#596: Tom Swift

So I could go for two or three hours and not even realize it.

It's time to go to bed.

Ryan is sick after visiting the bottle dump.

He was the only one of the party who is there to disrespect the bottle dump.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him, Steve, Dave.

I look to my left, I see Walt Flanagan.

I look to my right, I see BQ.

Hey, bud.

Why would I bother looking forward?

All I'm going to see is Giddam, probably.

So

left and right, that's the way I'm fucking operating today.

That's it.

You can say, tell him, Steve, Dave.

That's all I got for this week.

I've been sick for the past three days.

You've been sick?

I got fuck all.

Yeah, I got some kind of chest congestion thing going on,

coughing and stuff.

Giddam gave it to you.

Did he?

Yeah.

He was sick.

You said, fucker, did you?

Yeah.

Because I'm like, I didn't go anywhere.

Yes, you did.

That's right.

We did go anywhere.

No, I went on a day trip with Gidham, and I thought I saw you guys go over to the side and

speak nose to nose at a certain point.

At least Rupert's in C with the camera.

That's all I care about.

Yeah, we went on a day trip, Q.

Where'd you go?

Tell me about this.

I didn't hear about this.

We went to see.

We're working on something for Patreon where I try different hobbies.

Okay.

So last week we went to a guy who's like the authority of Burlington County about bottles and bottle dumps, nearby bottle dumps.

Oh.

Oh, you're jumping

right into the bottle dump hobby.

And then we finally, after we talked to that expert in Burlington County, we

got our bottle guy expert and he brought us to the fabled bottle dump of

Monmouth County where Giddam Steve Dave had spent many an afternoon in his youth, and we got to see it.

And the viewers and listeners will get to experience it as well in a future episode.

Were there still bottles of fuck?

Fuck yeah.

There was nothing but bottles.

A lot of them were broken.

Yeah.

And stoves and bed frames and car doors.

I mean, people have heard about it literally for a decade, and I can't believe it took us this long to finally be like, hey, show us where this fabled bottle dump is.

And we took a trip out there and we saw it firsthand.

And you didn't have to dig very deep to find glass.

I mean, it was all around you.

I don't know how the fuck he found it from the forest.

That's the big question.

I don't know how the fuck he found it like on this, like in this forest.

I don't know how he found it.

When you leave the path, I'm just not sure why he left the path.

Yeah, like there has to be a reason to leave the path and stumble upon it because

it's not two feet off of the train tracks.

Yeah.

It's like even when you get there, you're like, oh, this is it?

Okay, now, okay, now I can start to see all the bottles and stuff and the

garbage.

Do you think that somebody told him about it?

Or did he find it?

Did you guys get to the bottom of this?

He staked a claim to it as his own, so I thought he found it.

Yeah, but it's like the pet cemetery, man.

It's like passed down through whispers, you know, through the town.

That's where the rumors are of the birds.

Well, as much shit as was there, there's no way he's the first one.

It was a lot of stuff there, man.

I just don't know how the fuck anybody goes out there to dump a fucking

stove or bed frames because you're like, how the fuck did I drag it all the way out here?

Yeah, it's like the most inconvenient spot to drop off junk and garbage.

Like, you know, you'll see every once in a while somebody drops a sofa off on the side of the road because they're like, fuck it, I don't know what to do with it.

I don't want to pay to have it hauled off.

That kind of, that at least makes sense.

But, like, because it's easy.

Right.

So, Q, I'm thinking, you know, it's got me really, my wheels are spinning.

Brian is sick after visiting the bottle dump.

He was the only one of the party who is there to disrespect the bottle dump.

Is there maybe some sort of curse?

Because I was very respectful.

I was like, this is fucking sacred land.

Like, I made sure to keep like...

We walked all the way for this shit.

And then he walks home with a fucking fungus in his chest.

I'm like, breathe deep, boy.

We're out of nature.

Look at his pestos everywhere.

Do you think there's something to my theory that he dissed the bottle dump and now

he has to make amends?

I think there's definitely a curse connected to the bottle dump, but I don't know if it's the one that you think it is.

There's got to be some bodies out there, man.

I think there's just broken glass.

Well, Guinam speculated that, or said at least, that

since the train goes by, maybe the train stopped, and that's where they would dump stuff out sometimes, you know?

Yeah, that makes sense, I guess.

But the bottles, what fascinates me, all right, when I look, I realize I could learn all this by watching that episode, but

a bottle dump expert,

a bottle dump expert, like, have we ever gotten a real explanation for why certain areas become known for bottle dumping?

Like, it just seems

for their bottle dumps to exist, that means an amount of humans had to all agree that they were going to lug their bottles to this place and dump them.

Yeah.

And why the fuck would anybody do that?

They told, we talked, get this, Q, we talked to two bottle dump experts in one day.

So all the, all those questions were answered.

I was lightheaded.

But he said that people didn't have regular trash pickup,

and there would be one

horse-drawn carriage that would come by and take your garbage.

And

that's how certain counties would get these

one areas because one guy was getting paid to go

door to door and be like, you got anything you want?

And I'll

pay me and I'll go drag it, horse-drawn carriage to this dumping area that I know of.

And it just became like the place to go before

the organized sanitation pickups.

So an 1800s giddem was running around in a rickety cart.

Careful, careful, Q.

You don't want to get a fucking fungus in

your respiratory system.

Don't diss it.

It's interesting that comparing the person in 1860 who did that run to Giddem sounds insulting to you, Walter.

Like, why is that an insult?

I know where you're headed.

I can tell by the tone of your voice.

Stop me before the curse gets me.

Thank you.

I appreciate that.

What's the name of the show?

Bry Tries.

Bry Tries.

Yeah, so far I've tried.

Oh, no, that's not giving it all away.

Don't even give it all away?

Don't give it all away.

Because the first episode's coming out in a couple weeks.

You just tease him, Bry.

I try something.

Yeah, just tease him.

A couple different things.

We do two hobbies per episode.

Okay.

All right.

Nice.

What would you consider your hobby to be, Q?

I guess these days I'm down to mainly reading, I guess, if that counts.

I still like taking pictures.

I do that a lot.

I just don't really post them

much.

And video games.

I think that would cover.

I mean, comic books, I fold that into reading.

You know what I mean?

