#589: PB&T

Your hot teacher's foot is a new is a new kissing booth.

Fuck the kids,

fuck the charity.

I don't want a relationship to start off on a lie.

I've got no dick.

Tell him, Steve, Dave.

Hello, and welcome to this week's edition of Tell him Steve Dave, here with a Walt.

Hello.

And here with BQ.

Hello.

Hello, everybody.

Hey, guys.

How's everybody doing today?

That's the question.

Great.

I mean, great.

Yeah, today's a great day.

I've been like

fucking busy and awash in depression for like a week, man.

I'm at a rough haul over here on my time.

Really?

Dude, I'm like in the fucking, I'm like in the pits.

But

I have excellent friends, including you guys, who have been dealing with, I want to tell them, Steve Dave audience,

you guys have have been so great behind the scenes with my schedule and moving things around and stuff like that.

So thank you guys.

This has been a really busy time for me, and you guys have been very, very helpful.

And I love you very much for it.

So thank you guys.

You know, it really comes with

two-thirds of Tellum Steve Dave

has almost nothing to do 24-7.

So it's like, it's pretty easy to be.

Just soak up the compliments.

Just soak them up.

Yeah, but we're so applied.

Even with that, though, you guys have not even been like because it's been it's been a brute, like it's been a pretty brutal few like month for me, schedule-wise.

And you guys have just rolled with every punch.

And I look, you could say one thing, but what I'd like to say is I really appreciate you guys

doing what you've been doing for me.

I really do.

So thank you.

It's easy.

It's easy.

Okay.

Well, it's easy to appreciate, too, Walter.

I mean, Walt.

I know you don't like Walter.

Sorry.

Thank you.

Anything.

It doesn't.

Call me Walter.

Call me Walt.

Just call me.

Yeah.

But here we are.

Here we are.

Here we are.

Here we are.

The one thing I want to talk to you about immediately.

Well, first off,

I checked with the couch thing.

You know, you said your buddy was like with the sister.

Oh, okay.

We sat on opposite ends of the couch.

Yeah.

So I asked Mary Beth, I said, you know, if I

was doing this with, I don't know, she has a brother, so I think it would have been really weird.

So I said, you know, your sister-in-law.

She thought about it a little while, and she said, you know what?

As long as you weren't doing it in secret, you know,

I don't care.

What a fucking.

Might be this young mindset.

I guess so.

It's an unexpected mindset.

But all right.

Hey, man.

What are you going to do?

Teach their own.

I'm probably not going to do it, but still.

Yeah, I know.

I didn't ask the sister-in-law yet.

I appreciate you getting that information to me, Brian.

Thank you.

So, yeah, so it is more than just this weird guy and his weird sister and weird wife.

His wife's normal.

She's the normal one.

She's the normal.

There's been no developments.

I talked to him yesterday.

There's been no developments.

No.

No, I think he's just talking shit at this point.

I don't know.

I don't care.

Nor do I care.

You know, what are you going to do?

But thank you for following up.

No.

This thing that I wanted to bring up,

it's a news story.

I'm sure you've, Walt, I know we talked about it very briefly the other night, or at least touched on it.

Disturbing video shows teens sucking and licking each other's toes at school-sanctioned event as agency investigates.

What?

Have you heard about this story?

I have not, but that seems like if you're going to have the teens doing anything, it sounds like a fairly low-risk

thing for them to do, no?

Low-risk?

In what way?

Oh, they can't get pregnant.

They can't get an STD.

Well, aren't they?

Or I thought they were licking the teacher's toes.

That's what I thought.

Further investigation?

No, it's high school students between 9th and 12th grade who

volunteered in challenges to help raise money for their annual philanthropy week.

So it's just students from 9th to 12th grade who all agreed to this and their parents, I guess, agreed to this.

Oh, I thought you meant it was like something the kids are doing today

with each other.

Like they got it to foot play.

Oh, you mean it's for a charity thing?

This is for a charity event.

And yeah, yeah, they had a bunch of different challenges.

And one of them was, you know, you have to lick the peanut butter off of somebody's toes.

That's weird.

Like, you know, a fellow student.

Now, when I thought it was the teachers, I was like, God damn, it's still like to this day,

it's still like,

they run it up the ladder up to a certain point, and then there isn't somebody to be like, no, let's not do this.

This is just going to cause trouble.

It's going to cause trouble.

But there are some teachers that I, like,

when I thought it was teachers getting their toes sucked,

for charity, I would have maybe

saved up a couple days of lunch money and sucked on a certain teacher's toes.

Now,

I remember the teachers we have.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah.

Aside from Ms.

Stavola.

That's one.

Okay.

There's only one.

Wow.

I didn't think of that.

Yes, Ms.

Stavola, we remember you all these years later.

Since you have the

kissing booth has gone the way of the dinosaur in terms of raising money for charity,

I guess this is the 2024 version of the kissing booth.

Your hot teacher's foot is

a new kissing booth?

Well,

again, though, I think the story

really was picked up erroneously as it was that like it was like these weird perverted teachers were getting their toes sucked by the students, but it turns out,

you know, at first glance, that wasn't what happened.

It was students on students.

Student on student action.

There's plenty of students in high school that are like, you know,

for a buck, I can go suck on that girl's toes.

A buck?

That's it.

That's it.

Yeah.

Okay.

I guess when you put it that way, if I was a teenage boy and it was...

There's a lot of dry spells during those teenage years for some of us.

Maybe not BQ, but boy, I'll tell you, I can take a look at.

Well, well i went to an old boy school dude there was

there was plenty of dry spells

to me looking at salon murray and joe being like you want to get your feet out bro i'll suck your feet i wonder how their toes would taste

i mean you you you look at uh you know uh you look at a ketchup bottle the wrong way you get a heart on as a teenager and it looks like it looks like it's got a curve to it it's got some it's got some beautiful curves so you tell me all of a sudden i could put my toe a girl's toes in my mouth for a buck seems worth it right right?

Although a shy Walt Flanagan in front of a whole gymnasium full of people, I don't know.

Yeah, I would be, yeah, but, you know, I might power through it.

I'd cheer you on.

I think it might be like if it was me, if I was that age and I was doing this, I might be like, no, fuck that.

I want to have the hot chicks look at my feet.

I'll put my feet up for

auction.

