmed with emotion that Downey was going to be doomed.

All right.

That's kind of what I'm talking about.

Yeah, yeah.

It's going to take a lot to get me there.

I mean, Wayne didn't get me there.

And if anybody was going to do it, it was him.

Yeah, I mean,

I don't know.

Hopefully, it's a good time.

Hopefully, going forward that they make some corrections.

I think that they've seen the errors of their ways, at least with the money this is making.

How can you go back now to the shit that they were trying to fucking jam and pushed out of everybody's throat now?

Well, my fucking stop.

I saw an article the other day that was like, my buddy sent it to me.

He goes, What do you think about this?

I never ended up seeing She-Hulk, so I don't know about it.

But like, the point of this article is like everything Teadpool did, She-Hulk did first, and She-Hulk did better.

And everybody said, and I was like, and I was like, ooh, that seems like an odd take, man.

Well, yeah, because I guess they were saying that like She-Hulk danced and twerked, and Deadpool dances.

So, like, but it didn't, it didn't upset fanboys when Deadpool does it, does it?

No, maybe you should look into why not.

Look,

I mean, guys our age, we're not fucking going to be fucking upset if we see some twerking.

It's just got to be the, it's got to happen organically and it has to fucking make sense.

It just can't be twerking for twerking's sake.

Is that what it was?

I didn't see it.

Yeah.

Right.

Well, I guess the argument could be like, well, why the fuck was in why was Bye-Bye Bye not for its own sake?

Because it totally fits that character.

She-Hulk is fucking a lawyer.

Exactly.

This is fucking Bugs Bunny in the Marvel universe.

He could all of a sudden break out into a dance and it fits the character perfectly.

Wow, Waltz.

You need a job in the industry because of him.

Oh, yeah, it's pretty funny.

But I loved it.

I want to see it again.

I got the popcorn bucket.

Did you?

Yeah, I got it.

Is that a new thing, the popcorn buckets?

Did you get two?

I didn't get two.

Okay.

Get him once one.

No, no, no.

I'm going to give it to Giddam.

No, okay.

Yeah.

I'm going to give it to Giddem.

Is that the new thing with movies now?

I think so.

Because Mary Beth wants to go see Alien, and she's like, I want to go the first day so I can get that popcorn bucket.

It looks really cool.

Yeah, I think it's a new, it's a new fucking thing.

We fall for the same shit.

Time after time after time.

Believe me, I've only now just opened my eyes.

I've only now,

it took me this long to realize, holy shit, you were fucking sheep being led to the fucking slaughter.

But yeah, they're fucking just now convincing people that a limited edition popcorn bucket is worth $50 to buy popcorn in a large soda.

That's oh, they're really expensive.

They're worth super expensive.

Yeah, I bought some Nestle Crunch a bunch and a medium soda.

$30?

Jesus, man.

How could that be?

$30?

It was like $28 something.

That's insane.

Yeah, I usually find that when I go with Sage,

the visit to the candy counter is far more expensive than the tickets are.

I remember when my mother took me to the movies as a kid, she would throw fucking all sorts of shit in her purse.

That's what my mother did, too.

It's like, we're back to those days.

But yeah, I got him the bucket.

I forgot to bring it today, but I did get it from him.

Supposedly, it looks like

it's Wolverine's mouth.

You just put

it.

It's pretty funny.

The one I kept was the Ghostbusters one because it was a trap.

And they had the purple bucket coming out of the trap, so it looked like the energy.

And the popcorn one, that one I'll keep.

But my plan is to get him that one.

I was wondering if Mary Beth stumbled across some of my writings.

Which writings?

Well, this was inspired by Deadpool, where I basically wrote an alternate timeline for myself that didn't include her or Sage.

Like, how much of a right does she have to be pissed at me?

I mean, is she mentioned at all, or is she in a grave?

She's not mentioned at all.

It's like she was never there.

But I'm like banging broads that like she knows their names.

Yeah, that one might have an issue.

Yeah, yeah,

yeah.

That's funny, though.

Yeah, man, great.

I thought every cameo had a point.

I'm glad they didn't just stuff people in there.

You know, just to have them in there.

Like, it seemed like everybody was there for a purpose.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I mean, yeah, it was

definitely, you know,

it lived up to its hype.

Yeah.

That rarely happens.

Yeah.

You know, and Disney can look at this and be like, also take this to heart too for Star Wars too.

Yeah.

You know?

Well, they haven't even made a fucking Star Wars movie in years.

Who knows when they're ever going to get back to that?

Oh, I'm sure it's coming.

Oh, it's definitely coming.

All right.

Yeah, great movie.

Highly recommend.

I definitely want to see it.

See it again.

Again.

Yeah, for sure.

For sure.

Has anyone been following the Olympics?

No, we've been working.

We're wrapping up the season, so it's like setting setting where it's like five, only two more days of shooting.

That's it, huh?