He's got all kinds of comic books.

This guy's got a lot of free time.

Yeah.

He's got this money.

He's busy today.

Home reading comic books.

I've been playing video games.

Well, video games are the only real one that you have to be locked in place for.

Photography, you could do anywhere.

That's the magic of it.

And reading, you know, I'm on so many planes and shit.

I'm on 10 flights a month.

So it's an easy, it's an easy thing.

It's really the video game once.

It's like I get home, it's late at night, and I play.

And

how long will you lose yourself in a video game?

Because I recall back in the day when I played video games, I could go for two or three hours and not even realize it.

Oh, God.

Well, two hours is

that's me.

That's me putting restraints on myself and being like, you can only play.

Like, if I sit, if I nestle down on that couch at like 10 o'clock, if I'm done by one, that's successful.

But if it's like a fallout game, I mean, that could be there all fucking night.

It could get bad.

It could get bad.

Yeah, if the stories are that good and there's that much exploring to do, I'll look up and it's like three in the morning.

If you have a friend over, does the friend get like, beat you?

It's time to go to bed.

Not if they want to come back.

Shouted down.

Trying to play his video games.

You're not, pay attention to me, BQ.

Pay attention to Fallout and all these monsters you're trying to kill.

Well,

if I'm inviting guests over that are age-appropriate, they're all tired and ready for bed by 9.30 anyway, so don't worry about it.

Ain't nobody getting bothered at 10 o'clock when I do

this guy, this other bottle, this is what I think Giddam should do.

This guy called himself the king of Burlington County.

I guess just in reference to bottles, right?

Yeah.

But

he dubbed himself royalty based upon how many bottles he had found.

Yeah.

Some valuable ones, too.

You'd be surprised.

Well, at least that's how valuable he says they are.

This guy is giving me Dennis vibes.

Is he a

dentist?

Well,

his place was located in

an antique store.

Yeah.

Yep.

This sounds like a

there's stuff everywhere all over the place.

A lot of old shit that'll never sell.

Do you think Dennis is selling magazines in heaven?

We're sure he's dead?

I do.

Yeah.

Do you think that's what he would want to be doing is like

setting up his stand up there and

smoking with no fucking reason?

Like, does that work?

I thought that was hell.

Now I'm back to it.

No, I think he's up there selling magazines to the angels right now.

Oh, that's beautiful.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hopefully, the angels are into cat fancy because

he had plenty of those to bring with him.

Well, they're angels, so of course they are.

Oh,

you know?

Yeah, we had a cat in the office last week.

Very cute.

Oh, yeah?

Walt's daughter's little tiny kitten.

Yeah, sure.

I needed to watch the kitten for a couple days, and I brought it to the office.

I'm not a cat guy.

Oh, six weeks, seven weeks, nine weeks.

That did it turn you into a cat person?

I didn't think it was going to.

I decided to myself, you know, because I'm not real sure how to deal with cats or kittens, but his playfulness and his

non-stop drive to get into shit and just play was very infectious.

Yeah.

And I think he scratched me, and I got cat scratch fever now.

So

his breathing's been labored.

He's got the same fungus I do.

That's all it takes, bud.

That's all it takes is that one kitten to break the seal.

Even though I wouldn't be here to feed him or change the litter or anything, I did suggest an office cat, but I got roundly shot down.

Didn't?

Bay who?

Bay.

I don't remember you saying that.

Yeah, I said, oh, he's like, this guy's cool.

We should have an office cat.

You're like, I'm not a cat guy now.

Yeah, well,

I could see it.

You know what?

Impossible.

But I don't know if we're allowed to have a

24-7-7 pet in the office.

Probably not.

Don't we already have get them?

Well, my cats

just had kittens in the yard.

They just started coming out this week.

So I have three new kittens that I'm looking over in the yard.

So if you want one, Walt,

I got a line on some kitten action.

Let me sleep on it.

Well, he was saying this kitten was scaring socks, too, so that's no good.

Oh, that's no good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

My cat has taken to,

for some reason, we've had the puppy for about, well, the norm, the dog, about a year now.

For some reason, within the past two weeks, my black cat, Salem, has become very protective.

Like, if the dog comes over near me, like, Salem will run over and be like, meow, and, like, try to get him away and then, like, look to get pet as a reward for, like, for chasing him off.

He's become, like, real territorial with me for some reason.

I think jealousy.

There's a lot of jealousy in that house with these pets.

Really?

Yeah.

Well, are they picking it up from the

alpha?

Me stomping around like, what'd you pay?

You know what?

You might not be that far off because I have mentioned, I was like, I remember when I used to get this kind of attention to Mary Beth with a puppy.

Did that happen to you, too?

What, with the kitten?

No, with the dogs.

When you got to first get the dogs, like, does that pay all the attention to them and none to you?

Because that's the way I found it to turn out.

You know, I mean,

I wasn't that

insecure that I didn't realize that a puppy might need some attention more than I might need some.

attention.

She's always like, oh, I love you, love you.

Kissing him on the nose, love you.

All this shit.

What do I get?

You want her to treat you that way?

Maybe.

Take me outside once in a while.

Yeah, I love you once in a while.

It wouldn't be bad.

Oh, no.

I'm just kidding.

The honeymoon's over.

Oh, it's got to be by this time.

It's just natural.

It'll be four years in August.

That can't be over by then, man.

You got

five years.

I think you're a newlywed till you're five years, right?

Well, it was pretty damn close.

Come on.

Yeah, it's me you're talking about.

You think I'm going to do anything all the way?

Do it half-assed, my nature.

We do have a show called Brie tries for a reason, you know.

It wasn't just pulled out of the sky, nilly-willy.

This is a history of, you know, not trying.

Yeah, it's all very new to me.

Yeah, I understand now.

So that's what we got going on.

Q, you got, uh, if, are, are, is Radio City sold out, or can people still get a couple tickets here and there?

There's like, uh, no, there's definitely, we just released a few tickets, you know, they always hold a certain amount of tickets, so we just released them, but it'll, it'll be sold out.

So,

all right,

it'll get there.

So, if anybody wants to come, now's the time we just release some good tickets.

Can't wait.

I'm excited.

Yeah, it's a big thing, man.

It is.

Fuck a Radio City, bro.