Oh, okay.

Well, definitely I'm out then because I got some gnarly ass toes.

Okay.

Definitely would not be showing those toes to the school.

Even back then, as soon as the girl looks at him, it's going to, you know, it's going to be like, it's going to be,

it's going to be bad news.

It's not going to, it's going to be like, can I get my dollar back?

I'll be like, I'll pay $2 to not lick those feet.

What really struck me about this story, though, was how

people reacted to it in terms of like the Fox 25 News says graphic warning

on their Twitter feed, right?

And then it, you know, it shows, first off, everybody's digied out.

You can't see shit.

Like, you can see a person's head by a person's feet, and that's about it.

They're not showing like anything.

I guess everybody was cheering.

It was the video racked up nearly 50 million views in 24 hours, and it led to a formal investigation by the Oklahoma State Department of Education.

See, and that's where you've got to have somebody at the top who's like,

what could happen?

What are the fallouts if this

is taken and it gets chosen?

If a bunch of fucking babies get all upset about it.

Yeah, if this gets, like, it will be Devin.

I could lose my job.

Yes.

I could lose everything I worked for because I'm not saying no to these kids sucking each other's toes.

Yeah, exactly.

This is Superintendent Ryan Walters said, this is disgusting.

We are cleaning up this filth in Oklahoma schools and our agency is investigating.

Administrators initially applauded its students for their involvement in the wonderful week of fundraising,

which raised $152,000,

but then later apologized to the student body and its students.

You know, the people on the committee who are like, okay, what are we going to do this year to raise money?

You know, there was some pervas, like, you know what, we could do

get kids to suck each other's toes, and I'll watch.

You know, it's some fucking pervas.

Yeah, there's some janitor.

Don't you have a fucking bad man?

Leaning on his brew.

Do you want a floor to Bob?

Toe, Bob?

Hey, Freddy Krueger, why don't you go fucking back

to your boiler room and just let us handle the fundraising?

He's like, I got nothing to do with this.

So why is everybody on me?

Oh, I'm the creepy janitor, am I?

What was that thing they used to buff the floors with?

The giant circular thing?

But you know what the toes will be cleaner than what I could do with this.

You guys want clean toes or not?

It's funny is because it's happening in such like a formative time in these teenagers' psyche is like probably like a hundred foot fetishists were born that day, right?

Because their crush was that was up there and they got down and licked their foot and they were like, oh, that's what I like.

That's what I like.

There's a good chance it did something for someone.

And as it should.

There are plenty of people that, it might not be my cup cup of tea.

You know, I've never been a foot guy myself, but like

plenty of people love it.

I don't think it's looked on as a particularly weird one these days, right?

But it could have gone south, though, for some people, too.

If like you got a toe and you're like, you could wait to suck on that girl's toes, but maybe it didn't taste right.

Maybe it just, maybe she wasn't ready for it.

Like she didn't know that today was a day that

she could get her toes sucked.

So she fucked up his fetish on him?

Yeah,

she didn't take care of her toes as properly as she would have.

Manicured.

If she knew there was going to be toe sucking at school today,

it's like, I have my foot period.

I can't.

Oh, God.

What a world.

So

Texas Senator Ted Cruz called the activity child abuse.

To which this administrator, the superintendent guy, said, I completely agree.

We are stopping this in Oklahoma because I'm sure it's an ongoing issue.

Look, I mean, there is no two ways about it.

This is a story that I think is one of the rare ones that both, I could see both sides.

I could see one side being like, the kids be like, this is the fucking greatest day of school ever.

Sure.

Can I also feel her up too?

I got more dollars?

You got to go to fantasies for that, son.

And I can see the other side being like, this is the most fucked up thing you've ever approved.

Right.

Principal.

Like, your head on a fucking stick is the only thing that's worthy of it.

But you can see, like, like something like this in the 80s, even the 90s, probably flying and nobody really getting upset about it.

No cell phones.

No cell phones, no $50 million, no 50 million views on YouTube.

No internet.

No, no, a whole bunch of shit.

It plays into the fact that you could have done it in the 80s and it still would be fucking remembered on our deathbeds.

We're all in a nursing home.

Remember that time?

We sucked on?

Totally.

Well,

what does that tell you?

Like,

because in the 80s, you would have been like, ah, the 80s were fucked up.

But, you know, the kids probably had fun.

But, like, it's only a big deal now because so many people know about it.

Yes.

So, I mean, that tells you so much that you need to know about humanity right there.

I mean, it says so much, doesn't it?

But it's a bunch of people that are like, like you say, Walter, they're afraid for their job.

So they're like, or they know

what lane they're supposed to be in.

So they're like, let's totally overreact to this.

Like, let's put on graphic warnings.

Like, if you have graphic warnings for this, what the fuck do you have for like Vietnam-era war footage?

Like, it's not graphic.

You can't see shit, first of all.

All right, but I'm going to ask you both guys the same question.

Please answer.

Answer, give Q time to answer them, Bri.

Q, you're the principal of this school.

Yeah.

And the committee comes to you and it's like, this is what we're, these are some of the events we have planned for the fundraising night.

And we're going to kick, we're going to end it with the best one.

Kids are going to to pay money to suck on each other's toes.

Yeah.

What do you do?

We just need your final approval on this.

We need you to rubber stamp this one, Principal Cube.

Yeah, I would be like, How many years am I from retiring?

10, 10 years?

No.

No, I would probably, I probably would have been like, look, man, can we do a square dance or something like that?

I don't need to see.

You remember square dances in school?

Did you guys have that shit?

We didn't have.

I remember

learning disco dancing in gym class, but that was the only kind of dancing I recall us doing.

They used to put us.

But then Joe Bob comes by and he's like, Principal, this is a great idea.

I'm telling you.

It's a winner.

Joe Bob, get back to your boiler room, Joe Bob.

Get out of here.

It's interesting because

the reason I think it's becoming such a big deal is because

the right-leaning

people of the country are really invested in making schools look like it's like fucking Sodom and Gomorrah right now, right?

Like they want to portray the country as kind of out of off the rails a little bit, morality.

You know, it's an election year.

They're like, yeah, look at what's happening under Biden.

This is Foot Looking coming on.

Toe sucking.

Toe sucking is

kind of exactly right down what they're looking for.