And they're both punishments, one for Mary, one for Sal.

So I'm

from this moment on, yeah.

But I've been underwater for a few weeks now, so I haven't seen anything.

But I heard Miles won a ton, huh?

Yeah, yeah.

And I heard that there were, I saw some clips of it because everybody's making a big deal about a satanic opening.

So I'm like, dude,

if anybody's into Satan and shit, it's going to be me.

So I'm like, fuck.

It wasn't a fun type of satanic.

Yeah, and I'm like, if you're going to to do a Satan and call it a Satanic opening, you know, throw it like for me personally, I like to see satanic, like when I think Satan, I think Slayer and, you know, heavy metal Satan.

There was no heavy metal Satan in that opening.

No.

So I was just kind of like, well, this is not satanic.

Well, it seems like anytime there's like drag queens or gay people involved, they call it satanic.

Like, there was that, remember that big fat guy?

That big fat singer?

I can't remember what his name was, but it was just like within the past year,

they were calling him Satanic because he was doing like some sort of like stage show.

But like the Drag Queen

Last Supper,

yeah, and I saw people mad about that too, and I'm just like, Uh-oh, this TSD has their own Last Supper image, yeah, that's how I was thinking too.

That's the exact same thing, we dodge the bullet,

yeah.

But I think that, like, their point was right that like if you did it about Muslims, it wouldn't

fly.

So, why not, though?

Why I think it would.

They're not as humorous,

They're not as committed to the gagging.

That's Christian's czar.

Somewhere along the line, their funny bone got worn down.

Kind of like that.

I didn't think it was insulting, but

I was like, yeah, but it's not cool either.

I was like, it's just.

Yeah, like, I don't know what it was like.

Well, it's meant to be provocative, it seems.

Like, they're doing it on purpose.

But if you're going to go fucking satanic, go full-on fucking backwards masking all of a sudden.

You know, throw in some fucking pentagrams flying around and shit.

Yeah, they have those

skulls.

Like, swoop a camera through there.

You know, have a fucking goat man fucking shamble up there all fucking walking weird with back like with backwards hooves and shit.

Do do it fucking right if you're going to go.

Yeah, some full eyes and a tits out.

Yeah, something like that.

Give you hope.

Yeah, to me, like, you got to go back to 80s Satan.

Yeah.

This 2024 Satan, Satan shit doesn't work for the game.

Yeah, It's not as cool as the 80s Satan.

Oh, well.

I mean, hey, it's anything as cool as it used to be, I guess.

Shit, man.

Let me see.

Sam Smith, that was the guy's name.

I don't know if you're familiar with him.

Oh,

yeah.

I mean, I know him from pop culture.

I don't really know him from.

I couldn't name a song of his, but I've heard of him.

Why, he was there?

He was in it?

No, no, but I remember that.

This is an article from Billboard that I'm just looking at right now.

How the Satanic Panic is back and how a bygone moral crisis returned with queer artists in its crosshairs.

So I guess they're saying that.

Well, Sam Smith could wear whatever he wants on stage at his shows and stuff like that.

Sure.

Well,

I mean, Bowie did it.

It's not like it's original.

No, it's like people are still falling for this shit.

Like, Bowie did it years ago.

I'm sure there were people before him.

But I mean, did we learn nothing from the 80s then?

No,

it's popcorn all over again.

Yeah.

It's popcorn buckets.

You know,

It's just in a different package differently.

It's fucking it's election season, so everybody's got to fucking throw their

outrage.

And like, did you check this out?

If you don't, if you don't, if you don't, if you hate this, then you've got to go this way.

And if you hate this, you've got to go this way.

It's just all fucking more orchestrated fucking nonsense.

Yeah.

But I don't even, I've never watched the Summer Olympics.

I'm looking back,

that's the one I've never actually paid attention to.

I'm not really into any of the summer sports.

Huh, not the flipping around, though.

No, no.

Soccer, the.

Oh, a soccer Olympic sport?

Yeah.

How come it's not as

sought after a victory as the World Cup then?

I think the World Cup is just for soccer, so maybe people put more of a premium on it, but I don't know.

Yeah, if there's a gold medal in soccer, then I'm surprised it's not as.

Maybe it is, and we just haven't been paying attention.

Oh, okay.

Yeah, but I'm not a soccer guy.

I'm not a basketball guy.

Definitely not a swimming guy.

So it's like none of the sports really resonate with me.

I couldn't even think, I can't think back to any time I ever watched the Summer Olympics.

Breakdancing?

That's not really fun.

They just added it this year, right?

Breakdancing is an Olympics.

How do you win?

How do you win that, though?

Like, you have to just.

I'm fucking dropping six beats, man, and popping and locking.

What are you talking about?

But I always find that when you have to, like, those

sports that you need someone to judge who's the best

are fucking very dicey.

Because I like sports where you're like, you beat your opponent.