I mean, that's, that's, you know.

You know, legends have fucking, you know, stood on that stage where you're going to stand yourself, you know.

Just recently, you know, Barry Manela played the piano right where you're going to be dancing.

Shucking.

Chucking it.

Yeah, it's true.

It's not lost on me, man.

It's one of those, there's a few theaters, a handful of theaters around the country that when you get to play them, you're like,

this is an honor to play it.

This, the Ryman Theater in Nashville, the Greek Theater in LA,

Chicago Theater, like you just get there, and they're works of art, and they have such storied history that you can't believe that they let a schmuck like me on the stage.

You know, it's not lost on me.

Now,

is Carnegie Hall a bigger deal or Radio City a bigger deal?

I always say, like, the joke is a little bit more.

I think Radio City is

yeah, I think Radio City is the bigger deal.

I mean, Carnegie Hall is big deal.

Like, it's not like not, but I think Radio City is a little more iconic.

Yeah.

Yeah.

But, you know, that's a matter of opinion, I guess.

Well, I haven't played Carnegie Hall, so I'll tell you right now, Radio City is the better, the better of the two, the more prestigious of the two.

Yeah.

Go with that.

Also Sunday,

there's a big deal on Netflix, Walt.

Will you be watching the roast of Tom Brady?

Oh, yeah, yeah, I won't watch that.

You're not going to watch it.

No, I'm not interested.

When we did the roast of BQ back for Final Cast II, I have to say, even though people really adored it and it was a killer,

it's one of the best things that people say they've ever done.

I was not comfortable in the roast atmosphere.

I didn't like it.

I actually hated it.

Hated it.

I hate that kind of like being mean

at someone else's expense.

And I know they're going to fucking bring up deflating the balls, kissing his son,

cheating and all this other shit.

And, you know,

why would I want to?

I don't want to see anything that humanizes the guy.

I am not interested in seeing

everybody like professional comedians like tear him apart and then he has to then get up and try to read and

follow that.

I can't, I don't know how that's going to come off, and I am not interested in seeing him

attempt, you know, because that takes some skill to come back.

He is writers, I'm sure.

I don't think, you really don't think Tom Brady is just going to do it all himself, the way he does shit?

I can't tell if you're joking.

There's no way he's doing that by himself.

Well, then, what's the point then?

Well, he may not have the difficult time that you think.

To entertain.

Celebrity lineup for Tom Brady's Roast on Nextflip Netflix revealed.

Sorry.

This is somebody speculating on who might.

Oh, Russell Wilson of the Denver Broncos.

Okay, he's a football player.

So

I don't know.

It's just weird, though.

Like, why would he want to do this, Q?

They're all football players.

Oh, it's not a special ingredients.

It doesn't look like...

Well, there has to be some.

I heard Jeffrey Jeffrey Ross was going to be on it.

He's probably going to be the Roastmaster.

That's what I was thinking.

I thought Kevin Hart was the Roastmaster.

Oh, is he?

That's what I thought it was.

But why would somebody want to do this, Q, in your opinion?

Because I think that not everybody feels the same way about you.

I think some people, as you do, I think some people are like,

I get it.

I know what's going on.

You know, I think, I don't know.

I don't think everybody's as bothered by it as you are.

Yeah,

but why do it?

Like,

what motivates someone to do it?

You don't need the money, you don't need the attention.

Why squirm in your seat for three hours as people tear you apart?

And then you got to get up and return the favor.

And you think he's got a team of writers who's going to rely on to go back to the business?

Walter, I would bet every single penny I own that he has writers working on that.

I know for a fact it's impossible that he doesn't.

There's no way Netflix is pouring all this money into it and then being like, go ahead, Tom, write something.

Yeah, it won't be a big deal.

It's just not happened.

Is it even Ben F.

No, he's a probable attendee.

Well, he's a big Boston guy.

Boston fan.

See,

what's the point then, like, for everybody at home then?

Because then.

I think it's just funny.

It's just entertaining.

It's just supposed to be fun.

Do you think he can deliver the proper

delivery of the jokes in a way that are going to like a.

Do you think Tom's going to make an asshole out of himself?

trained comedian up there reading his jokes as opposed to Tom reading some writer's jokes.

Do you think he's going to be able to land and

perform well enough to make where it doesn't feel like incredibly awkward?

I mean, I guess we'll find out, but I think that it would be written to his tailored to him, you know?

And

I also think that that if there's one thing I learned about this guy, is that he's just the greatest.

If there's something to be good at, he's going to be good at it.

So we might see the birth of a brand new comedic legend.

Well, he's not good at marriage.

I didn't know that much.

I thought it was his wife's fault.

I thought we all agreed it was his wife's fault.

Yeah, definitely.

Yeah, I told you, he's got a fever,

Brian.

He's

got a fever.

What did I say something anti-Tom Brady?

More medicine.

Yeah,

I just don't get it.

I don't don't understand the...

And again, it all comes from not digging the whole.

It's like a very mean-spirited

way to

spend an evening.

I don't understand it, but I realize that people love this

roast format as a form of comedy.

And

it's not for everyone.

Have you ever seen the old ones, like the real old ones?

It's insane, the shit they say.

Oh, yeah.

I don't think they've, I don't think you'll, I bet you if it's on Netflix, I I think they're going to go to areas you'd never dream they would go.

Well, it's unedited.

Yeah.

I believe it's going to be just as shocking as a 70s one, if not more so.

Really?

Yeah.

I do.

All right.

Love to see.

Q, if you were going to go after him with one joke, what's the area you'd target?

It's like, oh, I know where everybody's going to go.

I'm going to go here.

Or do you think there's an area you would be like, I'm not going there?

I'm curious what you would do.

I don't think there's an area.

I think, though, if you're going to do it, just do it.

You know what I mean?

So you would bring up the jokes about him kissing his son and

maybe even more explicit?

That might not be the angle I take,

but I wouldn't frown upon somebody taking that angle.

Oh, that's so dicey, man.

Is the Giselle stuff still too new and raw?

Oh, I think it's all Giselle stuff.

All Giselle stuff?

And I think he welcomes it.

I bet you that's the area he's okay with.