Right.

They're looking for it.

They found it.

So they're going to make a red meat out.

They're going to make, they're going to say, like, oh, it's a warning.

You can't watch this.

And it's sick.

And blah, blah, blah.

It's election year.

They're trying to, they're trying, you know what I mean?

I don't know how much they.

But Principal Q is going to veto.

Going to come down.

No toe sucking it.

Principal Q just wants to go home at 3 fucking 30 when the bell rings

and not deal with any of this shit.

Fuck the kids.

Fuck the charity.

I'd be like, I don't care about the charity.

I'm canceling the whole event.

The whole fucking event.

150 grand in the hole now.

What about Principal Bry?

Principal Bry,

it depends on what decade.

Well,

it's 2024.

It's 2024.

You pay your mortgage.

You got a job to do.

And you know that there's a very good chance this could come back and be pretty scandalous and cost you your job.

Right.

So I say to the people who suggested, I was like, look.

Not since peanut butter and chocolate have I been more interested in seeing peanut butter get mixed with something.

But I'm going to tell you right out of the gate, people are not going to like this.

There's going to be some funny duddies.

Now, all my instincts want to go to like, yes, it's fucking harmless.

It's like the 50s equivalent of stuffing yourself into the, or 2024 equivalent of like putting yourself in a telephone booth with like a bunch of other teenagers or something, rubbing up against them.

Oh, yeah.

You know, that kind of stuff.

Yeah.

So

while on the surface, I think it's harmless and the footage certainly would not be graphic, I'm going to have to put the gabosh on it.

I would have to do it.

Principal Bry fucking conforming.

Yeah.

Buckling.

Principal Bry likes living in a house too much.

He likes living in a house.

Living in a house too much.

Principals be damned.

Yeah, exactly.

Yeah, that's the irony here.

But, principal, I read this article about you with pronouns.

Are you sure you're against this?

Get out of my office.

Yeah.

You?

Everyone responds to you.

Off with you.

Get out of here, Joe Bob.

I don't care what your pronouns are.

Oh, it's funny.

Yeah,

that was something I really like.

The thing that struck me the most in this story was just how...

And I hadn't considered that.

I hadn't considered the angle of like, let's whip it up like it's a big fucking deal so that like we can show how morally outraged we are by this and that one the other if it was the if it was the what we thought it was initially kids sucking on the teacher's toes totally different story once you mix kids and adults yeah

i don't think there's any any situation where i was there's no gray area no not there

because i saw some of the feet and honestly i did think they were teachers feet they looked like like kind of like fat feet i thought you know yeah But uh, so I thought they were like older women, but no, it turns out it was just teenagers.

I know.

I'm sorry to anybody out there who I foot shamed.

Principal Bry wants to keep his house.

I don't want to lose it.

It's a tightrope if you're a principal.

It really is, yeah.

Yeah, like I look at, like, we have guys who work with us and they're teachers, and I'm like, I don't know how you do it.

Like, how do you, how do you not throw out a remark that could be taken the wrong way?

How do you not

like use a pronoun that somebody's like, oh my God, you just ended my life.

Like,

like you say, like, like,

it's beyond tightrope, yeah.

I was like, every minute of every day, I have to keep myself in check.

Fuck that shit.

That's not a job for me.

I knew a woman that

was a teacher.

And the reason she quit, she was telling me the story, and I was like, hmm, I don't know.

But she was using the word retarded in class, but she was like, I was using it correctly.

She was like, I was just saying like, yeah, and then like this,

the flow of something into something, she's like, it wasn't even involving a human she was just like and then because it was retarded because of a and she said retarded like three times and like students went and complained to the teacher like she went in there and started dropping the n-word everywhere and she was like I can't fucking take this.

She's like I'm using it correctly and not even to do with a person.

And I was like, yeah,

but

there's, you got to admit, there are some words that you can use correctly

and you know they're going to be like, even if they're used correctly, you're going to like race of eyebrows and coyotes.

Find another word.

Yeah, find other words.

I agree with you.

Like, I know a word that means cheap.

That it's easier just to say, hey, stop being so cheap rather than this word, which is definitely going to make more than one person turn their head and say, like, yeah, use a different word.

Isn't it fucking bizarre, though?

Like, now we live in a world where it's like, don't just not use that word.

But any word that might remind me of that word, you also can't use that one.

You can.

You can't be on on your toes, though.

Yeah, it's a good thing.

Right?

You got to keep yourself on your toes.

You're always like on the balls of your feet, ready to jump whichever direction you got to jump to make sure you keep your job.

Day and them, whatever you say, man.

Just counting money.

Yep, yep, no problem.

Whatever you guys want.

I have a

listener email.

I know you guys love giving advice.

Timmy wrote in something pretty,

I thought that you would like to read on air and maybe help an aunt with his problems.

I would love to.

All right.

So, hello, Brian WaltonQ.

I have been listening to Tell him Steve Dave since 2012, and I consider myself a lifelong aunt.

I was hoping I could get some relationship advice because I'm at my wit's end.

Oh, we got you covered, bro.

Okay, don't worry.

We're going to figure this out.

I've been going steady with this girl for about two years.

She's really cool.

How old is he?

I'm sorry.

How old is he?

I just needed that info at the beginning.

He did not say.

Well, that matters a lot, but all right, keep going.

Yeah, it doesn't say up to this point.

Well, let's say he's been listening.

That's not a good way to judge it.

Okay, anyway.

So, I would say post-30, absolutely.

Okay, great.

Yeah.

Okay.

So, she's really cool considering she has more demons than hell itself, but I can't get over her past and how much of a slut she was.

Signed Brian Johnson.

No.

I met her on a dating app on the profile and was just

and she was just giving her body away.

I thought she was a bot when she messaged me at first.

Quickly, I realized she wasn't a scammer, and a week later, we set a date.

During that week, I heard so many stories of her sex life.

Sadly, that's what I heard for the next eight months, non-stop.

On that first date, she's telling me she was planning on killing herself on a holiday that was just three weeks away.

I don't even need to hear anymore, but if you want to keep going,

it gets, I mean, not better, but it gets different.

The girl was an alcoholic and a pill popper, meds for depression, and she acted like the people you see living in the street.

I can't get past her past because of how long it is.

And she, in a drunken state, she would tell me non-stop.