I see.

You know, it's not, you didn't win because somebody else deemed you the winner.

Like, you spun on your head more times than the guy before you, so suddenly you're the breakdancing champ.

Oh, I never thought of it that way.

That's pretty.

Yeah, I like the sports where you have a clear-cut winner or loser, and you're not dependent upon a third party to determine or to deem who the best is.

But the winter, yeah, it just has more, well, I got hockey, which is the big one for me.

And winter sports just feel like it's more

fucking epic.

Snow just makes it feel more like, makes it more feel like.

Is there Greece and snow?

Is there what?

In Greece, is there snow?

I've never been to Greece.

I don't know.

Yeah,

I wonder if they even had Winter Olympics back then in Greece.

I don't know.

Yeah, I would not know the climate of Greece.

I know it's Mediterranean, so it's probably warm most of the time.

Yeah, I would think.

they even, I wonder if the Winter Olympics is something that was made up.

So they can make money on it.

So they can make money every other year instead of four years.

Speaking of making money.

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I almost rode my motorcycle today.

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Chest.

I guess so.

I buzz my chest.

Yeah.

Yeah, otherwise it gets too long.

Oh, wow.

Yeah, like

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Oh.

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Oh, it starts out.

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Yeah, I was getting it.

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Yeah, well, none down below yet, Walt.

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Speaking of gray hairs, it was pretty adorable.

We were out eating, and my youngest daughter had a lot of anxiety because she found one gray hair.

And she's, what is she, 21?

And she was like freaking out.

And I was just like, oh, I was like, I go, I was your age when I started to get like that, like when I found my first gray hair too.

Yeah, it's probably genetics.

I was going, and she was just like,

I would tell her, I told her the story about how, like, when your mom first met,

we would watch TV and I would sit in front of her and I would sit on the floor and she would find all the gray hairs.

and cut them out because there was like one or two or three in my head and she would just go through them and it was like, you know, like monkeys grooming us.

And I was like, oh man, she goes i wish we can go back to that and she goes you guys needed fucking hobbies

she goes how how on earth was that an evening out that like she would cut find the gray hairs in your in your head and cut them out simpler times simpler times we didn't have the internet

uh let's see one more using the internet without express vpn is like taking a call on a train or a bus on speaker for everyone they hear do you really want the whole train to know you're about your medical test results?

Well, it depends.

If they're good, sure.

Word name something you wouldn't want people to know about.

Lots of stuff.

There's lots of stuff I don't want people to know about.

I mean, most things.

Yeah, most things.

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Like, those fucking losers and maniacs.

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I have another what I would call a

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It's not an official ad.

Okay.

But I promised them

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Oh, boy.

Yep.

His girl

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Or I guess is that what you call it?

Masseuri is a guy.

You were immediately

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Yeah.

This is the word masseuse alone.

I guess a couple other people were not as respectful.

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All right.

Then he immediately asked me if I was still friends with Uncle Lloyd Kaufman.

So that's it.

That is it.

What else do I got here?

Oh, I have a good eel story in the butt if you want to hear that.

Yeah, I had an idea I wanted to run past you.

Yeah, go ahead.

Because I'm rereading Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, which is, you know, I love Chuck Barris, created a dating, right?

The dating game.

And I was like,

yeah, but I was thinking, like,

what if we did a

dating show for Get him?

Where we get three 13 percenters who want to vie for his hand, and like we set up and get him to ask him the questions, and maybe go out on a date with him.

I feel like this was brought up before, and maybe not on Mike, but it was always that feeling of like, then we feel like we're kind of like, if something goes wrong,

then we feel like we're a party to it, then.

Well, what could go wrong?

I mean, anything could go wrong.

Do you really want to like

you have well, that's why you have to say, you can't just send them on the date, you have to send a

chaperone,

yeah.

Yeah, to be the hairy guy could chaperone,

Yeah.

Nah,

he's too suggestible.

You need somebody with responsibility.

You need like Walt.

I know, yeah.

I got enough to do.

I don't need now to go on fucking

third-party dates.

We married the guy off.

Yeah.

You know what?

You know, like, not so much.

Like, even Giddam needs protection in that sense, though.

Like, if some, you know.

Oh, she's like, he tried to diddle me.

Yeah, there's a million things that can go wrong, and I don't want to be, like, put our stamp of approval on it, and they come after TSD because something didn't go the way they wanted it to, or there's just too many

things and like headaches that I would be like,

no, fine.

Wow, okay.

Well, if there's too many, I suspect you don't want to hear one headache,

many

at that stage.

You are in the front lines.

All right, I got it then.

What was your eel silly, my friend?

I'll never understand this.

Look, I get it.

You're like, hey, man, I want to put a dildo up my butt, you know, or something inanimate.

Yeah.

Not like a light bulb or something.

Like a sex toy up the button.

A plug.

Sure, anything like that.