I would

yeah

something about a deflated football and giselle there's some parallel there we could make i don't know well you know we there's something to be done there but i bet you most of the roasters up there have writers helping them come up with jokes too could you imagine if they if his if the if his uh if the producers of this show you know are looking for let's think outside the box for for people to roast tom brady and you're like you know thinking what that guy in comic book man

he was funny and they got me and then they asked me to do it, and I came in, and I wouldn't reveal my material, and it was nothing mean or nasty.

Yeah.

Yeah, people would love you.

Yeah, that's what we're here for.

Your ass kissing of Tom Brady.

I would endear myself to the man, though, right?

Yeah, probably.

Yeah.

If you did it so straight-faced, it would probably be funny, like in the middle of it all.

Like, if you just played it completely straight, like, if you had, like, a Norm McDonald delivery,

yeah, and just cleaned his balls relentlessly, it might cross the line.

I think that's what I've been doing for the last five to seven years.

Yeah, no, I'm not interested in it, Brian.

And I would appreciate no one

emailing me clips or letting me know what was said.

I really want to go radio silent on this one.

Yeah.

Ants, please let me live in ignorance of, you know, of this particular incident.

I would rather not know what was said.

All right.

Even if he fucking kills it, even if Brady fucking.

You're like, what if he destroys and like the other comics are left in awe?

In the unlikely event that that happens, I still wouldn't want to.

It's just, man, it's not for me.

I mean, now that you see the lineup, though, it's mostly his contemporaries.

It's not going to be comics or, and thank God it's not washed up comics.

A lot of times these celebrities will get like comics that are not on like you know the a list or b list it's just kind of like an embarrassing thing all around so at least it's like his contemporaries you got jeffrey ross who's like

he's a

he's a he's at every roast he's like the guy kevin hart is a funny guy so oh i bet you kevin hart's gonna have some fucking bombs

yeah kevin hart's very funny he's going to have to like especially as the host he's got to have the best stuff you would think so he's going to have to go for the throat that's after

They have to go after everybody.

So let's see.

Who else was on this?

A lot of people.

If it's all players, I'm not sure how that really.

Belichick.

Belichick's going to do it.

Wow.

He could join the players.

This could be the train wreck of train wrecks.

You might have to watch this man.

Yeah.

So, yeah, they'll go after the other guys, the Patrick Mahomes and the...

I mean, how hard is it to roast Travis Kelsey at this point?

Yeah.

Oh, so what?

You're back in the most beautiful and famous woman in the world right now?

Oh,

you know what?

I saw speaking of

Travis Kelsey.

Well, speaking of his, what's it?

Travis,

Taylor Swift.

Joe Elliott, Def Leppard, the lead singer.

Okay.

I saw

he said in an interview that

Taylor Swift is bigger than the the Rolling Stones and the Beatles combined.

At this point?

And I was, and I'm like,

why does he have to say that at this point?

Like,

why do we all have to believe it too then when we know it's not true?

Like, why do you have, why do we have to, just because she's the most current thing?

But it seems like such a,

like,

fall into place.

She's definitely the biggest and greatest thing.

Bigger and better than, combined than the Stones and the Beatles.

We know it's a ridiculous statement.

Who said this?

This is what Travis Kelsey said?

No, this is what Joe Elliott of Def Leppard.

Oh, Joe Elliott of Def Leopard said.

Okay.

Yeah, and I'm just like,

what kind of exercise is going on here that we have to

say these things?

What the fuck?

That's the entire world, bro.

The entire world is fucking, here's what's what, and you better fucking fall in line, no matter how much you disagree with it.

It's just lucky that it's a safe harbor that we can say that Taylor Swift may not be bigger than the Stones and Beatles combined.

Yeah, but by what metric, though, because there might be a metric that she is.

Well, extremely, probably, yeah.

She's definitely earned more touring than they have.

Because of her ticket prices?

Well, ticket prices, the fact that the Beatles stopped touring after

a few years.

It's been going on for

60 years.

But the impact

of the Stones and the Beatles combined,

to say it with a straight face is like kind of like something weird's going on, man.

Something weird is going on.

Like, why, why is he being forced to say this when it's so painfully obvious it's not true?

I think we're just getting old, dude.

I think that if you asked people in their 20s who was a bigger

influence who mattered more to them, the Beatles or the Rolling Stones or Taylor Swift, I don't think it'd be close.

Yeah.

I think Taylor Swift would blow them all away.

I think it's just, it's the new new world.

I think in the new world, she is probably bigger than the Beatles and the Rolling Stones put together.

Now, I am no hater of Taylor Swift.

I don't begrudge her.

I just find it weird that

there's this kind of like

line you got to get in, and everybody's like, yep, she's bigger and better than the Beatles and the Stones combined.

Whoa, I don't think that anybody's saying she's better than the Beatles and the Stones.

I think bigger is different.

Okay, or maybe, maybe, yeah, I'm reading more into it when he said it bigger.

Okay.

But

I've listened to some of the songs recently.

Gatum was playing some of her songs.

Perfectly normal.

What I expect, it kind of sounds like Disney-esque music to me, like Disney Channel.

Okay,

nothing where I'm like, but I just don't

hear something that is

influential as like

the Beatles, though, which

I don't know, like literally changed the face of music.

Can she make that same claim, though?

Like, or is it just sound like the same kind of music that I've heard

since the 2000s started

to my year?

I don't know.

I don't know how to answer that because I agree.

Look, I think he's gone to the

Gatto Elliott School of

the opposite.

What I was about to say was the opposite, which is like, look,

there's a bunch of Taylor Swift that I like, but I wouldn't say that she's more influential on the history of music than the Beatles.

I wouldn't say she's better than the Beatles at all.

I don't really think that's big in terms of

big

at this point.

Okay, it's fair.

Maybe I was just too quick to the jump.

I was like, come on.

That's just outlandish.

Yeah, maybe.

Maybe.

I think she has the first billion-dollar tour in history.

Yeah.

But she's charging, like, isn't she charging more than what you have to pay for on the black market for kidneys and shit?

Well, she's not.

The aftermarket sellers are.

Oh, there's nothing.

And it doesn't matter anyway, because as long as people are willing to pay it, then she's not overcharging.

But she doesn't get that, like that.

Like, if someone's paying $1,000 for a ticket, she's not actually getting that, right?

Or more than $1,000.

She's just, that's the aftermarket, right?