She comes from a bad family with an evil dad, so I guess I can't blame her for anything.

She's sober-ish now, but she still brings up her past from time to time, and I can't escape it or accept it.

I'm not happy with her, but I'm worried if I break up with her, she'll kill herself.

I don't know what to do.

She has no family or friends.

She's a really kind-hearted person, but she damaged the relationship before it got started.

Any advice you could give me would be greatly appreciated.

Wow.

That's a tough one.

It doesn't seem like a tough one.

Oh, okay.

I would have thought that one would be

a conundrum here.

No, I think that he.

The conundrum is two years in already.

Yeah.

And now he's asking for this advice.

I feel like the slut thing, it's like, look, dude, like,

that's up to everybody's individual thing what they can put up with their partner's past.

Like, it never really bothered me, you know.

Like, what are you going to do?

Like, I don't know.

That's up to him, but I will say, like, dude, you got to get out.

You can't stay in a relationship because you think a person's going to kill themselves.

Because, news for you, they're probably not.

They're probably not going to do it.

And even if they do, it's not on you.

Like, if the only thing keeping this person alive is you trapped in their web,

you know, well, you got to look out for yourself at a certain point.

I'm not saying, like, be a dick about it, but, like, you, you can't let other people run your life like that.

I would

like, I don't understand.

She's giving away her body on.

And I'm sorry if

I'm coming off a little manic.

I'm actually in a good mood.

Like, you guys have put me in a good mood for the first time in like a week.

So I'm like, actually, like, so, but, like, like, if she came at you with there's two different things, right?

Like, I've dated girls who have extensive pasts, and I've liked hearing the stories.

You know what I mean?

So, it's like, I don't know that it's,

it's kind of a personal thing.

So if it's bothering him, he's not, I wouldn't call her a slut, but like he's not wrong for not being comfortable with it.

But

he is, he shouldn't stay in a relationship if she's just going to.

She didn't even say she was going to kill herself.

He's like, I think she'll kill herself if...

If I leave.

I think that's what you said, Ray Walt.

Yeah.

Yeah, just get out, bro.

You can't put that on yourself.

And your own life is short, and time's a wasting.

But I would, I would, you've already, he's already been in for.

I mean, he's like, if on the first date, she's like, yeah, I'm thinking about killing myself in three weeks on this special holiday, then it didn't happen.

And I'm sure there have been more threats of that type of stuff or talk of it, at least.

Yeah.

And it hasn't happened.

And you're right, man.

You can't hold somebody hostage or you shouldn't allow yourself to be held hostage by somebody else's mental fuck up.

Yeah.

And we've all done it.

I've done it.

Sure.

I've done it.

But I don't know.

There shouldn't have been a second date.

I would say get out, bud, and like, you know, just examine your values as opposed to like the sexuality of your partners and

without judgment, head in that direction.

You can't be with someone that you're like, she was a fucking slut, unless you like the fact that she was a fucking slut.

You know what I mean?

And there are plenty of people who like that.

Yeah, there are lots of guys.

They don't want a new car.

They want a car with like fucking 100,000 miles on it because that car knows how to drive.

That car knows how to drive very well.

But get out.

If I even go out and get somebody as like a contractor from my house, I'm not going to get an apprentice.

I'm not going to get a guy who, like, it's his first day on the job.

Right.

Right.

You know, I want an experienced contractor.

You want a contractor that knows what they're doing.

Yeah, who knows how to nail and screw and shit like that.

Yeah.

To me, I think of the, of the, of a song that this, this made me, uh,

this song kept playing in my head when I was reading this email.

It's from

It Don't Matter to Me by Bread.

Do you guys familiar with that song?

It Don't Matter to Me.

But there's a great verse in here, and I think this is what it could sum it up.

A lot of people have an ego hang-up because they want to be the only one.

How many came before it really doesn't matter just as long as you're the last.

Everybody's moving on trying to find out out what's been missing in the past.

Right?

I mean, that's

pretty fucking powerful lyrics by the Bread

Geniuses, Bread,

from 1972.

I mean, they laid it all out there, and

I think that kind of sums it up, right?

I mean, what matters, does the past really matter?

It does.

Look, if she fucked every one of your friends, like, you know, I could see the past mattering a little bit, but if it's dudes, you don't know,

you know, I don't think it matters.

Also, like, why are you telling this on the first date?

And then drunkenly repeating it no matter how many times you say he doesn't want to hear it.

Well, that's the thing.

Like, in his email, the only upshot to this entire relationship was at one point he goes, she's a kind-hearted person.

Yeah.

Other than that, I didn't see

much of an upside to.

I mean, she's probably good at bad.

I mean, he didn't mention that, but she probably knows what she's doing in the sack.

That's always a plus.

Couldn't he just go to her and be like look

can you look can we not talk about this any longer can we just not bring this subject up

i mean i would hope he's not writing to us and then the the answer is like ask her not to talk about it like i have to imagine he's done this by this puts me in a this puts me in a kind of a crummy mood when you bring up this it's a bummer man yeah she's sucking all that cock could you could you not bring this up as you know if you feel like you must bring it up can we bring it up like gradually start to bring maybe just once a month we talk about it.

Yeah.

Kind of like until we get to a point where you don't need to talk about it anymore.

If that was her only issue, yes.

It's not her only issue.

And I think this goes, I mean, I've said this on the show before.

Relationships are supposed to make you feel good.

Relationships are supposed to be easy.

Like, I honestly feel that.

And if they don't make you feel good and they're not easy, get the fuck out.

There's no reason to stay in a relationship.

That's not those two things.

I feel.

That's sound.

Yeah.

That's very sound advice.

I saw Seth wrote.

Go ahead.

Well, obviously, like, look, if you're married 10 years and, like, you know, you had a family tragedy and it's not easy from that point, that's not what I mean.

I think I mean like in the relationship building stage of things.

That's get the fuck out.

In the world of dating, you mean

you make you feel good

and easy.

Yeah.

If it's not that, it's not for you.

Get the fuck out.

Because there is somebody that will make it easy and will make your life better.

And you deserve that.

There's somebody who's not going to talk about their extensive sex life prior to you.

Unless you want them to.

There's somebody who's not going to, yeah, right.

And there's somebody who's not going to throw, hey, man, I'm going to kill myself in your face and all that other stuff.