But this is a live two-foot eel chews through a man's intestines after he puts it up his anus.

This country?

Nope.

Yeah, I didn't think so.

No.

Whenever you hear these stories, that's never America.

Vietnamese doctors removed a two-foot-long eel from a man's abdomen that had chewed through his intestines after he shoved it up his anus.

Why would you do this?

It was the discovery was made when the 31-year-old Indian national was admitted to the hospital with excruciating abdominal pain.

They found out he had slipped the phallic fish up his backside earlier in the day and had tried to escape.

The eel had bitten through the patient's rectum and colon to escape the abdominal cavity.

Oh, my God, poor eel, man.

And then they did several imaging tests, including an x-ray that showed the eel's skeleton lying inside his abdominal cavity.

So somehow he made it into his stomach.

They attempted to move it through his anus, but they discovered a large lime that he.

I didn't read, I must have skipped over that part the first time.

He plugged it in with a lime?

He plugged it in with a lime.

And he had also.

That is rough, man.

If you're going to do that, you have to

prepare the eel.

Like, you've got to fucking pull its teeth.

I mean,

get a girl who's willing to fucking

organize

organ, whatever.

They're out there.

You know, I don't think it's a shocking request anymore to be like, hey, honey, could you take that salt shaker and just shove it up my bum?

Right.

I think in 2024, it's much more acceptable than it has been in the past.

You could order things online.

It comes right to your house in a convenient, like, like use code TESD.

You got a convenient, like.

Yeah, go to Adam and Eve.

Yeah.

They sliced open the patient's torso and found the live eel stretching more than 25 inches long and roughly four inches in diameter.

The creature and the lime were both removed.

And after checking for any additional foreign objects hidden inside the man, they stitched them up.

And they also performed a colostomy to prevent fecal matter from entering

from passing through the cut made by the eel's bites.

How does this

makes me think it's not a true story, though?

This man's medical record should not be released.

Well,

they don't name him.

Yeah, but these doctors have to release this to the news, though.

Yeah, but how do you sit on this?

But

that's the oath you take.

No,

you got to release this to a medical journal.

Something.

Yeah, well, it says here: doctors at the hospital told Vietnam News that they've dealt with patients, typically young men.

Vietnam News.

That's the fake news, man.

This is not a real story.

Typically, young men who have put objects up their bums for sexual pleasure.

Yeah.

It's like called American news.

Vietnam news.

Well, who knows what's going on over there?

Who knows what they're doing?

Who knows what's going on here, man?

I'm not.

I question, man.

You better not be fucking sending any money to any fucking princes over in fucking Zimbabwe or anything.

Dude, you're going to be so sorry when I get that fucking inheritance.

The hospital has previously removed bottles, cups, and adult toys from patients' anuses, but this is is the first case involving a live animal.

But

even the prospect of getting it in there,

it's impossible, you would think.

It would recoil.

It's not possible to get it in there,

especially unless it was sedated.

Right.

Yeah, like how do you force them in there?

Right.

Well, according to the news, the Vietnam news,

this was not the first time an eel was removed from someone's backside in Vietnam this year.

Now, this sounds awfully suspect.

It doesn't.

In March, a 12-inch eel slid up a 43-year-old man's anus.

He was rushed to the medical center where the sea creature was removed.

Now, they don't say how it slid up there.

Like,

look, unless your asshole is so fucking loose that an eel can just swim in there like it's no, no big deal.

But if it thinks it's like a cave, it might force like a rock that's looking to hide.

I would think you'd get like a tube and put it in first to expand it.

Oh, and then

put him in the tube?

And then he goes in the tube and he just goes right in.

I mean, if I was going to stick an eel up my asshole, that's the way I would go about it.

That's pretty

clever.

Yeah, well, hey, boys,

BQ's old-timey eel methods.

Yeah.

I think I see a Patreon gift an eel tube with our faces on it.

Whoa, man.

Let's say you do have

nothing on the level of this fucking nonsense, but you do have a sexual escapade go south that requires maybe you to go to the doctor.

You certainly don't want the fucking doctor to be reporting and like giving out, even if they never give your name out, though, this is hot.

This should be grounds for dismissal.

I would call, if I had a golf ball stuck up my ass, first person I call would be get him.

You gotta get this out, pal.

You gotta keep it quiet.

You know?

Yeah, you know he can keep a secret.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

148, I'd be like, I need you to use all those brain powers to get this out of it without leaking to the press.

It has to be one of those things where, like, if you do this and you're like, I can't get it out.

I can't get it out.

I can't get it out.

That's last resort.

Like, I can't believe I have to go to the hospital with a fucking eel in my ass.

Oh, God.

Because he had to have known.

He's like, oh, I have this abdominal pain.

Also, by the way, I shoved an eel up my ass, followed by a lime.

How'd that get up there?

That's crazy.

Are you sure it's my x-ray you're looking at?