There's a whole, well, there's a shady aftermarket that is basically,

there's basically like an after, there's like, all right, so what they tried to do was there's like scalping, which is just people buying these tickets and selling them.

And then I think the Ticketmaster Marketplace is like, in some form or way, like a legal way for the artists to scalp their own tickets or something like that.

Like to cut scalpers out.

I don't understand it.

But so I do think, I don't think she's getting it all, but I do think there's a nice lift

that goes her way as well.

She wasn't very vocal about that kind of stuff either.

Like every once in a while, like say a Pearl Gem or Rage Against the Machine, they get all pissy because of these aftermarket sellers.

So they go out of their way to make sure that they can't do it or they price the ticket really low or something like that.

Yeah, she does that thing

where she saves the front rows.

for real fans and brings them from the top down to the front.

And she, whatever city she does a concert concert in, she does a lot of charity work there.

She comes in.

I think really she's just like kind of this force for good.

And I do want to, like, a little caveat to this.

I do not want anybody upset.

I'm not saying, like, I know that her fans are fucking fucking rabbit dogs.

And I am not in no way saying that, you know, that I she doesn't deserve every bit of her success.

She absolutely does.

But I just found it strange, though, that like it almost like a hypnotizing way that, like,

you have to say that she's, she's almost like literally, well, it's all it's Jesus and then Taylor Swift in terms of how big people are right now.

And I guess Lennon said the same thing back in the 60s, all right?

And he got some flack for it.

But yeah, yeah,

as of 2022, Taylor Swift says Ticketmaster Fiasco pisses her off.

It's excruciating for her to just watch mistakes happen.

And I guess,

yeah, she's mad that

scalpers are able to do this.

Do you think the people who are the most rabid of rabid Swifties,

do you think they grow out of it at a certain point?

Or do you think this is a lifelong devotion to like

chasing down anybody who and destroying anybody who may say something negative about I'm talking about the most rabid ones?

Not all Swifties are like that.

Dear God, please, I don't want anybody coming after me.

Walt's apology tour.

But you know, I mean, I've read on the internet

that the sub-swifties are

pretty intense.

Do you think that that's something that they move on to a different artist, or do you think their devotion is for life?

Even when she's in her 50s?

Yeah, I think she's got a hooks in a lot of people for a long time.

Or is it like

any number of boy bands where it's like

they have that peak and then they come down to where like nobody's listening to them, but then they come back again because of nostalgia because all these old ladies are like, Oh, I remember Joey Fratone back in the day.

But you don't think she'll get into the Madonna range of

at a certain point when she gets to the Madonna age, she'll become the Madonna of her time, though, where it's just not the same level of interest by the public, the media, and maybe even the fan base.

Or no, you don't think

Madonna's selling out Madison Square Garden

in minutes.

Okay, but

does she have

any kind of

fan base that's going to do what the Swifties are

reportedly doing?

Does she have that kind of like Svangooly kind of spell?

I'm sure she does.

You know, it's an arc.

It's like Brian said, there's an arc to a career, right?

One day Taylor will be...

I mean, look at Elanis Morissette.

Remember how fucking big she was?

Like, she was everywhere.

Elanis Morissette.

Oh, yeah.

Elanis Morissette.

And now, like, you don't really hear about Alanis Morris that much anymore, but I guarantee they're.

But she's still putting out albums and she still goes on tours.

She still has fans.

What about

was it before Taylor Swift, wasn't it Beyoncé was the, like,

was the queen of

entertainment?

I mean, I just, I just really would like to clarify that you're talking to a 48-year-old guy who doesn't fucking know.

Like, I I don't, everything I'm saying is just to me, you're like 20.

To me, you're totally 20 of my eyes.

I'm not an expert in any way.

I'm just like looking and seeing what I see.

I don't know shit.

I think Beyonce is another one that's like kind of floats above the general rules.

Right.

But she's kind of, but she's kind of has to look up at Taylor now, right?

Well, she's won the most Grammys out of any artist in the history of the Grammys.

So what metric are we looking at these people?

You know what I'm saying?

But do you think that Taylor has eclipsed her?

Or do you want, or would you not like to answer that question?

I think Taylor has eclipsed Beyonce.

I don't, I think that would probably bother Beyonce.

Yeah, I do.

I do.

Yeah.

But if Beyonce,

if I was Beyonce, I don't give a fuck.

I'd be like, I'm Beyonce.

Number two is fine, right?

Number two is a great position.

Yeah, I would be like, I'm not even number two i'm beyonce like go fuck yourself like you know what i mean that's i think i would be comfortable saying that but yeah like you're going by one name

you're okay you're doing all right yeah although i don't know what about get him

well he's got three oh yeah get him steve four get him steve dave yeah

yeah

yeah i don't i don't know that's uh that's interesting joe elliott Would say something.

He probably just wants to become more relevant, right?

Like if he says something nice about it,

I don't think that's how it works.

No.

No.

I don't think you just become more relevant.

Like, all the Swifties are going to go fucking go buy Def Leppard album.

Def Leopard shit.

I don't think so.

Well, they got to ballads and stuff.

They used to be hard rocking, like on through the night back in the 80s.

Oh, The Leopard?

Yeah, Def Leppard.

Oh, yeah.

Well, I mean, they had their time.

You know, nothing lasts forever.

Not even Swifty

will last forever.

I really want this to blow up him, get on like TMZ or something.

Three podcasters shit.

I mean, not to last forever.

I mean,

it's not saying something that's outlandish.

I mean,

somebody will eclipse her at some point.

Somebody will, she will be eclipsed by somebody else, just like every other artist, just like Elvis was eclipsed, just like the B.

It's just the, it's just the nature of history.

You can just look back on it and see it.

That doesn't mean that her career won't continue to be

seismic.

Yeah, it always will be.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Well, you had a good point.

Well, it made me think about it where you were saying, does every generation need something like this?

Need like the one huge act, whether it be the Beatles or whether it be

Madonna or whether, you know.

I think there's always

somebody has to fill that spot as the hugest thing

in music.

Somebody's got to fill it, a group, a single artist.

That's my theory.

And these decisions are made by business people, you think?

No,

I think the people, it's the only one of the

few things that people have

a real say in, you know, rising to the top.