I've stayed in relationships far too long,

as you know, for reasons that were so unsound.

And like, and once the breakup happens, like, oh, well, that didn't happen.

Yeah.

Yeah.

So I could have been out years ago.

Years.

Years.

Years.

The only life you'll ever have.

Years.

Listen,

what was his name?

Ed, I think.

If you're listening right now.

I don't know if he wants us to give his name.

Okay.

Well, he gave his first name.

At any rate, years.

Yeah.

That's what we're talking about.

He's getting the advice from two men who, like,

this is sound advice, Nameless Ant.

And I think it's great advice.

from two people who care.

Yeah.

I think bottom line is like she has to.

She's lived.

Yeah, I've lived through shit like this.

She has to change her behavior or it's over.

Those are the only two options, right?

Like

even then, it sounds like he's.

I think it's up to him.

You know, like, like, you know, it's up to him.

He's got to say what makes him, what he likes about her or what he doesn't like.

And if she can deal with not like being explicitly,

that's the only topic of conversation.

You know, that's tough.

Like, no matter what you're doing, you're like, you're on vacation

or before you go to bed at night if that's all the conversation is it's just her conquest I I don't know if most guys could deal with that like but like you said some can and some are like tell me more

yeah sometimes there is something to like hearing about it like oh you dirty little girl blah blah blah but like yeah if it's like if it's uninvited and unwanted and seemingly unstoppable, she just won't stop talking about it.

Yeah, get rid of her and block the number.

Like get out, get out.

Like, clean cut.

You don't, you don't.

It had to be bothering him, though, or to prompt him to write the email.

Yeah.

He had nowhere else to turn.

He came to the right time.

And, like, her not having family or friends, trust me, I've come from that same spot.

She will find friends.

Yeah.

This seems to me to be the type of person that can find a friend.

Yeah.

Right?

Yeah.

If you.

A quote-unquote friend.

A quote-unquote friend.

A friend in need.

That's

a devastating fucking comment right there.

That says it all.

She will find a quote-unquote friend.

Yeah, she will.

She's found plenty in the past.

It sounds like she'll find more.

Yeah.

Get out, dude.

Just get out.

Run.

Yeah.

So say the Space Monkeys.

No, we never did get...

There was another guy on the cruise who said that the Space Monkeys advised him.

And when he took our advice, it went really south.

Oh, okay.

So if you could, I can't remember.

now.

I remember the guy's name was Ben.

Yeah, it's slowly sinking.

What does it take to get in the Hall of Fame?

Like, what kind of thing?

400.

400?

All right.

That's not so bad.

You got to get 4 out of 10 right.

4 out of 10, right?

Every problem solver.

Yeah.

And

I want to hear the story before I take the ding on our record because

his interpretation might not be the same as ours.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

So, Ben, if you could write into kmuse2 at gmail.com and just Walt will pass it on to me.

He didn't tell you what the problem was on the cruise?

He didn't tell us we were going to bring him up, and he was like, I'd rather you didn't.

But that would have been awesome.

But then all three nights, it just got so busy that we weren't able to bring him up with our natural break.

Yeah.

She should start a podcast just about all the guys she's fucked.

I'd listen to that.

Yeah, I think they had.

Didn't you party with a girl that already did that?

Oh, yeah, you're right about that.

Guys, we fucked her.

Yeah, you're right.

We don't need the competition, Kiel.

You're right.

You're right.

Always, always advise people not to start a podcast.

Yeah.

Because you don't know if that's the one podcast that someone's going to leave ours for.

That's how I think of it.

I had a girl.

I went to a live show of one of a podcast that I really liked, who are these podcasts?

And it was up in the city.

And there was a girl there who was a Tellum Steve Dave listener.

And she was like, Yeah, she's like, I started listening to this because you mentioned it on your show.

She's like, I don't even listen to Tellum Steve Dave anymore.

And

at once, I was just like, We got Wally Pipped.

Pipped.

I don't know if you know what that reference.

I don't know that reference, but it doesn't seem like it's good.

That was like a guy on his way to Shore Hall of Famer, played for the Yankees, and he sat out one game, and Lou Gehrig played in his place, and that guy never got his starting job back.

Because Lou Gehrig was so good.

Wally pipped.

It's called Get Wally Pipped.

He got pipped, bro.

He got pipped.

Yeah, that's why we don't ever want to promote any other up-and-coming podcasts.

My question was just like, you can't listen to two?

You don't have time, man.

Like, you're busy.

Something else.

We were there for her when she needed us, and then

she'll come back.

She might be back now.

Who knows?

Yeah, she'll be back.

Okay.

I heard from Fitzman.

Oh, really?

Yeah.

He was a guy he told me

he hasn't listened in quite some time.

Just has no desire to listen.

And for whatever reason, he said he just got soured on podcasting.

And I don't know, somebody must have told him that we mentioned him rather recently.

And he read, because I've mentioned, like, what happened to Fitzman?

Yeah, right, yeah.

That was not that long ago.

Yeah.

Apparently,

it's not the only thing, like, a lot of things went sour for poor.

For poor Fitzman, 73.

Yeah, so he said that he just kind of like was tired of fuck those guys.

Turned him against the world.

He's like,

I will be evil Fitz.

All right.

Poor Fitzman.

Let's see.

Something that's been keeping me on the go?

I don't think I'm on the go though, but I do listen to my Raycons in bed.

Yeah.

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And I'm also going to talk about Miundis here.

The thing about being a guy, all right, this is all guy stuff here with Miundis.

Yeah, we're pretty much stuck with what we've got appearance-wise.

Male makeup?

What, to go along with my powdered wig?

A peck push-up, brah?

What would the bros say, Walt?

Meggings that accentuate their caboose.

Dude, there's kids out there.

What?

Is this part of it?

Is you going off?

No,

this is on script.

This is word for word.

Yep.

Yeah, I'm not having a seizure.

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Wow, I can't believe it.

It took this long for a fucking underwear company to fucking make

a padded underwear here.

Underwear?

Gals knew that shit back in the fucking 60s yeah man 1860s nice tissues

popping out of their bras wow if you feel comfortable talk about the contoured pouch and bulkhead you know isn't that nice of meundis

they're like look if this isn't a thing that you want to talk about you know

that's okay i mean i guess i can't really talk about it with education because i haven't gotten it yet but uh

If nine out of ten women are swearing it, I want to see that one woman that's like, no.