Well, he could say that he put the lime up there and the and the eel was in the lime.

And he didn't realize the lime was in there.

A two-foot eel?

Yeah, like was in the living inside the lime.

He could say that.

I don't know that they believe him.

I think

that's a desperation move.

He could say, like, my, you know, from where my village,

we believe that inserting a lime helps hemorrhoids.

So get away and get away from anything sexual then.

What village is this you're from?

Well, it's a, where is it?

Vietnam?

Yeah.

There's a lot of villages in Vietnam.

Yeah, I'd want to know where in this village, this particular village, we use the Lyme method.

I'm not saying a doctor's going to believe it, but

at least it's better than a no story.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think, though, I don't agree with the, like, they shouldn't let it out.

I think these stories should be told.

You know, without the name, without the name, nobody knows who it is.

Like, we don't know who this guy is.

And probably a few select people might be like, didn't so-and-so go to the hospital the other day?

And now there's this story, he's walking funny.

And now there's a story about an eel and a lime.

So you might be able to deduce, you might be able to put it together, but for everybody else in the world, they're just like, oh, look at this fucking perf.

Yeah.

Well, also, it's like

if someone in our group of friends

had an eel up their ass, I feel like we would have had conversations about them beforehand that would have put them on the suspect list.

I don't think it's a surprise when that guy gets out of the hospital because of an eel in his ass.

Everybody's like, yeah, it was just a matter of fucking time.

Yeah, they're like, only a kneel?

Well, no, there was a lime in there, too.

Yeah, yeah.

So, you know, I don't know if it would be a surprise.

If you're the type of person that's shoving an eel up your ass, I think you put those vibes off.

Do you think the lime was to block him in so he couldn't get out?

I mean, I would have to.

I mean,

he had.

Did he think he was going to die in there then?

Maybe.

Yeah, like, why?

Maybe just shit it out.

It's not real.

It's not real.

It's a fake story to get clicks.

I clicked it, man.

I saw that.

I clicked that shit right away.

Let's see about this.

I wonder if they named the guy.

Oof.

I was also wondering,

like, let's say

somebody commits a crime, right?

You know, like some sort of maybe not Robin, a rich guy commits a crime.

He would have to be rich.

Say he's like a, you know, maybe a Bernie Madoff type or whatever.

Oh, rich, rich.

Yeah, like real rich.

And he gets cryogenically frozen because he dies before he can go to trial for his crimes.

Gets cryogenically frozen.

When he comes back to life, if they ever figure out a way to bring him back, do you think he should face charges for that crime?

How many years?

I don't know.

Let's say 25 years.

And what's the crime?

Statute of limitations may have passed it.

Oh, that's true, too.

I hadn't thought about that.

But unless it's murder, there's what's your murder statute of limitations.

25 years, I think, yeah, you should probably have to answer for it.

If you wake up a thousand years in the future, I think it's like, I don't know, man.

You got other problems to continue with?

I don't know if that, you know, then they're a whole different thing.

But yeah, I think if especially if any of your victims are still

alive, why wouldn't you?

Yeah.

Yeah.

You know, but I think, yeah.

When you're an oddity from the past, I think that people would be like, yeah, it's just how they did shit back then.

But couldn't you make the case that like that's time served?

All those years that was a suspended animation?

Well, that's what always bothered me about Demolition Man, the

Wesley Snipes,

Stallone movie.

Because they would arrest people and put them in cryogenic and then unfreeze them in the future and be like, time served.

And I'd be like, wait, what?

They were just asleep for 30 years and they're young and healthy and they're in the future.

How is that a crime?

No, I don't think it counts.

You don't think it counts.

I don't think so.

A good lawyer could take something from them.

Yeah, but a good lawyer could make the case that

time served.

Yeah, but nothing's look at all he missed.

Nothing's lost.

All his loved ones are gone.

He never got to say goodbye to them.

Yeah, but we're talking about a killer?

There's

tax evasion.

Yeah, it's got, I don't think it could be murder because murder, there's no statute of limitations.

But anything that had a statute of limitations, it would be like, yeah, time served.

Nah.

I don't know.

I don't buy it.

I think you've got to take something from them.

Okay.

Not they went to sleep for 25 years of their own will and then woke up in the future.

Well, there's two very famous people.

Because they were so rich that they could do it.

Yeah.

Who I know of that are in cryogenically

frozen at this moment.

One is Ted Williams.

Just his head, yeah.

And

Walt Disney, right?

No, Walt Disney's not.

That's a myth.

That's a myth.

That's a myth.

Yeah.

Oh, okay.

So it's just Ted Williams is the only one right now.

What are famous myths about Walt Disney?

He hated Jewish people.

He's cryogenically frozen.

There's a lot of rumors about Walt Disney.

I guess you can't be a great man like that without that sort of thing.

Yeah.

Yeah, they cut.

And then Ted Williams' head developed a crack in it, too.