I think that's it really, I mean, they vote with what they want to listen to.

You can't stop that.

No.

It does speak to the power of little girls, too.

Like that's who Swifties are, basically, like girls between the ages of

8 and 20, 8 and 25, somewhere in there.

Like Troy's daughter went to the Swifty concert, and she would like, she got dressed up, and she was, you know, college-age.

And she got all dressed up, and everybody else is dressed up.

That's a big thing now, like when they go see

when women and girls go see the performers that they like, they like to dress up, like as the person or in one, like, I guess Aires.

Well, the Aires tour, like, there's all different

outfits that she wore during her tour, so people would dress up in different costumes.

Well, you didn't notice that I didn't wear sweatpants.

I went to see Ace?

Well, what were you wearing?

You You were wearing jeans.

I know that much.

I put on my black cargo pants.

I didn't.

I didn't.

I meant to say because we were in the office and I meant to say something and then I fucking forgot.

Yeah.

So I got dressed up.

Ace, remember when you used to wear cargo pants all the time?

You'll go fucking see Ace Fraley in fucking sweatpants.

I didn't.

I put on my respectable jeans.

Yeah.

I think it doesn't, it just makes it more fun to get dressed up and go to the concert, no?

Does it?

No, there's a line for it.

It's like, it's like real pants.

That line is carpet.

And that's it.

Anything else is just too much.

It's just too much weight for me to fucking carry if I got to fucking also put on a collared shirt or something.

But think about it, though.

But think about what you just said.

You basically

dress up for the concert.

to the best of your ability.

You went to the limit phrase.

I did.

So that's what these girls are doing.

Their limits just a little bit past yours is all.

But it's the same fervor.

It's the same fucking need to be in those cargo pants in front of Ace.

You know what I mean?

It's just your version of it.

I think it's beautiful.

Could Ace Fraley write the greatest album of all time and release it and eclipse Taylor Swift?

Is it possible or is it just like, no, he has to sell it?

Does Taylor Swift sing it?

Does he literally have to sell his soul to the devil for that to happen?

Like, is there an art?

Like, is there a chance that a guy like Ace Fraley could just pen the fucking greatest album in mankind's history

and could it eclipse her popularity just for a month or two?

Or is that 70 years?

I mean, anything's

anything's possible.

Why not?

I'd love to see it.

I would too.

Or if they

like the most unlikely duet, you know.

How pissed is Gene Simmons if they pull it off?

Like if Ace just rockets to the top, Gene can't take it, right?

I think there's three people in that band that can't take it.

We were talking about football before, and I taught Sage how to bet.

She knows how to bet now.

But I was wondering, like, if I'm doing it the right way, because we play Uno.

I can't imagine.

If this is leading into a fucking ad.

Oh, no, it's not.

Okay, I was going to say,

I can't imagine that

whatever that fucking site is that pays us

wants a lead-in of you teaching a minor how to bet.

And not only that, she keeps losing.

No, she likes to play.

We like to play Uno, so I challenge her all the time.

And then the other day, she wanted to order dinner.

She loves ordering dinner.

She loves like cheeseburgers from this one place.

So I said, all right, I said, we'll have a bet.

She's like, like, what's that?

And I said, well, it's, you know, basically,

you know, what a bet is.

And I said, if I win, Rosie, you know, Mary Beth has to make dinner, just like any other night.

But if you win, we get to have, you can order.

And so she said, okay.

And then it turned into if either Mary Beth or Sage wins,

we get to order.

So it's now two against three.

Statistically, the odds are stacked against me.

I win three games the first time, and I'm like, sorry, but you know, she has to make dinner.

And then we played again yesterday, and I won again.

Now, statistically, now, this should not be happening.

I shouldn't be winning this much, like, especially me against both of them.

And I almost threw the game for her yesterday, and then I was like, you know what?

Let her learn.

Let her learn because eventually what's going to happen is I'm going to start losing all these games in a row, and we're going to be ordering like crazy.

So

her day will come.

But I was wondering,

is that setting a bad example if I throw the game to

let her win?

Or does she need to learn defeat?

In a world where

defeat is just around the corner for all of us.

Is there, like, why on earth?

Everywhere I turn, you're right.

Why do you want to teach her that

when you could make Lace at home, like, her win?

I don't know.

I don't know.

She's been winning her whole whole fucking life, this kid.

You know?

Everybody likes her.

Everything turns out.

What did she get bit or something like that?

That girl didn't seem to like her.

Yeah, the one who bit her.

Yeah.

I don't even think we ever talked about that.

Did we talk about that on the show, Q?

No, what happened?

She got bit?

Yeah, she was at school.

Well, she wasn't at school.

Like, they go out on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

They go out to a work site.

And they do little tasks and jobs that they're assigned.

So she was at lunch and she got ketchup on her pants.

And this other girl kept like touching the ketchup spot on her pants.

And she told, from what this is what I was told,

she asked her, like, can you stop that?

And the girl freaked out and bit her on the chest.

And it was a nasty bite, too.

Like, I saw it.

And

it was a friend of hers, somebody she's been going to school with since, you know, probably fifth grade.

But just in that moment, didn't want to be told not to touch the ketchup stain.

And then the school won't tell you anything about it either.

You're like, well, who did it?

They're like, well, we can't say.

And we knew who did it because Sage told us.

And then we talked to the mom of the girl who did it, and she was like, they wouldn't tell me who she bit.

Why do you think that is?

I asked Rupert, and he said that, like, they're not allowed to say shit about anybody at school.

Even if somebody assaults your child, they won't tell you who did it.

They won't tell you who did it.

Yeah.

I found that to be pretty surprising.

That's shocking.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I guess it has to be like a newsworthy story that has a viral video that goes along with it.

And then you get to find out.

But otherwise, yeah,

they would not say anything about it.

I thought it was strange.

So did her and a friend make up?

Is this.

They made up, yeah.

They

made up and they're buddies again.

Yeah, but then all it's well that ends well.

Yeah.

But this is the same school that, like, you know, like, they're, like,

keep

hammering home.

That's her snort.

They keep hammering at like, you know, Sage feeling safe at school with the other stuff with the like, you know,

the ghosts under the bed and all the other bullshit that she was talking.

And the question was, like, well, how is she supposed to feel safe at school if people are attacking and biting her?