Just to be a pill.

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the head of mendis is like we need we need more double entendres

that's how you sell underwear

it's like boss we haven't seen you in years

all of a sudden

get out the peanut butter put it on your toes i've got all kinds of great ideas.

There is male makeup, though.

Don't some guys wear guy liner?

Isn't that what it's called?

Like to accentuate their eyes?

In today's age, yeah.

I can't get it, right?

Yeah, I'm not sure how old this copy is.

I don't know that I agree.

Commercial's over, right?

Commercial's over, we're done with it.

I don't know if I agree with, like,

a false,

set up a false,

like, because what happens when you do the reveal and it's like, oh, it was all the population.

Well, hopefully

you're at a point where you're aroused by that time, so it doesn't matter.

I see.

You're a grower.

Keep it on until you've reached maximum growth.

It's your fault.

It's your fault if you take it off before

everybody rock.

No, calm down, Jesus.

All right.

It's kind of like how Batman,

like.

Or keep the lights off.

Yeah, keep the lights.

Well, they'll feel it.

They'll know.

But like how Batman had the fake abs on the bat suit.

Yeah, yeah, when he took that off, he still had abs.

That's true.

Like, I don't know, man.

I think you probably want to like

get a woman's expectations low and then surprise them rather than the other way around.

But

or in a healthy relationship, you know, you're out to dinner that first date, you maybe you drop that, like, you know,

I'm wearing me on these new enhanced concord ball and pouch cattiers.

Just so we know know that, you know, I don't want to have any secrets between us.

Yeah, I don't like you.

Because I like you.

She's like, what was your last name again?

Great first name.

An icebreaker.

I really like you.

I don't want a relationship to start off on a lie.

I've got no dick.

Look at my pouch.

I want you to look at my pouch.

Well, I guess it's probably maybe for shorts shorts and jeans and stuff, too.

Like, if it has that extra padding, you know, it'll.

How tight are your jeans, though?

Yeah.

Like, that's a lot of fucking fabric that's got to be like almost like shrink-wrapped to you to make to show the curves of your nuanced Migne's pouch.

Right?

I mean, like, you can't.

Or maybe you're wearing like a linen pant, you know, like suit pants or something.

Are you wearing, what are they, were they jeggings?

Were those jeans that look like...

Yeah, yeah, they look like jeans, jeans, but they're really leggings.

I got my ball and ball and pouch caddy going.

I don't know.

Would you, as a younger man, would you have worn something like that?

No.

Like if you're like, oh, wait a second.

No, no.

Because I mean, girls wear stuff that enhances their ass.

They wear stuff that enhances their tits.

Like for girls, it's like, I think Beandy's is right in that respect.

It's good for the goose is good for the gander.

Yeah.

I agree.

they whip their shirt off.

You know those tits aren't as big as their piece.

Yeah, but guys don't give a fuck.

Guys are like, ah, whatever titty.

It's great.

Well,

a couple episodes ago, we read an article about in Australia, girls don't care about that either.

Smaller the better, they said, remember?

Well, that goes against the argument that they're making for sure.

I think that, I don't know.

Is it the whole, I don't fucking know.

I wouldn't want to build up expectations and disappoint.

I'd rather lower expectations and knock them dead.

And I, that's what I need.

That's what you need.

You need on the way that straps you down so it looks like you're small.

Oh, like a Meandy's penis bite.

That's right.

And then when it's time, it's just like, oh my God, I thought I was settling for second best, but I'm getting like the full hog here.

Like, right.

Then you got him hooked.

What other surprises does this man have in store?

You're man a mystery now.

I thought he had a who knows what's around the corner.

I thought he had a tiny pecker, but now it's it's giant.

What else is it?

How big's that bank account?

You know what I mean?

That's how it starts.

That's what you want to wonder in next.

That's what they are wondering next, so you might as well fuck the code for it.

Did you see the Willy Wonka story?

No.

By any chance.

Oh, you didn't see it?

I feel like it's one of these things that people are going to have to Google because

it's so what it was was this in Scotland.

It was a Willy Wonka-themed event.

So, what happens was this guy sets up his Willy Wonka land, unlicensed, unlicensed, unapproved, yes, unauthorized.

This is in Scotland.

Okay, so there might be different libels, not liable, but there may be different copyright laws.

I don't think so.

There could be, but I mean, there's a reason that it's like, it's like Joe's Willy Wonka, or it's Willie's Chocolate Experience was the name of it.

So I guess it's kind of like nodding it, nodding at it, but not really saying that it's connected.

I would assume it is.

It cost $45 a person.

It promised guests a journey filled with wondrous creations and enchanting surprises, but instead ended up with kids in tears and furious parents.

Guests arrived to a dirty, near-empty warehouse.

The guy who played Willie described as a health and safety nightmare with a printed AI background, a sad bouncy castle, and lackluster props.

I'm telling you, just like, just Google Willie's chocolate experience and you'll see some of the pictures.

It's pretty fucking funny.

There was virtually no candy at the chocolate experience.

Well, there was no chocolate.

And Willy Wonka, the Willy Wonka guy, was told to give kids one single jelly bean and a quarter of a glass of lemonade upon arrival.

God.

He also admitted that a red flag came when he was asked to portray Willy Wonka rather than the Oompa Lumpa, which he felt he better resembled.

I'm looking at the guy.

I mean, he doesn't look like an Oompa Loompa to me, but

he says he has major Oompa Loompa energy.

And then there was also a woman who was

cast to be an Oompa Loompa, and the costume that she was presented on the day was extremely sexy versus

the costume.

What does a sexy Oompa Loompa look like?

They didn't have a picture of it, but I don't know.

I mean, I guess it would have to be relative

to an Oompa Lumpa.

It's not like, well, that's one fucking sexy umpa loompa it's like compared to that one i guess yeah i mean i guess i've seen sexy minions uh from from uh despicable me i've seen girls running around a sexy minion so i could see a sexy oompa loompa for sure why not i remember uh i if if only um

we had somebody at the table that could talk about their distaste for uh mixing kids to kids movies and sexy cosplay i don't want to hear from that person no not about that

no join the club.

A lot of people don't.