Oh, I didn't hear this.

He discovered years later.

Oh, so it's funny.

I think they're still banking on futures.

So someone dropped it?

No, it's just the freezing process didn't go right or something, and he developed a crack in his head.

I mean, it's been years since I heard this story, but I think they're still like, we'll just wait for the day that they can fix all of this.

Why just the head, though?

Because he wasn't happy with the body?

Cheaper.

Cheaper.

Cheaper storage.

And the idea being, like, look, if technology is that far advanced that they could clone you a younger body, they could do that from your, as long as they have your brain.

They're saying, like, one day you're going to be able to take that brain and put it in a young body.

And until that old Ted's just chilling out type thing.

It's way cheaper.

There's a fucking, there's a movie or a fucking prank, a great prank for a prank show of you wake somebody up and you tell them that you're that you're you're have you're Ted Williams in a new body that you're you used to be Ted Williams in a previous life.

Oh, you don't think he has his own memories?

Like everybody ever woke up from like an accident or something,

and they're going to be like, Who's Ted Williams?

Like, unless they live in a Boston area.

Is that something you would like, let's say you know you're on your way out?

Yeah.

You're like hospice care, and they're like, look, we're doing this experimental thing where we can basically, before you die, we put you in stasis.

Yeah.

And then maybe they can try to figure out some like, figure out what's wrong with you.

But

worst case scenario, they're going to wake you up in 50 years.

And then you'll pro then you'll if they couldn't figure it out, then you'll die.

It's a.

Well, I'd be like, what's up with the 50-year time?

like time limit?

Like, why not just keep me in there until they figure it out?

Okay, well, however long it takes to figure it out.

I'd probably take it.

Yeah.

I think I'd take it.

Waking up that far in the future.

The only thing, you remember Trans Metropolitan?

Yeah.

That awesome comic sci-fi, but there was a, it took place way in the future, but basically about Hunter S.

Thompson in the future, but it's, you know, it's just based on him.

And there were ghettos where people who froze themselves in the past thought that they would wake up to a future and be like, I'm here, like, this is great.

I'm rich.

And they were just like, no, like, we don't give a fuck.

And, like, they were slums where all these people from 200 years ago were forced to live because they did.

They weren't the celebrities that they thought they'd be.

They gave them a game.

Which always, I found pretty frightening.

I don't want to live without my friends.

I don't want to live without my family.

But at the same time, how do you not take that chance?

Why not?

Just to see what it's like.

Yeah.

But then again, it's like Ted Williams are going to put his head on a.

Do you think it's an appropriate body, or is it like, hey, man, I want fucking Hugh Jackman's body?

Put me on that.

I don't think you're going to have your choice of bodies.

I think you're going to have ones that like

fit medical, like, you know, clinically, they clear all the, all the, like, this is a perfect one for you.

You know, unfortunately, it doesn't look like Hugh Jackman's body, but this is the one that's going to, this is the one that most matches and checks all the box that most likely will succeed if we use it.

Yeah, I think you're just lucky.

Yeah, you can't be that.

that choosy when it comes to fucking reattaching your head to a body.

I always just assume they'd clone your body again.

Oh,

I don't know.

I don't know about that.

Because then you got to kill that.

Then you got to behead that clone, too, and that gets real messy.

Or at least take the cranium out and take that clone's brain out then.

Right?

And it gets real dicey then.

It does get dicey.

It does.

I thought you were going to say a robot body, which makes more sense.

You fucking dope.

Like cyborg?

Or go go get the metal.

Like RoboCop.

That doesn't sound fun.

You don't feel anything.

Like, wasn't that RoboCop's whole fucking issue?

He didn't feel anything that he had, like, like memories that would come back here and there.

Yeah, but like, he physically didn't feel shit.

Right.

Like, there's no.

That's true.

Yeah, you're not going to.

Yeah.

It's going to get taken.

It's going to be a dick.

Either bring me back with my dick or throw me in the fucking burner.

I don't want to be anywhere without my dick.

I got a feeling

that if you're going to be dealing with a lot more pressing issues, then

maybe, but that's the first one.

No way.

I guarantee it's not the first one.

What are you talking about?

No way.

Is that the first one?

The first one is.

Juke comes out of it and he's like, where are the honeys at?

A lot of futuristic honey.

Oh, my God.

Like, you look down.

Here's a blender.

Here's a toaster.

Well, you're a robot, I thought.

Oh, yeah.

No, no.

I don't want to live without

my Pichadel.

Even at that age, even if you're like 80-something?

No.

No.

Not at all.

I would not feel like a man.

You know.

I'd feel like a

very ashamed of myself without my dick.

I take it.

But if you're a robot?

Yeah, I don't know, man.

Well, can they give you a robotic one?

All right.

I'd have to look into that.

But I really like, I like mine.

Well, they can make make it look like yours, but then it went in and it transforms like a transformer.