And she's like, no, no, she's safe there.

It's like, no, she's not.

She is not.

By definition, she's not.

She just got attacked again.

Yeah, but

you want to be careful because, you know, Sage goes in and tells school that you're fucking betting and taking her and

making her lose four straight times that you turn the tables on you.

That's true.

She's being abused at home by betting.

But they want to know everything.

They want to know if you have guns in the house.

Well, they can ask you.

They're access to guns.

Yeah, they can ask you.

But

they can't tell you who bit her, but they can tell you who bit her.

Yeah.

No.

Wow.

Yeah.

I thought that was strange.

Walt,

I just went back based on a conversation we had last week.

I re-watched the newer Planet of the Apes to get ready for

the new one, the fourth one that's coming out.

Dude, how could the old Planet of the Apes be better than these?

They were so fucked.

Every one of these were fucking great, those three.

They were really good, but are you familiar with the old ones too or no?

Anytime I've seen the old ones, I always just thought they were kind of corny.

But man, like, this is...

these were fucking excellent, man.

I forgot how good for War for the Planet to the Apes was, man.

It was unbelievable.

It's really, they are really good, but are you sure you gave the originals a fair shot, a fair shake?

That you're like, these are corny?

There was no corn in any of those movies.

Isn't he kissing a monkey in one?

I don't know.

What, you mean Taylor kissing Zira?

I mean, yeah, that's always what I remember as a kid watching that and being like,

why?

He's kissing an animal.

All right.

Yeah,

I agree with you.

Those new eight movies, I feel, are criminally underrated in terms of

giving respect to the original franchise and really not,

you know, disrespecting or doing anything but honoring the original and really elevating the new stuff.

And they don't get a lot of credit for that.

They're kind of forgotten those movies.

That's the reason I brought it up because I was like, I can't believe these aren't talked about more.

The third one is amazing.

It's more of a prison break movie than fucking anything.

I was like, you're spending more than half the movie in a prison.

I was like, this is fucking unbelievable.

Dude, I was so, and I had seen it before, and I was so fucking into it that I was just like on the edge of my seat, like fucking fucking like whole, you know, I was getting worried and stuff like that.

I'd seen the movie.

It was blown fucking away.

And I was like, I can't see how the original is better than this.

I can't.

Well, I think you've got to sit down and watch him and give him a fair shot there.

I mean, you can't deny that the original has the most shocking

M.

Light Shimani ending ever when, you know, in the Statue of Liberty.

I mean, no one saw that shit coming.

That was the granddaddy of M.

Scheit Milan, whatever the guy's name was.

I get that.

Right?

I mean, that was.

I mean, that's accurate.

That was the guy who, like, you know, they did it first, and they did it.

I don't know if there's been a more shocking ending or like twist ending, like, gut punch than that Statue of Liberty.

Nobody saw that coming, I bet you.

I bet you people were like

catonic.

in the theater as the credits rolled with that fucking

after seeing that when they didn't know about it pre-internet you know when you walked in you saw that that had to be like chilling yeah you're right i could see it how many how many ape movies are there five in the original run five five and they're all good or like just watch the fight too i think the first one is a masterpiece i think the second one is so strange that you'll love it it's so weird uh Charlton Heston didn't want to do it and so he only is in it for a couple moments of the film and they get a look-alike

astronaut to come in.

Not that it kind of looks like him, a younger version of him.

He's not playing Heston in the movie, but it's another handsome guy that hooks up with Nova, the

savage chick Nova.

And Escape is just the most underrated of them all, where they come to the present time.

I gotta watch him.

I gotta watch him.

They blow up the world at the end of Beneath the Planet of the Apes.

They literally blow it up.

But the monkeys

take a rocket ship and go back in time just as the Earth blows up to our time.

Okay.

It's so

the science fiction is on, like, it's like, if you love comics, you will fall in love with these movies.

They are the first, I believe,

walking, talking motion pictures for comic book geeks.

They are.

They're really well done.

They're slower, though.

I'm going to cop to that.

It does take, I know you're 20, but

you have to try to have some patience, you whipper snapper, because

they don't have the same level of like

like kinetic fucking energy and and fuck something's happening at all times.

They make you they pace it out.

They pace it out.

And Conquest is great too.

That's the third one.

That's the fourth one.

And the last one's not that great.

It's called

Battle for the Planet of the Apes.

And it's they the the budget was fucking thir like the cut by a third.

They The makeup's not good on all the apes in the background.

You could see the rubber masks.

They didn't have the same level of budget to do it, and they kind of phoned it in.

But one through four, I dig.

What about the TV show?

I love the TV show, but I may only love it because I grew up on it.

I may have a

soft spot for it that I'm neglecting that it wasn't that great because I love it because I remember growing up on it.

And where does it take place in the timeline?

Because I think the TV show is really my only growing up was my only real, aside from seeing the first movie at some point.

They basically just made an influence.

Yeah,

an astronaut went into the past.

Two astronauts go into the past.

They wind up in the future and they're trying to figure shit out.

But there's no.

So it's a reboot.

Yeah, basically, yeah.

Okay, okay.

All right.

Well, thank you for the history lesson on it.

I'm going to watch.

I'm going to watch the first one tonight.

Yeah, it's good.

I mean, and also, you know, you got to think back, too, that the era was released with the civil rights and everything, and

it was like playing on two different levels.

They were making statements

that,

you know,

were very

deep and of its time,

but using the role of

man and apes for, you know, the current world events, you know, the parallels.

right?

And Heston,

Heston's the bomb, you know, Heston, you gotta love Charlton Heston, right?

Uh, yeah, you know, I don't have that love for him.

That, that, uh, well, what is Charlton Heston's big hits besides apes?

Earthquake,

um,

The Omega Man,

Omega Man, right, right.

Um,

that Bible movie, oh, yeah, Ben.

Oh, yeah, the Ten Commandments.

That's he's a fucking, oh, my gosh, man.

Everybody wants to fucking

get with fucking Heston after the Ten Commandments.

Oh, who was he, Moses?

He was like the first action hero, man.

Yeah, I get it, and I understand his place in history, but I don't think I've ever been like, yeah, Heston's my man, type of thing.

Like, Eastwood, I would say, is more

my type than Heston.