Not interested.

They were forced to issue more than 800 refunds to upset guests.

I've heard quite the contrary, though, Brian.

I've gotten emails from people who wanted to

stage a protest

on a certain date at the airport plaza.

January 6th.

They're going to

do it again.

They're going to storm the TST Town Triple store.

No, they're talking.

Take a shit on Giddam's desk.

No, no, this is pro, Giddam.

They want to have a rally here at the Airport Plaza and walk up and down the Airport

Plaza, the sidewalk where all the stores, with signs and flags to prompt Giddam's return to the podcast.

They're just trying to finalize a date to do this.

Wow.

Well,

would you join the picket line, Q?

You know.

Or

would you cross it like a fucking scab to go do Tom Steve Dave without get him?

I'd probably scab.

I could see scabbing on this one.

Yeah.

I'm not a fan of scabs, but I can see scabbing on it.

You can spit on, Q.

Yeah, you might get spinning.

Well, we have a back entrance.

I can't do the back entrance, up the back door, sneak into my own office.

You just reveal that there's a back entrance.

She's trying to sneak in and get him.

People on the roof spitting down on you.

Throwing fucking rotten fruit at you.

I'm like, why do you think this is more likely to

become a tomato?

Why do you think that I'm going to let him on the show now?

It's not up to me.

If it's up to me, get him would be on right now.

What do you think a good number is?

Like, what's a hefty number to make people notice that

there is a demand for Gedam to come back?

Like, how many protesters have to be out there staging a sit-in

in front of the general store?

I think five is funny.

I think

ten is like, okay, wow.

I think you hit 20 and you're like, we might have to get him back on, man.

What if we hit in the hundreds?

Oh, we got to get him back on.

Yeah.

We got to.

Will the local paper cover it, is the question.

Like, such a non-story.

To see it even on their online would be awful.

Hey, we've got covered in the paper before.

I thought it was a non-story, but apparently it wasn't.

That's true.

It was a pretty big story.

It's a podcast nobody's ever heard of, and all of a sudden

I'm thinking we get 100 people down there.

We got to get on News 12.

Oh, News 12.

News 12's got to cover it.

What's the story?

What's the reporter coming in reporting on?

Friend too annoying to be on podcast.

A local podcast studio was picketed today

by its fans because they want to hear some,

I don't know what would be.

As clown

read from Wikipedia

and make fucking verbal tick prompts.

When asked for comment.

Yeah, that's the other question.

Will get him picket with them.

Will he be out there?

He's got to, right?

Yeah.

Can I ask you guys, like, honestly, like, like, joking aside, and I know

he's sitting right at the table, but

how do you guys feel the show has, in all fucking honesty, how do you guys feel the show has been

the episode since he's been silenced?

The reactions

I've seen you feel.

Personally?

Yes.

I don't feel like

it's any different.

No.

Him interjecting or not.

Personally, I don't.

I mean, could I say that I haven't seen some people say it's a thousand times better?

Yes.

I'm being honest, though yeah i've seen but i also have seen plenty of people be like you know please put him back on it it's it runs right down the middle it feels like but you feel like life but you your your experience of sitting at the table you're like no change

i feel like there has been missed opportunities for him to weigh in that could have turned the show's direction into, you know, we could have turned left here, we could have turned right here, could have turned into something a different conversation, or maybe a funnier conversation.

Maybe,

maybe

it wouldn't have been funny.

You know, that's, we don't know, though.

That's the unknown.

He might have killed the bit.

We'll never know.

Yeah, it's tough.

He's killed bits.

He's killed bits.

Yeah, but he's also created a lot of

great conversations that would not have happened if not for him being around.

And sometimes, I mean, I'll say, like, there are many times he says something so witty that I'm like, God damn, like, that was quick.

Yeah.

you know he was on a Patreon show the other day and he had me dying comparing me to Art Carney on the honeymoon I just saw that episode I literally just saw it yesterday made me die laughing that was fucking funny as hell get him's finest moment of 2024 yeah it's there for no one

what show was it was it on camera I don't even remember if it was on camera all new Sunday Jeff shows well you know what we're fast approaching we're almost into 590 now right with this episode This would be 590, I believe.

Yeah, so we're about 10 weeks away from the trial, and I know both lawyers are preparing their cases.

Oh, and I have a working overtime.

I could give you a positive date on that today, Walter.

Perfect.

Okay, I've settled out those two weeks that I was worried about.

That happened like two hours ago, so we can work that out today.

Thank you for your patience on that as well.

No problem.

I have found that, like, when I'm in the studio with you guys, I miss Getham.

I found when I'm doing it over Zoom, it's a little easier with just the three of us.

And that may just be because it's an extra person.

Yeah, oh, 100%.

Find your spot.

Yeah, I don't think it's

exactly.

I don't think it's anything on Getham.

Well, plus,

we have developed, the three of us, a rhythm over the years that is kind of easy for me to slip into over the Zoom.

That when he's there,

I'm not saying throws it off.

I just just saying it's a little easier when he's not there over Zoom.

But I miss him when I'm there.

Like,

I would prefer that he was weighing in.

And I've heard conversations that both lawyers, the defense, and the prosecution have already spoken about a

plea deal.

Oh, really?

Right, yeah.

It never goes to trial.

It's just a plea deal.

It should only be the prosecutor offering a plea deal, right?

Yeah.

He's offered it up, and Johnny Law is holding out for a better deal, he said.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, get him, man.

I look forward to that episode.

Yeah, me too.

It's going to be fun.

Me too.

The next episode, we're going to have something special.

We're going to have an overkill

episode coming up next week.

And the concept is that two TSD town residents both hit me up at the same time vying to be our overkill guy.

Will Rogers, who was on the Halloween special on Tell him Steve Dave, he did the

orchestrated and put together the Sunday Jeff and Gateman doing the Frankenstein meets Abbey Costello bit.

And Tom Ilazowski of the all-new Sunday Jeff show, both hit me up and were like, what if I bring overkill stories to TSD and then I read the stories and you guys talk about them?

And they both sent that to me at the same time.

So I thought we would have a little competition next episode to see who becomes the Alfred Hitchcock of

TSD Town.

Who gets that gig

to bring the overkill stories when we do overkill episodes?

Oh, I love it.

I love it because the competition is going to be the best.