Oh, prosthetic transformer.

Maybe.

It depends on how it feels, I guess.

Well, it's not going to feel like anything.

You're a robot.

You don't have sensation.

You don't have nerves.

There's no point.

There's no point.

There's still plenty good you can do.

Fuck that.

Oh, my God.

And everybody who talks to me knows I don't have a dick.

Wow.

I really didn't realize that this was such a your whole identity is.

yeah, pretty much

to me even if it didn't work and I still had it I'd be psychologically okay

I'd be like, all right, what are you gonna do?

Because I feel like like as I get older and it's like at some point at some point, it's gonna just stop working.

I don't care how much blue chew you take, it's just gonna stop working.

Yeah, and that's the time that I'll be like, oh man, you'll still have it.

Still have it.

You and your old friends.

But all those mad.

All those miles you journeyed together.

You know what I mean?

That's true.

I don't know.

I don't think I'd be able to.

If you're going to go out, you want to go out with him?

I just want to go out.

Yeah.

You know, I want to go out like I lived with my cock.

You know?

Yeah.

I think it'd just be too humiliating for everybody to look at you and be like, see, that dick he used to, that guy used to have a dick.

You don't think they're going to be like, holy shit, that's a fucking brain inside of a robot.

No one's going to be going like, I wonder what his dick looks like.

Or what is that lack of?

First thing I would say, I'd be like, did they let that robot keep his dick, or is that dick gone?

Like, would you say that?

You never thought that about RoboCop?

You're never like, no, really?

Not at all.

That one point ever in the history of all three of the movies that I was like, hmm, I wonder what his Johnny looks like.

I was surprised they never addressed it.

No way.

Oh, man.

I just wonder.

Or if he still had it at all, right?

Right.

Yeah.

It was never something

that was vital to me enjoying the series or a stumbling block for me.

Is that why he's bitter?

Is that why he shoots that guy in the dick?

Remember, like they're big enough to assault that girl.

I can't have one.

No, it's that little honeycomb.

Wow, I'm surprised at that.

Even with cyborg in the Justice League, I'm always like, they fucking took Cyborg's dick.

That shit ain't right.

Methinks you might have a fixation on

it.

I'm all right with it.

Wow, you've never thought that.

No.

No.

Wow.

Never.

Not once.

No.

You tell me all the ants out there, I'm the only one that was like, fucking, they took RoboCop's dick?

This is like the conversation I would expect from like a 10-year-old.

Well, I saw it when I was 10.

What do you want?

Oh, okay.

All right.

You know?

Yeah, we were a little bit older.

Okay.

Yeah.

I mean, not saying I wouldn't think about it now.

But yeah, wow.

Yeah, you don't see like,

you know, people, I mean, that's not always your first question.

Do they still have their dick?

Yeah,

you see paralyzed people.

You're not like, oh, can they still feel their dick?

That's not your first.

Well, paralyzed people, like, if I see them in a wheelchair, I know they can.

They all can't, or some of them can.

I think some of them, most of them can.

If you're like a quadriplegic, I don't think you can feel anything, right?

No less than Christopher Reeves, Superman,

made it known that his dick still worked.

He had to get it out there.

Do you think that's as true as the Eel story?

Even Superman knew.

Case anybody's wondering.

Yeah.

Somebody asked him if he still had a sex life with his wife, and he was like, oh, yeah.

She walks in the room.

I leer at her and we get it on.

So

you know why he's saying that.

So when you're introduced to comics and Charles Xavier rolls onto panel, you're like,

Yeah, I'm a little bit like, is that guy getting laid?

No, I mean, it is, I would assume he could move it with his mind in a way, but yeah, I would worry about that.

I mean, this is this is not real, right?

This can't surely be.

Unfortunately,

but how do you watch RoboCup and not wonder

the psychological effects of having your penis removed?

I would think the psychological scars of fucking not having your family anymore and being just these little blips pins here and there.

You're like, whoa, wait, what?

I'm not saying that's a fucking talking.

Would be so much more traumatic that that thought of your dick wouldn't come in until

many, many, many moons later.

I think the horrors of waking up in a robot body and

not

being able to be the man you once were in terms of your family and everything would be a bit more at the forefront.

I don't know.

That's just me, though.

I don't see it that way.

Obviously not.

I'm trying to think of some other famous robots and cyborgs, but because I wouldn't call C-3PO.

No.

No.

They had to live their life as a man at one point before they became a robot.

Like a man droid.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Any other famous ones out there that you've pondered about?

RoboCop was always the big one.

I thought it was always kind of like they brought that guy, that poor guy back without his deck.

And cyborg in Justice League.

If I was writing a cyborg comic, it would open up with him having sex.

They saved the right part, and then it would log into the age of 10.

Well,

there's a very good chance he still does have it because in the comic book, you would see bits of his skin in between the metal parts on his legs.