I'm going to call it right here, right now.

If BQ is going to have chills up and down his back when Heston fucking delivers the fucking line, especially after you give it, you watch the whole movie when he goes, get your fucking damn dirty paws off me, you damn dirty ape.

I'm sure he said damn and dirty.

He didn't say it twice.

I didn't say fucking either.

Oh, but

it's delivered so well.

He should have got the Academy for that.

Really?

Just that line, yeah.

So well done.

Great, great stuff.

All right.

I mean, these three were so good.

I'm going to jump back in.

I'll give it a shot.

I'll give it a shot.

When's the new one come out?

Next week.

I'll be there.

Next week.

Oh, I'll definitely be there, man.

Between that and the fall guy, you guys, I can't wait for the fucking fall guy, man.

I feel like they're starting to make movies kind of fun again.

Like, I look at that fall guy trailer and I'm like, all right, this looks like I shut my brain off and fucking watched some funny shit for a couple hours.

This is what I'm talking about.

Did you watch the show?

When I was a kid, yeah, that I did watch.

I did not watch.

I don't have any experience with the fall guy, so maybe that's why it kind of like goes over my head.

I have no excitement for it.

Oh, I don't have any reverence for it.

I'm not like, let's see what Easter eggs they get in this movie.

I'm literally like,

I just, I watch that trailer and I'm like, this looks like they're having so much fun in this movie.

That's what I want to say.

Yeah, I don't care about it.

Although, it's not a bad idea for a TV show.

A guy who's a stuntman, who at night is a private detective.

I mean, that sounds like a pretty good fucking setup to me.

Yeah.

You know?

Yeah.

Lee Mages.

I'm into that.

Yeah, he was.

Lee Mages.

He's in this, too.

I guess he makes a cameo.

After leaving the business one year earlier, battle-scarred stuntman Colt Seaver springs back into action when the star of a big studio movie suddenly disappears.

All right.

And it's a two-hour and five-minute comedy.

That's long.

Are you worried that it's a comedy?

No, I like.

I'm excited that it's a comedy.

Yeah, that's what I mean.

I just want to have fucking fun.

You know what I mean?

Give me goofy fun.

No lessons.

I don't want to learn any lessons in the fall guy.

I just want to watch an idiot blunder through a case.

Like, that's all I want.

Did you catch Dune 2?

No, I didn't.

No, okay.

The first Dune, it didn't really hit with me.

I thought it was good.

I thought the second one was good, too.

Yeah.

They're not fun, though.

I would not use the word fun to describe them, though.

They're pretty bleak and

super serious and super grim.

But I like that, too.

Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, I'm into that.

I just,

I just, I'm in the mood to sink my teeth into nonsense.

You know?

I hear you.

You're a Ryan Gosling fan?

I mean, he's yet to let me down.

From the fucking notebook all the way up.

Actually, I didn't like La La Land that much.

But aside from that, uh, yeah, the guy has yet to let me down.

He's my favorite part of Barbie, so I'm in.

Yeah, he was good in Barbie,

he was so good in Barbie.

You're just like, How does a guy have this much talent?

It's crazy,

bastard.

And at first, I'm trying to convince myself that those were not his real abs.

Oh, those are his abs.

Yeah, I know, yeah,

it can't be.

I was told the other day that I was putting Mary Beth off because I was paying attention to her.

I decided like, because a lot of times

I find myself not listening to what she's saying because she tends to babble about shit.

So I'm like, all right, you know what?

I'm going to start listening because a lot of times I get caught where she's like, you know what?

I'm like, what?

What are you talking about?

Yeah.

And

so I paid attention to her the other day and she goes, stop.

What do you mean, stop?

And she goes, just don't like look at me when I'm talking to you like that.

And I was like, what?

I'm paying attention.

She goes, I know I'm not used to it.

It actually put her off because I was making a determined effort to listen to her.

What was the conversation, though, that you were paying attention to?

It was

something about her mom.

I don't remember.

Was it frivolous or was it important?

It always is.

She likes to babble.

It's almost like she's talking to herself, but you happen to be in the room, so you're held accountable dude i think you married pam oh you would think

yeah you can't be more on the honey

well as we learned last week i sucked on both their tits

you would i mean freud what's that guy oh freud freud would you you would be his prize fucking study i think yeah i think you'd have a field day with you together talking about moms

yeah i think you're right

what'd you say so what's the solution here?

If you can't win listening and you can't win not listening,

I would not listen then.

It's the

least resistance, right?

Just don't listen.

I'm not going to be quizzed on any of this shit anyway, so it doesn't really matter.

But what if you were to institute, or not institute, what if you were to start a deep conversation?

What if it was like paying attention isn't just about listening to a rattle about her mom, but like asking her opinions on world events and philosophical leaning.

She would not know a goddamn thing about world events.

She only knows what I walk around the house yelling about.

That's where she gets all her news.

You like the town crier?

Can you believe the shit?

Oh, it sounds good.

No, it it does sound very much like you're still in the honeymoon period to me.

What do you got going on, Q?

You got anything, anything of any good, anything happened in the past week or anything you're looking forward to coming up?

Really, just the Planet of the Apes at Fall Guys in Magic Old BQ.

Got the, you know, I got the Radio City, got this, that, the other thing.

No, not not really, man.

I'm just, you know, in that thing where my head's down and I'm working.

No, no, there's really no time for love,

as they say.

Sad.

Yeah, it's tough.

Yeah, we got, I mean,

it sounds like we're all three of us are struggling for

worthy podcast fucking discussions.

I got to do something.

I just got to do something.

I got to talk about it.

We will talk about Radio City next week.

I mean, yes, BQ can talk about it.

How could we talk?

We sat in the audience and watched.

I'm hoping I get attacked outside radio.

Something to talk about.

Some panhandler hits me over the head, whatever.

You guys,

there's so much to talk about.

How could you feel that way?

Okay, I guess that's it then.

Yeah, well, now we're off to, yeah, now we're off to meet.

We're going to work on more of Bri Tries right after we sign off here.

Yeah, no, don't reveal.

All right.

I won't reveal it.

Yeah.

So should I say

tell them, Steve Dave?

I mean,

if you.

Yeah, I guess.

That's usually what comes next.

Tell them, Steve Dave.

We're sorry.