Two guys trying to kill each other.

It's going to be great.

Overwatch.

Two crabs in a bucket.

What can they offer?

They're going to tell us what they can offer as being our overkill guys.

Right.

Great.

I love it.

That's a lot of pressure, too, because we've covered a lot of topics over the years on overkill.

Right.

They've got to bring something fresh, something invigorating, something that's going to pique our interest.

You know, it's not going to be a snoozer.

It's not going to be a dud.

It's got to be something that's like, and you don't know what that could be.

You could have like what you think is a surefire overkill story, and we may just be like, somewhat, you know, we may not find it.

We read that.

Yeah, we don't care.

Give us something that's a little, we can severely sink our teeth into.

So, a lot of pressure on Tom and Will.

When you texted the idea, like, I sat up a little straighter, and I was like, oh, I was like, that is, that's so much fun, man.

I love it.

Want to hear about prize picks, Walt?

Yes, Dad.

I know you do.

Yes, well, I'm not allowed to talk about this.

Yeah, this is the one where just shut up and let me read it.

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And then I got a

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Let's talk about Patreon.

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If you're looking for your Get Him Steve Dave fix, that's where you find it on the Patreon, right?

Yeah, he's on lots

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There's multiple levels of merchandise that Wall comes up with.

Lots of good stuff.

Stuff that I see people on Twitter like, God damn it, man.

I want that.

Oh, but you just got to ask for it.

Yeah.

Talk about the shows.

shows.

Oh, talk about shows, favorite shows, new shows.

No, don't tell me what you're doing.

We've got a new show coming up.

We just did some filming on it.

Come up.

It's going to be coming out in April, I believe.

A lot of big guests from the TSD town residents doing little cameos.

So

one of those days where it was a long day to get everybody in, but it is going to be rewarding when it comes out, though.

Yeah, I remember when you were telling me what you were doing, I was like,

that is commitment right there.

It didn't seem easy to get done.

So sign up today at patreon.com slash tellemsteve dave.

That's patreon.com slash tellemsteve dave.

And thanks to everybody who's already on Patreon and supporting us.

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Thank you guys.

Thank you.

And that is it for a spot.

I don't know if you guys heard the news.

We're moving.

We're leaving True TV.

What?

We're off.

I did not hear this.

We're done.

True TV.

We are now officially, in Practical Joker, is a TBS

network show.

You got sold off?

No, no, it's they're all this.

It's the three networks, TNT, TBS, and True TV, are all basically this run by the same people.

It's owned by the same people.

Ted Turner?

Well, he doesn't own them anymore, but they were called the T-Nets

for the Turner networks, but now they're owned by Warner Brothers.

He's out.

He's been out a while.

But I don't know exactly what the plan is with True TV, but I think it's going to a sports channel or something like that.

I'm not exactly sure.

But they called us so excited to tell us the news.

And I was like,

okay.

I was like, that's cool.

I don't understand.

Apparently, it's just a bigger network, which I guess makes sense, and bigger viewership, and it's in more cable packages.

So they were all excited.

They're looking at it as a promotion.

I'm just like, you know, cool.

You know, great.

I'm excited to be on TBS.

A little part of me is going to miss being on the underdog, though you know I like being I like being the big the big fish in the in the small pond what other programmings on TBS I'm not even sure no we're still a big fish in it

but it's a big fish in like a medium pond and like you know

I like taking up all the water in the tank you know you just have to assert your authority once you arrive like when you go to

what is it called in the beginning of the season

the

spring training not spring kind of like spring training It's like when everybody meets,

no, not sweeps week.

It's like when I've been to it.

I can't believe I didn't remember the term.

Oh, the upfronts?

It's like the upfronts, yes.

Yes.

That's where you really have to start

pissing on people's legs and shit.

Well, I think the only other shows that are on at the moment, I could be wrong, I haven't done my TBS reading yet, are like American Dad, which continues to perform well, and AEW, which I watch every week and love.

I'm sure there are other shows.

Maybe Barn Again, is that them?

I don't know.

But yeah, apparently it's a.

I'm going to have to throw out all my True TV paraphernalia that I wear all the time.

When's the last day that True TV will

run?

It might have been last night with the

ALF episode.

I'm not sure.

So that'll be, yeah, so there's going to rebrand as a sports channel?

Are they going to call it True TV?

I don't.

Well, literally, I found all this out yesterday.

they were like, we're putting out a press release today.

And I'm like, oh, oh, so I don't have all the information.

Wasn't True TV before True TV, Court TV?

It was Court TV.

Yeah.

Wow.

That's a good run, though, right?

Yeah.

Hey, man, whatever.

True TV had some shows that still

people refer to in the lexicon, you know, of like, you know, the what was that hot dog show?

Wiener Circle.

Do people refer to that in the lexicon, or is that just around the air?

We covered Wiener Circle.

all the all the towing shows that they had

uh yeah lizard lick towing uh they're all the legacy's gone they're all gone they had all those porn shows hardcore porn yeah less

i'm looking at current tbs programming okay he's full of shit he's a big fish oh yes oh yeah i like that definitely the tbs is mostly like uh reruns from from sitcoms

well and uh movies AEW is pretty fucking popular, man.

And I'm a fan of the, so they might be the big fish.

Who knows?

Who knows?

The thing about doing it this long is like, I don't really fucking care who the fish is anymore.

I'm like, I can't believe we've been going this long.

So this is all fine.

It's like, it's good.

As long as the crew is employed, I'm happy.

I don't care what size fish I am.

Yeah, but it's pretty cool.

So nothing changes except you have to dial in a different channel.

That's it.

That's pretty much it.

Everything else will be the same.

That's That's all for me.

Wow.

Cool.

I know Q has to get good.

Yeah, I got a meeting that started two minutes ago, so I got to check it out.

Okay, yeah.

All right.

All right.

So we'll wait till next week to talk about Naked Men and the Pope.

Can't wait.

Is that an overkill thing?

Yeah, is it going to be an overkill thing?

Yeah, it could have an overkill bend to it.

Sweet.

All right.

Well, thank you, guys.

Thank you again.

Thank you, Q.

Thank you, everybody at home.

All right.

All right, guys.

Tell him, Steve Dave.

Tell him, Steve Dave.

Tell him, Steve Dave.