Yeah, well, in the movie, he didn't because they showed what parts of him were left.

He was on that board.

Oh, yeah, yeah.

That got you, gave you the creeps, huh?

It was the most horrifying thing about that whole process for me.

It was like they took the man's penis.

I can't believe you guys aren't seeing it the same way.

I didn't think that this would be.

It never occurred to me.

Well, it's not controversial.

It's not controversial.

It may be the dumbest conversation on TSD.

It's not controversial.

That surely can't be true.

There's no way that could be true.

I know this much.

It won't make anybody mad.

What else do I got?

I think that's pretty much all I got.

Well, I saw Justin Timberlake got his license suspended.

Did he?

Yep.

That's what happens when you drive drunk.

I could not believe when this first happened.

I could not believe the number of people.

Well, I guess I can because he's a celebrity.

The number of people, hey, man, don't judge him until we find out what happened.

Blah, blah, blah.

It's like he got pulled over and arrested for drunk driving.

Like, we know what happened.

Yeah, you could still like him and be like, oh, of course.

He's fucked up.

He's fucked up.

That's it.

Yeah.

Like, you don't have to.

Yeah.

Yeah.

That kind of fucking celebrity idolatry where it's like, well, he could have killed somebody, but still, it's Justin Timberlake.

Come on.

He can't have a couple kills under his belt.

Yeah.

No, what else is going on, don't you think?

No, I mean, I'm just coming up for air, man.

And when do you stop?

This is it this week, two more days this week.

Two more days and then you're done.

And then I have one more tour

at the end of the month.

And then, yeah, well, then, like, I'm working, you know, writing.

We're shooting a pilot for something in September,

it's the dated, like, it's for fucking, it's going to be nice for me for the next few months.

I finally get to relax a bit and shit like that.

Yeah,

I can't wait.

I'm pretty excited.

I love this show.

I'll do it forever, but like, I need it to, I need downtime.

You know what I mean?

So I'm ready for it.

I'm ready for it.

You need some downtime.

Who may?

Yeah.

My downtime is covered.

I have enough downtime.

I need to desperately find some uptime.

Yeah.

All right.

Yeah, that's it.

I'm going to Monster Mania tomorrow.

I'm going to finally meet Henry Winkler.

Get out of here.

Yeah, Mary Beth for our anniversary.

She sort of orchestrated this.

Cherry Hill?

Yep.

Yeah, the one we went to.

Yeah.

It's a meet-and-greet, so you had to pay some sort of special price.

I didn't get

the official photo and stuff like that.

I'm just going to go to the booth and get a picture taken with them.

And

finally, after you know 50 years,

meet them.

Okay.

Let's practice a little here.

Okay.

Okay.

Q is Henry Winkler.

So

what are you really going to say?

Because you should, he's probably heard a lot of accolades.

So are you going to say something that's going to he's never heard before?

Or are you going to play it, like play it cool and just be like, I really appreciate your work.

Like, what's your game plan?

I think my game plan is going to be like, I've been waiting for this moment since the 70s.

And you would think at all that time i'd have something profound to say but i don't it's just nice to meet you

you like that

uh yeah it's not bad it's not bad right

it's honest yeah my thing are you gonna try and get a free photo no no no

are you gonna bring the animated cell or whatever from design oh

yeah if you want to bring it if you think you you can you know make sure nothing happens to it yeah i could go i could get that signed all right he probably doesn't see a ton of those no yeah I wonder how I remember this shit

did he do the voice for the cartoon I don't you know what he might have yeah yeah I bet you that was easy money fuck yeah yeah ever think of an IJ cartoon they it almost got made no way yeah it was before

Warner Brothers got bought out in this last thing

they asked us to develop an Impractical Jokers animated series and we were like well how the fuck

what are we gonna do so we kind of came up with this thing, almost like Muppet Babies, about like four kids on Staten Island.

And it was pretty, it was fun, but at the same time, when it died, I wasn't like,

there's a big loss for the world.

But it was fun.

Because, you know, you can't do South Park era, you know, type stuff.

It was a tricky thing to walk, but they did want us to do it.

Wow, that would have been fucking easy money you could roll in, do your voice.

I don't even know if we'd have to do our own voices.

But wouldn't you want to get that fucking easy paycheck?

Yeah, of course.

You could probably do it in your house.

Yeah, that would be nice.

It'd be great if they hired me to do Q for max money.

Oh, we're all friends and shit, right?

We're all babies.

Yeah, we're babies wondering about RoboCops dick.

There's an episode.

There's an episode.

People generally like to fucking complain, but is there anybody out there that has my back on this?

I can't be the only one

that had this thought, man.

It's not fair.

Yeah, tweet to tell him Steve Dave on uh Twitter if you or X or whatever if you uh are like-minded with Q and have wondered this about RoboCop.

Yeah, somebody helped me out here.

Tell him Steve Dave.